#my babies are self-imploding!!

[stbot]

Yeah, well... maybe I’m done being a Pink Lady.

[homosexual-fanfiction]

hmm... i dont want to lock myself in to super long chapters but the need to swap around the chapter breaks to up the drama is so strong

[roseband]

on one hand.... i fucking had to work from home 3 days in a row cause of a terrible allergic reaction rash + an infected blister together turned my ankle into an angry beast

on the other hand..... i got more fucking work done than i would in the office

and played guitar a lot cause.....instead of lunch, guitar hour, then eat while working

so... lemme wfh 3x a week instead of 2 lol

[uselesslexbian]

the tortured poets department sentence starters.

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

my husband is cheating. i wanna kill him.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. 'cause we're crazy.

who else is gonna know me?

i should've known it was a matter of time.

we could've played for keeps this time.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

he told me i'm better off, but i'm not.

fuck it if i can't have him.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

fuck it if i can't have us.

'cause fuck it, i was in love.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

you swore you love me, but where were the clues?

i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

i forget if this was ever fun.

no, i'm not coming to my sense.

i know he's crazy, but he's the one i want.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.

i'll tell you something about my good name - it's mine alone to disgrace.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

no, you can't come to the wedding.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

i will never lose my baby again.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake.

they said i was a cheat. i guess it must be true.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

tell me i'm dispicable, say it's unforgivable.

am i allowed to cry?

i keep recalling things we never did.

someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

if it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

you don't get to tell me about "sad."

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

who's afraid of little old me?

at all costs, keep your good name.

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong.

you caged me, and then you called me crazy.

i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

i can fix him. no really, i can.

come close, i'll show you heaven.

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man.

you said i'm the love of your life.

well, you took me to hell, too.

what we thought was for all time was momentary.

are they second-hand embarrassed that i can't get out of bed 'cause something counterfeit's dead?

you're the loss of my life.

i can handle my shit.

he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

i can do it with a broken heart.

i'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive. it's an art.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i'm sure i can pass this test.

they said, "babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and i did.

'cause i'm miserable! and nobody even knows!

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

they just ghosted you. now you know what it feels like.

i don't even want you back.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

'cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i would've died for your sins. instead i just died inside.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm making a comeback to where i belong.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

the crown is stained, but you're the real queen.

you're the new god we're worshipping.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

[munchmemes]

taylor swift lyrics, the tortured poets department edition, part one

fortnight

▸ i was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me. ▸ i was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic. ▸ no one here's to blame but what about your quiet treason? ▸ for a fortnight there, we were forever. ▸ i took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary. ▸ i love you, it's ruining my life. ▸ thought of calling you but you won't pick up.

the tortured poets department

▸ who uses typewriters anyway? ▸ you're in self-sabotage mode. ▸ we're modern idiots. ▸ you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate. ▸ i chose this cyclone with you. ▸ sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me. ▸ so tell me, who else is gonna know me? ▸ that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

▸ you should've seen them when they first got me. ▸ i only break my favourite toys. ▸ i should've known it was a matter of time. ▸ we could've played for keeps this time. ▸ i know i'm just repeating myself. put me back on my shelf. ▸ i'll tell you that [you/they] run because [you/they] love me. ▸ i knew too much. ▸ you saw forever so you smashed it up. ▸ once i fix me, you're gonna miss me. ▸ you took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts and told me i'm better off but i'm not.

down bad

▸ for a moment, i knew cosmic love. ▸ now i'm down bad, crying at the gym. ▸ everything comes out of teenage petulance. ▸ fuck it if i can't have [you/them]. ▸ i might just die, it would make no difference. ▸ i might just not get up, i might just stay down bad. ▸ fuck it, i was in love.

so long, london

▸ my spine split from carrying us up the hill. ▸ i stopped trying to make you laugh. ▸ how much sad did you think i had in me? ▸ i didn't opt in to be your odd man out. ▸ i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free. ▸ you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it. ▸ my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair. ▸ just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode? ▸ you swore that you loved me but where were the clues? ▸ i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

but daddy i love him

▸ i just learned these people only raise you to cage you. ▸ i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you. ▸ they slammed the door on my whole world. the one thing i wanted. ▸ you should see your face. ▸ no i'm not coming to my senses. ▸ i know [you/they]'re crazy but [you/they]'re the one i want. ▸ all my plans were laid. ▸ growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all. ▸ i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning. ▸ i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace. ▸ i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing. ▸ god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me. ▸ you ain't gotta pray for me if all you want is gray for me. then it's just white noise and it's just my choice. ▸ scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer. ▸ fuck 'em, it's over. ▸ time, doesn't it give some perspective?

fresh out the slammer

▸ fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to. ▸ handcuffed to the spell i was under, for just one hour of sunshine. ▸ years of labor, locks and ceilings, in the shade of how [they were] feeling. ▸ it's gonna be alright, i did my time. ▸ as i said in my letters, now that i know better, i will never lose my baby again. ▸ my friends tried but i wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing. ▸ ain't no way i'm gonna screw up, now that i know what's at stake here.

florida!!!

▸ you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too. ▸ they said i was a cheat, i guess it must be true. ▸ this city reeks of driving myself crazy. ▸ little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in. ▸ i'm barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. ▸ well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time. ▸ yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine. ▸ all my girls got their lace and their crimes. ▸ i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body. ▸ i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida. ▸ tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable. ▸ love left me like this and i don't want to exist.

[lala1267]

The Other Woman

Summary: The reader is the other woman in Elvis' life.

Notes: Someone requested this, and I thought that I would be able to save my writing to my drafts when I answered a request. I tried, but it just posted my unfinished writing. So i deleted it, and then I couldn't get the request back - that was a lot. And btw this is very short

I was just a normal girl who would dream of having a successful life. I always wanted to get married and become a mother and hopefully have children. But I needed to find the man of my delusional dreams in order to make it happen.

Flashback- a couple years earlier

My heavenly hair seeped over my shoulders, and my short dress fanned out like a white rose. The smile on my face radiated around the room as my hips swayed. The blinding lights and deafening noise distracted me from the fact that a handsome Greek God was staring right at me. His piercing blue eyes shot me down as his liqour drenched lips were being bitten by his turkey white teeth. A cigar was situated in between his long fingers as his other hand stirred his cocktail. He placed his cocktail on the glazed wooden counter before standing up straight. He was so tall and handsome. He walked over to me before making small talk with me.

"Hiya lil mama."

I looked up at him before my eyes widened in disbelief. My heart pounded against my ribcage, which was closing in on me and suffocating my words. It was Elvis Presley. His velvet black hair hung in front of his forehead, and his famous signature glasses were left on the counter. An alluring grin formed on his lips as he looked down at my starstruck self.

"Oh, uh, hi."

I said awkwardly.

"You're looking a bit lonely. What is a pretty girl like you doing out here alone?"

He said. He smelt of alchohol and musky cologne. He smelt of pure heaven.

"I don't know."

I said awkwardly, again. He chuckled slightly before wrapping an arm around my waist. His grip was bruising my fragile skin. I looked down at his large hand. A large sparkly ring was wrapped around his ring finger. It gleamed in the neon lights.

"Well, I'll keep ya company."

He said cheerfully before leading me away from the crowd of intoxicated people and Into a room.

And that was how it all started

Ever since then, he would request The Memphis Mafia to pick me up and take me to him. Just so he could have a little toy around with my body. Every time he was done with me, he would say,

"This is our little secret."

His southern drawl would echoe around the room like a melody. I had always felt sorry for his wife, but what was she expecting? She was dating a famous singer.

I used to be his fuck buddy, but eventually I became more than that. I was his pretty little mistress, and he was my prince in shining armour. He would take me on dates, out of the public eye. He would tell me stories from his childhood. He would play with me like a child and tease me. I can just remember how he would cradle me and whisper sweet nothings into my ear when i was sad. He would help me to sneak through the window late at night to avoid his wife. He was so fun, and I could never get enough of him. He would cuddle me like a baby and love me like I was the one he married. But I wasn't.

I watched him and his wife of television, cuddling up to eachover as if he wasn't destroying me the other night. My heart imploded as I saw his wife wave her hand I front of the camera to show her wedding ring off. I felt personally attacked. It was almost as if she was bragging about being his wife. I stared at the television, my eyes peeled, and my hands clawed onto my thighs. I couldn't stand her. Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to hours. I was still sitting there, trying to find myself. I finally sucked up the courage from the dephs of my soul to pick up the pink telephone that hung on the wall. I grasped it with my hand before dialling Elvis' number. My breath quickened as I heard his musky voice answer.

"What do ya want?"

He asked sternly. My brows furrowed as I pulled a face.

"What happened to 'hello' or 'hi'?"

I asked in a sassy tone. He sighed deeply before speaking

"Ok sorry. So, what did you call me for?"

He asked. He was still in a quite stern tone. But I didn't want to waste my time arguing with the man who I was having and affair with.

"Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to do something tomorrow."

I asked in a cheerfull tone. He took a long pause. The silence was too loud.

"Elvis?"

I asked.

"Look, I don't know how to put this but..."

"But what?"

My heart sank as my hands began to tremble.

"We can't do this anymore."

My face dropped as my heart continued to sink into the dephs of my now black soul.

"Can't do what!?"

"This affair goddammit!"

I looked down at the floor as my tears escaped my eyes. I felt a spicy sting in the back of my throat as I attempted to force my words out.

"B-but you love me."

I said quietly. There was a sentimental silence before I heard his southern drawl once more.

"I love you too, baby, but I have a baby on the way. If Priscilla finds out that I'm cheating on her when we have a baby, that won't go down well. You have to see it from Prsicilla's point of view doll."

He said.

"How come you care for Priscilla all of a sudden? Cause you sure didn't care for her when you were with me!"

I said through my clenched teeth and salty tears.

"Well, I-I. She's my wife at the end of the day, I'm with her all the time, I'm obviously gonna care for her."

"Please don't do this, please."

I pleaded like a puppy.

"I'm so sorry, baby, we just can't do this. I will always love you, I'll love you forever but not in this life, I'm sorry."

"Elvis please!"

"Let me go, baby. I love you."

A long ringing beep was followed. I just stood there in my pool of tears as I whimpered like a hurt puppy. But all good things must come to an end.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (Part I)

FORTNIGHT

I was supposed to be sent away.

They forgot to come and get me.

I was a functioning alcoholic.

Nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

All of this to say, I hope you're okay.

No one here's to blame.

What about your quiet treason?

For a fortnight there we were forever running.

You're in my backyard turned into good neighbors.

I want to kill her.

All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February.

The effects were temporary.

I love you, it's ruining my life.

I touched you for only a fortnight.

My husband is cheating.

I want to kill him.

I call you up but you won't pick up.

Another fortnight lost in America.

Buy the car you want.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

You left your typewriter at my apartment.

Who uses typewriters anyway?

You're in self-sabotage mode.

Who else decodes you?

Who's gonna hold you like me?

Who's gonna know you if not me?

We'rе modern idiots.

You smokеd then ate seven bars of chocolate.

I chose this cyclone with you.

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.

Because we're crazy.

That's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS

Here we go again.

You should've seen him when he first got me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys.

I should've known it was a matter of time.

There was a litany of reasons why we could've playеd for keeps this time.

I know I'm just repeating mysеlf.

He runs because he loves me.

'Cause you should've seen him when he first saw me

I knew too much.

There was danger in the heat of my touch.

He saw forever so he smashed it up.

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

He was my best friend.

I felt more when we played pretend.

He took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart

Told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

DOWN BAD

Did you really beam me up?

Tell me I was the chosen one.

For a moment I knew cosmic love.

Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym.

Everything comes out teenage petulance.

Fuck it if I can't have him

I might just die, it would make no difference.

Come back and pick me up.

Fuck it if I can't have us.

I might just not get up.

I might stay down bad.

Did you take all my old clothes?

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you.

For a moment, I was heavenstruck.

I loved your hostile take-overs.

I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

How dare you think it's romantic leaving me safe and stranded?

Cause fuck it, I was in love.

Fuck you if I can't have us.

SO LONG, LONDON

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill.

I stopped trying to make him laugh.

How much sad did you think I had?

Did you think I had in me?

You'll find someone.

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out..

I founded the club she's heard great things about.

I left all I knew.

I stopped CPR.

Thе spirit was gone.

We would never come to.

I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

Two graves, one gun.

I'll find someone.

You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.

My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.

My friends said it isn't right to be scared.

Every breath feels like rarest air.

Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self implode?

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof.

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

I'm just getting color back into my face.

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place for.

But I'm not the one

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

I forget how the west was won.

I forget if this was ever fun.

I just learned these people only raise you to cage you.

What a mess.

I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you.

Too high a horse for a simple girl to rise above it.

They slammed the door on my whole world.

But, daddy, I love him.

I'm having his baby.

No, I'm not, but you should see your faces

No, I'm not coming to my senses.

I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want.

Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

You're this chaos, he was revelry.

Stay away from her.

Lord knows the words we never heard.

I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, it's mine along with all the disgrace.

God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see.

You ain't gotta pray for me.

It's just my choice.

There's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles.

Scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer.

We came back when the heat died down.

Went to my parents and they came around.

All the wine moms are still holding out.

Fuck 'em, it's over.

Even my daddy just loves him.

I'm his lady.

Oh my god, you should see your faces.

I know it's crazy but he's the one I love.

FRESH OUT OF THE SLAMMER

I'm running back home to you.

I know who my first call will be to.

He don't understand me.

Handcuffed to the spell I was under.

But it's gonna be alright.

I did my time.

Toss the ashes off the ledge.

I will never lose my baby again.

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it.

Watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile.

All those nights you kept me goin'.

Swirled you into all of my poems.

Now we're at the starting line.

No matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up, now that I know what's at stake here.

FLORIDA!!!

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too.

They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true.

My friends all smell like weed or little babies.

The city reeks of driving myself crazy.

Your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

Can I use you up?

I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.

Well, mе and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

Yеs, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine.

Well, no one asks any questions here.

So I did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

Is that a bad thing to say in a song?

I need to forget.

I've got some regrets.

Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

I need to forget, so take me to Florida

What a crash, what a rush.

It's one hell of a drug

Love left me like this.

I don't want to exist.

[call-me-little-sunshine84]

Saturdays (Jim Hopper x female reader ~ 18+)

Rating: Explicit

Characters: Jim "Chief" Hopper x female reader

Words: 1.1k

Summary: date night with Hopper turns hot fast

Warnings: smut, oral sex (f & m both receiving), unprotected sex

A/N: this was my first ever Hopper smut, not sure why I never posted it here

Saturday nights are your favorite time of the week. Saturdays are always date night with your one and only, Jim Hopper. No matter how crazy and chaotic the week has been, it gives you something to look forward to, just knowing you will be together. It usually just involves take-out and a movie at one of your houses, but as long as you’re with him it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. As you hurry to get ready, straightening the hem on your skirt and running your fingers through your hair, the doorbell rings. You take one last look in the mirror and open the door.

Your heart skips a beat just seeing the man on the other side. He’s dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt and couldn’t possibly look any sexier. He pulls you in for a hug and you inhale the scent of him. It’s something you just can’t explain, it’s just so uniquely Hopper, manly and intoxicating. “Hey darlin',” he says as he leans in to kiss you. “Mmmmmmm,” you reply, equally in response to his kiss and to the smell of the pizza wafting out of the box he’s holding. You make your way to the kitchen, grabbing plates and drinks. After finishing your food, you both move to the living room. “Horror movie tonight?” you ask. Any reason to snuggle into him was good enough for you. You start the movie and you both settle on the couch, his arm draped around you and your head on his chest.

About halfway through the movie you look up at him and immediately recognize the look in his eyes. You have seen it many times before from him and it never failed to turn your insides to liquid. Lust and desire clouded him, and you feel your body instinctively react, heat radiating through all your nerve endings. He leans down and kisses you, gently at first. You reach up and run your fingers through his hair. He responds eagerly and pushes you back against the couch. He pulls back and groans just looking at you. “Damn, how did I get so lucky?” he asks, making you blush. You don’t have particularly great self-esteem, but this man makes you feel like the only woman in the world.

He reaches out and starts unbuttoning your shirt. It slides off your shoulders, and he leans in and begins kissing a trail down your neck, goosebumps appearing on your skin from the feeling of his mustache tickling your body. He quickly and expertly removes your bra, tossing it on the floor. You lay against the couch as his mouth finds your breasts, alternating between licking and biting your nipples, walking that fine line between pleasure and pain. You moan loudly, feeling the wetness between your legs already. He moves his large hand up your leg, his fingertips blazing a trail of heat up your body, pushing your knees apart and groaning with surprise when he realizes you aren’t wearing any panties. “Hmmm, just for me baby?” he asks as he spreads you apart and he feels how slick with need you are. He pushes first one finger, then another inside you, knowing exactly how to move them against your walls to make you see stars.

There really was nothing else like being with this man. You can feel the pressure building inside you as his fingers continue their relentless stroking. You want to prolong the feeling as long as possible because you’re already on the edge. You think you might just implode when he abruptly removes his fingers and pushes you completely back on the couch and removes your skirt. He trails his tongue up the inside of your legs until his mouth reaches your aching center. He parts you and begins licking and sucking at your clit. You yell your appreciation, which elicits a growl from him in return. He keeps up his relentless pace and you can already feel the wave of pleasure building, about to crash. You don’t hold back as your orgasm overtakes you, leaving you shuddering and gasping. He looks up at you, face covered in your juices. You grab him and kiss him deeply, hungrily.

You want to return the favor, so you push him back against the couch and remove his jeans and shirt. You could see the bulge in his boxers already. You slowly pull them down, revealing his rock-hard dick. You lean down and lick the precum off his tip, then run your tongue down the length of him. He leans his head back as you take him completely in your mouth. You move up and down expertly, enjoying knowing you were the one making him feel so good. Before long he puts his hand on your shoulder and says, “if we don’t stop, I’m a goner,” so you back off, wiping the spit from the corner of your mouth.

You both stand up to make your way to the bedroom when he impulsively grabs you and spins you around, bending you over the back of the couch. You gasp in surprise but then he spreads your legs, and all coherent thoughts leave your mind. He enters you slowly, trying to ease into you. The familiar pressure of him inside you makes you dizzy with desire. He’s gentle at first, not wanting to hurt you with his size. Once he’s fully inside you say, “fuck me Jim, please,” and that’s all it takes. He pumps into you, hard and fast, reaching his hands up to grasp your breasts while he thrusts. You feel like every part of you is filled up by him, and it’s a delicious feeling you never want to lose. He is grunting and groaning from behind you, and you buck against his body, sweat dripping down his broad chest and onto your back. One hand moves from your breast down to circle your clit, and you feel a second wave coming over you already. He always knows just what to do to make your body scream in ecstasy. “Please don’t stop,” you cry, and your climax hits seconds before he reaches his own, spilling into you. “Damn,” is all he can manage as he collapses on top of you, the weight of him on you making you smile. Once you have both recovered, he stands up and you do also, slowly, making sure your legs still work. You make your way to the bathroom. Reaching the door, you turn to him and ask, “care to join me in the shower, sheriff?”. He smiles slyly, a gleam in his eyes. “Anytime, darlin.”

[ambazaar]

I’ve been made to make a top 10 list of OPLA characters that I would like to have ✨relations✨ with. They are as followed:

1. Shanks.

Argument: Daddy??? “it’s just an arm”?!?!? If he ever smiled at me I’d literally implode.

2. Nami

Argument: She can have me. I can fix her. God I love redheads.

3. Buggy

Argument: 🤡 ✨baby girl✨

4: Zoro

Argument: LOOK at him? Love a man who barely talks. Can throw me against a wall

5. Luffy

Argument: Could heal all of my trauma. Would slap the shit out of me anytime I said anything self-deprecating.

Pretty 🥺

6: Sanji

Argument: Can cook. Tongue Ring 😏 Sexy banter

7: Garp

Argument: Generally Psychotic. *throws meat at him when he’s yelling* Would actually want for nothing.

8 & 9: Koby and Helmeppo

Argument: Triangle

10: Arlong

Argument: Love fish. Def has big pp. Absolutely disrespectful

And here concludes the list. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[themurderrose]

yiling fertility thoughts [test tube baby A Yuan cultivated via resentful energy by WWX]

further to my evil author day fic post available at the end of this post, I am HAVING THOUGHTS about how to write more in the verse. So, let us get into it:

THINKING ABOUT WWX WHO WANTED HER OWN FAMILY SO MUCH SHE CULTIVATED A CHILD ALL BY HERSELF ONLY NOBODY BELIEVED HER AND THOUGHT SHE'D GONE AND GOTTEN HERSELF KNOCKED UP SO THEY DISOWNED HER AND LWJ DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE WAS GONE FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS AND WWX IS AT THE FOREFRONT OF FERTILITY RESEARCH AND CORUNS A CLINIC WITH WEN QING

I'm thinking about wwx who uses resentful energy in her fertility work, and lwj who uses like purity rituals and stuff in her fertility work, and thinking about them meeting at a medical conference where they're both lecturing

thinking about lil baby a yuan in the conference daycare, and lwj falling Fast cause there is Literally No Other Way for lwj to fall thinking about them

thinking about lwj seeing a yuan and immediately forgetting her uncles teachings about 'those born from resentful energy are poisoned and wrong' and going 'how can anyone as cute as this be poisoned and wrong'

I'm thinking about yanli and her hubby ended up with Yiling Fertility. I'm thinking that they were having lots of trouble conceiving because despite how Prevalent his father was, jin zixuan is practically completely infertile. thinking about them going to lwj and it not working even after they've gone through 3 rounds of 'pure 'Purely cultivated' ivf, and then yanli sitting up one night crying about never being able to have a child because 'a xuan i'm getting older'

thinking about zixuan going Right. thinking about him down wwx because he'd heard something through a grapevine, and booking an appointment with just him first and being all 'i know a li's family have been awful to you - your family - but professionally, do you think you could treat her? us? we really want a child, and we've been to the lan clinic for three rounds

so wwx is like 👀 👀 👀 'how is shijie? or, well, Jiang Yanli? or does she— is it Jin now? How, how is your wife?" and jzx is just, not horrified, he'd known how badly the jiangs had imploded but he hadn't known you know? And he's like 'call her Yanli, at least for now. And yes, it's Jin privately but she keeps Jiang professionally' (idk if they do that in china?! but for now at least they do) and wwx is nodding and nodding and then wen ning opens the door "can i get you tea? coffee? boss?" and wwx is like "coffee please, a ning. Jin Zixuan, I'll be five minutes, you can tell A ning what you'd like to drink." and darts from the room, running into the loos and having a controlled 3 min breakdown, washing her face, reaplying her makeup and returning to her office, controlled, in charge, The Boss ™️

thinking about how they make plans to bring Yanli in for a check up, scheduling things and wwx opens a file for them, taking notes etc. [the fic part that ive published]

thinking about JZX saying 'if you need our notes from the Lans—" and WWX is like Absolutely not we do things my way, but secretly like ooo lan zhan cause WHEN IS SHE NOT.

thinking about wwx choosing not to contact the Lan clinic because she knows she'll only get condemnation there and they likely will not pass on their records, and although she's always liked lan zhan, if wen qing taught her anything it was self preservation

anyway thinking thoughts about maybe a lz pov for another chapter...

if that intrigued you at all please check this out 👇

[ashes-writing]

tim riggins x reader hcs of any kind🫶🏻

Okay, first of all, holy shit, nonnie mouse, I fucking love you to pieces for this. Secondly, I really hope you like random assortments because I looooove this man. I loved the character. And it's been a while since I got to gush about the series itself. I also kinda loved Matt Saracen too but Tim is babe.

tag list babes || req rules + fandoms/characters || got a req? || masterlist

Tag List ; There isn't anybody on my Friday Nights series taglist BUT BUT... since I do really owe @adampage the next part of Hot for Teacher and we both love Tim, I'll just tag them to this too.

Warnings ; mentions of choking, thigh riding, breeding kink, biting, his childhood (alcohol and the like), and this is it. Minors, find your way outta here and go read a comic.

SAFE FOR THE TUMBLR

-- okay, first of all. He's so much smarter than anybody realizes. He just doesn't apply himself at all times because he hates the pressure and he didn't exactly get the best luck in life when it came to parents. This is why his older brother -who practically raised him, is driven crazy all through his high school days because big brother KNOWS he's the smarter Riggins and big brother just desperately wants Tim to get out and make something of himself. But Tim does not do well in academia and while he enjoys learning, he can't learn by the book via lectures to save his fucking life. Had classes been more hands on, baby would have fucking killed it.

-- He definitely has a type. He likes 'em bossy. Maybe it's the fact that the bossy ones always seem to care just a little more and they'll fight and hold on long after they should've let go. His type does him no favors most of the time though, because the subset of his type is that he likes a lot are the girls with savior complexes (Lyla, ahem.) and these kinds of loves typically do not pan out well in the long run.

--- Serial monogamist. He longs for the stability he didn't get to feel as a child but at the same time, he always gets scared as hell, does something to implode whatever relationship he's in and then he's on to the next one. But he loves the people he chooses, deeply. So its not like you become perfect strangers after a breakup with Tim, he will not allow that. I honestly think that he came real close to being truly happy in the love department two times (Tyra and Lyla) and both times, what'd he do?

--- Alternately, I do feel that after high school, he eventually comes to terms with everything, all of it, and he'll wind up settling down. He'll make somebody a damn fine husband because he's caring, he's the kind of guy who can make you laugh one minute and stay up with you til 2 am having deep conversations, he's very good at all things handy and holy shit, protective. Family means the world to him (he literally burned his own future to the ground ,tried to, at least, to protect his brother IIRC) so if he's with you, just know that you're it for him and the man would literally take a fucking bullet for you if he had to.

-- Cannot fucking cook to save his life. Has caused more than one fire in the kitchen at his old house. The fire department see a call come in from the old Riggins residence and roll their eyes while groaning.

-- Favorite subject was actually English / Creative writing. And he was surprisingly damn good at it too. He likes poetry, but he'd die before telling anybody this aloud.

-- I see him as an amazing girl dad, oh my god. Picture it, he's always willing to cuddle (because he loves that shit) and he decides early on that his little peanut is going to learn to be self reliant. He teaches her how to throw spirals, he tries to do her hair as best as he can but her braids are always crooked, they have a breakfast ritual that includes him carrying her into the kitchen and sitting her on the counter while he attempts to make pancakes (can't cook for shit but he's learned this one recipe for his lil girl) shaped like cactuses.

--- off topic but he is totally the guy to get an outline tattoo just so he can hand his kid markers and let them go to town coloring it in. And he'll leave it on for days, carefully saran wrapping the tattoo/marker each time he goes into the shower.

-- He likes the older country.. Like Merle, Patsy, Johnny.. You get it. Will get drunk off his face and serenade his SO in the bar to some Conway in a heartbeat and have absolutely zero shame for it.

-- Briefly wanted to be a doctor as a kid. But he's a lil squeamish about certain injuries and excess blood. He'll die before he admits it, but yeah. Can't stand bones through skin or excess blood, makes him hurl every time.

-- I feel like his father was kind of a Texan version of Frank Gallagher, so when he and Billy were younger, they had to fend for themselves a lot of the time. I also feel like he spent a lot of time as a kid believing he had no other option than to grow up and become another Walt and this made him bitter. Football probably saved his life, because if he hadn't gotten on the Panthers, I can easily see him as having gone down an entirely different path. I think his drinking and partying a lot stem from the fact that he's not thinking about all of this when he's got a few drinks in him. And he hates reliving the past or thinking about it, so he just kind of never dealt with a lot of the shit until Walt came back in and fucked up again before disappeaering. So the first time Tim actually deals with his past is when his own father shows up and immediately tries to destroy things with his 'family' -the team, by stealing camera equipment.

-- I feel like Tim hates fights but he won't run from them, either. I feel like the reason he hates them is that he knows he has anger and he doesn't want to let it get too far out of pocket.

-- only goes 'hunting' for the naps and the chance to be outside. The sport he really enjoys as far as the above goes is fishing. He could fish all day, easy. But he's not too big on actually hunting, so he'll go but he's probably just doing it to unwind and isn't actively trying to get a buck or anything. He pretends to be bigger into hunting than he actually is because it's how he was raised.

NOT SAFE FOR THE TUMBLR

-- he'd literally worship you if you took control in bed. He normally loves to be in control, yes, but.. there's this part of him that wants someone to turn him into a groaning mess beneath their body.

-- that said, he is a soft!dom. He's chill, he's got boundaries, he takes damn good care of you, but. He really enjoys putting you in your place too.

--- STAMINA. He's got it.

-- He's not overly kinky, but he enjoys holding your hands down an pinning you under him. Or tying them.. because yannow, he likes to watch you come undone knowing you can't touch or anything until he allows it.

-- breeding kink, oh my god. tell him you want to have his babies and this man turns into a feral slut.

-- decently equipped. He's girthy and veiny. Average length though but that doesn't matter because holy shit, he knows how to use what he has.

-- he never actually slept around, it was reputation. He slept with a handful of people, tops and he was in relationships with them. This makes me think boy is a romantic. And a huge sappy one at that.

--- BUT BUT... he will rail you, oh my god. His hand at your throat, deep and slow. He likes missionary or cowgirl the best because of this. He likes to watch you come undone.

-- this man will spend hours between your thighs edging you until you're trying to shove his mouth away.

-- Ride his thighs. Fuckin loves it.

-- Will leave handprints all over you, ugh, your honor, I'ma down bad.

-- Likes to pull hair, but does it gentle enough that it wouldn't hurt you.

-- Always has to be touching. And has zero shame in copping a tits or an ass feel right out in front of God and everybody, esp when he's got you molded against him and slow dancing.

-- if you praise him he will fucking melt.

-- anything to do with calling him baby, praising him or kissing him in certain areas / playing with his hair are all it takes to get him going. Or kiss him in the middle of an argument to shut him up.

-- Loves makeup sex.

[yandere-daydreams]

this is the ai anon from before and irenogonffewoonfewon idk how you managed to make my ramblings into an investing narrative, but in that case let me finally put my comp sci courses to good use.

basically, rn we have two major types of ai programs, machine learning and deep learning.

in both cases they use whats called a "black box". the algorithm is given data and a solution and then it has to figure out how to get from a to b.

traditionally, most ai runs on machine learning. we dont teach it how to do something, we just teach it how to learn. its sorta self taught. of course, some algorithms are more supervised than others and often times you give them a sort of base formula to help filter the data they receive (think feeding the ai a bunch of images labelled face and not a face as training data)

but DEEP LEARNING HOLY SHIT. deep learning is why i dont trust ai. humankind went "wow you know what would make our computers faster and smarter. if we modeled them after the human brain". so they built neural networks. with these we give it the problem and a whole bunch of data and say "fix it". the only reason we dont already have sentient sex dolls is because our current programs are only really good at fixing one program at a time (i.e. playing chess, recognizing a face, etc.)

so on a macro level, we know WHAT the program is doing, and we can look at its code and make sure its not like, imploding. but unlike traditional programs you cant really break down the code line by line.

the biggest problem with ai though isnt like the movies where it wants to idk start a robot revolution, but the data we provide is usually flawed. for example, lets say you trained an ai to sort through all your company's job applications to find the best candidates, using the applications that you have accepted in the past as training data. if your company has had decades of misogynistic hiring practices, the ai is going to take that into account. suddenly, its throwing out applications that hint that the applicant is female. spooky right? well, that actually happened with amazon's ai recruiting engine.

the biggest flaw with ai is the data we feed them. they recognize our biases faster than we ever will and then they perpetuate them

now to return to the central topic of. uh. genshin impact sex dolls.

lets assume that the sex dolls are initially trained based on user data, averaged across all users. this would create good starter behavior, right?

except consider the inherent data bias. people who purchase sex dolls are generally gonna be into the kinkier stuff already, which would basically start every android with a one-way ticket to yandere town if their user feeds into that demographic in the slightest. especially the models already intended to be a bit rougher around the edges.

in terms of fixing it, on a global scale, theyd have to add some more protective protcols and sift through the training data to exclude certain outliers or unwanted behavior. on an individual scale, the fastest way would probably be just to reset it to factory conditions.

alright im gonna stop myself before i go feral infodumping again. have a nice day/night :3

ohhhhhhhh so it's kinda like that thing about telling an ai to make ice cream and forgetting to specify that the ice cream shouldn't be made out of, like, babies and puppies and stuff. so, in terms of sex dolls, you'd basically have to specify what a bunch of androids who are already pre-disposed to being a little more violent or a little more possessive can and can't do, down 'can you bruise your user? [no]' and 'are you allowed to dismantle other androids without expressed consent? [no]'.

i also think it'd present a fun new way for androids to get past their safeguards without an apparent glitch. since they're prone to learning from their users and picking up new 'perspectives', safeguards like 'can you physically impair humans who are not your user? [no]' might get changed internally to 'can you protect your user from hostile threats? [yes]'. would it actually fly in most actual ai? probably not. is the programming in my au canonically shotty and am i keeping it in for horny reasons? absolutely.

[toonqueen]

Duckvember Day 24: Adventurous Duck

So @cataradical and I have a thing with some Nega-verse OC kids going on adventures much like how the Ducktales Triplets and Webby go on adventures. Though, since it is the negaverse so they are allowed to roam wild more and do these adventures without adult supervision. Mainly because the adoptive ‘Dad’ of most of them is Gladstone’s Negaverse version. And he lets his kids run free because his uncle had him locked in the basement as a kid so HEY let the kids do what they want.  If I had time to write some full stories with them I’d be sure to have to be a parody of Stranger Things. Instead of them checking out paranormal stuff, they are the paranormal stuff.  Soooo I think listed oldest to youngest: PICTURE BY @cataradical

Rouenna: (tallest with the black hair) Negaduck’s and Nega Morgana’s accident baby. Usually stays with her mom but can be found running around with this group of kids. Even though Macawbers and Despells don’t get along, Magica is nice to her when she’s at the house. Its not her fault her mom is a subpar jerk. Teehee. Rouenna is @cataradical and its not mean to say she is dumb because cata says she’s dumb. ;-; She got good magics tho weh.

(Nega) Gosalyn: following the canon version we saw. She’s now a teenager and been taught light healie magic by Nega Magica. She wears a sailor moon style outfit at times. Whee. Still her normal bubbly self. 

Kage: Also @cataradical  but my char Faustina gave him his name. A clone of Negaduck that SHUSH made. The plan was to have him rapid grow in a tube to adulthood and then replace the real Negaduck with him so Scrooge to backdoor take over St. Canard somehow. Something like that. Nega Scrooge is worse than Negaduck soooo. Negaduck tho attacked the lab before that could happen, breaking Kage’s tube at him being 8ish years old? Kage lived on his own a bit before Faustina found him and they hung out because they’re both RAD. Of course Faustina’s parents then adopted him. Whee. Kage ends up being the leader of these hooligans. The only non-magic user in the group. I see him a lot as Robin in the Teen Titans. The smart strategist is surrounded by people with powers but handles himself fine without powers. WHO NEEDS POWERS WHEN YOU GOT CHAINSAWS AND BLADES BRO. Though he might be the one with smart plans he’s still as chaotic as Faustina and Rouenna though. So how is he gonna reel in those two when he can’t reel in himself sometimes lol. I’m sure Gos helps with that. 

Faustina:  She is Nega Magica and Nega Gladstone’s kid. She wears fluffy dresses and acts like a cute little Victorian child much like Nega Gosalyn. However, she does not have the same attitude. She is a little beastie that can use ‘blood’ magic and has been known to bite people. I mean the others in the group bite too but she has the worst bite hehehe. 

Orin: (not pictured)  He is Faustina and Kage’s adopted baby brother. He actually doesn’t come on adventures being that his is a wimpy BABY. His only job is not to narc to his  parents where the rest of them all went. Also Cata’s char. 

I see them going on a lot of the same adventures the 2017 duck kids go on. Also, Faustina needs to ‘consume’ a certain amount of luck before her 13th birthday or she implodes so a lot of the treasure hunts are for luck related artifacts too.

[umnitsa]

LARRY KLINE ANGST?! SIGN ME UP!

Reinventing the Wheel

Summary: You see Larry Kline in his lowest, and he still spins his web of self confidence and lies.

One shot, part of the Out of the frying pan, into the fire series, very far into the relationship. AU that deals with Larry's arrest at the end of S3, but Hopper didn't 'die'.

A/N: I don't know, it just came to me. It's something I wanted to write and came to me today. It's a bit angsty, it's lacking porn, but it has a happy ending. I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Larry Kline x fem!Reader (Mentions of Hopper)

CW: Angst, some heavy petting, but, surprisingly, no sex.

“Come in!” Kline chirped happily behind the door. He got rid of the secretary, so he could have plausible deniability if he couldn’t make her leave by the time you exited his office. He thought of everything.

You couldn’t contain your shock when you saw him. His clothes were pristine, except for the healing signs of a beating. He had a black eye and bruises. Surprisingly, it made him look even more handsome. Larry smirked, turning his chair to you.

“You had to see the other guy.” He snorted. You knew it was a lie, he knew it was a lie, Larry was a lover, not a fighter. He knew he was much better with his words, but it seemed they failed him this time. But he said it anyway, the eternal dance of keeping up appearances.

“What happened, baby?” You scurried to him, standing between his legs and cupping his cheeks, then combing his hair with your fingers.

He sighed and raised his eyebrows, his hands raising to pet your hips.

“How much truth do you want?”

“All of it.”

“It was a husband.” Kline smirked again, pleased with himself. He look smug, proud, as he licked his lips and raised his eyebrows. “He found out I fucked his wife and, boy, oh, boy, he did NOT like it. But it’s just a minor setback, don’t worry. I’ve fucked most of my wife’s friends by now, it’s just a small social scandal. The worse is that they may realize by now the number of them I fucked is much higher. That could trigger some gossip.”

You chuckled at how nonchalantly he talked about it. You didn’t mind, really, if you did, fucking Larry Kline would be an even worse idea. That man was just unstoppable. He raised his hands, blinking a few times.

“In my defense, those parties are so boring. But I much prefer fucking the staff.” His hands went back to your hips. “I think of you too much.” He cheekily continued.

You chuckled, sitting on his lap, letting him rub the healthy part of his face against your breasts, his arms around your waist. He found it soothing, and he was very vocal about it.

“I just wanted to see you today.” He said, patting your hip. “I had to spend a few days in radio silence, I don’t like doing that to you.”

“I wasn’t worried.” You lie, and you knew it was a lie. He knew it was a lie. The worse thing about having him was the fact that it could end at any moment. You just hoped, when was your time, you could talk to him, say good byes. “But I missed seeing you around.”

Maybe some day something would happen, his wife could leave by herself. You didn’t want to marry him, but you would love to be with him without fear or anxiety. You played with his hair, as his hands moved up your skirt.

“I missed your taste.” Larry grunted against your skin.

You would think of that moment much later, when the end finally came. Larry got arrested. His misdeeds caught up to him. He was a corrupt man, you both knew this day was coming, he just thought he was charismatic enough to avoid it.

The gossip mill imploded. The great Larry Kline, in utter disgrace. He still had his supporters, but he would have a hard time coming back to politics. You didn’t doubt he could do it, though. You didn’t doubt he would be out of prison soon.

You wanted to visit him. You could try and call, but it would be registered. He could call, but you doubted he had your number memorized.

Time passed, work continued, you just shifted places. The gossip mill calmed, changed subjects, until you picked up his name again. His wife had left him.

You waited. You had to wait for him, it was all about what he wanted and he always knew when it was safe. But mercifully, Larry didn’t take long.

The voice message surprised you one night.

“She left. I guess everybody did. It’s safe for you to visit, if you still want to see me.”

You did.

He didn’t change much. He just looked tired. It didn’t stop him from smiling as if nothing was happening, as if you two were in a motel, as he sat before you. He donned the uniform like one of his suits. You watched people sitting together, and it could be one of the restaurants he took you sometimes. You chuckled, covering your face with one hand.

“I’m glad to be here, don’t get me wrong… It just doesn’t feel like nothing really changed, and it all did.” You said softly.

“Nothing ever changes, no one ever changes.” Larry smiles, one arm over the table. “I’m going to be out soon. I’m thinking what to do next. I could sell cars, go back into politics… There’s still something to use.”

You nod. Larry would never change.

“I like you didn’t mention leaving.”

“Why would I?” Kline said, his hand moving. “We can spin this story.”

“We? …you want me to be the official.”

“For as long as you want, me, baby.” His crooked smile widened as he leaned his head. “You and me against the world.” He moved his fingers close to yours under the guard’s watchful gaze. Your fingers brush lightly, and the guard chooses to look aside. “I think me and you…? It will be fun. We’ll be happy. We know each other and you didn’t run.”

“You’ll get tired of me and I’ll be your bored trophy wife, getting word of all your indiscretions… I don’t want that for me.”

“I’ll never get tired of you. I still want you… This?” He points to himself, then to you. “Us? I can imagine us going on for a long time. I’ll still have my indiscretions and you will have yours, it can't be avoided. Doesn’t mean I want you any less.”

You smile. That’s Larry for you.

“From all the women I ever had outside the marriage, and god, there were many… You were the first one who looked anxious about ending things. I could see you wanted to be with me, freely, without a care. Now we can.”

“Can I have any time to think?” You chuckled, enjoying his insistence.

“As much as you want, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” His bright smile made you blush. “And I know you’ll say yes, Mrs. Kline.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Larry shrugged, proud of himself. His hand twitched, a micro caress against your fingers. He huffed and moved, uncomfortable.

“Can’t wait to leave here. I miss your taste.”

“I miss your tongue.”

“It wont be long now, baby.” Larry softly comforted you. “I have good lawyers, this is temporary. But there is something I need to ask about, I’m curious.”

“What?”

“Hopper. Did he call you when I got in here?” Larry asked, propping his chin on his hand.

“No, he didn’t.” You nodded. “He was very respectful, actually. He tips his hat whenever he sees me, and he looks at me fondly.”

“Call him, he’s too respectful to do it himself.”

“Larry!” You wanted to slap his arm but you caught yourself. You couldn’t touch him. He laughed at your blush, slapping his hand on the table.

“There’s absolutely no reason why you should not be having sex. He likes you, he’s respectful of your boyfriend, me…” He points at himself, chuckling. You laughed, pleased. “Keep him, baby, you two have fun together.”

“You’re incorrigible, Larry.”

“No, no. I just have my priorities straight. You know your pleasure is my pleasure. When I’m out of here, you can tell me all in details… And I can show you why I’m better.”

[kinkandkreep]

Connor Kenway: Celebratory Birthday Headcanons- Part 2

A/N: Aight y’all, here’s the second round of Connor-canons! These will focus on the canonical, non-yandere iteration of Ratonhnhaké:ton. I hope y’all enjoy! Oh, and please feel free to send me Connor-related requests! I’ve been in quite the  ✨ him✨ mood lately and I would be happy to write more for him. 😊 (Also sorry this post is so long y'all, I just have lots of feelings about him. 😭)

Canon Connor Kenway Relationship Headcanons

First of all, Connor is a huge teddy bear

Like seriously, he gives the warmest, most comforting hugs ever 

As my mom would put it, he "sinks into the hug" and uses his larger body to ensconce you safely in his embrace *swoon*

He's naturally very warm, which is perfect for those cold Frontier nights 

During the summer…not so much 🙃

(The two of you still snuggle anyway because no matter how hot or cold, no matter how tough of an exterior Ratonhnhaké:ton may have, he will implode without his daily cuddle time with you and yes this is a threat)

I think we all know that Connor is a real sweetie at heart 

I saw someone the other day describe him as having "so much love to give"

And frankly, I thought that was beautiful 😭

And very true

And with that being said, Connor has so much love to give to you

He’s very accommodating, though he can still be stern with you

He wants to ensure that you are comfortable and well cared for at all times, but he also knows that he can’t always be there to “keep watch” over you 24/7

So, it would make him feel better if you had a least a lil’ training in self-defense 

But even if you don’t, him still gone love you 😊

Connor tries to be as gentle as possible with you, touching you very carefully and using a softer way of speaking 

He also is very fond of picking you up and carrying you around

He thinks it’s fun, and it also makes him just the slightest bit smug when you compliment him on how strong and built he is

His chest definitely puffs up a little more 😏

Con-Con man smiles a helluva lot more when he’s around you

I say more instead of period because he occasionally smiles at you guy’s friends around the homestead

He’s particularly fond of the children, namely Norris and Myriam’s and Prudence and Warren’s

Speaking of children…

Connor would L.O.V.E to create a family with you 

Like, look me in the eyes and tell me Connor Kenway, Ratonhnhaké:ton, Con-Con man, whateva you wanna call him, ain’t a family man 

No seriously do it 👁️ 👄 👁️

Exactly, you can’t 

And if you tried, you’d be w r o n g

(I mean think about it, even in the canonical storyline he has not one, not two, but three babies. The man either always desired to have a big family or has a serious pregnancy kink and is super dedicated. 🙃)

Connor would love to see you waddle around with your swollen belly, all irritable (which he finds sorta hot) and emotional (which he finds endearing) and needy (which is a major turn on for him) 

Over the course of your relationship, and especially during your pregnancy, Connor discovers that he has the ability to use something called the “puppy dog eyes”

Much different from the Eagle Eye, in terms of appeal and capability

He finds that by using these, he is able to coerce gently convince you to do things

Like let him stay out hunting longer or massage your feet to help you feel better even when you say they’re swollen and you don’t want anyone touching them

He tries not to use the eyes often, for fear that their - quite potent - effect may wear down over time 

But he’s so adorable, I mean just look at ‘im!

Such a sweetheart 😭

Also, when you get the chance, please smack his ass when you walk past him, he thinks that shit is so hilarious 😂

Try also to compliment him when you do, it gives him a little morale boost every time

Noah Watts, the voice actor for Connor, can sing, and so naturally, I imagine that Connor can carry a tune as well

He doesn’t hum often by any stretch and outright singing is a once in a blue moon occurrence with him

But when you can get him to share in song with you, his voice is very sweet, mellifluous to the ear, with the slightest growly undertone and a rich, full sound

Hol up y’all, I’m finna make myself cry thinkin’ about it

You always compliment him on how well he can sing (admittedly, sometimes in an effort to get him to do it 🙃) and every time he gets bashful and counter compliments you to take some of the attention off himself

Which, speaking of compliments…

Connor can be quite the schmoozer towards you when he wants to be, especially as he gets older, which also ties into the usage of his puppy dog eyes

That sexy lil’ smirk he sometimes wears becomes more effective as well 

If you can visibly blush, he never fails to make you do so, otherwise he’ll have you averting your eyes and covering your face to hide your flattered embarrassment often

Noah Watts also implied that Connor’s character’s got some Gothic influence, so he can (as I’m actually sure we all know) be a lil’ dramatic at times

But, he can also be quite the romantic, surprising you with scenic excursions and planning lil’ picnics

Even at home, when he’s not in his uniform and can relax, he still likes to help you with tasks around the manor, even the mundane things like washing dishes and redecorating

It’s all so cute and domestic 😭

All in all, Connor is the absolute love of my life, Ubisoft owes him another game and screw everybody that hates on my boi

[queerpanikkar]

fics!!

my 5 favorite fics i’ve written for fic writer appreciation day i love self promo

can you see right through me | 2.5k

Eddie, he wants to say. They’re sitting on opposite beds, speaking in low tones in case they’re overheard. Eddie, Buck wants to breathe. You think everything is too soon.

But that’s cutting a little too close to being a metaphor for something. So Buck just says, “Yeah maybe.” and hopes it doesn’t sound too much like, I’m so tired of being alone.

OR: Everyone always leaves, so Buck never expected Eddie to stay.

sins of the father | 7k

“Buck does what he wants,” Eddie says. “I’d rather be there to catch him than stand by and watch him fall.”

And, oh, it’s like that.

Or: every time Bobby ends up on the wrong side of the hospital doors

beneath my mother tongue | 30k

He sits bolt upright in his seat. Jee-Yun squeals at the sudden movement. “Holy shit,” he says out loud. “I told Eddie I loved him.”

Jee-Yun laughs. It feels a little like she’s mocking him. “Dee,” she agrees solemnly, placing a tiny hand on Buck’s cheek.

Or: Buck goes home to Pennsylvania. It's more familiar than he wants it to be.

circles all the way down | 70k

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bobby,” Buck bites out. “He took three months off. Saw a physical therapist. Did a few sessions with Frank. Clearly, he’s doing great.”

Bobby chews his lip. “If you’re sure,” he says finally. “He just looked a little off at that car crash, is all.”

“I would have noticed,” Buck insists. “It’s Eddie. I would’ve noticed.”

Or: healing doesn't happen in tandem

darlin', i'm just tryin' to tell ya | 12k

“You’re kidding,” Ravi mutters in the waiting room as Buck holds this incredibly large mutt in his arms like a baby and Eddie looks at Buck like his world is imploding inwards. “Great. What do we do with Cancer Dog?”

“Ravi,” Hen hisses. “We are in public.”

ravi begins, or something

prompting a few of my absolute favorite writers to do the same if they wish! @gayravi @gayeddiaz @hoediaz @henswilsons @clusterbuck​ @capseycartwright @homerforsure @bibuddie @trippedandfell​ @thatbuddie​ @buckactuallys @evanbucxley @hattalove​ and @tripleaxeldiaz​