#my bad tho bc i had issues with it from the start but it had me hooked on its potential

[bloomeng]

I think that if you’re going to leave a fic open ended (esp if it’s long) you can mark it complete but it is your civic duty to label it open ended in the tags… or literally anywhere, in the summary, in the notes, idc about spoiling your story this is fanfic spoiling is the name of the game but fr fanfic etiquette dictates you should warn for that

— an opinion from a scorned open ended fic reader

[rosykims]

on the topic of leda being the worst i also think she also suffers from having fallen for her own hype at a very young age 😍 double combo of being vain with jealous streak the likes of which WILL lead to a crime of passion at one point or another. like she needs to be the one holding all the cards and if you get one over on her she WILL pray on your downfall at best, actively plot it at worst

[phagodyke]

aouuugh my uterus......

[dilfosaur]

well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so

let's talk!

i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow

so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)

but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out

basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol

i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension

a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.

i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.

don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer

there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball

i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done

i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep

but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself

so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project

tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point

the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed

they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess

i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me

a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me

and that! is when i finally snapped!

i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately

i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team

and the real kicker?

august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video

and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly

it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing

but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion

i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people

tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol

(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)

this shit was truly

so ass.

but i'm moving past it now

but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!

and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')

happy new year!

[lucidl0ser]

Soooooo.. this might be a lil too dark. But anyways, can I get Taiju, Draken, Sanzu, Izana and the Haitanis with a reader that’s used to lots of yelling. Like, grew up with parents who argued and yelled a lot. Often sleeping at friend’s houses bc she didn’t want to go home. So she very often starts to argue over small things, and thinks even the smallest things are gonna be an argument bc she was raised that way.

I love a little bit of angst at times♡ I hope you enjoy! Sorry I couldn't do all the characters, my attention span has been bad

*********************Taiju, Draken, and Sanzu with traumatized! Reader

*********************

Taiju

○ Taiju is very used to the yelling and arguing from being a gang leader and everything that he did to his siblings. Tho after Hakkai stood up to him, he went to therapy and learned all the yelling was not healthy.

○ He set himself straight and met you. But further into the relationship, he started to notice your behavior. At any simple miscommunication or issue, you'd blow up and start an argument. It's almost like you're trying to assert yourself as right and strong.

○ He knew he had to make some changes when after an argument over the dishes, you chose to go stay at a friend's. He needs to fix these unresolved issues with you fast.

○ Now when an argument starts, instead of yelling back or trying to argue, he takes a deep breath and reminds you he's not the enemy. He isn't going to yell at you for forgetting to take the chicken out of the freezer. It'll take some time, but he wants to help you heal. This is a safe place, he would never hurt you

Draken

○ Draken isn't gonna put up with your arguments. He's not gonna scream and yell at you, if you're not gonna discuss the issue at hand like adults, he's gonna give you space

○ Even if he has to leave his own place so you have somewhere to stay for the night, he'll go crash at Mikey's or something til you can get in a clear head space to talk normally

○ He knows how you were raised and he hates it. He hates arguments and tries to avoid them as much as possible. He's also a gentleman. He'd never yell at a woman or even think about showing himself as superior. That's just dumb

○ He knows it isn't the nicest thing, but he's gotta break your bad habits one way or another

Sanzu

○ Sanzu is a very different case. Man is traumatized as well with the yelling and arguments. He argued with Takeomi just about every day before leaving, so you two don't blend very well

○ He definitely takes the arguments personally, feeling attacked the moment you raise your voice. He definitely doesn't understand at first, thinking you're just attacking him instead of realizing your trauma, so he yells back

○ But the moment you leave to stay with one of your friends, it all clicks. And he makes some big changes

○ Next argument, he just stays silent until you're finished or realize he hasn't said a word. Afterward, he'd just ask simple questions like what you two should have for dinner or if you're gonna watch a movie that night. It's not the best, but it at least distracts you for a bit til he can find you two a good therapist

*********************

[shiongenkai]

Ghouls as Lifeguards

Because I am, once again, bored at work. Don't worry abt it. Sometimes life is making bad posts to appeal to you and only you .

Frostheim

Ohhh you'd think they're good. You'd really think. But you would be so wrong.

Jin Kamurai

His ass is NOOTTTT WORKING. Oh my god he is Not working. He's the supervisor you have who sucks and doesn't do anything yet bosses you around forever. You make a group chat to complain about him and he inexplicably discovers it. Its horrible. You hate him. And yet, somehow, you never have any issues with patrons.... (its because he Makes Them respect you. And then denies doing it. You will never learn he fights for you. He will always be That Asshole Supervisor). 5/10

Tohma Ishibashi

He's the tolerable supervisor but he's like. He scares you. Lowkey. If a parent comes up to him he's like sorry my guard did that I'll Talk To Them. EVEN IF IT WASNT YOUR FAULTTTT but the way he says it really makes it feel like your fault. However. Later you learn that parent got in trouble and was banned from the pool for completely unrelated reasons and you looked at him and he went 'That's unfortunate for them ^_^' and the look in his eyes was so cold you searched for every life preserver for yourself Just In Case. 8/10

Kaito Fuji

Took this job for: cash and to be popular with women. Ended up: sunburnt as hell and ready to go homeevery goddamn second. He turned his back once to flirt with someone and a kid started drowning and he panicked so hard he tried to save the kid and he DID but passed out immediately after. And then. He was fired. 3/10 bc he Did Save That Kid...

Lucas Errant

Bad in the other way. He's not Quite 'no fun allowed' but he's close!! Always blowing his whistle and telling kids to stop doing things. Always worries someone is drowning when they clearly aren't. Doesn't understand waterslide dispatch. The parents love him tho. Kaito is so mad about it, always. 3/10 but if you put him with Kaito they both get 4.5/10 because the sheer disbelief at the other motivates them to be just a little bit better (but Not Much).

Vagastrom

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if I saw a pool with these guys as the lifeguards I. Would feel an Emotion. Which one? Certainly An Emotion.

Alan Mido

No. Well. Yes? But mostly no. Good news is he can definitely save you if you drown. Bad news is he's terrifying, for one, and always looks mad at you, for two, and if you ask him for a bandaid he'll glare at you on accident and too many kids have cried when he's on shift so he's not. Working as a lifeguard for long. Sorry king. Maybe next time. 2/10

Leo Kurosagi

He's on his phone and I am personally going to fire him. If a kid drowns on his watch he blames the parent, and lowkey he's probably right, which makes it worse. I think if he had a reason to do his best he would and he would do great, but until then, we will all drown in the pool on his watch Together. 1/10

Shohei Haizono

He tries. He's fine at it, too, and the kids like him well enough, and he does a well enough job. Genuinely probably the best in Vagastrom. However, when Leo is fired (or quits) Sho also bounces, mostly because he finds it boring and he already has to bathe Enough. 7/10

Jabberwock

I already worked with a Ren before and it was horrible. Unfortunately, I am a Haru. I haven't worked with a Towa yet, but if I do, I'll probably burst into tears. However. ?

Haru Sagara

Have you. Do you. Well first of all no he's not getting 10/10 so don't expect that. I only mostly play favouritism. Reasons he would be good is that he's pretty diligent and would respond quickly and appropriately. He would be a great supervisor. Reasons he would be bad is that he would probably be concerned abt his arm (and would waffle abt whether to keep it on or not, which would make him hesitate methinks). and two. If he is not in jumping distance of the water he is Sprinting and using his stigma and catching a rock or whatever and eating Turbo Shit and now your supervisor needs a lifeguard and it is Bad All Around. awesome. 7/10

Towa Otonashi

good news. 8/10 if he likes you. Bad news. 0/10 if he doesn't. Someone who was rude to him starts drowning and hes like damn not my problem. someone annoys him when haru is down for the count and he electrocutes the Whole Pool. he does not work. the pool frequently has bad weather. he sees MC and leaves his stand. Awesome. Worlds Worst Pool. 1/10 bc if he likes you he'll save you

Ren Shiranami

TEN SECONDS TO IDENTIFY 20 SECONDS TO TAKE ACTION LETS GO 30 SECOND STANDARD KING!!!!!!! However. He . HESITATES. His ass is like I have 20 seconds uhhhhh fuck uhhh shit uhhhh fuck. uhh. and then its drowning situation and then its unconscious and Haru intervenes and hes like this fucking sucks . BUT! He'd be good at CPR. He can do it. My man can work an AED. I know in my heart and soul he's a lil fisherman boy who knows whats up. 8/10 bc I rated Tohma too low if I give Ren 9/10.

Sinostra

goodbye cruel world. ill miss you when im underwater. and dead.

Taiga Hoshibami

I need us all to take a second and just think about this. Can we all do that. All hold hands and try to imagine Taiga Hoshibami as a lifeguard. Can we. BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM IT. IT IS FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG. WHY IS HE THERE? THATS NOT THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT FOR HIM. PLEASE GET HIM OUT OF THERE????? To be honest. He probably wouldn't show up anyway. Sorry buddy. 0/10

Romeo Scorpius Lucci

I can't. He has a big sunhat and all the sun protection and he has an umbrella and a misting fan and sunglasses and he looks downright absolutely fucking miserable. Tells kids not to run and they ignore him and they eat shit and he's like IFTYS and the parents are like can you stop speaking letters at us and help our child. Please. And he quits on the spot. 3/10 he's too pretty to fail

Ritsu Shinjo

He has read every manual front to cover he is so prepared in an accident he's got this shit DOWN. In theory. Can he swim? Unknown. You ask him. He does not answer. Ren sees him from across the pool and they share a Look. Ritsu quietly pulls you aside. He can't. You sigh and put a frowny face next to his employee progress report. 1/10

Hotarubi

Subaru Kagami

He would be so nervous but I honestly think he'd be fine. Like genuinely just fine. He would probably be nervous every day and it'd shave years off his life as he imagines everything that could possibly ever go wrong even a little. It truly haunts him every waking moment and it feels sort of like he's dying? And Haku listens and is like hey. its. hey subaru? It's okay to quit, and Subaru is like. IT IS? And then. he doesn't quit. 5/10 book a spa vacation

Haku Kusanagi

He's a sleeper agent lifeguard. He's like so stereotypical good lifeguard he's almost Bad? LIKE . FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES HE'S DEFINITELY A GOOD LIFEGUARD. CERTIFIED GRADE A. BUT HE'S LIKE. ITS JUST OFF. IT SCARES YOU. He has an energy on stand that you can't quite place. MC looks at him and then looks up and realises he is on hour nine of Zenji Kotodama's greatest hits and that energy is On His Last Legs. and she's like ohhh okay. Yeah okay. 8/10

Zenji Kotodama

The retail post was predicated on the idea that Zenji is not a ghost because that was funnier than ghost Zenji. This post is way funnier if he's a ghost. Your ass is NOT getting saved today buddy. You see the world go dark and a hand reaches out to you and its Zenji and you're like ohhh I'm saved. No. ghost. good luck. goodbye. He'll sing a song as you go 1/10 (For real though, 4/10 because he helps keep ppl calm and also is like dont worry my dears. zenji kotodama will keep the beat going for CPR.)

Obscuary

Obscuary is actually a 0/10 dorm . Lyca 'Tries so Hard' Colt a dn Rui 'kills you' Mizuki are an outlier and should not have been counted

Edward Hart

I cannot in good faith possibly give him more than like 3 points guys. Truly I cannot. I cannot fathom who would let him be a lifeguard. Probably the same ppl who let Taiga be one. Bad people. bad people who should feel bad because WHAT IS HE DOING THEEERREEEEE!!!!! I GUESS. HE COULD GIVE ADVICE? I GUESS? 1/10

Rui Mizuki

so. um. so. SO BASICALLY? IF HE DOESNT HAVE TO DO A RESCUE ITS FINE? I THINK? PROBABLY? BUT LIKE. OTHERWISE......... i cant. picturing rui trying to do a rescue without touching the person. TEARS IN MY EYES. PLEASE. WHO LET HIM DO THIS. PLEASE HELP HIM? PLEASE? HEY GUYS? TEAM? HEY GANG? -5/10 PLEASSE DONT KILL THEM MORE THAN THEY ALREADY ARE.

Lyca Colt

He's so good. Chat you gotta believ e me. There's nothing better than a guard who is rlly willing to do their best even if they're a little confused. HE'S GOT THE SPIRIT!!!!! Lowkey he'd actually be kinda bad bc the smells would overwhelm him and the sounds and he'd prbably get too mad at the kids and yell and call them stupid and make them cry but he's also tryign so hard. You can't fault him. AND he would be good in a rescue situation for sure. Trust me. Trust me. I'd trust him with my life. Maybe not in CPR. But surely the rest 7/10 but 10/10 in my hearrt

Mortkranken

Ohhhhhh no ignore Sinostra's note. No yeah. No we've done it. Mortkranken once again wins Worst At This Job. Yup. Yep. No yeah. Yep.

Yuri Isami

Imagine Yuri in a pool. That's it. NO BUT FOR REAL? HE'S LIKE JIRO. SAVE THEM. And Jiro is like I can't swim though. But okay. And Yuri is like JIRO DON'T. and then they stare at the water and you drown and die and then Yuri is like OKAY. NOW . IS MY TIME. he's like. Do you see the vision. He can't help you Not Drown. But by god. You are in the best hands when someoen else gets you out of the water. He sure does guard your life. Just not. IN THE WATER. 2/10 BECOME A PARAMEDIC INSTEAD.

Jiro Kirisaki

Hey if you need a lifeguard for your lifeguard that's a bad lifeguard -10/10 jiro please stop drowning on the job and making the others save you its really inflating the incident report economy and making everyone's lives worse and zenji is crying so now we can't even giv you cpr to baby shark anymore thanks buddy

[10yrratiolover]

Some of my, oh so many, Ratio Headcannons

he knows a bunch of languages, all of which he can speak fluently

^ this includes Latin

cleans his rubber ducks VERY thoroughly to make sure they don't mold

he HATES getting sweaty, it's the only thing he doesn't like about hot baths and working out

has very strict morning and nightly routines, gets genuinely upset if they're disrupted

I think he and Argenti would have great philosophical debates about beauty (please hoyoverse please see my vision)

just straight up hates bright lights

^ prefers warm lighting over cold

I think his skin is naturally clear but he's definitely got some kind of skincare routine anyway

missed out on a lot of social opportunities during his teenage years due to his studies and such, don't think he would have had many friends (at least not his age)

big fan of parallel play, mostly because he gets caught up in his head so often, he's completely content doing different things in the same vicinity

he also uses Aventurine (or others) as a canvas of sorts to throw ideas and thoughts on, he'll start explaining something, and mid explanation he'll run into the answer, thank whoever he's talking to even though they didn't do anything, and hurry off to write it down

frequent bruises around his collar/bottom of his neck from his alabaster

migraine sufferer, me too stay strong king (actually I think this is canon?)

he VERY rarely cancels his classes, it could be flooded up to his doorknob and he'd send out an email to his students like "Today's lecture is still on."

^ this includes when he's sick or otherwise unwell, he could be barely standing upright and he'd still give his lecture

he can't listen to music with lyrics when doing anything because it distracts him (he'll start zoning in on the words and stop doing whatever else he was doing (did I word this right? idk it happens to me all the time))

he sometimes wears the alabaster at home if sensory issues are really bad that day

^ he verbally shuts down sometimes, which sucks bc he's got a lot to say but he typically just writes things down instead

does actually throw chalk at his students, not as hard as his in-battle attack obviously but his aim is always on point

^ his perfect aim also applies to literally anything he throws, his keys, his phone, if he wants to throw something somewhere it's getting there

sometimes completely submerges himself in the bath and just holds his breath for a bit to fully clear his head

^ he can hold his breath pretty long so he sits under there for a bit (freaked Aventurine out the first time he walked in on him doing it tho)

call me crazy but I think he'd be good with kids

[boomerdangs]

I promised I’d show y’all my human bill design some time huh?— lil late on the uptake but who cares, here are some concepts I got for this creature. Bewarb of yappin ahead!

Pre-portal:

I like to think he’s really chaotic with fashion, not really able to decide what he wants to pull so he just goes ‘screw it I want it all’ and has a bunch of different things on him just randomly out together that it’s kinda so bad it’s good vibes. I really would wanna make my final design of him a lot more extra tho and more maximalist but— this seemed like a fun place to start!

After weirdmageddon / Handy-Man au

In my mind, a lot of things would change if he was put into a human body with no godly powers post canon show or in a the handy-man au— for one, he just wouldn’t be able to handle the idea of having all those textures and patterns on him anymore like he did before (Yeah I’m blasting him with that sensory issues ray).

I feel like he gets hot easily so Soos and Melody both taught him to crop his clothes so he wouldn’t throw it off the moment he felt like he was dying from the heat. They would also have to fix his hair bc he would inevitably chop off the huge amount of hair he had before because it bothered him when it was touching his back. But hey— at least he doesn’t have those weird choppy bangs from before!

Also he had a huge scar on his chest that all these lil scars originate from, including the one on his face.

Also thanks to Kaysie for drawing some bill in the therapyrism! They don’t have a tumblr but if u have insta, they’re @/artofkaysie

[star-girl69]

The Last Time

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

Part One - The Last Time

Part Two - Cowboy Like Me

Part Three - Tomorrow Never Came (coming soon!)

Part Four - Living Legend (coming soon!)

Part Five - Pretty When You Cry (coming soon!)

—-

synopsis: the last night you spend with clarisse before she goes on a quest

a/n: had to put my own take on the clarisse leaving reader behind to go on a quest SORRY Y’ALLLLL this is like devastating fr tho i’m kinda sorry like 😭

The Last Time - Taylor Swift (Feat. Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol)

warnings: angst, like so much angst i’m gonna say it 5 times, angst angst angst angst angst, angst, hurt comfort and also hurt NO comfort bc i’m evil, kissing, cutesy until it’s not but it never really is, i felt like choosing pain, y’all should start calling me she-devil this is just so mean and evil, swearing, fighting, allusions to death, daddy issues lol, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

June 4, 12:08 PM

It’s a cold summer night. You sneak out of your bed, sheets slipping off of your shaking body, the same memories playing in your mind. It always comes down to this, the nights.

In the dreams, she doesn’t come back to you, and the nights without her are so cold, so lonely, so horrible you can stand it. They’re only in your mind, but they hurt just as bad. It’s not every night you slip into each others beds, but whenever you have a nightmare, you find your way to hers. Whenever she has a nightmare, she finds her way to yours.

You both have nightmares about the same things.

The usual cryptic prophesies, the various monsters you just can’t seem to kill, and losing each other. Demigods die. They die easily. You both know that.

Some people swear off love.

And Clarisse told you she wishes she could, she wishes she could pretend you aren’t her entire heart, but she never had a choice. You are her Achilles heel, her one weakness.

You couldn’t either. You took one look at the beautiful daughter of Ares and never looked back again.

Still, there’s a certain desperation in every demigod relationship. Touches are just a bit tighter, hugs a bit longer. Because you all have lost so much, and you all feel absence heavily. Every time could be the last time.

Your footsteps creek against the porch of the Ares cabin. You open the door only a crack, slipping in silently the way you always do, avoiding the creaky floorboards.

Clarisse is awake in her bed, the corner of the cabin. She’s staring at the moon fiddling with her fingers. You frown, but Clarisse turns to you.

You’re sure you look as wrecked as you feel.

“Oh, baby,” she murmurs. “C’mere, what happened?”

You always ask each other, but you both know.

You crawl towards her, sitting in between her legs, arms around her neck, head pressed to her chest. She holds you up so you don’t have to. You can’t, not right now.

She kisses your forehead and her hand smooths down your hair.

“You went on a quest,” you whisper. You miss the way she stiffens. “You didn’t come back.”

She doesn’t tell you she’s not going on a quest. She doesn’t tell you she’s going to come back.

“I’m here,” she says. “Do you feel my heart? I’m here, and I feel yours. It’s beating so fast, baby, you have to take a deep breath.”

Tears well in your eyes. You dig your nails into her soldiers.

“Oh, Gods, please don’t leave me,” you cry.

She doesn’t tell you she won’t.

“I’m here, I’m here right now. I’m here right now, listen to my heart, baby, listen to my heart.”

Clarisse swallows back the bile in her throat. She tries not to lie to you, she tries. But sometimes, on cold summer nights when you find your way into her bed, and she doubts you’ll remember this in the morning-

“I’ll always be here, Y/N. I’ll always be here.”

—-

June 11, 5:46 PM

If you thought the nights without Clarisse were bad, then the days are even worse. You miss her. You never realized how much she was there, silently, always watching, not until you told her to stay away from you.

You sit at the dinner table, the sun setting. Most of your siblings have left- but you’re here with May, sitting there as she watches you like a hawk and interrogates you.

“You haven’t been the same. Not since, like, last week. And something happened with Clarisse, it’s obvious. I gave you a few days because I thought you were just having a fight, but you’re not.” She sighs and grabs your hands. “What happened?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” you dismiss. She stares at you with such heartbreak in her eyes.

May is the sibling you’re by far the closest with- you like similar things, and people sometimes think you’re actual full-blooded siblings because you look so alike. She was the first person you ever met at Camp Half Blood, and after Clarisse, she’s the first person you run too. But now that Clarisse is leaving, and she’s already gone, May is all you have left.

You squeeze her hands. Your best friend, you want to tell her, but saying the words aloud makes them real.

She’ll find out tomorrow.

—-

June 8, 10:57 AM

She tells you privately, she smiles softly and leads you into the woods, she holds your hands and touches your face and kisses you like she’s not about to break your heart.

“Why are you bringing me out here?”

You know her like your own mind. You spend so much time with Clarisse, next to her, it’s like you have a window to her heart tattooed on your arm. You know, even when she doesn’t want you to.

“I just have something to tell you. And I wanted privacy.”

She doesn’t tell you it’s not a bad thing.

Your stomach sinks and you hold her hand tighter, and even though she’s about to break your heart she kisses your cheek and squeezes your hand.

“Just you and me, pretty girl. I just wanna talk, okay?”

She leads you to a clearing with a beautiful view of the strawberry fields and you smile, sitting down and letting your face feel the sun. You can feel her looking at you, but the beauty of this place and each other only blinds the two of you temporarily.

“Okay, what do you have to tell me?”

There’s stones in your stomach. Your heart is squeezing, you can physically feel the tension and anticipation in your organs.

You look in her eyes and you pray to every God that it’s nothing.

“I love you, you know that?”

Clarisse never says I love you, and your stomach twists more.

“Of course I know.”

She lays down on her back and opens her arms. She sighs when you lay your arm over her stomach, head on your chest. Her hands grip onto you tight.

She doesn’t speak for another minute, like she’s just soaking you and the sunshine up, like it’s the last she’s ever gonna get.

“Chiron… a week ago, I think, he called me to the Big House.” You hum, staring at the treetops. “Him and Mr. D… they… uh.”

“You can tell me,” you pretend you aren’t scared.

“A quest,” she blurts. “They have a quest for me.”

“Oh,” you mumble, stupidly.

A quest could mean a million different things. It could be an errand for Chiron and Mr. D, or it could be something preordained by the Fates.

She could have a choice or she could not.

“It’s three children of Ares. It’s about some sort of ancient blood feud between my father and- it doesn’t matter. But it- it doesn’t look good-”

You sit up. She follows you, eyes wide, hands splaying around where your body used to be on hers.

“‘It doesn’t look good’? Clarisse, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

She grabs your hands. “It’s dangerous, like any quest-”

“It’s not like any quest though, is it?”

She presses her lips together. “No. No, it’s not.”

“You didn’t accept it, did you?”

She stares into your eyes.

She looks so pretty today, her hair half-up half-down. Her eyes always shine so brightly in the sun- they reflect it. Sunny days with her make your heart squeeze, because it always looks like she’s got suns for eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I am-”

You tear your hands away from her.

“Why- why would you- Oh, my Gods, Clarisse, why would you do this?”

You cry, and she reaches for you, her face twisting into something painful. But how can she expect you to run to her when she’s the one hurting you?

“Just- just not right now. Not until the 13th, let’s just have this together, okay?”

“How, Clar, how?”

She grabs your hands and doesn’t let you pull away.

“My father asked for me, he asked for me. I have to go. I can’t refuse my father, Y/N-”

You rip your hands away. “He doesn’t care about you, Clarisse. But I do. I care about you.”

She rubs her temples with one hand, the other still reaching for you, eyes screwed shut.

“Please don’t be like this. Don’t be selfish, I have to this. He asked for me, Y/N. This is such a huge step-”

“A huge step to him loving you? He’ll never love you. Our parents will never love us, because they’re incapable of caring about us. But you have me, Clarisse. You have me, and I love you so much-”

“You don’t know that,” she whispers. “You don’t know they can’t love us.”

“And neither do you.”

She reaches out to touch the tears falling down your face.

“Clarisse, please,” you cry. “I’m here. I’m always here, and just- just don’t put your father over me, please don’t, not anymore-”

She grabs your face. “I’m not going to choose between you and him.”

You’re full on sobbing now, and Clarisse never cries, but just the look on her face at seeing you cry makes you cry more.

“But I’m here, Clar, I’m here, I’ve always been here, please-”

She shushes you and tries to hug you, but you can’t, not when your mind is spinning to fast, not when you want nothing more than to be in her arms because you know if she just holds you then you’ll shut up and forget. But you can’t, you can’t, not this time.

Not when all the pieces are sinking together.

The only time you see her is when you sneak into each others beds, dates in the woods, secret looks across the courtyard, pulling each other into the bathrooms or sheds or something to make out.

You needed her so bad you didn’t realize that you were never first. You didn’t care, but at least she was still there.

“Did you even think about me when you said yes?”

She tries to hug you again. You stand on shaky legs.

“Y/N,” she whispers, half-broken, half-disbelief. “Don’t do this.”

“I just need a day,” you say, but you both know what this means.

She laughs, runs her hand through her hair.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this. Fuck, I know it’s not perfect, we’ve never been perfect, but I need you right now. Don’t walk away. Don’t be like that.”

“And if I asked you not to walk away? If I asked you not to be like that?”

“I’m not being like anything!” she yells. “You’re the one who’s being a selfish brat.”

You cross your arms and look at her. You want the ground to swallow you whole. You want to jump into her arms and never leave.

“Don’t, okay. Just don’t. Stay, and we’ll talk, I’ll try, you know I’m not good at this but I want to try, we have to try for us.”

“Clarisse, there’s no us anymore. You’re leaving.”

“Not until the 13th, Y/N. We could have something so good if we just… pretend.”

You could play pretend with her for hours. You could be married and you could live in a place where no monsters can touch you, where there’s no one to hide from. Where there’s no memory of her father, no axe hanging over you.

“I don’t want to pretend. I want you.”

But it’s Clarisse. It’s the girl you love, and you’re young so you believe you can fix this.

“Don’t go,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

You’re both glaring at each other, stupid teenage girls who fell in love too hard too fast, and now you’re scrambling at the world changes around you. You love her so much, but you finally realized that she doesn’t care about you, you’re her secret, and you haven’t had a backbone for so long but you will have one now.

“He asked for me. I already accepted. I need you right now, so stop being selfish and accept it.”

“How am I being selfish? How am I being selfish for not asking you to kill yourself? For asking you to put me first, for once?! You never put me first. I see that now. You never-”

She scoffs. “We both know that’s not true.”

“But I don’t, Clar. I don’t know that’s not true. So tell me, show me, make me believe it’s not true-”

She crosses the distance between you, even though it feels like a thousand miles, and plants her hands on your face. She kisses you, she kisses you like she loves you but not enough to stay.

But you kiss her back. You kiss her back, because she’s the love of your life. You’ll always come back like a kicked dog, like a ball on a chain. You’ll always come back to her like you go back to your bed each night- mindlessly, wordlessly, because it’s routine. Because you sleep in your bed and you need sleep to live, you need her to live.

She pulls back, breathing heavily against your lips.

“You are the only person who matters to me.”

Your grab her wrists and take her hands off your face. She tries to resist you, keep touching you, but it’s halfhearted because she’ll always end up doing the little things that you want.

“Only because the Gods aren’t people.”

“Y/N, stop.”

“Why do you go back to him? Why? Again and again, you go back even though he feels nothing for you- and you know it-”

She steps back, takes your hands off of her wrists.

“I-I’m sorry,” you breathe, you see the hurt on her face. “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t, it’s just, I love you-”

She blinks and stares at you like you just broke her favorite toy.

“I-I should go.”

You want her to say something, you want her to protest, you want her to kiss you again.

“Maybe you should,” she agrees. “Before we both say more things we’ll regret.”

Her face twists back into what she lets everyone else see, that hard mask of indifference, of cruelty and ruthlessness.

How can she hold you so tenderly and look at you like this? How can you pretend you’re still the girl she loves when the fog clears and you realize what you said?

“Yeah.”

You turn and leave the clearing, you can’t look at her hurt face anymore, tears streaming down your face. Clarisse stays there. You swear you hear the sound of muffled crying.

—-

June 12, 3:46 PM

Chiron announces the quest. It’s dangerous, that’s what he says, and he didn’t want to cause commotion in the camp by letting it come to light.

Are you horrible for wishing you had found out now? You would have had this untainted time with Clarisse. You would have loved her. You wouldn’t have had to pretend, because it would be real.

She’s selfish at every turn. She only tells you when it’s convenient for her to tell you, when she knows it’ll ruin it, ruin you, and lose this time together.

Her and her siblings stand next to Chiron.

She stares at you the entire time, and you don’t look at her once.

May hugs you when she hears, and you don’t speak, because how can you speak when everything is wrong? Everything is broken?

The mirror is broken, and what you thought you saw is no longer there. You only see your shattered self.

—-

June 13, 12:38 PM

You lasted maybe 20 minutes. You went to bed early, slept fitfully for a few hours, and woke up gasping about another nightmare- the same one you had the last time you slipped into Clarisse’s bed. You barely remember the nights you have nightmares, but you always know you go to her bed and she holds you, tells you it’s alright.

The dream, anxiously waiting for her to come back, spending your nights alone but warmed by anticipation and hope- and she just doesn’t. She doesn’t, and it all becomes dark and dull in the dreams and they turn into nightmares.

You cry and you scream and you curse the Gods for not bringing her back to you, but no one can hear you. You’re laying in your bed screaming and your siblings are gone, you know Clarisse is, and you feel so alone.

Feeling so alone it makes your bones shaking is terrifying. And you should be used to it. But you got used to Clarisse and her warm body. You got used to her touches, her words, the way she made you feel even just being in her bed- you could always sleep in her bed because she was there.

After she leaves, would anyone notice if you snuck into her bed? Would anyone notice if you laid your head on her pillow and pretended it was her chest? Would anyone notice if you slept in the shirts she left behind?

You last 20 minutes staring at the ceiling before you’re up.

You don’t care if Chiron will catch you. You don’t care if the entire camp will see you, you never did, but a private relationship was nice. It was yours and hers and no one else’s.

Private is different from secret.

Your feet sink into the soft grass, wrapping your arms around yourself, legs freezing in a cold breeze. You stop, looking at the Ares cabin.

The Ares cabin is just a house full of the best fighters at camp. Everyone looks at it and feels a little safer. You look at it and feel safer.

You’re filled with dread but you don’t care, because you know she’ll let you in, you know she’ll let you into her arms.

The door to the Ares cabin whips open.

Clarisse is there, feet turned left, toward you and your cabin behind you.

She stops and stares.

“Sorry,” you breathe. “It’s your last night, and I…”

“I know,” she says.

You step forward, all you want is to forget, all you want is one more peaceful night. As soon as you step up onto the porch Clarisse grabs you and pulls you in tight for a hug.

Her hands are spread wide across your shoulder blades, her body is pressed to yours, her head hooks over your neck.

“You’re so cold,” she whispers, because that’s all you can say when you don’t want to talk about the things that really matter. Of course she’s warm. She’s like your own personal heater, always warm and always comforting.

She lets go after a moment, hesitantly, but winds your fingers into hers. She leads you to your bed, you avoid the freaky floorboards better than her-

“I never have to be quiet in here,” she whispers. “It’s funny.”

You hum, she urges you onto her bed and climbs in behind you. You face the wall, breathing in heavily, shivering as she wraps herself around you. You didn’t realize how cold you were until she was holding you.

You didn’t realize how damaging this relationship was until you were so wrecked by it.

You didn’t realize how much you loved her until she was leaving.

You can feel her wanting to say something.

“Shut up,” you mumble, holding her hand.

She laughs.

“Okay, whatever you want.”

You remember this might be the last time you’ll ever hear her laugh.

This might be the last time she ever holds you.

“Don’t cry, please,” she begs, kissing the back of your head. “If I can’t talk you can’t cry, I hate when you cry.”

“I can’t,” you breathe, shoving your face into her pillow.

“Hey, hey,” she murmurs, flipping you around so you’re facing each other. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

You don’t think she’s ever apologized this much in her life.

“It hurts me too,” she continues, you press your face into her neck and feel yourself exhale against her warm skin. “If it didn’t have to be like this…”

“It doesn’t,” you mumble. “It doesn’t have to be like this, so don’t let it, Clarisse.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” she whispers, her voice cracking just a bit. So quiet only you can hear it because you’re pressed up right against her.

You want to just climb into her, make a home for yourself in between her ribs where you could always feel her heartbeat and always know she’s there.

“Can’t I just come with you?” you cry.

She grabs you a little tighter, like she’s annoyed just by the thought of you being in danger. “No, Y/N. No, you’re going to stay here at camp, and you’ll be safe. I made my siblings promise to look after you, you’ll be okay without me-”

Her siblings are the only ones who know, but that’s only because every once in a while Clarisse won’t let you leave and you’ll oversleep and they’ll see you in her bed.

She swears them all to secrecy and as their cabin leader and their sister, a fellow child of Ares who’s doomed to want someone they can’t have, doomed to hide in the shadows- there’s so many campers who sneak into the Ares cabin at night, and you all ignore it.

There is a certain desperation with demigods and love. Every time could be the last time.

You wish you could swear off love, you wish you could, but Clarisse has you so wrecked you can’t breathe without thinking about her. You run on her, like she’s coffee or sunshine, she’s the IV stuck into your arm, and you don’t want to imagine living without her.

You think of a future without her and it’s just blank.

She holds you tighter and let’s you cry, louder and louder, muffled into her neck. She says she’s sorry but she doesn’t mean it, she can’t, and you don’t care. You can’t care, not right now, not when this is the last time.

“But I’m here right now, okay? I’m here right now, so just listen to my heart.” You grab onto her, trying to keep her here with you- but she won’t. She’ll go. She’ll leave you, and there’s nothing you can do.

You realize with such a startling finality that this is the last time. How deeply you feel it in your heart, not a pain but just an ache, an emptiness- it’s almost beautiful how it washes over you like a wave, like your heart stops and you’re just left a shell.

You breathe in wildly, but you can’t catch your breath, not when she’s half-here, you’re stuck in this hazy reality. Fading in and out. Her heartbeat. Her breath. Her touch. Her voice.

“I’m here right now,” she says. “I’m here right now,” and it’s the last time.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss

—-

DID WE HAVE FUN OR DID WE HAVE FUN?!?!??!??

[chattemagique]

yandere! AllMight headcannons + chapter 1 (?)

tw: self-harm, kidnapping, use of curse word (fuck), stalking, obsessive behavior, mentions of daddy issues, indirect mentons of suicide, reader has mental issues fem!bodied reader, mentions of sex

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

PROCEED WITH CARE

- Basically his associations with his first crush and you influenced his main delusions. Also that you wanted to become a superhero, which is so altruistic, just as she was and he was. You were totally made for him. And even in this difficult situation he was there as your savior to guide you towards the right path.

-yan! All might doesn't see you as a villain

-rather as lost young woman or rather babygirl (im sorry for the old ass joke, this actually stayed in my drafts for almost a year)

-delusional yes -his roles in reader's life borders between someone similar to a father figure and a lover, leaning more towards the lover side -would play a therapist with you -could give you the whole world if only you stayed with him and listened to him, stop committing crime and maybe found yourself some hobby or activity that you like

-he would try to be your therapist, would do a little research on mental health and self-harm as he's busy with work/or ask the therapists that worked in the same company as him

Just imagine sitting in his lap while crying in his chest. His hand slowly caressing your back while whispering sweet, comforting words in your ear that it's going to be alright, that he's going to help you get through this.

-ngl I feel like (y/n) would be the first one to initiate sex despite All might being delusional he wouldn't force himself onto you he's just not built this way (kidnapping doesn't count tho ) besides he did that to save you from prison

-It'd be after some time, when he's tried talking to you, feed you with your favorite food and many other interesting, cute desserts that he'd usually bring Midoriya, walking with you in the garden (in the house that he'd brought you in) out of desperation you just kinda started to open up to him, bc there was nowhere else to go.

-he's actually completely fine with you disappearing and not appearing in public anymore, if you don't wanna be a hero

-if you do, then he will "wipe out" any information about this robbing case which has your name, using his connections or/and suggest you to change your name 

***

There used to be a time, when you wanted to become a hero. Not anymore tho. You're even started to doubt whether this wish was yours and not somebody else's.. Were you yourself or just wearing a mask, pretending to be a good person, when in reality just a hypocrite.

The bank's visitors and employees all had their faces planted on the floor while your partner in crime used his quirk to emit temporarily paralyzing smoke to watch them.  You took money from safe deposit boxes.  Someone's money lol.

You didn't expect that he would be here. You were hoping that some average hero would arrive here, when you had already stolen some amount and slipped away together with your partner in crime.

"I AM HERE"

-Shit

Having barely fastened your bag, you headed to the back exit, which led into narrow alleys.  Hearing how your partner was arrested, deciding that all the attention would be on him, you ran as far as possible, weaving through the streets.  Finally seeing the descent into the subway. Since it was night, there was no one in particular and you headed as far as possible.

"Damn, I thought, that I might have to use you, " you caressed the gun through your jacket. It had two bullets, in case if this ain't going to end well and you wouldn't want to suffer in prison. It was that bad and hopeless.

The thing is he still remembers you from the first time he met you 2 years ago, when you were leaving your job at night. He saved you from the robber with a gun.

You reminded him of his first crush, your face, your body, your hair, smell, voice, your beauty, everything. And your potential that he saw in you, when you still wanted to become a superhero.

From that time he watches you all the time.. At first he thought that it wasn't normal, but he just couldn't help himself to keep watching you. Especially when he saw the scars on your wrist.

So the days went on and on and you totally forgot about this accident and couldn't even imagine that someone like nr.1 hero was stalking you.

Obviously, he was very disappointed when he found out about your robbing plans. And he never really liked your villain friend. How could somebody like you even be friends with him?! But that was also a part of your charm, since you tried not to judge people by their cover. So why were you then so judgemental about yourself?

A sudden looming figure was approaching you from the other side of the tunnel. You tried to change the directions, but it was following you. You're at a dead end now. Either you're going to the police, either to them now. Well, you decided to test your chances and meet them.

"okay" you thought, "imma just act as if I'm lost and looking for a way out towards the forest."

You saw some tall middle aged man and decided to just walk past him, as if you're looking for another exit.

"y/n"

You stopped.

"You're on a wrong path."

"Sorry?" you were confused. Who the fuck was he?

You turned your head. Your eyes met.

No. There's no way it's him.

He transformed into his full form and the tunnel room seemed so small in a second.

You didn't realize how you released the bag from your hand and were going to try to run through walls. Your quirk wasn't that advanced, but you could walk through walls. Only it was already too late as you approached the closest wall and felt your heavy eyelids closing.

You woke up in bedroom. Similar to the one you had at your home. You even thought that It was the one and that this whole non-sense from yesterday was just a dream. But it wasn't. Soon you noticed the difference from your usual room.

Your left leg felt heavier than usual. There was a black anklet that you couldn't remove. The room lacked some decor and also the drawers and wardrobe had other clothes you've never had. After inspecting the room, you decided to see what else could be hidden here. There was a big, dark brown woody closet with mirror. You opened it. Suddenly you noticed that the back of the closet was covered with pictures of you. Pictures of you being outside and inside of your room through window.. Scary shit. What the actual fuck.

You just remembered that it was All Might who you've met yesterday in the tunnel. The shocking memory made you fall back and hit the side of the bed.

"Ouch!"

Suddenly the door knob started moving and he walked in.

"(y/n), are you okay?"

You were probably delusional. You were surely delusional. This situation wasn't even serious. It couldn't. You were sleeping. Sleeping for sure.

If only.

"W-what do y-you want from m-me?" your voice was trembling.

"I want you to feel and become better.. with me." Nr.1 said surely.

[anxiteyandsleep]

I'm so sorry if I made you flustered about the smut question- didn't mean to! 🫢🫣😆

Okay so I'm gonna try and request this: 🙏

Could I please request Thranduil x Male reader who's this tall and buffed tiefling (big horns, long strong tail) who looks scary asf but is actually a total sweetheart? He only looks intimidating bc he's always wearing his armor, covers his face with a cloth/a mask, has dark makeup around his eyes and basically looks like a fricking demon?

He wears a cloth/a mask around his mouth bc he has a big open scar on his cheek (naaah nothing too graphic he just can do this trick with food where when you're facing his healthy side he sticks a carrot into the opening (scar) on the other side and chews without even opening his lips- totally normal- he did it in front of Legolas once and that poor child didn't sleep for a week). He's not ashamed of it, he just doesn't like the stares.

Even tho I'm as old as the first LOTR movie I only just now became a fan and I saw that Thranduil has an injury on his face as well (but hidden) so that got me thinking...

Maybe reader and Thranduil are a couple (reader was treated badly for being a barbarian tiefling -> not by Thranduil <- but proved himself when he saved him) and he then made reader his personal guard, became friends and then lovers.

Thranduil is curious about reader hiding his face but never pushes him to uncover himself (Like why are you hidding yourself from me hmm? Why don't you kiss me? Your other facial features are gorgeous asf, for a tiefling barbarian who rips goblins in half with his bare hands you could even compete with some elves I know-).

One day Thranduil has some issues with his own injury which reader sees and comes to his aid, Thranduil is embarrassed and nearly breaks down, tears fill his eyes bc his love saw his hideous face and is afraid he will leave him (god I'm so bad at romance bro) but reader just chuckles, takes the cloth/mask from his face and shows Thranduil his own injury.

Now they both have scars! They know each other struggles! And they love each other like never before! Happy ending- No but really, angst with fluffy comfort for our two boys and mainly for the elf himself, he needs the love.

Maybe even emotional way back to their shared bedroom by sunset all lovely dovely bc why dafuq not- just Thranduil giggling kicking his feet and twirling his hair as he's princess carried-

Jesus...I got way too into this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sorry for it being so long, I honestly don't know how to write short requests...also sorry for any mistakes, english is my second language.

Add something, remove something, it's up to you. You don't even have to write it if you hate it or you're not comfy with it. 😘😘

This is adorable ahhh and dw you didn't make me embarrassed or anything! I may have missed some details, this was written over the course of multiple days with very little sleep😭

I included my head canon that Thranduil is blind in his one eye from the dragon fire, as well as that when low on energy he can't keep the disguise up.

Slight TW for blood, scars and such???

It has been almost a year since you and Thranduil had started dating, you were his personal guard and beloved boyfriend, he adored you so much. He never knew why you hid your face but he didn't pry, especially considering he hides his face in a way too.

Thranduil had always been impressed by you, a strong tiefling with a kind soul, much like a gentle giant. Sure you were rather... Gruesome in battle, using your bare hands to fight and always returning covered in blood and gore. It was truly terrifying but Thranduil loved it, especially after you had saved him from a spider attack.

Today, however, Thranduil was hiding away from his beloved barbarian, tucked away in his room with nothing but a small candle dimly lighting the room. He had overworked himself again, his head was aching and he had no energy left to maintain his disguise, the burnt skin and muscle visible, a sight he despised.

When you heard that Thranduil was taking the day off and locked himself in his room, you grew worried. He's never done that before, usually on his days off he spends them with you, taking a walk through the garden or getting some much needed sleep. So of course you immediately went to check on him, making your way to your shared bedroom.

"Thranduil? Are you alright? I heard the guards say you weren't feeling well and I-" you fell silent as you entered the bedroom, squinting as you adjusted to the dim light but you knew exactly what you saw. You never knew Thranduil had such a scar, it covered the left half of his face and his eye was completely white.

Thranduil had to turn his head completely to actually see you, quickly attempting to cover up the scar but alas, he couldn't manage to use his magic in such a state. He never wanted you to see this side or him, he wanted to keep this horrid scar hidden from you.

"(Name)... What... What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on patrol?" He managed to get out, clearing his throat and doing his best to speak in his usual tone but his voice still sounded shaky. Perhaps if he didn't bring attention to the scar, you would just ignore it as well

"I just got back, my love..." You replied, slowly walking closer to Thranduil, head tilted slightly in curiosity as you examined the scar. When you reached the edge of the bed, you knelt down before him, resting your chin on his legs. "is that from the dragon you faced?"

Thranduil sighed softly, closing his eyes as he couldn't bare to look at you, afraid he'd see disgust in your eyes. "yes...I managed to survive but..." He vaguely gestured to the scar, shaking his head slightly. Thranduil finally opened his eyes again when he felt your strong hands holding his, the touch was so gentle and caring, he just had to see you.

The way you were looking at him surprised him, your eyes were full so of love and admiration, it made his heart swell.

"We kinda match" you hum in a soft whisper, reaching up to remove the mask you always wore and revealing your own scar. You weren't ashamed of it, you mostly hid it for everyone's comfort as the sight of your open cheek often made people uneasy and you hated the looks they'd give you.

it was now Thranduil's turn to stare in awe, one of his delicate hands reaching up to gently trace around the scar, his fingers soft and gentle as always. "hm I suppose we do, my love" he replied softly his hand trailing up to gently trace over your horns, following the pattern and ridges of them.

"forgive me for keeping this from you... I... I do not like people seeing me in such a state but I should've told you" Thranduil apologized, moving his hands back to gently cup your face, being careful to not disturb the scar

You couldn't help but chuckle a little, leaning into his touch while your tail wagged slightly. "there's no need to apologize, I kept a secret from you too"

Thranduil felt as if a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders, the stress slowly melting away as he held you in his hands. "Well now that we both have told the truth, how about we rest?" He whispered sweetly, leaning down to capture your lips in a tender kiss, one you eagerly returned.

Without breaking the kiss, you got off your knees, cradling the back of Thranduils neck with one of your hands. You kicked off your boots, accidentally sending one flying across the room but you didn't care. "a nap sounds good, yeah" you muttered against his lips as you carefully push him back onto the bed, climbing on top of him to continue the kiss.

Thranduil couldn't help but chuckle, pulling back from your lips just enough to talk. "My love, this is not napping ~" he didn't really mind as you continued to pamper him with kisses, his delicate hands reaching up to gently tangle themselves in your hair.

"mm we'll nap after, then"

[martinblackwoodhater]

Why U hate Mahtin? Just curious, BC everyone has their own things they like & dislike 👍

(Also live Jon reaction BC why not)

been a while since ive answered one of these so i guess we could do a little refresher ok 😸😸

my most justified reason is the instances where he physically hits jon ((mainly 172 because that's the one i remember best)) - it just felt unnecessary in the writing and seemed to me like a really weird response from a character that's supposedly in a mostly healthy relationship?

He in no way NEEDS to hit jon, as im pretty sure that just shaking him gently or even just like snapping his fingers over his face or something less abusive could've quite easily worked, or could've at least been explored or tested as a possibility, especially as they genuinely were not in a high-stress scenario in this moment, and there were no real time constraints,

he literally just went "sorry😬 you were starting another [statement] and i didn't want to wait", which i don't really take to be a genuine apology with the casual annoyed tone he said it in if you listen to the episode ((feel free to to form your own opinion tho i just feel like my interpretations pretty valid here)) - he said it like he'd already assumed he was completely justified, and more just adding the little "sorry! 😜" just to be a little more polite, rather than because he's genuinely apologetic for unnecessarily hitting his boyfriend.

And, while i don't like to speculate or make points based on things that don't have true canon evidence, the way it's just brushed over does make it seem like this is a semi regular occurrence?

like jon doesn't seem at all surprised or disturbed in the way that i believe he should be if this was something completely out of character for the relationship. he just gives his soft little "wh-what...?" as he's clearly so easily startled out of the statement that it just didn't seem needed for martin to do that at all? and obviously i understand this (his resigned, unreacting reaction) could also be a result of his own like human identity issues and the whole thing that's happening in the apocalypse ((and i am in no way saying he's the perfect boyfriend/person either!!)) i just feel like it wouldn't be completely out of left field to make the connection that this is far from the first time martin has resorted to hitting him, mainly due to the completely unnecessary nature of the event shown and the fact it is largely unaddressed.

((That is, however, largely speculation based so I'd understand if you don't want to take that point onboard, and i feel like the isolated incidents we do hear are enough to support my point there anyway to be fair.))

(TL/DR: He hits jon in a situation that i don't feel explains or excuses his actions. His reaction too, unapologetic as it is, doesn't redeem him for me)

i also, even before i had reason to truly justify it, I also just really disliked his character for more petty reasons.

He has that trope i really dislike where they're clear kinnie bait (self esteem issues, poor/complicated relationship with mother, queer, etc) and therefore what could be genuine flaws and portrayed as so, it also makes it clear in the writing that his flaws are like somewhat delusional so that people who relate to him can have that like comfort by proxy.

This again as a point is largely petty and speculative and just my personal reason why i started disliking him if you were curious, rather than a reason i expect you to agree with.

I also just don't like how weirdly hypocritical and conflicting his character was in s5, and this isn't me misinterpreting the writing, because obviously i appreciate when a character is deliberately misleading or wrong in their opinion or whatever and it fits their character, but with martin it just kinda doesn't feel like that? he regresses back to such a childish view of the world (monsters bad!! avatars evil!!!!), rather than doing any reflection on his avatar boyfriend, and it doesn't even feel narratively interesting for me personally like it just makes me kinda frustrated that there's no real conversation about this or resolution to be found there.

(There's the whole conversation about "martin manipulated the fandom wowowow🥺🥺" but i just feel like that isn't really true, rather we got a weird abrupt character change where there wasn't THAT much of a character to begin with before and this also is me going on a bit of a tangent without truly thinking this idea through so I'll leave it here but feel free to discard the idea rn)

also i related to him when i was about 12/13 (when i was a real loser) but then i grew up and so early martin reminds me of me when i was about 12 and at my worst but also like he didn't even have any of the redeeming qualities i had back then and also now ((good at everything, good at art, intelligent, hilarious and funny, nice to be around, humble, transsexual, not blonde, not even ugly, ragebaiter online - just in case you wanted a few examples)) and instead he's just kinda annoying and whiny? and s5 is, as we've already discussed, what i somewhat am i beginning to consider abusive the more i talk about it. also he's in london and i lowkey hate londoners they ruined south england now everyone thinks im posh

anyway i got off track but if you want any more evidence for any of my points i can try find it and if you want any elaboration you just need to ask!!

wow i should really draw jon at some point

[noeggets]

felt like drawing my kids, sorta AU cause i drew them kinda different half my designs, i aged up the navi's sorta

information about them bc it's long and self indulgent from me talking to my friend

Enzan

Age: 11 (but turns 12 before Lan does making him slightly older and he will use this in a argument if he wants to)

I HC him french because of his english name they just moved to Dentech city at some point

Protoman

Age: in his 40's. 2 or 3 years younger then Enzan's father.

Backstory He was Enzan's mom's Navi (her name is Glace bc i watched the dub but apparently this website believes Enzan's english translated name is a swear word but his name on his wiki means Hot Blaze or something like that but it's french so his mom is french that is the HC i will stand on) i diagress, when she passed he was given to Enzan

other information: His Navi model was discontinued because it was buggy and glitchy, nobody could fix it (nobody wanted to try) so they just stop using whatever AI brain chip he has to make Navi's like him. He dislikes Enzan's father because he feels like he should have never got his original netop pregnant because she was sickly and giving birth is what ended her life he believes because she was ill he whole heartedly believes that what it was however the exchange was Enzan and he loves that child as his own, very rough relationship with Enzan's father

Lan

Age: 11

other information: His Mom and Dad are divorced because Yuichiro loves his work more then anything excluding Lan and Megaman he loves his kids. they are still friends and love Lan equally. Lan lives with his mom Megaman used to live with their dad in his testing phase but he's in Lan's PET so he lives with Lan and his Mom now. his original home is at Yuichiro lab, the PET and Lan's Computer is his new home he is able to jump to whichever he decides. His dad is Netopian/American

Megaman

Age: age unknown youth model - He hasn't existed that long but at the same time he was created to be around Lan's age

Backstory

created from the dna of deceased twin of lan hub. technically he is a twin but he isn't Hub he is a copy created with the DNA. He is not Hub tho.

other information: he doesn't understand social cues and tends to speak his mind, he is wiser then Lan but not knowledgeable in subjects people/Navi's his age should know about. He can solve complex problems and understand wrong from right but when it starts becoming being a world experience issue he can't really help you

Maylu

Age: 11 (older then Lan younger then Enzan, taller then Lan brags about it sometimes)

other information: American/Netopian, has whatever an american accent would be called in this world, she had a hard to learning Japanese but can speak it fluidly, cannot write it that well. Very chill at the same time the loudest person in the room if bothered. Likes this kid name Zackery in their school cough Zero COUGH he has a whole story that he is Willy's son who Willy turned into a Navi but nobody knows it yet

Roll

Age: youth model around 16 or 18

Backstory

Normal custom edited Navi from base youth model in stores no interesting background

other information: adapted the traits of being kinda selfish and needy. It's hard for her to stand not having her way, very girly Maylu did not make her this way she just developed a personality outside of her environment because she does not act anything like Maylu this is not a bad thing but it isn't a good thing either lol we love roll still

[fereldanwench]

i'm finally starting to feel human again and i actually have the time to do an update

so um

the update:

ya girl is diabetic (idk what type yet tho bc doctors are clowns)

so this week i learned that birth control side effects and fucking diabetic keto acidosis apparently have some overlapping symptoms lmao

all the issues i was having? the leg cramps, fatigue, shortness of breath--it's because my blood was literally poisoning me! i was also peeing a lot, but this honestly didn't register with me as being that abnormal because i have always had to pee a lot because i always drink a lot of water. i was also losing weight, but i was trying to lose weight, so again, didn't register as a bad thing

diabetes was obviously not what was my first assumption was given that all this also perfectly aligned with my birth control issues (i honestly thought i was going to have a blood clot or something but everything was fine on that front, fortunately), but it was something that was kind of at the back of my mind because my brother is also diabetic. he was misdiagnosed as a type 2 at the beginning of 2019, but after he couldn't get it into remission despite losing almost half his body weight, he found out that he's actually the adult-onset type 1 or "1.5" type of diabetic

despite me telling the doctors this, i was literally told they "don't care about the type" because my blood sugar was super high and the initial treatment is going to be insulin injections regardless. i'm trying to keep my stress levels at a minimum right now so i will forgo a rant but needless to say, NO ONE LIKED THAT RESPONSE!!! (my brother was especially pissed--he could basically be a blueprint for what i went through but why listen to patients when they answer your questions about family history when you can just ignore them!)

so yeah, i'm on fast-acting insulin injections 3x/day with meals and long-acting insulin at night, and a very carefully curated diet with lots of veggies and lean protein. my glucose levels are steadily getting lower and i am feeling much, much better, but my sleep is all fucked up from the hospital visit (on top of the time change) and i'm still a little light-headed if i move too fast

my follow-up is friday so obviously i will be asking for the tests to determine type because what the actual fuck and can hopefully fine-tune my treatment

emotionally/mentally i'm... fine. ish. lmao. seeing that my brother has gone through this and seeing how well he's been able to manage it and still live a very full life (including traveling a lot) i think has done a lot to prevent this from feeling too scary and overwhelming. he and i are very close too--he actually picked me up from the hospital so he could give me some 'betes starter gear--so i have a good support system here

but the crying comes in waves, lmao. i had a nice good breakdown last night. not knowing the type is kind of delaying my ability to process it, too, because if it's type 2, i will put this bitch into remission!!! but if it's type 1, that's gonna be a lot harder to cope with, i think

i really get most emotional when i tell other people about it bc i immediately feel the need to assure them i'm fine, lmao. and for some reason other people telling me i'll be fine also makes me cry so it's just kjdfhgjdkfgdfgdfg

anyway, i wanted to give an update since i said i would and i know i certainly appreciate it when my friends who get hospitalized let me know they're okay lmao, but despite my usual oversharing tendencies, i actually don't really want to talk about this here! at least not right now. something about it feels very personal to me, idk. maybe it's because this is such a high-judgement disease and i just don't want to fucking hear shit about it!!

and for my final thought, i would just like to say that potassium IV drips fucking suck balls, and my arms are so goddamn sore and bruised from all the stabs and pokes and prods and squeezes

[xf-cases-solved]

mulder vs. scully and her period

-first off, he 1000% keeps track of her cycle - it's vital to his survival - but he would never ever ever ever tell scully that

-he learned to start keeping track after too many blunders during their first year working together. like, he'd had girlfriends in the past, obviously, but he didn't travel the country constantly with them day in and day out. even diana was rly reserved about her period, preferring to keep that sort of thing to herself. but scully is a medical doctor. while she may take issue with any emotional aspect, and be uncomfortable and embarrassed about that part, she is completely nonplussed by the physical aspect, and talks about it very bluntly and openly, and that took mulder by surprise at first. he wasn't used to being around a woman who wasn't bashful about it, and it made him uncomfortable at first, but eventually he was like "ok, this is going to be part of working with her, i need to get over myself and up my game"

-in their entire time working together, mulder has made one (1) "are you on your period or something?" joke. it was about six months into their partnership, and scully was (rightfully) irritated at him about something and he had tried for some levity. let's just say that he, ah... he has never made that mistake again

-he always has a tampon on hand. like, always. it is more reliable to ask mulder if he has a tampon than it would be to ask another woman in the bathroom if she has one. he started keeping them on him when she got her period on a three hour long flight that had an hour delay on the tarmac, and she'd accidentally forgotten to take a couple tampons out of her checked luggage, so he'd watched her shift around uncomfortably with a makeshift pad made of thin, coarse airplane bathroom toilet paper, and he felt really bad that he couldn't do anything about it, so on the flight back, he bought a travel pack pack of like, six tampons when he went to get sunflower seeds, just in case. then at some point he was like "mb i should keep a couple in my overnight bag for her," and that led to, "she's in my apartment a lot, i should throw a couple under the sink," until eventually he was King of the Tampons

-(he even has different absorbency levels, okay? like, he is on top of his shit)

-he used to buy chocolate for her on long drives when he knew she was on the rag, always saying something like, "it was two for one, don't worry about it," even when it wasn't, until he started to pay closer attention, and he realized she actually tended to crave salty foods instead of sweet ones, so he switched from chocolate to potato chips and pretzels. (he would play it off as though he got them for himself and then would keep offering her some, bc he knew that would help her not sit there and (completely needlessly) dwell over eating junk food)

-she gets really bad cramps the first day and a half or so, and he haaaates it, bc even tho she waves it off, he can see the way she clenches her jaw, and is hunched over whenever she thinks he's not paying attention. if she's over at his place when they're happening - even if they're working - he makes her sit with a heating pad and encourages her to drink the whole glass of water when she takes her midol. he has massaged her lower back on more than one occasion

-she stopped getting her periods regularly when she was going through cancer treatment, her body too sick and weak. about two months after going into remission, she bled through her slacks on some rural highway in arkansas, and although mulder listened to her complain and validated her frustration, he was secretly so relieved, bc he knew it meant that her body was really and truly starting to heal

-her periods become kind of a taboo subject in a way they hadn't ever been before once she learns of her infertility. she doesn't talk as openly about them anymore, but he's still always prepared and after four/five plus years together he doesn't need her to tell him how to make her feel better. he can intuit it. she doesn't say it, but he knows that she's grateful

-her periods become a dark topic when the ivf fails. the period that confirmed it didn't take was hard on both of them, and she spent every night of it at mulder's apartment letting him hold her and allowing him the privilege of caring for her, which she usually resisted

-he actually noticed that she missed a period before he was taken in oregon, but he had no reason to suspect it was anything but just a fluke, so he didn't say anything. when he glanced at his calendar and saw what week it was, though, he did have a fleeting moment where he was like "what if?" not in a serious capacity, but in a wistful way. i mean, they'd been going at it like rabbits and had never once even considered using a condom. like, why would they, right? but in his brief fantasy, he thinks about how she would react seeing a plus sign on a pregnancy test. it would be familiar - that look of disbelief and awe she got whenever they witnessed something unexplainable - and he would be the cause of it, and how amazing would it feel to be able to give that to her? to give that to both of them? but he knows it'll never be anything more than a pipe dream (bitch, you thought!)

-we won't get into sad later stuff, but i'll just say that he really, really resents the fact that he wasn't there to take care of her during her pregnancy. and he would have been fantastic at it. he would have toed the line between supportive but not overbearing perfectly. she would have had a beautiful nine months, like she had more than earned. he'll never totally forgive the universe for taking that from them

-and to conclude, let me just say for the record, mulder is all about period sex. orgasms help cramps, right? he's just being altruistic. ("YOUR orgasm doesn't help my cramps, mulder" "hey, we'll never know for sure unless we try")

-lay down a towel, lay down your woman, and get to it. bro eats crime scene evidence. there's no way he'd let a period stop him from fucking. god bless and amen

-the end

[bloodyminyard]

what the fuck is up with jeremy knox? what we know from tsc

keeps receipts for everything (writing the cash tip he gives on the receipt as well; reference to Jeremy having to "jump through hoops" to give Cat and Laila money for rent/groceries without his stepfather knowing)

has issues with his older brother Bryson (avoids confrontation with him "would rather leave his keys" and was "too tired and sore to put himself through that") (William The Butler helps Jere avoid him) (comparison to Jean? "if Jean was already asleep, bryson might be too" could be irrelevant tho)

there was a "scandal" Jeremy's freshman year at USC (his sister Annalise mentioning "end the way you started" in reference to jean's tranfer causing a scandal)

Annalise hates exy, but she used to go to all Jeremy's games in high school, but "never forgiven him for sticking with it"

"the fall banquet that broke their family in half"

he is/was in therapy (cat also says “the right therapist can be life changing, take jeremy for proof”, what was jere like before therapy?)

Jere does not fuck with his step-grandpa (annalise saying "what's grandpa think of this investment of yours?" and jere responding "he is not our grandfather")

annalise also states that Jeremy "destroyed the family"

Jeremy also walks annalise out and opens her car door for her? it may be just a nice Jeremy thing but it struck me as weird bc she’s being mean to him lol, like does Jeremy feel the need to wait on his sister for some reason? perhaps out of guilt?

he doesn't like being called "Knox"

weird about cops (avoids walking past them; "there was little to no chance he'd know them, and no reason they'd recognize him") (possibly means he's had interactions with cops before/regularly?)

secret sibling? we don’t know for sure how many siblings he has, my assumption is four, the two we know about (older brother Bryson, younger sister Annalise) and another unnamed brother that Cat mentions, she hesitates before saying three siblings, but then says “there’s bound to be a jerk or two once you pass four kids” (in reference to bryson) directly after she says he only has three siblings, cat ur not very good at this does he have three or more pick a side

Jeremy is "permanently on his stepfather's bad side" (his words)

he was uninvited from family dinners for a week bc of him dyeing his hair (generally points to him having to keep up certain appearances but i will lend that more to the whole “family of a politician” thing, but could be relevant)

so theories?

i’ve seen just general homophobia being a theory but to me it doesn’t fit with the vibes

with the keeping track of what he spends his money on i’ve also seen him possibly having a drug problem

the secret sibling is very interesting, are they dead? did jeremy have something to do with it? maybe secret twin????

i keep going back to annalise hating exy tho, what does exy have to do with it???????