#my desert rose however....... needs work. i don't think i know how to take care of it very well.

[raiiny-bay]

wip

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 22 ~ Scars

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 5.4k

⚠️ TW : Mentions of attempted suicide & SH scars

In this chapter ~ When Rick and Shane decide to take Randall away from their people to drop him and fend for himself, things seem to go wrong on the other end. Beth becomes suicidal after witnessing the death of her mother just days prior, leading Rose to comfort her in a time of need. However, the heaviness that followed was a lot more than she anticipated, though luckily for her, Daryl helps her pick up the pieces.

It had been about two days since they brought Randall back, and he eventually woke from his unconscious state. Since then the place had been chaotic.

The group was constantly going around and around in circles about what to do with this guy, so much so it gave me a pounding headache. Because most of the time the arguments wouldn't go anywhere. People would just repeat the same things that had already been said, causing us to feel stuck in the same place as no one really had a solution.

Until Rick just made the final decision to do what he wanted to since the beginning, take the man far away from the farm and drop him off on his own.

So now that the man was finally able to walk and balance decently on his own, Rick and Shane took a car to drive him out in the middle of nowhere, leaving the rest of us nervously waiting for their return. Everyone eventually seemed to agree with the plan despite the possibilities of him coming back, but it's not like we had much of a choice.

I for one was trying to keep myself busy all day, helping Lori with some laundry, staying to keep watch on top of the RV, I even made a run into town earlier that morning with Glenn. We had found a few different stores in a small part of town that had some useful things in them. But there was a little something else I found that I was extra excited about besides the food and supplies.

When we walked into the last store, I saw it. The perfect thing to give to Daryl. I had never gotten him something in return when he gave me my sketchbook and watercolors, but now I had something that I thought would suit him quite nicely. It was a black leather vest with stitched angel wings on the back.

In my mind, I hoped he would really like it and I had planned to give it to him later that night. Once we all knew Randall was taken care of.

Currently I was washing dishes with Maggie, occasionally talking about random things, trying to get our minds off of what was happening today. I could easily tell she hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened either, the anxious feeling of the man somehow making his way back to her own home couldn't have been easy to deal with. But I had hope that everything would work out just fine and things would begin to move smoothly again.

She wordlessly handed me the last plate that was in the sink, water dripping off of the edges as I took the towel in my hands to dry it. She leaned her back up against the counter as she stared down at her shoes, the sound of me stacking the final plate in the cabinet brining her out of her thoughts as she glanced back up to me nervously.

"Can I talk to you about something... more serious?" she asked.

I only nodded my head as I listened, throwing the towel back down on the counter to give her my full attention as I copied her stance.

"Well, Glenn's been avoiding me lately, and he told me that when he was out there trying to fight those guys, he froze at one point. He was saying that since I told him I loved him... that's the reason he froze, and my dad had to save his life. He said he was afraid to die... thinking about how it would affect me." she finished almost a little shamefully.

My eyes widened a bit as I was a little thrown off and not expecting that, but I was still quick to respond and reassure her. "Listen, I know that it might not feel too great that he's avoiding you, but the truth is he loves you too. I don't think he should be avoiding you, I think he should be cherishing these moments he has with you, but y'know he's a guy." I pointed out, giving her a look she would be able to read.

She laughed quietly to herself as she nodded her head in silent understanding, "But he'll come around, I promise. You just gotta give him a little time." I finished.

She pressed her lips together and nodded gratefully, "Thank you." she said, "I feel like I can really talk to you ya know? I'm glad you're here."

I smiled, "Yeah, me too." I spoke, opening my mouth again before closing it back up quickly. My dumbass almost slipped up and said something about how I was glad that I stayed, but I bit my tongue before it could come out.

My eyes then absentmindedly panned over towards the tray of food that Maggie had set off to the side a few minutes ago, "Is this for Beth?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

She followed my gaze and nodded, "Oh yeah, I was about to bring that up to her when we were done."

"Oh I got it, I was going to check on her soon anyways." I said, moving towards the counter.

She smiled gratefully, "Thank you. You know Beth really likes you. Ever since you taught her how to play those few songs on the guitar it's really all she can really talk about. I think seeing you would cheer her up."

"Yeah, I had fun teaching her, I'm sure she'll be ready to learn some more in no time." I reassured her.

Maggie nodded her head and I fully picked up the tray in my hands, walking out of the kitchen to head upstairs and into Beth's room. It seemed quieter than usual as I made my way up the familiar stairs, something seeming a little off. But I mostly blamed it on Rick and Shane's absence, still not here even after leaving early this morning.

For some reason the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, sensing something might go wrong out there, not necessarily with Randall. But with each other.

After what happened with the barn and the whole fight that came after that, the two had been at each other's throats ever since. It was way far off from how they used to act around each other, seeming more like brothers than friends. But something just clicked and now they almost acted like strangers. Though it was none of my business, I still noticed.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I made it up the long staircase and lingered by the closed door, knocking softly a few times before I entered. To my surprise, I heard her soft voice from the other side invite me in, causing me to open the door as best as I could with the tray still balanced in my hands.

"Hey hon, it's just me." I announced as I walked in, "I brought you something to eat, and to see how you were doing."

Her gaze panned over towards me, and my breath hitched slightly in the back of my throat. I knew that familiar look all too well. I tried to not let it affect me too much in case I was wrong, but I had a feeling I wasn't. She looked utterly broken and depressed, much more pale with bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She had just lost her mom, I came to find out that she was the walker Beth ran to after everything happened. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have felt worse for her after finding that out, now more than ever seeing her like this.

"You can just set it down here." she said, pointing over towards the side table next to her bed.

I did what she asked and stood there for a moment as she stared at the sandwich on the plate, "Do you want me to stay, or do you want some space."

"Some space. If that's okay?" she asked.

"Yeah of course," I said immediately, "Just...call if you need anything." I finished with a smile.

She barely gave me a noticeable nod before I turned on my heel to give her some time alone, but I couldn't just brush off the vibe I picked up. It again could be nothing, just being paranoid over something I was reading too much into. But in case I was right, I didn't just want to keep it to myself.

I ventured back down the stairs, peeking in the kitchen again to see if Maggie was around, but the room was empty by the time I got back. A sigh left my lips as I turned back around to try and find her, but I managed to spot Lori entering the house right as I was about to come down the hall.

"Oh hey, Lori?" I called out as I approached her.

She turned towards me with a small smile, hanging up her jacket, "Hey, what's up?" she asked.

My eyes glanced back up the stairs momentarily before turning back to her, slightly lowering my voice, "I just...I'm worried about Beth. She just seems a little off and I was going to find Maggie to let her know but-"

"I can tell her." she offered with a nod, "I'll keep an eye on her until she comes back."

"Yeah that would be great." I spoke gratefully, "She's just up in her room and wanted to be left alone... but I don't know I think Maggie should know."

"Absolutely." she agreed instantly, "I'll tell her the next time I see her, okay?"

I nodded, "Thanks." I said with a small smile, passing her as I moved to exit the house.

I felt a little bad not telling Maggie about it myself, but knowing someone else would keep an eye out for Beth gave me a little piece of mind. I didn't want to hover over her or pick up any overprotective instincts even though in the back of my mind I knew it was inevitable. I just wanted her to be okay.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, leaving nothing much to do around camp and everyone simply doing their own thing for the day. After not being able to find Maggie, looping around the farm a couple of times, I assumed she was back in the house at this point. So I took the much needed time to myself.

A few hours passed by with me just laying down in the yellow tent trying to relax as best as I could. Spending most of the time reading the book Daryl had stolen from me when he got hurt and it actually turned out to be pretty good, only drawing me more in with each chapter. The details were amazing and I loved the plot. I didn't plan on giving this back to him anytime soon.

I hadn't seen him for most of the day because he decided to go out hunting fairly early in the morning, leaving camp before the sun even rose. He offered for me to come with him, but I declined as I needed to go out on that run with Glenn to get some things for myself, and he understood. I just hoped he would be back soon along with Rick and Shane who continued to be gone for far too long.

Damn it was like everyone was missing today.

After closing in on the last chapter, I finally shut the book after what felt like forever, blinking my eyes a few times to adjust them. For hours I had been reading tiny words on these pages and I felt that it was time for a break. So, I placed the book back in my bag, standing to leave the tent and walked outside a little to stretch my legs, leaning from side to side as I was hunched over for many hours.

I glanced around the small camp to see who was around, before my eyes suddenly stopped on Carl sitting by the RV. He seemed distant as he glanced at the comic book sitting in his lap, barely reading over the pages as he sloppily flipped through them. A pain in my chest suddenly dispersed upon seeing him like this, knowing that he hadn't been the same since he witnessed Sophia coming out of that barn. But who could blame him?

He was grieving in his own way, separating himself from the others as much as he could for just some time alone to think. I hadn't had a proper conversation with him since that day everything went wrong, keeping my distance as that's what he seemed to wish for. But I shook my head as I began to walk over towards him, wanting to talk to him for the first time in what felt like too long.

"Hey kid." I greeted him.

He glanced up and gave me a slight smile, "Hey." he spoke as he closed the book to give me his attention.

I moved to take a seat next to him on the ground, "So, what're you reading? Tell me about it." I said.

His eyes lit up "Really?"

I chuckled a little, "Yeah, why not. Who's this?" I asked, pointing to some sort of superhero.

His excited demeanor never faltered as he went on to tell me everything that was happening in this comic book. Who all of the characters were, what their powers were, and what their mission was. This was one of the first times I had seen him get excited about something in what felt like forever, and it warmed my heart at just the sight. He began to slowly open up a little bit more the longer we talked, changing the subject a few times to talk about his favorite cartoons he used to watch before the outbreak.

I enjoyed watching him smile, it felt like it had been some time since it last happened, and I was just glad to distract him even if it was only for a few minutes. A kid his age should never have to go through half the shit that's he's been through, though he was tougher than I ever could've imagined.

After we finished talking for a while, I left him to read it in peace after that. I wanted him to have his space too, and I never wanted to overstep any boundaries, especially when it came time to grieve someone.

I found myself heading back into the house to grab something to eat afterwards, but as soon as I walked in, I jumped a little as I suddenly heard screaming from just up the stairs. I didn't hesitate for a second before I was rushing up the steps two at a time, jogging into Beth's room to see Maggie and Lori were yelling and banging on the bathroom door.

"Woah, woah, what's happening?" I asked.

Maggie's head whipped around to face me, "Beth...Beth tried to kill herself and now locked herself in the bathroom, I heard glass." she spoke quickly, continuing to pound on the door, pleading with Beth to listen.

Panic flooded through me. She tried to kill herself? And was now attempting again? I stood in the doorway frozen in shock as I felt as though I couldn't move a thing. But then my eyes quickly darted around the room, looking for something to get the door open. Lori had moved to search the room for the key, frantically looking through her drawers as fast as she could, but I spotted a metal rod sitting in the corner of the room. I didn't think twice about it as I stepped forward, picking it up in my hands before telling Maggie to move out of the way quickly and she jumped back.

Sticking the thing in between the lock and the wood, I pushed on it as hard as I could in an attempt to pry it open. There was a sudden crack after a few seconds before the wooden door suddenly flew open, revealing Beth standing there with her hand over her wrist, blood pouring out of it. Her head whipped over to us frantically as soon as she heard the door breaking, tears streaming down her face and her heart no doubt racing out of her chest.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed, and Maggie didn't waste anymore time as she went in to pull her close.

I ditched the metal rod in my hands, stepping inside the bathroom only to realize how severe the cut actually was. Blood was now running down her arm and onto the tile floor, the amount of pressure she was putting on it clearly wasn't enough. I quickly placed my hand on Maggie's shoulder to get her attention, gently pulling Beth out of her hold.

"Go get your dad, he's going to need to stitch this up." I said, trying to hide the panic in my tone.

But she caught it even though it was disguised, quickly nodding her head as she left right along with Lori to try and find Hershel as fast as possible. Beth looked up at me and opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out as she ducked her head, causing me to immediately shush her and bring her into a hug.

We all had different experiences with mental health, everything was dealt with differently, but I somewhat knew how she was feeling. I had been in her position not that long ago and seeing her standing there when I first opened the door, brought all the memories back, so fast it was like a tidal wave. The whole situation nearly knocked me off my goddamn feet.

After standing in place for a while as she sobbed into my arms, I slowly started to bring her back into her attached bedroom, sitting her down on the bed so she could try to relax and focus on her breathing as she put more pressure on the wound.

Hershel frantically came in soon after that with a needle and thread and started to stitch his daughter up as she cried. I stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand to offer her some type of comfort I was able to give. Though it was heartbreaking hearing her cry, and even more heartbreaking seeing Hershel try to pull himself together as he worked. I tried to think over the right things to say to her when the time came, but I felt that there was no right thing to say. What could you say after something like this?

After Hershel was done he said he would talk to her later and soon left the room in a hurry to no doubt let a few tears fall, leaving Beth and I alone again. She slowly laid down on the mattress after he left, her cheeks still stained with tears as she tried to calm herself down, with me rubbing her back towards the end of the bed. The silence slowly becoming deafening.

"Are you mad at me too?" she suddenly asked. I could feel the pain in her voice.

I whipped my head to look at her, "Oh my God honey no, I'm not mad at all. And neither is Maggie or your dad, they just love you so much. Seeing you like this... it hurts them, you know?"

She sighed as she shook her head, "I just feel so alone in this, like they don't even understand. Nobody does." she muttered.

"You're not alone." I said with a shake of my head, "I can promise you that."

"How do you know?" she was quick to ask.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought back to my own experiences, so different, yet so similar to hers. I debated in my head for a long time in the dead silence, letting the seconds turn into minutes if I really wanted to do this. I had never dared to show anyone the things I kept only to myself, ashamed of what others might think if they caught a glimpse of them. It made me feel vulnerable, weak, and that was something that I hated, but I needed to show her that someone here understood what she was going through.

So with a heavy breath, I hesitantly lifted my shirt sleeves to reveal my deeper scars on my wrists, trying to ignore the twist in my stomach as the cold air hit my arms. Her eyes followed my movements, immediately seeing them and I watched her eyes get wider with each passing second.

"I know." I assured after the agonizing silence.

She shook her head in disbelief, "You-"

"Yeah." I interrupted her, almost like I didn't want to hear her say it.

"It was uh... at a really hard time in my life. I won't bore you with the details but someone in my life was making me feel worthless. He told me that so much I started to believe it myself, and I got really depressed. Eventually I thought that... doing this was my only option so I... tried. But I regretted it as soon as I saw the blood, kind of like you did. So I called for help and I... saved my own life that night."

She stared at me so intently, listening carefully to every word that came out of my mouth. I knew I could trust her to not say anything to anyone, just as she knew I wouldn't judge her for trying to do what she did. It was like a silent agreement that we had at that moment.

"Look, my point is I don't know exactly how you feel and I never will. But we were in the same boat you and me, we're fighters and I know you'll make it through this. You just proved that today when you stopped yourself." I said.

Her eyes refilled with tears as she looked at me with utter sadness, "I didn't realize...I'm so sorry Rose."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, not wanting her to see me cry as I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry too." I whispered before bringing her into a hug.

She clung onto me tightly as the new fresh tears fell down her face, sobs erupting from her lungs. All the emotions mixed with the exhaustion was truly taking a toll on her body, but I was prepared to hold her for as long as she needed. Just like I wished someone had held me.

Once her cries quieted down after a few minutes, I spoke quietly to her, "I am always going to be here for you, okay? You're never alone in this. Never." I assured as I held her tighter.

"Okay." she whispered, hiccups building in the back of her throat.

Although I couldn't see her face as she spoke, I knew now that she believed me, and knew that I wasn't going anywhere. Hell, I would be at her beck and call always if that meant saving her life. I somehow knew then that everything would be okay, maybe not at first but it would be. Beth was strong and I could see that so clearly, even if she couldn't see it yet herself, she was going to be okay.

After I knew for sure she was okay for the night, her assuring me multiple times, I said my goodbyes and walked out to send Hershel back in the room to talk to her. Nothing could've probably prepared him for the things that man had to do today, but I just couldn't get over the look on his face. It was like he had seen a ghost when he first burst into the room, and it was devastating.

After I walked out of her bedroom, I found him just sitting a few feet away outside, telling him he was good to head in, but before I could walk away he caught my arm to stop me.

"Thank you for...comforting her at a time like this. I just... I don't know what to say to her once I go in there. But just know I appreciate you Rose, thank you so much." he said with visible tears in his eyes.

I took his hand off my arm, squeezing it tightly, "Just be there for her, okay? Let her do the talking first. And it's no problem, I care about all of you so much."

He nodded and then suddenly did something I didn't expect, he hugged me. I sighed to myself before I was soon hugging him back for a few moments before letting him go after a few short seconds so he could talk to Beth. After watching him go, shutting the door behind him to leave only a crack, I made a beeline down the stairs and out of the house. I practically jogged all the way back to the tent, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I desperately tried to keep myself together. But the moment I zipped up the entrance, finding myself completely alone, I let it all out.

Seeing Beth like that was too much for me, but I wouldn't dare let her know that. She needed me and I was going to be there for her, however it just brought back painful memories from my past that I so desperately tried to avoid. I just sat there and cried quietly as I hugged my arms around my middle from the slight chill in the night. Rethinking everything that had happened today, I couldn't help but wonder how it could've been different if I had just stayed inside that damn house. How I could've prevented something from happening if I had tracked down Maggie myself. Maybe things could've been different.

But suddenly the zipper of the tent was being opened quickly, and Daryl was making his way inside as he finally returned from his hunt. I quickly looked away from him while frantically wiping my eyes, knowing he hadn't heard me crying, not even noticing I was in here at all at first from how silent I had been.

"Oh, hey." he greeted once his eyes raised from his boots, "I was bout to look for-" he then stopped himself noticing immediately the state that I was in, "Rose? Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, coming to kneel in front of me.

I tried to pull myself together, "Nothing, I'm okay." I said as I looked to the side, basically anywhere but his face.

I couldn't look at him, I just knew I would break down if I did. I could already feel the new tears building up in my eyes as I felt him gently take my hand in his and rub the back of it lightly with his thumb.

"Talk to me." he said in a soft voice.

I didn't say anything. I didn't even know where to start, today had just been painfully long and all I wanted was to go to sleep so it would be finally over. It seemed like we couldn't catch a break. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I saw out of the corner of my eye Daryl's eyes were staring down at my wrist as he still held my hand in his. I froze with widened eyes and suddenly didn't know what to do, I couldn't move.

"Rose." he said softly while looking at the scar, moving to take my opposite hand to see the other. But I quickly pulled both hands away from his grasp so he couldn't get a better look.

"Damn it." I cursed silently as I pulled my sleeves back down harshly, wiping my eyes with them as I tried desperately not to look him in the eye. I didn't know what I wanted, for him to leave or stay, when all I could feel now was just utter embarrassment.

He made no sudden movements for what felt like years, until I felt his finger and thumb gripping my chin gently to lift my head to look at him. His thumb rubbed softly on my chin as I finally brought myself to look into his blue eyes.

"Talk to me." he repeated.

That's when the sudden floodgate broke loose, my tears only falling more freely than they did before. I couldn't stop them, there was just so many emotions I was feeling about everything, and I couldn't get all of it out before he came back, so now he was witnessing it firsthand. I felt mortified about crying so much lately, it seemed like all I was able to do, like it was all I was good for these days.

His hands then moved to my cheeks when it began to be too much, his thumbs gently wiping my fresh tears away. He leaned in close to place a soft kiss on my forehead, waiting patiently for me to start talking whenever I was ready. And I did.

I told him what happened with Beth and how she tried to end her life. I ranted about how I should've been there sooner and not just sitting in the tent all damn day, but I didn't know. I should've known, the feeling I had alone was a good enough reason to stay close, but I truly didn't know. Regrettably I also when on to explain my situation as well, seeing as I couldn't really avoid it because of what he barely saw through the darkness.

I told him almost every bit of the conversation I had with her, though it made me the most uncomfortable, I didn't want her to believe she was alone in this. Informing him also that seeing her like that brought back too many memories for me and that's why I had been crying in the first place...and then we sat there. There was just silence. He didn't try to talk one time. He just listened.

After seeing that I was done, not having anything else to say, he finally broke the silence, "Yer one of the greatest people to walk on this earth, ya know that?" he asked.

I was slightly taken aback at what he said, a scoff leaving my lips as I shook my head, "Believe me I'm far from that." I responded, no longer looking at him.

"Look at me." he said softly.

I slowly tore my eyes away from my hands and met his again, almost burning under his gaze. I almost couldn't believe how much I was cowering away from someone I truly trusted, but then again this conversation was one that I didn't want to be having with anyone.

"What ya did for Beth, bein there for her, that's the best thing you can do for her. And showin her she isn't alone through all this, it's amazin what ya did for her today...now about you..." he trailed off, looking back down at my hands sitting in my lap.

He then gently grabbed both of them and slowly rolled both of my sleeves all the way up to the middle of my arm. I tensed when he did this and he noticed, but yet he didn't stop. He raised my left wrist up to his lips, and began to leave soft kisses over every inch of the scar. Then moved to my right wrist and did the same exact thing, leaving goosebumps on my skin, but a warmth in my heart.

He held both of my hands tightly once he was done, looking back up at me as he spoke again, "Yer so strong, and ya never have to be ashamed of these. They're just marks on yer body to show that ya made it, even when things were really hard. I get yer ashamed of showin em, but you don't have to be. Not with me." he finished.

I stared at the man in front of me in awe. Nobody had ever spoken so beautifully about me like this before. Nobody had ever complimented the thing that I was the most insecure about. No one had ever kissed the places I had once hurt so badly. Nobody except him.

Tears built up back in my eyes, but this time for a completely different reason. I was quick to take my hands out of his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to bring him into a hug as I felt I could finally breathe.

I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief come from him as he quickly wrapped his arms around me as well. Maybe he was worried about what he had said upset me, but it did quite the opposite. It made me relieved. Relieved that someone cared enough for me to not only see the good side of me but also the bad.

But with the way he spoke, and the way he was hugging me back so tightly, it almost made me question if he knew the feeling as well. The feeling of being ashamed or insecure because of something marking you from your past. And maybe he did. But I wasn't going to ask. I would wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell me, like he did for me just moments ago.

~ Thanks for reading!

[samptlay]

A Few Pastries To Love ❤

A/N: The reader is a baker and owns a bakery, the first made on the Xianzhou Luofu. Anyway sorry for the wait and posting about Blade before this(not actually sorry but still) Remember, this is one where I’m taking advice on how to do better for future work. 

And I don't actually know if the Luofu has pastries or not so..?

Fem! reader x Jing Yuan, I might work on some gender-neutral in the future. Enjoy~❤❤

I SPENT ALL DAY ON THIS.

Word Count: 3.5k~

He didn’t know how he got here. 

Honestly, it made no sense to him, why he was here on one of his rare days off. It made no sense to him why he was pacing back and forth in a secluded area on the Xianzhou Luofu with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands, candles, and rose petals all around him. It made no sense to him why he was constantly checking his phone for the time you were supposed to arrive while he was in formal wear.

It made zero sense to him, really. The way he wanted to be the new reason you’d want to get off from work early, the way he wanted to have the privilege of lying his head in your lap while you stroked his hair after a stressful day full of paperwork, the way he yearned to wake up in the morning with you by his side, curled up against his chest in such a way it made his heart swell.

Alright, maybe he understood.

Perhaps it was how you tripped over air the first time he met you. Word around said that there was a new shop on the ship called a “bakery”, run by someone who wasn't originally from the Luofu. Of course, Jing Yuan was curious (as always) about you (male or female, he didn't care) and your work, but he didn't have time to ponder on such silly things. Delicious sweets? There's already a candy shop on the Luofu, so what's new?

However, it wasn't until about two weeks after the opening, that one day a cloud knight who just finished his lunch break came in with a box that had your shop’s name on it in cursive. The Seat of Divine Foresight smelt of absolute sweetness and he didn’t realize how much of a sweet tooth he had until he saw the pastry the knight pulled out. It was like a very small, miniature cake that even had a strawberry on top, and he had never seen something more alluring in his life.

He knew he couldn’t go at least three days straight without thinking about it every other minute, so why not go get some for himself during his 30-minute lunch break? He went when he knew it wouldn’t be busy so that he could get his treat immediately. After all, he’s the general so why would he have to wait for anything?

He’ll never forget the way he walked into the empty bakery while you walked out from the kitchen and you were humming to yourself, a foreign tune to him while carrying a tray of what people said were “cupcakes” with sprinkles and fruit on top of some unknown white cream. Either way, it made his mouth water.

Though he found it amusing yet disappointing when you noticed him standing there, in all his glory with a soft smile. Your eyes widened and your mouth fell agape before your movements stuttered and one foot tripped the other, and you went crashing down, the deserts with you.

He couldn’t help but let out a few chuckles as your cheeks flushed in embarrassment and you quickly stood up and dusted off your apron for anything that looked unprofessional, ignoring the mess on the floor.

“General Jing Yuan! It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please ignore my... clumsiness, I was simply surprised to be in your presence.”

You sheepishly smiled, one that made his grin grow even more as he took a deep breath and inhaled the aroma around him, which also had him moving a tad closer to the contour, the source of the smell, you. There was a sweetness he couldn’t grasp, one that he also wanted more of.

“Oh please, no need for formalities. As of now, I’m just a customer who’s been hearing all about your great doings and wanted to see them myself. Though I believe that my appearance may have startled you, I apologize. Shall I repay you with assistance to the mess?”

You glance at your delicious disaster on the floor and sigh with sad, furrowed eyebrows before crossing your arms and shaking your head, your gaze falling back on the man in front of you.

“You didn’t do anything at all, general. I couldn’t ask you to help with something of my fault. Though I’m disappointed that food has been wasted. I would have offered you two full boxes of these, on the house.”

Free of charge? Usually, people were desperately trying to sell anything at all to him to get his money, considering he held the highest position on the Xianzhou, so this was a bit of a refreshing change.

He’d take good advantage of this opportunity and maybe ask for discounts in the future. But before he could insist on helping out, a small smirk made its way onto your face as if you had an idea.

"You know, there's something else I could have you do instead that would be beneficial for the both of us. Give me a moment."

With that, you fled to the kitchen, coming back thirty seconds later with cleaning supplies as you erased everything from the floor like it was never there, to begin with. He stood there silently, observing your every move, every expression, every breath.

He was just bored, in all honesty. But he found it cute how your hair was held back in a messy bun, and your earrings were what looked like flowers, yet he'd never seen them before. Then you went back to the kitchen with the supplies, coming back a few seconds later with an... apron?

Walking out from behind the counter, you held it out to him like you would offer an apple to a dear friend. His eyes widened in bewilderment and his mouth was agape, yep you seemed unaffected by his reaction. No one had ever dared to offer something as casual as this to him, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. He was still wearing the same expression as you spoke, too.

"Would you like to learn how to bake with me?"

~~~

And that was the start of something he wouldn't trade for the world. She temporarily closed up the shop and with the remaining 20 minutes he had left of his break, he took up her offer and they beelined to the kitchen where she taught him about new utensils he knew were foreign and how to use them.

But at first, she let him try to use them without knowing their purposes and teased the crap out of him when he used a rolling pin to beat down the dough for cookies. He teased you two, placing flour on your nose as you two shared giggles.

By the time you two finished, the cupcakes were now in two boxes with your signature on them in front of him. He tried it for the first time and was struck. Lovestruck, perhaps. He had never eaten something so moist and soft, fluffy and creaming that made his taste buds throb in a way he didn't know how to explain.

He knew he had to try the other options as well, but he was smitten with the way you were able to create this. He wasn't sure if the food was the only thing he was lovestruck with that day.

He found himself back there every day he could after that. Not only to learn how to make heaven fit into something that could be consumed but to learn more about you. Maybe it was your scent? He knew he wouldn't find it anywhere else and sometimes it almost got him high, almost like from the pure sugar cane itself. He learned lots about you and you learned lots about him.

Within some long, six dragging years, he knew what planet you were originally from, why you came to the ship, why you loved baking, why you opened the shop, what your favorite genre was, what your favorite season was(he had to learn what those were but whatever), what type of music you preferred,  and most of all, what your favorite flowers are. (and more, of course. But the flowers are the romantic part.)

They were on your home planet, which was a great distance from the Luofu so it was almost impossible to get. He loved the way your eyes sparkled whenever you spoke of their beauty, how they swayed with the wind, and how the colors touched the soul and were easy on the eyes. He craved to see your eyes light up that way because of him, someday. And maybe when that happens, he'll be ready to tell you how much you got him wrapped around your fingers.

~~~

It was a challenge, though. Especially when you were there for him when he least expected it. Due to some unknown reasons, Jing Yuan caught the flu, and despite his protests, the Master Diviner made him take off, telling him things along the lines of: “It’s going to get worse”, “Does your arrogance really want to allow you to get others sick as well?” 

He couldn't argue with that so he went home dragging his feet with a headache, while it pained the general to do so, he sent you a text saying he couldn't make it today and not to miss him “too much” with a winking emoji. Smug as always, he chuckled to himself before turning off his phone and stumbling into the shower. He was feeling terrible and lonely. Poor Jing Yuan had to isolate himself from Mimi too, not wanting to get his beloved pet sick.

He cleaned himself up before changing into something casual(it took him a while to dig through his closet for something that was actually comfortable. He took medicine and collapsed onto his bed, getting comfortable enough in his soft, fluffy king-sized bed. It would probably be big enough for both you and him too, you know... Cuddle, of course. He was extremely touch-starved.

He then realized that he did indeed have no company, Yanqing was off with his duties and you were most likely busy with customers. He deeply admired you for running that whole place by yourself, and it had quickly become well-known all over the Xianzhou Luofu and one of the most popular places to eat Yet you still claimed you were running a “small” business to anyone who asked. He held you so high in his mind you had no idea…

However, it wasn't until he woke up two hours later to loud yet light pounding on his door. He reluctantly got out of bed with a raised eyebrow, wondering which bastard had the nerve to disturb his peaceful dreams of you, so you could tell the surprise was evident on his face when he swung the door open to find the woman of those dreams standing right in front of him, with a basket in hand.

You didn’t share any pleasantries before (gently) shoving your way inside and striding to his kitchen. You informed him that you closed up shop early today, just to take care of him. Him?

Jing Yuan felt flattered beyond all belief and offered to help as you cooked him a warm, delicious-smelling meal, but you instead scolded him about his hygiene and how he should avoid more stress, then you took him to the bedroom and tucked him into bed with a cool wet cloth placed on his forehead. (He was sure it was unnecessary but how could he ever find any fault in this?)

Jing Yuan dared to still find a way to tease you during all this so of course you struck back harder. You went as far as getting his cheeks as red as fresh blood. The romantic tension in the air was high, you both were aware of it but for some reason never caved.

Perhaps it was because of your insecurities, or the way he was afraid you’d leave him eventually for being “too busy”, or maybe you both were scared of the unknown.

One of his fantasies came true that day, and it was something he would hold on to for the rest of his life. Though to be honest, the general things you would look even better doing all these things for him with a ring on your finger…

But he didn't expect the opportunity to be given to him so soon. 

Sadly, because of the Stellaron situation, he wasn't able to visit you for a while and that was different from his usual daily routine so, of course, it threw him off a bit, and he was a bit more agitated throughout those days. He yearned to see you and have some sugar poured into his mouth, but he knew that it was only a matter of time, this would all be over soon.

When it finally did end the Astral Express asked him if there was anything else they could do for him before they left. He was about to decline before you came to his mind. Jing Yuan knew he wouldn’t be leaving this planet anytime soon, and as the Nameless are travelers, couldn’t they take a trip to your home planet and receive the flowers you so desperately wished for? He was sure if he did that, you’d allow him to court you immediately with no hesitation and he would finally fulfill his dream of tying the knot with you.

It was almost a whole month after his request when Welt, Dan Heng, March, Himeko & the Trailblazer came back with a big, beautiful bouquet that was just as lively as you had always described it. They were busy with other matters before finally finding a reason to head towards the direction of your homeland, hence getting them.

He was over the moon and the crew could tell, though they didn’t know why… (The general was already considering putting each of them in the wedding party, even Pom-Pom.)

“Jing Yuan?”

You called out, looking even more breathtaking than usual in that medium-length dress that made you shine, not too much but just more than enough to make his breath hitch. He saw the way your body physically froze as your eyes lit up and widened while looking at the arrangement in his hand. He took this opportunity to draw closer bit by bit, and as the distance grew shorter, his heart beat faster.

He took your hand in his free one, drawing your gaze to land back on his eyes. You were trembling and he swore he could see your eyes well up with tears that he was positive were joyous.

“...Thank you.”

Your smile made it all worth it. The way you tilted your head and let go of his hand, only to place it on his cheek instead caused him to melt into the touch. He sighed contently and closed his eyes for a few moments, enjoying your time together.

It was tempting, the way he longed to stay like this forever. But then the ring he bought that was sitting in his back pocket would be for nothing. So he slightly moved his head to the side, kissing your palm tenderly while his eyes fluttered open. Your cheeks flushed, and his smug look grew as he took that as the green light.

“You know… I’d pay with my life to see you smile like this every day. However, I want to be the reason for it. Always. Not no one else, never. It might sound selfish, but I can’t help it when you’re just as sweet as your pastries. When you’re the only reason I enjoy being in the kitchen because I’m reminded of you when there.”

The way you were surprised by his words and melted under them had him wanting to crash his lips into yours already but patience was the key. The way you were smiling more with each syllable almost made his knees crave. But they would soon after he’d take you back to his home so that you could finally have your long-awaited time together.

He brought one of your hands to his lips and kissed each one of your fingertips before finally getting down on one knee while placing the bouquet on the floor, reaching into his back pocket, and pulling out a small, black box. He took into account the way your breath hitched as your eyes started watering again. He knew he did this at the right time.

“Would you be mine for the rest of our lives, and would you accept me as yours? Would you give me the honor of calling you my wife, and would you take me as your dear husband?”

You immediately nodded with tears rolling down your face, leaping onto him almost screaming, “YES! God please, yes…” Sobbing, your arms wrapped around his neck as his snaked around your waist and he whispered a little “yes!” and buried his face into your hair, happy to finally be able to take in your scent completely.

He eventually stood you both up to slip the ring onto your finger, just for him to lift you up in the air and spin you around, laughing and crying at the same time while chanting: “This is my beautiful spouse, I get to call you mine, my wife.”

He took one singular flower from the arrangement, carefully tucking it within your head before leaning down to you, eyes on your lips. You met him halfway and you both shared that long-awaited, passionate yet loving kiss. It was even greater than he had originally imagined. No, it paled in comparison to this.

You can only imagine how eager he was to take you back to his chambers and finally show you how much you had gotten into his head these past years. How much he wanted your touch, craved it. How much he wanted to show you how he loved you.

He made you wear his oversized clothes and you both got comfortable in his bed, cuddling, kissing, and talking about your goals(you already knew each other but the future had now changed a bit), what you adored about each other, and the possibilities of kids..?

You said soon, later into the marriage, which was more than okay with him, he wanted time with you all to himself first. (Side note: He’s counting down the 5-year mark till he’ll bring it up again)

~~~

He held you tight that night, not ever planning to let go as you washed all the worries away, all the heaviness of his workload. He would cherish you and make sure you know you’re a priority to him. He spoiled you with anything he could think of, every day for three weeks straight.

It eventually died down a bit but you were getting something at least three times a week. He had you move into his home as well, of course, a mutual decision even though he almost got on his knees to beg you to say yes.

After two months of engagement, the wedding day finally arrived. Surprisingly, it was small and intimate, not big, lavish or unnecessary. Though he made sure everything looked amazing, also having more of your favorite flowers scattered around the venue. He wanted to cry all over again as he saw you walking down the aisle, to him, even the Aeon of beauty looked like a joke standing next to you. His sun, his soul, his world.

(Don’t tell Argenti)

With a well-earned and deserved honeymoon of three weeks, you two went to visit your family with the help of the Astral Express, and you showed Jing Yuan all the beauty of this planet, the place where you grew up. He was almost always holding your hand at all times while stroking it with his thumb and kissed your hand at random times, causing you to giggle.

Coming back, he made sure you never felt neglected, even with all his duties. It helped him that you also had your life busy with your business, but you always closed up shop to get home and cook for the two of you, and to have enough energy to pamper the general as much as he wants. (You spoil him too much, as well as Mimi. She seems to like you more than the general himself.)

Arguments rarely occur. If there’s a disagreement of any sort, you listen to each other and take time to understand what the other is thinking. If you do get upset at him though, Jing Yuan will pout and sulk like a kicked puppy and beg, and whine for your forgiveness. It won’t be until he knocks on your shared bedroom and walks in with a desert you taught him long ago that you assumed he forgot about. You can’t help but give into his sorry eyes and pepper kisses all over his face.

You couldn’t ask for a better partner and never in your life would you wish to even do something as trivial as imagine one. He’s all you need in life and you're fine with how everything is as of now. You wouldn’t trade it for the world, and neither would he.

You’re the love of his life, and he is yours too.

THIS TOOK TOO LONG BUT I'M SATISFIED WITH THE RESULTS ALRIGHT? NOW I'D LIKE GENTLE CRITICISM 🌚 (pls, of course.) 💋

BLADE PART TWO IS NEXT.

[heyovivi]

Gwyn and Azriel and Prejudice

Hello, back again with some possible theories and this time it's about one of my favorite Valkyries, Miss Gwyneth Berdara and some more controversial subjects such as the prejudice that surrounds her and other characters.

Now I'm sorry I haven't been posting a lot--though I'm sure not people even notice seeing how we have a large community of readers who also come up with some amazing theories! But I needed to slow down on posting my wild theories and imaginations because I felt that some of my readers who read my fan fiction were starting to catch onto the plot of "A Court of Shadows and Scars"--but I've been waiting to post about this one because I think it's important and because I've already addressed it in my story.

Moving on.

Gwyneth Berdara.

Although she was very much a newly-introduced secondary character to Nesta's story she is oh-so important and beloved by our reading community. Gwyn has stolen the hearts of many with her wit, charm, and inquisitive personality--and not just readers but her fellow characters as well.

All except a very few including Merrill and the main antagonist of ACOSF, Queen Briallyn--though there are many others I could mention, such as the Illyrians, but my main focus will revolve around Merrill and Briallyn and their prejudices against Gwyn along with other characters with their own prejudices such as Beron and even our own brooding shadowsinger, Azriel.

Yes, Azriel.

Now we know the story of Gwyn and we also a know a bit of her past as well.

Gwyn's grandmother was once a river nymph who seduced a High Fae male hailing from the Autumn Court and fell pregnant with Gwyn's mother who was sent to be raised at the temple of Sangravah because she couldn't dwell in the rivers of Spring Court and was too wild to be confined in the Forest House of Autumn Court.

"My mother was unwanted by either of their (Gwyn's grandmother and grandfather) people. She could not dwell in the rivers of the Spring Court, but was too untamed to endure the confinement of the forest house of Autumn. So she was give in her childhood to the temple at Sangravah, where she was raised..." (Gwyn Berdara, A Court of Silver Flames, pg. 316)

Now what we know about nymphs is extremely limited in the ACOTAR world. But in Greek mythology--from which they hail from--nymphs were idolized as guardians of nature. They were revered as the spirits of specific natural features and were often identified with parts of nature such as the Oreads (mountain nymphs) and the Hamadryads (tree nymphs).

The name "nymph" comes from the Greek word that means "young woman", and so naturally these beings were considered to be female. Indeed, they were represented as young, beautiful, musical, amorous, and gentle youthful creatures. And while there is some question about whether they were immortal or not - Hamadryads in particular were linked with the lives of their chosen trees - it is believed that they were extremely long lived.

A beautiful, ever-young creature that inhabits the lovliest of all wilderness places including clear lakes, streams, and crystalline caverns. They do not like any form of intrusion but there is a 100% that a nymph will be friendly if approached by another good creature. Nymphs are exceptionally intelligent and are very rarely found.

Gwyn's lineage of nymph, according to Greek mythology, would be categorized as a Naiad, the nymphs of streams, rivers, and lakes. The Naiads, or water nymphs, dwelt beside running water. Like their cousins, the Nereids and Oceanids of the oceans, the Oreads of the hills and the Dryads of the forests and trees, they were usually sweet, benign spirits. Naiads, especially, were helpful and healing, nurturing fruits, flowers and mortals. Yet the youth Hylas who went to draw water from a pool was lured by the nymphs into the water and was never seen again--meaning that despite being creatures of nature they also possessed darker roles in certain legends.

I interpret this as Nymphs being hostile around creatures who were unwelcome in their lands for being ill-intentioned.

Many times in Greek mythology, nymphs were often seen as the symbolism of beauty and love; such as Aphrodite--and because they were always describe to be beautiful and graceful women with soft, sweet appearances they often drew the attention of the Gods creating legends of romantic affairs and infidelity.

Their very beauty caused the Gods to lust after them to a ravenous extent, making the Nymphs sometimes turn to the Goddesses for help. However, not all Goddesses were kind towards the nymphs--such as Aphrodite or Hera who grew jealous of their beauty when their very beauty and natural loveliness challenged the fidelity of their lovers.

In this case, let's assume that role of Gods, of higher beings, were the High Fae in the ACOTAR realm.

In the ACOTAR realm, it's easy to assume the nymphs are somewhat--if not--wholly the same as they are described in classic literature. When Gwyn tells the story of her grandmother she states that her grandmother seduced a High Fae, resulting in the birth of her mother. If this is the case then I think I can understand why characters such as Merrill and Briallyn look down on her lineage so much because again, Nymphs, in the eyes of major Goddesses such as Aphrodite and Hera, were essentially home wreckers (even though many confrontations with Gods and Nymphs were not always consensual).

With the reputation of being male-thirsty seductresses, nymphs are looked down upon as lower-beings, that and their lack of immortality (more often then not Nymphs linked their lifelines to an object in nature: a tree nymphs links their life to a tree, water nymph links their life to a stream (but I suppose that makes them immortal?)).

With this devious reputation placed on her lineage, Gwyn is often the butt of insults with being call half-breed and all by the likes of Briallyn and Merrill.

"But you made it easy for me: you went right to her house in Windhaven. Spared me the trouble of luring you. I let those witless Illyrians take her and the half-breed as an amusing bonus." (Queen Briallyn, A Court of Silver Flames, pg. 721)

"I am descended from Rabath, Lord of the Western Wind...Unlike Gwyneth Berdara, I am not lackey to be dismissed." (Merrill, A Court of Silver Flames, pg. 315)

Merrill glanced between her and Gwyn before saying, "get back to your work, nymph." (Merrill, A Court of Silver Flames, pg. 315)

Okay--so Merrill doesn't specifically call her a half-breed, but dismissing her as a lower race and simply calling her "nymph" is basically comparable to an insult.

Now, that we've got Gwyn out of the way, let's move onto Autumn Court, more specifically Beron.

Beron is an ass--plain and simple. He is the personification of a conservative abuser and is honestly one of the most disgusting characters I have ever had the displeasure of reading. However--I suppose the problems he brings do push certain character formulas forward such as Eris and Lucien. Such as executing Jesminda for simply being involved with Lucien and for being anything but High Fae.

"Lucien fell in love with a faerie whom his father considers to be grossly inappropriate for someone of his bloodline. Lucien said he didn't care that wasn't one of the High Fae, that he was certain the mating bond would snap into place soon and that he was going to marry her and leave his father's court to his scheming brothers...His father had her put down. Executed, in front of Lucien, as his two eldest brothers held him and made him watch." (Tamlin, A Court of Thorns and Roses, pg. 160)

I don't think I need to go ahead and explain Beron and his prejudices against those who are not High Fae--his actions speak enough as is. But what I do want to do is go back to the specific wording Gwyn uses when explaining how her mother ended up in Sangravah, she says: "She could not dwell in the rivers of the Spring Court, but was too untamed to endure the confinement of the forest house of Autumn."

Confinement.

Not dwell. Not live. Not prosper. Confinement.

Now, we haven't navigated Autumn for all it's beauty and culture. We've only seen the Autumn Court through the eyes of Feyre when she is traversing through the courts in ACOWAR.

But I wonder how he approached with dealing with those who are not High Fae? What if the Autumn Court is much like the Summer Court where the court works around a system of class where High Fae are put at the top and anything but is put at the bottom? Therefore assuming that the treatment of such beings is cruel and unjust, creating a defining line between the races in which they can never reach equilibrium.

If that is so that brings me to the idea that many courts outside the jurisdiction of Night Court have assumed systems such as this, making there a limited amount of options for people like Gwyn's mother to prosper peacefully. Because we already know that the main reason why the first war with Hybern happened was because Hybern demanded to keep human and low fae as slaves, placing High Fae at the top. Spring sided with Hybern, because remember Amarantha and the former High Lord of Spring were close friends, Summer Court most likely fought to keep slaves as they still continuously oppress lesser fae, so I imagine it was worse for humans. And let's be honest, Autumn remained "indifferent" but one look at their current High Lord tells me that they weren't that indifferent--not unless Beron wasn't the ruling High Lord at the time.

So with that in mind, Gwyn and her family couldn't flee to Summer, nor Spring or Autumn. Night was probably never an option--as their reputation of being dark and gloomy more than likely frightened the idea away. Winter Court was obvious seeing how it's a winter wonderland of frozen lakes, streams, and rivers. Then there is Day Court which based on their current High Lord and aesthetic, is a desert land of sand and heat--with little to no water supply for any Nymph.

However there is one court that still remains. Dawn Court. From what we know they are a more than neutral court among the courts of Prythian and mostly value innovation. Geographically, Dawn is a lush, eternal countryside rich with the weight of summer upon it. The towns were red-roofed villages with sparkling rivers--a perfect destination for any relocating half-nymph- half-High Fae born child. However we also have to take into account the time period of when Gwyn's mother was born. Remember, prior to ACOTAR, Prythian was under the rule of Amarantha for fifty years--and even if that wasn't the case Summer was under the rule of a High Lord who didn't harbor the same compassion to change the unequal class system like Tarquin did when he assumed his place on the throne. Autumn was being ruled by Beron by that time already who'd probably have her confined. And Spring was under the traditional rule of Tamlin--and despite that Gwyn's mother would've still be considered as unwelcomed by the other nymphs.

If you take the time and current dilemma of Prythian--then there was really no where to go but Sangravah--putting into question the prejudices certain courts have against beings that are of the Low Fae variety.

I predict that despite being beautiful, charming, and compassionate, Gwyn still faces so much prejudice for simply being 1/4th nymph--which to the High Fae is a stain in her lineage to be a descendant from such a deviant being.

Now, let's move onto Azriel.

Azriel, as we all know, has his own conflicts with the Illyrians. Of course, that is to be expected, especially after learning of his backstory with being abused by his family and then later forced into training with the Illyrian army. The only comfort he had ever received was from the likes of his chosen family and so I believe he is projecting his own, personal experience of being an Illyrian into his hatred of Illyria--seeing the Illyrians as no more than a means to end due to their constant reluctance to move on with the times.

Don't get me wrong, I love Azriel. But I think a big part of his character is accepting who he is. He is an Illyrian--and I believe that with the combine power of him, Cassian, and Rhys they can bring the kind of change that Cassian had only ever dreamed of to Illyria. Yet, his own prejudices against his people hold him back and that's probably because he hasn't fully faced his trauma and instead skitters back at the mention or thought of it. I think if Az was healed he wouldn't be so reluctant to visit Illyria or wish for it's demise.

"A rare visit from the shadowsinger. Both myth and terror. Az looked just as displeased to be here, but he'd come when I asked...It was healthy, perhaps. For Az to sometimes remember where he'd come from. He still wore the Illyrian leathers. Had not tried to get the tattoos removed. Some part of him was Illyrian still. Always would be. Even if he wished to forget." (Rhysand, A Court of Frost and Starlight, pg. 222)

"Cassian rolled his eyes. But they both knew Azriel would sooner disband and destroy Illyria than help it. Convincing their brother than the Illyrians were a people worth saving was still a battle amongst the three of them." (Cassian, A Court of Silver Flames, pg. 42)

Now, moving onto the conclusion, finally. If Gwynriel's story was to happen, I think there is a sufficient amount of evidence to claim that Azriel's plot would revolve around the Illyrian conflict.

I'm just going to drop down this link: https://yazthebookish.tumblr.com/post/648449405425516544/the-illyrian-conflict-being-set-up-in-acosf-along

@yazthebookish highlights textual evidence that hints at a possible story arc for an Illyrian plot line because yes, there is still so much to uncover in Illyria and although I believe a large part of that was suppose to be Cassian and Nesta's story I also understand why it could go to Azriel.

Azriel needs to learn to accept his race, and the Illyrians need to learn how to accept change. I think they can learn something from one another and I believe Gwyn will play a role in Azriel's adventure. Do I think she's going to be the face some enlightenment in Azriel's journey--no. That's stupid. And if you twist my words, read it again. I believe because of Gwyn's past with prejudice against her and what she is, she can level with Az and understand him in a way that can potentially help him develop better as a character. Yes, she might be there for guidance or to give Azriel counsel, but in the end I think it's Az's job to tackle down the Illyrian conflict while Gwyn, with the help of Azriel, tackles down her own, whether that be discovering her lineage or where she came from or even healing from her trauma as a SA victim.

Please be respectful and leave your thoughts in the comments.

[rightnowyoucanttell]

Malibu, Next To You

Title: Malibu, Next To You 

Summary: Is it supposed to this hot all summer long? Or is it just him? A very fluffy date with some minor molehills between Veronica and Grayson on a Malibu beach. Just because the sun is down, the night is still young, and so are they. But which way does it go...

Warnings: Fluff, implied smut (I don’t write smut, sorry guys), talks of anxiety 

A/N: When this idea came to mind, i say that because i have a roughly planned full series timeline in my head it started with just the first part as a blurb but then I was like hey let's make a series, it was originally to be a reader insert (Y/N, Y/L/N, ect.) but i always have problems doing that as they feel too weird to write so I came up with Veronica and added it to the plot/timeline whatever you'd call it. so you can do that or appreciate it for the beauty it is with Veronica and Grayson. 

Tags: @dzoint ​ @graysavant @blindedbythelightt ​ @tadadolan @heartofalionxo ​ @beatement-l ​  @grayswhore ​@saggitariusagirl @tattoogray @onlyangels-world @dxlxnbby

Part one 

Series Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know..” Ronnie drifted as she walked kicking the sand beneath her feet forward in a rhythmic pattern,” I’ve never enjoyed going to the beach..” Veronica glanced up from the sand and over to Grayson who gazed down to the ground before making eye contact.

The smell of saltwater brushed their noses, seagulls cawed in the distance as the water crashed closer and closer and then pulled itself back out. The pair, Ronnie and Gray watched the sunset as they walked barefoot as the tide came in and set back out, like both of their hearts, coming to a calm stop and then flooding back in a rampage of fluttering butterflies, beating in there chest.

He explained the currents and she just gawked in a secretive manner, so he didn’t notice, the dumbfounded look his body gave her. 

    “Really? You don’t say, I mean I figured that much, for someone who has a fear of seagulls and drowning…” he pondered the thought as his feet stopped the wallow in the incoming tide that was just far enough from Ronnie who was in the dry portion of sand.

She giggled shaking her head continuing down the shore all while facing Grayson,”..are you saying you’re not enjoying yourself?” he shouted over the crashing waves that he ran from to catch up to her. 

“You remembered…,” Ronnie’s heart fluttered. Grayson knew about her anxiety.  Ronnie explained to Grayson that night in Starbucks, her fears, in return for him doing the same.  There was a semi prolix list. Seagulls, birds, circus clowns, large crowds, heights, and significantly Drowning.

She shook herself from the bliss and continued, “but, no. No no, no.. of course not. You brought me here!” she exclaimed twirling with open arms, the wind catching her grey wool shawl that covered her white strapless sundress with bright red roses.

Her damp dark brown hair caught in the breeze flew gently, her eyelids covered her vibrant green eyes. Grayson’s eyes followed Veronica in awe as she twirled in the sand and breeze all the way as she ran back to him and nearly ran into him. 

   The two laughed and turned around to walk back to the there picnic blanket, both inaudible deciding it was time to eat,” Your something else, you know that?” he offered up to the conversation. His hand brushed against gently against Ronnie’s. 

   Ronnie just smiled letting silence sit between then,”..Something good I hope…” the entirety of the walk back to the picnic blanket and the food was silence, blissful and incentive for Grayson, but nervous and nerve wracking for Veronica. She hastily wondered if she had said the wrong thing, or turned him off or away and that’s why he hadn’t said anything, but she tried telling herself it was just the anxiety and the nerves this Italian boy from New Jersey stirred up. 

  Veronica Chandler likely always would be anxiety-ridden. After all, Fears my life, Ronnie had the words tattooed on and wrapping around her wrist. The black ink still had water droplets from when she had been swimming and wading in the water with Grayson. Veronica left the fishing on her stepfather’s, Darren,  boat to him and her older brother Noah, even all the while, an excelling science student, she never got how they were floating.  

    However, if tonight, if Grayson asked her, Ronnie probably would step foot on a boat.  She never willing went to the beach, even though living in Miami with private beach access growing up at her home, and certainly did not stand by the ocean. But on this evening, Grayson brought her there, and she was happy that he did.

So here they were. 

  The sunset warmed Veronica the pinks and blues entangling themselves, like the hopes of how Veronica undeniably wanted to be entangled with Grayson later that night. Something in Grayson hoped it too.

On a picnic blankets, following a stroll along with the tide on the now rather deserted from the public eye, on a beach in Malibu. Munching on what Ronnie’s mom would call “Rabbit Food”. 

  “This is one of the best wraps I’ve ever tasted,” Ronnie added as she quietly finished chewing her toes in the sand below and surrounding the blanket. 

"Its from.." Grayson paused to chew," this stand in downtown LA, Marty's I think, they're delicious." They made eye contact, Ronnie smiled with her eyes, covering her mouth as she was chewing.

"We should go together sometime,"Ronnie offered nervously.

 "Defiently...,"Grayson brushed his hands above the wrap on a clear piece of plastic wrap beefy ass salad chickpea wrap sat on, in between final swallows of his bites of food he started, "so... care to explain why you ignored me for a week, 'ronica?"

   That's when the evening went south.

What Grayson didn't know, that the week Veronica avoided him..one week desperate Gray was left with no sign she was alive, no text, calls, and no DM’S except the confirmation seen from the first night. 

 That week the week she ignored him, the week he was referring too, Veronica,  was in Miami visiting her mother. Veronica had deep-rooted feelings for Grayson.. but, again, like a record used, the last had left a few scratches, and overtime... they scarred.

But it was nothing, Gianna, Mama Chandler couldn't fix...

   Ronnie sighed heavily,"Why does everyone I love settle for someone so low of them?" She pondered the thought in silence as she finished her rant of the night she met Grayson.

 “..well, he sounds like a keeper..and handsome....,” her mother drifted. Ronnie wasn’t paying attention fondling with the small strands that belonged to the blue and white polka-dotted beach towel her mother and herself were tanning on. Within seconds her attention was grabbed by an incoming frisbee, that landed...perfectly in one of the white polka dots. Ronnies eyes widened when she caught its sight, she gazed curiously and then picked it up examine it, before tossing it to the wind aimlessly,”-Veronica! You could have hit someone!” Gianna gently smacked the four-arm of her daughter’s right hand with the back of her hand. 

    “Mom!? What the fuck? Did you not see that it landed in the circle, that’s not a coincidence...that’s a fucking conspiracy. Like how a cartoon predicted 9/11 and then moon landing was faked...," Ronnie slumped back so her back rested against the beach chair set up behind her. 

"It was an accidental coincidence..dear," her mother licked the tip of her finger pulling the pages apart. Her sun hat covers her sunglasses covered eyes, and held her brown hair in place around her shoulders, she was paler than Ronnie, she and noah got there skin from her absentee father, he was the Brazilian in her jeans.

"Yeah well, accidents don't just happen, accidentally, mother," Veronica huffed and crossed her arms leaning back farther and closing her eyes, enjoying momental peace before the woman started up again.

"When you head back to Los Angeles, you better text that boy, I'll be damned if you pass up a chance with someone like that. He's a good one that Grayson, I can tell. You cant let your life wither away to nothing and give up on love because of one bad drinker and a beater bad apple.. theres good people out there.. you just gotta look in front of you."

The memory on the beach faded, she hadn't realized she had been gazing into Grayson's hazel eyes the entire time the flashback played out in her head like a scene from a movie,"do you, uh. Really want to know? Is it fundamentally necessary.." she drifted off leaving a tenacious gap of silence. Just the wind and the waves to be heard.

Grayson scoffed a chuckle,"..well, no, but, I'd like to know."

Ronnie thought for a few moments, if she didnt tell him, he'd be suspicious, if she told him he might doubt the feelings she had if they were legitament,"I was in Miami. With my mom, i needed advice. A break. I was worried you were..a player. And now I know, I know that your not. Your kind, cute, hot, sexyyy, and-"Veronica's ramble was cut off by Graysons hands wrapping and cupping her head into his hands and pressing his lips to hers.

Internal fire works went off, if it were a movie they would be exploding over the water between there heads just visable to camera shot. Both hearts beat against there respective rib cages, not knowingly they both had been wating for this moment the entirety of the night.

Ronnie's hand came to touch Grays chest shortly before she came up to breath in the salty air,"that.." she panted,"was hot. But, I dont know.. if this'll work. I'm lonely and broken.. and can barely take care of myself, just, Grayson-"

"I like that your broken, and lonely" he grasped her face one hand still behind her head his thumb caressing her cheek,"not like in a kinky sort of way," they both laughed for a few seconds, Ronnie looked down. He placed his pointer fingern underneath her chin, tilting it up,"I could be lonely with you.."

"My place or yours?" She smirked. Hoping that night of entanglement would happen after all.

"Mine, definetly mine." He breathed there chins pressed together.

Ronnie had never run faster than she didn that night, all the way back to the porsche.

[babygirlkiki1016]

Tough Love

After what happened to Sammy's girlfriend we decided to pay our respects to her. I could hear the birds chirping as Sam, who is wearing a suit and tie, holds a bouquet of various flowers excluding roses. Me and Dean watched from afar as he walks through an otherwise deserted cemetery. From what I could see Sam sighs and stops next to a gravestone. It reads "Jessica Lee Moore, Beloved Daughter, January 24th 1984 - November 2nd 2005."

"How did she die?" I ask Dean, after a few minutes of silence.

"....She died in a fire."

"I know that...but what caused it?"

"A demon...the same one that killed our mother."

".....I'm sorry....." Dean glances over at me and puts an arm around my shoulder.

"You have nothing to be sorry about....besides, we'll get the son of a bitch." I give him a small smile, then focus back on Sam. I spot a small picture of Jessica grinning that's set into the stone above her name, then a black-and-white picture of her leaning against the stone between a white teddy bear and a wooden box with a crucifix leaning on the picture. Sam looks between the gravestone and the flowers. "I, uh..." I heard Sam laugh. "You always said roses were, were lame, so I brought you, uh..." Sam looks at the picture set into the gravestone, then looks away, choking back tears. He steps closer to the gravestone. "Jess...oh God..." Sam kneels to set down the flowers. "I should have protected you. I should have told you the truth."

I look over at Dean who is just staring at him. Pain was shown across his features, I could tell Dean did not wanna watch this. After Sam put flowers on his girlfriends grave, we went back on the road again. I was sitting in the back while the boys were in the front. Sam was asleep, at least until he jerked awake and sighs as he hears "Hot-Blooded" is playing. Sam rubs his eyes and Dean looks over, concerned.

"You okay?" I questioned, Sam glances back and then away.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Nightmare?" Dean chimes in, Sam clears his throat, signaling he doesn't wanna talk about it.

"You wanna drive for a while?" Sam laughs.

"Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that." I grin and lean forward.

"Hold on, so you've never driven the impala?"

"No, but it's ok. I'll be able to drive it one day." Dean glances over at Sam.

"Yea, still gonna kill you for that little stunt Sammy, letting her drive baby into a house. But uh....I just thought you might want to....Never mind."

"Look, guys, you're worried about me." Sam replies "I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay."

"Mm-hm." Dean agrees knowing Sams not okay, Sam grabs a map.

"All right, where are we?"

"We are just outside of Grand Junction I believe." I say. Sam folds down the map, which is of Colorado and has a large red X labeled 35-111.

"You know what? Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon." Sam admits.

"Sam, we dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica-"

"We gotta find Dad first." Sam interrupted Dean.

"Not to be nosy but...you still didn't tell me how she died?" I ask.

"Y/n now's not the time." Dean says while looking at me through the mirror.

"....Jess, my girlfriend died stuck to the ceiling with a stab wound in her stomach while being burned.....She was killed by the demon that killed my mother."

"How can a monster be capable of something like that?"

"I don't know, but our mother's death was the whole reason dad started training us."

"Yea..which your dad kinda helped ours with the whole 'how to kill monsters' thing." Dean smiled. "If it wasn't for Y/D/N, Dad would've probably been dead by now." Sam nods in agreement.

"So..with your dad disappearing and this thing showing up again after so many years, it's no coincidence. That's for sure." I pointed out.

"Dad will have answers. He'll know what to do."

"It's weird, these coordinates he left us. This Blackwater Ridge." Sam replies.

"What about it?" Dean asked.

"There's nothing there. It's just woods." Sam puts down the map. "Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?"

"Sam it's not the place, it's the monster. Just like in Jericho there could be a monster we have to fight, right Dean?" However Dean stays silent and just keeps driving. For the next few hours no one says anything. I decided since it was quiet that I could get some shut eye and after a few minutes I fell asleep with my cheek planted against the window.

~

When I wake up, the Impala comes to a stop and is parked next to a sign that says "RANGER STATION Lost Creek Trail, Lost Creek National Forest". I follow the boys out of the car, still tired. Sam smiles at me "How did you sleep?" He asks.

"Fine, I guess."

"I think you slept more than the both of us combined." Dean jokes.

"Well see if someone would let me drive-."

"Nope never again!" Sam laughs at our little feud and we keep walking.

"So Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote." Sam says as he looks at a 3D map of the national forest, paying particular attention to the ridge labeled "BLACKWATER RIDGE" as Dean looks at the decorations. "It's cut off by these canyons here, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place."

"Dude, check out the size of this freaking bear." Dean fantasizes, me and Sam look over. Dean is looking at a framed photo of a man standing behind a much larger bear. Me and Sam go to stand next to Dean.

"Eh I've seen bigger bears." I say.

"There's no way." Dean says.

"My dad used to take me hunting, it was part of my training." I laugh. "I took down my first grizzly when I was nine."

"Well there's a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It's no nature hike, that's for sure, at least we have an expert with us." Sam says, I just roll my eyes. A forest ranger, walks up to us when he speaks, the three of us whip around.

"Y'all aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?" The ranger wonders.

"Oh, no, sir, we're environmental study majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper." Sam laughs a little. Dean grins and raises a fist.

"Recycle, man." Sam's eyes flick to Dean, who doesn't move.

"You're friends with that Haley girl, right?" The ranger asks, Dean considers.

"Yes. Yes, we are, Ranger-" Dean checks the ranger's nametag. "-Wilkinson."

"Well I will tell you exactly what we told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn't be back from Blackwater until the twenty-fourth, so it's not exactly a missing persons now, is it?" Dean shakes his head. "You tell that girl to quit worrying, I'm sure her brother's just fine.".

"We will. Well that Haley girl's quite a pistol, huh?"

"That is putting it mildly."

"Actually you know what would help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit. You know, so she could see her brother's return date." Dean suggests and Wilkinson eyes Dean as Dean raises his eyebrows. After we get the permit we leave the ranger station. Dean is holding a piece of paper and laughing.

"What, are you cruising for a hookup or something?" Sam jokes.

"What do you mean?"

"The coordinates point to Blackwater Ridge, so what are we waiting for? Let's just go find Dad. I mean, why even talk to this girl?" The boys stop on opposite sides of the Impala.

"Maybe we should know what we're walking into before we actually walk into it?" I suggest.

"Pretty smart." Dean agrees.

"Since when are you all shoot first ask questions later, anyway?" Sam wonders.

"Since now." I laugh as me and Sam get in the car

"Really?" I hear Dean say and he gets in as well.

"Could you guys drop me off at the metro store? I need a new phone." I ask.

"No need." Dean smirks at me, and goes through the glove box. Then he leans back and hands me a small flip phone. "There, so you can call us if you get in trouble."

"Thanks..." I take it from him but sigh in sadness, I miss my dad, I thought.

"What is it?" Sam worries.

"I just miss my dad...I mean I left him a letter telling him I was ok but..."

"Hey, cheer up, you'll get to see him soon. Besides everyday we get closer to dad, you'll see him before you know it." Dean smiles and begins to drive away.

Deans Pov-

After we got to the motel, I asked Y/n if she wanted her own room, she just shrugged and said she didn't care. So I originally planned on getting her own room but in all honesty...I don't want her to die like Jessica. So we got a two bed room, she'd have to sleep with one of us. I put my duffel bag on my bed and sigh, Sam does the same. Y/n was outside calling her dad, letting him know she was ok but she had a time limit so he wouldn't track us.

"We'll isn't this place homey." I comment.

"Yeah...so what do you think of Y/n?" Sam asks.

"I've gotta be honest..She's not suited for this."

"C'mon she isn't that bad."

"Are you kidding? Sure she's smart, and pretty, and helpful..." I smiled to myself, lately I've been having weird feelings around her. "She's...badass."

"Dean, kinda getting off topic."

"Right uh, sorry. Anyways, she's never done this before, I don't think she's ready for this."

"Her dad trained her for this, just like our dad trained us. She maybe haven't done this before but she's been a lot of help. When we were facing Constance, if it wasn't for her I would have probably died."

"She's reckless, she drove baby through the side of a house."

"It was the only way to stop her! I probably would've done the same thing."

"What about the dent that suddenly appeared while we were at the bridge?"

"That was Constance-"

"No, if it was Constance then Y/n would have gotten hit. That....That was something entirely different, and besides that she didn't even talk to us for an entire three hours."

"She was scared-"

"We don't have time to be scared!"

"Dean that was her first hunt, look she did pretty well in the end."

"Yeah well...."

"Well what?"

"We have to take her home...."

"Dean come on."

"No!" I stand up and point a finger at him. "You were the one who was angry at me for bringing her into this. Now that I want to take her out your upset?"

"...I-I...Why don't we let her stay a while longer?"

"Why?"

"Dean she was gonna learn about this sooner or later, might as well be now. And if she wasn't here we would still be stuck in Jericho. How bout this, if she gets hurt or acts immature we'll take her home but for now she stays." I stayed silent, thinking about my next move. Should I really let her stay? What if she gets hurt or even worse...dies. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the door open and close, quickly I put a smile on my face and turned to Y/n. Although she wasn't smiling, she was....heartbroken.

"Y-Y/n?" I called out, and with those sad E/C eyes, she looks at me.

"....I'm no longer welcome home."

Y/n's Pov-

*10 minutes earlier*

This was it, the moment I would call my dad after almost a week. Slowly I pressed in the numbers and the phone began to ring as I put it up to my ear.

"Hello?" A gruff voice said, it was dad, my dad. He seemed sad, and instantly I was filled with regret.

"Hey dad...."

"Y/n!? Where are you?!"

"I'm safe dad....it's ok."

"No it's not ok, me and your mother have been worried sick! If I find you with Dean-"

"Dad please I'm just help-"

"No don't give me that bullshit, you are just being rebellious because I was strict on you."

"No I'm doing this because you wouldn't help Dean find John!"

"I only said no because I don't trust Winchesters! And neither should you! They only care about themselves, not anyone else. Everyone they know dies around them!"

"I haven't died-"

"Which is a miracle, but it's only a matter of time. You better come home this instance or I'm sending out a missing person's add. And when they find you with a twenty-six year old man-"

"Your bluffing, even if you did that they would escape."

"Your not safe Y/n-"

"I never was! No one is every safe in this world! Besides you were training me for hunting my entire life so what's the big deal?!"

"Your only seventeen that's the big deal!"

"Well I'm not going home unless they make me."

"They? Who-Please don't tell me John is there!"

"No it's not John, it's Sam."

"Sam? You mean Sam from Stanford? That's even worse! Y/n you have to get out of there! Something...Something is wrong with that boy!"

"There is nothing wrong with him or Dean, I'm staying here whether you like it or not."

"Then you better stay gone cause I'm tired of a disobedient brat like you! If you don't come home right now I-I'll disown you!" Those words, we're like knives, they went straight into my heart. Tears ran down my cheeks as I realized....I would never be able to go home...

".....Wow.." I say after a minute, "...you say you don't trust the Winchester's, more specifically John....but your just like him." And with that I hung up, what else was there to say? If dad wasn't gonna support me helping someone in need then...there's no point of going home. I have to finish what I started, silently I entered the motel room. I could feel the boy's staring at me.

"Y-Y/n?.." Dean called out, slowly I meet his gaze and say "....I'm no longer welcome home."

~

"What do you mean no longer welcome home?" Sam questioned, for the last ten minutes I had been crying my heart out in Dean's chest. I told him how the conversation played out, and by the end both of them were furious.

"I knew Y/D/N had a little anger issues, but to go that far?....That's just low." Dean said.

"Don't worry Y/n...you'll always have a home with us." Sam soothed, making me smile.

"Thanks guys....for the record, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change my decision."

"Well I'm glad." Dean smiled and kissed me on the forehead, making me instantly blush. "Cause I wouldn't want you to change it either." No one said anything after that, we just continued with our mission. Later after we got settled in our motel, we drive to the girls house. We stand at the door and it opens to reveal Haley Collins.

"You must be Haley Collins. I'm Dean, this is Sam and Y/n, we're, ah, we're rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over. He wanted us to ask a few questions about your brother Tommy." Haley hesitates.

"Lemme see some ID." She says. Sam pulls out his fake ID with the name 'Samuel Cole' and held it up against the screen. Haley looks at it, then at me and Dean, then opens the door.

"Come on in."

"Thanks." The door swings open as Haley catches sight of the Impala.

"That yours?" She asks.

"Yeah." Dean says proudly, Sam looks back at the Impala.

"Nice car." Haley leads us into the kitchen, where a boy is sitting at the table on a laptop. Dean turns his head to mouth something to Sam, who rolls his eyes. We show her the permit but she just scoffs and leaves the kitchen.

"So if Tommy's not due back for a while, how do you know something's wrong?" Sam asks. Haley comes back into the room with a bowl she places on the table. "He checks in every day by cell. He emails, photos, stupid little videos-we haven't heard anything in over three days now." She answers.

"Well, maybe he can't get cell reception."

"He's got a satellite phone, too."

"Could it be he's just having fun and forgot to check in? Maybe it dropped in the lake or something." I say.

"He wouldn't do that." The boy at the table says, I eye him, but he looks away. Haley comes back putting more food on the table and says. "Our parents are gone. It's just my two brothers and me. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other."

"Can I see the pictures he sent you?" Sam asks.

"Yeah." On the laptop, she pulls up pictures.

"That's Tommy." She clicks twice and another picture comes up, then the still frame opening the latest video.

"Hey Haley, day six, we're still out near Blackwater Ridge. We're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, okay? Talk to you tomorrow." I spot something on the video however, it was like a shadow.

"Well, we'll find your brother. We're heading out to Blackwater Ridge first thing." Dean smiles.

"Then maybe I'll see you there. Look, I can't sit around here anymore. So I hired a guy. I'm heading out in the morning, and I'm gonna find Tommy myself." Hayley confessed.

"I think I know how you feel."

"Hey, do you mind forwarding these to me?" Sammy asks.

"Sure." We smile and leave, departing from them.

~

After the meeting with Haley, we decided to go to the bar, after I got a fake ID. Now I was Y/n Dixon, a twenty-five year old female. The three of us were sitting down at a table.

"So, Blackwater Ridge doesn't get a lot of traffic. Local campers, mostly. But still, this past April, two hikers went missing out there. They were never found." I mention as I was using Sam's laptop, he told me I'd probably get better luck if I'd try to find information. Sam was opening John's journal, searching it for clues.

"Any before that?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, in 1982, eight different people all vanished in the same year. Authorities said it was a grizzly attack. And again in 1959 and again before that in 1936. So every twenty-three years, this thing comes out. Okay so since Haley sent Sam the video, watch this." I put the laptop where both of the boys can see go through three frames of the video one at a time. A dark shadow, like the one I saw earlier crosses the screen.

"Do it again." Dean says. I repeat the frames.

"That's three frames, a fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move."

Dean hits Sam.

"Told you something weird was going on."

"Yeah you were right." Sam smiles.

"The only thing that I know that can move that fast is a werewolf." I state.

"That's what I thought to." Sam says. "However I got one more thing." Sam hands over a newspaper article. "In 'fifty-nine one camper survived this supposed grizzly attack. Just a kid. Barely crawled out of the woods alive." I nod and the hand it to Dean who looks at newspaper.

"Is there a name? Uh...Oh here, Mr. Shaw." Dean reads.

"So then we go talk to him now, right?' I ask.

"That should be the plan." Sammy says.

"Ok what's up with your hair?" Dean asks.

"What?.."

"It was just H/C now it's yellow, is it like some kind of special hair dye?" I grab a lock of my hair, and he was right, it was bright yellow.

"No I haven't dyed my hair since I was fifteen."

"Ok something is definitely going on with you. First dad mentions you, then you somehow put a dent in my car without touching it and now your hair is yellow." The moment he said that my hair changed to purple.

"See there it goes again!"

"I...I don't know." My heart starts beating faster by the second, what's happening to me me?

"Dean I think you scaring her. Maybe we should call Y/D/N.." Sam suggests but Dean shakes his head.

"No screw that guy, look we'll figure it out. For now try to...keep it one color."

"You think I have control over this?"

"Maybe it's connected to your emotions?" Sam says grabbing his laptop and starts typing.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Keeping notes. Maybe if we keep track of what's happening to you then we can figure out what's going on. So purple is fear, then that would mean yellow is joy and when your hair is H/C it means you are experiencing no emotions."

"Well, other than this magical weird...stuff. What now?"

"To the store, we need to get you a business suit, then to Mr. Shaw." Dean says.

"A business suit? What for?" I wonder, but Dean only smirks.

~

Finding the perfect suit was hard, it wasn't until I walked out of the dressing room for the 5th time. This time both of the boys smiled, and Dean looked away blushing a bit. It was like a coat that went halfway down my thigh, however you could see my cleavage a little bit.

"How bout this one?" I ask.

"Y-Yea yea, that's good. Nice and formal." Dean stutters.

"Good, now I guess we buy this and then we can be on our way."

After we bought the suit, we went to go see Mr. Shaw. He talks to the three of us while leading us inside his house. He has a cigarette in his mouth, I coughed a little from the smoke.

"Look, ranger, I don't know why you're asking me about this. It's public record. I was a kid. My parents got mauled by a-" Sam interrupts.

"Grizzly? That's what attacked them?" Shaw takes a puff of his cigarette, takes it out, and nods.

"The other people that went missing that year, those bear attacks too?" The room went quiet. "What about all the people that went missing this year? Same thing? If we knew what we were dealing with, we might be able to stop it." Dean says.

"I seriously doubt that. Anyways, I don't see what difference it would make." Mr. Shaw sits down with a sad look on his face. "You wouldn't believe me. Nobody ever did...."

"Try me."

"I said no and that's final." He huffed, I knew he wasn't gonna tell us. I hesitantly sit down across from him.

"Mr. Shaw, what did you see?...I know you think we won't believe you but your our last resort. If you help us, I promise you we will get revenge for your parents." He looks at me like I was lyin, but sighs in defeat.

"Nothing. It moved too fast to see. It hid too well. I heard it, though. A roar. Like...no man or animal I ever heard."

"It came at night?" Shaw nods. "Got inside your tent?"

"It got inside our cabin. I was sleeping in front of the fireplace when it came in. It didn't smash a window or break the door. It unlocked it. Do you know of a bear that could do something like that? I didn't even wake up till I heard my parents screaming."

"It killed them?"

"Dragged them off into the night." He shakes his head. "Why it left me alive...been asking myself that ever since." Shaw's hands go to his collar. "Did leave me this, though." He opens his collar to reveal three long scars. Claw marks. Sam and Dean look at them. "There's something evil in those woods. It was some sort of a demon."

~

The three of us walk the length of a corridor with rooms on either side. "Spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. If they want inside, they just go through the walls." Dean says.

"So it's probably something else, something corporeal." I state.

"Corporeal? Excuse me, professor."

"So what do you think?" Sam chimes in.

"The claws, the speed that it moves...could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog"

"No it looked more human...what about a Wendigo? I don't know. I can do some research when we get to where ever were goin next." I offered.

"Where were goin next is our motel." Dean says. We drove back to motel, and I get out of the car as Dean opens the trunk of the Impala, then the weapons box, and props it open with a shotgun. He puts some guns in a duffel bag as Sam leans in.

"We cannot let that Haley girl go out there."

"Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?"

"Yeah." Dean looks at Sam.

"I may not know much about monsters Sam but that is probably the most stupidest idea." I intervene. "Besides her brother's missing, Sam. She's not gonna just sit this out."

"Then we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator friend." Dean says picking up the duffel.

"Finding Dad's not enough?" Sam slams the weapons box shut, then the trunk. "Now we gotta babysit too?" Dean stares at Sam in annoyance.

"What?"

"Nothing." He throws the duffel bag at Sam and walks off. I follow in pursuit, when I walk through the door Dean looks at me and Sam who is behind me.

"So Y/n, you have to sleep with one of us tonight since there's only two beds."

"She can sleep with me." Sam offered.

"Well I mean it's up to her."

"I don't care, you two do rock, paper, scissors shoe whoever wins gets the bed to themselves."

"Alright seems fair enough." Dean says and holds out his hand in the formation. Sam rolls his eyes and throws the duffel bag onto one of the bed then gets into formation.

"Ok one, two, three!" I count down and both of them go, Dean chose rock while Sam chose paper. Dean smiles but quickly hides it and enters the bathroom.

"Is it just me or is he happy that he lost?" I ask making Sam shake his head.

"That's a first, though if he tries anything let me know. I'll let you sleep with me."

"Eh if he tries anything I'll break his hand." Sam chuckles.

"That's our girl."

~

Later that night all three of us was in bed. I couldn't sleep though, I still kept hearing my dad's words over and over. "I'll disown you", how could he say something like that to me? Tears began to form, I cover my mouth trying to keep quiet but Dean heard me.

"Y/n?" He quietly calls out. "You ok?"

"Y-Yeah...."

"Is this about your dad?...." Slowly I nod and Dean pulls me closer.

"It's gonna be ok, ok? He didn't mean it, he probably just said that so you'd come home....if you ever wanna...don't hesitate."

"But you said once I'm in this-"

"And I was wrong, your just a kid, you don't deserve this life...." I could hear the sadness in his voice, I look up at him. Those big green eyes stare down at me, making me smile.

"Neither do you...."

"...It'll be ok, I promise." He gently puts a hand on my cheek and caresses it with his thumb. I felt that urge, I wanted to kiss him, it was the perfect moment. It was like a moment in a movie where everyone is waiting for that kiss, waiting for the love to blossom. I slowly lean in, while staring into those beautiful forest green eyes. He doesn't move, which makes me nervous and my hair turns purple.

"Why are you scared?" He asked. "Was it something I said?"

"No I just....No it wasn't you....well I guess I'll let you sleep. Goodnight Dean." Quickly I move so I'm facing away from him, my cheeks are burning. Did I really just try to kiss Dean?

The New Hunter Masterlist

@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99

[bts-fantasy]

@beautifuloperanickelturkey requested:

DNA, Anpanman, Crystal Snow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Notes

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Trigger warning!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You smiled as you watched the yellow envelope fall to the ground as soon as you opened your locker. Without losing another second you picked it up looking at the familiar handwriting.

 

To Y/N

 

You would be lying if you said you weren’t waiting for this letter the whole week. Closing your eyes you inhaled the sweet odor of roses rising up to your nose and a warm feeling spread in your chest that made you a giggling mess. Cautiously you looked up and down the hallway checking if anyone had caught you. There weren‘t many students around at this time of the morning. You always came way earlier to school knowing there won't be much going on and you could hide behind your books until the bell rang without being noticed.

 

Your fingers slid along the envelope tearing it open as you eagerly unfolded the content eyes fixed on the black ink.

 

I can see your sad eyes even though you try to hide it behind a smile

I can hear your soul crying out for help even though you say that you're fine

Just know that there's someone out there dying to know how your day went

There's someone out there wanting to hold you when you're broken

Someone who wants to be by your side during good and bad times...

 

...and that someone is me.

 

Your heart was racing as you held onto the paper your eyes moving across the few lines over and over again. A feeling of being looked after came over you, something you hadn‘t felt in a long time and it knocked the breath out of you. You stood there frozen in your spot with teary eyes until the words turned into a blurry mess in front of you. You put the piece of paper back into the envelope closing it carefully before putting it on the top shelf where you kept all the other letters from the mysterious writer.

The letters started appearing in your locker a few weeks ago and you still had no clue who it was. They were encouraging and motivational that kept you going even though you wanted to be left alone.

You didn‘t have any friends at school, only a few acquaintances so you couldn‘t tell who would do something so thoughtful and sweet for you every week. At times you felt alone you'd look at the letters and immediately feel at peace because someone out there cared for you.

 

Closing the locker you took a deep breath before you mentally prepared yourself for another monotonous day.

 

You were sitting in class right before lunch break taking notes of what was taught. Your mind slowly drifting off due to your tired and hungry state as you wrote everything down without really paying attention to it. However, that quickly changed when you heard the word "group project". Suddenly you sat straight in your seat looking at your teacher in front of you with a list in her hands. The project had to be done in pairs and you weren't allowed to choose your partner. You started shifting uncomfortably in your seat watching everyone else eagerly wait for the teacher to read off their names. You looked at the familiar yet strange faces around you feeling as lost as ever as you listened to various names being called out followed by cheers or disappointed shouts.

 

"Y/N and... Hoseok!", your teacher looked up at you with a reassuring smile as you turned around. Hoseok was staring at you with the brightest smile you'd ever seen as he held his two thumbs up excitedly. You forced a smile before turning around quickly again. The feeling of being under extreme pressure filled your chest again as you hoped for this all to be just a nightmare and that you'd wake up soon in your bed. But you weren't dreaming and you had no way out of this either.

 

"Hey, Y/N. Wait!", you heard Hoseok's voice calling after you when you tried to walk away after the lesson. Slowly you turned around in the middle of the hallway facing your partner who was still smiling as bright as the sun. You didn't know much about Hoseok but that was because you never had the courage to talk to him. He'd tried many times to break the ice around you but you had avoided it successfully every time... until now.

You knew you had no other choice than to spend time with him and you couldn't help but think that it would go completely wrong.

 

Looking down at your feet you adjusted your backpack on your shoulders waiting for him to catch up to you. Once he was standing in front of you could hear him slightly panting.

"So... uh... I thought we could eat lunch together", he paused as your head snapped back up and you stared at him with wide eyes.

"To go through some stuff for our project of course!" He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as a slight tint of red covered his cheeks. You nodded agreeing to his plan since you couldn't bring out a single word.

A few minutes later Hoseok was sitting across from you munching on his tuna sandwich the scene reminding you of a chipmunk. Hoseok didn't force you to keep the conversation going and you were extremely thankful for it. You would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the comfortable silence surrounding you both.

But when he didn't mention your work even after finishing your food you just had to open your mouth.

"Uhm... about the project...", you began slowly, your voice merely a whisper as you kept your eyes low. Without another word, he slid a piece of paper across the table where a phone number was written down. You looked up in surprise watching his lips turn up into a warm smile.

"Just text me whenever you feel like it, Y/N."

With a short nod, he stood up and left the table leaving you with a surprisingly warm feeling inside of your chest. For the first time, you felt light after talking to someone. The familiar pressure was replaced by a safe feeling as you stared down at the paper lying in front of you.

 

Days went by and you and Hoseok talked to each other almost all the time. You were eager to find out more about the only person who actually felt like a friend to you. He pushed all your fears away with his words of encouragement and you were thankful for the way it helped every time. You were making progress with your project but you as a person were slowly changing as well. Hoseok had the same impact on you as the anonymous letters that still appeared in your locker every week.

 

Do not worry love

None of this is coincidence

We are completely different baby

Because they found two fates

 

You smiled down at the note as you felt the warm feeling creep into your heart once again. But this time you felt something else as well as you stared at the lines.

Butterflies.

Closing the door to your locker you took a deep breath to start your day. Today was going to be good you told yourself.

Hoseok was waiting in the library for you so you could work on your project. It was the first time you both actually decided to meet up after school and you couldn't help but feel nervous. Sitting down on the seat across from him you tried to smile your brightest smile which ended up being an extremely awkward one. But Hoseok seemed to be more than satisfied with it his eyes shining like a clear night sky. He was already prepared with a notebook and pen waiting to take notes for your schoolwork. With a concentrated look, he took a hold of his pen and swiftly moved it across the notebook and you watched him with a fond look until your eyes fell on the paper.

The handwriting. His handwriting. It was exactly the same as your mysterious letters.

 

Your heart dropped as you stared at him as he was still concentrated on his work. Your throat was dry as a desert all of a sudden as you realized that the person you were looking for this whole time was sitting right in front of you.

Hoseok looked up at you once he was done writing raising an eyebrow at the look on your face.

"You... You wrote them...", you stammered clearly unable to form a full sentence as you watched his cheeks turn bright red.

He scratched the back of his head a habit of his whenever he was lost for words and needed time to think about what to say.

"Well, you turned down every attempt at talking to you so I thought I'd write them down. I'm sorry, this is awkward...", he chuckled nervously looking down at his hands avoiding your stare.

"No, don't apologize, please. You literally helped me break out of my shell and I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you!"

Hoseok finally dared to look up at you staring right into your eyes. You felt your heart skip a beat as you stared back into his sparkling eyes that spoke to you more than a thousand words.

His lips slowly turned up to a smile and you couldn't help how contagious it was as you felt your own smile spreading across your face.

"Oh, I know a way you could repay me." You raised your brow expectantly as you waited for him to continue.

Hoseok took a deep breath before reaching out to take your hands in his. His eyes were fixed on you as if there was nothing else around you and you felt like you were the only one in the library at that moment.

 

"Will you go out with me?"

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