#my hands were shaking so much she never apologized even tho i was right 100% and i gave out their ordered stuff

[zevrans]

.

[helliontherapscallion]

I'm sorry for adding on to your pile of requests but I just wanted some family fluff with sbi where all of the siblings are having fun on a road trip or vacation

I don't know if that's specific enough for you if you want a little more detail maybe they're just being really dumb and making stupid videos with each other because that's something my sister and I do a lot

(A/N): I hope you don’t mind that I added Kristin and Tubbo (BASED ON THE CHARACTERS, NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE). Real life AU btw (no covid tho)

Okokok so this is deadass something Philza and Kristin is both dreading and looking forward to

1. They love spending time with their family especially now since yall are getting older and don’t spend as much time together anymore/getting ready to fly the coop

2. Have you met the SBI fam? Chaos incarnated.

After packing, yall set out on your trip to the hotel yall rented for a week or so (about an eight hour drive away from the house)

You and your twin Tommy 100% smuggle Tubbo underneath all of the luggage and a blanket

You’ll just ask them for forgiveness when you’re about halfway through

It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission 

Wilbur and Technoblade catching you hiding the stowaway and blackmailing you both into doing their chores for a few week 

Seating: Phil and Kristin in the front, Tech and Wil in the middle, You and Tommy in the back, and Tubbo in the trunk (it’s a mom van)

Before getting too far into the trip, a gas station is raided for snacks and drinks

Philza raising a brow at the amount of food you and Tommy get 

Philza’s eyes were torn off from the refrigerator in front of him by his wife lightly nudging him. Looking at her in question, she raised her eyebrows and pointed at their youngest kids. It looked like they were just looking at the Monster drinks, so why- oh god the last thing he needed was two already hyper teenagers hopped up on Monster trapped in a car for eight hours. Before he could go over there to stop them, Kristin grabbed his arm. 

“They’re up to something. Listen to what they’re saying.”

He strained his ears to hear what you both are whispering to each other. “...e like this flavor?”

Tommy shrugged, “I dunno. I’ll text him.”

As Tommy texted someone, Phil looked back at his wife. She wore a similar wary expression as they both stared at each other. He nodded in confirmation, “definitely. How do you reckon we confront them?”

He watched as his wife thought for a moment before she sighed and looked at him with a hint of excitement in her eyes, “let’s wait to see. It might be a pleasant surprise.” 

“What? Are you mad?” He eyed his youngest gremlins once more. It seemed that they finally decided on a flavor and are now moving on to the snack portion. He looked back at his wife and felt his heart skip a beat at the small grin on her face. “...fine. Let’s just see what they’re doing after they do it.” Oh, the things he does for love.

He kept a very close eye on you two after that 

You both are on your phones for longer than usual

Texting Tubbo so that he wasn’t lonely 

Tubbo has fun with hiding too, never being bored at all

The only thing that he (and you and Tommy) struggled with was holding in his laughter

You jumped as you felt someone gently slap your shoulder. Turning around, you saw Tubbo’s hand peeking over the backs of the seats. You glanced at your parents in the front seats, they were deep in conversation. Good. You saw Tommy stifle a laugh and pull out his phone to record. 

Tubbo made grabby hands at something but you didn’t know what he wanted, so you decided to mess with him a bit. Smirking, you put your earbuds in his hand. It snaked back underneath the blanket before he threw it back at you and did more intense grabby hands. You put your metal water bottle in his hand. He did the same thing before he threw it back at you. It collided with your forehead with a loud bong sounding throughout the car. Tommy started to laugh loudly and ended the video. You followed suit in the laughter as Tubbo’s hand froze midair and quickly slinked back into his lair.

All noise in the car came to a halt as they all looked behind them (well, Phil glanced through the rearview mirror suspiciously) to see you and Tommy laughing your asses off with you holding your forehead. Through blurred vision, you could see Kristin looking at you with worry and Techno and Wilbur looking confused and mildly annoyed.

“(Y/n) honey are you alright? What happened?” You opened your mouth to respond, but only wheezes came out making you laugh harder. You could hear Tubbo silently cackling to himself in the back, the blanket shaking slightly. Without being able to speak, you only nodded your head and gave her a thumbs up. 

Tommy sent the video into the siblings' group chat and you could see over Wilbur’s shoulder as he watched it before starting to cackle and save the video to his phone. Even Techno got a good chuckle out and saved it to his phone making Phil and Kristin even more suspicious. Well, Kristin was just excited for what you two (four? Was Techno and Wilbur in on it as well?) had planned. Phil could just imagine the chaotic things you had planned. And he did not like what came to his mind.

When the rest stop came eventually (about three hours into the trip), you all left the car to stretch your legs and take care of business

Taking separate ways to walk in pairs (same person they sat next to in the car)

You and Tommy wait until Phil and Kristin leave before getting Tubbo out of the trunk

You three vibe walking along the winding sidewalks for a bit before you come back to the car and get Tubbo back into the trunk

You, however, forgot to use the bathroom so you leave Tommy and Tubbo in the car 

“Fuck, I forgot to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“Be quick, I’m not fuckin telling em if we forget you.”

“Pfft, they won’t forget me. Stop joking around.”

With that, you left the car and made a beeline to the bathroom. After that, you went back to the car. Well, where the car was supposed to be. There was no sight of a van anywhere in the parking lot. That asshole, he just let them drive off? He and Tubbo’s probably giggling to themselves in the backseat like school girls. You were only gone for like eight minutes. 

Sighing, you walked over to a nearby bench and sat down, pulling up Techno’s contact and calling him. 

He picked up after a few rings. The second you heard the dial tone stop, you spoke to him, “check the backseat.”

“What? You’re taking a nap, why’re you calling me I’m literally right in front of you.”

“Just fuckin check, Tech.”

In the background, you could hear Tommy snickering to himself. You heard some rustling before Techno started laughing, “Dad, we left (y/n) at the rest stop.”

“YEAH YA FUCKIN DID!” 

You could hear loud laughter from your brothers and muffled cursing from Phil. You heard Kristin tell Techno to hand her the phone. 

“We’re so sorry, we’re turning around right now. We’ll be there in about five minutes. Stay in one place and don’t talk to strangers.”

“I dunno Mom, that trucker looks really friendly. Might do some hitch hiking with him.”

You ended up befriending an old lady when she sat next to you on the bench with her husband. She even gave you some butterscotch and those strawberry hard candies that all older people somehow have but you can never find in stores. Her husband was telling you stories about his younger days when you saw the familiar van pull into the parking lot. Waving goodbye, you thanked them and hopped back into the car. 

After profuse apologizing from your family and scolding Tommy for tricking them, you were on the road again. You glared at Tommy with a small smile on your face, “you fuckin prick. Did you seriously make it look like I was sleeping under a blanket?”

“Yeah, I told you that I wouldn’t tell them if we forgot you.”

“You fuckin dick,” you grabbed a few butterscotches and strawberry candies and handed some to Tubbo after ensuring your parents weren’t looking. He took them gratefully and quickly. You heard him whisper a ‘thank you’ and opened them with plastic crinkling. 

“Wha- are those butterscotches? Gimme some.” He was about to snatch them out of your hands before you moved away from him. “No, you left me at the rest stop. You don’t get any. Do you guys want some? I’ve got butterscotches and strawberry candies.”

After you handed them out to your family, Phil looked at you confused in the rearview mirror, “(y/n), where’d you get these?”

“Oh, I just made some friends with an old couple while I was waiting.”

“You what? What if they kidnapped you?”

“Naw they couldn’t’ve. Ethel has hip problems and Charles was in a wheelchair. They were chill anyway.”

“...Just- just don’t do that again.” “Well don’t forget me again at a rest stop three hours away from home and you got yourself a deal.” 

After a while the family was chill again and everything was back to normal

It was getting closer and closer to when Tubbo would make his reveal

You three agreed that Tubbo would just wait for the perfect time 

That time came about three hours later when Phil and Kristin was asking everybody where they should stop for food

“So kids, we have three options: McDonalds, Wendy’s, and Arby’s. What do you want?”

“Wendy’s is obviously the superior choice.” Tommy proclaimed and you nodded in agreement. You leaned back and whispered to Tubbo, “now would be a great time.” You pulled out your phone to discreetly record the front seat. 

“No it isn’t. Arby’s is you heathens.” Wilbur chimed in, glancing at his twin for back up. Techno shrugged, “I’m fine with anything as long as it’s edible.”

“I’m more of a fan of Wendy’s myself!” Tubbo’s muffled voice chimed in from his makeshift hut in the trunk. You snickered as Kristin whipped her head around to look at the back seat and Phil’s eyes snapping up to look at you through the rearview mirror. 

“...Tubbo?”

“Hi Mrs. Tommy and (y/n)’s mum!” You flipped the camera around just in time to catch Tubbo poking his head out of the blanket and grin sheepishly at them. You panned over to Tommy’s ruby red face as he was holding in his laughter before flipping it back to the front. 

“You absolute gremlins, this is what you’ve been hiding?” Phil scolded you and Tommy, his knuckles whitening from gripping the steering wheel. You could see his shoulders bouncing slightly with a slight strain in his voice from holding in chuckles. 

“Honey, have you been in the trunk this entire time?” 

“Yeah, but it’s quite comfy back here! Tommy and (y/n) gave me pillows and some snacks. Got some stretching done at the rest stop.”

“You’ve been back there for six hours?” Phil’s incredulous voice asked. 

“Yep! Don’t worry, I had a lot of room. Anyways, my vote goes to Wendy’s.”

The car was quiet before Kristin started to laugh, “Wendy’s it is. See Phil, I told you it was gonna be a pleasant surprise!”

Tubbo sat between you and Tommy in the backseat for the rest of the trip 

Techno and Wilbur saying that they knew Tubbo was back there but left out the blackmail part

There was no way they’d risk losing their little siblings doing their chores for them for a few weeks

At the hotel, the rooming was the same as the seating in the car

You, Tommy, and Tubbo having the time of your lives alone in your hotel room

Jumping on the beds, checking for hidden cameras and double sided mirrors (well, that doesn’t sound fun, but you had fun doing it), truth or dare, racing each other down the halls at night time, the works

B L A N K E T  F O R T S (but always cleaning up the hotel room in the mornings bc yall are respectful to the staff)

Getting plenty of videos of you guys ding dong ditching Techno and Wilbur’s room

Them getting tired of it so they tell Dadza and Momza and they tell you to stop : (

Walking around aimlessly around the hotel hallways with Wilbur and Techno

Going up and down elevators aimlessly 

Pulling an all nighter with Tommy and Tubbo on the last day

Philosophical late night talks when yall hardly know what you’re saying anymore (and becoming closer than ever before)

“Tommy, Tubbo?” You three were currently sitting on the balcony chairs looking out at the empty parking lot and the occasional cars driving by. It was about three in the morning and you guys were determined to stay up all night. “If you think about it, a hotdog is puréed meat in an intestine casing. When we eat the hotdogs, we turn it back into puréed meat. It eventually goes through your intestines which makes you the hotdog for a solid couple of hours.”

“...What the fuck, (y/n).”

“No no, they’ve got a point. Don’t you understand, Tommy? We are hotdogs.”

“...I’m starting to think you guys need sleep. Speakin nonsense.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you two reckon we’re alone in the universe?”

“What do you mean, Tubbo?” You glanced at the male next to you and raised an eyebrow. He was looking up at the stars with furrowed brows. 

“Like, do you guys think there’s life out there. Looking down at us right now wondering the same thing.” 

You hummed and looked up at the stars. They were twinkling down at you with the occasional shooting star blazing by. Red lights from far off satellites being the only visible sign of humans in the dark expanse of space. “I think so. I mean, nobody knows how big the universe is. You never really know.”

“Honestly I don’t know what’s scarier, being the only lifeforms and being completely alone or having things out there that we don’t know about.” 

You sling an arm over your twin’s shoulders, “that doesn’t matter. As long as we have each other, we’ll never be alone. We’ll face whatever the universe has in store for us together.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know, I just hate it when people only see me as the loud annoying one. It really gets to me sometimes and I don’t know what I should do about it. Fuck, even Wil and Tech see me like that.”

“Toms, fuck them. They don’t know you like we do. You’re caring, ambitious, and brave.” 

“Yeah, don’t listen to what they say. We’ll prove them wrong when we form our own nation one day.”

Tommy’s sullen expression slowly melted into a smile, “yeah, I’d like that. You’d be the president.”

Tubbo grinned back at Tommy, “and you’ll be my trusty vice president and (y/n)’ll be our Secretary of State. We’ll rule together.”

“Our nation would be a place for people to escape tyranny and injustice. Somewhere where men could live free, you two would be amazing leaders.”

“What do we call it though is the question,” Tubbo hummed in thought.

“How about ‘Manberg’?”

You looked at your twin with half lidded, exhausted eyes, “I like it, but it needs more… pizazz. How about L’manberg?”

You watched as he smiled widely at the stars, “it’s perfect.”

Watching the sunrise together on the balcony wrapped in blankets

Sleeping on the rest of the way back home

Best sleep of your life

When you wake up (about an hour or so away from home), you see that there’s blankets over you three and you had your head on Tubbo’s shoulder, Tubbo had his leaned up against the seat behind him, and Tommy’s cheek was squished against the window

You stretch out your limbs a bit trying not to disturb the two beside you

Checking your phone to see pictures of you three sleeping sent into the family group chat with Kristin replying with a bunch of heart emojis

You send the videos and pictures you took along the way of you, Tommy, and Tubbo doing stupid things in the hotel room and in the car

If you looked in the middle row, you could see Wilbur watching the scenery pass by out the window with his earbuds in

Techno is reading one of his books (you have no idea how he doesn’t get car sick)

Phil and Kristin are talking lowly to each other holding hands on the center counsel 

Soft radio music is playing in the background

Life is good

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@crybabyjabby  @izzybobizzy13  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @bunnyz-pxstel  @averytiredfanfictionwriter  @dcml04  @sparkling-gayyyy  @bbigbbrainn  @thaticecreambish  @kiinokochii  @satansphatass  @bxkubitch  @bxmentchildxx  @roxy3457  @montygator17  @feverish-dove  @the-fictionwriters-hairdo  @jichuuchaeng  @404rynnotfound  @luluwinchester  @laura--444  @the-cult-classic-bitch  @youngstarfishdinosaur  @nottheotheruser

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 20] FINAL

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, shibari, dom!seungcheol, dirty talk, overstimulation/forced orgasms, squirting, degradation, name calling, daddy!kink, gags! 😍💕 ✨HAPPY NEW YEAR!!✨ Here’s to more fun fics in 2021! I can’t believe this is our last chapter though omg 😭 It’s been suuuuch a journey and a privilege to write this little series out! I’ve honestly thought about a camgirl/boy series for like, over a year now, and I’m glad I finally did it! I completed one of my goals! 🥺💕 2020 was definitely a wild one, but I want to thank you all so fuckin’ much for supporting me and stickin’ it out with me all year! Here’s to more in the coming year!💕 Also I was proofreading this at the dining table last night thinking my roommate wouldn’t come out of their room but they did(while I was making dinner and my hands were dirty so I couldnt close my laptop ☠️) and they walked past my laptop and now I’m convinced they saw my fucking smut fic right in the open so yes my little mini-break next week is MUCH needed cause I am ✨embarrassed✨ 🤣 I’ll still do my inbox roundup tomorrow and probably answer a bunch of small thirst posts ‘n stuff throughout the week but there won’t be any drabbles! For now, enjoy chapter 20 🥺, have a safe weekend, and remember that I love you~ ❤️🍒💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 COMPLETE

Seungcheol wakes up much earlier than you do the next morning; pressing a kiss to your forehead as you groan and snuggle deeper into your pillow.

“Baby, I need to go run some errands for a little bit, okay? Just keep sleeping, you don’t need to get up yet. But, I made breakfast and put it in the microwave for you when you decide to get up later.”

His voice is muffled and you can barely understand what he’s saying but you nod; a soft sigh on your lips when you drift back into dreamland. He takes his time getting ready, checking his phone notifications as he gets dressed and places a note on the nightstand knowing that you didn’t catch a single word he said.

‘Hey, did you get everything I asked for?’

Jimin🧍🏻: of course, who do you think I am? Jeongguk?

Jimin🧍🏻: and btw, i’m just giving you a crash course okay? We don’t really have a ton of time

Jimin🧍🏻: did you watch those tutorial videos I sent you?

‘Yeah, I did some practice on my breaks, but I guess you can tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.’

Jimin🧍🏻: okee, i’ll be waiting. Don’t get here too late!

‘I’ll be otw soon. Thanks again, Jimin.’

“Ow--damn, okay, you don’t need to tug on it so much!”

“Sorry, I’ll be careful! And why are we practicing on you anyway?! Couldn’t you just have shown me pictures or something?”

“How else will you learn if not on an actual body? It doesn’t work the same way, Seungcheol.” Jimin pauses, checking himself in the mirror. “Also, keep in mind she does have boobs so just… go slow, okay? It’s not gonna sit like this on her.”

Seungcheol blushes a crimson red; biting the inside of his cheek at how amateur he was at this.

“Okay…”

Seungcheol is gone for a lot longer than you anticipate and although he replies quickly to your texts, you can’t help but be curious about where he’d gone and what he was doing.

Especially knowing that the two of you had to film tonight and knowing that everything was up to Seungcheol.

A shiver rolls down your body at the thought and you quickly try to shake off the nerves that seem to slowly invade your body when your mind starts to wander.

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure…”

“I’m home!”

“Where have you--oh, that’s… a b-big box? Um, should I be concerned...”

Seungcheol grins, shrugging as he sets it onto the kitchen counter. “Just some supplies for tonight. I had to go pick them up from a friend but I had to make sure everything was right.” He notices the way you can’t seem to take your eyes off of the box; eyes twinkling when he makes his way towards you.

He tilts your head up to meet his in a searing kiss, lips easing into a smile when you wrap your arms around his neck and melt under his touch. You moan against his lips just before he pulls away; staring dreamily at him while his hands start to roam over your clothed body.

“We have a long night ahead of us, sweetheart. Let’s pamper you a little before then, hmm?”

j__min: ??? where’s the loverboy

j__min has donated $200

angelhan has donated $75

therealchan99 has donated $50

xcaliburDK has donated $75

xcaliburDK: is that the sybian? Haven’t seen that in a looong while

You bite your lip and nod, somewhat shy as you sit alone in front of the camera. “Seungcheol’s still… setting up but he told me to start! I’m a little nervous, to be honest…” Your eyes flit to Seungcheol who rummages through the box in the kitchen and from the angle you’re sat in, you can’t see a single thing he takes out.

Earlier, he’d cooked you your favorite meal and even took the time to give you a full body massage before the two of you cuddled on the sofa and watched a movie. To you, it seemed a little too suspiciously tame and you only found yourself more nervous when he made you drink two glasses of water and ever so quietly announced it was time to start getting ready for the camshow.

“He’s being so suspicious! He was even gone for a few hours earlier today…” You mumble; brows furrowed at the camera before checking the comments.

It still amazed you every time with how much money you and Seungcheol made from the camshows and videos and it made you feel even better knowing that everyone loved the chemistry the two of you had together. There were a lot of video requests and ideas mixed in with the comments at any given time and you were definitely ready to pitch some to Seungcheol now that you’d rebranded your channel to be a couple’s channel instead.

“Almost done, sweetheart!”

gc__koo: he told me to watch cuz he was being suspicious with me too 

gc__koo has donated $50

alphagyu97: what is he even plotting

alphagyu97: i am excited to see the sybian again tho ngl

artist8hao: pretty baby gonna squirt for us again?

universe_WZ: hell fuckin yea let us see how fuckin wrecked you get on that machine

You feel your pussy clench around emptiness at their comments; already feeling yourself getting wetter and wetter with the anticipation.

Movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention and Seungcheol walks towards the bed with a wide smile and the same box in hand. “Ready?” You can only nod back slowly, watching as he dumps the contents of the box right next to your body.

gc__koo: oy

chwenon: oh shit

sleepy_wonu: oh baby, you’re in for it now

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

Your entire body fills with warmth as you look over the various objects; unsure of where to really look first. “I, um--”

A stack of red ropes sits next to a small bullet vibrator that sits next to a ball gag that sits next to a pair of EMT shears and your eyes immediately flit up to Seungcheol who only smirks back at your shocked expression. “I had some other toys I wanted to use but I figured I should go easy on you, y’know? Since you showed me some mercy last night.”

Nodding, you reach out towards the ropes, touching them shyly. “Why red?”

“Thought they’d be on theme for you, babygirl.”

Seungcheol takes his time; remembering Jimin’s words when he tugs the ropes around your wrists.

“Colour, babygirl?”

“G-green… daddy…”

He nods, sitting up on his knees behind you as you sit on the sybian and face the camera. You bite your lip, somewhat embarrassed that you were already soaking the toy underneath you as Seungcheol worked to bind your arms behind you.

“D--daddy, where did you l-learn this?” You whisper, somewhat curious if this had anything to do with why he was gone for so long earlier in the day.

“Mm, daddy’s friend Jimin was kind enough to help me get the tools and teach me a few tricks to make sure I kept my babygirl safe. Wasn’t that kind of him?” You nod gently, gulping when you shift atop the machine slightly in hopes of relieving some of the growing sexual tension in your body. “Why don’t you thank him properly, sweetheart?”

Your hazy eyes make eye contact with the camera, head tilted slightly. “T-thank you, J-Jimin… for--for helping daddy…”

j__min: omg a shoutout ive made it

kitty_junjun: we never thought we’d see the day

tangerine_kwan: and here we all thought you were gonna be the bad guy huh

hoshi_tiger_xx: like when u only see previews of the book online but the rest of it is different ykwim

Seungcheol makes sure your arms are bound snug enough but not too tight; leaning away slightly to admire his rope work. “Feeling okay so far, babygirl?”

Nodding, you whine back slightly. “Y-yes, daddy… But… my--my pussy wants s-something…” He laughs in return, readjusting so that he’s sitting on your side this time to give himself easier access to start the rest of the bindings.

“Is that so? You’re gonna have to be a little more patient this time ‘cause daddy’s not done yet.” He starts working on the rest of the harness; going slow and checking in with you often to make sure none of the ropes were digging into your skin or making you uncomfortable. “You’ll have to forgive me a little though, I’m admittedly a ‘lil inexperienced so our pretty babygirl is only going to be tied up in this pretty harness for tonight.”

gentleman_josh95: the fact u even took the time to learn just for her

gentleman_josh95 has donated $100

artist8hao: seriously, the dedication

kitty_junjun: we stan a man who knows safety and etiquette 

Comments of reassurance and donations flood in at Seungcheol’s small apology and although the two of you are in your own world; you can tell from just the amount of pings coming from your laptop that they all seemed to be encouraging him.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as Seungcheol continues to move around you on the bed to finish the harness and a smile graces his lips when he starts to secure the last knots in the back. He can’t help but mentally pat himself on the back at how neatly he’d done it for his first time.

“There. All done, baby.”

Your eyes flit to the laptop’s screen to see yourself; cheeks hot when you see how fucked out you already look and he hadn’t even touched you properly or turned on the machine.

The star harness Seungcheol had tied looks pretty with red ropes and you can’t hide your smile at how good it looks on you too either. “Ah, daddy made it really p-pretty… Thank you.”

This time, Seungcheol nods, letting you admire yourself as he silently reaches for the small remote for the sybian, switching it on.

Your entire body lurches forward as soon as the vibrations attack your clit and you immediately find yourself moaning and grinding down onto the machine as he gives you some relief.  

“You’re welcome, babygirl. Now let’s really have some fun, huh?”

You need to cum.

Badly.

“Awww, is my pretty baby drooling? Does it feel that good on your sensitive ‘lil clit?” He teases, smoothing down your hair as you cry around the ball gag in your mouth; drool seeping out from the side of your lips when he raises the vibrations a setting higher.

You don’t know how many times he’d played with the settings and edged you by now, but all you do know is that the urge to cum only grows stronger as you grind against the machine, soaking it with your wetness as you chase the pleasure building up in your body again.  

Surely cumming was okay, right? He never said you couldn’t.

You whimper around the ball gag, eyes fluttering shut when the tension in your body snaps in the blink of an eye and your thighs clamp down onto the sides of the machine. Throwing your head back, you moan against the gag and ride out your high as Seungcheol watches you from the side.

“Mm, bet that felt good, huh? But I know you want something in that greedy ‘lil cunt of yours, don’t you? You want daddy’s cock slamming into your tight ‘lil hole ‘til it’s full of my cum, right, sweetheart?” He licks his lips, turning off the sybian as you slump forward.

universe_WZ: shit shes so sensitive

chwenon: especially with her arms bound like that i bet she’s on cloud nine rn

gentleman_josh95: her cute lil head is probably all fuzzy already from all the sensations

therealchan99 has donated $100

gc__koo has donated $75

j__min has donated $150

All you can do is whimper and nod; teary eyes blinking back at Seungcheol as he smirks and leans in towards you.

“Mmm, you’ll get what you want eventually. But for now, you’re gonna cum again.”

He turns the sybian back on, licking his lips when he sees your body tensing again. It was always easier to get you to cum a second time and his point is proven when you mewl around the ball gag a few minutes later; chest heaving in stuttered breaths as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit when you’re quickly thrown into another orgasm.

“You always cum for daddy so easily, don’t you, babygirl?”

Your head feels fuzzy after already cumming twice in such a short span of time but you nod, head lolling to the side as Seungcheol finally turns the sybian off for good.

Seungcheol gives you a second to catch your breath before he’s scooting in and fiddling with the clasps at the back of your head to take the ball gag off.

A thread of saliva connects your lips to the gag and you whimper at how good it feels to be able to actually speak again. “D-daddy…” Drool drips from your mouth as your lead lolls forward and Seungcheol is quick to bring a hand up to keep your head up as he looks into your lust filled eyes.

“Colour, sweetheart?”

“Still g-green…” He nods back, checking to make sure none of the ropes had shifted. “Would you like some water before we continue, baby?”

“Yes, daddy…”

He fetches you a glass of water, tilting it against your lips as you down the entire glass and you find yourself a little surprised at how needed it was. “Thank you, d-daddy…”

“You’re welcome, babygirl. Ready to keep going?”

You nod, a little bit more energized. “I hope everyone, mmh, l-likes the show so f-far~” Your teary vision prevents you from reading the comments and before you can even make an effort to, Seungcheol is already helping you off of the machine and helping you sit on the bed across from him.

alphagyu97: ugh she looks so fucking good in that harness

angelhan: right? That shade of red looks so good against her skin too

angelhan: so fuckin pretty

tangerine_kwan: pics for the private room later? Plz i beg

Seungcheol takes this time to take off his boxer briefs, cock curving up against his abdomen when he’s fully naked across from you. He wraps a hand around his cock, moaning and spreading the precum down his shaft as you watch. “D’you want this, baby?”

Your lips fall open in a silent moan as you watch Seungcheol jerk himself off and you can’t help but squirm. “Y-yes…”

“Tell me exactly what you want then. Let them hear what a filthy little slut you are for me.” You can’t help but feel miserably empty watching him and despite having already cum twice, you want his cock fucking you open and making you cum again.

“I--I--”

“Yes, babygirl?”

“I, ngh, I want d-daddy’s cock… Please? Ah, I--I wanna feel you fucking my--my pussy into the, mmh, s-shape of your c-cock… And I w-want you to c-cum inside my--my slutty little h-hole…”

Seungcheol scoffs, hips shallowly thrusting up into his enclosed fist. “That’s right. You’re just my slutty ‘lil babygirl that lets me use all her tight holes how I please, right? You like it when I cum down your throat and in your pretty ‘lil ass. But we all know you like it best when I cum in your hot ‘lil cunt. Makes you feel all warm and full, doesn’t it? You like it when my cum is dripping out of your spent cunt and sliding down your shaky thighs.” This time you nod furiously as you whine back in response.

“P-please… Can’t wait any--anymore!”

This time, the impatience takes over as you slightly tug on the ropes; whining when they don’t give. “Daddy!”

And this time, he gives in quicker than he anticipates, growling as he reaches for the EMT shears to cut you from the harness. “Don’t let your arms down, no matter how much you want to. You’re going to strain your arms if you move too fast so let me handle it, okay, sweetheart?”

The sudden gentleness in his voice has a giddy warmth pouring over you as you nod and sit still while he cuts at various points of the harness to make the ropes fall loose around your arms and chest. You keep your arms in the same position like he requested and you soon feel his hands roaming your skin and massaging your arms to get the blood flowing again.

“You’re so good for me, baby.” He whispers against your hair, leaning down to kiss your shoulder before he slowly easing your arms down from being folded behind your back.

He continues to massage your arms for a few more minutes before it’s you that’s getting impatient. “Daddy… Can you fuck me now?” Whispering, you slightly turn your body to the side to meet his gentle stare.

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, nodding. “Lay on your back for me, legs spread.”

You follow his orders as you quickly scramble to get into position; legs spread wide for him to situate himself between.

“Mm, your pussy is still so fuckin’ wet. I wanna taste you on my tongue, baby.” Whines spill from your lips as you shake your head ‘no.’

“No! My p-pussy feels empty, I need y-your cock, daddy… ‘n I’m so wet, you can probably, ah, just s-slide your cock in…”

He wraps a hand around his cock just as you wrap your legs around his waist and he guides himself until the head of his cock is right at your entrance.

Neither of you say a word as he slowly starts to sink his cock in; guttural moans on his lips when he meets no resistance and bottoms out in a singular thrust. “Holy fuck, your cunt is so fuckin’ wet. Shit, and so t-tight!” You clench around him, already feeling good with his cock inside of you as you beg him to fuck you hard and fast.

“Ngh, p-please fuck me like--like I’m your, hah, c-cocksleeve… I want it f-fast, daddy!”

He grits his teeth at your words; drawing his hips back before snapping them into you just how you wanted. “Fast, hmm? All you think about in that pretty head of yours is my cock pounding you open, huh? Slamming into you so fuckin’ good, it makes your toes curl when you cum.”

Seungcheol starts a quick pace, already feeling the pleasure building up for himself when you’re reduced to garbled noises and broken cries of his name. The heels of your feet dig into the small of his back as you try to press him in closer and he’s quick to reach for the small bullet vibrator left on the bed next to your body.

“Your body is so fuckin’ sensitive, I can already feel how tight you’re getting around me. So fuckin’ greedy to cum too. Already came twice and you still want more. You’re not satisfied until your whole body is shaking underneath me, huh, sweetheart?” He turns the small toy on, pressing it to your clit as you yelp and let out choked sobs.

“Ah, ngh, d-daddy, my--my clit’s t-too sen--sensitive! I--I can’t--!” Squirming, you feel the pressure building up obscenely quick; bottom lip quivering when he takes one of your free hands and makes you hold the toy to your swollen clit.

“Just a little more, sweetheart. Don’t you wanna cum?”

He angles his thrusts to graze against your g-spot and loud cries of his name leave your lips in a hurried, jumbled mess when he only doubles his pace.

The sound of donations and comments pour in like water and get lost within the ringing in your ears; unable to even warn Seungcheol that you’re about to cum when you feel your entire body starting to lock up underneath him.

Your lips part in a silent scream and your back bows off of the bed, thighs shaking uncontrollably as you cum for the third time. Seungcheol growls, fucking you through it as you squirt all over his lower half.  He finds it harder and harder to thrust into you as you cum, but he feels himself quickly following suit with your warm walls fluttering around his cock.

“Fuck, baby, that’s right. Squirt for me, get me fuckin’ soaked while you cum.” He uses a free hand to make sure you keep the toy pressed to your clit, growling when he starts to unload his cum inside of you. “Mmh, gonna fill your cunt up with what you want, baby.”

A shaky moan leaves your lips as you feel him throbbing inside your pussy; walls clamped down onto him in a vice grip as you ride out the remnants of your orgasm.

“Ah, d-daddy’s cumming suh--so much inside of my p-pussy…”

Whining, you feel Seungcheol’s grip on your hand give way as he rides out his pleasure and you take the opportunity to turn off the small bullet vibrator while he doesn’t notice.

You watch his face contort in pleasure, hips still shallowly thrusting into you as his entire body shivers above you.

“D-daddy’s so h-handsome...” You mumble, cheeks hot when he cracks a smile through the pleasure wracking his body and chuckles under his breath. 

“Thank you, babygirl.” 

After you end the show, Seungcheol makes sure to cuddle with you on the bed for a little while longer.

“One more glass of water, baby.” You whine in response, pouting up at him before he gets up from the soaked sheets. 

“But I already had a glass! If you have a piss kink just say so, ‘Cheol!”

He lets out a boisterous laugh at your comment, trudging back to the bed from the kitchen with another glass of water for you. “You need to be hydrated, sweetheart. You came three times and we played a little more rough today. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” 

“Fine, but you didn’t deny my comment.” You snarkily reply, taking the glass from him as you down the water. 

“Don’t make me have to punish you again! I’ll have you know I still need to get you all washed up and change the bed--”

A faint pinging has the two of you turning to the laptop; still on your camming homepage from where you’d checked the revenues from tonight’s show. 

A small [1] sits above your inbox and Seungcheol is quick to turn to you with an eyebrow raised. “I thought you turned off the messaging system on your profile?” 

You tilt your head in confusion, handing him the emptied glass. “I did. The only messages I should get are from, like, the actual system admins or other creator accounts which, I haven’t received any ‘til... now, I guess?”

Seungcheol sets the glass down onto the nightstand before he takes a seat next to you, dragging the laptop closer as you go to check the notification. 

“’Love&Letter Films’? Aren’t they one of the biggest adult film companies?” Mumbling, you click on the message, giving yourself and Seungcheol a second to process the message that stares back at you; a shocked smile on your lips.

‘Hello!

I hope this message finds Cherry and Seungcheol well. 

We, at ‘Love&Letter Films’, have really enjoyed the shows and videos from your channel throughout the years and we really have enjoyed watching the growth of your channel and the addition of Seungcheol to it. The dynamics between the two of you are rare in this industry and we’ve yet to see anyone like the two of you in this market. 

The shows from the last two nights have proven that the two of you have the right kind of chemistry to film together for bigger productions and we would love to hire you for a few film productions we have planned in the upcoming weeks as a feeler. Of course, all expenses paid by us if you would kindly take our offer. 

We love the various scenes and roles that the two of you take on with ease and we would love to help propel your careers forward, should you pursue a career in the adult entertainment industry. 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me as I’ve listed my contact information below. I’m excited to hear from the two of you and hope to work with you in the future on many projects.

Respectfully, 

Kwon Soonyoung, L&L FILMS CEO’

[aquamoonchaii]

•• genre: fluff, angst

•• warning: mentions of alcohol

•• pairing: xiaojun x fem! reader

•• wc: 1.4k

•• collab: Resonance Beach by @amorajae

•• charlie's notes: enjoy this cheesy piece <3

•• summary: you two choose the worst time to argue and separate each other for a while so xiaojun is now a party pooper and he is a sappy drunk asshole. did he even understand what you said that night?

“He is the luckiest asshole in the whole resort.”

“Not as lucky as me, remember I won the tickets to get here in the first place.” YangYang brags and a couple of mocking “thank you sir” echo the room.

“But really, who the fuck brings this alcoholic to his room?” Hendery questions and the man in question scoffs, sitting up just to find all the idiots gathered around him.

"Are you really talking about me….around me?" SiCheng, without a word, grabs his face like searching for something then proceeds to grab his hands and puts them up as he is shirtless. "He is complete, no organs removed or bruises. This guy right here is indeed lucky." Xiaojun furrows his eyebrows as SiCheng gives him a slap on the back, stands up and leaves as everyone follows him talking about what they should have for breakfast but the only rational one stays.

Kun rolls his eyes at his hungover friend when handing him a glass of water with pills he got there. "You know this resort masters at wild parties and strong liquor so why are you drinking so much? The blackout thing and being lightheaded are not sexy nor a good combination."

"I'm a grown man, it's fine."

" I know, that's why no one follows you."

"Don't lie, I heard the bartender calling you."

"...maybe. But that's not the point, how do you even get here?" XiaoJun groans because it's too early for this and he is hungry, thinking how he wants to go home and be at peace. "Whatever, just don't die DeJun. Do you have any news?"

He lowers his head and shakes it, no one really mentions it as they promised to shut up about it hoping he shuts up and enjoy.

Xiaojun indeed has been quiet but drinks one beer and he is sobbing about Y/N once again. Goddamnit. It's been a week of him drowning in his tears and three days of him drowning in alcohol, his friend is really heartbroken and he secretly wonders if this type of codependency is actually good for him.

Kun bites his hand to not call you and ask what happened because XiaoJun won't talk about the whole stuff. You two were basically glued to each other since you started dating and it was a bit awkward but XiaoJun looked happier and you were really nice to everyone.

He wonders if his probably now single friend is going to be alright. For now, he just listens to him talk for a bit and forces him to swallow a lot of healthy snacks so his liver doesn't collapse.

……….

It's been two long days at the resort and everyone is having fun except XiaoJun. He has been basically brought here as another suitcase anyways, one night he has been slurring words about Y/N and how the guys would have to kill him to make him accept the invitation to the resort and the next day he woke up at lunch time with a huge hangover at a king sized bed... at the Resort.

Fuck them all.

Until Kun made some sense because well, they didn't do it to mess with him. Actually, yes but also because XiaoJun was one of the most excited when Yangyang played a stupid lottery and won tickets to a luxury resort for a week. He helped Kun to organize everything for the other chaotic asshats, it was gonna be an unforgettable summer vacation.

Yangyang and the guys approved Y/N so they invited her but no one asked anything, maybe it was because he arrived late at the dorms looking like garbage after meeting you. He remembers reaching them and opening his hand to show them both of your rings, how embarrassing but at least that stopped the questions.

After Kun leaves, he slurs a thank you because he knows he is making this trip a nightmare for him. But a question keeps running through his head, does he actually reach his own dorm by himself?

DeJun can't even stand on his feet when frick an he acts wild almost screaming what he feels because the alcohol softs his vocal chords and makes him rant about his feelings he prefers no to talk about sober.

He doesn't stand up but leans to the little table at his left to search for his wallet and grab a lot of cash, he'll search the person and tip him extra because it's probably one of the service people that looks the worst side of him.

Let's give us some time. It would be good for both of us, DeJun.

Honestly, fuck you.

How is this good?

It was a silly argument that turned into something big as stress and miscommunication clashed, you both hurt each other with harsh words and stormed out in opposite directions. The next day he met you to talk things out and you forgave each other but it had turned awfully when you returned the promise ring to him.

You are not coming back, he can feel it.

Honestly, he wants to run to you and do something for you to get him back. But what if you end things right away? You said something about giving him a week to enjoy himself as the most repetitive thing of him at the argument was you being everywhere and he couldn't breathe.

He sighs, how stupid of him.

Basically, DeJun is the clingy one so that didn't make sense. He was the one expecting for you to come and cuddle him as you bicker with Yangyang as he tried to roast him, you caressing his hair as he played the guitar and sing for you, the little kisses on his cheek when he felts sad, how you didn't leave his hand even when you were paying for the snacks. He loved it, he was the one to search for your hand so you can hold him a bit more.

If you are taking your revenge now, it's working and he wishes once again being at the dorm so the wondering and the waiting eats him alive.

You are not coming back but he is hoping you do somehow.

…….

"DeJun! Are you drunk?" He shakes his head as he arrives at the fun stuff to do, maybe doing something would make him stop thinking about you for a bit. Everyone pats their back as he probably looks like crap and make him go to beach and learn surf.

...it doesn't work but he feels less miserable at least.

No headaches are cool too as night arrives and they are invited to a party. SiCheng bet him 100 dollars he couldn't pass the night without a single shot and he raises an eyebrow.

"I'll be the one who takes you to the dorm, I won't clean anything tho."

"Deal."

The variety of cocktails makes everyone drunk as hell and XiaoJun actually has fun watching Kun dancing on the table as everyone cheers for him. Hendery breaks empty glasses as he tries to do a house of cards with them, he is the one in charge of apologies tonight. SiCheng literally passes out on his lap and he can't move.

Luckily, the staff helps him and takes each asshat to their room and he gets the chance to ask who is the person who takes him to his own room.

"No staff was needed, sir. A lady came the first night and handed me her number so I could call her when you were passed out."

"Uh, what?"

"We allowed it as he addressed herself as your girlfriend. The friend who slept over you confirmed to us she made you arrive safely."

WHAT.

"Can you call her please?"

And there you are coming hurriedly from another side of the resort, waving at the bartender. "Where is he?"

He lifts his hand and nervously waves, you approach him awkwardly and waved too. "So you caught me."

"Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"Well, you weren't in conditions for it."

"And what's the best condition?" He doesn't know how to feel, but being embarrassed is the first thing that gets the best of him as you saw it all.

"Maybe sober?" You shrugged your shoulders and sat down in front of him, his cheeks heated because he remembers talking to someone about how sorry he feels for the woman he loves. "You really don't know how to listen to me, huh?" He looks at you utterly confused but his heart flutters when you extend your hand to him. DeJun carefully grabs yours and lets out a shaky sigh like he has been holding his breath since you left.

"Y/N…"

"There's no need to explain further, I heard it all with hiccups and everything." You chuckle and caress his hand. "It was too extreme for me to return the ring, I'm so sorry for that. But I really thought a week alone would make us think if this relationship was going well and… I felt awful. I literally made you cookies twice and kept forgetting we were on a break. I am not sure how to ask this but, how did your week go?"

"I literally can't see because of how swollen my eyes are. Never do this again please I'm so annoyed I'm going to cry again."

"I won't I promise, I also can't see." You laugh and he looks at you, your sweet eyes lighten up as he stands up and kisses them both over the table as he mutters apologies again.

"Can you keep it as a secret what I did hen drunk?"

"You screamed my name but I loved it." XiaoJun groans and covers his ears as you laugh, he searches his pocket and give shou the ring.

He is never going to drink again but he makes you write on a napkin a promise to wear the ring everywhere.

[bkfics]

II.

You’re now sitting on the bench with your pen and notepad, ready to write down datas from the match but.. You can’t. You can’t concentrate on the match, you can’t shake this anxiety away and you keep thinking about what happened in the hallways a few minutes ago.

[15 minutes ago, hallways]

You see Sakusa coming towards you, step by step, he’s closing the gap between him and you, but all you want is to get away from him, everyone is really confused because they can see how he wants to reach to you and also how much you’re so nervous and shaking from the moment he opened that damn door, almost having a panic attack.

You can hear the others whispering: Do they know each other? Why is she shaking like she just saw a ghost? Is she okay? Then it becomes silent..

You want to answer but not even a single sound is coming out, it’s like your vocal cords just disappeared, you just hope for someone to break this awkward silence.

You know that someday you would meet him again, but the timing is really messed up, you’re not ready to meet him, you don’t know what to say to him and you didn’t prepare anything or YOURSELF.

He keeps walking and you start thinking things like: Is this fate? Is this the time to tell him everything? That he has kids? But if he knows, he’s gonna get mad or mess up his focus during the match. Is he even gonna accept it? What if he thinks that you’re crazy? What if everyone thinks that you’re crazy? And if you tell him, are the kids going to accept it? If they do, will you be able to accept it? You worked your ass off to raise the twins. He doesn’t know what you’re been through. Well, you never told him about your pregnancy, so he really might think that you’re crazy and you’re just trying to get back at him as a revenge for leaving you. He never contacted you asking how you were doing, for 4 years.

‘Y/N-‘ before he could’ve even say something, he get interrupted by the arrival of Coach Sazaku of ADLERS and Coach Foster of MSBY.

‘Ahh, you’re both here, the match is about to start so.’ Coach Sazaku says loudly to you and Kageyama.

‘Let’s go and do some stretch.’ Coach Foster continues. You think how can they be so coordinated. Well. They’ve been friends for a long time. But still, it’s weirdly cool.

You feel a bit calmer now, but the anxiety is still there, so you go first inside to prepare the towels and water bottles for the guys.

_ _ _ _ _

Sighing after thinking of that event, you don’t notice a ball coming straight at you.. Bam! Before blacking out, you hear the twins and Ryota yelling out your name..

After the one who spiked that ball landed, he got slapped on his back.

‘Man, Omi-Omi, you really don’t have any mercy wether it’s a guy or girl, huh?’ Atsumu says while shaking his head.

‘Huh?’ Sakusa replies dumbfounded.

‘I know that “lose” doesn’t exist in your vocabulary, but man, I don’t think you had to spike that hard this time, even though you were getting blocked..’ Says Bokuto joining in the conversation.

At this point Sakusa is getting drilled by the teammates’ questions.

‘W-What are you talking about?!’ He asks like he got caught for cheating on a test.

‘Omi-kun! Y-You didn’t kill her, right?’ Hinata asks really worried for Y/N

‘Wha—‘

‘Their beautiful manager, you knocked her out. Like, you hit target. Bullseye. 100 points!’ Hinata jokingly says, but still serious.

After he turns his head towards the bench on the other side and sees the commotion that’s going on, the realisation of having hit Y/N felt like a truck coming straight at him at full speed. The coach asked for a time-out to tend the injured, the match stopped and the players started gathering in a circle around you.

Sakusa instinctively sprints towards you and wonder if you’re okay, but he sees Ushijima with you in his arms to lay you down on a matt behind the bench, after the paramedics assured everyone saying that you just fainted and there were no problems or any grave injuries, they also said that you’re waking up soon, so everyone calmed down.

Sakusa immediately apologises to the coach and the team.

‘She’s still alive, right Omi-kun?’ Hinata asks still worried and because he got blocked by the other players in the front and can’t see anything from his spot.

Sakusa didn’t hear Hinata, he’s too worried for you.

‘BOKE! HINATA BOKE! How can you kill someone with a spike?!’ Kageyama answers him back like they were still in high school.

After a few minutes, the MC announces ‘We apologise for the inconvenience. The match is resuming.’

Everyone are going to their respective positions, Sakusa keeps thinking about you and still apologising to you in his head. Overthinking is winning over his focus on the match, he hasn’t seen you for 4 years. He really wanted to call you, or at least send you a message, but he had always practice and friendly matches, and when he had free time, he used it for resting. Then he meets you again, still beautiful like a fresh rose under the sun of spring, he was shocked to see you again and didn’t know if asking how were you doing was the right question to ask you, when he started walking towards you and greet you, he got interrupted and lost his chance.

The match is starting and he can’t concentrate because he’s now having thoughts and questions in his head..

Why were you shaking back then? I thought we ended things on good terms, so why? Are you still mad that I just broke up with without any warning? It was a hard decision for both of us, so.. Y/N, did it hurt so much? Did I hurt you? So the smile back then.. was it to hide the fact that you were breaking apart? That it was to not make me feel any guilt? Why? Was it for my good? All I really want right now is to talk to you, to have a long conversation over some drinks like we used to. But now you’re lying there unconscious, because of me, i’m really sorry.. 

Even tho he’s making little mistakes on the court, he keeps glancing at you and he really admires you, still cares for you and his heart agrees with that.

The game is still going on and he wants his team to win no matter what, so he slapped his face to focus again.

You slowly open your eyes as you’re waking up, your head still hurts from the ball that hit you. Where were you? Did you guys win the match? What was the score? Wait.. THE MATCH!

Then you quickly sit straight and that’s really a bad idea.

‘Easy there, Y/N. Here, drink some water.’ Captain Hirugami offers you.

‘How are you doing? Are you okay?’ He continues.

‘Doesn’t matter, what about the match?’

‘What do you mean it doesn’t matt-‘

‘The. Match.’ You say while glaring at him.

‘W-Well, we’re on the lead and it’s currently the third set.. ah wait, let me help you.’ He offers you his arm for support and he walks you to the bench.

‘Oh, btw, there’s a blonde guy with two kids upstairs behind us, they kept asking if you were alright.’

Then you turn around to look because you have no idea what he’s saying since you still feel a little bit dizzy and you see Ryota with a worried look, but you assure him with a smile and saying that you’re okay without any sound and you give the kids a thumb up.

‘Family?’ The captain asks and you nod your head with a smile.

‘Your little siblings are really cute.’ He says giggling .

You want to deny that they’re not your siblings and when you’re about to say it, you get interrupted by the referee whistling for the point, unfortunately the point is made by the MSBY.

‘They’ve already caught up.’ He says annoyed.

Suddenly you hear the coach shouting ‘Time-out!’ to the officials, then you stand up, clear the bench ready to hand out the towels and water bottles with the help from the reserves.

You start giving them and someone says ‘You’re awake already? We were worried for you, you know?’ Ushijima says with a plain face ‘yeah.. thank you for your concern, Ushijima-kun.’

‘Yeah, Sakusa-san even came here just make sure you were okay.’ adds Kageyama.

Your eyes widens by hearing that and you ask them ‘Did he?’ while picking up some towels that were dropped.

Then Romero joins the conversation saying ‘Well, he was the one that spiked the ball.. ending at your face..’ and he adds ‘Although, it’s our fault for not blocking it. We’re sorry, Y/N-chan.’

You shake your head reassuring them that it wasn’t their fault at all, you don’t need apologies from anyone, because it was you fault that you got hit for getting distracted.

Then the coach starts giving instructions to the boys while they’re catching their breath and resting, you’re tidying up and decide to take a glance at the other team, specifically at Sakusa, but you get surprised by him already looking at you.

Sakusa felt a sense of relief after he sees that you’re fine, but he got sad real quick when you looked away to avoid eye-contact with him, but he already knew that you would look away.

The time-out is done and the boys are walking to the court when you suddenly say ‘Hmm.. i-‘ and everyone stops to look and listen to you ‘know that i’ve been absent for almost the entire game but i..’ you’ve always been direct to them, but you feel a little shy right now because they took care of you, they’re also tall, handsomes and gentlemens, who wouldn’t get shy or feel intimidated?

‘So please, don’t get down just because of a mistake and give your best! And the most important thing.. have fun!!’ You finish while blushing hard, but still giving them a big smile stamped on your face.

Then you hear them yelling ‘YESSS MA’AM!!!!!!’ while also wearing that warm smile.

‘Am i dreaming? You all heard that, right? I’m not the only one, right? This is the first time that Y/N-chan said something like that.’ says Hoshiumi charged up after hearing those cheering words.

‘Y/N-chaaaan, please keep cheering for us!!’ says the libero, Heiwajima while jumping and smiling back at you.

They’re all now in positions, ready to win.

The guys really worked hard for it, but.. after the MSBY made 2 consecutive points, the referee blew the final whistle, signalling that the opposite team won. The MSBY players were celebrating and jumping around for winning the match, while on the other side of the court some were lying down catching their breath and complain about how tired they were, while some were trying to not fall.. but Kageyama was facing Hinata over the net with a big smile ‘Welcome Home’ he said with a handshake.

They were all smiling even though they lost, they had fun at least.

You couldn’t help but tear a little bit because you know how hard they trained for this match, but you accept the fact that you lost and just smile saying ‘Thank you for your hardwork.’ to them with a bow.

After a few minutes, the people start to leave and the players start to do their post-game stretching and you start cleaning and tidying up everything, you then hear someone call you from upstairs ‘Y/N-cchi, can we go down there? The twins really want to come down.’ It’s Ryota.

‘Of course, I think it’s time to let the team meet the kids.. just be careful while stepping down the stairs’ you reply back ‘ah, also, Ryota-kun, welcome home.’ You add with a big smile

He answers back with a smile too ‘Tadaima.’ (I’m back home)

Most of the players are pretty done with their stretching, Kise made it to the court and was walking towards Y/N with Kisara on his arm while Kazuhiko was running around.

Ryota shouts ‘Kazu-chan, be careful not to trip and hurt yourself.’

‘Yes, otōsaan!!’ Kazuhiko happily answered.

Then Kise reached and gave Kisara to Y/N.

‘Okāsaaaan, are you okay? You weren’t waking up for such a loong time.’ Kisara immediately asks.

You reply with a big smile ‘Yes, honey, don’t worry, it didn’t hurt, I’m super okay!’ 

‘Are you sure? We’ll drop by the doctor to make sure, alright?’ Ryota says super worried.

‘Oh, but where’s Kazu-chan?’ You ask.

‘Ah! He was just behind us, wait i’m gonna pick him up.’ Ryota answers and goes off immediately.

[On the other side of the court]

Sakusa was done with his stretching and he was changing his wet jersey to put a clean t-shirt on when suddenly someone bumped into his leg. It was a kid. Kazuhiko.

‘Hey, have you gotte—‘ he was gonna say something that he would usually say to his teammates but he rethinks and he asks ‘What are you doing? Did you come to see your big brother? Where are you parents?’ 

‘Uh, i come to see my mom, she works with many guys that have white clothes.’ He answers with his cute little voice.

Was he looking for the manager of the ADLERS? But mom? Maybe this is her brother or nephew.. 

‘Then let me take you there, is that okay?’ He asks while taking Kazuhiko’s little hand. Sakusa doesn’t know this feeling. He just takes the little kid’s hand and he’s feeling some kind of connection; for the first time, he takes his hand without thinking about his germaphobia. What is happening to me? He asks himself .

‘Yes, thank you onīsan.’ Kazuhiko answers with a smile.

Sakusa started melting Inside when Kazuhiko smiled at him ‘But onisan? Why does calling me onisan doesn’t feel right to me?’ he thinks to himself.

When they’re about to go, someone comes up to him and says while bowing ‘Sorry if he’s caused you any trouble-‘ he looks up and sees Sakusa ‘Oh, you can let go now. I’m here to pick MY. KID.’ It’s Kise Ryota and he’s a little annoyed, he’s smiling, but it’s insincere.

‘Otōsaan!’ Shouts little Kazuhiko.

‘Come on, Kazu-chan, okāsan and Kisara are waiting for you.’

‘Right! Let’s go to them!’ says the determined little Kazuhiko already running towards you.

‘Oh, before i forget, take these, I know you need ‘em.’ adds Ryota while throwing some wipes and a little bottle of hand sanitizer for kids to Sakusa.

Now Sakusa thinks.. Huh? How did he know? Do i kno-

Before he could finish his thought, there goes Y/N in his sight.

‘Hey Y/N-‘ Sakusa says while waving.

‘Kazuhiko, my baby, where were you??’ You ask him.

‘I was looking around and i met that cool oniisan’ he answers.

‘Oniisan?’

‘Yeah, he was going to take me to you.’

‘Oh, let’s thank him properly then.’ You say and start to walk with him while you’re carrying Kisara. Then you see Kise talking to someone and think that he might be the kind person that Kazuhiko was talking about.

When you reach them, you didn’t think that Sakusa would be there, isn’t he a germaphobe? What is he still doing on the court? Doesn’t he usually go straight to the locker room after every match? The Kazuhiko suddenly shouts ‘Otōsaaaaan! Okāsan came to thank the oniisan!’

You’re speechless.. you are now in front of the twins’ real father, and the real father is now in front of his kids.. oh no.. 

masterpost | I. | III.

FACTS: 

The team respects your privacy so they never ask about your private life, that’s why they don’t know that you have two kids, the only one that knows is the coach

Kise is purposely being rude to Sakusa because he knows who he is 

Hinata really finds you beautiful

@rrroadkill @samwise-though @lola2001 @velociraptorenthusiast @mjade1321 @farmertoshi @kurosiee @googiembul @hohoshiumi @floralkawa @miwtze

[trensu]

Episode 46: The One with All the Yunmeng Bros Angst

gross, ouyang and yao are talking. let’s ignore them!

blah blah plot plot blah

ooh thank god, wwx is now the one talking

being all detective-y and asking relevant questions

I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY WHEN HE'S BEING CLEVER

wwx makes some Plot Relevant Point and yao is like I DISAGREE bc ofc he fucking does

LOL WWX'S FACE WHEN YAO INTERRUPTS LIKE THAT

IT'S LIKE HE'S BITING DOWN ON HIS TONGUE TO NOT SNAP SOMETHING BACK

kudos to him on his self-control tbh but it's wasted on yao. 

wwx is all asking things like why are you ladies fessing up now, oh and btw that's a real neat bracelet you got there...

and then nhs is like, gee i wonder what kind of person would've sent these ladies here today

LOLOLOL NHS IS SUCH A TROLL OMG

and yao is like DETAILS DON'T MATTER, WHAT IS CRITICAL THINKING ANYWAY LET'S GO MURDER FOR JUSTICE AGAIN

and everyone else is like, HEY, THIS LOUD GUY HAS A POINT LET'S GO MURDER

okay, they don't actually say anything about murder but they're harping about "justice" 

The last time they did that, it resulted in murder so i'm gonna go ahead and assume this time isn't any different

lwj: many skeptical points remain

THANK YOU, LWJ, FOR BEING SENSIBLE

oh, and i would like to point out that the crowd had been getting rowdy 

but the minute lwj interjected there they all fell silent

My guy didn't even raise his voice and was able to shut up a whole room full of people.

I LOVE YOU HANGUANG JUN

lqr: what are they?

wwx: SO MANY. 

wwx makes some Points and is like so we got some witnesses now but where's the HARD EVIDENCE GUYS??

and yao is like, whatever, we'll find it sooner or later now that we know THE TRUTH

and wwx's reaction lolol

it's like oh my god how stupid is this guy, that's not how it works, that's not how ANY of this works

I FEEL YOUR PAIN, WWX, I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL

ppl are blabbering Plot Stuff

i'm just gonna enjoy the occasional shots of wwx and lwj's beautiful faces

blah blah blah plot plot plot blah

gosh, my boys are so pretty

LOOK AT THEM BEING PRETTY, I LOVE THEM

(i say as the crowd devolves into vicious mob mentality)

wwx's had enough of this and turns to leave bc angry mobs are old news at this point

And we all know how he ended up last time there was an angry mob

but yao and some rando interrupt his exit as if they have ANY RIGHT to speak to my sunshine boy at all

Eventually we DO escape sword hall and the mob of stupid people and our boys are alone together wandering lotus pier!!!

they're reviewing Plot Info and bouncing ideas off each other and IT'S BEAUTIFUL, THEY'RE SO SMART AND IN LOVE

They determine that they don't have enough clues to say who the mysterious 3rd party is

but they def have enough evidence showing jgy murdered nmj and is generally an evil conniving bastard.

lwj mentions that he's going to send word to his brother to be careful since jgy is EVIL FOR SURE NOW.

oooh, our boys just came upon the jiang clan's ancestral shrine

wwx freezes, eyes red-rimmed and shiny, MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

lwj: what's wrong?

ALL OF HIS ATTENTION IS GLUED TO WWX'S EVERY MOVE ALL THE TIME, ISN'T IT??

SEE HOW INTENTLY HE LOOKS AT WWX??

me too, lan zhan, me too

wwx: nothing. it's the ancestral hall of the jiang clan

he says this softly, like it hurts to acknowledge it or smth

lwj: do you want to enter?

wwx: no

WHICH IS A BLATANT LIE

EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SCREAMING HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO GO IN THERE

they make to turn away and pause for a moment, during which wwx looks back at the shrine longingly

cut to the next scene where we see wwx burning some incense sticks in the shrine

AND OUR BOYS BOW TOGETHER  3x TO M-YU, JFM, AND JYL

wwx greets his deceased loved ones solemnly

wwx: it's me. i'm here to disturb you again.

idk about m-yu and jfm, BUT JYL WOULD NEVER THINK WWX'S PRESENCE WAS A DISTURBANCE

now wwx is telling lwj about how he used to spend a ton of time in that shrine bc m-yu would punish him by sending him there to, idk, reflect on his sins before the ancestors or smth

and lwj is like, yeah, i heard about that

then wwx comments on how he's never met a woman as irritable as m-yu, and how she punished him for trifles all the time

then he laughs bashfully and says "my fault, my fault" and bows another 3x bc omg wwx you can't speak ill of the dead, especially not at their shrine

this is a nice moment between them so far, actually. 

it's nice to hear wwx reminisce in a way that's not 100% painful

and the fact that he's sharing these little bits of inconsequential info with lwj, his soulmate, is just very sweet to me

lwj: won't you tell jc?

wwx: idk. at least not yet

lwj: after all, you two are sworn brothers

it's nice of lwj to acknowledge that, without any sort of rancor in his tone, considering how much he does not care for jc (to put it mildly)

wwx: since the misunderstanding between us is so deep, it's not that easy to solve

HE SOUNDS SO RESIGNED, AND THE LITTLE SMILE THAT FLASHED BRIEFLY THERE WAS JUST SO SAD

and then he's like, besides, I created Plot Device 2, regardless of whether or not jgy ended up using it to make Plot Device 3

UH OH, HERE COMES JC

jc: wei wuxian

OH GOD, CAN HE PACK ANY MORE BITTERNESS AND VENOM INTO THAT NAME??

wwx stands immediately when he hears jc call, he doesn't look at him tho

lwj stands a beat after as jc enters the shrine

jc: you still take yourself as one of the jiang clan? come and go at any time you like, then bring people here when you wish. Do you remember whose house this is? who's the owner?

YIKES

THAT ONE HURT.

and wwx just takes it

wwx: i didnt take hanguang jun to any confidential places in Lotus Pier. i just brought him here to offer some incense to clan leader jiang and madam yu.

he's so submissive here and not even in a fun way

it’s in his posture and tone of voice, even in how he still doesn't look directly at jc...it makes me sad

wwx: we're leaving

He tries to retreat bc he def doesn't want this this confrontation to happen 

jc: you really should kneel down to them, for coming to their presence to destroy the view and ruin their quiet.

DOUBLE YIKES. 

that one hurt EVEN MORE

and lwj, who had been following wwx's lead and staying quiet, intervenes

lwj: clan leader jiang, pay attention to your words

oh boy if looks could kill, jc would be dead as a doornail

he's like HURT MY SOULMATE AGAIN, I DARE YOU. JUST GIVE ME A REASON AND I WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN

which is pretty gutsy since jc is higher ranked than him, technically, as clan leader. 

AND they're both in jc's domain rn!

jc: what did you say? i think someone else needs to watch his behavior

he's glaring at wwx's back and he's got a mean twist to his mouth that would be a smile if it weren't so cruel

jc: you have already been kicked out of our family. how dare you enter and face my parents and my sister?

STOP HURTING MY SUNSHINE BOY

wwx is just accepting this. he's just accepting all these cruel things with his eyes downcast and submissive

BC IT HURTS AND HE BELIEVES HE DESERVES IT

lwj: jiang wanyin

HOLY SHIT

lwj fucking HISSED that name

and he took a VERY MENACING step towards jc

MY GUY

MY GUY, YOU CAN'T ATTACK A CLAN LEADER

ESPECIALLY NOT IN HIS OWN HOME

LIKE, I TOTALLY GET WHY YOU'D WANT TO RN, AND, Y'KNOW, I'M NOT THE MOST POLITICALLY SAVVY PERSON AROUND

BUT THIS JUST SEEMS LIKE A BAD IDEA ALL AROUND

thank god wwx is there

wwx stops him, pressing the palm of his hand into lwj's torso (!!!!!)

wwx: lan zhan. lan zhan, let's go

he practically whispers this, head bent down, AGAIN SUPER SUBSERVIENT

but jc is looking for a fight and he's not letting go until he gets one, apparently

jc: go as far as you can. i don't want to see you AWFUL PEOPLE again before my dead family

wwx just halts in his steps.

he had been all prepared to go after taking that tongue lashing that he thinks he's earned, but at that he takes a deep, fortifying breath bc jc crossed a line

he purses his lips a moment before turning to finally face jc head on

wwx: jc, scold me as you like but not the others (aka LWJ)

oooh, but that was the wrong thing to say to jc right now bc jc goes off on a VERY PAINFUL rant

he's like, oh, i should be nice to lwj? don't you remember that MY PARENTS WERE KILLED AND LOTUS PIER FELL bc you just HAD to play hero and save lwj?? and it wasn't enough! you HAD to play hero and SAVE THE WENS too, which killed my sister!!

oh he's getting really mean here

he's like, how generous you are wwx! letting wn wander the entrance of lotus pier and letting lwj offer incense!!

the minute jc started his rant, wwx cast his eyes to the side, again just enduring everything jc is throwing at him

oh but now jc starts in on lwj again

he's like, lwj, the great second jade, ignoring his reputation to side with wwx, your brother and uncle must be so proud

wwx: JIANG WANYIN!

wwx shouts at him

he's shaky and almost panting here.

wwx: apologize this instant.

jc: apologize? why should i? bc i insulted your great friendship?

THIS WHOLE ENCOUNTER IS A SHIT SHOW AND IT HURTS.

wwx just loses it here and grabs jc by the collar of his robes and gives him a shake

wwx: ARE YOU DONE?

and jc is still the little brother, you know, so obvs he does not back down here, he's not intimidated at all

jc: LET'S FIGHT THEN. should i be afraid of you two?

wwx's breath is all shaky and he's trembling and he would've given into jc's demands for a fight anyway but then he sees jyl's nameplate

and he must remember how upset jyl would get every time they fought

ME TOO, JYL, ME TOO. I HATE THIS, I HATE THIS, MAKE IT STOP

so he lets go of jc and stumbles back. he's looking very weak right now AND I’M VERY CONCERNED

lwj, obvs, catches him by the arm when he stumbles

lwj: wei ying

wwx: lan zhan, let's go

lwj agrees and the two of them turn and leave the shrine, lwj still gripping wwx's arm and providing support bc wwx is NOT looking good what’s happening to my sunshine boy, somebody fix this RIGHT NOW

BUT JC IS LIKE A DOG WITH A BONE BC HE JUST STORMS AFTER THEM, HE WANTS HIS FIGHT

he freaking leaps across the little lotus pond and lands before them, blocking off their exit

he starts antagonizing wwx, and he grabs wwx by the collar now, and again, wwx just takes it BUT LWJ DOESN'T

lwj slams his hand around jc's wrist (the one that's grabbing wwx), WRAPPING HIS FINGERS AROUND JC'S ZIDIAN, EVEN

lwj: let him go

holy crap. Stone Cold. LWJ'S STARE IS STONE COLD, AND HE TIGHTENS HIS GRIP ON JC'S WRIST

god damn, if lwj ever looked at me like that, i'd drop to the ground and beg for forgiveness. i'd be scared witless

when jc makes no move to let go of wwx, lwj releases his wrist and hooks his arm under jc's forearm and shoves upward to FINALLY break jc's hold on wwx

wwx stumbles at the force of it and his nose starts to bleed

MY POOR PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY LOOKS SO WEAK AND OUT OF IT!!

lwj looks at him, eyes wide with worry

lwj: wei ying!

even jc looks concerned (i would even say scared, tbh)

wwx reaches up and wipes his nose; he's not steady on his feet AT ALL

wwx: lan zhan, let's go.

lwj: okay

and he immediately starts to leave, practically dragging wwx with him bc wwx is barely able to stand at this point

lol, lwj shoulder checks jc as they walk past him

but jc is a stubborn bastard and brings out zidian and whips at their retreating backs

brief moment here to admire how FREAKING COOL THE ZIDIAN IS OMG,  

*GRABBY HANDS* I WANT ONE OF MY OWN SO SO BAD. 

IT'S A SNAKE BRACELET!! 

THAT TURNS INTO A WHIP!! 

A PURPLE WHIP!!! OF LIGHTNING!!!!!! 

LITERALLY NO ASPECT OF THIS WEAPON IS UN-BADASS

so jc whips purple lightning at them but the hit never lands bc lwj swings his still-sheathed bichen and bats that attack away like nothing

but as he does that, wwx starts to fall

lwj spins around and AUDIBLY GASPS, eyes wide with worry again, as he watches wwx lose consciousness. 

he dives forward and catches his soulmate in his arms and cradles him gently

jc doesn't see this happen and swings right back with another lash but wn swoops in out of nowhere to take the hit instead. 

AND HERE WE'RE GONNA GET THE BIG REVEAL OH GOD I'M NOT READY

jc is all who let you in, how dare you?? and whips wn again

BUT WN WILL NOT STAY DOWN, NO SIR

HE'S GOT STUFF TO SAY AND BY GOD, HE'S GONNA SAY IT

he offers up suibian to jc but jc whips him and sends him flying again

Wn gets right back up goes back to offering the sword to jc, DEMANDING HE UNSHEATHE IT

AND IN A FIT OF FURY JC PULLS AT THE HANDLE AND SUIBIAN COMES FREE

SHOCK, UTTER SHOCK ON HIS AND LWJ'S FACES

(also YIKES jc nearly sliced out wn's eyes with the force of his unsheathing of siubian. he obvs didn't expect anything to come of him pulling at the handle)

GOLDEN CORE TRANSFER REVEAL!!

FLASHBACK to wn's part of the story

we see wn holding an unconscious jc and wq is telling wwx to come out from where he was hiding behind a convenient boulder

and we see wwx give the go ahead to start the golden core transfer

back to the present, jc looks like his whole world is a lie 

bc it kinda is

I'm still kinda mad that wwx never told him anything.

like, i get why he didn't and i sympathize but informed consent in medicine and surgery is kind of a big deal!

and then omg, we got a close up shot of lwj's face

his eyes are wide and shiny and his jaw is dropped open just a bit. HE IS SHAKEN TO THE CORE 

HAHAHA GET IT? THAT THING WWX DOESN’T HAVE ANYMORE?? Oh god i’m sorry that was AWFUL

he turns his gaze back to wwx, who is still resting gently in crook of his arm

i love the camera angle here btw

the scene is at a slant, with the white of bichen's handle, and the white of the flowering tree behind them filling all of the right side of the screen

it makes the dark bundle of wwx and the dark flow of lwj's hair more stark

the slant of it really emphasizes how the whole of lwj's attention is on the man in his arms

And how his whole world is off its axis at this revelation

god lwj is really just letting his whole heart pour out of his eyes as he watches wwx

jc and wn are arguing loudly in the background but lwj makes NO INDICATION of hearing ANY of it

now we get to watch the emotional confrontation between jc and wn

lwj finally looks back at them when wn starts reciting details that no one outside of jc would have known unless they were there themselves

another flashback as wn describes everything in excruciating detail

oh this line gets me every time

wn: the reason you thought it was repaired was because of my sister, the best doctor in the wen clan of qishan, Wen Qing

WN LOVES HIS SISTER SO MUCH. HE WAS SO PROUD OF HER 

AND HE LOST HER. HE DOESN'T HAVE HER ANYMORE

GOD DAMN IT, SHOW, LET THESE BOYS KEEP THEIR SISTERS

and now we go back to lwj, gazing soulfully at wwx and a single tear rolls down his cheek as it really hits him what exactly wwx did, what wwx gave up

wn is going off on jc, like, didn't he ever wonder why wwx never picked up the sword again?

wn looks hardcore here tbh. 

we cut back to lwj, who is now holding bichen tightly, and boy, he's got his jaw clenched so hard.

at least until he looks back down at wwx, and his mouth softens as more tears drip down his face

flashback to when jc first found wwx after the burial mounds, and a series of flashbacks of every time jc brought up wwx's lack of suibian and wwx brushing off his questions

THEY SHOULD'VE JUST TALKED IT OUT, MY GOD, THEY COULD’VE SPARED ME ALL THIS PAIN IF THEY JUST TALKED 

another flashback to that time that jc pushed wwx and wwx fell hard to the ground and jc thought he was just drunk

I AM DONE WITH THESE FLASHBACKS, THX. CAN WE NOT, ANYMORE? IT'S HURTING TOO MUCH

and we also keep getting shots of lwj's face, STREAKED WITH TEARS

HE'S GOT A TEARDROP ON THE TIP OF HIS NOSE

ALL OF THIS IS PAINFUL

PLEASE STOP

oooh, lwj's mouth twists into a firm scowl and he slams bichen on the ground with a loud CLANG

this is too much for him too! he's furious, he's had enough of hearing how wwx suffered for jc

so he scoops up wwx, carrying almost all of his weight, as he walks the both of them outta there

wn leaves suibian with jc and tells him to have anyone else try to unsheathe it if he doesn't believe him

jc doesn't want it. he doesn't want it at all.

he desperately wants it to be untrue

AND I CRY A RIVER FOR MY YUNMENG BROS

WE'RE ON A BOAT NOW

UNCONSCIOUS WWX SPREAD BACK, HELD LOVINGLY IN LWJ'S ARMS

Now we get some lwj & wn bonding time where they discuss a-yuan! (after lwj promises not to tattle on wn to wwx)

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WE'RE GETTING A FLASHBACK FROM LWJ

LWJ IS ENTERING WWX'S LAB CAVE THING, ALONE, FRANTICALLY SEARCHING FOR WWX

lwj: on that day, when the wen clan were captured and killed, i went to the burial mounds to seek wei ying but discovered a-yuan instead

we see him find a-yuan, who is unconscious and clammy. 

lwj immediately drops to his knees beside him and checks his wrist, then presses the back of his hand to a-yuan's forehead

oh, lwj's hand is all roughened with dirt. That’s very striking, for some reason.

he purses his lips making a split-second decision, and scoops a-yuan up 

lwj: he was hiding there for so long that he had a fever and was severely ill

wn figures out that the fever is probs why lsz doesn't remember anything, and hasn’t mentioned wn at all. lwj looks surprised

lwj: didn't you tell him?

wn: about his birth origin? he's happy now. knowing too much about the past and remembering something heavy, would make him less happy than now

HE'S SUCH A GOOD PERSON

WHY DO THE BEST OF THEM HAVE TO SUFFER SO?

lwj: sooner or later, he will know

and wn doesn't deny it. he's like, yeah, sooner or later. just like master wei and jc with the golden core transfer.

at this lwj looks back down at wwx

lwj: is it painful?

the way lwj's throat bobs before he asks tho.

like he's forcing himself to ask, bc he needs to know even if he already suspects the answer. 

He needs to know even tho knowing will hurt. he's steeling himself against the pain already.

wn: what?

lwj: taking out the core, is it painful?

wn: you won't believe me if i say it's not, right?

lwj: i thought wq might have some method

he sounds desperate, hoping against all odds that it didn't hurt wwx as much as he suspects it did

and here wn explains that wq wanted to ease the process, make it less painful, but due to the nature of the procedure, she couldn't use any anesthetics

wn: the one who donates the core has to be awake the whole time

THE WHOLE DAMN TIME

HE HAS TO BE CONSCIOUS TO WATCH IT GET CUT OUT OF HIM AND EXPERIENCE THAT CONNECTION SLOWLY BE SEVERED OTHERWISE IT DOESN'T WORK

HOW MESSED UP IS THAT OMG, HOW MUCH TRAUMA MUST THEY PUT MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY THROUGH

lwj: awake?

HE SOUNDS HOARSE AS HE SAYS THAT

wn: two nights and one day. he has to be awake

MY SUNSHINE BOY, MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY SUFFERED SO MUCH

lwj's lips purse briefly. he's staring at his wei ying

lwj: at the time, what were the chances

wn: fifty percent

lwj looks at wn here with horrified disbelief

lwj: fifty percent?

wn proceeds to explain how wq didn't want to do it but wwx kept insisting that the odds were worth 

AND OH MY GOD LWJ FLASHES BACK TO THEIR FIRST CONFRONTATION AFTER THE BURIAL MOUNDS, WHEN THEY FINALLY FOUND WWX AFTER 3 MONTHS OF SEARCHING

IT HURTS JUST AS MUCH AS THE FIRST TIME AROUND

Wwx must have some sort of sixth sense for knowing when Emotional Discussions are Done, bc he regains consciousness only AFTER wn & lwj finish bonding lol

he sits up, head aching, and pulls himself from lwj's embrace

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY, BC LWJ OBVS DIDN'T MIND HAVING HIM THAT CLOSE

IN FACT even as he helps wwx sit up, you can see his hand trail up wwx's arm, grip loosening and tightening sporadically

He's def trying to prolong contact here, very reluctant to let go of his wei ying

wwx: lan zhan, how did we get out?

lwj: we had a fight

AND ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING

wwx: i knew that jiang cheng wouldn't let me go that easily. so unreasonable.

and then he looks at lwj and hurries to assure him that jc didn't mean all those cutting remarks. that that's just how he gets when he's upset.

lwj looks off to the side, pressing his lips closed bc he couldn't care less about jc or jc's words. THEY MEAN NOTHING TO HIM

wwx covers lwj's hand with his own and very earnestly says: so don't take it seriously

BC HE HASN'T YET REALIZED THAT LWJ DOESN'T ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT JC'S ENTIRE EXISTENCE

lwj doesn't look him in the eye as he's told this, and his lips are still pressed together in a firm line. 

he probably doesn't actually want wwx to realize just how little jc means to him.

wwx notices they're on a boat on a lake now lol

wwx: i often played here with jyl when we were children

AND HERE HE HALLUCINATES HIS PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL KIND AMAZING SISTER JYL

Jyl: a-xian come have some lotus seeds

WWX'S EYES REDDEN WITH TEARS AND HE CALLS OUT FOR HIS SISTER

AND I'M FIGHTING BACK SOBS

WHILE JYL'S SWEET GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS AND JYL SMILES WARMLY AT HER LITTLE BROTHER

wn snaps wwx out of it

ONLY FOR WWX TO FLASHBACK TO JYL CRYING AND SAYING THAT THEY'RE THE CLOSEST THREE IN THE WORLD

WWX LEANS HIS HEAD ON HER KNEE AND SULKS ADORABLY ABOUT HOW HE'S HUNGRY 

AND I WANNA DIE FROM ALL THE FEELINGS I'M HAVING

back on the boat, wwx eyes are still filled with tears and it's awful

wn is all, wwx what's wrong? and wwx shakes it off and just says he's hungry

so he yanks out some lotus pods from the lake and gives one to lwj and one to wn and one for himself

HE'S SMILING NOW, THANK GOD

wwx: it's perfect timing to be here now!

and he's happily tearing into the pod

I LOVE SEEING HIM HAPPY AND SMILING

SUCH LITTLE JOYS AND HE REVELS IN IT

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

HE SHOULD ALWAYS BE HAPPY AND SMILING. 

NOTHING SHOULD EVER BE ALLOWED TO MAKE HIM SAD. NOTHING

lwj: wei ying

wwx: what

lwj: does this lake belong to someone?

LOL, HE GAVE THE POD A SUSPICIOUS LOOK BEFORE ASKING THAT AND HAS NOT TRIED GETTING ANY SEEDS OUT YET

wwx: of course not

HE SAYS IN A COMPLETELY NOT BELIEVABLE WAY

YOU CAN TELL BY HOW HE DOESN'T LOOK LWJ IN THE EYE AS HE RESPONDED AND KEEPS MUNCHING AWAY ON THE SEEDS AS A DISTRACTION

Lwj is watching like, yeah, i’m not buying it.

lwj: i heard that lakes here all have owners.

lolol wwx pauses in his chewing for a second and looks around guiltily for a bit before letting out a nervous laugh

wwx: hanguang jun, you really hear much, don't you? i didn't even know that.

he's looking at him all innocently and LWJ LOOKS BACK STILL NOT BUYING IT LOLOLOL

wwx looks away and then looks back, relenting

wwx: fine. 

HE'S ALL POUTY, IT'S ADORABLE, I LOVE HIM

he sulkily tells wn to get them moving

and sulkily tosses his lotus pod at the bottom of the boat

HE'S JUST HAVING A SULK-FEST RN AND IT'S SUPER CUTE, I'M ENJOYING IT A LOT

wn starts to get the paddles to get the boat going, when lwj suddenly leans over the side of the boat and snaps up a lotus pod

he very seriously offers it to his wei ying, who is watching him wide-eyed and surprised

lwj: only for today  

bc i just found out about your traumatic golden core transfer for your awful ungrateful little brother and i feel horrible that you suffered alone, he doesn’t say

bc i wish i could have done something to help but i couldn't so now i'm gonna steal you a lotus pod bc that's literally all i can do right now, he also doesn’t say

LOL

THE WAY THE CAMERA CUTS TO WN HERE CRACKS ME UP

WN IS JUST PASSIVELY MUNCHING ON A SEED AND WATCHING THAT EXCHANGE HAPPEN WITH HIS BIG BROWN EYES TAKING IT IN, WITH A VAGUE, "HUH, THAT'S INTERESTING" MANNER

wwx looks at the pod and then back at lwj before taking the pod with a nervous laugh

I am convinced that he had WAR-FLASHBACKS to that time drunk!lwj gave him roosters

He’s probably frantically trying to remember if lwj drank ANY alcohol earlier

TRYING TO CALCULATE THE CHANCES OF SOMEONE SLIPPING SOME ALCOHOL TO LWJ BETWEEN THEIR FIGHT WITH JC TO THIS BOAT ESCAPE LOLOLOLOL

he clutches that pod with both hands and gives lwj a pained smile 

The exact pained smile he had when he accepted the roosters that time

LMAO WWX TURNS TO LOOK AT WN, HIS BROWS ALL FURROWED IN CONFUSION LIKE, WN WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING, EXPLAIN WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

but wn just smiles cheerfully at him

cut to the next moment where we see the boat's floor is now littered with a bunch of lotus pods and wwx is happily munching on seeds, all smiley

BUT OF COURSE I'M NOT ALLOWED TO ENJOY HAPPY PEACEFUL MOMENTS EVER

SO A GLOWY GLITTERY MESSENGER BUTTERFLY APPEARS AND LANDS ON LWJ'S OUTSTRETCHED PALM

I mean, wwx giggled happily there for a moment there!!!!! WHY CAN'T THEY LET ME BASK IN THAT FOR ONE MINUTE, GOD.

anyway, the butterfly

wwx: the paper butterfly messenger from the jin clan?

(side note to say that the butterfly messenger is actually very pretty. i like it a lot)

wwx pats lwj on the knee after the butterfly flies away

wwx: what happened? what did it say?

Lwj’s like, jgy is in yunmeng now and my brother hasn’t responded to my message...

wwx: you worry jgy would harm him when desperate?

bc wwx can tell right away when lwj is worried. BC THEY'RE SOULMATES AND THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL

And then bc my sunshine boy is a GENIUS, he remembers the deed jgy had hidden away in the secret chamber, for Yunping City in Yunmeng

he excitedly tells lwj that this is where jgy will be

lol he was so excited he tipped himself over a bit and jostled the boat so lwj had to reach out to steady him

we cut to the next scene we see people dying fabrics and our boys wander through 

Wwx confirms with some random worker lady that they’re in the right place and tells lwj they should explore the city as a date for Plot Investigation Reasons

lwj nods in agreement and then wwx turns back to look at the lady and gives her THE SWEETEST SMILE, THE ONE THAT SQUINCHES HIS EYES CLOSED AND MAKES ME SWOON

BUT LOL LWJ SEES HIM SMILE AT THE LADY LIKE THAT AND IT NOT AMUSED BY IT AT ALL

oh god, just the way his eyes flick from wwx to the lady and how his lips firm up before he stalks off in a snit cracks me up

GREEN IS NOT YOUR COLOR, LAN ZHAN, I'M JUST SAYING

LET THE GUY SMILE AT ME, I MEAN AT PEOPLE. IT'S NOT A CRIME

wwx is confused by the reaction but hurries off after him

oh wwx, you dense idiot. you're lucky i love you so

now we see come random guys bully wn for no reason 😞

wwx tells them to back off but they don't listen and lwj very nonchalantly pulls out a talisman from his sleeve and offers it to wwx

wwx looks at the talisman and then back at lwj with SUCH A PLEASED SMILE

OMG I WOULD DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING FOR HIM TO SMILE AT ME LIKE THAT

wwx: lan zhan, you even kept it until now?

AHHHHHH SO CUTE, I LOVE HIM

lwj doesn't respond but it doesn’t matter bc wwx does that squinchy-eyed smile AGAIN AND I DIE, I DIE

wwx activates the talisman which releases a whole bunch of glittery butterflies that distract the guys and allow wn to escape. 

omg guys, this is the same trick lwj used to distract wen chao and wen zhuliu to escape ages and ages ago WHICH MEANS LWJ HAS BEEN CARRYING A PIECE OF WWX WITH HIM ALL THESE YEARS AHHHHHHHHH

And after that wonderful, touching revelation, the episode ends.

SO, we had lots of depressing Yunmeng Bros Feelings that made me wanna die 

BUT we also at the end here get rewarded with MULTIPLE squinchy-eyed smiles from my most precious darling sunshine boy that made me wanna die but, like, in a good way

I WOULD ENDURE SO MUCH MORE FOR THOSE SMILE, NGL

Return to Masterpost

[et-lesailes]

one touch

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 1700

prompt: “Hello! Can you pretty please write a one shot with Steve rogers where the reader has an issue with human contact (nothing specific has happened) & is touch deprived & Steve is very understanding and soft with her until she trust him & eventually falls asleep on the couch on him and theres a lot of fluff &soft kisses?? Thank you so much!!!”

themes: fluff, romance, mentions of anxiety

taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaideraid, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers

note: requested by anonymous // was way too tired n lazy to make a proper graphic so accept this pls. now that i’m actually back into using photoshop tho imma start trying to create (very average) graphics for all of my stories lmao.

While being on the run with Captain America seemed like it would be intense and full of drama and surprises, it was a fairly isolated and sometimes even melancholy experience. Ever since Steve’s fight with Tony leading to the breakup of the Avengers, you had dutifully sided with Steve on his nomadic journey. You had started out as his right-hand, and that was how your story would end, whenever that day may be. 

Based on all of this, it would make sense to have 100% trust in him. He was your captain and you practically followed him into the jaws of death when it came to your missions and battles. You could trust that he would never leave you behind and that he would always have a plan. But this trust was apparently only on the battlefield. When Steve had tried to kiss you in the tiny, remote apartment the two of you now shared in the middle of nowhere, you immediately flinched. You felt even worse seeing the guilt upon his features, as if he had done something wrong. No, this was all on you and your terribly aloof nature, the side of you that held you back from maintaining close, personal relationships with anyone else.

It was only a matter of time before this happened. Even during the Avengers days, you and Steve had been inseparable. Everyone on the team had predicted the two of you would end up together, they had even made bets on it. Yet still, the two of you had not even shared one hug. He probably had not thought much of it. Why would he? He probably thought you were a normal human being who wouldn’t have such issues with physical touch, you thought bitterly.

“I’m so sorry,” he had apologized the second you stepped back, looking disappointed and ashamed at the same time. “I just-- I thought… that maybe we…”

“N-no, it’s not that.” You quickly cut him off, shaking your head. You knew what he was going to say, and he was right. You had felt something between the two of you for a while now, but it had escalated during the time you shared together alone, living together and doing what you could to help the people around you. “I just… I need time. I’m sorry.” He had nodded his head immediately, taking a step back himself. “Of course. I don’t want to rush this at all, Y/N. I know how I feel for you and it makes me happy in itself that something could happen between us one day. So take as much time as you need. Okay?”

As usual, he had been his perfect, gentlemanly self ever since. He was patient. If he sensed discomfort even from the mere proximity between your bodies on the couch, he scooted aside. When he saw your body stiffen upon a stranger placing his hand on your back to get by you in a crowded street, he walked close to you to make sure no one else came near you, while maintaining an appropriate distance himself. Somehow, without you even having to say anything, he understood that it was difficult for you to act upon the urge of physical touch, or to even receive it. 

And yet you definitely felt those urges, despite your anxiety about it. You couldn’t even count the nights you had dreaming about curling up close to Steve’s side, or even thinking of small actions like him squeezing your hand tight as a gesture of comfort or casually placing an arm around your shoulders while watching a movie. When his fingers brushed against your own on accident when he took your empty glass to place in the sink, you felt electricity. You were starting to become more and more frustrated with yourself. If you wanted it so bad, why wasn’t your mind letting you go through with it? You could envision a perfect fantasy of the two of you sharing a passionate, romantic kiss, and yet when he had tried to make that fantasy come to life you had acted as though he were trying to poison you. 

It took time, but it got better. Soon, you were scooting closer to him on the couch, experimenting with the mere feeling of your thighs touching his. It seemed insignificant, but for you, it was a big step. From there, letting him hold your hand for a few moments every now and then. Whether it be while watching something on TV, while the two of you were reading, or even while he was driving. His touches were becoming almost addictive despite how fleeting they were. You loved how large his hands were in comparison to your own and you wished you had the courage to reach out for them yourself. Instead of having anxiety about him touching you at all, you were anxious waiting for him to touch you; you were starting to crave it and yet you could not find the strength to tell him that. 

Then came one day he wanted to watch a movie with you. You gladly obliged, heart racing like a schoolgirl with a crush when he sat down close to you, one hand holding a freshly hot microwavable bag of popcorn and the other managing to hold two cans of Coke. Your eyes may have been on the screen, but you weren’t watching. No, all you could think about was Steve sitting inches away from you, how secure you would feel under one of those bulging, muscular arms, the warmth of his lips against yours….

‘For God’s sake, Y/N, you could make a move. He’s made it clear that he likes you, he wouldn’t reject you.’ However, it wasn’t rejection you were afraid of. It was that damn anxiety that came with physical contact, and yet your body wanted to keep reminding you how deprived you were of it. What was up with that? You tried to push all of your thoughts away, doing your best to actually watch the movie; you felt bad seeing Steve so invested while you were here driving yourself crazy. 

And then you ended up falling asleep, which was arguably worse. 

However, when you woke up, you were shocked to find your head laying on Steve’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around you and his fingers grazing across your back. Upon carefully tilting your head up, you saw that his own eyes were closed, his blond head tilted towards you in as much of a resting position as he could get in. Your eyes flickered to the black screen, wondering how long the movie had been finished for-- had Steve stayed in this semi uncomfortable position just for you? You looked back up towards him, your heart skipping a beat. Everything about this felt so perfect, so warm… 

He suddenly opened his eyes, blinking before looking down at you. “Oh,” he mumbled as he began to adjust himself, lifting his arm. “I didn’t mean-”

You cut him off, suddenly taking a light hold of his face as you leaned in and kissed him, deciding in one split second to overcome all of your biggest fears. Not even five seconds in and you were already convinced this decision was the best one you had ever made. He was clearly surprised but certainly not complaining; one large hand framed the side of your face as he moved his lips perfectly against yours, turning to face you more properly and pull you closer to his body. 

You pulled back after a few moments but kept your face close to his, looking up into his blue eyes. He searched your own hues, a smile slowly crossing his lips. “I… wasn’t expecting that, but I can’t say I’m not in heaven right now,” he told you in his handsome low voice, and you couldn’t help but giggle. “I don’t want to keep being scared with you,” you whispered, biting your lip as you slowly lifted your hand to experiment playing with his short blond hair. You weren’t used to casual touches like this, but you wanted to be. “I know you’re not the problem. It’s just me and all this weird anxiety, I don’t even know why I feel this way. But… I don’t want to let it win.”

He smiled widely and gently moved in to kiss your cheek. “We can still take it as slow as you’d like, sweetheart. No rush, no pressure. You’re worth waiting for, Y/N, and besides, a relationship shouldn’t be all about the physical stuff. There’s so much more.” You smiled, touched that he seemed to understand so well. You allowed yourself to lean into his body, a little blissful sigh even escaping your lips upon feeling his arm wrap securely around you. You had expected it to feel awkward, but instead it was as if you fit perfectly into his frame, the two of you as comfortable together as ever. He lowered his head to press a kiss to your hair, mumbling, “Thank you for opening yourself up to me, Y/N. That means more than you’ll ever know.” 

You didn’t even need the TV on anymore. You spent the next hour or so cuddling and talking, going into deep conversations about your past and your personal experiences. His arm remained around you, sometimes his other one joining to give you a loving squeeze at random times, his lips occasionally pressing upon your forehead, nose, and lips. It felt so easy, so right-- why had you been so scared before? You hadn’t even noticed that the two of you had started moving your bodies lower and lower until you were fully lying down on the couch together, bodies pressed close and faces inches apart. You couldn’t help but kiss him again, excited with your new ability to take initiative, but appreciative that he remained gentle and loving with his kisses instead of attempting to take it even further. 

It wasn’t long before the two of you eventually drifted off to sleep once again, legs intertwined due to the small space and chests lightly heaving in peaceful breaths. You had a feeling you’d be sleeping with the same peace and content for a while from now on.

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Long Time, No See: a Sherlock x OC Fanfic. My reaction after two years.

This story has spoilers for this fanfic, if you would like to read it before hand here is the link:

Long Time, No See

Masterlist

Each paragraph is a chapter.

Did I recycle names because I really did like the name Samara and didn't think it was getting enough love? Yes, I did. This is the prologue, explaining Sherlock and Samara's past together up until she leaves, moving in with her father and her 'half-brother' who just happens to be the evil James Moriarty. Then there is a cameo at the end by A.G.R.A.

This is creepy tbh. She was protecting him. So her father ended up being abusive, and to run away from it all she faked her death. Legally her last name is now Moriarty but she prefers Finley. It's always nice when you even surprise Mycroft. She's Queenie, best hacker in the world.

John trying to make small talk with Samara well she is making a firewall for the British government. John and Sherlock after finding out her sleep schedule is forcing her to go to bed. Sherlock admitted to John about being in love with her. I love Sherlock and Samara's dynamic.

A severed head in the fridge. When the blog Sherlock doesn't like is also the reason is his best friend is back with him after she read the last name, Moriarty. Sam coming to Sherlock's defense when coming to him deleting the solar system from his mind palace. She is so not bother by the fact there was a piece of glass in her face. Sherlock and Mycroft's sibling rilvarly tho. Scotland Yard is shaking at the idea of two Sherlocks.

A game of war. Moriarty. Carl Powers, their first case. Time to finish what they started. She got into the system. Botox. Her father run an insurance fraud ring.

It's time for war. He knows something she doesn't. She says she's more powerful than Mycroft and tbh she's not wrong. Moriarty isn't wrong tho. Hacking is her drug... Samara has a few ideas.

Yeah, Sherlock is going to ask about that later. That was a quick case. And a small bit of the truth comes out. Connie Prince.

Sherlock and Sam are freaking out Lestrade and it's perfect. Everyone who knows Sherlock always has the same questions for Sam. She defused that tension quickly. Sherlock has been almost killed a lot, if it hadn't been for Sam he and Mycoft would probably be dead.

This chapter just shows everyone how much pull she has any underground community. The way even the golem owes her favors and is on a nickname basis with him. The Van Buren supernova. She is going to kill her brother.

I do agree, it's time to fulfill that promise. King Midas just warned Sam about what her brother is planning. They are full siblings not just half siblings. This scene right here, proves even more to Sherlock how deep she is in the community how powerful she is that not even the assassins no matter how much they are being paid they will be loyal to Queenie.

Sherlock was wondering if her and King Midas ever dated and she was like sweetie he's gay. To which he let out a sigh of relief. She is going to the Buckingham palace in workout clothes at least it's not a sheet. All Hail John Watson, the king is sass. Samara, the bisexual icon. Irene Adler is her ex girlfriend.

Samara just saying she should have just broke it and it would have been less chit chat. She really does have a death wish, doesn't she? And Irene knows it too and annoyed with it. I forgot I made her an ex-sex addict.

She picked pocketed Sam's phone. When Sam uses Sherlock's actual first name, William. Then threatens to call his mother if he doesn't apologize. Irene Adler is dead.

Sherlock's worried about Sam. Sam fell in love with Irene, that was her mistake. She cut her brother's toe off with gardening shears. Sherlock doesn't know if he loves Sam. Never mind he does. Sam knows Irene is not dead. Sam had a rag of chloroform in her pocket, that's a little concerning tbh.

They started dating, Sam and Sherlock did. The tortured Soul reference though. If you don't know tortured soul is my Harry Potter fanfic and Athens is main character. When her brother calls her and says their parents wear assassinated. Irene Adler was sleeping in Sherlock's room. Irene pissed off Sam so she went to the gym and went Sherlock followed her he scared the shit out of her and she pinned him down.

Samara insulting Mycroft. Sam is pissed that Irene she's not even using her name she just saying Miss Adler. And Irene's just in shock everyone's in shock about how mad she is. Irene was under the command of James, her brother when she was with her. Irene admitted that she loved her but Samara said that she just realized that she never loved her and that she was a fill-in for Sherlock.

Irene Adler is dead. Her brother is calling her. She just has to go to the house to pick up some old photos of her and Sherlock that she hid underneath the floorboards. The moment she sees her brother she slaps him and don't blame her though. They're going to burn down the house that they were abused in because FUCK their father. And she is trying not to have a sibling bonding moment. And he just said shut up and listen. James was the one to put the hit out on them.

Sherlock planned romantic evening for him and Sam. So she gets a text from the American White House and then from her brother. She was a witness against her brother. Sherlock's in contempt for showing off.

James was found not guilty. Sam calling him out on his bullshit about the computer code. She is the queen of all hackers she would know if that code existed it doesn't. Assassins that Sam don't know are moving in around her and she doesn't like it. Penelope Garcia. So fun fact, there were two shows that I was debating for her to go to during the time Sherlock was in hiding taking down morarities web and one of them was NCIS LA and the one I actually went for was criminal minds cuz I thought about NCIS LA because of the fact I could explore her disguises and undercover identities but I decided with criminal minds and the FBI BAU because I just thought it would be better for her.

She just said his real first name again, he's in trouble. Breadcrumbs. The American President is offering her to work for the FBI for two year and then she'll be pardoned in America.

During the raid on Adlestone someone Chloroformed Samara and cut her wrists. She woke up in the hospital and she walked out of there. Just to see her brother's face in a cab. When Sherlock asked Sam if she 100 percent sure positive that she believes in him. I love that she just look at him and goes "Bloody hell, I am. You've been doing this longer than you have known me, Sherlock. Of course, I am sure." And I love that.

That's a good point. Does it count if they don't say his actual first name? She really just jumped out the window, didn't she? (Kitty Riley)-They won't hurt you infront of witnesses, Richard. (Samara)-Bet (Sherlock and John)- Sam no!| When she has her brother birth certificate to prove his existince. He just realized the fall wasn't a metaphor for anything. Sam just told Mycoft the key code isn't real and just realized how much he fucked up.

Sam knows something is up with Sherlock. He's on the rooftop. Sherlock is dead. Sherlock told her to accept the offer so she did. Greg is a good friend.

Hello FBI BAU. Penelope Garcia, her old friend. Fun facts, she's the one who taught Garcia how to hack, well at least in the store she did. She started deducing them already. Irene Adler. The team doesn't know she faked her death for a period of time. CIA agent Nielsen. The assassin after is the golem and the reason Irene went after her specifically is so she could get the golem off her back. And James may have a twin Richard Brooke.

Why wouldn't you do an autopsy on the criminal that almost beat Sherlock Holmes. She got her to give up the flash drive though. She just found out Sherlock saved Irene.

Sherlock os back from the dead. When they got to her apartment they has sex. Her last night in the US she played the piano for the team.

She is back in London. The people waiting for her at the airport is Sherlock, John and an old face she hasn't seen in a long time, Rose. But she's introduced as Mary. It's weird to see Sherlock flirt. Before he's so Samara at the FBI field office he didn't deduce anyone because he was so focused on seeing Sam again. They both just said no to a case. Sam was like not till Sherlock's done eating. Then Sherlock was like come back tomorrow we have plans today. They had a cute date night.

Samara and Mary AKA Rose are meeting for lunch. A.G.R.A. Sam just found out the whole team's dead. And she's Mary's maid of honor. Mary and John are taking bets on a Samara going to propose to Sherlock or is Sherlock going to propose to Samara. Telegrams. Sherlock's emotional part to his speech. Now to the funny stories. Samara really nailed it on the dot didn't she?

The major was stabbed and locked himself in his room. Sam and Sherlock are talking about their future.

A month after the wedding, Sherlock is found in a drug house. She walks into the hospital saying his full name, William Sherlock Scott Holmes. Charles Augustus Magnussen. I love Mycroft calling Samara out saying stop with that look and then her saying what luck and then him replying the look that says I know something you don't because it's connected to my past but I'm not going to reveal the until it's time. Her brother would be jealous of how Sherlock describes this criminal. Time for Samara to act like Queenie. He threatens Sherlock, she threatens his sister and his niece.

Charles is scared of Queenie. Sherlock just got shot by Mary. Samara ripped into Mary for for shooting her best friend. Sherlock knows that if Mary kills him Sam will kill Mary.

Sam admitted to being a big part of the lie. Sam explained that she is the reason Mary got in to his office. When Sam threatens every single assassin that if they even touch a member of the Holmes family they will be tortured. Then Sam admits psycho runs in the family. Sherlock just killed Charles Magnussen. Before getting on the plane, Sherlock asked Sam to move on from him. Then countrywide video of her brother saying did you miss me.

Mycroft pulled Sherlock from The deadly mission. Samara told John about Irene Adler while she was in America and Richard Brooke. Sam and Sherlock are going to be godparents. Sam just put Sherlock's phone in her bra to get him to stop texting. And they babysit baby Watson it's adorable. The Charlie Welsborough case. And something just caught Sherlock's attention.

Time for her to go to a payphone. On the other line was Ajay, cleaning Rose betrayed them. She's going to go talk to Rose. Sam had Mary tell her exactly how it played out. Now she has to talk to Ajay again.

John replaced himself with a balloon I always find that bit funny. I always find this episode funny because he goes on to lie to the sky saying that his wife's a spot and she's working for James and the just to find out she willing left him. I feel like it's all so proof that Sherlock Holmes has a sense of humor. Sherlock now knows that the bust breaking has something to do with A.G.R.A. Why is Garcia's ex calling her? He's warning her, saying she's in danger. James is alive. Her brother is alive.

Sherlock knows he's alive now, and so does Mary and John. Sherlock just found out A.G.R.A. is an organization of multiple people not just Mary's initials. He asked her to go back to the flat. Penelope Garcia now knows that Sam's brother had her ex-boyfriend at gunpoint. And Garcia just told Sam that Irene Adler is dead. Morocco. Mary forgot that Sam put tracking devices in the USBs. Queenie was A.G.R.A.s biggest secret. John just said Sam's main priority is keeping Sherlock alive. Sam is like a mother and she would be an awesome mother. Cuz she just made Ajay in the middle of pointing a gun at Mary made him give it up and threatened to smack him in the backside of the head.

Old habits die hard? I forgot I wrote that part. They really didn't think she was going to investigate Ammo? To the aquarium we go. Queenie is considered a reliable killer. Sam just pushed Sherlock out of the way of a bullet, hitting her. However, she's laughing because her jacket is made out of Kevlar. Sherlock still me to go to the hospital though.

Sherlock is going to propose. Sam suspect something and it's driving her crazy. She said yes.

She's telling her team that was back in America and about her brother they seem to be happy about the marriage but concerned about James. John convinced them to at least have a small wedding.

Sherlock was in a coma.That's my filling for the culverton Smith episode. Sherlock's secret sister. She hacked the British government to find out where Sherlock's sister was being held. The motion sensor bomb drone.

They broke into the facility, Sherlock didn't want Samara to go but Samara didn't give him a choice. Mycroft and Sam have such a brother sister relationship. And the facility has been compromised. The little girl in the plane. James praised her hacking skill to Sherlock's sister. And we are left on that scene where John's about to kill the governor.

John couldn't do it and hand it off to Sam. Sam took it without hesitation, apologized then shot him. The three are shook. Back to little girl. Sam has had enough of Mycroft's sass. Back to little girl after going into a room with only a computer. Oh shit Sam's pregnant.

Sam was knocked out before she got into the other room. And woke up in a different room without anyone else in there, well except her brother and Sebastian Moran. And Sebastian turns out to be an old fling. After her brother left, she was tortured and then knocked out. She woke up in the hospital. Samara had a miscarriage. Which led to a serious talk about them having kids in the future.

It's time for the wedding chapter. Her maid of honor is Mary. Her bridesmaids are Garcia and JJ. Sherlock's best man is John. His groomsman are Greg and his brother. Right now she's picking everyone up from the airport. The team is finding out about Sherlock's secret sister and that she was pregnant and then had a miscarriage. The vows are so sweet, they're officially married now.

He is so sweet. Sherlock can't cook and I find that funny. James has made an appearance in the flat. Lestrade came with a case. The bodies said "For Queenie" on them and you didn't want to tell Queenie.

She's confronting her crazy fan. He revealed the Oracle is alive. Oracle is the first person she ever killed it was in self-defense, but still. She's going to attempt to recruit her brother to keep on her side. James agreed to be on her side.

Samara is pregnant again. Sherlock is shook but happy. Mycroft has decided that the child will be spoiled. Greg has a thing for Mycroft. And James just found that she's pregnant.

The first ultrasound. The person claiming to be the oracle, his daughter. She didn't know how bad of a person her father was, harming 38 women.

The final chapter, it's a girl. Sacora Faith Holmes. I remember when I came up with that name for the kid, I was actually and study hall of my junior year of high school and I had everything planned out for the story in a notebook and that's what I would do during study hall. She has blue eyes. Her first word was crime scene. In the end Rosie and Sacora end up dating.

Overall, it is probably one of my better stories. I do notice in these stories I did forget to put a trigger warning. So my final rating is 9/10, took a point out for missing a trigger warning.

[modernsocialmediaau]

miss movin’ on

February 27, 2015

It's the first official day of the Reflection Tour. It's been a month since they've started rehearsals and yet the girls still very unprepared. The pressure is truly on, this isn't another tour of opening for something up, instead its their first headlining tour. Moment before the meet and greet the girls are in their own universes doing whatever helps them calm down. Normani, Ally and Lauren are just leaving catering and heading to the meet and greet. Dinah has the fun job of finding Camila to take her to the meet and greet. Dinah isn't surprise to find the shorter girl fixing her to be sure she looks good.

" Girl you ready? " Dinah asks while Camila fixes her hair. Camila feels weird having it parted on the left or right, seeing that it's usually in the middle. While she fixes her hair Dinah repeatedly taps her foot outside the door louder and louder to get Camila's attention. She does get her attention but she gets a giggle.

" In a second, this doesn't just happened you know, " Camila jokes, walking out of the dressing room following Dinah to the meet and greet.

" Girl whatchu talkin about we got a whole team dedicated to help us with all......this. " she says making a circle around her face, and lightly tapping her chin indicating the perfection that is her hair and face.

" Hush up. " Camila giggles linking their forearms together trying to catch up to the other girls.

Camila still hasn't gotten use to the idea of screaming fans and adoring gifts, being a former fan girl she sympathizes with the fans.

" CAMILA! CAMILA! CAMILA! " some girls shout and she smile and waves at them

The girls start with a couple of acoustic performances, a few questions and then onto meet and greets. Their first fan is a girl named Emily who greets them in tears. She goes into Camilas arms for a hug and Camila being the sweetheart that she is, couldn't have been happier to squeeze her with love.

" O-my hands are shaking. " Emily said as she laughs hysterically not fully grasping the situation unfolding in front of her.

" It's alright we'll shake along with you, " Camila jokes and starts shaking while the other girls follow

" I love you so much, " she cries into her arms as they give her one of the warmest group hugs

" Oh we love you, " they surprisingly respond in unison.

" So what would like us to do babes? " Lauren asks smilingly wrapping her arm around Emily, making her almost faint. Anyone can tell she is weak in the knees. Lauren always has that affect on people.

" Can we pretend to make it rain? " she laughs at herself,

" With what tho? " Dinah asks

" Oh-uhm-I already prepared this. " she takes out fake money and shreds of green paper, " Ay! " we all cheer.

" Yes! Girl you are ready!! " Mani cheers as she evenly hands out the slips of paper or fake money

" We didn't choose the thug life the thug life choose us. " Camila says earning weird looks from Ally, Normani, and Dinah while Lauren and Emily laugh

" Ready 1,2,3 " the photographer and onto the next fans.

About 30 minutes within the meet and greet, Camila decides to act cute by holding Lauren's hands and let one of her legs pop out. As soon as that shutter clicks the screams got louder, a few aw's, and they start screaming a name everyone recognizes.

" CAMREN! CAMREN! CAMREN! " they continue to cheer after the two girls left Camila whispers to Lauren, " Camren? " Camila hasn't thought about this in a while, she simply can't remember. Lauren shifts uneasily away from Camila, which the younger found odd.

Camila looks at the others girls, Dinah gives her an I-got-no-clue, Ally gives her a sorry-I-don't-know-either, and Normani gives her nothing it's like she didn't hear the younger girl. Ever since the unspoken incident between the two girls, the other girls have tried to ignore it as much as Lauren and Camila have.

" Lauren? " Camila asks snapping her out of her thoughts

" Sorry Cam-Camila, " she stutters,

~~~

After the meet and greet Camila takes it upon herself to search up Camren. She knows its a ship name but who's... While the hairdresser fixes her hair she investigates on her phone. They're were Tumblr tags,

This memory has been so repressed that she forgot all about her crush on Lauren back in the old days.

Oh right.

Now she remembers, Camren. That same name that gave her hope, Camren. That idea of Lauren actually finally saying she loved her back, Camren. At the same time, the same lie that tore her down every single day of her life until she realized. Camren wasn't and will never be real.

" Lauren! " Camila says catching her attention. The older woman looks up from her phone and gives her a surprise look.

" Look, " she hands her the phone and watches as Lauren scrolls through the tag. Lauren knows this feeling all too well, after Camila's cold shoulder she often would look through this tag to remember how fun they were together.

" Weren't we cute? " Camila jokes trying to lightly tread over the subject. Seeing that Camren has been rather cruel to both of them.

For Camila, In the beginning it was hell because, she was in love with the green eyed girl, but she didn't know how to approach such a sensitive topic. And of course the fans started to notice which scared her even more, to the point where she stopped, because she feared of the delusional confrontation that Lauren might've come with if they'd kept going.

" Super " she says boringly. They both use to love the idea of their friendship, because it was just such a rare experience but, not now.

" Right, no wonder they were screaming that, " Camila laughs at herself while Lauren simply agrees, still holding something back,

" Are you okay? " Camila wonders

" Yea. " she fakes a smile

" You're a horrible liar, Are you sure? " Camila turn to her making the hairdresser a little annoyed. Camila apologizes and turns back around while still giving Lauren full eye contact through the mirror. Camila knows, she has no right talking to her as if icing her out never happened but that was the only way to get over her. The only way for her to move on, and the idea of her knowing that there was even a " her " to move on from, is unbearable for Camila.

" Yeah Camila, just tired you know, " Lauren fakes,

" It's the first day of tour, " Camila say making her lightly chuckle, taking themselves by surprise. Camila hasn't really heard her laugh or chuckle like that in a while.

" Well you know me, working hard or hardly working, " that was the last thing Lauren says before leaving hair and make up.

Camila simply nods trying to understand that they can no longer talk to each other how they use too.

As Lauren is walking out of the room, she feels anxiety coming on. She knows she's got to find Normani, she walks pass 5 dressing rooms 3 different hallways until she finally she's the tall dark skin goddess that is Normani.

" Normani! " Lauren screams making her jump and look at her worriedly

" What? Whats wrong? " she says while as they held each other's forearm dramatically

" Camila, she's-talking to me? " Lauren mutters, Lauren knows how crazy that sounds but the reason for this anxiety is that  last time this happened things went too far. For one thing Lauren almost lost her mind trying to get answers as to what she did to Camila, making her ignore Lauren. Secondly, Lauren almost told her she loved her. Still love.

" Oh. " her eyes popped open and began to worry along with the raven hair girl. Normani's has been Lauren's rock through this whole experience she knows every single thing that has happened.

•••

" Alright girls can we run it from the top for Better Together? Make sure you're in sync and one with each other. " Sean snapped at the girls trying to bring them back. They were  in the middle of rehearsing and putting together their opening act for Demi's Neon Lights Tour. Not only that, 2 weeks from now the tour starts and so does finishing their first official album, so everything is pretty hectic.

" Lauren? " Normani clapped getting her attention, Lauren was the only one left seeing that the rest of the girls were in their position. Lauren released a small huff and weak smile before running to her spot. She watched Normani give me a questioning smile, and Lauren just shook it off and got her head in the choreo.

After rehearsals the girls were cleaning up, seeing that Lauren didn't usually make a mess of things she finished rather quickly so she decided to talk to Camila.

" Hey Camz, " she lightly tapped her shoulder,  Camila quickly shuttered away. Ouch. Lauren thought to herself.

" Hi Lauren, " she says coldly, Lauren shook it off and just continued to smile.

" The Notebook and Chill tonight? " She jokes hoping she'd finally crack a smile at her.

" I-uhhm-I can't--because I've-Uhm-I've got plans. " she struggled to finished.

" Oh, alright. " Lauren sighed almost reaching towards her for a hug goodbye.

" Yeah, maybe next time? " she let out a fake smile before walking away from their short and meaningless conversation. " Sure. " Lauren whispered. Lauren felt the formation of tears come but she doesn't let them out yet, not here not now. She let out a sniffle and quickly gathered the tears on her index finger letting them go, that's when she felt a familiar gesture of comfort. Which was Normani wrapping her arms around her and asking;

" Can you tell me now? I've watched the same thing unfold over 100 times in 3 months, maybe it's good to finally talk about it? "

Seeing the tour started here in LA the girls decided to simply stay until the start of tour. The girls stayed at their usual hotel with our usual sleeping arrangements only this time Normani and Lauren shared a room.

After the release of their EP and promo tour Camila's been so cold, it's like after they got signed they hung out less and less. And even if they did it wasn't for more than 5 hours, Lauren understands that she's got her own life outside of the band but this isn't how it use to be.

And at the mention of our ship name Carmen it's like she's disgusted, which doesn't make sense because they created Camren.

" What's going on Lo? " Mani wondered as they entered our hotel room. Lauren placed her bag down on the floor, and plopped down on her bed faced down. She let out a groan before she felt the tears fell and the song of sobs began.

" Lauren? " Normani questions lifting her shoulder and turning Lauren over, " Okay you're worrying me, please tell me what's wrong? " she then sits Lauren up and pulled her into a really really tight hug.

" Lauren please tell me what's wrong? I gave you space and waited for an explanation for but now I could careless. This isn't you, for the past 3 months I've watched you approach Camila then come back here and mope. Please tell me what's happening. " she practically begged making Lauren cry even more.

" I'll grab you some tissues and water and I'll be right back okay, " she stood up from my bed and walked away to grab what she said she would while Lauren grabbed the pillow behind her. She brought the pillow to her chest and watched Mani come walking back to her with the items.

Lauren used a couple of tissues to clear her nose and drank some water to wet her super dry throat.

" Lauren? " she asked once more. " Camila hates me. " Lauren states making her scoff not believing older girl, but seeing that Lauren started to cry again she knew it was serious.

" Where'd you get that idea? " she rubbed her shoulder and brought Laurens head on her shoulder.

" She won't talk to me, she won't even acknowledge my presence. " Lauren cried into her shoulder, " Shh...shh...that's a bit ridiculously isn't it? I mean you and Mila are like best friends. " she explained trying to convince Lauren other wise.

" Are we? "

•••

" Okay what about? I think we've established your love for her, " Normani jokes trying to lighten the mood

" Camren. She knows! Mani she knows! SHE'S FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT! "Lauren say almost breaking into tears shocking Normani. Her eyes widen and gives Lauren a quick hug before saying

" Hey, hey, hey listen to me let's go on the bus okay, " Normani drags Lauren out as tears began to pour. Normani makes sure that she's one facing the crowd while Lauren hides behind her.

They left the stadium and found their way to the bus, thankfully there was no one there. They walk to the back of the bus since they know that's where they would get the most privacy.

" Tell me what happened? " she asks sitting across from Lauren

" Didn't you hear her question earlier? "Lauren ask hugging my knees to my chest

" Yes, but I tried to act like I didn't hear it, and it hasn't really come up in months specially from her side. So it was weird," she answers

"Yea but now I'm getting flashbacks about those horrible months with her giving me such a cold shoulder. And now it's even worse because it's like she's trying to play some fucked up game. Where she'd gained my trust again, figure out what I'm hiding, then ice me out again because of said secret. " Lauren starts to get louder and paces around the room

" Hold-hol-hol-hol-hold one! Wait a minute! She doesn't actually know? " she interrupts me

" Well-no, " Lauren answers, Normani sighs loudly

" Listen to me honey, maybe she finally realized that what she did was wrong and she's just trying to rekindle your friendship okay. Just don't act suspicious during the subject, " She advised

" But that's what I'm worried about, what if she questions me about it. " I began to sob again. She stood up and walked to my side

" Don't give her a reason to read into it. Okay, don't give them a reason to think my that you know somethin-"

" But I do. " Lauren interrupts

" Yes and only you and I know about that. " she smiles comforting Lauren

" What if she finds out, I can't take another ice cold Camila. I like how everything is and I've accepted it. " Lauren explains while Normani sits sarcastically laughing, Lauren looks at her not getting what was so funny about what is said.

" Are you serious? " she stood back up

" What? "

" You like how everything is? Are you serious? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY ACCEPT SOMETHING SO UNNECESSARY! Listen to me you don't deserve this okay, she should have given you an explanation. I seriously thought that during that last month of Neons Lights Tour everything would be back normal again. I didn't think it could get any worse, never did I ever imagine that she could do it again. Not only that as soon as you almost confessed you love she wave around the idea of her and Austin. It's as if burning you twice wasn't enough for her. I love Mila as much as the next girl but that's not how she should've handle the situation. " she paced while Lauren disappointingly agrees

" I didn't think it would be this bad Mani, I really didn't. It's just a crush. " Lauren sobs

" I know, I know. But you still need to know the truth.This is how Camren should've been handled, not ignored." she caresses Laurens hair comforting the crying girl

" Well I can't tell her! You saw how she acted, about this Mani! " Lauren defends herself

" Alright I see your point? But it's just a crush and you're not a lesbian " Normani says

" Who isn't a lesbian? "Camila walks into the back scaring Mani and Lauren

" Uh, Rebel Wilson " Mani quickly answers, trying to cover Camila from seeing a post cry Lauren. Lauren quickly wipes her eyes and fans her face.

" Oh that's a bummer, " she smiles

" Hey are you okay? " she asks popping her head to the side to look past Mani. Mani moves to the side and looks at Lauren with an act-normal look before she exits to the bunks

" Yea just really nervous, " Lauren say caressing my hands

" Why? You've performed so many times before? " she laughs and sits down next to Lauren. Lauren shifts a little more to the left to get some space between them, but that only made Camila come closer.

Come on Lauren! Act normal! She thought to herself.

" Well it's our first official tour where it's just us, you know, " Lauren says looking at her

Lauren has seen a lot in her small life but nothing is as beautiful as Camilas. She found them to be so simple and cute that she could stare at them all day. Some might say that brown is plain and boring but not hers it's like every time Lauren look in them she can see all the amazing things she can do. Lauren's mom always said if you ever fall in love with somebody don't fall for their looks but fall for their eyes because the eyes are the only thing that lasts forever. They are so mesmerizing, and her hair her perfectly curly light colored hair falling on her shoulder we're just killers. For Lauren If looks could kill, she would be dead.

" Lo? " she surprisingly says, Lauren hasn't heard that in a while " Yea? " Lauren weakly smiles

" I said, it won't matter what happened we're all in this together. " she smiles holding Laurens hand.

" Right, well I have to get my make-up done again, so I'll see you later. " Lauren gets up from the couch and leaves the bus

When step step foot onto the pavement someone grabs her arm and pulls me to the front of the bus.

" Mani what the hell? " Lauren say

" What happened? " she asks eagerly

" Nothing, now seriously I have to get my make up done again. " Lauren plainly answered

She nods her head and they make their way back to their dressing room. This is going to be one long and interesting tour.

A/N Guys I hoped you liked the first chapter please vote and comment I'd love feedback questions anything.

Here are some helpful tips for the future: (•••): Flashback (---): Next Scene (*Words*): Phone Call

[loptgangandi]

so! literally no one asked, but these last 3 weeks have been a hell of a ride let me TELL YOU 

so happy mun-day now you get to hear all about it!! (with pictures, I’m not a monster)

here’s the cliffnotes version: 

december week 1: simultaneously moved back into a place and took classes then moved out of that place while taking classes and planning a 2-day overland trip from sweden to madrid. took said trip. 

december week 2: attended the unfccc climate conference COP25 in madrid, got kicked out for protesting in solidarity with indigenous ppl & kids, got let back into COP the next day & proceeded to go to more panels and also protests. no i did not see greta thunberg but she was there. I did not see harrison ford either. I did shake al gore’s hand tho.

december week 3: week #1 with my mom’s new twin one-eyed cyclops kitties (yes both of them), spent the week frantically writing 2400 words of nonsense that hopefully resolved themselves into two coherent enough papers to snag me a nice grade then took a 36-hour trip up to london to see my sister perform at her bitchin new job.

elaboration under the cut.

Hell Week (or) Why You Sometimes Should Fly to Climate Conferences

So, after the nonsense with The Roommate From Hell (reddit rant here), I moved out of my room at her place and back into the dorms (where I still had a lease through the end of December). That required a fair bit of effort, but I moved things bit by bit over the course of about a week, and it was manageable. 

But I had to be out of the dorms and have the place clean by the time I left for the climate conference, which in itself was a whole lot of coordination. Wednesday the 4th of December was probably among the worst, most frustrating days I have ever had, and I desperately hope I never have to deal with that level of fuck this fuck you fuck me fuck everything for a very, very long time. Somehow -- by some miraculous act of the gods -- I pulled it out, and managed to get my stuff into my friend’s basement, my plants into another friend’s apartment, my bags packed, my room clean as a whistle, my self moved into my hostel, and to every damn class that week. My interrail tickets came the day I planned to leave -- it was a tight fit -- and I managed to book trains and busses from Uppsala to Madrid with half an hour to spare, and get on the first train (Uppsala to Stockholm) in good time.

The next 48 hours went like this:

Stockholm -> Copenhagen (by train): uneventful, but Copenhagen train station on a Friday night is a little dicey, especially when you’re dragging around a 45 lb suitcase and another 15 lbs on your back

Copenhagen -> Hamburg (by overnight FlixBus): Uneventful, and I was sitting by a window with no one sitting next to me, so I was able to doze a bit on the trip. 

Hamburg -> Basel (by high-speed rail): This one I should have booked. The website said that a reservation was recommended, and I understand why. If I’d had a quiet cabin -- or even just a consistent seat for the whole 7-hour journey -- I’d have been able to get a decent night’s sleep. Instead, I kept having to move to give people their reserved seats, and didn’t get more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Basil -> Olten (train): this one was a mistake

Olten -> Brienz (train): where the fuck am I

Brienz -> Lausanne (train): oh right yes that’s the direction I want to go yes good get on that one

Lausanne -> Geneva (train): oh thank fuck, I 100% know where I am and am back on track. Sunglasses & 30 hours without sleep is a Look.

Geneva: Spend 3 hours with my mom, put a week’s worth of clothes into a considerably smaller suitcase, eat dinner. meet mom’s new kittens, Saga and Luna

Geneva -> Lyon (bus): Get confused about which bus to get on, get told off by the bus driver we were trying to convince to let us on his bus, realized mom had been trying to put me on the wrong bus. Get on the right bus. Go to Lyon with bus driver who speaks no French or English, only Spanish.

Lyon -> Barcelona (night bus): Hell. Just. Absolute Hell Bus. Wanted To Die all night. Assigned to aisle seat just before the very back next to a very, very tall man who was quite polite but had no room for his legs. Behind us were two men, one of whom was loudly chewing gum until he took off his shoes and fell asleep, the other of whom snored like a gd bulldozer. Aisle seat and wailing baby a few rows down meant that my chances of sleeping comfortably were 0. I did manage to doze off a bit, but only because I was so strung out from not sleeping the night before. Eventually made it to Barcelona alive and lent my phone to the very nice lady with the wailing baby (plus like 5 other family members, none of whom had cell service). 

Barcelona -> Madrid (train): Absolutely gorgeous train ride through the Spanish countryside that I really did want to stay awake to enjoy. Managed to do so until we got to an elevation where it was just thick, dense fog and I let myself fall asleep. 

Madrid: I arrived at my hostel groggy, dazed, and in pain from two bad nights in a row. I considered a nap, but also considered that I’d need to wake up early the next morning and would need to fall asleep. Opted to try to set up my COP25 blog instead. Failed due to aforementioned grogginess. Walked to the corner to get some food and tried to pay for it with Swedish kronor, which didn’t work. Apologized, explained to the amused man that it had been a long weekend, paid him in Euros instead. Used the hostel’s dry sauna (!!!!), took a shower, and went to bed. 

COP25 - The Old White Fuckening

So, listen, I’m not going to go into detail about COP. If you want to read about how much of a tonedeaf clusterfuck the negotiations were (as opposed to the really interesting, inspiring stuff happening in the side sessions), BBC has some good articles. 

If you want to listen to some of the press conferences and plenaries, here they are. I especially recommend the ones by the Women’s Earth and Climate Caucus, Fridays for Future, and as many of the Indigenous Peoples’ statements as you can (most of them are in Spanish and/or Portuguese. Because the COP was supposed to be held in Chile, many of the registered Indigenous participants were from Amazonas because it was supposed to not be far to travel). 

If you want to listen to some of the side events, the webcasts have been recorded here. Click the link, and then click “Join the event.” I again recommend the ones by Indigenous groups (if you can understand them -- we all had translation headphones in the sessions, but I don’t speak Spanish, so I can’t really go back and revisit them). Also, this "feminist attempt at connecting the dots” on “climate crisis, corporate power, and climate finance” and this one session from a Nigerian NGO and the government about One Health and the connection between climate change, disease, and other health risks -- and how badass Nigeria is at tackling them. 

On the subject of tonedeafness, some absolute bullshit went down on Wednesday, December 11th. 

Here is the article on BBC, but it’s a bit incomplete.

Here’s what happened.

COP25 2: The Old White Fuckeninger (Starring Military Police!)

So on Wednesday, December 11th, Greta Thunberg -- environmental wunderkind with truly glorious bitchface -- sat on a panel before a hall full of condescending adults in which she demanded accountability and immediate action from national leaders. 

At the end of her speech, the delegation of Fridays for Future -- Greta’s own youth movement, which has become a global phenomenon -- stormed the stage. Representatives of Fridays for Future admitted that they knew what they were doing was against the rules, and they were ready to face the consequences: having their admission badges taken away (being “debadged”), and not being blacklisted from future UNFCCC events. 

Neither of these things happened. Instead, UNFCCC praised the young activists, and let them keep their badges. 

A few hours later, another activist group in attendance -- not an Indigenous one, a point that was raised by a young Native American man during the Fridays for Future press conference -- staged a sit-in outside the main hall where a large plenary meeting was scheduled. Said meeting was full of gimmicks, including a live call to the International Space Station so an astronaut could talk about the view of climate change from space. 

I was going to attend the plenary. I joined the protest instead. 

Admittedly, the decision was partly made for me by security. After pushing, shoving, and jostling the (mostly adult, heavily Indigenous, mostly PoC, heavily female, heavily Queer) protesters, as well as violently snatching their badges off their lanyards, security started herding them -- as well as anyone in proximity -- out into the open docking area outside the hall. One woman nearby, who hadn’t meant to join the protest and who had just been filming, tried to duck out of the group and got sternly told by a security guard “No. Keep going forward. No turning back.” A similar thing had happened to me -- I hadn’t made up my mind about joining the protest, because I didn’t have all the information -- but security made the decision, and in the end, I’ll always prefer to be with the people facing the police rather than those they’re protecting. 

It was... furious. It was emotional. The leaders of the protest had us form a circle and turn our backs on security and the door. WoC -- many of whom were Indigenous -- led not just standard protest chants, but songs. Renewal songs, fight songs. The common theme was the intersection of environmental justice and femininity, queerness and suffering under colonization, anti-capitalism, anti-exploitation, and a call for colonizers to repay the colonized for all of the loss and damage already caused by climate change (climate reparations). 

Eventually, UNFCCC made a decision. They decided to close the door on us. Security “escorted” us to the docking bay entrance, and the military police took over. Fortunately, none of them started anything. Obviously, none of the protesters did either. We made it back to the venue entrance eventually, but only those with journalist/media badges were allowed back in; the rest of us were not. Even people with Observer badges (like mine) who hadn’t been part of the protest weren’t being allowed in. But some people who were panelists, delegates, etc. came out to stand in solidarity with us. 

Once it became clear that no more joint actions would be taking place, I went home, and waited to see whether the negotiators would be able to talk UNFCCC into letting us back in. 

They did. Can you imagine the headlines? “UNFCCC Kicks Out Protesters, Bars Civil Society Observers From Climate Talks.” 

Talk about going down like a lead balloon.

Which is about what the conference in general did. I was able to go back and get some more stuff out of it... including another big protest, this time led by Fridays for Future and sanctioned. It was so, so good. Many of the people from Wednesdays protest were also there, and while spirits weren’t exactly high, the emotions being expressed were more along the lines of determination and tenacity than fire and fury. Both are valid, and both have their place, and it was nice to have a balance -- especially at the end of the week, when we were all flat-out exhausted. 

The Aftermath

And then I just didn’t stop moving. Saturday and Sunday I spent exploring Madrid and staying out late, Monday I flew back to Geneva from Madrid (because absolutely fuck Spanish busses and also absolutely FUCK FRANCE’s weeks-long general strike that I’m sure was for something very important. I’m sure. Because France never strikes over trivial things). 

Tuesday-Friday was a takehome exam that I swear to god was more labor-intensive than my actual undergrad thesis, and Saturday-Sunday I flew to London to visit my sister at her new job as an actor in Shrek’s Adventure. Mom was supposed to go with me, but she has a slipped disk and sent me up alone. Which was nice -- my sister and I almost never hang out just the two of us. But that’s another thing I’ve been dealing with -- quite a bit of extra Stuff To Do that Mom Can’t Do because Back Hurty and there have been days when she literally could not move. 

But now I am here! I still have work to do, and it’s holidays so there’s Holiday Stuff happening, but I’m hoping to get back to writing here in the next few days. 

And if you’ve read all of this, you’re fucking incredible and I love u and here are some one-eyed black babie kitty gremlins for ur viewing pleasure.

<-Saga | Luna ->

They’ve got little bare patches on their tummies because bbies gotta be spayed

They got this tower two days ago and have learned to share, but the learning curve was steep

Saga doesn’t like cuddles but she likes pats and being in the vicinity of humans

Saga says hello

Pictured: Luna in my arms, Saga in Proximity

Luna stole my Spot!! >:C

If Saga steals something and then tells u to answer a riddle to get it back pls let me know. she does that sometimes. it’s very naughty.

[amazingmsme]

You’ve seen Umbrella Academy right? Got any headcanons for the siblings? :D

YES I DO! I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH! I'll do headcanons in order of their numbers. Putting it under the cut cause I got carried away & they got longer than expected 

Luther-my big boy-he's always really serious & so the others will try to do everything they can to make him laugh-like it's a game they play & whoever makes him laugh wins-one time Klaus won just by screaming "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" & just fucking decked Diego right in the face. Luther couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes straight-when they would get too loud & their dad was gonna get onto them, he always tried to take the fall-he's a big ol softie-totally cries like a baby when any animal in a movie dies-his favorite food is lasagna. He'll eat the whole pan by himself if no one's watching him, so Grace usually had to make two just in case-his laugh is really loud & booming. Allison likes to tease him that it shakes the whole room-being the "oldest" he likes to pick on all the rest of them, even now when they're all adults -he's the biggest tickle monster ever omg he'll just scoop up anyone that's near & doesn't let them go until he feels like they've had enough-he's ticklish too tho, & if you think his siblings don't take advantage of that you're dead wrong-his underarms are definitely his worst. Whenever he holds something above one of their heads they just dig their fingers in under his arm & it comes crashing down

Diego-the angstiest lad-he would always wrestle with Luther when they were kids & pouted when Luther won-if he gets over excited or emotional his stutter will come back for a few seconds-he played the knife game a lot & one time accidentally stabbed his hand. Five & Klaus laughed their asses off as he cried & Grace had to doctor his hand-he always acts super tough & broody all the time but actually is a pretty sweet dork-he isn't the biggest fan of his laugh so he has a fake chuckle he uses instead. His family are all like "wtf that's not how you sound"-you ever heard Tom Hardy laugh? That's what he sounds like-it's really high pitched & bubbly -it embarrasses him so it takes effort to get him laughing like that, but if they ever want to hear it they just have to squeeze his knee & he falls back in loud laughter-he tries to act like he's not ticklish & will hold out for as long as he can before he gives up-his hips and thighs are the worst & he gets so desperate it's adorable-like he'll be a begging pleading mess after only a few seconds-no lie he pulled a knife on Five when he snuck up on him & squeezed his hips-he gets embarrassed about how ticklish he is & if anyone teases him about it he blushes SO hard

Allison-my cool daughter-she's literally so caring but doesn't always know how best to show it-the Mom Friend-after mending her relationship with Vanya they have sleepovers like once a month-if any of the siblings are sick she makes a big pot of soup-would kill for Claire if need be-the master of hide & seek cause she's played it so much with her daughter-a very teasy ler-she'll wiggle her fingers at you to let you know what's coming before chasing you-100% calls herself the tickle monster-has the sweetest laugh ever-her neck & knees are her sweet spots but her stomach is a close second-will literally screech if you scratch behind her ears

Klaus-the very definition of disaster gay(pan)-either looks like a trash ass hobo or an utter king, there's no in between-after he gets sober he practices his abilities practically day & night with Ben so he can summon Dave-once he finally does they hold each other for so long & Klaus cries for 15 minutes straight before he's able to speak coherently -Dave stays pretty consistently after that, tho not as much as Ben-the fact that no one ever takes him seriously actually hurts his feelings a good bit but he's Klaus so he can't let them know it affects him-pretty secretive about his power cause he doesn't like talking about it-tried his best to keep his ptsd a secret from the others but Diego picked right up on the signs & once things calmed down after the apocalypse he told the rest of the family-after getting better with his ability he summoned Ben so that the others could see him. He was the only one not to cry cause he's used to seeing him constantly(but he did tear up from seeing everyone so emotional)-says the most random things whether he's high or not-once ate a tube of toothpaste because he refused to go to the store & buy groceries -a very bouncy & giggly boy-just has so much pent up energy-everyone always gangs up on him cause he says something annoying or just cause-low key does things to provoke his siblings-if you get his ribs or underarms, congrats you've killed him-his feet are pretty bad as well-but his hips are def the worst. & since he's so skinny all you have to do is drill your thumbs into the bone to drive him up the wall insane-now that Ben can actually touch him without phasing through him he totally tickles him all the time-Klaus honestly likes being tickled cause he thinks it's fun & it helps him relax-but you better watch out, cause as he likes to say, karma is one hell of a bitch-he's super teasy, but in like a casual way? Like he can destroy someone while also having a completely normal conversation. He'll even sh them if they're laughing too loud!-loves to act oblivious while tickling you. He'll be all "why are you laughing, I'm not that funny! Oh I'm sorry, does that tickle? I didn't even notice"

Five-he's a very feisty boi-ultimate sass master -literally has a comeback for everything-he's really touch starved after spending so much time alone in the apocalypse -time traveling fucked with his brain so he mutters incoherently to himself a lot-hates that he appears younger than his siblings because he's older & wiser damnit!-uses his young appearance to his advantage tho, so it has its ups & downs-ever since his rediscovery of puppy dog eyes he can get almost whatever he wants-he can hide anywhere cause of his small size, so good luck trying to find him-misses Delores with all his heart. With his messed up mind he saw her as an actual person & losing her hurt him -he uses his ability to trap & corner his siblings so that he can attack them-like Diego or someone will tease him & try to sprint away only for Five to pop up in the doorway leaning casually like "oh I'm sorry, did you think I'd let you get away with that?" before he tickles him-he will show absolutely No Mercy, once he gets a hold of you, he won't let go until he feels like it-also uses his ability to dodge out of family tickle fights cause he knows they'll get him if he doesn't -like Klaus, he's also ganged up on, & it's even easier since he's tiny compared to the rest of them-his laugh is a really loud cackle & his eyes & nose scrunch up a lot, it's adorable-he swears like a sailor when tickled & thrashes around, but nothing really helps-he claims he's "too old for this shit" but Luther's like "you're never too old for this" before straight up murdering him

Ben-my dead son-it's hard for him to see all of his family but being unable to interact with them-he just wishes he can hug them & talk to them one more time-when Klaus finally made it happen, he was so overjoyed it was the sweetest thing ever-sick & tired of all the hentai jokes unless he's the one making them-used to be embarrassed about his power but now realizes how cool he is-was already bffs with Klaus when he was alive but they've gotten closer now that he died-pretty easy going & wants to have fun-helped keep everyone together & kept them from tearing each other's throats out, so once he hit the dust the family just kinda drifted apart-the fact that he has powers helps him stay around even when Klaus is high. Plus he's just stubborn & doesn't want to leave -gets kinda sad when he sees the other kids messing around & targeting each other cause he can only watch-his worst spots are his back, stomach & hips & he basically will go limp if you tickle him, he just gives up-has really breathy laughter-will tear up 5 seconds after laughing my precious boy-after he gets the hang of his powers, Klaus surprised him out of nowhere & attacked him for no reason-he claimed he was making up for lost time but Ben said he was just being mean-he'd be lying tho if he said he didn't enjoy every second of it

Vanya-my sweet baby dear, poor child-she's only just now learning to love herself-has major trust issues, & the shit with Harold did NOTHING to help-cried for like a week after the apocalypse cause she just feels so guilty & sorry-mended her relationship with Allison & loves her sister so much-almost cried when Claire called her Aunt Vanya-very claustrophobic-as much as she loves classical music, she also really loves classic & alternative rock-Diego literally had to beg her to play The Devil Went Down to Georgia but he managed to convince her & everyone was #shook-gets really embarrassed when anyone compliments her about anything & tries to deny it-apologizes over the smallest things. Allison told her she doesn't have to & she's trying to break the habit-really enjoys practicing with her power now that she knows she has it. She's gotten a lot better at controlling it-still pretty scared of Luther. He's apologized for everything & she forgave him but she can't help but flinch if he moves too quickly towards her, & it kinda breaks his heart -even more touch starved than Five cause while he had a childhood with the others, she was isolated & alone & had very little contact. It wasn't until after the apocalypse that she experienced a true genuine hug-always got sad when the others would play around & laugh & have fun cause it was one more thing she wasn't included in, so she's used to just hiding away by herself to practice -was barely ever the target during a tickle fight so she barely even remembers what it feels like-she honestly thinks she's grown out of it(spoiler alert: she hasn't)-a tickle fight breaks out while she's reading in the living room & out of habit she tries to go to her room cause she's used to disappearing without being noticed but Five teleports in front of her & is like um where the hell do you think you're going?-so she's like "to go read?" & by this point they have Allison & Diego's attention & Five's all "so you think you can just slink away scot free?" She tells him she's not ticklish & he belts out a laugh "I seem to remember otherwise" "well you're also like 60 so..." & that's how they found out she's still extremely ticklish-they never let her live it down-I mean they gotta make her feel included right? So it would be rude not to-her ears/neck, sides, & feet are death spots, she can't handle it-not much of a ler, but when she is she uses her skilled musician's hands to utterly wreck you, but overall she's pretty gentle-when she hears laughter her powers kinda go nuts(it's just a genuinely pure sound so she tends to really focus on it)& if it's her own laughter then it's even harder for her to control her abilities cause that fact makes her embarrassed & jittery so it takes her a while to calm down

Sorry this took so long, I've been pretty busy! But I had such a blast writing these so if you'd like to hear more or just want to talk about UA hit me up cause I'm always down to screech about my children(you can probably tell who my favorites are based off the length of each of their headcanons)

[stanmxm]

im youngmin as a prince

this is my first time doing this bear with me please-- it’s also hellaaa long so i put it under the cut to save those who dont want to scroll past the whole thing lol

is highly highly highly respected and loved by everyone in his kingdom

hes so sweet to all his people like he’ll go out of his way to check on them and make sure they’re all doing well bc he loves his kingdom so much

even sent christmas cards and extra food to all the households in the town during the holidays like WHAT A SWEETHEART

anyways

he loves his kingdom so deeply you can imagine how on edge he becomes when his dad is suddenly ill and about to pass

bc now it’s time for youngmin to step in as king and like?? he’s nOT READY

but he can’t let his kingdom NOT have a king like his people need a leader-- and his mother bless her but she doesn’t really have leadership skills rip so youngmin is their only hope

BUT he’s not married.. he can barely talk to girls lmao but it’s against royal law (?) to become a king without a queen so

that’s where you come in

your family is more into the whole “TAKE ALL THE POWER” part of royalty so they really really want to take some control of as many kingdoms as possible

but brand new kingdom (SHOOT ME) (that’s youngmin’s kingdom btw) is way too big and powerful to overtake so what better way to gain some power than to give away their daughter aka you amirite

word gets around pretty fast that youngmin is looking for a wife so they ship you off HELLA QUICK LIKE YOU’RE OFF ON A HORSE BEFORE U CAN BLINK THEY’RE WAVING AND SHIT LIKE “GO GET U THAT MAN BRING US BACK A RICH POWERFUL HEIR”

ur mad the whole way there like tf what if you don’t like youngmin he could be an asshole

needless to say that when you get there he is in fact an asshole lol

there are a bunch of girls there tryna marry him i dont blame them like bitch sign me up and he just lines them up and is scanning them up and down

and ur like??? until he stops and says “mary’s dad has four children, three of them are named monday, tuesday, and wednesday; what’s the fourth child’s name?”

and now ur like ??????? wtf is he doing

until some girl on the opposite end of u yells all confidently with a really loud voice “thursday!!” and you just

you try to keep ur mouth shut and be nice but you just

“dumbass the fourth child is mary”

you realize that you swore and it was hella disrespectful so you open your mouth to apologize until

“find her a dress. i’m marrying that one.” youngmin points straight to you and says before walking out and you’re like wHAT

within a few days all your stuff is unpacked (into your own room bc youngmin wont let you near his) and you’ve had a wedding and get settled in as the new queen of brand new kingdom

all the while youngmin hasn’t said word to you? the only thing that you’ve heard leave his mouth since you were chosen was “i do” and das it

a few weeks pass and still, nothing from youngmin. the most he gives you is glares as you pass each other and requests for you to sign documents regarding the kingdom and stuff

but in the meantime you have gotten to know his mother who LOVES you and catches you up on the kingdom, how things work, what the people are like, and she even gave you a tour of the town once so you could meet everyone

you want to ask her some things about youngmin but figure it’s not your place.. so you go to the people instead LMAO

you visit a few families and shops and they all say the same thing: that youngmin is extremely sweet and warmhearted and that they’re all so blessed to have him as their king

you’re just like?? we’re talking abt the same youngmin right lol

one day you visit this little old lady’s florist shop in the corner of town and speak with her a little bit

she tells you that since spring season just started, you should prob look out a bit for youngmin bc his allergies start acting up then hands you a bouquet of periwinkle flowers and says

“these are his favorite and they don’t make him sick, can you give them to him for me and tell him to take care of himself? he must be awfully tired”

YOUR HEART IS CRYING OF COURSE YOU GOTTA GO GIVE HIM THE FLOWERS FOR THE CUTE ELDERLY LADY

that night you reluctantly go to youngmin’s office

you creek the door open just a bit to see him tugging at his hair as he looks over paperwork, obviously stressed over something

you clear your throat and knock on the door, causing youngmin to look up at you but he seems to just get more upset lol

“can i help you?” he has this really cold tone and ur like shit who put ur panties in a twist

“i visited mrs.kim this afternoon-”

“at the florist shop?”

“uh yeah, her, and she asked me to give these to you” you pull the flowers from behind the door and youngmin’s mood went 0 to 100 REAL QUICK

it’s like all the angry washed away from his face and his eyes just light up and he’s all smiley HE’S SO PRECIOUS

“periwinkles! those are my favorite- i can’t believe she remembered!” he happily stands and takes the flowers from you as you step into the middle of the room

“she asked me to tell you that you should take care of yourself” youre trying not to look him in the eye cause even tho he was being cute af you know he can be scary

youngmin’s smile starts to frown and now he’s pouting WHAT A CUTE BABY and he’s like “i haven’t visited her at all since i’ve become king. i haven’t visited ANY of my people”

he grabs one of the chairs closest to him and sits down, putting his head in his hands after setting the flowers on the table

youre kind of just standing there not knowing what to do until you hear sniffs and soft gasps and youre like omfg he’s crying

so you just awkwardly pat him on the back.. and say “do you.. wanna talk about it..”

turns out youngmin did wanna talk about it lmao he tells you how scared he is, says that he doesn’t want to fail his people and feels so stressed about everything

you tell him everything that he needed to hear: that all his people loved him and even if it meant that he couldn’t see them as often as he’d like he’s doing what’s best for everyone and according to the people you’ve talked to, he’s being a pretty amazing king

you end up being his listening ear after that-- he trusts in you more and talks to you when making decisions and at first you’re like? you really trust me with this

and he LAUGHS wow that was the first time you heard his laugh it was magical and he was like “i chose you because you weren’t stupid, remember?”

and you’re like OHHHH NOW IT MAKES SENSE

time passes and you and youngmin become closer.. it turns out that youngmin was being an asshole to you bc he truly believed that you should be in love before getting married, and felt that he was being cheated out of that bc of the whole situation

he was also kind of uncomfortable with u being apart of things because he didn’t know you that well so he didnt know if he trusted you BUT now you two are close and he needs you for every decision!!

one day after a long day of work and going over papers, you just so happen to fall asleep in youngmin’s office on the couch

and youngmin was trying to be considerate and everything right bc your bedroom was pretty far (it was really just a few halls down) but his was right there so why not

like

just take you to his room and cuddle you all night KJLFJKDFJKFD

needless to say you were surprised when you woke up in youngmin’s arms the next morning

happily surprised ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

after that you started “accidentally” falling asleep in his office more often

and youngmin would always “be considerate” and let you sleep in his bed

it came to a point where your maids got so sick of it that they packed up all ur shit for you and moved it into his room without you two knowing

at first yall were like “what?1!??1! no we totally aren’t living together!1!!1″

yall never tried to move your stuff out

it didn’t take long after that for youngmin to confess to you or for you to happily accept

sometime during your relationship you and youngmin get to spend a rare sunday afternoon in bed cuddling and just listening to each other’s heartbeats

until youngmin says “babe.. let’s get married”

and you snort and hold up your hand with your wedding ring

“youngmin, we ARE married”

your husband sits up and shakes his head, pulling you into his chest and leaning his head on yours

“i mean a real wedding where we can actually express how much we love each other without all the pressure and stuff for press. i just want to show everyone how much i truly love you”

GOODBYE I’M DYING HE’S THE CUTEST

before you know it there are wedding bells and you’re walking down the aisle wearing a dress you chose yourself this time and there’s your husband actually smiling at you with as much love as he can muster

the wedding goes amazing, your loved ones are all there to congratulate you two on being truly in love as well as the town to celebrate the greatest king and queen duo brand new kingdom has ever had

and there are lots, and lots, of periwinkles

[dollhandinfection]

How was AFI?

Oh man, it was honestly a life changing experience. So the concertstarted at 9 pm and me and my awesome friend got there at 12 pm. Oh and did Imention that it was fucking hot?? It was literally 110 degrees, and if you knowanything about Kansas you know that the majority of the heat was humidity. Butluckily when we got to The Midland (which is where they played) we found thislittle crook of shade so we put all our stuff in that and camped out. While wewere sitting there it came out that we were the first people (and almost only)who were actually from Kansas. I spoke to a couple of AFI fans while we werewaiting for hours and most of them were pretty cool and really nice. While wewere waiting I went across the street to the really fancy grocery store to goto the bathroom. I go in and I end up talking to this neat dude whose like anuber fan and has been to almost all the shows on The Blood Tour. While we weretalking it got brought up that apparently Circa Survive wasn’t playing thatnight. Which honestly I was kinda glad about cuz I didn’t really know anythingabout Circa Survive. But I felt so shitty because my friend came with me cuzshe’s a Circa fan! Luckily when I told her she wasn’t upset or anything andsaid she would’ve came anyway. Apparently a lot of other people in line alsodidn’t know that Circa wasn’t playing, but no one was mad about it (I guess alot of people just assumed that because all the other shows on this leg of thetour are with Circa Survive, but I guess KC was the exception.) I was also a little worried because people kept saying thatthe tour shirt didn’t even mention the KC stop on it, but luckily they werewrong! (it doesn’t have the right date on there, but it definitely says KC). Sofinally at about 8 something they start letting us in, and by that point myfriend got like a pinched nerve from sitting on the ground for too long, so sheended up just sitting in the lobby for the concert (which honestly may havebeen a good thing because she probably would’ve gotten crushed in that crowd).I immediately go to the merch table and while I’m buying my shirts my awesomefriend goes and saves me a spot so close to the stage. I get to the spot andthe girl standing right next to me is wearing the same shirt as me! (which isfunny because we were the ONLY people there wearing that shirt. We both knew itwas an older AFI tour shirt, but we both couldn’t remember exactly where we gotit from haha.) She was pretty cool and so was her husband. Before the concertstarted, she leans over and goes, “so you’re gay and I gotta ask… Do you thinkDavey and Jade are gay?? I always thought they were in a relationship.” And I’mjust like ha well they’ve never really straight out said what they’resexualities are, but I know that Davey’s really never been the one for labels.I honestly don’t think they’re 100% straight, but I can’t really say if they’regay or not since I don’t personally know them. (Granted tho they’ve been in aband for over 20 years and if you haven’t been at least a little gay with yourbest friend, then you’re not really best friends haha.) So finally the concert starts and Citizen comes out. Now I had only really heard ofCitizen by their lyric pics on tumblr and a couple of seconds of some of theirsongs. But I gotta say, I was pretty impressed. Besides the fact that there wasn’t a good mic check before playing, I thought it went pretty well. Icould hear all the instruments clearly and that whole band was really puttingtheir all in. It was a little awkward since no one really knew their songs sowe just kinda stood there and listened and clapped. After that performance I’lldefinitely be checking out more of their music. I really wanted to saysomething to them after the concert, but they pretty much grabbed all theirequipment and bolted (they probably just wanted to get back on the road asap.)After Citizen it was about 20 minutes before it finally happened. Adam came outfirst and got set up, then Hunter, then Davey, and Jade. Where I was standing Igot an amazing view of Davey and Jade. Sadly tho I wasn’t able to get any pics of Hunter because he was on theleft side of the stage, and I couldn’t get any pics of Adam during the concertbecause of the way his drums were lit up you couldn’t see his face. They startoff playing Girl’s not Grey and it literally felt like I was seeing the face ofGod. Davey locked eyes with me for like 1 second and then he reached his handright across in front of me and I brushed it with my fingertips because I wasnervous and didn’t want to be pushy. And let me tell you about this setlistholy fuck. So like I said they started off with Girl’s not Grey, then they wentinto Love like Winter (which was the first song I ever heard by them so thatwas awesome), then So Beneath You, then 17 Crimes (which is one of my favsongs/music videos), and then Malleus Maleficarum (which is when everyone losttheir fucking minds and started shoving like crazy), then Get Hurt (which wasthe first time they ever played that live!), then Lost Souls (which is whenDavey stepped into the crowd and I FUCKING TOUCHED HIS BACK HE WAS RIGHT THEREIN FRONT OF ME AND I HAVE VIDEO PROOF), then The Leaving Song pt. 1, then HeWho Laughs Last, then Feed From the Floor (which is also one of my fav songsand I may base my AFI tattoo that I’m gonna get after), then Days of thePhoenix (I could watch them play this song over and over until I die), then IHope You Suffer (which honestly I never really connected with this song before,but watching them perform it live holy shit, there was just so much passion andit literally felt like Davey was singing the song into my soul), then SnowCats, then Miss Murder, then Paper Airplanes, and then Silver and Cold (which wow, it just really struck a chord with me).Davey also sang most of Jack the Ripper (one of my all time favorites)completely a capella! (I also got some of that on video.) During the concert Ialmost lost my balance a couple of times cuz during certain songs people fromthe very back would start pushing and it pushed me into the first two rows ofpeople (which I said sorry about every time it happened just like the girlsbehind apologized when it happened.) Oh and also during the last two songs Igot wedged between these guys that were like a foot taller than me. The guy onthe right wasn’t really excited and just kinda stood there and nodded his head.The guy on the left wore a bright blue shirt (he was in the video that I took ofDavey in the crowd) and he was drunk and a complete asshole. Apparently duringthe rest of the concert he was pushing and shoving the girls that were behindme and made his way next to me. then during the last two songs he startsshoving me to the right (when literally no one else was shoving), I thought itwas an accident at first. Then I realize he’s clearly trying to bump me out ofmy spot, so I start shoving back. Then HE LITERALLY STARTS SHOVING HIS ASS INMY FACE. I had it, I was in the heat all day and about to pass out from toomuch excitement and I was not gonna put up with this shit, so I shoved him realhard and yelled, “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?? YOU’RE SHOVING YOUR ASSIN MY GODDAMN FACE I’M A LITTLE GUY JUST LET ME STAND HERE PLEASE”. He fucking turns tome and says, “um you’re being a little rude.” So I was like haha dude whateverand wedged myself in front of him so that I could enjoy the last song. Afterthe concert like six people behind me came up to me to tell me that that drunk guy was an asshole and thanked me for actuallypushing him back and calling him out (they were all my height and the dude was like 6 foot something). A partof me worries that Davey just saw me pushing and thought that I was the assholeor something, but Jade was right there too and we talked after the show and hewas so nice. So after the concert ended me and my friend went out by the tourbus to wait and see if the band would come out. Adam came out first and theperson next to me asked for a pic and he said, “well actually I have a coupleof stuff I need to get. But I’ll be back, is that okay?” Like wow what a sweetguy. So eventually he comes back out and I’m starstruck. I shake his hand andtell him how weird it is to see one of the people I’ve been idolizing since 5thgrade so I’ll try to talk like a normal human being as much as possible, and hesmiles and says he’s happy I had a great time at my first AFI concert. Then Igave him this letter I wrote to the band and I tell him I didn’t want to makeit out to any specific person in the band because you’re all important. I tellhim how much I love AFI and that I don’t ever want him to feel like fans don’tappreciate him because the band wouldn’t be the same without all you guys. Andhe was like aww thanks. And he took a selfie with me and after I took it he waslike, “wait I didn’t see where to look, was I looking at the camera?” so I pullup the picture and he goes oh okay cool I did it right (what a nerd I lovehim). He also autographed this AFI postcard thing that I got with a pendant andThe Blood Album at Bestbuy. And then Jade comes out. And at this point I letsome guy borrow the sharpie I brought and I was scared that I wasn’t gonna haveit when Jade came up, but luckily he had his own (it was a gold sharpie aw). Ishake his hand and tell him how much I enjoyed the concert and how much Iappreciate him and the rest of the band and how it wouldn’t be the same withoutthem there. And he goes, “well you’re favorite band is kinda like yourchildren, you gotta love em all equally” and I’m like ha yea, I have sixsiblings tho.. and he’s like, “oh well siblings are a different thing, we allhave a favorite haha”. And then I told them that this was my first AFI show, buthopefully not my last unless you guys break up tomorrow. And he laughs andgoes, “well that is a possibility. Davey just made a really stinky sandwich, sothat might lead into something.” What a funny guy! We take a selfie and then Iask if he could also sign my card. Now this was pretty funny, when I handed himthe card he flipped it over, then he flipped it back over again and lookeda little confused. He goes, “I don’t recognize this at all, where did you getthis??” and I told him and he looks at my pendant and goes “wow you’re the onlyone here that I’ve seen wearing that, cool!” I just thought it was so funnythat he didn’t recognize that card at all. Then Davey came out and he waswearing that really cute black hood thing he’s been wearing a lot ininterviews, and as he walks by these two drunk girls scream demanding apicture. And he was nice about it and goes No pictures, but I’ll be out later.We waited like an hour and half after that and he was a no show, but honestly Ithink he was just drained (he may have came out after we left but I doubt it.)This concert was a real life changing experience. When I got home from theconcert my grandma started yelling at me and I realized; I accomplished one ofmy childhood dreams, so I’m not gonna put up with shit anymore. I feel like amore complete person. I feel like now I really only want to use my energy onthings that are important to me, and getting yelled at for no reason isn’t oneof them. And also since I wasn’t able to get a pic with Hunter or an autograph,and I wasn’t able to get an autograph from Davey (I don’t expect to get a picwith him since I’ve only seen like one pic of him and a fan on this tour) thisjust means I’ll have to go to another AFI concert! I can’t wait! 

[saviormysticmeme]

yooooo idk if you take requests but here's one of you want it???? so can i get SUPER fluffy wedding vows? for the rfa plus the minor trio? it's cool if you dont want to do it tho

I’m totally down to try requests!!!I feel like I’m kind of awkward with fluff and it always comes out more ‘Poetic’ than the cute fluff,  so I don’t know if they’ll all meet the SUPER level of Fluff but I’ll sure try! I hope you like it, feel free to leave comments or constructive criticism!

Yoosung:

He’s shaking a little. Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.

He takes a deep breath and

  “MC, when we first met on the chat I was so nervous. I had talked to you for all of 5 minutes and I already knew I was going to fall in love with you. You were just so sweet, and kind, and whenever you got on the chat…Everything just felt better.”|   “Then I realized I didn’t even know what love was. I thought love was that feeling I had whenever we talked on the phone, but no, not even close.”     “Then I thought Love was the feeling of when I saw you in person for the first time. You looked like an angel, the type that revives players after the whole team has fallen. I thought you were going to revive me…But that still wasn’t love.”   “Love wasn’t the first time we kissed.”   “Love wasn’t moving in together”   “Love was …Love was the little moments.”   “Love was you cheering with me after winning a match even if you didn’t get LOLOL that much. Love was us taking care of each other while the other was sick. Covering each other with a blanket when we’d pass out after studying too hard. It was bringing surprise coffees to each other.”   “Love is the look in my eyes right now, staring at you. And I hope you can see it and I hope you know it’s nowhere near as beautiful as you or your soul but it’s everything I have to offer you.”                   “Will you accept it MC? Will you accept my Love?”

Jaehee

She’s calm, she’s content.

She takes one of your hands in both of hers and stares into your eyes

   “MC, I never expected this when we first met. I thought you were just going to be my new coworker, maybe friend at most. I didn’t expect you to make me the happiest woman alive.”   “It’s funny how things change over time isn’t it? When you first joined the RFA I didn’t even trust you to throw a party, but now…Now I trust you with my life. With my love. With my eternal happiness. Because to make me happy all you have to do is be by my side, because you make the world so much better. You make everything more fun, more pure.”   “I feel like because of my workplace appearance, everyone assumes I’m somewhat emotionless. Like I don’t have feelings, but I can tell you see me for so much more. But who knows, maybe you see more because I feel more when I’m with you. I used to aspire to be ‘successful’ but my idea of ‘Success’ was having a good job that I enjoyed, and while that’s a nice thought, I realize ‘Success’ is something else.   “It’s those moments when we’re holding each other and watching movies. Those moments when we laugh together. Those moments when we’re both behind the counter of the coffee shop pouring different drinks, but we glance at each other and we both smile.”   “I know this is Success because I don’t have any need to advance anymore. I’m content with this. I want the rest of my life to be like the way it is now.”                   “I want to spend the rest of my life with you MC”

Zen

He’s memorized his speech of course

He takes your hands in his, his touch is gentle

He takes a deep breath, ready to deliver his speech with all his gusto…but then lets it out his mouth slowly

This isn’t a performance, he reminds himself. This is true love.

   “MC, as an actor I understand just how powerful words can be. But I can also understand how that power can be overlooked. Sometimes I get scared…scared that when I tell you “I love you” you don’t know I mean “I love you with all my heart and I could never dream of a life without you”. I get scared that you think my version of ‘Love’ is devalued because I use the word so much, that you don’t know how strongly I mean it. When I say I love you, I don’t mean ‘I like having you around’ I mean ‘I need you’. When I call you ‘My Love’ I’m not calling you my partner, I’m calling you my soulmate, my better half.”

A tear or two start welling up in his eye, but he can’t bare to talk his hands away from yours.

   “And you’ve shown me a Love I’ve never had. All my life I felt unloved, until I became famous. Then I had strangers on the street telling me they loved me. And I expected that to fill this hole that had been growing in my heart, but it never quite did the job.”   “I had grown up feeling like I couldn’t be truly loved because of the way I looked. I felt like people would like me for my face and body and they wouldn’t even pay mind to what I was really like. I felt like they’d ignore my flaws just to look at me.”   “And the idea of someone looking past your flaws is nice, but not when they’re looking at someone who isn’t you. When people would ignore my flaws, it’s because they were looking at Zen.”

He gently squeazed your hands

No matter how much he had practiced his lines he still didn’t feel prepared

   “Then there was the first time you said you loved me.”

   “You did something thousands of fans and friends could not. You filled the hole in my heart. You taught me what it was to truly be loved. Not just for looks or talent, but for heart and soul as well. You didn’t ignore my flaws, you took them in your hands and showed them love and care. You said ‘We can work on them’.”    “You were never looking at Zen, you were looking at me, Hyun Ryu. And I                hope you choose to keep looking at him for the rest of our lives.”

Jumin

He’s staring into your eyes

He’s ready and jumps right into it

   “MC. I love you.”   “Every moment I’m with you is like the moment you first jump into a cold lake. The first time you jump out of a plane to skydive. That feeling you have when speeding down an empty highway at 100 mph with the top down. Being with you makes me feel things so intensely I thought my heart would burst the first time we met.”   “You make me feel alive.”    “I don’t think I’ll ever know what it is to ‘live’ again if you’re not with me. “   “I know we come from different places, I’m privileged enough to come from a place that many people don’t, and I haven’t always paid much attention to it. I’ve been…cold to others. You taught me what it is to show warmth, compassion, to other humans. You’ve made me such a better man, and I have no doubt you will only continue to do so. “

He takes your hands in his.

   “But not only are you admirable for being kind, you are strong too. Most people are intimidated by my status, they roll over to appease me and offer nothing but their meek support. You are unafraid to tell me when I am wrong, when I am getting cold again. I know I have a long, long, way to go on my path to becoming a better person, and it’s your strength I need to keep me on track.    “MC, if you promise to stay by my side and help me grow, I promise to give      you everything you could ever want in life. Whether it be material things, or                      every ounce of love my heart produces. It’s all yours”

Saeyoung

   “First of all I’d like to apologize. I always said we’d get married in a Space station…unfortunately the world isn’t that advanced yet and, MC, I can’t wait any longer. I want to marry you so badly…I hope you can forgive me for being impatient to spend the rest of my life with you.”   “Second, I want to thank you. You saved me, not only from others, but from myself. If I hadn’t met you I’d be hunched over my computer right now, doing god knows what, instead of looking into the eyes of the most beautiful person in the world.”   “I want to hold you in my arms forever, MC. I can see us now, just laying on a blanket staring at the night sky, talking about anything and everything, until our spaceship is ready. Then we’ll take a vacation out to space and take a trip around the earth. And you know what I will say to you everyday? Everyday I’ll tell you that I didn’t leave my world, because you’re my world. And it’ll be so cheesy and you’ll stop laughing after the hundredth time probably, but I’ll keep saying it so you never forget it MC. So you never forget that you are my everything.”           “Will you allow me to be your everything? Will you marry me?”

Saeran

He’s fidgeting.

You guys didn’t invite a lot of people, but the 10 pairs of eyes staring are enough to make him uncomfortable

“Saeran we can save the vows and everythi-” You were gonna try offering to do it all later

“No” His eyes snapped to you instead of your friends and family. You took his hands in yours. He’s not big on PDA but it hand holding usually soothes him a bit so you hope it helps. He glances down and seems to relax a little, then looks back to you.

You guys didn’t invite a lot of people, but the 10 pairs of eyes staring are enough to make him uncomfortable

   “I won’t lie, I’m a little uncomfortable right now. …I’m uncomfortable a lot of the time. My whole life has been pretty uncomfortable. But when I met you I saw…windows of time where I could be called…comfortable. The more time I spent with you the more ‘comfortable’ I got being around you. And eventually I think I found myself wanting to be near you. You’d come over and visit, and I’d find myself being disappointed when you’d leave.”     “One day when you came over…our hands touched. Like they are right now. And…you did it slowly…softly…I could tell you were trying to not make me jump cause I know I have a habit of doing that…and that’s how I knew you cared. It was a little weird honestly, you had taken the time to notice how I reacted to things, and what…what made me comfortable. You cared in a way no one else had…and yet again I felt uncomfortable. But a new uncomfortable. I usually wanted to be left alone, but now…being in solitude made me feel upset. I wanted you near me forever.”

   “So that’s why we’re here I suppose.” 

He cast a glance towards the small crowd, then back to you. You had a smile on your face, encouraging him on. 

   “You make me feel like you care about me. And I want you to know… I care about you. A lot. And I always want you near me. And… I’ll do whatever I can to make you comfortable by my side.”

             “So…MC…I want to marry you. And be with you forever.”

Jihyun/ V

He was calm and ready

He took his glasses off, usually in public he keeps them on because people get distracted by the slight fog to them, but this was about him and you.

   “MC…Words can’t begin to describe the joy I feel right now. Part of me considered just presenting a slideshow of pictures that express how I feel. A shot of a beach at twilight. Two orchids, stems and petals intertwined, swaying in the breeze. A panoramic that shows the moon rising and the sun setting…

   “I feel like when we’re together we create a path that the universe didn’t plan for, a path that’s spontaneous and beautiful. We’re an anomaly, no one saw it coming, not even us, but now that it has, every moment is pure magic. And I’d like to walk that path holding your hand every step along the way. When we’re together it’s impossible for me to feel pain. I’ve suffered from incidents along the way in life…but those moments when you look at me with a smile on your face, when you laugh at something silly, when you hug me each time you see me as a greeting…any injury I’ve ever had heals a little more.

   “We walked down this aisle, and now I ask you to walk a little more..because I love you more than anything else in the world.”

                  “Will you walk this path of life with me forever, MC?

Vanderwood

He was oh so confident. Staring everyone in the audience in there eyes with a slight smirk on his face

Then he saw you and he lost his cool a bit

You walked down the aisle towards him and he just

Gulped. Lost his composure for a second, but pulled it back together as you took the spot across from him

“Damn Babe you look good” He said, mouth slightly agape still

The Priest coughed a bit as a slight reprimand for his vocabulary.

“Oh, sorry.” Vanderwood cleared his throat.

   “MC..I uh, I suck at words so I’m sorry if this all seems underwhelming…Just know…I uh, feel a lot more than what I’m about to say. Ok? Ok.”

Another deep breath. He’s not used to feeling shook like this.

   “We met under some of the weirdest circumstances ever, like that shit could be a video game or movie or something. And I never believed in a ‘higher power’ or anything but…looking back I can’t feel like everything that happened, happened by coincidence. Had we not met in that situation would we have gotten as close as we did? I…I don’t know that we would have. It’s moments when your life’s in danger that you see someone for who they really are…and I saw that you were sweet, and kind, and still somehow a badass.”

The Priest didn’t even try

   “You risked your life to help your friends, and to protect me, a stranger at the time. You have to be one hell of a person to do that. And you are one hell of a person. Even if I hadn’t known it instantly, I would find out after spending time with you. Time that I cherish every moment of, because…because I love you. And I want to spend more time with you, a lot more…so I look forward to us getting married and spending the rest of our lives together.”

—-

Hope this was the fluff you were looking for!!