#my knee may be fucked but i am also SO comfy and cozy

[napping-sapphic]

It’s a beautiful night and i am manifesting that none of you are fucking up your knee right now😌

[neerasrealm]

Kagekao’s Day

A fic that follows the average day in the life of our favorite demonic trickster as he gets up to...whatever it is he gets up to. Please note I am not Japanese so the japanese used in this fic is google translated and may be inaccurate or wonky. Apologies in advance for that. Word count: 3489

Shinjuku’s Golden Gai. Arguably one of his favorite places to spend long nights drinking in. The Golden Gai, or Golden Street as tourists would call it, was a quaint little labyrinth of bars, shops and clubs. He’d squeezed himself into a random bar, he wasn’t sure if he’d been there before but the place did serve some damn good umeshu. He’d already drank maybe two bottles worth. It was surprising they would still serve him after so much. Maybe it was because he didn’t get drunk very easily. He was tipsy at most.

He snapped his fingers as a waiter walked past his booth. He propped his clawed feet up on the table as he turned to look at him. He held up his empty glass, shaking it a bit. The ice clinked quietly as he did so. ‘’Motto kudasai.’’ he chirped. The waiter nodded and walked off to grab him another drink. He settled down again, ready to get himself comfy for bottle number three, but then his phone rang. He scowled and reached into his pocket, hitting answer without even looking at the caller ID. ‘’Osu.’’ he grunted, playing with his scarf. He heard a deep chuckle on the other side of the phone.

‘’Well hello there,’’ the voice was deep, and oozed charisma. He smiled and sat up. ‘’Is this a bad time, Kagekao?’’ 

He giggled. ‘’No, no, kami-sensei. Not at alllll.’’ he purred. ‘’To what do I owe the pleasure, hmmmmm?’’

The man on the other end of the phone chuckled again. ‘’I have a job for you. Think you could drop by? We’d love to see you again.’’

He swung his feet off the table and grinned, giggling. ‘’Of course, of course!’’ he chirped. ‘’Sounds fun! Very very fun, kekekeke!’’ he reached into his dress, pulling his wallet from one of the ever-so-delightful pockets. He pulled out the yen and tossed it onto the table. ‘’I’ll be there soon!’’ 

‘’Good, good. I’ll see you soon then.’’ the voice on the phone purred before hanging up. Kagekao skittered out of the bar and off to see Zalgo.

Getting to Zalgo’s realm was easy enough. Find a wall, draw a giant ‘Z’ on it and simply wait for the gates of hell to open up! Kagekao gleefully waltzed through the tunnel to the barren wasteland Zalgo resided in. It was a very dreary place...and Kagekao loved that! He took his time getting to the house. He liked messing with the lost souls that roamed the wasteland. They weren’t really able to fight back, and couldn’t think enough to be anything but innocently confused and curious. Kagekao playfully cackled to himself as he skittered off to Zalgo’s nice, cozy house.

Now he could have taken the door that was always left unlocked, but that was boring! Instead, he scaled the house and made his way up to the chimney. He squeezed himself into it and rapidly skittered down, being as loud as possible in the process. He giggled at the confused shouts and noises he could hear through the wall. He stopped near the entrance of the chimney. The fireplace was unlit. 

‘’Kekekekekeke…’’ 

He heard shuffling in the room. The rustle of a newspaper, or magazine. Then someone, male, sighing. He giggled. ‘’Jason! Can you come here a second?’’ he called out, mimicking the young, feminine voice of Jane. The male grunted and got off the couch, crossing the room.

‘’Yes?’’ 

While he was occupied, Kagekao crawled out of the fireplace and onto the ceiling. He tilted his head, turning to look at the redheaded man standing in the doorway, his back turned to Kagekao. The demon pulled his scarf up onto the ceiling, out of sight, before replying. ‘’Nevermind, I got it!’’

Jason grunted and turned, walking back over to the armchair he’d been sitting in. Kagekao silently crept along the ceiling until he was directly over where the toymaker sat. Biting back a giggle, he braced himself, then let go of the ceiling. The screech Jason let out had him cackling.

‘’KEKEKEKEKE! Mitsuketa!!’’ he giggled as he rolled over in Jason’s lap and sat up, pressing his mask to the toymaker’s shocked face. Jason blinked a couple times before his lips curled into a snarl. He shoved Kagekao off of him roughly, sending the giggling demon to the floor. Kagekao rolled over onto his hands and knees and snapped his neck to the side a few times, making loud snapping noises as he did so. ‘’Ya-ho!’’ he chirped in greeting. Jason growled and kicked at him. The demon quickly backflipped out of the way with a giggle. 

‘’What are you doing here?’’ Jason snapped. Kagekao giggled again and leapt to his feet.

‘’Zalgo called me!’’ he chirped. Jason huffed and shook his head, muttering to himself. Kagekao snapped his neck around at the sound of footsteps approaching the room. He grinned beneath his mask at the sight of Zalgo standing in the doorway, smirking as he always did. ‘’Ya, kami-sensei!’’ he greeted excitedly. Zalgo chuckled.

‘’Hello Kagekao.’’ he greeted calmly before tilting his head, golden eyes flicking to the angry toymaker. ‘’Jason, shouldn’t you be bringing guests up to my lounge? The living room is hardly a place for me to have formal discussions.’’

Jason glared at Zalgo like he wanted nothing more than to tear the smug god to shreds. ‘’He came down the chimney.’’ he replied bluntly. Kagekao nodded.

‘’It’s true! Then I dropped into Jason’s lap.’’ he purred. Literally. Like a cat. ‘’He’s very warm and snuggly, kekeke.’’

‘’Well that’s good to know.’’ Zalgo murmured back. Jason buried his face in his magazine and did the breathing exercises Alice had been teaching him. Zalgo looked back over at Kagekao and smiled warmly. ‘’Come, I’d like to speak with you in private.’’ he glanced at Jason for a second before turning on his heel and gesturing for Kagekao to follow. He followed obediently, though he didn’t stop himself from looking around and touching anything that caught his interest. Zalgo didn’t seem to mind very much. 

He led Kagekao into his lounge. Though it also worked as an office. It was a big room, with high walls covered with bookshelves and drawers, along with a few trinkets. A mannequin with a pair of goggles on it, a glass case with giant butterfly wings in it, and a perfectly preserved human heart! That last one was Kagekao’s favorite, though Zalgo didn’t like him touching it. Zalgo strode over to the large desk and sat himself down on it, watching Kagekao intently as he skittered around the room a few times before deciding to flop himself into an oversized armchair. He curled his knees up, kneading his claws into the fabric as he got comfy before relaxing. He purred to himself before looking at Zalgo, who’s expression had turned more serious now.

‘’Do you have any wine?’’ he asked. Zalgo looked at him for a moment before snapping his fingers. Flames burst into the air, then disappeared. Leaving a bottle of wine in their place. The bottle fell down into Kagekao’s lap. He giggled happily and quickly uncorked it. 

‘’I have an assignment for you,’’ Zalgo murmured, his voice serious now that they were in private. ‘’It’s important. This is something only you can do for me, Kagekao. I trust you can get it done.’’

‘’Mmm…’’ Kagekao pulled his mask up and chugged some wine straight from the bottle. He’d have preferred a glass, to let the wine air out and settle more, but he was thirsty from all the time he’d spent drinking earlier. ‘’Of course. I can do anything.’’

‘’Good.’’ Zalgo leaned back where he sat. ‘’I want you to check on the proxies. Ask them if they’ve seen anyone...out of the ordinary recently. Wearing a mask.’’

Kagekao looked up. ‘’Out of the ordinary?’’ he cocked his head. ‘’You’re never specific, are you kami-sensei?’’ he added with a laugh. ‘’I can do it though! No problem. I’ll get to see the goggle brothers again!!’’

Zalgo arched a brow. ‘’The goggle brothers?’’

‘’Doby and Toby!’’ Kagekao threw his arms up, then squeaked when he almost spilled wine on himself. 

Zalgo smiled a small bit. ‘’Call them what you like,’’ he murmured as he stood up. ‘’Just make sure you don’t mention me-’’

‘’I know I know.’’ Kagekao cut in as he slurped down more wine. ‘’They can’t know you’re the person behind the Operator, lies and deception, I get it.’’ Zalgo looked surprised. He wasn’t used to being interrupted. Kagekao hopped to his feet and rocked on his heels. ‘’Can I run some errands before I report back?’’ he asked. 

Zalgo nodded. ‘’Whatever you want.’’ he replied simply. ‘’Just get it done.’’

Kagekao gleefully hopped, skipped and jumped out of Zalgo’s realm. He found himself back in the human world. Specifically somewhere in the US. He wandered through the town he’d been popped out at before finding himself in the local park. Bordering the park was a thick forest. He strolled through the trees, deeper and deeper into the forest until he came upon a cabin. Though it was closer to being a shack. Dilapidated and broken down. The wood it was made from was rotting, and nature seemed to be reclaiming it. Kagekao walked over and climbed onto the roof of the shack. He skittered across it and looked down into the backyard.

‘’Yeah it was fuckin’ weird! I don’t know- third base!- who would keep their soda in the cabinet like??’’ a young voice spoke below him.

‘’Guess they like room temperature soda.’’ a second, deeper voice replied. Two boys sat out on the back porch. Or rather, one of them was sitting on the porch. The second boy, who wore mismatched knee socks, an old purple hoodie and had fluffy chestnut hair, was sitting on the other’s lap. Kagekao climbed down the wall, staring down at the two of them intently. 

‘’Who the fuck drinks room temperature soda?’’ Doby asked as he tapped his fingers against his bare thigh. Toby shrugged and wrapped his arms around his friend, his shoulder jerking for a moment. He sighed and rested his head on Doby’s shoulder. 

Kagekao slowly reached down and ran his fingers through Toby’s curly hair. The boy jumped in surprise, his fist punching outward on instinct. ‘’Fuck off!’’ he yelped. Both of their heads snapped up suddenly, looking at the demon casually perched on the wall above them. He tilted his head to the side, grinning beneath his mask. 

Doby’s lips curled up into a grin. ‘’Hey bitch.’’ he chirped. 

Kagekao giggled again. ‘’Hisashiburi desu ne.’’ he greeted. ‘’Genki datta?’’

Doby smirked and rolled his eyes. ‘’I can’t understand you.’’ 

Kagekao climbed down off the wall and hummed. Toby watched him crawl around the porch like a cat, or some kind of lizard. ‘’It’s been a while,’’ the demon murmured. ‘’How have you two been, hm?’’ 

‘’We’re good,’’ Toby murmured. ‘’What’re you doing here?’’ 

Kagekao snapped his neck to the sides a few times, as if mimicking the boy’s tics. He sat himself in front of them, crossing his legs. ‘’Just checking on you two.’’ he hummed. ‘’Anything interesting been happening lately? Anyone wandering into the woods?’’ he asked with a grin.

Doby smiled. ‘’A couple. You know how it is…’’ He mimicked swinging a baseball bat, a clear indicator that he was remembering times when the two had had to keep intruders from finding their little base of operations..

‘’And nobody else?’’ Kagekao tilted his head. ‘’Nobody with...a mask or anything such?’’

Toby frowned. ‘’Mask?’’ he asked softly. Doby nudged him.

‘’Sorry, tic.’’ he grunted before looking back at Kagekao. ‘’What do you mean by ‘mask’?’’ he asked slowly, his eyes narrowing at the demon. 

Kagekao grinned slyly under his own mask. ‘’Someone covering their face. Hiding.’’ he replied. ‘’There’s been someone going around lately...causing issues in the community.’’ he shrugged. ‘’Don’t know their name. Just that they wear a mask and they might be causing issues.’’

Doby hummed. ‘’Nah don’t know ‘em.’’ he said. ‘’Right Toby?’’

Toby nodded, almost too enthusiastically. ‘’Right, right.’’ he parroted. Kagekao hummed and stood up. On his hands. He stretched out one of his arms, balancing his full weight on one palm. 

‘’Well then,’’ he suddenly flipped himself up into the air, landing on the ground with ease. ‘’If that’s the case...then I’ll leave you boys be.’’ he looked at the two proxies. Neither of them spoke. They just stared up at him cautiously. Kagekao laughed and stepped away from the shack, moving toward the forest again. ‘’I’ll see you two soon, hopefully.’’ he added with a sly grin.

With his work done, Kagekao could do whatever he wanted. And he knew exactly what his next visit would be. He had to take a shortcut through Zalgo’s realm, but soon enough he found himself in Louisiana. Specifically a small town in Louisiana that had a forest bordering the side of it. He perched himself up in a tree and waited and waited. Eventually, a silver minivan drove out of the forest and Kagekao grinned. He leapt out of the tree and skittered through the woods and into the fairy circle buried deep inside it. He stopped in the mansion’s front garden and giggled. The mansion was typically impenetrable, accessible only to people who had Slender’s specific marking. Which Kagekao had, though Slender didn’t need to know that.

He crawled along the side of the house, finding his way into the back garden. He poked his head out and looked into the yard. Sitting by a flower patch, humming innocently was a small girl. Her hair was fiery, turning from blonde to red as it fell around her shoulders. She wore gray dungarees and a striped shirt, rolled up to her elbows, along with a red bowtie. Her skin was a reddish-brown, dotted with bronze freckles. Kagekao slinked out from behind the house and skittered across the grass, hiding in a bush. The girl looked up in surprise. She glanced around for a few moments, her golden eyes locking on the bush he was hiding in. Slowly, she stood up and crept over to him, head tilted curiously. She crouched by the bush, reaching out carefully. 

And then he pounced. She shrieked as the two of them rolled over the grass. They came to a stop, Kagekao leaning over her. She blinked in surprise, looking at him, before grinning. ‘’Gecko!!’’ 

‘’Ya-ho Slendra-cha!.’’ he greeted with a smile. 

The girl giggled and pushed him up off of her, sitting up. ‘’Hisashiburi desu ne,’’ she replied. ‘’Genki datta?’’ 

Kagekao smiled. Ah, one of his few friends who spoke japanese. ‘’Genkidesu.’’ he replied. She smiled and tilted her head, hair falling over her shoulder.

‘’What’re you doing here?’’ she narrowed her eyes at him. A sly smile crept up her face. ‘’You’re not causing mischief are you?’’ 

Kagekao folded his legs. ‘’Nooo…’’ he shook his head. ‘’I’d never do that!’’ 

She leaned closer to him. ‘’Uh-huh?’’ she asked. ‘’My dad’s gonna be mad if he finds out you’re here…’’

Kagekao grinned at Slendra. Oh, her father certainly would be unhappy to find out he was on the property of his enemy. But Zalgo needn’t know that. ‘’Slender just went grocery shopping.’’ he replied. ‘’I saw the car leave.’’

The girl pursed her lips, a smile curling up her face. ‘’You’re planning something aren’t you?’’

‘’Your father wouldn’t notice if a wine bottle or two went missing…’’ Kagekao replied. She giggled. 

‘’You’re gonna get in troubleeeee.’’ she chided. Kagekao leaned into her.

‘’I knoooooow.’’ he replied. ‘’Now let me into your house.’’

Slendra rolled her eyes and laughed. ‘’Fine! But only if you promise to bring me those japanese potato chips I like next time you come over!’’ she pointed at him accusingly. Kagekao nodded, just eager to get his claws on some high quality wine. The girl smirked and stood up, leading the demon over to the back door. She slid it open and stepped into the neat, empty kitchen. ‘’You’re lucky Tim took Cody and EJ out you know.’’ she chided.

Kagekao padded toward the kitchen door, peering through the keyhole. ‘’Who’s home?’’ he asked.

‘’Mmm...Jeffery and Ben went with dad. Helen is in their room, and pops took the girls out.’’ she replied. ‘’So...you just gotta look out for Rachel.’’ Kagekao smirked. Rachel? She was only a human! Sure she was a psychic too but...nothing he couldn’t handle.

‘’Thank you Slendra.’’ he chirped before opening the kitchen door and skittering his way down to the basement. He flattened himself against the wall and peeked into the basement. It was sizable and comfy, with a few rooms. Including the miniature wine cellar, only across from him. His gaze moved over to the small couch on the right of the room. It was a cozy little area, with a coffee table, TV and several old gaming consoles, along with a cabinet full of games. Sitting on the couch, holding a game controller, was a woman with medium black hair, wearing an outfit of the same colour. She was playing some old shooter with monsters in it. Kagekao couldn’t be bothered to remember the name. He didn’t care for virtual games. 

Silently as possible, he climbed up the wall and reached the ceiling. He froze, snapping his neck to check on the woman. Rachel Downs...a powerful psychic, but an average human. He’d be wary of her, at the very least. He crept along the ceiling, keeping his head locked on her the whole time. He had almost, almost reached Slenderman’s stash of delicious wine when Rachel suddenly yelled out in irritation. He jolted in fear, watching her throw down the controller in her lap. ‘’God damnit!’’ she snarled. ‘’Janky ass controls…’’ she shook her head, then stood up. Kagekao cursed under his breath and threw himself over to a shadowed corner, thankful that the basement lights weren’t on. Rachel frowned and looked over at him, and though she couldn’t spot his eyes, Kagekao stared right back. A few tense moments passed before she sighed and shook her head. ‘’Fuckin’ cats…’’ she muttered to herself as she turned and walked up the stairs. Kagekao stayed frozen still for a few moments before skittering out of the corner and over to the door to the wine cellar. He unlocked it with ease, using a copy of the key he’d stolen a few months ago.

You couldn’t exactly call it a wine cellar, more of a wine...room. Shelves that were lined with bottles upon bottles of the delicious red stuff. Kagekao giggled. He had at least an hour before Slender came home. Which was plenty of time. He wasted no time getting into a bottle of his favorite brand. Slender had exquisite taste in wine. And a concerning amount of it. You’d almost think the man was an alcoholic, if it weren’t for the fact that he was an ancient ethereal being who didn’t get drunk easily. Kagekao would have claimed to have that same excuse, but he was nowhere near ancient or ethereal, and his alcohol tolerance was still nothing compared to Slender’s. Not to mention he would drink for breakfast, lunch and dinner, when Slender would at least have a glass of juice in the morning.

He told himself he’d keep track of the time. But by the time he heard thumping upstairs and three sets of footsteps he was nowhere near ready to leave. His eyes widened, listening to muffled voices upstairs.

‘’Boys, you start putting all of this away. I’ll be up in a moment to help.’

’‘’Kay dad.’’

The footsteps moved some more, and then he heard the stairs to the basement creaking. Kagekao chugged down the last of the bottle he had clutched between his feet and skittered over to another shelf. He grabbed a bottle in each hand, still listening as Slender approached the room. He staggered over to the wall at the back of the room and drew on the sigil for Zalgo’s realm. As soon as the gateway was open enough for him to slip through, he darted in and closed it behind him. Not wanting to stick around for fear that he’d been caught, he skittered down the dark, damp tunnel until he emerged into the light.

He stumbled and fell against the wall of a building. He shivered. Wow- it was cold here. He crept out from behind the building and looked around until his eyes laid upon a bathhouse in the distance. Glancing around more, he realised he was in between a couple of restaurants. The smell of freshly cooked meat and good old fashioned sake filled his nose. Kagekao grinned.

He had a few hours to kill before he had to go back to Zalgo.

[ceealaina]

Title: In My Dreams I Turn You On - Chapter 2 Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K5 - Mutual Pining Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers Summary: Tony’s crushing hard on his new massage therapist, but doesn’t want to be a sleazy businessman. Bucky’s crushing hard on his latest client, but doesn’t want to take advantage of him in a vulnerable position. So they handle it like any sane adults - pretend it’s not happening and refuse to discuss it. At least they both have terrible friends to help them through it. Word Count: 11,067 Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

And that makes a bingo!

Tony tried to resist, really he did, tried to be logical about it all. Look at the facts: James was exactly his type, as much as Tony had ever had one. And he’d had his hands all over Tony’s body — professionally, but for someone as tactile as Tony was, touch was touch. It made sense that he’d react to that, especially since it had maybe been awhile since he’d had someone in his life in that particular capacity. Tony had thought, or at least hoped, that with a bit of space and a good night’s sleep, he’d move on. 

But when, nearly a week later, he was still thinking about James’ laugh, thinking about how loose and relaxed he had felt afterwards, when he was still trying to keep his mind from drifting to blue eyes and a low husky voice when he jerked off at night… He caved. Telling himself that he’d probably built James up in his mind, that if he saw him in person again he’d be able to find a flaw, talk himself out of his silly crush, he booked another massage. And then he may or may not have slipped into the system to ensure that it was James who was assigned as his therapist.

He jerked off beforehand this time, just in case. It had been awhile since he’d been laid. Maybe last time he’d been a little touch starved, and his body had just felt good and his brain had run with it. 

Tony had always been very good at mental gymnastics. 

But the second he walked in the door and spotted James, he knew all his planning had been for nothing. 

James was leaning casually against the table where he kept all his supplies. He had one leg crossed over the other at the ankle, which pulled the fabric of his pants tight across his gorgeously thick thighs, and made Tony want nothing more than to straddle them right here. James was peering down a chart in his hand, tongue poking out between his teeth adorably, but he looked up with a smile at the sound of the door. 

“Hey Mr.-- uh, Tony.” He gave him a brilliant grin, a little flustered, and Tony honest to god felt his knees go weak. 

“Hello, James,” Tony replied, and then immediately wanted to kick himself because his voice had dropped to a lower register, and really, could he sound like more of a sleazy businessman? He smiled, hoping to offset the creepiness, and he could feel his face stretch into something ridiculous and manic. Oh god, is that what his smile always seemed like? He suddenly couldn’t remember what felt normal for his face, or his hands for that matter. Clearing his throat, he tried to come up with something — anything — normal to say. “‘Sup?” 

That… Was not it.

If James had noticed what an absolute weirdo Tony was being, he didn’t comment, just smiled at him brightly. His smile was somehow even more gorgeous that Tony had remembered. 

“Nothing much,” he told him, like ‘sup’ was a perfectly normal, non-90s way of greeting someone. “Headed up to Boston over the weekend. Birthday trip?”

“Really?” Tony latched onto the fact like a dying man. Boston he knew. Boston, he could talk about with something almost resembling normalcy. “I went to school in Boston.” 

James arched an eyebrow at that, and Tony hid a wince because duh, Stark, everyone knew that. 

“What, uh… What did you do there?” 

“Um…” There was the faintest hint of a blush staining Bucky’s cheeks “Well. We had a whole bunch of stuff planned, but then we accidentally spent an entire day at the Museum of Science, so…” 

Tony’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god,” he breathed. “You’re a nerd.” 

A second later it occurred to him that most people probably wouldn’t take that like the compliment it was, but fortunately James didn’t seem offended. 

“Little bit, yeah,” he admitted, rubbing at his lower lip to hide what Tony personally thought was an absolutely adorable smile. 

“What did you see? Did you get to the new exhibit on advanced AI?”

James huffed out a little laugh. “Tell you what,” he offered. “We’re cutting into your ninety minutes, so why don’t we get started and then I promise I’ll regale you with science stories while I work.” 

Tony had honestly forgotten why he was even here for a moment. He blinked at James a moment. “Am I dreaming right now? A massage from— from you.” He stumbled a little awkwardly over the words. He’d been about to say ‘a gorgeous man.’ “And we get to talk science? Sounds fake, but okay. Also, I would just like to point out that I am kind of the boss. If we want to take more than ninety minutes, I’m pretty sure we can do that.”

James snorted. “I like how you assume I don’t have anything else going on after this.” 

“Do you?” Tony asked, before he could stop himself. 

James shrugged. “Not really,” he admitted, grinning. From what Tony could tell, he seemed genuinely amused and not ‘you technically employ me so I’ve gotta laugh’ amused. “I’ve got another appointment, after you, and then that’s it. All free and clear.” 

There was a long moment then, both of them looking at each other in a way that, to Tony at least, felt heavy. Expectant. It would be so easy to just ask if he wanted to grab dinner, or coffee after. 

“Professionalism,” he managed to get out instead. “I like that.” 

James grinned back at him, and Tony told himself that he was imagining the slight tinge of disappointment to it. 

***

True to his word, once they’d gone over Tony’s problem areas, and he was settled comfy-cozy beneath the sheets, and James had returned to the room and gotten started on Tony’s back, he told him in perfect detail about his time at the science museum. He hadn’t been kidding about being ‘a little bit’ of a nerd; the way he’d get distracted on tangents, practically yelling in excitement until he remembered where he was and tamped it down again, was making Tony all kinds of nostalgic for being at MIT with Rhodey. 

He could feel himself falling a little harder with each passing second. 

Tony resisted the urge to jump in, to go into science teacher mode, because he’d gotten feedback in the past that that was a bit of a turn off. He didn’t point out that he’d actually been a consultant in the museum’s collaboration with MIT on the AI exhibit — James probably would have read that in the exhibit info, and if he hadn’t then Tony bragging about it wasn’t going to endear him in any way. But he couldn’t stop himself from fishing for a bit more information.

“So,” he managed, when there was an appropriate lull in the conversation (thankfully not cutting James off mid-word, like he had when he’d gotten a little too over enthusiastic about nanoparticles). “Who’d you go with? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Your... more intelligent than the average bear?” 

He could feel his neck heat, was glad that the room was dark, that he was lying face down so James couldn’t see the truly ridiculous facial expressions he was probably making right now. 

James made a faint noise that Tony couldn’t quite interpret. “Uh. No, nothing like that. I mean, Stevie’s dumber’n a bear sometimes, but no. Just some friends.” There was a brief hesitation, and then, softer, “Besides, you’d have to have one of those to take them with you.” 

Tony felt a stupid grin cross his face, even more relieved that he was facing the floor. “Yeah, that, uh… That’ll help,” he managed. 

The rest of the session passed entirely too quickly, and before he knew it James was taking a step back, telling him to take it easy and drink lots of water today. Tony hummed out a vague agreement, staring a little dazed up at the ceiling. James huffed out a soft laugh and then hesitated for the briefest of moments at the doorway. 

“It was nice seeing you today, Tony. Hope I’ll see you again soon.”

And then he was gone, leaving Tony blinking helplessly at the ceiling. He stayed there for a long time after he left. 

“Fuck.”  

***

There was really no going back, after that. Tony set up a standing appointment for every other Friday, and it very quickly became the highlight of his week. He also didn’t think he’d jerked off this much before in his entire life, but that was neither here nor there. Because the thing was, yes, James was hot as shit. But he was also ridiculously easy to talk to, and after just a couple of weeks, Tony felt like he’d known him forever, the same sort of instant connection that he’d felt when he’d first met Steve. 

Except, of course, he and Steve had fallen into an easy friendship while with James he just kept thinking of all the ways he wanted to take him apart, so maybe Rhodey was a more apt comparison. 

Tony knew he was driving his friends crazy. He’d started getting JARVIS to mark off his calendar with racquetball, just so he wouldn’t have to endure the looks that Pepper had started giving him when he told her he was going for another massage appointment. Not the usual ‘oh my god, are you kidding me’ looks that she got whenever he was doing something else gross — those he could have handled — but soft, sympathetic looks, like she thought he was in love or something. Perish the thought. Steve, on the other hand, had flat out banned Tony from talking about James anymore under threat of not hanging out until he either stopped going, or pulled his tits up and asked him out. Tony still managed to work him into every conversation. Pining was hard. 

Rhodey, at least, was a little more understanding. He and Sam had been roommates first, danced around each other for months without even knowing if the other one was into men before Sam had tripped and Rhodey had fallen and they’d ended up with their mouths on each other’s dicks. And then it had been another few months of “it’s just sex,” and “it doesn’t mean anything, Tony, really, shut up about it,” until they’d finally admitted that it was, in fact, a lot more than just sex. So Rhodey understood. Tony was still driving him absolutely bananas, but he at least understood. 

***

Tony didn’t know it, but Bucky wasn’t doing much better. Almost from the moment one session would end, he’d be counting down the hours until the next one. Every day that they didn’t have an appointment, he’d get a — frankly embarrassing — thrill low in his belly, wondering, imagining if he might run into Tony somewhere in the building. And on the days when he did, when he and Tony would make eye contact and Tony would give them that smile, like just seeing Bucky had saved him from a terrible day? Bucky knew it was probably just a reflex, born of being trained to be the consummate businessman since he was a kid, but it never failed to make his entire day, leaving Bucky smiling like a fool the whole day long.

He was kind of a ridiculous romantic like that.

It would be easier, maybe, if he thought it was completely one-sided, if it was just a hopeless crush on his part that he could wallow in and then get over. But try as he might, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it wasn’t entirely unrequited. He’d caught Tony giving him a look once or twice, when he thought he wasn’t looking, eyes lingering over his ass or thighs. But more than that, he’d say things sometimes, something innocuous that could almost be taken to mean something else. It wouldn’t be such a big deal, except then he’d get this look on his face. If Bucky blinked he’d miss it, but for just a second his eyes would go wide, and he’d have an ‘oh shit’ look on his face, like he hadn’t meant to let that slip. And then there’d been that long moment, their second appointment. He had been so absolutely sure that Tony was going to ask him out, had held his breath as he waited. 

And then the moment had passed and Tony hadn’t said anything at all. But Bucky couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t imagining it, that he wasn’t the only one who could feel how instantly they had connected, how ridiculously well they got along. 

Bucky had a tendency to flirt as natural as breathing, always had. It had gotten him in trouble once or twice as a kid in school, when he’d been caught kissing girls under the slide on the playground. It was hard for him to tamp that down, when he had Tony on the table, not to make everything sound like an innuendo. Not to turn on the charm, to up their banter, to do everything he could to get that smile out of him and make him laugh until he was just as smitten as Bucky was. He was just so easy to get along with. Maybe it was just the years long crush talking, but Bucky couldn’t help thinking that Tony saw him. He seemed to really get him, to understand him on a more-than-professional level. They had the same stupid sense of humor, the same style of arguing, and Bucky could listen to Tony go off on science tangents for literal hours. And sometimes he’d share things, stories from university, or about his best friend, or the most recent thing he’d done to exasperate his phenomenal PA, and Bucky couldn’t help thinking that these weren’t the kinds of stories that he shared with just everyone. He just wanted to take him out for dinner and learn everything about him, every secret he had. But like, in a sweet, totally non-creepy way. 

And as an added bonus? Good lord, Tony was gorgeous. 

Bucky had always known that, logically. His crush had to come from somewhere. But he was infinitely more gorgeous in person. Sometimes it was really hard not to let his voice drop into something low and wanting and sexy when the lights were dimmed low, and Tony was almost naked on the table, making those noises when Bucky got close to his ass, and all he could think about was dropping to his knees and sucking Tony off until he screamed.

Just the thought had Bucky twitching as he lay in bed, trying to will himself to just go to sleep. He normally tried not to think about it too… vividly, in his day to day. It felt like an invasion of privacy, imagining Tony like that, especially when he frequently dealt with him while the other man was in a pretty vulnerable position. And, irrational though it may have been, there was a part of him that worried that, if he let himself imagine it too much, he might just forget one day, greet Tony with a hot and heavy make out session, or something even worse. 

At night, though… 

Bucky shifted on the bed again, squirming a little as he felt his cock thicken in his shorts. It felt okay at night, when he was lying here in the dark. LIke he was a step removed from it. It was too easy to picture Tony, to imagine that there was something there, that he could just have him, whenever he wanted. It went against every bit of his sense of professionalism, but the idea of fooling around under the guise of giving Tony ‘therapy’ sent a delicious thrill through his stomach, made him groan as it thrummed in his balls. 

“Shit,” Bucky breathed, palming absently over his dick through the silky material. It was fine, he was a grown ass adult who was in complete control of his physical reactions. He wasn’t going to jerk off thinking of Tony (again). He wasn’t. He just had to adjust himself, and…

Bucky hissed out a low breath, eyes rolling back as he gripped himself. He couldn’t resist dragging his thumb up the length of dick, hips jerking when he rubbed just underneath the head. Then he grit his teeth and pulled his hand away, willing his cock to calm the fuck down. He’d just jerked off this morning, he was fine. He huffed loudly, scrubbing a hand over his face. There was an itch on his thigh, and reached down to scratch at it, squeezing his eyes shut like he could somehow force himself to sleep. Instead, his mind offered up the image of warm, brown eyes, Tony’s face scrunching up as he laughed at something Bucky had said; apparently he daydreamed about Tony so frequently now that picturing Tony was automatic. It was just so easy to imagine him, the way his tongue would always dart out, swipe over his lips before he’d suck the lower one between his teeth. It killed Bucky every time. 

He shivered, and abruptly realized that scratching the itch on his thigh had turned to dragging his blunt fingernails back and forth over the hyper-sensitive skin, a light, thrilling, tease. He groaned out loud, tugged at his hair in frustration which backfired spectacularly when it made his cock twitch. 

“Jesus Christ, Barnes,” he said to the empty room. “Pull yourself together.” 

He sat up enough to flip the pillow over to the cool side, flopping back down and turning onto his side so he could shove his face into it, spreading his legs a little to accommodate the weight of his dick. He closed his eyes again, trying to focus on deep breathing, but inevitably his thoughts turned to Tony again. It wasn’t even the top of the list of things that Bucky adored about him, but the man was stupidly beautiful. Picturing his smile, Bucky could imagine himself stepping closer to him, the way Tony’s eyes would drag down his body, catching on his thighs the way they always did, when he thought Bucky wouldn’t notice. As easy as if it had really happened, he could imagine himself moving closer still, Tony’s eyes going wide and dark when Bucky got up in his space, lips parting on a soft breath. Every once in awhile, after a long day, Tony’s normally coiffed hair would be reduced to a mess of curls. Bucky was picturing it like that now, imagining carding his hand through it the way he always wanted, tugging just a little until Tony gasped, head tipping back to look up at him, eyes soft and wide and hungry for it. 

Bucky’s hips jerked involuntarily, and he whined as the motion ground his dick against the mattress, sending a sharp shock of pleasure through his body. God, he just… He wanted so bad, wanted Tony’s hands all over his body, wanted to get his own hands on that gorgeous ass and haul Tony right up tight against him, the two of them grinding against each other, so overwhelmed they couldn’t so much as undress. Wanted to take Tony to bed, spread him out, take his time kissing every inch of his body until he was gasping and pleading, wanted Tony to do the same to him in kind, to feel those calloused fingers wrapped around his cock. 

“Fuck,” he muttered. He’d known all along, really, that this was inevitable, and he pushed down the guilt as he shoved his hand into his shorts, eyes nearly crossing as he closed his fist tight, the pressure sending tingles all the way down to his toes. He wasted no time with teasing himself, jerking off with a steady, firm grip, trying to emulate how he thought Tony, with his technical mind, might set about taking him apart. His hand moved faster at the thought, imagining Tony watching him with a serious expression, cataloguing every shift of his body, every twitch of his face, figuring out how to take him apart in the best possible way. Tony, leaning in close, biting at his lips, crooning at him to go ahead and come, and Bucky… Bucky would… 

His balls drawing up tight, Bucky turned his head back into the pillow as he came, biting down against the fabric so that he didn’t actually let Tony’s name slip past his lips like he desperately wanted. 

After, when he’d kicked off his shorts and cleaned up with the tissues he kept on the bedside table, and lay sprawled out on his back, still catching his breath, he couldn’t help thinking of the afterward. He and Tony laughing goofily, still a little orgasm high. Tony pressing up against his side for cuddles, the way he’d fit perfectly under Bucky’s chin. For a brief moment, his arms actually ached with the desire to just hold him. 

Worse, he was pretty sure he wanted that comfortable intimacy even more than the imagined amazing sex. 

He was a goddamn mess.

***

“Fuck,” Bucky whined, pillowing his head in his arms on the table. 

“Dude.” Sam’s hand grabbed the back of Bucky’s t-shirt, yanking him upright. “What are you doing? We’re in a bar, you freak. Quit embarrassing me in front of the ladies.” 

“What ladies?” Bucky grumbled. “You’re gay, Sam. You’re married. To a man.” 

Sam just shrugged at him, like he was missing the point, and Bucky huffed. 

“You don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like to be in love with someone who doesn’t know you’re alive. You and Rhodes moved in the first night you met.”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because we were roommates. He was fresh off a tour and needed a place? Mutual friend set us up? And then we spent the next few months dancing around each other before we finally admitted we had feelings for each other? Any of this ringing a bell?” Sam shook his head, stealing Bucky’s beer. “Jesus Buck, how much have you had?” 

“Uh… A few?” Bucky offered, because he couldn’t actually remember how much he’d had to drink, waiting for Sam to show up, but now that it had been called to his attention, he was definitely feeling it. 

Sam just shook his head, obviously trying not to smile. “You got it bad, huh?” 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Bucky burst out, waving an arm in the air and narrowly avoiding clipping a server and sending their tray flying through the air. “He’s…” Bucky tried to think of a way to describe how wonderful Tony was, but he’d signed an NDA, and was drunk enough that he couldn’t figure out if it applied here, so it was probably safer not to describe him at all.

“Gotta admit man, never thought you’d go for some corporate schill.” Sam was blatantly laughing at him, and Bucky glared.

“He’s not!” Bucky tried to keep the whine out of his voice. “He’s perfect. He… He’s brilliant, and funny, and so kind. He knows everyone’s names, literally everybody. And… And his body?” He leaned in close, conspiratorial. “Okay, you can’t repeat this, but his first session, he got hard, man. Like, hard. His dick was perfect. I just wanted to drop to my knees and—“

“Jesus.” Sam made a gagging noise. “Too much info, Bucky, come on. I may be gay, but that doesn’t mean I wanna picture you having sex.” 

“Whatever.” Bucky heaved out a sigh again, and this time, when he pillowed his head in his arms, Sam didn’t try to stop him. “I am so fucked.” 

Sam’s hand settled on his back, smacking him in a way that Bucky was pretty sure was intended to be comforting. “It’s okay, man. It’ll get better.”

***

Bucky woke up the next morning with a splitting headache and a numb left arm. For probably a too long moment, he thought he’d just slept on it wrong, cut off circulation and hadn’t woken up enough in the night to roll over. 

And then awareness cut through the hangover as he realized that he couldn’t have lost circulation because he didn’t have a left arm. Cursing under his breath, he pulled himself to a sitting position, wincing at the bright sunlight that was filtering through the window -- drunk Bucky was a dick, who hadn’t bothered closing the curtains. The prosthetic was completely dead, and he couldn’t help glaring at it like he could somehow will it back to life through sheer force of his irritation. This had happened once or twice before (the arm going dead, not the willing it back to functioning part), but it was a pain in the ass to reset, and he squinted at it as he tried to remember the proper sequence. It was entirely too early in the morning to be dealing with this shit, and he kind of wanted to punch his past self in the face for drinking this much on a work night. 

Eventually he dragged himself out of bed and into his kitchen, knocking back a glass of water and a couple advil and digging through his junk drawer until he found the instructions he’d written out the last time this had happened. He sat at the kitchen table as he opened the hidden control panel and followed the instructions, rubbing his face and then leaning into his right hand, half dozing as he waited for the reset to complete.

And then he yelped and nearly jumped out of his chair when, instead of the normal return of sensation that he’d expected, there was a sharp, jarring buzzing feeling, stretching from his fingertips right up through the nerve connectors that let him use the arm with a thought. “Aw, fuck,” he grit out, the sensation making his teeth clench and his head throb. There was an emergency shut off button -- he’d always pictured the arm going rogue and trying to murder people -- and he practically slammed it now, slumping in relief as the arm went back to being dead weight. 

“Well, fuck,” he mumbled out loud. “That’s probably not covered in the instruction manual.” He sighed, weighing his options. There was no way he’d be going in to work today; even if he could get an appointment with the prosthetics team, it would likely take up a fair chunk of his day, and until he got in, he didn’t think anyone would be thrilled with a one-armed massage. Which colossally sucked, because it was his standing appointment with Tony today, and he’d been looking forward to it all week. 

For a minute he was tempted to go in anyway, maybe get his other appointments covered but meet with Tony, ask him about it personally. Even if he hadn’t worked on it himself, the man was a genius. He’d probably have some idea of what the problem was. But Bucky knew he wasn’t really going to do that, tempting as the thought of Tony working on him personally was. He’d be cheating Tony out of massage appointment, for one thing, and while he’d gotten to know Tony well enough that he was pretty sure he wouldn’t actually mind, it just felt like a little too much of an abuse of his position for him to really be comfortable with it. 

Of course, when he finally got through to the prosthetics department, and it turned out it was going to be a three week wait before he could even get in to see somebody, and who knew how long after that before the damn thing was actually fixed, he was kind of regretting his decision. But hey, maybe Sam was right and this was the ‘getting better’ that he had been talking about. Some space from Tony would probably be good, really, let him adjust to his feelings, maybe give him the chance to accept that it was never going to happen and move on. 

He kept trying to tell himself that, but he couldn’t shake the ache at not knowing when he’d even have the chance to see Tony again. 

***

Tony’d had the morning from hell -- board meetings were awful on a good day, and when he had to spend the entire time arguing with a bunch of old men who didn’t even understand what they were talking about, it made them even worse -- but that didn’t stop him from humming to himself from lunchtime on. It was probably a sign of just how far gone he was, but knowing he was seeing James in just a few hours kept his mood up. He’d been talking with one of his work contacts at JPL the night before, and he’d mentioned some new developments that he knew James was going to lose his mind over. He was practically bouncing by the time he finally headed off for his appointment, all but bursting into the room. 

“Hey, so, guess what I just hea… Hi.” He blinked, bemused, as he was met with Louise instead. Recovering quickly, he offered her a bright smile. “Hey Louise!” 

She grinned back at him. “Hey, Tony.” Her eyebrows arched. “Long time no see.” There was something knowing in her gaze, and Tony shifted a little. 

“Yeah, uh… I guess my appointments got switched over to James, when he started working here.”

“Mmmm. Lucky you then, huh?” Louise gave him a wink. “He’s a gorgeous boy.”

And sure, of course he was, but that didn’t really explain why he wasn’t here. Louise didn’t offer any further comments on James though, just set about beginning the session, and Tony just went along with it. He was missing some social cues sometimes, but he was pretty sure demanding to know what happened to his other massage therapist would be rude at best. 

Still, despite the small talk, and Louise’s story about her trip to Prague, Tony couldn’t stop thinking about James, wondering where he was and if everything was okay. He lasted about fifteen minutes -- thankfully managing to catch an appropriate break in the conversation, before he couldn’t wait any longer and had to ask. 

“So, uh…” He closed his eyes, even though Louise couldn’t see his face anyway, and hoped that he wasn’t as obvious as he thought he sounded. “Where is James, today?” He was struck by the sudden fear that he’d made him comfortable enough to want to quit, or at least not face Tony again, and felt himself tense up. “Hope everything’s alright?” 

If Louise felt his back go tight, she didn’t comment. “Nah, everything’s fine,” she assured him. “Just a sick day.” 

Immediately Tony’s mind went to the frankly adorable image of James, curled up on his couch with a blanket, coughing and sniffling his way through his Netflix queue. He felt the inexplicable desire to take care of him, and was wondering if it would be overstepping to send him get-well flowers, or maybe soup from that tiny hole-in-the-wall diner over in Alphabet City, when he realized that Louise was still talking. 

“He mentioned something about his prosthetic not working. Said it would be a few weeks before he even gets in for an appointment, so it’ll probably be awhile before he’s back.” 

And okay, if Bucky’s arm was acting up, that was… Well, embarrassing was what it was, since it was a Stark Industries product, but more importantly, that was something that Tony could fix. He was barely conscious for the rest of the massage, mind already whirling a mile a minute as he thought of all the ways he could improve the prosthetic, how he could tailor it, increase the sensation, bring up the response time. He didn’t know what James needed specifically, but it would be easy enough to bring up the schematics for the most recent improvements, see what more could be done -- especially if he stepped in personally. 

He’d had an informal business dinner that evening, but he cancelled it as soon as Louise left the room, almost forgetting to get dressed again in his hurry to get back to his personal lab. The second he’d had JARVIS bring up the necessary schematics, he’d been beset upon by ideas, had worked through night, pausing only for a couple hours sleep on the cot he kept down there before he was back at it again. 

It was… Sometime the next day when Pepper came in, arching an eyebrow at the pants and rumpled shirt that he was still wearing from the day before. “Well. Someone’s been busy.” 

Tony hummed out a distracted answer, and Pepper stepped closer, her other eyebrow shooting up when she realized what he was working on. 

“Really, Tony?” 

Tony did look up then, eyes wide as he tried to hide his guilty expression. “What?” he asked, a little defensively. “It’s a matter of professional pride.” Pepper didn’t answer, and Tony huffed, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest. “The prosthetic stopped working! This is an SI product, and we have to stand by our products, and -- DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, PEPPER!” 

Pepper just sighed sympathetically and then leaned over, kissing his temple. “Just don’t work yourself too hard, okay? I know how you tend to throw yourself into things when you’re personally invested, and…” She pressed her palm flat against his chest, right over his heart so there’d be no mistake of what she meant. “Just take care of yourself, Tony. Make sure you eat. Get some actual rest,” she told him, heading for the door again. “And maybe take a shower!” she called back over her shoulder. “You kind of stink.” 

Tony had rolled his eyes, refusing to let her see how genuinely touched he was by her obvious concern, and though he did shower and even ordered an entire pizza, he still worked through the weekend. By Monday morning, he had a working prototype, one that was specifically tailored to James. And while he’d been supremely tempted to track down James’s address and show up with the arm as a surprise, possibly while wearing a trench coat and nothing else, he was pretty sure that was the lack of sleep talking, and quite likely a good way to end up calling Rhodey for bail (again). Forcing himself to keep a respectful, professional distance, he had instead taken it over to the prosthetics department, explaining the updates and laying out how they should be applied to all the prosthetics moving forward, and then politely suggesting that, since he’d used him as an example, they should trial it on James, and push up his appointment. Preferably to today. 

Then he’d gone up to the penthouse with plans to collapse into his bed for the next twelve hours.

If he was being totally honest with himself, there was a tiny part of Tony that had thought James would maybe call, that he’d want to thank Tony personally and in the process admit to some reciprocated feelings. But the day passed without so much as a word, and the one after that as well. By Wednesday, Tony caved and called Fred in prosthetics, who assured him that Mr. Barnes had in fact been fitted with the prosthetic arm on Monday, as… suggested, and had seemed inordinately pleased with it. 

So that was that.

Tony tried to tell himself it didn’t matter, that maybe James wouldn’t have known just how much of an overhaul the arm had received, or even realized that Tony had been the one to do it. Tried to tell himself that it wasn’t a rejection, that it hadn’t changed anything between them. Or hell, maybe it was a rejection. Either way he had to move on with his life. He was going to Rhodey and Sam’s that night for tacos -- because they were that married couple -- so he could focus on the people he knew loved him back. 

Of course, this newfound resolve lasted long enough for him to let himself in the front door of the house and throw himself on the couch, ignoring Rhodey’s attempts at beating whatever video game he was playing in favour of shoving his head in his lap. “Rhodeyyy,” he whined. “I don’t understand. Why doesn’t he just love me?” 

“Oh jesus,” Rhodey muttered, making a half-hearted attempt to shove Tony’s face off his knee. 

“Rude. You’d think you’d have more sympathy. I very clearly remember more than one occasion of having to pour you into bed after getting drunk and crying over your ‘unrequited’ love for Sam.” 

Rhodey gave an exaggerated sigh. “Oh boy. Here we go again.” 

Tony ignored that, snuggling in closer. “This would be easier with you, Honeybear. Even if you worked for me, you’ve never taken me seriously anyway, no abuse of power, right? Let’s start dating again!” 

Giving up on his video game, Rhodey rubbed a hand over his forehead. “I’m with Sam now!”

“That’s fine! The more the merrier!” 

“Oh my god,” Rhodey muttered, laughing despite himself. 

“I built him a new arm, Rhodey!” 

“What’s going on now?” Sam asked, walking into the room with a round of beer and an arched eyebrow, and the impeccable timing of a man sensing that his husband was in need of rescue.

“Don’t ask,” Rhodey told him, not quite cutting off Tony as he launched into a very detailed overview of his long and tragic love story. Rhodey covered his mouth. “Tony’s pining again,” he added succinctly, before scrunching up his face when Tony licked his hand in retaliation. 

“Ah,” Sam laughed sympathetically, sliding the bottles across the table as he settled into the armchair. “Your physiotherapist, right?” 

“Close enough,” Tony muttered, finally pulling away so he could sit up and drink the beer without spilling it all over himself -- never let it be said that Tony didn’t learn from his mistakes. “Point being, I’m in a position of power. If I make any kind of a move I’m gonna be that guy, which is the last thing I want. And then it’s all. ‘Does he really want me? Did he say yes because he thought he had to? Is that gonna define our whole relationship?’ That’s if he even feels that way.” Sam was eyeing him suspiciously, and Tony finally sighed, giving him a somewhat dirty look. “Okay, what? Are you making fun of me too?” 

“No, I’m not making fun of you,” Sam assured him. 

“I am,” Rhodey muttered, just loud enough for Tony to hear. Sam ignored him. 

“I’ve just got the strangest sense of deja vu right now. I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”

“Probably because it’s the only conversation Tony has lately,” Rhodey offered. “And I’ve recounted it to you so many times that you feel like you were there.” 

Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “Hey Rhodes? Fuck you.” 

Of course, Rhodey couldn’t take that lying down, and they very quickly devolved into a wrestling match, with added effect of Sam worrying so much about the two of them destroying the antique vase inherited from his grandmother that he completely forgot to try and parse out why the conversation had seemed so familiar. 

***

At least, he forgot about it until the next day, when he was meeting Bucky for lunch. He’d barely sat down when Bucky came bursting into the restaurant, looking around wildly. He spotted Sam and nearly knocked over an entire (thankfully empty) table in his rush to get to him. 

“Holy shit!” he yelped, apparently uncaring of the dirty look that earned him from the elderly couple a few tables over. “Guess what he did!” 

Sam blinked at him, utterly lost. “Guess what… Who did what now?” 

Apparently too overwhelmed to properly explain, Bucky started waving his left arm wildly through the air, catching his water glass and nearly sending it flying. “He built me an entirely new fuckin’ arm, Sam.” 

For the briefest of moments, Sam thought he was having an entire out of body experience. “He… He built you an arm,” he repeated weakly. Bucky was too busy gesticulating and waxing poetic to notice as Sam’s mind melted for a minute. “Of course he did. Because my idiot and Rhodes’s idiot are the same fuckin’ pair of idiots.” 

And then, because he wouldn’t be a real friend if he didn’t try to get the maximum amount of possible entertainment out of this, he grinned. 

“Hey, Buck? Why don’t you come with me ‘n Rhodey to the SI gala tomorrow night? Rhodey’s got a… contact. I’m sure we could get you an extra ticket. And hey, maybe your hunk of handsome’ll be there, huh?”

The way that Bucky’s face went pale, mouth opening and closing like he couldn’t even comprehend the idea, was absolutely priceless. 

@tonystarkbingo 

[moonraccoon-exe]

For @gladnisweek , Day 2

Prompt: “OMG, so drunk…”

Warnings: Mentions of attempt of the attempt itself of sexual assault.

You can also find this on AO3 here.

(Tried and failed to come up with a title, so just have the story, dammit.)

 Usually, by that time of the night Gladiolus would already be asleep.

Even more that day, he had so many more reasons to put himself in bed and ignore the rest of the world until the following morning. Despite what others could think of him, he did not enjoy staying up until too late. He was a grown man, mature enough to difference when it was fine to party and stay up late, and when he needed to follow his schedules as they were set, even the non-official and personal ones. He had to wake up as early as usual for his morning run before work and diverse lessons at the Citadel, that night was not to party or stay up late even if he wanted. Which he did not; that day he had had a particularly rough and extra heavy training with the Marshal and finished wrecking himself training the prince, who, for his bad luck for once, had been particularly energetic. And that meeting that lasted an hour past the work shift, plus all the after duties…

Gladio was wrecked and, gods, there was nothing he wanted more than his bed as soon as he left the Citadel. It was his father’s turn to keep the night watch nearby the king’s chambers, so he had to take the oh so boring duty of driving back home as tired as he was. Sincerely, all that he had wanted was to go straight to his bed. He did stop to say hello to Iris and help her a bit with her homework. As exhausted, he still thought it rude to deny dinner when the house butler had already prepared it. Even just the action of chewing was tiring and Gladio only wanted a comfy mattress with warm and cozy blankets and his bunch of pillows and not see anyone else until the next morning, which he planned to do when he reached his room and collapsed in bed.

He had gotten a few hours of sleep…that were interrupted by his phone.

He had set it on silence because he did not want anybody to interrupt his sleep, but the thing could still buzz. It kept buzzing and buzzing, at first entirely ignored and the sound drowned under Gladio’s own snoring, but it buzzed for so long it shut the man up, and eventually woke him up.

The young Shield groaned out of complete exasperation, long and low, and turned to see the hour in the digital clock. One in the morning. Absolutely fucking fantastic.

He groaned louder, gripping at his own hair. What kind of stupid, fucking asshole was phoning him at this hour precisely that night!?

Acknowledging it could be related to his duties in some way, Gladio felt forced to not ignore the damn phone. Frowning and snorting like an angered beast, Gladio reached for his phone, only able to open one eye while the other was strongly shut, and he looked at the screen.

Fifteen missed calls, and five messages.

All from Ignis.

Gladio softened out of seeing it was a close friend and not some random idiot Glaive or attendant. But, more than anything, the anger was entirely replaced with concern; it was not new to see Ignis was awake at such an hour (did the man ever sleep at all?), but…the quantity of missed calls and messages. From Ignis. Ignis “I don’t want to be a bother to anyone” Scientia, spamming him. It was something rather new. Still, he assumed that had it been something particularly dangerous or if Ignis was majorly injured, he would have activated his Alert signal instead of phoning him.

Ignis messaging and looking for him at one in the morning. Curious and a bit worried, Gladio opened the messages.

11:30 pm: Gladiolus? Apologies, are you awake?

12:08 am: I don’t mean to sound needy, but if you could pick up the phone…

12:39 am: Gladio?

12:45 am: I believe you must be asleep by now, I had hoped you had taken a bit before going to bed. If you are awake and just ignoring for whatever reason, please do pick up the phone. It’s important. 

1:02 am: I don’t know who else I could contact. I don’t mean to be a bother. Please tell me you’re awake.

Gladio squinted the eyes and sat up, a bit more worried by now. It did not sound particularly urgent, but this was coming from Ignis. Considering who had written this, it did feel rather worrying.

‘Hey, Iggy. ‘m sorry for taking so long. Are you okay?’

It did not take even a minute. Which Gladio was not sure if was more or less worrying.

- Until now, yes. Thank Shiva you answered.

- Hey, Igs, it’s fine. What’s the matter?

- Gladio, I am so drunk.  

…well, that…that was very new. Not that Ignis never got drunk, he had his moments every now and then when he was among people he trusted intimately, Gladio himself included. Ignis had also gotten drunk when Gladio was not present, that was not new. But for Ignis to start phoning and messaging him just for that, it was a bit odd. He never drank if there was not a designed driver, nor alone, so he should have no reasons to phone him.

- lol - So whatcha want me to do?

- Gladio, it was not the plan. - It’s not the normal kind of drunk. - I believe somebody adulterated my drink.

Gladio needed no other message.

He basically propelled himself out of his bed, leaving his safe haven of pillows and blankets, and searched in the dark for his shoes, clumsily but successfully putting them on. He grabbed his green jacket and put it on as he walked out of his room and down the hallway, straight to the stairs. By the time he reached the living room area he heard noises from upstairs, and Jared appeared there, holding the railing and staring at Gladio with sleepy and confused, altered eyes. He had asked if there was anything he needed, but Gladio gently denied him and told him he would go pick up a friend, and asked the butler to go back to bed. A bit startled, Jared obeyed and only looked above his shoulder to watch the young Amicitia exit and lock the door behind himself.

While Gladio reached and started the car, he messaged Ignis again.

Okay, can you tell me where you are or is it better if you send me your location?  

Ignis did not type anything. He sent the location map straight away. Gladio stared at it with a frown; what the hell was Ignis doing at a local bar? They had work the following day, unless Ignis had been given a free day or something. And who was he with? Had he gone alone?

Gladio decided to leave the questions for another moment, set the phone’s map as he had no idea how to get there, and typed out a quick message while getting on the road.

- You stay where you are, Ig. Don’t you dare move from that spot. 

-I don’t mean to be a bother, Gladio. If you could come or send anyone, I believe that would be wise.

-Already on my way.

-Be careful.

Such an Ignis thing to do, even when drunk, to wish Gladiolus a safe drive while Ignis himself was in greater risk. Gladio did not even reply, and only cursed under his breath while he kept driving trying to go as fast as possible without speeding past the limits. The least he wanted was having to stop for a chat with cops when his best friend and crush was drunk, drugged against his will, and who knows with who-the-fuck doing or trying who-knows-fucking-what to or against him. What had led Ignis to that situation? The man was the smartest creature Gladiolus had ever known and the smartest in possibly centuries, it was not much his style to end up in this kind of situation.

It was a fifteen-minute drive from his home, not as close as Gladio may have wished and it felt like an eternity. His phone had not buzzed since that last message, but he had sincerely hoped Ignis would not be the selfless creature he was that worried on not distracting Gladio at the wheel and could just send a fucking message to know he was at least in a position where he could do that. Gladio parked a bit too quickly and in one movement, which left the car as an inconvenient obstacle for others, but it was not like there were many cars at that hour outside or like he would take long. He did not plan to.

The guard had tried to stop him, had glanced at him from head to toe maybe examining Gladio’s pajama clothing, but Gladio insisted, had brain enough to stop before he started a fight, and then explained ‘a friend was waiting for him inside’, which made the guard move aside and let him in. That, or his looks. Maybe earning that scar was working for some purpose, he could scare others and open his path through when needed.

He entered and stopped at the entrance to get a look of all the place without letting anyone exit without him noticing. So many ladies and gentlemen, but where was he?

Gladio thought maybe searching in the bathroom. He thought that maybe Ignis had escaped from his attacker, whether he knew them or not, by going into the bathroom to message and phone Gladio. The gods damn, the Shield kept cursing under his breath, feeling guilt eating him out; if only he had not been a lazy scumbag that preferred to sleep, if only he had answered at the first call…

He continued glancing around in his way to the bathroom but did not spot any familiar face. Putting all his hopes that Ignis was in the bathroom and that he had not been forced outside, Gladio took in a subtle but deep breath and opened the door.

His heart almost dropped when the pair of blazing green eyes found him.

“Gladio!” Ignis, down on a knee nearby a corner, had looked up when the door opened and he was looking at Gladio with what the Shield could swear was…fear. Ignis, scared. That was new, too. And absolutely heartbreaking. The man stood up and hurried towards Gladio, who hurried towards him as well but could not stop staring, and got to analyze Ignis in only a few seconds; his hair looked a bit messed, and he was entirely pale, so pale it was a bit sickening. His eyes looked rounded by black and a hint of red, as if he had bawled his eyes out except it was not the case. They reached each other and the adviser threw his arms around him, holding tight onto him like longtime friends that meet after years. Gladio hugged him back firmly, wrapping his arms around that slender but strong waist and pressing his palms flat on his back. He felt one of Ignis’ hands on his head and the other around his shoulders. He was trembling lightly. “Thank the Six, I was starting to panic…”

“I am so sorry I took so long to answer the damn phone” Gladio apologized and squeezed his friend a bit tighter. “It’s fine, Iggy, let’s get you out of here” they broke apart and Gladio hurried on reaching a hand up to hold his friend’s chin gently, making him look up at him. “How are you?”

“Astrals” Ignis sighed, “I am so drunk” he stared away and Gladio let him. “I feel terrible, I…made it worse than it was, I…” the man stopped, passing a hand through his hair and looking concerned. “…when I realized that he had put something in my drink, I…tried phoning you, but…it is not your fault, what was I thinking coming here so late and thinking you were awake?” Ignis continued digressing for a moment before he said anything important again. “I was insecure about leaving this place with him; if I was as bad already, the hit of air on my face would worsen it and I…” he shook the head and his hands went to grip at Gladio’s arms. “…I had taken the bathroom as excuse too many times and he insisted we left, so…all that I thought to not leave was…I-I told him I still wanted some drinks and I…” by that point, Ignis lowered the head and looked like he was at the edge of tears. He breathed in a choked sob and closed the eyes. “Gladio, this is my fault, I drank when I was already drunk as excuse to not leave and I kept drinking and now I’m drunk and drugged against my will and I am a terrible person and this is my fault…”

Astrals, Ignis was in a terrible drunken state. When drunk he tended to get pretty dramatic, but this was already more than Gladio was used to witness. The Shield stared at him some moments, feeling more guilt about not coming earlier, and seeing Ignis start to cry in front of him.

“Come now, Iggy, it’s not on you” Gladio comforted him and put his hands on Ignis as well, but the man continued silently crying and whispering things on how this was his own fault. “Who did this to you?”

“…you are going to be mad at me” Ignis murmured after a small pause, hands moving to his own eyes to rub them while he shyly cried. Gladio did not need to insist. “…I-I was given the day free tomorrow, a-and…Cultro asked me to early celebrate my birthday and said ‘Why don’t we have a drink tonight?’ and I…felt…obliged and I did not want to be rude, and I just followed him and I know you’ve told me to get away of him, and I do so- but I was…I-I don’t know…” Ignis sniffled and lowered the head even more. “…he did not seem to have any bad intentions…” 

As soon as he heard the name Gladio’s expression changed. When Ignis finished talking, it all made sense and the young Shield sighed in controlled anger and looked away.

“That son of a bitch….” He murmured, but assumed it was not the time to speak about Ignis’ stubborn and toxic suitor that the two had been pushing away. For too long by now, Gladio realized. “I’m gonna have a real good conversation with him sometime soon, and now you’re not going to stop me.”

“I won’t” Ignis sniffled again, still refusing to look up at him. “I thought he was only stubborn. I mean, he’s a Glaive, I did not think he would dare…”

Betray Ignis’ trust, take him to a bar, adulterate his drink with the Lucii know what, drag him out of the bar somewhere else, take advantage of his barely conscious state and then…

The mere thought gave Gladio shivers. He shook the head to get rid of it, but he still wondered how sick somebody had to be to do that sort of thing. How sick somebody had to be to care only on Ignis’ body and claim it as a prize even when his mind was lost and switched off. How sick somebody had to be that he, after realizing Ignis was no fragile princess and could beat the heck out of him in self-defense, decided to best knock him off his senses to have a huge and unfair advantage. Gladio decided he would make Cultro understand what the fucking meaning of ‘No’ was. He had harassed Ignis enough, this was far beyond the limits of what Gladio would tolerate.

“That’s fine, Iggy” Gladio murmured to him, softly. “It’s not your fault. You trusted and were betrayed.”

Ignis only nodded very weakly after a pause, head still lowered. Gladio felt the hundredth pinch of guilt that night and, moved, he reached close to hug Ignis again. The younger man was a bit startled but did not return the hug nor was he given time before Gladio broke apart again and wrapped an arm around the adviser’s shoulders, whispering a ‘Let’s go’ before he started guiding Ignis towards the door. Ignis was not one to lose balance while walking when drunk, so the fact that the man was going very slow and stumbling only did but worry him; not only was Ignis terribly drunk, he was also drugged. He was still pale and sweated coldly. Thank the Astrals he had not fallen unconscious or something as bad.

Gladio helped him out of the bathroom, taking Ignis’ pace, and looked around. He had not seen the Glaive when he entered, and there was no sign of him anywhere this second time. The Shield assumed the most simple and usual; as soon as Cultro saw him nearby, he fled away like a pathetic thing. Gladio internally growled and remembered to remember that Cultro had also abandoned Ignis when in this terrible state just to save his own ass.

Eventually, Gladio managed to take Ignis out of the bar. When the air hit him the adviser hesitated and stumbled, so Gladio’s first reaction was to pick him up in arms. With how poisonous the Glaive was and how much hatred he felt towards Gladio, he would not be surprised if the man appeared out of the blue and attacked him, knowing Gladio would not attack or defend himself if that put Ignis to risk in some way and taking advantage of that fact. Gladio kept Ignis half-hugged and leaned down to scoop him up from the floor. All that the adviser did was to offer a little groan of surprise and hid the face in the crook of Gladio’s neck, as if embarrassed. The Shield hurried to his dad’s car and unlocked it, putting Ignis down only for a moment to open the backdoors for him, before helping him inside and closing the door after him.

When Gladio started the engine, he looked back at Ignis and told him he was safe now and that he should get some rest. The adviser, still looking rather terrified (though it was possibly mostly out of feeling terrible rather than scared at all), had gently denied him, and proceeded to go on a rant of how this was his fault, how inappropriate it would be to lie down in the car, about how horrible he was by ‘touching the magnificent Lord Clarus’ car with my drunken, disgusting ass’ and other matters while Gladio started the engine and drove away of the bar. He slowed down and stopped only for a moment to reach for Ignis, put a hand to his mouth, make a gesture asking for silence and gently pushed him down on the seats. Inevitably, Ignis fell asleep in less than a minute after Gladio started driving again. From time to time he glanced at the rearview mirror to stare at Ignis, see if he was less pale or had stopped sweating coldly, or just to see him. There was something incredibly sweet and reassuring about seeing him there, terribly drunk and asleep in the backseats. It was like a reminder that his friend and crush was safe and sound, peacefully asleep, and not in the Six know where with the Astrals know who.

Gladio did not drive him to Ignis’ place or mister Scientia’s. Who knew if the man was in his house (as he used to spend most at the Citadel, as first attendant to the king), and he did not dare nor want to leave Ignis alone in such a state. So, as simple, he drove to his own house with no hesitation. The ride was quiet in many ways; despite the nocturnal life of Insomnia, there were almost no other cars driving around, almost no people in the streets, and Ignis was peacefully asleep. After the fifteen-minute drive, Gladio parked and opened the backdoor to pick Ignis outside, but he found the man had curled nearby the other door. Gladio rounded the car and opened the other door, just to find Ignis had moved to curl nearby the first.

Turned out that Ignis was not asleep; he had woken up and refused to get out of the car.

“I am a piece of unworthy garbage with no value” Ignis was explaining while Gladio tried to talk him into coming out of the car. “What sort of strategist am I? I cannot look at you to the eyes. Leave me alone.”

Despite the terrible and sad things Ignis was saying, Gladio could not help a little smile and chuckle. A drunken, extra dramatic Ignis was rare, sad, and a bit amusing to see. He behaved like a stubborn child, a sad man amplifying his problem to dramatic levels, and a bit like an adorable if a bit scared puppy. Gladio ended up trying to crawl into the backseats to drag Ignis outside, just to be received by yelped-out dramatic ‘No’s and some attempts of kicks to the face, so he changed strategy and tried opening the door Ignis was closest to, but the man kept moving from one to the other while Gladio ran around the car trying to be faster than him. In the end, and as Ignis’ mind was not clear enough to function as brilliantly as it normally did, Gladio ended up tricking him and being able to drag him out of the car. When the fight was clearly lost, Ignis stopped complaining and dropped his dead weight on Gladio for the Shield to carry him piggyback into the house.

They were received by Jared, but Gladio again asked him to get some sleep and that he would get in charge of things. The man was not as young as he used to be and Gladio did not want to bother him like a spoiled brat. Jared still offered to arrange the guest’s room while Gladio prepared some tea for his friend, which the young Shield accepted.

Gladio tried to have Ignis sit on the sofa and not move; Ignis tended to get as anxious as dramatic when drunk, so catching him was a good sport whenever the adviser had too many cups. He insisted on walking in circles, going places, all as he talked things usually about blaming himself for something. The Shield, exhausted but not calm until Ignis was attended, prepared him a good and healthy tea to help clean his stomach, chased Ignis when the man tried leaving the house, and put him back on the sofa. He stayed awake and sat nearby while Ignis quietly sipped from the tea, slow and making long pauses to randomly sob once as if he had been furiously crying all the time, or to stare at the tea like it was a shiny pebble that he could not understand.

It was an hour before Ignis finished his cup. Before really bringing him to the guest’s room, Gladio guided and helped Ignis into the bathroom when the man threw up. Gladio took his glasses from him so he would not accidentally drop them and kept the palm soft and flat on Ignis’ back, drawing slow and gentle circles on it while the adviser dry heaved, threw up, or just breathed heavily while holding to the toilet. That was the first time it happened to him; the drama and anxiety were normal to different levels, but Ignis had never before thrown up out of drinking.

…which, needless to say, triggered him into another terrible drama. Ignis’ dramas were dramatic on their own because he either cried or just laid somewhere on the floor, stubborn and refusing to get up, and just murmuring awful things about himself.

Gladio spent yet another half-an-hour sat in the bathroom with Ignis thrown on his side in a corner calling himself all sort of disgusting names in mumbles, before the Shield could just not allow this to continue, laughed softly both sad and amused, and scooped Ignis up from the floor.

The adviser comically (to Gladio, at least) tried to smack him, but started crying as soon as his hand touched Gladio’s shoulder, and he dropped his dead weight on him again. Gladio did laugh this time and only murmured a low ‘Oh, Iggy’, before bringing him to the kitchen. He offered Ignis water to clean his mouth and a few mint candies for the breath, which the adviser accepted. It was after gods-know-how-long that Ignis was done over cleaning his mouth and eating the candies that he accepted the offer of a bed. Even though the adviser was showing less troubles with walking, Gladio preferred to not take any risks and asked Ignis if it was fine if he carried him once more. Ignis offered no complaints. Indeed, he did not even answer. He just put the arms around Gladio’s neck and dropped himself as if saying ‘Whatever, not like I care anymore’.

With yet another low laugh, Gladio picked him as he could (what with how much Ignis was enjoying on dropping dead weight on him) and made his way upstairs and through the hallways. Thankfully, Iris had not opened her door so she must have been dead asleep. Gladio took Ignis to the guest room, clean and looking comfy. The Shield did not bother on turning on the lights to not put Ignis down; he went straight to the bed and sat Ignis there. The adviser insisted on not making eye contact with him, looking terribly ashamed of himself. So terrible and so much he refused to “deserve any of your kindness” that Gladio himself had to undress him to his underwear and dress him again in some comfy and warm pajamas. Ignis only either dropped a tear or two, or mumbled about how Gladio “should drop him in the trashcan” and about how much of a “disgusting visitor” he was in the “Amicitia palace”. The last word made Gladio laugh while he was taking Ignis’ socks off and putting warm and clean ones on instead. Not like Ignis’ were dirtied, Gladio only wanted him to feel extra cozy.

Ignis either did not notice or did not care nor did it find startling that Gladio fully changed him. Once Gladio was done, he pulled down the sheets except on the spot Ignis was sat on, and waited for the adviser to lie down. Which did not happen, of course.

“Iggy” Gladio laughed. “Just lie there, it’s very late. You have to sleep.”

“I am unworthy, Gladio” Ignis said in a thread of a voice, still refusing to make eye contact and looking terribly sad. “I have shown to own close to no value. Why should I sleep?”

“Iggy, that doesn’t make sense” Gladio laughed softly and lowly, sitting down at Ignis’ side. “You have value. Now lie there and sleep.”

“I don’t” Ignis closed the eyes and lowered the head. “I have been raised with only two sole purposes in life. Two. Twenty…almost twenty-one years being raised to turn into the prince’s wise adviser and the most sharp-eyed strategist of Eos” Ignis opened the eyes again and looked down at himself as if analyzing his body. “And this is how it’s worked. Tricked into a bar by a toxic suitor, drugged without noticing, and having to phone my...” he gestured at Gladio with his hands and scanned him with the eyes as if not finding the words to describe him, and getting upset because of that “..knight in shining armor so he can rescue me and carry me in arms because all that I could do when I saw the dragon was cry.”

Gladio raised the eyebrows at the ‘my knight’ part, and laughed. He felt his face become red and he stared away, still laughing, but Ignis was still serious and sad.

“I am supposed to see people’s intentions from the very first sight I have of them. I’ve been followed by him for about a year now and…this was so obvious, yet I did not see it” Ignis lamented, teeth clenching as if angered. “And, okay, we can let that go and excuse it behind how I blindly trusted an ally. Which makes me a pathetic excuse of a strategist and adviser anyway, because you do not blindly trust anyone, not even yourself. But let’s suppose in some level of the universe it’s acceptable” Gladio smiled, amused and just stared warmly at Ignis as he continued. “But then I did not notice when he put…the…whatever he put in my drink. I did not see it. It happened under my nose, it had to happen while I was looking, I basically had my eye at an inch from the glass, Gladio” Ignis dropped the hands and stared up with teary eyes like this was a tragedy. “And I did not see it. I did not see it, Gladio, do you know what that means?”

Gladio, still smiling, raised an eyebrow at him and shook the head softly.

“That means that I am the worst, most awful, most terrible, less sharp-eyed strategist that has ever breathed in this or any other universe” Ignis put his hands to his face and dropped the head again, sobbing but Gladio was not sure if he really was crying or if this was his ‘drunk-drama-crying’. “I could not see somebody altering my drink right in front of my eyes, how do you expect me to- I cannot- I have the poorest- no, the entire opposite to sharp-eye, I have a…blunt eye.”

Gladio laughed quietly again. He was sure that was not the concept Ignis was looking for, but he let him be. Ignis sighed and shook the head.

“I have no value anymore, Gladio” he lamented. “I don’t deserve such a thing like sleep.”

“Ignis, control yourself” Gladio knew he should be concerned, but he could not help a little laugh. The adviser kept the head down, silent and completely down in the dumps. The Shield smiled like a mother would do to her son after he just lost an important competition. His voice. “Hey. Iggy. Come on, look at me” but the adviser refused to do so, quietly. Whenever Gladio tried to grab him, Ignis weakly got rid of his grasp and kept the head down. “Come now, Iggy.”

“I do not deserve to be called the prince’s adviser, or royal strategist” Ignis murmured, a hand moving up so he cleaned his own nose. “I don’t deserve this treatment. I don’t deserve to be in a bed in the Amicitia palace. This holds…too much honor, and I am a poor excuse of a strategist…” he sighed. “…and I’m drunk.”

Gladio smiled a bit amused that drunken-Ignis still thought this was a palace, but he made no comment about that.

“Hey, Iggy, don’t say that stuff” he said softly, moving so he was sitting closer to his friend. “You are a wonderful strategist, and the best adviser Noctis could have ever wished for” he saw the strategist move the eyes in his direction for a moment. “Even the greatest and the smartest make a mistake from time to time. And what do you make out of mistakes?”

“…I quit my job?”

“You learn, you sack of chips!” Gladio said with a tiny warm laugh. He brought his legs up to the bed so he was sitting on it leg-crossed like Ignis, in front of him. “This doesn’t take any value from you; on the opposite, learning from it will give you even more” by that point Gladio was almost murmuring. He waited a moment and then saw Ignis’ eyes moving up, head staying down, to make eye contact. He smiled at the poor drunken adviser. “Don’t be so dramatic, Iggy. It’s okay. You’re wonderful and you know it.”

There was a long pause after that. Ignis lowered the eyes again, and after another pause he nodded. He moved a hand up again to rub at one of his eyes as if to stop it from crying before he even started.

“…you are so good to me, Gladiolus” Ignis murmured. “…too good. Even if I’m not too bad, I don’t know if I deserve this treatment from you” Gladio’s smile grew smaller and his eyebrows furrowed again; he thought he had already controlled this, but Ignis found a new thing to be sad about. The Shield listened to him in silence. “You woke up in the middle of the night just to answer my call, do what this weakling could not, go all the way across the entire city, took me out of there and you let me sleep in your car, and then you gave me tea and a warm blanket, and then you took my glasses so I wouldn’t drop them when I…” he paused to breathe shakily. “And then you gave me an entire room with my own bed, and I’m just…so touched, Gladio, you just saved my ass. Probably very literally” by that point Ignis cleaned his other eye. The comment had been serious, but Ignis, while not taking it as joke, did not seem to see the real weight of it. “You did not have enough with only saving me out of there, you…you’re doing all this for me, you’re pampering me, this is not necessary, I-I could- I only needed to be taken out, not all this wonderful, marvelous pampering, I should-”

While Ignis started speaking about how he should leave, Gladio hurried a series of quick ‘No’s, and softly reached close to pull Ignis back on the bed and not let him stand up. The young Shield grinned a little amused again, but the gaze remained warm. While he was saying it was fine, Ignis teared up again.

“…see, you’re even taking time to convince this…unworthy sack of chips” Gladio could not help a little laugh at that, “to stay because you still want to give me more of this treatment. It’s like…I don’t know, midnight and you’re awake just to…” Ignis stopped there and looked up at Gladio with big eyes at the time he dramatically gasped and put both hands to his mouth. Gladio blinked at him, tiredly but still attentive. “…Gladio. Gladio…Astrals…Gladio” the young Shield smiled at the multiple calls of his name, but said nothing. “…Gladio, you…you do have work tomorrow…”

“Iggy, don’t mind that” Gladio said while shaking his head softly. As Ignis opened the mouth to complain, he continued to not let him. “Really. Listen, it’s nothing. If I’m awake it’s because I want to.”

Ignis still took a long while just staring at him with wide eyes and the hands close to his mouth. It seemed like the comment only made him tear up even more.

“I don’t deserve this” Ignis dramatically whispered to him, and after a little laugh Gladio got a bit closer.

“Listen, it’s hilarious and everything, but stop saying that” he murmured to Ignis with a bright smile and warm eyes. He paused and reached to hold both of his friend’s arms before continuing. “You do. You deserve this and more. And I don’t care if you’re a good or bad strategist or adviser, you’re my friend, and I care about you. You’re a precious part of my life, sleep can’t compare to your wellbeing. Staying up late is absolutely nothing if that means you’re safe. Okay?” Gladio raised the eyebrows at him at the question, expecting an answer but Ignis only gave him that brokenhearted and almost surprised look. The Shield caressed his arms and did not break eye contact. “No matter the circumstances or what I’m doing, you need help, you call me. I’ll be there. Okay?” when he waited for an answer and received none, he continued. “You’re a wonderful person with the biggest and kindest heart that I know, you’re funny, you’re empathetic and understanding, and you’re incredibly selfless. You do deserve this, and far much more, if by ‘this’ you mean proper care, a bed, and a friend.”

There was a long pause yet again. Gladio did not let go of Ignis’ arms during the even longer pause. After he did, Ignis’ eyes teared up even more. The adviser closed them and stared away, swallowed and waited a bit more before nodding, at first slow and hesitant, and then a little more confident. Gladio whispered a soft ‘Okay’ and they fell in silence once more, until Ignis looked up at him. He raised a hand and pointed at Gladio, and opened the mouth to say something but finger and jaw just trembled for a couple times before he got to say anything.

“You are the opposite to Cultro, you know” Ignis told him and lowered the finger. “You’re kind. You’ve always been so kind to me, and you know what really means caring about someone” Ignis moved a hand up to dramatically clean his teary eyes once more. “You’ve always been so good to me…” after he cleaned his eyes and dropped the hand, he sniffled and made eye contact with Gladio again. “So good to me…”

Once said that, Ignis started moving. Gladio thought he was readjusting himself to sit differently or to finally lie down, but the adviser moved closer to him, on his knees, and rested his hands on Gladio’s strong shoulders. Ignis gently and slowly started dropping himself on the Shield, and wrapped his arms around Gladio’s neck. He leaned closer, eyes fixed on the Shield’s mouth before closing them. Gladio stared at him eye widened and taken off guard.

And, as soon as his crush since-he-was-sixteen leaned close to kiss him, Gladio put a hand up so that Ignis kissed his palm instead.

The adviser opened the eyes when he did not recognize the texture of lips and pulled apart, staring down at Gladio’s hand. The Shield was smiling warmly with a little hint of sadness, and put the hand down. Ignis stared at it still for long seconds, then back up at Gladio, with a look on his face that almost passed as terror. Ignis unwrapped his arms from Gladio’s neck and his hands returned to the Shield’s shoulders, and he stared at Gladio in silence and fear.

“…you don’t want to kiss me” Ignis murmured, took his hands away with shyness, and stared away. “You don’t- Astrals, I know, I should have-…I didn’t ask you for permission, I-I’m…this is exactly what you saved me from and…” he seemed very troubled and a little anxious. “I-I guess- I had understood- that perhaps you could have developed romantic feelings for me, and I thought- and I assumed a second ago that maybe…and I thought perhaps…” Ignis passed a hand through his already messed hair, sighing. “…you don’t want to kiss me.”

“No, I do” Gladio told him, moving a hand up to hold Ignis’ arm again. The adviser stared at the grip and tried making eye contact, but broke it immediately. The Shield smiled, and felt his face burning. “I’ve…always guessed you had realized by this point, I mean…you have a sharp eye” Ignis move the eyes up and tilted the head as if saying ‘well, I guess’, not catching it was a joke besides a statement. “So if you’re admitting you already knew, I guess it’s stupid to keep it in” Gladio sighed as if in defeat and stared away, blushing harder. “I…do want to kiss you. I like you, that way.”

“But then why didn’t you let me?” Ignis asked him. “I- no, I know. It’s because I didn’t ask permission, isn’t it?”

“It’s not that” Gladio smiled and shook the head. “To get a kiss from Ignis Scientia? Gods, you always have my permission” Ignis gave him a confused look. Gladio smiled warmly at him. “But…listen, you handle your emotions very poorly in this state” Gladio explained and, while expecting a complaint, Ignis only sighed and his chin quivered as if accepting it. “You say and do a lot of things you don’t mean. You amplify your reactions. You’re grateful for the treatment that I’m giving you, but you amplify it to the point you want to thank me with a kiss” Gladio stopped for a moment to see if Ignis was following. “But you don’t mean to. Your drunken persona is forcing you to do this” he paused yet again. Ignis was looking at him with almost naïve eyes, and Gladio lowered the voice to a murmur. “I want that kiss. But if I accept it, I am, in some way, taking advantage of you. Wasn’t this why Cultro got you in this state, so that he could do this?” Gladio gave him a tiny smile. “I ain’t doing that.”

Ignis did but stare at him with the same expression than before. Gladio tried to keep eye contact with him, and waited for anything that Ignis had to say. The adviser’s lower lip quivered and his eyes watered again, and Gladio feared he had touched another string.

“…I-I almost kissed you without your consent” Ignis whispered, “and you’re worrying about mine” after that, the adviser let out a choked tiny sob and started rubbing at his eyes again. “My gods, Gladio…you’re husband material.”

The young Shield opened the eyes wide and raised the eyebrows almost midway to his forehead. Well, this was new. Gladio could not help but to furiously blush and laugh, staring away and shaking the head. Drunken Ignis was either a sad case or a hilarious one. Gladio tried to see the compliment behind that; if Ignis amplified the things he was thinking and feeling while drunk, then Gladio could assume that what he had just said could mean ‘I could or not have a little crush on you too’. The idea made him feel a thousand of flowers blooming inside his stomach, lighting up his spirit, but he tried to not keep expectations up. He wished, though. Wished that drunken Ignis could have exaggerated, but was not lying. He really wanted his feelings to be reciprocate…but it was not the moment to talk that.

“Astrals above…” Ignis whimpered quietly. Gladio looked back up at him and found the adviser pressing his palms to his eyes. “I’m hating myself so much right now, because…” he paused to let go of his face and breathe. “I’ll remember. I’ll remember everything that I’ve done and said tonight, and I can’t stop me” Gladio grinned and shook the head, laughing once more. Ignis did not find the fun in that and only stared at him like this was the worst moment of his life. “When this fades, I’ll remember I- oh my Six, I called you ‘my knight in shining armor’, that’s so pathetic…” Ignis whimpered again and, finally, after what had felt like an eternity that was enjoyable to endure, the man dropped backwards until his head met the pillow, but rolled onto his back to hide his face in it. Gladio heard him whimpering again, like a puppy. “And then I tried to kiss you, and then I called you Husband Material, and I’ll remember, the gods damn me, why can’t I- why do-“ Ignis stopped talking to dramatically sob into his pillow like a kid in tantrum. Gladio continued laughing lowly. “I cannot look at you to the eyes, Gladiolus. I won’t. You can’t make me.”

“Hey, I’m not forcing you” Gladio said with a little laugh and stood up from the bed. When he felt the movement, Ignis gasped and pulled himself up, looking over his shoulder, and then hurried himself up on his knees on the bed when he saw Gladio was standing up to leave. Ignis reached for him and grabbed him by an arm with both hands. Gladio gave him a puzzled look. “Anything else you need, Ig?”

“Why are you leaving me?” Ignis asked him at the edge of tears again. “Do you find me disgusting?”

“Ignis, come on” Gladio laughed, turned around and rested a knee on the bed. “I find you to be adorable and stupidly handsome” the Shield smiled. “I’m just leaving because you need to sleep.”

“Sle-” Ignis interrupted himself by gasping and again putting a hand to his mouth before letting go. “Sleep! Sleeping is cruxial” Gladio laughed and gave a low ‘yes, it is’. “And I’m keeping you from sleep. Oh no. Oh, gods, no. I am horrible. I am a terrible- what are you still doing here, Gladio? You should go to bed, I’ve kept you awake for so long, it must be like midnight” Ignis sounded so sincerely panicked that Gladio sat down on the bed again and held his arms, not helping a smile out of Ignis’ terrible measure of time. Ignis grabbed his arms as well and looked at him like this was a life-or-death issue. “Gladio, go to sleep. What are you waiting for?”

“For you to do it first.”

Ignis stared at him for a couple seconds. His next reaction made Gladio laugh again; Ignis let go of him and basically threw himself back down, and shut the eyes in a very miserable attempt of acting like he was asleep. The Shield waited there, grinning and staring at Ignis, just for curiosity to see what the adviser would do next. He saw Ignis opening an eye and looking his way, then shutting it again when he found Gladio staring. The Shield laughed a little more.

“…I’m asleep now” Ignis murmured, and it did not sound like he was playing at all. Ignis was serious, and it only made Gladio laugh more. “Go. You have work tomorrow.”

“Promise you won’t try to sneak out of my house in the middle of the night?” Gladio asked him warmly. Ignis opened the eye again and looked at him for a moment, and then he nodded. The Shield smiled. “Good. Don’t worry about sleeping until late. I’ll leave instructions with Jared so he prepares breakfast for you, alright?”

Ignis seemed to want to argue that, but Gladio raised an eyebrow at him. Apparently turning a little kid when drunk, Ignis shut the mouth again and only nodded, giving him naïve eyes.

“Alright. Now try to get some sleep, okay?” Gladio told him as softly as before. Ignis, once more, nodded. “We can talk about knights in shining armor and husband material tomorrow. I’d like that, and I think so will you.”

Ignis seemed to have gotten the joke, but, instead of laughing, he just tried to kick Gladio weakly, and proceeded to bury the face in the pillow. The Shield smiled and laughed lowly. He stood up from the bed and got closer to Ignis. He leaned down and caressed the adviser’s hair. And, gathering all the courage he could manage to find within himself, he leaned down even more, hesitated and pulled away for a moment, but then got closer again to press a little kiss to Ignis’ head. Tiny. But caring, and loving. And sincere.

“I’m sorry I took so long to answer the phone” he whispered to the adviser. “And I’m sorry that asshole tried to do something as wrong to you. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything like that happen again.”

Ignis did not answer. His body untensed while and after Gladio spoke to him. The Shield continued caressing his hair in an attempt of somehow helping him to fall asleep. Ignis rolled onto his side and looked up at him without taking the head off the pillow. His eyes looked big and exhausted and still pretty much drugged, but they were sincere and innocent. They kept eye contact for a long while, before the adviser offered a little and tired smile. Gladio replied with one of his own and continued caressing his hair.

“…thank you, Gladio” Ignis murmured to him and his smile widened a little. “You’re…always so good to me…”

It was very, drastically quick how Ignis drifted into sleep. As drugged, drunken and with his normal lack of sleep hours, it did not surprise Gladio. One moment Ignis was looking at him, the next he was blinking heavily, his eyelids started fluttering, and in less than four minutes the guy had already fallen asleep. The Shield did not stop caressing his hair all the while, running his fingers through the brown locks and enjoying of the sensation of his fingertips against that scalp. He waited until he was sure Ignis was asleep; eyes softly closed, breath calm and heavy, and confirmed it when he took his hand away and the man did not react. Gladio smiled a last time at him, and bent down to give him another kiss to the head. It felt a little wrong, since he was not his boyfriend or anything, but after such an unexpected way of confessing, he could not help himself. Gladio was just so happy to have him there, absolutely safe, and happy. All that he wanted was for Ignis to stay that way forever.

Gladio picked Ignis’ legs to get the sheets from under them, laid him again and covered him. The adviser, in his sleep, grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it closer, making himself comfortable, letting out a little sigh. Gladio smiled at the sight.

He could have gone straight to bed, but he still took a few more moments for other things that he considered important. He secretly stole Ignis’ wristwatch; he took his phone and switched off all the alarms, just to end up turning the entire device off, so nothing and no one would wake him up. He made sure there were no clocks in the room that could have a set alarm or just a ticking sound (Ignis was an early sleeper in his normal state, and Gladio would not risk having him wake up too soon due to his over-developed senses). He made sure to go to the bathroom and cleaned Ignis’ glasses, leaving them on the bedside table for him to find in the morning. The Shield still had to travel to the kitchen to look for some medicine for the next day migraine and consequences, and brought it to Ignis’ room along two glasses of water, placing them nearby the spectacles.

He gave a last glance at Ignis, and found him still asleep in the same position. Ignis had never been one to move too much in his sleep, and his drunken persona did not seem to disagree with that. Gladio smiled, got closer and caressed his hair a little more, and his smile widened when Ignis offered no reaction. Dead asleep, just as Gladio wanted him. He could not help but smile even more and lower the gaze when he remembered about the silly but pretty things Ignis had said about him. It had been small and dumb comments, but Gladio liked to believe that there was more in the subtext of the things Ignis called him. He would ask him in the morning, or whenever they could conversate again.

Gladio left to his own room, fighting the urge to get under the sheets at Ignis’ side. He sat down at the bed with a heavily sleepy sigh and looked at the hour. Almost four in the morning. He considered moving away his morning run, and that would leave him with…three hours of sleep.

Eh. Could be much worse.

He lied down and thought he would fall asleep immediately. Gladio was exhausted and wrecked like hell, but he still took long to fall asleep as lost in his thoughts as he was, and the more he imagined the conversation he hoped he could have with Ignis in some hours and the more he thought about Ignis calling him ‘his knight’ and ‘husband material’ and how he offered no complaints to talking about it in the morning, the more he grew hopes that his feelings were reciprocate, and the less Gladio wanted to sleep.

Suddenly, sleepless, exhausted and wrecked, morning could not come too soon.