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krashlite · 8 months

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The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy

So it’s been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them

Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. It’s rare that they cross paths but typically they’ll stay nearby whenever they do.

3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desert’s first plan happened at BigB’s castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably would’ve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grian’s backup plan if Scar did die. “Your job isn’t to steal cookies, it’s to do murder” if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?

They didn’t cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didn’t fully stand against the desert, he didn’t stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because he’s scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally

The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to “do something!!” And saying he can’t watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him “don’t go out without a fight.” DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.

Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that he’s gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow

I’m also fascinated by B’s decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desert’s side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this

Anyways

LL they didn’t really interact much- which does come into play during DL

In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But there’s a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grian’s soulmate wasn’t going to save him and BigB was.

BigB, on the other hand, though Grian’s disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G would’ve taken the lead on things B feels he’s weakest at, considering they have past experience

Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isn’t a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB

I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesn’t know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I can’t help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that it’s not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him

Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.

Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing she’d died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep

BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, he’s a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.

Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didn’t agree with Ren’s decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didn’t feel heard in the relationship- something that’s later discussed in couple’s counseling

Putting a pin in that!

On Grian’s side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. He’s taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasn’t even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesn’t think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harm’s way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!

Grian feels less like Scar’s partner and more like Scar’s mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure he’s out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.

Scar’s behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didn’t want the pandas in the house? Fine, he’ll hop in some powdered snow. Grian’s upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just won’t eat for a bit. Scar knows it’s not as serious as Grian’s making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.

All this does is push Grian away, so it’s absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesn’t see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldn’t be expected to constantly clean up after Scar

No G wasn’t perfect but goddamn

BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.

They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so

But anyways

BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.

Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows he’s being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grian’s involvement in his and Ren’s 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.

Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Ren’s inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when that’s not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other

Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grian’s lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.

So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations

Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Ren’s course correction matches what Scar needs and Scar’s course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone who’s safe and BigB needs someone to guide him

It’s a really funny coincidence but anyways

Ultimately it was Grian’s impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesn’t help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys

Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!

I’m not normal about this season whatsoever

In LimL they really don’t properly interact until the very end but we’ll get to that.

BigB’s POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grian’s sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the “oh this one’ll kill me and dump my body off a bridge” kinda way. He’s a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy

On the other side of things, Grian’s POV reinforces that BigB is “safe.” The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesn’t take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server

So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB can’t save him, he can’t even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigB’s too nice for is own good

And once again!! It’s Grian’s impulsiveness that gets them killed

I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasn’t worth the cost. He hesitated because he didn’t want to lose BigB but wasn’t quick to save him like Pearl was.

And honestly it’s no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didn’t outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Ren’s decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that won’t bode well for her if it’s just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense

I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldn’t do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I can’t help but think this pushed BigB away

Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways

SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigB’s silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so we’re putting a pin in that until later

#anyways this is barely proof read so sorry if I come across as a rambling lunatic #DL was an entire mess for them and their soulmates and they did not handle it well #trafficshipping #including that for DL mostly #grian #bigbst4tz2 #trafficblr #life series smp #I’m normal about them I prommy #these two are The toxic yaoi for me rn so don’t mind my insanity

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mkstrigidae · 5 months

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APWH preview snippet!

Since I'm actively trying to work on getting the next few chapters out, I thought I'd share a little future scene with some hints of Jonsa with all you lovely people! This bit is from like, a few chapters in the future bc it's the in-between that's giving me fits right now :) (Fair warning: this is unedited and subject to change! That being said, it's such a fun scene that I can't imagine ever nixing it :D)

“Does he even know that they have to avoid the press?”

“For the last time-“ Sam sighed, sounding completely exasperated, “Dickon knows what they can and can’t do- he’s got enough practice not being photographed from when our dad was the secretary. Not to mention spending time around you when that exposé on your crazy grandfather came out two years ago.”

“I just-“ Jon sighed, blowing a stray curl out of his face. “You didn’t see how freaked out she was when the press caught us at that performance in White Harbor. I thought she was going to have a full-blown panic attack.”

He was immediately derailed by Gilly plopping little Sam down in his lap and shoving a bottle into his hands.

“What’s this all about?” he raised a brow, adjusting the baby on his lap, allowing him to latch onto the cuff of his flannel shirt and start gnawing at the fabric. “You going somewhere?”

Gilly shot him a withering look, but he saw the amusement in her eyes.

“I-“ she gestured, imperiously, “Have not had time by myself to shower all week-“

“Sorry, love.” Sam winced, looking up from his pile of paperwork. “I can take a break from these-“

“Not your fault, Sam.” she waved him off. “You warned me about this conference at the beginning of the summer.” a grin played at the corners of her mouth. “Besides, it works out well- Jon needs a distraction right now from the fact that Sansa’s on a date with your extremely hot and conventionally attractive brother.”

“Hey!” Sam looked wounded, and Gilly rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“You know you’re my favorite Tarly.” she wrinkled her nose. “How long have you been working on this presentation? You smell like the baby spit up on you.”

“Guess I’m next in line for showers.” Sam said, mournfully. “Unless-“

“Nope- I need my own time right now, Samwell. Did you even hear what I said about why Jon’s bent out of shape?”

Jon had known Gilly since Sam and she had met up north while the two of them were in college. Sometimes, it was hard to reconcile the timid, scared girl she had been with the woman who was currently devoting all of her remaining energy to busting his balls.

“Don’t tell me you’re worried about Sansa with my brother.” Sam snorted, shotgunning another cup of coffee next to him the way Jon was used to seeing undergrads do with jaeger shots. “I mean, this is Dickon we’re talking about. Used to bring wounded animals home to take care of them Dickon? The same guy who cried when we had movie night and Gilly and Rhae wanted to go see ‘Love, Simon’?” He shook his head. “Look, as far as guys she could be out on a date with right now go, Dickon’s kind of the best case scenario. She’ll have a nice time, and he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

Jon blinked at him, silently turning to look up at Gilly, who rolled her eyes and sighed.

“You’re hopeless, sweetie.” she kissed him on the forehead again, wrinkling her nose. “He’s not worried that things will go wrong- he’s worried they’ll go a little too well.”

“You’ve been spending way too much time around my sister.” Jon muttered, narrowly avoiding little Sam’s grasping reach for his glasses, managing to get the baby to latch onto the bottle before he destroyed any more of Jon’s eyewear. “You even sounded like her just then.”

Sam blinked for a second, his head whipping between Jon and Gilly.“You’re jealous?” He asked, incredulously. “Of Dickon? Wait- you like Sansa?”

“Got there in the end.” Gilly sighed, affectionately patting him on the shoulder before going to shower, leaving Jon and Sam behind with four cups of coffee, one baby, and approximately five brain cells total between the two of them.

“You like her.” Sam repeated, like it was a giant revelation.

“What are we- in middle school?” Jon hissed, immediately turning his head down to smile and make faces at little Sam while he fed him, before glaring up at big Sam again. “I don’t- I mean-“

Sam was just shaking his head.“Of course you do.” he laughed. “Should have guessed- red hair and a damsel in distress? You were doomed from the outset.”

“Shut up.” Jon muttered, flushing. “It’s not like that.”

“Then why are you worrying about Dickon for fu-“ Sam glanced nervously at the baby, “-god’s sake? When Gill was meeting my family for the first time, I remember you told her not to worry- that my brother was ‘one of the best guys you know’ and ‘practically a golden retriever’.”

Jon could tell that Sam, who could not raise one eyebrow without the other, was desperately trying to do just that.

“I don’t know.” He muttered, moving little Sam to his shoulder to start burping him. “Look- I’m attracted to her, alright? It’s a fu- er, a giant disaster that I’m gonna ignore for the rest of my life.”

“Seriously?”

“Stop trying to do that with your eyebrows.” Jon complained. “It’s giving me motion sickness. And yes, seriously. I’m not even going to consider that- it’s just a stupid crush. Besides,” he sighed, rubbing little Sam’s back comfortingly, “Robb’s already dealing with enough right now with this whole Sansa situation- can’t imagine telling him I think his sister’s attractive while he’s being forced to suddenly confront all of his guilt and self loathing every time he looks at her.”

“That whole bro code thing of never dating your friend’s sisters never really made sense to me.” Sam shook his head, gulping down more coffee. “I mean, I’d be thrilled if you decided to date Talla, because I know you’d be good to her.”

“Yeah, don't think she'd quite go for that, mate.” Jon snorted, standing to bounce little Sam around gently. He was just grateful Sam hadn’t said anything else about Robb.

“Eh, wouldn’t count you out completely.” Sam shrugged, smirking. “With that hair, you’re pretty enough to be a girl- maybe that’d be enough for her.”

“You are so lucky i’m holding the baby.” Jon muttered, still bouncing little Sam, who picked that moment to spit up spectacularly down Jon’s back.

“Well, that’s three of us who’re gonna need showers now.” Sam grinned, looking thrilled as all get out that it hadn’t been him. “Wow- his aim is getting better.”

“I’m going to remind him of this when he’s a sulky teenager.” Jon grumbled, wiping spit-up off his shoulder as best he could. “Look- no gossiping with Rhae about this, please. She thinks she’s such a good clandestine agent that she doesn’t always realize that Robb is better at sniffing out her plots than she thinks.”

“Alright-“ Sam sighed, looking back down at the massive stack of paperwork in front of him. “I make no promises for Gill, though.”

“Gilly could give some of my Uncle’s colleagues at the WIA a run for their money when it comes to withstanding interrogation.” Jon snorted.

“Probably true.”

“Where did your brother take Sansa?” Still holding onto a now much happier baby with one hand, he reached down the other to take a gulp of his own coffee.

“He said something about going out towards the Tyrell Estate.” Sam shrugged. “They probably drove out there to see the gardens- he’s said it’s a good road to take his bike out on.”

Jon promptly spat out his entire sip of coffee, staining the front of his shirt as well as the back, and frightening little Sam enough that he started to cry.

“He took her on his motorcycle?”

Gilly picked that moment to reappear, completely clean and with wet hair, blinking at the scene in front of her.

Sam, who couldn’t seem to stop laughing, was desperately trying to calm down the baby, who had started wailing, while Jon’s entire front was covered in coffee and his entire back was covered in baby vomit. Not that he seemed to notice, as his face was white and he was making a series of angry looking hand gestures at her husband.

“I really can’t leave you three alone for five minutes, can I?” she sighed. “Do I even want to know?”

#my writing #my wips #writing wips #just APWH things #jonsa #fanfiction wip #God bless Gilly like for real #YES Sansa is on a date with someone else here #muscleman golden retriever McAttractiveness #Aka dickon tarly #unsurprisingly jon is not having a great time about it!#in fairness to sansa the plotline directly preceding this and kicking off her doing some traveling was pretty rough on her #so our poor girl really deserves a giant muscley golden retriever with a motorcycle #and to just have a good time with someone who isn't wrapped up in all the stark drama/disaster/mess etc.#jon can deal with it rn bc it's really a 'you snooze you lose' kind of situation #sam's usually quicker on the draw but he's very sleep deprived here #and working on some stuff for a pathology conference #not at all going to be relevant nope no sir #writing sam and jon interacting vs jon and robb is so fascinating #they're both jon's besties but there's a very different dynamic to the two relationships #in fairness Robb has like SO much complex childhood trauma and is kind of seriously going through it right now #but his scenes with jon always have this sort of darker edge to them #like an 'i've known you my entire life and know everything about you for better or worse' type deal- deeper but darker #it's more akin to a sibling relationship? but also not? they are both going thru it #my headcanon is that anytime jon starts getting too gloomy and angsty gilly just straight up shoves the baby at him #and then waits like twenty minutes #Gilly: 'it's free babysitting!'#generally it works pretty well #jon's like '404 error does not compute' as soon as sam says the word 'motorcycle'#also when sam says 'the secretary' he means randyll tarly was the secretary of defense

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