#my man pantalone is just living in my head rent free these days

[prettybbychim]

me, sleep deprived as all hell: that guy looks like pantalone

[localplaguenurse]

Hello friend from the country of maples. I have come asking for headcanons for the pants man because it is almost 4am and he is living in my brain rent free.

I would like to blame Hamilton the musical because I googled the difference between “My dearest Angelica,” and “My dearest, Angelica” and at first i thought “huh Morax would do this to wifey” and then a little throwaway like from a ZhongChi fanfic made me realize Pantalone would ALSO do this to his beloved and as the musical goes “consumed my waking days”

Oh my god Al Haitham would do this too.

Guess I’m not sleeping

Headcanons for pants? Headcanons for pants?

I love you, also go to bed pls.

Because you didn't specify what kind of headcanons I'm just gonna throw down whatever I got off the top of my head rn that I didn't include in the health headcanons. Also just fyi I flip flop between certain headcanons mostly because there isn't enough info about him at this very moment, so it's kinda like "what flavour of pants do I crave today?"

ANYWAYS pants time

For a while I headcanoned him as like 27-28 at the absolute youngest because the limited information we have about him gave me young hotshot entrepreneur "thirty under 30" vibes.

Like I can so clearly in a modern AU see his face plastered all over magazines about this young man who worked his ass off to go from rags to riches. (I'm thinking about Bruce Wayne in the opening from Arkham City. "It's billionaire, Vicki. Millionaires are so last year.")

He is unrecognizable from his youth counterpart today. He was this scrawny child, hair matted and tangled and perpetually dirty. Always had some bruises and cuts and scrapes, crooked teeth, the works. With all the money in his pocket, he's been able to afford top of the line medical care, dental treatments, expensive luxury soaps and shampoos, and only the finest of clothing. It's astounding but also horrifying to see how different the two are.

It's not necessarily his favourite food but his comfort foods are whatever super cheap fresh hot meals he could get his hands on. He still thinks back to the very first actually expensive meal he bought with his own money every now and again.

He would never admit this, of course. They'd all laugh at him if they found out he enjoyed peasant meals.

On occasion, though, he will remake one of these really cheap meals for a midnight snack.

He's not a bad cook, it's just all the meals he knows how to make are less about flavour and more about practicality/edibility. That said, though, he knows how to make a meal made from like five ingredients not only last for quite a while, but also taste really good.

Sugar daddy material, he would love nothing more than to spoil his darling rotten, HOWEVER he is not interested in someone only dating him for his money. He wants someone who will let him pamper them, but will also be there in the event everything falls apart and he once again has nothing.

Constantly has to remind everyone that the Northland Bank is SEPERATE from the Fatui. He needs everyone to know that the success of the bank is not because of the Fatui, it's because of him. Vice versa, while the bank's success may have gotten the attention of the Fatui, him becoming a harbinger is because he worked his ass off to get that position.

There is no information on his family or if he even has one, but you know how Lucio from The Arcana has that portrait of his mother all dressed up in regal attire, despite the fact he was raised in a tribe? I think Pantalone would have a bunch of portraits of his family all over his manor(s) sort of like that.

If he ever has kids, he would be so torn between spoiling them because he certainly has the money to do that, but he also cannot stand the snobby little brats of his business partners and does not want his children acting like that.

This is just really random but for some reason All Hail the Fishmen from Lisa The Painful gives me pants vibes and I cannot explain why

And... Yeah! That's it rn, unless you wanna hear about my oc/pants' knife wife Xue, or you have specific headcanons in mind.