#my money is on tnt duo

[clown-astronaut]

these four duos all get into a physical fight together which team do u think would win

[soupzardous]

I just did a bad thing. Not a horrible thing. But still a very bad thing.

I ordered a custom flag with the tntduo image. And I was gonna hang it under my lmanburg flag.

It’s my master plan. People go “ew. You have a lmanburg flag”

I go, “oh shit I meant to take it down will you get ur for me?“ and they grab it and pull it off the hooks. BUT LITTLE DO THEY KNOW. THAT THEY JUST GOT TNTDUOED.

I’ve hit rock bottom.

[ladyddanger]

Rivals before hoes: a tnt gets married crack fic.

(This is just a joke not my serious take on the characters thank u :)

Also this is crack crack. Like I wrote this on 3 hours of sleep crack. Tw for slut shaming, lots of cursing, drunkenness, suggestive themes, making out and light c!dnf. Also! This party is adults only so none of the teenagers like c!tommy are here. Enjoy

The dinner party for the grand opening of the casino was going great until Wilbur started flirting with Quackity. “Oh my gods we’re not dating.” Wilbur said sitting on Quackity’s lap while he fed him grapes. “We’re just rivals why dose this society have to sexualize everything?” Quackity leaned over rubbing his neck. “Literally I’m so sick of it.” Wilbur kissed his cheeks. “You’re so cute.”

Sapnap stood up having enough. “Hey!” He shouted loudly. “Stay away from my fiancé you ugly zombified bitch.”

“Me and your finance had sex last night.” Wilbur shouted back . The crowd gasped. Quackity dropped to the ground and started faking a heart attack just like Sam had taught him in avoiding responsibility 101.

“I think you mean your fiancé and I.” Technoblade corrected quietly. Wilbur glared at him. “You’re literally an anarchist shut up.” Niki who was an instigator smirked. “Yeah Techno.” The Piglin stared at her. “You’re also an anarchist.” Ignoring him she and Wilbur gave each other a high five. Phil took a sip of his wine and reached for Wilbur’s glass as well. Quackity had stoped fake choking and hurried towards the mic on the large stage in the front of the room. The moment he was out of ear shot Sam sidled over to Sapnap with a nosey look on his face. “Now this just might be me.” He said quietly. “But I would not let someone talk about my fiancé like that.” (Sam was also an instigator)

Sapnap nodded. “You’re so right Sam, I think the only reasonable response is go up there and beat the shit out of Wilbur. I’m sure Quackity will appreciate that violence and it won’t bring up any traumatic memories.” Sam nodded. “Go for it Sapnap!” He cheered. Sapnap raised his hands like a football player and charged for Wilbur. “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” Niki cheered, she and Phil had found somewhere else to be a safe distance away where they could still see the drama. (One table away) Technoblade started eating their cake looking unbothered.

“Hey Wilbur come down and fight like a real man!” Sapnap yelled. Wilbur was hiding on top of the table just out of Sapnap’s reach. “I’m perfectly fine being a real man up here.” He yelled back. Quackity had made it to the mic. “Good evening.” He slurred more then a bit drunk. “I just wanted to make it clear that Wilbur and I are getting married. Tonight!”

Sapnap turned. “What?” Wilbur looked just as shocked. “What?” Quackity swayed grabbing the mic. “This is definitely a real thing and not something I just thought of because the loves of my life are happy without me and it’s not fair.” He broke off sobbing for a good minute while everyone stood awkwardly and then continued like nothing had happened. “Wilbur and I are going to get married. And then we’re going to go to my room get on our knees and-.”

Sam rushed forwards and grabbed the mic away. “ -Pray to the prime gods bless us all. Such religious men you love to see it.” Everyone crossed themselves. Sam beamed. “I am so happy about this and I’m so glad Quackity told me in advance because if not I would be very mad. So I’m glad he told me like the great friends he is!” Quackity was sitting down on stage having exhausted himself. “I’m such a good friend.” He agreed.

Techno leaned over to Phil. “I’m an empath so I knew this was gonna happen. There was a lot of dark feminine energy from Quackity and Wilbur. Also i caught them making out. It was really gross. Wilbur gave me fifty bucks not to tell anyone so I bought ice cream for Niki and told her the whole thing.”

Wilbur flushed. “Please shut up.” Sapnap gasped. “You’re a slut Wilbur Soot!” Wilbur glared. “So what? At least I get bitches!” Sapnap lunged on top of the table and started beating him up. “Nooo.” Quackity wailed form the floor. “Two hot men are fighting over me. I hate my life.” Techno stood up and dragged Sapnap off Wilbur like a feral cat. “Please don’t kill my friend’s child or I will be forced to murder you and this is a new cape I don’t want to get blood on. You know how it is.” Sapnap hissed at him. Techno hissed back. Sam walked back to mic ready to do his job and cause more issues now that the drama was over. “Quackity you’re too drunk to get married.” He said into it. Quackity shrugged. “Change the law I’m the gods damned leader of this place.”

“Well you need a blessing-.”

“PHIL!” I want your blessing to marry Wilbur.” Phil glared. “No.” Quackity sighed and grabbed something from his inventory, it was a bell. “WHAT ABOUT NOW?” Techno stoped hissing at Sapnap and dropped him on the ground. “My clout Phil.” The older man looked pained. “But- but my son.”

“What’s more in important to you?

“My clout or your son?”

Phil sighed. “Your clout always.” Everyone clapped. Sam brushed a tear away. “What a sweet moment.” Dream looked confused. “Am I the only one who thinks this is messed up?”

George glared. “You literally weren’t invited Dream. You just showed up in that dumb dress and started throwing yourself at Punz like a whore.” Punz who had been stealing the fried shrimp looked confused. Sam gasped. “Damnnnn. You know if that was me-.” Wilbur and Quackity somehow got up on stage. Quackity turned to Sam. “MARRY US.” He ordered. Sam hurried over. Phil was crying and holding the bell. It was unclear if he was crying over the bell or his sons wedding. Techno was taking pictures of the wedding but they where all selfies.

“Ok.” Sam said. “Are you both in a sound state of mind?” Quackity swayed. “No I’m fucking wasted. I gotta be honest with you.”

“I think I have a concussion. “ Wilbur said sadly. Sam patted his back. “Take it like a man, king. You’re doing great buddy. Clearly you two are mentally stable and sane so Quackity do you take Wilbur to be your one and only side bitch?” Quackity sniffed. “Yes.”

“And Wilbur do you-.” Wilbur cut him off. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes, I do because in the end the love you take is equal to love you make and you are my love.” Sam sniffed. “So sweet.” Dream huffed. “He literally googled sexy marriage quotes. I can see his phone in his hands.” Sam spoke loudly over him. “You can now kiss the husband.” Quackity and Wilbur kissed dramatically.

“I HAVE AN OBJECTION.” The crowd gasped. (Everyone was an instigator that this point) Sam blinked. “Well their already married but sure go ahead. I need a new thing to have nightmares about anyway.”

Sapnap stood up. “WILBUR SOOT IS A SLUT. everyone gasped. “I KNOW FOR A FACT HE AND DREAM WEANT ON A DATE TO PIZZA HUT AND WILBUR AND I DID IT IN THE HOLY LANDS. He paused for dramatic effect. TWICE.” Sam gasped. Phil fainted. Dream did the Debby Ryan. Wilbur flushed. “You said that was between us and lady prime you asshole!” Quackity whirled on Dream. “You ruined my life. I hate you so much.” Dream stared at him as Quackity sobbed. “You horrible man. Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

Wilbur turned to the scared man . “Babe I can explain.” (It was unclear which scared man he was talking to) Quackity noticing everyone was staring cried harder. “I WANT A DIVORCE.” He sobbed running off stage and into Eret’s arms. “This is so upsetting I need a big strong king to carry me away.” When Eret didn’t move Quackity nudged her. “That’s you! Hurry you’re ruining my dramatic exit.” Eret nodded. “Of course.” Sweeping their cape dramatically they headed out of the doors with Quackity in their arms. Wilbur sniffed. “The love of my life gone.”

Wilbur sank to the floor and pulled out a cigarette. Sapnap looked down at him. “Gods above you’re pathetic. Wanna make out?” Wilbur looked up at him. “You’re terrible for me and much like my father barely acknowledge my existence. Of course I wanna make out with you.” They started making out. Dream groaned. “Can we talk about Wilbur’s daddy issues please?” George booed him. “Literally nobody here likes you Dream.” Dream huffed. “If you’re that mad about Punz we’re not even dating their just my evil best friend. He enables me.” Punz grinned offering a hand to George. “It’s a full time job trust me. Also I’m trying to seduce that guys ex.” He pointed at Sam. “Wait wha-.”

George beamed cutting Sam off. “Really Dreamy?” Dream grinned. “I’m all yours baby.” And with dnf being cannon peace was restored to sever.

[commaclear]

Do you plan on continuing Bite Me? Just curious, cause its a really good fanfic! (No intentions of being rude)

Not rude at all!

And honestly I would love to continue Bite Me, and I def have plans (Charlie becoming human, bigger role for Techno, the necklace Dream gave Ranboo, Wilbur has to step up and be the full watcher bc Philza [redacted]), but it kinda depends on what my readers want

As much as I would love to say, "I don't care if people like what I'm writing cuz I write for me!" The plain truth is that compared to my other (more tnt duo-centric) stuff, Bite Me just didn’t get the same reception, which is super disheartening. Especially for me, who derives motivation directly from feedback/engagement. The same goes for Tommy Against the Ineffable if anyone remembers that one. I write fanfiction because I love engaging with the community. If I were in it solely for the love of writing, I'd write actual books and probably make money.

So that's a long-winded way of saying I'd love to, but it's on the maybe someday list

[hangezoeenthusiast]

God(hcs)

c!multiple x god!reader

notes: the reader will be the god of death to make it a little bit more spicy :). c!punz’s pronouns are he/they, i’m not sure about the others, but i know theirs. also why does ranboo take away my gender? /j

word count: 1,672

warnings: arson, violence, cursing, yelling, mention of death, voices in technos part, spoilers for wilbur if you haven’t watch tommy’s lore stream, revival for wilbur, making a religion, time travel, egg, prison, stealing, anarchy, playful name calling

Sapnap

so obviously y’all would be a great match :)

you have creative mode, so when sap would ask you to give him a lighter and tnt, you would GLADLY give it

also, can we talk about him being a nether hybrid

fire squared

like fires left and right, hide your mom and your children in your house lol /j

but besides the whole arson thing, you favor him above anyone else on the server

like if he asks for diamond blocks, well here’s a whole inventory of it, also, here’s some ancient debris and some netherite

if someone asked, you would probably grant them with poison and curses, just because you can’t be “unloyal” to snapchat 

wouldn’t be lonely anymore

Dreamwastaken

this duo is less chaotic, but chaotic enough where people avoid you

he still asks you for stuff, but most of the time, you don’t give him it because he annoys you too much about giving stuff

“hey y/n/n, can i pretty please get some emerald blocks.”

“nope bitch, get it yourself.”

but sometimes, you grant him some op shit, when it’s your good day

“because i’m being nice, here’s some diamond, now, don’t ask me again you little piss baby.”

“shut your trap y/n.”

“or what homeless teletubby, what are you going to do to a god like me?”

“you hang out with technoblade to much.”

Georgenotfound

maybe the least chaotic duo

you guys keep on relaxing and relaxing until the point where you don’t do anything

he barely asks you for anything, but only when it’s really really important, like a house or build

especially when he was building his little cottagecore house, he needed your godly presence to help

“y/n, what should the roof be made of?”

“i suggest brick, it makes it more aestheticy if that makes any sense.”

also barely any drama or tea with you guys

never arguing and never betraying each other is a must

Tubbo

also another least chaotic duo

literally help him with his bee farm, he will (platonically) love you forever

gotta be close to ranboo, that’s the rule

gives him SO much stuff, he’s a precious boi 🙄

also gotta be close to tommy, but not as much unfortunately

you help him pick out things for builds, like what material clashes with another, etc

“do you think that the wool and the netherite blocks look good together y/n?”

“nah, what i suggest is the wool with the gold, it looks perfect.”

sometiems, gotta put him in check because he gets a little ego built up

you definitely yank his horn a little too hard because of your IMMENSE STRENGTH

“OW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT Y/N.”

“calm down sunny, you were just getting a bit over your head a little.”

Tommyinnit

chaotic duo like sapnap

snaps at anyone who annoys you and vice versa

you give him EVERYTHING, obviously except op and creative

he tries to persuade you to do something, but dreamxd wouldn’t allow it, since he is the main boss

“come on y/n, give me op.”

“no tommy, xd will kick my ass.”

“pweaseee.”

“no.”

you would DEFINITELY help him with the Big Innit Hotel, making the whole layout and color palette.

both of you have an intense hatred for ranboo, since he “stole” tubbo away from tommy

Ranboo

least involved in everything

just stay in the tundra and drink some tea, and you’re good for all of your life

helps him get netherite all the time so your boii can get the good stuff 😬

when he mines to get diamonds, he literally prays to you

“y/n, if you’re listening, please give me a 6 vein, i desperately need it for my collection of diamond blocks.”

and THERE IT IS

more than a 6 vein actually, a 12 vein

guess he needs to pray to you more

daily tea sessions, to talk about the good stuff, and NO, and i repeat NO skipping

threatening to flick water on him check ✅

Wilbur Soot

literally you spoil him

not to be angsty, but when he died and lost his last canon life, you revived him instead of Dream

now he’s practically at your knees

like he’s thinks that he owes you, but actually that’s the opposite

he was revived because you were lonely, and wanted your best friend back :(

prays to you when he goes to bed

“hey y/n, hope you’re having a great day, (platonically) love you.”

“love you too mortal.”

sometimes, to be at the peak of godness, you shower upon wilbur as gold to symbolize blessings, like zeus did before

“omg y/n, what are you doing?”

“i’m trying to bless you, shut up bitch.”

just saying, he would make a religion about you :/

Karl Jacobs

omg don’t get me started on this

first, you wouldn’t codone him going back in time

he would definitely forget your name a lot, so that’s why you hated it

“hey karl, how are you doing?”

“i’m sorry, but do i know you?”

ANGST IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

you were definitely the one to push him towards sapnap and quackity

this is also another spoiled boi

give him the entire world while you’re at it pwease

he wants a few diamonds, nope, give him a chest full of them

Quackity

why are there so much chaotic duos in here?

literally chaos times infinity

energy to the max

literally, did you take an energy drink

grants him every wish he can randomly think off

“can i get a bucket with lava and a fish in it?”

“weird choice, but ok man.”

gotta be close to sap and karl or he isn’t your friend anymore /j

helps with las nevadas a lot, and definitely tries to rig the machines so you get money

“hey big q, i got 10,000 dollars.”

“that’s impossible... y/n, did you cheat?”

“nooo 😊”

help him preen his wings, and he goes “I LOVE YOU, MWAH MWAH.” obviously in his mind 🙄

Awesamdude

definitely helps him maintain the prison

you both love setting up red stone contraptions and pistons and all that giz

“hey sam, do you know where the redstone torches are?”

“yeah, there behind the pistons in the back.”

also you helped build the prison, since he could do that by himself

“are you sure that lava wall will work y/n, your calculations seem inaccurate.”

“i’m sure sam, this will add some more security to this goddamn server.”

nerd squared lol

BadBoyHalo

wouldn’t condone the egg

you warned him multiple times to get away from its grasp, but most of the times he’ll decline

“i won’t y/n, the egg is the future.”

he still, even after all the advancements, even after everything, he tries to ask you to join the eggpire

“come on y/n, you’ll like being with us.”

“i don’t wanna be on a stupid egg side, like let me crack the egg, i wanna eat it and turn it into a omelette.”

he doesn’t like that joke :(

but before he discovered the egg, both of you were joint at the hip

sight seeing was a must

languages being thrown around everywhere, since you were the little language muffin

Punz

steals stuff from everyone

hide your stuff, because the punzo-y/n team is unstoppable

definitely they can be really stubborn and indecisive

like one day, he will be like, “i need gold blocks.” and the next, “nevermind, i need netherite actually.”

like hon, stop switching

also anarchy buddies

burning down forests and buildings are your guys’s specialty

when you give him gold when they doesn’t ask, his heart goes brrr and his brain goes, “pog pog, they’re so cool, lets hug them.”

Technoblade

now this is the most deadly duo in the entire Dream Smp

better not piss you guys off 😐

he’s the Blood God, and you’re the God/Goddess/God being of Death

so if some occasion where you need to battle someone, like Techno’s enemies, *clears throat and murmurs Quackity*, you will obviously back your boy up :)

help him with enchanting and potions and he’s set for life

also you got have to be close to the great Philza Minecraft since him and Techno are buddy buddy

anarchy squared

helps with the voices since you have some of your own

“so what you’re saying is that i need to pay attention to them?”

“yeah, when i first learned that the voices were in my head, i tried to ignore them, but that sucked. so what i did was try to distract myself with various tasks, and that sucked.”

“so what do i do, you’re saying that i should listen to them, but how do i do that when they literally shout at me.”

“just embrace it, obviously when they do their little chant of blood for the blood god, you have to ignore them.”

“you suck at advice.”

Philza Minecraft

so since both of you resemble death, him being the Angel of Death and you being the God/Goddess/God being of Death, y’all are fucking best friends, platonic soulmates if you will

death squared

watch out, because if you piss them off, prepare to d-

gotta be close to Ranboo and Techno, and obviously others who he platonically likes

he doesn’t need to ask you for stuff, he’s the fricking Angel of Death, but he will ask you to preen his wings :D

“ow, not there y/n.”

“oh shut up grandpa, let me do it.”

“I’M NOT OLD DUMBASS.”

Dream XD

two gods at once, damn there is so much chaos

left and right, you guys are noticed by everyone, like purrrr

y’all would be in some fancy shit, to show your power

you would get jealous of him hanging out with george

“why are you jealous y/n?”

“you’re hanging out with george to much, hang out with me please :(.”

gifts are a must, even though both of you have access to creative

[wonda-cat]

A List of Every Wrongdoing c!Dream Has Ever Done

Lately, I’ve been noticing an increase in c!Dream apologists crawling out of the woodworks to leave nasty anons on my mutuals’ blogs and making posts claiming that c!Dream is misunderstood and not “pure evil.” (I suspect this is due to the recent DSMP Twitter migration from a week ago.) 

The purpose of this post is less to discuss and explain why c!Dream is not Morally Grey (he’s Morally Black), but to show in plain detail exactly the actions and mindsets he portrayed which have led him to be deemed as irredeemable. 

(Please note: I will miss a few details here and there as tallying up every terrible thing c!Dream has done is a borderline impossible task. There’s simply too many to state, especially if we’re going into dialogue-specific examples as well.)

Season One:

(During this time, cc!Dream did not have a firm grasp on the direction he wanted to take his character. At this point in the story, he did not yet fill the archetypal role of the villain. Thus, it’s best to take this section with a grain of salt.)

Was the catalyst to the Disc War, stealing both of Tommy’s discs, Cat and Mellohi.

Immediately declared war on L’Manburg after its emancipation, instead of offering a peaceful compromise.

Had a speech where he demanded surrender from L’Manburg or he’d kill them.

Burned down Tubbo’s house.

Ordered Sapnap to start a forest fire near L’Manburg.

Organized the Control Room incident; the largest mass murder in the server’s history, taking a canon life from every member of L’Manburg.

Provided incentive for Eret to betray his friend and manipulated him up until the day he was dethroned.

Took a canon life from Tommy during a duel, instead of accepting Wilbur’s initial plea for surrender.

Destroyed Tubbo’s bee boxes, griefed Tommy’s house, and constantly terrorized Clingy Duo.

Offered real money for Jack Manifold to defect from L’Manburg and betray his two new friends.

Likened himself to the rightful ruler of the server and described all its people as ‘dolls’ who should ‘stay in their correct rooms and not move.’

Was a major instigator in the Railway Skirmish.

Went behind Sapnap’s back and told Niki and Fundy where he kept his pets so they could kill them.

Was an instigator in both Pet Wars.

Gave Schlatt a crossbow during the debates, which he used to shoot at bystanders and opponents, forcing the crowd to flee.

Initially urged Quackity to join Schlatt’s campaign.

Provided Wilbur with TNT and defended his decisions, worsening his downward spiral.

Betrayed Pogtopia when Schlatt offered him the Book of Revival.

Initially sided with Technoblade as he threatened to spawn withers.

Cheered when L’Manburg blew up.

Was revealed to have made a deal with Wilbur which forced him to push the button no matter the outcome.

Season Two:

Griefed several homes with Puffy and tried to pin the blame on Tommy, hoping to get him exiled.

Took Tommy and Ranboo’s house fire accident and blew it out of proportion.

Built obsidian walls around L’Manburg and threatened to keep everyone tapped inside if Tommy wasn’t punished.

Threatened to kill anyone who would try to resist or flee, should the walls be completed.

Sent rude messages to Tommy in the hopes of getting him riled up during meetings in order to irritate Tubbo.

Had a speech where he admitted to not caring about anything but Tommy’s discs, which deeply hurt Sapnap.

Was a major instigator in the El Rapids Protest.

Threatened to kill Quackity during the above incident, including everyone he cared about.

Dethroned George despite promising the throne to him, hurting him in the process.

Conditioned the trial situation to force Tubbo into a corner, leading him to exile Tommy.

Placed ridiculous, not agreed upon restrictions onto exile, forcing Tommy to remain on a small, isolated island.

Destroyed Tommy’s summer home on the way to Logstedshire and refused to allow him to bring personal affects with him.

Turned exile from an unfair punishment into a literal kidnapping.

Destroyed everything Tommy would make, each day he visited him.

Manipulated, gaslit, and lovebombed Tommy.

Forced Tommy to completely rely on him for comfort and survival. 

Shrunk down the area Tommy could live in, even more so.

Starved Tommy and physically abused him.

Threatened to kill Tommy if he was slow to act, refused to co-operate, or was disagreeable.

Chased off potential visitors for Tommy.

Mocked Tommy openly in front of Sapnap and Ghostbur.

Was cold to Tommy when he displayed suicidal tendencies and vocalized ideation.

Manipulated Tubbo into thinking Tommy hated him and to never visit.

Burned the invitations to Tommy’s party.

Sent Ghostbur into the rain, hoping he would die there.

Lied to Tommy, telling him that Tubbo burned his compass.

Destroyed Logstedshire, Tommy’s tent, and all of his possessions upon finding secret chests hidden away in the floor.

Killed Tommy’s pet and only food source at the time, Mushroom Henry.

Forbade Tommy from going into the nether or seeing anyone until he ‘learned his lesson.’

Screamed at Tommy, despite Tommy apologizing incessantly. Then refused to accept the apology, saying he ‘never learned.’

Tracked down Tommy when he fled from captivity after his failed suicide attempt.

Attempted to frame Tommy for the destruction of the Community House.

Screamed at Tubbo and mocked him in front of a crowd.

Ousted Ranboo as a traitor, knowing full well that traitors are executed.

Teamed up with Technoblade to destroy L’Manburg.

Orchestrated Doomsday, blowing up L’Manburg into an unamendable, unrecognizable crater.

Mocked Tommy for returning to Tubbo.

Described destroying their home and seeing them broken as ‘amusing and fun.’

Had an odd, toxic, and potentially manipulative relationship with Ranboo.

Is implied to control Ranboo in some fashion, without his consent.

Griefed Tommy’s house again.

Threatened to kill Tubbo multiple times during the Final Disc Confrontation.

Admitted to toying with Clingy Duo using fake discs and mocked them.

Used Tommy’s trauma against him during battle and blew up the duo’s armor and tools.

Explained how he planned to use attachments to exert full control over the server and all its people.

Plotted to take precious items from his own two friends and closest allies.

Planned on kidnapping Skeppy and locking him in a cage.

Attempted to murder Tubbo.

Attempted to lock Tommy away in Pandora’s Vault forever.

Season Three:

Manipulated every single visitor he received in prison, including his own friend Sapnap.

Gave Sapnap a message in order to purposely trigger a response from Ranboo.

Manipulated and blackmailed Sam.

Threatened to kill Sam multiple times.

Fondly described to Sam what he did to Tommy during exile.

Implied to have trapped Tommy in the prison with him for a week, surrounding him with all of his greatest fears.

Beat Tommy to death in the heat of an argument and laughed afterward.

Brought Tommy back to life and asked him invasive questions about it.

Explained that he only killed Tommy to prove a point.

Debated killing Tommy again multiple times.

Asked Quackity if he thought Tommy’s death and abuse was funny.

Killed/destroyed Ghostbur in the process of reviving Wilbur.

Season Four:

Stated he did not care about Ranboo when he was threatened with death.

Threatened to destroy Sapnap’s home after he failed to return his armor.

Chased Tommy around the forest and physically attacked him.

Threatened Tommy with unending torture.

Started stalking Tommy immediately upon escaping prison.

Left signs and recorded his own voice on a disc in order to convince Tommy he was losing his mind.

Conspired to and succeeded in torturing both Vik and Lazar to death in the process of testing the Revival Book.

Mocked Sam for getting trapped in the prison and refused to free him from captivity.

Conspired to torture Quackity and kill his loved ones.

Admitted to not regretting any of his actions.

Murdered George when he refused to partake in the destruction of Kinoko.

Manipulated Sam into believing he was just as bad as Dream himself.

Starved Sam to expediate the manipulation.

Tricked Sam into handing over the prison keys before murdering him; giving him the same scar as Quackity in the process.

I will potentially update this list as time goes on, but for now, this is everything I can think of off the top of my head. 

No amount of excuses, other POVs, or headcanons will change the fact that in text, Dream is THE major antagonist in the story and the ultimate, definitive villain of the Dream SMP. 

And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Cheers!

[killercarmen]

So the latest lore stream, huh? anyone have some hurt comfort bc i am HURTING, and I love tnt duo.

Wilbur found him in the strip club. He was face down on the counter, surrounded by bottles as sobs shook his whole body. He hadn’t even noticed when Wilbur sat on the bar stool next to him.

“Quackity?” Wilbur said in a soft voice as to not startle him.

There was a sharp inhale as the sobs stopped.

“Have you come here to kill me too?” Quackity asked.

Wilbur looked at him, confused, “What?”

“If you are, then just do it. I’m vulnerable, I won’t even fight back. A nice and easy kill,” Quackity hiccuped.

“I’m not here to kill you,” Wilbur said.

“Well just do it anyway, I’ve lost so much already, what’s one more? It doesn’t matter anyways.”

Quackity sat up and finished the bottle in his hand before reaching for another.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Wilbur said, taking the bottle before Quackity could grab it.

Quackity glared at him, “After the week I've just had, nothing will be enough. Now give it back.”

Quackity tried to snatch it from Wilbur’s grasp, but Wilbur just held it high over his head, grateful Quackity was too short to reach.

“Alcohol poisoning is no joke, Quackity,” Wilbur deadpanned.

Quackity grabbed at Wilbur’s sleeve trying to pull it down, “Just shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I don’t care about your jokes, I've just had the shittiest week of my life! Karl doesn’t remember me and thinks that I’m a murder, Purpled betrayed me, and Slime is dead. If alcohol poisoning kills me, so be it. Now give me the bottle!”

Wilbur stared at Quackity, shocked. This distraction allowed Quackity to pull Wilbur’s arm down and grab the bottle from his hand. He yanked the cork out with his teeth and took a gulp.

“Quackity, I-”

“Oh don’t give me your pity,” Quackity spat, “I know you don’t care. No one does! Everyone on this server only cares about themselves. You can leave now. Leave me alone to drink myself to death.”

Quackity turned back and rested on the countertop again.

“Quackity-” Wilbur tried again, only to be cut off again.

Quackity sat up and turned quickly, shouting in Wilbur’s face, “What!? What could you possibly want?! That’s all I’m good for, isn’t it? For people to want things from me. My votes, my time, my body, my money. I’m the whore of the SMP, for everyone to take from. The one person who made me feel like they didn’t want anything from me is gone and I'm done. I’m done with this SMP, I’m done with Karl, with Sapnap, and I’m done with life.”

He poked at Wilbur’s chest, “And I'm done with you. I’m done with our stupid little rivalry. No get the fuck away from me and leave alone to wallow.”

Quackity went to take another swig, but before he could, Wilbur pulled him into a tight hug.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Quackity asked, voice muffled by Wilbur’s shoulder.

“I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve lost everything- like no one cares. And sometimes no one does. But that doesn’t mean people won’t in the future. And the only way to find out is to live long enough to reach that future,” Wilbur took a deep breath before continuing, “I care. I care about you Quackity. You’ve made me feel human, not like the monster everyone treats me as. You put up this tough front, and I know it’s because of all the things you’ve been through- and things I’ve put you through- and I’m sorry for that. You’ve been through so much, more than anyone should go through. Don’t let this be the thing that takes you down. And I’ll help you. Not out of pity, but because I care about you.”

Quackity tried to pull away, but Wilbur held on tight, “You don’t care. You only care because I don’t treat you like a monster. What if I started to do that? You’d leave, just like everyone else.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Wilbur rubbed soothing circles on Quackity’s back, between his wings, “Because I know you don’t truly think that. You’re a good person, Quackity.”

Quackity was silent for a moment before Wilbur heard him sniffle, and seconds later the waterworks were back and he was sobbing into his shoulder. And Wilbur just held him. He held him until his sobs turned into sniffles, and those sniffles turned to hiccups, and those hiccups into soft snores and Quackity fell asleep in his arms, exhausted by the day. Wilbur wasn’t quite sure where Quackity’s room was, so instead, he carefully carried him back to Wilbur’s base, where he placed slumbering Quackity into his bed and covered him with the blue covers. He sat in a chair next to the bed. He knew Quackity was suicidal, and didn’t trust that he would wake up and try to do something stupid, so Wilbur decided to simply sit and watch him until he woke up. He wasn’t lying when he said he cared.

____________________________________________________________________________

Quackity woke up in a bed that was not his own, causing him to panic and sit upright quickly. He looked around and saw the sleeping figure of Wilbur, slumped in a chair next to the bed. He vaguely remembered the night before, but he did remember feeling warm and safe.He stared at Wilbur and yawned. He was still tired, and it wasn’t quite morning yet. He laid back down and sleep quickly overtook him.

[neon-u-dumb-shxtty-child]

C!Rainbow is trying really hard to convince C!Funneh to convince C!Dream to bring Jschlatt back and on itsfunneh streams it’s just played up for laughs but then on quackity streams there’s a massive Tone Shift and it becomes Serious, like “I will literally take your life over this” energy. C!Quackity also tries to convince C!Funneh to convince C!Dream to bring Schlatt back in a very slapstick comedy.

C!Rainbow tried her damned hardest to convince him not to, but C!Schlatt decided to go through with executing Tubbo anyways (not very cash money of him). However, at the last second, she blew up part of the stage with some Very Convienient TNT, causing everyone to panic, which gave both Tubbo and Technoblade a chance to escape (that’s right I’m diverging from canon now). A lot of people still don’t know who caused that explosion to this day (the only person who saw her placing tnt was Quackity so only those who watched from his POV would know).

C!Rainbow was the only one who took care of C!Schlatt because of her experience with that sort of thing.

Rainbow always tries her absolute best to make sure that Schlatt keeps it pg while on stream with her, but was he really there if he didn’t say fuck once?

Not technically a withered rose duo hc, but C!Rainbow and C!Quackity are just in this limbo of an enemies to allies arc. They lowkey miss each other a lot, but shut up Wilbur no they don’t.

P.S; C!Rainbow was the only government official in Manburg who knew how to cook

The concept of Rainbow wanting Schlatt revived being played as either serious or a joke depending on the POV is a very interesting idea. It shifts from “if you really cared, you’d bring my bestie back.” to “I will not hesitate to take a life for this, you do NOT understand.”

Rainbow blowing up the stage and saving Tubbo from execution is a very cool concept if we’re branching out of the canon. My idea for the tnt is Lunar gave it to her earlier in the day as a gift, and she decided to save the kid by using it to cause a distraction. Quackity knowing and possibly either hiding it or using it against her could be beneficial for their falling out to begin with

Rainbow helping with Schlatt’s problem sounds a lot like something she’d do, she makes sure he takes his medication

CC!Rainbow trying to be PG around Jschlatt is way to funny to me. She’s trying so hard but he keeps cursing

Rainbow and Quackity having that arc will be inevitable, but c!Wilbur bringing it up randomly in conversation, or CC!Wilbur mentioning it on Reddit would be funny. They miss each other but won’t admit it just to anyone

Yeah, everyone else burns what they make

[wheelofmisfortune-hellrat]

First chapter of the tnt-duo fanfic I’ve been writing, here you go internet people

“C’mon man,” a green man said loudly, motioning his friend over to the blackjack table he was standing by, the man’s friend smiled and walked over to the table “I’m coming Charlie”, a familiar figure with dark brown hair except in one spot where it was unnaturally white, was standing near the table “Will?” he said, moving towards the taller man “yes?” he said, turning to face a black-haired man in black dress pants with suspenders and a white dress shirt stained with blood and reeking of whiskey, smoke, and money. “Ah, Quackity,” the taller man said with a grin “Wilbur” Quackity returned with a bitter tone. Wilbur grabbed Quackity’s chin with a partially rough, scarred hand and smiled sadistically “good luck” he said with a grin that Quackity loved but would never tell anyone, letting Quackity’s head fall but grabbing the small necklace that held two rings on it and pulling it off him, Quackity clasped his hands to his neck at the loss of the rings “What’s this?” Wilbur smiled, holding it just out of Quackity’s reach “Will, give it back” Quackity threatened “fine” Wilbur said with a cheap grin, tossing it back to him, Quackity caught it and tied it back around his neck, and stomped away, muttering under his breath. “Goodbye,” Wilbur breathed as he left the fairly empty casino without another word. Wilbur was waiting outside when he saw two figures moving towards the casino in the distance, one wearing a white shirt with a flame over a black shirt and a white headband and the other wearing a multicolored hoodie, he identified them as Sapnap and Karl, Quackity’s fiances “hey boys!” Will called to announce his presence, they both sighed but addressed him “hi Wilbur” they both said, knowing that the man had most definitely been flirting with Quackity. just then though, a smiling and laughing Quackity exited the casino and much to their surprise didn’t tell off Wilbur, just walked over to his fiances and walked off with them. Wilbur glared at the trio and walked off himself to go find his brother who was probably bragging about a new girlfriend that he didn’t have. Later in the evening, Wilbur went out to snowchester to find Phil to talk to. The next day Wilbur went back out to Las Nevadas to find Quackity. Upon nearing the casino he heard loud yelling which he identified as Sapnap and Karl arguing with Quackity “We just need to stay away from each other for a little bit” Sapnap finally said and Karl and Sapnap walked away with each other, leaving Quackity outside of his casino by himself “damn, every time we argue Wilbur is never around to do his little grin and make me forget about my shitty life” he sighed, slipping into the casino, clearly in a bad mood. Wilbur entered a few minutes after him, following behind until Quackity turned around to see Will looking at the tables and stuff on them “Wilbur?” Quackity asked, making him look up “I he-” Wilbur began to say but was interrupted but Quackity shut him up “shush, someone might be in here,” Quackity said frantically much to Wilbur’s displeasure “Quackity it’s 7:30 in the morning, nobody is here” Will chuckled and Quackity grinned “good,” he said and grabbed the opening of Wilbur’s brown overcoat and Kissed him, being stupid and hungover he dragged Wilbur into a closet. Wilbur stumbled out of the closet after half an hour had passed, he looked confused and his cheeks were flushed, “what the hell” he muttered to himself as he straightened out his hair and clothes and leaned against a wall, Quackity strode out a few minutes later, looking the same as usual “what the hell” Wilbur said, not angry but surprised “what?” Quackity said “what? Quackity you are engaged” Will growled. “They were yelling at me for being around you, so they can go to hell for all I care” Quackity huffed, spinning to look at the taller man who smiled but then just walked away “don’t let them catch you dumbass” he grinned and stepped outside, leaving Quackity alone again. The patrons of his casino didn’t come until it was dark out. Quackity stepped outside for a moment to collect himself and he saw his

fiances

“Hello Quackity” Sapnap said, a bit aggressively” and Quackity was instantly worried “hi” he said then Karl elbowed him “we are sorry for yelling at you earlier” he said angrily “it’s alright” Quackity assured him with a small smile before turning around and heading back into the casino but before he could go back to his table a taller figure in a brown coat with dark brown hair caught his eye and he walked over to him quickly “Wilbur!” Quackity whispered at him and Will turned to look at him “what am I not allowed to spend money” he chuckled but Quackity’s glare shut him up “no because I know you aren’t wasting money, you are looking for any way to be by me” Quackity hissed “says who, maybe I enjoy your grand shack” Wilbur snickered, turning back around “whatever just leave” Quackity spat and went back to his friends. Wilbur rolled his eyes and left but much to his surprise the fiances of Quackity were standing outside talking, they soon caught sight of Will and went towards him “leave Quackity the hell alone” Sapnap bit, Wilbur thought for a second but he didn’t want Quackity dead but he didn’t want to say something inherently sexual “sure but don’t expect to never see me here again” he grinned before walking away. Once again the next day, Wilbur returned to the casino to see Quackity getting scolded by the pair “Stop letting him around you, we don’t like him and he always flirts with you” Karl complained “Well I can’t let him in, he hasn’t done anything wrong, he is spending money and that’s that” Quackity said firmly, turning on his heel and stomping into the casino leaving the pair outside. When he walked in he saw Wilbur once more standing inside in a dark corner just like last night “Quackity” Wilbur said, turning to look and an angry Quackity “yes Wilbur” he responded, his anger softening. “Why don’t we play a little” Wilbur muttered, moving over to a table in a single smooth movement “maybe,” Quackity thought walking over to him, they played a few games then got competitive and played until they heard a loud group of people walking in the casino. The group consisted of; Charlie, Sam, Fundy, Tommy, and Ponk. Though they were a small group they still were loud “Tommy!” Quackity announced, having never seen him go in the casino before. He left his and Wilbur’s game and walked over to the newcomer that was being pushed in “hey Quackity!” Tommy said, walking over to his friend. After multiple hours of playing games and drinking Tommy made a bet with Ponk and Quackity “so I get the kid for you to give to Ponk,” Tommy said, making sure he heard them right “but I get 2 stacks of diamonds before I do this and 2 after and they both nodded “alright pay up first” Tommy said and they both gave his one stack of diamonds each “there you go, now go get the kid” Ponk said and he and Quackity went back to the table, leaving Tommy to leave for snowchester to steal the kid. Silently he put on a black cloak and approached a window just big enough for him to get in and out and shattered it, making a loud noise but he didn’t care, slipping in the cabin to hear the two upstairs a scream sounded from upstairs. He ran to the kid’s room and picked him up, running to the shattered window and bolting back for Las Nevadas then he heard a noise like an enderman teleporting and he knew he was dead, but he ran the wrong way and was suddenly facing an ocean, he turned to look and he saw a furious Ranboo running at him. He pulled the hood farther over his head and as the child was taken from him he felt a clawed hand grab his shoulder and push him forward so he walked the way he wanted him to go. He soon heard Tubbo’s sad calls for his husband then Ranboo called back to him but Tommy didn’t bother to listen to what it was “get in” Ranboo snarled and Tommy obeyed not wanting to make him angrier. Ranboo shoved him to the floor “Who are you” the tall man demanded but Tommy just whimpered and shook his head, a painful slap hit his face and repeated the phrase but Tommy just shook his head again then Ranboo grabbed his collar and made him

stand and yanked the cloak off, the light attacking his eyes was painful but not as painful as what Ranboo could do to him. “Tommy?” Ranboo asked, his voice confused but then his voice echoed through their house “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STEAL MY CHILD, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE” he snarled, and Tommy scampered outside and out of Ranboo’s view, a few minutes later Tubbo came outside to talk with him “Tommy?” Tubbo asked, his gentle voice warm in the freezing air and Tommy grunted, trying to catch his breath, Tubbo lifted the lantern he was holding so he could see Tommy better then a little giggle came from Tubbo “Tommy what’s wrong” he asked. Then Tommy ran, going back to Las Nevadas. When he returned to the casino his face was red from the cold and he didn’t have the kid. “You better get him, tomorrow man. it’s just a kid you can steal it” Quackity said, drunker than before “one of his parents is fast as hell and can teleport and the other is fast and quiet when he runs” Tommy said, “whatever man just get him tomorrow or no sobreviviras para ver el sol.” Quackity threatened before walking away and back to the table. The next day, he made his way back to his friends’ house on horseback, he knocked on the door carefully, preparing to run if it got violent, Ranboo opened the door and looked down at the man who looked terrified “unless you’ve come to apologize I don’t want to even see you” Ranboo stated. “yes I’m here to apologize for everything” Tommy said and Ranboo thanked him and sat him at the table. Tubbo came down and they talked for a while then Tubbo got up to go into his son’s room so Tommy followed knowing he had an advantage with the horse. “Ranboo might not let you near him,” Tubbo said but Tommy just shrugged. He stood in the doorway of the kid’s room until Ranboo and Tubbo went upstairs to change. Then Tommy slipped into the child’s room and grabbed the kid. He ran outside to his horse, the child crying loudly and alerting his parents but Tommy took off with his horse to Las Nevadas. Ranboo chased after him, teleporting and running until he had jumped on Tommy’s horse “Ranboo no” Tommy pleaded “Tommyinnit if you do not turn this horse around I will make you” Ranboo threatened but Tommy was more determined to get there and made his horse go faster then as Tubbo’s desperate voice calling to his husband echo through the forest and then Tommy saw black and throbbing pain in the back of his head, he slumped over and Ranboo grabbed the child and pulled the limp Tommy off of the horse, Tommy began waking up as Ranboo tied him to a tree and let his horse run back to Las Nevadas. a little while later he heard the sound of snow crunching and he looked up to see the pair approaching him “Tubbo, buddy could you help a brother out” Tommy begged but his friend just crossed his arms and shook his head “c’mon” Ranboo barked and untied him and tied his hands together. They walked him to Las Nevadas to his friends. They threatened him a bit then shoved him forward and walked off without untying his hands. He fell over into the sand when they shoved him forward so Wilbur had to help his brother up “what did I say” Quackity bit, stepping forward. He pulled out his large axe and brought it down over Tommy’s bounds “if you don’t get the kid, I will” Quackity huffed pointing his axe dangerously close to Tommy’s face. When night fell Quackity took it upon himself to let Wilbur in charge of the casino and go and get the kid himself. He stood in front of their house waiting until he heard the approaching footsteps “What” Ranboo hissed but Quackity just smiled “you fucked up my bet with Ponk is what” He spat but it only seemed to anger Ranboo. Then Quackity glanced up with the grin he gave before winning in a game and held up his axe and began to attack Ranboo but before he could kill him a large figure was in front of them, it was Phil and he was pissed. “Get lost Quackity” Phil threatened but Quackity didn’t move just thought for a second then thought better of killing an innocent man and left them alone and went back to Las Nevadas to plan.

[dtrhwithalex]

TV | Leverage (Season 1, Rewatch)

Rewatch of the first season of TNT's LEVERAGE (2008-2012), created by John Rogers and Chris Downey together with Dean Devlin and his production company Electric Entertainment.

In anticipation of the show's reboot / revival / sequel LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION coming to IMDbTV on 09 July this year, I am rewatching the original 77 episodes and writing about my favourite moments and things from each episode, season by season.

(Just a note, this first season was aired out of order, so the dates won't actually form a chronology, since I'm going with the intended order rather than the one they were aired in.)

101: THE NIGERIAN JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 07 December 2008.

I have lost count of how many times I have seen this episode (or any episodes of this show to be completely honest), but it holds up every single time. It is one of my favourite, if not the favourite TV pilot episode I have ever seen.

The way this pilot sets up who the main characters are and what the core of this show is, is simply perfect. The introduction of Nate at the bar being approached by Dubenich, then the intercut between him convincing Nate to do the job and the actual job happening -- just wonderful. The same goes for the individual introductions of the other players. Nate's comment about Parker ("no, but Parker is insane") which plants a thread for the rest of the show already, the flashbacks of each character to exemplify who they and what their talents are, combined with the episode then showing you those talents and what Nate can do with them -- which is, of course, his talent -- sets up this whole show so well.

So many seeds that come to fruition throughout the show are already planted right here. Nate's mentoring of Parker to become his eventual successor as Mastermind ("Haircuts, Parker, count the haircuts" -- "I would've missed that"), Eliot's role as protector, the iconic overhead shots and the gloating, the alternate revenue streams, "Hardison dies in Plan M" -- it's all already right here in this episode. A brilliant piece of writing. Hats off to Rogers and Downey, no questions asked.

Rewatching this episode made me think of what this show is about, in its essence. Yes, it is about standing up for those who can't do so themselves, taking on the bigger bad, showing how corrupt and terrible the world can be, but also how much good there is to still find in the world. But also, this show is about a lonely man being actively bullied into the family he didn't know he needed or wanted, but will eventually come to realise is the one thing, the only thing that is keeping him alive. LEVERAGE is the story of a man and his crusade to avenge the death of his child, but is is very much also the story of a man who finds a reason to keep getting up every morning in the four people who are on this crusade with him. And this pilot episode already holds the seed and the potential of all of that. And that is why this show is to this day still my favourite show of all time, because it is utterly perfect in every way.

102: THE HOMECOMING JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 09 December 2008.

I absolutely love how John Rogers was like okay first episode, some greedy asshole who does whatever he wants for his own gain, we'll take him down a notch. Episode two? Hmm, oh yeah, the government is completely corrupt, filled with rich greedy assholes who do whatever they want for their own gain and always get away with it. Not on my watch (I love him very much, thank you).

This episode, once again, so good. The re-introduction of every character in this new reality of Nate's crusade is just as brilliantly done as the original introduction of them all. Sophie at an audition (love the John Rogers cameo here) completely butchering it once again, Eliot beating up some thug, Parker stealing valuable art, and Hardison doing what he does best: creating a beautiful office-slash-home space for the team, putting his all into their backstories, the equipment, the behind-the-scenes workings of what they need to get the job done. My man.

The message of this particular episode is also just something I am very fond of. The rehab facility doctor's words in the beginning, and then in the end again -- "people don't just show up to help. that's not the way the world works" -- as well as Nate's ultimate answer to her, "so change the world." That right here is the message of this show. It's already right here, all up in your face, episode two.

I completely adore what this episode does for the character dynamics already. The detail Hardison puts into the other's backstories, the interactions around the conference table, Eliot sharing his knowledge, Nate explaining the money laundering scam, the whole thing about laws being in a wooden box, Sophie elaborating why she knew Congressman Jenkins was lying to her -- they don't just work together, they already start giving the others insight into their talents and their knowledge and share that. It's beautiful. I especially adore the shot of them at the end, everyone leaning against the car while watching Corporal Perry and the other veterans debating what to do with the money. They are already so comfortable and at ease with each other, leaning into each other's spaces. They're family. You can see it here already.

Absolutely fantastic episode. For a long time, whenever I thought about The Homecoming Job, I somehow associated a more negative emotion with it than with other episodes, but I don't quite know why, because this is a brilliant episode and I love watching it.

103: THE WEDDING JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 13 January 2009.

We love Jonathan Frakes in this house and every single time his name shows up with the director tag on this show, I know that I will enjoy every last second of the episode I am about to watch. Frakes directed the hell outta this thing. The Wedding Job is an absolutely excellent episode. Dan Lauria as our main baddie Nicky Moscone is perfect casting and there are so many great comedic beats in the scenes with him and Nate. Everyone, generally, is so weirded out by Priest!Nate, but Moscone just takes the weirdness in stride. This episode holds a very special place in my heart because it contains the introduction of my favourite FBI duo -- McSweeten (McSweetheart, as we call him) and Taggert. I adore these two bumbling fools so much, and I am so glad they kept being brought back, because they are both just so lovely. McSweetheart especially is very dear to me because of the D.B. Cooper Job from the last season (where, I ask, do I start my McSweetheart for Leverage: Redemption campaign?). Overall just such an excellent episode, really. So many great moments between our main characters--Sophie and Nate and their little "relationship" problem, Hardison and Eliot talking about marriage, Parker pretending she was waiting in the screening room to have sex with Hardison, Hardison appreciating Eliot's cooking. I also absolutely adore the beginning, the four of them convincing Nate that Teresa is definitely the type of client they take on. And Nate's resigned "Yeah, okay, yeah. Let's go rob Nicky Moscone. A guy who kills people and lives in our city. Yeah, let's go do that" as if they weren't going to go above and beyond any of that in the five years they will spend together on this crusade of his. You're so precious, Nathan. Of course, the ending of this episode is beyond brilliant, and lives both in my heart and my head rent free. It is such a magnificent found family moment. Getting Teresa the restaurant back, the news footage regarding Ray's appeal, and of course, Eliot cooking for them all, and them celebrating together, all of them. It is such a beautiful moment.

104: THE SNOW JOB

D: TONY BILL. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 27 January 2009.

I adore what the client says to Nate in the beginning of the episode: "You work hard, you play by the rules, but when you need help, you really need help? They let you hang. They let you hang and it's your kid who pays the price." This show hammers home its message so many times in such great character moments and it makes watching these brilliant people take on these greedy bastards and robbing them for all they've got that much sweeter. It is such a satisfying thing to watch. Especially because they're all so damn good at this.

This is a great episode but it is infinitely funnier if you know and speak German, because it makes the scenes between Sophie and Eliot absolutely hysterical. And the delivery of the line that Ute Ausgartner says when she discovers they replaced her with Sophie is just wrong enough to crack you up.

Again some wonderfully brilliant comedic beats -- the Frakes cameo in the hospital waiting room, Parker casually hanging off the ski lift, Hardison and Eliot arguing over who puts dye in the dead body, Eliot carrying off a pissed of Parker, and so many more.

This episode also, for the first time, really gives insight into Nate's drinking problem. We had the one moment in The Homecoming Job, but this episode starts to explore it more in depths. And something that I've always appreciated about this show is that it never glorifies the drinking, but Nate is also never vilified for it. It is a fact of Nate's life and they explore different aspects of it, and everything is done with such care (which does not surprise me one bit since this is John Rogers' show).

The ending of this episode is also, once again, so beautiful and nicely done. It is just so incredibly satisfying to watch these greedy bastards get what's coming to them, and to see the clients be compensated beyond anything they'd ask for.

105: THE MILE HIGH JOB

D: ROB MINKOFF. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 20 January 2009.

Another fantastic episode (you will realise that I will say this about every single of the 77 episodes this show has)! Amy Berg wrote some excellent stuff for this show, and this episode is one of them. Always a lot of great character relationship moments, and absolutely brilliant comedic beats.

I am very fond of the fact that here, in the early days, we have the whole team present around the table during the client meeting. We see all their reactions and inputs here already, and not later when Nate or Hardison (usually) relays the information of their next job to the rest of the gang. It's a very lovely moment.

I am also very fond of the entire recon bit at the GenoGrow office. Sophie's French rave-girl act, the others having to climb stairs, Hardison's absence, the cut from Parker's bomb to the microwave at the HQ, Nate, Eliot and Parker yelling "Oh it's right behind us, it's chasing us!" and grabbing Sophie on the way out, meanwhile the security guys completely buying it. Absolutely brilliant, all the way through.

Both Hardison's adventure at GenoGrow as well as the others on the plane contain so many great comedic moments. Hardison's Spanish maintenance guy act, his interactions with both Cheryl and Steve (talking into the cupboard? His fake meeting and getting Steve to take a dive? The whole birthday thing? A+ all around. Amy Berg, everyone) and of course the reaction he has to the plane safely landing on the highway ("lord I was so scared, I wanna cry and call my momma" I love him so much, y'all). I also have big feelings about Nate's pep talk to Hardison, "you can do this, I trust you ... the only guy I can count on in a situation like this." Sir, I am experiencing an emotion alright.

The sequences on the plane are of course also absolutely fantastic. Nate and Sophie's domestic, Parker's day job and her interactions with Marissa, Eliot being a big softie who holds Marissa's hand all the way up to the in-flight bar and hugs the woman he sat down next to when they safely land (womaniser, big softie. tomayto, tomahto). Also big shoutout to the fake names Nate and Sophie have. We love our DOCTOR WHO references in this show. I love these nerds very much, thank you.

106: THE TWO HORSE JOB

D: CRAIG R. BAXLEY. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 16 December 2008.

This episode also holds a very special place in my heart because it contains the introduction of our dearly beloved antagonist, Mr Jim Sterling, the absolutely amazing Mark Sheppard. We love Sterling in this house, yessir (again, where do I have to address my Jim Sterling For Leverage: Redemption campaign to?). Every moment he is in is fantastic, but I especially adore the conversation he has with Nate at the race track (especially the "Nathan Ford is a common criminal" -- "Common. That's just hurtful" bit of it).

This, of course, is an episode by our wonder twins, Glenn and Rieder (now Grasl), which they ended up naming the in-universe safe company after. Always fantastic work when the two of them are involved. Some amazing character moments again here.

We get to see some of Eliot's backstory with Aimee which in turn gives us two fantastic moments with him and the women of the team. I love his interaction with Sophie at the racetrack: "I like Aimee, I do. I mean it, I like you both, Eliot. I just, I don't know what comes of chasing the past, you know." -- "Well Sophie, sweetie, I don't think you and Nate get to serve me that particular meal." Just fantastic moment between these two, who I like to call The Conference of Mom Friends whenever they are in scenes together. The other interaction is with Parker in the car: "We need you to do this. I need you to do this." I adore Eliot and Parker's relationship and this already is a very early glimpse at the dynamic they develop which will eventually lead to beautiful moments like that in the ice cave in The Long Way Down Job in season four.

I also love how it is Hardison and Parker's discussion about horses that ultimately reminds Nate of the Lost Heir con. Aldis' delivery of "Wilbur loved Mr Ed! He loved him like a second cousin twice removed" is absolutely brilliant. Unsurprisingly, however, my favourite interaction of this episode is the one Eliot has with Aimee at the end: "You're never gonna be the kind to settle down, but I'm glad you found a family." -- "Th-those guys?" Yes, Eliot, those guys. You might not know it just yet, but that is absolutely your family, and the fact that an outsider already comments on it this early is simply perfect. My deepest gratitude to you, wonder twins.

107: THE BANK SHOT JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 30 December 2008.

Amy Berg on the typewriter once again (typewriter? Alex what are you talking about this was 2008...)! I really like this episode a whole lot. An excellent one for Nate/Sophie, as well as Hardison/Parker. I have a huge soft spot for my crime children pretending to be law enforcement. Any combination of them is good, but Parker and Hardison as FBI agents especially is just exquisite.

This episode is also just fantastic for illustrating some of the small town criminal activity that happens from the top down. Judge Roy's entire bit about how "these little people" will do and say whatever he tells them to do and that, because he is the law in the town, he gets to decide what is actually true and what is not. To then have Hardison fake security footage and them turning the story against Judge Roy is of course poetic justice. I adore the moment when the bank manager Frank decides that sticking with the false facts these random people have come up with is the better choice than having the judge remain in charge.

I also really love the interaction Derrick has with Sophie and then later with Parker, as well as the moment of uncertainty in-between. His "I don't know what to do with that" when Sophie tells him she's a thief is so funny and so good. The turn of "but they're criminals....then again" when he looks out of the window on the way to Parker is also just a nice moment to illustrate exactly what Parker then later says, "sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get." Ethics and justice are such muddy concepts and especially in situations like Derrick is currently in, there is no way of knowing who is actually good, who is bad, and who is just trying their best. It is a lovely moment and once again, one of those great instances of "important message within character moment" that this show does so well.

Of course, I am also very fond of Hardison's mention of DOCTOR WHO, his "Geek power baby, stay strong" line, Eliot's fight scene with the crack dealers ("stay in the car!"), Hardison's bullshitting the demands at the bank (Hall & Oates!) and, of course, last but not least, the return of my favourite FBI fools, McSweetheart and Taggert, getting yet another win laid in their lap by the Leverage crew. This episode is filled to the brim with greatness.

108: THE MIRACLE JOB

D: ARVIN BROWN. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 23 December 2008.

An absolutely excellent Nate-centric episode! We finally get a bit more of a view into Nate's past, aside from the ever-present flashback to Sam's death at the hospital. I really like the relationship of Nate and Father Paul, which I think is very interesting and so well done. Through Paul we get another side of Nate, which may have stayed hidden otherwise. I am also very fond of how Maggie is introduced here. She doesn't get a voice yet, but we learn about her through Nate, Sophie and also Paul, and I quite like that. It sets up expectations for her appearance in the finale, which is really intriguing.

This episode has so many great comedic beats as well, and I barely even know where to begin. From the team's inability to deal with Sophie's acting talents (or lack thereof) to the whole "It's not Santa" gag, the amazing faces Sophie pulls when the mark tells her about Bibletopia, Hardison's "God will smite us" thing -- there is just too much good stuff in this episode.

One of my favourite interactions in this episode was on the construction site, after Grant takes what he thinks are his meds.

Sophie: What is that you just took? Grant: Xanax. For my nerves. Parker: Actually caffeine. With a dash of dextroamphetamine. Eliot: You have him speed? Hardison, shrugging: He beat up a priest!

The look Eliot gives them then with a half-shrug, an expression which cannot be described as anything but "aight, fair enough" -- just absolutely excellent.

What I also really loved about this episode, is that we get to see more of the HQ than just the conference room. We have the team meeting in Nate's office, we see Sophie picking through her mail, Hardison making space so he can build fake Saint Nick statues. Added to that, the team is setting into such a nice familiarity with each other. Eliot brings Sophie a cup of coffee to the meeting in Nate's office. The fact that they all do get mail at the office. This is their space. I love it so much.

What this episode also gives us, is a first instance of the con possibly going side-ways because of how convincing it is. I adore that their possible downfall will never be incompetence, but rather over-competence. They are so good at what they do that sometimes their talent comes to bite them in the ass. We see this again, a bit different, in The Juror #6 Job.

The ending of this episode is very dear to me. It is a very lovely moment between Nate and Paul, but also Nate and the team. It creates such a beautiful moment of intimacy between these characters, which I think is done with extreme care, and it shows. This episode also very nicely sets up a nice sort of grounded-ness for the next episode, which I think the subject matter really deserves and needs.

109: THE STORK JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 06 January 2009.

This one and the next episode are excellent Parker-centric plots and this one in particular also has some wonderful Parker/Hardison content. Nate, also, is just very good in this episode as well. Keeping the tone the last episode established especially toward the end, this episode has such a nice grounded-ness to it. Nate's first meeting with the client is so careful in a way, and we don't always see that. Generally, Nate is careful and considerate in this episode, I think. Even when Parker goes rogue, he is so good with Parker (I attribute the brashness entirely to his director role here). It meant so much that he doesn't shoot down the idea of coming back for the other orphans, he knows how important this is to Parker (and Hardison).

With this episode we learn that both Parker and Hardison have grown up in the foster system. I really adore the conversation they have at the van after they find out about the orphanage -- Hardison telling Parker about his Nana, Parker's fear that foster system will be cruel to those children, Hardison's "I like how you turned out" -- it is such a lovely and meaningful moment. This and the "we're a team" / "a little more than a team" moments are such great instances that highlight the importance of these characters and their relationships in this show. It isn't just some crime procedural where every characters is replaceable at any given moment -- this show is about people, and about these specific people.

On a lighter note, I also really adore Nate and Sophie's dynamic in this. How they coach Parker and Eliot individually but at the same time, while also arguing about Sophie conning Nate back in the day, is just brilliant. Their "delightful banter" as Hardison calls it, is so good, and I absolutely love that Nate figures out the way to con Irina is the same way he would have to con Sophie. It's just too good.

David S. Lee as Nicholas is also incredibly good, although since watching THE LIBRARIANS I always expect him to swoon over a blonde and call her Duchess any minute.

110: THE JUROR #6 JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: REBECCA KIRSCH. Original Air Date: 10 February 2009.

The lighter of the two Parker-centric episodes, but a brilliant one nonetheless. This episode also brings us the introduction of Peggy played by the lovely Lisa Schurga. We love Peggy in this house and, once again, I ask: where do I address my Peggy For Leverage: Redemption campaign to?

This episode is great for many different reasons, one of course being that Hardison is so good at what he does, that Parker's alias has to go to jury duty. What a talent, we absolutely have no choice but to stan. I love him so much. Other fantastic things that make this episode absolutely excellent are

- Nate's "there is not some evil conspiracy lurking behind the curtain of every routine civic activity" speech which he then has to retract,

- Sophie teaching Parker about persuasion with the help of Eliot who is absolutely precious in this interaction,

- Eliot's friend Donnie, who poses as another employee from the company Sophie pretends to be from, who then turns out to be Scottish,

- Nate and Sophie sending the kids off to work at the door, with a briefcase and handshake for Hardison and a snack and high-five for Parker,

and Hardison's entire act as a lawyer. He is so good. Of course his stalling is brilliant, but the turn-around once he has to actually try and win the trial? A masterpiece. I love how he tears the doctor apart for his drunken airplane misconducts, but what takes the cake by miles is of course his closing statement. He is just, so good, and such a goodhearted, wonderful person. I love how he directly addressed Parker. Hardison is full of sunshine and I love. him. so. much.

And I would be remiss not to mention how incredibly fond I am of the rest of the team watching the feed of the jury room from the HQ with such proud looks on their faces as Parker leads the other jury members and they vote in favour of the plaintiff. This is their girl and she's done so well. What a brilliant episode. My love to Becky Kirsch, honestly.

111: THE 12-STEP JOB

D: ROD HARDY. W: AMY BERG & CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 03 February 2009.

Another episode, another instance of me asking the question: Where do I address my Hurley for Leverage: Redemption campaign to? We love Hurley! Drew Powell is absolutely fantastic, I adore him. Also huge shoutout to Joseph LoDuca for that absolute banger of a song that plays during the intro and the credits.

This episode has some fantastic Eliot/Hardison moments that are very dear to me. The two of them looking for Hurley and fighting over Hardison's slushy spill is just lovely. The whole car bomb sequence is also just completely brilliant. It's such a step in their relationship and I love it so much. The moment of "D'you want me to kick it?" / "God, I'm gon' die" is a wonderful comedic beat in this tense situation, but it is the bit after that I really adore. Hardison figuring out how to trick the bomb and then,

Eliot: What's our margin of error here? Hardison: 'bout half a second. Eliot: Run the ba-bag of bricks by me again? Hardison: Are you ready? Eliot: No.

I am just, so fond of these two. Also the fact that Eliot's hand shakes when he reaches for the cables and waits for Hardison's signal always puts me all up in my feelings about him. I also of course adore the scene at the rehab facility with Hardison's "I'm with him. No, I am with him. See, he thinks the flirting makes me jealous, but it doesn't. But if you was like Brad Pitt or Denzel or somebody, oh girl it would be on." It love it so much.

Nate, of course, is also just great in this episode. His entire experience in rehab is another wonderful insight into his character, his issues, how he sees himself and so on. The hallucination of Sterling says so much about him. I think this also very nicely sets up how Nate behaves in the finale double episode.

I also really want to mention Parker here, because Parker in rehab is also something I am very fond of. I love the moment where she pickpockets the Koreans searching for Hurley and then so innocently comes to Nate to confess what she's done and tells him in this tiny voice "I didn't meant to, it was just instinct." I love her so much. And her, at the end of the episode, skipping along and then running toward her people, jumping on Eliot while tossing her stuff at Nate, and then going to hug Hardison, is such a lovely moment. I love how the three of them then walk toward the car arm in arm, too. I love these kids.

112: THE FIRST DAVID JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 17 February 2009.

First half of the first finale! I gotta say I really love the David Jobs very much. It is such a fantastic first finale. I really adore how the opening of this episode is mirrored in the opening of the second half.

Given the set-up of the previous episode, I really like how for a first time watcher, this opening sequence very much looks like Nate is completely off the rails doing his own thing getting revenge on the man who, basically, killed his son. It isn't until Blackpoole introduces Nate to 'Portia' and we see Sophie turn around that it becomes clear that we're on the con, which I think is done very nicely. Only then giving the viewer the "how we got here" part is just great.

This episode of course also brings us, finally, Maggie (yes, I'll ask again: where do I address my Maggie For Leverage: Redemption campaign to?). I absolutely love how she is introduced here as Eliot's date. I also love how absolutely terrified Eliot looks once he realises that she isn't just anyone, but Nate's ex-wife. Maggie is such an excellent character, and I adore her. I also am very appreciative that this episode holds the singular moment of jealousy Sophie has toward Maggie. After her momentary outburst as Maggie tells Nate she hasn't stopped caring about him, we never see it again. Even better, once Maggie learns about Nate's crew, Sophie and her even become friends. And it is lovely.

We also have some great Parker/Hardison moments in this episode as well. I adore Parker and her enthusiasm for their "little naked man" and Hardison being weirded out about it (and turning the little David around so Parker can change in private). I, of course, absolutely love the kiss (and Eliot's grinning question at Sophie who of the two of them Parker had kissed) and then the theft of the First David. Hardison is so in awe of Parker and it is a sight to behold.

I also quite enjoy the "downfall" in this episode. Sterling showing up (we love the bastard), the fight between Eliot and Mr Quinn, the conversation about Sophie conning them on the roof, and then of course the final confrontations on that same roof as well as the HQ. This whole thing of "and then I asked myself, what would Parker do?" / "but then I thought, what would Hardison do?" is just brilliant and lovely. It shows how far they have all come throughout this first season and how much they have learned from each other already. I am very fond of it.

I am sad about the offices being blown up, though. As much as I love both McRory's pub and Nate's apartment in Boston, as well as the Brewpub in Portland, I've always really liked the LA offices as well. It was their first home and it was lovely. I am however very happy that Old Nate made it out unscathed.

113: THE SECOND DAVID JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 24 February 2009.

And the last episode! As I've said above, I adore how this opening sequence mirrors that of The First David Job. Similarly, I also love how until Sophie notices Parker's laser pointer and Eliot sees Hardison, as a viewer you assume they are on the job together, which is again the reversal of the first half of the finale. Just lovely storytelling, I adore it. Speaking of mirrors, the scene in the MC Hammer mansion where Nate inconspicuously manages to get them all thinking about the con together and putting their differences aside once more, also mirrors one of my favourite scenes from the first episode of season two, where the team does the same to Nate.

This episode on the whole I also just marvellous. Eliot's awkward date with Maggie, Nate finally telling Maggie about Blackpoole's involvement (or lack thereof) in Sam's death, the team involving Maggie in the planning of the con and her, precious as she is, questioning Nate's ability to just get people to do what he wants -- it is all just so good. I love Maggie on the con, too. Sophie coaching her, how good Maggie is at it immediately. Just lovely.

Then, of course, the entirety of the con from the moment Nate shows up at the museum. Sterling hurrying all over the place trying to figure out what Nate's plan is, finding out about the mummy, the release of the gas, the evacuation, the David statue replicas, them finally getting in and finding Nate alone in the exhibit room. I adore that shot of him leaning against the display case with the two Davids still inside, only highlighted from the open hatch in the roof. It is such a beautiful shot. I really enjoy Nate and Sterling's dynamic here, too. And I am very happy that Maggie gets to punch Blackpoole just like Nate got to in the episode before. They both deserve to give this man hell.

The ending of this episode and therefore this season always has me in all of my emotions. If I didn't know there would be more after this, I would just go lie down and weep for a while after watching it. The trademark overhead walkaway shot is of course a must, but the fact that they stop, that all of them hesitate, thinking about turning around, thinking about changing their minds. And then it cuts to black, and if this had been it, we would've never known! Ah, what a show, what a first season. I am completely in love with this show, as pretty much everyone knows, but I just -- this show is so damn good. It gets me every single time. Every time.

[image taken from the electricnow website]

[tvmoviechristmas]

Deck the Halls (TNT, 2011)

All I want is to be prettier than my best friend Monica. She’s so full of herself.

Starring: Kathy Najimy, Scottie Thompson, Larry Miller, Eric Johnson

Plot Synopsis: Detective Regan Reilly and cleaning-woman-turned-private-eye Alvirah Meehan, investigate the kidnapping of Regan's father and a young female driver just before the holidays. The race is on to rescue the pair and get them home in time for Christmas. (x)

In My Humble Opinion: “For the most part, Deck the Halls is the kind of mystery movie that would seem to easily slot into Hallmark Movies and Mysteries’ line-up. With its quirky crime solving duo featuring a cleaning woman and a ballsy FBI agent and its lower stakes case, it’s actually amazing that this movie works as well as it does.

(Random Side Note: If you were wondering how TNT’s Deck the Halls compares to the other films with the same title, I would say that it is easily the best of the bunch. Sorry Danny DeVito & Matthew Broderick’s decorating movie! Sorry Gabrielle Carteris’s 2006 Lifetime romcom! You lose in this incredibly important battle!)”

That’s all I had drafted in this section of the review when I started writing it in August 2016. Yes, August 2016. That’s two American elections ago. That was before Lifetime decided to get into the 30-films-a-year arms race with Hallmark. That was before diversity was a thought in any executive’s minds. We were different people when I started this review. As a society.

It is an absurdly long time to come back to a draft of something, especially a review. I think a part of me thought that I never would have to come back to these drafts to clear them out. That they would languish there forever, even after the blog closed its doors. That the new content would just kept getting more and more overwhelming and as a result nobody would ever find out that I quite enjoyed TNT’s Deck the Halls.

Sure, I found the mystery’s conclusion to be rushed and the title nonsensical. Still the genre was different than the usual small town romantic comedy fare, the marriage of the cleaning woman “sidekick” and her husband was heartwarming and the soundtrack was so bizarre it was fascinating such as the opening credit sequence set to a song titled “Santa, You Suck”. 

Now I’m making a commitment to clear out the rest of my drafts once and for all because I don’t want to leave any of my very important films thoughts on the shelf. I made these extensive notes on Deck the Halls (2011) so that one day I could tell the people about it. And so I am telling you now. It’s a fun time! I seemed to have enjoyed myself when I watched this over four years ago! Hooray!

Anyway, it’s very important that you take extensive notes when you have a writing project, so that if you ever come back to a made-for-TV Christmas movies four years after you originally started it you are still able to remember what you wanted to say. That’s advice you can grow on.

Watch If: You think your birth experience was naturally one of the most exciting moments of your existence, if you are well known for recording every conversation you hear on a fancy broach or if you are over 30 and get into pillow fights with your parents all the time.

Skip If: You think Irish people can remember things besides grudges, if you are a parent who wouldn’t nag your daughter about her dating life if she was busy making national headlines as a serial killer catcher, or if you think going to the dentists is better than being kidnapped for a week.

Final Rating: ★ ★ ★ (★) ☆

If you like this blog, please consider donating to my Kofi page! You can also donate money to kbange@gmail.com through either Venmo or CashApp. Thank you!

[wtfneopetss]

Masterpost of Padfoot’s OCs

This is long because I have a LOT of pets... So I’m gonna put it under a read more. Including their current customizations/any artwork associated with them. Going to group them by character storyline, starting with my one-offs. AKA not really developed characters set by themselves or with one or two other pets.

Stand Alones/No Real Character Development/Need to work on:

Amethystira aka Sis. Affectionately called my Queen of Bones. Sis was adopted as a baby xweetok and started being trained for the BD back when the obelisk was starting to be whispered about. She had a character along with some other baby pets I had but I scrapped them all but hers, adopted out the three other babies and morphed her into a pirate draik. Then I was sick of looking at her as a pirate draik so I painted her green. Then I realized I didn’t actually like draiks so I started zapping. Then the lab decreased a few of her stats. I didn't want to waste NP so I started fucking around in DTI and customized a Transparent Blum and decided I needed her. She’s also my booktastic books pet and will eventually be my gourmet pet. She doesn’t have an actual character yet, unfortunately. 

Current HSD: 1735 Currently training: Defence, supplementing with FQCs. Booktastic Books read: 138/161 JN Estimated Cost to Complete: 36,760,000 NP

Alaeri. I got Alaeri from Happy Zappers (idk if they even exist anymore, but they were like ZYDP) on April 4th 2013. I really love chocolate pets. Back when Neoschool was a thing here on the Neotag, Alaeri was a small part of it, but she doesn’t really have a character. Just that she’s a laid-back, outdoorsy lesbian. That’s literally it.

Efflie. I created Efflie 5 years ago and used an FFQ on her. I love aishas, I love chocolate pets. Her homepage is also home to the UC Trading Guide /~Efflie. She’s Alaeri’s girlfriend. But she’s more uptight and prissy. And that’s about it for her character.

Axella. I created a custom for a halloween guild challenge and fell so in love with it, I had to create her. I adopted Axella recently after seeing him UFA and shot off a quick NM app. He needs a gender change which I’m too lazy to send him to another account rn, but he’ll get it. Aside from that, no character at all.

Oracle Story Line

Oracle is being totally reworked right now. It was originally a storyline that I worked on with my friend Jezza who had a place called New Earth with her OCs. Oracle was founded by New Earth scientists on a planet far-yet sorta close by- and terraformed. Things went south in New Earth and all communication was cut off from Oracle. Oracle flourished for a quite some time and then had a crash in their stock market which prompted a civil war. When the dust cleared, Oracle was seized by the four remaining wealthiest families who promised to rebuild Oracle into her former glory. Unfortunately, they did not and they split Oracle into four quadrants to be headed by each family. Ravaged by the civil war and now basically a dictatorship with each quadrant ruled by a family, a rebellion begins to form by a group of the citizens, held up by two idealistic young adults. After nearly 30 years of fighting what seems to be a losing battle, these two adults are captured, tried for crimes against the land and executed. Their only child, a daughter who ran away in her teen years, is now called upon by the remaining rebels to become the new face of the resistance and give hope to the remaining members.

I’m reworking this with some friends to be set in a Neopian-centric land. I think what we’re going to do is make Oracle a province of Moltara, since it’s a steampunk post apocalyptic setting, and we’ll work in the Oracle lore with Neopia lore.

Drisit. I’ve had Drisit for longer than my 6 year old daughter has been alive. When I was pregnant with Lily, I got REALLY back into Neopets. I used to frequent the gifting boards back then (they were a lot different than they are now) and at the time, I really liked white xweetoks. So a user, who’s UN I still remember, gifted me Drisit. (I was able to later repay her by gifting her a female rb draik) Drisit is the pet that inspired me to create neo OCs and start doing art of my pets.

Drisit is the daughter of the fallen rebel leaders. As a child, she was trained in fighting by her father and in advanced military tactics by her mother. They groomed her essentially to take over the rebellion when she was old enough. Resisting their demands, Drisit ran away at sixteen years old. She survived on the streets, but just barely. For the poor, Oracle is a very hard place to live. But it gave her street smarts, sharpened her reaction time and many other things. After hearing of her parents death, Drisit returns to her childhood home to find it vacant. After a few days of staying there, mourning, the rebels made contact with her, asking her to return, to be the new face of the rebellion. Conflicted about it, Drisit does return and quickly finds herself as the head of the rebellion.

Symblor. I adopted Symblor from an UFQA board. She’s getting a complete customization overhaul. Depending on how the steampunk aisha looks, she may get that or she may just be painted silver. 

Symblor is Drisit’s right hand woman. She was sold by her parents to a group of bandits at a young age for drug money. After being put through many many horrors she was found by Drisit’s father near death. Drisit’s father was able to essentially keep her alive by turning her into a cyborg. The government that rules Oracle has outlawed cybernetic enhancements so it’s very hard for her to find replacement parts when her rudimentary parts given by Drisit’s father start to fail. She’s terrified of being caught, tried for treason and executed, so she’s mostly behind the scenes. Very intelligent and cunning, Symblor devises most of the rebel attacks/missions. She’s the one who contacted Drisit after her parents death and the two became quick friends. She’s a few years younger than Drisit.

V5S aka V. V was another UFQA acquisition. I love chocolate pets a lot. They’re fun to draw :3

V was an orphan found as a young child by an elderly couple who owned a bakery in Oracle. The bakery was passed down through the family and was once very prosperous many many years ago. Now, however, it is quite run down although V still provides treats when she can through illicit means (stealing stuff so she doesn’t always sell stale bread lawls) V is quite the risk taker and mostly uses her bakery as a front for the rebels to have meetings in her basement. She’s also the one in contact with Ave’s palace being the go between with Ave and Drisit (more on Ave later). She’s also skilled in medicine and often patches up the rebels after a skirmish. Her character needs much development however.

messr_m00ny aka Moony. I created Moony before the conversions. He was always destined to be a werelupe like his namesake, Remus Lupin. I took a hiatus before conversions and came back and unfortunately, had not painted him before then. Eventually I just sucked it up, despite preferring the UC version and made him into the werelupe he was always meant to be.

Moony is one half of a bandit duo. He’s the talkative, charming one. Growing up on the outskirts near the roughest part of Oracle, he had to steal and conive to survive. Although he has a way with the ladies, often seducing them for information, he is indeed very gay. Depending on how steampunk lupes look, he may get a repaint. Unsure.

Trelm was a stuck pet. I adopted him and painted him Stealthy myself. He’s the second half of the bandit duo and Moony partner, both in crime and romantically.

Trelm used to be a wisecracking, never serious, always jolly type. Despite having it hard growing up, he tried to hold onto a positive outlook. He and Moony found each other as young teens, orphans who grew up on the streets of Oracle. The two were always out for adventure, getting into scraps and fights, stealing, all sorts of illicit things to survive. And they were fairly good at it as well.

Until they met with the wrong group of raiders. After a fight that they nearly lost, Trelm had his throat cut and vocal chords severed. With some quick thinking, Moony got his partner to the bakery he had heard of where the  owner was able to save lives. After this, Moony decided for the two of them they were done with their banditry ways and were talked into joining the rebels by V. Trelm is now mute. He’s petpage also hosts the UC/BD trading guide, /~Trelm.

Iramkayim aka Iram. Iram is a funny story. A long long time ago, I came up with a character set in Oracle for an UC Grey Lupe that I was applying for. The owner eventually disappeared and I still stalked the Lupe for years. I saw him on a new account and apparently, the old owner had returned and traded at some point. Into a permanent home *sad face*

So a few months ago, I happened across a user adopting out their UCs. It was the lupes owner! He wasn't one of the ones that were UFA but I mailed the owner and told her I had applied for him and was wondering if she would be willing to trade. Instead, she offered to let me adopt! I was over the fucking moon. I had loved and watched this lupe afar for six or seven years.

Well. Long story short, he was from a compromised account, TNT reversed the adoption and the real owner got him back. Which is bittersweet. I’m glad she got her accounts/pets back, but he was once again in a permanent home.

So I started rethinking things. The character I made was very tragic, which is why I wanted an UC Grey Lupe. They are sad. But then, after thinking about it, while his character is tragic he’s ready to fight. Mostly because of revenge. So I decided on an UC Mutant Lupe cos they’re designs are fucking awesome.

So meet Lieutenant Iram Kayim. Iram grew up in the worst place of Oracle with poor excuses for parents. He fought throughout his life, always in some sort of trouble and as he got older, spending nights in jail. He was ruthless. Catching the eyes of some government officials, he was eventually drafted into their military. Quickly rising through the ranks, eventually, Iram becomes one of the inner circles most trust, often tasked with dangerous and immoral tasks.

Until he meets a young woman, the daughter of a man in the government. Iram falls in love with her, who softens his heart and makes him rethink his cruel ways. Eventually, they have a child, a daughter. Unbeknownst to Iram, his wife is secretly involved with the rebellion, a close confidante to Drisit and before her, her parents. She is able to give them information she learns through her father and Iram. One night she sneaks off to be a part of a raid, her daughter following closely behind her. She dies and Drisit finds Brenna, their daughter, crying over her mother's body. Trying to escape with Brenna in her arms, the two are shot and Brenna dies. Iram finds out the next day at work and immediately goes into a rage, and after inflicting some damage on one of his coworkers, quits his job.

He begins to drink his life away, living in the house, haunted by the ghosts of his wife and daughter until one day, Drisit shows up and offers him a proposal he can't refuse. Fueled by revenge, Iram becomes a soldier for the rebellion and eventually, he and Drisit fall in love.

CountessAvenge aka Countess Avenge aka The Countess aka Ave. Ave was my longest goal on Neo. It took me many years of trading to finally achieve her.

Ave is the daughter of one of the four families. She grew up not knowing the plight of the Oracle people. In fact, the only time she ever ventured beyond the castle gates was the day of her wedding. She was entered into a prearranged marriage to the leader of one of the four families. After the wedding took place in Ave’s castle, she journyed by carriage to her husbands palace and her heart broke at seeing her fellow citizens as she traveled across the land.

Once she reached her destination, Ave vowed to somehow, someway, change circumstances for her citizens. End their poverty stricken lives and give them and their children a future. Little did she know her new husband was a cruel man who delighted in his power. Growing depressed, Ave thought of ending her life since, as far as she could tell, she would not be able to help her people. Until she meets V, who is delivering some baked goods to the castle once a month. After talking in secret, V convinces Ave to supply the rebels with invaulable information.

Ave is the reason I am reworking Oracles storyline to be included in Neopia. Eventually, she meets Elle. Elle is the character my friend Coral has for an UC RG Kyrii she hopes to own one day. The two fall in love and carry out a secret relationship. Since the story is being reworked, I don’t have much info on the two yet, but they are hands down my OTP.

Twins of Shenkuu (and other characters)

These characters are based in Neopia and are RP’d with two of my friends and their characters. We’re working on getting a hub up at some point. There are actually two character groups involved in this, the Twins being the first.

Juni_Kava aka Juni. Juni was the crown princess of Shenkuu. Her father is Princess Lunara’s brother. We’re still working on the lore. She’s the only daughter with six brothers, one being her twin. Chase is the stand-in name for her twin, an UC Fae Wocky that my friend Gromit hopes to have one day.

Juni was born with a magical ability to influence air/mist. She was in line for the crown, along with her twin. Juni always followed her parents instructions, excelling at anything she tried. It was always thought she would become the next Queen. 

Until one day she is approached by the Moon Pheonix, a legendary creature that many stories were told of. However, everyone chalks the Moon Pheonix up to just that, a legend. Kyukuon (an UC Fae Pteri owned by my friend Coral) is the Moon Pheonix, charged with being a protector of sorts. It seems the Guardian of Shenkuu, another creature thought to be that of legend, is dying and Kyu has been tasked with finding the next Guardian. Unbeknownst to the twins, they have been observed in secret for quite some time by Jo, (UC Fae Xwee owned by Gromit) who is Kyu’s apprentice. When the time comes, Kyu makes contact with Juni and explains the situation to her, explaining that she is destined to be the next guardian. Fashioning a secret gateway between realms that will connect Juni to the castle and her family, Kyu convinces Juni to come with her to begin her training, leaving her brothers to vy between themselves for the throne.

AdaWong aka Ada. For generations, Ada’s family is one of the families tasked with protecting the Queen and King of Shenkuu, along with their descendants. Her mother and father are the current guards to the King and Queen and Ada was born at the same time as Juni. Growing up as best friends, Ada’s destiny was always been that she would become Juni’s protector. Eventually being sent off in her teenage years to begin her training, to a very very secret place, Ada and Juni are devastated to be separated. Secretly, they were in love but knew they could never be together due to Juni’s responsibility to the throne and the inevitable marriage and children she would eventually be expected to produce.

When Ada returns to the palace, she finds her friend gone and must make the decision, should she stay and become the protector of whichever brother inherits the throne, or follow her true love into an unknown adventure. Ada’s character has much to be worked on, but I think it’s a no-brainer what she chooses to do.

KittyRTM aka Katrina Rose aka Kitty. Kitty was born into a well-respected, but slightly lesser noble family. The family was known worldwide for providing some of the best produce from Faerieland, but they were most famous for their position in working alongside and assisting Queen Fyora. They were growing strong in Faerieland and were accumulating power through both their high ranking position with Fyora, and their thriving industry, but when Faire's father unexpectedly passed, things changed for the worse for Kitty and her family. Faire's mother had to sell their many farms to keep the pride of the family, the High Garden Estate, secure within the family.

There is quite a lot going on with Kitty’s family and it’s waaay to much to type up here. But if you’d like to know more, I’m currently in the process of changing my former project page for an UC Fae Aisha into her actual character page located on /~KittyRTM. I am very much in love with her character.

The Supernaturals

These pets also cross over into the Twins storyline and are RP’d with Coral and Gromit. They arent as prominent as the above characters and are also their own stand alone group. Many of them need character development.

Stariea aka Star. Star was an apprentice of Sophie the Swamp Witch when she was young and also worked for a time under Jhudora. She ties into the above characters through Sil and Jess (an UC Dari Eyrie and an UC Dari Lupe) that are owned by my friend Coral. 

Star is an exceptionally talented sorceress. She is feared by many, but instead of actually being malicious, she’s moreso out for herself than anyone else. After leaving Jhudora due to a disagreement, Star greatly dislikes the dark faerie and will do whatever she can to disrupt or irritate her. She still has a good working relationship with Sophie, however. Star is accompanied by Bonnie and Clyde, her bearclops. Bonnie was a meowclops and Clyde was a bearog. After an experiment gone wrong, they were fused together. They’re about the size of Jhudora’s pets, Daisy and Sarah. 

She is also accompanied by Bernard, a swamp ghoul she picked up on her travels. Bernard is not his real name, Star doesn’t know it. Although she treats him as a lowly assistant, he is quite terrifying in his own right, but he sticks with Star because she’s one of the few he’s crossed paths with that doesn’t run screaming from him on sight.

Falxo is a necromancer who was captured by Jhudora with the hopes that she would learn his magic. Disfigured due to her many experiments, since he wouldn’t just give up the information, Falxo and Star became close when she worked under Jhudora and Falxo was her prisoner. In fact, Falxo (alone with Sil and Jess, although Star doesn’t like Jess) was the reason Star rebelled against her teacher. Helping the three escape, Falxo opted to stay with Star. He’s somewhat silent and keeps to himself. The two are in a relationship and enjoy learning from one another. His character needs to be worked on as well.

Morovo aka Oro. Oro is akin to a crossroads demon. She’s able to make deals, promising fame and fortune to those that summon her. All she asks in return is something very simple, their soul. She meets Star when she’s summoned during an experiment Star and Falxo are attempting. Her character also needs heavy work.

Solariasae aka Solar. Solar is a young, clumsy witch who hounds Star to take her on as an apprentice. Her character will most likely be further developed based on what happens after The Wraith Resurgance. 

tocanini aka Toci. Toci is a druid who strives to protect all life. That’s literally all I have for her. Sorry Toci. We’ll work on you, I promise.

Spiritox aka Spirit. Yea Idk about him. He’s bad. But that’s all I got. Does magic. Or something. 

Liliaise aka Lili. She summons stuff. Idk anything else. Just that shes gonna be involved with all the above pets. 

Ryzzal and his partner Trikil (more on her next) are also tied into the Twins and Supernaturals through my friend coral’s pirate eyrie, Izi. Ryzzal ran away at a young age from his fathers home due to fear. He’s biologically male but is nonbinary. Fearing his father would find out, Ry left home. Eventually he ends up on Krawk Island, securing a job as a wench that serves the Food Club. He’s the prettiest girl in the room and has a slight fear of being found out to be male, but is generally accepted. Flirting around with the pirates, Ry loves his life. He still needs much development and I’ve never had a nonbinary character, so please don’t crucify me if I write him wrong. I’m always looking to learn more and happy to take critiques and suggestions!

Trikil aka Trikky aka Trik. Trik is an adventurous pirate who is always on the lookout for new treasure and adventure. She’s a regular on Krawk Island, especially since she met her partner Ryzzal, after frequenting the Food Club for fun and drinks. Although she isn’t always around, she has come to call Krawk Island home and looks foward to returning just as much as she looks forward to engaging on her next adventure. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Her character also needs work.

The Space Explorers

These two are completely on their own, not touching any of my other pets. I do have a slight work around with @grobleen’s character, Cregan and some interaction with my friend Shanna’s space based pets. If you have spaced based pets, get at me! I’d love to expand this to include your pets as well!

Nirohean aka Niro. Niro is a fun loving bounty huntress. She can either be found bebopping around space looking for her next bounty, or stopping in on a nearby planet looking for the next party. She’s talented at her job, but loves having fun as well. She takes bounties that are interesting to her and isn’t ALWAYS on the side of the law, although she tries to be. She’s accompanied by her childhood best friend and pilot, Criliu and her Mechanized Laboratory Assistant Ridgewell that Criliu built for her. Ridgewell is a mixture between Portal 2s Wheatley and Fallout 4′s Cogsworth.

Criliu aka Cri. Cri is Niro’s best friend and pilots her ship. He’s a huge tech nerd and helps Niro with her bounties often by hacking into things and getting her information that other bounty hunters aren’t privy to. While Niro is an extrovert, Cri prefers to be alone with his ship and his gadgets. He’s secretly in love with Niro, but doesn’t know how to tell her.

Exhales Whew. That’s a lot of OCs. A lot of them need a lot of work. But I’m always open to friendships/relationships with other people’s OCs. Feel free to ask questions or whatever else with any of these babs!

[ladyddanger]

My tnt duo had an affair in Pogtopia is one of my favorite aus and since y’all seemed to really like it here’s the summary. Bouns points if you can spot the Hamilton references. (If you have any questions or want to know more send an ask I love talking about my aus :]

Tw// abuse mental instability

It started with Quackity having enough of Schlatt’s bullshit. One bad night, when he wasn’t actually sure if Schlatt was joking about cutting his throat with a beer bottle he slipped away into the woods. He ran into Wilbur. Quackity was sad and Wilbur was self destructive and touch starved and one thing led to another. They never really meant for it to happen again. Neither thought the other would show up when they agreed to meet the next day.

Quackity made a 1000 excuses for it, but the truth was Wilbur was gentle and made him feel beautiful. And Quackity really wanted to feel wanted. Wilbur knew it was wrong and couldn’t bring himself to care. He already hated himself, already knew he was a terrible person what was one more bad action when Quackity was so pretty and willing? Wilbur claimed he was going for a smoke. Quackity told everyone he was going for a run and if he came back flushed and humming under his breath the rest of the cabinet said nothing.

They never found out who took the pictures of them. It could have been anyone. Wilbur got an letter filled with pictures of them and a note demanding money for silence. For Wilbur it was a simple choice. Black mail never ended well neither did hiding the truth. So without telling Quackity, Wilbur published the pictures himself and confessed to everything.

The press went wild. Schlatt was publicly humiliated. Not only was his trophy husband cheating on him right under his nose it was with his worst enemy. Quackity was put under investigation for high treason. The only reason he wasn’t removed from office was because he testified that Schlatt had asked him to spy on Pogtopia (which was technically true) and Quackity was simply using every advantage he had to get information. In the press Wilbur was painted as a poor innocent man who was evilly charmed by Quackity, a thing to be pitied. Look how far the fromer president had fallen poor thing that he was so easily tricked now. The general agreement around Quackity was that he was a slut.

[tvmoviesreview]

Good Behavior

Before starting I want you to know that English is not my first language, so sorry for all the mistakes that you will find in this article (I will do my best, I promise) and I’m gonna warn you now: this article will contain spoilers, so if you want to watch the show and have some surprises stop reading here.

 I hear about Good Behavior haphazardly on twitter and I remembered when I watched the trailer for the first time I thought “That seems nice, I will watch it”. The truth was I didn’t know what the show was about (the trailer doesn’t give much about the show, and I didn’t read the books which the show is based on) and I didn’t have much time to watch TV shows, so I forgot about it few minutes after watching the trailer. But Good Behavior came back to me many times for a very simple reason, I follow Michelle Dockery (she plays the main character of the show) on Instagram and she posted a lot about the show, when I learned that the show has been renewed, I decided to give it a shot and I don’t regret it.

 If you didn’t watch Good Behavior or never heard about here a little presentation.

Good Behavior begins when Letty Raines (Michelle Dockery), a thief and con artist, freshly released from prison, goes to bad decision to another (but in truth she just wants to regain the custody of her ten years old son, Jacob), overheard a conversation between a hit man, Javier (Juan Diego Botto), and a man who wants to have his wife killed. Letty decided to stop the murder by seducing the very (very very very) charming killer. But playing this dangerous game won’t be without consequences for Letty and Javier.

 Okay now I will say what everyone is thinking: It’s not a very original story. It’s true and the show is full of clichés (I will talk that about all along the review) but it doesn’t prevent the show to be good. I became a fan in less than two episodes.

 In my opinion, a show is good if the characters are good, and in Good Behavior the characters are pretty good.

 Let’s begin with the main character of the show, Letty Raines. I knew Michelle Dockery was good but I never watch any of her film or show, and I should say that she is perfect in the role and form a perfect duo with Juan Diego Botto (Javier, the hitman), who is also amazing in his role (see next paragraph).

Letty is an unstable girl, unable to take a good decision, who can’t stop drinking, stealing and use drugs when she doesn’t know how to face a problem. But she really really wants to regain the custody of her son (Nyles Steele) who is raised by her mother (Lusia Strus). Problem, her mother put a restraining order on Letty. Even if she doesn’t really know how to be a mother for her son, she wants to be good enough for him and he is the thing she fights for.

When she met Javier she seduces him, she did that to be able to save a woman’s life but she takes pleasure doing it, and even when she will be obliged to work with Javier, you can see that she has some fun. But the fun stops quickly when you “works” for/with a hitman.

 Javier is a very charming (and sexy, yes I say it one more time) hitman. He kills people for a living and there is no debate here killing is worse than stealing but I’m obliged to say that the character of Javier is particularly good. He is a professional killer but weirdly he is the one who keeps Letty on tracks (or at least he tries to), he seems to be the good one between the two. Of course his backstory is totally cliché (he is partially responsible of his little brother’s death, his father was an horrible guy who stopped talking to him many years ago (he came back in episode 7 The Ballad of Little Santino, of course), but the fact that he is “the good one” in the Letty/ Javier relationship is the best thing of the show. She is a thief, a liar and an addict, but she knows it. She knows that it’s bad but she just can’t stop (she doesn’t want to stop). Javier is a killer but he keeps telling Letty that what she does is wrong. Stealing is wrong, Lying is wrong, drugs and alcohol are wrong and he is right, but what he does is worst, much more horrible and when Letty reminds that to him, he has always a good reason (“If I don’t do it, someone else will do it!”).

 Now we have Estelle, Letty’s mother. First time we see her, we think that she is an horrible person. She is the guardian of Letty’s son and she put a restraining order on Letty because she thinks that Letty can’t be a good mother (Can we really blame her?), she is in a relationship with one of her daughter’s high school friend (Rob plays by Joey Kern). But episode after episode, you understand her better. Despite the fact that she concatenates marriages (not always with good guys), she did her best to raise her daughter and she saw her destroyed herself with drugs and horrible boyfriend. She wants to protect her grandson, she loves him (and Letty too) deeply, and when she accepts to let Letty seeing her son in exchange of money, we understand that she lets a chance to her daughter to do things right. She doesn’t know the real job of Javier but when she met him, she knows that he is good for Letty and he will try to help her make the right decisions. And that led to two very cool scenes between mother and daughter (first in episode 8, It still fits bitch and the second one in the season finale All the things).

 Now let’s talk about the supporting characters.

You have Letty’s son, Jacob. He knows the past of his mother. I have to tell you the truth, he is ten, he is cute but he pissed me off sometimes, especially at the end of the season when we learn that ,without telling anyone, he began searching for his father (the man who introduced Letty to drugs and made her an addict, and who is an ex director of anal centric porn, because why not) and contacted him, which lead of course to the come-back of the horrible father Sean (Todd Williams) who will of course asks for the custody of Jacob, which of course lead to Letty asking to Javier to kill Sean (cliché again!!), which lead to an horrible episode nine For you I’d Go with Strawberry (it’s only horrible if you are an hardcore shipper of Javier and Letty, the episode is not bad and have few good scenes). This little boy clearly doesn’t understand that his father ruined his mother life (he is not responsible for her stealing thing, but still …)

You got that, we have Sean (and I don’t like him). There is not so much to say about him. He says that he is a changed man and wants his son back (exclusively of course) which leads to a (very cliché) scene in episode nine between him and Javier, when Javier tells him that he knows Jacob better than him and he is a soooo much better father for the kid (Javier met Letty’s son since about two weeks at this moment).

Left Letty’s plural officer Christian (Terry Kinney). He knows that Letty keep stealing and breaking the law but he covers her because they are kind of friends. He is not really important for the story, here or not he doesn’t change a thing for me.

You also have Rob (Joey Kern) the very young step father of Letty who is a little dumb but really nice and willing to do anything to protect his family.

And last one, Letty’s childhood best friend Tiffany (Collette Wolfe) (and yes she is blond, because in TV shows a Tiffany is always a blond), like Christian here or not the show is still the same, but I like her, she is nice to Letty and always helping her despite all the problems with her husband (he has an affair with a man, not easy to accept when you have two children together).

 What I Liked about Good Behavior, is the fact that despite clichés (the best ones are episode two, Only the Best for Mrs. Diaz, when Letty and Javier plays a married couple, because it’s a classic when you have two characters with a lot of sexual tension, you have to do them plays a fake couple at one point. Episode three, From Terrible Me, which takes place entirely in a Tesla which allow us to better understand the main characters and episode seven The Ballad of Little Santino, a huge family dinner with all Javier’s family including his psycho dad), it remains a very pleasant and sexy show with great music (in bonus).

The main duo works really great together. Their relationship is the core of the show, it’s sexy complicated and they can be real pain in the ass, all we want in this kind of serie.

The supporting characters aren’t always great and interesting but they serve the story well.

  In conclusion, I can’t wait for season 2 (begins October 15th on TNT), hoping that Javier and Letty’s “Bonny and Clyde but still family friendly” life they choose at the end of season 1 let them remain annoying but still incredibly sexy.

[leehaws]

All Elite Wrestling has the WWE Shook

Last week, All Elite Wrestling held a big news conference to confirm most of what we suspected. The new promotion headed by Cody Rhodes and The Young Bucks has cash, good wrestlers, and attitude, placing it in a good position to chip away at WWE’s dominance. AEW is real and it’s spectacular.

David Bixenspan wrote up a quality post-mortem of the press conference last Thursday over at Deadspin. It’s worth a read, but the final takeaway is that this is as close to a modern, wrestler-led approach to the business end of pro wrestling as we’ve ever seen. The contracts are tailored to each wrestler and merchandise rights are far more generous, with wrestlers being able to operate their own merch shops—a far cry from WWE’s draconian control of wrestlers’ image and exclusivity clauses.

All of that is good, but where AEW represents a real change is in how injuries are handled. As Bixenspan notes, the rumored health insurance wasn’t confirmed, but AEW will be covering costs for any injuries incurred at their events. That’s a massive change from how most promotions—WWE generally takes care of in-ring injuries, as well—deal with injury issues and puts pressure on them to change up how pro wrestlers are taken care of.

Health insurance must be an integral part of any worker-centered promotion, however: the men and women of AEW are employees and they deserve the benefits which come with that status. Pro wrestling has historically been a perverse foreshadowing of our current age of precarity. We’re all independent contractors now, working by the gig and paying for travel expenses. And besides, AEW has the money.

We know this by, of course, looking at the Khans, Shahid and Tony, who are the co-owners. They’re wildly wealthy, worth twice or more what Vince McMahon is. This is their third sporting venture, after Fulham FC and the Jacksonville Jaguars; their portfolio is the definition of the billionaire sports adventurer. But we also know just by looking at what information we have about the contracts.

In an interview with Chris Van Vliet, Chris Jericho let slip that his AEW money is “the biggest offer of my career by far.” Jericho has long been one of the big names in pro wrestling and worked under big contracts with WCW, WWE, and NJPW prior to this new stint in AEW.

The speculation over the past few months has been that the contracts may be very lucrative. While we don’t have specifics, Jericho’s interview indicates they are and that, at least at the top end, they outstrip WWE’s offerings by a wide margin. For him to be offered a contract which dwarfs an upper-card WWE contract, with the implication that the offer may have been bigger than WWE’s contracts without much negotiation, means WWE is in trouble at the one place they’re strongest since WCW folding: the size of their contracts.

This is going to have all sorts of knock-on effects. There are WWE wrestlers who are very frustrated with their lot in WWE. Little is ever said directly—nobody wants to be blacklisted by a monopoly—but murmurs always come up via snide comments on Instagram or eye-rolling in interviews. We know that Zack Ryder is hardly happy and that Rusev probaby isn’t. Andrade Almas is ready for something new. Beyond that, take your pick of who has solid grounds for being frustrated. Are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn really content to be a duo comedy act working the same frenemies angle for the next decade? Is Kairi Sane going to risk being buried on the main roster after another two years in NXT?

This is the trap WWE has created. By buying up so many top pro wrestlers from around the world in an attempt to lock them down, WWE has assembled the most talented top to bottom roster in pro wrestling history, but by necessity can’t make them all happy. Instead, what’s happened is that every single wrestler in WWE gets more mainstream exposure than they otherwise might, making them stars in waiting for a promotion like AEW.

WWE is shook. While the AEW rumors were still coalescing, it turns out that WWE offered The Young Bucks one of the strangest contracts in its history. Knowing that the Khans weren’t going to launch AEW without the Bucks, WWE offered the brothers a contract worth AJ Styles money to each, with a clause that they could leave without consequence during the first six months if they were unhappy.

That sort of contract offer isn’t a mark of confidence, but a sign that WWE was willing to change every bit of how they do business in this one instance to squash AEW before it started. The Young Bucks are very good, and perhaps creative geniuses for an ironic age, but the WWE contract had nothing to do with either attribute.

None of this means that AEW is destined to succeed. Pro wrestling is littered with the pet projects of rich, vain men. Tony Khan seems to be taking the day-to-day reins from the business end and he’s a pro wrestling superfan. But Ted Turner was a pro wrestling superfan, too, albeit one who was less knowledgeable about its inner workings than Khan seems to be. WCW didn’t survive, despite all the in-ring talent money could buy. It may be that the historical lesson is that pro wrestling only has the barest chance to work at a large scale with a meddling money mark, in which case that mark needs to be very, very good at what they do. We don’t know that Khan is, only that Turner wasn’t and McMahon used to be.

AEW also still needs television, which they don’t have. In a sign that the universe is a vicious appreciation for irony, TNT and TBS are the two networks coming up the most in rumors, 20 years after the Turner networks swore that pro wrestling was never going to be on their corner of cable after WCW died.

If they get that deal, AEW is cemented as a big deal. As it is, something has already broken in pro wrestling’s treatment of its workers. They’ve always borne the costs for everything their profession needs: clothing, travel, healthcare, and the hard work of continuous creative self-invention. They take all the risks. We have confirmation that they’re getting ready to see a lot more of the rewards.

All Elite Wrestling has the WWE Shook syndicated from https://justinbetreviews.wordpress.com/

[flauntpage]

All Elite Wrestling has the WWE Shook

Last week, All Elite Wrestling held a big news conference to confirm most of what we suspected. The new promotion headed by Cody Rhodes and The Young Bucks has cash, good wrestlers, and attitude, placing it in a good position to chip away at WWE’s dominance. AEW is real and it’s spectacular.

David Bixenspan wrote up a quality post-mortem of the press conference last Thursday over at Deadspin. It’s worth a read, but the final takeaway is that this is as close to a modern, wrestler-led approach to the business end of pro wrestling as we’ve ever seen. The contracts are tailored to each wrestler and merchandise rights are far more generous, with wrestlers being able to operate their own merch shops—a far cry from WWE’s draconian control of wrestlers’ image and exclusivity clauses.

All of that is good, but where AEW represents a real change is in how injuries are handled. As Bixenspan notes, the rumored health insurance wasn’t confirmed, but AEW will be covering costs for any injuries incurred at their events. That’s a massive change from how most promotions—WWE generally takes care of in-ring injuries, as well—deal with injury issues and puts pressure on them to change up how pro wrestlers are taken care of.

Health insurance must be an integral part of any worker-centered promotion, however: the men and women of AEW are employees and they deserve the benefits which come with that status. Pro wrestling has historically been a perverse foreshadowing of our current age of precarity. We’re all independent contractors now, working by the gig and paying for travel expenses. And besides, AEW has the money.

We know this by, of course, looking at the Khans, Shahid and Tony, who are the co-owners. They’re wildly wealthy, worth twice or more what Vince McMahon is. This is their third sporting venture, after Fulham FC and the Jacksonville Jaguars; their portfolio is the definition of the billionaire sports adventurer. But we also know just by looking at what information we have about the contracts.

In an interview with Chris Van Vliet, Chris Jericho let slip that his AEW money is “the biggest offer of my career by far.” Jericho has long been one of the big names in pro wrestling and worked under big contracts with WCW, WWE, and NJPW prior to this new stint in AEW.

The speculation over the past few months has been that the contracts may be very lucrative. While we don’t have specifics, Jericho’s interview indicates they are and that, at least at the top end, they outstrip WWE’s offerings by a wide margin. For him to be offered a contract which dwarfs an upper-card WWE contract, with the implication that the offer may have been bigger than WWE’s contracts without much negotiation, means WWE is in trouble at the one place they’re strongest since WCW folding: the size of their contracts.

This is going to have all sorts of knock-on effects. There are WWE wrestlers who are very frustrated with their lot in WWE. Little is ever said directly—nobody wants to be blacklisted by a monopoly—but murmurs always come up via snide comments on Instagram or eye-rolling in interviews. We know that Zack Ryder is hardly happy and that Rusev probaby isn’t. Andrade Almas is ready for something new. Beyond that, take your pick of who has solid grounds for being frustrated. Are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn really content to be a duo comedy act working the same frenemies angle for the next decade? Is Kairi Sane going to risk being buried on the main roster after another two years in NXT?

This is the trap WWE has created. By buying up so many top pro wrestlers from around the world in an attempt to lock them down, WWE has assembled the most talented top to bottom roster in pro wrestling history, but by necessity can’t make them all happy. Instead, what’s happened is that every single wrestler in WWE gets more mainstream exposure than they otherwise might, making them stars in waiting for a promotion like AEW.

WWE is shook. While the AEW rumors were still coalescing, it turns out that WWE offered The Young Bucks one of the strangest contracts in its history. Knowing that the Khans weren’t going to launch AEW without the Bucks, WWE offered the brothers a contract worth AJ Styles money to each, with a clause that they could leave without consequence during the first six months if they were unhappy.

That sort of contract offer isn’t a mark of confidence, but a sign that WWE was willing to change every bit of how they do business in this one instance to squash AEW before it started. The Young Bucks are very good, and perhaps creative geniuses for an ironic age, but the WWE contract had nothing to do with either attribute.

None of this means that AEW is destined to succeed. Pro wrestling is littered with the pet projects of rich, vain men. Tony Khan seems to be taking the day-to-day reins from the business end and he’s a pro wrestling superfan. But Ted Turner was a pro wrestling superfan, too, albeit one who was less knowledgeable about its inner workings than Khan seems to be. WCW didn’t survive, despite all the in-ring talent money could buy. It may be that the historical lesson is that pro wrestling only has the barest chance to work at a large scale with a meddling money mark, in which case that mark needs to be very, very good at what they do. We don’t know that Khan is, only that Turner wasn’t and McMahon used to be.

AEW also still needs television, which they don’t have. In a sign that the universe is a vicious appreciation for irony, TNT and TBS are the two networks coming up the most in rumors, 20 years after the Turner networks swore that pro wrestling was never going to be on their corner of cable after WCW died.

If they get that deal, AEW is cemented as a big deal. As it is, something has already broken in pro wrestling’s treatment of its workers. They’ve always borne the costs for everything their profession needs: clothing, travel, healthcare, and the hard work of continuous creative self-invention. They take all the risks. We have confirmation that they’re getting ready to see a lot more of the rewards.

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