#my old ass pc stopped working (again)

[mellohiizz]

Good morning mel

BRO 😭 of course he'd say that...

[imaginealpha]

Tech product guides trying to troubleshoot your issues: lol have you tried turning it off and turning it on again 🧐 I'm not going to read any of the things you said you did, if it doesn't work then get fucked. Go to settings and click this option that you said isn't even there anymore

Reddit: here's some actual helpful suggestions on where to find settings that can fix your problem. We're more reliable than google search. Except for when we just tell you to buy new hardware instead of trying to fix your problem

Some obscure tech blog article from 7 years ago: i *google ad* gotchu *google ad* *google ad* *troubleshooter you never knew existed* *google ad* *solution to your problem*

[brotherly-love12]

How about this: A big brother who's trans, who worked hard to be your big brother. But he smokes weed and plays video games and has such a big soft lap for you to sit on while he plays <3 and when he gets frustrated at the game you tease a little too much and suddenly he decides you're an excellent outlet for all that frustration :)

OMGOMGOMGOMG YES ANON YOU ARE A GENIUS. I love this trope so mouth I actually need it desperately

Buckle up 😈

CW: fauxcest, intox, T4T, dubious consent

Big brother has been on T for 6 years, that’s 5 years longer than you. He really looks so manly, especially compared to little old you who’s only been on T for a year.

Even though big brother is so handsome he doesn’t have a girlfriend. All he does is sit at home and play video games while he’s high. You try to get him to let you play with him but it always ends up the same, whether you like it or not.

He drags you up onto his lap and makes you straddle him. You always just keep quiet at first and tuck your face in his neck. Sometimes he will be nice enough to shotgun some cannabis smoke down your throat while he’s playing.

None of this would really be an issue, you love being good for your big brother and giving support. The issue starts when he’s lost for the 2nd time in a row or his teammates don’t revive him. He tends to growl and slam things around. You’re just such a mouthy little thing, you can’t help but tease him even though you know what the consequences will be.

He always ends up gripping your jaw hard, forcing you to look at him. “Get underneath my god damn desk and suck me off. Fucking do it or get the hell out of my room.” You don’t want to get out so of course you just meekly nod your head and get under his desk.

He slides his boxers off and you can see his immaculate T dick peaking out behind his lips. This is so wrong…you don’t want to do this but if you don’t he’ll get mad and all you want is to make big brother happy. So you’ll suck and lick at his dick while he plays. Sometimes he’ll win a game or two so he’ll bring you up and kiss you real slow and nicely, shotgunning more smoke into your lungs.

But when he losses more…it’s bad. He’ll angrily turn off his PC and slam his headphones down. All his frustration is immediately on you. Big brother grabs you by the hair and pulls you off his dick. “Obviously you didn’t do a good enough job, I fucking lost again. Get your ass on you bed.” He shoves your head back and you scramble to get to the bed.

You know what happens when you’re not quick enough, when you don’t get out his strap and dick hastily enough for him. So you lay everything out very quickly as he walks over to you. He knows he has you under his control, you stood no chance. As he straps himself up you cower in fear, he’s in a bad mood today. 

As big brother pulls down your boxers he’s shoving your face down into the mattress. “You have such a slutty little cunt, baby bro. It’s like you like when I’m mean to you. Do you like when big brother makes you be a slut for him?” A slap to your ass sounds out as you whimper from the pain.

He wastes no time as he inserts his strap into your cunt. When he’s in these moods he doesn’t care to prep you or even stop and let you adjust to his size. All he does is fuck into you brutally, and you’ll just whimper and moan beneath him. There’s no point in fighting back, he always gets his way.



[hyperfixationstation128]

A Question For My Fellow Dragon Age Enjoyers

So it's pretty much no secret that I've been in love with the Dragon Age series for a very long time, having played the Origins when I was 9 years old. Of course, as an avid lover of all things medieval fantasy adjacent or related, I fawned over the games and their stories. I love the lore and history of the world and after having completed the games, I can only say that I'm satisfied with how things ended. I love how the game sets up the potential return of Rook (either as a PC or not, I'd love to see them again.

But that brings me to my question. Well, I suppose it's more of an announcement. Since 2012, I have been working on a fancomic for the games. With the completion of Veilguard finally on my roster, it's my firm belief that I'm ready to announce the fancomic I've been working on for the past 13 years: Through the Eluvian.

Through the Eluvian is definitely a self-indulgent piece of fan work, but it's one I've worked on for years and am very proud of. Depicting the adventures of a girl from our world who is gifted an ornate mirror with strange carvings in its frame after the passing of the elderly woman she was a volunteer caretaker for. Being an avid rabid fan of the games and having studied it's lore to the point of being able to translate some Elven, she accidentally activates the mirror and is pulled into the world of Thedas several months before the beginning of Origins.

Finding herself not only in need of guidance and protection, she wields her encyclopedic knowledge of the games to guide each of its main heroes! Directing them down the path with the greatest outcome. Now, this might make her seem like a Mary Sue, but I assure you, she's not. Girly goes through it and has to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, no matter how hard you try to stop things from happening, they will happen anyway.

Now, I don't want to give too much away about the story, so now I'll ask the aforementioned question: Would anyone be interested in reading a story like this? I think I'd still post it even if the answer is "no", but I want the opinions of my fellow fans and artists.

I'm gonna follow up this post with some pictures of the main character, Caleo Lazaar, once I'm off from work. In the meantime, let me know your thoughts! Any questions you might have are welcomed and appreciated!

See y'all on the flip side!

[undivineshepard]

I’m gonna try and keep this from getting too sappy but I just received one of the sweetest gifts ever from two of my best friends and it has to do with something I started writing two years ago that’s I’m still really proud of to this day.

TLDR; my lovely friend and often times editor @aiambia gifted me a hand bound copy of my fanfiction series Baby, It’s the Golden Age in collab with my childhood best friend @wolvesandvisions , and my heart is so full.

In 2022, I started writing a short KDA AU fic nsfw fic series based in the 1930s. Around that time my life was kinda meh, I was unemployed and my core friend group was scattered around the country. I wasn’t going outside, barely responding to text messages, and only really sustaining myself wasting my savings having bs delivered to my door. But I was doing what I always did when I felt awful and I was gaming and reading fic and looking at fanart. I didn’t feel like writing anymore or drawing or doing much of anything. That’s about when I started getting back into League of Legends real heavy, specifically K/DA. I always liked K/DA from way back when “Popstars” dropped when I was in college (ask my old roommate I probably tortured her with how much I played that song on our shared TV), but for some reason 2021 to 2022 I really fell into them hard.

I came up with the idea driving back from a friend’s house who lived 4 hours up the interstate from me. It was a fun weekend, but the drive back I was just dreading another week of being alone in my room in my head. I don’t know how the connection got made exactly maybe it was my Spotify playlists eclectic nature bouncing from a KDA song to Billie Holiday but the connection was made. I got so anxious I would forget the whole thing I pulled over into the first gas station I saw just outside of this little ass town and say in the parking lot and jotted every little plot point I could think of into the notes app on my phone. I still have the original note on my phone and looking back it’s a little crazed but it made sense to me at the end of the day. Then after I felt I had something I could work with, I switched to a Jazz playlist on Spotify and busted down the rest the interstate all the home no stops so I could get to my PC and get to writing.

It was not as easy to write as I wanted it to be, I’d written fic all my life essentially. I used to write Naruto fanfic on my shitty little flip up phone in middle school, I didn’t expect to struggle with words. Especially words I was so excited to write, but it was hard and I had to reach out for help (which I hate doing) to a friend of mine from college aiambia. Mandy became a saving grace to this fic, she pushed me out of my head out of my comfort zone got me on call to talks things out and on some days was the only other living person I would have conversations with. We were friends before, but having her as a writing partner made us closer friends in a way that has lasted and made me want to be a better friend to her and a better creative in all avenues.

My life is a lot better now, and this morning I received a very lovely hand bound gift Mandy made for me of the first two entries into my KDA 1930s AU fic series. Mandy and my childhood best friend worked really hard in secret to do this me for and it’s a beautiful gift that I am touched by and inspired by (once again she has inspired me like she always does). Receiving this gift has made me reflect on how grateful I am for the friendships I have as well as made realize…..I need that last entry in the series…😅.

[himejoshikomaeda]

LES FOISFOIS FAVORITE SONG FROM EACH TOUHOU SOUNDTRACK

th01 highly responsive to prayers: gotta be eternal shrine maiden. angel’s legend is good, but eternal shrine maiden just has what the PC-98’s soundboard did best. little beeps and boops that somehow sound so chock-full of emotion. fantastic stuff.

th02 story of eastern wonderland: love-colored magic is, of course, legendary, but my favorite for this game is complete darkness. absolutely masterfully work with that melody.

th03 phantasmagoria of dim.dream: obligatory respects to strawberry crisis to make sure i don’t get mauled for saying this, but reincarnation is my personal favorite off this soundtrack. there isn’t really a place to note this, but the SC-8850 version of reincarnation is fucking phenomenal, too.

th04 lotus land story: blah blah blah bad apple okay no but seriously it’s maiden’s capriccio. that’s reimu’s theme. i don’t care about this mystic oriental love consultation shit, this spring path crap. maiden’s capriccio. the imperishable night version fucks hard too.

th05 mystic square: this one is really hard. romantic children rules. plastic mind is unreal. the grimoire of alice fucks. but the best one in my opinion is alice in wonderland. extra stage themes tend to be really good, but i looooooove this one.

th06 embodiment of scarlet devil: locked girl ~ the girl’s sealed room. again being a contrarian here and not picking UN owen was her. cuz. i dunno. i like it.. be nice to me.. side note, but i love how the instruments in eosd and dolls in pseudo paradise sound.. idk, out of tune? it’s nice.

th07 perfect cherry blossom: there are a lot of really good ones here but i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t necrofantasia, contrarian though i may usually be.

th08 imperishable night: i don’t knowwww this one’s too hard they’re all so good.. illusionary night ~ ghostly eyes, nostalgic blood of the east ~ old world, flight of the bamboo cutter ~ lunatic princess, and extend ash ~ person of hourai all come to mind, but honestly i think i have to give it to love-colored master spark. i know it’s not “from” this game but it’s my favorite on the soundtrack, sooooo.. whatever. my list.

th09 phantasmagoria of flower view: wind god girl. “that’s from shoot the bullet” i knowwww shut upppp i’m not doing side games.

th10 mountain of faith: faith is for the transient people, full stop. the gensokyo the gods loved is practically the “touhou theme” to me, but sanae’s theme is like. in my top 3 favorite songs in the series. those guitars kick ass. this game’s soundtrack is phenomenal.

th11 subterranean animism: green-eyed jealousy. followed closely by satori maiden ~ 3rd eye. literally every song on this game’s soundtrack is a banger. a real no-skip album. but i am fucking addicted to parsee’s theme. it’s like bitter, ugly crying as music. i can’t sing its praises enough.

th12 undefined fantastic object: this game sucks ass but the music’s good. emotional skyscraper ~ cosmic mind is the best song.

th13 ten desires: it’s shoutoku legend ~ true administrator, but i wanna give a shout-out to night sakura of dead spirits anyway, because it’s great.

th14 double dealing character: kobito of the shining needle ~ little princess. but i mean. i am kissing reverse ideology on the mouth with tongue. i love you seija i love you shimmy you’ll get ‘em next time

th15 legacy of lunatic kingdom: honestly? unforgettable, the nostalgic greenery. i love the spacey sound of this soundtrack, and none of them capture that sound better than that. the lake reflects the cleansed moonlight is good for the same reason. i have a lot of love for the sea that reflects one’s home planet, too.

th16 hidden star in four seasons: not huge on this soundtrack, but my favorite song is swim in a cherry blossom-colored sea.

th17 wily beast and weakest creature: electric heritage. what a tasty piano in this one. the gorgeous melody is also present in entrust this world to idols ~ idolatrize world, but i like the piano in electric heritage better. idolatrize world is an easy second, though.

th18 unconnected marketeers: this soundtrack is so romantic. very lovely melodies. my favorite is the perpetual snow of komakusa blossoms. it’s memorable to me for whatever reason.

th19 unfinished dream of all living ghost: i’m gonna choose to limit myself to the songs that aren’t covers of existing touhou songs, cuz some of them are pretty similar even if i might like them “more”, like corpse voyage ~ be of good cheer. so i’ll go with the deviants’ unobstructed light ~ kingdom of nothingness. the vocal samples are cool.

i’ll list my favorite songs from the doujin albums in a separate reblog, because damn this is getting long!!

[owmylasagna-blog]

Hey Garfield Lasagna! I was looking at some old posts and I remembered you mentioning a "school teachers AU" at some point! But I can't remember if you ever expanded on it... were there any particular ideas you had in mind for the characters? If you don't mind my curiosity hehe, just thought I'd ask for fun 👀

Aw hey MB what’s up?? It’s been a minute, hasn’t it. Thanks for the ask and sorry it’s taken so long to reply to it. As you’ll see it took a while to respond because I wrote a lot. Lol.

For context, this extremely hypothetical school teacher AU was inspired by @doubledyke ‘s post about Edd being a school choir director and @mar-saturn ��s fabulous drawing. The AU exists as a few comments there and some deep part of my memory. But I’ll try to remember what I can and it will be fun to fill in the rest! https://www.tumblr.com/mar-saturn/730274033161125888/i-had-to-take-this-out-of-my-system-thanks

Generally the premise of the AU is to take the cast of Ed Edd n Eddy, age them up, and turn them all into employees at Peach Creek Jr. High. I’d only fleshed out the Eds and Kevin so everyone beyond that I’m spitballing.

Edd - Music teacher and choir director

In any AU I have to make Edd a grad school burnout, so let’s assume that. Our little Renaissance Man maintained an affinity for music even as his dreams of curing mosquito bites were dashed by his declining mental health. As a teacher he’s a real stickler and can be a pompous pain in the ass, so most of the kids don’t like him. Despite that he loves to teach and revels in breakthrough connections with the band geeks and aspiring Broadway singers who see his vision.

Eddy - PE, Health, Sub

@gettingfrilly had suggested a coach McGuirk type gym teacher and that’s. Yes. And also a smattering of Coach Fredricks from Freaks and Geeks and Jack Black in School of Rock (again, fans like @hermes-running have made these parallels). Also only a little inspired by his cute little coaching outfit in One Size Fits Ed. The kids genuinely like him because he lets them do whatever during PE. Eddy is both super down to earth and honest with the kids and they respect that. When he subs they know it’s movie time.

Kevin - PE, Football Coach

Kevin on the other hand is a bit more of a hardass with the kids and will blow the whistle to shake the lead out of their sneakers when running laps. He and Eddy have a bit of a rivalry and often butt heads. Their beef runs deep: in this AU I imagine both Kevin and Eddy grew up in PC and went to school together where they were friends until they weren’t. Kevin got popular and stopped hanging out with Eddy. Eddy became the class clown and pranked Kevin and his in-crowd friends every change he got. The cycle continues to comical effect.

Ed - Janitor

Originally I thought art teacher would be a good fit (as did gettingfrilly) but I changed my mind. Instead, Ed gets the janitor job through his sister Sarah who already works for the school. Ed is sort of a mythical creature in the school, and the kids make up lots of lore and rumors about him. Mysterious, whimsical, pretty rubbish at his job, but genuinely friendly and sweet when you do run into him. He makes sculptures in the woods behind the school from the trash he collects which gets him some attention from other teachers…

Nazz - Guidance counselor

Nazz always knew she wanted to help kids. She has multiple degrees and certifications in children's psychology, social work, and counseling. She’s way too qualified for her position at PC but wouldn't change it for the world because damn do these kids really need her! She is genuinely liked by pretty much all the staff and kids, the cool and hip guidance counselor with great style and a laid back, approachable attitude. But don’t be fooled - she is also a fierce advocate for better teacher wages which can make her a thorn in the administration’s side. You can find her every Thursday night at the local watering hole organizing workers for labor unions.

Rolf - Science teacher

Before immigrating to the US, Rolf was a renowned surgeon in his home country. But as soon as he set foot into the Land of Opportunity all his credentials went out the window and that, along with his remedial English, left him with few options. For a few years he works as a butcher - it's what he did on his family farm growing up, afterall, and he knew his way around cutting flesh. But then an opportunity to teach science at PC gave him more time to care for his aging great Nano so he takes it. Despite improving his English, the students have no clue what he is saying because of his thick accent and foreign analogies. For the Rolf the job is just… fine. The football coach hits it off with him as does the nice blonde regardless of their cultural differences which makes it a bit more tolerable.

Jonny - Wood shop

Need I say more? Just imagine your classic stoner type, Bob Ross energy guy. His favorite song to play at the start of every year is “Everything That’s Made of Wood Once Was a Tree”. Plank is his teaching assistant and will come and give the most scathing critiques of the students’ birdhouses. Not Jonny. Plank. “What’s that, Plank? Not even a rabid ferret would crawl up and die in there… Gee, buddy. Go easy on poor Nelson, would ya?”

Jimmy - Art teacher

Freshly graduated with a shiny MFA in hand, the Chelsea galleries weren’t clamoring to represent Jimmy. This job is just a way for him to start paying off the debt until he makes it big, and he means BIG - he’s the next Warhol as far as he’s concerned. The rest of the art world just needs to catch up. His daring art projects and student shows scandalize the school admin and the parents. They don’t know that good art is evocative. One lunch on his smoke break he stumbles upon the most evocative artwork he’s ever seen in the woods behind the football field. And he just must - MUST - find the artist behind them.

Sarah - Assistant principal

Sarah is the right-hand-man to Principal Antonucci, keeping the chaos of PC in check. Without her, the whole school would have fallen apart at this stage. Young and ambitious Sarah isn’t afraid to run a tight ship to improve the reputation of the school. She quickly latches onto the new art teacher who also loves a good gossip session at lunch time - and boy does Sarah have plenty of opinions, and Jimmy is the best fly on the wall she could ask for. The worst trouble isn't even the students - it’s the drama between the PE teachers.

The Kankers

Lee and May Kanker are both single moms whose kids go to the school. Lee has a monopoly on the PC real estate and May is training to be a dental hygienist. Marie is the local mechanic who is often called in to repair the boiler at the school when a pipe inevitably bursts every January, and will also pick up her little nieces when either of her sisters are working overtime or studying for a big exam. The anklebiters love it when she rolls up in her hotrod, top down. And so does a certain guidance counselor.

That covers everyone!

In this AU the Eds aren’t childhood friends, but become friends from working at the school. The general sort of plotline I imagined was that the school musical sort of brings these three loner staff members together. Edd is directing the production and realizes that Eddy is actually a gifted dancer (lol I’m so cringe - indulge with me) and quite musically inclined, and that Ed has a real talent for making stage props and backdrops. And while this is happening, Edd and Eddy probably strike up a secret little romance because, if you know me, you know I can’t help myself. And the rest is history!

Wow okay that was a long winded answer but it was really fun to come up with! Thanks again for asking (:

[joeyoungmybbgirl]

gross old pc stan with a daddy kink...

“That’s it, pretty. Sit on Daddy’s cock…” Stan groans, his hands flex on your hips as you lower yourself down on him.

“Fuck—Stan.” You moan, eyes rolling back in your head as you sheathe stans cock fully inside yourself.

“Aww, we’re still on that, sweetpea?” He pants softly, forcing himself to not buck up into you straight away.

You ignore him, your pussy fluttering around his cock as you try and will your legs to work. You balance yourself with your hands on Stan’s fuzzy chest, digging your nails into the pudgy skin as you raise yourself up.

“That’s it baby.” Stan breathes, his eyes zeroed in on the sight of your pussy split open on him. “Fuck yourself on my cock.” Stan’s cock twitches inside you, as you let yourself fall back down.

“Ahn—” You moan loudly, pussy squelching as it meets his hips.

“Come on, pretty. Do all the work.” Stan urges, rubbing circles into your hips with his thumbs. “Show daddy you know how to take cock.” He grunts.

Your thighs shake as you lift yourself up again. This time, you go up too far and Stan’s cock pops free.

He sighs softly and helps you by pointing his cock back at your hole. “That’s okay princess, we gotta get you more practice.” He encourages you by pulling you back down on his cock.

You let out a startled moan and fall forward onto his chest, “Please—” you whine, not used to being the one on top.

Stan coos teasingly, “Please what, sweetpea?” He helps you raise your hips again and pulls you back down, making you fuck yourself.

Your eyes roll back into your head and you let out a needy sob, burying your face into Stan’s chest. “I can’t do it daddy—i need you to fuck me.” You whine.

Stan groans and flips you over, shoving your face into the mattress as he pushes himself back into you. “This is what you need, isn’t it pretty?” He groans, fucking into your cunt roughly. “You need a daddy to take care of you—” He cuts himself off with a grunt as you tighten up around him. “—to do everything for you. Isn’t that right?”

You nod dumbly, not listening to a thing he’s saying. “Yeah—mhm. Need a daddy…” You babble, the feeling of his cock reshaping your insides is making you dumb. Maybe Stan was right.

Stan slaps your ass and soothes the sting by groping the flesh. “That’s right baby,” He groans. “I’ll be your daddy.” He reaches around your body to messily thumb over your clit, fucking his cock in deep.

You sob into the mattress and grab fistfulls of the sheets. Liquid heat is quick to pool in between your legs and before you can get a proper breath, you’re cumming on Stan’s cock. “Daddy!” You moan.

When you come-to minutes later, you’re laying on your side, with Stan holding you against his chest and rubbing your back gently. You shift to look up at him, but something thick oozing uncomfortably out of your pussy catches your attention, “Ugh—Stan!” You whine, having told him to stop cumming inside many times already.

Stan chuckles sheepishly, “I can’t help it when you squeeze me like that.” He says, trying to pull you back to his chest and keep you from getting up. “Your pussy wants it…”

He laughs when you hit his shoulder, but immediately starts complaining when you get up and leave for the bathroom.

[obsidiancreates]

Robin Hood: Man In Vents

@pineapple-psychic

"Gus." Shawn whispers as quietly as he can into the little mic pinned to his collar. "I see you flirting with the receptionist."

"Heh, one second." Gus's smirk slips right off as he turns and whispers back "You told me to say I'm security!"

"So no-one would question the mic and earpiece! Not to creep out some poor girl taking this jerk's calls all day!"

"I'm not creeping anybody out!"

"She's literally holding a tiny lipstick taser in her palm."

"Wh- where are you?!"

"The vents. ... Top of the wall to your right."

"Shawn, you're supposed to be in this guy's office already."

"I had to take a pit-stop, man, you were totally ignoring me!"

"Just get in there, if someone we know spots me we're toast."

"Dude, Lassie and Jules are totally busy with that other case with the dead bull or whatever."

"It was a dead matador, Shawn, and they're only busy because you put them on the wrong lead!"

"Yeah, so we're covered."

"Just get into that office!"

Shawn watches Gus turn back around with his 'Smooth Gus' smile and keep chatting with the receptionist- who's relaxing more as Gus talks to her, actually, and she realizes he's just Not As Smooth As He Thinks He Is rather than Trying To Be Creepy.

Shawn crawls through the vents, wondering not for the first time why Santa Barbara seems to make all their air vents big enough for over-30-year-old-men to crawl through with room to spare, and makes it to the office. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his little uses-actual-tape vintage tape recorder, stolen from his dad's house, and hits record.

"No, look, if we sell more than this it'll look suspicious. ... I know, I know, but our payout won't be worth shit if we get caught. Just- have you taken care of the severance situation? ... Well, cripes, Monty, if you don't find a way to avoid paying out severance after this we'll have done it all for nothing! ... That's it, I'm coming down to your office. No, I don't give a crap if your wife is there, kick her out or I'll beat her ass along with yours. ... You'll take this talk from me as long as you live, if you don't want to become my next scapegoat."

The phone slams back into it's receiver, and the CEO storms out of his office.

Shawn tests the vent grate- if he did it right when he pretended to be the building inspector a few days ago, it should just-

CRASH!

... Whoops.

Shawn slides out of the vent and lands in a heap on the floor, springing back up as quickly as possible and going for the computer! This office is relatively isolated, but someone will have heard that. Gus posing as security can maybe buy him twenty minutes, but after that he's risking everything.

Gus would kill him for saying so, but all that makes this even more fun.

He copies the password he saw being entered in the reflection of the window when he came in to sabotage the vent, pulls out the list of keywords Gus's jotted down for him, and starts combing through the files as quickly as possible. He plugs his pineapple-shaped hard drive into the PC unit and begins downloading everything relevant to the insider trading and company self-sabotage.

"Dude, hurry up, I just got told over the walkie that there was a loud sound in the CEO's office," Gus hisses through the earpiece.

"I'm hurrying!"

"Hurry harder, Shawn! Oh, uh, hello, fellow security team. Yeah, Im uh, going to check out the disturbance myself. no need for all of us, right?"

"You're in fire, dude."

"Yeah, well, I'm a uh, black belt in taekwondo, so I really don't need any backup. Might get messy."

"Black be- okay I know that's not true, but I also know you've been sneaking out of cases more often than usual. Gus, are you taking martial arts classes without me? How is our partnership supposed to work if you become a lethal weapon of flesh and blood and I don't?"

"I'm not taking any classes, I'm buying you time," Gus hisses again. "Quit distracting me!"

"Fine. ... But we should sign up for some classes together after this."

"I agree, but shhh!"

"Fine. ... Okay, okay, I got it!" Shanw unplugs everything, makes sure his gloves didn't rip or leave any fibers behind- and then looks up at the vent. "Oh. Oops."

"Oops?!"

"It's uh- it's a little high to reach."

"Oh my go- you didn't measure a way up to your only escape route?"

"I was a little focused on the entire rest of the whole plan!"

"Figure it out fast, we're almost at the elevator!"

"Ah- stall for time! Pretend to pee yourself!"

"No, stop using that as a go-to distraction!"

"Well do something!"

"Ah- HEY! Ahem, hey, guys, uh, you know, I read in Men's Digest last week that elevators have been linked to Kidney Stones."

Shawn looks around frantically for something he can use to get up to the vent that won't leave a suspicious trail- nothing. Unless...

"Dude, I'm taking a risk."

"Another one?!"

"Trust me!"

Shawn pulls the wheely chair over to the vent and stands on it. It's just enough for him to leverage himself into the space. He hops off and grabs the vent cover, puts it on top of the headrest, and turns. He puts his feet on the wall, walks them up to the vent opening, and slowly walks his hands up to the top of the chair to leverage himself into the exit.

As soon as his hands reach the top he hears the elevator ding down the hallway. He hears Gus's rambling coming closer, and knows it's now or never. He takes a deep breath, winces in preparation for the on coming pain, and pushes off of the chair! He just barely manages to grab onto the vent as the chair goes flying across the floor back into place!

His push gets him halfway into the vent, the wind knocked right out of him, but he has no time to recover. He squirms the rest of the way in, and managed to re-affix the loose vent cover right as the door to the office opens.

Gus glances up at the vents and they lock eyes. Shawn gives a thumbs-up, and begins scooting backwards out of the line of sight.

"I'm never helping you with one of these again," he hears Gus mumble over the earpiece.

They both know Gus is lying. They're partners in crime-solving and in crime, and they always will be. Especially when it's something like this.

Now to figure out if blackmail or exposure is the best use for what they've gathered...

[daemon-404]

when i was 13, i was kicked off of discord for being too young. my dearest friends were in there, and i didn't have any way to tell them; i didn't want them to think something bad had happened to me. so i made a new account.

i didn't want my parents to find out i was still using it. so i made a plan.

i- a 13 y/o, who didn't know jack about computers- followed my shortcut to the original file in the local appdata folder. i renamed the program to h0mb0g.exe, like humbug (beats me why, it sounded like the name of a chatroom program). i didn't want it to show up as "discord" in the weekly summary email microsoft sent to my parents.

that wasn't enough. i hid it. i hid it deep in a subdirectory in the local appdata folder. i hid it in the folder for vivaldi, the browser i somehow got that wasn't restricted by parental controls at the time. i created a new shortcut.

that wasn't enough. i wanted to make sure that if my parents found out, i would still have a backup. even if they restricted every browser and i couldn't download anything ever again, i wanted to have discord. so i downloaded it again.

let's have an interlude to talk about wondershare filmora. my beloathed. i had gotten it because it was free and had good reviews, but i didn't like the watermarks it left on my videos. so, i uninstalled it in the only way i knew how to at the time: i deleted as many files as i could find easily with its name on them. predictably, i started with the shortcut, which naturally only got it out of my line of sight, and i was frustrated upon finding the .exe and all its corresponding (at the time) incomprehensible files. i deleted those. then i found out about appdata and hidden files. i went through, looking for a place to put my new h0mb0g.exe, and was incredibly frustrated to see a folder there with wondershare's horrid name on it. i had had ENOUGH of this mid-ass, self-valorizing, stupid horrible useless program. so i got rid of the contents.

i hid the second discord in the now-empty wondershare folder in local data. this was still not enough. i dropped in another now-empty folder called shimeji-ee (anyone remember those?) and put it in there. with shimeji-ee full of discord and tucked safely away where no one would ever think to check, i proceeded to change the properties to "hidden."

everything was perfect.

4 years later, i'm freeing up space on my disk by looking for old files i could delete (it's the easiest way, don't @ me). vivaldi. i have no use for that anymore, this computer is mine now and the regular browsers are good for me. delete.

wondershare. i think to myself: i could never really get rid of it, could i? i think to myself: now that i know about computers, it's over, buster.

i can't delete it. something inside of it... is still open? weird. i can't figure it out, and i'm tired as fuck so i just call my dad (a programmer) over and ask him if it's possible to see what a program is open in. he tells me about this program called WhoLockMe, i get it, we spend about half an hour running command lines through powershell since my searchbar is bugging out so i can't search 'cmd' to get the regular command up and we can't find it through the alphabetical search. through this process, we fail to get wholockme open. then he tries to force the deletion of the wondershare file. it doesn't work. 'it's open', my pc insists, 'it's being used somewhere.'

we cannot figure it out. we really can't. i'm confused. i open the file. shimeji-ee???? i still have that???? what the fuck is that open in????? we try to forcefully delete that. it doesn't work. i ask my dad to give my computer back- in our search through installed programs i'd seen a few free demos that have run out and i think that'll work for cleaning up. ok, he goes back to reading his book. if nothing else, i can re-open shimeji-ee and see what's up with that. i open it.

discord is in there.

it all comes crashing back.

hysterics. i can't stop laughing. "it's not that funny," my dad says, "we have to think about how it got there! what if something was messed up?" (i'm paraphrasing). i can't tell him this whole thing, naturally, so i just say, 'oh no dad, i put it there, years ago.

i don't know why.'

that's not all, because here's the cherry on top-!

i restart my computer to reset the buggy search bar, and i go to tell my discord homies all about this, since we'll all get a kick out of it.

the shortcut isn't working. it says its target has been deleted or moved. it says, 'h0mb0g.exe cannot be found.'

it was THE OTHER ONE for 4 YEARS. my discord hotbar shortcut has been a remnant of my absolutely fucking insane 13 y/o self for 4 years. (i assume the reason "shimeji-ee" wasn't deleting was because it was running in the background or something as discord usually does).

i can not stop laughing.

[semi-imaginary-place]

ffxiv msq finishing 5.x, 6.0

they really should built an airship landing in revenant's toll

whoa the speech patterns are way different between japanese and english for the kobolds. like in jp they have a very distinctive cadence but no repeating of phrases.

there REALLY should have been an aetheryte in the hinterlands. the sharlayan colony isn't that old and they must have had an aetheryte. is the ones in churning mists and everywhere else are still there

wow all these cutscenes. well isn't squeenix rolling in shadowbringers money

ug is it me or are the dugneons getting harder. it's taking me several attempts to clear now. why does everything give me vuln stacks?

damn the sirens have a welfare system. pension, maternity leave.

having sahagin and kobold in the office that don't get a single line of dialogue is weird. also no way they wouldn't meet in neutral ground and would go to the heart of limsa.

wow g'raha is worse at this than i thought how are you so bad at acting.

the writers really did forget that limsa lomisa is a lalafellen name

this is a good culmination of arr's themes. a story about diversity set to the backdrop of beast tribe hatred was always one of the more interesting dangling plot threads. like yeah limsa signed a treaty than blatantly broke it to take more land. takes land i prommy we won't take more proceeds to take more.

fandaniel wants to destroy the world for fun. we cut his leash. truly the absurdist hero/villain. bruh doesn't have a reason he just does things. zenos doesn't really have a goal or morality either he just wants to fight the pc.

eng leaves it out but jp implies there's multiple lunar bahamuts

why did uriange go to garlemald. is he good at infiltration? it seems like the devs are just pushing Thancred's and Urianger's partnership

aaaahhh i dont want to do bozja. aaaaaaa i want bozja lore so bad!

i'd say this is a death flag for arenvald but the devs got cowardly and stopped killing off characters a while ago

ah fanboy g'raha is back

could we porxie tiamat?

a lot of the dragons have allegan control collars we gonna do anything about those.

we're already here why not investigate the tower. ew flesh dungeon

i once again like patch content more than expansion content

double tempered

with garlemald crumbling and tempering reversal things are looking up for the sylphs. the whole reason they summoned ramuh was garlean encroachment in the forest. which was a slightly different reason than a lot of the other tribes who were warring with the city states.

well hydaelyn has been weakening for a while that was in 2.x. did we ever figure out if the blessing of light was tempering. hydaelyn weakening was why ascilia got hiveminded to begin with which is why i was surprised when her soul stayed on the first reincarnating as the minfilias i thought she needed to be a part of hydaelyn for hydaelyn to continue. then again hw about when we heard from hydaelyn last maybe she did weaken significantly from minfilia leaving which begs the question why have minfilia merge to begin with if she leaves right after.

damn they got disowned. in public in front of a world leader and their friends. brutal.

once again reminded that i suck at healing. "roleplaying"

man i remember pre ew launch. i loved talking out of my ass and saying the moon was going to hatch again just like in 1.0.

the whole aetherisight costing y'shtola's lifespan plot point was totally forgotten

might just be better to kill the other tower captives to stop the summonings even if they are innocent.

6.0

why is estinien coming to sharlayan. not much he can help with in sharlayan better to have him dealing with or the rest of the mess or something like the towers or garleans.

all the scions are moving as one group. this is a stark contrast to arr through sb where they'd separately work on different projects. you can tell this is because of changing developer vision. The devs now want to develop a main cast so they're giving them screen time all together even when it doesn't make sense. Not all of them need to be here especially with multiple problems in the world.

wow look at that animation budget in the intro. there's the crystal mommy twitter was simping for. i thought hydaelyn had run out of juice this is the most physical she's been. giraffe neck!

estinien doesn't even have a visa he should not be here. bruh just say adventurer it's not like they have access to the adventurer register. we really shouldn't have brought him along.

wow sharlayan has all the important places open to the public like the forum. in eorzea you can't go anywhere like gridania's glade.

i know it's because male viera weren't released until 6.0 but it's so funny that the lion's share of the world's city viera bunny boys are hanging out on the frozen scholar island.

so many books outside yikes

really urianger isn't researching? why bring thancred, him and estinien all the way to sharlayan only to immediately send them to thravnir they could have departed from eorzea. this doesn't make sense between sending urianger away from his specialty to bringing estinien to sharlayan. the devs jsut wanted everyone together for dialogue because the characters are popular when it doesn't make any sense or match the scion's previous methods. like literally uranger, thancred, and especially estinien put in all the time and effort to travel to sharlayan only to immediately leave in the opposite direction. wol is so useless for the sharlayan side. should have swapped with urianger but the devs wanted the player to be able to explore. should have just used the roleplay system

noahs arc. that's the forum's plan. stockpile resources and what not to sustain an underground population.

look at all that voice acting budget.

zoology nerd erenville.

well isn't hydaelyn feeling chatty after 4 expansions.

aaand then my game crashed and i lost all my sidequest dialogue.

new writers forgot about coils and the twin books. idk how to feel about the twins not using the paired arcanist books since it fits so well with the summoner scholar class split which is unique in the game. there's the significance of their grandfather giving them the tomes too and that they are specifically 2 halves on a whole. but the narrative of each twin growing into their own separate person is nice too it just feels awkward given the significance place in arr. i think this is another case of new writers having differing visions than the old.

Moen mention, off to thravnir. Is what I'd say but the game crashed again and my free login is up

[nia-cin]

Backburner

I've been a slow learner these past few years when it comes to my friendships. It's been a trial and error for me as I went through moments of clarity at the lowest points of my life. A humbling experience, indeed.

Bridges: I've burned, abandoned, and left the foundation to rot. I've mended a few and just overall stopped showing up altogether. People can be so inconsiderate, insensitive, and irrational. In friendship groups this may be tolerated somehow, especially if you knew this person for a good decade. At this point, you either accept this version of them (at 24) or you decide these people are not the ones you wish to keep tabs with for the rest of your life.

I have become a backburner friend for a very long time. A trauma dump group chat. A trauma dump go-to and one call away friend. I'm the most accessible house. I'm an initiator. I make things and plans happen and I don't let social status, distance, or job titles get in the way when a hangout MUST happen. I'm a listening ear. I'm the one you call when you need to hear the words you need to hear. At some point, I've even become an accomplice when someone chose to become a cheater and chose my house as their secret meeting place.

In retrospect, maybe my 14 year old self put this on herself because of her own ideals and beliefs. I can't blame her. My morals, my beliefs, and my ideals were all to please an invisible authority.

However, at 23 and even at 24, the realization of who and what kind of friends you want to keep will dawn on you like a flu on a random Wednesday. I needed to find my tribe - my soul circle. One I can finally call my own. Given to me by the universe. Given to me by Him.

What came with that realization is this: Being a friend is a thankless job when you're in the wrong circle.

I would jump puddles, put forth my resources, and give it to you if you wanted it. I'd gift you a battlepass, supply you the load you need as you quarantine on a facility, hug you on the worst day at your new job, and listen to you for hours ranting about your toxic manipulative boyfriend whom you haven't left after all the bullshit he put you through. I will wait hours on a mall just because your cheating ex-boyfriend wanted to give you flowers and could only ask me to give it to you. I will unthinkably lend you my savings just so you could buy new glasses at work because your rich businessman boyfriend can't even think of helping you out. I will lend my house, my PC, and my internet connection so you can finally land the job you desperately needed in the last 3 years because I know how much it matters to you.

You will drink your heart out when your toxic boyfriend who threw your clothes on the roof last week just told you he didn't want you anymore (btw, what the fuck?). Then invite me over only to have me look after your muddy, drunk, and vomiting asses. Still, after everything, apologies were superficial and nothing changed: you're all still self-centered, self-gratifying, and sorry excuses for friends.

On my worst days, you will tell my ex-boyfriend who's distressed after provoking my depressive episodes that you're too tired to deal with me and you'd rather sleep because you need to be early tomorrow. You will tell friends behind my back after visiting my dead father's wake that I was the problem anyway - that my toxic, manipulative, sad boy, unemployed, and emotionally constipated ex-boyfriend was unlucky to have me. I will call you on my worst days and you will give me 10,000 excuses to not be there. I have stopped asking.

Maybe we outgrew each other a long time ago. I've stopped giving a fuck because I know you're all still the same anyway. And you probably will still remain the same - in your comfort circles, surrounded by variations of the toxic, manipulative, and superficial fools you call your friends/lover. That's your punishment - you are who you are.

In my mother's wake, never step foot on my family home ever again. You never deserved the space. So, please, have some decency and fuck off.

:)

[dawdlecentric]

So about that edit I said I was working on? well...*edits a different one*

I can't help it when the ideas pour out all of a sudden. I HAVE to take advantage of it before my motivation die out again. Tho tfw hyperfocused so much that *forgets to drink* *forgets to shower* *forgets to sleep*

Look, my shitty computer, shitty editing software and me are literally fighting for our lives trying to edit that video before my computer space fills up and everything crashes all over again. I'm so fed up with that editing software how much it acts up despite not being able to export stuff but it's SOOO unfair that it has some transitions that I like. I'd also blame my PC but it's really old and it not having enough space is kinda my fault for filling my all my files in there. Kinda wished I had an external drive :<

Also it took me many tries to upload that video cuz tumblr just refuses to. I'm already having connection issues and this site is such a pain in the ass. Thankfully it finally did, but that doesn't stop me from hating this garbage website

[shinxistudio]

Studio Thoughts 2024MAR01

I've been thinking a lot since first finding out about the MidJourney deal Tumblr is taking. I've been wanting to make this post for just as long. (This sounds ominous, but it's not.) (Cut for a giant wall of text. Massive rambling.)

I don't know what to do. I've made an infinite number of new accounts across all the different social media I can find. I had to make a sheet to keep track of all the different websites I've joined. The thought of trying to post and maintain 20 accounts minimum to cover myself depending on where people flee to is overwhelming. I'm already averse to updating the accounts I have now. It takes too damn long as it is. (I need to set up PostyBird for the love of god. It doesn't work on a lot of mainstream sites, though.)

I want to share my art, but I don't want that to mean that I'm giving up my rights to it so some fuck can shove it into his dataset to create images and act like they're superior to something made by a real human and the human experience. I've opted out of the 3rd-party sharing option that they gave us, but I know that doesn't mean anything without proof. If they were giving data over that they shouldn't have from private conversations and password-locked blogs, they're not going to give a shit if someone toggled a setting. The whole issue with these datasets is the lack of consent to begin with, so why would they stop Now. I don't even know why they plan to pay Tumblr for the data in the first place because how much of it has already been scraped before they decided to tie it up in a bow for them?

I hate that people just parrot "Nightshade and Glaze!!" as if they're not open-source software that the tech bros can reverse engineer with the available coding. (As well as being easy to remove/get around in the first place.) Not to mention the stupid amount of processing power to use them, if they even work on the type of art you're putting into it in the first place. Even if they worked for your art, they're not accessible to everyone. That's not fair to artists who don't have or can't afford the highest-end PC parts. And even if they Worked to prevent AI it would only be a matter of time before they Didn't, like the constant fight UBlock is having with blocking YouTube's new coding to prevent ad blockers.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of feeling that the modern internet hellscape is just not meant for artists because the algorithms expect you to post as much as possible in order to get seen. I'm tired of artists finding a place to settle only to feel the need to move again and again because they just want their work and themselves to be respected. I miss old DeviantART when it was still a giant hub and community for artists instead of the shell it is today. I still see a lot of people still posting when I check in every now and then.

I don't know what the answer is, because I know data scraping for generative models isn't going away. I can only hope that it cannibalizes itself into hot garbage by taking in generated images that weren't tagged as AI. I would love it if all the wild shit people post on here could make the dataset completely unusable.

At the moment it looks like the only thing I can do is continue to watermark my art heavily and post low-quality versions. I've never had a large enough following to worry about art theft, but I can't control an all-consuming bot scraping everything.

I've been toying with the idea of making my own website and it's seeming more and more appealing. I've seen that you can make your own Patreon-adjacent subscription setup and have a pay-to-access feature. I don't know if that could help prevent scraping or if there are methods to get around that, too. Can bots scrape Patreon itself?

I'll need to update my LinkTree with all the other hundreds of sites that I'm on I guess. I was hoping that this long-ass post would help me come to some sort of conclusion or peace. I think I just gave myself more work to do. I also feel bad that my only other text post here is so hopeful, only to be slapped down immediately in this one.

TLDR: I'm gonna keep posting but like, I'm Not Gonna Like It. MidJourney Sucks. Tech Bros Suck. Ya'll can eat my entire ass.

[laisai]

My mom got a refurbished laptop recently and I was the one who had to set it up

Upon opening, it became abundantly clear why the laptop was returned. It was fine, only the set up REQUIRED an internet connection and yet.... it did not detect the wifi card. Could not connect. Thus the laptop could not be set up at all

I had to go and do shit in the command line to let me have the OPTION to not have internet while setting up and like -- why the fuck do I need internet to set up the fucking laptop, unless you're trying to harvest data EVEN DURING SETUP.

Once that was done though, the computer detected the wireless card and all was good.

I figured 90% of people would've been stumped by that set up process alone and then maybe another 5% would've found the solution online but were too scared to try it.

I *hate* how tech has gotten to this point.

Me: oh yeah, if you think school photography is hard now, try imagining doing this with film.

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me:… with film? I haven’t had enough coffee for this conversation

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Acrylics | Headcanon

Requested? Nope

Warnings? None

CC's Included? Corpse Husband, Dream, Awesamdude, Wilbur Soot, Sapnap, BoomerNA, Punz, Quackity, Karl Jacobs

Word Count: 1,730

My first ever set of headcanons! Pls feel free to tell me if they suck or if you want more!! My requests are always open :)

Corpse

-you’ve had earrings for years now and didn’t think acrylics would mess you up

-you were definitely wrong

-you suddenly became notorious for dropping earring backs, losing them in the carpet, and fumbling around for minutes at a time

-corpse had noticed you had started to take longer and longer getting ready

-he knew you loved changing your earrings, matching them to your outfit, and making a whole outfit out of it

-and yet one morning you two were actually headed out to get breakfast together

-when you were taking a while he decides to check on you and see if you’re okay

-he walks into the room, watching you pout in frustration as you tried again to put in your earrings

-he can’t help the small smile on his lips that occurs, watching as you tried over and over to put the jewelry in your ear

-he walks over, placing his hands on your shoulders until they fall down over your hands

-“let me help”

-he takes the earrings out of your hands, nudging you to turn in his grip

-he brushes your hair back before focusing intently on putting the earring in

-he’s scared about hurting you but you’re too busy focusing on the butterflies in your stomach to even notice

-he fastens the earrings with ease and without a second thought he presses a kiss to your forehead before telling you to turn and look in the mirror and see if it’s okay

-you’re practically glowing and that alone make corpse smile

-from now on he puts your earrings in for you

Dream

-the minute you got your nails done you realized what a struggle opening cans was going to be

-you loved Redbull and soda and pretty much anything that came into a can so you were definitely struggling

-dream watches as you leverage the can tab with a knife and pop it open that way, an adoring smile on his lips

-he watches you do this for a while, finding the action absolutely adorable for whatever reason

-one day you head to the fridge and grab a can of Redbull and Dream takes it out of your hands instantly

-he pops it open without a word and hands it back, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he walks away

-you stand in the cold air of the fridge for minutes afterward, struck at how such a perfect boy could notice something so minute about you

-he always opens cans for you now

Sam

-having a difficult time typing never even occurred to you when you got your nails done

-you figured you’d either find a way around it or use text to speech if it got really difficult

-and it did get really difficult

-you had a 10-page essay due and the idea of ripping your extremely expensive nails off had crossed your mind more than once

-when you’re on your third page and can’t type one word without a mistake you let out a muted scream before dropping your head onto the desk

-Sam who had been sitting in the room the whole time offers a concerned look

-he makes his way over to you, rubbing your back slowly

-“what’s wrong baby?”

-“these stupid nails keep messing me up,” you whine leaning your head into his chest

-he picks your hand up, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before nudging you out of the seat

-“what are you writing about?” he asks as you plop down onto the floor

-“what?”

-“what are you writing about? I can type it,”

-you swore you were about to get down on one knee and propose to him

-“uhm it’s about the similarities and differences of an older text and a newer text and why it’s fundamental to use both”

-“alright. tell me what I need to write next”

-you spent the next few hours telling Sam your plans and thoughts about the paper while he typed, your heart slamming appreciatively in your chest

Wilbur

-you had done pretty well with your hair after getting your nails done

-brushing it out, pulling it up, even twirling it around your fingers caused no issue and all ease

-however, when you see a TikTok tutorial of a girl pulling her hair up with butterfly clips this is when the trouble starts

-you sat in front of your bedroom mirror, twisting your hair and attempting to clip it in place, and proceeding to drop the clip over and over and over

-the frustration is unreal, and at one point you almost start crying in annoyance

-Wilbur walks into the room clueless and stops in his tracks immediately

-he kneels on the ground behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders

-you lean back into his touch and let it calm you as you drop the clips from your hands

-”what’s wrong my love?” he whispers calmly while pressing kisses to your head

-”I can’t get my hair right,” an unintentional whine coming out of your lips

-Wilbur reaches down to where the clips lay on the ground and gather them up

-”what do you want me to do?”

-you’re practically crying for a whole other reason now

-”i’m just trying to twist my hair up and pin it back” you explain

-wilbur watches you pull the hair back before opening the clip and securing it into place

-he smoothes down the hair as if he’s done it a million times and presses kisses to your head

-he’s the first person you call now when you need help with your hair

Sapnap

-okay you’ve never been great at opening sauce packets before

-but now that you got your nails done it’s downright impossible

-the first time you tried you swore it took you 30 minutes to even get it a little bit open

-so when you and Sap go to Chick fil A and sit down to eat you’re already groaning in annoyance as you pull out the chick fil a sauce packet

-Sap watches with amused eyes and a slight smirk as you struggle even getting the plastic between your fingers

-he grabs it from your hands without a word, tearing it open before placing it back in front of you

-every single time you go to a fast food place now he does it subconsciously whether you have acrylics on or not

-your heart aches a little every time he does it, nothing but love for the sweet boy before you

Boomer

-alright so you’ve never been a huge gamer in life

-sure you played the occasional game when you were younger or when your older brother needed help beating a level but that was about it

-when you met Boomer you realized how little you knew about video games, specifically minecraft

-while you never played the game you listened to Boomer tell you all about it and explain

-however when he started playing Halo in his free time that’s when you became interested

-your dad used to play the game 24/7 when you were younger, beating it a multitude of times on the old PC in the computer room

-and when he saw your interest piqued, he knew he had to teach you how to play valorant

-similar shooting games, right?

-you sat on his lap, his hands on top of yours as you try to work around having the longest fingernails ever and learn a new game

-you swear instead of you actually playing Boomer was doing all of the work

-it made your heart happy anyway

-you joked with him that when the fingernails come off you’ll beat his ass in valorant

-”Whatever you say my love” he assures pressing a kiss to your shoulder

Punz

-okay but opening jars normally is hard

-how the fuck were you supposed to open them with long ass fingernails on??

-you did probably the most ridiculous tips and tricks from TikTok to try and loosen the top of the jar

-nothing worked

-punz watched you amused day in and day out whenever you tried to open any jars

-some days he even let the jar loosen before hiding it back again and watching as you cheer excitedly, opening it on the first try

-one day you’re having a particularly hard time opening a jar, going as far as cursing in frustration over the opening

-punz walks over to you, pulling the jar from your hand and popping it open with ease you watch admirably

-you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek and he flushes underneath your touch

-now every time you have a jar you can’t open you’re right by Punz’s side pouting and holding out the food

Quackity

-obviously, Alex has always opened doors for you

-he’s even gone as far as smacking your hand away when you try to open a door for yourself

-and when you get your nails done? Forget about it

-he barely lets you lift a finger, not wanting for you to ruin your brand new manicure

-he’s seen you pull off quite a few nails by missing the door handle and hitting it a bit too hard

-there’s no way he’s gonna make you lose more

-”i’m going to work!” you yell out to Alex as you walk out the door

-he rushes in behind you unexpectedly and out towards your car

-he already has the door opened and is offering a big grin

-you lean up and press a kiss to his lips, your heart surging at the idea that you had gotten the best boyfriend in the world

Karl Jacobs

-kinda like typing, you never thought you’d have an issue writing stuff down with your nails on

-however, this time around you got your nails a little longer than usual and it was a struggle

-as you’re scribbling down a grocery list you mess up practically every other word in sloppy writing

-Karl tilts his head when he tries reading the list and smiles

-”baby let me write the list,” he whines the next time you go shopping

-you tell him everything you need and Karl writes it down in perfect hand writing, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he gets up

-you’ll never not be shocked when he does something so simple but precious