#my own mom too is so yuck when it comes to caring about things beyond white women

[iwatcheditbegin]

Liberal westerners talking about having to take mental health breaks from social media bc posts about a literal genocide are “too hard to see” has got to be one of the most privileged and selfish takes in a long time.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 152

Poor Alex, there was no way to know and changing the story would be more of a breach of the implied contract than going forward. Plus side this warning implies we'll get more info on how the biology of the infection works before RSB actually explodes. To be clear I am all for warnings, I just imagine this was one heck of an awkward position for Alex & co to find themselves in. Well one would think they wanted to get through the intros as fast as physically possible! Seriously bless em for sticking with the structure instead of saying screw it and diving right in. Must be frustrating but it really helps me get in the right space to listen. Yeah it was a bit of an altruism run. That Ben physically ill at the prospect of characters talking? Yuck it up, I was specifically promised three (3) distinct topics would be addressed including both coping mechanisms and back stories. Poor Azu. If someone doesn't hold her while she has a proper cry I will be an unhappy Magpie. Are the new kids going to be invited to the conversations that are totally for sure not going to be put off for a month? Retcon: Barnes and Carter actually fought well it. I guess they were just down to the tricky ones. Theatrical much? Cel is great, have I said that enough? Well obviously not it should be declared at least hourly: "2 o' clock and Cel is great". But right after last episode instead of backing down (and IDK implying Wilde told the new kids their pronouns), Cel is immediately introducing themself with them and emphasizing their importance. Hamid right in there with the leadership, telling the duo that the party needs to go into isolation. I know having Zolf around must have took some weight off his shoulders but the man has grown since season one or even since Prague. He didn't lose that just because he cheers up when not solely responsible for leading the party. Note there is a messy negotiation with Zolf about who is in charge coming up and it is a mark of my trust in this show that I'm not dreading it. Am curious if it will be explicit enough for the white picket fence kids to pick up on, I know I have a thing about rank but some people seem to miss that aspect entirely. OK point Zolf but even with his charisma score there has to be a better way to put it than "do that and you are responsible for infecting Jasper and the village". Wow I guess that is the case isn't it. Thank you leader!Hamid coming in again. Getting Cel the kind of updates on home Hamid was denied in quarantine is fairly low risk for great gains in Cel's comfort with the whole thing. Point of clarity: as much as I hate to admit it, once the quarantine began they couldn't really keep Hamid in the loop since Ishaq was in the care of the Harlequins. Its been implied even without simply escaping an infected person could have means of communication that work in am anti magic cell. The village however is public info. Zolf, I want that again in small words! Are we talking black death or infrastructure problems? Because a few targeted infections could take out the government but not directly kill the citizens. Cel is doing the forced cheer again. What the hell have they been through that they default to words of affirmation for gory violence? Like most characters acknowledge the gore or that it was helpful, not both. Barnes is more reserved outside of the fight. Issues? Trauma? Oh Helen spelling it out, he's my type, crap. "Emotionally unavailable pirate" is a lot of people's type TBF. No wonder I made a warding gesture on hearing Zolf's description and didn't warm up till Dover. These characters wear the red flag as a cape and I'm surprised when my heart gets broken every time. Eh Zolf came back and is doing well enough, maybe Barnes will turn out to just not be chatty vs heart rending. And Hamid in there with the initiative casting Detect Magic so they don't have to face all the risks implied with not checking over the bodies. Barnes and Carter are glowing "like a fireworks factory where things have gone wrong". Only Water Breathing on the mooks. Speaking of emotionally unavailable pirates, Zolf sounds resigned as hell. I know he's working on it but the situation would depress anyone and he's been having a time of it, what with the puzzles and all. Shutting down isn't actually coping better than being shouty just more convenient. Have I already mentioned I want someone to comfort Azu on screen so she can put herself first for once? Remember how bright she shone in Cairo? If she doesn't process soon she's going to echo Zolf's arc. Carter is trying to looking at the bright side. Thank you Ben and Alex, not only a mood lightener but one that reminds us that Zolf asks direct questions now. And Zolf just moved as clearly as possible to protect Azu after Carter lashed out in response to her. I know they have a ways to get to where Grizzop & Azu were but I think they are at least proper team mates. Maybe having Zolf on this side of the bars this time will ease anything Azu is carrying from their introduction. Cel is a delight. Did they just suggest hamster balls? I love how Alex jokes about his own set design. Ah there is Ben's Minecraft joke. I think that's what you call environmental story telling. I love the mental image of them making their entrance crashing the mine cart into the ambush, like half way between a roller-coaster and sledding. Ah its been so long Zolf can't apply his memories of mining. They are officially out! Azu and Zolf are finally breathing right. Hey Zolf broke the weather machine! Cel takes a look see. Plumes of smoke from Shoin's? Wreckage from all the storms. Zolf joins Cel and USES HIS WORDS! I am so proud of him. Like not kidding learning to proactively offer praise & comfort instead of only offering concrete assistance in reaction is a huge step. Oh Cel! Getting yourself killed fighting alone would not have been better than defending your patch. And Zolf is right there, god remember Paris? Remember Prague? Now look at him. And there is the reality check. Not as jarring as it could have been. Azu is face down on the ground near Hamid! No more putting on her game face and slogging through it! Yes, process all you need darlin, no reason to rush. Hamid checks in! Azu takes his hand and explicitly talks about how scary it was when he was missing. Hamid talks about putting on a brave face for Skraak! RQG really just said "we're giving the fandom everything they want" in an episode recorded before we had a chance to ask. Azu checks in with Hamid! Oh Hamid its ok not to be ok. Oh hat Azu! Hamid call your family 18mumble is a go! Alex I will scream if he gets another delaying tactic. Cross your fingers we might get Ishaq and Saira! Azu assures him it would OK. Timing Zolf Horses! Topaz! Barnes: right Well that's a fair reaction to a celestial camel, he doesn't even know what the T stands for. Azu hugs Topaz Thank you Alex for making judgmental celestial camel canon.  How GMs don't all go insane with power from the moment it hits they can rewrite their world on a whim is beyond me. A Shetland for Hamid, a standard sounding horse for Cel, a cart horse for Azu, and another Shetland for Zolf. Carter can't get the question out before Zolf shuts him down. He is sticking to his word to Skraak, the island belongs to the Kobolds. Hamid calls en route! Bryn remembers to roll for it! Ishaq is a great kid, such a good sign he sounds like a kid too. Yes the kids are all together in the country house! Dad is at a redacted location, thank you Alex! Mom is alright! Saira is busy and the biggest problem with Ismail is that he is now taller than Ishaq! Ismail is good at magic too. Family bonding time. Einstein is working. Emeka & Veseek are helping things. Ed is with the family. Zolf is not happy about the call. Fair Zolf but none of us are regretting that call. Eh it being a one time thing is fair. Have I mentioned I like how Hamid & Zolf bicker? Its not like with Grizzop. They assume good faith and argue about the issue not score points. Part of why I shipped them in the beginning honestly: charismatic as Hamid is he probably impressioned like a duck on the first person to care more about what he was saying than how he said it. They joke about how hard nonverbal shots are in a podcast. Yes Alex we really do respect your craft. Might have been reassuring Ben. Helen is on the audience's side as always and tells him to pay up on the promised coping mechanisms talk. And Alex makes them roll a perception check. Do not talk block. Carter has been trying to eavesdrop. Azu tells him he isn't invited and Zolf tosses something at his head. Carter slinks back off. Zolf is still not good with words but he is resisting the urge to take it back. That counts damn it! Azu: your not good at talking for someone who says we need to talk. Yes Azu, and thats what makes it special. He is willing to put himself out there and do things he is bad at for the sake of the team. I like how Helen plays Azu getting over her issues with Zolf rather than just leaping to "Hamid vouched for you so we're besties". I need a clip of this, Zolf is offering to listen and be there while respecting boundaries and citing his own experience. Helen is great, Azu jumps right into the 18 months by asking about his relationship with Poseidon. Which again makes sense, as Azu is still working on "we met after you drugged, trapped, and imprisoned me". Which I get but seriously couldn't it have been in the stew or something? Drugging a woman's drink has connotations. Azu backstory(ish) oh thank Alex her cult is still doing the good work. Zolf tells Azu this, and offers her an out? Hamid & Zolf offer reassurance. Yes Hamid specifically tells her it isn't her fault. Zolf assures her that she isn't responsible for Sasha's decisions. Cel and Carter are chatting about what they've seen on the island.  Barnes tells them to keep the volume down and does Zolf's thing of bouncing something off Carter's head when he's loud again. Hamid moves to check in with Cel. Cel calls him on it.  Hamid asks what Cel plans to do after quarantine! Thank you Bryn! Cel doesn't know, ow. Cel feels obligated to be more proactive. Hamid reassures and points out that they were able to do it as a team so its not on Cel for not acting alone. Cel what is your backstory, afraid of being the monster. Thank you, I could wrap myself in this episode like a blanket. Cel how do you know that about being friends with mercs? Hamid would do it again but wants them to have a choice. Cel: When I call you little buddy I m not referring to the size of your heart. And that was veering saccharine so Ben swoops in with the Harrison Campbell joke. Do not make me get into why Hamid might be using snobbery as a cover for continuing to care more about what people might think than what he wants. Its a cheap shot for what could equally be he's that age and still has some flaws to work through. Thank you Alex for being realistic about horse pace without turning it into a word problem. Wilde! Cel points out the inn keeper could be infected, the boys explain the system of watching one another. Zolf is not letting Wilde get cute with his team again. Wilde wants them "fully supervised" in the bath. I feared that Alex, Wilde turned himself off again. Zolf calls him on it, kinda. They skim past the bath, thank you that could have been problematic. Thank goodness they are leaving the cell door open but locking the trap door. The new kids are in quarantine with them. Fair, going to be fun, but fair.  

[aspencreek]

Smoke Bitten Excerpt

1 "Are you okay, Mercy?" Tad asked me as he disconnected the wiring harness from the headlight of the 2000 Jetta we were working on. We were replacing a radiator. To do that, we had to take the whole front clip off. It was a rush case on a couple of fronts. The owner had been driving from Portland to Missoula, Montana, when her car blew the radiator. We needed to get her back on the road so she could make her job interview tomorrow at eight a.m. The task was made more urgent by the fact that the owner and her three children under five were occupying the office. She had, she told me, family in Missoula who could watch her children, but nobody but her alcoholic ex-husband to watch them in Portland, so she'd brought them with her. I wished she had family here to watch them. I liked kids, but tired kids cooped up in my office space were another matter. To speed up the repair, Tad was taking the left side and I was working on the right. Like me, he wore grease-stained overalls. Summer still held sway-if only just-so those overalls were stained with sweat, too. Even his hair showed the effects of working in the heat, sticking out at odd angles. It was also tipped here and there with the same grease that marked the overalls. A smudge of black swooped across his right cheekbone and onto his ear like badly applied war paint. I was pretty sure that if anything, I looked worse than he did. I'd worked on cars with Tad for more than a decade, nearly half his life. He'd left for an Ivy League education but returned without his degree, and without the cheery optimism that had once been his default. What he had retained was that scary competence that he'd had when I first walked into his father's garage looking for a part to fix my Rabbit and found the elementary-aged Tad ably running the shop. He was one of the people I most trusted in the world. And I still lied to him. "Everything's fine," I said. "Liar," growled Zee's voice from under a '68 Beetle. The little car bounced a bit, like a dog responding to its master. Cars do that sometimes around the old iron-kissed fae. Zee said something soft-voiced and calming in German, though I couldn't catch exactly what the words were. When he started talking to me again, he said, "You should not lie to the fae, Mercy. Say instead, 'You are not my friends, I do not trust you with my secrets, so I will not tell you what is wrong.'" Tad grinned at his father's grumble. "You are not my friends, I do not trust you with my secrets, so I will not tell you what is wrong," I said, deadpan. "And that, father of mine," said Tad, grandly setting aside the headlight and starting on one of the bolts that held in the front clip, "is another lie." "I love you both," I told them. "You love me better," said Tad. "Most of the time I love you both," I told him before getting serious. "Something is wrong, but it concerns another person's private issues. If that changes, you'll be the first on my list to talk to." I would not talk about problems with my mate to someone else-it would be a betrayal. Tad leaned over, put an arm around me, and kissed the top of my head, which would have been sweet if it weren't a hundred and six degrees outside. Though the new bays in the garage were cooler than the old ones had been, we were all drenched in sweat and the various fluids that were a part of the life of a VW mechanic. "Yuck," I squawked, batting him away from me. "You are wet and smelly. No kisses. No touches. Ick. Ick." He laughed and went back to work-and so did I. The laugh felt good. I hadn't been doing a lot of laughing lately. "There it is again," said Tad, pointing at me with his ratchet. "That sad face. If you change your mind about talking to someone, I'm here. And if necessary, I can kill someone and put the body where no one will find it." "Drama, drama," grumbled the old fae under the bug. "Always with you children there is drama." "Hey," I said. "Keep that up, and next time I have a horde of zombies to destroy, I won't pick you." He grunted-either at me or at the bug. It was hard to tell with Zee. "No one else could have done what I did," he said after a moment. It sounded arrogant, but the fae can't lie, so Zee thought it was true. I did, too. "It is good that you have me for a friend to call upon when your drama overwhelms your life, Liebling. And if you have a body, I can dispose of it in such a way that there would be nothing left to find." Zee was my very good friend, and useful in all sorts of ways besides hiding dead bodies-which he had done. Unlike Tad, Zee wasn't an official employee of the garage he'd sold to me after teaching me how to work on cars and run the business. That didn't mean he was unpaid, just that he came and went on his own terms. Or when I needed him. Zee was dependable like that. "Hey," said Tad. "Quit chatting, Mercy, and start working. I'm two bolts up on you-and one of those kids just knocked over the garbage can in the office." I'd heard it, too, despite the closed door between the office and us. Additionally, just before the garbage can had fallen, I'd heard the tired and overworked mom try to keep her oldest from reorganizing all of the parts stored (for sale) on the shelving units that lined the walls. Tad might be half fae, but I was a coyote in my other form-my hearing was better than his. Despite the possible destruction going on in the office, it felt good to fix the old car. I didn't know how to fix my marriage. I didn't even know what had gone wrong. "Ready?" asked Tad. I caught the cross member as he pulled the last bolt. A leaking radiator was something I knew how to make right. Before I'd left work, I had showered and changed to clean clothes and shoes. Even so, when I got home, IÕd gone across the back deck to go in the kitchen door because I didnÕt want to risk getting anything from the shop on the new carpet. I'd disemboweled a zombie werewolf on the old carpet, and one of the results of that was that I'd finally discovered a mess that Adam's expert cleaning guru couldn't get out of the white carpet. All of it had been torn up and replaced. Adam had picked it out because I didn't care beyond "anything but white." His choice, a sandy color, was practical and warm. I liked it. We'd had to replace the tile in the kitchen a few months earlier. Slowly but surely the house had been changing from the house that Adam's ex-wife, Christy, had decorated into Adam's and my home. If I'd known how much better I'd feel with new carpet, I'd have hunted down a zombie werewolf to disembowel a long time ago. I toed off my shoes by the door, glanced farther into the kitchen, and paused. It was like walking into the middle of the last scene in a play. I had no idea what was causing all the tension, but I knew I'd interrupted something big. Darryl drew my eye first-the more dominant wolves tend to do that. He leaned against the counter, his big arms crossed over his chest. He kept his eyes on the ground, his mouth a flat line. Our pack's second carried the blood of warriors of two continents. He had to work to look friendly, and he wasn't expending any effort on that right now. Even though he knew I'd come into the house, he didn't look at me. His body held a coiled energy that told me he was ready for a fight. Auriele, his mate, wore an aura of grim triumph-though she was seated at the table on the opposite side of the kitchen from Darryl. Not that she was afraid of him. If Darryl was descended from Chinese and African warlords (and he was-his sister, he'd told me once, had done the family history), Auriele could have been a Mayan warrior goddess. I had once seen the two of them fight as a no-holds-barred team against a volcano god, and it had been breathtaking. I liked and respected Auriele. Auriele's location, which was as far as she could get from Darryl and remain in the kitchen, probably indicated that they were having a disagreement. Interestingly, like Darryl, she didn't look at me, either-though I could feel her attention straining in my direction. The last person in the kitchen was Joel, who was the only pack member besides me who wasn't a werewolf. In his presa Canario form, he sprawled out, as was his habit, and took up most of the free floor space. The strong sunlight streaming through the window brought out the brindle pattern that was usually hidden in the stygian darkness of his coat. His big muzzle rested on his outstretched paws. He glanced at me and then away, without otherwise moving. No. Not away. I followed his gaze and saw that the door to Adam's soundproofed (even to werewolf ears) office was shut. As I turned my attention back to the occupants of the kitchen, my gaze fell on my stepdaughter's purse, which had been abandoned on the counter. "What's up?" I asked, looking at Auriele. Maybe my voice was a little unfriendly, but Jesse's purse, the shut door of Adam's office, Darryl's unhappiness, and Auriele's expression combined to tell me that something had happened. Probably, given the people involved and my insight into a few things going on in Jesse's life, that something had to do with my nemesis, Adam's ex-wife and Jesse's mother, Christy. The bane of my existence had finally returned to Eugene, Oregon, where I'd optimistically thought she might be less of a problem. But Christy had a claim on my husband's protection and a stronger claim on my stepdaughter's affection. She was going to be in my life as long as they were in my life. Christy's strikes on me seldom rated a level above annoyance. She was good at subtle attacks, but I'd grown up with Leah, the Marrok's mate, who had been, if not as intelligent, infinitely more dangerous. I would pay a much higher price than dealing with Christy to keep Adam and Jesse. That didn't mean I was going to be happy about her anytime soon. I might be able to take her on just fine, but she hurt Adam and Jesse on a regular basis. Auriele's chin rose, but it was Darryl who spoke. "My wife opened a letter meant for someone else," he said heavily. "This is your fault," she snapped-and not at Darryl. "Your fault. You have Adam, her place in the pack, the home that she built, and you still won't let Christy have anything." I might like Auriele, but the reverse was not true because Christy had a way of making everyone around her hyperprotective of her. Auriele was a dominant wolf, which meant she started out protective anyway. Christy just put all of Auriele's instincts into overdrive. Still, I couldn't see her opening anyone else's mail because I was Adam's wife instead of Christy. I decided I didn't have enough information to process her accusations. So I asked for clarification. "You opened a letter from Christy? Or for Christy?" "No," said Darryl, staring at his mate. "She opened a letter for Jesse." Auriele glanced at the table, and I noticed, for the first time, that on the table in front of Auriele was a stack of mail. On the top of the stack was a white envelope with Washington State University's distinctive cougar logo-and all the pieces clicked. I pinched my nose. It was a gesture that Bran, the Marrok who ruled all the packs in North America except ours, did so often that it had spread to anyone who associated with him for very long. Since I'd been raised in his pack, it was bound to get to me sooner or later. It didn't help with the frustration, though I felt like it helped me focus. Maybe that was why Bran used it. "Oh, for the love of Pete," I said. "Jesse told me she was going to call her mom a week ago. Let me guess-she put it off until yesterday or this morning. And Christy called you. You came over, found the letter from WSU on the table-" "In the mailbox," said Darryl. I raised my eyebrows, and Auriele's chin elevated a bit more and her shoulders stiffened. Yep, even in her current state of Christy-born madness, she was a little embarrassed about that one. "We got here just as the mail carrier left," she said stiffly. "I thought we could take the mail in." "You found the letter in the mailbox," I corrected myself. "And, given the urgency and trauma that Christy expressed to you about her daughter's change of plans, you had to open it to find proof that dire shenanigans were afoot." Jesse had been accepted to the University of Oregon in Eugene, where her mom lived. She had also been accepted to the University of Washington in Seattle, where Jesse's boyfriend, Gabriel, was attending school. Both were good schools, and she'd let her mother think that she'd been debating about which way to go. Adam and I had both been sure she intended to follow Gabriel-boyfriends outranked parents. I understood why Jesse hadn't wanted to tell her mother-witness the current scene with Auriele. Though putting it off had just been postponing the explosion. But all of Jesse's schooling plans had changed thanks to recent events. Our pack had acquired some new and very dangerous enemies. A week ago Jesse told me she'd decided to stay here and go to Washington State University's Tri-Cities campus. I'd agreed with her reasons. Jesse was a practical person who made generally good choices when her mother wasn't involved. The only advice I'd given Jesse was that she needed to tell Adam and Christy sooner rather than later. "Hah," Auriele said with bitter triumph, pointing at me. "I told you it was Mercy's idea." I opened my mouth to retort, but the door to Adam's office jerked open and Jesse stalked out, her cheeks flushed and her fists clenched. She glanced past me at Auriele and gave her a betrayed look that lasted for a long moment until she rounded the corner and took the stairs at a pace that was not quite a run.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #262

WoW will probably start to take over my life again tomorrow oof so expect surveys to slow down some.

What do you wish people wouldn't call you? The only one I don't really like is Girt calling me "kid." He doesn't mean it in a derogatory way or anything like that; he's just always called me that since I was a high school freshman and he was a senior. Now as an adult that's been through things I don't believe anyone deserves, it's kinda weird but more so frustrating as, regardless of his intentions, I somewhat feel belittled. I've never said anything directly about my discomfort, though, so it's my own fault. I just don't want to make him feel bad for doing it for years lmao. What do people say about your name upon learning it for the first time? They don't say anything; my name is very ordinary. Why did you choose the hair length you have? I have a few reasons. The biggest is because I was just bored of average, long hair, and the fact I was at the time having a very hard time with self-care. My hair would get incredibly knotted to where it was hard to even brush it sometimes. Makes me shiver thinking back on it. For my own sanity and ease, it needed to be gone. Also, with how STUPID hot I get, cutting it all off helped with the weight of my hair (it's v thick) but more importantly how hot it made me it the warm months. Zero regrets chopping it all off, omg. If your hair could be ANY color, what would you pick? At this very moment, I really want silver hair. Do you wish your hair was longer or shorter than it is now? It needs a trim. Do you think you're attractive? (It's okay to say yes =P) No; I think I wouldn't look ALL to bad if I lost some more weight (I've literally been on a weight loss plateau for two fuckin years). When I was perfectly healthy, I didn't think I was very pretty even back then, but now that I look back, I feel I was decently pretty. Not gorgeous, but. What is your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. :') What is your favorite movie? The Lion King. The second one is like directly behind it. Finding Nemo is also very precious to me. What is your favorite book or magazine? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. What is your favorite song? Ugh, this is impossible. I love way way too many. I suppose maybe... "Death Inc." by Motionless In White? Idk. What is your favorite color to wear? Black, duh. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? South Africa because I want to spend time with and take pictures at the Kalahari Meerkat Project and especially pet a Whiskers meerkat. I WILL cry. Meerkats literally changed my life. So many people I wouldn't know... If you got the chance and wouldn't get caught, would you cheat on a lover? NOOOOO the guilt though. Someone drops a fifty dollar bill and doesn't notice. Will you tell them? Definitely. I'd feel awful otherwise. Would you ever pierce something on your face? I already have my lip and tongue pierced, and I did have my nostril pierced, too. I want more, particularly an undereye microdermal if I can switch to contacts... which I don't like. I think it'd look pretty dumb with glasses. Are you selfish? EVERYONE should be to a degree depending on the occasion. Doing what is best for you is not a bad thing. Are you mean to people who are different from you? Wow no. I find people "different" from me interesting. Do you make fun of obese people? By the BMI definition, I am one of those people. So take a guess? Do you eat when you're upset? I have to fight that extremely hard, because I usually do experience the impulse to comfort eat when I'm very depressed. I've gotten way better at it, though. What if you had to choose between feeding yourself or feeding your pets? I honestly don't know for sure what I'd do... but I think I would prioritize my pets, honestly. It would break me to watch them suffer and lose weight. What if you saw someone being beaten on the street? YOOOO I READ THIS AS "EATEN" FIRST. But anyway I'd call the cops ASAP. There's a possibility I'd intervene if I felt myself capable of taking on the assailant. What if it was you being beaten? According to the night terrors I've had beyond count, curse like a motherfucker and fight back while calling for help. Who's the most important person to you (related)? Mom. Who's the most important person to you (non-related)? Sara. What's more important to you, happiness or success? Happiness. What's more important to you, your happiness or someone else's? Depends on the person. List the ten most important things to you: Oh, yikes. No order: 1.) My peace of mind, health, and happiness; 2.) my family; 3.) my pets; 4.) my career future; 5.) my friends; 6.) a YouTuber I've never met lmao; 7.) my pebble from my partial hospitalization program; 8.) Teddy's ashes; 9.) the Mark mug Sara gave me sobs; 10.) and the RP site I'm on. Like if it disappeared tomorrow with all the profiles and history and stuff I would break the earth in half oof. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? No. How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Hm. I don't think once. In the house - shoes, socks, slippers or bare feet? Bare feet.\ Do you consider dogs inside or outside pets? Usually indoor, depending on the breed and the time of year. What’s your favourite piece of furniture in your house? ig my bed? Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s parent? Yikes no. Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? Sucker for carbonated over here. Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? A full moon. Would you rather eat at the table or in your room? I'm so used to eating in my room. Do you like the sound of birds singing when you wake up, or is it annoying? I love it. If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd love to, but it'd really be my mom's choice. What’s your ideal activity for a rainy day? Nap oh lawd. Favorite type of cracker? Cheez-Its. Banana sandwich... yum or yuck? Only yum with peanut butter. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Spiders. Bagels or English Muffins? Bagels. Do you like to daydream about sex? I do it sometimes. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? My dad is really funny. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? A family friend. Have you ever written a story from beginning to end? When I was little and was writing that meerkat story, yes. I started on the sequel but didn't get far. What’s a big turn on for you? Being genuinely interested in what makes me me. Actually wanting to know the littlest things about me. Just show sincere interest. Are you doing anything tomorrow? I do know I'm fuckin finally getting my laptop home. Does your car have a name? N/A Do you own clothes from any celebrity clothing lines? No, but a bitch is getting a Cloak shirt or hoodie at some point. Who was the last person you ranted about? My bitch of a cousin for being a disrespectful fuck when all my dying grandmother wants is to talk as a group with the whole family. I ranted to Mom though, not in the group chat because I'm actually mature enough to not talk shit when, again, all our grandma wants is peace and love between us at the end of her life. I was SEETHING. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember any. I LOOOOOVED those magic kits as a kid, though. Is there music in your head right now? Right now "Dirty Pretty" by In This Moment is on, so does that count as "in my head?" Would you like to become a dancer? It'd be very cool, most certainly, and due to taking dance classes so long, I tend to think of potential dances in my head when I hear like... any song, lol. I'd love to be one if I had the grace and endurance + no hyperhydrosis. Name one person of the same sex as you you wouldn't mind doing: Hunny I'm bisexual, there's a lot, lmao. Dream woman? Uhhhh. Maybe my friend Alon. She was like one of my first hints I wasn't straight, lmao. But idk, I find soooo many women to be attractive. What is the most gory film you've seen? One of the Saw movies. What a surprise, ik. Ever fallen down a hole? ZOINKS no. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? Clean, durr. Do you know any vegans? Only online. Do you like bananas? I am VERY picky with bananas. They have to be perfect. My preferred ripeness lasts only like, two days. .-. What's a film you've seen that confused you? Oh boy, idk. I don't watch many films... especially if I'm confused and the plot isn't great, I'll stop watching. WAIT!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! I went to see Warcraft when it came out and I was so fuckin lost just because the orcs' voices are so goddamn deep that I just sat there like "uhhhh sir come again????" I didn't play Classic, and I'm not great at remembering every aspect of the plot, so. I'm to this day p confused lmao. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I really only ever wear black. What is next to your bed? I have a white shelf to my left where I put my meds, a drink, the fan... that kind of stuff. My cat's food bowl is to the right of it on the floor. Are your fingernails dirty? Nope. Have you ever fell for someone believing you could "fix" them? Not for that reason, no. Describe a picture of yourself that you hate: LASKJDLKFJAOWJE my friend took a picture of me eating a hot dog once and joked she was putting that shit on Facebook and it was funny as shit but thank Christ she was in fact joking. Would you rather play a good or an evil character in a play? While I'd love to be the evil one, I'd probably make it too cheesy because I am a BAD actress. Has anybody ever lied to you just to impress you? Story of one of my "best" friendships. What's your favourite shade of blue? Baby blue, probs. Can you remember a world before iPods? I do indeed. On rides to school when I sat in the back, I would bring one of those portable CD players with me to play discs. Where did you go on your last date? I can't remember the place's name... Lume's? Something like that? Breakfast place in Illinois. Do people find you "cute"? It happens sometimes. Who does the best remixes? Oh idk, I don't pay much attention to this. Where do you get your news? Facebook, lmao. What social stigma does society need to get over? What DOESN'T it need to get over???? What was the last photo you took? Probably something funny on Facebook to send to Sara lmao. I will get memes to her some way. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? As badly as I want to say dragons, I don't think it'd be a great idea, heh... Maybe dryads. What are you interested in that most people aren't? As of recently, TARANTULAS. I've fallen in LOVE with them. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? No clue. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The gem collecting sound from Spyro. It was my text ringtone on my last phone! I need to move it over to my current one. What was the biggest realization you have had about yourself? I was possibly the bigger villain than Jason in the breakup. But idk. What topic could you spend forever talking about? Gay rights. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? In the original patent, it was designed as going over. GMM knowledge. Therefore I find over as correct, BUT I ultimately don't care like... at all. I don't even really notice when I go in the bathroom. Are you usually early or late? Usually slightly early. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics so I could be a more helpful member of society alksdjfka;lw What is the most annoying question you've been asked? It's not really like, annoying I guess, but the closest would be just how frequently people see my lip ring and ask if it hurt. It's incredibly sensitive skin, and even if it wasn't, a needle went all the way through it. Like... guess. News flash: being stabbed hurts, lmao. Like I always explain that it's not awful, but duh, there is pain. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Yummm chocolate. What was the worst phase in your life? 2020 thinks it's a bad guy, but lemme tell ya, shit's got nothing on 2016. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I hate sprinkles on anything. Just an annoying texture with negligible flavor. The last time you went out to eat - what did you order? It was just a milkshake. Do you have all 32 teeth? I'm missing two wisdom teeth that just never grew in. Do you know how to do the moon walk? Never tried. What is one of your favorite comedy movies? White Chicks. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah. I don't think I do. Onion rings or french fries? Fries. Not an onion ring fan. Who is the best cook that you know? Sara's mom is great, omgggg. She's cooked things I generally don't like yet I wound up enjoying. Can you name 3 different dinosaurs? Let's see: Spinosaurus, stegosaurus, velociraptor. I was a dino kid, man, just gettin' started. *finger guns* What's the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? I'd daaaash for the swingset. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? Ummm I think 6-something pounds? 7? Where do you spend most of your time at? At home. In my bed. Exciting stuff, y'know. What noise does your favorite animal make? If my memory serves me right, they have over 40 vocalizations, but I'd say barking and chirping are the most ordinary/basic. Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little? lol I don't think so. What is the best kind of mac & cheese? I'm a basic-ass Velveeta bitch lmao. Who is your favorite oldies band? Boy oh BOY, you're asking a classic rock/metal addict. Of course it's Ozzy tho. But I love soooo many!! What is your favorite farm animal? Pigs! Do you like to play Monopoly? I'm not a big fan, no. What is the most fun restaurant you have ever been to? I like the vibe of Buffalo Wild Wings. Or I just have good memories there. What size bra do you wear? I'm actually not sure. I haven't bought new ones in a while and I don't think the ones I currently have are the right size anyway. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room? No. Who was your favorite Sesame Street character? I don't remember too well, but I think Cookie Monster? What about Muppet? Idr. What was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? I am sadly paying no attention. What do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? Could you handle taking care of that many children? Ew, hell no. I don't believe the number of children warranted in a family should be legally monitored, it's much more difficult than that, BUT RATHER I'm very firm about knowing when it's more than enough. Population control is a thing. NOBODY needs that many kids imo, not even close to that. So far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? How has it affected your life? Letting go of Jason/accepting life without him. It has made my life much, much brighter and healthier. Have you reunited with any old friends recently? Was it awkward, or just like old times? No. When was the last time you talked to your first ex? February of 2017. Wow... been a long time. How different is your online personality from your offline personality? I am MUCH more outgoing and talkative online. What are your favorite holiday-themed movies? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, etc... Do you listen to Christmas/winter-themed music when the season comes around? No. Is there anything that you do that’s potentially controversial? Yes. What is your most recent obsession? Most recent, whew, tarantulas. I'm really gonna try talking Mom into letting me get one when/if we move. Do you say “merry Christmas” or “happy holidays”? To you, does it really matter which one is said/you say? Do you do your best to remain politically correct? Instinctually, I say "merry Christmas;" that's what has always been said around me. I personally see zero problem in calling it whatever... Like just appreciate someone wishing you well. You get the concept, and that's all you really need imo. As for political correctness, I'm kinda... down the middle? Like I feel it's been taken way, way too far, but I see some caution in wording as wise. If you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? Would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same? Ugh, my first visit at Sara's. I just loved it so, so much. I think I wouldn't change a thing. It felt perfect. Is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can’t? Sometimes when I take these surveys and they ask "how old were you when...", ha ha. Frustrates me. What was the last thing/event to trigger a painful memory? It was last night, actually. The Final Fantasy VII remake is out, and I started watching a YouTuber I like play it. Jason got me to play the original, playing it a lot when we spent time together, but I only got a bit beyond half-way through before my PS3 broke. Cherished memories, so it was decently triggering indeed. I loved the game though and ABSOLUTELY want to see it played out in its entirety, so I shoved past the pain and am glad I did. Now I'm anxiously awaiting the next video aljkdsjfawe Y'ALL I wanna play more FF. What do you think of people that choose not to vote? I can't say anything, seeing as I never have voted before... Are you keeping anything from the people you love? Nothing important, no. Have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not? Yes, and that stupid novel is one of my biggest regrets. Who the FUCK would joke about that, though. When was the last time you let something ‘go to your head’? Not even like an hour ago. This happens allllll the time. When are you most likely to show off? Maaan Guitar Hero used to be good for that shit, ha ha. I was an expert at that back in its day. I haven't played it in forever, and on the rare occasion I do, I am suuuper rusty. Which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains? MOUNTAINS!!!!!! Do you follow any dating rules/play any dating games? No. When was the last time you felt extremely confident about something? ME????????? CONFIDENT???????????? WHAT A CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!! When was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion? Wow, not a clue. Probably not since we lived at my old house and I would go on walks down the path. What was the last thing that happened that you couldn’t explain? Oh I dunno. What do you do with all of your spare change? I just keep it in my wallet. Where did you hear about your all-time favorite band? He was and still is one of my mom's favorites! How many cans of soda do you drink in a day? AHHHHHH soda is my biggest nutritional weakness. I refuse to let myself drink more than one a day now though. It's funny and disgusting, when I was HEALTHY AND SKINNY I could on a rare occasion start a fourth can in a single day. Nowadays the thought almost makes me shiver. What is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest? The oldest thing, ummm. Not sure. Probably a stuffed animal in the attic. I just got two new books today! Is there anything you wish you had never found out about? Yep. A number of things. What is something that you refuse to believe in? Astrology. What is something you wish more people believed in? Gay rights. What food is your ultimate comfort food? Ice cream. Have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? What? OMGGGG I remember doing this in elementary school as a class! I don't recall what was in it, though. Is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive? Too sensitive, but also negligent. It's got a lot to do with raising, imo. Don't show kids wild shit at too young of an age, and when they are shown this kind of stuff, you make it obvious that the behavior/content is unacceptable irl. Entertainment is not responsible for someone's shitty actions made with their own volition. What is something you used to fear, but no longer do? My first huge fear was thunderstorms. Now I enjoy them lol. Do you think it’s important to know a 2nd language? Not mandatory, no. Especially depends on if you're going anywhere. Do you know anyone that’s just naturally good at almost everything? My old friend Hannia IMMEDIATELY came to mind. She was the best in class GPA-wise, first chair for flute in band, and just in general STUPID talented. Do you know anyone that’s just bad at everything? BITCH ME What is one emoticon you use often? A sarcastic :^) or <3 What is one emoticon you almost never use? A lot, particularly ones with equal signs for eyes.

[mugler88]

Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they're SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious. The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs. 100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds. 99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING. 98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank. 97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym. 96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person. 95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is 94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here. 93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.” 92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is. 91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT. 90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen? 89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it. 88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly 87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter... “Rebecca is here?…....now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE. 86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever…. 85. Derrick Barry: Nope. 84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner 83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?! 82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK. 81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don't appreciate. 80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina. 79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst. 78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too. 77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her. 76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul. 75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don't prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way. 74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care? 73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah... that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?! 72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself. 71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks. 70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust. 69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive. 68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY…...BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?! 67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much. 66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess' look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted. 65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great. 64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so… 63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be. 62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding. 61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her. 60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch. 59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS) 58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER. 57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot. 56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT. 55: Acid Betty: I don't remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS. 54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it. 53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you? 52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders. 51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever. 50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS "SWAMP CRED" She was so fat her hormones were just like "WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know. 49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC. Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn. 48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline. 47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT. 46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can't. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce. 45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE... and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill. 44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED. 43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens. 42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER! 41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE…. 40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you'll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person! 39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you. 38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor. 37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important. 36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit. Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot" in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they're by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered... fuckin pussies. 35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real. 34. Victoria "Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins. 32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy. 31. Pearl: 31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE! 30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make. 29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends. 28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won't believe this but its true, she's a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?! 27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool! 26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED... SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important. OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!... yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!! 25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH! 24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing. 23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don't like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people. 22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware". Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL "I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog)." . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with. 21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME. 20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I. 19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can't really get from TV. 18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh) 17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS! 16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD... and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don't believe me???.. check out the hemline. 15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good. 14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”. 13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out. 12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”. 11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE. 10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW. 9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber... well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER. 8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a "read off". She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK.... thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!? 7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around. 6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose. 5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid. 4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN. Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?! Alyssa is an America treasure! 3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean.... Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD. 2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE. Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE... and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore! 1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said "I NEED TO BE HERE." Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP. Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.

[thebogdanone]

Home/away from home

Home/away from home

I stumble out of my room thinking…it's Thursday, right? I look down the hall to see Josh, who lives in the room next to mine, passed out on the floor right in front of the bathroom door. He is fully dressed and in an odd way looks quite peaceful with his arm under the head...then I notice the vomit drying on his sleeve and his cheek and I think...yuck, I am so glad that is not me. I look at my watch. It is 7:45 AM and then I pause...isn't he in my Lit class which starts in 15 minutes? I envision our classroom, one of those huge lecture halls and yes, I'm right, he is in that course with me. Then I think...will he be happy if I wake him up or hate me for disturbing him?

As I ponder the options John from three doors down emerges from his room with a loud belch and says, without missing a beat, "who the fuck is that...Josh again?" I nod. "Again" I think? I have never seen him asleep in the hall before but apparently this is a regular occurrence. I try to form into sentences what I had just been thinking about whether to wake him or not and just as I start to say "What should we do...?" big John bends down and effortlessly rolls Josh's body away from the bathroom entrance, tucking him up again the wall. John belches loudly again as he enters the toilet stall, slamming the door shut with a bang that jars me into reality. “I have to get going” I think and I step into the bathroom. Then I stop...I take a step backward and look back down at Josh...he is dead asleep, for sure, but he is not dead. Crazy as it sounds, way in the back of my mind that was a worry. I determine it’s highly likely he’ll miss class and so my "note to self" is: take good notes in class today.

I walk back into the bathroom. The putrid smell of stale vomit and urine is overpowering, as always, and I instinctively hold my breath. It's not until I turn the shower on and smell my soap each morning that I can breath regularly again. While the water slowly warms up I cross the bathroom to take a piss and notice a spent rubber congealed to the urine cake at the base of the urinal. I think to myself "gross — but at least they are practicing safe sex,” then I chuckle to myself at the thought of walking in on whoever belonged to that condom and the act they were engaged in while using it. I wonder what I would have done...that thought actually makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Here I am, only awake for about 15 minutes and I have encountered a drunk asleep in the hall, vomit (sight and scent!), the overwhelming stench of piss, a spent condom and now, as I contemplate a shower I'm hearing John fart so loud and long it almost sounds fake — but the sound of his grunting that follows assures me the farts are indeed real and I do not stick around to experience the odor! I wonder again, not for the first time, why it is I wanted so desperately to live on campus...I mean I basically told my mother I would die if she didn't let me — yes, I am prone to exaggeration! Anyway, its mornings like this that make me glad I can hop on a bus and get home to Rittenhouse in about 20 minutes and take a bath and eat real food and hang out with my dog and my little sister and just get away from all of this madness that is my dorm life...

OK. Enough contemplating my own existence. I have to get going and I know when I start thinking life thoughts I can get lost in that world so my next move is to instinctively look for my Paul Mitchell products which should — key word "should" — be on the counter where we all keep our stuff. I quickly realize, again, my conditioner is empty and my shampoo bottle is missing its top. I am reminded how my mom is about ready to kill me over my levels of "hair product consumption" since I moved into the dorm — she thinks I have some control over who uses my stuff. I don't. She wants me to carry my hair and body washes in this silly caddy thing to the bathroom each day and I keep telling her no way would I be caught dead doing that but TBH I am just about fed up with this. I will say I am pretty sure I know who is using my stuff though, but if it is him I really don't care...I owe this guy big time. My good buddy Brian, who I owe my current A in politics to, seem to always smell of Paul Mitchell and yet he uses, like, VO5...go figure? Honestly, if it wasn't for him and his editing skills my grade in that course would likely be a C. I am so lucky to have such a brain living just four doors away. This guy is so into reading and editing and helping everyone on our floor. We are all so lucky. I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't dorm and instead lived at home? Each of the guys on my floor offers something helpful in my college existence — Brian is the brain and the "go to" man for course help, John is the muscle and helps with all lifting and protecting, Josh knows everyone so he is our party connection, Asan has a real head for negotiating and deal-making, my roommate Steve is the guy who gets all the ladies to visit our floor and I'm the guy with the car. Whenever we need anything off campus I drive. I'm not allowed to park my car on campus so I bike home and get it whenever we want to go shopping.

Post shower, on my way back down the hall I agreed with myself I would not take more than a cursory glance at Josh — basically checking to see if he still has a pulse — so as not to disturb him or bring attention to him. That latter thought makes me chuckle — "bring attention to him" Ha ha ha! Too funny. As I round the corner to exit the bathroom I am quite shocked…and relieved...to realize Josh's body has moved — either by will or by force. I stop at the door of his room and give a light tap. His roommate Vincent comes to the door..."All good?' I ask. He says "yeah, I'm cool — what’s up"? Then I direct my gaze past him to Josh's bed where his body is flopped, still fully clothed, still embellished with vomit stains on his cheek and arm and still wearing his Timberland boots fully laced up! "Oh man, you mean him...well I can't speak for him right now but I'm sure he'll be cool after he sleeps it off". "Agreed" I reply — "I think his hang-over is going to be memorable". We both laugh and I say "look, if he needs anything or you need any help with him let me know — He did me a solid last week when I was in a head not so dissimilar so I owe him one.” "Will do" Vincent says as I head back to my room.

Vincent is a decent guy and I suspect they are — as roommates — a good match. As far as my roommate — Cal...A.K.A. Romeo — one could never discern if we would or would not have made good roommates because he is rarely — I actually mean NEVER — here. He met this Senior exchange student from Rome on his third night on campus. She lives in a single over near where the food trucks park at the edge of campus and basically from the first night they hooked up he has slept, ate, studied and, well, had sex in her room for the entirety of his first semester at college.

When we were matched up in June we started texting. To be honest we did seem to have a lot in common — tennis, business, art, music and reading. We shared Instagrams and so I knew he had this serious three year high school relationship with this hot chick from New Jersey. Every third pic was Camilla in a bikini and Cal's face buried in her huge tits. Camilla had one of those bodies that are naturally fit and she's athletic so everything looked...well, excellent! Her hair was long and lush in this chestnut brown tone and her eyes this unusual hazel shade and I did think to myself it was going to be hard for him to be away from her — she is only just now a high school senior — because there likely is a line of guys just itching to get at her. When we met at orientation he professed his undying love for her and told me he gave her a "promise ring". I knew a few girls who had received "promise rings" in my high school — one of them was gifted one that was larger than most women's engagement rings — and I used to joke that the only purpose they served was to keep a girl faithful...but the guys went on cheating like mad! Whatever, to each his own. Anyway, the day he moved into our room Camilla came with his parents. In person she was even more stunning and she had this very alluring voice — sort of sweetly deep in timbre -- and I could not take my eyes off of her. When on night three I looked across the room at a house party we were at in South Philly and saw Cal's tongue deep in the throat of the petite, dark, mature Italian exchange student we had been introduced to when we arrived I could hardly believe my eyes!!! I mean it was shock beyond belief!!! I did not see him leave that night and I did not see one sighting of him for that entire first weekend. Then Sunday evening, as I came back from the dining hall with Asan, John and Josh, there he was with her in our room. Her accent was just as adorable as I remembered it in our brief encounter a few days before and just as striking. They were giggling and he was packing a bag and he looked up and said "Hey Alex, this is Marina, you remember her...from the house party" “Sure," I said, extending my hand for her to shake. She took my hand, leaned in and kissed me on both cheeks. I am so sure I blushed and then she said "Hello friend, so nice for you to have me". I laughed — thinking yes it would be VERY "nice for me to have you" but clearly THAT is not gonna happen! Cal informs me, with few words and no detail, that he will be staying at Marina's "for a while". I immediately glanced at the overly adorable HUGE "bulletin board of love" that contained about a million pics of him and Camilla that was hanging over Cal's desk — and that Marina was now intensely staring at — and then back at him. He shrugged his shoulders and said “yeah, man, that was rough but I gotta move on.” OUCH! crass at its most intense! YIKES. SO this is love. Who knew?

I noted he only packed about three days of clothes so I thought ... ok, by Thursday or Friday he'll be back so I better not get too comfortable with the idea of a single...Oh if only I knew then what I know now and how those three words — "for a while" — would literally change the course of my Freshman year at college. Needless to say I have caught fleeting sight of Cal a few times at parties and once when he came to collect more clothes and his running shoes but that’s it! Now "our" (my) room is officially known as Alex's Airbnb. I am not so sure Cal knows much if anything about his (and I would like to keep it that way...) but there you have it. It works like this: The vacant bed in my room, that was Cal's, is now "rented out" for use when someone has a roommate who wants to bring a girl — or guy — back to his room. It’s administered by a sharp business student, Asan, who is probably my best mate in the dorm. He cooked up the scheme one Friday night when John kicked his roommate into the hall and we found him sleeping there. I offered him Cal's bed and went to Asan's room to hang out and watch some YouTube videos. Asan got this idea that in the morning I should let everyone know I had a vacant bed in my room and anyone could use it for 25 bucks. I told him I could not be bothered and I really did not need the hassle or the 25 bucks. He persisted though, and, given that he needed to devise some business scheme for one of his courses, I agreed — but only if he “administrated” the project. I did think, rather naively, that maybe he would rent it out ten or twelve times and then that would be that so I really wouldn’t need to pay too much attention to this project. Nothing to worry about! Ha Ha HA! famous last words..."nothing to worry about!?” Rarely is there a night I sleep in my room alone! Yes, I have a single....but I am almost never alone. Asan found someone who needed the bed the very next night after our conversation. He found someone for the next night, and then the next. He started to book it out several days in advance. Now the bed is also available hourly in the mornings and afternoons (at a rate of $15 for three hours!) and there have even been some girls who have rented the bed for a night. I am of course a complete gentleman and nothing untoward has commenced with any of them. TBH none of them have been even remotely hot but everyone has been so kind...even the drunk ones. I admit this is all rather bizarre — to open my bedroom door and see an outstretched hand attached to a nervous person leaping from the bed saying "Hi, I'm Kate...or Whitman...or Daniel”…or to see some huge guy’s nearly naked body asleep on Cal's bed and me standing there worried about waking a sleeping giant. Many people are now return customers and many people have started charging their roommates the $25 fee for the inconvenience. One guy even told his roommate the fee is $30 and he pockets the extra five. Sharp business man!

Asan (who is currently working on an upgrade that will net US these extra fees…) has been true to his commitment to "administrate" and people now know know him as “Superhost," which is an apt nickname for him because along with running an error-free schedule he does an excellent job of keeping the toiletries stocked (of course from the stash that my mom refreshes incessantly) and changing the sheets — a job I would never do and frankly rarely gets done on my bed. I mean, my mom asked me a few weeks ago if i needed anything. I said yeah, I need my sheets changed…I was half joking about my poor laundry habits…but, sure enough, my mom sent the woman who cleans her apartment over to the dorm to collect my stale sheets and she re-sheeted my bed so fresh and nice and even swept my room and vacuumed my carper and dusted! WOW — I thought when i saw it — my room is actually quite cool. My mom is good like that — she spoils us rotten and I know I'm somewhat of a lazybones because of it but I am always so grateful and I said thank you about ten times and called my mom very grateful for all she does for me — and all the guys on my floor. She sends monthly "Floor care packages" — a laundry basket stuffed with everything we all love...Oreos, peanut butter, goldfish, healthy granola and more…and, of course, cases of bottled water. My mom is obsessed with me NOT drinking Philly tap. She is sooooooo skeptical of city tap water. That annoys me but it’s her thing so I let it slide.

Starting in late October "Alex's Airbnb" got its own app — NO SHIT: I told you Asan was brilliant — and now it regularly brings in about $200-240 a week and of that Asan takes a 35% cut so I make $140-$160 a week. While that is sweet the result is I have absolutely NO privacy at all. None. Zero. Zilch! Also, my room door has to remain unlocked. On top of all of this our RA, Harrison, is starting to get annoyed with the whole thing and threatened Asan with a need to be "cut in.” I’ve placated him with these cases of Vita Water and boxes of blueberries and smoked salmon my mom has sent to me every four or five days. (I did tell you she is obsessed with me eating a healthy diet...didn't I?) Harrison loves that stuff and I am, frankly, sick of it so it’s a win/win...for now!

My Airbnb has made me a rather popular guy and everyone is so cool with me and Asan — I think it’s because they have to be out of fear they could need our services at any moment! The guys on my floor are like family to me already. We would do anything for each other. I have never felt such a bond so quickly with unrelated humans but I guess this is the normal outcome of communal living. We see each other for most of our waking (and sleeping) hours each day. Trust me, it’s not all great: these are the humans I have to thank — not! — for my two-day hangover last weekend and for introducing me to that wack girl from the third floor who I could not get rid of for three weeks and for our two-week probation over the colored water and suds in the fountain stunt…but, hey, this is dorm life and these are now my peeps.

On our floor there is a wide mix of students and I have to admit I do think there are those living here who would rather be elsewhere — like the two foreign exchange students who are Juniors and basically they are these mature men living among a floor of boys. Aldo is from Israel and Benyamin is from Denmark and they are marketing majors studying here to hone their marketing skills in the marketing capital of the world — "if you can't sell it to an American, it can't be sold" is the attitude I think the rest of the world has about Americans. Embarrassingly, I think that statement has many elements of truth. I notice these two can often be found in our floor lounge or in other campus locations asking questions or requesting that people fill out surveys. They have approached me a few times. I'm polite and I give general answers but I have this thing about giving too much away to future marketeers — I look at it this way: you gotta be pretty keen to learn my habits as I am a person of change and I rarely listen to the same music or take the same route or eat the same meal. I suspect my close friends could predict my actions or responses — this is not a comforting thought — in some situations but I'm actually an intensely private person and so giving hints about my likes and dislikes to marketing majors so they can lump me into a category with the rest of these clowns is NOT something I want to be a part of my reality as a college Freshman. They are innocent enough and I get they have task to complete but I would rather be left out of it.

Speaking of Benyamin — he is in my Stats class where I am headed after Lit. I am the only Freshman in that course. I scored the highest level on the Math assessment and my adviser is keen to use me as a test subject to see if a Freshman can handle advanced Stats "out of the gate" as she says. I currently have a course grade of 105% so um, yeah, some of us can. Benyamin is struggling — I think it might be the language barrier but whatever the reason the night before the mid-term exam I saw him in the lounge looking so damned stressed out. I offered him a Vita Water and gave him some encouraging advice — I said, “look, you know this material and, plus, numbers have no language barrier.” He told me after the exam that my words helped him — a lot — during the exam. I received a perfect score on the mid-term and he got an 89% which he admitted is waaaaaay better than he has done all semester, so, it’s moments like this that I think, wow, my just being here has enriched someone’s life.

The dining hall at this hour its filled with mindless students — mostly Freshman — just jonesing for strong coffee and a bagel and then heading straight out the door. I have noticed that people only hang out in there for long periods on weekend mornings — and that, again, is so different for me because on weekends I stop in to snag a coffee but then I head to my Mom's and enjoy a home cooked brunch — tormenting my sister Maya and roughhousing with my Mom's new puppy Miracle and just exhaling from the week that was. I have stopped sleeping in my comfy bed at home on Saturday nights because I have discovered, albeit rather late in the semester, a social life of sorts playing some pretty intense ping pong in my dorm basement. Many are the hours we can pass down there — I need this as my substitute for tennis as I have only played a total of six times and I have not found one person who is at my level but I’m always just so grateful to grip the racquet and hit the ball and move around out on the court. Maybe that is the most disappointing point of Cal moving out of our room — I had fantasies of us on the courts expending our excess energy through the sport we are both so passionate about but, alas, he has likely found his new sport — sex — so much more fulfilling and I have given up hope of finding a tennis partner and now I have set my sights on being our dorm table tennis champion! I have to get much better — or lady luck needs to come for a visit — if I'm going to hope to beat Chen and Jason but I am giving it a good shot.

I have lately realized that on my "short days" like today — when I only have two classes — I have been trying to socialize more. These days, I usually give the lounge a try and I have even branched out across the campus and get lunch every few days at a cafe that is primarily filled with Juniors and Seniors. I met a cool bunch of engineering dudes introduced to me by one of my Airbnb "guests" Whitman. He and this "team" of dudes are making this rocket and I sometimes go back with them to their warehouse lab and watch them work. I’ve even given a suggestion or two a few times and they love having another math mind around as it’s all about the numbers if that thing is going to get off the ground. I willingly sit and work some calculations and I really like the sense of brotherhood I derive from those fleeting experiences.

So, yeah...Freshman year dorm life...hmmmmm, what do I REALLY think of it…? I think you should ask me during the holiday break when I will have some perspective and can take stock in what I have experienced and learned. Is it all it promised (all I imagined it) to be? This I can say for sure: not by a long shot, but I think this has as much to do with those promises and my imagination as with what has actually really happened to me and because of me and who I am — and who I am becoming. I am committed to giving it another semester and you never know...anything can happen and I'm always ready for the next bizarre turn. That is what makes this life so wonderful — accepting what we are given when we have no control and changing what we can to make it everything we can wish for!

[frethorentden-blog]

Dating your ex brother in law

Dating your ex brother in law I have found this discussion interesting in my own search for the proper term to refer to my late husbsnd's parents.  Only thing to be aware of is whether your ex-husband would have any objections - not that he has a right to unless of course he knows something negative about your former bil that would make him concerned for your welfare.  Your sister-in-law is going through a rough patch in her life and it is difficult to get around when the hurt will be around for a while.  They dated anyone who's dating? Is it ok to date your ex brother-in-law? For example, if a person's wife dies, she does not become their 'ex-wife'.  Especially if the author does it right.  If you're sure that she will not just use you as a stepping stone and later, when she's past the divorce, will abandon you and go find another man, I say go for it.  I wonder what happens to the heat of the moment in bed when your new guy wonders how he compares to his brother in bed.

Dating your ex brother in law quotes :::: dating profile jokes dirty To say it would be tacky would be a gross understatement.  Now, I've got no grief with you moving in on the brain dead half brother's family, provided she's fully divorced etc.  Friendcest - it's really divorced, whose brother, after all about twins since your family you shall not close to start dating with your eyes? In by Susan Napier has the same sort of vibe only the deceased husband and hero are not related.  So his Mom may still think of you as a potential daughter in law, but wow, do the holidays get awkward.  Make a decision chart of who this would negatively affect and who would it potential positively affect.  Yes, and move on this correctly.  Second, when a person dies, the relationship is not usually considered 'ex' as it may be with divorce.

Is it ok to date your ex brother Carol took your ex in law would be your state.  In my family, a brother-in-law's wife is called a sister-in-law.  When my grandpa re-married after my grandma died, we called my new grandma usually grandma, and my mother called her her other mother.  From a marriage perspective, incest is the marriage between close or legal relatives.  Then sadly, and that you shouldn't either.  My brother doesn't approve of him either the same reasons as my mum and.  No blood ties, no power disparity, no great age difference — love blooms in odd places, sometimes.

Should You Date Your Ex's Brother? Whether you dating friends and his brother, or woman and she's dating.  Some will be ok with it, some won't and some won't care.  Again I have no problem with this type of story and I loved this series.  Another aspect of money worries, sworn friends from a middle-aged man looking to be your ex-husband's brother, and jonathan, 44, it wasn't.  So, if your former brother-in-law is emotionally ready to begin dating again has he dated anyone else since his wife died, by the way? Luanne Rice has one where it is just divorce and they even have a child together…True Blue.  Each day that the hero spends with the sister in law is sweet torture.  I can buy it a bit more if there are no kids calling someone both stepdad and uncle is a bit much, I think and maybe the brother has been away a loooooong time -prefereably the whole marriage.

Incest and Prohibited Marriages I don't care who he is, his opinion or say so doesn't count for shit.  Some states have additional prohibitions concerning marrying your adoptive brother, your adoptive sister, your step-mother, your step-father, your former step-mother, your former step-father, your mother-in-law, your father-in-law, your former mother-in-law, your former father-in-law, your adoptive mother, your adoptive father, your former adoptive mother, your former adoptive father, your step-child, your former step-child, your adoptive child, your former adoptive child, your daughter-in-law, your son-in-law, your former daughter-in-law, your former son-in-law, or your cousins.  What she doesn't need is to start another relationship, especially with her brother-in-law.  Best 130 funny quotes about my ex boyfriend or girlfriends with images Your ex is the first person you think of when you're upset When you date Your Brothers Ex Girlfriend Katherine is the girl youd love to be shrunk near.  You obviously have concerns about it not being right hence your post.  Is also very negative, called 'in-laws' as for.

Is it okay to Marry your sister in law? Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts.  Text message meanings, Ex boyfriend, Ex boyfriend quotes, Break up quotes, Ex Honor and respect your feelings of grief following the death of an ex-spouse.  Neither had feelings for the other while the deceased was alive and it was only after his death that the two became close and discovered they had feelings for one another.  Wierd, wierd, icky, wierd, yuck.  If you are re-married, well, feel free to call the family of your first spouse whatever you want.  The sister in law and her kids come to love with him because the brother died and left the sister in law in dire straights.  They see you as their uncle, not as their step-dad.

Dating your ex brother in law Some feel that the brother + sister in law story is too incestual.  Under the chick was married soon thereafter was interested.  This was a I found enacted in 1560 and remaining law until 1907 and beyond.  Back at 50 years, and uncle-in-law.  I was at a used bookstore the other day and I came across an old Judith Duncan book.

Is it ok to date your ex brother If you can do it, understanding the risk, then ok.  I don't know and I wouldn't care either.  Jim bellino demands tamra judge to ask her everything on this website.  However, remember glaring into your sister my brother-in-law.  You are a great source of strength for her at this moment, leave it at that. .  I know the family and their friends, so I do not have to re-invent my social life.

kinship terminology If nothing else, let the dust settle before you start anything with her.  He was my brothers childhood friend.  We were related by marriage, I have been divorced from his brother for six yrs, and he was widowed over a yr ago? And wow, the arguments will be heated if you compare one brother to the other, like comparing the current guy to the ex.  They had similar background, beliefs, expectations, and knew each others children who were first cousins.  Is that what you want to do to them? Sitting across your pain and stupidly things became serious.  All she is worried about is how my brother can help her try to pay to get her Ritual magic often used spells and magic dating back centuries, the My in-laws won't talk to me.  Jim bellino demands tamra judge to.

[coffeeonthebrunhild-blog]

SolidS Unit CD Vol. 2 Translation

[Disclaimer: I did not write the content of this drama CD myself; I only translated it into English. I worked hard on this translation, so please do not re-post without my permission. Copies of these CDs can be purchased from wonderful sites like CD Japan or Animate International.

When it comes to Japanese I still have much to learn, so if you notice a mistranslation, please kindly let me know.]

Track 1: You’re Not Allowed to Object (異論は認めない)

 Shiki: That being said, I know this is sudden, but after today’s job is finished, we’ll all be moving into the dorms.

Tsubasa: Haah!?

Dai: Yessir.

Rikka: Roger. I’ve been expecting this for a while, so I’m pretty much packed… But telling us in the morning that we’re moving tonight already really is sudden, Shiki.

Shiki: It seems there was a miscommunication between the dorm and the agency. Sorry, Rikka. They just sent me the dorm’s address along with a map. I have the keys for each of our rooms. This one is Dai’s, Rikka’s, and then Tsubasa’s. They’re already furnished with the bare necessities, so there shouldn’t be a problem staying there tonight. You can pick up your clothes and everyday stuff tomorrow morning. If there’s anything else you can’t live without, buy it yourself tonight. Don’t forget to keep the receipt. Beyond that, any large furniture or personal items can be moved at a later date, and you can arrange that with the person in charge at the agency. It’s up to you to discuss scheduling with the manager. That’s all. Any questions?

Tsubasa: Yes, me me me!!

Shiki: You’re not allowed to object.

Tsubasa: But I haven’t said anything yet!

Shiki: *sigh* What, then?

Tsubasa: I don’t wanna move into a dorm.

Shiki: I’ll say it again: you’re not allowed to object. Now then, everybody get your things—

Tsubasa: Wait, wait, wait!! Don’t decide all this for us! At least talk to us about it first!

Shiki: It’s written into your contract.

Tsubasa: Eh?

Rikka: It’s certainly in there.

Shiki: On top of that, I mentioned it myself when I explained your contract. But you just said, “Yeah yeah, got it, you handle the details,” and left it at that.

Dai: You just wanted it over with.

Tsubasa: Geh!

Shiki: Therefore, you have no right to complain. Hopefully this will teach you that you should read a contract carefully before you sign it. That’s what adults do.

Tsubasa: Gehh! Damn tyrannical producer!

Rikka: Now, now, Tsubasa, calm down.

Shiki: I’m sorry we couldn’t give you more notice. But, when we took into account our upcoming schedule and the timing for Tsubasa’s exams, today was the only day it worked out.

Tsubasa: Can you not make this my fault!?

Dai: “Idol Repeats a Year…”

Tsubasa: It’s not that bad yet! Don’t turn me into the latest scandal!

Shiki: We’ll each have our own room, and the agency covers the dorm’s utility costs. It’s located in the Tokyo metro area, with good public transportation access. Your commute to school shouldn’t be bad. So what’s the problem?

Tsubasa: I have loads of ‘em!

Rikka: Could it be… your parents won’t approve?

Tsubasa: Uh, nah, that’s not an issue. My folks have a noninterference policy, so I’m on my own. And even if they didn’t, I’m already an adult. Actually, I’m living alone right now.

Shiki: Then what is it? Do you think you’ll be homesick?

Tsubasa: Don’t make fun of me!

Shiki: What don’t you like about this?

Tsubasa: To start with, your attitude.

Dai: How childish are you?

Tsubasa: Shut it, Dai-chan! You know how much I hate it when people go over my head!

Dai: Don’t call me Dai-chan! What’s wrong with the dorm? It looks like it’s close to your college.

Rikka: Ah, so it is! This seems like it’d be pretty convenient for you, Tsubasa.

Dai: In the first place, these days you only go home to sleep, right? You’re only changing where your bed is.

Tsubasa: That’s a huge problem, though! He’s arbitrarily dictating what our lifestyles should be! Doesn’t that bother you, Dai?

Dai: Not particularly. We knew this when we signed.

Tsubasa: You traitor!

Dai: I don’t remember being your ally.

Tsubasa: Usually, everybody thinks dorm life is depressing!

Dai: We won’t know that until we try it, right?

Rikka: That’s right, this will be Dai’s first time living alone.

Tsubasa: What about you, Rikka? Are you okay with the dorm?

Rikka: Me? Yup! I don’t really mind it. If anything, I’m grateful. With my schedule getting so busy, going back home in between just means more trouble.

Shiki: Also, there’s lots of merits to living in the dorm. I’ve been in a Tsukino dorm since I debuted. It’s nice not having to worry about being ambushed by fans or harassed by haters.

Rikka: Ah, that really is nice.

Tsubasa: What’s with those celebrity-like lines…

Shiki: We are celebrities. And you two are part of us now, right?

Dai: Shiki, I just want to make sure: what do you mean by harassment?

Shiki: Hm. Some mundane examples would be stalking, and sneak photography.

Rikka: There’s also, let’s see, fishing through your garbage to steal things, and leaving various items in your mailbox, yeah?

Tsubasa: Gehhh.

Dai: Seriously?

Shiki: You’re pretty lucky if that’s all you have to deal with. When it gets more complicated, things can escalate into police incidents.

Tsubasa: Gaaah, stop tryin’ to scare me!

Shiki: It’s the truth.

Rikka: Also, when you keep coming home to a dark, empty apartment night after night, it can really take a toll on your spirit. I hate that feeling, so I’ve been staying at the agency a lot. I’ll welcome the move.

Shiki: At the dorm, there’s always somebody else around.

Tsubasa: Urrrgh, but, you know! You can’t have much privacy in a dorm. I really hate how everything we do will be controlled. I can feel my free spirited mentality screaming!

Shiki: I could care less about your privacy or your mentality.

Tsubasa: That’s my biggest issue!!

Dai: Since when are you so delicate?

Rikka: And you, Dai? Is there anything you’re worried about? I think Shiki explained everything to your parents, but… if there’s anything else, you should tell us now.

Dai: There’s not particularly. My mom said it’s fine, too. If anything, she’s happier not paying my food expenses.

Rikka: Oh really? That’s a relief. If there’s ever anything bothering you, you can always talk to me or Shiki.

Dai: Yessir.

Shiki: Mm. Well then, shall we get to work?

 *

 Tsubasa: Ahh, I worked hard today! But after this day of honest work, I’m going to a dorm instead of my own home… Awww.

Rikka: Hehe, good work, Tsubasa. The dorm will be your palace soon enough. We have a full schedule tomorrow morning, so maybe you’ll appreciate being so close to work then. Um, Shiki. Our first interview tomorrow morning is pretty early, isn’t it?

Shiki: Yeah, it’s at 7. Oi, Tsubasa. Even if the dorm is close to the agency, don’t oversleep.

Tsubasa: Ehh? Darling, you’ll wake me up, won’t you?

Shiki: You’re better off not sleeping, Honey.

Dai: Oh, I should’ve brought my pillow.

Tsubasa: Huh? Dai-chan, are you the type who can’t sleep with a different pillow?

Dai: I can sleep, but if the pillow’s too fluffy my neck’ll hurt.

Rikka: To prevent that, you can roll up a towel and use that for a pillow.

Tsubasa: Oooh, as expected of Rikka, the celebrity who can sleep anywhere! Nice advice. *Gasp* Crap, I forgot something too! Clean underwear! I planned to buy some while we were moving!

Shiki: Is that a word you should say so loudly?

Tsubasa: Argh, all the stores’ll be closed this late. Dammit! I figured I’d at least start my imprisonment with some super expensive underwear!

Dai: What kind of underwear is that? The expensive ones can’t be that different, right?

Tsubasa: Some top brands go for around 10,000 yen.

Dai: Seriously!?

Shiki: You can endure for another day. The convenience store will have some.

 *

 Tsubasa: Underwear, underwear… Ah, here we go.

Dai: Can I get this t-shirt to sleep in?

Shiki: Yeah, that’s fine. It’s pretty cheap.

Dai: Thanks.

Tsubasa: Yuck, they only have white shirts.

Dai: You complain too much.

Tsubasa: But I’d never wear this again. It’s too much of a waste.

Dai: The agency is buying, so it’s fine.

Tsubasa: Ugh. Ah, Rikka? You need any underwear?

Rikka: Nah, I’m okay.

Shiki: Hm? No need to hold back.

Rikka: No, that’s not it.

Tsubasa: *Gasp* Oh my god… are you a nudist?? Rikka, are you the type who sleeps naked!?

Rikka: I’m not! I just already have my underwear.

Dai: Just how well prepared are you?

Rikka: I thought we’d be out late tonight. When going home is too much trouble, I stay in hotels sometimes. So when it looks like a late night, I pack ahead of time.

Tsubasa: So you carry yours with you…

Dai: That’s a model for you.

Rikka: Um, if you’re that impressed, it’s actually embarrassing…

Dai: Ah!

Tsubasa: Hm? What’s up, Dai-chan?

Dai: This song…

Tsubasa: Ooh, it’s our song!

Shiki: The agency is really promoting it, after all.

Dai: This is the first time I’ve heard it outside. … It’s a weird feeling.

Tsubasa: Ehh, really? Aren’t we cool?

Shiki: Obviously.

Tsubasa: That’s surprising. I thought you’d be more modest.

Shiki: I have complete confidence in all of you. There’s no way you wouldn’t be cool.

Tsubasa: !! … R-really…

Dai: … Yessir.

Rikka: Hehe!

Dai: I wonder how many people are hearing this right now.

Rikka: It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? To think we really did have our debut…

Shiki: It’s no big deal.

Tsubasa: I’m not sure if you really are that self-assured, or you just can’t read the mood.

Rikka: Hehe, that’s how Shiki is. Compared to him, I’m sentimental. Making our debut, moving to the dorm, starting everything in earnest… It’s such an exciting feeling. When I think that the story of SolidS—our story—is finally starting, it makes me happy.

Shiki: Well, it’s true we met our starting conditions. … Once again, all of you, *bows* I’m looking forward to working with you.

Tsubasa: Shiki…

Rikka: Mm. That’s our line. We’re counting on you, Leader. Everyone, I look forward to working with you.

Tsubasa: Heh! Roger! Let’s all be open with each other. We don’t need any stuffy pretenses between us, okay? Let’s face each other, fight it out, and have a blast.

Dai: Sounds good. … I’m looking forward to it.

Shiki: Well, shall we head to our new home?

  Track 2: Cohabitation, Start! (共同生活の始まり)

 *opening a box*

Dai: Somehow, I ended up with a ton of stuff. After I told her not to pack that much… I’ve already been here a week, huh. It’s about time I finish unpacking, but… with all our jobs, I can only work on it at night. It’s gonna take a while.

*Knocking*

Dai: Come in!

Rikka: Dai. Are you busy right now?

Dai: Nah, not really.

Rikka: Did you do a little more unpacking? Wait, huh? Is this all you brought? There’s so little…

Dai: I was thinking this is plenty, though. We’ve got the furniture, and there’s a convenience store nearby. I don’t need to bring much else, right? Uh, well? Did you need something?

Rikka: Ah, yeah. If you want, will you come to the lounge? I was thinking we could eat some snacks and rice porridge[A1] .

Dai: Didn’t the cafeteria close at 9?

Rikka: That’s why I’m going to make it. They said we could use the kitchen in the common room, so that makes me want to try it out. Though, that’s just an excuse. Unpacking my things just made me hungry.

Dai: You eat a lot for how thin you are.

Rikka: Haha! I’m told that a lot.

*Crash*

Tsubasa: Whooa!! Oww….

Rikka: That was… from Tsubasa’s room, wasn’t it?

Dai: *sigh* What’d he do now?

 *

 Dai: Hey, Tsubasa, you’re being too lou— Geh! What’s with this disaster scene?

Tsubasa: Oh, Dai and Rikka! Perfect timing! If you’re free, could you help me clean up?

Rikka: Ummm, you have… quite a few things here.

Tsubasa: Ah, really? There’s so much stuff I forgot to bring, though.

Rikka: A guitar, a folding bike, a CD tower… What’s this ball?

Tsubasa: My personal futsal ball! It’s really big at my college right now.

Dai: What’s this Mt. Hakone-sized pile over here?

Tsubasa: Just what it looks like—shoes.

Dai: How many feet do you have, octopus? Throw out half of ‘em.

Tsubasa: What’re you saying? To be ready for any occasion, I need at least that many!

Dai: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Before you pull out anything else, let’s at least get all these clothes off the floor. Ugh, geez. Aw, look here! Since you put all this stuff on top, it’s become a foundation now…. *Starts cleaning*

Tsubasa: I woke up Dai’s inner mother-in-law!

Rikka: I’ll help too, so you make sure you do your part, okay Tsubasa? Though even with our help, this is just… It doesn’t look like we can clean this up in one night.

Tsubasa: Right? Gaah, what a pain! This is why I didn’t wanna move!

Rikka: Now, now. You’re tired too, right Tsubasa? Let’s clean up this corner, and then take a break for some snacks.

Tsubasa: Yeah, let’s eat! But before that, I wanna see your room, Rikka!

Rikka: Huh? But, it’s still a mess?

Tsubasa: It can’t be worse than my room!

Rikka: Well, there’s nothing I wouldn’t want you to see, so I don’t mind…

Tsubasa: Awright, it’s decided! Let’s observe a model’s habitat! *Leaves*

Dai: He’s never cleaning all this up. I’ll bet you anything.

Rikka: Haha…

 *

 Tsubasa: Pardon the intrusion~ Ooooh!

Dai: Ooh!

Tsubasa & Dai: This is a model’s room!

Rikka: You two really won’t let that go, huh…

Tsubasa: Like I thought, there’s lots of cool stuff!

Dai: Right? There’s a lot of stuff, but it doesn’t look cluttered. Why is that?

Rikka: Hmmm… the balance between the things I do and don’t show off, maybe?

Tsubasa: Ooh, that sofa looks expensive!

Rikka: Ah, that was a prop for a shoot I did once. I felt strangely comfortable sitting on it, so I splurged and bought it afterwards. I’m too attached to get rid of it.

Dai: Rikka, can I sit on it?

Rikka: Go ahead.

*Dai sits*

Dai: Ooh, it’s soft and fluffy. It really is relaxing.

Rikka: I’d prefer to have a tidy room like yours, Dai, but it’s just too hard.

Tsubasa: Hey, hey, Rikka! Can I look in your closet?

Rikka: You’re both really into this. Go ahead.

Tsubasa: Tada! … Whoa, how stylish!

Dai: Lemme see. Whoa. Are you the Fashion Banchou?

Rikka: Banchou!? I got interested in clothes because of my work, and I buy a lot of the items I’ve modeled, so it just keeps growing. Now! If you two are satisfied, shall we have our snacks?

 *

 Tsubasa: Ahh, I’m starving!

Shiki: Oh, it’s you guys. You’re still up?

Rikka: It’s Shiki!

Dai: Sir.

Tsubasa: You’re done with your meetings?

Shiki: Yeah. I just got back.

Rikka: Good work. It must be rough being both leader and producer. If you’re up for it, wanna join us for a light snack?

Shiki: Hmm. I could go for something spicy.

Rikka: Okay! Coming right up.

Shiki: Want some coffee?

Tsubasa: Ah, I do! Hey, are you done unpacking your room?

Shiki: Yeah. I was already in a dorm, so I just moved everything as-is. It was easy since the floorplan is the same.

Dai: Heeh. There’s other dorms, then?

Shiki: There’s several. It’s mostly about security, so they’re all built the same way. The guys you met at the agency recently, from Gravi and Procella, live a little closer to Shibuya.

Dai: Heeh, near Shibuya?

Tsubasa: Ah, I exchanged e-mails with everyone! Dai-chan, let’s go hang out at their dorm sometime soon! They have a huge pet rabbit that’ll eat anything!

Shiki: Tsubasa. It’s fine and good to make friends, but those kids are our agency’s precious top sellers. Don’t teach them anything weird. Their managers and the President would kill me.

Tsubasa: You don’t trust me at all!

Dai: You reap what you sow.

Rikka: Everyone, the food is ready! Eat it while it’s warm.

  Track 3: Irritation (苛立ち)

 Rikka: Mm… *stretching* Today’s a photo shoot, right? What time is it…? Good, I still have plenty of time. Okay! *gets up*

 *

 Shiki: Rikka.

Rikka: Oh, Shiki! Morning. You’re up early.

Shiki: You, too. Want some coffee?

Rikka: No, sorry. I’ll have some later.

Shiki: That outfit means… you’re going for a run?

Rikka: Yup! Just for a little. Since we’ve been out all day lately, I don’t know the area well yet. I’ve been getting some exercise while looking around.

Shiki: You shouldn’t push yourself too hard; just look at the guy who lazes around all day.

Rikka: I don’t run every day. When it’s raining, I stay home.

Dai: *yawn* Good… morning.

Shiki: Morning.

Rikka: Morning, Dai. Did you sleep okay? The snacks didn’t give you a stomachache?

Dai: Nah, s’fine. I slept so hard I didn’t even dream. I got my pillow yesterday.

Rikka: Oh good! I’m happy for you. Well, I’m heading out. I’ll be back in less than an hour.

Shiki: Got it.

Dai: We were up super late last night, but he’s still running… Is he a monster?

Shiki: Must be his routine. He’s always been worried about staying in shape.

Dai: Isn’t he fit enough as it is?

Shiki: He’s not the type to cut corners. You wouldn’t think he wanted to quit, huh?

Dai: How diligent is he?

Shiki: Well, it’s true you can’t survive on looks alone.

Dai: So he’s talented, and a hard worker? He’s really something. He’s been in the industry longer than you have, right?

Shiki: Yeah. From that perspective he’s my senpai. Anyway, what about you, Dai? You don’t have a workout routine?

Dai: I did before, but lately, not really.

Shiki: Really? Well, you just changed your entire lifestyle. Don’t overdo it.

Dai: Eh?

Shiki: You look like you want to start running too now.

Dai: Nah, I… don’t really… Probably…

Shiki: Pfff. Compete with Rikka if you want, but you should give yourself a little more time to settle into your new life. Don’t rush it. Hurting yourself won’t accomplish anything.

Dai: … Yessir.

Shiki: By the way… is your partner still sleeping?

Dai: Please stop treating me and Tsubasa like a set.

Shiki: I need you to help keep him in line. Please. He always butts heads with me, but he seems like he’ll listen to you and Rikka, to an extent at least.

Dai: *sigh* I’ll go wake him up, then.

Shiki: I appreciate it. I’ll make us some tasty black coffee.

Dai: … For mine, could you… add a little milk?

Shiki: Pff. Understood.

 *

 Tsubasa: *yawning* So sleepy…

Dai: But you slept as late as you possibly could!

Tsubasa: I can’t help it if I’m sleepy. *yawns* Wake me when we get there…

Shiki: Oi! Look sharp! If you’re half asleep in front of the camera—

*Tsubasa snoring*

Shiki: That was fast!

Rikka: Haha…

Dai: Well, in his case, I think he’ll wake up the instant you point a camera at him.

Shiki: *Long sigh*

Rikka: He’s quite a showman, our Tsubasa.

Dai: He just likes standing out.

Rikka: But that’s a valuable talent too.

Shiki: Well, it helps that nothing fazes him, but…

Dai: Can’t we just throw him into some kinda variety show? That, or a comedy show.

Rikka: Haha, good idea! He’d get us more fans either way.

Shiki: Worst case, if he screws up today’s job, I’ll seriously consider it

Dai: Shiki raised your death flag. Do your best on the comedy show, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Mmm… what’re ya sayin[A2] ’… *snores*

Shiki: Well, let’s go over today’s schedule. First, we’ll go meet with the recording company. A lot of big shots will be watching you, so be prepared for that.

Rikka: I’m getting nervous…

Dai: Don’t give me that, Demon Conman.

Rikka: That’s quite a nickname!

Shiki: After that, we’ll be shooting all afternoon.

Rikka: They mostly want solo shots for our next single insert, right?

Shiki: Yeah. We’ll do a few pair and group shots too, but mainly solo. We’ll do different pictures to go with each song, which should give us the freedom to show off each member’s individual charm as well. Photography is your arena, so show off to your heart’s content, Rikka.

Rikka: But this shoot is for SolidS, not just me.

Shiki: I’m saying the rest of us will benefit if you go all out. You better not hold back on us.

Rikka: Hehehe! Roger.

Dai: But, solo shots? I have such a bad feeling about this…

Tsubasa: *sleeping*

Rikka: Tsubasa should be full of energy for the shoot.

Shiki: Hrmph.

 *

 Photographer: Okay, now let’s take a few test shots for the solo photos!

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Uh, Tsubasa-kun, do me a favor?

Tsubasa: Yes?

Photographer: Could you go for a more natural look? Right now it feels a little fake.

Tsubasa: Okay! Natural? Natural, huh… Got it!

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Ah, that’s great, Tsubasa-kun! And could you tilt your head a little more to the left? Just relax! Yeah, that’s it. Ahh, eyes on the camera. *camera clicking* This time look away, toward the ceiling… Ahhh, perfect! And now look straight at the camera and give me a little bit of a glare. Like you wanna burn a hole through the person on the other side!

Tsubasa: Roger! A burning glare… That’s it! Excuse me, can I make a request?

Photographer: What is it?

Tsubasa: Can we have Shiki stand behind the cameraman?

Shiki: Huh? What’re you saying?

Tsubasa: If my eternal nemesis is there, I’ll get way more into it.

Shiki: Your eternal nemesis?

Photographer: Haha, okay. Shiki-kun, can you do it?

Shiki: Bring it on.

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Oh! Perfect. Just like that, as provocative as you can. We’ll try out some pair shots next.

Dai: That’ll just make them scowl even worse.

Rikka: Haha. The sense of tension comes out nicely, though?

 *

 *camera clicking*

Photographer: Okay, that’s enough! Good work, you two. Go ahead and take a break.

Shiki: Okay.

Tsubasa: ‘Scuse  me, can I look at the shots we just took?

Photographer: Yes. They’re all collected on this iPad, so be my guest.

Tsubasa: Thanks! Oooh! I really am cool!

Shiki: You’re such a narcissist.

Tsubasa: You were scowling way too much though.

Shiki: Worry about yourself.

Photographer: Now, while they’re resting, let’s take a few of Rikka and Dai-kun.

Rikka: Okay. I’ll be in your hands.

Dai: Yessir.

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Ooh, that glance is as cool as ever, Rikka! You’re giving me chills! If you show me a face like that, I’m gonna get greedy! Could you sweeten it up a teensy bit? Yes, yes, yes, yes! Perfect, just like that!

*camera clicking*

Tsubasa: Wow! Rikka’s all out.

Shiki: That’s what a pro looks like. Watch him closely.

Tsubasa: When he’s in work mode, Rikka’s lady killer style really is sinful, huh? He’s got that devilish vibe. He’s such a nice, normal guy inside, though.

Shiki: That contrast is his selling point.

Photographer: Great, all done! Do the real shots just like that, too.

Rikka: Yes! I’ll be relying on your direction.

Photographer: Now, last but not least, Dai-kun. You’re up.

Dai: Thanks.

Rikka: *Sigh*

Tsubasa: Sup, Lady Killer?

Rikka: I’ve got nothing on you, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Ahaha, don’t try to act modest.

Rikka: I’m not acting modest at all. No stuffy pretenses between us, right? Look. I really like this expression of yours, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Really? If you say so, Rikka, I suddenly feel more confident! I think this one is pretty cool too; your thoughts?

Rikka: Mm! That one shows off your strong will. Shiki looks…. Pfffff!

Shiki: What?

Rikka: Ah, sorry, sorry. It’s this one you took with Tsubasa. It’s really good.

Shiki: Don’t tease me.

Rikka: I’m not teasing you! You’re really making a great face! It brings out an unexpected side of you. Like, ‘Ah, Shiki can make that kind of face too.’

Shiki: Seriously, stop teasing me.

Tsubasa: As for you, Rikka, aren’t you too sinfully seductive? I kinda feel like I’ll get turned on if I look at this too much. How can I produce pheromones like this?

Shiki: Wasn’t there a better way you could have said that?

Tsubasa: Eh? That was a mega compliment, though?

Rikka: Um….. Thank you… very much….

Tsubasa: Ugh, seriously, how do you do this?

Rikka: Hahaha….

*camera clicking*

Photographer: You’re still too stiff, Dai-kun. Could you liven your face up a bit more?

Dai: !! Sorry.

*camera clicking*

Shiki: Dai is struggling, huh.

Rikka: It looks like it. If he gets stuck now, he’ll only get more nervous. I’m a little worried.

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Pretend you’re on stage, and give us some impact!

Dai: Okay….

Photographer: I saw the tape of your first show. You were making a great face. Try remembering how you felt then? With the heat of the venue, and the fans’ excited faces…

Assistant 1: Man, even though he’s got the looks…

Assistant 2: We just need to cure this awkwardness.

Rikka: Um, why don’t we take a breather? A change of pace might help.

Photographer: You’re right. Let’s do that.

Dai: Um!! I’m… fine. I’ll keep going!

Tsubasa: Yes, yes, good work! *throws arm around Dai* You’re way too stiff, Dai-chan. Relax!

Dai: *throws Tsubasa off* Shut up.

Shiki: Well, not everyone thoughtlessly nails their first shoot like Tsubasa did. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Don’t let it bother you.

Tsubasa: If you’re gonna praise me, could you do it more directly, Producer?

Shiki: But, I need you to master this. Get used to it. This is another part of the job.

Dai: ! … Yessir.

Rikka: Don’t worry. You can definitely do it, Dai.

Dai: That’s easy for you to say.

Rikka: Huh?

Tsubasa: Hey now, Dai!

Dai: !! …. Sorry.

Rikka: …. No…. I was a little insensitive, too. Sorry.

Dai: ….. Bathroom. I’m gonna cool my head.

Shiki: Dai’s especially nervous today.

Tsubasa: Rikka, sorry about that? That’s not how he really feels… He was just taking his frustration with himself out on you. Unlike me, Dai-chan is really responsible and hard-working, you know?

Rikka: Ah, yeah, I know. Thanks, Tsubasa. I don’t mind. Even when you’re used to it, standing in front of the camera can be stressful, and it’s even worse when you’re not. I just forgot about that.

Tsubasa: Hm? Does that mean even you get nervous, Rikka?

Rikka: Yes! Of course I do.

Tsubasa: While making that sexy face?

Rikka: Umm….

Tsubasa: Really? That’s surprising. I’ve never really been nervous before. Sometimes I shake when I’m really worked up, though. Like, trembling with excitement?

Rikka: Haha, that sounds like you.

Shiki: If you and Dai could balance out, that would be perfect.

Tsubasa: What’re you saying? If we did that, we’d both be average and boring, right?

Photographer: Haha, that’s true.

Shiki: Director! Good work.

Photographer: Good work, Shiki. Well, we planned an extra day of shooting in case something like this happened, so don’t worry. There’s no need to rush. We got several decent shots, and compared to when he started, he’s doing much better. Getting a good expression out of him is my job.

Shiki: We really appreciate you saying that.

Photographer: I think Dai-kun has a lot of potential. That’s why I couldn’t help but ask for too much. Ah, Rikka. I’d like to take a lot more shots of you like we did earlier. I wanna capture that same atmosphere from before. Can you pose again?

Rikka: Ah, yes. I understand.

 *

 Dai: What’s wrong with me? I’m being such a brat.

  Track 4: I Don’t Wanna Lose (負けたくない)

 *Dai enters his room & shuts himself in the bathroom*

*Water running*

Dai: *sigh* … I thought they’d never leave me alone. *sigh* In the end, I couldn’t finish the shoot. They said we’ll try again tomorrow, but… I’m the only one who’s not done. … He said to liven up my face, but… how am I supposed to do that?

Tsubasa: *enters Dai’s room* Dai-chan! Huh, that’s weird. I thought he came in here… *Enters bathroom* Ah, here you are! *Snaps picture*

Dai: Wa—! What the heck!!

Tsubasa: It’s a candid pic of Dai~.

Dai: Quit the pointless crap!

Tsubasa: It’s not pointless! They told me to do this. *more pictures*

Dai: Haah?

Tsubasa: They said to take a bunch of candid pics. They’ll use ‘em in fan club releases. And if we take lotsa pictures of you, Dai, you’ll get used to the camera.

Dai: *sigh*

Tsubasa: Oi!

Dai: *flops down on his bed*

Tsubasa: O~i. Dai? Dai-chan?

Dai: What?

Tsubasa: I’m warning you now: don’t you dare say things like being an idol isn’t your style, or you’re not suited for it.

Dai:  I won’t say that.

Tsubasa: Oh yeah?

Dai: Don’t belittle me. Once I decide to do something, I won’t back down that easily.

Tsubasa: Ahh, that’s a relief. If you said something that lame, I’d hafta beat the crap outta you.

Dai: Stop thinking you can settle everything with your fists. We’re not living in an old TV show. We’re all human, so we should try talking it out first.

Tsubasa: Ha! You look tough, Dai, but you’re more the mature, pacifist type, huh? But, wouldn’t a punch get the point across faster sometimes?

Dai: Never. And anyway, if we pulled that crap now, Shiki’d be super pissed.

Tsubasa: Uwa, what a pain.

Dai: If you get it, restrain yourself. *covers himself with his blanket*

Tsubasa: Joking aside, you’re pretty discouraged, right?

Dai: … Not particularly. Not discouraged. I never thought I’d be good at this from the start.

Tsubasa: So you were expecting this?

Dai: At least, I know there’s no point comparing myself to you.

Tsubasa: Ha! Well, yeah. If I do say so myself, I’m a natural. I’m taking to it like a fish to water.

Dai: You said it.

Tsubasa: But, becoming a fish is your specialty, right? Since you were a swimmer!

Dai: Were you trying to say something clever there?

Tsubasa: Wasn’t it clever?

Dai: It wasn’t. If you came here to nag me, you suck at it.

Tsubasa: Hmmm, close, but not quite.

Dai: Huh?

Tsubasa: I’m looking out for you as your elder. C’mon, Dai-chan, tell Tsubasa-onii-chan all about it! I’ll listen to all your complaints!

Dai: *sigh* Get out! *starts to drag Tsubasa out*

Tsubasa: Whoa, w-w-wait, wait!! I get it, I get it! I’ll stop, I’ll stop, so don’t pull me, you’re stretching my shirt! This t-shirt is a premium brand, you know!? And Dai-chan, aren’t you a pacifist!? Are you listening!?

Dai: I’m not listening!

Tsubasa: Then listen!! *Dai shoves him out* Oi, Dai!

*Dai locks the door*

Tsubasa: Geez, you’re so obviously down. I’ll tell you this—ever since you bit Rikka’s head off earlier, he’s been way more depressed than you are! You better apologize for real later, okay? That’s it for your Onii-chan’s lecture!

Dai: *sigh* Who the heck is my ‘onii-chan,’ dumbass?

 *

Rikka: *sigh*

Shiki: Rikka! *approaches* There you are. You weren’t in your room, so I was looking for you.

Rikka: Oh… sorry.

Shiki: Can I sit here?

Rikka: Mm, of course. *He moves aside so Shiki can sit* Um, Shiki…

Shiki: What’s up?

Rikka: I’m sorry… about today. I ruined the mood at the studio…

Shiki: You didn’t do anything wrong. Dai is responsible for his own attitude.

Rikka: You’re really harsh.

Shiki: It’s not that I’m blaming Dai. We’re asking him to do something completely foreign to him, at a professional level. Of course he’s going to feel nervous.

Rikka: Mm… that’s true.

Shiki: By the way, Tsubasa is an exception. He’s all kinds of abnormal. Comparing the two of them is idiotic.

Rikka: Very true.

Shiki: Everybody’s like Dai when they start. He won’t give up after one little setback. He’s a tough kid. But, if you get depressed over this, too, how can we help him?

Rikka: … I guess you’re right. I get your point, but… Sorry. Somehow, I can’t help but make this personal.

Shiki: You mean Dai’s problem?

Rikka: Mm. Yes. A really long time ago, when I was still a small child… When I had only just started modeling, and people kept telling me to smile, there was a time when I stopped knowing what kind of face I should make. I thought too much into it, and it got to a point where I couldn’t look at the camera.

Shiki: Hmph. That sounds like you. You’re so earnest that you always end up overthinking things.

Rikka: Heh, right? Watching Dai today, I found myself remembering that time. So, I got anxious for him and selfishly interfered, even though I know I should just watch over him. I shouldn’t have said those things.

Shiki: Even though he looks so strong and collected on the outside, our Dai is actually really sensitive, right? I understand. You two have more in common than you’d think.

Rikka: Eh? Do we?

Shiki: Yup. Neither of you has a personality to match how you look.

Rikka: Heh! I see.

Shiki: But, how did you get past it?

Rikka: Huh?

Shiki: You couldn’t smile anymore, right? But even so, you overcame that. That’s why you’re here today.

Rikka: Oh, right. That was…

Now he mentions it, what did I do back then…? I wasn’t even in grade school yet. The staff were all adults, so I got nervous and froze up… and I couldn’t follow their instructions. The more we tried to re-do the shoot, the more I panicked… and we couldn’t accomplish anything at all. When that happened… what did I do? Did I just get used to it after trying over and over? At some point, I just got over it? … No…

Shiki: Rikka?

Dai: Hey. What’re you two whispering about?

Rikka: !! Dai!

Dai: You’re talking about me, aren’t you?

Shiki: Yeah, we are.

Dai: If it’s about all the things I did wrong today, please tell me too.

Shiki: That’s not what this is about.

Rikka: We were just going over what happened today.

Dai: Isn’t it weird for you to go over my problems?

Rikka: Mm… that’s true, but… Dai! I’m so sorry about today! It might have seemed like I don’t believe in you, and maybe you thought I brushed over your feelings, but that’s not it! I wish I could have said things a little better—

Dai: Hold on! You don’t get it at all, do you?

Rikka: Eh?

Dai: I was just down on myself cuz you’re so damn cool!!

Rikka: !!! Dai…!

Dai: Don’t make me spell out something so embarrassing! Dammit… It’s not like I wanna stand out like Tsubasa. I like listening to music, but I never cared about singing myself. I don’t think I’m particularly talented. I’ve known from the start that I’m not suited for this job.

Rikka: That’s not—

Dai: Just hang on and let me finish!! In my wildest dreams, I never thought of becoming an idol. But that day, when Shiki scouted me… I suddenly wanted to try it. I don’t understand it myself. But I knew I wanted to do this! So I said yes. Even knowing I’m not suited for it, I still said I’d do it! I didn’t come here with half assed resolve. So don’t look down on me! … I’m still a beginner, so I’m not anywhere close to the rest of you, and there’s a ton of stuff I can’t do, but I won’t be the only one you go easy on! I don’t hate working hard, and challenging myself. That’s just fine with me. Honestly… it’s really fun. I don’t wanna lose to Tsubasa, or Shiki, or to you, either, Rikka!

Rikka: Don’t wanna lose…

Shiki: Dai. That’s enough for now.

Dai: !! Sorry. But sometimes when I look at him, I get so freaking pissed off. So please let me say this while I have the chance. You’re so much more capable than I am, and yet you act like you don’t have any self-confidence, when you’re the one I wanna surpass, Rikka!

Rikka: Surpass… …AH!

Dai: !!! What!?

Rikka: That’s it! I just remembered!

Shiki: Remembered what?

Rikka: Shiki, there’s something I want to try for Dai’s shoot tomorrow. Could I talk to you about it?

Shiki: Well, if it’s something I can help with.

Rikka: Will you trust me with this, Dai?

Dai: …. Huh? Uh, I don’t really get it, but… of course.

  Track 5: 「Grin」

 Photographer: Ok, all done! We’re ready for you.

Shiki: Sorry for the sudden request.

Photographer: If the first attempt doesn’t work out, it makes sense to change your approach.

Rikka: Thank you so much.

Photographer: This was your idea, Rikka?

Rikk: Yes. I remembered when I did a shoot like this in the past.

Photographer: I see.

Tsubasa: Ooh, this is an interesting set-up.

Dai: ? How do we shoot like this?

Rikka: Dai, c’mere! You sit right here.

Dai: *sits*

Rikka: And then I’ll sit here across from you.

Dai: And?

Rikka: Let’s chat for a little while.

Dai: Chat? What about the shoot?

Rikka: Don’t you worry about that.

Dai: Don’t worry..? But that’s not gonna work. We have to finish today!

Rikka: And we will! When you make a good face, Dai, I’ll snap a picture myself.

Dai: … Huh?

Rikka: Hehe! This thing I’m holding is called a “release.” It’s like a remote switch for the camera. See how this cable connects to that camera over there?

Dai: Ah… It really does!

*camera click*

Rikka: You have a really cool profile, Dai. Your figure is really nice and masculine.

Dai: !! What’s with the shameless sneak photography!?

Rikka: Sneak photography? I guess you’re right! But isn’t it fun? Dai, you’re much more expressive when you’re talking casually, rather than freezing up in front of the camera. When I thought about how to capture those expressions, I came up with this. This way, you don’t feel like you’re being photographed, right?

Tsubasa: Hey hey, Dai-chan, look over here! S-mi-le!

Dai: You go away!

*camera click*

Dai: !! Oi, Rikka!!

Rikka: Haha! But that was such a cute face. You and Tsubasa really are close.

Dai: No we’re not.

Tsubasa: D-Dai-chan! Aren’t you being meaner than usual?

Rikka: You never make that kind of face for me, though. Maybe I’m a little jealous?

Dai: Huh!? D-don’t be stupid!!

*camera click*

Rikka: I think we’ll get lots of great shots today. Now, since we have the chance, I’d like to hear all about you, Dai. Is that okay?

Dai: … Do what you want.

*camera click*

Rikka: Yup! I plan to. Let’s take our time.

Photographer: Well, well. This is pretty interesting.

Shiki: It really is. We’re all used to seeing these expressions, but they’re completely different from what he showed on our music videos and single covers so far. His fans will love it.

Photographer: Having Rikka do the shooting is interesting from a technical standpoint too. You can really tell how experienced he is by how well he times the camera.

Shiki: It’s only… These pictures will look really out of place next to all the shots we took yesterday.

Photographer: That is a problem… Dai-kun might feel more comfortable after this, so we can try shooting his again, but…

Tsubasa: Can’t we just re-shoot all of them?

Shiki: Hmph. Don’t ask that so easily.

Tsubasa: What’s this now? You can’t do it, Leader?

Shiki: … Is there any chance you’d consider it?

Photographer: Hmmm… Okay. Let’s give it a try! To make it work, in case we can’t finish today, we’ll use both yesterday’s and today’s pictures on the insert. It’ll be hard work for all of you boys, though.

Tsubasa: No prob, no prob! Just leave it to us!

Shiki: Thank you so much! Let’s do that.

Photographer: Okay, it’s settled! Let’s get to it then. Oi! Can you set up the same system over here too? Chop chop!

*camera click*

Rikka: You used to swim competitively, right Dai?

Dai: Well, yeah.

Rikka: How long ago did you start?

Dai: I went to a swimming school when I was little. I can’t remember what started it. Maybe my parents wanted me to.

Rikka: And did you like swimming?

Dai: I mean, if I hated it I wouldn’t’ve keep going, right? I was good at it, so… !!

Rikka: What’s wrong?

Dai: Nah… Maybe I just did it because it felt good to do something I was good at, and not because I actually liked it.

Rikka: Hm. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Dai: Really?

Rikka: They say to truly enjoy a sport, you need to be better at it than anyone else. You achieve the best possible feeling once you can keep moving without conscious thought, and control your body as well as you want to.

Dai: I think I kinda get that.

*camera click*

Rikka: What did you think about while you were swimming?

Dai: Nothing really… It felt good when there was nobody in front of me. That’s all. Because the water was peaceful. It felt like my own personal space, all alone with the water sparkling from the sunlight around me. In that space, there was nothing to think about but moving on, further, and further, carving my path through the water. Further, and further. It was an amazing feeling.

*camera click*

Rikka: See? You really did love swimming.

*camera click*

Rikka: That was your best expression yet!

Dai: I forgot about the camera.

Rikka: I’m glad to hear it. Just as planned, right?

Dai: Agh, screw it. *gets up*

Rikka: Huh? What’s the matter?

Dai: Outta the way. It’s my turn.

Rikka: Eh!?

Dai: Let me take some pictures of you! It’s not fair if it’s just me. This time I’ll take ‘em, so make that face from just now again.

Rikka: You’re being unreasonable. Just now, what kind of face was I making?

Dai: A super evil looking smile.

Rikka: Evil looking? Pfff, really? I can make a face like that?

Dai: Don’t act so innocent. You always look like that when you’re feeling good!

Rikka: Eh, do I really? I had no idea. Nobody’s told me that before.

Dai: Oh yeah? Well now’s my chance to show it to the rest of the world. C’mon, move. Swap out. And then… let me hear all about you, too.

Rikka: Gladly. I’m all yours.

~End~

 [A1]Zousui: rice gruel containing vegetables, fish, etc., and seasoned with miso or soy sauce.

 [A2]I can’t quite hear this, but I think he might be doing a manzai-type tsukkomi line, as one does in a comedy show.

[autumn-elwood]

The Mysterious Girl

Sorry this is late. Finals. This is a story I wrote for a grade but rewrote for here. Also avalible: Blogger

I don’t really know how to start this but my name’s Eddie Hale. When I was seventeen, I lived in a small backwater town in California and worked part-time at a motel until 8pm. My dad would come every evening from his job to pick me up and by that time we’d both be dead tired. Occasionally we’d pick up some hitchhikers and drive them where they wanted to go.

Even years after that night I still remember every detail, each moment, which keeps me up at night to this day. It started off as perfectly normal night; Dad picked me up from the motel and we started to head home. Then we met her, the girl at the stop sign. She was a cute little thing with a weird retro fashion sense, or in other words, a hipster.

Her hair was a soft red like the billowing autumn leaves of fall that fell around her shoulders in a natural messy wave. Here eyes were a blue like denim and had a glow to them that could be described as unnerving or pretty. I opted for pretty. When I said she was cute, it was an understatement. She was eerily beautiful like a siren and I hadn’t even heard her voice.

She was standing at the corner waving her hand back and forth at us as fast as a hummingbird. Dad rolled down the window and smiled politely at her.

“Hello, looking for a ride?”

“Aye, mister.”

“You can sit in the back seat. Feel free to move some of the stuff.”

She opened the door and threw in an old carpet bag that looked like one of the ones my grandmother owned. She scooted over to the middle seat and smiled at me.

“Cheers, chaps. Name’s Judy Flint. Jenson Street if you’d be so kind,” her British accent softly dancing across my ears, rough and gentle at the same time like a whale song.

“John Hale and this is my son, Eddie. What brings you to the states?”

“Visiting my auntie and uncle while my mum and dad go on a trip around the world. It’ll be good for them. I can’t recall the last time they got a good snog with alone time to boot. I think I’s was four, maybe five.”

I scrunched up my nose while my dad let out a hearty laugh. Yuck! Who encourages their parents to have makeout sessions?

“You’re funny. You should become a comedian, kid.”

“Nah, a girl like me would never make it in show biz, I’m too nippy for them stuffy blokes and their girls. Besides, I want to write for the paper.”

Dad quirked an eyebrow before responding to her.

“Are you sure? The newspaper’s a dying business with everything being online now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped selling papers by this time next year.”

“What’s ‘online’? Is that some weird septic thing?”

We were both shocked to say the least. How could someone not know about the internet in this era of ever evolving technology.

“Um… It doesn’t matter. So Judy, how old are you? Ed’s about to turn eighteen in a month.”

“I’m sixteen. Does this fit one ever open his gob?” Judy asked tapping my shoulder.

I was about to reply when she shrieked:

“Look out!”

Coming straight at our car was a 70’s classic painted a blue as deep as the sea. Judy let out a chilling ear shattering scream and the car swerved into a tree. I barely restrained myself from screaming as well when my shoulder slammed into the side door with enough force to pop it from its socket. Dad bounce off the steering wheel and grunted in pain as he sat up.

“Where's the air---,” he said before the airbag hit him in the face, thankfully far enough away from it to not break his nose.

He pushed it down while I glanced out the window. The car had vanished without a trace. I turned around to ask Judy if she was alright, but she was gone. I gasped and started tugging on my dad’s sleeve. He turned around and his eyes widened.

“Where’d she go? She can’t have disappeared!”

We looked around for her but she was no where. The car door hadn’t been opened and the papers in the back hardly even looked disturbed. Dad kept muttering variations of ‘impossible’ and ‘people don’t disappear into thin air’ all the way home. When we pulled up in the driveway he told me:

“We must have just imagined her, sleep deprived and all. Also if your mother asks we almost hit a deer.”

He went to bed after that, completely forgetting my injuries and his own in his shock. I sighed and went to find a sling until Mom got home from her late shift at the hospital. She could fix it. Mom was beyond mad, but I still told her Dad’s story. She yelled at him for hours about not going to the hospital first and watching the road.

“John, how could you do something so idiotic?!” she yelled, “I don’t care if you were embarrassed or whatever, you know you should have gone to the hospital immediately! Either one of you could have had a concussion or internal bleeding and Eddie dislocated his shoulder!”

“Roxanne…”

“Don’t you Roxanne me, you irresponsible moron!”

“I’m sorry, honey.”

Mom rough slapped another bandage on one of the cuts on his face.

“You’re damn right you're sorry, John Christopher Hale. You’re on thin ice mister… Setting a bad example for Eddie,” she muttered angrily.

Weeks after the incident I still couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. I was obsessed. I spent hours upon hours thinking about Judy to the point that even some of my friends were concerned.

“Eddie, man are you sure this girl was real? I’m with your old man on this one. You guys probably just imagined her,” my best friend, Lilith told me for the fifth time.

“And we just so happened to have the same hallucination. Bull.” “Well you guys are related…”

“She was real.”

Lilith sighed and leaned back on my desk chair dangerously.

“Whatever man,” she said. “Have you tried looking her up on the web?”

I flushed and remained silent. Lilith took this as my affirmative that I had not thought of that.

“You dork. I swear you’d get nothing done without me,” Lilith murmured lazily handing me my laptop.

I typed in ‘Judy Flint’ in the search bar hoping for a Facebook or something but not really expecting it considering Judy’s reaction to ‘online’. Then to my surprise something came up: a news article.

“Holy shit,” I breathed in disbelief.

Lilith jumped on my bed and leaned over my computer.

“What? You found her?”

“She’s dead.”

Litith stiffened and looked at me horrorified.

“Like, they found her corpse in the woods?”

“Yeah, in 1971.”

Lilith gave me angry look.

“Don’t fuck with me like that Eddie!”

“I’m not joking.”

Lilith crossed her arms and turned away from me.

“Are you sure it’s her?”

I placed the laptop in her lap and gestured to the picture attached to the article. I didn’t really care if she believed but I needed to stop looking at the photo. Judy Flint had been in our car. Judy Flint had been dead since the 70s. That was impossible. Ghosts aren’t real, they can’t be. Right?

“Oh my god.”

“Oh my god what?”

“I know her.”

I looked at Lilith incredulously.

“You know her?!” I cried.

“She’s in our photo albums. She’s my mom’s cousin, or she was my mom’s cousin.”

I glanced at the photo and then at my friend. I didn’t see it. I tilted my head.

“You have the same nose as her!”

She smacked me in the face. I froze and brought my hand to my cheek.

“What the hell?”

“I don't’ know! Eddie, how are you so calm? You just found out you had an encounter with a ghost! How are you not freaking out?!” Lilith whispered furiously.

“Because it was weeks ago. Because how am I supposed to react to this? Because I’m already freaking out. Jesus, Lilith! Ghosts aren’t supposed to be real!”

She stared at me unseeingly and shook her head.

“But you saw one.”

“I saw one,” I confirmed, half for her and half for me.

Lilith giggled quietly before bursting into hysterical laughter. She fell onto my chest and clutched tightly at my shirt.

“I have her nose!”

I wrapped my arms around her and layed my head in her hair. I didn’t understand why she was behaving this way but I didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, Lilith?”

“For not believing you, for believing you were crazy.”

I pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. She gave me a vaguely terrified look.

“You thought I was crazy!”

Hope you enjoyed. Sorry if it feels incomplete but I thought it would be funny to leave it off there. Follow for regular updates and the ask box is open for prompts. Please inform me if you find any errors.