#my paranoid ass thinks it was that one person I shall never name again

[artistsfuneral]

The one year we actually got a bowl with sweets ready, only two (very polite) boys come and then later we get an egg to the house?

I genuinely want to know why?

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

[teenwolfsnippets]

A Bad Trip in An Even Worse Life

It's a slow night at the bar, when possibly the most beautiful male specimen walks through the door. Stiles gapes a little before Boyd, his coworker, slaps his shoulder to snap him out of it. Right, being professional, he can do this. The man takes a stool and Stiles greets him, trying not to stare too much.

"What can I get you?" he asks.

"Scotch, neat," he orders.

His voice is smooth and has Stiles' heart fluttering. The man's wearing a dark suit that hugs all his muscles nicely and his stubble is so perfectly groomed, Stiles wants to touch it, maybe lick it. That was not professional at all.

He quickly fixes the man's drink and totally doesn't check to see if he's wearing a wedding ring, which he isn't by the way. Which doesn't mean he's single and Stiles really needs to get back to work. Stiles wipes down the bar and can't help the occasional glance. The man is avidly watching the television above the bar and Stiles subtly moves closer.

"Giants fan?" he asks.

The man looks to him, frowning.

"I don't really follow football," he replies.

Stiles nods.

"I think there's a baseball game on," he offers.

The guy shrugs and he's not particularly chatty. Stiles changes the channel anyway and receives a nod as a thank you. Stiles watches him for the next twenty minutes and the man keeps looking at his watch.

"Want another?" he asks, holding the bottle up.

The guy sighs, looks at his watch again, and then nods.

"Waiting for someone?" Stiles pries.

"Yeah," is all the answer he gives.

Stiles should probably leave him alone, but he can’t help himself.

"You from around here?" he asks.

The man frowns, but seems to relax again after taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah," he says again.

Stiles nods.

"Me too. I'm Stiles, by the way," he says.

A brow raises, which he's used to.

"Derek," the man grunts.

"So, Derek, is it business or pleasure tonight?"

"Business," he says, sipping his drink.

Stiles nods and is about to ask what he does, when the person he's been waiting for slides onto a stool. He almost drops his rag because he knows the guy.

"Stiles, how've you been?" Aidan asks.

He takes a breath and continues to wipe down the bar.

"I'm fine," he says, nodding politely.

Derek glances between them, still frowning. Of course Derek would work with this guy because that's how his life rolls.

"Can I get a drink?" Aidan asks.

Stiles smiles tightly.

"What would you like?"

"Whatever my friend here is having is fine," he replies.

Stiles glances at Derek, who's scowling so hard at the other guy it almost makes him laugh. He fixes the drink and can't help but glare at the wedding band on Aidan's finger. The guy was an ass, Stiles doesn't know what she sees in him.

"So, Derek, shall we?" he asks, pointing to a table a few feet away.

Derek huffs, but agrees.

"Oh and Stiles," Aidan calls, grinning.

Stile glares at him.

"Lydia says hi, by the way."

The glass he'd been holding thumps onto the counter and Aidan laughs. Stiles' heart is pounding and he really wants to punch this asshole in the face. He's instantly stepping around the bar, planning on doing exactly that, but Boyd holds him back. He sees Derek pulling Aidan away, who'd chuckled and taunted him to come at him. Stiles struggles for a minute, but Boyd is a mountain.

"It's not worth it, man, come on," he mutters.

Stiles and Aidan stare each other down until the former finally agrees that no, getting fired for punching this jerk isn't worth it. He backs off and his coworker tells him to cool off outside, which he does. Stiles seriously doesn’t know what Lydia sees in him. When he thinks about how this man is raising his kid-

Stiles shakes his head. She made it clear, the kid isn't his, whether that's biologically false or not. She's right though. After what happened, he doesn't deserve any rights over that child. Stiles pushes the thoughts away, counting his breathing like he'd been taught as a child. He's only out there for about ten minutes when he hears shouting from inside. Rushing back, he finds the two men in a heated argument, something about finances or fraud. Stiles can’t really follow it. What he does know is that by the end of it Aidan is in Derek's face, threatening someone named Cora and that's when Derek's fist goes flying. He gets in a few good punches before Aidan tackles him to the ground. Boyd jumps into the fray, pulling Aidan off the other. Stiles doesn't hesitate to intervene when Derek gets up for another attack, holding the man back. Derek surprisingly doesn't fight him and is visibly trying to calm down.

"If you ever go near her, I-" Derek starts.

"You'll what? What are you gonna do, Derek?" Aidan chuckles.

Stiles thinks he could do plenty, if the hard muscle he's feeling beneath Derek's sleeve is anything to go by. Derek does shake him off then, advancing on Aidan, but Boyd pulls him away and eventually shoves the guy right out the door.

Stiles glances at Derek and gently prods him to sit at the bar again and the man follows willingly. He scoops up some ice and wraps it in a dish towel.

Derek quirks a brow and Stiles says, “For your hand.”

He takes it after a few seconds, nodding a thank you.

“’Nother round?” Stiles offers.

The man sighs and glances at his watch.

“No, I should really get home,” he says, but doesn’t move to leave.

“Sorry about, you know, the fight,” he mumbles.

Stiles snorts and say, “Dude, don’t be sorry. You punched Aidan in the face. You are officially on my list of favorite people.”

Derek’s lips twitch in an almost smile, making Stiles full on grin.

“So, you a lawyer then?” he asks.

“No, I own the firm,” he replies.

“Huh,” Stiles says.

Derek nods and they’re quiet for a few minutes as Stiles cleans glasses.

“How do you know him?” Derek asks eventually.

Stiles fumbles the glass because he has no idea how to answer that.

“He, uh, well, it’s a long story,” he eventually stutters.

He looks away, not wanting to talk about it and Derek thankfully drops it. The guy takes out his wallet to pay, but Stiles tells him it’s on the house. It earns him another lip twitch and Stiles suddenly wonders what a real smile would look like.

“A tip then,” he says, sliding a bill across the counter.

Derek leaves after that and Stiles doesn’t watch him go because that would be unprofessional. He picks up the folded bill and almost chokes on air because he just got a hundred dollar tip. Not even the regulars tip that well. Derek has moved to number 3 on his list of favorite people, right after Scott and Allison.

Stiles lingers around the bar after closing and is surprised when Boyd starts chatting to him about some band they have in common. Though unexpected, it’s definitely welcome. He’d been working at this place for about 2 months and he and his new coworker really haven’t said much to each other. Apparently he’s lived in Beacon Hills his entire life, but he was home-schooled, which explains why they never met. They talk about simple things like movies, books, music, television shows, etc. After an hour there’s an awkward moment of silence and Boyd pulls out two beers, handing him one.

“No thanks,” he says, waving it off.

Boyd looks a little disappointed, making Stiles sigh and reach into his back pocket. He flips his 5 month chip onto the counter and awaits the inevitable, but Boyd surprises him again by simply nodding.

“Gotta face your problems sooner or later, right?” he murmurs.

Stiles huffs a laugh and nods in return. They part ways after that, going home to sleep after a long shift. His apartment is only a few blocks away, but he’s not stupid enough to walk it. Not in this neighborhood, not at night. He even runs across the parking lot to get to his jeep as fast as possible. There’s a chance he’s being a bit paranoid, but it’s better to be safe than sorry around here.

Derek doesn’t stop in for another week, leaving Stiles’ nights completely uneventful and boring. The night he does show, Stiles isn’t bashful about greeting him with a wide smile.

[the-dead-skwad]

Miss Lestrange Part 3 X Reader X George Weasley

Sorry it’s been a spell ;) I’ve been super busy with my new job and metal health kicking my ass. Also don’t get hung up over the spelling mistakes, my nails are so long and I always miss something out. 

Summary: It’s going to be lonely tis Christmas or so you thought. 

?!? Warning: Slight mention of self harm, Parental abuse. 

Tag : @hopeladybug​ @supernaturalidjitjess​ @til-the-end-of-the-line​

This year had gotten even crazier and it wasn’t even Christmas yet. Umbridge was terrified of you; Not long after your screaming match in her first lesson she called you to her office. She told you you were there to write lines but of course there would be a catch. As you started to write the words formed as scratches on the back of your hand. You looked up at her with her sadistic grin. You glanced back to your hand “Does the ministry approve?”

“Excuse me?” She cleared her throat.

You smiled “That’s what I thought.” You stared straight at her with a smile on your face.

“What are you?” Her grin was gone.

You put the torture quill to the parchment and started to scratch, scribbling a giant bunch of mess, never breaking eye contact.

“Stop it!” She screamed. “Get out!”

You collected your things still smiling. When you finally got to the hallway you stopped. “Owww.. merlin that hurt.” You held on to it with your other hand.

After all that she hadn’t even acknowledge you were even there. Every lesson, if she saw you in the hallways, you were invisible. It suited you fine.

I was approaching Christmas now and you just weren’t feeling it. Everyone would head back to their parents, their family’s have a really nice time and you would roam the empty halls all alone. Some kids would stay but it was no one you knew.

You went to leave the dungeons when Draco stopped you. “How you doing?”

“What do you want Draco?”

“I hear your joining the quidditch team.”

“And what if I am?”

He walked over to the table where there were two large boxes “Mother sent you these.”

“What the hell is that? I don’t need your charity.”

“It’s not charity. She was proud of you making the team, you got brand new kit and the best broom.”

“Oh…” Narcissa was the only person who had looked after you ever “Tell her thank you and that I’m sorry I can’t come home.”

“She understands.” He walked off and you took your stuff to your room.

“What’s that?” Pansy was in your dorm.

“Er Quidditch stuff.”

She pulled a face at you “How did you afford that? Aren’t you like an orphan?”

“Just because my aunt buys me things and can’t stand you doesn’t mean you have to be bitter.” You flashed her a sarcastic smile. “And besides.. my parents are very much alive.” Winking at her made her exit the room, fast.

When you left the dungeon Fred popped up out of no where. “It’s Christmas!” He shouted in your face.

“Fuck Fred! I know.. I’d like to make it to Christmas without having a heart attack.”

He laughed “Sorry, George wants to see you in the astronomy tower.”

“Okay, you know why?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Right..” You looked at him funny “A good one?”

He frowned at you “Is there bad surprises?”

“Well that heart attack you just gave me wasn’t pleasant.”

“Just go!” He pushed you forward.

--

He stood at the rail looking over the grounds. “Hey.” Your soft voice from behind him melted his heart. He turned to look at you “Hey beautiful.”

“Fred said you wanted to see me?”

He leaned in and just millimetres away from your lips he whispered “Always.” Causing your knees to almost buckle. He pulled away making you sad at the lack of contact. “I know you’re not looking forward to Christmas and I thought you could spend Christmas with us.”

You sighed “You know that’s the only thing I want to do but it’s not safe. I’m not putting your family in danger.”

“Shut up for a second.” His abruptness shocked you. “I have something for you.” He handed you a small box.

Inside was a necklace made of a chain and a beautiful crystal. “Oh George, this is stunning. What stone is this?”

“Well that’s the cool thing you see. This stone is enchanted and when wearing it anyone who uses dark magic can’t find you. It’s a protection stone.”

Your mouth dropped open. “So… so I can be with you?”

“And it gets better, I have spoken to my mum. We are staying at the Burrows to collect some things just for the first night and then we’re going to a safer location where the order meets. So you’re even safer.”

“George I don’t think you know what this means to me..” You threw your arms around his neck. “Thank you so much.”

You leaned back and looked at each other “I love you Y/N.”

“I love you George.”

--

Travelling to the burrows made you nervous at first. Every noise you heard your heart jumped. But George was there to squeeze your hand or wrap his arm around you. When you finally arrived looking up at the house your whole body relaxed. It felt like home.

“It’s no Malfoy Manor but it’s home.” Ron smiled at you though the mouth full of food he had some how found.

You smiled at them all “It’s beautiful.”

A small yelp made you jump “You’re home!” You turned to see the happiest woman covered in multi-coloured wool. She ran to the boys and hugged them. “How was the trip?” She turned to Ginny. “You all in one piece?”

“If it wasn’t for Fred’s driving.” Ginny snapped at him. He just shrugged in response.

She looked at you “Oh sweetheart!” She opened up her arms and squeezed you tight “You must be Y/N. How are you feeling deary?”

“Much better now I’m here. Your house is amazing Mrs Weasley.”

“Oh pff please call me Molly. George has told me so much about you.”

“Oh that’s not terrifying.” You could see the look in her eye. All the things she wanted to say to you but didn’t know how. You smiled and gave her a reassuring nod.

She squeezed both your hands “You must be starving.”

The food was incredible. Everyone sat there shovelling it in while all the siblings bickered. You heard Ginny from across the table “Ron I swear if you don’t put your elbows down I’ll tell Hermione you still have a blanky.”

His face turned bright red “No I don’t! And why would I care what she thinks anyway?”

You and George shared a look. Ron pointed a chicken leg at him “I saw that!”

After you had all finished you sat by the fire for a while. They all told stories from when they were children. Like George turning Ron’s chocolate into spiders or when Fred tried to hide the firework he made and blew up the toilet.

Your eyes started to get heavy. “Shall we head up?” George whispered in your ear. You nodded.

As you both walked up the stairs Fred whistled after you receiving the middle finger from you both.

You stood by his bed in just your t-shirt and shorts. He raised his eyebrows at you.

“What?” you said as you tied up your crazy hair into a loose bun.

“I’ve just never seen you like this.” His head propped up by his arm.

“What? Scruffy?”

“No!” He laughed “You know, we’ve just never been allowed in the same room alone like this.” He swung his legs off the bed and sat on the side.

You sat on his knee facing him, your knee’s either side of his legs. “You nervous Georgie?”

He placed his hand on your lower back to keep you steady. He smiled into a kiss “Far from it.”

After a few minutes of kissing you leaned back. He groaned from the lack of contact. “Sorry I gotta pee.”

“Down the stairs next to mum and dads room.”

You did an army salute as you left. The idea of him lying there in just his boxers, waiting for you. You practically leapt down the entire flight of stairs.

Leaving the toilet you could hear raised voices coming from Molly and Arthurs room. You weren’t rude enough to listen to a couples argument but then you heard your name.

“You are not listening to me Molly.”

“I am but you’re talking nonsense.”

“No I’m not.. Did you see her at the table? She can already do things without her wand!”

Hearing them talk about you in a bad way hurt you deep.

“We knew she was going to be powerful. There was no question in that. Arthur she is only a child.”

“How can you trust her? Not only is she powerful she is literally the spit of Belatrix. How can you just let her into our home?”

“You are just paranoid. George trusts her!”

“He is blinded by love! Or by a spell she put on him. I think she should leave.”

Tears started to roll down your cheeks. Maybe he was right. Maybe you should leave, you were selfish to think that you could live a normal life with someone you loved. What you thought you would get married and have children? Live a normal life? You were just kidding yourself. Prolonging the time till your mother got a hold of you again.

As you ran down the stairs you tripped over something making a right noise. You looked up the stairs as Molly Arthur and George ran to the stairs.

Tears blurred your vision as you ripped through the front door. You looked out into the vast fields around you. Without your broom there was no where to really go. Felling started to become overwhelming. You dropped to your knees and screamed. A circle of fire burst around you.

George stood in front of you the flames roaring between you. He looked down at you and noticed your hand wrapped around your necklace. “Y/N stop.. please listen to me.”

You couldn’t hear him over all the voices in your head, all the people telling you you were worthless, a bad guy, the devils daughter, nothing but a traitor, only good for wiping their feet on. You were completely unaware you were pulling on the necklace.

George knew you couldn’t take it off otherwise they would come for you. “Y/N please! Listen to my voice. Just mine.”

Slowly his voice pushed through the noise. Your breathing started to slow.

He got his arm and went to reach forward. “George!” Molly shouted “What are you doing?”

“She won’t hurt me.” He stuck his hand straight through the fire. To him it was almost cold. He stepped through and knelt down in front of you.

Him placing his hand over yours cause your eyes to burst open. “George?”

“Its me. You’re okay.”

As you fell passing out in his arms the fire disappeared. He held onto you tight. Scooping you up into his arms he walked back into the house. He placed you down on the sofa and lit the fire to keep you warm. The rest of the family stood looking at you both.

“Do you have an idea what she has been through?” He voice was sharp but not loud enough to wake you.

“All I said was that I’m not sure after everything that has happened we should trust her.” Arthur stood his ground.

“She doesn’t just burst into a circle of fire because someone doesn’t trust her. I am all she has.. Her own family want her dead and everyone else is too scared of her to even look at her. Do you know how she must feel? Her own mother almost tortured her to death.”

Arthur swallowed hard. “Maybe I was a bit harsh.”

“Maybe?” Ginny looked at him in disbelief.

Molly approached your sleeping body, she moved your hair out your face and stroked it gently. “Maybe she needs the love of a real family.”

George sat on the sofa and pulled you into his body. “That’s all she’s ever wanted.”

Molly smiled at him sweetly “And that’s what you’re going to give her?”

“That and the entire world if she wishes.”

She nodded “Then that’s what we’ll give her. This family.”

[resurrectionrpg]

Good evening, villains and victims! We’d like to kick the weekend and the opening of the roleplay off by getting to know your characters with an honesty weekend! You do not have to participate, but we would love to meet your characters, and for you to take the chance to have a little inbox fun. Please ensure your inboxes are open and your blog is not dash only.

This will go from now until Sunday at 12AM EST. If you’d like to post intros now, please do so! Otherwise we expect intros by Monday. 

We have some memes and starters under the cut, but please feel free to reblog whatever you’d like!

                                 DIALOGUE/SENTENCES

VICTIM → VICTIM

❝ I dreamed about this guy [ player insert ]. ❞

❝ What’d he look like? You get a look at him? ❞

❝ Well then how can you say somebody else was there? ❞

❝ You could just see the cuts happening, all at once. ❞

❝ What do you mean all at once? ❞

❝ I probably could’ve saved her if I’d moved sooner. ❞

❝ There was this guy who had knives for fingers. ❞

❝ You’ll feel better as soon as you sleep. ❞

❝ You better tell me, cause now he’s after me! ❞

❝ Feel better?! You call this feeling better? ❞

❝ Avoid everything happening to me by just getting good and loaded. ❞

❝ He can’t get you because mommy killed him. ❞

❝ I take back every bit of energy I ever gave you. ❞

❝ Do you have any idea what that means? ❞

❝ She’s already fucked up, so leave her alone. ❞

❝ What? What are you talking about? ❞

❝ Just don’t fall asleep. If you die in your dreams, you die for real. ❞

❝ You think you can bring the dead back to life? ❞

❝ He brought us here so we could remember what he did to us. ❞

❝ I want you to go straight up to bed, okay? ❞❝ He’s not after us because we lied - He’s after us because we told the truth. ❞

❝  You know what they say, kemosabe, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn.   ❞

❝ We’re gonna be in here a long time. ❞

❝ There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about that night. ❞

❝ Where did you hear that? ❞

❝ So what did you do? Did you call the police? ❞

❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞

❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞

❝   You must’ve known it all had to end somewhere - might as well be now.  ❞

❝ Next time, we go someplace else. ❞

❝   This is crazy, sitting here and waiting to be attacked.  ❞

❝  I told you already, I don’t why they let me go! They just did.  ❞

❝  Sometimes I can still see their face whenever I close my eyes.  ❞

❝ Grab anything that might make a good weapon. ❞

❝ Somebody should make a run for the car. ❞

❝ No, no, no! We can’t go out there! ❞

❝ Come on, it’s the only way. ❞

❝ Whoever’s the fastest runner, who is that? ❞

VILLAIN → VICTIM

❝ We weren’t hunting, we were protecting you! ❞

❝ You’ll understand how it feels to never fail to protect them. ❞

❝  You know what they say, kemosabe, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn.   ❞

❝  Oh, don’t you cry! I’ve killed a million times before.  ❞

❝ Did you know…that after the heart stops beating, the brain keeps functioning for over 7 minutes? ❞

❝   I ain’t no fucking clown.   ❞

❝ Ooh, sounds fun, but it’s a little fast for me. ❞

❝ I’m your boyfriend now, ______. ❞

❝ It hurts, doesn’t it? That’s because you’re in my world now, bitch! ❞

❝ I had to keep you awake long enough so when you finally slept, you’d never wake up again. ❞

❝ We’re gonna be in here a long time. ❞

❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞

❝   Do you really think I give a fuck?  ❞

❝  what’s the pointing in kidnapping if you aren’t going to do any killing?  ❞

❝  i usually like to get to know my victims a little before i kill them.  ❞

❝   I’m not crazy; I’m in control!  ❞

❝   I’m not here to brighten your dismal day; I am here to end your miserable life.  ❞

❝  You may think this is a one time thing but I promise, I will kill again.  ❞

❝  Come out, come out, wherever you are! You can’t hide from me forever!  ❞

❝  there’s no turning back now! there’s no one coming for you, except for me!  ❞

❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞

❝   You must’ve known it all had to end somewhere - might as well be now.  ❞

❝   You can all count yourselves lucky you got fucked by the best!  ❞

❝   In exactly one hundred and twenty seconds, we shall begin.  ❞

❝   All you have to do is survive twelve hours.  ❞

❝   What I do? Unfortunately for you, I do real well!  ❞

❝   I am certainly not here to elicit an amused response.  ❞

❝   Murder school is now in session.  ❞

❝  you know what they say, once a killer, always a killer.  ❞

❝   I am here to end your miserable fucking life.  ❞

❝   I’m sending you straight to the fucking pearly gates with a first class ticket.  ❞

❝   I came to get down and dirty. Oh yeah.  ❞

❝   Look what the fucking cat dragged in!  ❞

❝   Death has come to sing it’s quite song, run and hide for it won’t belong!  ❞

❝   Is it hunting time now?  ❞

❝   I guess I should really put you out of your misery.  ❞

❝  You can run but you can’t hide! I’m going to find you and kill you!  ❞

❝  See, I’ve stalked you for sometime before finally snatching you up!  ❞

❝  I didn’t want to kill you when I brought you here, but now, I have no choice!  ❞

❝ I’m gonna kill your whole fucking family.  ❞

❝ I want you to see what happens to heroes…  ❞

GENERAL

❝ I didn’t want you to remember! I wanted you to forget! ❞

❝ I didn’t want to remember! I wanted to forget! ❞

❝ They’re…they’re repressed memories, from a terrible, terrible time. ❞

❝ There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about that night. ❞

❝ You said that… You said that we didn’t know each other. ❞

❝ Don’t pretend you don’t know, because you do. ❞

❝ Your mind was just playing tricks on you. ❞

❝ He kept repeating it over and over again.. ❞

❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞

❝   There’s only four things you need to know about this career.   ❞

❝   Do you really think I give a fuck?  ❞

❝   I always thought I’d appear rather pretentious with a pipe.  ❞

❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞

❝   You diggin’ what you see, pops?  ❞

❝   I mean no disrespect, but was not the question.  ❞

❝   See you later, Popeye! I’m gonna go get me some spinach.  ❞

❝   I don’t wanna be here! They make me be here!  ❞

❝   You and me, we’re the same! We’re the same!  ❞

❝    What the fuck is going on? Do you see anything?  ❞

❝   Look what the fucking cat dragged in!  ❞

❝   I’m so flattered you remember me.  ❞

❝   Don’t worry, ______.  It’s always somebody’s fault.  ❞

❝  Do you think that this killer is working all alone?  ❞

❝  How hard is it to catch a killer? ❞ ❝  I don’t want you out at night in this town, roaming around.  ❞

❝  I can’t believe they’re withholding information about that murder.  ❞

❝  Wait, you mean you don’t know? Do you live under a rock?  ❞

❝  I can’t believe I’m still living in this fucking town.  ❞

❝  Why are you so paranoid and scared all of a sudden? It’s just the police.  ❞

❝  Ever since this recent murder, you’ve been super paranoid.  ❞

❝  Please, hurry back!! I’m afraid I might not ever seen you again when you leave.  ❞

❝ Man she really fucked him up good huh? ❞

❝ I knew you were into some sketchy shit! ❞

❝ This wasn’t a random attack! Our family’s being targeted. ❞

❝ Why would anybody do this? ❞

❝ Oh my god, what is happening to us? ❞

❝ I don’t see anyone. Do you see anyone? ❞

❝ Why are you calling me a low life? I’m just trying to help the situation. ❞

❝ What you just said. What was that? ❞

❝ Is there something else you wanted to say to me? ❞

❝ I can’t believe you’re in on this. ❞

❝ Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?  ❞

❝ What the fuck is your problem?  ❞

❝ Here’s the list of names I need you to run down for me.  ❞

❝ That’s a funny-ass name.  ❞

❝ If you want special favors you gotta give me something in return.  ❞

❝  I tried to walk the line but now I realize there is no line.  ❞

❝ I can’t fucking wait! You want it? Here it is, come and get it.  ❞                                

                                       SYMBOLS/GAMES

SEND  💋 FOR MY MUSE TO REVEAL A SECRET

SEND ¿ FOR A MEMORY MY MUSE HAS (optional: OF ___)

SEND MY MUSE “👀 + A QUESTION” AND THEY’LL HAVE TO ANSWER WITH 100% HONESTY

SEND  ✄ FOR A FAVORITE MOVIE OF MY MUSES

SEND  ✚ FOR ONE OF MY MUSE’S MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS

SEND  ✿ FOR A HAPPY MEMORY MY MUSE HAS

SEND ♬ FOR A CHILDHOOD HEADCANON

SEND  ☼ FOR A DREAM HEADCANON

SEND  ✜ FOR A FEAR HEADCANON

SEND ☠ FOR A DEATH HEADCANON

SEND ◊ FOR A HEADCANON OF MUN’S CHOOSING

SEND  ♤ FOR SOMETHING MY MUSE DISLIKES OR HATES

SEND  ★ FOR A TALENT HEADCANON

SEND  △ FOR A SEX HEADCANON

SEND  ⊗ FOR SOMETHING MY MUSE HAS A PHOBIA OF

SEND  ⭐️ AND I WILL GIVE A FACT ABOUT MY MUSE

SEND [BRAGGART] FOR MY MUSE TO BRAG ABOUT THEMSELVES

SEND  👀 FOR MY MUSE TO TALK ABOUT THE ONE THING OTHERS HAVE THAT THEY DON’T

SEND [ENVIOUS] TO FIND OUT WHAT MY MUSE GETS JEALOUS OVER

SEND [VENT] FOR MY MUSE TO RANT ABOUT SOMETHING/THAT GETS THEM RILED UP

SEND [CHILL] TO FIND OUT HOW MY MUSE CALMS DOWN

SEND [RELAX] TO FIND OUT HOW MY MUSE RELAXES

SEND  💏 TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S FIRST KISS

SEND 👶 TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S CHILDHOOD

SEND [FAMILIAL] TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR FAMILY

                                   QUESTIONS/DEVELOPMENT

Do you hurt people without consideration?

Does it ever get tiring, keeping so many secrets?

Are you scared of letting others help you?

Do you jump so quickly into relationships only to leave just as quick?

Do you need other people’s approval?

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you not think you’re worth more?

Do you like to feel broken or have you just learned to live with the pain?

Are you afraid of your flaws?

Do you fake your confidence so people can’t see how self-conscious you truly are?

Have you ever stopped to think how others feel when you leave them behind because you got bored?

Do you claim to be innocent when you are guilty of much pain and abuse?

Can you live independently?

Do you jump into relationships before you are even aware of what love is?

Do you ever take responsibility for your own actions?

Do other people’s opinions matter much to you?

Do you have to win every argument you get into?

Will you ever be able to fully show another person your flaws and insecurities and realize they still love you?

Do you see emotions as a vulnerability?

Are you so proud and mighty that you must go through life without ever letting others help you?

Are you incapable of realizing you aren’t perfect?

Do you try hard to make sure nobody ever finds out who you really are?

Does your social appearance dictate how you live your life?

Do you think you are only worth love if you conceal your true self?

Do you hide your loneliness behind your humor?

Do you expect people to be honest with you?

Do you expect people to be honest with you, even if you lie and deceive them?

Do you have to one-up people every single chance you get?

Do you ever take other people’s feelings into consideration?

How narcissistic are you?

Do you need to be better than everyone?

Is it hard for you to express your emotions to others?

Do you let others walk all over you?

Will you ever let other people see who you truly are?

[tslasvegas]

Finale Episode: “This has been AMAZING.” - Pat

Drama? Caused. Immunity? Mine. (hopefully) Maybe I should've just voted Liv to cause a super messy re-vote but this was an okay outcome I suppose. Now I just need to win immunity OR convince Keegan and Pat to vote with me for one more round. :) Balls to the fucking wall. I'm here to win. 

So final 6 tribal council was a bit of a shitstorm. But I’m still here so it turned out not too bad and Kailyn, the one person I’ve basically never talked to got the boot. Pat played an idol I didn’t know he had, Jaiden played a legacy advantage on himself and Livingston played an idol on me. Bless his heart. Liv is the best. If I can’t win he absolutely deserves to. And now we have a stupid endurance type challenge that requires 6 hours of dedication and I don’t want to do it, because I feel like I could make better use of my day tomorrow but whatever. We’ll see what happens. I would ideally love to have Jeff gone next, and then Jaiden. If it’s a final 2, I’m going with Liv, whether or not he beats me I don’t care. There’s a case to be made for taking Pat out instead of Jaiden. But we shall see how this challenge goes.

....five seconds later

I hate this challenge

....five seconds later

Why'd this challenge have to be 6 hours? I get that we're at final 5 but man this is awful. Sorry Dan, Sorry Jake but I hate this challenge. 

Okay so I don't really remember when the last time I gave a confessional was. So we're just gonna cover the Xavier tribal and hope I didn't already do that lol. This tribal was extremely good for my game, and along with likely the John/Super Idol tribal, will be the time I use as my defining moment in the game, as it shows that I wasn't entirely reliant on Jaiden to get me places, because that seems like the most likely argument against me winning. I could very well see people coming in with a preconceived notion that I was in some way carried by Jaiden, or the fact that I'm alive is because of him. This tribal, where Jaiden thought he could take me out since he knew what the vote count would be with my vote steal, is evidence of that. Luckily for me, I had one more card up my sleeve with the extra vote. And this is why no matter how much you may trust someone, always have an ace in the hole. But on top of that, blowing nearly every advantage in the game, while also being vulnerable at that tribal, is about the best that things could've gone for me. It shows that despite voting out Joey, I still had the trust of Keegan and Liv, and it shows that I had plenty of my own agency in the game. With the next challenge being a logic puzzle, I was not feeling confident going into it. I'm alright at them, not notably great, but when I was practicing, the average times there were something like ~2-3 minutes, which I was just not able to match the pace of. But I did the challenge, and managed to pull off a clean 4 minute time, plenty to spare to win the challenge which I was happy about. This also gave me some breathing room after being to close to going home for comfort. Going into the next tribal, I do know that I have to be wary of Jaiden. The way he talks about him having received legacy from Xavier, saying that Xavier went home with an idol, a lot of his actions there were very sus and I know that I can't take everything at face value. Because of this, I decided to take advantage of being immune, and tried to get Liv on board for a potential F3 of Pat/Him/Me. The caveat would be that Keegan goes home here, just because he has strong potential of winning challenges, which is very true. Liv seemed skeptical, and said he'd sleep on it, which really should've been my first inclination that something is wrong. But I asked him again the next day, and he said "he was open to it". That should've been strike 2, and I'll admit, I was being a little over confident. At that point, Jaiden starts talking to me and is really paranoid about things going wrong, acting like he's going to get voted out. But he insists he has legacy, so everything is fine. I'm just letting him be paranoid, but I also explain that if he's not going to be straightforward with me about what he's thinking for tribal, I'm not particularly interested in exploring possibilities that can hardly be considered possibilities. Come tribal, and what do you know, Jaiden was right. 2 idols and a legacy get played, and Kailyn goes home. Which even if a roundabout way, is what I intended on happening if Keegan had had an idol, so I was not upset about the outcome at all. This also works to my advantage, because it gives Jaiden an "I told you so" moment, and should make him be more confident in going to FTC with me, should I lose these immunities. I just need to get to FTC and I can tell a great story on why I should win. Making it there is the hardest part though

Really gonna go 6 hours posting every 5 minutes. I hate this.

General thoughts on how I think end game should play out from my perspective: My main reasoning for why I think I’ll win though, is just who my alternatives are. Liv won’t win the game. Too small of a player, too defensive of moves. Could be considered an underdog, but in general not pulling much. Keegan, probably too quiet, and like Liv, too defensive. The ideal “contrarian” candidate though, due to general likability and not really doing anything wrong. Pat, should in theory be a budget version of me. From what Jaiden says, he’s less social than me, although admittedly, my social game has fallen off hard throughout the end. It’s difficult to keep up so much though when I don’t have a life to speak of for myself. Jaiden, the clear other option, at least from my perspective. Had had many failed moves, not always a clear direction on what he’s doing or where he’s going, could be seen as second fiddle to me. I think that FTC would mostly come down to, in a me vs Jaiden scenario, which of us people see as the second to each other. People could take my survival as due to Jaiden keeping me safe, but Jaiden calling the shots. People could take me as being the one really in the middle, controlling moreso how each vote turned out. Personally I think the thinking in my favor is more likely/reasonable, but Jaiden has the personality that people will want to support as well. If jury is more game oriented, I probably win. If they aren’t, Jaiden may come out on top. 

I feel like this is my Tumblr Survivor breakthrough. I finally made it to the final four. The finale episode. I'm not on the jury quite yet. The end is so close I can literally taste it. But my work isn't done just yet. With Jeff gone, I oddly feel a lot of weight lifted off my shoulders and I can finally breathe again. It wasn't the primary or even secondary plan I had going into this, but if I want a chance to win this game, I have to take care of him first. It also seemed as though there was an opportunity for me to create a little chaos in the event that this game becomes a final two instead of a F3. People are going to want to cut me at the first chance they get I think, but now that it's a F2 they can hold it off one more vote, no? I tried to plant a seed into Pat's head that Livingston and Keegan are a tight duo and while we could totally get rid of Keegan tonight, we could do Livingston instead and have better odds at the F4 because Keegan/Jeff are going to be laser-focused on going after each other. But then Pat went and told Jeff everything in the chat we have together so I flipped it around and made Pat responsible for going after Livingston. So now I go back to Keegan and tell him that Pat was doing whatever it took to keep Jeff safe and that I was the person keeping Pat on focus to get rid of Jeff. It became way more logical after Pat started throwing Liv's name out there for real for me to get rid of Jeff, because either Pat votes Liv and looks like a fucking shady bitch in the F4, OR Pat votes Jeff with me and we share the blame for getting rid of Jeff equally. Keegan owes me - I just saved him from getting voted out. I could've easily voted out Keegan tonight! I could've left two guaranteed votes in his direction but I didn't. Pat owes me - I convinced him the necessary moves and walked him through two big plans heading into tribal, but I kept him up to date on what he wants. At the end of it, he still begged me to tell him what we needed to do - he flipped back to Liv and then told me, then begged me to tell him what he should do, and I told him to do Jeff. He voted correctly because of me. Livingston owes me - As far as he needs to know, Pat and Jeff were going to vote his ass out of here with me had I not turned Pat's vote back and kept Keegan on close watch. Livingston and I have a decent relationship, but I've now saved him more times than I've voted against him (again, as far as he knows) and that's gotta count for something. This season wasn't about making best friends. It was about winning Tumblr Survivor, so yes, I've backstabbed along the way and voted people out mercilessly. But if I make it to the final two, I kept it real with the friends I made along the way but also put my game first. I feel like I can justify that because I made it this far without anybody ever writing my name down and everything I've done, whether its voting out Kailyn or using the powers of suggestion to drive a deeper wedge between Pat and everyone else, has had a bigger purpose than just surviving one more day. It has felt like a huge house of cards up until this point. I didn't play the simplistic "speaks for itself" game that I wanted in the beginning. Instead, I am going to have to justify every single move if I even make it to the final two. It's crazy. I expected to go home tonight had I not won immunity, and now I'm expecting to go home every night until I reach the finish, but like I said there's no more stress now. I'm fully galvanized here. I've been through the worst of the worst, now all I have to do is close my eyes, exhale, and let go. If I can pull off just two more challenges, I think I'm going to be the winner. You know, it's funny, I didn't come into this experience wanting to play a perfect game. It's so.. unrealistic especially with the type of game that I play, but it might happen? I'm not entirely sure. It would be such a good gift to me on my birthday if I do it because its looking like the FTC will happen on my birthday so umm.. Tumblr Survivor gods I know I've been praying to you a lot this season, but truly, please let that happen LOL

So Jaiden won immunity which is fine. Because Jeff didn’t win and that is all that matters at this point. So after some discussion and some Jaiden freaking the absolute fuck out, we ended up unanimously voting out Jeff. And for some odd reason, Jeff decided to switch a vote from me to Livingston. So I currently only have one vote against me and it was blocked by an idol. Yahoo!! I am in a very precarious situation at this point. Liv and I have a final 2 deal. Jaiden and I have a final 2 deal. Liv and I also agreed to vote out Jaiden in 4th place once Jeff was out. So.... I’m actually hoping that Jaiden wins this next immunity challenge so that can’t happen. And at that point we just vote out Pat and everything is good. That’s the absolute best case scenario at this point because it guarantees I make the final 2 regardless of who actually wins the final challenge. And believe me, if that’s the case I’m throwing the challenge LOL Liv will take me. Jaiden will take me. Why should I win? So yeah, fingers crossed that Jaiden wins this Cards Against Humanity game so we can have the best case scenario happen in this game. 

JEFF IS VOTED OUT AT F5

If I don't go home tonight I will be completely shocked

JAIDEN IS VOTED OUT AT F4

Final 3! One more challenge to go! And I win a fire making challenge. Suck on that! Also don’t come to my DMs whining that I voted for you when you voted for me too. And we’re just playing your game? Honey, you wouldn’t have had a game without us there. There’s this thing called threat level management. Learn it some time. Glad us three undeserving Palazzo members are the final 3. Time to win this final immunity challenge.

Y'all really thought my extra ass wasn't going to write one last confessional? Yeah right! This is probably the last one I'll ever write in a main season so let's make it good. First things first, some acknowledgements. I want to scream this from a mountain top, I really am just so thankful for the opportunity to play and Jake and Dan have my whole heart forever for giving it to me. I can't thank them enough and I really think this will be a positive experience that I hold in my heart forever. So yeah!! If you're reading this (but who is, really?) just know that Dan and Jake are KINGS!!! I also want to acknowledge how lucky I am to have gotten to where I was in this game, because luck did have a lot to do with all of this. I know that my game might not have been as good as it could've been in particular moments and maybe I boxed myself in at the end in a couple different ways, but luck always found a way to get me out of some sticky spots and I am humble enough to admit it. After I got voted out, I wasn't particularly upset with myself because I knew that if I didn't win the immunity, I'd be going out in this spot. I'm surprised that I had to make fire, but I wish that I had spent some time learning how to do slide puzzles really quick because honestly my performance in it was pathetic. Either way, not mad about it, that's just how the cookie crumbled and I probably would've lost to Livingston, too. The relief to all of this is that I got to join the jury full of people that I genuinely wanted to talk to again because I didn't have anybody left in the game that I particularly found great interest communicating with anymore. Keegan treating me like I didn't just spend my valuable time actually being his only friend was probably the lowest moment of the entire game for me. I wasn't even mad that I was losing as much as I was mad that he lied to my face when I confronted him with the truth, then called me a bitch because I told him I would have kept my word to him had he not tried to take me out. For me, that was fucking awful. The petty side of me wants to make final tribal particularly awful for Keegan, but the new and improved side of me wants to just tell him off and let him lose like about a thousand other Tumblr Survivor flops have over the past several years. When I came into this game, I didn't fully expect myself to make it as far as I did and have really had this gigantic transformation like I did. At the same time though, I'm not surprised that I did because I was living the transformation for like two years since I last showed my face in this community. The Jaiden seen in Las Vegas is the Jaiden that I'm finally in love with. It's the player that I've never been stable enough to be for almost five years now, and I am so proud to say that now. Without a doubt, I dominated this season. I know that. So many outcomes went the way that I had set them up, from getting rid of Stephanie to Joey handing me the legacy advantage. Even when they didn't go my way, I didn't become the next big target even though I said I was going home literally every single tribal since the beginning. There's a lot more gamewise that I could say, but I know Dan and Jake are aware of that and they're probably the only people even reading this now. So I guess that part will just stay between me and them. When I made my entrance to the jury, I was a little surprised to see such an overwhelmingly positive response from people like Kailyn, Joey, John, Xavier, and Andrew. It made me feel so validated as a player, a feeling that I have literally never had before in my whole entire time playing these games. It's so great how much that boosted my real-life confidence. After being part of the org community for like seven years by now, I've been able to separate the real world with the online world pretty well, but while devastating losses in the past haven't truly rocked my real world much, this positive reception will have a lasting impact on me for a really long time. I can't say how much it all means to me, because it's so profound and I can't explain it all in words. It just makes me feel optimistic despite being a chronic pessimist. Phew! Although I'm not the winner that I should've been, I am truly proud of myself. I feel like I've finally rolled that fucking stone ball up the hill and thrown it down the mountain on the other side, letting it tumble and kill my enemies on its way down. I think I came into this thinking that I was Sisyphus, but by now I've realized that I'm actually Kratos, the divine personification of strength and power. So maybe my story of never feeling complete from these silly games was never the problem I was looking to solve. My journey was about finding the strength and power I never knew that I had before. The confidence of being able to be at my lowest in games and real life, and somehow finding my way out of the darkness of both realms in tandem. I am basically living in the golden hour of my 23rd year of life, and this game just happened to take part in the midst of that. Good and bad, I am so thankful to have had these experiences shape what this period meant to me. I am living in a world now where the truth is that I am worthy. Not only because of this silly game, but like I said, the confidence gained here affirms that truth. I will never forget it. I'm not at all a religious person, but there's one verse in the Bible that I've always felt drawn to, and more so right now than ever before. John 8:32 - "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." And now, with this last confessional to wrap my journey up, I am free. 

LIVINGSTON IS VOTED OUT AT F3. 

This is it. This is the end. I’ve done everything I can do and now it’s up to the jury to decide. This game was a blast, a true gamble actually playing. I’m proud of what I’ve done and how far I made it. I’m no longer a 5 time flop! 

I cannot believe this season had the end game that it did. Winning final immunity was a check off my bucket list, but getting there how I did was very well done in my opinion. I really hope that’s it’s respected by the jury. It’s nerve racking when the other person winning is valid. I hope o shows my impact on the end part of the game being influential enough to get votes. I may have been messy by being incorrect but I think I did well over all. I just want Jeff to know that that his vote off was really the hardest of the season. I hope lulu really was a benefit to me winning by making a final appearance. Queen lulu. Honestly no matter what happens I am so proud of myself. I know I’m getting at least one vote so that’s means good things, if I win this game I will be ecstatic because it’s been five years since I entered this whole community through tumblr survivor. I hope my game is respected and that I am to be rewarded. Thanks everyone for an amazing game this has been AMAZING 

[ofstrikcrs]

heyo what’s poppin ! it’s me, hannah !  i’m 20 n vibin in the est. my pronouns r we/them/boys but she/her work as well djskfsmd n i’m currently #unemployed BUT i am a full time student... majoring in dumb bitch theory n loving my gf n i’m at the top of my class baby...... :’) ANYWAY. i’m back again w a ( hopefully ) more condensed version of the infamous google doc(s) STRIKER KIM? MORE LIKE STRIKE ME IN THE HEART I LOVE U BITCH so that u dont all have to read the monstrosity that is my app ( but like, if u wanna... u can find it right HERE ) 

n without further ado... let’s kick it !

this is striker, he’s 28 ( soon to b 29 #ariesculture ) n he’s very complicated.. very complicated.... 

his mom cherry kim ( nee corallo ) is the daughter of lorenzo corallo, renowned filmmaker. daphne had a stint in acting in her youth as well but ending up withdrawing from the spotlight once she married his dad.

his dad is warren kim, business man

what kind of business you ask ? well..

let us rewind a little bit, shall we? now if you know anything about the ins and outs of organized crime in new york city, the name corallo might sound *eyes emoji* familiar to you. giovanni corallo was a boss of the lucchese crime family until his arrest and… you guessed it… that means our man lorenzo corallo is a man of the mafia !

lorenzo, however, wasn’t a first-born son which also meant he wasn’t an heir in any way shape or form and was free to do his thing you know BUT when it came time to arrange marriage for his one and only daughter, cherry, it was Expected of him to keep it in the family 

enter the kim family, who had been loyal to the lucchese family for as long as they’d been in america and had built up quite a reputation for themselves in the family, so it was just a natural choice to marry off cherry to their son, warren

they had two kids! their first-born son, dagger, and their second-son…. STRIKER !

and, as in all mafia stories, there is no better prize than the benefits reaped from die-hard loyalty, so in addition to getting to marry a corallo girl… a series of unfortunate events ( i.e. some deaths and arrests ) led to the promotion from right-hand man to acting boss of none other than our very own warren kim

now being the child of an acting mob boss is stressful, but being the second-son of an acting mob boss is… slightly less stressful. see, cherry stepping Out of the spotlight was a strategic move on her own part but was entirely her own decision which meant that striker was free to choose the exact opposite

with no real mafia-related responsibilities or expectations ( other than keeping his mouth SHUT ) on his shoulders, he was more or less… free to roam however he wanted and as he’s always had a taste for the finer things in life, there’s no real surprise that he chose to follow his mother’s side of the family and became nothing short of a socialite in new york city 

which.. despite what the press says abt our #mans striker kim ( i.e. being a billionaire playboy, irresponsible, reckless, wild, etc. ) he’s smart n his main motivation for heading straight for the spotlight is bc every person who falls in love w him is part of a complex and expansive insurance policy that makes it that much harder for the mafia to make him Disappear, u know ?

this is one of the reasons why striker and dagger never Really not along, though striker’s always had this theory that dagger was built for nothing but the mafia anyway bc he’s straight up one of the meanest, cruelest,  most RUTHLESS people that striker has ever met. but, like, with a name like dagger… how could you not be?

things really start getting #Complicated for striker when he’s ABOUT to graduate from college and his dad yeets this mortal coil in a Shocking Tragic Unexpected death ! it doesn’t really affect striker all that much bc striker spent a lot of his life living with his grandfather in the city but… rather when his father dies it’s dagger that ascends into the role of acting boss and BOY OH BOY that’s nothing but trouble for striker 

dagger gets striker roped right back into the mafia that he worked his whole life to try n get out of.. just like that. sad.

and because striker is… como se dice…. a stubborn shithead with a penchant for the dramatics, he starts looking for a way to make his brothers life absolute hell because! yes! striker IS the person who fucks with the mafia! what a moron!

for a good few years it was just minor stuff, nothing really consequential, but that gets boring very quickly bc ... u know ... it is what it is 

ANYWAY. he really finds his in to what’s going to make dagger kim’s life HELL and that is getting himself involved in a little heist group. there are only so many events that striker can show his face that end with a robbery of some sort before it starts to become suspicious, and it doesn’t take a genius to connect the kim family to the corallo family to the lucchese family. it’s just enough to keep people talking but not enough to actively incriminate himself. and as long as he’s not publicly throwing the lucchese family under the bus, he’s still, by all accounts, insured by the mafia as the son of warren kim.

anyway! enough w the backstory! here’s some fun lil personality n headcanon stuff :’)

first and foremost.. he does have a face tatoo. ( and an eyebrow piercing and yes i have photos of both if u want to see them )  it’s of a crown on his left cheek and he   got it within a week of his father dying and dagger forcing him to come back into   the mafia to Assert His Dominance n show dagger he was still in charge of his own   goddamn decisions so fuck you dagger

dagger punched him in the face for getting the tattoo and he had a black eye for two weeks but you win some you lose some

on the surface? rich kid asshole!!! rich RICH kid asshole!!! you know the kind of guy you take one ( 1 ) look at him and you’re like yeAh u absolutely think that ur better than me ? that’s him 

does he rly think he’s better than u? unclear.. depends on who u are... i already have some thots abt who striker wld dislike hmu tho aha x

fluent in english ofc n also korean and italian, his primary language is lit rally a jumble of korean and italian tht nobody can understand but like.. him n dagger n his dad ( rip ) n he also knows a little spanish and japanese.

he’s afraid of horses but will never admit it

he loves to bet!!! he loves it!!! it’s probably from growing up in a family where making bets on things was a major source of income but he will 100000% place bets on anything there is to place bets on and will rope as many people into his betting pools as possible

he hasn’t had his gay awakening yet isn’t that tragic??  turns out the mafia ISN’T a very lgbt friendly place, who would have thought?? so that’s absolutely something that’s going to happen bc we know that i love to make my characters suffer esp when it’s related to their attraction to someone whew…

he’s somehow both the biggest gossip and the most secretive person that you’ll ever meet??? like he’s an instigator n will make offhanded comments abt what he’s observed other ppl doing recently that he thinks are… inch resting… and you’ll have this long ass conversation w him and not realize until like 2 hours later that he didn’t say one ( 1 ) thing abt himself the entire time

you know how finnick from the hunger games used to get paid for things w secrets??? that’s so striker to the core… like you can’t buy him or bribe him bc baby has $$$ and is so disinterested in the glitz and glamor of fast cars and expensive drinks and whatnot, so if you really want him to do something for him… you’re going to have to trade him some secrets… n that’s that on that!

he doesn’t like to take his shirt off around ppl bc #scars ( predominantly the large letter L that’s branded on his chest but there are some others that i haven’t decided on yet ) anyway he does not partake in the pool parties n as explanation has just always  told everyone that he doesn’t know how to swim… n he’ll die w that lie, thank u !

very paranoid... has 2 different phones w his contacts n codes.. folds his clothes a certain way so he can know if someone touched his stuff... has a fun in a safe under his bed that he changes the passcode to regularly.... he also has some ocd but a lot of it is #trauma

im sry there r so many points here i .. rly tried to trim them down n there are like 300% more in my app but.. whew... ok

i’m going to stop now but pls.. pls plot w me i beg ok thank u bye

[mst3kproject]

802: The Leech Woman - Part I

I tend to get all social-justice-y on this blog, so it will probably come as a surprise to you that I kinda like this movie.  I won’t pretend for a moment that The Leech Woman is not stupid and offensive, but something about it absolutely fascinates me.

Dr. Paul Talbot, an endocrinologist, is searching for a cure for Old.  This is at least partly because it will make him ludicrously rich, but also because his wife June has turned forty and he’s no longer attracted to her.  An old woman, Malla, tells the Talbots that her people, the Nando, know the secret of renewed youth.  They therefore follow her to Fake Africa where they learn that the Cure for Old has two ingredients: the pollen of a rare orchid, and a human pineal gland, scooped from a still-living brain.  Is June willing to commit murder in order to be young and beautiful again?  You bet your sweet booty she is!

I was kind of surprised when my word processor didn’t underline ‘Nando’.  I googled it, and apparently Nando’s is a South African restaurant famous for their ‘Peri-Peri Chicken.’  You learn something every day.

This movie is gross on so many levels.  It hates everybody.  Its ‘Africans’ are primitive mystics in loincloths and skull headdresses, its women are domineering and predatory, its men abusers, criminals, and dull-ass ciphers. I hardly know where to start.  In fact, the badness of The Leech Woman is so complex and pervasive that I think we’ve got another multi-part series here.  In this review, I’m going to talk about the characters.  Next week, I’ll go on to other stuff.

The Leech Woman is, of course, not the first movie I’ve watched in which there is no hero… but I’m not just talking about this being another film in which the so-called ‘hero’ doesn’t do anything.  This is more like The Amazing Transparent Man in that there is literally nobody in the film who can be described as ‘good’.  It’s not a movie about good overcoming evil, it’s a movie about evil destroying itself.  That’s probably part of the reason why I find it so interesting, as it’s an unusual way to approach a narrative, and The Leech Woman shows an astonishing amount of commitment to it.  We’ve seen a number of movies on MST3K where the good guys really aren’t important but there’s still somebody, usually a dull cop or reporter, who theoretically fills that role.  The Leech Woman doesn’t even have one of those.

Let’s take a look at our cast, shall we?  We’ve basically got six important characters: Paul and June Talbot, David the jungle guide, Malla, Neil the lawyer, and Neil’s fiancée Sally.  I think I’ll start with the men.  They’re all terrible.

The first character who speaks is Paul, and the first thing he says is to insult his wife, sneering at her about her drinking.  The conversation that follows tells us not only that they hate each other, but that Paul seems to have married June primarily so he could experiment on her, and is pissed that she doesn’t want to let him.  Then while June is hurt, drunk, and vulnerable, he goes from insulting her to fawning over her, softening her up so that he can return to emotionally abusing her later.  When, on the trip to Africa, she accuses him of ignoring her, he tells her she’s imagining it.  He’s also deeply unprofessional at work, insulting and scoffing at Malla when she’s there in response to his request for research subjects.

Of course, Paul is a villain in this story.  We’re glad to see him go, and the nice irony of him not living to see June rejuvenated is one of the few things The Leech Woman does right.  His detestable traits are so cartoonishly overblown, though, that it’s really hard to take him seriously as a character.  Paul comes across more than anything else as a plot device, a necessary stepping stone for June to come into contact with the Nando and their youth pollen.  Once he’s served that purpose he’s no longer needed.  Nobody misses him, and June never shows the slightest trace of regret, immediately attaching herself to David instead.

David starts off seeming like a slightly better person than Paul, since he treats June like a human being and attempts to offer her some actual comfort after she fights with her husband.  Then he goes steadily downhill.  He steals the youth pollen and the ring at a moment when he should be worrying about them getting out of there alive, and then when June ages again, he not only refuses to give them to her, he runs away.  I guess he’s supposed to do this because he realizes he’s the only person around she could tap for pineal juice, but at this point we have no evidence that she’s willing to do that.  She didn’t even watch while the Nando killed Paul.  Instead, it looks for all the world like David runs because he’s physically repulsed by her, or because he’s afraid she’s going to infect him with Old.

Finally, there’s Neil.  I think we’re supposed to like Neil… I think we’re supposed to see him as a nice guy destroyed by a scheming woman, but the truth is that Neil destroys himself.  The moment he sees young June, in her disguise as ‘Terri’, come up to him, he throws all decency out the window and practically follows her around drooling for the rest of the movie.  When his fiancée points out, understandably, that this is unacceptable behaviour, he treats her exactly as Paul had treated June, telling her that she’s imagining things. All these things stack up against us liking Neil, and he displays no redeeming qualities to offset then… in fact, other than being easily led by his dick, he has no qualities at all.  He’s a cardboard cutout with ‘handsome guy’ written on it.

Of course, none of these men are a point-of-view character in the story. The Leech Woman is a story about women, so how about them?  Well, unsurprisingly they’re terrible too.  Malla uses the Talbots to get her back to Africa and then tries to have them killed, and clearly has no problem with the whole ‘a man must die to make her young’ thing.  The Nando as a culture are used to this idea, but Malla didn’t grow up with that – she was raised in the west, where people would definitely not be okay with it.  If the men were shown to be willing sacrifices this might not be quite so bad (although it still wouldn’t be okay), but no, the guy we see is struggling as he’s held down and drugged.

As for Sally, the movie evidently wants us to think she’s a nagging harpy.  It doesn’t quite succeed, because of the way Neil drools after ‘Terri’. Sally has every right to be worried, impatient, and annoyed, especially when he brushes off her concerns the way he does.  Instead, what’s terrible about Sally is the way she offhandedly threatens Neil (“you better not try anything like that if you want to stay in one piece”) and seems to view him as a possession rather than a partner.  When he admits he prefers ‘Terri’, Sally’s plan is to send this woman away until she and Neil can marry, as if signing his name to the paperwork means he can never escape from her again.  He belongs to her now.  She has a receipt.

I assume that Neil and Sally met through Paul, but until the point where they turn up at the airport, we never see them together and have no indication they know each other exists. The impression I get is that the Bride of Neil was originally going to be a different character, but they couldn't afford another actress.

Then there’s June.  The Leech Woman is obviously her story – she’s in almost every scene, and is the one with a bit of a character arc.  It’s possible that we see Paul as unsubtly evil and Sally as a paranoid bitch because that’s how June sees them.  If anybody’s the protagonist, it’s her, but she is never, ever likable even in a villainous sort of way. We root for her to destroy Paul because we hate him too, but everything she does is awful and like the other characters, she doesn’t have any good characteristics to offset it.

When we first meet her, she’s a self-pitying drunk. She is so badly-treated by Paul that by the time it looks like she’s going to have him killed and run off with David, we’re all for it.  Then her downhill spiral begins as she murders David for his pineal.  This is supposed to be a surprise and a demonstration that June is irredeemable, and it works as far as it goes, but it leaves us with no interest in her affair with Neil.  We don’t root for them to get together because it’s obviously impossible, and we cannot believe that this is some great tragic love when they’ve only just met. It’s just a couple of selfish idiots being selfish idiots.

After the way Paul has treated June, we understand why she enjoys seeing men doing her bidding.  She’s always been ignored and disregarded, so she derives great joy from being able to make people pay attention.  She uses beauty to wrap Neil around her little finger, and wealth to do the same to the would-be robber.  She knows she’s ruining Neil’s life by seducing him as ‘Terri’, and she seems positively gleeful about that.  The problem is that she’s not really trying to accomplish anything through this manipulation.  She has no long-term plan, it’s just all-out hedonism, and when she finds herself cornered, she commits suicide.  June never learns anything from any of this, and nobody else learns anything from her. At the end, she’s just pointlessly destroyed a number of lives, including her own, and it’s hard to say what the audience is supposed to take from that.

And man, that’s just the dramatis personae!  I have way more to complain about in The Leech Woman, so stay tuned.  Next week I’ll be back in SJW mode with a vengeance.  See you then!

[betelgeusessonajblog]

I shall be a dick cause I love you 😜💕 1 - 150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

AJ: Raph

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

AJ: Outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

AJ: Raph, duh he’s everything.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

AJ: Nah, not really haha

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

AJ: Obviously he would

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

AJ: Tough but caring, smart, funny, can pick me up when I’m down.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

AJ: Without a doubt *holds up hand with wedding ring on it* 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

AJ: Raven….I wanna save her…

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

AJ:…HAHAHAHAHA!!!! no

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

AJ:…Raph.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

AJ:….Uuum….it’s just an ass pic I sent Raph before he ran into our room and fucked me senseless

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

AJ: Don’t have a 5 fave songs tbh

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

AJ:…I…is my spikes hair….? cause no one touches them 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

AJ: Yep

15. What good thing happened this summer?

AJ: Since this is 2020 and Summer hasn’t happened yet I’m gonna say last year’s summer was good. Lots happened though

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

AJ: That’s my husband so yes17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

AJ; Yes, I have an Alien son18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

AJ: Brock? Eh not since a huge fight me and Raph got into

19. Do you like bubble baths?

AJ: Never tried them I don’t think

20. Do you like your neighbors?

AJ: Me and, Raph live away from people so

21. What are you bad habits?

AJ: God….um…shit I know I have a lot but I’m struggling to figure it out22. Where would you like to travel?

AJ: I like travelling so yeah23. Do you have trust issues?

AJ; Not really just depends24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

AJ: Breakfast with Raph, it’s fun talking.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

AJ:….my…scars…26. What do you do when you wake up?

AJ: Depends its usually Afternoon or some times morning27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

AJ: I’m monochrome, I’d like different scale colours

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

AJ: Raph29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

AJ: No, Brock never said that once

30. Do you ever want to get married?

AJ: ALREADY AM!31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

AJ:…No hair32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

AJ: Don’t know33. Spell your name with your chin.

AJ:…Bite me bambi34. Do you play sports? What sports?

AJ: Mostly Martial arts stuff35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

AJ: Ugh…neither36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

AJ: One guy years back but I didn’t know my sexuality then so…

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

AJ:…Nothing really just…38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

AJ: Raph39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

AJ: I don’t really have a fave store to go to40. What do you want to do after high school?

AJ: I went to MU and that was a disaster41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

AJ: Some do…42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

AJ: I’m thinking of something or i’m too down to talk43. Do you smile at strangers?

AJ: Not really no44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

AJ: Been in space45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

AJ: Raph, without a doubt46. What are you paranoid about?

AJ: Fucking things up with my family

47. Have you ever been high?

AJ: No48. Have you ever been drunk?

AJ: Repeatedly49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

AJ: Nope50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

AJ: Dark red51. Ever wished you were someone else?

AJ: For years I always did52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

AJ: No scars….53. Favourite makeup brand?

AJ: Don’t use make up54. Favourite store?

AJ: None55. Favourite blog?

(Mun one: @thelostandforgottenangel cause she’s awesome56. Favourite colour?

AJ: Red57. Favourite food?

AJ: Hmm…Spaghetti58. Last thing you ate?

AJ: Raph’s ass *Sticks tongue out*59. First thing you ate this morning?

AJ: Cereal60. Ever won a competition? For what?

AJ: never61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

AJ: ALMOST got Suspended/Expelled62. Been arrested? For what?

AJ: Nope luckily63. Ever been in love?

AJ: Currently in love with the man of my dreams64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

AJ: God…that was way back in College me and Brock were talking then…we kissed after admitting we liked each other65. Are you hungry right now?

AJ: Nah I’m fine66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

//YEP 67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?

AJ: Watching repeats of some old TV Shows70. Names of your bestfriends?

AJ: Besides Raph? Leo, Mikey, Donnie and, Raven71. Craving something? What?

AJ: Raph’s big cock72. What colour are your towels?

AJ: Eh white I think72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

AJ: Three73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

AJ: No, never had that kinda thing74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

AJ: None75. Favourite animal?

//Dog76. What colour is your underwear?

AJ: My jockstrap’s red77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

AJ:…Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

AJ: Strawberry79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

AJ: Black80. What colour pants?

AJ: Also Black81. Favourite tv show?

AJ: The Walking Dead82. Favourite movie?

AJ: Rocky Horror Picture Show83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

AJ: Neither84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

AJ: neither85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

AJ: Never seen it don’t wanna86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

AJ: None87. First person you talked to today?

AJ: Raph88. Last person you talked to today?

AJ: Roger89. Name a person you hate?

AJ: My mom90. Name a person you love?

AJ: Raph91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

AJ: My Dad92. In a fight with someone?

AJ: Not currently93. How many sweatpants do you have?

AJ: None94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

AJ: Um one or two95. Last movie you watched?

AJ: one of the Fast and Furious movies, me and Raph watched it last night96. Favourite actress?

AJ: Hmm….too many tbh97. Favourite actor?

AJ: Same as before98. Do you tan a lot?

AJ: Never99. Have any pets?

AJ: a shared pet with Raph, one I bought him100. How are you feeling?

AJ: Tired to be honest101. Do you type fast?

//Yes102. Do you regret anything from your past?

AJ:….people I met in MU….Breaking promises to people103. Can you spell well?

//not really104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

AJ: No105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

AJ: Nope106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

AJ: Yeah Brock’s with breaking my promise to never drink107. Have you ever been on a horse?

AJ: Nope108. What should you be doing?

AJ: Raph~

109. Is something irritating you right now?

AJ: Not being able to help Raven110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

AJ: Raph, without a doubt111. Do you have trust issues?

AJ:…No this was already mentioned before112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

AJ: Raph113. What was your childhood nickname?

AJ….pass on that one114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

AJ: Yep115. Do you play the Wii?

//Yep116. Are you listening to music right now?

AJ: Nothing currently117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

AJ: No118. Do you like Chinese food?

AJ: Nope119. Favourite book?

AJ: Tomorrow When The War Began is one I love120. Are you afraid of the dark?

AJ: No121. Are you mean?

AJ: only when someone pisses me off122. Is cheating ever okay?

AJ: Never okay EVER123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

AJ: I don’t wear shoes124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

AJ: Kinda yeah125. Do you believe in true love?

AJ: I have that with Raph126. Are you currently bored?

AJ: Yeeeep127. What makes you happy?

AJ: My family128. Would you change your name?

AJ: Nah129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra130. Do you like subway?

AJ: Nope131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

AJ: Turn them down 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

AJ…I Already said RAPH133. Favourite lyrics right now?

AJ: Don’t have any134. Can you count to one million?

AJ: Never had to135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

AJ:….too many tbh136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

AJ: Depends tbh137. How tall are you?

AJ: 6′6138. Curly or Straight hair?

AJ: Don’t have hair so139. Brunette or Blonde?140. Summer or Winter?

AJ: Summer141. Night or Day?

AJ: Night142. Favourite month?

AJ: Dunno143. Are you a vegetarian?

AJ: Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

AJ: Doesn’t matter145. Tea or Coffee?

AJ: *Shrugs*146. Was today a good day?

AJ: Kinda147. Mars or Snickers?

AJ: Mars148. What’s your favourite quote?

Limits are meant to be overcome

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

AJ: I am one

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

AJ:…Spell shit

[fanficshiddles]

I’m still breathing, Chapter 45

Over the months, Loki became really fond of their new companion. He loved her as much as Sophie did.

Sophie often found Serenity on Loki’s shoulder while he was doing day to day things, such as working in the lab or cooking food. The sight always melted her heart.

Loki wasn’t the only one who was very fond of her. She became The Avengers mascot. Appearing with them at a few press releases, usually draped around Sophie or Loki’s shoulder. She became very popular with the public, like a good luck charm. People always asked to pet her, which was obliged because she was a very friendly cat.

At the last press conference after a mission, Loki felt that bad shiver down his spine again like the time at the cinema. His eyes roamed over the crowd and he spotted four hooded figures at the back of the crowd. But being spotted, they quickly darted away.

‘Are you alright, Loks? You seem edgy.’ Clint asked when the team all returned with an Indian buffet for dinner.

‘I can’t shake a bad feeling I have… At the cinema a few months ago, and today at the press conference, I’ve seen four hooded figures. Can’t make out their faces, and both times they’ve rushed away.’ He said while opening the Indian containers and placing them out in the middle of the table.

‘Maybe they’re fans but not wanting to be seen.’ Bruce suggested.

‘Perhaps.’ Loki sighed.

Sophie sat down next to him and put her hand on his thigh. ‘This is really getting to you, isn’t it?’ She asked quietly while everyone else started loading food onto their plate.

‘Don’t worry, love. I am probably just being over paranoid.’ He smiled, covering her hand with his he gave her a squeeze.

‘Sometimes you need to trust your instinct. If you feel there’s something not right, maybe we should speak to Fury.’ Sophie didn’t want Loki to think that she wouldn’t take him seriously. But that was twice now he’d felt something wasn’t right.

‘Maybe.’ Loki hummed.

After dinner, Sophie took Loki aside to speak to him privately.

‘Do you want to go speak to Fury?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe I am being over paranoid.’ Loki sighed and slid his arms around her waist.

‘If it’s bothering you though, you should do something about it. You always tell me to go with my instincts.’

‘I know… I’ll speak to him in the morning, see if we can go over the footage from the press conference. Maybe the cameras caught something.’ Loki leaned down and kissed her softly.

In the middle of the night, Loki woke up with a cry from a nightmare. He was sweaty, shaking and terrified. Sophie turned on the lamp quickly and put her arms around him.

‘Loki! It’s ok, it’s ok! It was a nightmare, you’re safe.’ She said and pulled his head against her chest.

He put his arms around her, his breathing heavy and shaky while he tried to calm down. Sophie could feel his entire body shaking so badly.

‘Shhh, shhh.’ Sophie stroked his hair, to try and help soothe him. Once he had calmed down, she went to get something to drink from the kitchen, on her return they both sat up against the headboard to talk.

‘What was it?’

‘Thanos.’ Loki whispered.

Sophie frowned. ‘He can’t hurt you anymore, Loki. He’s dead.’

‘I know… but there are others.’ He whispered, looking Sophie in the eye.

She could see how terrified he was again. Between the nightmare and the hooded figures he saw, he was certainly on edge.

‘Is this because of the hooded group?’ Sophie rubbed his arm.

He nodded.

Serenity jumped up onto the bed using her mini stairs that Loki made for her, since she wasn’t quite fully grown yet she struggled to jump up from the floor, but she was getting there. She started purring as she walked up between the two and rubbed against them both in turn, then she crawled onto Loki’s lap and curled up while still purring away happily.

Loki let out a breath and petted her softly. She was always comforting, just like Sophie was.

‘Thanos has many followers. But the ones I am… concerned, about… are known as The Black Order. Four of his closest followers. Corvus Glaive, Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf and Ebony Maw.’ Loki’s jaw clenched as he thought back to when he had met them.

‘What stupid names.’ Sophie scoffed, making Loki smirk. ‘Well, if it is them that are stalking us, we will kick their ass. They can’t be more powerful than Thanos, surely?’

Loki loved her optimism, he reached out to stroke her hair behind her ear. ‘Not singularly. But together they are a rather formidable force. I hope it is just my mind playing tricks on me, but I shall speak to Fury first thing in the morning.’

‘It’ll be ok.’ Sophie smiled.

‘I certainly hope so.’

The next morning, Loki and Sophie were up early. They grabbed something to eat for breakfast then went to see Fury.

‘Pinch me I must be dreaming.’ The director said when the two entered the room. ‘Never thought you two would be coming to me.’

Loki rolled his eyes. ‘That, and much more, can be arranged.’ He growled. He still wasn’t entirely keen on the man.

‘What can I do for you?’ Fury perched on the table in the middle of the room.

Sophie and Loki shared a look with one another. Then Loki spoke. ‘We’d like to go over all footage, including security cameras from the press conference yesterday.’

‘Why?’

‘I have reason to believe that some of Thanos’ minions are stalking me.’ He said, squeezing Sophie’s hand.

Fury’s eye narrowed. ‘What makes you believe that? Who are these minions?’

‘The Black Order. Four powerful beings. A month or so ago, I saw four suspicious hooded figures at the cinema. The same again yesterday at the conference. I am… gravely concerned.’

Fury sighed. ‘I can’t do anything for you just feeling edgy around some punk ass kids. No doubt fans that don’t want to show their face!’ Fury said, pissed off. He stood up and stormed to the door.

‘Director, come on. You said yourself, it’s unlikely we would come to you for help. Loki wouldn’t just make up something like this if he wasn’t genuinely worried. Can’t we at least go over the footage?’ Sophie begged.

‘What good would it do?’ He folded his arms over his chest.

‘It would make me feel better to view it all.’ Loki snarled, trying to keep his cool.

‘Loki has helped you out so fucking much. The least you can do is help us out!’ Sophie snapped.

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Alright. Fine. I will send the tapes through to Starks computer for you to view.’ He grumbled.

‘Thanks.’ Loki muttered as he and Sophie passed by him to leave.

On returning to base, they went straight to find Stark. He was in the lab with everyone else huddled around the computer.

‘Come on kids. We have the footage over from Fury. What is it we are looking for, exactly?’ Tony asked as he pressed play.

‘Anything suspicious. Hooded figures.’ Loki muttered, barging through the group with Sophie so they had the best view.

The footage played through the whole conference and there was no sign of any hooded figures or suspicious people.

‘This can’t be right. They were right there!’ Loki rewound the footage over and over, looking directly at where he’d seen them but there was nothing there.

‘Loks, maybe you need to take a break. Perhaps your mind is just playing tricks on you.’ Steve said, patting his shoulder.

Loki shrugged him off with a glare. ‘Do not patronise me, I am not going crazy. I know what I saw.’ He hissed.

‘No one has had access to these, there is no way it has been fiddled with.’ Said Bruce, feeling slightly sorry for the God. Even though he didn’t entirely believe him.

Loki was furious. He stormed off in a rage, blasting a hole in the wall with his Seidr instead of using the door.

‘FUCK SAKE, LOKI! YOU’RE PAYING FOR THAT!’ Stark shouted after him angrily. He then looked at Sophie. ‘Keep your boyfriend under control before he does something stupid!’

‘Maybe you lot should treat him like a proper team member instead of taking the piss! Why would he lie about something like this? You can be such assholes!’ She spat angrily at Stark especially, then she rushed off after Loki.

Sophie found him in the library after searching high and low, he was sulking on the chair by the window. She went over and plopped herself on his lap and slipped her arms around his neck. She leaned in and kissed his jaw.

‘I believe you, love. We will get to the bottom of it. I promise.’

Loki smiled half-heartedly. ‘Thank you, darling. You’re the only one who does believe me by the looks of it.’ He sighed.

‘Not the only one.’ Said a voice.

The couple looked up to see Clint, Natasha and Wanda walking in, with Clint’s iPad.

‘I stole the footage onto here, to take a better look. It looked slightly, distorted here.’ Clint leaned down by them and pointed directly at the place where Loki saw the figures.

‘That is where I saw them.’ Loki frowned. ‘Someone has tampered with this!’

‘I don’t think so.’ Wanda said. ‘Clint came to me with it. I’ve seen it before with certain magic or energy. It can be used to shroud ones view from cameras or certain people if the wielder of said magic is strong enough.’

‘Of course. I’ve been so stupid. They will be wanting only me to see them. They wouldn’t expose themselves to the cameras.’ Loki’s face lit up, he was relieved that he wasn’t alone in this.

‘So… What do we do to find them?’ Clint asked.

‘You want to help?’ Loki looked at them, slightly shocked.

‘Of course. We’re all a team. One person’s troubles is all of our troubles.’ Natasha said, putting her hand on Loki’s shoulder.

He looked to Sophie and smiled, then back up at the three. ‘Thank you. I appreciate it. But there won’t be an easy way to lure them out. They are obviously plotting something, but what, I am not sure… I think we need to up security and train harder.’

‘Well, let’s get started then.’ Said Clint, rolling his shoulders with a grin.

[imagine-loki]

I'm still breathing, Chapter 45

TITLE: I’m still breathing CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 45 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine a mutant has been living on the streets for years, until she is picked up by the Avengers. She’s taken to live with them so they can help her to discover what her powers are. Loki especially, takes an interest in her. The two become very fond of one another as they discover what her power is. RATING: M

Over the months, Loki became really fond of their new companion. He loved her as much as Sophie did.

Sophie often found Serenity on Loki’s shoulder while he was doing day to day things, such as working in the lab or cooking food. The sight always melted her heart.

Loki wasn’t the only one who was very fond of her. She became The Avengers mascot. Appearing with them at a few press releases, usually draped around Sophie or Loki’s shoulder. She became very popular with the public, like a good luck charm. People always asked to pet her, which was obliged because she was a very friendly cat.

At the last press conference after a mission, Loki felt that bad shiver down his spine again like the time at the cinema. His eyes roamed over the crowd and he spotted four hooded figures at the back of the crowd. But being spotted, they quickly darted away.

‘Are you alright, Loks? You seem edgy.’ Clint asked when the team all returned with an Indian buffet for dinner.

‘I can’t shake a bad feeling I have… At the cinema a few months ago, and today at the press conference, I’ve seen four hooded figures. Can’t make out their faces, and both times they’ve rushed away.’ He said while opening the Indian containers and placing them out in the middle of the table.

‘Maybe they’re fans but not wanting to be seen.’ Bruce suggested.

‘Perhaps.’ Loki sighed.

Sophie sat down next to him and put her hand on his thigh. ‘This is really getting to you, isn’t it?’ She asked quietly while everyone else started loading food onto their plate.

‘Don’t worry, love. I am probably just being over paranoid.’ He smiled, covering her hand with his he gave her a squeeze.

‘Sometimes you need to trust your instinct. If you feel there’s something not right, maybe we should speak to Fury.’ Sophie didn’t want Loki to think that she wouldn’t take him seriously. But that was twice now he’d felt something wasn’t right.

‘Maybe.’ Loki hummed.

After dinner, Sophie took Loki aside to speak to him privately.

‘Do you want to go speak to Fury?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe I am being over paranoid.’ Loki sighed and slid his arms around her waist.

‘If it’s bothering you though, you should do something about it. You always tell me to go with my instincts.’

‘I know… I’ll speak to him in the morning, see if we can go over the footage from the press conference. Maybe the cameras caught something.’ Loki leaned down and kissed her softly.

In the middle of the night, Loki woke up with a cry from a nightmare. He was sweaty, shaking and terrified. Sophie turned on the lamp quickly and put her arms around him.

‘Loki! It’s ok, it’s ok! It was a nightmare, you’re safe.’ She said and pulled his head against her chest.

He put his arms around her, his breathing heavy and shaky while he tried to calm down. Sophie could feel his entire body shaking so badly.

‘Shhh, shhh.’ Sophie stroked his hair, to try and help soothe him. Once he had calmed down, she went to get something to drink from the kitchen, on her return they both sat up against the headboard to talk.

‘What was it?’

‘Thanos.’ Loki whispered.

Sophie frowned. ‘He can’t hurt you anymore, Loki. He’s dead.’

‘I know… but there are others.’ He whispered, looking Sophie in the eye.

She could see how terrified he was again. Between the nightmare and the hooded figures he saw, he was certainly on edge.

‘Is this because of the hooded group?’ Sophie rubbed his arm.

He nodded.

Serenity jumped up onto the bed using her mini stairs that Loki made for her, since she wasn’t quite fully grown yet she struggled to jump up from the floor, but she was getting there. She started purring as she walked up between the two and rubbed against them both in turn, then she crawled onto Loki’s lap and curled up while still purring away happily.

Loki let out a breath and petted her softly. She was always comforting, just like Sophie was.

‘Thanos has many followers. But the ones I am… concerned, about… are known as The Black Order. Four of his closest followers. Corvus Glaive, Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf and Ebony Maw.’ Loki’s jaw clenched as he thought back to when he had met them.

‘What stupid names.’ Sophie scoffed, making Loki smirk. ‘Well, if it is them that are stalking us, we will kick their ass. They can’t be more powerful than Thanos, surely?’

Loki loved her optimism, he reached out to stroke her hair behind her ear. ‘Not singularly. But together they are a rather formidable force. I hope it is just my mind playing tricks on me, but I shall speak to Fury first thing in the morning.’

‘It’ll be ok.’ Sophie smiled.

‘I certainly hope so.’

The next morning, Loki and Sophie were up early. They grabbed something to eat for breakfast then went to see Fury.

‘Pinch me I must be dreaming.’ The director said when the two entered the room. ‘Never thought you two would be coming to me.’

Loki rolled his eyes. ‘That, and much more, can be arranged.’ He growled. He still wasn’t entirely keen on the man.

‘What can I do for you?’ Fury perched on the table in the middle of the room.

Sophie and Loki shared a look with one another. Then Loki spoke. ‘We’d like to go over all footage, including security cameras from the press conference yesterday.’

‘Why?’

‘I have reason to believe that some of Thanos’ minions are stalking me.’ He said, squeezing Sophie’s hand.

Fury’s eye narrowed. ‘What makes you believe that? Who are these minions?’

‘The Black Order. Four powerful beings. A month or so ago, I saw four suspicious hooded figures at the cinema. The same again yesterday at the conference. I am… gravely concerned.’

Fury sighed. ‘I can’t do anything for you just feeling edgy around some punk ass kids. No doubt fans that don’t want to show their face!’ Fury said, pissed off. He stood up and stormed to the door.

‘Director, come on. You said yourself, it’s unlikely we would come to you for help. Loki wouldn’t just make up something like this if he wasn’t genuinely worried. Can’t we at least go over the footage?’ Sophie begged.

‘What good would it do?’ He folded his arms over his chest.

‘It would make me feel better to view it all.’ Loki snarled, trying to keep his cool.

‘Loki has helped you out so fucking much. The least you can do is help us out!’ Sophie snapped.

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Alright. Fine. I will send the tapes through to Starks computer for you to view.’ He grumbled.

‘Thanks.’ Loki muttered as he and Sophie passed by him to leave.

On returning to base, they went straight to find Stark. He was in the lab with everyone else huddled around the computer.

‘Come on kids. We have the footage over from Fury. What is it we are looking for, exactly?’ Tony asked as he pressed play.

‘Anything suspicious. Hooded figures.’ Loki muttered, barging through the group with Sophie so they had the best view.

The footage played through the whole conference and there was no sign of any hooded figures or suspicious people.

‘This can’t be right. They were right there!’ Loki rewound the footage over and over, looking directly at where he’d seen them but there was nothing there.

‘Loks, maybe you need to take a break. Perhaps your mind is just playing tricks on you.’ Steve said, patting his shoulder.

Loki shrugged him off with a glare. ‘Do not patronise me, I am not going crazy. I know what I saw.’ He hissed.

‘No one has had access to these, there is no way it has been fiddled with.’ Said Bruce, feeling slightly sorry for the God. Even though he didn’t entirely believe him.

Loki was furious. He stormed off in a rage, blasting a hole in the wall with his Seidr instead of using the door.

‘FUCK SAKE, LOKI! YOU’RE PAYING FOR THAT!’ Stark shouted after him angrily. He then looked at Sophie. ‘Keep your boyfriend under control before he does something stupid!’

‘Maybe you lot should treat him like a proper team member instead of taking the piss! Why would he lie about something like this? You can be such assholes!’ She spat angrily at Stark especially, then she rushed off after Loki.

Sophie found him in the library after searching high and low, he was sulking on the chair by the window. She went over and plopped herself on his lap and slipped her arms around his neck. She leaned in and kissed his jaw.

‘I believe you, love. We will get to the bottom of it. I promise.’

Loki smiled half-heartedly. ‘Thank you, darling. You’re the only one who does believe me by the looks of it.’ He sighed.

‘Not the only one.’ Said a voice.

The couple looked up to see Clint, Natasha and Wanda walking in, with Clint’s iPad.

‘I stole the footage onto here, to take a better look. It looked slightly, distorted here.’ Clint leaned down by them and pointed directly at the place where Loki saw the figures.

‘That is where I saw them.’ Loki frowned. ‘Someone has tampered with this!’

‘I don’t think so.’ Wanda said. ‘Clint came to me with it. I’ve seen it before with certain magic or energy. It can be used to shroud ones view from cameras or certain people if the wielder of said magic is strong enough.’

‘Of course. I’ve been so stupid. They will be wanting only me to see them. They wouldn’t expose themselves to the cameras.’ Loki’s face lit up, he was relieved that he wasn’t alone in this.

‘So… What do we do to find them?’ Clint asked.

‘You want to help?’ Loki looked at them, slightly shocked.

‘Of course. We’re all a team. One person’s troubles is all of our troubles.’ Natasha said, putting her hand on Loki’s shoulder.

He looked to Sophie and smiled, then back up at the three. ‘Thank you. I appreciate it. But there won’t be an easy way to lure them out. They are obviously plotting something, but what, I am not sure… I think we need to up security and train harder.’

‘Well, let’s get started then.’ Said Clint, rolling his shoulders with a grin.

[kee-writestrashh]

To Marry a Bastard

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

ao3

summary:  Before there were the Bastard's Bitches, the Black Sheep, the Wicked Ones, and the Red King's to worry about there was only the Bastard's Boys. Before there was a bun in the oven there was a possessive, obsessive love. There was raw emotion. There was a rowdy group of men who frequented a small, hole in wall, bar.... There was something evil behind that smirk. But there was also something needing and wanting behind those cold blue eyes.

**prequel to Guns for Hire

Chapter 1:  In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep... 

"How was the gym?" Damon asked, falling into the couch across from Ramsay.

"Shit. Fucked up my shoulder again." Ramsay hummed, finishing off his glass of whiskey and lighting a cigarette.

"Mm. I think you do it on purpose. Like the pain." Damon smirked, pulling a bag of marijuana from his pocket and sitting up to grab the Playboy magazine and rolling papers off the coffee table.

"It is pretty sweet. But nah, I keep hoping that maybe it will all just click again and I can beat the fuck out of Snow." Ramsay sighed, watching Damon break up a bud.

"So I was at the bar last night and that one chick was there..." Damon said rather slyly.

Ramsay tutted, rolling his eyes.

"She's pretty fuckin' hot dude. For sure not from the city. She got a mean right hook too. Should of seen her knock this big guy out. He had to be Ben's size at least." Damon said animatedly as he rolled a joint.

"You keep talkin' about this bitch like I give a fuck. I'm not going to settle down. I'm not going to get married. Perfect little Dom carries all that weight. Him and his whore ass wife. I'm just the freak show of the family. I don't have time. Father has me working my ass off. Got a mile long list of rats and trash to take out." He said, reaching forward to pour another glass of whiskey.

"Rams, get off your little high horse and stop. Like seriously. Do you ever stop and think about anything? At least come down there with me." Damon said, his smug, high grin fading into a serious frown.

He snorted, "since when did you care about my love life, Dame?"

"Since you did. I see the way you calculate every woman who speaks to you. I see the disgust. Come on man. Just give her a look over."

"Fine, fine. But if she's a fucking stupid whore, I'm going to kill her and then you."

"Bet." Damon said, leaning over the coffee table and holding his pinky out.

"Dude, how old are you again?" He asked, with the usual smirk, taking Damon's pinky in his.

"Almost twenty four. But we are forever fucking twelve, Darth Vader." Damon grinned, placing the unlit joint down, standing, and pulling his keys from his pocket.

"As you will, Iron Man." He sighed, setting his glass down and following Damon out of the apartment.

"Dude, quit messing with my shit." Damon hissed fixing his seat belt and slapping Ramsay's hand away from the radio.

"You listen to gay shit." Ramsay retorted.

"No. I listen to rad shit. You're just an angry fuck who likes to think he don't like my music." Damon quipped.

"You're lucky I like you." Ramsay huffed, crossing his arms and staring out of the window. It was a misty night. Maybe good to find someone in the alley.

"Maybe it's you who's lucky you like me." Damon laughed.

"Maybe." Ramsay smirked.

Ramsay glanced over at Damon and took him in. His wild curls and permanently glazed eyes. He felt a sudden fondness for his best friend. Or... well, guess it really was the only word Ramsay had to describe Damon. The word friend was a word that left a sour taste in his mouth.

Ramsay Bolton didn't have 'friends'. Ramsay had men that worked for him. But what were the Bastard's Boys then? They really were more than just employees to him. Though, he would never admit it. They all held a special place with him. But Damon. He was like a brother. Maybe brother was a better word than friend. The Boys weren't friends. They were family. And family was important.

But Damon was most important. Ramsay had met Damon when they were five. He was in the other kindergarten class at the school they went to. One sunny afternoon at recess Ramsay had been sitting on the swing watching a bigger kid pick on a much smaller kid. For whatever reason Ramsay had felt compelled to step in and confront the bully. It had ended in bloody noses, busted lips, black eyes, and sitting in the principal's office waiting on parents to show up.

Roose had beat Ramsay when they had gotten home. It was unjust in Ramsay's eyes. To be punished for doing the right thing. But That wasn't how Roose saw anything from Ramsay.

Ramsay had always felt like his father hated him, and he was never sure why. Even now at 24 he still had no idea. Not that it mattered anymore, but it was a haunting thought.

Ramsay had grown up in hell. It was the only way he could have described it if anyone ever asked. But they would never know. And he would never tell. No one was important enough to ever let in. No one except Damon.

Ramsay couldn't describe the affection he felt for the man sitting next to him. He hated it honestly. To have actual feelings for something. Especially when the therapists screamed he was incapable of legitimate feelings. He was a user, a manipulator, and toxic. Nah, they never said that directly, but it's what they meant. Ramsay wasn't stupid. Far opposite that. He was a fucking genius. Numbers. Numbers were his thing. Everything could make sense if he looked at it through numbers.

"Your therapist called me today." Damon said, watching Ramsay from the corner of his eye.

"Fuck that old ass bitch." Ramsay said bitterly, clenching his jaw.

"You know, if you would just..." Damon began.

'Don't you tell me what to fucking do!" Ramsay hissed.

Damon sighed, saying no more.

Today Ramsay had stormed out of the therapists office after threatening her. She was trying too hard to pry into him. It annoyed him. So what if he was mentally fucked? He was happy. Chaotically happy, maybe. But happy just the same.

He had been diagnosed with multiple behavior disorders as a kid, and it wasn't until he was 18 that he was finally diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. But it went so much deeper than that as he was shunted between therapists. ASPD. Then it was Borderline. Then histrionic. Then narcissistic. Then Paranoid. Then Dependent. Depression. And of course the alcoholism. But he didn't care. It made absolutely no difference what kind of alcoholic psycho they called him. He wasn't going attempt to change it. There was no need. He was fine.

At least, that's what had been telling himself since he was five. Since the first time his father had beat him in a drunken fit.

Ramsay clenched his jaw and cleared his throat, lighting a cigarette.

"What we doing for Halloween, guy?" Damon asked, lighting his own cigarette.

"Dunno. Haven't thought on it. Haven't had time to think about anything, honestly. Have court that day. Maybe I can finally quit going to the fucking head shrink." Ramsay said, remembering he had to be at the courthouse at 09:00 on the 31st.

"Did Alyn tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Ramsay asked, glancing around the half empty parking lot of the bar.

"Wife left him." Damon said, climbing out of the car.

"Mm. What a shame." Ramsay said, not attempting to sound like he gave a fuck.

"Well, he's pretty down. So maybe we could do something wild on Halloween. Gives us a couple weeks to plan some shit." Damon said, pushing the door of the bar open.

Ramsay glanced around and eyes immediately fell on... her. He cleared his throat and looked away.

But it wasn't before Damon had noticed. He let a sly grin creep up his face, but said nothing as he found an empty table and sat with Ramsay.

"I'll get drinks, shall I?" He grinned at Ramsay, who waved him away dismissively. "Her name is (Y/n), by the way."

"Shut your whore mouth." Ramsay hissed, lighting another cigarette to have something to do with himself.

But he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

[tap-dat-agent]

Who Knew? 3/? (Merlahad)

Part 1 // Part 2

Eggsy and Harry walked a little way’s behind Whiskey, on their way to the conference room, the former sidling up to the latter in an attempt to get him to talk.

“What the shit was that?” Eggsy hissed in Harry’s ear.

“Beg pardon?” Harry strode along, his hands pocketed, his voice carrying sharply despite whispering lower than Eggsy.

“When you said he needed you, I don’t know, I sorta thought you meant he needed a fu”—

“You truly believe now is the appropriate time to have this conversation?” Harry questioned, his voice lethally low. “If you wait for the opportune moment, I might once more divulge the personal details of my life in private. You can spy on me, again.”

“Harry, I didn’t”—

Harry’s long legs carried the older man a considerable distance ahead of Eggsy.

“Fuck.”

Whiskey pulled the double doors of the conference room open to reveal Champagne, in all his surly glory, standing at the head of a long meeting table with a whisky tumbler in hand and a settled smile on his face.

“Welcome back, gentlemen.”

“Champagne,” Harry greeted, and Eggsy offered him a respectful nod from Harry’s side. Eggsy looked around the room, acknowledging the congregation of invisible Statesman agents he could not see but knew were assembled around the table, and settled on a rather put-off-looking Tequila.

Eggsy touched the side of his eyeglasses to adjust the view settings for Statesman clearance-level access, as per the perks of their union, revealing the holographic bodies of the other Statesman agents and a still rather pissed-looking Tequila.

Whiskey settled into the last remaining seat, opposite Tequila, smirking.

“Enjoy your reunion?” Champagne asked.

“Our colleague will live,” Harry responded, dryly.

“Fuck yeah, he will,” Eggsy seconded, “no better than that.”

“Good to hear it,” Champagne raised his glass, “because the shit’s about to hit the fan.” Champagne downed his glass and set the tumbler down on the table with a hard ‘thud’. “I’ve got some bad news.”

Well, fuck.

The void left by Poppy’s demise had given rise to a power struggle within the inner workings of the largest criminal distributor of narcotics worldwide. The Golden Circle, unfortunately, did not begin and end with the cheerfully-crazed redheaded drug peddler with a hard-on for 50s Nostalgia and Elton fucking John. Behind people like Poppy were financial investors, special interest parties, and more people like Poppy.

These people were doing whatever it took to secure their rank at the top.

“We got ourselves a good ol’ fashion process of elimination taking place,” Champagne smiled, sadistically, “at the top of the Golden Circle. Of the few in our crosshairs, high-level targets all head of their respective regional operations,” an assortment of candid shots projected above the center of the table, ten faces, all captioned with a name Eggsy couldn’t give two shits to read, “only five remain on the docket.”

Five of the ten photos disappeared into nothingness.

“Our ongoing intel indicates they’re taking one another out to consolidate the organization. In the spirit of giving credit where credit’s due, Statesman are responsible for only two of the five hits. They really don’t want another megalomaniac like Poppy calling the shots and that makes our job a helluva lot harder.”

“Am I missing something?” Eggsy asked, with two fingers raised in the air, gaining everyone’s attention. “It’s sounds like they’re killing each other, taking out the competition, so how is that bad for us?”

“You only need one king, Eggsy,” Harry voiced, side-eyeing Eggsy but in an indulging way. “A concentration of power. A single leader can be more effective than a group of independent bodies.”

“Exactly.” Champagne pointed a finger in Harry’s direction.

“You’d think someone from a people that’s done colonized the whole damn world would’ve figured that out,” Tequila snapped in his own sullen, instigating way.

“What, like, you Americans are any better?” Eggsy clapped back.

“We beat your asses, didn’t we?”

“That’s why you strut around wearing a bowler hat like an ironic British fashion model—fuck out of here.”

“Hey, it’s a derby, asshole.”

“Dickhead.”

“Eggsy.”

“Tequila.” Champagne and Harry eyed their respective charges warningly, before Champagne continued. “We’re all on the same side, gentlemen. Whiskey.”

“Sir,” Whiskey nodded, pulling up her clipboard.

“Now, if we’re through with name-calling, I’d like to direct everyone’s attention to the dossiers Whiskey’s uploading into your eye-wear. We’ve got five targets on the board, we outnumber them, so we’re going after them before the jig is up. The details are specific to your target in their region. Kingsman, before your eyes is one target running operations out of Berlin. I highly encourage teamwork between Kingsman and their Statesman liaisons, Tequila and Whiskey.”

Eggsy and Tequila shared a nasty look with each other.

“Everyone else, double-up. Let’s hunt these vermin down while the gettin’s good. Dismissed.”

The holographic meeting of Statesman agents dispersed in flickers. Whiskey and Tequila approached Harry and Eggsy as Champagne worked towards securing himself another drink. Eggsy watched it all through the glowing transparency of one Ernest Karloff, a high-ranking operative of the Golden Circle who had a thing for fancy shades and bad combovers.

“Ernest Karloff,” Whiskey said, confirming who the three men saw in their respective eyewear. “We first picked him up on our radar from Statesman’s London front when some of his crew tried to move what was left of Poppy’s contaminated product in their region. He’s a smart man but impulsive and paranoid, hiding in one of his nightclubs, so this shouldn’t be too difficult for us.”

“I think it hardly requires all four of us,” voiced Harry, and Eggsy could tell he was low-key insulted by the idea. “I’m certain Eggsy and I could handle this on our own.”

“Actually…” Whiskey and Tequila shared a look. “All considering, we thought you guys might like to stay behind, for a while longer, help speed along Merlin’s recovery process.”

“Great,” Eggsy breathed, grateful for the opportunity to spend more time working his favorite Scotsman back into a healthy riled up state. “We”—

“Will join you on the mission,” Harry stated firmly, and that was that. Again, Eggsy didn’t push. He didn’t want to push, not now, not when the spy shit was beginning to make sense to him again. Harry was alive, Merlin was a live, and now they had a mission worth the fate of the world. Eggsy counted his fucking blessings and fell into step.

“It’s good to hear your boy’s making a comeback,” Tequila said, the first toothy grin Eggsy had seen in a long while plastered on his face. He extended his hand to Harry. “It’s always nice to see the good one’s live.”

Harry took his hand and shook on it.

Eggsy rolled his eyes.

“Eggsy and I should be visiting him one last time, before we depart, if you’d care to join us?”

“He ain’t going nowhere,” Tequila replied, looking Eggsy’s way. “I’ma go gear up the plane and prepare for take-off.”

“Fair enough.” Harry turned to Whiskey. “Whiskey, care to join us?”

“Next time,” Whiskey answered, strangely reluctant to turn down Harry’s offer. Whiskey didn’t do much to disguise her intentions, Eggsy realized, which was equal parts refreshing and frustrating. It was as if Eggsy could always sense her holding something back, it was mindboggling. “I’ll help Tequila prepare the plane. Enjoy your visit.”

“See ya, Champ.”

“Champ.”

Champagne waved them off with his lips latched onto another glass of whisky.

“Well,” Harry turned to Eggsy. “Shall we?”

Eggsy spent most of the walk back staring at the back of Harry’s head. How did the man’s brain work, he wondered? He’d been a certifiable nutter, some weeks ago, but now Eggsy wouldn’t go all out and say no permanent damage had been done just yet.

“Are you mental?”

“As of my last medical evaluation, no.”

Eggsy put in the effort to walk in lockstep with Harry’s broader stride.

“They letting us spend time with Merlin and you can’t wait to get away. Why?”

“Because time is of the essence, Eggsy. We’ve got a mess in need of cleaning and I’ll be damned if there’s innocent blood on our hands, if I can help it.”

“Hey.” Eggsy whipped Harry around by the sleeve of his immaculate suit. “You walk too fucking fast.”

“Or maybe you just walk too slow.”

“No, I’m not the height of a fucking tower like some people.”

“No, you’re more akin to a hobbit.”

“What’s your deal, Harry?” Eggsy asked, attempting to square off with his taller colleague. “Do you love him?”

“What?”

“Merlin,” Eggsy clarified, and the look of inescapable alarm on Harry’s face was so very gratifying… “Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Eggsy exclaimed, smiling encouragingly, “then spend some fucking time on him.”

Harry seemed to consider this, which is all Eggsy could ask for, since the older man rarely took any of his advice outside of work-related issues. He looked him up and down, his one eye searching, and managed what Eggsy had dubbed Harry’s signature frown of contentment.

“I don’t remember you being so astute on the subject of relationships.”

“What can I say?” Eggsy shrugged, smirking. “Marriage’s tossing me crash courses left and right. You’d be proud of my ability to adapt under pressure.”

“Always,” Harry said, smiling, “and selfishly relieved. Kingsman has never gone out of its way to discourage personal relations among colleagues, though, it is frowned upon.” Harry’s eye wandered the walls of the white-on-white corridor. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happily surprised by how accepting you are of this.”

“Why, ‘cause you’re a poofter?” Eggsy said, gaining Harry’s hawk-like stare, but the older man quickly adopted a small smile in the face of Eggsy’s good-natured tease. “Contrary to popular belief, not all blokes from Camden are raging homophobic dickheads. My mates would give you more shit for looking like a snobby wanker.”

“I suppose I could live with that.”

Harry and Eggsy proceeded their trek from the conference room, past the control room, to back at the infirmary ward of the Statesman’s secret, underground facilities.

“Merlin’s only just come about and we have to jet,” Eggsy complained, shaking his head. “How sucky is that?”

“I’m more concerned with how Merlin will react when we tell him he can’t come with us,” Harry murmured, opening the door to Merlin’s room.

“Hey!” Merlin exclaimed, a drumstick in hand, smiling at Eggsy and Harry. He sat in the upright position, inclined by the mechanism of his hospital bed. “You’re back.”

“What the bloody hell is this?” Harry asked, his eye looking over the hospital bed table of fried chicken pieces, scones, and mash with loosely veiled admonishment.

“I said I was peckish,” Merlin supplied, munching down.

“For food,” Harry clarified, “not this rubbish.”

“Snob.”

“Pleb.”

“We’re in Kentucky, I love Kentucky Fried Chicken, problem solved.”

“Under any other circumstance, I’d say indulge at your own risk, but miraculously surviving a detonated land mine often changes one’s priorities.”

“Is that so?” Merlin stopped eating, staring Harry dead on, before looking to Eggsy. “Eggsy, care for some?”

“Sure.” Eggsy broke from Harry’s side to join Merlin, picking up another drumstick. “If only to stop you from eating all this, you stupid sod. Harry’s right—you can’t be eating this crap. You just got blown up.”

Merlin took another defiant bite of his chicken leg.

“I’ll have to have a talk with Statesman staff, before we depart,” Harry sighed, readjusting his glasses. “You shouldn’t even be sitting up, by all accounts.”

“I disagree,” Merlin said, swallowing. “I feel fine, better than fine, I feel great. Where are we going?”

“You’re not going anywhere, remember?” Harry made perfectly clear. “Eggsy and I are going on a mission.”

“Huh.” Merlin seemed to be thinking something over, and Eggsy felt a bit dickish knowing they had no choice but to leave him behind. Merlin looked forward to a mission more so than most of them, as even Eggsy sensed the man getting stir crazy with having to always hold up in a control room. That unspoken desire to get back in the field had been partially responsible for Merlin accompanying Harry and Eggsy to Poppyland. Eggsy frowned, realizing it was a desire for field work that had landed Merlin in a hospital bed absent two legs. “Where to?”

“Right, yeah, so you can track down our whereabouts and join us?” Eggsy frowned.

“…The thought crossed my mind,” Merlin admitted, again grinning, the stubble growth on his face making him up like a charming grifter. Maybe they weren’t giving the man enough credit, Eggsy thought. Maybe, just maybe, Merlin was up to snuff and ready to partake in the demands of active duty. Eggsy couldn’t believe he was even entertaining this thought, having just seen the man awaken less than an hour ago, but the small winces and slow movements of his pained condition now appeared nonexistent.

Eggsy’d spent enough time in and out of emergency before Kingsman to know what a normal recovery time looked like and, in Merlin, he saw none of that. Eggsy looked Merlin once over, wondering whether whoever helped him cheat death not only saved his life but fashioned him with more than just a set of prosthetic legs.

“What the hell did they do to you?” Harry uttered, taking the words right out of Eggsy’s mouth.

Merlin looked up at Eggsy and Harry both, frowning. “What?”

An alarm went off, a small, high-pitched squeal that hit Eggsy and Harry’s ears in annoying as fuck fashion. It was coming from their glasses, accompanied by a flashing red message reading ALERT in all caps.

“Looks like we got ourselves an intruder abroad, gentlemen,” Tequila’s voice rang out from the room’s built-in P.A. system. “Sending visual now.”

The perimeter of his glasses continued to flash a glowing, transparent red, but a new window view expanded before Eggsy’s vision. It was of the tailor shop front’s interior, closed down for the evening, except there was indeed a figure moving about the otherwise empty establishment. A woman with a petite frame, blondish hair, and an unassuming appearance but a dangerous skillset searched the rooms of the tailor shop as if on a mission.

“Who’s this pretty little thing, I wonder?”

Eggsy stared longingly into his glasses, in a state of disbelief. “Roxy?”

[survivor-guyana]

Episode 12 - "tbh I totally forgot we were playing Fans vs Favorites." - Jones

So here I am. Maynor got blindsided, TJ had an idol and didn't tell me about it, and I've been on the bottom of 3/4 merge votes (I don't count Unanimous bc that's a twist so we HAd to work together) everyone has basically lied to me at some point, and all of my relationships are fractured in some way or another. Alyssa gave me her explanation why everything went down the way it did: She heard that TJ babbled to Jess that Aidan was going against Alyssa/Devon/Jess, so they confronted him with this information and flipped back to the otherside (alongside dani obviously.) HOWEVER Alyssa believes that TJ and Maynor were the ones campaigning against her, and didn't think I had anything to do with it at all (hehehehe), but because the "majority alliance" had been worried about TJ having an idol, their only options were either me or Maynor. Alyssa then told me that Aidan had been trying to throw my name out all day, but she kept me safe (HEHEHEHE) so boom.  This also lead me to the realization that TJ doesn't really trust me and he never did. If he did, he would've been able to confide in me if he found the idol (which he did) and he DID, in fact, leak to the other side that Aidan/Dani were flipping (when he said he hadn't heard anything at all). If TJ told the truth about the situation, I do think Maynor and I wouldn't have tried as hard to save him, and Maynor would still be in this game. I told him i would tell him if I heard anything, but he's most definitely on the bottom, and i most likely will be voting him out if he doesn't win immunity. (hopefully he doesn't, if he does, it's either me or chelsea.) after all of this information was being processed in my itty bitty brain, I most definitely had a mental breakdown. My brain stopped processing everything that came to mind all together. and all I could do was draw a blank and laugh to myself. I was hopeless, there was no plan moving forward and I was trapped as a "goat" once again for the eventual winner of Tumblr Survivor Guyana: Fans Vs. Favorites 7... who am I kidding? Guacamole Jones doesn't just give up that easily. Aidan and Dani had expressed that they wanted to flip before the whole TJ fiasco. If I can find a way to separate myself from him and squeeze my fat ass into any cracks i can, then I will. but it will probably end in me having to do a bit more exposing to Aidan about Alyssa. (specifically about her leaking info to me.) If I can get them to my side, I have them as allies, and I also have Chelsea. so hypothetically that would be 4 ( + 1 with Aidan's vote steal) vs 3, and we can easily sweep the majority. obviously this is an act to save myself, however, this may mean more to me than that. When I said that I wanted people to play their own games, I actually meant it. Everyone deserves to fight for their spot in the game, and should fight for their case to stay. Right now it feels like everyone is playing into Alyssa's hand, and i'm not here for it at all. so i'm gonna try to do something about it.

Buckle up bitches, it's "Tea-Time" with Jess.

Today's Topic is: "Another round, another mess".

I'm going through some SHIT.

The last couple of rounds I've been trying to do the whole "let's minimize Jess's threat level" and that shit isn't working out. I'm ironically getting credit for moves and taking out people who I can honestly say I had no say in whatsoever. I've literally done nothing in this game except be a NUMBER. The only move I've made? Is getting out Sammy but I don't think I can take FULL CREDIT FOR THAT.

So I'm kind of annoyed I'm getting way more credit than I deserve because I've been down this path before. People are using myself/Alyssa as their shields and making the moves they want to do because they won't get the blame BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT: Alyssa and I will. That'll get us taken out of this game within the next couple of rounds GUARANTEED.

I've compromised so much in this game. I basically screwed my relationship with TJ up. That shit sucks but as a player he's DANGEROUS but he was my kind of dude? Hopefully he can see the numbers/odds are stacked against him and he'll have no choice BUT TO WORK WITH ME. So let's pray that happens or else big yikes x10000.

On the next next subject that is ANNOYING ME TO NO GOD DAMN END.

J-O-N-E-S <INSERT KERMIT HANGING HIMSELF MEME HERE>. I don't get the appeal as her as a PLAYER. I get the appeal for her as a PERSON OUTSIDE OF THE GAME..... she seems awesome, relatable, funny.

HOWEVER IN THIS GAME SHE'S: Messy, annoying, and CAN NOT BE TRUSTED.

YET..... the person I consider my #1, the person who I've basically fucked up my game multiple times for bye putting my foot down every time someone tries to take her out.... STILL FUCKING TRUSTS HER?! <INSERT I DON'T UNDERSTAND DANCING GIF HERE>. I DON'T G-E-T- I-T. Jones went around last round spreading Alyssa's name. I'm almost 99.9% CERTAIN. It's so obvious she threw fucking Alyssa under the bus with the Dani vote. That shit came out when Maynor wasn't even ON. HOW DOES SHE NOT SEE THIS?!

All signs are pointing to Jones selling Alyssa out. Detective Jess will take a look at the EVIDENCE: 1. Maynor was not on when TJ was spreading the fact that Alyssa threw out Dani's name. 2. Alyssa only told Maynor/Jones about the Dani vote (50% chance Jones did it.. YAY MATH!). 3. JONES ADMITTED SHE KNEW MAYNOR THREW HER UNDER THE BUS BUT DID NOT TELL HER? LIKE WHAT KIND OF CRACK IS SHE SMOKING?! 4. We've shaded Jones twice in a row with a vote. Of course home girl doesn't TRUST YOU IN THIS GAME. 5. Jones was M.I.A yesterday however, in the main chat she said she'd be ON.

Alyssa not believing Jones had anything to do with her name going around last vote is something I can't look past. I'm at a loss with what to do right now.

ALSO them adding me to the GOLDEN QUEENS when I SPECIFICALLY asked them to do it after this game is SO SUSPECT. All of a sudden I fucking tell Alyssa I'm doubting Jones... I get added to a casual chat with Jones?! I don't fucking understand these people. How obvious do you think this is? Do you think I was born fucking a second ago? I'm just-

D O N E

This stage of the game is crucial for me personally. I don't believe the F5 will consist of myself, Jess, Alyssa, Dani, and Aidan. I think that Dani is over-paranoid more often than not, and Aidan will be smart enough to not let his advantage go to waste.

I am trying to plant a seed in Alyssa's head that we need to flip on Dani and Aidan at the F7, and hopefully she bites the bait. If this works, maybe we can boot Alyssa and leave Jess scrambling? I would rather sit with Dani and Aidan in the F3

I’m over like, 80% of these people. They really think they’re being “slick” or “sneaky” or “good at the game” just because they’re being vague with me? That’s 👏 not 👏 how 👏 I 👏 ROLL 👏 HONEY 👏👏👏 like HONESTLY did they really think I wouldn’t realize I’m getting voted out? Ofc alyssa wants to go to the end with most of these people, it’s bc they’re so obviously bad at being slick. ON TOP OF ALL OF IT you think you can get away with being “sneaky” after you blindsided me NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 3 FUCKING TIMES? Lied to my FACE??? Okay. Sure. Play like that. God, these people are really playing into alyssa’s hand, huh? Do they not want to play for themself for once? That’s literally the only thing I want from everyone. Actually that’s not true but its fine. I want them to be HONEST AND TELL ME IM BEING VOTED OUT. AAAAAND I want them to play for themselves. Like play the fucking game or don’t sign up for it imo. I’m over it. Thank god people like Aidan exists though. He seems like he’s genuinely ready to fuck shit up, and I’m just excited to call him and expose the fuck out alyssa. Hell, even if I get voted out, I trust him to go against the grain and actually take a stance. He’s the hero of the season for a REASON lmao. But yeah I’ll keep y’all posted, but It looks like I’m getting 8th place! Which !!! Doesn’t!!!! SOund!!!!! GOOD AT ALL!!! Last time I found out I wasn’t getting voted Johnny as worried about my mental well being. Let’s just,,,, hope for the best this time LMao

I. Dont. Like. Sneaks. In touchy subjects, i was voted as the person who has no idea what's going on, but apparently TJ made a chat with everyone but Dani, Aidan, and I to keep himself safe?? I have talked to him every day at some point and I'm PISSED that he tried to make a chat to potentially target one of us three (who AREN'T EVEN THREATS) to keep himself safe. I will work with anyone who stays loyal and doesn't make everything a shit show, but when you talk to me all the time and go behind my back........ bye. If he stays, he has some explaining to do. Maybe he *knows* i wouldn't vote for him and doesn't see why I should be in on the chat, but in this case, I SHOULD have been in on it. If I find out that he wants to target me, haaaaaaaahahahaa.

I guess 5th and 8th isn't the worst record ever... It just sucks this is how it's going to end.

I think TJ is finally going home since we kinda forced him to use his idol last tribal. Idk I’m tired

Hi so Aidan is literally the love of my life?? We’re actually on the same page/have the same allies and whatnot, so I’m feeling a lot better knowing that we’re allies. We basically agreed that TJ is too much of a fucking mess to keep around right now, so if we get him out then we’ll still have majority on the rest of the group!! So woohoo!!! Also? TJ proposed that there’s an all fans alliance and tbh I totally forgot we were playing Fans v Favorites. Just Bc aidan specifically wanted to target alyssa the round before. But legit,,,, why wouldn’t you target alyssa is my question??? Um but yeah I wouldn’t be shocked if i got votes tonight, but we shall see?? Hopefully I live to see another round, but right now I wanna fuckin sleep

Okay #2. TJ seems to think that Jess and Devon would vote Dani with me and him which just isn't true. I will not vote Dani because she hasn't caused any issues for me or made me feel threatened. TJ making his chat in the first place tells me that he was perfectly fine if me, Dani, or Aidan went home, but I guess as long as someone else said the name, he wouldn't get as much shit for it. He has really put a target on his back by doing this and I am a little bit hurt by it. But contrary to TJ's belief about voting tonight, we're not as divided as he thinks we are.

Me this round:

Very happy that I have immunity again but I already know that people are going to start saying I'm an "immunity threat" and it's going to annoy me. People look for ANY reason to point a target on anyone and I'm sort of expecting it? I'm already preparing responses for those kind of things.

Today was interesting because TJ was apparently desperate and making pleas to everybody that could listen (which somehow excluded Dani, Chelsea and I) but he eventually made his rounds to Dani anyway. I'm really hoping that he goes tonight because he tanked his whole game and I want him to feel EMBARRASSED and DEVASTATED for even daring to cross me in the way he did. If he listened to me and just followed my lead then he'd still be in the game WITH an idol. Thomas Pascucci is a passive aggressive little snake who loves to play the victim... but I'm hoping as we move into the 7 things get interesting.

I had a good talk with Jonesy today that confirmed a lot of my suspicions and she told me that she wanted to get out Alyssa. I was shook because I thought they were close, which they are, because I had heard she was in her confessional or something. I don't care but this anxious bitch better not be trying to play me either... but Devon seems to want to make a move too because he mentioned something about me/Dani/him needing to decide the next move. I feel like something ALWAYS goes down at 7 in Survivor history so I think everybody is anxious going into this next vote. My talk with Jones also brought my trust for Jess into question... there's a lot she kept from me (and a lot I kept from her, I do admit) but she's equally as messy but I think getting rid of Alyssa will force her into my back pocket more.

At this point there are a lot of small sub groups and alliances and deals and I don't even have an idea who the jury would love or hate. I like to think I have a good shot but it might be my ego... it's all going to be based on who tries to CLAIM different moves I think, or who gets crazy at this point in the game.

In regards to Devon I trust him more now after this round. I think he's more committed to the Massholes F3 than Alyssa/Jess but I'm not sure. I want to get on a call with him and feel him out. Maybe I can offer an F2 to him to ensure his loyalty.

But I also want to go the distance with Dani/Jess. It's a very complicated game and I feel like every boot looking forward needs to be INTENTIONAL. The endgame is near and I'm nervous but at least I still have my Opal Idol. I don't want to fuck up using that either.

DRUNK CONFESSIONAL WOOOO

I keep thinking to myself "how the fuck did i make F7?" because part of me is like,, genuinely shocked i've made it this far? It doesn't really feel real? But then I like, remind myself of where I started in this game and how it got me to where I am now. And THEN i started thinking about Ko Chang, and then I keep thinking about how much I've grown since then? last time around F7 I was like,, cowering in fear that the majority alliance would destroy me? or something like that? it was a few months ago i just remember crying a lot. BUT WOW!! I really did it huh. Final 7. I feel like this time i'm actually comfortable enough to like,,,, do things now. I'd like to say I set myself up pretty nicely? My talk with Aidan was really successful and we're gonna try taking out Alyssa this round with Dani and Chelsea. Worst case scenario - we still have Aidan's vote steal. If alyssa wins immunity - we'll probably go for Jess? we haven't really talked about that yet? but oh well. we'll have to wait and see. hopefully my 14/20 in the spelling bee is good enough <3

Twelve Hours Later........

Wow 👏 love it when 👏 the one thing 👏 that I want to 👏 NOT 👏 happen 👏 FUCKING 👏 HAPPENS 👏👏👏 So like ok alyssa won immunity and I was THJS FUCKJNG CLOSE KM GONNA PISS MY PANTS ok ok besides the point everything’s fine it’s totally fine we’re all fine hahahahjaha But ummm I already talked to Aidan about what we should do and I think we’re both in agreeance that Jess should go? I think she’s the next best thing behind alyssa. Plus even if she doesn’t go,, I want her to HAVE VOTES LIKE !!!! JOIN THE CLUB!!! But also,, part of me is worried that i’m getting played. While I think aidan’s a genuine person when it comes to wanting the big threats out - how am I supposed to know if he thinks I’M one of the big threats, yk? But I do genuinely think he wants Alyssa/Jess/Devon out before anyone else. Even if that eventually leaves me vulnerable at F4, that’s fine. I can always go on an immunity run or smth if I ever become good at comps :)

But rn,, in the words of Jonathan Stockton: “I’m going to kms”

Dear Jones, If there's ONE thing I've learnt in this game..... it's to NEVER trust a girl who cries more than a pregnant lady.. ever.

Your crocodile tears don't phase me one bit. I've been saying for a while now that you're sketchier than a crackhead in an alleyway.

Your attempt at screwing me over was expected.. Your attempt to screw over Alyssa.... now that shit hurts. That's your BEST FRIEND Jones.. someone who literally has vouched for you to SOOO many people when they were coming after you (me included).

I HONESTLY WANT YOU GONE LIKE.... YESTERDAY.

No amount of dad jokes or Kermit memes are gonna get her out of this mess..

However, I do have ONE LAST DAD JOKE FOR YOU.

Me: Jones, I'm on I'm the jury. Jones: Hi I'm on the jury, I'm dad.. oh wait.

Sincerely, Jess. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The fact that Aidan hasn't come to me yet with the fucking lies Jones has been spreading is concerning. I can't try and save his ass now because of that. I want to save him but how the fuck do I try and defend the guy who is paranoid about me? I could sell out Devon but that does me NO GOOD right now.

7th here I come?!

I feel like every round I say something to someone I risk getting exposed. LIKE ???? Ik I said I felt okay before but I feel like I’m /too/ okay if that makes sense. I told Aidan that his name and Chelsea’s name was thrown out there by Devon. He THINKS that Chelsea’s the one who threw it out there though. Which ISNT how it was supposed to work!! We had a plan to get out Jess what are you dOING!!! NOW aidan’s gonna go to Devon to see where he heard it from. Like???? Might as well just call me out for being a snake now before it’s too late :) why’d Alyssa have to win immunity. She’s the only person who COULDNT WIN!! Why? Bc I HAD TO WIN OR ELSE ID BE DEAD. THIS ISNT HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK IN MY FANTASY!!!!!  But,, at least it’s not my name out there. Better anyone else but mine :0 so I don’t think my name will come up? I think the only person who came up with my name was Aidan, and now he’s like,, my new best friend? So yeehaw that’s nice. ,,,,, hopefully The Godfather— I MEAn alyssa doesn’t catch on to my snakiness.

Ugh this group is so nice and there is no particular person that I want to vote out over the other. Devon and Jones seem to want to vote with me and Aidan has talked to me a bunch. Aidan has been my social game person meaning he gives me info on people and has helped me a few times with staying safe and making moves. Last round, he told me about the chat that TJ made which I would have never known about if he didn't tell me. It wasn't a huge deal because people didn't respond and ended up voting him anyway, but still! Knowing that TJ voted me and was potentially targeting me with other people before tribal was information that I needed and Aidan provided. Even though the vote was unanimous, it was still a good thing to band together with him and Dani to make sure a few others were on the same page for the TJ vote.

Now that TJ is gone, I honestly do not know who to vote next. Do I vote Aidan because even though he has been super helpful, he is still a social threat and is killing challenges? Do I vote Dani because I have talked to her least? Do I vote Jess because it would break up the suspicious Jess/Alyssa duo? Do I vote Jones or Devon just because? I don't know what's going to happen tonight because people might have idols to use (or maybe not!) At this point in the game, I'll be sad with whoever goes but I'm ready to vote anyone who isn't me. Maybe that makes me a huge biotch, but it will get me to where I need to be, especially because I haven't played my best game this season. If I do go home tonight, I'm just happy I made it into the single digits :)

So like, I'm finally coming back around to potentially work with Devon, Jess, and Alyssa which I'm happy about because with me, we are the majority this round. At first I wasn't completely against voting Jess, but after hearing that my name was out there and reaching out to Devon, I needed to talk to Jess and see what she wanted to do. Then, Devon told me that if I want Aidan out, going to Jones and Dani isn't a great idea (since they are probs working together), so I needed to tread lightly from then on out. Thank god I never initially gave a clear answer to Jones and Dani on who I definitely want gone because Aidan might have a vote steal and will come for me or all of us lmfao.

I told Jones that I wasn't totally against voting Jess and told Dani and Jones that I wanted to vote with them, just to give them the idea that they would have majority with Aidan....(but I'm not. I am so sorry for flipping on y'all.) I feel awful lying to people because I hate being completely blindsided and not knowing who to trust, but I am doing this vote for me to help MY game.

I feel so dirty with this vote because I know I am going to lose trust in Jones and Dani, AND Aidan if this doesn't work and he ends up staying. I am the swing vote though and so I feel like I have a lot of pressure on me. Do I vote with Dani, Aidan, and Jones to get Jess out? Or do I vote with my Hosororo people and vote out Aidan? Jess is not a threat to me, because I feel like we play a similar game but I may talk to more people. She seems more predictable imo than Aidan. Aidan however, has won multiple challenges, has a killer social game, and poses as a much bigger threat to me if I was to make it farther in the game with him.

I need to vote to benefit myself for this round and that means I need Aidan gone. I am not good enough to win in challenges against someone like Aidan but I think I *might* have a chance if he gets voted out this round.

I lost immunity by ONE and I'm pissed because now I'm a ball of anxiety and mess. I feel like fucking Jess the way I think I'm going home.

Right now I think it's going to be a straightforward Chelsea vote but stranger fucking things have happened? I'm expecting something wild to go down but my senses aren't tingling that something is happening /to me/ so I'm likely gonna save my Opal Idol for next week which is the last week that I can play it!

I don't know how I feel about the game going forward because there are a lot of deals and I think people trust me but I'm not sure. I'm really solid with my Massholes F3 but also my sub deal with Jess and I really trust a majority of this game. Other people? Not so much.

I think if Chelsea goes we'll definitely have an interesting F6 round

Confessional #3 because things can never just be simple. I ate a bowl of ice cream so now I'm all sugar and FIRED UP. You know what? I'm not feeling so bad if Aidan goes home tonight because apparently he wanted me out and thinks it's gonna be a 6-1 vote against me. Tbh I'm pissed lmao. Devon is telling Jones to vote me so that she doesn't suspect me and Devon working together, so I'm not reaching out to her or Dani anymore until they come to me. Devon doesn't think that Jones will vote for me but honestly who knows? Jones also thinks that I would vote Jess so I can't be too mad if people turn around and vote me. This is probably the round that best describes the "outwit" portion of the game because we're down to 7 people and half of the tribe had their names going around (me, Aidan, Jess, even Dani because Aidan tried to bait me into saying I would vote her.)

JESUS. Now Devon's name has been brought up. Devon told Jones that maybe I should go to get rid of any suspicion that I am working with him, but now apparently Jones told Aidan we should vote Devon..... I'm literally shook by how many names we have filtered through. Who knows, maybe this will be a 6-1 vote for me and I'm going home.

If I go home tonight, I'm telling them in my final words that I had an idol but didn't think I needed it this round, so I gave it to someone else.... and to have fun figuring out who it is :)

I'm literally? so fucking mindboggled right now? i don't know whether I should feel sick or not. like,,, I thought Aidan and I were "on the same wavelength" or something like that. suddenly at 9:45 (15 minutes before tribal might i add) he's just like "we can't do this" like??? YES WE CAN!!! THIS IS THE ONLY LOGICAL TIME TO USE THE FUCKING VOTE STEAL!!!!!!! IF WE USE IT AT F6 WE CAN ONLY TIE IT, BUT IT'LL BE USELESS BECAUSE WE CAN'T USE THE STEAL IN A FUCKING REVOTE!!! THERE IS!!! NO POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally,, if I knew the temptation was a fucking vote steal and I knew I'd end up in THIS SITUATION RIGHT NOW then this wouldn't be an issue. I sound like an asshole. but oh!! my!!! GOD!!! YOU SAY YOU WANNA MAKE A MOVE!!! THSI IS THE FUCKING MOMENT!!!! MAKE THE GODDAMN MOVE OR YOU'RE GETTING PICKED OFF IN THIS FUCKING GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I really can't believe this. and I thought I had hope. sorry i'm so fucking pissed i'm probably gonna lose chelsea over this. this is not her time to go. I fucking hate this. everyone in this game needs to step the fuck up and i'm angry. i'm probably gonna regret this tomorrow, but i don't fucking care.

We were gonna get alyssa out this round for being shady with jones. But she won the immunity. Now we are getting Chelsea I think. I was going to make a video but I’m so tired.  Loool sorry

Aidan has been bothering me about flipping the votes over and over again from Chelsea to Jones to Jess

I know this is coming to the end, so big moves NEED to be made. I'll be throwing Chelsea a bone of trust and see if she grabs at it. If all works well, maybe we can get the most powerful player out of the game??? Last male standing

[artificialqueens]

See You in April

Hey guys! So, this is my first ever submit so please, be open with me and give me any and all prompts/criticisms/feedback, all will be greatly appreciated. The name’s New Queen on the Block, but no one has time to type that out so NQOTB will do just fine!

I’m currently working on a couple of one shots and possibly another series, but for now I’m planning this as a three-parter (unless you all hate it, in that case I shall never write a word again.) But for now, here’s some real-world Trixya angst, technically set in the future as it is set after Katya comes back from her current social media break and was inspired by Trixie’s comment on her Insta post explaining her impending absence. For any eagle eyed readers who may remember my ask, this will also incorporate Trixya’s original music that she has been performing on her Ages 3 and Up tour. At the moment it’s Katya’s POV, may switch it with each chapter. And don’t worry, there is plenty of smut and fluff in the works to please as many people as possible! Enjoy :) 

The door of the plane opened and the Los Angeles heat smacked Brian in the face immediately. The last six weeks that he had been in Thailand had been during monsoon season so he had almost forgotten what the sun felt like on his paling skin. He drank it in whilst making his way into the airport and let a small smile creep onto his face. Home.

He always had the luck of being the last person left at baggage claim, so he sat himself down and switched his phone on for the first time in almost two months and prepared himself for the tide of messages to start coming in. Well fuck me, Barbra, people really do give a shit about you. 347 unread texts, 1,409 unread emails (that his assistant said she would handle, the cunt) and more tweets and DM’s and mentions than he could ever possibly count. This was going to take days to sort through. He quickly tapped onto his inbox and scrolled through to find the people he wanted to text to let them know he had landed safely - his mom, his sister, and his assistant. They were the only ones that knew where he had been so for now they were the only ones that needed replying to. Still, his eyes darted around looking for one other name to see if contact had been made. It had. But he couldn’t deal with that right now.

“Uh, excuse me, you’re Katya right?” A young girl he had recognised from the departure lounge in Bangkok came up to him and looked sheepishly at the ground after she finished speaking. She obviously knew he was still taking his break and didn’t want to hound him, which he thought was incredibly endearing.

“I sure am Mom! What’s up doll?” He tried to make himself sound as cheery as possible even though the thought of being asked for a selfie right now made him want to yank his own eyeball out. The girl giggled and shuffled in her feet.

“Don’t worry I’m not gonna ask for anything, I just figured that all the red luggage with the hammer and sickle on it was yours and it’s going round on the belt right about now.”

“Fuck, no way! Thanks Barbra.” Brian grabbed his backpack and went to run towards his luggage before he stopped and turned back on his feet towards the girl. He shoved his hand into the front pocket of his backpack, gave the girl one of the tiny hands that was hiding in there, and kissed her square on the mouth whilst he took a photo. “For being so cool, that’s the first picture I’ll post when I’m back on Instagram. Bye princess!”

His assistant Amy was waiting outside for him in her basic white girl SUV. He gave her a hug, threw his luggage in the trunk and crawled into the back seat and spread out as wide as he could. A 16 hour flight in a tiny cramped seat after 6 weeks of stretching your body and contorting it in inhuman ways was torturous. “Uhhhhhhh, holy suburban family spacious comfort Batman!”

“Alright bitch, calm down. I’ve had your bodily fluids in my car far too much for my liking.” They giggled as Amy climbed into the front seat and headed off towards Brian’s apartment. The conversation stayed pretty normal for a while, with Brian filling her in on everything he did during his trip and all the new techniques he had learnt. Amy filled him in on what had been happening on How To Get Away With Murder and all sub-par Hollywood gossip. She was just in the middle of explaining Annalise Keating’s newest weave when Brian could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. He figured it was his mom calling so excitedly took his phone from his pocket and signalled for Amy to pause the conversation. When he saw the name on the screen, his heart fell into his ass. I’ve been back not even an hour. What the fuck?

His face must have dropped because he could see Amy looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and turned the music up on the radio. Amy reached over and turned it down again. Oh good, I’m not getting away with it.

“You gonna pick up at all or is this it now?” He couldn’t quite pick up on the tone in her voice but he knew she was trying to edge very carefully around the conversation.

“I don’t know. I’ve been back not even an hour, I don’t wanna deal with that shit right now. It’s why I took off in first place, Ames.”

“I get that, I totally do. But I just wanna say… the reason I haven’t got through your emails is because I’ve been hounded by him every day. Every damn day. You didn’t even tell him you were going, Bri. He was worried.”

Brian could feel the irritation bubbling up in his stomach. “Why should I tell him? Why has he got a right? I haven’t broken any kind of business agreements, no contracts have been voided, no gigs missed. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Of course you haven’t. But maybe… maybe just look at his messages. Just so you know what to expect and what you might start off saying when you do decide to open up shop again.”

He exhaled dramatically because he knew she was right, again. That bitch. He took his phone back out of his pocket and scrolled back to the night where his mind had decided he needed to make a change.

01/03/2017 21:14 Trixie: Hey, I just wanted to say thanks about telling Dan that the whole “you being attracted to me” thing is just a joke for the fans. I appreciate it, especially cos you know how much he is getting irritated by it all now. I think now that you’ve said it he won’t be worried as much. Side note - I need you to keep that tan forever because it was doing the most and I’m here for it. T x

23:03 Trixie: Are you okay, did you fall asleep? Or are you smothering yourself in tan now you know I like it? :)

00:07 Trixie: Bitch.

00:19 Trixie: Mother, I’m getting paranoid that my best friend is ignoring me again…

02:38 Trixie: Okay. I’m gonna try again tomorrow. Or you know, just let me know when you wanna hear from me. I’ll be here.

02/03/2017 08:31 Trixie: Can’t sleep. Had a dream that you totally just stopped replying to all of my texts.

22:56 Trixie: I would literally be okay with you just sending me a blank text right now so that I know you’re okay.

04/03/2017 14:10 Trixie: Social media break?

14:12 Trixie: What the fuck is going on, Kat?

14:14 Trixie: I’m worried. You’re worrying me. If that’s what you were trying to do, you’ve done it. Now please stop it and just answer your phone and let me know what it is I’ve done so I can undo it.

06/03/2017 Trixie: Someone just tweeted that they saw you at LAX???

That was the last text Brian had seen before he got on the plane. He had told his mom, his sister and Amy to not tell anyone where he was going or why, including his business partner and best friend. They all knew why even though it wasn’t discussed.

Something in his mind just clicked that first night - you need to get the fuck away from here, bitch. Away from this. Away from him. He couldn’t deal with the hot and cold any longer. How could you thank someone for reassuring their boyfriend that you weren’t fucking them in one sentence and then talk about liking their tanned body in the next? He couldn’t keep up anymore, and he didn’t want to. No, he couldn’t want to. He knew that he probably shouldn’t have ignored all of the messages but he went into lockdown mode and just got himself away as quickly as he possibly could. Part of him thought if he ignored the messages for long enough they would just go away, but of course they didn’t. They multiplied. He looked at the number in the corner of the screen. 165. One hundred and sixty fucking five texts. Hasn’t this bitch been touring constantly? Every single day, he had texted him a variation of asking him where he was, if he was safe and if there was anything to do to make things right. There were a few bitchy remarks, and apologies straight after them, but otherwise it was the same worry every day. It was the most consistent he’d seen him with anything other than his make up.

“Well, he’s sure held onto this one. If he knew my phone was off and he’s still sent me this many texts then I feel sorry for your phones asshole cos he must have fucked it.”

They pulled up outside Brian’s apartment block. “It wasn’t just me. He called your mom too. Went to Boston for a gig and went to her house asking if you were there. He’s been commenting on old pictures of you two online. And posting videos of him playing old country songs looking like he’s about to burst into tears. The fans have been clocking it, all the queens are starting to murmur too.”

Brian burst into a fit of awkward laughter that quickly transformed into a worried grimace. “Are you for real?”

“I wish I wasn’t. Bri, I think he’s really caught up about you leaving. You might wanna check your voicemail too - he called me two nights ago drunk as a skunk telling me he had called you and left you a message.”

“Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all of his carpenter friends. I’ll check when I get upstairs. Thanks for picking me up, babe.” He kissed Amy goodbye and lugged his suitcases into the building, up into the elevator and then finally through the door of his apartment. He collapsed onto his sofa and took a minute to process everything Amy had just told him. He went to Boston? He’s being a messy bitch all over the Internet? He’s getting drunk and leaving voicemails?

The voicemail. This should be interesting. He put his phone on speaker and played the message as he made himself a coffee to stop this jet lag from taking him too soon. He pressed play - all he could hear was background noise, in a bar or club, some shouting, a familiar voice slurring “fuck you” to someone and then the din quieting down as the other Brian presumably made his way outside of the bar.

“Katya? Katya, did you pick up? Kat? Hellooooo? Answer me you whore. Hey, fuck you buddy, I’ll be as loud as I want my FRIEND IS ON THE PHONE AND I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!”

Oh lord, he was wasted. What a sloppy bitch! What was he playing at just picking a fight with a stranger? Brian continued to listen as he found the coffee beans and chucked them into the fancy machine Trixie had bought him for his birthday last year. He could hear some kind of muted shouting as Trixie presumably gave the innocent stranger a mouthful of her whiskey-fuelled frustration.

“Kat, you still there? A-are you there? Answer me… please.” Brian could hear the desperation in his voice and felt a pang in his stomach. He shouldn’t have just upped and left without telling him where he was going. If Trixie had done the same thing he would have scoured the earth until he found him. But that was different - he loved him. He heard a muffled sob and could picture him, on his own, worried out of his mind that he had done something to push his friend over the edge so far that he had to disappear altogether. You’re a real dick, Barbra. 

“I just want to know that you’re okay and that you’re safe. Your mom told me you were and I believe her but I need to hear you say it. I need to see your face, hear your voice, anything. Fucking anything. It’s been six weeks, Kat. Six weeks!” Uh oh, here it came - the Trixie Mattel Drunken Temper Tantrum. “Why the fuck have you left me here for six fucking weeks? Why don’t you want me in your life any more? I can’t deal with this. I have to see you or I’m going to lose my mind. Why would you just up and leave? Don’t you understand that I love you?! I love you, Brian. I love you.”

He dropped his mug full on scalding hot coffee on to his feet, but he couldn’t feel a thing. He had gone completely numb at the sound of the words he had always wanted to hear. He ran towards the phone as if it was Trixie there in person. He had to be closer, somehow. It had gone quiet on the other side as the younger man realised what he had allowed his lips to release.

“Shit. Fuck. Fucking stupid. You’re not even gonna hear this anyway so it’s whatever. Hey listen, if you’re with Violet or Alaska or whoever and you’re listening to this next to them then just… enjoy the laugh. You’re welcome”

Silence.

He stared at the phone for a good five minutes, as if something else might magically happen. When it didn’t, he played the message three more times until he regained the feeling in his limbs and his heart travelled down from the back of his throat. His feet moved before his brain did and he found himself grabbing his keys and heading towards the door. He had to go to him. He threw open the front door and found Trixie sitting on the floor opposite, head in his hands. He jumped at the sound of the door and quickly threw down his hood. The light in the hallway shone down harshly onto his face, showing puffy lids and reddened eyes that couldn’t have slept for the past couple of days. He yanked his sleeves over his hands and got up sheepishly, glancing up to the older man’s eyes, down to the floor and then straight back up to meet his gaze with a faltered sigh.

“Can we talk?”

[notyetjaded1]

1-117 :) please answer all of them

omg. 

don’t mind me as i just use this as an excuse not to stare at my own face until i go to sleep

previously asked questions here & here! 

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Oooooh. The state of the world and politics and equality issues, figuring out my life purpose and real abilities, why I always have the inspiration to film at the most inopportune moments, and fucking taxes, man. 

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Actually…yes! Sometimes! People are super cute.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Fuck no. Not in the slightest. And yet here I am, sharing my life on social media and video. Constantly. Weird. 

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Sleeping. Because I’m secretly 80 years old. Don’t judge me. 

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

No one. Because I don’t get drunk outside of definitely safe spaces. Because I’m paranoid af and, as we just discerned, do not trust people. 8: Are you close with your dad?Relatively, yeah! :D9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?Lol, nope, sadly not. Been a little while now, actually? When did I film that Q&A…? 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?Water. Because I’d like to survive as a semi-healthy human being. And water is fucking good. 12: Do you like hickeys?Giving or receiving? Giving, fuck yes. Again, I’m a literal vampire who likes biting people far more than I should. Receiving. Ehhhhh. It’s a weird mix of, hey, I like the aesthetic of bruises and all that other pseudo-grunge bullshit and, hey, I don’t like the idea of other people having their physical mark on me. So. Yay. 13: What time do you go to bed?Fuck me, too late. I say as I try to get in bed between 9 pm and 11 pm because I have to be awake at 4:45 am to get ready for work and I know that I am constantly tired. It used to be closer to bewteen like 11 pm and 1 am in my college days and I fucking miss it because I used to be so much more productive, fuck. 14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Kind of? Yeah, I feel like there are people that I have high hopes and expectations for and yet…they never seem to be able to live up to them. Because there’s a horrid mismatch between their goals and the steps they think they need to take to achieve them. Vague. I know. And yet. But at the same time, when there’s evidence to suggest I shouldn’t trust someone with certain things, I do tend to lower my expectations so they can’t let me down, so there’s that. 15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?Nope, not at all! I am very right handed. 16: Do you always answer your texts?hahaha, no, I’m the worst. I try to get to them within a certain amount of time. But like. I really am the worst with social interactions. I apologize in advance for being a shit human being. 17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Nope. Because I have no idea who that would be. 20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?How many times have I now seen/watched Jack play Undertale and how the fuck does his screaming help me fall asleep?? 21: Is anyone else in the room with you?Not at the moment! 22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?Not in the karma kind of way; at least not really. Like, self-fulfilling prophecies, sure. You create your own expectations and then either that makes them happen or it makes you on the look out for it. But I do think if you behave a certain way, it’s bound to bite you in the ass. 23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?Not in the slightest. Four months ago fucking sucked, man. All of the family stuff going on + existential crises (literally, could not function, was so anxious) about school + do I/don’t I continue youtube, and all the world bullshit? Yeah, no. 2016? Was not a good time in my life. 25: In the past week, have you cried?I’m not even kidding, I was about a breath away from crying when I saw snow in Denmark. I’m emotional, okay. 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?Currently? Surprisingly enough, navy blue. 27: Do people ever call you by your last name?Nope! Thankfully not! 28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?LMFAO probably. 29: Do you have a best friend?One best friend? Nah. Really close friends who I adore and appreciate. Absolutely. 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?…yes because I’m secretly a very jealous and insecure person. 31: Who was your last call/text message from?@dreams–die–today!33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yup. 3 of the…4?? people. 34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?Um. Hm. twenty…six…? seven…..? we talked about it and I literally have the worst memory. Sorry. 35: How many more days until your birthday?191. Apparently. 36: Do you have any summer plans yet?Hopefully start a new job!! But we shall see! 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?Very much so. :) 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?Not necessarily keeping things? Like. Not secrets really. They just never really came up? 39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?Anyone? Not that I can really think of? 40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?Nope, can’t say I have. 41: Do you think age matters in relationships?I mean, yes, to the extent of legality, consent, maturity, and power hierarchies. 42: Are you available?In…what…way? Emotionally? No? Schedule wise? There is nothing on my calendar for 10pm on a Tuesday night? 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?Real, strong feelings in what way??? 44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?I spent my entire middle and high school life wanting lip piercings. Hardcore wannabe emo kid right here. 45: Do you believe exes can be friends?Absolutely. I think if things ended well and consensually and whatnot, you do you. :) 46: Do you regret anything?LMFAO YES. 47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?Literally too much. Should I be on YouTube, video ideas (anxiety v depression, inspiration v self-criticism, etc.), school, suicide prevention job opportunities, research, clinical work, social mishaps, etc. etc. etc. my mind is a joyous place to live. that’s a lie. 48: Did you ever lose a best friend?Not like…passing away kind of lose, but I have had best friends that I am no longer friends with. 49: Was your last kiss a mistake?Nah, I enjoyed myself. 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?Because…I don’t actually want a relationship? Plus define like? Plus again, that social anxiety thing. 51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?I…don’t…think so?52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?Literally messaging them right now. 53: What was the last thing you ate?I had some green juice thing? Hello, yes I am from LA, how could you tell? 54: Did you get any compliments today?YES BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ON TUMBLR MAKE MY HEART SING. 55: Where are you going on your next vacation?Las Vegas, I think? For Backstreet Boys! 56: Do you own anything from other countries?My brother just brought home wine from Israel, does that count? 57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?I think I have a pretty good/even mix of both! 58: Where have you lived most of your life?Los Angeles. Or the surrounding cities. For all my life. 59: When was the last time you took a long drive?Vegas, a few months ago. :) 60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?Once. I was in elementary school. Nothing happened. And then never again after that. 61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?Nope! That would be quite rude! 62: Who do you text the most?Lately?? I actually don’t know?? 63: What was the last movie you saw?Moonlight! 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?The fact that they don’t exist?? 65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?….one? I think one? Was that 2011……? Fuck, I should ask. I literally don’t recall. 66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?Nope, they’re not! 67: Do you curse around your parents?Yes, because I literally cannot help it. Don’t let me around small children. 68: Are you happy with where you live?Sure, relatively. Especially lately since there’s been actual rain! 69: Picture of yourself?http://shaynainshambles.tumblr.com/tagged/my-face70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?I think both. Which is weird. I like the intimacy of monogamous relationships and I’m a very jealous person? But also like…I like open-ended relationships because intimacy with many people, please yes. 71: Have you ever been dumped?I actually have not. 73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?Um. Yes? Again, that 2/4 people being fwb thing. 74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?the other because I’m a socially awkward fucking mess. 75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?I like hair. Also collar bones. Also arms. Also smile and eyes. And everything. People are just very pretty. 76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?@dreams–die–today, I think?? 77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?Nope! 78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?Nope!! 79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?Jack-motherfucking-septiceye. You all. Literally, you all. getting asks and comments and building a community of human beings. helping people. psychology/inspiring mental health awareness and advocacy and integration. etc. etc.  etc. 81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?I feel like that has happened more recently than ever before or ever imagined…82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?About never, actually? 83: Do you miss your last sweetie?Um….what? 84: Last time you slow danced with someone?lmfao 85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?I…think…so…? technically…? briefly??? Idk. I literally don’t know. 86: How can I win your heart?Oh, let me count the ways…figure it out ;p 87: What is your astrological sign?Leo! 88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Sleeping…89: Do you cook?I mean, if I had to, I could learn, but nope. I can steam vegetables, I am set! 90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?Technically? I often do not talk to my “old flame” for months at a time, but that’s pretty much the usual for us. 92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?I really prefer the multiple close relationship thing. Idk, about dating. Dating is weird. But. Yeah, I think time and making sure you enjoy each other’s company is good before just like…committing.93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?I don’t really. I really am finding myself far more interested in people after I start getting to know them as human beings. Like, physical attraction is great and yes, absolutely a thing. but if I’m interested in them any more than something pretty, I get invested based who they are, etc.? The more you know. 94: Name four things that you wish you had!Money, self-confidence, a supportive and engaged community, the ability to be successfully mindful and productive when I want to be. 95: Are you a player?In what way……? 96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?I….don’t think I have? 97: Are you a tease?Tad bit. Maybe. yes. sorry not sorry. I kind of love it. It’s fun to be flirty and tease and shit, man. 98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?Not yet! 99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?Not like…happily ever after kind of idea of love. But I do deeply care about people. 100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?Absolutely. Ya’ll are fucking lovely. 101: Hugs or Kisses?Mmmmm. Do kisses with hugging involved count? 102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?Very much so. Hello. 103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Hair. 104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?Can be? I think it’s just a term of endearment. Which I’ve started doing, so who am I to comment. 105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?No??? That’s not okay?? Unless there was consent from all parties involved being like…yes, I am aware and in full, enthusiastic support of this. 106: Do you flirt a lot?Hello, as I’ve said, flirting is my horrible way of connecting with people and stress relief. I’m sorry. If it does bother anyone at all or make them uncomfortable at any point, please do tell me and I will not do it. 107: Your last kiss?happened?? at some point?? 108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?Nope, have not. 109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?Yes? I think it was less than a month ago? 110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?@51centurywoman and/or @thelootqueen because ya’ll are fucking incredible ;p 111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?Uh. I have an assumption but who knows? 112: Does someone like you currently?Apparently?????????????????113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?I have many feelings for people constantly. 114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?Serious flings. 115: Ever made out with just a friend?Glowing endorsement for fwb currently, yes. 116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?I’m honestly not that reliant on relationship status? I really like having people i can have fun with and be intimate with and just like..enjoy and have them enjoy. that makes me beyond happy. 117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.Opening the floor to you folks: any other questions? also, what kind of content do you like to see/hear? Also, tell me something positive that happened to you today! Let’s take a moment to focus on the good. :)