#my thoughts about torchwood

[sseanettles]

you know what I'm forever sad never became a really really compelling arc in twelve's time (or at least not to my knowledge)?

an acknowledgement that peter capaldi already played a very notable character in the doctor who universe--in torchwood: children of earth. an acknowledgement that twelve's face already belonged to a forgettable, mediocre nobody of a tragic man, john frobisher.

an average, milquetoast man who shot his wife, his children, point blank, and then committed suicide himself, because he could and would not sacrifice his kids to the 456 to be tortured and drained alive to make the aliens' fucking recreational drug, even though he was a cog-in-the-machine part of the government that had just very comfortably decided to sacrifice "the undesirable's" children. That had decided that "well the government has to be seen in the future to have also made sacrifices. and instead of picking our own children, we have picked yours, john frobisher. a forgettable, acceptable sacrifice that none of us will feel."

and he decided no. no, you don't get my children. and I won't live with the horror of what we've done and are about to do.

Of course, with horribly personal, terrible sacrifices, torchwood wins in the end. john and his family didn't have to die. but they did. was it a cowardly move? a heroic one, given the only options he thought he had? i don't think anyone could make that judgement without being in his shoes.

now imagine...imagine if twelve was canonically acknowledged to have had this man's face. The time vortex decided john frobisher needed to be heard, to be seen once more, to teach the doctor some kind of lesson that needed to be deeply learned. give the doctor the face of a deeply imperfect, desperate, trapped father who did not know how to do the right thing.

and then fucking play with it.

[thetrinitytest]

[midsummersmorn]

- Page 92, Long Time Dead by Sarah Pinborough

[meta-squash]

I think two of the most important things about Jack Harkness, two things that inform almost everything he does and the choices he makes, are this: that he is a soldier NOT a leader, and that his entire life since childhood has been awash in survivor's guilt (and his whole existence after becoming immortal is an even more extreme version of survivor's guilt).

Jack is not a natural leader. He can think on the fly and he's good at getting people to listen to him, but he's not good at control, or at being objective. He's a natural second in command, he's a soldier. He was brought up to do what other people told him to, and to improvise if he had to (Time Agency, etc). But I really don't think he wants to be the leader of Torchwood. Unfortunately, everything about him means that he has to be. He knows from experience that others having control over him is dangerous, others knowing about his immortality while he's a subordinate to them is dangerous, and he also knows that his own immortality gives him an advantage as a leader. But I don't think he's good at leading. He tries to be. But he's fumbling along, in a time period he's not native to and a planet he's not native to and an unfathomable lifespan, and as charming as he is I think he's often not good with people. He's detached where he should be personal and emotional where he should be detached (or at least more level-headed). He's often too extreme or not harsh enough when it comes to things like discipline or dealing with the problems/traumas/mistakes of his employees or even civilians. He can't handle his employees seeing him uncertain/vulnerable and it makes for huge problems over and over again.

But all of this does make sense because I think in the back of Jack's mind there's always this wheel spinning, these gears turning and turning and calculating the impact and trauma each of his actions or decisions or the events around him are going to have on his own emotions for far longer than normal humans tend to consider. Because the catalyst for any part of the life we see him leading is survivor's guilt. He lost his father and his brother on the same day, joined the military and lost his best friend, joined the Time Agency and lost his memories (and maybe thinks he did something terrible). Then he died, and when Rose brought him back, he was all alone on the satellite with nothing but the corpses of the people who had fought beside him and zero explanation as to why he survived, and he had lost Rose and the Doctor besides. And then all his life on earth since, he has lost coworkers and lovers and civilians he tried and failed to save and probably also aliens he tried and failed to save. And I think by the time he becomes reluctant leader of Torchwood, every action is, whether conscious or subconscious, taken with the intent of minimizing that kind of trauma and the impact of loss.

Except that I think that the survivor's guilt has another layer to it, which is that feeling of needing to sacrifice or absolve himself in some way. No one else is willing to make the difficult decisions, no one else will move forward with the painful and unpleasant actions, even if there's no other way, even though they will someday perish and no longer see the ripples of their actions. But Jack - who cannot die, who must live with the guilt or the pain or the trauma of those actions and decisions for the rest of his very very very long life - is the one who realizes that he must take on those painful responsibilities and must do certain things even though they're terrible, because it ends up being the sacrifice of one over the whole world. And every single time, he's guilty about it, and that makes him want even more to sacrifice his own hurt for the grief and loss of others.

So it's this strange cycle of wanting to protect himself from hurt and from loss and from the survivor's guilt, but being driven by guilt towards painful and/or self-sacrificing actions. Which then makes him fear being seen as vulnerable or uncertain, and he struggles to do things on a smaller scale or in a more level-headed way, because he's not supposed to be leading like this, it's not something that comes naturally, and if he makes emotional connections by being a leader, he'll end up trapped in survivor's guilt yet again each time one of his employees or friends or lovers dies.

It's just a terrible cycle and he's trapped in it for the rest of his existence. Although if he really is the Face Of Boe, then I imagine at some point he eventually finds peace with it all or something, but I think so long as he has a human-form he's stuck with this cycle of leadership and loss and sacrifice and mistakes.

I think it's really important that Jack is not good at his job as a leader. He makes a ton of mistakes, he fucks up so much and his employees or even civilians end up collateral damage, whether physically or just emotionally. He wants to be a good leader, I think, and he's trying, but he's fallible, and he's a stranger in literally every sense, and I think a really big part of his character is that he constantly is forced to live in this bizarre dichotomy where he has to be both very distant and cold and detached, and also very emotional and intense and personal. And any other person would collapse under the stress of repeating that over and over and over again for decades, but he has to figure out how to navigate this weight as an infinite existence that can't ever collapse or let it burn him up and kill him.

[atlasisnothere]

I don't know how to explain it but andy davidson from torchwood looks like that little rat weasel guy from one of the later ice age movies

[allcheers-allfears]

Torchwood Tattoos

Jack Harkness

Unfortunately, I don't think Jack can get tattoos - they would just get rejected by his healing power and I think he wouldn't have gotten any before joining the Time Agency.

Gwen Cooper

I believe Gwen would have Anwen's name on her arm (which with my trans!anwen hc she would cover up with something later on). I think she has a large thigh tattoo she got when she was a student - the red trad flowers style. And then I think she would get a colour daffodil tarot style tattoo as it's the flower of Wales - this would be during Torchwood but maybe after CoE.

Toshiko Sato

For Tosh, I think she would have a small wrist tattoo as a nod to her hometown (Osaka). And if she had a bigger one I think she would have a dragonfly or butterfly on her shoulder/arm or something in a fantasy style like the sword. The wrist one she would have got after graduating and the bigger one she would get during her time at Torchwood - which I'm imagining was a pain to schedule.

Owen Harper

So for Owen I think he only has a small - somewhat secret - tattoo as a dedication for Katie like a 'K' or a relevant date which would probably be on his elbow area.

Ianto Jones

I think Ianto's tattoos would be a big punk/metal band logo or image (sorry idk bands that well so I'm not sure what logos I've actually added here) and this would be on his thigh above the knee - much to the shock of the team if it ever gets revealed. He would probably have a bunch of hand pokes done by himself or his mates - like on his calf area or bicep.

John Hart

John has a snake on his collar bone like this and I won't hear otherwise. I just seems like exactly his style and speaks to his vanity too. I also think he would have these 'cyber sigil' style tattoos over his back/arms; probably something the Time Agency isn't totally happy with.

[doctorwhommm]

please please for all that is holy consider drawing owen and andy. the best duo toxic yaoi that never interacts in the show but have so much good content in the audios i go RAHHH ty for hearing me out

THE off screen toxic yaoi duo i love the three monkeys hehehe >:)

their interactions in this audio are so insane they rly just flirt for an hour

[breadbut3d]

I can never look at a stopwatch the same again...

[victoryshowers]

i love you jack harkness, a man that has enough love to last centuries holy fuck

[spicysaucesteaks]

listened to torchwood: disco. everything hurts. ianto is such a good character bro. i need to put him inside a microwave and watch him spin. i need to put him in bubblewrap and study him. the emotions this man goes through are insane - but that's why he's my pookie. no character can be declared pookie before they see the horrors

[uss-genderprise]

thinking about john hart's gender again

like. he's from the 51st century, right? and it's safe to assume that by that point gender would be completely unrecognisable to us in the 21st century and i know it's just a few throwaway joke lines but hear me out. he uses he/him (or at least, never corrects anyone who does) and presents masculine (to our 21st century eyes) but is clearly very comfortable using "feminine" terms. jack calls him a wife and john says he was a good wife and we know jack would never misgender anyone and john is clearly happy taking the title and running with it. the name he suggest gwen calls him by is vera, which is a traditionally feminine name. in the torchwood comic shrouded his ex calls him a girl. that is a whole ass he/him woman. i am so normal about him

[msue0027]

How to excuse yourself from the date you don't want to go to - by Owen Harper: die.

[jtownraindancer]

So anyway as far as I'm concerned, Andy Davidson and Owen Harper were boyfriends. ✌🏻

[meta-squash]

@brighhton tumblr won't let me dm you for some reason, but it lets me @ you so here are all my Owen fics for you! (Plus a few of the gen fics I'm really proud of.) A few are Owen/Ianto idk if you're into that. Also the ones further down the list are literally over a decade old so fair warning I'm sure the writing is not as good as my newer ones.

The Subject Of Mourning Gwen had said Those poor girls. But both were dead, victims of Torchwood, of circumstance, of the most destructive kind of loyalty and love. Owen could only think Poor Ianto. The dead were dead. The living had to keep living with the pain. He sighed. "Fucking fuck this." Owen and Ianto in the immediate aftermath of Cyberwoman.

Risk Factors Who are you, Owen Harper? Torchwood? A doctor? A wanker? A broken heart? He really could do with being someone else right now. He really, really could.

Grief Procedure What's worse than betrayal? How do you fix it when there's nothing left to fix? There is no imagination in an autopsy. Dead is dead and guilt is guilt. Owen doesn't know what to do. Because Jack was his second chance, Torchwood was his second chance, and now it's all stained with blame and regret and death.

Temporary Reprieve “Don't you want to just let someone else be in charge for a minute?” Ianto murmurs. “Not make any decisions? Let someone else do it all for you?” Jack's gone, Tosh is injured, and everything is overwhelming. Owen's struggling with the responsibilities and stress of leadership, and Ianto knows how to help him shake off the need to do everything all at once. (Owen/Ianto)

Ex Utero Intrapartum Ad Torchwood Gwen Cooper was born into the world of Torchwood by caesarean section. (Gen fic about the whole team)

Hang On To The Thought Of Me Ianto informs Maggie Hopley of Owen's death.

In Between Days Now that he's trapped in this numb, half-dead body, Owen exists less as a person than as a series of interim moments connecting his body to this sort of odd, liminal existence of a life. Sometimes, though, Ianto is there to make it, if not better, at least a little more interesting.

Aftermath Sometimes, when the dust has settled, you need a little support. Owen and Ianto manage to hold each other up in their own ways in the aftermath of various cases.

Running To Conclusions The rest of them have managed to grow into some form of confidence and stability since Jack returned, but Owen is still all anxiety and precarious emotions under the false bravado. Ianto knew that when he started this relationship, but he had hoped something might change because of his presence in Owen's life. Clearly he'd been wrong. This is his square. The text blinks the labeled message again, reassuring him. You can find him with this. (Owen/Ianto)

My Knees Bleed From Praying This Isn't My Life's Theme Owen Harper, from beginnings to beginnings. Owen Harper, who had a brilliant mind and nothing but furious frustration, who found science and became a doctor, who found Katie Russell and fell in love, who lost his fiancee and found Torchwood. Owen Harper, who had a brilliant mind and a drive to help, who never learned how to deal with loss.

We Slept Before The Storm Had Died Down He's managed to get a boat back to Europe, but the waters are unlucky and there is no defence against the Toclofane.

Jagged Little Pieces Ianto wonders if this is his brain’s new version of fucked up, falling in love with the people he’s supposed to hate. (Owen/Ianto)

All These Nights Of Fucking Things Up Won't Leave You Clean Jack wonders belatedly if maybe he should have come later, when the pain isn't so raw. (gen)

Untwist My Knotted Mind He looks at the frightened woman beside him and can see no trace of the strength and ferocity he fell in love with. Now it’s his turn to help fix her.

Sooner Or Later You'll Stop Searching For Me Katie survived the surgery, but the results are drastic and cause her and Owen even more pain. They're breaking down together, separately, and neither can do a thing about it.

All That's Left After he dies, Jack offers Owen a gift of the past. Whether it's good or bad, Owen can't decide.

Bridges Burning In Reverse “We’re not friends at Torchwood, Ianto. You can’t have friends at Torchwood. No one trusts anyone else enough for that.” (Owen/Ianto)

Tall Is The Mountain That Bullies The Stream Owen has met his father once. He hasn't seen him again.

So Different Now From What It Seemed She feels like her life has been ruined. This little boy has poisoned whatever innocent happiness she may have had.

[allatariel]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato Characters: Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode AU: s01e04-05 Aliens of London | World War Three (Doctor Who), Established Relationship Series: Part 10 of Unfinished Tales Summary:

Dr. Owen Harper hurries to the aid of Toshiko Sato, his very pregnant wife.

[doctorwhommm]

plsss draw owen and tosh on a day out!!!!

day out to a video game museum bc they r both gamers ! owen rage quits Pac-Man bc he is a loser (affectionate)