#my thoughts are everywhere right now

[artystaroc]

15 HOURS OVER THE SPAN OF SEVERAL DAYS LATER

This was meant to be quick goofy little scene and then i took forever on the shading and just went "y'know, i'm taking this long anyway, i might as well color it" and AAARRGGGHHHHH

Like, this was fun to do and all, but I was aiming for something about as messy as the second image at first and I just. The Perfectionism Demons won.

I should not be putting this much effort into GARTEN OF BANBAN ARt--

Anyway.

(close ups under the cut because you will look at this with all it's little details)

Had one (1) mental breakdown while doing the lighting and it wasn't because it was giving me trouble bgkvavakvlk

[shokupanko]

It’s not Monday but it’s certainly Mayu Monday for me! This is my only artwork for March so I’ll see you all again in April or soon after! （⌒▽⌒ゞ

Pantyhose: I actually went back then forth trying to decide between bare legs and pantyhose but I ultimately decided pantyhose was the way to go. The pantyhose are meant to match the corset except no leather and comfort of course. It has lace details and a leather belt on her left leg. The lace stops around her ankles.

Hair: to stay within steampunk territory, I decided to make her hair fluffy, swirly, and lots of curl heart shapes. I don’t like to use one range of colors so I made the choice to go with my heart and make it extra colorful! (Although Mayu’s hair always proves to be a challenge (∩︵∩)

Makeup: I tried to make her extra girly- sorta 40s makeup vibe. So red lipstick and pink blush. I also tried to make her details more rounded to give a softer appearance :D

Shoes: it was my try of Mary Jane’s inspired shoes so please remember they are NOT accurate. She has small legs warmers over the shoes and tied off with pink bows, a short heel, and golden beads to go around the rim.

Gloves: blacks gloves with the tips of her thumb, middle, and ring fingers revealed, and well as leather and golden beads to go around and lace at the bottoms.

Dress: sheesh I’ll try to explain as well and possible… the dress comes with a color, ruffles, folds, and lots of lace for the underskirt. She has two belts below the sleeves to emphasize the ruffles. The dress also comes with a front tying corset that I took extra care to seem functional. The corset comes with lace, leather, and POCKETS! Because every girly in a dress needs pockets (she was originally gonna have a gun in her beta design shhh). The pockets are attached to the leather part of the corset in the back, and is also joined with golden beads? Buttons? Idk those things. She also has three rows of the golden beads on her skirt!

Hat: Her top hat is decorated in clocks, chains, and gears for a some steampunk effect, as well as a pink bow and pink bunny ears. Around the hat is black lace and under the hat is pink lace for some pop!

[unexpectedbrickattack]

👀🍕..

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

interrupting your regular programming to bring you a special message: stop. whatever you're doing right now. stop and go watch everything everywhere all at once. i dont care if you "dont have multiple hours to spare" do it. i dont care if you've "already seen it" watch it again???? "ive seen it 5 times" watch it a 6th time ???????? even better watch it a 7th ?????? literally what could you be doing that's more important than seeing this masterpiece before you and sobbing your fucking soul out??????

i thought so.

[altschmerzes]

is it really that hard to let posts about aromantic people who dislike expected engagement with romance (valentine’s day in this instance, but also fictional romance, romance songs, etc) just be about those people. is it REALLY that hard not to derail them and make them about people who feel positively about those things, even when it is other aros. come on. that is the expected stance. that is the Demanded stance from society at large. let me have two inches of breathing room on my own damn posts if i can’t even have it in my own community.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also was revisiting a little bmc bway interview ft. william last night & him saying his favorite part of the show was probably doing the agtikbi reprise scene on the couch at the party & mentioning the Nonverbal aspect of jeremy & christine's interacting / communicating there & a way of exploring/depicting Love & Affection in a way you don't always see everywhere and like aaaarghhhhh so true good lord that specific scene. and Again the bway obcr version Existing and being like that, it's just like. winded exhale yeah obsessed 5ever thank you all

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

(early) torchwood and facism

[toxooz]

me emotionally switching from 50 year old dad to middle schooler every 5 minutes this entire year bc the hormonal imbalance is desecrating my rat brain

[ratstuckinamarble]

I was hanging up a Halloween garland to get a little more into the spirit of things, when I lost hold of the damn thing and it flung itself against my shelf.

The one with a vase on it. Which immediately got dragged down to the floor.

I could already hear the crash of glass... except it never came. There I am on my stepstool, looking at my scattered dried flowers, absolutely confused as to where the hell that vase went. I thought it had disappeared. Somehow. I was properly befuddled.

...It had fallen into one of my backpacks, which basically swallowed the whole thing up without looking like anything had happened. Thanks for making me think I was losing it dude. At least I didn't have to clean up any glass (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I have one main gripe with the In The Heights movie and that’s how in the opening song Usnavi says “two quarter waters” while holding two JUICES. HES HOLDING TWO HUGS FRUIT JUICES. HES HOLDING THESE

THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WATER

[cryptidafter]

I really have a knack for watching movies that align perfectly with whatever struggles I’m having at that point in my life.

[dangoulains-devotion]

thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i

[vargaslovinghours]

In case it was ever a question

[squirmydonnie]

Vent: :(🙁😢😓😭😥😞😔

Trust issues or something

I have a hard time connecting to people. But I already knew that.

I don't really trust them. I get scared a lot. Or don't really say what I mean or what's on my mind. I don't want to cause a problem or make someone upset.

I make a whole bunch of efforts. I've made progress that doesn't feel like progress. Even though I know it's there, it doesn't actually feel like if accomplished anything. I've lacked that feeling for a while. And I think it would only come back if I felt a connection from it. Or some kind of meaning.

When I get a good grade I don't feel much towards it. Not because it was easy, but because it was hard. And all i got was this number for it. This number that doesn't have any meaning.

I have been hanging out with these same people. Without feeling like I am a part of what they do. NBB is always there. Or most often she is. Disturbing the peace for me. Even if it isn't actually peace. She isn't exactly helping. Making fun of me and everyone else at the table.

Other person I feel off about:

They love me. And I know it. And I feel bad. I feel like my care and what I do isn't enough. It's too much to say and not feel I making a mistake. So I'll keep it short. I am messing this up. I have to let myself connect to this person. I'm trying. But I feel like I am still closed. I put efforts, but its not what they deserve. They deserve someone who can get the words out without turning away from their phone after making a message. Someone who doesn't shy away from their feelings. I guess in a way I had quit daydreaming for you. I had other reasons. But I knew if I didn't, I'd be placing my imaginary friends over one of the realest people I know. Despite my connections there I want to connect with you. I don't want to make mistakes anymore. Even if you aren't aware of them. I don't care. I want to be the best I can for you. Please forgive me.

You don't even know about it. No one knows about the daydreams. No one knows what's been in my head.

I think you deserve someone better than me. I feel bad that you like me..

Or that you love me. I think its wrong

I'm scared my happiness with you is artificial or something.

I quit because I wanted to be more present when I spoke or talked with you. I just feel afraid that I may not be good. And all I wanted was to be good with you. I don't want to be bad. I think your making a mistake.

I wish I was better. I keep trying. But I'm afraid. I'm always afraid. And I don't like that.

Over the years anxiety has become more physical. I can feel it more.

I haven't daydreamed all day today. I should be proud but I feel nothing for this. I'm just aware it. I think that's all I'll get. I don't really care about any kind of accomplishment feeling.

I want love to squeeze the back of my head.

I want light pink to fall out.

I want to smile.

[pretzelfishes]

love is when i do the dishes even though it's my roommate's turn because he's having a bad day. love is also when he brings me nutella filled churros and popcorn to celebrate me getting a job i wanted.

[vivanightcity]

welp, winter sale ends today and im v glad with the decision to grab roots of pacha and pathologic 2 instead of spending the same amount of money on phantom liberty.

Maybe in the spring sale xD