#my thoughts while doing the kafka quest

[eternalblizzards]

she's everything. he's just blade

[vxnuslogy]

— retail therapy. ft sunday

— warnings: slight angst if you squint hard enough

— author's note: self-indulgent stellaron hunter sunday after playing the new tb quest. ~2.4k words.

“is this…” sunday gestures with his hands, “also part of our script?”

you let out a laugh. balancing firefly and kafka’s shopping bags in your hands, you only shook your head at the angel-like man with an amused smile on your lips. 

“no, it is not.” kafka was browsing the dress sections with keen interest, blade was peering over silver wolf’s shoulder watching her as she played yet another video game, and firefly was looking over the rack of new hats. “but it’s a good change of pace. you all deserve to relax after such a hard mission.”

“i don’t think this really fits my criteria of relaxation, [name].” you only laugh at sunday’s sigh. offering him a small pat on the back and dragging him by his sleeve to where kafka was beckoning you over. “you’ll get used to it eventually. next time, we’ll do something that fits your criteria of relaxation.”

the silver haired man only shook his head. but deep down you knew he was enjoying himself – the wings behind his ears often betrayed him by openly showing what he actually felt. every now and then, they would flutter and puff up whenever silver wolf drags him to another section with new games or when he tries to deny kafka’s attempt at getting him a new shirt or coat (after his wings fluttered a bit too hard at this one coat kafka bought it immediately).

“what do you think?” you ask as you put down the bags that've been weighing down on your arms. “about us, i mean, are you adjusting well?”

you notice sunday’s hesitation, you always have when it comes to him – he often wonders how wise and knowledgeable you are to know how he felt. a hum left your lips as you sat down on one of the offered chairs at the shoe section while blade reached to the top shelf to get what firefly was pointing at. 

“i…” he starts, voice just above whisper. “don’t know.”

another hum escapes your lips. scooting over to make space for him and patting the space, urging him to sit besides you. sunday does, though reluctantly, sit beside you as you watch silver wolf giggle at firefly’s struggle to walk in heels. blade’s hands hover over her figure as she stomps her way over to the shorter girl to pinch her cheeks to which she protested.

“they’re nice people.” you say, gaze never leaving them. “the galaxies may say otherwise, but they're truly the kindest people i have ever met.”

“i… apologize.”

you raise a brow at him. “what’s with the apology?” 

“i have only ever thought of the five of you as bad people.” sunday admits with a heavy heart. eyes finding much entertainment on his gloves that you had gifted. “i… do not know how to act around you all, when i’ve only ever heard bad things about you. it feels wrong to suddenly be thrusted into your already tight knit group.”

you only hum in understanding. hand coming to caress the top of his head when you stood up when blade called you over.

“we understand, mr. sunday.” you gave him a small smile as you picked up the many shopping bags you had. “these sorts of things take time, just take it one step at a time.”

he only nods. and like the gentleman that he is, steals away the heavier bags in your hands with an awkward smile.

—

“do you miss the person you were before you joined?”

you wonder if blade has ever mentioned to sunday how you loved thought evoking questions like the one he had just asked. recently, the two have been paired up a lot for missions - you’re still on the fence on whether it's a good or bad thing, but you’re leaning more towards the former. you only gave a thoughtful hum as you spooned another scoop of ice cream into your mouth.

kafka had grown bored of the dresses and shoes and wanted to get something to eat. now here you were, outside a quaint little ice cream shop as blade orders for everyone - silver wolf and firefly hiding behind the man like two kids. 

sunday was sitting in front of you, laughing silently after catching a glimpse of the two tables across from you being filled with your shopping bags. you laughed as well and when your eyes met his, sunday quickly averted his gaze towards his own cold treat.

“do i ever miss the person i was before i joined…” you echo his question. “sometimes, in the middle of the night whenever i’m feeling a bit too sentimental, i do.” a fond expression was probably present on your face as sunday hummed in acknowledgement. “i miss the comfort of my bed as i scrolled endlessly on my phone. or how a certain little creature in red would bring me tea and biscuits when i let time pass in my little workshop. i miss them every chance i get.”

yes, every chance you get, you reminisce over your past life. missing your father’s quick temper, your brother’s indifference, your mother’s absence; you missed them all, despite all their flaws and the bitterness that swam in your heart. and of course, how could you ever forget your little escapades in different planets with a seasoned adventurer and his vast knowledge of animation and travel or the little waddling of a conductor as they scold you nearly not making it back. you missed them all very dearly.

“what about you, mr. sunday? do you miss penacony?”

“would it be wrong of me… if i said no…?”

admittedly, that was the exact opposite of what you thought his answer would be.

the six of you were now in the car with you and blade driving (firefly suggested you all take two cars so you won’t have to be squeezed together in one). silver wolf was fast asleep at the back seat, using the many shopping bags as her makeshift pillows. you and sunday sat at the front, keeping a close eye on blade’s red car in front of you as you pondered what you would say next.

“i don’t think that’s the whole truth, but it’s not an entire lie either.” was your only response. from the corner of your eye, you see sunday take off his gloves and lay them on his lap. “would you like to talk about it, mr. sunday? i’m quite the exceptional listener you know.”

sunday laughed at your jesting and that made the breath you were unconsciously holding escape you. 

“penacony, as beautiful as it was,” he fiddles with his fingers as his wings came to cover half his face - a habit you picked up on whenever he started to open up. “it was simply too much for me.”

staying silent and when sunday looked at you, you simply nod. urging him to continue.

“the flashy city lights, the ever echoing of upbeat music, to many, penacony is a paradise where nothing could go wrong,” sunday sags in his seat, “but i often wonder if it ever gets too much for them. even though i have lived my entire life in the land of festivities, i could not bring myself to enjoy the thrill and joy it offered.”

“no matter how many times i bury these feelings of guilt, they always resurface whenever…”

“whenever?” you slowly try to coax it out of him. like how a parent would to their child.

“they always resurface whenever… i find myself enjoying your company too much.” you try to hide your shock when you take a right turn. “is it truly alright for me to just leave all of penacony behind? as overwhelming it was, it offered a roof over my head. food on my table. a family.”

soft patters of rain as small droplets of water cascaded down the now slightly fogged up windows of your car. “would you like my personal opinion on this matter, mr. sunday?” the car skids to a stop as the traffic light glows red. sunday only nodded solemnly. “you have every right to not miss penacony.”

his gold eyes were furrowed in distraught. gaze boring into the side of your head as the car started moving again. “yes, penacony offered a roof over your head and food on your table, but everyone has that right. even us, stellaron hunters, the most wanted criminals across star systems, have the right to have a home. did penacony ever feel like home to you, mr. sunday?”

“no. not it has not.” sunday replies after a few moments of silence.

“just because a roof is over your head and food is served on your table doesn’t automatically make it a home.” your eyes hardened, grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly. “a home is supposed to make you feel safe, not obligated to repay their so-called “kindness”. you don’t have to feel guilty for not wanting to come back to the place that had caused you pain.”

“and what of my sister, robin?” he suddenly counters. you knew from little snippets from kafka that robin was a bit of a sensitive topic with him. “am i really allowed to enjoy this new life of mine knowing that she’s still in the family’s clutches?” his voice hardened, but at the same time it quivered and broke. “what right do i have to this newfound happiness when she could be struggling? for aeon’s sake,” he messily pushes his hair away from his face. you try not to focus on the stray tears that fell from his eyes, “i’m her older brother, her protector. she should be the one here, spending time with you and enjoying the life she’s always wanted.”

“miss robin is destined for greatness and a happy life,” stopping at another traffic light, you look over to sunday, “but so are you. i do not know the pain and turmoil your adoptive father has made you go through, but you will never be free if you keep holding on to the past.”

“i don’t think being a stellaron hunter and a wanted criminal is what you call greatness.” sunday jokes with a low chuckle making you roll your eyes.

you trained your sight on the road again. “it’s not easy to break out of whatever gopher wood has taught you,” the way you spat his adoptive father’s name with such venom made sunday wonder if you had personally met him. “but if, theoretically, we had offered you to join us earlier and to sneak you out of penacony, miss robin would be the first person to urge you to take that chance. you are her older brother yes, and it's often the oldest’s job to protect the younger,” you pull up your car in the parking lot as blade, kafka, and firefly started taking the shopping bags out of the car. “but she is still your sister that wants what’s best for you, even if it means leaving penacony behind.”

the sight of blade, a man with a harsh exterior and few words, silently carry silver wolf with such care will always stir something inside of sunday. or how kafka would happily chat with firefly over the new clothes they got on today’s shopping list, promising to do a haul tomorrow morning after the older woman cooks everyone breakfast. but if there was something that pulled at his heart the most, it would be you. 

you who kindly respected his space and unwillingness to talk or socialize with the other hunters when he had been first recruited. the same you who had made him the metal wings that was now attached to his lower back - created with so much care and attentiveness sunday felt unworthy of it. you who would always be the first one to look for him whenever you were going out and extending a hand for him to take.

“everyone deserves to be happy,” you say beside him as you drop him off at the door to his room. “and that includes you, mr. sunday.”

sunday had always been treated as someone who was above everything else, that was the first thing he was taught after all. he was destined for greatness, the key to the revival of his dead aeon. so he never truly knew how to act when someone treated him as an equal. someone neither above or below anyone.

“i’m not very good with words,” sunday scoffs, thinking otherwise. “so i often convey my sincerity and comfort through actions.”

sunday feels your hand slither to the back of his neck as you slowly pull him down to your height. forcing his beating heart to still when he looks into your eyes that swam with understanding and fondness when you press both of your foreheads together.

“you can enjoy your time here, with us. you’re allowed to let go of the past and miss your sister.” your thumb rubs soothing circles on his nape, sunday feels the hairs on his arms rise. “and if you still think otherwise, then that’s also fine. breaking free from the shackles of your past isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t give up.” sunday feels the way your words leave a warm ticklish feeling on his lips, he had to fight the urge to lean into your space even more. “we want you to be happy, we want you to be here with us. so we’ll teach you how to let go. until you can do it yourself.”

sunday has seen you do this to others; after you patch up blade after a nasty fight, when you welcome kafka home, when silver wolf comes to you after a nightmare and when firefly bares her heart out to you. he finally understands why the others stuck to you closely, they showed their appreciation for you in forms of physical affections. 

involuntarily, his arms snakes around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer he feels you may decipher the way his heart beats your name. “may we stay like this for a while?” you only hum slowly when he lays his head on your shoulder. letting your comfort wash away all the guilt and frustration, even if it was just for a moment.

you catch a glimpse of kafka leaning at one of the dark walls with a knowing smile on her lips. rolling your eyes at the older woman, you bid sunday a good night with a small smile. knuckles brushing right under his eyes where phantom tears had fallen. in your mind, you can’t help but feel that your little idea of taking him shopping to brighten up his mood was a success.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[13thedream]

Characters: (Lee) Sunday, (Ler) Kafka

a/n: this is based off of the Idea that Sunday joined the Stellaron Hunters. I have not done the most recent quest yet - only partially proofread, and my first fic, so do not make fun of it, please. But constructive criticism is encouraged

words: 1,5k

Sunday has had a headache all day today, and his eyes felt sore.

It was no doubt the fault of him staying up for most of the night tearfully, but he was sure that these people played a part in it.

They are unfamiliar; they hardly know him and he hardly knows them. And yet, here they are behaving as if he’d always been a part of the “family”. Arms slung over his shoulders, going out to places as well… Aren’t they meant to be an elite group, the feared and despised Stellaron Hunters? No doubt powerful, and yet, they had so much time on their hands to still be silly.

It is safe to say he is not used to such treatment. Relaxing, sitting back and doing nothing, having fun - yet he is neither relaxed or having fun. The thought of his sister laid heavy in his mind - the way she looked so tired on the television, and it tugged at his big brother instincts to sometimes see her wings not preened.

Sunday sighed quietly, his face buried in gloved hands as he leaned back against the sofa he sat on. He regrets now not bringing any of his books, or his journal; then again, he had to leave in such a rush, there simply was no time.

A tiny breeze fluttered the feathers of his left wing, and it twitched. He ignored it, groaning as he burdened himself with thoughts of his sister. What if she’s not feeding herself properly? What if she’s spending her nights crying?

Another breeze, another twitch.

Maybe she hates him. No- Robin would never, yet he found himself wishing she would. He hates himself so much, and he’s just pulling her down with him.

“...day.. Sunday.-” Something delicately traced down his wing, and Sunday would forever deny the startled, squeaky “eep!” He had let out. He whipped around, golden eyes wide, meeting the even and somewhat curious gaze of Kafka.

She was smirking; he felt his cheeks heat up at his own embarrassing reaction - and his damned wings were now curling around his cheeks too, as if he were some shy child hiding his face.

Clearing his throat, Sunday spoke, “..Good afternoon, Miss Kafka,” A polite greeting, choosing to move past what had just happened.

“Hey, angel,” she replied, that stupid smirk never leaving, and he felt his skin prick from the nickname. Angel? Audacious to call him anything other than his own name - yet, he held no power here, so he may as well accept it.

Kafka continued to speak casually, “I’ve been calling your name for a while. D’you wanna have dinner with us later?”

Sunday huffed quietly at the thought alone. Dinner with that barbaric swordsman, the moving suit of armor, a literal cat, and the girl who can’t put her phone down? Forget it. The most normally behaving person there would be Kafka, and that’s saying a lot.

“No.” Sunday grumbled, before clearing his throat once more and fixing himself, “...No, thank you. I will get my own.”

Kafka merely shrugged one shoulder, propping up her face on a hand as she observed him. When had she sat down beside him? Sunday met her gaze for a couple of seconds before glancing away, feathers puffing up. What does she still want?

“No problem. You seem tense,” the woman commented offhandedly, and he looked back out of politeness.

“How could I not be?” Sunday replied, tone cool and curt. Kafka shrugged again, raising one eyebrow as she observed him a moment longer.

“Fair point. But no one’s coming after you here, y’know?” She pointed out, and he huffed; of course he knew that. They’re in the middle of Xipe-Knows-What, in Xipe-Knows-Where.

“I appreciate the concern, but I’m more worried about the company here than anybody looking for me.” Sunday watched reproachfully as Kafka’s expression turned into one of amusement, as well as a mischievousness which had him tensing up further.

“Ah? How come? We’re a loving family here.” She replied, and they could both tell that she was just messing around now. They both knew why.

Sunday sighed, “Well, I don’t feel the slightest bit safe with that swordsman - constantly looking as though he'd strike me down if he had the chance. And that girl is a nuisance. It feels as though her entire personality is just, “Games this,” And “Hacking that,”.” He snorted out - and he felt himself lighten a bit at Kafka’s huffed out laugh.

“...Sam is most likely the most tolerable person,” Her smirk never left for the entire conversation - does this woman even know any other facial expressions..?

“And you are… Hm.” She looked even more smug than usual for a moment at his hesitance, and he grumbled out, “..Mysterious, I suppose. I dislike how unpredictable you get.”

Kafka was silent for a good long moment, just staring at him, before she chuckled, “Might I remind you, Birdie, that you are not so normal for yourself.”

She reached out again, while he was looking elsewhere, and dragged a finger down one of his wings lazily.

Sunday yelped.

His wing flapped, and he whipped around to face her again, cheeks on fire. “Would you please stop that?” He politely snapped, eyebrows furrowing.

She observed, he shifted, trying to cool down his cheeks.

“You’re ticklish,” Kafka finally mused out, tone thoughtful. Sunday sputtered, cheeks ablaze, a huge difference from his usually stoic, cool demeanor.

“What? No. What-? I was just caught of guard.” He replied, shifting away from her on the sofa. Perhaps he should try to respectfully make his leave-

“You laughed a little bit,” Kafka hummed, her eyes narrowing, a nearly predatory look behind them.

“I did not,” Sunday denied, frowning.

“You did.” Kafka’s already smirking lips began curving upwards even further.

“I am not ticklish. Where did you even get that from? Your claim makes little to no se–”

“Alright. Let’s prove it.” Kafka said, and before his brain could even process her words, two hands were firmly gripping his sides, fingertips digging into the flesh.

Sunday let out a surprised, “Aah-ha!” Falling back onto the sofa and attempting to squirm away. It did not tickle so terribly - yet single nerve felt as though it was on fire, and his embarrassment worsened with every little squeak which escaped his lips. He hated his laugh, and he was now sure he hated this damned woman, and her damned smirk, and her damned hands.

“Wait- Wait! Wahahait!” He cursed himself, giggles slipping into his words. His body was jumping, hands reaching down to try and push her’s away, but to no avail. She easily dodged all of his attempts, hands squishing at the sides of his stomach now, only worsening the sensations.

“Gah! Ahahaa! Wahait!” Kafka was smirking, watching the usually uptight Halovian fall apart just from a few touches. His body spasmed when she got closer to his belly, and she chuckled.

“So much for not ticklish, hm?” She hummed out, that predatory glint still in her eyes. He was blushing hard, his laugh a bit awkward - probably from not being genuinely used in so long - and his smaller pair of wings were busy trying to cover up his face.

What an adorable sight.

Her hands teased his belly for a few moments longer, before lowering down on it. Sunday squealed, blushing a dark red now as he lowered his hands to block his sensitive stomach, panting. He heard Kafka click her tongue.

“K-Kafka, thahat’s–!” Suddenly, her hands were in his underarms, those horrid nails scratching at the exposed skin.

“AAah! Kahafka!” He cried out loudly, tone becoming more and more high pitched the longer this went on. His arms slammed down, trying to fruitlessly guard his vulnerable underarms, but that just pushed her hands in deeper, digging into the centers.

His wings were quivering, both sets, and he bucked up wildly. His hair was becoming a mess and his clothing ruffled. Mirthful tears sprung up in his eyes, threatening to fall down his red cheeks, and his chest heaved.

Kafka scratched in his underarms a moment longer before removing her hands altogether, recognizing his limit. She was still smirking, and he breathlessly glared at her.

“...Ruhude.” He panted out, titters still escaping every here and there.

Kafka only smirked, “You had many chances to say stop. You didn’t.”

His cheeks lit up again - Great Xipe, he’d never get over this embarrassment. What’s worse is that she is absolutely correct.

Sitting up, Sunday muttered a quick, “Be quiet..” as he tried to smooth down his clothes. He felt much lighter now, he realized. Not so tense anymore - yet despite that, he still glared at Kafka before moving off of the sofa.

Well. Now he has to go hide in the bathroom for a couple of hours. And possibly die from the embarrassment.

“Excuse me,” he grunted out, and hid his tiny smile in his wing as he left. Kafka replied casually, as if she hadn’t just tickled him senseless, “Seeya.”

Weird - his headache is gone too.

[waterfrontcomplex]

thoughts/review on 2.4 (and a little bit of au talk)

i got yunli!! and e3 yanqing on huohuo's banner... at least i have guaranteed sunday now i guess

ouhhhh i finished the new quests... yanqing i love you....... (spoilers under cut)

skip to the next pink text if u dont wanna read the au stuff

seeing the designs for the borisin reminded me of an au i thought of a while back. i just call it the 'abundance swap' au. the idea is that instead of the xianzhou following the hunt, what if they were denizens of abundance? so like, xianzhou natives would be wingweavers, foxians would be borisin, and vidyadhara.... could be cobrakind...? or still vidyadhara. idk. the xianzhou fleet would be the cloudseizer fleet(?), the plaguemarks would instead be worshipped and nurtured, and they would spread the 'blessings of abundance' to each world they stop by. the arbiter-generals would instead have spirits bestowed by yaoshi instead of lan.

blondies would be more common, philosophies of the hunt would probably be forbidden, and most people would likely know some form of healing. what do they do with the mara struck? im not sure, actually...

ok one of the reasons i thought of this au was bc i liked the thought of wingweaver/borisin yanhuo but shhh... girls should be allowed to be beasts...

i had more thoughts abt this au but lowkey forgot like half of them... maybe ill make a follow up post once i remember

anyway, back to 2.4

oh maaaan oh man oh man oh man im glad yanqing's finally getting more attention in the main story!! he was kinda tossed around in 1.2 and in kafka's companion mission but got some attention during the huohuo event (fav event <3) and now he's a major part in the main story... this patch was made for yanqingers by yanqingers<33

hes depressed just like me fr... also, this pic was so pretty....

ok but seriously, im glad that his confidence issues were talked about here. it was brushed off in 1.2 and sword essence ended with an off screen conversation with yanqing and jing yuan. it talked about his problems a bit, but was left sorta unresolved, yk? im glad that he's not just instantly fine and recovered right away.

this conversation also gave me more insight on yanqing's feelings and personality. theres a lot of pressure being the cloud knight lieutenant, but when he uses his swords, that pressure is lifted, even for a moment. he's free, like a bird, but must eventually return to his birdcage.

this version rlly helped me understand yanqing's character more, and hopefully i can improve bnp(som) when i rewrite it, but for now i'll stick with practice oneshots.

i haven't finished much for the new march event, but HUOHUO!!!! HUOHUO IS HERE!!! AND SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!!!<333

LOOK! LOOK AT HER!!!

i decided to color her in!! here's canon huohuo

and here's my huohuo! (more yellowish-green, just personal preference)

these are free to use with credits since they're just colored<3

anyway thats all for now... might make another post if i have more ideas. sorry for the lack of art and fics :( ive been busy with artfight but now since it's ending i should hopefully be posting more art soon :)

[soupthatistohot]

Hi, sorry to bother you, I was wondering why you read bad as more of an absurdist story than an existentialist one?

(Sorry if you already answered it somewhere, but since I didn't find anything, I thought that I might as well ask.)

Maybe I missed something, but BSD's characters always seemed to me like people making up their own meanings to make life make sense, rather than the rebellion for the need of meaning itself, which I think fits more the existentialist thought process?

Even Dazai, especially, looking to understand the worth in humanity to justify his own existence, trying to find something to live for, to make his life make sense. He doesn't seem to have the kind of acceptance that I think comes with an absurdist mindset, that one of not needing any meaning to live your life anyway.

My grasp on the subject is still pretty shaky, as despite having read absurdist authors and even having some of them as my all time favorites for a long while, I was only properly introduced to that school of thought by you, which is why I figured you'd probably be the best one to explain why I'm wrong.

From where I'm standing, it feels like BSD is a story of existentialists navigating their life in an absurdist setting, if that makes sense? I know that they're not polar opposites, and can even be complementary but yeah. Just food for thought. I'm always looking for new ways to understand things better.

Hi there, not a bother at all!! I have my asks open for a reason and I’m always happy to chat abt this type of stuff :)

There’s kind of two answers to this question. The first is that until pretty recently (like legit a couple weeks ago thanks to a tiktok) I realize that my understanding of absurdism was closer to the definition of existentialism (though they’re definitely close cousins). You’re correct in saying that the absurdist does not seek to create meaning, but rather recognizes that life is meaningless and lives anyway. My analyses up to this point have actually been working with a flawed definition because of my misunderstanding and the internet’s general misunderstanding.

That being said, I really do think that BSD can still absolutely be read as an absurdist text. The other answer to this question is that this is so because I believe Asagiri wrote the story this way. He seems to have been influenced by multiple prolific absurdist authors (Franz Kafka, from whom he took his pen name; and Albert Camus, who is considered to be the father of absurdism and whose character Asagiri used the name of for the prison Meursault). Put simply, I am convinced that Asagiri intends to write a narrative with absurdist themes.

While most (if not all) of the characters are in a quest to find meaning, that does not necessarily negate the absurdist reading of BSD. Humans are naturally wired to seek out purpose in our lives, but it does seem like the characters are on a path towards living for the sake of living rather than living for a certain purpose.

Take someone like Dazai, who is suicidal because of his search for meaning. Absurdism is very much against suicide and I think the fact that it seems that Dazai’s reasoning for his suicidal tendencies revolves around his failure to find hope (in the world and for himself) is indicative of Asagiri’s absurdist influence. That being said, the less Dazai tries to search for meaning and the more he just simply lives his life, the more content and fulfilled he seems to become. He’s not all the way there, and perhaps he never will be, but what matters is that him letting go of his search for purpose is part of his character development.

Atsushi is another good example. His main flaw is that he puts his worth in his ability to help others, and while that initially saves his life when he joins the ADA and finds a reason to live, it’s also obvious that this is not conducive long-term as it takes a massive toll on his self-esteem if/when he fails. A large part of his character arc has been deconstructing the connection between his self worth and ability to help others, and similar to Dazai, the more he just lives for himself and helps people because he wants to (not because he needs to for his self-esteem), the more content and fulfilled he seems to be.

In terms of absurdism vs existentialism, I think it can fit both, depending on how you’re looking to interpret the story. I think the two philosophies of thought go hand-in-hand and it’s just about how you frame your analysis. BSD has its moments that are more absurdist and its moments that are more existentialist. As with life, it’s not entirely black and white, I think it can be nuanced and involve both interpretations.

I hope this answers your questions!! If you have anything more to say, please feel free to share your thoughts, I love talking about this stuff :)

[ruii-cha]

thoughts on memory tropes...

ok so i saw a single person talk about this. spoilers for the new genshin 4.7 quest (i don't even play genshin anymore), legend of zelda: breath of the wild, honkai star rail and genshin 3.3 (edited for accuracy, thanks to the person who told me it was 3.3) below!

if you haven't guessed from the choice of games and the title and all, this is actually about memory plots! also known as any kind of memory deletion plotline. and in this mini-essay i will break down how it works and why it works- as well as why the specific instance of it in genshin 4.7 doesn't work AS well as the others listed.

disclaimer: this is purely my ideas and opinions. please do not go after me :"D

what even is a memory deletion plot?

i'm choosing to use 'memory deletion plot' as the term for the kind of plots where there's some kind of memory deletion plot- where characters' memories are erased for whatever reason. there are two kinds- firstly is the player character's memory being erased before the game starts (honkai star rail, legend of zelda: breath of the wild, technically genshin impact). secondly is characters' memory being erased mid-game, so you as the player will know what characters used to/don't know.

2. ok why do they even work?

depends on the impact! memory deletion plots can be a good way to start your game, because they give the huge benefit of immersing the player right from the start. the player and your character know that there is a world they know nothing about, so it's a way of putting the two of you on the same page.

in star rail, this is done with the trailblazer, and kafka explaining that your memories were erased for this purpose; in breath of the wild, you wake up after 100 years into an unfamiliar world, knowing that your memories were also kinda weird after this.

these work because you as the player are aligning yourself with the character- every time you find something out, you and the character are having the same reaction of 'you serious?', and it also lets the developers do their exposition in a way that feels more natural, because yeah. of course someone has to explain it to us. the character wouldn't know this beforehand.

now for the interesting one- mid-game deletion. the sumeru archon quest actually pulls this off really well, in two ways- firstly with the festival/dream/cycle thing, and secondly with everyone's favourite cat, wanderer (who shall be referred to as scaramouche since technically that's the version i am talking about).

these work because you are supposed to understand that something has gone wrong. you, as the player, know you've been through this before, but no one else does- this is really well done with scaramouche. when he tries to delete all memory of himself, it's just plain weird. you (and the traveller) know he existed, you literally saw him, but no one else seems to know about him. it's good because it fulfils the goal of mystery and unsettling-ness that the quest wants to give you. why are you the only one that remembers this one guy/this one day having occurred before, while no one else does?

tl;dr, building atmosphere while accounting for the player being a force outside of the game.

4. why doesn't the genshin 4.7 version work?

now. what are my problems with the genshin 4.7 version of this plot.

number one, it feels like a huge cop-out. if anyone has watched miraculous ladybug, the fandom there has a huge problem with the showrunners coming up with ways to revert it to the status quo. for something as huge as having the twins reunite, it feels incredibly cheap to just revert it to the status quo by the end- oh, this incredibly important conversation for your traveller emotionally now no longer exists in their memory. which doesn't... sit right? it feels like the devs were too scared to commit to properly advancing forward, which is a shame because i genuinely liked that conversation! it was a good way of helping to advance the plot while still making you feel like there's a long, long way to go before you can finish the story.

number two, making the player character (the traveller) forget. this is an issue because it's an RPG- you're supposed to immerse yourself in the story through the traveller. this is i think why they're such a blank slate- you never hear their voice, you name them whatever you want, you choose what they say (this isn't a bad thing, per se, because when games do this, they do it well, and i generally don't have super big problems with the traveller's writing as a whole). but if you make your player character forget, how does the player reconcile their own knowledge with the character's? somewhere along the line, aether and lumine will probably have the same conversation, but now it'll just feel contrived because we already know what they'll say.

number three, the lack of payoff. so this is kinda linked to number one- i know that not everything has to have huge narrative significance and payoff, yes, but in this scenario i'd argue that anything involving both twins together requires some kind of payoff. this is literally part of the overarching goal of the story, so i'd argue that you need some kind of payoff. like, emotional catharsis. it's like if the fact that your trailblazer has the equivalent of a nuke just chilling within them had no payoff. this interaction amounted to nothing except appeasing the people who wanted to see the abyss twin again- i would argue that there would have been more payoff if they kept the memory, had the traveller not mention it because they feel like if they do so it would disappear, and then have things about like the sea of flowers show up in future dialogue, like if the traveler is speaking to an archon or something.

—

but yes, tl;dr memory plots are generally good but genshin kinda dropped the ball with 4.7 by making the traveller forget. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[spooky-dumb-ass]

"I think, I'll lose my mind in hysteria"

A/N: might contain extremely slight spoilers about Kafka's new story quest

also haha my first time posting my writing on tumblr

Again, it happened again and it was growing tiring. Sleep,wake up in a sweat, shower. Is this deserved? Why can I not recall? I want to remember but I can't… He knows it's Kafka’s doing, he knows it's needed but then again, it's also eating him inside. 

Kafka always was protective about some stellaron infused kid, he always wondered why she did what she did for him..it was impressive to have something to fight for.But he always brushed such thoughts aside like the scars he obtained, he was a broken pot welded together with gold of no worth.

Throughout his time as destiny's slave, Blade has met many people but at the end of every journey he is needed to cleanse his memories of everyone. Which leads him to feel that everyone he meets is familiar yet a stranger, a feeling Blade knows all too well.

The dark room illuminated only by the farther stars and the endless space through his window, he knows he cannot sleep. Helpless, he can only stare at the ceiling while the stampede of thoughts flood his mind. It's frustrating. He wants to remember, he wants to forget, he wants to follow destiny,he wants to live, he wants to break, he wants to be welded. Blade doesn't know why he's thinking of such thoughts when he has already decided his fate. Is this..regret? Guilt? Confusion? About what though? He knows the answer but he remains unsure of its accuracy.

There goes that alarm, it's time to live the day again. If this is my destiny I must live it..right? Sold to something so worthless..That was Blade’s destiny. He cannot remember why he carries incomplete trinkets but he keeps it anyway..just in case.

[crguang]

I want to let you know that I actually squealed when I saw that there was a new part of wasted w longing, so that was embarrassing. I giggled so much, love me some domestic fluff, I also gasped so hard at the ending that I started choking. can't believe you updated while I was in class so didn't see it until later.

kafka is so smug I hate her, I want to kiss her on the mouth so bad she's such a weirdo, but at the same time, I'm mad at her, I'll forgive her if she comes home early on my pulls tho, and also some kafka groveling, very excited to see that. also the writing is so good, like at the end I was questing everything about r's encounter's w kafka. and you said replying to someone else's ask that kafka cares atp. wdym atp? istg I love angst but I can't handle angsty endings being w out kafka also you said himeko is going to show up again, and I know that'll be funny. the cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm really excited for the next part, the plot is plotting. also the way at the beginning I literally said out loud, "oh she just got shot, it's okay."

the wanted poster is so funny, like whoever wrote it down must've seen footage of her shooting people as she breaks into somewhere and thought, damn, she is hot as fuck, and tbh that was my thought process when I watched kafka's trailer the first time.

hope your first day at uni was good! if you made me loose my 50/50 I'll---

-🌠

not the squealinggg thats so cute im flattered. it’s funny whenever yall say i post when yall are busy because it’s always 4 to 6 am here i have a horrible sleep schedule 😭 i loved writing the more domestic part cause that’s the first time they actually spend time together without sleeping together and it was kinda cuteee, if you ignore the getting shot part.

“i hate her i wanna kiss her on the mouth shes such a weirdo” is exactly how i feel about kafka im so glad im not alone… also, i meant that at this point of the story kafka already knows that she likes R; she goes out of her way to look out for them, she stares a lot, wants to help them through their dilemma and other stuff that’ll come later. in her mind shes not in love with them but she does like them. i think due to her closed off nature, a lot of the little hints of how she feels are in the way she looks at R and since this is written from R’s (sometimes unreliable) perspective, i mentioned how they can’t read her eyes yet so to them there’s no reciprocation right now. and now that they’re mad at her everything she does will feel disingenuous when it might not be. it’s tricky to write bc as readers i want people to be able to tell that kafka cares even when she’s being a little shit while also staying true to how R sees things. i do think it’ll become much more obvious starting from the next chapter tho cause there will be some grovelling involved lmfaoo.

also this was literally her at the end:

r: i will call the police on you.

kafka: i am so attracted to you right now

its funny, R is always making themself available for her and has been doing that from the beginning so kafka’s very used to this behavior and its the reason why she’s so fucking smug. but now she’s seeing a new side to them that she really likes. they’re standing up for themself and i think it’s a quality that she’d find really attractive in a person. but yeah it’s fun i love this series mainly because the idea mostly came from anons so i love hearing what yall think about it.

my first day at uni was nice!! im looking to getting my shit together honestly, i feel like an actual adult now so hopefully it helps with my mood as well and makes it easier for me to be productive cause i dont write fast at all. if you lose the 50/50 bc of me i’ll write whatever you want as consolation prize

[heaven-s-black-box]

Past and Future- OC ensemble & Jing Yuan & Silver Wolf

Return to File

Recovery date: April 15th, 2025

Description: The past and future pass one another like ships in the night.

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with @crystalkat6747, we thank her for her contributions.

Luofu: Pt.1 Pt.2

Main Quest: Act 1 Act 2 Act 3

Penacony: N-P Pt.3 Pt.4

Wardance: pt.1 pt.2

Elsaria post Wardance: pt. 1 pt.2

Word count: 1 628

Back to directory

Yamakaji had always been slightly baffled by the security of the palace. It was lax, but no one was ever unguarded. Even as children, before she and her sisters could defend themselves, they were always left seemingly unguarded. Of course she eventually realized they were always followed at a distance, given an illusion of freedom that fostered independence. She’d hoped to someday apply the same principle to her child. Her son…

Everything was as she’d left it. The halls, her room– a sight that dried her throat and burned her eyes–, and the garden. She sat on the window seat to look out at the garden where her parents and sisters set a table, bathed in the golden hour glow. Her niece and nephew came out with torches, setting them in the ground to light the coming dark. A happy little sight.

She was glad to see Kakeru doing well.

“Enjoying the view?”

“It’s always been my favorite. Maybe I’ll steal some flowers for Kafka, do you think she’d like them?”

“Gross, I’m not helping you two flirt,” Silver Wolf scoffed, voice crackling through the ear piece. “Are you sure it’s still there?”

“That’s what the script says, and I don't see a reason for-”

Footsteps pulled her from her conversation, and her gaze snapped to the closed door. 

“Call back later.”

The sound grew closer, and she carefully stood up to quietly inch towards her bed.

When the handle began to creak, she slipped under the bed, hidden by the hanging sheet. A small smile pulled at her lips at the memories hidden under here. Carved into the bed frame was a cringy heart filled with initials, and stickers that Aoi and Ayano placed while bored during hide and seek.

The door clicked open and the footsteps entered, crossing the room until they stopped at the window.

She hated that she knew who it was. The hours she’d spent listening for his footfall were embarrassing, picking him out from the handmaids and her family. The hours she’d spent listening to him move around this very room, eyes closed as she feigned sleep.

All she had to do was lift the sheets and slide out from her hiding place… but he was always the most honest when she was asleep.

“I always thought you should have been the first to know.” There was a long, tired sigh as Dai Koushaku spoke with ease. Like he’d done this a million times. “It’s been my one regret that you never got to meet him. Sometimes I wonder how we would have worked if he’d been born on time.” The footsteps moved again, drawing closer to the bed. Yamakaji pushed herself further back as if that would hide her. “Have you found someone else, wherever you are? Are you even still out there?”

There was silence, filled only by the pounding of Yamakaji’s heart.

“Dad?” She’d completely missed the approaching footsteps, but on instinct she turned towards the door even though she couldn’t see anything. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Wonderful,” there was a sarcastic bitterness to his voice, and the other person laughed awkwardly.

Dai Koushaku and Nagisa left Yamakaji’s old room, closing the door behind them.

In the garden Jing Yuan was laughing at a story Sayuri was telling, and Aoi and Ayano were flushed in embarrassment with their faces buried in their hands. Jing Yuan had a hand on Aoi’s back, patting her back in reassurance though she didn’t seem to be paying any attention.

Kakeru and Kesshou were sitting across from their mothers, trying not to embarrass them by laughing too hard. Nagisa was pretty sure laughing also made Kakeru’s chest hurt. He sat beside Kesshou, and his father sat beside him. Sayuri was across from Jing Yuan, and Kudoku was at the head of the table.

“Ah, Nagisa, surely you’ll like this story. It was all your mother’s doing after all,” Sayuri laughed.

“Maybe we should give the girls a break,” Kudoku suggested, placing a hand over his wife’s. “Besides, I’d like to make a toast.”

He stood up, lifting his wine glass and prompting everyone else to do the same. “A toast to family. Lost, found,” he looked to Nagisa, “new,” he looked to Aoi and Jing Yuan, Dai Koushaku bit back a click of his tongue, “and old.” He looked to his wife who rolled her eyes, earning laughter from their children and grandchildren.

“Cheers!”

Their glasses clinked together in the dying light, and Kudoku sat back down.

“Now then-”

“Nagisa, it really is wonderful to see you doing so well,” Aoi said, cutting her mother off before she could start another story.

The three grandchildren all snickered, and Nagisa cleared his throat to answer.

“I’m grateful for my dad’s dedication to saving me.” He looked to the man beside him and smiled. “It can’t have been easy.”

“No decision has ever been easier.”

“Kakeru, stop stealing all the meat,” Kesshou scolded.

“I’m not stealing it! Besides, I need it to heal, right Nagisa?”

“If you keep eating so fast you’ll make yourself sick.” Nagisa reached over and took some of the meat off of Kakeru’s plate. “I think Kesshou and I should help lessen your portion.”

“Hey!”

“Good idea.”

“Kesshou, stay away from my food! Nagisa, hey!”

Sayuri sighed. “They’re so much like you three. Do you remember when we used to bake together and you’d always steal the cookies before they cooled completely? Then you would whine about how you’d burnt your tongue.”

“Mother, please.”

“It seems some things don’t change,” Jing Yuan laughed. “Yanqing’s much the same way too.”

“Then I’ll have another competitor for cookies,” Kesshou declared with far too much seriousness, looking at her mother. “At least this one won’t be able to reach the counter top for a while.”

“That never stopped you,” Ayano laughed. “Oh no, you would just climb onto Kakeru’s shoulders if you couldn’t find a stool or some precarious grip.”

Kesshou putted, and then turned to Nagisa. “Do you like cookies?”

Nagisa nodded, “They were the first thing I learned to bake.”

“We should make some tomorrow,” Kakeru declared.

“Speaking of tomorrow, your grandmother and I would like to show you three something.”

Grandmother… Three… Ah, they really do acknowledge me.

Nagisa found himself leaning closer as Sayuri launched into another story about her three daughters.

—

It’s almost strange to find such a dark area in the palace. But then, it’s not really in the palace, is it? It’s also not really dark. Everything is void, dark and endless. An absence of anything but spattered with stars and painted with the colorful gasses of nebulas. It is no where and everywhere, a pocket of the universe.

“Why?” Kakeru asks. “Why a pocket dimension, aren’t you worried it’ll be unstable?”

“No, it’s lasted this long, hasn’t it? Besides, it needs to be able to expand endlessly. The labor required to maintain a physical room is inefficient,” Kudoku replied.

Nagisa, Kakeru, and Kesshou were slowly wandering into the depths while Sayuri and Kudoku slowly trailed behind. Kesshou was examining the sword that belonged to Elsaria’s founder, displayed above a plaque and in front of a painting done post mortem. Kakeru was a bit further into the hall, Sayuri came up beside him, he was looking at a journal. It was also in front of a painting and above a plaque. Nagisa was near the end of the hall, or at least where the hall ended for now. He stood before a pair of broken wings in front of a painting and above a plaque.

Kakeru looked back, and a scowl pulled at his lips.

“That plaque needs an update.”

“It will, don’t worry,” Sayuri said, following him to Nagisa’s side while Kesshou and Kudoku caught up.

“What will you leave here, Kesshou?”

“Who knows.” She turned to her grandfather. “What did you leave?”

Kudoku waved them to the other side of the room. Across from his exhibit was an empty one where Kesshou would one day leave an item, and a plaque would be made to immortalize her great achievements.

The exhibit they stood before now held only a framed photo.

Three young girls stood before their parents. Dressed in kimonos, the youngest wore blue, the middle girl wore purple, and the tallest girl wore pink. They were smiling, the youngest seemed to be mid laughter and trying to run away from the eldest girl’s hand which reached behind the middle girl.

“Dad wasn’t kidding… I really do look like her.”

Nagisa reached out, fingers hovering just away from the glass frame over his mother’s smiling face. Sayuri seemed slightly annoyed in the picture, no doubt wanting a nice picture with her children who couldn’t seem to behave. Ayano looked completely oblivious to the playful torment Aoi was being subjected to.

“Your mom’s short.”

“She’s- how old is she here?”

“Aoi was, what, nine?” Kudoku asked his wife who nodded. “Yamakaji was thirteen, and Ayano had just turned eleven I think.”

“Why did you choose this picture?”

“Because it’s the thing I’m most proud of in my reign.”

The three grandchildren looked back at the picture, and then turned to take in the entire hall. Weapons, armor, books, and ornaments; all the pride and joy of the rulers. Things that stood for what they’d done for their people, and Kudoku had decided that the greatest thing to come of his reign were his three daughters.

Kakeru and Nagisa couldn’t help but look at Kesshou who stood between them, looking at the plaque. 

“I think I know what I want to put there now.” She hesitated, arms twitching, before wrapping them around Kakeru and Nagisa to pull them into an awkward side hug. “You two better stick around until then.”

[ohmeadows]

very interested to hear your fu xuan thoughts now that she’s out !

first of all love her second of all i'll just do this in bullet points because my brain is soggy cereal today:

starting with her character stories, so spoilers under the cut:

she hails from the xianzhou yuque, famed for their divinations and jade abaci export, and it mentions that "centuries passed" so. she's at least, at the barest minimum, two centuries old, probably older. she ran away from the yuque to attempt and avoid a foretold destiny, namely that she would kill her teacher. indeed her teacher even says it was part of the reason why he took her on as a student.

this is interesting because it ties into her teacher's prediction that she becomes master diviner of the yuque, a destiny she defies by running away. but...

xianzhou fleet follows star calendar dating, and in 8072, third abundance war happened, a decisive year for many on the luofu. (caiyi dies in this war, as well as dan shu's love.) fu xuan, annoyed that the divination commission can't do much to help in the battle, devises a plan to use the cloudpeer telescope, putting it on the battlefield and calling down lan's arrow to raze it, winning the fight. jing yuan agrees to her plan, but takes responsibility for it. as a way to protect her.

she is willing to go down and be the one to call on lan. but no. the person who goes down with the cloudpeer telescope... is her mentor. he dies. as does many. but the battle is won.

this battle happens roughly 30 years before current timeline in-game, where while it's not confirmed 100%, we can guesstimate that we are around 8098 or 8100 SC (xianzhou reckoning, we know it's 2158 Amber Era, IPC calendar) which, sidebar, jingliu was ""killed"" by jing yuan in 7380. that's almost 700 years of the high cloud quintet survivors being tormented in various ways.

not sure of the timing of this report, but lan is on the move again.

the third war is very interesting because it left part of the hexafleet struggling to recover; luofu only recovered because of widening trade, something we see reflected in tingyun, yukong opting to work in the skyfaring commission, and aurum alley. and it was won because of fu xuan's choices.

in the time since, she seems to have come to terms with destiny being impossible to change. she writes in this letter (emphasis mine):

Let me be more straightforward here — the way the Matrix of Prescience Ultima operates is like a black box. We know that we can derive a frighteningly accurate prediction from the Chaos system by "observing our observation," but no one knows how it works nor can anyone explain it. Many, including my colleagues from the Divination Commission, consider this to be an example of how humans can change or select the future with their own power. But for me... I will interpret this from another perspective... The past, present, and future are not diachronic, but synchronic. (This statement denies the existence of time, so the use of "diachronic" and "synchronic" might be slightly inappropriate.) Every moment in the universe has been predetermined since the genesis. That is to say, it is impossible to change the future.

i find this very fascinating because we can thus also trace what that war did to her mindset and point of view; she doesn't think the future can be changed and that the universe is a deterministic one. (note that i don't think it's proof it is, as we saw with kafka and our choices in her quest, she also grapples with the question of if everything is predetermined or not. these are their point of views.)

now, some other observations and picking at her voicelines:

so, the omniscia/third eye she has is a gift from nous the erudition, also known as the wisdomwalker on the xianzhou. she writes in glimpses into the beyond that she has had at least one audience with nous, and regards them highly. (i also wrote more in-depth about that book here already, so i won't dig too deep right now.) she's had it most of her adult life, even before the third abundance war, before leaving the yuque.

despite being harsh sometimes, she's not mean. this comes across very well in march 7th's quest, i think: she does care what people think about her, but she's not about to go simpering or sucking up to get liked. i really respect that in a character, especially female? i've seen men write her off as a walking red flag of a personality, which is hilarious to me. she's a delight! just not your soft uwu waifu.

she loves her boba and milk tea. she claims it eases her constant pain from the third eye, which kind of tracks for me, i usually need to have caffeine in some form to help alleviate migraines. she likes them far too sweet for my liking, however, but she's big on teas. (it's suspected she is the one arguing that startaro tea is amazing and everyone else is just a loser and hater.)

and the pain. so, xianzhou natives, because of the abundance's blessing, are constantly healing. nous implanted a third eye into her that if it had been made by mortals, would have just been rejected. her body is constantly fighting this third eye, pushing it out, but it does not budge because of nous' powers. hence, unending pain until the day she dies. she even refers to it as an eternal punishment.

also worth noting how she's a follower of nous, while being on qlipoth's path.

her trigram talk sounds a lot like the i ching to me, and she's constantly consulting it, sometimes several times even before breakfast. implication? that she does not like surprises, perhaps. that knowing the future is her greatest security.

in march 7th's quest, i feel like we get to see a very protective side of her. she does not take lightly at having her work interfered with, even by fuli's followers, and you can see a glimmer of why she follows both qlipoth and nous here: intense desire to protect, and intense desire to know the truth at the bottom of it all, even if it makes her unhappy.

i also think her desire to be general stems from her preservation path, beyond just ambition. sure, she wants power, but to me she seems to want power to ultimately protect and guide.

ignorance is not bliss to fu xuan, to put it lightly.

she notes that the trailblazer doesn't have a trace of future destinies around them, and calls it strange. gestures.

[qintella]

9am thoughts (NSFW Honkai star Rail)

CW: Bondage & c0ck slapping

I haven’t touched the newest quests or whatnot, however, blade? Fuck dawg. Him and Kafka I’m literally weak in my mf knees. Now as much as I want them both to dominate me, I’ll get into that later. I think Kafka and I should overpower Blade. Think about it. We scold him for being stupid enough to get captured (or whatever was going on I wasn’t paying attention) and as soon as we get home, it’s wraps for him. We bind him to the bed, and Kafka starts by being RUTHLESS. Slapping his cock while he flinched and tries not to cry. While I’m caressing the sides of his face gently, telling him “it’ll be okay.”

no it won’t.

He insists he won’t break, but when he’s leaking and apologizing like there’s no tomorrow, we give in and give him the utmost pleasure to his red, angry cock. Both our lips around him at once, while he changes his apologies to. “I’ll never do it again.”

just us being Blade’s perfect little mommies omg ❤️🥹

[ultimate-blorbo-collector]

Okay, so I haven't finished the new quest yet, and I wanted to put my thoughts here so I can say I was right/wrong whatever. I've just finished where you talk with the whole Astral Express crew, and I haven't talked to them individually. I have also done like no side quests btw. I did the event with the TVs and the Meme, but that's been about it.

Spoilers for 2.0 penacony but not really for 2.1 bc I'm not that far yet.

Here's who I trust/distrust and why (also a percentage about how strong I feel about it):

Trust:

Astral Express crew - 100% - We have no reason to question them unless we think it's Sparkle in disguise. Imo Sparkle isn't that slick since I knew something was off with the Sampo in the quest (though I hear Sampo's changed recently. Idk. All ik is I heard them say Sampo instead of "Sampo Koski! :3" and I was low-key sad about it) and Sunday caught on real quick (I feel like he would have even if Robin was alive).

Black Swan - 70% - Idk man. This one's just based off pure vibes. I think she wants to help overall.

Stellaron Hunters/Elio - 50% - Unpopular opinion but hear me out. I think Kafka genuinely thinks what she's doing is right. After the Sam/Acherone conversation, I think he is also doing what he thinks is right. Would I be super surprised if we end up getting stabbed in the back? No, but I trust Sam, Kafka, and Acheron.

Acheron - 50% - I've had a real strong feeling since the beginning that she's been framed for this. Aventurine REALLY wants us to think she did it. As you can see, Aventurine is down the list, so... Also, the Sam/Acheron conversation really convinced me on it. I think she's doing what she thinks is right.

Dr. Ratio - 30% - Okay, I know that putting Ratio and Aventurine at opposite sides of this doesn't make sense but hear me out. If he was telling the truth to Screwllum, I think Ratio follows some Utilitarian ethics (as in, "It doesn't matter if I do this bad thing if the result is a net positive"), so while I think he genuinely does care about Aventurine, I think he’d throw him under the bus and do what he thinks is the net good if it came down to it. At the same time, it could be the reverse for us. The only thing is we have no clue what this mf is up to or what he's thinking. We've seen him, like, twice. I might also be biased since, like Aventurine, he's my little uwu baby who can do no wrong.

Sunday/The Family - 30% - I think March(? I don't remember who said it lol) is right about the family being low-key sketchy. The fact that they've been hiding deaths and the Meme is... eh... but overall I think they're somewhat trustworthy. It could be a 'keeping things quiet while we investigate' type of thing. We still don't know what's going in with the watchmaker and the invites though.

Misha/Clocky - 20% - Maybe this is just because of the watchmaker theories, but I feel like there's something more going on with Misha and/or Clocky. The fact that no one else can see him except us?? They've also been real quiet lately. Maybe they're just goofy side characters, or maybe not. I don't think they're bad, but I don't think they've told us everything.

Distrust:

Aventurine - 70% - I love Aventurine, and in my fanfics that I haven't posted, he's such an uwu baby who can do no wrong. BUT. I feel like the man will do anything to survive. Like Himeko and Welt said, he's very manipulative and wants us to think a certain way. I also feel like the "My schemes are out in the open" is a lie. Like, you can say your scheme is out in the open, but they might not really be in the open. I really feel like that's a logical fallacy but idk the names of the fallacies. Something also doesn't feel right working with imperialists. Sorry, Aventurine.

[noicevibes]

YES YOU DID IT I'M SO PROUD OF YOU JAIDEN! Okay but for real that super jump in damage is so unnecessary oasidjfoasd like come on now mihoyo lmao that's fair to expect something more! but damn yeah i can still see how that would be an impactful/heavy diagnosis to get. if you ever wanna talk about medical stuff and all that jazz or anything really, my dm's are always open to you <3

Yes it feels like so long ago! But it's okay sometimes we need to go afk for a while to just recover and all that, and it sounds like it was definitely needed! And i just saw that you finished the story!! what did you think?! God yes im like so obsessed with her?? I wondered why i wasn't super into hsr at first like everyone else but it was definitely bc i play for women in this game. And yes i shall be posting it :3 though if i decide not to post i will at least show you in dms hehe <3

Thank you so much!!!!! <3333 and OH MY GOD, I was doing the Black Swan quest and the garbage can showed up again and I got like, a panic stress hot flash LOL but it was fine, I "beat" it... evil garbage cans.

Like I genuinely thought it was something even worse!!!! it's a relief, and also, just a surprise that it was that, after all, hehe. You're such a sweetie, ilyyyyy, and yes, mine are too!!!! AND I'LL DO BETTER AT RESPONDING KLSHFLS oopsies

It absolutely was, I didn't want to start bringing a negative energy to everyone and to the dash, nor commit to making promises I wouldn't be able to keep (which is partially why I was in such a funk, I'm a yes man in the worst of ways). It is really nice to be back, though, I missed you all very much. <33 AHHH I CRIED, I CRIED FOR AVENTURINE, I GOT SOGGY FOR THE TIDBITS WE GOT OF ACHERON, AND WATCHING MY SWEET LITTLE TRAILBLAZER PANIC AND SAD BECAUSE OF FIREFLY MADE MY HEART BREAK (my sweet little Caelus does not deserve trauma after trauma, HYV STOP IT) and same!!! idk what it was holding me back from liking Acheron, she's just... great. haha, it's hard not to play for them, though I'm certainly the opposite, I fought tooth and nail for the men so the only one I'm missing from them is Misha lol! I regret missing Kafka's and Sparkle's banners tho... hopefully they replay Sparkle soon...

[mechazushi]

Okay, back from work so I can scream with clarity now.

F*CK, YEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!! IT ALL LOOKS SO GOOD!

For one, I can totally see Narumi wanting to spam the Witcher equivalent of eldrich blast on any enemies he deems unworthy of his blade. (I don't know if Witcher has eldrich blast, i'm not familier with their works.) And Hoshina constantly telling him off for wasting camp resources on experimental potion making...

Hoshina: *smacking him over the head with a wooden training sword* STOP! USING! THE! CAMP'S! SUPPLY! OF! COOKING! HERBS! Narumi: Five more minutes! I think I've stumbled on a coffee substitute here!

(C*caine. He made c*caine.)

As for the Mina resurrection, (I totally understand bringing her back and having it signify season 2) I kinda see it as Rin coming up with a plan to resurrect Mina and she recruits Kafka and Hoshina for it and Kafka's all like, "She's my dearest friend and a great warrior, she should stay dead and have her place of burial respected due to her service of being a great warrior!" And Rin drops "You're a shit friend if you haven't noticed that her soul has been restless for seven thousand years." which makes Kafka go "What?". So they get there and they perform a ritual that wasn't the ritual that it was stated to be and Rin drops the "Okay, I know that was a d*ck move, but I promise you I have good intentions for this." card and Kafka says "B*TCH, I CAN LITERALLY WISH WHATEVER PROBLEM YOU HAVE AWAY! YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED!?!?" And Rin replies with "Okay, so you can just fix [ goes into extreme detail over a very layered and complex geopolitical turmoil happening between the fiefdom that she's from and the kingdom that's fighting to absorb it into it's borders.] which makes Kafka go *smacks lips in thought* "No I cannot. Resurrection it is." (Obviously, it wasn't supposed to be a resurrection, they're just stuck with it being a resurrection, you know what I mean?)

I don't know how Mina getting resurrected would fix a country's political turmoil, but halfway through trying to fix it, they find out why Mina's soul hasn't been properly laid to rest which leads into a side quest that ties into the "Fixing the Problem" quest. Then they come up with a system that makes it so Mina technically has all of her soul back, but she can choose when she's laid back to rest and she decides that she would like to stay with Kafka for a bit again.

And since this is season two, I can totally see her going ham on the teasing once she found out that Kafka bonded to Hoshina. Just casually lets it drop in conversation to Narumi that Hoshina is totally Kafka's type due to previous conversations they've had over who would Dragon Kafka find attractive if he wasn't a dragon. Which causes Kafka to retaliate and spill the beans on her favorite things to Rin because Mina keeps personal details close to the chest out of social anxiety and fear of embarrassment unless she has a close and deep relationship with someone.

Mina: I'm not surprised those two bonded. Kafka's always had a thing for cocky leadership types. I can't tell you the amount of times I've caught him in the throws of woe stemming from him not being able to court Witchers safely while being a dragon. It's almost as if he has a thing for people that can kill him. *Stares at Kafka pointedly* Kafka: . . . Kafka: *turns around to Rin* Her favorite animal is large cats, her favorite color is black, her favorite novel is this trashy lesbian romance series called "Where the Wind Blows the Hottest", her favorite food is - Mina: *Stabs machete blade into his mouth in embarrassment* Kafka: *Pulls out the blade* Now, that's just rude. Mina: *Whispers* Tell everyone about that novel again, and I'll tell everyone about that time you tried to date my uncle. Kafka: . . . Truce? Mina: Truce.

You can't tell me they DON'T have a friendship where they know better than to air out the chat rooms, but jump at the chance to do so when appropriate.

hahaha, yeah, might have been re-obsessed with my own AU here, because some @mechazushi fueled my brain with new content about them..so I can't help it.. once again diving deep into the fantasyy... and next to the Witcher and Skyrim law... well I came along with something else as well now :D

*mushes WOW into the fantasy pile*

Part 1 here

Oh, and THIS time I'll add my thoughts about them IN the description, how 'bout that? (▀U ▀-͠)

Narumi Gen:

Witcher/Hunter and counterpart/companion of Soshiro Hoshina. They both initially travelled to the mountains to find a rumored dragon's den to slay said. His skills are very much resembling what a witchers can do, and he is remarkable in swords art, but also a formidable sourcerer for fight related magic and enchantment. Hoshina lacks the skill for advanced spells. They have an unspoken agreement to help each other get better with the skills the lack. He also prepares most of their potions.

Mina Ashiro:

(OK, listen Reno bb, pls don't cry, I promise you get your own ref sheet, I already made some scribbles as well!! She just shoved herself into my brain last night, and I liked it, so I simply had to do this! (~￣³￣)~ I'll make it up buddy <3)

I very much loved the idea of her being a long gone friend of dragon Kafka, that gifted him his human form and influenced his life so much. It suits the story sooo good!! But I kinda was sad she wasn't part of the current story anymore... ಡ ﹏ ಡ Well yeah, that's what I thought about yesterday while working on Narumi, got to bed, and at like 2 am a word hit me like a rock and I was fcking wide awake..

Banshee... ╭( ๐_๐)╮omg, that's gonna be awesome, I'mma make her a banshee like Sylvana and she's gonna be there and has to rediscover the world, since she was gone so long.

sfhfsdldkjthat's what I did. She is a banshee now, lol. A half-elf banshee, might I add. Revived by a necromancer in a very complicated ritual. So basically - welcome to season 2 of this AU of ours I guess? The necromancer in question (oh my, who could it possibly be, I ask? It's ma gurl Rin, of course) contacted Kafka and his party, with the intention to perform a ritual on Mina's grave to free her soul, which is still clinging to earth because of a later discovered act of betrayal that 'caused Tachikawa to fall when their enemies arrived. (smth like this, I dunno, I didn't think this part through a lot, lol)

For performing the ritual she needs, amongst other things, detailed information and a contribution of someone that was close with the deceased. After finding Mina's grave and corpse deep down in the catacombs of Tachikawas ruins they start the ritual. Kafka needs to contribute a scale and some details about Mina in the past, that the necromancer incorporates into the ritual. To everyone's suprise she also adds her own blood. The necromancer reveals her true goal to not free but capture Mina's soul and obtain her powers. But something goes wrong (maybe because of Kafka interrupting the ritual now, or smth idk) and instead Mina is revived as an undead soul with a new (but slightly unfinished) body. Because of the contributed blood she is bound to her summoner for as long as it takes her to find and free the part of her soul that is in fact still captured somewhere on earth. (Oh no - so Kafka gets his bestie back, that is also basically immortal :| And I def. have in mind some enemies to lovers bullsh*t here with the banshee and her necromancer, lol sorry not sorry)

I used a whole bunch of references that I would like to mention:poses 1 2 3 + clothing 1 2

[caffeinatedseri]

Murakami and Ranpo

Some minor spoilers ahead for the third BSD LN, The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency." If you aren't concerned with spoilers, I did my best with summarizing the plot for anyone who hasn't read the novel.

In the third BSD LN, Fukuzawa and Ranpo are tasked with finding the culprit of an ominous death threat at a theatrical play. The threat is written as follows:

“An angel shall bring death, in the truest sense of the word, to the performer. —V.”

This threat fits perfectly with the play, which is a mystery play where each character gets killed by an "angel" who murders. However, the characters don't know if they're being killed by an angel or a regular person, because there's nothing supernatural about their causes of death (getting stabbed by a knife, poison, strangulation, etc.).

Each character was a former angel who had been banished from the celestial world, because they admired humans so much that God turned them into humans. Therefore, the characters in the play believed that an angel was sent after them to punish them for their sins.

This sets up two mysteries for us to follow:

1. The mystery of the real death threat, sent by "V" — who is the culprit behind it, who will they kill, and why?

2. The mystery within the play — is it an angel or real person killing each character, and why?

Paradoxes (and Things That Don't Make Sense)

The play is called, "The Living World is a Dream, the Nocturnal Dream is Reality," which is a quote from the real Edogawa Ranpo's work, but I couldn't find the exact source. The title proposes a paradox: reality is a dream, and dreams are reality.

Several other paradoxes present themselves in the story, but they appear most prominently in Ranpo's big speech where he solves the mystery of the play, and the murder simultaneously:

“The murder and the play’s story are connected on a deep level. This play reversed the tide of the narrative. A group of fallen angels tried to return to the heavens, but the angel of judgment tried to stop them. Meanwhile, the angel’s judgment was but a show, and the supposed victim, a human, faked it. The angel’s and humans’ roles were reversed, switching the judge and the judged. That’s the kind of play this was. "

"...the narrative is in reverse. Our structures have been swapped along with the victim and killer as well. In other words—he isn’t the killer, but a victim."

This reveal subverts the original expectation that the plot would follow two separate mysteries. Instead, the lines are blurred between reality and fiction, killer and killed, and dreams and reality because now the two mysteries are intertwined.

I think this part of the story is deliberately written to be confusing (or at least not very clearly explained) as to fit in with the themes found in Murakami's writing.

Who is Murakami?

Haruki Murakami is a famous Japanese author, and you may have read some of his famous works, "Norwegian Wood" and "Kafka on the Shore."

Since this is Bungou (Literary) Stray Dogs, Murakami makes an appearance in this light novel as the main actor of the play.

Before I go on to explain Murakami's role in the novel, I'll give a brief background on his real counterpart and explain how the theatrical play in the novel reflects the real Murakami's work.

Murakami writes in the genre of "magical realism", where the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred as magical elements are seamlessly incorporated into the story. I'll be using "Kafka on the Shore" as the main example for this point, since it's a great example of Murakami's expertise in magical realism.

In "Kafka on the Shore," there are 2 interrelated plot lines, alternating with each chapter, similar to the 2 supposed mysteries outlined at the beginning of the novel.

Like its moniker, "Kafka on the Shore" resembles a "Kafkaesque" style of writing due to its surreal elements that are bizarre and illogical in the rules of reality.

In an interview about this novel, Murakami said:

"Kafka on the Shore contains several riddles, but there aren't any solutions provided. Instead, several of these riddles combine, and through their interaction the possibility of a solution takes shape. And the form this solution takes will be different for each reader. To put it another way, the riddles function as part of the solution. It's hard to explain, but that's the kind of novel I set out to write."

The Outcome of the Play

In theme with Murakami's bizarre, magical-realism writings, several illogical events take place within the span of the LN:

1. Before the play even starts, Murakami (the character) and the rest of the cast completely disregard the death threat. Even though the logical and safe solution would be to reschedule the play, it is a very literal representation of "the play must go on" mindset.

2. Murakami gets stabbed mid-sentence, on stage by a white blade that magically disappears.

3. Murakami bleeds real blood and has no pulse, which would signify his death, but he doesn't actually die.

Despite all this, Ranpo is extremely good at observing various elements of a situation and putting them together to form a solution, much like how the interactions of "Kafka on the Shore"'s riddles form their own solution.

Ranpo appears on stage and makes an Oscar-worthy performance out of his announcement that reveals Murakami to be the culprit behind his own death. It doesn't make much logical sense that Murakami would fake his own death for a performance, but rather it's an action motivated by pure passion.

“I…,” muttered Murakami in almost a whisper. He raised his voice and continued, “I am an actor! I become someone I am not and live a life that doesn’t exist! My job is to expose what it means to be human! It doesn’t matter if I play the lead part or a minor part. It doesn’t matter if I am a villain or hero. I become them with every part of my body! There is no other job for me! This is the only way I can live!”

And here, Murakami reveals the final paradox of the play:

"But there is one thing that cannot be avoided while acting on the stage of life, and that is death! Death is not the opposite of life; it is life’s symbol and banner. However, it also provides a great paradox! Nobody alive has ever experienced it! That’s why to me, the greatest job of all would be performing the death of a person. Not death as a device or a mere convention, but real death that I could convey to the audience. That was the pinnacle of theatrical performance to me. And this is the outcome of my toil."

Murakami eventually gets arrested for the fake death threat and deceiving the police, among other things. The most notable moment after this comes in Ranpo's dialogue to Murakami:

“I thought you were amazing,” Ranpo suddenly said from behind as Murakami was being taken away. “I didn’t quite understand all of it myself, but I don’t think it’s something that just anyone could do. By the way, take a look at the audience. Look at their faces.”

1. Ranpo sees Murakami's act as something admirable, most likely because Ranpo appreciates a good mystery and had fun solving it.

2. Ranpo tells Murakami to look at the audience, to which he turns around and sees the faces of a broken audience who came to watch a play and instead witnessed a real not-so-real murder.

“You said your job was entertainment, right? But could you really call it that…when you look at their expressions?” For the first time, Murakami’s eyes showed a sign of weakness. “…I see.” A small voice, unlike what one would expect from a stage actor with a powerful voice, fell from the stage. “I was…only performing for myself.”

Murakami realizes that he traumatized his entire audience on his quest to reach the "pinnacle of theatrical performance." In his small world that consisted of just the stage, he failed to see the outside world and forgot to consider how his actions would impact others. It's also important to mention that it was Ranpo specifically who pointed it out to him.

The focus on the audience mirrors Fukuzawa's thoughts when Ranpo was giving his big speech before Murakami appeared on the stage:

Fukuzawa was at his wits’ end. From the playgoers’ point of view, the fact that people knew there was going to be a murder beforehand completely changed their view of the situation. Was it really okay to tell them that? But Ranpo showed no concern for the audience’s worries.

Ranpo, throughout the entire novel, is portrayed as this extraordinarily ordinary kid who means well but simply doesn't understand what others are thinking. He was taught that he wasn't special, but this only isolated him into his own tiny world, because the outside world was filled with things he didn't understand.

This leads to him upsetting a bunch of people by blatantly calling out things about them that shouldn't be called out, like the theater's owner Ms. Egawa, and even Fukuzawa at one point.

However, this moment when he calls out Murakami is pivotal because it shows how he's grown from this event. He's learned to be considerate of others. He's seen how he can upset other people with the things he says, and he's learned from that enough to show another person who's trapped in their own individual world.

Although Ranpo is depicted to be somewhat self-centered throughout this novel and even after it, Fukuzawa taught him that he isn't alone in this world. Because Fukuzawa showed compassion to Ranpo, a special fifteen-year-old kid who didn't know better in a world of monsters, Ranpo learned how to exist in a world where he was different from everyone else, and that was okay.

Thank you for reading! If you haven't read this LN yet, I would still highly recommend it because I didn't cover the entirety of the mystery, and it's a wonderful read to understand more about Ranpo and Fukuzawa's backstory.

[shy-magpie]

RQG Season 3 Recap

Okay I wasn't expecting to live blog this but between them threatening to play one another and Lydia calling Zolf "sad sea dad" I have no choice but to at least take notes. Firstly did Lydia start us calling Zolf that or did she get it from us? Because either way delights me I love how she says "little did he know" "Little did they know Sasha was more dangerous than all of them put together" "Little Gambling Man?" Helen is a delight "the medium of explosion" Lydia remembers the important one Ben! Don't blame Sasha for losing the fight Lydia still remembers that jump Helen's reaction to Bryn preparing to list The Six Clues is great Lydia simultaneously sounds offended they didn't help Bi Ming more and that the fans didn't catch he was a fence who could take care of himself. Speaking for myself I thought it was clear but his breaking the law was not a priority after finding out that Sasha might have 1 decent parental figure in her life They are talking RQG dream daddy, because they do love the fandom. (you have Bi Ming and Zolf, Apophis if you stretch it, I refuse to believe anyone wants to date Salah Sr.) Did Ben try to skip his own backstory? Alex should be proud of those foreshadows/plot hooks Alex is still mad about James obsessing over the Veil of Gambling with Your Life No you don't get to skip Kew, do you have any idea how much character stuff happened there? OK Ben is fair and gives Lydia credit for saving them in Kew Lydia considers the fish puns a major plot point but they all are very clear they were at best micro aggressions (that the Cult weren't nice to Zolf doesn't excuse that) Weather and the metal tentacle need to be followed up on Bertie "rich white manned his way to France" Never getting over the journalist nearly taking them out Hoverboard wheelchair was cool I love that introducing Ed, and Newton being a redacted are the only parts of the side quest worth mentioning "Philosophy happens" I love that Brutor and Brock are the bits Helen knows It was "I miss you Sasha, why do I miss you" and broke my heart out of all proportion Ben insists its Zolf's fault Mr. Ceiling went bad "Angsted around Paris" Helen knows about Hamid crying outside Zolf's door It is a shame they didn't do the Eiffel Tower quest. Sasha tried but no back up and Alex didn't want her to do it alone Oscar started fairly awful tbf Alex had to break him for us to start caring I can't take the Zolf-Bertie fight no matter how funny they are describing it. (also I  know I will never have proof but I have a pet theory Ben did that in part because they knew James was leaving and didn't want us to think "you die in the game you leave the show") "shock Helen more wholesome than James" Yeah Helen, unless you kill someone on air we aren't buy that you aren't wholesome. (I'd probably help dispose of the body before I thought to ask about her motive) Alex spill or quit taunting us "Sups evil" Alex on Kafka Bryn! It was Aziza! Ben behave! Lydia is not impressed by the Newton office plot "There was a lot of plot in that ball." Yeah I thought they refused to get into Zolf's backstory, but nothing compared to how thoroughly they eliminated that plot hook (and my brief fantasy of Mr. Ceiling Jr joining the party) Helen is the best Weird is one word for it Ben can't even get the name out for complaining about Carter Bryn quit being fair, Grizzop nearly broke the party because he couldn't listen for 5 minutes before assuming it was your idea AND that you wanted to let Salah Jr off scot-free. Azu mostly followed his lead, and Sasha was mid Barret breakdown. Apophis was great Thank you Ben, hitting Wilde in the nuts was the only thing other than the Heart worth mentioning Alex letting us see behind the curtain How did Bryn not only remember but pronounce that in one take? The near riot in Damascus deserves more time, if only for them trying to fix the economy while Alex comes up with way after way to say "the water went missing, follow the water" Ben sounds so pleased with himself for shooting Wellington Jr a bunch Lydia is really under selling how great her interactions with Barret were, but I can see where she might not want to get into it without context. "They ran away which was very rude" Bryn concerning the Squizards fleeing in Rome Oh good it wasn't just me, no one likes Eldarian Lydia is not amused about her beautiful attack being turned on her and her dagger Alex quit encouraging Azu to blame herself Lydia goes to better parties than the rest of us Hey discord shout out! "there is a lot more sadness in the real time also puns"