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haine-kleine · 3 months ago

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as someone who has been playing mysme since the release and developed a hyperfixation as soon as i first laid eyes on the edgy mysterious twink, i just want to say how annoying i find the soft retcon of Saeran's redesign.

the deal with his eye colour and hair colour has never been explained throughout the 9 years of the game's existence so the fandom developed their own crazy theories about the elixir genetically changing his appearance, which i was sure was fanon bullshit up until the Ray After Ending release.

and you know what, okay, him still looking like Ray/Unknown/Evil!Saeran in the AE might be chalked down to very little time passing since he was rescued from the cult. what i find more annoying is the new official arts consistently depicting him with the white hair in what is clearly intended as post-canon content. do they really think we won't be able to tell the twins apart if they both had red hair???

just look at the 707 AE Saeran. what a beautiful little tomato. the red hair is such a clear and natural sign of him accepting both himself and Saeyoung and healing from the years of brainwashing and hatred.

does the red colour clash with his pale skin? maybe, a little. but should you really pick aesthetics over essence when you are writing a story about IDENTICAL TWINS? a story where you have already defined the white haired, ghostly look as an unhealthy state of the character whose happy ending is about accepting his past and reuniting with his twin brother, whom he had been brainwashed to hate by the designated Evil Manipulating Story Villain?

in the originally released After Story for Saeran, following 707's route good ending, he looks like a washed out, unhealthily pale copy of Saeyoung. he is meant to look a little off-putting, because that's the literal visual depiction of his physical and mental state, which was amazing writing!

this is the healthy, default state of both characters, because they are identical twins. it was their separation that had started the tragic backstory for both Saeran and 707. on top of lying to the boys and forcibly separating them for no real reason other than Evulz™, Rika had altered Saeran's physical appearance, erasing all physical likeness to Saeyoung that she could. it doesn't really matter whether she had convinced Saeran that it would be safer for him to look different, if she had asked him to dye his hair and start wearing colored contacts or if she had painstakingly developed a chemical formula that would permanently change his eye and hair colour, as ridiculous as that particular theory is, the point is that looking the way Unknown does would certainly be associated by Saeran as a very dark place in his life. that would be the time when he had less agency over himself than he ever did, and we are talking about a person who was often physically restricted, starved and deprived of water by their primary caretaker since they were a child. other than MC in the Ray route, Saeyoung would be the only person who had ever cared about him since he was born, and Rika manipulating him into despising his brother, from Saeran's point of view after he learns the truth and has the time and safe space to self-reflect would be especially cruel. Saeran is naturally a very affectionate and loyal to a fault person, who is extremely insecure and believes he doesn't have anything else to offer to the person he cares about other than his loyalty.

for this reason, i firmly believe that whatever is the actual reason behind his hair and eye colour, Saeran absolutely would dye his hair red if anything just to show Saeyoung physical evidence of his forgiveness. my headcanon is that even if his hair does keep naturally growing out white, he would dye it for the rest of his life, so that his past as Rika's brainwashed lapdog can be left behind him, instead of buried in the nearest mirror.

for his eye colour situation, i still don't believe the colour was permanently changed, unless Rika was fucked up enough to make him go through a surgery treatment for that, but this is an angsty scenario for another day. my interpretation is that both twins have horrible eyesight from staring into phone and computer screens for 75% of their waking time, but unlike Saeyoung who had bitten the bullet and accepted he is blind without having glasses on, Saeran had started wearing colored contacts with prescription. considering this change had happened while under Rika's care, it's pretty obvious she would be the one to buy him the contacts, so the 'mint eye' fits the whole idea. this leaves several new points for interpretation though. first, Rika is the one who taught both twins to hack, so i am choosing to believe miss girl also has terrible eyesight but wears eye contacts because she is obsessed with always looking her absolute best and avoids touching glasses for this reason. Saeyoung's glasses being a fashion statement (as goofy as they may be) aside, knowing how awful Saeran was at taking care of himself while living in the cult, i am absolutely sure the 'damn bitch you live like this?' boy may have kept forgetting to take his contacts out before sleep but would keep pushing against the irritation and eye tiredness, because it would never occur to him to just. buy a pair of glasses.

which is how we end up with this scenario.

knowing the Choi twins' particular brand of soap opera drama, the whole thing would boil down to a misunderstanding. Saeran, who had never been taught actual self-care skills because all of his caretakers were either intent on murdering him, never learned these skills themselves, or some combination of both, would just keep wearing his old colored contacts even past the expiration date, because there is no Rika to order him a new pair and because it never occurs to him that his bad eyesight can be helped with clear contacts or a pair of glasses. Saeyoung, who is still a dedicated expert at self-loathing, would interpret Saeran's continued use of the mint colored contacts as yet another way to show him how much he hates him, refusing to share an eye colour with his twin unless he is asleep. the misunderstanding would continue on and on without either mentioning anything until Saeran's eyes are going red and he can't blink without crying so Saeyoung rushes him to an ophthalmologist and then MC bonks both of them over the head for their shared refusal to mention anything.

on a less related note but since i am writing a whole essay bitching about character design, let me once again mention Ray's route redesign. what was even the reason oh my god. he was already perfectly fine as Unknown. he is still Saeyoung's identical twin, why give him the huge moe anime girl eyes? i see the dedication to woobifying him as much as possible, but he was already Mr Woobie Worldwide as kid!Saeran, like??

look at this absolute ray of sunshine (ha). i promise we won't care for him any less if his eyes aren't twice are huge as his tsundere twin brother.

look at these pictures and tell me they didn't give my poor man a whole cosmetic surgery while preparing him for the Ray route. the game was never famous for their consistent art style, but at the very least, looking at the old art, you could tell the two characters were clearly intended as identical twins, when put side by side. from the Ray route onwards, Saeran is consistently depicted as Saeyoung's uwu bug eyed cutie little bwother :3

the one thing i do like about the chronological progression of his character design is the pipeline from Ray/Evil!Saeran to Unknown. since more time has passed in the main route, there are telling signs that Rika is not as controlling of Saeran as she was two years ago. this is starkly highlighted by her abandoning him/forcing him out of the cult in one of Yoosung's bad endings, but also pretty prominent in his physical appearance. Ray still believed himself to be ugly, but he was putting consistent effort into his appearance, in both identities. his hair is perfectly bleached and brushed, he is wearing those formal attires, even the Saeran identity is running around spreading mayhem in a perfectly tailored and ironed black suit.

two years later, Saeran is going on his infiltration missions in a leather jacket cuntily leaning off his tattooed shoulder (which i am 85% sure was his own idea that Rika wasn't involved in) with studded bracelets and leather chokers. knowing what we know of Rika, it's very hard for me to imagine her approving of this kind of style lmao. his hair is also in a much worse condition, having not seen brush in ages and not even wild in the style Ray route!Saeran's was or Saeyoung's naturally is, slightly longer, visibly damaged. the bleach job is a mess, leaving him with the famous pink tips that Ray was clearly missing.

the one thing i hate however is that in V's after ending, where he supposedly rescues Saeran and miraculously takes such a good care of him that it works better than therapy... his hair is still fucking white. this version of Saeran wanted to reunite with his brother more than any others did, and had more time to himself after being rescued from Mint Eye, and for some reason he or V just kept bleaching his hair? i can hear the choir of 'it's not that deep', but personally? yes, it is that deep. all of the non-Mint Eye endings for Saeran are inherently bound to be about change, and for a sweet uwu twin who is very explicitly transformed by their tragic backstory narrative, in a visual novel game i can't believe we only have two (2) cgs of adult Saeran with his natural hair colour, one of which doesn't even come from the in-game content.

Cheritz please release my boy from the contract forbidding him to change his appearance ever since he got his own route.

In conclusion, red haired!golden eyed!Saeran deserves rights and to be seen more

#like... if they could afford to give Yoosung a haircut and/or his natural hair colour back #to give Jaehee back her long hair #to give us several cgs of Zen with his hair down or even a wig #to give Vi long hair in his route and then a haircut in the AE #TO GIVE SEVEN SEVERAL CROSSDRESSING CGS #why is my poor boy Saeran robbed of his own eye and hair colour #thanks for coming to my ted talk about an otome boy's hair this was very important to my teenage self to put into words #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi

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asterjennifer · 2 years ago

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“Can you draw a cloud next to the spaceship for me, Saeyoung?” Saeran asked mumbled tender as his older brother measured him.

Saeyoung found the tone of voice fitting for the face he's able to look at in peace for once. No tears to be found in these round eyes, neither fear nor sadness. It's not often his little twin stared up in awe.

He hummed then, nodding his head at the small request. “Sure! I can do that.”

The other squeezed his wrist in excitement. They've been able to spend most of the day together since their mother had to leave for an reason unknown. She didn't elaborate on anything, simply told them to stay put if they wanted to see the next day coming.

But like Saeyoung has always been in the soul, he took the opportunity for his brother and himself to get up and do all kinds of things they've only been talking about before. Like eating ice cream outside. Or going for a short, hidden walk around the house. Especially for Saeran was it nice.

His legs hurt at first due to the aching in his bones, that's when you're not used to walking his big brother explained. Taking his fear of stepping forward when holding onto his arm tightly for support. Soon afterwards they managed a round around the house.

The pride in Saeran's eyes in that moment after reaching the door again had been undeniable and ever so gentle. Saeyoung read another book to him as well considering they didn't find the right timing for it since it's an adventure book.

Saeyoung had promised to read it right; implying they needed the freedom to play with the action it contained. Luckily today's the perfect situation to finally open these pages together and read through them. Saeran often giggled and made big eyes whenever Saeyoung empathized sounds or actions with his hands. Like the gunshots.

“Bam! Bam!” His fingers formed a pistol, shooting into the air with an eye pinched close to aim. “They shot like that, grazing the enemy so very skillfully.”

Saeran titled his head at the display in front of him. “Do you like guns? They are scary, don't you think?” He asked obvious.

“Hm… well, they are bad. That's true.” Saeoyung had concluded, sitting back down next to his twin at the ground.

He looked at Saeran for a short while, who waited for an answer. The innocence written all over his features despite the hardships of the days they spend in that hellhole. The pain and suffering never changed his soft heart, Saeyoung thought. Feeling his own heart melt in love albeit regret.

Saeran flinched out of reflex as Saeyoung reached out to stroke over his hair. “It's just to make it exciting, nobody gets hurt I promise.”

The day flew by outside the window and by the time they sat outside for some sky gazing. Sunrays shining down at the rather uncolored earth around them, yet giving it the perfect color to have it appear all warm. They sat beside each other and enjoyed the sun to the fullest, not really talking that much anymore.

They didn't need to; both figured individually. It's the feeling that counted, just like the fact of calmness they're capable of claiming for themselves. The house's often hectical in the most negative ways, not that they could face it very much. They're forced to regardless. Letting these days become so much more brighter in comparison.

An idea popped into Saeyoung's head, then. Anticipating the willingness of his little brother to write their heights at the wall. Sometimes, when their mother wasn't in the condition to catch them doing their own thing, they would do the small actions that brought them immense joy.

Like measuring their heights and see how they've grown over the last time they marked down the results. It's a reminder they both treasured – telling each other they survive and get to become bigger and bigger until the day they finally could escape the house they're trapped in. Living together for the rest of all days.

A dream shared within their hearts since the moment they could think, it's something that connected them. This kind of strength outshone the hatred of their parents; they lived on because they got a goal to reach once the heights were enough.

“You look taller to me now…” Saeran's words caught Saeyoung's attention right away. Looking down at him, he saw the same expression from before.

However, it still felt slightly different. “Do I?” He asked as he raised an eyebrow. The twin continued rubbing his wrist.

Then he shifted his stare to the window. “You always have been taller, but I sometimes forget that you're a lot taller than me.”

The one wearing the black tank tops frowned by these words, unsure what to make of them. He took the pen off the paper as he closed it. “But you have grown a lot, too. Look!”

He pointed the end of the pen to the new line. Saeran took a step away in order to gaze at it before blushing lightly. His lips parted and yet no sound came out of him. For a moment silence dominated the air between the two.

Thus Saeyoung placed his hand to his shoulder. “I think you have a good height, you're not too tall and not too short.”

Both could tell Saeran didn't quite believe the statement. On the contrary, he shook his head almost unnoticeable. “I don't know…”

The sad hint inside that doubt left Saeyoung to swallow a bitter taste. What could he say to make it better? To assure Saeran it's not about how tall or physical strong someone was? That his warm hands and heart were the true definition of strength?

Saeran sighed, closing his eyes while trying to gather himself. He didn't mean to ruin the nice moment. Never was it his intention to make things worse, somehow his emotions always ended up doing the opposite though. No matter how much he struggled to repress them, they're always on his sleeve. Therefore he rubbed his eyes.

“I'm sorry…” The high voice husked. “I mean… I'm glad I grew. And I feel good to have a taller brother, too. It's just…”

His words cut off in the back of his throat, taking in the difference on the wall. It's true and he meant it when saying he's happy that Saeyoung was the taller one of the two. It felt more like safety that way, giving him a place to hide away behind without being seen by the dark things.

On the other hand it's leaving an itchy feeling to his skin. Being the smaller one, the weaker of two made him the easier target for misery. Their mother came a lot more at him because of that. Of course he didn't desire for Saeyoung to be in trouble instead, that's never the case. It's more about the weakness that's glued to his bones ever since he's been born.

He both admired yet worried about Saeyoung always being the stronger one. How should he protect him in return? Could he ever repay him in some way for standing up for him as well? He's uncertain about it.

Saeyoung put the pen aside, the noise bringing Saeran out of his circling thoughts. “We are twins, aren't we?” He said with the familiar confidence.

Saeran stiffed slightly when his brother rested both hands on his shoulders, giving him eyes between certainty and care. “You are me and I am you. We are the other and that doesn't get defined by our height.”

“Are you sure…?” He couldn't help the question, but Saeyoung didn't seem to be mad at it. He just smiled.

“Of course! We share the same strength in here.” He poked the chest of his brother, right there were his heart was beating underneath. Saeran blinked frequently for a few times and relaxed again.

It felt good, knowing he's not beyond saving. That there's a chance for them both when hearing a verbal confirmation that his depressing thoughts weren't the reality of their future and even their present. Saeran reached out without another word, putting both arms around his older brother.

Saeyoung's air left his lunges at first by the sudden pressure, quickly he returned the hug anyway. They stood there, unsure how much time passed while holding onto each other. Neither of them cared as it's been something that calmed both their souls.

“Before mom comes back,” Saeoyung said after letting go. “Do you want to eat cake? I got some earlier from the woman at the church.”

These amber colored eyes glittered with the mentioning of something sweet to eat, Saeyoung was aware how much Saeran loved food that pleased his sweet tooth. The young boy made two fists with his hands, nodding his head hard. “Really? Yeah! I'd love to eat it with you!”

“Then let's get to it now, I'm sure it's going to be even tastier when we eat it together.”

Happy early birthday, Choi Twins 💕

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