#nct dream timestamp

[alicanta77]

[3:35pm]

Donghyuck’s hands lightly held yours, his thumb rubbing your knuckles as he looked down at the movement, hiding the tears in his eyes. He took a shaky breath, and you squeezed your eyes shut. You didn’t want him to speak. If neither of you spoke, the inevitable couldn’t come, you could be fine, he wouldn’t have to leave.

But the inevitable always comes - that’s what makes it so painful. No matter how fast you run, you cannot escape it. 

“Logically I know nothing matters and everything is temporary, but emotionally, I’m crushed by the weight of everything that has ever happened to us, and ever will happen.”

Donghyuck’s words left a large lump in your throat that made you feel as though you couldn’t breathe anymore. Your heart clench, as if some spirit had reached into your chest and grabbed it and was twisting it, trying to wrench it out of it’s place.

“I guess our fairytale had a few plot holes.” You chuckled sadly, as if the pathetic fake laughter that came out of you distracted from the tears that started falling gently down your face, almost caressing your skin as they did so.

“No.” Donghyuck disagreed, shaking his head at you. “Our fairytale was a beautiful story. We just... ran out of ink before we could write the happy ending.”

“You’ll still love me?” You asked. Donghyuck reached his hands up to cup either side of your face.

“I'll love you forever.” Donghyuck said, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours. “That’s the problem”

Your eyes closed as well, relishing the feeling of Donghyuck’s thumb gently stroking your cheek, wiping away the tears that were falling.

You heard him sniff, and squeezed your eyes closer together. You knew he was crying. But you also knew that if you saw him crying you would never be able to walk away. 

This wasn’t supposed to go this way. Management were never supposed to get in the way, his contract wasn’t supposed to ruin the two of you. You were supposed to move in together. Then get your first dog together, a little golden puppy named Aurora. That would go into getting married, having kids, then driving them to sport practices and looking back at your life together and laughing.

But now none of that could happen. And soon you both had to leave this place and not see each other again.

You felt Donghyuck’s hands drop down to your waist and pull you closer. You brought your hands up around his neck and held onto him. His grip around your waist tightened as he hugged you close. He buried his face into your shoulder.

And that’s when Donghyuck broke down.

He cried into you, sobs wracking his body at the reality of having to leave you behind. You finally let yourself give in, whimpering into him as you stroked the back of his head.

He pulled out of the hug, before bring you back in for a kiss. It was the kiss of a lifetime, the kiss to end all kisses. It was the perfect goodbye.

You gently pulled away, opening your eyes to look at each other for the first time in a while. Donghyuck’s eyes were watering still, the light shimmering off them in an almost beautiful way. You thought about the irony of people eyes either shining with excitement or tears. And you remembered the way his eyes sparkled when you said you loved him.

The memories came flooding through your brain, all your time together, and you had to force them to stop or else you knew you would break again.

Then his phone pinged, a signal your time was up.

Donghyuck swallowed, before choking out a question. 

“If I look back, will our eyes meet?”

You nodded, not quite sure yet if you were lying or not. You weren’t sure if you had the strength to see him again and walk away. Or if he would keep walking away after looking back at you.

You couldn’t let him give up everything he’d worked for to be with you. You knew what you had to do.

You gradually stepped away from each other, holding hands until the very last second. But that last second was inevitable, and it tore the two of you apart from your other half, as you both turn to leave the person holding your heart behind. You began to walk, it getting more difficult with every step. The two of you were almost out of each other’s possible sight range.

Donghyuck looked back.

You walked away.

[jenonctcity]

[5:35pm]

Warnings: Angst

 “You don’t mean that…” The words fell from your lips softer than a feather hitting the ground. You couldn’t quite grasp onto the words that had just been said to you. No, not said, screamed. Shaking your head, you squeezed your watery eyes shut, liquid pooling in the waterline enough to make a small barely there tear roll down one of your hot cheeks. The words you just heard bounced around your head as you tried to make sense of them, of the meaning behind them. But you couldn’t quite conjure up an explanation for it. “Donghyuck,” You choked on your words before you could say anything else, opening your eyes and giving the broken man in front of you a sympathetic look. Gulping to try and clear the lump in your throat you continued on, “You can’t mean that.”

“Well I fucking do.” His own voice had lowered in volume, the defeat settling into his system as he looked at you with sad eyes. He wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting from you when he had screamed his confession of his feelings for you. Feelings that he knew he shouldn’t be feeling about his best-friend’s long-term girlfriend. Perhaps you would have given him a big loving smile and ran into his arms elated, claiming your love for him and you would both live happily ever after. But he knew he was stupid for that scenario to even creep into his mind. In a way he didn’t want that to even happen, not when Mark had been banging on about proposing to you for the past month. It had been like Donghyuck’s personal hell, having to listen to all the different ways Mark could think of to pop the big question to you. It made it even worse that he had been expected to help him in finding the perfect way for it to happen.

How you’d even gotten to this confession was a blur. It started with him coming over to drop off tickets for a basketball game, which then led to him stopping for a slice of the cake you’d made the day before, then came the topic of relationships. You’d quizzed him on the crush that you knew he had on someone, a crush that Mark liked to tease him about despite not knowing who the mystery lady was. You’d never have guessed that under the pressure of your questions he would crack and confess his love to you.

“Donghyuck-“You started but he cut you off.

“Don’t. I know.” He said and shook his head, not wanting to hear the rejection from you that he knew was coming. You sighed softly, your stomach filled with butterflies that felt like they were holding tiny daggers as you still tried to make sense of this situation. Had you somehow led him on? Given him the wrong idea? Why did he feel this way about you? Hundreds of questions crossed your mind that you wanted, needed answered for. “Forget about it.” He said snappily, shaking his head as he turned away from you, heading towards the door of the apartment that you shared with your boyfriend.

“Wait!” You called out, rushing to him and grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving.

“(Y/N) please…” His voice sounded like nothing you’d ever heard from the usually chipper man. You’d never heard his voice so filled with raw emotion and hurt before and it made your heart cry.

“Donghyuck, we need to talk about this, you can’t just leave after telling me that you love me and pretend that this never happened.” You said firmly, hoping that if you put your foot down with him then he would give you the answers that you needed. His eyes met yours, the dark irises swimming with guilt, shame, and longing. It had your head pounding and your chest hurting seeing him this way. Whilst he was Marks friend first, he was also yours. You’d spent so much time with him that it was inevitable that you and he would become friends. You just didn’t expect him to develop feelings other than strictly platonic.

“What’s there to talk about? I’m madly in love with my best-friend’s girlfriend and now I’ve made an absolute idiot out of myself by telling her! Just, forget it! Please!” The desperation in is voice was telling you that he was panicking about it all, which was understandable as you knew he thought you’d tell Mark. You had no intention of telling Mark though, not wanting to ruin their friendship over something that you could try and keep under wraps for as long as possible. He pulled his arm out of your grasp, which you hadn’t even realised you were still holding and you sighed to yourself as you watched him practically pull the door off its hinges in his haste to leave.

“Donghyuck!!” You called but it was too late. The door slamming echoed in your ears in the same way that his confession echoed in your head, leaving you with an empty feeling in your chest.

[peachjaem00]

warnings: swearing

[03:00 pm] “Shit, shit, shit, shit!” you say while running, avoiding crashing into other people and apologizing when you fail. You ignore the nasty looks they give you. 

You’re late again. You have always been kind of an unpunctual person—a bad habit that you’ve tried so hard to get rid of—but you always ended up being late despite your best efforts. The majority of your family and friends have accepted it, knowing that you at least make an effort. But not when it comes to your little brother, especially when it is your turn to pick him up from school. 

You get through the school gate and you run until you get to his classroom. 

“I’m here, I’m here!” you say at the door frame. 

Putting your hands on your knees, you try to recover from the run, taking big gasps of air in order to regain your composure and ease your heartbeat. “Oh my god, I think I’m dying.” 

“Good.” You look at your little brother to find him death glaring at you. 

“That’s mean.” Your lungs aren’t burning anymore and you can finally speak without having to take air in between every word. When you finally stand properly, you see that he is not alone. 

“Are you okay?” a handsome guy asks, looking genuinely worried. “Do you want some water?” 

He is wearing a white button up and black formal pants, his sleeves are rolled up and his hair is styled perfectly—he looks like a supermodel. 

“No, thank you, I’m fine.” You give him a smile to reassure him. 

“What happened this time?” your brother asks. 

“My professor didn’t let us leave until we finished the class activity. I’m sorry champ.” 

“I don’t accept your apology.” 

“What?” You let out a laugh in pure disbelief. “Oh c’mon Jiyoung, don’t be like that. I didn’t mean it.” 

You come closer to him and bend down so you can speak to him face to face. “I ran all the way here as soon as I got out of class and you know how much I hate running.” 

“Or any other physical activity,” he says in a mocking tone. You fake indignance, making the little one laugh. You don’t notice it but the guy—who you assume is the teacher—is looking at both of you amused. “Okay fine, but you owe me an ice cream.” 

“Okay, deal.” You show him your hand and he shakes it to seal the deal officially.

 “And something else.”

“What is it?” 

“Mr. Na has to come with us. I think you owe him an ice cream as well.” 

“You’re right, I do.” You stand up and finally look at the guy again. “As a thank you for waiting with him until I arrived.”

“Oh, it’s not necessary. Don’t worry about it.” 

“Please. Let me make it up to you.” You beg him with your eyes without even realizing it, a thing you do that's second nature.

“It would be fun Mr. Na! We can ask for the most expensive ice cream.” Your brother's malicious tone makes him laugh and you glare at Jiyoung. 

“Ha ha, funny.” You say in a sarcastic tone, making your brother laugh harder and you smile. “Let’s go, I know the perfect place.” 

And the three of you start walking. 

Jiyoung gets a little ahead of you on the way, but nothing to worry about. You take this little moment of privacy to talk to the cute guy. 

“I’m y/n, by the way. I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself properly.”

“It’s a pleasure, y/n. I’m Jaemin.” He extends his hand and you take it, shaking it. 

“May I ask you a question?” 

“Sure.”

“Aren’t you kind of young to be a teacher?” 

“I’m actually a student. I’m doing my practices here. I’m Jiyoung’s teacher’s assistant.” 

“Oh I see,” you say, genuinely interested in the topic. “Do you want to be an elementary teacher? Or do you prefer another grade?” 

“I’m not sure yet. I’m doing six months of practice in elementary school and another six months in kindergarten.” 

“You must like little kids a lot.” 

“Yeah, I really do.”

“That’s cute,” you say without thinking. “Oh shit, sorry! That was inappropriate.” 

You feel your cheeks getting warm. 

“It’s okay,” He giggles. “Jiyoung is actually one of my favorite students.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yeah, he is really smart and participates a lot. He has a bright future ahead of him.” 

“Yeah, he’s the star of the family.” you say proudly. 

“You haven’t asked the star of the family how his day went.” Jiyoung says, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout on his lips. 

You laugh at his antics, then whisper an “excuse me” to Jaemin and you go to your brother’s side. 

“I’m sorry, star of the family. How was your day?” 

“Well since you’re really curious…” he starts and then he proceeds to tell you all about it. 

Jaemin admires you from behind. He is an only child and it never bothers him. But seeing you two talk and laugh together, seeing the pure love that radiates from your eyes and Jiyoung’s—for the first time, he wishes he had siblings. 

After that, you finally arrive at the ice cream shop and Jiyoung runs off, making you and Jaemin follow him. You scold your little brother and, after a little bickering session, you finally buy the ice cream. Once you have your cones, you go and sit at a table. Jiyoung makes you sit next to Jaemin since he wants the whole bench for him. 

“Y/n.” Jiyoung says and you give him a nasty look, thinking he is going to continue making fun of you. 

“What?” 

“You have ice cream on your chin.” His tone is mocking and you feel your cheeks warm. 

“Fuck.” You whisper so Jiyoung doesn’t catch you swearing and try to clean yourself up, failing miserably. 

“Here, let me help you.” Jaemin grabs a napkin and wipes your chin. Your cheeks are burning hot now. 

“Thank you.” 

“Uuuu you’re blushing!” Jiyoung mocks you and you death glare at him. 

“Shut up!” 

“You’re so cute,” Jaemin’s smile drops after seeing your surprised face. “Oh no, did I just say that out loud?” You only manage to nod. 

“Ha! Now Mr. Na is blushing!” 

“Hey don’t be rude! He’s your teacher!” Your serious tone makes Jiyoung silent. 

“He’s not actually my teacher.” The little one says in a low tone. 

“Oh my god, you’re unbelievable.” 

You say your goodbyes after finishing your ice cream and go your separate ways. You spend the rest of the day thinking of Jaemin. You couldn’t concentrate and you were caught several times spacing out by your family. Jiyoung makes fun of you, knowing exactly why you were so distracted. 

You wake up tired, needing some more hours to sleep since your brain was keeping you awake, thinking of Na Jaemin. 

“Ugh, fuck it.” You grab a napkin and scribble something before folding it and you go looking for your brother. “Jiyoung!” 

“Yes?” The little one peeks his head and enters the kitchen. 

“I need you to do me a favor, okay?”

“Sure, what is it?” 

“I’m gonna need you to give this to Mr. Na, okay? But don’t read it.”

“Why not?” He asks curiously while receiving the napkin. 

“Because it’s none of your business.”

“Don’t talk to your brother like that.” Your mom’s cold tone shuts you up immediately. “You have to pick up your brother again today. I have a meeting and, for the love of god, be on time.” 

“Yes okay, gladly.” 

“Okay…” She’s weirded out since it is the first time you show enthusiasm. “C’mon Jiyoung, let’s go.” 

“Bye!” He waves you goodbye and he finally leaves. 

Every single one of your classes went slower than usual, painfully slower. 

You can’t wait to go pick Jiyoung up and when your last class ends, you are the first one out the door. You run again even though you aren’t late, you run as fast as you can. 

“Jesus fucking christ, the things I do for a pretty guy.” You think to yourself while you enter Jiyoung’s school gate. Your legs are burning and the air is missing from your lungs. 

You arrive at his classroom and before opening the door, you catch a glimpse of your brother handing Jaemin the napkin. 

“Here, y/n sent it. It got messed up in my backpack but I can tell you what it says. I read it.” By hearing this, you slam the door open. 

“Hey! I told you not to read it!”

“Why? If you like my teacher’s assistant, I think I have the right to know.” He says nonchalantly. 

“What?” You both turn your heads towards Jaemin. 

“Yeah, that’s what the note says.” He gets closer to him and starts reading it while following the words with his finger. “I think you’re really cute and I would love to take you out for some coffee. Send Jiyoung as the messenger of your answer. If you’re gonna reject me, please don’t tell him or else I won’t live in peace.” He looks up from the note to study Jaemin’s face. 

Jiyoung seems like he was going to kill him if he even thought of hurting you. Even though he is your little brother, he feels like he has to protect you the same way you protect him. 

“So what do you say?” Jaemin doesn’t say anything for a while. It may have been seconds but it felt like ages for you. 

After a moment of silence, he comes closer to Jiyoung and he whispers something in his ear. Jiyoung nods then he comes closer to you. He signals you to get lower so you do and he brings you even closer and whispers in your ear. 

“He says he accepts and he wants to know if today is good for you.” You feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. 

“Today is perfect.” You say with the brightest smile. 

“Okay cool, great.” He reciprocates your smile, gets up from his seat and then walks up to you. “Shall we leave Jiyoung home and then go?” 

“Sounds good to me.” You couldn’t stop looking at him. You could swear you had heart eyes for him. 

“Can you bring me a pastry though?” 

“No.” You answer coldly. “You read my note.” 

“Oh c’mon! If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn't even have met Mr. Na! In a way, you owe me.” 

“I’m going to kill you one of these days.” 

“Okay, I think that’s our signal to go,” Jaemin grabs your hand and Jiyoung’s and he drags you both out. “Don’t worry Jiyoung, I’ll get you a pastry.” 

He winks at him and both laugh mischievously. 

“Oh no… That’s not a good sign for me…”

[sixzeroes]

[22:43] you know it’s bad, falling in love with your father’s best friend. you traveled back in time to save your father from his demise, not to fall in love with his best friend’s eighteen-year-old existence. the whole point of regressing to the time when you weren’t even born was for the sake of your mother’s happiness, not yours.

jaemin’s eyes reflect a million stars as he looks at you. he doesn’t know three-fourths of what you know, nor does he understand just how twisted your fates are. your heart feels as if it’ll be wrenched out by the hands of the gods. jaemin has always lingered around your mother after the death of your father, often caring for you when she wasn’t emotionally able to. but as you grew up, he began to visit less, until eventually, he no longer was a part of your life. something about moving to america to start afresh, thanks to a promotion from his workplace.

you once eavesdropped on your mother and jaemin talking about his lack of partners. he’d simply laughed, blaming his first love for stealing his heart and never giving it back.

the gods are so, so cruel in everything they do.

[rnjfy]

[1:09 am]

“are you sure you’re not cold?”

renjun’s concerned voice cuts through the silence of the night—a small cloud bursting past his lips.

your smile seems to calm his nerves, the tight squeeze you give his hand eases the wrinkle between his brows, “i’m fine, ren.”

he nods, pulling your hand into his jacket pocket nonetheless. you had refused his jacket knowing how sensitive your boyfriend was, but that only worried him a little more.

“the moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” his whisper brushes against your ear—it was almost inaudible, but you heard him.

“babe… that’s a street lamp.”

[chenle-dressed-in-black]

m.list

[00:33] You should’ve been asleep hours ago, but what began as a lighthearted watch party with your long distance boyfriend ended with his sudden confession about how he was falling out of love with you, despite his best efforts.

The thoughts that he had gotten used to over a month or so were brand new to you, and they were dumped onto you without warning. You listened, swallowing down the pain you felt, then told him to take a few days to think of what he said and decide what he wanted to do.

When he told you he was going to think over it, you know he was only saying so out of politeness—the harsh truth is that his mind has been made up for weeks and you could tell the moment he dropped the first confession from his lips.

The second your laptop closes, you let the pain risk back up from your stomach and crawl out of you. It hits you deep in your chest as you begin to weep.

With shaking hands, you reach for your phone and dial your best friend’s number. Jeno picks up on the second ring, even though it’s the middle of the night.

“Y/N, why are you up this late?” he says, his voice clear enough for you to know he hasn’t been to sleep yet. “Are you okay?”

You hesitate, not sure what to say or how many words you’ll be able to get out coherently. Your voice is barely a whisper. “Could you . . . come over?”

“If you need me, I’ll be there.” There’s the shuffling sound of movement. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I think my relationship is over.”

He sucks in a breath over the line. “Oh, Y/N, I am so sorry.”

“I really don’t want to be alone.”

“I’m heading there now,” he says. “I’ll let myself in. I remember the code. Hang in there for nine minutes, okay?”

After expressing your thanks, you end the call. The tears are coming down hard now—the force of them causing your whole body to shake. You don’t even hear him come in, but all of a sudden Jeno is there, sitting beside you on your bed and wrapping you in his arms.

“You came.”

“You needed me. Of course I came.” When your cries impossibly pick up, he pulls you closer against his shoulder. One of his hands smooths down your hair. “Shh, I’m here. You aren’t alone. I’m right here. You’re going to be all right. And I’ll be with you every second that you’re not.”

You let out a sad laugh. “What if I need to go to the bathroom, though?”

“Was that a joke you just made?” He pulls back enough to meet your gaze, smiling without his teeth. It’s a sweet smile with enough love to steady your heart, if only for a mere moment in the wake of this storm. “That’s my girl.”

“I still want to be funny even if I’m sad,” you say. “I can’t lose my charm.”

Gently, Jeno brushes a hair back from your wet face. “Do you want to lie down and try to get some sleep?”

“Promise me you’ll stay.”

His eyes move across your face like he’s thinking about something serious, then he kisses your forehead. “Forever. Here, let’s lie down.”

You let him move you under the covers, sighing into him as he puts one arm under your neck and the other over your side, spooning you.

“You’re a great friend.”

“You taught me everything I know,” he says. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ve got a long few days ahead. Good night, Y/N.”

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[7:09 pm]

(cw: parents!au)

Every parent knew what silence meant. Silence meant some huge mess was being made, someone was hiding, being mischievous, general mayhem being had. This was especially true in your home with your daughter and 3 cats. It was never this quiet in your house with the four—five troublemakers in your house. It couldn’t be the main troublemaker because he was sitting right next to you, fully invested in a a reality tv show.

“Jaemin, listen,” You said quietly while you muted the tv.

He looked at you quizzically, “I don’t hear anything… what could she be doing now?”

“It’s not her nap time yet, I have a very bad feeling about this,” you replied nervously.

Your daughter had a sweet face, she was nice and friendly in public. She always waved at strangers with a huge smile on her face. She knew to stay by your side when she wasn’t sitting in a shopping cart. She very rarely threw tantrums, a perfect little angel. People had even told you so.

In the comfort of your home on the other hand, she was hyperactive and loud. She wreaked havoc on the daily. And the cats were either right her side or far, far away from her. There was no in between. When the cats decided she was being too much your daughter would try to climb their scratching posts to reach them or pull on their tails. The poor animals. When they decided to help her the house was loud, something got destroyed, scratched, or simply broken.

The last time the 4 of them had joined forces you needed to buy a new bookshelf for the living room with all new frames for the pictures that filled up some empty spaces on the shelves.

“Rock, paper, scissors to see who goes,” Jaemin offered. You rolled your eyes but complied. Softly hitting your fist against the palm of your hand. One paper and one rock, you lost.

“Wish me luck please, and have your credit card ready to shop. Oh my god, I think I’m gonna be sick,” you muttered, standing from the couch and walking toward your daughter’s room, but not without pouting and sending pleasing looks to your husband.

You tiptoed quietly to her open door and took a peek inside. Oh good, she was playing with her baby dolls. Wait, since when were they covered in fur?

You ran back to the living room whisper yelling, “Honey, you have to come see what your daughter is doing!”

Jaemin tilted his head back and shut his eyes, “why is she only my daughter when she’s being naughty?”

“It’s not even that bad, no new furniture. Just come see!” You tugged on his arm until he was up and quietly sneaking behind you.

You both peeked into the open door and watched as your daughter swaddled up one of the cats, Luke. And he liked it! He was purring and nuzzling into your daughters small and unusually gentle hands. “Ok baby! It’s time for a nap!” She told the cat before placing him in her toy bassinet. The poor doll who it belonged to could be seen face down under her bed.

“And for the other baby, it’s lunch! Time for your bottle,” she told Luna, picking up the cat and holding her like a newborn while holding a toy bottle to the cat’s mouth. And poor Lucy was sitting on a doll bed with a bonnet tied below her chin, but she looked unbothered.

“I think the cats… like it?” Jaemin whispered in confusion.

You looked at him, “weirdly enough, I think they do too.”

You and Jaemin continued to watch the four of them play and interact. They were all calm and playing happily, until, she turned and caught sight of you.

She bounded over to you and jumped into your arms, knocking the wind out of you.

“I’m practicing!” She smiled brightly.

“What are you practicing for, baby?” You asked her, moving some hair out of her face.

“Daddy said he’s going to get me a baby brother! So I have to practice being a good big sister!” She smiled, stating it like it was obvious.

Your fave dropped, looking at Jaemin with a raised eyebrow, “did your dad say that? That’s news to me. What else did he tell you, baby?”

Jaemin’s face dropped and your daughter began spilling all their secrets. How he always bought her candy before ballet, they sometimes snuck some ice cream together after you were asleep, Jaemin put sugar in her cereal, and how he promised her new toys if she didn’t mention anything about a new sibling. “Do I still get my toys daddy?”

“Uh! No! She would not be getting any new toys!”Jaemin yelled in his mind.

“You can ask daddy later, he’s about to be in very big trouble.”

[00127am]

JANUARY 1ST, 00:03AM

hey! uh hey... this might be weird but um happy new year! well, uh that's not the weird part, no the weird part is that um... like... i don't know man. i've recorded this like twenty times already, since uh eleven fifty? i think? i actually wanted to send it before the countdown but um... here we are. yeah i'm not sending this one either. it shouldn't be that hard to confess to the person you like right? not that a phone call is that romantic either but dude... i just can't stop thinking about you. and it's driving me crazy like i can't keep it to myself anymore man. oh shit is that two minutes...oh fuck um no cancel. delete...delete! DELETE DO NOT SEND DO NOT--

JANUARY 1ST, 00:05AM

hey um don't listen to the voicemail you just got from me! i um said some stuff that ... look man i'm a little drunk right now and -- MARK GET OVER HERE -- haechan dude i'm literally on the phone. no it's a voicemail... dude if they picked up i wouldn't be having this conversation with you. stop, dude, come on... no hyuck move--

JANUARY 1ST, 00:10AM

ok um hey, it's me again. uh mark. it's mark. mark lee. i'd appreciate it if you didn't listen to the uh... the two other voicemails i left. i just wanted to call and say um happy new year! you've been on my mind lately and oh... is that weird to say? man that makes me sound like some kind of pervert. uh ignore that then, i mean... i just... can i see you tomorrow? i um... i need to talk to you about something. nothing uh super serious! like don't worry i just... AGAIN? THAT WAS NOT TWO MINUTES I'M NOT DONE YET I--

JANUARY 1ST, 00:12AM

i think i'm in love with you.

🧾 © 00127am 2024

[jammingjaem]

HII !! i love ur texts sm :)) can i request nct dream texts where they’re babysitting your little brother (whos a cleaning baby - like the one in tiktok HAHAH😭)

ᓚᘏᗢ babysitting baby brother who cleans

why this kinda fun to make 😭😭 i hope you enjoyed this!!

[markiemelon]

hiii, can you do something with jaemin? like a college friends to lovers?

breakfast

genre. fluff, crack 🍞

pairings. jaemin x gn!reader

falling asleep at your friend!jaemin’s place wasn’t your intention.. yet, there you were, knocked out on the couch. you eventually woke up, disoriented and sore, while the smell of burnt toast polluted the air. on the other side of the open room, jaemin stood behind the kitchen counter, preoccupied with scraping char off the bread slices. he perked his head up once he heard you rustling around. “oh. you’re up.”

“what time is it?” you yawned, reaching for your phone, only to find it cold and dead.

“it’s like 10 or something—” his tone was casual, and it threw you off.

“jaemin!” you jumped to your feet. “i had a class at 9!” you continued, “i told you to wake me up if i ever fell asleep here again!” you ran to the bathroom, looking for the toothbrush jaemin got you last time.

his expression became one of shame, like a child being scolded by his mother. “i know, but you just looked so peaceful…”

this isn’t the first time this has happened. more often than not, jaemin invites you to hang out after class.. so you usually find yourself leaving with him to walk to his apartment… you just can’t get enough of him.

once you get there, you hope for a productive afternoon, maybe crank out some assignments. but instead, you end up talking to him all night. you’ll eventually glance at the ungodly hour on the clock, and think, "just 5 more minutes. i'll get going in 5 minutes." 5 minutes turns into 5 hours... and next thing you know, the sun is up, you've slept through all your alarms, and you're grabbing your things to rush out.

“i need to go home-” you pat your hands around the couch, looking for your purse, tossing around the blankets and pillows jaemin put on you while you were asleep.

“wait.” he interjected. “when’s your next class?”

“at 1… but i still have to go home and get dressed...” you sighed, slumping onto the stool at the kitchen island.

“you still have plenty of time to eat breakfast...” jaemin said, nudging over a plate of toast that was grilled to the point of no return.

“jaemin…” you laughed. “im not eating that.” you eyed the dish, and a chill went down your spine. “i’ll just have some cereal.” you helped yourself to his cabinets in a search for a more edible alternative.

sitting across from jaemin at the table, you crunched on your cereal while he picked at his burnt toast… his pride wouldn’t let him throw it out. “so do you wanna come over again later?” he waited for you to chew your food before you replied.

“jaemin, be for real.” you set down your spoon. “i can’t keep coming over on weekdays. i lose track of time and fall asleep.. i can’t keep doing that.”

“why not?” he said, mouth full. “why can’t you fall asleep here?”

“i don’t have my stuff here! no skincare, no clothes…” you counted a finger for each point you listed. “and by the time i wake up, im late, and i still have to go home and get ready...”

“well then.. why not just bring stuff to stay the night.” he cleared his throat. “pack your clothes and skincare and whatever… plus, you already have a toothbrush here.”

“do you want me to stay or something?” you took a sip of juice, eyes peeking over the cup.

“i just like having you around...” he picked at the toast some more, but had yet to actually taste it.

you thought for a moment. “yeah sure.” you shrugged, ignoring the way he just made your heart flutter.

“wait really?” he looked up from his plate.

“i mean… i guess it’s not a problem as long as i bring stuff to stay.” you said, getting up from your seat to go wash your bowl in the sink. jaemin followed right behind you and draped his arms over your shoulders, pulling your back into his chest. “then can you bring stuff to stay longer than 1 night?”

jaemin has always been a pretty affectionate friend, so you didn’t think much of the hug… “maybe i could stay until the weekend..”

“just until the weekend?” he squeezed you a little tighter.

but was he always this clingy?

“na jaemin, when did you get so clingy?”

“well these days, i…” he stopped himself.

“these days, you...?” you hummed, tugging on his arms that were still embracing you, urging for him to finish his sentence. you began swaying side to side ever so slightly. “let’s just stay like this for a minute.” he cooed, catching on to your rhythm, rocking in the silence. he really gave the best hugs. after a moment, he disrupted the stillness of the room. “move in with me.”

hearing him say that so bluntly made your heart drop. flustered, you turned around to face him, his arms now resting on your back. “all of a sudden?” you laughed.

“mm.” he nodded his head to agree, looking at you so endearingly. he gradually inched his face closer to yours, and you didn’t mind.

“jaemin.”

“yeah?” he answered, just inches away.

“are you trying to kiss me right now?” you teased, as your gaze wandered from his eyes to his lips.

“are you gonna let me?” he teased back. you couldn’t hold back your smile, and he basically took that as confirmation.

he didn’t have to lean in much more before his lips were touching yours. your eyes fluttered as his hands gently met your cheeks, even tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“what are we doing?” you whispered in between breaths.

“just enjoy it.” he reassured you.

and for some reason, his words really put you at ease. in that moment, you couldn’t help but enjoy it. you reconnected your lips, and let yourself fall more in love with your best friend than you already were.

his smile forced him out of the kiss. “so does this mean we can have breakfast together every morning?”

you scoffed at his remark. “maybe if you learn how to cook first…”

@lovesuhng thanks so much for the request!!!! such a cute idea. hope you like it!!! (reqs always open)

[swee7dream]

02:13 a.m.

it's dead quiet in donghyuck's room, the only sounds being his game coming out from his headphones and your finger double tapping and sliding up on your phone screen.

"chan," you cut the silence with a sudden stop to your endless scrolling. "what am i saved on your phone as?"

"pookiewookiesnookledoodums."

"..."

"no spaces."

"why are you the way that you are?"

"what?" he frowns down at you in his lap for half a second before continuing his match. "what do you mean?!"

he scrunches his nose to push his glasses up. "what do you have me saved as?"

"chan with a heart emoji and a teddy bear emoji. like a normal person."

"more like a boring person." he scoffs. "how dare you not have me as 'prince snickerdoodle cuddlebug the third'?"

"alright, i think it's time for me to go home," you begin trying to get up, but he pulls his chair further under his desk, effectively trapping you between a desk and a hard place.

"nuh-uh. you're staying here," his lips press a kiss to the top of your head. "all night."

"you can't keep me here."

"i can. and i will. you don't know it but i've got a million booby traps set up around the apartment that will send you straight back here."

"oh?" your eyebrows raise.

"mhm."

"do tell me more, silver ranker."

"only because you asked so nicely, pookiewookiesnookledoodums."

[ronjunnie]

JENO FIC RECOMMENDATIONS

SERIES

arcane

case oasis

ONESHOTS

i suddenly realize my archnemesis is hot (during a battle to the death) (22.5k)

sunshine (21.3k)

shadows in the snow (m) (20k)

ready for love (19.5k)

tongue-tied (17.4k)

summer of love (15.2k)

kitchen frolics (14.8k)

the perks of having a hot best friend (14.3k)

Stepping Into The Moonlight (m) (13.3k)

wicked games (m) (12.8k)

nothing in return (12k)

fight club (m) (11.9k)

pupsick (11.8k) sequel (8.8k)

home (m) (11.6k)

hold fast (11.1k)

summer lovin (9.8k)

midnight moon (9k)

the element of substance (5.2k)

lavender haze (3.4k)

summer heat and summer swims (m) (3.4k)

for real love (3.1k)

searching for sun, water, and attention (2k)

sleepy kisses

get smart (m) (1.8k)

drunken guest and a tail (1.6k)

you wounds wrapped with my love (1.5k)

rainfall

all night long

TIMESTAMPS

1:34

1:37 am

1:48 am

2:03 am

2:54 am

3:00

3:16 pm

3:38 am

6:44 pm

7:02 pm

7:17 am

9:08 am

8:57 pm

10:27 pm

11:27

11:38 pm (m)

12:23

12:40 am

12:51 am

[aesthyuckic]

[11:18pm]

The night was quiet and peaceful. Music played softly in your dimly lit bedroom. Little taps of a phone keyboard could be heard just a few inches down from where you sat on the bed. You looked from your own phone to see Donghyuck looking down and texting someone.

For a moment your mind wondered to the potential of him texting a lover that made you eyes waiver unknowingly. Surely he would’ve told you if that was the case, you were best friends after all. He was probably just texting his other best friend, Mark.

You wanted to be in his heart only like he was in yours so badly. You screamed about it every night into your pillow on the rare occasion he wasn’t there. When he was, you settled on silently screaming while rolling around in anguish on the bed where he slept soundly next to you, blissfully unaware.

You loved staring at him. He was so beautiful with his golden skin and the fluffy brown hair that was growing out nicely. He was slouched against the wall but still his composure was so elegant. His hands that typed away seemed so dainty and effortless as his fingers were adorned with rings. The thought of holding them and feeling that familiar warmth always made your breath hitch in your throat as you felt your heart stop. Your gaze shifted with one of his hands that reached up to move his glasses back up. He wore no makeup due to the time which allowed you to view the moles on his cheeks that cascaded down his neck perfectly. The longer you looked the more things you found to love.

So lost in your own mind, you hadn’t cared about the fact he noticed your eyes and was now looking at you.

“What’s up?” He asked, his head tilted a bit.

That was his way of asking if anything was wrong. There was a familiar flutter in your chest from the simple action. You blinked a few times before sitting up straight against your pillows and shaking your head.

“I was just thinking.” You shrugged.

“About what?” He pondered.

“Your moles.” You answered.

A pout appeared on his lips at the mention. He confided in your once they made him insecure which you could never understand. You never knew how to respond just because you knew you’d end up with a whole essay which would be suspicious.

“You know-“ He started.

“I know.” You confirmed before he could finish his sentence. “I never understood your resentment toward them, Hyuck.”

“Of course not.” He sighed.

“Some people theorize they’re where your twin flame kissed you most in the last life. They’ve always been pretty and maybe that idea can help you change the way you think about them.”

His phone landed in his laps at your words. You could see his eyes look across your own face and body in silence. He moved from his snug spot against the wall on your bed to sit directly across from you. The closeness always startled you despite how regular it was between the both of you. It never failed to get your heart going and your only hope was he didn’t know.

“You have them too.” He leaned in closer as his eyes scanned your face.

He moved the strands of hair out of your face and tucked them behind one ear. You didn’t expect him to get any closer but suddenly he leaned in and left a kiss on your temple.

“Like here.” He pointed out after leaving the unexpected peck.

He reached up to grab your chin and then there was another kiss on your own cheek, not far from your lips.

“And there too.” He hummed.

There had been plenty times where the both of you had kissed each other cheeks. Something felt different now though. You just hope he hadn’t been able to see the blush appear on your cheeks and the felt the heat with the kiss.

Both hands now cupped your cheeks in such a way there was no way to avoid his stare. You could see his gaze move downward before moving back to meet your own once again.

“I’ve never noticed how many little moles you have around your lips.” He smiled. “I guess I kissed you a lot there in the last life… And I’ll do it again in this one.”

Before you could even question him, his plump, soft lips were against your own. The air was taken out of your lungs and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. A sigh escape automatically and you could feel your body relax under his touch. You moved into his body more as his hands moved down your sides to rest on your waist as your hands instinctively went to his neck to pull his closer only to slid down to his rest on his chest as his arms were now wrapped around your waist to pull you flush against him.

You could feel his rapid heartbeat under your palm which had you smiling against his lips.

Oh yes, he would most be definitely keeping his promise to you.

not proodfread. aesthyuckic © 2024. all rights reserved.

[ohmytyong]

mark me in your heart

PAIRING: drug dealer!mark x bartender!reader (female!reader)

GENRE: angst, smut, kinda friends with benefits au, bartender!renjun, best friend!renjun, action au, open-ended narrative

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, explicit description of drug use (don't do drugs kids), use of pet names, trust issues, explicit language, mentions of food, smoking, emotionally unavailable characters, both mark and y/n are kind of assholes, explicit sexual content, angry make-up sex, rough-ish sex, unprotected sex (!always use protection!), heavy make out, choking, lip biting, nipple play, pussy slapping, spitting, oral (both m and f receiving), degradation, praise, spanking, crying, hair pulling, incredibly cringey dirty talking, aftercare (?), not proofread (let me know if i missed any!)

WC: 13k (12,975)

‣[PLAYLIST]: 505 by arctic monkeys, bad omens by 5 seconds of summer, slow down by chase atlantic, why do you only call me when you’re high? by arctic monkeys, a little death by the neighborhood, okay by chase atlantic

SUMMARY: when a sensitive and broken heart meets another one of the same nature, their instinctive reaction is to seek comfort in each other, and in order to heal themselves, they both need to be equally strong and willing to put all their broken pieces back together. but sometimes, some hearts aren’t strong enough to be saved; the only way to save them is if the stronger heart of the two is willing to take the risk and try for the both of them, whatever it takes.

A/N: it's finally here! it took me too long to finish this one but here it is! i know it might seem a bit fast paced or vague in certain parts, but remember this is all about the vibes and i deeply hope that you will enjoy it and give it some love because it definitely needs it <3

read on wattpad / ao3

“Hey Renjun, pass me that glass” you said as you wiped the thick tall glass completely dry before you put it back on the shelf behind you. You were moving mechanically at this point, the exhaustion of the long night at the bar taking over your entire body. It was 5 in the morning and you had just barely managed to kick out some of the remaining drunk nobodies who were so wasted, that their toxic-infused brains couldn’t even give them the signals to move their own bodies.

Working at the bar wasn’t your dream job but it’s not as if you had a better choice. It was either a bartender or a stripper. Both of them sounded equally bad, so you decided to opt for the slightly better one. If you could even say it like that.

It wasn’t a particularly ideal job but it was enough to get you by. It earned you enough money to buy you food and pay the rent at the motel you were staying at, it got you as many free drinks as you needed to help your mind escape from all your worries and you also got to meet some relatively cool people, so that was somewhat good. The working hours weren’t such a big of an issue either, you couldn’t really sleep anyway. So you were fine with it.

Most nights, the bar usually closed at around 3 am. There wasn’t a set rule on this; it usually depended on how many customers there were and how much they were drinking. Your boss had suggested that you shouldn’t keep the bar open all night long, so you kinda decided that it was best to close a few hours after midnight. You weren’t complaining about this though; the sooner it closed, the more time you’d have to get high with your co-worker Renjun at the alleyway behind the bar.

Unfortunately, tonight luck wasn’t on your side, as a group of friends kept on drinking more and more as the hours passed by, which meant that you and Renjun had to keep the bar open until later. You weren’t opposed to this idea, it only meant that you would earn a little bit more money. It was Renjun who started complaining, so he decided to take action into his own hands and practically dragged the drunks out of the bar.

This is how you ended up cleaning up the place this late, rather this early in the morning, with your co-worker. The two of you were too tired to speak, so neither of you made any efforts to spark up a conversation. You both just attended to your respective tasks, waiting for a specific somebody to show up.

Luck surely wasn’t on your side tonight. He would usually show up at around 3:30 am, right after the bar closed, and he would have all the stuff ready, just at the exact moment you needed it. Why was he late today?

It didn’t take a genius to understand that Renjun was clearly affected by the lack of the stuff. He moved around the place nervously, tugging at his hair and stomping his foot rhythmically. He was in a desperate need of it, and you would honestly lie to yourself if you said you didn’t need it half as much as Renjun did.

You put the last clean glass on the shelf behind you and went over to the storage room to grab a broom, so that you could clean the floor a bit while Renjun was still wiping the bar counters. As soon as you closed the door of the storage room, the little bell that hung above the bar’s front door rang with a tinkle and soon after it followed the sound of the so familiar footsteps you were waiting for all night.

“Hey kids, Santa’s here,” his voice resonated in the empty room as he waved a small transparent plastic bag that looked white because of its content. Renjun threw the handkerchief he was holding to the other side of the counter and dramatically jumped over it to go and hug the male who just entered. All of that just at the sight of the clear plastic bag with the snowy content.

“Mark, what took you so long my guy, I’m literally a dead man walking! Give this beauty to me,” Renjun exclaimed and snatched the plastic bag straight out of Mark’s hand. Mark smirked at what Renjun said and immediately started grinning at the sight of the boy’s eagerness.

Renjun went to sit on the bar stool closer to him and placed the bag on top of the counter he had just wiped clean. With slender fingers, he opened the plastic bag and dredged some of the content on the counter. With nervousness in his movements, he set the bag aside and shuffled through his back pocket to find his ID card. He started scattering the white dust all over the counter before he gathered all of it in a straight line with the help of his ID card. When he was satisfied with the result, he put his ID card back into his pocket, lowered his head to the level that his nose touched the cold surface of the counter, took a deep breath and snorted the entire line of crack, the product going straight up into his nostrils.

Renjun blinked several times before he slowly lifted his head. He scrunched his nose and wiped it with the back of his hand, his drowsy eyes looking surprisingly bright considering his state. “Man, whoever hasn’t done crack, never, they haven’t known the beauty of life yet” he chuckled. Mark smirked at Renjun’s comment and you couldn’t help but shake your head amusingly, a small smile creeping up at your face.

Renjun took the plastic bag with the rest of the cocaine and put it in his pocket. “This baby’s for me, thank you,” he amused and turned his heel towards the storage room. “Don’t come look for me, I’ll be right here. If I take too long to come out, then you should be concerned,” he said and closed the storage room door behind him; a scene that was surprisingly quite familiar to you.

You then set the broom down and walked towards Mark. “Hey” you whispered and Mark greeted you back in a low husky voice. “What took you so long? We were expecting you to come earlier” you asked him.

Mark shrugged and leaned his elbow against the counter. “I came by at our usual meeting hour and saw that you guys were still open. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing me so I decided to drop by later,” he said and you nodded in understanding.

“You do have more of those plastic bags on you, don’t you?” you asked him and he chuckled. “Of course I do, pretty. Let’s go outside and treat ourselves a bit, shall we?” he suggested and you nodded again, walking beside him towards the alleyway behind the bar.

The sky was painted in a deep hue of light blue, the moon and the stars still visible in the early morning sky, the sun barely seen in the horizon. You huffed in a sharp breath and put both your hands inside the pockets of your jeans as a reaction to the crispy air of the early morning, as you leaned your back on the damp wall behind you. Mark followed right after you and did the same. He shuffled into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a clear plastic bag full of crack, two crack pipes and a lighter. With almost automatic motions, he filled the pipes with crack and lit them up. He handed you one of them and kept one for himself.

You looked at the crack pipe as if it were an oasis in the middle of an infinite desert and you were so thirsty that your dried up mouth and throat were already relieved just by the sight of it. It only took you one second to react to the visual stimuli in front of you, quickly removing your right hand from your pocket and pulling the pipe straight from Mark’s hand. You brought the pipe to your lips, closed your eyes and took a long, slow drag. This was exactly what you needed.

You immediately felt your body relax and your mind clearing up. The moment you took the drag in, all your worries and problems completely vanished, even if it were only temporary. It was your brief sweet escape from the huge bitter world you were forced to live in.

A chilly breeze flew and you lifted your shoulders at the shivering sensation. Mark noticed immediately and he pulled you closer to him, removed one of the sleeves of his jacket and draped it over your shoulder, slinging his arm over it too.

"So," Mark spoke up, breaking the easing silence, "how was work today?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Eh, like usual. Bunch of random people came in to drink their problems away and give us their money in exchange for adulterated alcohol. But Renjun had to drag some of them out of the bar, he literally grabbed them by their collar and feet and dragged them out of the store, you should have seen it. It was way too funny" you said and chuckled at the memory of the incident that happened a couple hours ago.

Mark giggled at your statement. "Damn," he dragged out the word, "too bad I missed that" he said and brought the crack pipe to his lips and squinted his eyes in pleasure and relief when he inhaled the poisonous content.

The next few minutes remained silent. There was only the sound of cars passing by being heard in the distance, it was probably people going to their early shifts at work. Normal types of work. Unlike the one you had, unlike the fate you brought upon yourself. That’s when the realization of your situation hit you like a truck. How could your family cut you off so easily when they found out that your dreams were different from what they were expecting of you? Were you just a tool for them? Another burden to take care of?

"You seem unhappy" Mark broke the silence. He was looking straight ahead in the distance, his eyes focusing on nothing in particular, probably because he was a bit too high to notice anything.

"Because I am" you responded to his comment, turning your head to look at him, searching for a sense of home into his soulless eyes.

Mark smirked and turned his attention to his heels. "You know, I wanna help. Right? You know that" he said with a raspy voice due to his sleeplessness. "But I don't think that feeding you drugs is any help" he now turned his head to look you in the eyes.

You pressed your lips into a thin line before you spoke. "I ask for the drugs Mark, you're not feeding me anything. It's my only escape, what else am I supposed to do?"

"I love you, Y/n" Mark said.

You winced at his confession and turned your head to avoid his gaze and fixating yours on the wide sky ahead of you.

"You're high, Mark. Cut the crap" you said in a bitter tone.

"Do you think I'm lying? I mean it, Y/n. I fucking love you, for whatever reason I do. And I care about you, so come with me and let's get out of this shitty town. I’m running out of time too, they’ll soon find where I live" Mark defended himself.

You turned again to meet his eyes. "And go where, Mark? Where the fuck should we go, huh? I don't have anything else to do other than this shitty job. I only keep it because I need the money to survive and it's the only way to keep myself sane. The people I used to call family kicked me out of my house and this was the easiest solution I could come up with before I would collapse entirely and before it would become too difficult to get back on my own feet. So what else is left for me to do?" you were clearly getting angrier now, but not at Mark. At yourself.

Mark's eyes darkened in sadness. "That's what I'm saying! You deserve better than this! Look, we have enough money. I do deals, but I know this is a job I can't have forever. I told you, I’m on thin ice. If I’m seen doing deals again, I’ll go to jail. You know I play the guitar, right? I can join a band or something. I know a friend downtown, he might be of help" he said.

"And you," he continued, "you're a great bartender. You could make a career out of it" he said.

You shut your eyelids and shook your head in denial. "It won't work out. I'm a mess, you're a mess. We can't make this work. It's impossible" you said, turning your head away.

Mark sat up straight and put his hand below your chin to turn your attention towards him. "Look at me, Y/n. We can make it work. Believe me. Trust me. I can't leave you living like this. And I certainly can't live a life like this myself. You're the only person I can make a change with. I need you" he said.

You gulped and stared right into his eyes, unable to form a response. "So you just need me as a means to get you out of town and help you start your magical new life. No thanks, Mark, I'll pass" you said and shoved his hand away to release his grip on you.

Mark became frustrated and moved to stand right in front of you. The half of his jacket that was wrapped around your shoulders dropped and it hung behind his back.

"Okay, look Y/n, you're tired and you're high. We'll have this conversation again in the morning" Mark said defeated.

Your energy was running low despite the boost of energy you had just inhaled, so you let yourself loose. "Let's get you back to your room. You need some rest. Come on, I'll drop you off" Mark suggested and you gave in to him completely.

You took a step towards him and stumbled a bit. Mark, with his rapid reflexes, caught you firmly by the forearm and guided you to his car. The last thing you remembered was the faint sound of the car door closing, before you were engulfed into pretty sleep.

The next day you woke up to the sound of light guitar strumming from across the dim lit motel room. It was already past noon; the curtains were still drawn closed but the midday sun rays found their way in between the curtain folds and peaked through the dirty motel room windows to light up the inside of the place.

Mark was sitting on a wooden chair across the bed with a concentrated look on his face. With his jaw clenched and his cheekbones popping, he strum his fingers through the guitar strings, playing random chords in an attempt to create a melody he liked.

You shuffled between the bedsheets and stretched your body all over the old bed. A squeaky sound echoed in the room due to your sudden movement, which caught Mark’s attention. His strumming stopped abruptly and his head jolted up in surprise, his eyes opened wide and his lips dropped to a pout.

“Did I wake you up? Shit, I’m sorry” he whispered, trying to be as quiet as possible.

You rubbed your eyes to clear your vision and looked at him. “No, you didn’t. I like what you’re playing. Sounds pretty” you reassured him. “Good morning, Mark”

His previously guilty expression was taken over by a wide grin appearing on his face, which turned into a bright smile. “Good morning, pretty,” he said.

You smiled at him and he went back on strumming random chords on his guitar. His eyebrows scrunched in concentration and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of his messy hair and wrinkly t-shirt due to the, apparently, good quality sleep he just had. Your obsessive thoughts took over once again and didn’t let you enjoy this glimpse of happiness in the abyss of misery you were engulfed in. Your lips gradually dropped to a frown and your vision became blurry again.

Mark wasn’t perfect, but neither were you. He came into your life at the perfect moment, when you needed him the most. It was your first day at the bar, your first time as a bartender. Renjun had been training you all day, teaching you the basic parts of the job and giving you tips on how to handle weird or creepy customers. You were completely drained out that day, so your co-worker and soon-to-be best friend had promised you a pleasant surprise by the end of your shift.

Renjun’s definition of a “pleasant surprise” was slightly different from yours. That night, Mark walked into the empty bar with steps full of confidence. You didn’t know him back then, but from the very first second you saw his figure enter your life, there was only one word that kept circulating your mind; trouble.

Mark was trouble. With his sharp gaze and well-defined features, captivating aura and assertive moves, it was more than obvious that this guy would mean nothing but trouble to you. For some inexplicable reason, this was exactly why you were instantly attracted to him.

Mark came in carrying all the usual stuff Renjun wanted and gave them over to him without talking much. The two guys seemed to share a lot of past memories together, and you were right. Renjun had filled you in later that night on his relationship with Mark and how they helped each other stand back up on their own feet after they were forced to leave home. A story very familiar to you.

Mark came by the bar every single night. He didn’t give Renjun drugs every time, but he sure enjoyed both your and Renjun’s company. It’s not as if he had anywhere else to go.

That’s how you grew quite fond of him very easily. You found yourself looking forward to the end of your shift just so you could see him. He once offered you drugs but immediately took back his offer when he saw your shocked expression. You were at the lowest point in your life and doing drugs wouldn’t be the wisest habit to take up, even though this was, at the same time, the exact reason why you should do drugs. Eventually, reality hit you and you caved in, waiting for Mark to come at the end of your shift for one more reason other than just seeing him. He was reluctant at first. Mark didn’t want to drag you into this lifestyle, so you annoyed him and begged for it until he finally gave you the lethal medicine.

You and Mark were surprisingly very similar. Maybe that’s why you bonded so fast with each other. And maybe that’s exactly why you were equally bad for each other. You could see so much of yourself in him, just at a more put-together version. Sure, he was a drug dealer, which was certainly not a better job than yours, but he at least seemed to have a purpose in his life. Unlike you.

As time passed, you started spending more and more time with him. You would smoke crack, get high, talk endlessly until your mouths dried up, go back to your motel room, have sex with each other, and repeat. You found comfort in his presence and became attached to him without even noticing.

But you didn’t love him. No, you couldn’t call this love. Rather, you were depending on him, no matter how much you hated that. He acted as an emotional support beacon to you, you enjoyed his company and, if you were honest, you genuinely liked him. But it was hard for you to admit to any deeper feelings, so you repeatedly tried to convince yourself that you didn’t love him, so that it wouldn’t hurt as much if he ever decided to switch on you. You hoped it wouldn’t turn out like that.

You lightly shook your head to get rid of all these thoughts and got out of bed to wash up a bit. “I’m starving, I’ll go down to the diner to grab some breakfast, do you want anything?” you asked Mark as you were heading towards the humid bathroom.

“Let’s go eat there. Together” Mark suggested and you stopped at your steps.

He always avoided going out in places that were too public because he was at risk of being outed as a dealer. Especially now that he was caught selling drugs once and the guy who saw him threatened to report Mark to the police.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re on thin ice, you said that yourself” you raised the tone of your voice and walked towards him. 

Mark put down his guitar to focus on you. “You worry too much Y/n, like, what are the odds? We’re in the middle of nowhere, I doubt anyone knows this place apart from us and the customers of your bar. I think we’ll be fine,” he cleared his throat, “I mean, I’ll be fine. Relax, I wanna spend some time with you.”

You decided against protesting and trusted Mark’s certainty of his words. Besides, he was right. The diner was out of town, it wasn’t very popular among people who weren’t familiar with the bar. Most customers at the diner were either drunk people from the bar or passersby. So you simply just nodded and whispered a soft “okay” before you went inside the bathroom, the door emitting a creaking sound as you closed it shut behind you.

The screeching sound of the fork scratching the surface of the porcelain plate turned your facial expression into a wince, which went completely unnoticed by Mark whose attention was entirely devoted to the pancakes in front of him.

The old diner was relatively empty despite it being lunch time. Other than you and Mark, there was only a group of friends and a guy sitting on a barstool. You were actually very satisfied with the quietness of the place, which was only disrupted by sounds of forks scraping plates and glasses thudding on the tables.

The diner was situated right down the same road your motel was at, so anytime your stomach growled in annoyance you would stop by and fulfill its needs. You were practically a regular customer now and probably the one who kept the place from going bankrupt. It was old, cheap and dirty; the perfect place for you.

Mark gulped down the last bite of his pancakes and thirstily drank the entire glass of water. He then set the glass down and leaned back on the booth, fixating his gaze on you.

You noticed his eager eyes on you and you set down your fork, mimicking his stance and staring right back at him, waiting for him to speak.

"That was a pretty good meal" Mark sighed and you smiled a bit. This wasn't what he wanted to say.

Since Mark seemed to be unwilling to speak his mind, you decided to take matters into your own hands instead.

"Why did you want to have lunch with me?" you asked him with your voice calm and your eyes searching for an answer in his.

Mark crossed his arms and scrunched up his nose before he answered your question. "’Cause I wanted to spend time with you. Actual time. You know, like normal people?" he said.

You rolled your eyes at his response and mimicked his body language once again, crossing your arms over your chest. "I don't buy it, Mark" you said.

Mark sat up straight and leaned closer to the table, resting his elbows on top of it. "Why are you always like this, Y/n? Whenever I tell you something, you never believe me! What's up with you?" Mark's frustration started building up in his attempt to defend himself.

"It's not that I don't believe you-"

"It's that you don't trust me" Mark interrupted you and you stood there with your mouth still open. You didn't know what to say.

Mark's gaze was piercing, his sharp eyes were darker than usual and his lips quivered at the blank stare you were giving him. "You don't trust me," he concluded.

The truth is that you weren't sure if you trusted him or not. You wanted to trust him and he had proved to you numerous times that he was someone who cared and didn't lie. Yet sometimes, you were afraid that if you trusted him too much, he would end up hurting you. So every time he said something you weren't expecting him to say, you immediately assumed that he was lying.

"Mark, listen to me," you started to say and Mark sat back against the booth, rolling his eyes. "I-I do trust you, it's just that-"

"What? You think I don't mean what I say? If I didn't meant what I fucking said then I wouldn't fucking say it! When I say I care about you, Y/n, I fucking mean it. When I say I fucking love y-"

"Don't get mad" you were the one that interrupted him now. Mark was clearly way too frustrated by you now, his voice was getting gradually louder, his eyes were full of fire and his nostrils were fuming.

At the sudden raise of Mark’s voice, the guy who was sitting at the barstool turned to look at your booth with a brief glance and then returned back to eating his food.

"Mark, just let it go, please" your voice came out almost like a whisper. You hated when Mark became angry at you and you hated it even more when he did it in public, even though it was practically just you and him in that diner.

Mark's jaw visibly relaxed and he lowered his eyes to his lap, nodding to himself. He lifted his head to look back at you with pleading eyes, much in contrast with his previous fiery gaze.

"Then why don't you come with me? Out of this fucking town? You deserve to live a better life than this. We deserve it. Look, I know I don't have an exact plan on how we'll do it, but I know that we can figure it out together. Please, Y/n" he said, taking your hand in his from across the table, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

You lowered your eyes at the spot your hands were joined together. Did you really love Mark? No, actually, did you really trust him enough to depend your entire life on him?

You couldn't give him an answer at that moment. Not a yes, not a no. Not even I don't know. Forget that, it would complicate things even more.

Mark noticed that you weren't going to give him an answer to his question soon, so he let go of your hand and started putting on his jacket. He reached into the inside pocket and took out some cash. He slammed it on the table and got up from the booth ready to leave.

"I have to go to work now, alright? I've arranged some deals. I'll come back later at the bar tonight. If you ever decide what you want to do with me, you know where to find me" he said and without even turning to look at him, you heard the sound of his footsteps grow fainter as he walked out the diner.

The bar was relatively full tonight. From behind the counter, you could spot only two empty tables. That was the fullest the bar has been in the last month. At the far back of the bar, you spotted Renjun already counting the tips he had earned and it was still midnight.

All the customers were busy chatting and enjoying their drinks. You found yourself craving some alcohol too, the need for an intoxicant substance was growing stronger and stronger, so you decided to mix just a little bit of something to treat yourself.

As you were filling in your glass, Renjun walked behind the counter and leaned close to your ear to speak, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hear him through the loud chatting of the customers. “Man, I think we are in heaven, I lost count of my tips and I’m not even high yet” he said and you giggled at him.

He noticed the bottle of vodka you were holding and nudged you on your forearm. “Hey, pour me some of that too” he asked and your response was to grab a glass from the shelf behind the counter and fill it with the toxic liquid.

You had barely stopped filling in the glass when Renjun grabbed it and downed the liquid in an instant. He placed the glass on top of the counter with a thud and licked his lips, savoring the bitter taste. “What’s up with you and Mark?” Renjun asked you. You contemplated whether you should answer him or pretend you didn’t hear him just to buy you some time. A good couple of seconds passed so you just caved in and answered him.

“I don’t know. Go and ask him.” you said in a tone filled with nonchalance, sipping on your drink.

Renjun rested his elbows on the counter, his eyes scanning the place around him. “He said the exact same fucking thing when I asked him about you. You can’t be running in a vicious circle all the time. Just fuck it out, you’re both acting like little kids” he said and you sighed at his scolding tone.

Renjun wasn’t just your co-worker, he had also grown to become your best friend, a person you could talk to freely without fear of judgment because he always understood your intentions. Engulfed in your misery and loneliness, he was the person who helped you get back on your feet and have hope that things will somehow get slightly better. That sounds like something a friend would do.

You brought the glass to your lips to drink the last sip of vodka that was still inside, leaving it empty waiting to be filled with more of that toxic liquid. “You wanna know what, Renjun? Even though I hate the life I’ve made for myself, I enjoy having Mark in it. But I can’t do what he asks me to do. I can’t depend my entire life on him. I can count on him for some of it, yes, but starting anew with him? I don’t know. I really don’t. I’m not the kind of person you want to start a life with. I will fuck everything up. And he shouldn’t count on me as much as he does. It’s for the better. For both of us.”

Renjun kept staring at you, waiting for your little rant to be over so that he could take his turn to speak. He gulped and looked at your burnt out figure. Your eyeballs were turning a bit crimson due to the line of cocaine you snorted earlier, even though you promised you’d wait until Mark came later, and the lack of sleep provided you with dark hues under your eyes and skin as pale as the moon. 

“Look, Y/n,” Renjun started and came a bit closer to you so that he wouldn’t have to strain his vocal chords in order to be heard, “I see your point. And I understand exactly what you mean because I felt the same way when I came here. But in my case, I had nobody to lean on. I became an addict, left home and the rest of the story is familiar to you. But you and Mark have each other and, trust me, your future is looking way brighter than mine.”

You looked into his eyes searching for honesty. Renjun has always been honest with you and you never doubted any of his words. He really cared about you. Mark too, as it seemed. And he was right. Living in a cheap motel, starving and working long hours to barely make ends meet, depending on drugs and more specifically on an exceptionally lovely drug dealer wasn’t the life you imagined to have. But fate had different plans for you and now you ended up here, whatever this here is supposed to be.

Mark didn’t seem to be ill-intentioned. From the very first moment you met him, he was protective and caring, he had always treated you nice. He spoke to you softly and touched you in a just as smooth way. But the life he was living wasn’t that much better than yours; in fact, you could say it was even worse. He depended on you as much as you depended on him.

You didn’t know what was the thing that made you keep a sort of distance from him. Emotional distance. Part of it might be because you weren’t available to be fully devoted to him, because of fear that one day he would leave you, just like everyone else did. Part of it might be because the two of you weren’t so different and two broken souls mending together doesn’t necessarily make a fully healed one.

“I’ll talk to him when I’m ready. I could do it later but I’m afraid I’ll be too high to think rationally. Or maybe this will give me more insight, I don’t know, I’ve never thought of it. Do you think clearer when you’re high?” you asked Renjun but he was preoccupied, looking at the screen of his phone which radiated such brightness his eyes squinted as a reflex.

Scanning his features more carefully, you realized that the reason for his scrunched expression wasn’t lying solely on the brightness of the screen. You took half a step closer to him and Renjun tilted his phone away from you, hiding the screen from your eyesight.

“What’s wrong, Renjun?” you asked with worry lacing the tone of your voice. Renjun shook his head and put his phone away in his back pocket. “Mark won’t be coming by later. Something came up, I’m afraid we’re in trouble too. Listen, can you handle the bar for a couple hours by yourself? Mark needs some help” Renjun said, searching for his jacket underneath the counter.

Your eyes widened at Renjun’s words and you felt your heartbeat racing and your fingertips trembling. “Is Mark okay? Tell me, is he okay?” your rising voice quivered, betraying the nervousness you felt.

Renjun squeezed your shoulder and pressed his lips together in an attempt of a reassuring smile. “Yes, he is alright. He’s fine. He just needs some help with the cops. If you see anyone suspicious showing up, flash the stashes down the toilet, we don’t want them finding anything. I’ll be back soon.” 

With swift movements, Renjun turned his heel to walk out the bar in a hurry, muttering something under his breath that, due to your shocked and nervous state, you failed to hear, “How am I gonna save your ass this time, Mark?”

As soon as you heard the bell on top of the bar’s front door tinkle, you knew that Renjun was already outside and you were left alone in the bar. You were left standing frozen behind the counter, staring into nothingness. Your vision became blurry due to the tears that threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes, your hands curled into fists and your nails were digging deep into your palms, cold sweat forming at the sides of your forehead.

You were terrified. Mark was already caught selling drugs very recently, so your mind went to the worst case scenario which made you extremely terrified; that Mark was caught selling drugs by the police. 

You dreaded this moment at the exact same time your eyes met Mark’s sharp ones. You knew that, once you became thick as thieves with a drug dealer, you would be in for a lot of trouble. 

But you also knew how careful Mark was and this gave you hope that, whatever the case is right now, he would find a way to get himself out of there. Mark was a smart guy. You wanted to trust him, you wanted to believe that he would be smart enough not to get himself in trouble.

Yet something didn’t add up. Mark has been doing these types of deals for a long time now, he knew all the tricks of the job and he knew very well how to protect himself. So it sounded almost impossible that he would do something so reckless and irresponsible to get him caught. 

There was only one possible and logical answer to all of your questions. That somebody ratted him out.

Your train of thought was disrupted by the husky voice of a man. “Excuse me, miss, would you mind pouring me a drink?”

Your head snapped at the sudden sound of a voice other than the one inside your head. Your eyes met with a man sitting on a barstool at the other side of the counter, looking at you with wary eyes. Your gaze was roaming all over his figure when your eyes halted for a second as soon as they spotted something shiny at the right side of the man’s chest; a badge.

You cleared your throat to cover up the anxiety and fear that started to appear in your voice. “Officer! What can I get you?” you greeted him with bright eyes and a cheerful voice that masked your intense heartbeat and the trembling state of your hands behind the counter.

“Actually, I don’t want a drink,” he started and moved his hand inside his jacket to pull out a file with pictures and papers, “but I do want you to help me with something. Have you ever seen this guy?” he asked you, placing the file on the counter and turning it to your side.

You gulped at the sight in the front of you and your eyes quivered from side to side. A mugshot of the face you grew to almost love was staring back at you. Sharp gaze and popping cheekbones, defined jawline and dark eyes were presented in front of you and you knew more than well enough who the person in the picture was.

Your heart sank at the sight of Mark’s mugshot and you knew what you had to do. You drew in your eyebrows together and lifted the picture with your hand in order to bring it closer to your eyes and examine it better. “I don’t think I recognize this man, officer” you said.

You set the picture down on top of the counter and looked at the police officer, not trying to avoid eye contact. You wanted to seem as less guilty as possible.

The police officer took the picture and put it back inside the file. “Really? That’s a shame. But I’ve been informed that you do know this guy because you were seen with him this morning.”

You froze immediately. Your brain tried to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, you tried to digest and connect everything the cop just said in order to form your answer.

“Are you sure about this, officer? A lot of other girls look like me, maybe it was a mistake?” you asked with a rising intonation in an attempt to defend yourself by adding another lie to your previous one.

You tried to remember where you could be possibly seen with Mark, especially during the day. You always met with him at night and you avoided seeing each other in the morning. There was no way anyone saw you with Mark.

The moment you had this thought, the answer to your question suddenly popped up in your head as if a lit up light bulb. That morning, you and Mark had breakfast down at the diner. And you specifically remember that suspicious guy who kept staring at the two of you.

That’s when you knew you had to do something drastic to get you out of this situation, and you had to do it relatively fast.

The police officer didn’t seem to buy the lie you had just uttered and continued to pressure you more. “Is this where you keep all the drinks? Can I take a look inside your storage room?”

The rhythm of your heartbeat kept increasing more and more by each word the police officer said and you were running out of lies and excuses.

“Sure, it’s this way officer” you said with a nonchalant tone, gesturing towards the door behind the counter. 

The cop stood up and turned his heel to walk behind the counter and towards the storage room door. Your trembling hands had barely managed to hide the stashes you kept behind the cash register under your oversized shirt, and you followed the cop inside the storage room with uncertain steps.

The police officer could not find the rest of the stashes. It shouldn’t happen, and you had to act smart in order to prevent it. “Can I help you with something, officer? We can’t stay in here for too long, my co-worker finished early and we’re not allowed to leave the bar without having anyone to tend to the customers” you said in an attempt to speed up the process and get rid of him before he could find anything that could put you in jail.

“You can go back to your work, miss. This is my job here, you can go and do yours” the cop said as he had already taken a bottle of vodka in his hand to examine it for anything suspicious.

“Okay, I just wanted to help. Call me if you need anything,” your answer was convincing enough for him, but it wasn’t good enough for you to buy you more time.

You left the storage room and stood right outside the door, leaving it so open as to let you peek through it so that you were able to see what the police officer was doing.

With your still trembling fingers, you took out your phone from your pocket and dialed Renjun’s number with quick movements. Without taking your eyes away from the cop, you kept tapping your foot waiting for Renjun to pick up his phone.

The constant beeping sound in your ear signaled that Renjun wasn’t going to respond soon, so you put your phone back in your pocket and tried to think of what to do.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you muttered under your breath, running your fingers through your hair. Your eyes were wavering from the police officer to the customers in the bar and then back to the police officer. You had to do something to get everyone out of there.

Your eyes followed the cop’s figure and certainly didn’t like what you were seeing. The cop squatted down so that he could reach the boxes under the shelves and stretched his arm to pull out one of them.

“No, no, no, fuck” you whispered. Those are the boxes in which you hid the drugs.

You turned your head to look at the inside of the bar. It was fully packed. There was not any chair or barstool that was empty and, just at that moment, the door opened to reveal a group of friends who wanted to get drunk and have fun just like the rest of the people inside the bar.

The only person who wasn’t having any fun right now was you. And obviously Mark and Renjun as well, who you had no idea about their whereabouts or their well-being. On any random night, all these people in the bar would equal a pretty satisfactory amount of tips that would make your life slightly easier to get by. However, you could definitely not say that for this particular night, when your main priority was your and your friends’ safety.

Shifting your gaze from the customers to the police officer and back to your phone for any missed calls or unread messages from either Renjun or Mark, you were completely on your own on this one. Cold sweat engulfed your entire body as the seconds passed and the cop was one step closer to finding the thing that could turn your entire life upside down.

You swallowed thickly and looked at your phone one last time. No sign of anybody.

“Okay, I got this” you muttered to yourself and walked behind the counter where you usually stood. A middle-aged woman was sitting on one of the barstools, smoking and sipping lightly from the cocktail you mixed for her earlier. You picked up the first bottle of alcohol you saw on the counter - you didn’t have the time to care what it was - and walked towards her.

“Excuse me, miss, would you like a refill?” you asked politely to gain her attention. Before she even opened her mouth to speak, your actions were faster than her words. You quickly snatched the cigarette from her hand and put it out on the counter, immediately pouring some alcohol right on that spot.

Soon enough, flames started building up and the counter caught on fire. The smell of smoke became suffocating and it was hard to breathe in such a small space full of people. Your plan worked.

Muttering a string of “sorrys” to the woman, you turned around to pull the fire alarm. Every customer turned their heads to the direction of the piercing sound full of worry. “Everyone must get out, the building is on fire!” you yelled as loudly as you could, motioning everyone out the door.

Very quickly, you managed to evacuate the building by leading all the panicked customers outside the bat through the front door. In the midst of all this chaos, you noticed with the corner of your eye the police officer you rushed out of the storage room without looking any scared at all. 

You ushered the last customers outside as the fire grew bigger, eventually leaving you and the cop as the only ones inside the flaming place. As he passed by you to get out the bar, he leaned closer to your face and whispered. "That was smart, young lady," he said and walked outside towards his car.

So he knew, you thought. He knew all along about the drug deals happening in this place and mainly the drug possession. He almost tricked you into thinking you tricked him. How amateurish of you.

You walked out the bar and shut the door behind you, watching the police officer drive away. A sigh of temporary relief escaped your lips and you pulled out your phone to dial a phone number you weren't particularly happy to call. Waiting for a few seconds, you heard the dreadful voice on the other line. "Hey boss, um, is it easy for you to come down to the bar? We kinda have a small problem" you said with a rapidly beating heart.

The time was already 3:16. You were pacing around your motel room, patiently waiting for any news about Mark. You had already called and texted him multiple times, but all of your efforts to reach him went in vain.

A few minutes after you called your boss, she arrived at the bar, totally shocked and deeply saddened upon seeing her not-so-small business all up in flames. You explained to her what happened, shaping the story so as not to sound guilty, and luckily she didn't blame you for anything.

After the firefighters arrived, your boss encouraged you to go home, saying that you already went through a lot for the night, so you needed to get some rest.

So now you were back to your motel room, unable to get some rest because you were still scared about yourself and your previous interaction with that police officer. But most importantly, you were anxious about Mark.

You were terrified for him. And your fear only increased because you couldn’t do anything to help him or save him. You realized that you depended on him twice as much as he depended on you and that made you feel useless in situations like this. Knowing that Renjun was - probably - with him eased your nerves a bit, but, at the same time, knowing that you didn’t do anything to help him made you feel selfish and hopeless.

Everything you did tonight was to save no one else but yourself. The entire night, you kept worrying about yourself and how you could avoid going to jail when during those very same moments in time you had no idea how Mark was or what he was going through.

Mark wasn’t the helpless one in this situation; it was you.

As you picked up your phone to call Renjun again, a loud thumping noise on the door startled you. Your body jolted up upon hearing the sudden sound and you walked nervously towards the door to look outside through the peephole.

Your eyes widened in shock and surprise at the sight of the face that was constantly on your mind. You didn’t waste any time opening the door and pulling the boy you were aching to see all night long inside the motel room, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

You rested your head in the crook of Mark’s neck and he reacted to your touch in an instant, stretching his arms to the small of your back to hug you as tightly as he physically could.

Tears fell from the corners of your eyes and you pulled back just as much as you needed in order to look into Mark’s exhausted eyes without breaking the embrace. “You can’t imagine how scared I was,” you whispered.

Mark stared deeply into your watery eyes. He moved his hands to cup both of your cheeks and nodded his head when he processed what you just said. “I know, I was terrified too. Renjun came to help me but we kinda fucked it up" he said with a stinging tone in his voice. 

“What happened?” you asked and Mark let go of you and walked towards the bed in the middle of the room, sitting on the edge of it. You copied his movements and sat down right next to him, turning your head to his side as you waited for him to fill you in on what you had missed.

“That bastard ratted me out. That asshole from the diner. I had a deal with some teenagers and he called the cops on me. I don’t even know how he tracked me down.” Mark confessed looking straight, his eyes full of void, focusing on nothing in particular. 

“Anyway, they took me to the police station and started questioning me about all this bullshit. There was no way I could excuse myself, they literally busted me, they saw me doing the deals. I texted Renjun and, I don’t know what he said to them but it didn't go well," he stopped to take a deep breath despite the desert that formed inside his mouth and the waterfalls that were forming in the corners of his eyes, "so we basically ran away and sooner or later the police will find me. I had nowhere else to go and I knew that your place would be relatively safe." Mark finished reciting you the events of the last few hours, tears staining his cheeks like the raindrops of a drizzle.

The dried tears that stained your cheeks became wet again when the new set of them fell down your face. You were staring at Mark through your teary gaze, trying to find any emotion in his void expression. He had never looked so soulless and it terrified you even more.

But the truth is that Mark himself was trying to mask his fear and anxiety by not showing them. The tears that traveled from his bambi eyes down to his popping cheekbones felt empty and the sight of him in such a state brought a stinging pain to your heart.

“So w-what does that mean?” your voice trembled at each word you uttered as you faced Mark with nothing but fear and another emotion that, at that moment, resembled love.

Mark made an attempt to wipe most of the tears off his face with the palms of his hands so that he could face you with clear vision. “It means I might go to jail. I will go to jail, unless I get out of here” he said. “Fuck, those bastards gave me an excuse to leave this fucking place” Mark scoffed as he sat up from the bed and started roaming around the narrow room, hands resting on his waist.

Your eyes trailed on every single one of his moves. You blinked several times to prevent any more tears from falling and cleared your throat to avoid your hoarse trembling voice. “So you’re really leaving” you said quietly, more to yourself than to Mark.

Mark turned around to look at you. “Yeah, I am. First thing in the morning. I don’t have many things to pack so it won’t take me long. And I can help you pack your things too, it will be quicker if-”

“Who said I’m coming with you?” you interrupted Mark and you immediately regretted doing so once you met his fuming gaze, which was now completely taken over by anger but was previously filled with nothing but emptiness.

“Y/n, we agreed to this. You’re coming with me and that’s it.” Mark growled as he took a step closer to you.

You stood up and started walking nervously around the place you called home, running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to ease your nerves. “We never agreed to anything. I told you I can’t-”

“Bullshit, that’s what you told me. Everything you said is bullshit. I want nothing but the best for you, we’ve been meaning to do this for such a long time and now that we have every reason to leave, you don’t want to! What’s wrong with you Y/n?” Mark clapped back at you.

A tear dropped down to your feet as you looked at Mark’s reddening face. Your lips trembled in your attempt to voice out your feelings, unfamiliar to your vulnerable state. “I’m scared, Mark,” you paused to sniff your nose, “I’m so fucking scared. For you, for me, for everything.”

Mark’s features softened at your sudden confession. He remained silent, gesturing to you to move on.

It was hard and unusual for you to open up to him like this. You hated the fact that he made you weak, that he had such a strong effect on you to make you eventually do as he says. But there was always this evil little voice in your head that told you not to trust him because, in the end, he would act just like everyone else and leave you.

“Do you know how scared I was tonight? I almost risked my fucking life for you! I had no idea where you were, I didn’t know what happened or why, and you know why? Because you never tell me anything! You only care about yourself,” all your fears and anxieties exploded and the outburst was so big you didn’t know how to stop. And you couldn’t stop even when you took a glimpse of Mark’s furrowed eyebrows and frowned lips, which you couldn’t tell if they were the result of sadness or anger.

You didn’t want to hurt him. But at this state, you couldn’t remain silent anymore. It wasn’t Mark’s fault, but you had reached a point where you couldn’t bottle up anything you felt anymore, so he just had to take everything you said.

You took a deep breath before you licked your dry lips to speak again in a calmer but still bitter tone. “If only you would disappear from my life I would-”

You never completed your sentence because Mark dashed towards you and grabbed you by the neck, squeezing the sides just so, so you could breathe a little bit, his face only a couple inches away from yours. “Shut the fuck up” Mark spat out with a growl which immediately kept you quiet.

His blackened eyes were piercing right through you, his fully black pupils bore into your wavering ones. You stood frozen there, completely locked in your place under Mark’s forceful hold on you, a position which made your lower stomach twitch.

Neither of you spoke for a few seconds. Mark’s face was painted in crimson, his eyebrows fully drawn in together and his nostrils flaring out, as he tried to keep his breathing steady. His angry state scared you even more; not because he would hurt you, but because he could hurt himself. Behind the mask of the angry man he presented himself as, you were the only one who could see the sad little boy who wanted nothing else from you but to love and trust him.

With Mark’s hand still pressing on your neck, your voice barely came out when you tried to speak. “Mark please, say someth-”

Mark interrupted you once again by smashing his lips on yours with the same force he held you under him and the same desperation he hid behind his bloody gaze. You didn’t waste a second, responding in an instant to him, moving your lips to the pace and rhythm he settled. You slightly parted your lips to allow him access to deepen it even more, as he slid his tongue in your mouth to dance with yours.

His presence and strong grip was too much to endure, so you stretched your arms to grab his hair. Mark sensed your need for more support, so he lessened the pressure on your neck and moved his free arm to the small of your back.

The previously quiet room was filled with the lewd sounds of your lips and tongues and the soft grunts and whimpers that left your lips in between each violent connection between them. You hadn’t realized how much you needed Mark, how much you had missed his touch and his burning essence on you until this very moment. Your body reacted to him almost immediately, as you felt your blood flow from your heart down to your aching core.

The heated argument from earlier was now completely forgotten and transformed into a passionate battlefield between two broken souls. Mark's crack infused breath, the bitter taste of alcohol on his dry lips and the lust overtaking his brain and controlling his actions electrified your entire body. There was not a single part of you that didn't want Mark, that didn't desire him and you couldn't help but want more of him.

Your brain, too foggy from the bold emotions and the alcohol you had consumed earlier, couldn't work properly, so your primal instincts took over you entirely. You kept kissing Mark while biting on his lower lip, which resulted in low whines coming out of him, his hardening length growing more inside the pressure of his pants.

You could sense him struggling to keep his cool and you were trying to give yourself some friction too by rubbing your thighs together. You reached your hand down to Mark's pants, cupping his dick outside the thick fabric of his jeans, the teasing action causing him to roll back his eyes.

Mark stopped kissing you abruptly and without wasting any time, he threw you on the bed with all his strength, watching you with hungry eyes. You plopped down on the bed, the sheets creasing at the sudden force and you looked at him with a lustfull gaze that invited him in.

"Wanna fuck you so dumb right now" Mark growled lowly as he took off his shirt from the back of his neck in a swift motion and continued to unbuckle his belt, his eyes never leaving your pleading ones.

You followed along, removing your own shirt and shorts, lying in bed only in your underwear. Mark had now discarded himself completely off of all his clothes except from his boxers, which had an undeniably visible precum stain on them.

Mark's body hovered above yours, connecting his lips with yours for a brief moment before he pulled back to attack your neck, biting and nipping on the spot right under your ear, which earned a loud gasp from you.

His lips kept on abusing your neck area, as you locked your fingers in his hair, tugging and pulling at it with every bite on your neck and chest. The hot sensation of his lips, tongue and wet saliva all over your body made you whimper under him, a sound that made his cock twitch inside his underwear.

Mark traveled lower down to your chest. He slipped his hand behind your back to undo your bra, removing the bra straps off your shoulders eagerly and tossing the piece of clothing somewhere in the dirty motel room. He was quick to attack your hard nipples, dropping his head to suck on one of them, and reaching the other one with his hand, twisting and rubbing it between his fingers.

Your moans and whimpers echoed in the room, the sound and smell of your bodily fluids polluted the small space, everything about the inside of the place being purely filthy.

The heat in your body kept rising and you could feel the stickiness in your panties. You wanted Mark, all of him. You wanted him to treat you however he wanted to, you wanted to please him by giving him all of you and you wanted to feel desired by him.

"Please Mark," you breathed in a soft moan, "please fuck me" your face reddened in your pathetic confession, but it didn't seem to stop Mark from ripping your panties apart, leaving your dripping cunt exposed to the dirty cold air of the room.

Your drowsy eyes and rapid breathing fueled Mark and all his inner needs, as he lifted his body off yours and parted your legs with his hands, pushing your thighs apart. You were breathing heavily in anticipation of his next move, which was a sharp slap to your pussy that sent a strong bolt of pleasure through your whole body. You moaned in pleasure and surprise and Mark repeated his action at the sound of your whiny moans.

"You're a pathetic little slut after all, aren't you?" Mark lowered his head and spat on your pussy, which had you clenching around nothing. "Look at you, begging to be fucked" he brushed one finger up and down your clit, just enough to tease you and elicit a sharp intake of breath from you. "You really pissed me off, you know?" he muttered.

"Please Mark, I want you. I need you so bad, please fuck me" you whined with a high-pitched voice, the one you knew that Mark could never resist, as you pouted your lips at him.

Mark rested his hands on your knees, holding your legs as far apart as possible, so as to have full access to your glistening cunt. His dark eyes were filled with nothing but hunger and lust, unable to control himself any longer from how bad he wanted to taste you. He lowered his head even further, brushing his lips over your clit.

"As you wish, princess" he mumbled to your wet core before he attacked your swollen bud, licking and sucking on your clit with absolutely no remorse.

A loud moan escaped from your lips at the abrupt touch of Mark's wet tongue on your pussy, your hands intertwining in his hair, grabbing and pulling at every licking stripe Mark left on you.

He kept on licking and sucking on your clit, mumbling sweet nothings and small praises, which reminded you more of the Mark you knew rather than the cold and hungry man that was presented in front of you a few minutes ago.

The lewd sounds of Mark's lips and tongue on your pussy mixed with your whiny moans turned him on to the fullest, as he pulled one of his hands away from your knee and dropped it down to slowly pump his dick underneath his underwear.

The burning desire rising up in his body was becoming too much for him, so he pulled away from your clit with one last sucking pop and took off his underwear, setting free his painfully hard length.

Mark positioned himself between your legs and with a swift motion, he turned you over to your stomach, pulling you by your hips so that your ass was higher up towards him.

"Need to fuck you so bad" Mark growled as he smacked your ass cheek with a sharp slap, your pussy clenching at the burning sensation.

"Please, Mark" you whined in the pillow, a tear rolling down your face and landing on the sheets as a response to the overstimulation taking over your body.

The way you kept whining his name and the juices almost dripping down your thighs had Mark gritting his teeth. He gave himself a few more light strokes as he positioned his dick right at your entrance. Without giving you any warning, he dived into your pussy with a sharp stroke.

You shut your eyes in pleasure and gripped the sheets tightly until your knuckles went white as Mark pounded into with sharp rhythmic strokes, each one pushing your head further into the pillow.

Your moans were coming out as crying mumbles as your face was buried deep in the sheets. Mark kept his pace and force, his head lolling back at the intensity of the moment. He kept his one hand on your hip in order to keep you steady while, with the other one, he reached down to grab a fistful of your hair, tugging at it and pulling it roughly, an action that triggered your hot tears to spill from your eyes at the pure sense of pleasure.

Mark's breathing was heavy and sharp at the sound of your soft growns and the sight of your ass jiggling at each stroke he left. "Is this what you wanted, pretty? Me fucking you so good you end up a crying fucking mess?" Mark provoked you in a voice as deep as the ocean, his groans low and hot like the pits of hell.

The sound of skin slapping on skin echoed inside the four walls of your motel room. Mark's hips connected with your ass in an intense force and a static speed, as he hit the spot that always brought you closer to the edge.

"I-I'm close, Mark, p-please" you whined as he gradually took you closer to your limits, your lower stomach twitching in pleasure and your jaw going slack as you felt your climax rising more and more.

"Let this pretty pussy cum on my dick, come on baby" Mark growled and with that, you let out a high-pitched groan into the pillow as your pussy clenched around Mark's dick, the forceful grip of your hands on the sheets was slowly loosened.

You felt Mark's strokes become sloppier as you coated his length with your warm fluids. He quickly pulled out and turned you over so your back was touching the soft mattress. He moved his body closer to you, pumping his dick slowly as he brought the tip to your lips, brushing softly against them as an invitation to take in his dripping cock.

"Open up for me, pretty" his fully blackened eyes bore into your teary ones. You slowly opened your mouth and Mark quickly pushed his cock into it, moving his hips as you bobbed your head up and down, sucking on his veiny length.

"That's right, baby. Such a good girl" Mark whimpered as he slowly released into your mouth, his hot cum dripping down your throat. You swallowed all of it completely before he pulled out and laid down on the bed next to you, both of your heavy panting echoing in the now quiet room.

Mark took a few seconds to ease his breathing and turned to the nightstand above his head to search for the pack of cigarettes you kept hidden in the small drawer. He took one cigarette out of the box and brought it to his lips. With the lighter you kept inside that very same drawer, he lit it up, smoke immediately coming out of it. The room now smelled like a mix of sex and smoke, and you winced at the odd yet satisfying combination. Mark took a long drag out of the cigarette and then puffed the smoke into the filthy air.

As soon as you caught your breath, you turned your body towards Mark's, looping your arm around his waist and resting your head on his chest. Mark responded to your intimate touch, wrapping his free arm around your shoulders, stroking your hair lightly. He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and then brought the cigarette again to his lips.

After the long and terrifying day you had, you finally felt at ease. Your heart was beating normally, your breathing was steady and your mind was blank. All you could do was savor this moment with Mark, wrapped around his arms and listening to his beating heart, a sound that promised you that everything would be alright.

"Please don't leave me, Mark. I wouldn't know what to do without you" you whispered to him as you slowly drifted away to deep sleep. Mark didn't say anything back. He kissed your forehead again instead and inhaled deeply, exhaling in a long sigh, as his eyes were fixed outside the window, looking over at the bright city lights.

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of chirping birds outside your window. From the way the room was illuminated and from the shadows that formed behind every object, you could tell that it was only a few minutes after sunrise, and the bright orange sun confirmed your speculation.

With your eyes still half-open, you stretched your arms above your head and groaned, a soft yawn leaving your pouty lips. You then shifted between the sheets, turning your body to the other side of the bed, moving your arms around in search of the drug dealer’s toned body, the one that hugged you tight to sleep.

“Good morning, Markie” you mumbled, still half asleep. You rested your head on the pillow, still patting the mattress when you couldn’t sense the male beside you. Your eyes widened in an instant and your body quickly adjusted to the awake state. You were focused on the other side of the bed, where the boy you spent the previous night with would be lying sound asleep. Instead, you were met with nothing but tangled bedsheets.

“Mark?” you called again, in hopes that maybe he was in the bathroom and he couldn’t hear you. No response.

You yanked the sheets off you and rushed to the bathroom, opening the squeaky door with more force than you intended. “Mark?” you called, but the calling was in vain.

Maybe he went down to the diner to get us breakfast, you thought. It was still very early in the morning, but the diner never closed during the night, so there might be some leftovers or, if you were lucky, some fresh food at this hour.

So you decided to wait for him, thinking that his whereabouts were probably the old diner. Since you were now fully awake, you decided to take a shower and change into some fresh clothes. It will only be a few minutes, Mark will probably be back by the time I’m finished, you thought.

So you hopped into the shower, letting the warm water fall down your tense shoulders in order to ease your nerves and help your body physically relax. Your mind brought up the memories of the previous night you spent with Mark. You thought about the cop that came to the bar, you thought about the fact that Mark was in serious danger, you thought about your argument with him and how you made up afterwards by having steamy sex, just like every other time.

You didn’t know how to label your relationship with Mark, or whatever you had with him. He was more than a friend but less than a lover. He protected you, cared for you, helped you with any troubles you had and was always there for you, whatever it took for him. And what did you do for him in return? Nothing.

You did absolutely nothing, at least nothing that could compare to what he did for you. And you hated yourself for not being able to pull him out of his misery, even for the slightest bit, when he could even go as far as to move mountains just to see you crack a smile.

You didn’t deserve him; yet you were too selfish to let him go. He was a soul that wanted to fly and be free, but his wings were weighed down by your annoying fears and anxieties for the unknown.

The water dripping down your body suddenly turned cold and you immediately turned off the faucet and ran out of the shower, wiping your body dry with a towel. There was still no sight of Mark, so you quickly put on some fresh clothes and searched throughout the room in order to find your phone and call him.

Your eyes scanned every corner of the room where you could have possibly left your phone, when your gaze dropped to the wooden chair across the bed, the one where Mark usually sat when he played the guitar, only to find a folded piece of paper.

You stepped closer to the chair, picking up the piece of paper and turning it around. With shaky hands, you slowly unfolded it and a shiny bright red guitar pick fell on the floor. You picked it up, bringing it closer to your eye only to recognize it as one of Mark’s favorite ones.

You held the pick between your fingers and sat down at the wooden chair, looking at the wrinkly piece of paper. Written with a dark pencil, you recognized the sloppy handwriting and the small neat letters as none other than Mark’s and you couldn't help but feel your eyes sting in threatening tears as you slowly read and processed each heartfelt word he wrote:

Dear Y/n,

You’re probably reading this because you can’t see me in your room. But don’t bother look, because I have already left for a better, safer life and I won’t be coming back.

So here’s everything I couldn’t bring myself to say last night.

I love you deeply, Y/n. And I know your feelings towards me differ from my feelings towards you, but I’m not scared to hide it. You’re afraid of the power your heart holds and I understand that. For that, I will give you time, as much as you need to learn how to use this power.

I don’t know if I am a strong man or a coward for leaving; that I’m not sure of. But what I’m sure of is my life, and right now my life is in danger. I always spoke to you about how I wanted to have a normal life, to escape from this hell hole and build a different path for me.

Most importantly, I wanted to build this path with you. You’re the only thing that made this hell hole bearable, the only thing that gave me purpose, the thing that made my life have a meaning.

But I took some time to think and I realized that I can’t force you to follow the same path as me, no matter how much I need you or how much I want only what’s best for you.

So I left. I left to build this new path and I will try as hard as I can. I don’t care if I fail, because I know I can keep on trying and, no matter where you are, just the thought of you gives me strength.

I’m leaving you a piece of me behind though. My favorite guitar pick. I want you to have it. You can keep it, burn it, destroy it, I don’t care what you’ll do with it. I just want you to have something to remember me, something that means to me as much as you do.

So, for the meantime, mark me in your heart like I have marked you in mine, and think about what makes you truly happy. If you ever change your mind, you already know where to find me.

Your beloved,

M.

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[babbymochiiii]

[ 11:10 am ]

a/n: I felt like this needed warnings just cause this is straight from my mind and I didn’t think in advance about warnings 💀

warnings: no use of jeno’s name bc this is in the readers pov, fucking a stranger, p in v, jeno is wearing a mask bc it’s a scaring event 🤷🏼, degrading, name calling (brat and slut), cumming inside

“fu-fuck..” you moaned out from underneath the hand covering your mouth.

The sound of your wetness bouncing across the small storage closet you found yourself in with the man that is rearranging your guts.

“You’re so fucking wet.” The man growled out as he watched how you swallowed him in greed. “All this for me gorgeous?” He taunts as he squeezes your face with the hand that covers your mouth.

You started to nod your head submissively as you looked into his eyes, considering the rest of his face was covered by a mask. You knew this man was killer underneath that mask for the way the rest of him looks.

“Taunting a stranger just because he can’t scare you, tsk.” He says as he started plowing into you harder. “Then going around with your friends saying how you would fuck me. How’s that going for you brat?” He said as he brought his hand down from your mouth and pinched your clit.

“Ah! Nngh, s-so good!” You moaned out as the pleasure was becoming a hot white iron inside of you.

“Fucking slut. Taking a stranger’s cock the way you are. So greedily.” He growled out at the end as he wrapped his arms around you waist, making it where he’s holding you completely against him instead of the wall.

You moaned loudly at the new deeper feeling he was giving you in this position. You took hold of his shirt and held on tightly, causing wrinkles.

“Mmgh, greedy sluts get cum inside of them. Is that what you want gorgeous?” He questions into your ear.

“Nngh! Yes, yes! Oh please cum inside of me!” You whimpered as you felt the pressure building up inside of you becoming too much.

He kept pounding into you until his thrusts started to become sloppy. A couple more strokes before he gave one last hard thrust and he started coming inside of you. With the sensation of his cum roping inside of you sets of your orgasm. You felt your legs shake as you held onto him tightly, not wanting to let go.

Not wanting to stop, he started to slowly thrust into you, as if testing your sensitivity. This causes you to whimper slightly but clench around him.

“So greedy, you want more gorgeous?” He said as his thrusts started to build up in intensity.

You nodded your head against his neck with a small moan as he started to hit your good spot repeatedly.

“God, you’re the death of me woman.” He groans out before he started thrusting you without mercy.

[joyoushyuck]

06:23

Donghyuck is still sleeping when you wake up.

He looks peaceful, you think. Not a common sight, you'd even call his sleeping form the eighth wonder because a conscious Donghyuck is never calm. His cheeks are puffy, lips set in a cute pout, hair a royal mess. You thread your fingers through his unruly strands in an attempt to tame them.

Donghyuck's hand is loosely thrown around your waist but you know you couldn't wiggle out of it even if you tried. Not that you want to; it's cozier this way with his legs thrown over yours and body moulded perfectly to fit against your curves.

A few stray rays of light escape through your curtains, forming a magical halo around Donghyuck's face, giving it the softest of glows. Your finger traces his many moles. He looks ethereal like this. You feel an overwhelming amount of love for this man.

You want to protect him, even though the love bites painting his bare torso, the medusa tattoo just above his waist band and his toned biceps don't call for any protection. If anything, your frangible heart is the only thing that requires a lee from the whirlwind that is your boyfriend.

"You're staring babe," and you jump, heart thudding loud and so-not-proud against your chest. The room seems hotter than it was a moment ago, the peaceful ambience destroyed by his usual playfulness. He cracks an eye open and shoots a complacent smirk in your general direction.

"You don't have to scare me like that, you creep!" You huff, embarassed to face him. You try to get out of his hold; an impossible feat because he works out and you don't. So you take refuge among the fulffiness of the many pillows thrown over your bed.

"Says the one who was staring at me," is his smug reply, which earns a slap on his toned chest. Again, he's hardly affected by it. Atleast he has the decency to pretend it hurts.

Your breathing is still audibly heavy from the shock. He runs a placating hand on your back as a quiet apology. "Good morning," he mumbles, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

"Too late for that, don't you think," you spit in lieu of a reply, no real bite in your words. He chuckles, the sound arising from what you can only imagine to be the deepest parts of him, so low, so attractive, so domestic.

He kisses your hair with an obnoxiously loud smack and then giggles like a teenage girl because he's silly like that. Silly and annoying and so, so cute, his existence stimulates your most primal urges; you love him so much your chest hurts.

And you aren't scared to let him know what he does to you. "I love you." It's out of blue, and most definitely not a regular happening. You feel him stiffen, breath catching in his throat and heart beating infinitely faster. The playfulness drains out of him, leaving a sincere man who loves you with his entire being.

His hand on your waist pulls you closer. He kisses you properly this time, lips moving against yours slowly, like he wants to savour this moment as much as you do. When you break the kiss, he rests his forehead on yours, a hand holding your cheek carefully like you are delicate china. Precious. His.

"Me too," he says breathily. Donghyuck is looking at you - your eyes, nose, lips - searching your face. And when he finds what he's looking for, "I love you too, my pretty baby. So, so, so much."

-

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