Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
Chapter three ⭐︎ So if you need to be mean, be mean to me
Warnings: angst angst angst! mean!Steve, bitchy!reader, slight allusions to unrequited love, mentions of Vecna and the upside down, argument, Steve being a dick to reader. and before anyone comes at me with the 'but your Steve is so ooc! he isn't mean anymore' this is a fic, this is enemies to lovers, you see the mean!Steve warnings, you know what you're getting yourself into.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Steve had buried his past self, King Steve was dead, but all it took was a little push for him to make a small appearance again, to rain nothing but chaos upon his already weak 'friendship' with you. You pushed him, and you did it a little too hard.
Word count: 5k+
Author's note: Big big biggest shoutout to my bestie @hellfire--cult for helping me and writing those evil evil lines, you're the best
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He regrets waking up that day.
He regrets saying yes to Robin and the kids to hang out.
He regrets picking up Max’s phone call.
If he wouldn’t have done any of these things, he wouldn’t be where he is right now.
Parked in front of your house so he can drive you both to Robin’s.
It’s been a week since the day at his place, a week since you had stormed out of his house, a week since he had last seen you. It almost feels weird. He can’t even remember the last time he had gone without seeing you this long. If you’re not hanging out with the group, he sees you going into the coffee shop across from Family Video every afternoon. Sometimes you even run into each other at Bradley’s Big Buy, but since last Saturday, he hasn’t seen you anywhere – it’s almost as though you had disappeared. Maybe he would have worried if it wasn’t for Max and El gushing over your shopping trip to Indianapolis the other day, he panicked when they told him that, thinking that you were driving again when you still weren’t allowed to, but El had calmed him down, telling him that you used the train.
With a sigh, he gets out of the car. He runs his fingers through his hair out of nervousness. He rings the doorbell and takes a step back, staring at the wooden door.
How will you even react to seeing him here?
You’re surely expecting Eddie, not him.
The door opens after a moment, revealing you on the other side, looking as beautiful as always – unfortunately. You’re wearing a white top, the soft pink stripes matching the color of your glossy lips, your skin looking soft and glowy as the sun shines into your house, the fading bruises are almost all gone, finally. The scent of your perfume, something sweet and flowery invades his space, and he can’t help but inhale it, feeling warmth blooming in his chest.
He takes you in, the way you look beneath the sun rays, the way your dainty necklace lies so prettily on your chest, the way your lashes touch your skin as you blink at him.
The smile on your face instantly fades away when you lock eyes with him, the usual grumpy frown takes over instead, that pulls him back into reality.
“The fuck are you doing here?”
Yeah, you’re only pretty and cute when you keep your mouth shut.
He clenches his jaw, trying not to show how annoyed he is already.
“Picking you up.”
You furrow your brows at him, “what? Where’s Eddie?”
“He forgot about his Doctor’s appointment, he had to rush out. Max called me and told me to pick you up.”
“Oh,” you nod and you stare at him for a long moment before a smile appears on your face, “she told you, huh?”
Caught off guard by the smile on your face, he stays quiet, only nodding at your words.
You chuckle to yourself, turning away from him to pick up your jacket and your keys. Surprising him by not fighting him, you step out of the house and close the door. You look him up and down, eying the keys in his hand.
“Can I drive your car?” You ask, tilting your head, “I promise I’ll take better care of it than you ever could.”
He snorts at your words, looking at you with an expression that almost makes you laugh.
“With that head injury? Yeah, not a fucking chance, Blondie.”
Rolling your eyes, you brush past him, already making your way over to his car.
“It’s been like what… a month? I’m all healed, I’m feeling peachy.”
“A month and you still get dizzy and don’t even lie about it.”
Once again, you keep quiet instead of throwing a smartass remark back, it makes him furrow his brows at you. Instead of opening the door, he leans his elbow on the roof of his car, looking over at you curiously.
You open the door and put one foot in before you halt when you notice him staring.
“What?”
“Did you fall on your head or something?”
You shake your head at him, scrunching your face up.
“You’re not fighting me, are you feeling okay?” He smirks.
Scoffing at his words, you flip him off before you get into the car without a single word.
He taps his fingers against the car, looking up at the blue sky with a smirk that turns into a content smile, he thought the bickering would start the moment you opened that door. Maybe today won’t be so bad.
Though when he gets into his car and he glances at you, you’re already staring back at him with that certain look in your eyes, the one that tells him everything he needs to know. Your eyes are glimmering with that smugness, the one that’s always there when you’re about to tease him with something that you know will annoy him.
“Is Nancy gonna be there?”
“Huh?”
You blink at him innocently as you fasten your seatbelt.
“Nancy, is she gonna be there? You know, since you only get the chance to be around her during these group hangouts,” you smirk.
He squints his eyes at you, biting back the bitter words that he was about to throw at you. He turns away and starts the car.
He backs out of your driveway and without a single word, he starts driving.
“Must suck being in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same, huh?”
He stares at the road ahead, blankly. He could swear there was a hint of hurt in your voice. He doesn’t look at you, despite feeling your eyes on him, he doesn’t look and only grips the steering wheel tighter.
“But what would I know,” you snort and he hears you leaning back in the seat, the leather squeaking a little as you try to get more comfortable.
Yeah, what would you know? He thinks.
You’re cold and you’re mean – he is certain that there’s not a single trace of love in your heart. How you care that deeply for Max will always remain a mystery to him.
“Are you a grandpa or something or where is the music!?”
“You make enough music for us.”
He turns to you for a brief second, to see you scrunching up your face at him, shaking your head in confusion.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Lego head?”
“Your yapping and whining is enough for me.”
“Oh, so you’re saying my yapping and whining is music to your ears?” You smirk. “Just say that you love hearing my voice.”
“Shut up,” he murmurs, glaring at you. He clenches his jaw and flicks the button to turn on the music.
Material Girl by Madonna starts playing and he instantly feels his heart dropping, his cheeks start glowing red – at least, that’s what it feels like. He grows flustered underneath your stare the moment you start laughing.
“Oh wow, I knew you were a girly girl, Harrington.”
He changes the song, calming down when some Duran Duran song starts playing instead, but you are still laughing, and he can only groan in annoyance, pointing his finger at you, “shut up, Blondie.”
Your face only grows more amused, and this is where the teasing begins and the drive to Robin’s house becomes a torture for him and he practically starts counting down the second till he can finally get out of the car that he usually loves being in.
He bites his tongue, not saying a single word while you yap away the way you always do.
What a fool he was for thinking that this day could have been good, you manage to ruin every day of his.
He can only stay quiet for so long.
“Do you ever shut up or do I have to make you!?”
That seems to shut you up. At least, for a moment. When he glances at you with angry eyes, he notices the smug look on your face that still didn’t stray away from you, not even after his words.
“And how would you do that?” You ask, mockingly.
He stares at your lips for a moment, clenching his jaw and gripping the gear stick tightly. He looks away as he turns left, pulling up in Robin’s driveway, he parks the car.
“I have an idea or two,” he mumbles and gets out before you can question him. He almost thinks that his words have stunned you, when you take a moment longer to get out of the car, but when you do and your eyes meet his, you smirk again.
He starts walking backwards, taking in the sight of you as you walk towards him. Your jeans hug your hips and your legs so perfectly that he begins to hate them. He almost feels ashamed for wanting to see them from the back. His eyes move up to your top, without intending to stare at your cleavage but he does.. and fuck, he hates how attracted his body is to you.
“So cocky and for what?” You chuckle as you brush past him, not noticing his staring.
Steve’s cheeks are red, his eyes instantly fall down to your butt when he turns around to follow you onto the porch. You move your hips and he has to clench his jaw.
It’s really a shame that he can’t stand you.
You ring the doorbell and patiently wait for Robin to open, you don’t spare him a glance, you don’t even turn around to tease him any further, he doesn’t mind it though, it gives him the chance to keep looking at you. Your skin looks soft and he sometimes catches himself wondering what it would feel like to touch you, it’s glowing and he can’t help but ask himself whether it’s because of the body cream that you put on or if it’s just this pretty on it’s own – not that he ever imagines you putting lotion on your body after a shower, definitely not.
“Oh great, you didn’t kill each other!” Robin’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he quickly looks away from you, clearing his throat.
Robin grabs your hand and pulls you into her house, only throwing a glance over her shoulder at him, “come on in Dingus, you know the way.”
“Yeah,” he mumbles as he walks in, watching the way his best friend pays more attention to you than to him. Not only did you nestle your way into his friend group, you had also seemingly nestled your way into Robin’s heart. He watches the friendship between you slowly blossoming and he can’t help but feel jealous of that.
He stays back in the hallway for a moment, preparing for a long evening with you.
He hears Robin talking your ear off already, Max and Lucas are in the kitchen too. But no one else is around. Nancy and Jonathan are on a date, he knows that, Jonathan gushed about it to Argyle before he left the other day and Steve couldn’t help but eavesdrop when he heard them talking about Nancy. The other teens are off doing god knows what. So much for the weekly group hangouts.
He hears your laughter and he can’t help but roll his eyes. It’s not the kind of laugh that he ever gets, no, whenever you laugh with or at him, it’s like you’re mocking him or making fun of him – not that he cares, he does the same to you. It’s your thing.
But for some reason it bothers him to hear and see you laughing like this with the others.
You get along with Robin, you get along with Eddie, you get along with the teens – hell, you even get along with Nancy even though you glared daggers at each other that day at skull rock.
With him, you’re either grumpy and rude or you’re just a snappy smug brat – which seems to be the case today.
Steve walks into the kitchen, putting on a smile to greet Max and Lucas with.
“Hey,” Max mumbles grumpily, only shooting him a brief and very forced smile before she goes back to her deep conversation with you.
Another grump, he thinks to himself. It’s not a surprise that the snappy teen likes you so much, you’re both the same person.
Lucas greets him with a handshake and a friendly smile, something that two of the three girls in this room should learn.
“Are you coming to my game next friday?”
“Yeah, of course,” Steve nods.
“You can bring her,” Lucas wiggles his brows at him, gesturing to you with a wink, “as a date,” he whispers.
Steve scrunches his face up, as though he is disgusted by the thought of it – like he wasn’t just checking you out on the porch.
“You’re joking, right?” He mumbles as he looks over Lucas’s shoulder, glancing at you.
“No,” Lucas crosses his arms over his chest, shaking his head, “you are awfully mean to her, which means that you must like her.”
Steve’s eyes widen and he looks over at you again, in sheer panic, hoping that you didn’t just hear the ridiculous words that have left Lucas’s mouth. You’re too distracted by whatever story Max is telling you though, looking back and forth between her and Robin.
He looks back at Lucas to see him staring smugly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Isn’t that what you said to Dustin when he asked you for girls advice?” He snorts, shaking his head once again, “‘the key with girls is acting like you don’t care’” Lucas mocks quietly, chuckling after that.
Steve sighs, putting his hand on his hip, “he told you that?”
Lucas leans closer, “he sure did,” he smirks as he turns his head to glance at you before her turns back around, “I remembered it the other day, and it had me thinking–”
“Alright,” Steve interrupts him, he places his hands on his shoulders, “stop that, Sinclair.”
Lucas laughs, eying the flustered look on Steve’s face, who shoots him another glare before he steps away. He clears his throat, looking at the kitchen island where Robin had already prepared all the snacks.
He grabs two bowls, glancing back at Lucas, “help me carry the snacks over to the living room, man. These ladies are too busy gossiping,” he says, expecting you to turn around and throw a comment back at him, but you don’t.
Robin squints her eyes, nodding at him, “don’t give us the sass, Dingus.”
Lucas chuckles at her, he walks over to the kitchen island, reaching for the bowl of sour gummies and the M&M’s, “when is Steve ever not sassy?”
At that, you finally turn to face them, a smirk tugging at your lips, you don’t have to say anything to show him that you agree with Lucas.
He only rolls his eyes at you, no further words needed as he leaves the kitchen, stepping into the living room with Lucas trailing behind.
“Wow, you didn’t even say anything to her.”
Steve has to roll his eyes again, the teasing in his voice isn’t very subtle. He opens his mouth to speak when the doorbell rings and Lucas rushes out of the room before he can even move or say anything.
“Well, look at what the cat dragged in,” Lucas says after opening the front door.
“Found him on the side of the road.” Steve hears Eddie’s voice.
“Oh you two are such jokesters. You think I’d miss out on game night?” Dustin’s voice sounds through the hallway. “What are we even playing?”
Robin replies enthusiastically as she walks into the living room with Dustin by her side and Eddie tagging along, greeting Steve with a grin.
“Oh boy, the board’s definitely getting flipped today,” Dustin laughs.
Steve raises his brows, “you mean you will flip the board?”
Dustin tilts his head as he looks at his older friend, his smile turning into a playful frown, “hello to you too, Steve.”
“Henderson.”
Dustin claims the loveseat before anyone else can, slumping down with a grin on his face, he reaches for one of the sour gummies in the bowl.
“What’s wrong? Did your phone date not go so well with your girlfriend?” Steve teases.
“At least I have a girlfriend,” Dustin winks at him.
As you walk into the room, Lucas faces Steve again, with a teasing grin, “what do you mean, he’s got one too, she’s right there.”
Dustin gives him a funny look before he turns around with furrowed eyebrows, confusion flashing in his eyes before they widen and he turns back to look at a very unimpressed Steve.
“What!? You two are dating?” He shrieks loud enough for you to freeze in your spot.
Steve closes his eyes, shaking his head at him.
“Huh?”
Eddie rolls his eyes at Dustin, “Henderson, I think that Sinclair might have a little too much imagination over there.”
Lucas only shrugs, still grinning.
“You’re playing matchmaker with the wrong people,” Robin laughs, looking between you and Steve.
“Absolutely,” Eddie chuckles, sitting down on the couch next to her.
“Can we just play the game now?” You ask as both you and Max sit down on the ground in front of the board game that Robin had already put out.
“Ooh, we’re playing Ludo?” Dustin asks.
Everyone nods, everyone except for Robin.
“What?” She chuckles, cupping her cheek as she looks around, “that’s Wahoo.”
“Huh?” You tilt your head at her, “Wahoo?”
“That’s what the game is called,” Robin says, pointing to the board.
Steve watches the way you shake your head in confusion, slightly pouting as you stare at her. Fuck… you almost look cute.
As Eddie reaches for the dice, he throws it up in the air, catching it between two fingers, “this game is called Sorry! my friends,” he smirks, cockily. “We only need four players so who goes first?”
Lucas, who starts scarving down the snacks, waves a hand at Eddie, “I’ll sit this round out,” he says with a mouthful of chips.
“Don’t talk with food in your mouth!” Max rolls her eyes at him.
“Red, Dustin, Robin and Steve go first,” Eddie says. “The master has spoken, now let the games begin,” he says in his deep voice.
Steve rolls his eyes at him, “this isn’t D&D dude, we don’t need a master.”
“Still.”
“Okay!” Robin claps her hands together, “let’s play!”
And as the game started, everyone laughed, everyone was having fun, everyone was joking around, it was all lighthearted. Dustin was throwing tantrums in his team with Robin, while Eddie snickered. Robin was a loser, and she accepted that she sucked at this game, competing against a bunch of stubborn teens. She was the first to sit out and stop playing. Max and Lucas preferred to stay out after the first few rounds, amused by watching the gameplay.
And then, Steve and you were outright competing as if it were a championship. Neither of you even noticed that it was only you two left, everyone else stopped playing a while ago, watching this intense competition instead.
While you took it all with ease, teasing him with a few jabs here and there whenever he was losing against you, Steve took it all a little more seriously. Because the moment he lost against you more than once, the anger in him started rising – not because of the game, but because of the looks you were giving him, those smug and cocky looks, the comments that weren’t even that bad – but everything, everything about you was pissing him off this day.
Your attitude this morning, your comments, your jabs, your arrogance, you’ve been getting on his nerves from the moment you got into his car.
And right now, he can feel his chest heaving, burning in anger and frustration.
His jaw is clenched, his eyes are hurting from the intense glares that you start giving each other.
Neither of you feel the eyes of the others on you two, the nervous glances, the warning ones because everyone knows what will follow after this.
You both want to win against the other so desperately and currently, it’s a tie between the two of you. He won three rounds, you won three rounds – this apparently will be the last one, this one will decide who will win this very meaningless, stupid game.
But Robin can’t take it any longer, she can’t keep watching the two of you getting angrier each passing second, knowing that this round will only lead to another, and both you and Steve could sit here all night, because you are both stubborn brats when it comes to each other – as it seems.
“Okay!” Robin throws her hands up, snatching the dice from Steve’s hand that he was just about to throw, “can you two stop? It’s a tie, move on!”
You and Steve look away from one another, raising your heads to look at Robin who glares at the two of you.
“We’ll finish and then we’re done!”
Steve groans at your words.
“No!” Robin shakes her head, “because one will win and the other won’t, and then it’s a fucking mess, so stop playing! You fought interdimensional monsters together, for fucks sake!”
“Right, that doesn’t mean anything.” Steve rolls his eyes before he looks back at you, only to see your face fall.
He almost feels guilty. You risked your life out there, not only for Max and Lucas but also for him.
“That doesn’t mean anything!? Well aren’t you fucking grateful, Harrington.”
“Everyone fought, not just you, don’t think you’re all high and mighty,” he mumbles through the anger that he is still feeling.
A part of him is begging to just move on and keep his mouth shut, but he is frustrated, not just because of the game, but because of you, every small comment from you reminds him of how much he can’t stand you.
“Hey, hey, hey, break it up,” Eddie says as he gets up from the couch, raising his hands up as he takes in the hurt but angry look in your eyes.
You shake your head, “no, no, let him keep going! I want to hear what this bastard with his hero complex has to say to me.”
Eddie can see the way Steve is fuming, the way the anger in his eyes gets stronger and stronger. He stands up, moving closer to you as you get up as well.
“You fought with us once. Once! And you think that makes you equal to us!? You have no idea what we all went through, you have no idea the people we lost along the way, you know nothing!” He snaps at you, ignoring the way you draw back as your eyes fill with something he can’t read.
Max straightens up in her seat, already reaching for her crutches as her eyes widen, seeing the way your lips twitch as blink up at Steve.
“Steve, stop!”
If he wasn’t so angry, he would have heard the fear in Max’s voice, something that normally would’ve made him draw back in an instant.
You glance at her, shaking your head, yet again. “No, Max, it’s okay.” You turn back to face him, looking into his eyes coldly – that’s the only look he knows, that’s the one he cannot stand. “What does Steve Harrington know about loss!?”
Steve feels his gut twisting, he clenches his jaw but doesn’t answer your question, he keeps staring at you.
“What? Mom and Dad left you the whole house to yourself, and you consider that loss!?” You frown, lifting your arm, you gesture to the people in the room. “I see Robin alive, I see Eddie alive, I see all of the kids alive, so who exactly did you fucking lose, Harrington?”
Behind the anger and the emptiness in your eyes, is sadness and pain, something he can’t see through the haze that he is in, right now.
All he sees is something, someone he hates, someone who acts like she knows everything, someone who does nothing but bring chaos and anger into his heart and into a friends group that is so sacred to him.
He never felt this angry before, not even when he found Nancy with Jonathan, not even when she cheated on him and left, not during a single fight with his dad, nothing had ever made him feel such rage.
“You are so fucking horrible!” He snaps at you, not caring about anything, right this second. Everyone in the room disappears, Dustin, Max and Lucas are no longer there, and neither are Robin and Eddie, it’s just you and him now. “I hate the fucking day we ran into you at Skull Rock! You are the most despicable and cold hearted bitch I’ve ever met! I would be surprised if you ever loved somebody!”
He can’t see the shock or the pain that nestles into your features.
He doesn’t even hear the gasps from the others in the room.
“Steve!” Max yells, reminding him of the fact that she is there, that everyone else is here too.
The girl almost falls over when she jumps up. Lucas stands up as well, steadying her before she can fall. They both look at you, both of them see the hurt in your eyes, the way you helplessly stare back at the guy that you risked your life for.
Robin and Eddie stare at him in disbelief, not knowing the Steve that they are looking at, right now.
All that Steve can see is red though.
“No, Mayfield, let me fucking finish because she needs to understand how terrible she is.” He practically spits in your face, not tearing his eyes away from yours, at all. “I-I mean, don’t you ever ask yourself why you don’t have anyone? Why no one bothers to stick around because I’d be really surprised if someone did – even more, I would be surprised if anyone ever loved you at all. You’re not someone easy to fucking love, Blondie. Trust me on that.”
And the moment those words fall from his lips, the room falls silent, dead silent. His heart stops racing and his skin runs cold. Suddenly, he is brought back into the room, the haze fleeting away more and more and he can now see clear again.
And as he looks at you, really looks at you, his heart drops to his stomach and every trace of anger is gone, replaced by a guilt he had never felt before.
Your eyes are filled with tears as you stare at him with nothing but pain, not a single trace of coldness in them, not a single trace of anger or indifference or even hate for the man in front of you. All he can see is pain, pain, pain.. Your tears are welling up more and more, threatening to spill down your cheeks. Your throat bobbed up and down, like you are trying to gulp down the ball of nerves and sobs threaten to fall from your lips.
For a split second, he can see through you and he sees something there never was before – something that tells him that you would let him do this, until he’d get enough of hurting you, that you would let him break you, little by little. But, he had enough.
You look down as your bottom lip starts to tremble.
As he sees that, Steve feels like the most horrible person on the planet. Worse than his dad, worse than the monsters he had fought, worse than Vecna.
What had prompted him to throw such awful and vile words at you?
The guilt that takes over almost feels unbearable and the moment he wants to take back those words, to apologize, you are already gone.
Lucas calls out to you, but the slamming of the front door is all he gets back.
Before Steve can even look around the room, his back is slammed against the nearest wall and he is met by the sight of an angry Eddie, his eyes darker than ever, nose flaring as he grips the collars of his polo, pressing him harshly against the wall.
“I would fucking punch you in the face right now, Harrington. Don’t forget who was the first person to jump into the water to save your ass!” He yells at him, giving him one final push that knocks the breath out of him before Eddie lets go and leaves to go after you.
Steve looks down, closing his eyes as he takes a deep breath.
“Steve… what the fuck?” Dustin mumbles, softly, staring at his older friend in disappointment.
Robin looks around the room, before her eyes lock on Steve, she looks at him in confusion, not understanding where all of this came from.
“Dingus.. what the hell was that? Why did you–”
“Everyone leave the room.”
It’s Max’s voice that sounds through the room, awfully calm. So calm that it takes everyone aback.
Lucas stares at his girlfriend, completely confused.
All it takes is a single look from her though and he and Dustin scatter out of the room. Dustin pulls Robin along who protests at first but follows when she looks back at Max, who only shakes her head.
It’s silent for a long minute, and Steve doesn’t know what to feel.
“That was fucked up, Steve.” Max says.
Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, fighting the tears that threaten to build up.
Not only did he hurt you, something he never thought was even possible. He also showed his friends a side of him he wanted to keep buried. A side that surely makes them feel less safe around him now.
“I-I know, I don’t.. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
Max purses her lips, looking down at the ground to avoid eye contact.
“She may not have been with us from the start, hell, I wasn’t either. It doesn’t mean that she didn’t experience it just the same. She may not have fought monsters, Steve. But the monsters have gotten to her without her knowing about them.”
You fought monsters, you fought the bats off of him.
He snaps his head up, staring at her with a frown on his face.
“Max I–”
The redhead shakes her head, anger and disappointment still on her face.
“I’m not the one you have to apologize to. I will not tell you her story, I’m not allowed to do that. But you are wrong, you are terribly wrong about everything you just said about her.”
She reaches for her crutches, giving him one final look before she leaves the room.
He stares at the ground with a gnawing feeling in his chest, hating himself more and more as the seconds go by.
The look you gave him will haunt him for the rest of his life.
How could he ruin everything in the span of a few minutes?
How could he not see the hurt in your eyes after only the first words that he threw at you?
How could he not see the vulnerable side of you?
How was he so blinded by the act you had put on?
He judged a book by its cover, just like King Steve had done in the past. There is no excuse. No fucking excuse for what he had done to you.
♡
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