#needed these images on my blog for...reasons uhh

[omegapheromone]

do you have any advice for someone who is struggling to figure out their misce identity?

personally i’ve always just assumed that i’m an omega (because i’m a smaller person and more submissive?) and gone with that, but after thinking about it more i really don’t think i am?

i think that i have a lot of “typical” or “normal” omega traits, but i feel much more like an alpha? so uhh yeah hopefully this isn’t too annoying

Hiya! Not at all annoying, this ask is a great opportunity for me to talk about some topics I've been wanting to talk about for a while, actually! I will write a longer post but here's everything, VERY shortly:

First of all, ask yourself why you ascribe specific traits or features to specific dynamics, and WHY in your mind being small and submissive means one HAS TO be an Omega. Does this mean that absolutely no omega ever can be tall, muscular, strong, dominant? Does this mean that not a single alpha ever can be small or submissive? Where did these mental associations come from? Could it be that you have subconsciously taken the most common and stereotypical fictional traits of "alphas and omegas", even if you know logically it doesn't work in real life, and are trying to force those stereotypes onto yourself? Would you tell anyone ELSE but yourself that they cannot be an alpha because they are small and submissive? Or would you tell anyone else that they cannot be an omega, because they are tall and strong and dominant? Or are these things you're only trying to force on yourself because you think you should fit some stereotype that's completely based on fictional characters?

My tone there isn't meant to sound harsh at all- I go WAY more in detail below, but the post is long, like, genuinely very long, and I'm just trying to summarize the simplest and most important point as concisely as I can in a string of questions to ask yourself- the point in ALL of this is that your identity should be dictated by what feels right and good to YOU, not what stereotype you fit into. People are always more complex than stereotypes, and if you feel more alpha, then that's all you need. Physical traits, personality, sexual preferences, etc- none of these things dictate what your dynamic is or should be.

That being said, I have to give a fair warning. This post WILL end up being LONG.

Another thing- I personally am an omega and have always identified as such, so I'm gonna tag @pack-the-pack and more specifically @miscealignment a.k.a. Null's more misce-focused blog- not only do I find his opinions interesting and generally insightful when it comes to all matters misce, but I think Null will probably have more to say about the alpha part specifically. I'd also like to tag @beta-adjacent for similar reasons! Further down, I'm going to talk about my own personal perceptions of the dynamics, and my point if view as an omega only goes so far, ESPECIALLY when I've never really questioned the fact that I am an omega, even when OTHER people have (more on that way, way later.)

With those out of the way, my actual response will be posted under the cut just so I don't clog anyone's dashboard too much! Once again, prepare for rambling and a LOT of text. Sorry in advance (；´∀｀)

About Misce- Your Mental Image;

a.k.a. let's start with a little imagination. ...or lack of, maybe?

Firstly, I would ask you to evaluate what you think of when you think about each of the dynamics. While you're completely free to your personal interpretation as is everyone, I tend to think that if your mental images look something like "Alpha=dom, top, strong, masculine", and "Omega=sub, bottom, feminine, dainty and emotional" and "Beta=side character", you're not REALLY looking at misce dynamics, rather, you're more thinking of a highly stereotypical and (subconsciously) heteronormative version of omegaverse that is (often) used almost exclusively only for the sake of making mpreg possible in m/m fiction. And to be clear, yet again: Misce is NOT Omegaverse.

This specific way of interpreting alpha/omega/beta dynamics is literally just straight people gender norms repackaged to be forced onto gay/queer people, and is not in any way realistic to 99.99% of irl gay/queer relationships, nevermind people. A lot of misce folks are also some flavour of lgbtq+ anyway, and you can see why it could become an issue to impose heteronormative roles onto people who do not, by definition, fit said roles. Here's what I mean:

"Alphas are tall, big and strong and handsome dominant leader types who provide for the physically weak, dainty and small and traditionally attractive, emotional, submissive omegas. Omegas bear and raise the children, while alphas work and earn money. Omegas are at a social disadvantage because of their dynamic, and alphas often benefit from theirs, therefore it's not unusual to see omegas being exploited by alphas. And Betas are the 'other people' who don't fit these roles, I guess."

Now switch "alpha" to man, and "omega" to woman, and read it again. (And for an extra spicy take, switch "beta" to "lgbtq+ folk"... just saying.) See what I mean?

This is a common portrayal in a LOT of omegaverse fiction regardless of what biological sex/gender the characters are, and I'm SURE you've seen portrayals like this many, many times. In fiction, there's nothing wrong with interpretations or depictions like this! I know some people are unable to read works of fiction critically and think that using portrayals like these is somehow inherently bad, and sure, this specific market is definitely oversaturated as well- but the thing is that for many authors and creatives, applying these existing (male and female) roles and forms of discrimination onto imagined secondary genders such as alphas and omegas is a way to explore gender discrimination, homophobia, misogyny, social issues, etc in writing. But the crucial part is that this ONLY WORKS IN FICTION. Omegaverse is fiction, so it's fine. But Misce is not fiction. Misce is identities and people.

About Misce- Identity, NOT Tropes Or Roles;

a.k.a. let's not base real people identities on fictional stuff (or sexual preferences, for that matter).

You cannot apply those previously discussed concepts to real, living people's identities. This much is obvious. Cathegorizing real people into "alphas are the strong and big and dominant ones", "betas are the in-between ones", and "omegas are the dainty and small and submissive ones" doesn't work and should never be done to begin with.

You also cannot cathegorize people based on their sexual preferences- "Alpha" does not automatically mean they top or dom. "Omega" does not automatically mean "bottom" or "sub". Beta does not automatically mean vers/switch. Sexual preferences are separate from dynamics, and you should not assume anything based on someone's dynamic to begin with. While misce has its sexual aspects to many, it's almost never ONLY sexual. In my experience, if anything, it's a very small part of being misce to most people I know.

This is all to say- your sexual preferences do not and should not determine your dynamic in any way- so whatever you like in bed should not make you feel like you need to identify with some specific dynamic. You could be the most submissive bottom on earth and be an alpha and that would not be weird or "wrong" or "strange". I think just about any misce person could tell you this- anyone who understands that misce ISN'T "just an irl larp of omegaverse", at least.

This is a good opportunity for me to segway into the next part- misce is based on a LOT more than "just" the most stereotypical omegaverse roles. For a lot of people, being misce connects to other forms of non-human identity, whether that's being otherkin, therian, alterhuman, whatever. I'm not actually all that familiar with those things, as I've never bothered getting involved or familiar with said communities. I've never felt human either, but I struggle to figure out the specifics of it so I just don't bother- I'm content like this, and don't feel the need to label it or try to "pick a specific animal" or whatever. I'm happy being just... a being (lol) and that's enough for me.

About Misce- Deeply Nonhuman Humans;

a.k.a. there are two wolves inside of you...

...However, I recognize that with this part- me not really feeling like my misce self is connected to animal-type nonhumanity specifically, I am NOT in the majority.

I believe "miscecanis" and "miscelupus" were the first(?) terms that utilized the now-popularized term "misce" in them, and they specifically refer to canines (any, but often dogs) and wolves. Considering omegaverse itself is also based on that (proven to be unreliable/misinformed) study on wolf pack structures from ages ago, it makes sense that many misce folk would also identify with canine-adjacent creatures- I do too, I just dislike using those labels since that's nowhere near the most notable part of my own sense of non-human-ness. But I digress. A lot of misce folk, especially ones who identify with specific animals, have created their own labels to match the animals they identify most with- miscelapin, miscevulpes, miscefelis, etc. The catchall term for most misce folk, esp ones who feel that their "animal-identifying side" is strongly connected to being misce, tends to be misceanimalis.

Personally, I just say "misce" since a non-animal-attached term doesn't seem to exist at the moment and to me, being an omega isn't necessarily a non-human animal-identity thing at all- but that's just me and I don't think there's a "right" or "wrong" way to personally interpret and "be" misce.

All that being said, generally, the misce community tends to lean towards a more instinct-based social model, pack dynamics and emotional/non-verbal etc communication. I think that much is pretty obvious anyway. So, naturally, the dynamics themselves are often interpreted through that lens- "what's the 'pack role' of any given dynamic?"

Generally, everyone has their own interpretation of this, and that's totally alright- misce looks a bit different for every individual, and definitions are fluid enough that the answer you get depends on who you ask. Speaking of which...

About Misce- Dynamics;

a.k.a. this is the part where podcast bros get so confused

So, while I'm going to now list a few generic concepts/roles/tropes/traits that TEND TO be associated with specific dynamics, just know that it's completely fine to interpret them differently and come up with your own stuff for your own identity. Misce stuff is generally kind of vague and definitions depend on the person you ask anyway- Should you ask someone else to explain what kind of traits they associate most with various dynamics, you might get a different answer- what, in my eyes, is a "commonly omega trait" might be a beta trait in someone else's mind, and so on.

These summaries are based on my own personal experiences combined with speculation, and include a lot of generalization in places- if you identify as any of these dynamics and feel that my description of said dynamic is "off" or not accurate to your lived misce experience, please know that I'm not at ALL saying your experience isn't valid, or that your identity as that dynamic is being questioned. As stated before- everyone defines things differently, and there is no right or wrong way to define or BE misce.

Also: I'm going to go through both positive and negative traits for each dynamic based on my personal observations of patterns I've noticed. I WILL include a "worst case scenario" thing about each dynamic, just to illustrate how sometimes traits may manifest as genuinely bad/abusive behaviours. Every dynamic is capable of being abusive and toxic, and there is no specific dynamic that is "more likely to be abusive" than the others.

☽ ALPHAS • [ α ] ☾

"Providers, protectors, guardians and defenders, responsible for the pack staying safe, well and the members having their needs met."

Often, alphas are seen as the more physical/tangible providers, "mirroring" the more emotional/psychological form of nurture provided by omegas (more on that later). This DOES NOT mean Alphas are always "the breadwinners"- it takes many forms. That COULD be working to provide a stable income and housing, sure, but it's equally as possible for an alpha to prefer being a homemaker- making food for the pack, cleaning and organizing, etc can be just as much a form of "providing" as working for an income could be. The distinction here is that where omegas commonly tend to show their care in a more emotional and intangible way, Alphas are (often, not always) the ones who will buy their friends little trinkets and souvenirs that remind the alpha of them, cook up meals to provide and ensure the physical wellbeing of their closest ones, offer to help with menial tasks and so on. It's all about trying to ensure the people closest to them are well, and doing what they can to keep it that way.

Alphas often get a reputation for being protective over their loved ones, and while in fiction, esp omegaverse manhwa/manga/webtoons/etc this tends to get portrayed as "possessive toxic masculinity" type tropes (looking at you, 'Terminus', 'Kiss me, liar' and 'Night by the sea'...) this also has many forms, and isn't at all limited to Alphas only.

Alphas DO tend to feel very responsible/protective over their friends and/or pack though, more than other dynamics do- a sort of "hurt me, I don't care, but hurt my friends, you're dead" type attitude is quite common to alphas in my experience, at least as an omega observer. From what I can tell, Alphas derive a lot of pride and satisfaction from being able to support and lift up those closest to them, and while generally Alphas aren't fond of conflict any more than any other dynamic, they usually WILL go to bat for their friends/pack, argue to ensure their friends are taken seriously, stand up for them, and so on. From what I've seen, at times, it's the Alpha that feels more upset over someone being nasty to said alpha's friend, than the friend is themselves.

Alphas are generally seen as the ones who take care of the physical needs and safety of the pack- "safety" makes it sound like they're out there fighting wild beasts and evil spirits or something, which isn't really the case when you think "modern world", but the point is they often strive to ensure that everyone they love feels safe and comfortable around them, and that sources of stress/anxiety/worry are removed. This could take the form of helping a friend pay their rent when a friend is broke and the Alpha is able to pitch in, or it could be helping someone fill out job applications if they're finding it overwhelming to do alone, or helping a depressed friend clean and cook so that they're less stressed out and are able to recover without the additional stress of having to plan and think about food and nutrition. It could be giving massages to help someone relax, or it could be letting a friend come over just to sleep at their place when the friend is struggling to feel safe on their own.

Basically- some personality traits I've noticed many of my alpha- and alpha-coded friends tend to have, would be that they're generally very caring people who tend to put those most important to them first before themselves. Often Alphas will step in to shield others from injustice and/or perceived threats without hesitation- be that unfair treatment or a stranger being a little too friendly at the club. Alphas may or may not talk about their problems openly, but the ones who do tend to only talk about the problems and how to solve or overcome them, NOT how it has made them feel and if they're feeling alright, but when/if they DO talk about their feelings more honestly, it's basically always a huge sign of trust and closeness. A majority of my alpha friends tend to be either gift-givers who love showing appreciation in the form of presents or homemade food, OR they're silent providers, whose doors are always open (within reason) and will always be there to provide a place for their friends to crash at when said friends just need a break somewhere safe and comfortable. Often, they're both. (Shoutout to my closest irl friend who is very alpha-coded and keeps telling me I can just go to his place to sleep if I want to get away from either family or loneliness at home in a diff city lmao. I always feel like far too much of a burden so I never have, but I genuinely appreciate the offers so much)

Alphas, at least based on my humble observations, have some fairly commonly shared negative traits as well, such as being the type to run themselves to the ground to ensure others are well (especially emotionally- it's a stereotype that Alphas are bad at expressing emotion, but it's somewhat true that often Alphas will try to avoid their own struggles and emotions by constantly rushing to care and provide for others instead of sitting down to feel their emotions lmao). Alphas tend to overwork themselves for the sake of others, and overall share a "neglect self for the sake of others" thing that omegas also have, just. Different flavour.

Some alphas do also tend to have a bit of an ego at times, especially pertaining to things they excel at, and can indeed get jealous of their friends/pack-mates/partners/etc. Occasionally, this manifests as a form of entitlement, often based on the alpha feeling like they've sacrificed so much for the person that they feel like they "deserve something in return". In most cases, it's nothing outrageous- just time, effort, and acknowledgement of all the effort, though I find that sometimes alphas tend to expect others to be able to "read the Alpha's mind" and just figure out what the Alpha needs without ever communicating it out loud (this could be due to a fear of being too "demanding" or too "overbearing" which many Alphas I've known have struggled with, likely specifically because that's often how Alphas get stereotyped, leading to most Alphas trying hard to show they are NOT like the stereotype. I can imagine it's a struggle!).

At times, Alphas may be prone to being sort of control-freaks about certain things. This usually isn't an issue for most, but it sometimes shows through in their personalities as being frustrated if things aren't done "the way they like, when they like". There's various reasons- for some, it's because they're used to doing things one way and feel that it is the best way, for others, it's a feeling of "knowing best", and for some, it's a sense of wanting to have control over how things are done or hoe they happen, because not having that control causes anxiety.

On the darker side of things, some alphas may become genuinely possessive over people, often subconsciously feeling like they're entitled to and feel that they have "claimed" a person, and feel that they should be able to decide things for said person/people. When this happens, it's usually also coupled with some degree of idolization/objectification of whoever is the subject of these feelings, and the alpha may get excessively upset if the actual person doesn't completely match the "mental idealized version" in their head- this could happen for a number of reasons from something as simple as the person deciding to change something about their appearance, to having a personality that doesn't "match" the one the Alpha had "imagined". This can lead to issues with some Alphas being controlling and/or obsessive over everything, and may escalate to worse abuse based on a desire to "control" or "own". This kind of a thing is NOT exclusive to Alphas, anyone can be shitty, but this specific form of it is slightly more common with alphas specifically, over other forms of shitty/abusive patterns.

☽ OMEGAS • [ Ω ] ☾

"Emotional providers and nurturers, often take the role of maternal figures whether symbolically or literally. Caring and loving and very in tune with the emotional needs of those closest to them."

Omegas are often portrayed as more sensitive to pheromones than other dynamics, a.k.a. better at "reading people" and responding to the needs of others before they may even be consciously aware of said needs. Of course, IRL pheromones aren't a thing, but omegas are still very in-tune with the emotional states of others and as such, often, omegas can sense a conflict brewing even before it takes place, and prefer to avoid that if possible- they'd prefer to figure out what the cause of upset is, and address the feelings BEFORE they escalate. While the emotional hyper-awareness is useful in many situations, at times it instead results in excessive overthinking and stressing out over very mundane interactions.

The pack roles omegas are most often portrayed as having are usually things that concern the emotional wellbeing and social harmony of the pack, ensuring that its members are feeling cared for, seen&heard and understood, as well as being the "caretakers" for children/young members in the pack. Omegas are often great listeners, and will do so for hours. They're good at validating and echoing the feelings of others, and many omegas actually derive satisfaction from knowing they were able to help someone feel better- even when there wasn't anything to feel BAD about- just being able to offer emotional validation, comfort, or improve someone's mood tends to make omegas feel happy. In general, many Omegas are able to empathize very deeply, and tend to be good at "seeing things from the perspective of others".

Omegas are often portrayed as especially fond of children and having strong maternal instincts towards kids, both those of others, as well as their own. Stereotypically, omegas are portrayed as wanting children of their own (or, as some like to call them, pups), but this isn't really a "every omega ever" thing. This type of maternal instinct can present in MANY ways, and doesn't always even require children in the equation. Being a "chronically 'mom-friend' type person" can be one manifestation of that, for example, while in other cases, Omegas thrive in older sibling/uncle/etc roles, rather than parental ones.

Omegas are often portrayed as highly emotional/emotion-driven themselves, with a highly developed sense of empathy and compassion. This sometimes manifests as overthinking, anxiety, social exhaustion, hyper-empathy, being easily swayed by the reactions and/or feelings of others, a tendency to seek emotional approval and a likelihood to choose people-pleasing over their own wants and needs. While Alphas are more likely to neglect their emotional well-being, Omegas are somewhat an opposite, and tend to neglect taking proper physical care of themselves in favour of "being there" for someone else. Similarly, while Alphas tend to bottle up or brick-wall their emotions and instead keep physically busy, Omegas tend to retreat and isolate and neglect their bodies when feeling bad.

On the more dark side- which I feel is SO important to talk about as I rarely see people bring this up- Omegas, thanks to their high level of emotional intelligence, are also often very skilled at subtle but devastating emotional manipulation and even abuse. Omegas are great at playing the victim to gain sympathy or pity when it suits them, and are great at appealing to the emotions and feelings of other people to sway them- essentially, omegas tend to make for good liars and manipulators. Omegas are far more likely to utilize manipulation tactics, emotional abuse, self-victimization and mind games, than other dynamics- that isn't to say that alphas or betas are incapable of it, or that this is the ONLY way Omegas may be abusive, nor am I saying that every omega is abusive, obviously- but it's good to keep in mind, especially given the fact that certain medias love to portray omegas as "innocent pure uwu cinnamon rolls who can never do any harm".

☽ BETAS • [β] ☾

Let's be real for a moment and skip the quotation mark description I did for both Alphas and Omegas. There is a reason why I left Betas last, but it's not why you might think.

Both due to the fact that in SO MUCH of omegaverse fiction, Betas are simply nothing but an afterthought in a story about an a/o couple, as well as the fact that people have different ideas of things, a "widely accepted common portrayal of what a Beta is like" doesn't really exist. I feel that it's especially important to acknowledge this specifically because this means that people have VERY different headcanons for betas, both in terms of omegaverse, as well as in terms of what it means to be a beta. It WILL look a little different for every individual beta, likely far more so than it does for the other dynamics. The way I see it, there's both good and bad parts about this- the identity of a beta is less "restricted by" or "bound to" any specific traits or aspects, BUT at the same time, a lot of people may struggle with this as well, potentially feeling like they may not "fit in" or that their personal identity as a beta isn't "enough" or is "too strange". The misce community grows over time, mostly because people who were into omegaverse in fiction come across it and go, "wait, I can just be (dynamic)? Cool!" Which often leads to fundamental misunderstandings, and is an entirely different topic to begin with.

Anyway, what I am getting at is that the more "old school" misce blogs and folk, from what I TEND TO SEE, are far more open to all kinds of beta headcanons and interpretations, while the "new blood" coming in (which, hey, my blog isn't that old either, so)- tends to be people who see betas as "the normal people", basically equivalent to not even having a dynamic at all. So let's start there- let's lose that idea right away. Betas are NOT "no dynamic" or "neutral dynamic". Betas are Betas- and people who are NOT misce, and have NO dynamic identity, are the neutral/no-dynamic ones. Those people are not betas by default.

So, what ARE betas?

Short answer? You tell me.

Longer answer? It's largely up to individual interpretation.

Longest answer? ...

The way I have always seen this is that there are various interpretations of a "beta" and none of them are inherently wrong or right. If you're misce and you identify as a beta in the way they are most commonly depicted as being "the normal people of omegaverse", not having cycles (aside from menstrual ones for afab betas), not having specific traits/skills/etc, and just "being normal (in comparison to alphas and omegas)" then that's entirely valid and just as good as any other interpretation. What matter most is that YOU are happy, feel represented, and have a label you like.

However, if you identify differently as a beta- perhaps you DO have a cycle, whether that is a rut or a heat or a mixture of both, either or, or something completely different- that's also just as good- as long as you feel like yourself. (I didn't spend time talking about ruts and heats in the sections for alphas and omegas, since it's quite straightforward, but I may make a post on that at some point.) For now though- I DO actually believe I can think of at least some commonly shared beta-traits, similar to how I did for the previous sections. They may not apply to every interpretation of misce betas, but that's a given.

So, what traits are common to Betas, then?

In my experience, I find that many of my beta-coded or beta friends, they all share a certain energy that's hard for me to explain. Betas, in my eyes, seem very lively- not necessarily that they are "more energetic" or "happier" or anything, it's more like, they seem to be very "alive" in some strange way I cannot quite describe, but it makes me feel good by proxy. The way I see it, Betas, regardless of how introverted they are in terms of personality, are almost always incredibly easy to talk to, have really comforting presences, and overall make any friend group feel "complete" and "balanced".

This is actually something I noticed very strongly at Pride yesterday! A bunch of my friends are Betas, a good few are Alpha, and a couple are other Omegas (at least, in terms of how I tend to see them), and without fail, Betas always feel like the glue that makes the group feel complete. In MANY cases, they're the bridge between myself and people I've never even met, and their presence lifts everyone's spirits. Betas make groups feel like teams instead of a handful of individuals sharing a space.

Not only that- they're INSANELY resourceful and prepared. As soon as I mentioned my shoes were starting to chafe, two band-aids were IMMEDIATELY handed to me by one of my very beta-coded friends. If anyone is going to survive the apocalypse, I'm betting on the betas in a heartbeat. They're prepared, they know how to keep themselves AND their friends alive, they're good at organizing stuff and delegating tasks to the most appropriate people. Whoever thinks Alphas are at the top and rule the world are WRONG. It's Betas. It's always Betas. If they stopped existing, the world would grind to a halt in less than 12 hours, I'm calling it now. Betas get shit done and make it work, and not only that, they can gigure out what your strengths are, and can figure out which tasks you'd be best at. I'm 100% certain that almost every competent manager, strategist, advisor, expert, scout, spy, organizer, consultant, etc. Is always a Beta. If you want solid advice and good insights with anything practical, ask a Beta. They will either know the answer, or will point you to someone else who does.

From what I've observed, Betas are clever, resourceful, creative and innovative, good at planning ahead AND coming up with ideas on the fly. In terms of pack roles, it fully makes sense to me to view Betas as the leaders and practical thinkers who ensure things work. While Alphas may be the kind to defend the pack from external threats, the Betas are the ones who will help you avoid the threats in the first place. Omegas may be good at predicting and avoiding conflict and resolving feelings that may lead to internal disagreements, but Betas are the ones who will SOLVE conflicts, come up with compromises, and ensure nobody is treated unfairly.

And honestly, this is why I hope misce betas chime in! Please describe your experiences as Betas and of being a beta in misce communities, what it means to you and who you are, etc. In the notes? As I said many times- my observations only go so far.

About Misce- Personal Experience;

a.k.a. this is the part where I ramble even more.

So, I've talked about various stuff, and this is the second-to-last part. In the last part, I will try to provide my personal advice and takes, so skip there if my personal life experiences do not interest you at all. This part is just something I wanted to include, because while I've never personally really questioned my dynamic identity, I want to talk about things that COULD have made me question it, and why.

Omega.

I've always identified as one so strongly that I confidently named my blog "omegapheromone" and refer to myself online as "Gamie", a play on the word "Omega" itself, just rearranged and one letter off. I identified as an omega before I knew what misce was.

But, the people around me haven't been so confident about it.

I don't know if I'll have deleted that post by the time this one is finally done, or by the time you're reading this, whether that's the same day or a year or more from this post's date of posting- but I very recently shared a selfie, a face reveal of sorts. If it's deleted, let me describe myself in it: an androgynous/boyish person with pastel-coloured hair and clothes.

From that selfie, you wouldn't think it, especially with the angle and such- but I'm actually quite tall (167cm/5'5", almost 5'6" or so). Tall, and I have strangely broad shoulders and back for an AFAB person. I'm actually taller and often more "broad" than many of my friends, and in the past, when hanging out with friends, I've heard the "so are you the 'man' in the relationship" type comments when people have mistaken me and any of my friends for a couple. This is how people, even other queer people, tend to view me for some reason. It doesn't bother me TOO much these days, but it used to, and I still find myself wishing I was smaller, shorter, more "dainty" so that people would immediately think "oh, an omega", instead of assuming I'm an "alpha" (or in the case of real world, assuming I'm the assertive and sexually dominant type). I'd like it if people looked at me and, instead of feeling like I'm the type to care for and protect them, saw me as something they want to take care of and protect. It sounds incredibly cliché, but after living 20+ years with this being my experience (being seen as the type that protects ans dotes on others and whatnot), it's just something that's stuck with me. All my exes have approached me with the assumption that I was a dominant type, often also flat out thinking I was a cis dude (somehow, though I guess in the past my sense of fashion wasn't as "cutesy", and instead was more edgy). They weren't turned off by the fact that I flat out had to tell them, no, I'm very much a bottom and you cannot make me top for the life of me, trust me, it WILL NOT be good for either of us. I'd say "lucky me" but the most notable case turned out to be abusive and controlling, so I can't really say that, either. Of course, as I said above, sexual preferences have NOTHING to do with one's dynamic, for me it just happens to coincide that I'm an omega, a bottom, AND for some reason, have a very assertive/dominant aura despite not being either of those things, and as a result, to me, it feels like people are constantly just mistaking me for the "generic portrayal of an alpha".

As much as I complain about feeling dejected that I doubt I'll ever REALLY have the experience where "oh I want to dote on and protect him" is the other person's very first impression/thought, I've made peace with it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter so much- there's someone for everyone, or however the saying goes.

Still, it's interesting. For as long as I can remember, people have described me with words like "intimidating", saying that they've been afraid to approach because I look like I'm somehow either "too cool" for them, or "wouldn't want to talk" or whatever. Maybe I've built walls that are just too high after getting bullied as a child, or maybe my general detachment and aloofness have made me come across as cold and unwilling to make friends. It's not true though- I do genuinely enjoy meeting people and making friends. To an extent I'm aloof, and at times I will just disappear for a while before acting like no time passed at all, but that's not me trying to be distant on purpose at all.

Anyway, all of that is to say, I've never doubted my omega-ness. I've identified as one since I was a teen and read my first omegaverse fanfics. It's just something I've known. Sometimes I've wondered if I should TRY to force myself to be more of a top and pretend to be an Alpha, but the idea is just uncomfortable. I'd just be lying, both to myself and any potential partner having to experience it- and I don't like how lying to myself feels at all. It's like playing a character I hate, a mockery or parody of who I actually am, and it just makes me feel bad. I refuse to define myself based on the assumptions OTHER PEOPLE make about me, based on my height, build, "vibe" or anything else. If they make an assumption and are wrong about it, that's on THEM for making an assumption. I'm not going to cut my legs off just to be shorter, and I'm not going to strave myself (again) just to seem "dainty and fragile and weak and in need of protection" either. Fuck that, I have internal organ damage from that already, so no thanks, I'm not going to make that worse.

The Advice

the part where I actually answer the question asked.

Alright, so the question bears repeating since I've rambled so long it literally took an entire day to write this post;

Do I have any advice? Some. Most of it I've touched on already. Sit down with yourself openly and honestly, and question what your concepts are based on. Are you forcing yourself to fit a fictional stereotype thar was never meant to suit real life people to begin with, or do you ACTUALLY identify with something? Sit down with what your idea of misce as a whole is, and question what it means to you, what your place in it is, and take time to get familiar with various portrayals of all different kinds of dynamics, not just the most stereotypical ones. Domestic soft homemaker alphas, CEO boss dom omegas, betas who AREN'T just "normal guy in a world of alphas and omegas". Also even if you find a list of "traits that (dynamic xyz) has always!!!!", take your time to look at it. Are there alternative ways to interpret it? Can some traits show up differently? Does "protective" always mean "possessive"? Could it not mean "caring, concerned of their friends' wellbeing, the type to stay up until 4am to ensure a friend gets home safe and texts them, and if they don't, will physically drive over to check on them"? You get the idea.

"Because I'm a smaller person and more submissive?" - I already talked a Lot about this, but why are these things "inherently omega" traits in your mind, anon? Try saying this out loud: "Every omega is a small person, and every omega is always submissive, no matter what." If it feels uncomfortable to state that confidently as fact, then you likely never believed that yourself to begin with, but rather were telling yourself that you "have to be a certain way because you do not fit the stereotype of the OTHER things". You don't have to fit a mold. The molds are based on fiction anyway- you're you. What matters is how YOU feel, what YOU feel most comfortable with, and what label YOU vibe with the most. You don't have to force the identity of an omega onto yourself if you feel more like an alpha, just because you happen to be "smaller and more submissive". Yet again, sexual preferences don't dictate your dynamic at all either. If you feel more like an alpha, then that's all you need. There's no height requirement, this isn't an amusement park ride. There's no minimum muscle mass requirement, this is not a bodybuilder competition. There's no requirement to be dominant or a top or anything at all- that's not even what misce is about. You are you, and what you vibe with is the most important. If that means being a small and more submissive alpha, then congrats on presenting as an alpha!!! You are loved and accepted here!!! 💕

Love you, anon, I hope this helps even a little, and I hope you find what YOU are most comfortable with!

[desolatesekai]

WELCOME TO THE DESOLATE SEKAI ...

hey there, everyone ♪ welcome to a yet another prosekai edit blog!! there are a lot of them already, howeveeeer— my main priority for starting this blog is to have an archive for my own edits ★ i haven't done them in a long time and i wanted to start anew, so they might not be the best, but i'm doing it just for fun!! i don't have a main blog for the time being and i'm still figuring out tumblr again, but i hope we can get along well ww

if you like my edits, though, then you can look under the cut for more details about requesting and my dni criteria ★

any transparents that aren't the in-game transparents are gonna be by @/prsk2dmv-transparents and @/sekaitransparents!! will be crediting them whenever i use them, but if i ever forget then the credit is here ~

WHAT CAN I DO

icons: only square ones for now. these can contain either card icons (icon that is just a close-up of the card, optionally with some touch-ups), general icons (icon of a character on a certain background, mostly of a monochrome color) and pride icons (icon of a character on a pride flag, although i want to try making icons with disability flags as well). i won't do gif icons, though, or at least not for now ):

twitter layouts: a set containing an icon (please specify which one from the icons above) and a twitter header; the types of headers are general headers (containing the requested character/pairing on a certain background; works with pride flags as well), picture headers (headers that are a picture fitting the icon) and mixed headers (made from three pictures — two fitting the icon and one containing the character/pairing)

tba...!

WHAT I MIGHT DO

moodboards: either open ones (where every picture is separated) or closed ones (where everything is in one picture). if you choose a closed one, i will as well do two versions; one with only pictures used in the moodboard and one with a requested character/pairing on top of it.

stimboards: nothing to say in this one, just that i might deny the request when i won't be able to find good gifs. you can send me gifs you want to see in the stimboard, though

wallpapers: either phone or pc ones, specified size would be appreciated. similiar to icons, these can contain either card wallpapers (preferably only to be requested for phone wallpapers), general wallpapers and pride wallpapers. i might experiment with some of them, however!

tumblr layouts: not too confident in making these, but i might as well try. works the same way as twitter layouts, but the only header type is gonna be a general header

reply icons: also not too confident with these, but work the same way as normal icons. they're just uhh shaped like reply icons you know.

tba...!

i'm ok with doing any pairing that is not proship or toyasaki/toyakasa! i'll also think about adding more sources someday, but for now i just want to stick to prosekai ww

BEFORE YOU REQUEST

— i prefer simple edits over the overly aesthetic ones!

— please tell me directly if i do something wrong, eg. use a wrong flag! i can't correct myself if i don't know what i did wrong

— please, please use tonetags when needed! i'm autistic and i can't read the tone well, so i'd hate to get a request or an ask wrong because of it!

— i have full rights to deny a request! i won't do it much and i'll always state a reason to why i'm denying it, but i want you to be aware of this possibility

— i'll try my best to get the requests done quick, but i'm still a high schooler and i have my own personal life!

— feel free to ask about anything!

— the cards from revival my dream and island panic sets won't be edited, and it also goes to any possible racist sets in the future!

— dni if you fit the basic criteria, but also if you're a fetishist, colopale defender, sexualize minors, don't see mizuki as a canon transfem and/or use he/him on them and ship toyasaki/toyakasa or other canon found families!

— i'll add the alt text for all images in the future, but i have to learn how to properly write it first!

[simcardiac-arrested]

Im trying to do one of those iterator ask blogs, do you have any tips? Especially for getting it off the ground? Since I’m just kinda stumped about how to be interesting and reel people in, as I supposed to post at certain times? And what kind of things should I post if I haven’t gotten any questions. I’m sorry if these are kind of odd questions lol. And a lot in advance! :)

i swear i replied to an ask with askblog tips before but i cant find itttttttttt Falls to the ground. so i’ll just answer this as it is then (i managed to ramble for a bit so i put it under the cut)

umm. i wouldn’t say i exactly. have advice. for getting your blog off the ground. Because if you ask me how my own askblog got so much attention i would say I dont know . the only reason i even started it was because someone in the tags said i should and the concept of an askblog was appealing to me So i did that. and if you go to the very beginning of the blog you will see that most of the asks are just from my friends asking either silly or serious stuff. so i guess on that front my word of advice is just …. go to your friends. and be like Dude you will never believe what just happened to me (made an askblog) and let them get interested in it. just the same circle of friends can circulate the askblog long enough to attract new people. probably ?

i mean i guess the thing i also did was reblog the intro post to my main. once. and then never again. i reblogged asks sometimes if i liked them or if they were funny but i mostly kept my main blog stuff and askblog stuff separate (i suppose i did at that point have mostly rain world fans as my following so me reblogging it to my main maybe made them interested) you absolutely do not need to post at certain times. i mean…. you Can get a schedule if you wanttt. but like it’s literally fine i just answer asks whenever and ball

another thing about asks is that. Asks Produce Asks. so to speak. because everytime you answer an ask you get at least 3 more for it. so as long as you keep answering asks you’ll keep getting asks, though sometimes people will also send you stuff even if you havent answered in a month or something. But yeah i guess what im trying to say for this uhh …. if you don’t get any asks at first either try and get your friends to ask some questions. or if not that then maybe ask yourself stuff ….??? i dont knowww but like i said when ppl see an answered asks they get motivated to send an ask of their own. so

umm if you havent gotten any questions in a while you can just post. whatever. it’s your askblog. you can lorepost or you can just post silly images relating to your iterator oc The world is your oyster man

some more general advice is to draw asks however you want. you don’t have to fully polish and color all of them, you can just color certain ones or hell never color any asks, you can even not draw at all because i know some people reply with just in-character text. either way i promise you at least Someone will be interested so. good luck ? i hope that helped at least a little bit

[evildoombringer]

hi nakamura (i'm. not entirely sure which name you prefer to go by,,)

i. don't really know, personally, the depths of hurt that came from min leaving can't claim either. to understand what your going through right now

you both seem really close. it was always funny, to  read ur asks that you'd send i remember reading the "happy morning" one you sent and it had like this image of a smiling kid for some reason, for like a solid 5 months i just thought "oh cool, so that's what they look like:0" before i looked back and thought, "huh wait. they always added (very funny,  mind you) meme/pics to their asks. was that pic a meme too-?" and only then did i realize lmao

looking back on his responses, i can almost hear the amused tone or, however min would react. lol it was nice to see him talking to people who cared about him

im. not really sure what to say, without coming off as like.. pretentious.? but. if i can just assume for one second, from the asks they'd answer of yours, to everything i hear about min from all the people who know him, i. i. assume he really cared for you, and. i assume you cared for him as much.,

i dont. know your situation, at all. min had. already made up his mind when i even found his blog. so, just. i hope you'll be able to make a decision, you'll be. happy with

the future could get better. it could get worse i can't really see which one it'll be. i don't understand how close you and min were, at all but know. you arent alone im not sure, if you need to. understand or know someone to be there for them,but from the looks of it, min was. never really alone if he had you. so,i hope you also know your not alone there'are people here for you

im sorry. this is probably, meaningless to you in hindsight i just. yeah. in the end, whatever you choose is your decision but. your not alone im sorry if this comes off as assuming.  please. feel free to ignore this ask, if it oversteps in anyway or is just uncomfortable. i know sometimes one might just want- to vent and let it all out and the to have that acknowledged or responsded to might be. uncomfortable i. hope i didnt come off that way

but .yeah,

nice to. meet you by thw way. O(∩w∩)O (im sorry the kaomoji is so out of place jhsjsh i just remembered that one ask u sent hh)

hi custard

it hurts that he's gone, obviously, and i just haven't been on Tumblr for a minute, so seeing everything again is having a terrible effect on my psyche (ill live though haha). im just super weird about him and i realize that uhh nobody really knows that. but I'm super . . weird about him and uhhh yeah and um i regret everything lol

im surprised you thought i was a young chinese boy :sob: but. i understand how you could make that.... mistake.....

did you know the :smile: :sob: thing is a discord reference? :sob: is 😭 and :grimace: is 😬. if you're on a phone and u type the emoji out it should probably pop up, and the same thing happened on discord so he. um would do that when posting on Tumblr too out of habit, and i guess it eventually became a Min-Pal staple haha

and yeah he definitely cares about me, and im mad at him because he cares about me and left me his emails and shit to take care of and he did that because he knew im. weird and needed more than old messages and tumblr posts and i . m glad he did do all that and i love having some stuff to hold onto like his Spotify but. it's just upsetting i guess, since you know, id rather have him.

its really funny seeing how other people view him, to me, at least, i guess since i got to see not just him being bad-pathetic but him bad-bad in general (and I'm not going to explain further than this, as i, despite claiming to find it funny, am happier than not that he died with a t least a somewhat positive. Uh. Perception.)

idk I'm not like, a great persoj, and i did Just let him die instead of going to unimaginable lengths. and I regret that everyday, but he was so steadfast. he just didn't care anymore , and he had me to talk to but it was like he didn't care about trying (because once he decided he'd died, what really mattered past that?) Ssorry this is all so congested and contradictory and I make no sense

and, id love to believe you when you say stuff like "you're not alone" but it's terrible because I really am. like it's out of personal fault, but even the people I feel as though I could go to for help, I coukdnt bring myself to,, not when it's anything Too serious,, not to mention the fact I just got dumped because he said I was 'unhealthy' (after 10 months of reassuring me that its ok if I am cuz he'll help... but that's. A whole different thing and has nothing to do with min and I'm just bitter and bringing him up out of.... bitterness.)

and im glad u left the ask mikey i really am

idk it's just kinda sweet. now I feel more like angel and saki..... Auuuhhuhhh

i don't know what to do in any regard currently though so I think I'm just gonna continue mourning something that's been gone for a year now. Someone. and being bitter and upset, and reminiscing and trying his memory into music I like (and emailing my bf. [not considering him an ex] [email cuz he blocked my number] obsessively until he decides to take me back)

[colliewolf]

I posted 19,630 times in 2022

That's 11,076 more posts than 2021!

168 posts created (1%)

19,462 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@a-magical-boy

@noblegasxenon

@uwu-exe

@theboxfort

trainwreckgenerator (Not my mutual I don’t want to random tag)

I tagged 7,842 of my posts in 2022

#bb - 1,858 posts

#ew - 655 posts

#me tag - 485 posts

#ew tord - 345 posts

#funny - 309 posts

#hlvrai - 287 posts

#john tag - 285 posts

#bfg - 282 posts

#happy tag - 256 posts

#ew tom - 253 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#grabs you violentlu i adore rrcherrypie hello. sorry you made me think about them now i’m gonna go watch them again thank you my friend

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi!!! can you tell me more abt rpgworld? like overall plot, headcannons, anything really ! :DD

HIIE omg hi hello ok uhh

So rpgworld is really just. Like I’m kinda working on it with the thought in mind of an actual game, not just an eddsworld au-

The whole big story is the main 4 trying to stop this new evil force that’s been growing in power called the Red Wizard (they’re told about it by Tord who found a wanted poster, he seemed kinda unsettled by it for some reason)

It works out in chapters- going to different bases from the red wizards army and defeating the bosses there, freeing the village nearby and continuing their quest

They’re constantly pursued by 2 strong forces named Paul and Patryck who j. Basically just. They’re just team rocket. Jesse and James type beat.

I’m sure it’s incredibly easy to figure out but uh. Red wizard is also Tord. And Paul and Patryck are just working for him

He’s not evil straight up- or at all really, he’s just a silly guy who loves to invent, but through all his studies on magic gems and artifacts to use in his cool things he uh. Well let’s just say he got cursed

So about halfway into the game you lose tord as a party member- but you gain the help of Paul and Patryck! Reason why? They were fired. And also cause Tord’s their friend

The rest of the game is trying to find and destroy what’s corrupting Tord to save him from his EVIL WIZARD curse

That’s the basic plot JSHAHEHWHHEW

39 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#4

rpgworld is so so so so so cool please rant about anything from it

WAAA TY!!!!! I have a few doodles I don’t think I’ve posted- I’ll tell you a little bit about the story though-

Basically edd is a wannabe hero, and his friends just kinda have to go along with it (they live in his house. And are also his friends. They would rather he did not die fighting a dragon or smth)

So when the posters warning of the red wizard goes up, his 3 friends sigh and resign themselves to a few days of fighting- one more than the others, though he doesn’t quite realize it.

Most of the members of the red wizards court are just. In it for the money. They like the wizard enough? Like he’s chill, Paul, Pat, Yuu and Yanov are in it because they’re friends with the wizard.

Paul and Patryck are basicslly Jessie and James from team rocket, showing up to try and stop the main 4. Hint: eventually they join Edds Party in place of one of the og 4

Also I keep making the joke that ringos a rouge. Why? Funny: now have some of the og art I have of these mother fuckers

See the full post

60 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

#3

EVERYONE MAKE FUN OF SYNTH THHEY CANT POST DUMBASS GOT POST LIMITED

75 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

#2

I had to do this so I could have this image as a discord emote. Have a Pat for all your sitting needs smile

100 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

174 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vividaway]

Maybe instead of focusing on Joey and Daniel calling Gabbie out (which is their right. If Gabbie can call out them for what she perceives as bad working conditions, than they have every right to refute her claims), you and the rest of the stans should address the latest information about Bianca that has been brought to light as well as the fact that Gabbie stalked someone online who happened to be underaged.

PLEASE CONSIDER SIGNING TO MAKE BIANCA'S LAW REAL. https://www.change.org/p/bianca-s-law-stop-the-spread-of-violent-and-graphic-images-on-the-internet

BEFORE ALL OF THIS LET ME SAY: your use of Bianca Devins in this disgusting manipulative way is exactly that-- disgusting and manipulative. my twitter messages are open, so to not only track down my tumblr, but ANONYMOUSLY LEAVE A MESSAGE TRYING TO USE BIANCA'S NAME LIKE THIS? DIS-FUCKING-GUSTING.

___

Alright, here's a concept.

It's not Joey and Daniels place to refute Gabbie's claims. Their main point in all of this was "She never filled out the form! It's all her fault!" which is actually irrelevant to the story, seeing as she had told them PERSONALLY. in a FACE TO FACE INTERACTION.

the fact of the matter is, as the showrunner, and literal creator of the show, it is your responsibility to ensure the safety of ALL of your cast and crew. and yes, this does include the mental well-being (of the rest of the cast)--

-- and on that note, i also need to say that them not communicating to Gabbie that she were to be killed off, to me, is just unprofessional. it would have made filming a lot better. like honestly, do you think Gabbie would have been as pissed if she knew she wasn't going to be there again?

and another thing-- if Gabbie acted SO horribly, why did they stay her friend? Collab on her channel? if Gabbie acted SO BADLY during SEASON TWO... why did they invite her back? and if Tana was an issue, why invite HER back? I'm very glad that tana had a better time during season 4, but the fact that they knew BOTH OF THEM were bad on set, yet invited them back? they're literally setting up every other person around them for a toxic work-place experience. I've said it once and it's my next point, too, its un. pro. fessional.

ignoring all of that. literally every single piece of information i've stated above. THERE ARE TWO SOLE REASONS I STAND WITH GABBIE.

1. Joey and Daniel, no matter how horrible Gabbie may have acted, had no right to play out Gabbie's voice memo's where she was expressing that she was EXTREMELY UPSET. that she was dealing with multiple things in her life. They had NO right. Trisha Paytas, of all people, has even heard that voice memo enough to MOCK, AND MAKE FUN OF GABBIE'S EATING DISORDER, PUBLICLY, MULTIPLE TIMES, REFERENCING THE VOICE MEMO. to have the people you WORKED FOR, DO THAT? how could anyone in their cast ever trust them again? who's to say you wont send them a genuinely confidential voice memo, and they STILL decide to share it with people?

2. BECAUSE GABBIE'S MENTAL HEALTH ISNT A CRUTCH, IT ISNT AN EXCUSE, AND IT SURE AS HELL ISNT A JOKE. Gabbie Hanna was on the brink of suicide, she was struggling with an eating disorder, had undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD, was dealing with immense c-ptsd, and it is ALL. FUCKING. VALID.

for YEARS. I've been told to stop using my Bipolar as a crutch. that i was in therapy for it, and that i needed to use coping mechanisms. i was later diagnosed with BPD-- and suddenly i didn't need to cope anymore. my anger was suddenly understandable. people finally believed me.

you DO NOT. HAVE TO HAVE. A FUCKING GOD DAMN PERSONALITY DISORDER TO BE FUCKING BELIEVED.

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING?

my BPD WASN'T THE ISSUE.

IT WAS MY ADHD.

its literally wired into our brains, and WE. CANNOT. CONTROL. IT. the ONLY THING WE CAN DO, IS TREAT IT.

to continue to NOT LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY EXPRESSING THEIR LIMITS is the reason mental health is in its infancy today. we know when something is too much, and we know when our conditions are causing us to have outbursts, because its something we dont do EVERY SINGLE DAY. we need to realize that ALL. MENTAL. ILLNESSES. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

IS JUST AS IMPORTANT. JUST AS DIFFICULT. AND JUST AS UNIQUE, AS ANY OTHER MENTAL ILLNESS.

with the amount of genetical defects, the amount of nationalities that exist, the amount of co-morbidities, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. THAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM YOU? you GENUINELY expect there to be a person in the world with the EXACT SAME THOUGHT PROCESS, exact same conditions, exact same life circumstances, as me? as Gabbie? as YOU?

there is a reason people with mental illness have a common symptom, no matter the condition. that symptom is the thought that no one in the world can possibly have the same thought process as you. its the symptom that i essentially expressed a paragraph before this one. and its because we realize that THERE ISNT. that it isnt a symptom, but a fact, to us. because you cant thing the way i can. my brain will only ever process the way MY. BRAIN. PROCESSES.

that. is why i stand by Gabbie.

____________________________________________

So, the new information about Bianca Devins? Alright, lets talk about it.

Kim Devins, Bianca's mom, has called for all drama channels to apologize to Gabbie Hanna for the way they treated her in regards to her commenting on Bianca's shirts.

I know you want me to say that it turns out Gabbie is actually manipulating the mother, and Gabbie actually WAS exploiting Bianca---

NO.

KIM DEVINS IS A GROWN WOMAN. KIM DEVINS HAS SAID PUBLICLY, ON HER OWN, PUBLIC TWITTER ACCOUNT, THAT GABBIE HANNA DESERVES AN APOLOGY. KIM DEVINS HAS STATED THAT EVERYTHING GABBIE HAS SAID WAS IN FACT-- THE TRUTH. TO SAY GABBIE IS LYING, IS TO SAY THE MOTHER IS LYING, AS THE MOTHER HAS NOT ONLY APPROVED OF, BUT ENDORSED THE VIDEO.

i know i linked this before everything, but if you haven't already, PLEASE. FUCKING. SIGN.

https://www.change.org/p/bianca-s-law-stop-the-spread-of-violent-and-graphic-images-on-the-internet

_____________________________________________

Yeah uhh..so first off, Gabbie never doxxed ANYONE. as someone who's had their literal home IP leaked-- you shouldn't just throw that term around lightly. its genuinely traumatic for people to be doxxed.

Gabbie did however, grab the IP of someone. she did this, because she was worried it was someone SHE FULLY KNEW, was a danger to minors.

Second off, this was talked about quite awhile ago, in april or may-- she actually did that WELL OVER a year ago. we only know because she talked about it on Marco Polo (an app where you can group video chat and text. it was a perk of one of the tiers of her patreon) and it was leaked recently. so i don't really get your point in that.

Gabbie only did that because of all the minor fans that people were SCREAMING for Gabbie to protect last summer. They blamed Gabbie for certain fans that were getting bullies by anti's, all because Gabbie herself didn't tell people not to. so OF FUCKING COURSE she is going to do anything she can to protect her fans if she FULLY KNOWS a PROPER P*DO is trying to imitate a fan account, and she thinks she found it.

When the IP didn't match with where she knew the gross ass guy lived, she completely discarded it. Honestly, if you're upset with this, you might at well be upset with THIS, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaJqBug10MQ

--------------------------------------------------------

ALL OF THIS TO SAY:

THIS IS A THOMAS SANDERS BLOG

PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GABBIE HANNA.

[collgeruledzebra]

tagged by @curiousserpent many thanks!!

1. why did you choose your url?

pun :) i had it picked out ages before i actually got this account

2. any sideblogs?

several-- @sousa-march-gone-demented is my tma blog (now mostly defunct), @cauldron-burn-and-fire-bubble is my art blog, @frankensteinthecollegedropout is where i liveblog gothic lit books, @draftsdump is where i used to put random drafts until I figured out the queue function, and @wtnv-comments is where I post comments on youtube wtnv episodes for the enrichment of those who listen on spotify

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since june 2019

4. have a queue tag?

q

5. what did you join for?

mostly because i knew it was The fandom social media, also good omens since that was what i was particularly into at the time

6. why did you choose your icon?

i went to the farmer's market a day or two after i joined here and thought that bottle of Seasoning was funny and unique enough (I doubt I'll ever change it)

7. why did you choose your header?

i like birds a lot :) took the picture at a wildlife sanctuary in FL, they had so many vultures just hanging out and i thought that was cool. also it's a pretty striking image imo lots of contrast

8. how many mutuals?

uhh like... half a dozen? maybe? depends on your definition if it's just following each other definitely more but people I'm actually friends with is six or seven

9. how many followers?

266

10. how many following?

397

11. ever made a shitpost?

if this means a funny and somewhat nonsensical post yes :) if this means a post that blew up for no apparent reason also yes :/

12. how often do you use tumblr?

more often than i should

13. ever had a fight/argument with another blog?

nah

14. how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

don't like em.. i usually don't reblog because i don't want to pass on the guilt trip to my followers

15. how do you feel about tag games?

:)

16. how do you feel about ask games?

very excellent

17. which mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

um... idk i know a few are well known in certain circles but i don't think any are famous throughout tumblr

18. do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

romantic? no. platonic? yeah. let's go to the creek and look for cool rocks. i'll bring pretzels.

tagging: @ghosttown-mp3 @kat-in-books @solareidolon @corvidayyy @chiiquitita @snookeroo @butttteeerrrrrr

[cat-in-a-fedora]

Reunion Falls

I think I found something for the reunion falls au of Gravity Falls on the original creator’s blog. The reblog and like functionalities weren’t working for some reason, and I couldn’t find it in the creator’s archive. I really like this, though, so I’m gonna put it here and give credit.

This was originally on @sailorleo, and I couldn’t reblog it for some reason.

`-i dunno, he’s like, really weirdly clingy, but when we’re together all he wants to do is talk about his band…

-dump him.

-dipper that’s the same advice you’ve given me for every boyfriend i’ve ever had

-then why don’t you ask mabel?

-fine, maybe i will. mabel, what do you-

-no actually i think dipper’s right you should dump him

-teen soos playing with baby dipper and getting all excited when he says his name

-it would work better if stan actually knew mabel was coming beforehand, but just couldn’t work up the nerve to tell dipper until the last minute. by some fluke, mabel arrives a day early, and makes contact with dipper while stan is out.

-stan tells dipper that at the time of his birth his parents weren’t expecting twins, and couldn’t afford to take care of two children at once. he only told the kid they were dead because he thought it might be easier to handle than the idea that his parents didn’t want him.

–

-what are you still doing up?

-’m makin’ a sweater for grenda. she’s bigger than me, so it’s taking longer. you had a nightmare?

-no big deal, it was just an anxiety dream.

-a what?

-it’s like a nightmare, but instead of being scary it just makes all your deepest insecurities a reality. grunkle stan says they’re the brain’s way of reminding you that life could always be worse.

-…that sounds dumb.

-yeah, well, life isn’t fair, mabel.

–

-that corduroy girl out sick today or somethin’?

-what? um, no! i was just, uh… i tripped. on a rock. a lot of rocks.

-oh c'mon, kid, you think i never got the snot kicked outta me in elementary school? i know a fist to the face when i see it. c'mere, let’s fix you up.

–

-what can i do, though? they’re all bigger than me, and if i tell the teacher i’ll just look like even more of a wimp.

-ha! if you don’t wanna look like a wimp, you should stop letting other people fight your battles for ya.

-but i can’t-

-now hold on. i know you can’t, you’ve got about as many muscles as a soggy piece of toast. but one thing i know about the world is that guys who were born bigger, stronger, and smarter are always gonna punch down. and guys like you an’ me are stuck right at the bottom like old gum. so if your wits can’t save ya, all there is to do is punch back up.

-….do you mean that metaphorically, or….

-i was wondering when i’d have to dig these old things up again! …see, kid, all I’m trying to say is, when the world fights, you gotta learn to fight back.

–

-oh, shit. we’re not getting anywhere like this.

-*gasp* dipper!!

-what??

-you just said the ’s’ word!

-so? we’re practically teenagers, mabel. we can swear.

-i have friends back home who won’t even say ‘crap’! you must be getting it from somewhere

-i don’t know what you-

-[wendy enters] AYYYYYY DICKWEEDS WHAT’S FUCKIN HAPPENING

–

-ugh, sorry about all that, man. i don’t know why robbie’s always such an asshole to you.

-you don’t think he’s like…..jealous of me, do you?

-HA! ohhhhh my god. oh my god you’re probably right.

-what, does he think I’m gonna like, steal you away? like he’s INTIMIDATED by me? …that feels kinda good, actually.

-oh man, can you imagine? dipper pines, casanova extraordinaire! refined older women such as myself just….COLLAPSING at your feet!

–

-grunkle stan, um…. where are my parents?

-uhh……….. they died.

-oh…. how did they die?

-they………………died.

–

-you know when you’re wearing just the vest without a sweater you kinda look like……. someone. it’ll come to me

–

-mabel, what did you do to the journal????

-what? you told me to pretend it was my diary!

-i said to PRETEND it was your diary, not actually use it as a diary!! you didn’t mess with the stuff inside, did you?

[cut to: a shot of the interior of the journal, filled with stickers and cute little drawings and tiny diary entries about boys and the like]

-…….nnnnnnnope.

–

-if you’re going to be a monster hunter, you’ve got to have a look.

-hey, i’ve already got THAT covered

-no, i mean a look that tells people you mean business. like what i’ve got!

-what’s more businesslike than a leopard wearing sunglasses?

-i can think of a few things. what about like, a jacket? or…. a jacket? something besides a big fluffy sweater.

-listen dip, we’ve only known each other for a few days so i’ll let you off the hook this time. but first rule of mabel? the sweater STAYS.

-ugh, fine, but you’re gonna overheat. hey, what about this? it’s big enough to wear over a sweater. and it’s got pockets!

-but does it have PERSONALITY?

-you can decorate it or whatever i don’t care.

–

-mabel, have you seen my gel?

-nope. why do you gel your hair, anyway?

-i don’t want my bangs to cover my birthmark.

-can’t you just cut them off?

-it’s part of the look.

-ohhh, the 'look’.

–

-soooooo dipper had a crush on you, huh?

-haha, yuuuuuup. he thought he was being super smooth about it too. 100% convinced i had no idea. oh shit, dude, you wanna see this valentines card he made me when he was like, seven?

-you KNOW i do!

-boom! check it. all the blackmail you’ll ever need on one piece of construction paper.

-oh my gosshhhhhhhhh…..wait,  "love, ty"?

-oh yeah, ol’ dipstick used to go by 'tyrone’ before he was dipper. just between you and me, dipper suits him better. tyrone is too cool for him.

-why’d he switch?

-dunno, really. he used to hate his birthmark, people would make fun of him for it, yknow? and then one day he just started being super cool with it. he like, reinvented his entire image around the thing. you should’ve seen him before that though, always brushing his bangs down over his forehead… well, at least he puts some effort into his appearance now.

–

-FUCK!

-KID!

-oh no.

-where’d you learn language like that?

-i… uh….

–…..wasn’t from me, was it?

-n-no! it was from…. nobody! i mean, you hear stuff around, and-

-WAHAHA! this is great! now i don’t have to keep my mouth shut around ya! and it isn’t even my fault!

–

-mabel, take out the trash

-booooooo!

-…aren’t you going to do what he said?

-sure, just as soon as i finish kicking dipper’s butt!

-i will dance on your grave, mabel.

-but…he’s your uncle. you should listen to him before he gets mad, right?

-pff, what’s ol’ stan gonna do, throw his dentures at me? (don’t tempt me, kid) half the fun of being a kid is not doing what adults tell you to do! consequences be darned.

-…paz, really, stan loves us. he’s not gonna like, hit me or anything. yikes.

–

-dipper, seriously, what the heck happened between you and gideon!

-i told you, nothing! he’s just a creep.

-oh, is THAT why he won’t stop talking about you? even on our dates! it’s WEIRD. ….you two aren’t like, exes or-

-ew, no!

-haHA! you dated gideon! gideon and dip-per sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-

-we were FRIENDS, okay?? …sort of. i dunno. it was a long time ago.

-heyoooo my drama senses are tingling! now you HAVE to tell me! deets deets deets!

-uuugggghhhhhh fine

-dipper and gideon have been rivals since childhood, but back then it was on somewhat friendlier terms. they would get each other in trouble, start fights over nothing, ruin each other’s stuff, but they would always walk away with smiles on their faces, like an unspoken pact to annoy the shit out of each other forever. but things started to change after gideon found journal 2. dipper didn’t see him around with the other kids as often. his tactics got nastier. he started “winning” more often. things came to a head after stan started teaching dipper to box. one day when dipper and wendy were hanging out together, they ran into gideon, who took the opportunity to tease them mercilessly. when he started going after wendy, dipper socked him, hard, in the nose. “i dunno. i was really mad, but i think i also just wanted to prove i was strong. wendy was always protecting me, so i wanted to protect her back.” after that point, gideon declared them mortal enemies.

-stan and wendy were definitely elated at the fact that dipper punched gideon. stan probably tried to bake him a cake.

–

DOUBLE DIPPER

“BAM! look out party, this girl’s on a mission! and that mission is to find a summer getaway friend group. woah, huddling crowd of teenagers! that’s perfect!”

-paz is talking with everyone listening when mabel interrupts her. “heyo! guess who’s here, it’s mabel, and that’s me.” “…..that’s great, sweetheart.”

-mabel is really excited to make new friends at the party, but most everyone starts hanging around pacifica. mabel tries to make friends with pacifica but paz rejects her, saying “listen, youre new so i’ll fill you in. it might seem like people like you and are interested in you because youre 'quirky’ or whatever, but you’re just a cheap novelty. around here? i’m the one who matters. nobody ignores pacifica northwest. adoring fans?” paz snaps her fingers and the crowd begins to shove mabel out of the circle until she finally falls on the empty dance floor. defeated, mabel shuffles off to the only people not part of the crowd (candy and grenda) “you too, huh?” “don’t worry. when we burn, we burn together.” paz then steps up to the mic and points at them, shouting “hey everyone, check out this adorable new attraction! it’s the reject corner!”

“aww, we don’t need this. the true merit of a partymaster is knowing how to take the party with you. this calls for an impromptu sleepover!”

-mabel offers to cheer up her new friends by ditching the party and having a sleepover instead, candy remarks that they were planning a post-party sleepover together anyway, grenda says how she stole a raunchy romance novel from her mom- wolfman bare-chest. grenda shows off that the book has a full-color illustration of gerard, candy remarks how she wants one of her own, mabel remembers that they have an old copy machine downstairs.

-“i don’t understand. i’m having fun, but i still feel this burning desire to go back downstairs and make her suffer for her crimes. crimes against friendship and partying.” “hey, i know what’ll curb that thirst for vengeance! theft! look what i stole from my mom’s bedside table!” “grenda, you wild girl! this is perfect!” “and it comes with a full-color illustration! his pecs are holographic!” *all three girls scream* “aah!! he is so rugged and brooding, i want to take him home with me and make him my trophy husband!” “ooh, i think we have an old copy machine downstairs! that way we can all keep the poster! come on girls, let’s go make our dreams a reality!”

-the girls end up bringing gerard to life because fuck the laws of reality, he emerges and says “which of you fair maidens brought me into this realm?” candy points to mabel. “girls, i think the party is back on!”

-“hey, fursuit, i don’t know if anyone told you, but this isn’t a costume party. although that would explain YOUR outfit, mabel”, gerard gets angry and tries to defend her by attacking pacifica. pacifica gets a small scratch on her arm and shrieks “are those REAL claws?!” mabel and candy struggle with gerard and finally subdue him (after he loses an arm to the punch bowl) by stuffing him into a closet. “you can come out after you learn to stop being such a butt!!” candy makes some remark about “at least we didn’t make any more!” cut to grenda either using the copy machine or already surrounded by wolf men.

-after the gerard squad starts running wild at the party, mabel gets an idea. “grenda, they’ve already like, werewolf-bonded to you, right? so if you’re in danger, they’ll come and save you!” “..i know what i have to do. hey northwest, be mean to me!” “ok, ok, just… give me a minute. ….hey circus freak, you’ve got arms like a gorilla and a voice like a wrestler, so it’s no wonder that the only boys interested in you are a bunch of wolves!” “…..pacifica, that was really mean.” “YOU TOLD ME TO!!!”

-maybe have pacifica get on the mic again so all the wolves hear her insult

-“grenda I’m sorry you have the body of an amazonian goddess and a voice like ten angels singing one direction!!” “yeah, maybe if one direction were all chain smokers.”

-the girls use this plan to lure the wolfpack into the kitchen, where there’s a sprinkler system connected to the fire alarm. the plan is that once all of the wolves are present, mabel will signal for candy to pull the alarm. however, once mabel gives the signal, it’s revealed that candy has been captured. “i’m sorry, mabel…. their pecs were just so shiny!” “i’m sorry i dragged you into this, pacifica.” “yeah, i’m sorry you dragged me into this, too.” maybe have them cowering on top of the fridge. but just when it looks like all hope is lost, the sprinklers come on anyway. it’s revealed that the first gerard was the one who pulled it, sacrificing himself to save mabel’s life.

-“you will always be in my heart, mabel pines. and i hope…..that i will be in yours…..”

-“well, pacifica, maybe now that we’ve worked together as a team, we can come away from this knowing that our fighting was petty and pointless, having gained a mutual respect.” “are you SERIOUS? all this proves is that you’re a freak, and your friends are freaks, and even though I’m gonna make sure to stay as far away from your little circle of lost causes as possible, the next time we meet? you’re going DOWN, and I’m gonna make sure EVERYONE is watching.” “……welp! i didn’t gain anything from that! maybe next time.”

-“i’m sorry that all this happened, girls. if you don’t wanna hang out with me after this, i get it.” “are you kidding? that was incredible!” “i feel like my heart is on fire! but in a good way!”

-in the aftermath, the girls (sans pacifica) burn the book. as they watch the illustration of gerard smolder, mabel solemnly says “this ends once and for all.” “….my mom’s gonna want that book back.” “once. and. for all.”

IRRATIONAL TREASURE

-pacifica overhears what the twins are trying to do and tails them, then ends up getting captured along with them

-LET ME OUT OF HERE! I AM A NORTHWEST!

-i thought we just established that doesn’t count for anything anymore.

-pacifica yells at mabel for doing something as stupid as leaving a trail of candy wrappers, dipper interrupts to ask her why she always feels the need to shut people down like that. pacifica tells him that its her duty as a woman of status to let everyone know what their place is. “orrrrrr you just feel so threatened by the idea that you’re not as well-liked as you think you are that you need to make everyone else feel bad about themselves.” “WHAT was that?” “threatened?”

-mabel gets her nerve back and yells at pacifica that why would she ever want to be liked by a stuck-up shallow primadonna like her, and throws a hunk of peanut brittle at her, freeing trembly.

-after returning to town, the twins see pacifica being berated by her parents for disappearing and getting her clothes dirty. mabel feels sorry for her and goes over to explain that oh, it was actually my fault, i was trying to uncover dirt on the northwest family and pacifica stepped up to intervene, and we got into a fight. also we totally didnt find anything to shame the northwests so you can thank pacifica for that too. the northwests then threaten to sue the pines family for hurting their daughter, but paz holds them back, saying something about how it isnt worth it to waste time on poor people like mabel.

-this is the start of mabel and pacifica’s budding friendship, and pacifica’s redemption arc

SUMMERWEEN

-hey, little man!

-oh, hey wendy! ….and robbie.

-so….. chilling in the bushes without a costume on? what’s that about?

-nah, i’d say he’s got a pretty solid 'loser’ costume lined up already.

-i’m just hanging out with mabel and her friends, i guess. this big legendary monster thing says its gonna eat us unless we collect 500 pieces of candy but y'know. no worries.

-sick, dude. and you didn’t even have to go out and find this thing yourself? your sis must be like, a monster magnet.

-yeah, she…really is.

-well, i’d help you with the mission if i could, but i’ve got this whole 'aloof teenager’ thing to keep up, yknow? no trick-or-treating for these old bones. but I’ve got a few extra sweets in my purse if you need some more handouts! we can go find mabel, and-

-NO! i-i mean… no, don’t find her, its ok, i got it, give it to me.

-woah, chill out, you little freak! you’re not HIDING from her, are you? …is everything ok? and don’t say it is, because nobody sweats that much when everything’s ok. not even you.

-……i dunno, it’s like, i don’t mind having her around, but we’re always together and she wants us to do all these “twin” things now and I’m just not sure I’m ready for it yet.

-yeah, i getcha. its gotta be a lot to take in. hey, if you need somewhere to decompress after this whole candy deathmatch thing is over, tambry’s throwing a party at her house in a few. text me when you’re free?

-just try not to dork up the place if you show.

-robbie, if you don’t lay off I’m gonna punch you in the dick.

-i just….. twins are supposed to have this special bond, y'know? like a mind meld or something. and i just feel like i’ve missed so much. things could've….should’ve been different. and i came here because i wanted to make things the way they were supposed to be. i thought like, maybe if we were together we could pretend that its the way things always were and everything was ok. but i cant. its not.

-yeah, i… i’m sorry, mabel. everything just happened so fast, and i couldn’t handle it, and i avoided thinking about it, and….i ended up avoiding you, too. i’ve been kind of a crummy brother so far, huh?

-no, no, i get it…. i’m weird, and this is weird, and you’re one of those weird people who likes to be by yourself. and i understand if you don’t want to be siblings. but… can we at least be friends?

-i don’t see why we can’t be both.

TOURIST TRAPPED

-hey, mabel, i was wondering, uh…… how did our parents die?

-woah, what? they’re not dead! are they?? you’re freaking me out, dipper!

-'sup, hambone?

-oh, hey….. soos, right?

-you got it, lil’ dude! so, what’s eating you? besides the mosquitos anyway. nice, good one soos.

-soos, have you ever tried to do something that you thought would make everyone really happy, but instead it just blows up in your face and everything is awful and it’s all your fault?

-story of my life, dude. probably not on this scale though. just a minor everyday occurrence.

-they probably hate me, don’t they?

-what? no way! i just met you a few hours ago and i can already tell you’re like the least hateable dude I’ve ever met. you’re like if they found a way to combine a smiling puppy with an anime fairy princess.

-but i ruined everything!! that’s what they’ll call me in the history books. mabel, queen of ruining everything. everyone was fine until i got here.

-it’s not your fault, dude. mr. pines had to tell dipper at some point. and dude, if it makes you feel any better, i am PSYCHED to have you here. i was telling customers about it all day!

-thanks, soos, but…. i should probably just go home. maybe if I’m gone dipper and stan can just forget this ever happened and go back to normal.

-you kidding, dog? nothing’s ever normal around here. i know this is like, a huge bombshell, but dipper and stan love each other. they’ll work it out. …hey, my brain just came up with a totally neato idea! why don’t we pitch a tent and have a sleepover out here under the stars? we could swap stories, eat raw marshmallows, and if you still want to go home tomorrow morning you can.

-….only if you’ll try to throw the marshmallows into my mouth with your eyes closed.

-deal.

-hey, mom. yeah i got here ok! it’s great, the woods around here are so cool and mysterious! oh, and i met this really cute guy but he turned out to be a bunch of gnomes under a hoodie. i know!! wild, right!

-h-hey mabel….can i….talk to them?

-…oh, mom, dipper wants to talk to you. is that ok?

-….hi, mo- ..mrs pines. it’s dipper.

-“oh, you must be the friend mabel was talking about! she was so excited to meet you! i hope you two are having fun!”

-yeah, it's…. it’s good to have her here.

-“are you all right, dear? you’re sniffling.”

-yeah, i’ve just got a cold. it’s ok.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE MABEL

-mabel sees a commercial for the tent of telepathy on tv and gets excited, pulling dipper over to see the famous “psychic”. dipper is annoyed at best and just groans, expositing that he and gideon have been rivals since they were little. he says he’s been trying to catch gideon in the act of something, ANYTHING, for as long as he can remember, and now with the help of mabel’s journal he’s devised a new theory: that gideon might actually be a vampire! he’s always coated in lotion, has stark white hair, speaks like an old southern man, and it might also explain his psychic powers. but dipper isn’t allowed in the tent of telepathy anymore, and he hasn’t been able to get close to gideon in his personal life. mabel offers to go investigate in dipper’s place, but he warns her that it’s not worth it and gideon is a “creep”, offhandedly mentioning that mabel probably doesn’t have the investigative skills necessary to crack the case on her own. determined to prove herself, mabel goes anyway, in “disguise” as a journalist so she can ask gideon questions when the show is over. during the questioning gideon becomes enamored with her, and when mabel asks if he’s a vampire he flirts around the issue, suggesting that he is simply to win mabel over. it works, and she agrees to go on a date with him.

-mabel takes notes on gideon’s mannerisms in the journal while on dates

-over time, gideon begins to reveal his true colors, and mabel realizes that dating a supposed vampire doesn’t really make up for gideon’s behavior.

-actually i changed my mind about the vampire plot, probably dipper just tries to keep mabel away from gideon because of their checkered past together

BOYZ CRAZY

“….can i confess something?”

“yeah, of course.”

“I’ve never like….. LIKED anyone. I’ve dated plenty of guys, and even a couple girls, but i don’t think i felt what i was supposed to be feeling for any of them. i thought that eventually if i went out with enough people, i would start to like at least one of them, but…. i dunno. I’m starting to think that i’ll never fall in love. maybe i CANT fall in love.”

“well… that’s not the end of the world! love kinda. sucks. especially when someone doesn’t like you back.”

“ugh, that’s what I’ve been doing to all these people! for years! i suck. i keep trying to be like everyone else, but i just end up pushing people away. I’ve lost so many friends…”

“hey, it’s not your fault. robbie’s a turd, you know that.”

“yeah, i guess you’re right… i dunno, you ever feel like there’s something, like, fundamentally wrong with you? like something fucked up in the womb and now you can’t ever be a normal person?”

[dipper pulls up his shirt slightly, looking at his binder]

“yeah. i do”

DREAMSCAPERERS

bill: I WAS WONDERING WHEN I’D RUN INTO YOU! QUESTION MARK, SHOOTING STAR…. AND DIPPER OF COURSE!

mabel: whoa, hey, how come soos and i get special names, but not dipper? that’s not fair!

dipper: uh, mabel, that’s not really-

bill: THAT IS HIS SPECIAL NAME, KID! ALWAYS HAS BEEN. HE JUST ADOPTED IT A LITTLE EARLY IS ALL.

dipper: wait, what?. you…you were the one in my dreams? all this time, it was YOU?

-new scene-

dipper: it’s just… the name was a big part of my like, identity, yknow? i thought it was so cool and special and for the first time in my life i was starting to feel NOT like a freak. i thought i was being cool but i was just doing exactly what bill wanted! [pulls his jacket over his head] aaaargh, what have i been doing all this time?!

mabel: di- …..bro, listen to me. your whole like, supreme tough guy monster hunter thing? it’s PRETTY silly. but that’s what i like about it! it’s all you, and you own it! and nobody chose to make you like that but you! and you didnt choose the name dipper because bill told you to, right? that was still all you. so, i don’t know. even if the guy who made it up turned out to be kiiiiiiind of a major jerk i dont think that means all of that is ruined forever. and if you stop going by dipper i’m going to have to start going by shooting star as revenge. star for short!

dipper: ….i think i like you as mabel better.

mabel: aww no, i was already getting used to it! star sounds like the name of a princess, doesnt it? or a galactic warrior!

-BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR GEL-COVERED LITTLE HEAD, KID! I WON’T BE BOTHERING YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN. YOU’VE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING AND USELESS. CONGRATS.

SCARY-OKE

-in this case obviously dipper wouldn’t want the agents around, since stan has taught him better than that.

-dipper decides that he’s finally ready to talk to his birth parents over the phone, but when he does they insist that they never had twins and mabel has always been an only child, and he realizes they don’t know who he is. everything he knows is once again called into question.

-mabel tries to get the agents’ help in figuring out the mystery behind dipper’s birth and proving that the two of them are siblings

-maybe dipper raises the dead as a way to threaten stan? like, oh you’re so afraid of the supernatural, what if i do this

-or mabel tries to lure the agents back to the shack by creating a supernatural disaster, like oh, say, zombies

-stan finally admits, with zombies breaking down the door, that he got mixed up with the supernatural and made some very bad decisions, although he isn’t specific about what happened. he relinquishes that he kept the truth from dipper all these years not for his sake, but because he couldn’t bear to admit that he was responsible for separating dipper from the family he should’ve grown up with.

THE GOLF WAR

-mabel and pacifica run into each other at the mini golf course, and after watching mabel sink the winning shot pacifica realizes she has feelings for her. furious with herself for developing a crush on somebody like mabel, pacifica challenges her to a rematch and vows to destroy her.

-dipper and stan are worried about pacifica’s behavior, but mabel assures them that she probably just wants a little one-on-one game and had to disguise it as a fight to the death since her parents were with her.

-pacifica gets to the golf course early to get some extra practice in, discovers the lilliputtians, and decides to use them to win against mabel, convinced that if she proves to herself that she’s better then her crush will go away.

-mabel becomes concerned with pacifica’s attitude and worried that she’s gone back to her old ways, bribing somebody to help her cheat. eventually she’s captured and tied up, and pacifica has to save her.

-in the aftermath, pacifica can’t stomach apologizing, so mabel does it for her. “hold on, dip. i think i know what’s going on here.” “what? no. you definitely don’t. whatever you’re about to say about me is completely and totally wrong.” “so i just want to let you know, pacifica…. it’s ok. i understand.” “understand what there’s nothing to understand” “yes there is! and i’ve felt that way before, too. even about you sometimes.” “wh…..huh? you have?” “yeah! all that pressure to compete really gets to you sometimes. but just because i beat you at something it doesn’t mean that you’re any less cool than you were before., ok? so i don’t want you to feel like you have to prove that!” “oh. yeah. yeah, that. yeah.” [awkward pause] “soooo…. you don’t hate me?” “of course not!” “ok good. that’s like, good to know. i don’t hate you either.”

-theyre playing truth or dare and mabel dares dipper to hold candy’s hand for the rest of the night

-mabifica bullshit: 'let me see those beautiful eyes’, holding hands post-confession in nmm, arguing about whether or not to run off into the woods together at night

THE LOVE GOD

-during a conversation with wendy, dipper casually mentions that he’d like a girlfriend. mabel overhears and decides to try and pair him up with someone. she enlists the help of candy and grenda for this secret mission, but notices that candy seems uncomfortable with it. eventually she admits that she’s had a crush on dipper for a while, and mabel is ecstatic. she conspires to set them up on a date at the woodstick festival. candy makes mabel promise not to tell dipper, but of course she can’t keep her mouth shut and blurts it out while the two are having breakfast at the diner. mabel expects dipper to leap at the chance, but instead he just feels awkward. he tells mabel that although he likes candy and thinks she’s great, he’s never thought of her like that. mabel urges him to give her a chance, but dipper argues that it will end badly. he spots candy nearby, freaks out, and runs for cover. it’s at this point that mabel meets the love god.

NORTHWEST MANSION MYSTERY

-“….and grenda can take a hit pretty well so she’d be the best choice for a distraction while i spray 'em with the anointed water from behind, but we might need pacifica to-”

“actually, dip, i was gonna ask if i could handle this one on my own.”

“what? why? we don’t know how powerful this ghost is!”

“because i, the wonderful mabel pines, am going to confess my love for pacifica tonight!”

“you only realized you liked her two days ago!”

“exactly! no time to waste when romance is afoot!”

“you don’t even know if pacifica LIKES girls!”

“well i don’t know if she likes BOYS either. she always seemed kinda indifferent to-

"even if she does, what if she doesn’t like you back? and you know what her parents are like, they probably wouldn’t want her dating another girl anyway…”

“why do you always have to shoot me down like this”

“…..i’m sorry, mabel… i just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

-“we did it!” “haha, yes!!”

-(internally) “this is the perfect moment, mabel, just go for it!”

-“umm, pacifica? now that we just beat this big scary ghostman together, there’s something i wanted to-”

-“YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, FOOLISH CHILD”

-“….on second thought, I’m gonna go exorcise screamsville here first.”

-“that’s probably a good idea”

-{“WITCH! SERVANT OF EVIL!”}

-“i’m sorry. i didn’t want you to know this about me.”

-“ok, so, your family’s gotten mixed up in some bad stuff, that doesn’t mean-”

-“no, it does. you’ve always been so nice to me, and i never did anything to deserve it… hanging out with you, and dipper, and everyone, hanging around the shack….i started to realize that this isn’t normal. my parents aren't……normal. and now I’m just so scared that no matter what i do, i’ll end up just like them.”

-“….pacifica. i know you. your outsides may be crusted over with gold coins and expensive body lotion and hairspray, but your insides are made of bubbles and kitten kisses and rainbow dolphins high-fiving each other. your parents are a couple of stinky poo-heads inside and out and you’re not anything like them.”

[pacifica, crying, kisses her]

-“oh no. this was a mistake. I’m leaving.”

-“pacifICA WAIT”

-“what would you say if i said i was in love with you?”

-“i’d say you only wanted me for my money”

-“oh pacifica, your heart is gold enough to last me a lifetime!”

-“shhhhhpsshh stop!!”

-[mabel kisses her on the cheek]

-“no but really stop i don’t want my parents to see”

-“ohhh yeah sorry”

THE LAST MABELCORN

-things start out much like they do in canon, but when mabel meets the unicorn and it tells her that she’s not pure of heart she jumps to the conclusion that bill has “tainted” her in some way by taking over her body. the abuse metaphors here are obvious. she sadly returns home and begs ford to help her in some way, and he takes her down to his study. meanwhile, dipper sets back out with the girls in mabel’s place.

-“…..but it wasn’t me….” “what?” “i…..i have to go.” “mabel, wait!”

have it so like, she’s not necessarily visibly distraught when she talks to ford, or even to her friends, but more determined to “fix” herself, hiding the worry that she’s a bad person beneath her insistence that it must be bill’s fault.

“GRUNKLE FORD! bill gunked up my soul and i need you to fix it so i can be pure of heart again!” “…mabel…” “please please please PLEEEAASE!”

-“no offense, but you break the law daily, you two have kind of a…. mutual violent streak, and you……” “don’t say anything.” “and if being involved with bill really did disqualify mabel, then I’ve been doomed for years.” “you’re also not a 'maiden.’” “good point.”

-“man, this is bullshit.” “i know. how are we gonna find someone more pure than mabel?” “no, i mean. the game’s rigged. nobody’s completely 'pure of heart’ or whatever, and how do you even measure that? that glitter-snorting poser doesn’t ever have to give up the goods because she’s asking for something that doesn’t exist.” “…so how do we get the hair?” “well, i say if princess unattainabelle back there doesn’t wanna play fair, we shouldn’t have to either. alright, kids, who’s ready to add a few more bad deeds to the naughty list?” “YEAH!”

-meanwhile, mabel’s mind begins to be encoded. “i can’t undo what’s already been done, mabel. but i can make it a lot harder for bill to hurt you again.”

-mabel’s thoughts: “do you a favor” “have craz and xyler ever kissed?” “adopt every kitten in the world” “PACIFICA PACIFICA PACIFICA”

-mabel ends up putting the helmet on ford because she starts to have intrusive thoughts worrying that he could be possessed by bill, and she decides that proving herself wrong would put them to rest. “ugh, shut UP, brain! this is why we don’t talk anymore.”

-when mabel reads his thoughts, she freaks out and, unlike dipper, actually succeeds in hitting ford with the memory gun. he’s knocked to the ground and she approaches him cautiously as he rises back to his feet. when he explains that he’s not bill and the gun didn’t work anyway, mabel starts crying and hugs him. “its ok, mabel. you did the right thing. when dealing with an enemy like bill, you can’t fully trust anyone, not even the people closest to you. …maybe if i’d known that when i was younger, we wouldn’t be in this mess now.”

-“….i’m a bad person.” “oh come on, you don’t still believe that unicorn, do you? i thought dipper told you she was full of it.” “no, i… did something really bad today. i thought bill did something to gunk up my heart but it was really just me all along.” “wow, what did you do?” “nn. you’d hate me if i told you.” “mabel, you could kill a dog in front of me and i wouldn’t hate you. and if you don’t tell me i’ll just assume the worst.” “i AM the worst.” “ohhhh my god. …..ok, let’s say that bill did break your soul for all eternity or whatever. so what? you’re still my girlfriend. and in case you haven’t noticed, i’m pretty messed up too.”

ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

-“aww, come on! think about it…. just us girls, alone under the stars…” “eww, fine! i’ll come if you stop being gross”

-“i can’t believe my own sister got a girlfriend before me!”

-“romance ain’t a contest, kid.”

-“…yeah, you’re probably r-”

-“just kidding its definitely a contest. one you’re losing.”

-“he was… flirting with me! i think he actually likes me back!”

-“AAAAAAAAA!!” “get it, girl!” “candy wins!” “i wouldn’t get your hopes up, chiu. he’s probably just being a tool.”

-“pacifica, how could you?” “why must you deny true love?” “hey, dipper’s my friend and i think he’s great, but he sucks. I’m just being realistic.”

-“oh, no. i think i just agreed to take candy out on a date.”

-“….aaaaand do you LIKE her?”

-“well, yeah…………….as a fr-”

-“UGGGGGHHHHHH I KNEW IT. listen, 'dopper’, you got yourself into this mess, and its not up to me to help get you out. you deserve it for toying with a woman’s feelings, anyway.”

“candy…. saved my life. even after i broke her heart. she’s so cool…………………………………oh, SHIT.”

-“it’s ok, dipper. if dating pacifica has taught me anything, its that the way to a woman’s heart is through emotional angst and near-death experiences. and we get those every day!”

-“you deserve this and i have no sympathy for you.”

–

DIPPER AND MABEL VS THE FUTURE

same basic setup, with mabel hitting up all her friends for party plans, but the focus is on having to return home without all the friends she’s made rather than anxiety about growing up (although that’s still a factor). in addition to discovering candy and grenda won’t be around, she also finds that pacifica’s parents are becoming suspicious of her frequent outings so she’s trying to lay low for a little while, so she won’t be able to hang out for the last week of summer.

ford invites dip along for the alien hunt, and doesn’t exactly offer dipper the chance to be his apprentice, but is impressed with his adventuring skills and the fact that dipper has been training in the art of mystery solving for years. au dipper is quite a bit braver than canon dipper after all, and quicker to spring into action right after ford. theres still a bit of hesitation involved, and when ford praises him for his courage, he laughs and remarks that mabel would’ve jumped right away without any thought. ford then confides in dipper that although mabel uses her heart before her head, he can still see how scared she is inside and thinks it would be best for mabel to return home and cease connection with gravity falls, because he’s seen first-hand how much bill has hurt her already and he doesn’t want it to get any worse. he also tells dipper that he can tell mabel’s heart isn’t in any kind of study or quest for knowledge like he is, she’s just a kid having fun, and he can tell that its mostly because she wants to impress dipper and it might be better for her to focus her energy on her own interests, which can’t happen if she stays in gravity falls. dipper reluctantly agrees, saying that he’s always sort of worried about the same thing. of course, this is the part that mabel hears over the walkie-talkie.

for all that mabel and ford’s relationship is better, he still sees her as a child while he sees dipper as more of an equal. he warns dipper that letting mabel become dependent on him, or he on her, is a bad idea, because one day they’re going to have to go their separate ways, and mabel might not be able to handle it (implying that she’ll do something drastic to keep him around, like stan did to him).

theres a scene midway through the episode of pacifica sulking on her bed, hugging a pillow to her face. her mother’s voice calls her for dinner from downstairs, and she groans and gets up. looking in the mirror, she realizes her mascara has run and she scoffs and rubs at her eyes. when she opens them up again, the mirror is full of eyes. “something wrong, blondie?” it cuts off there

after mabel runs away into the woods at the end of the episode, pacifica emerges from the bushes in her full incognito gear, saying she came to warn her about bill. that bill tried to make a deal with her but she refused everything he offered, and that he’s getting desperate and is going to try again with someone else, probably before the summer ends. she tells mabel that if neither of their families want them, they’ll run away, out of gravity falls, together. when mabel realizes she has the rift, she groans, annoyed that she has to go back home and return it. but pacifica insists that this actually makes the plan better, that if they leave gravity falls with the rift it can be kept safer… and that, maybe it would be better if pacifica held onto it, since bill is targeting mabel. mabel agrees and hands it over…. at which point pacifica takes a moment to admire it, and then smashes it to the ground. she laughs, takes off her sunglasses, and is revealed to have been possessed by bill. then the world ends.

WEIRDMAGEDDON 1

-after ford is captured, dipper runs into grenda, as in literally runs into her, while she’s attempting to chase a monster in process of carrying off candy. the two travel together for the next three days, finally deciding to explore the mall in search of mabel and the others. on the way there, though, the two are ambushed by bill’s lackeys. before the fight can begin, grenda tosses dipper out of harm’s way and shouts for him to go on without her while she holds off the monsters. dipper reluctantly escapes, leaving grenda to an ambiguous fate.

-during that time, candy finds pacifica huddled in a pile of rubble, and urges her to come help find the others, but she’s reluctant. “look, mabel’s not here anymore, alright?! she’s gone. bill got her. so you can stop pretending to like me.” “candy does not pretend. not when it comes to friendship.” “….if you just left me here, nobody would have to know.” “on your feet, northwest.”

“augh, my poor hair… it’s got like, twigs and shit in it.” “do you want me to cut it off?” “what? no. why would i do that.” “it’s a symbol! in stories, girls cut off their long hair when they are going on journeys and breaking free, leaving the past behind… it is cool and majestic and– pacifica, YOU should cut off MY hair!” “wait, seriously? …ok, whatever, fine, do your weird impulsive nerd thing. you got any like, scissors?” “let me see….. six, seven, eight pairs! i also have a knife.” “candy, what the fuck.”

-dipper finds wendy, pacifica, and candy all hiding together in the mall. dipper is surprised and relieved to find that candy is safe and she talks about how she bit the monster’s hand to get it to free her, proudly revealing that one of her teeth has turned completely red as a result. dipper admits what happened to grenda, and while pacifica and wendy look worried, candy remains adamant that she’s strong and will be all right. hesitantly, dipper asks if any of them have seen mabel. the room goes quiet, and pacifica confesses what happened, that bill came to her and threatened to possess and torture mabel again if she didn’t let him use her body. she thought that if she agreed, she’d become a ghost like mabel did and be able to use a puppet as a vessel in time to warn somebody. instead she simply blacked out, and when she came to she was just in time to see mabel being sealed in a bubble and taken away.

-at some point pacifica confesses to dipper that bill never threatened to hurt mabel. she made the deal willingly because he promised her that mabel would be able to stay in gravity falls if she let him borrow her body, and she was just so scared of losing her, and everyone.

-candy’s arm is broken in the car chase and ensuing wreck against gideon’s crew. in the aftermath, pacifica uses the remains of her jacket to make a sling.

ESCAPE FROM REALITY

mabeland is nearly the same as in canon, though maybe with some minor alterations to reflect the events of the summer. dippy fresh is replaced by a series of “dream dippers”, versions of dipper that mabel had imagined he might be like before actually meeting him. most are unrealistically cool, but one in particular is just someone who would be the ideal brother, always looking out for her and wanting to be with her. in the end of course, mabel has to look at all of this and decide that real dipper is the one she wants. (theres also a fake pacifica who shares all of mabel’s interests and is hopelessly in love with her, always flirting and offering romantic gestures, but without any of the sass and personality that make her who she is. pacifica ends up snapping her neck.)

mabel introduces the dream dippers one by one like they’re contestants on a game show, but one spot is left empty. dipper asks who it’s for, to which mabel nervously replies that it’s more convenient to have something extra just in case. later on, in the wilderness of mabeland, dipper overhears mabel talking to someone. “i don’t understand. everyone can finally be happy here. wendy can break all the rules she wants and never get in trouble, candy can be herself without people making fun of her, pacifica can get away from her parents, and dipper…. well maybe i can understand why HE wants to leave, since he apparently doesn’t want to deal with me….” suddenly, dipper hears his own voice reassuring her that everything will be alright, and he’ll stay by her side forever, that the summer never has to end. she says “do you really mean that?” to which he replies “of course. you know i’m the best brother ever.” the voice is revealed to be perfect, ideal brother dipper.

crushed by this, dipper retreats to the pond, where instead of being approached by wendy he’s approached by candy. she sits down and asks him what’s wrong, and he tells her how awful he feels that he couldn’t have done better for mabel. she assures him that he’s a wonderful person, and mabel’s being silly for not wanting someone like him as a brother. she then tells him that she was being silly for being mad at him, too, that she’s realized he was right all along, and she should’ve forgiven him earlier. “really? …'cause i was totally with you on the whole 'i was a jerk’ thing.” then candy ups the ante, going on to talk about how oh, he’s so much smarter and braver than her, and she was just upset because she thought she stood a chance with him, but she’s such a loser, she could never- dipper stops her there, worried. he continues to insist that it was his fault, he WAS being an asshole, and he should’ve apologized to her a long time ago, but he was nervous “because…. i DO like you, candy. like, like-like you.” he tells her to stop berating herself, that he likes her because she doesn’t let anybody change how weird she is and that she’s not acting like…. herself. it’s at that moment that he realizes what’s going on. as “candy” begins dissolving into bugs, a fist collides with her head and she explodes. its revealed to be grenda, who managed to find her way in because “the door was unlocked.”

when it comes to the trial, mabel’s memories are similarly flipped through, but instead of having a twin to be there in her time of need, she had nobody. she’s never had anybody like that until she met dipper.

TAKE BACK THE FALLS

-candy and grenda’s symbol is a disco ball. “…and this one could mean a person who can see the fun in any situation! or just a party animal.” “hey, that’s me!” “that’s me too!” “it’s both of us!! SYMBOL SISTERS!!!” [grenda lifts candy up onto her shoulders and they each take a hand, candy on her right side since her left arm is broken and grenda on the left]

-“we’re proud of you, daughter. saving the world will be perfect for salvaging our reputation! i still think those pines kids are a bit of a bad influence on you, though.”

-“oh YEAH? how’s THIS for a bad influence?!” [she pulls mabel into a passionate kiss] “news flash, dad! your perfect daughter’s a big fat gross lesbian! and when i grow up I’m gonna marry this riffraff right here, and change my name to pines too!! so DEAL WITH IT!!!”

stan still loses his memory as he did in canon, but dipper is the most visibly distraught and won’t stop begging him to remember. he tells him how even though they fought a lot over that summer, he loves him so much and he’d never ask for a better grunkle. he desperately tries to jog his memory with baby pictures, but they need to trigger more immediate memories first.

the solution for mabel to stay in gravity falls would be to fabricate a lie that dipper is ford’s grandson, ford being the twin that faked his own death to escape a life on the run, but they’ve just come back to reconnect with the family (since dipper lost his parents apparently), and mabel didn’t want to tell her parents at first because she was afraid they wouldn’t want her staying with an estranged family member/ex-con. but she’s made so many great friends and she loves this town and wants to stay with her “cousin”.

while the northwests go house hunting, mabel invites pacifica to stay at the shack until they can find a new home.

rather than leaving for a new adventure, ford and stan decide to stay at the shack and rest for a while, just settle into their new family dynamic. soos, melody, and abuelita all still move in, and so the house is renovated to make room for the huge family.

with the journals destroyed, the mystery squad now has to start from square one…. but dipper tells mabel that she doesn’t have to do anything to impress him anymore. that he’s ready to try just being a kid again.

[smile-files]

melon’s comprehensive kinlist!

including name of character, source, image, short personality description, mbti, and then why i kin them! take your time to read, or don’t. i get it if you don’t want to scroll through an entire page just to psychoanalyze me lmao, have a good time

1. wirt (over the garden wall)

an angsty, socially awkward dweebus who nerds out over interior design and plays the clarinet. fears death. infp.

my first kin! for a month after rewatching otgw i desperately wanted to be him. to be like him. anything!! it eventually wore away but i still feel that urge sometimes - the urge to write r/im14andthisisdeep poetry and to distance one’s self from their siblings... and heck - his tape for sara is indeed just as awkward as he is but let me assure you that his poetry and clarinet are actually pretty cool. 9/10 i need to see him more. give me more otgw comics. ok thanks.

2. snufkin (moomins)

a philosophical vagabond of vague age. acts stoic all the time but can and will leave every social situation whether or not it’s humanly possible. infp.

after watching some 90s moomin (and later on moominvalley) i realized how much i liked him and how much i was like him; i soon daydreamed of myself, as snufkin, venting to someone. it made me very happy. i vibe with his general demeanor and ideals (minus his gripes about rules, i follow those by the book) and i love psychoanalyzing him. so fun. so fun.

3. arnold perlstein (the magic school bus)

overly-anxious jewish kid and certified expert on rocks and panicking. owns a pair of fire-proof pyjamas in a lovely shade of green. isfj.

you all saw this one coming. my early childhood lives in my mind rent free and such i can’t help but revisit arn and his character. i’ve always loved him (even in, and quite possibly especially in, the reboot) and i’ve always loved psychoanalyzing every single little thing he does (remember that one time he said he was traumatized? me too). i soon realized a lot of it was me projecting! so sue me. actually, sue miss frizzle. either one of them. i mean, if arnold really didn’t like the field trips he could’ve just filed a restraining order! ...just saying.

4. fluttershy (my little pony)

anxious pastel butterfly baby child. probably loves animals more than she loves herself. cries upon impact. isfj.

the pony i’d mentally point to and think “me”. i had like 10 fluttershy-related things growing up, like plushies or funko pops or that sdcc guardians of harmony thing. while not shy in the same manner, it was nice having a character i could relate to about so much! i cosplayed as her equestria girls form for my first comic con as well, so that’s pretty cool. in addition, me being a little lepidopterist means i was bound to love her. it was destiny~

5. lammy lamb (um jammer lammy)

socially anxious and generally anxious rock star who thinks literally everything is a guitar. has an emotional support girlfriend. infp.

man!! she embodies the feeling when you have to go to the eye doctor by yourself to get your glasses fixed or when you have to call someone over the phone... that sheer tension. the panic. the feeling of ‘i want to throw my entire being into the trash can’. but lammy has a bunch of friends to support her, so she’s cool. died by slipping on a banana peel! same, sister. and man would i like to shred on my ukulele now...

6. loser (bfb)

humble (screw bfb 21), supportive, well-loved cube dude who’s voice is like that of an angel. has an entire fanclub in his honor. enfj.

okay, no, i was never a cool kid or ‘popular’, really, but in school i was never bullied for whatever reason and was generally well-liked; i hung out with a squad of weirdos and yet the cool kids would often talk to me? and try to engage me?? despite my very apparent self-deprecation and awkwardness??? either way i feel like it’s such a blessing to me, that i have so many friends! i often feel like i don’t deserve it, but hey. it’s nice! and heck, back when i was on scratch i had a little fanclub myself :0

7. fan (inanimate insanity)

nerdy, friendly aspie boyo who subliminally vents via blogging. longs for stability in his life; was best friends with an egg. entp.

ever since i noted his aspergers-like behavior i became super attached to him - whether or not it was intentional, i found it nice having a character i can relate those feelings with. he’s really sweet and dorky and i love how he gets along with test tube, paintbrush, and lightbulb! it makes me really happy to see him whenever i do. it made me really sad when he was eliminated. what the heck. yeah i dunno i don’t kin him super strongly but i love him to bits.

8. spinel (steven universe the movie)

emotionally unstable clown girl who stood in a garden for thousands of years. patience of a saint. edge like an 11-year-old me. esfp.

uhh um uh totally wasn’t completely disturbed by how much i related to spinel after watching steven universe the movie... totally wasn’t reminded about how and why i hated middle school... totally didn’t rethink my life that day... that’s it. this is all i’m saying.

9. molly blyndeff (epithet erased)

innocent child who has a terrible father and a wonderful demeanor. teddy bear who needs a hug and a criminal as her new dad. infp.

epithet erased is adorable okay?? i knew molly was infp in the first few minutes... more precisely, i knew she was me. man!! i don’t relate directly to her angst but i still feel it. i can replicate her voice so accurately it’s scary. also, i coined a new thing -  ‘molly cake’! you have a chocolate cake, preferably with chocolate chips inside. use chocolate frosting and add little pastel star sprinkles! on top! my mom would make this cake for us anyway but then i realized it was literally just molly in cake form. and it’s just as sweet!

10. tommy coolatta (hlvrai)

a 30-something-year-old child who rocks a propeller hat. chose his last name off of a dunkin donuts menu despite the fact that he has a father. infp.

everyone loves tommy. he’s so sweet? and funny and loveable?? often times when i say something funny but bizarre, i just remember that tommy has said ‘soda helps you see faster’ and it makes me happy. if i’m going to be a weirdo i want to be the wholesome weirdo who loves soda and has a .png for a dog! also i legally have to kin tommy. i took a test for it (and i’m not complaining! i find it quite flattering).

11. twyla (monster high)

the daughter of the boogeyman; would very much like to boogey out of here, if you know what i mean. avoids people like the plague. infj.

seeing her role in the show and in the movies, i really love twyla? first of all, her voice is my new favorite thing. it’s like... gravelly? and soft? she’s the type of person who would very much like to disappear when in a crowd; thankfully, she literally can. i am drawn to any sarcastic, self-deprecating introvert who takes care of their bonkers extrovert friend (in this case howleen), as i often act as such myself. also the phrase ‘boogey sand’ will never leave my mind now :)

12. lapis lazuli (steven universe)

water gem who wants you to leave. cynical as all heck, sensitive as all hell. is there such thing as a gem therapist? just asking. infp.

in a similar way to twyla, i vibe with lapis’ sarcasm and wit as well as her emotional side. it can be kind of addicting, isolating one’s self. anywho, me and my sister used to do this routine of yelling up to each other this certain dialogue between lapis and peridot when peri was leaving for something (in which lapis replied to everything she said with dry ‘yeah’s); i would always do lapis’ part. i do reply a lot with ‘okay’ or ‘yeah’ or ‘cool’ to things people tell me, as i never really know what to say.

13. brad meltzer (xavier riddle and the secret museum)

shy jewish butterfly kid who absolutely hates time travel. attracted to people who know how to socialize like a normal human being. infp(?).

okay okay so... combine everything from arnold and everything from fluttershy and that’s basically what brad is to me. a jewish socially anxious nerd who loves butterflies and drawing. badabing badaboom, there i am. that’s it.

and boom! all of the kins i can think of, of course not including comfort characters like will byers from stranger things or isabelle from animal crossing. if you have any kins to suggest to me, i would love it! thank you for taking your time to read this, friend! have a fantastic day :)

[imagine-loki]

Gemini

TITLE:  Gemini CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One Shot AUTHOR: faeriedelalune-blog ORIGINAL IMAGINE:Imagine what would Loki do if he found out he has a child (or children) with you and had to take care of him/her/them while you’re not around RATING: Everyone NOTES/WARNINGS: None

Pairing: LokixReader, dad!Loki, mutant!Reader

—

Tony stood with his arms folded across his chest staring at the three ‘idiots’ standing before him.

“I can’t believe you’re vouching for this guy, Bruce.” Tony finally said after a while.

Bruce shrugged and said, “Well, if I hadn’t seen him in action back in Asgard with my own eyes I wouldn’t be doing any of the sort either.”

“Friend Stark I assure you that my brother is here to help and repent for his sins. He even got the tesseract before Asgard was destroyed and gave it to me!” Thor said proudly as he gestured towards his raven haired brother who had his hands behind his back.

Tony raised an eyebrow at Thor, amazed that he seem to have forgotten how many times his brother betrayed him. Loki knew it won’t be easy to trust him so he nodded his head curtly towards Tony before speaking,

“I am truly sorry for what happened in New York. I have no excuse, but my loyalty now is to my brother. I assure you that my actions from here on out will not be against my King’s wishes. Please accept my apology.”

Tony was surprised to hear an apology from the man who arrogantly tried to take over Earth once, let alone feel the sincerity from his words.

Tony thought about something briefly but eventually he gave up and just shrugged, “Well whatever, you’re the guy we need right now anyway.”

“Ha! Do you hear that brother? You’re the guy they need right now!” Thor boomed happily as he shook his brother’s shoulders before it dawned on him, “Wait, need him for what?”

As if on cue, high pitched screaming came from one of the halls accompanied by soft quick pitter-patter of footsteps.

“Speaking of the little rascals.” Tony said as he started massaging his temples with his one hand.

Soon enough, two little kids, a girl and a boy, appeared from the corner running. The little black haired boy who was blue all over with eyes as red as cherries chased after the little girl whose Y/H/C soft curls bounced as she ran towards Thor’s direction.

They circled around Thor before running off again. The girl ran towards Bruce screaming in glee and hid behind him. The boy let out a giggle as he lunged towards Bruce. Suddenly, the girl stepped from behind, looking all blue with the same red eyes and a familiar mischievous smile on her face.

The boy stopped on his tracks and changed direction to go to Tony’s side as the girl began to chase the boy. However, before she could get any further, Bruce grabbed her by the collar and pulled her up, her tiny legs dangling in the air.

“Really, Tony. I’ve been gone a short while and you go and get kids??” Bruce asked wide eyed.

“Jotunn children, no less! Friend Bruce be careful not to let your skin touch hers as it may burn your hand of frostbite. No offense, brother.” Thor cautioned Bruce as Loki held up a hand to show he’s not offended.

“Oh don’t worry about it, they’ve already learned to control their temperature around other people. Being of both hot and cold heritage they have built-in thermostats.” Tony said as he held the boy’s hand in demosntration.

Loki looked at the children incredulously, amazed that there are Jotunn children in the Avengers tower.

Tony caught Loki looking at the children so he sighed and patted the boy’s shoulder. The boy immediately turned to his human form, his green eyes looking straight at Tony.

“Don’t give me that look, kiddo. Won’t work on me.” Tony then looked at the girl’s direction who was squirming under Bruce’s grip. Upon realizing Tony’s glare, the girl stopped moving and kept her head low as she changed back to what she initially looked like the first time she came into the common room running, her Y/E/C eyes still looking down at the floor.

Tony then motioned for Bruce to let go of the girl. Bruce placed the girl beside the boy who was now standing infront of Tony.

“What did your mother say about running inside the tower?” Tony asked with his hands on his hips.

“Newer wun inside the towuh.” Both children chimed, “Un-unwess it’s an emer-emegen-ememeshee.” The boy struggled to add, “In which case, wun to uncow Towii or aunt Nashasha.” The girl ended proudly.

“Right, and was there an emergency?”

Both children looked at each other before looking back at Tony.

“Yes!” they beamed in gleeful unison as they turned back to their Jotunn forms.

Tony shook his head gently but before he could further protest, both children ran to Loki, jumped up and clung to his thighs.

Bruce, Tony, and Thor panicked as they saw the glint of annoyance from Loki’s eyes. But before any one of them could move, the children yelled out,

“Daddy’s home!”

Tony sighed defeatedly, pinched the bridge of his nose, and massaged the gap between his eyebrows. Both Bruce and Thor turned to him for answers.

Loki’s annoyance switched to shock as both children started climbing up his waist. Instinctively, he reached down and took one child in each of his arm.

The children smiled at him and both wrapped their tiny little blue hands around his neck as they nuzzled their head in Loki’s hair and shoulder. For some reason Loki enjoyed it and closed his eyes, feeling content. Without warning, both children touched Loki’s face and memories flooded into his mind like a raging river.

Loki saw you and how you hid you pregnancy from him, fearing she’d get in the way of you pursuing your 'glorious purpose’. He saw you bringing his twin children to full term and finally giving birth. He saw how you took care of them and how you were able to handle the situation when the twins first turned into their Jotunn form a day after their birth. Loki witnessed how you handled everything on your own during the first few years, sometimes with a bit of help from Tony, Natasha, and sometimes T'Challa when he’s in town. When the twins were able to walk and talk you began going back to missions, and even then, you still mostly managed on your own. Until recently when a mission accidentally crossed your path with Thanos. Loki tensed up and began to shake again as he saw you soaked in crimson blood.

“Enough!” Loki howled in grief which startled both children back to their Midgardian forms and immediately let go of their father’s face.

Thor looked at his brother with sadness and remorse. Apparently, the twins were able to mentally project the same images for Bruce, Tony, and Thor to see.

“Uhh, Thor, you might want to do something about Loki.” Bruce said as he pointed at the god of mischief’s shaking frame.

“Calm down, brother.” Thor urged as he cautiously approached Loki.

Loki tried to control his anger. When his brother mentioned his idea of bringing Asgard to Midgard, Loki did not disapprove despite his reluctance. In fact, he was ecstatic to return, because no matter what hate or anger he knew he’d receive from most mortals, his Y/N will be there standing by his side; but now, even that silver lining was taken from him by the same man who caused him pain and terror.

His whole body shook with anger as the urge to destroy Thanos and everything and everyone he has crawled in every fiber of his being. Loki was already planning how he will trick Thanos into accepting him, only to betray and leave him out to bleed.

“Brother…” Thor warned, still connected to Loki’s mind by the twins.

At that moment the twins nuzzled their heads back on his shoulders and wrapped their tiny arms around his neck. Loki looked at his children who looked a lot like you and him

He realized his children must have been without their mother for quite a while now so they needed him, and he knew he needed them too. He held his children closer to him and held on tight. No one will take his children from him. They’d have to pry them out of his cold dead hands if need be.

Loki was still dangerously angry though and Thor knew that no one can calm him down, now that Y/N is…

“What? Now that Y/N is what, Thor?” Tony scoffed haughtily at the Asgardian King who was surprised that he knew his thoughts. Tony looked at Thor and said, “The kids, they’re still doing their mind connection thing.” Then he turned to Loki, “Loki you idiot, Freya and Nari weren’t done yet. You’re too emotional for your own good.” Tony let out an amused chuckle, “But who would’ve thought that only the feisty little Y/N could bring you to your knees. Some god you are.” Tony ended as he rolled his eyes.

Freya and Nari giggled and jumped down from their father’s arms. Freya tugged on Loki’s hand before jumping up to cling on his thigh again. Loki, too focused on his children to bother about what Tony just called him but made a mental note of it, reached down to carry her but she swatted her father’s hand and just clung there like a koala.

“Yeah, she likes doing that. Koala’s her favorite animal right now.” Tony said in between his attempts to supress his laugh.

Nari on the other hand approached Thor. He tugged on Thor’s hand and raised his arms demanding to be lifted, “Up, up!”, Nari said, which the god of thunder obliged.

“I suggest you stop carrying him all the time, big guy. That little bugger will not stop asking you to carry him. You’ll just tire youself out out. Come on, looks like they want to go.” Tony said before motioning for everyone to follow him.

They all went down to the basement of the tower and there, they entered a viewing room.

Natasha was inside, her arms across her chest looking through the glass. She turned around as soon as she heard the door slide close and let out a soft gasp when she saw Thor carrying Nari, and Freya clinging to Loki’s leg. She smiled when she saw the happy grin on the children’s faces.

“Is that…?” Bruce asked as he slowly walked to the viewing window.

On the other side, Y/N is lying on a bed with machines connected to her body via small tubes.

“Yeah. Luckily, Vision was able to bring her back in time but she was still critical. When all her wounds were closed up, she started forcing herself to see her twins. Multiple bones were broken plus her stitches kept re-opening because she wouldn’t stay put. Kept saying that they need her and they need to be hidden away from Thanos. She even landed a punch on Jim when he blocked the door. ” Natasha chuckled a bit as she remembered the scene before sighing, “The girl’s got fight Loki and she was ready to die protecting your kids but we need her, they need her.” Natasha looked at Freya and Nari and smiled.

“That’s why we had to put her in a drug induced coma so her body will heal properly. It’s been two months since but she still needs more time to rest.” Natasha ended.

“But these racoon kids of yours are a real handful and we really can’t stay in the tower to babysit. Not when Thanos is out there.” Tony said as he approached Thor to take Nari who was playing with his uncle’s eyepatch.

“Look reindeer games, we understand how much you want to take out Thanos but your kids need you. Sure they listen to me sometimes but you’re their father. Besides, their magic is far greater than what any of us can handle. If you go and you end up, well to put it directly, dead…” Tony paused to hand over Nari properly but the mischievous boy decided to jump to his father and climb up to Loki’s head, his legs dangling on Loki’s shoulder and his tiny hands gripping on the god of mischief’s hair.

“Huh, that kid looks better on your head than that ridiculous horned helmet of yours.” Tony commented.

Everyone in the room tried hard to suppress their laughter. Tony cleared his throat and continued, “As I was saying, if you go and end up dead, then these two will definitely be heartbroken. Also, Y/N would most likely avenge your death when she wakes up to find you dead again and for real. Let’s face it, you and Y/N may be fierce warriors but you do tend to get caught or severely injured, worse, leaving these two orphaned. So like I said…” Tony paused as he placed both hands on Loki, “Loki, as much as I hate having you here, you’re the guy we need right now.”

Loki looked down at Freya who was still clinging to his leg before reaching down to pick her up and carry her with one arm. Then he reached up to hold Nari’s hand. He carefully approached the window and once he got near, he let go of Nari’s hand and placed his hand on the window, “Rest well my love. Regain your strength and return to my side as I have done to you. I shall take care of them for now. Thanos will never get his hands on them. This I vow.”

Thor stood beside his brother and smiled as he saw small fragments of happiness in Loki’s face, and knew that once Y/N wakes, his brother will be complete.

[livingthroughchoices-blog]

The Marshmallow Chronicles (Ch. 2.3: Return to Applewood)

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Author’s notes: So as I explained in this post, I’m very sorry for the long absence and understand if you’re not interested in this story anymore, so please let me know if you want me to untag you. Otherwise, I really hope you like this chapter despite the wait and thank you so so much, regardless of whether you still read this or not, for your support.

@starstruckzonkoperatorbat, @notoriouscs, @simplyaiden-blog, @snyggflicka, @asprankle, @speedyoperarascalparty, @mirivalencia, @mymandrake, @asobigokoro2018, @krisnicjack and @fabi-en-ciel 

Rating: T

Pairing: Drake x MC

Words: 8,057

As it turned out, Bastien, whose continued crankiness baffled Drake, had come close to leaving him behind, but had waited at Liam’s insistence. Drake mumbled his thanks to his friend, unable to look him in the eye, having just spent the evening pouring his heart out to Liam’s future fiancée.

This guilt is gonna kill me… if the image of Addams in her underwear and the sound of her moaning my name doesn’t do it first. His guilt was momentarily drowned by a powerful pang of desire.

He settled in for the long drive back to Applewood Manor, trying to suppress any thoughts of Addams being sexy; he could think of few things more awkward than getting a boner while sitting in a confined space with Bastien and Liam, of all people.

Unfortunately, he came to realize that not thinking about Addams was pretty much impossible, so he contented himself with directing his thoughts toward tamer grounds. He lost himself in the memory of dancing with her, of her wanting to stand around with him on his birthday, of her vulnerability when talking about her brother…

It was hard to pinpoint, but it was probably then that he started losing control of his thoughts and his brain decided to conjure images of things that had never happened, and would never happen. He and Riley were camping together, just the two of them; they were drinking at a bar, just the two of them; they were cooking together in a kitchen that seemed to be theirs. He bumped his head against the car window surreptitiously, as if trying to jolt the thoughts off his head.

The domesticity of the images perturbed him far more than any sexual fantasy would. Wanting Addams? Sure, he could deal with that. She was hot and he definitely wasn’t blind to that. But this craving of her company, not as a friend but as – he suppressed a shudder – a partner? That was way beyond the line.

“Drake?”

He was jerked away from his increasingly panicked reflections by Liam’s voice. He hoped his face wasn’t giving him away, although judging by the warmth spreading up from his neck to his face, he was hoping in vain. He rubbed his face roughly, trying to pass it off as sleepiness.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you would mind staying in the room next to Lady Riley’s again.”

“No!” Seeing Liam’s startled face, Drake made a second attempt at sounding more natural and less like a madman. “Er, I mean, I’d rather not because… uhh…”

“Ha, let me guess,” chimed in Bastien from the front seat, “you would rather stay next to Lady Kiara, eh?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Drake on the rearview mirror.

Drake opened his mouth to protest when he realized he was being given an out. He looked down at his hands, faking embarrassment. “Fine, yeah, that’s why.”

He thought he heard Bastien exhale sharply, but he couldn’t be sure as he was distracted by Liam elbowing him.

“So that is the reason! Well, you know me, I will not stand in the way of l’amour.”

Bastien snorted at this and despite his best efforts to keep a straight face, Liam cracked a smile at his own teasing. Then, sobering up, he added, “In all seriousness, though, I am happy for you Drake. I think you make a good couple.”

Excused from answering by his usual – and expected – grumpiness, Drake turned to the window, relieved and ashamed.

Once inside the Manor, he was pleased to verify that his room and Riley’s were on opposite sides of the spacious second floor. The pleasure, however, was short-lived as he almost immediately felt compelled to go look for her, to at least catch a glimpse of her before bed.

Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage for one day, you idiot?

Remembering Liam’s earnest good wishes for him stopped him in his tracks and sent him straight to bed.

He woke up unusually early the next morning, relishing a day spent outdoors, doing physical labor. Now this was his time to shine. All those pampered royals couldn’t hold a candle to him when it came to barn raising. Even Liam, who was in excellent shape, was used to different, more refined exercise.

The kitchen, which he had expected to be deserted as he went to grab a quick breakfast, was occupied by Bertrand and a tall, well-groomed man who looked vaguely familiar. Bertrand seemed as surprised as Drake was at bumping into each other.

“Oh, uh, hey, Bertrand,” he said, forgetting the man’s honorific in his distracted state.

Other than a slight flaring of his nostrils, the noble gave no sign of offended dignity, choosing rather to greet Drake in his stiff, formal manner. “Good day, Mr. Walker.”

Noticing Drake’s glance at the other man, he added, “Excuse me, where are my manners! This is Justin Barrington, Lady Riley’s new communications agent.”

“It’s so great to meet you Mr. Walker. I’ve heard a lot about you” Justin said, offering his hand.

“It’s Drake,” he replied, feeling a strong aversion at the man’s unctuous demeanor and his weak handshake.

He turned to Bertrand. “Well, I should get going.” He grabbed the first things within reach in the pantry, which turned out to be an apple and a granola bar and stepped out with a brisk walk.

He ate his meager breakfast on the way to the construction site, planning to go back for a real meal once everyone else showed up to help. His mind was blissfully empty while he walked, enjoying the early morning breeze and the first, barely-there rays of sun on his skin. He figured he’d have at least a half hour or more to himself, which suited him fine. In fact, he knew he’d likely get more done in that time than most people would during the whole day. And without Riley around to distract him, he half believed he could raise a barn all on his own in record time.

For the second time that day, though, he was startled to find someone already there, only this time he broke into a smile as soon as he spotted who it was. Drake joined her sitting down, the long grass tickling his arms and his back resting against a damp rock.

“Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here. Don’t tell me you won some sort of barn raising award back home!” He was only half joking, but Hana giggled and shook her head.

“I don’t think there is such a thing, and even if there was, I am sure I would be no good at it.”

“That’s a first. So what are you doing here so early?”

“Nothing, really.”

Drake cocked his head, waiting for her to say more.

“I believe I…” Hana paused, searching for the words, “well, I only meant to go for a walk, but then I realized I could do whatever I wanted and I decided to extend my walk so I wouldn’t have to be escorted here later… That must have sounded like nonsense.”

“No, actually, I understand. We rarely get these moments of freedom, don’t we? If I feel cooped up in the palace sometimes, I can’t imagine what you go through as one of the suitors!”

Hana was smiling now, relieved he sympathized. “Oh, no! I usually feel quite at ease here; I was so much more guarded at home. I am mostly left to my own devices, except during events such as today’s. But still, I needed a respite.”

“I know what you mean.”

They sat, as they often did, in comfortable silence, until Drake felt Hana’s eyes on him.

“What is it?”

“Oh!” She blushed at having been caught. “It’s nothing, that is, only if you wish– I don’t mean to intrude, I–”

“Hana!” He cut her off. “It’s okay, I think I know what this is about… You want to know if I talked to Addams, right?”

Hana blushed even harder and nodded, hurriedly adding, “But only if you want to tell me, of course.”

Drake sighed. “I actually do. For whatever reason, I feel better when I talk to you.” He ignored Hana’s knowing smile.

“So I told her.”

Hana gasped and clutched his arm, waiting with bated breath for him to continue. It took Drake some time, as he grappled with how much to say and what to keep to himself. On the one hand, he wanted to be honest with Hana, who had become one of his closest friends. This never ceased to surprise him. On the other, like a superstitious kid wishing on his birthday candles, he felt like saying anything about Addams’s feelings out loud might jinx his already precarious chances.

“Well, uh, she definitely cares for me, but I doubt it goes beyond friendship.”

Hana uttered a small “oh”; he suspected that, just like him when the situations were reversed, she was probably torn between sympathy for her friend and relief that Riley remained unattached, at least in theory.

Her grip on his arm became a soothing back and forth motion as she said, “There is hope then, especially if she did not specifically call you her best friend like…”

She trailed off, her voice thick. Drake jumped to his feet and pulled on her arms, practically forcing her to her feet.

“Right, enough moping. What do you say I teach you something for a change?”

Hana sniffled and smiled with a resolute nod.

They spent the next half hour speaking only of beams, pulleys and nails, simply enjoying each other’s company and the satisfaction of building something from scratch. The sun had come out in full and was beating down on them. Realizing his shirt might be soaked through by the time the press, and more importantly Addams, got there, Drake took it off. Hana moaned with envy, fanning herself and pulling her damp dress away from her sticky body.

Some nobles had begun to arrive and, like Drake, most of them took their shirts off right away, the difference being their goal was most likely to protect the expensive fabric, whereas Drake’s was to avoid dying from a heat stroke. His theory was proven when he noticed a handful of them using a nearby tree as a clothesline, hanging their shirts neatly off a branch.

He handed her one end of a rope to pull. She held it loosely, waiting for him to grab the other end, when they heard voices approaching. Their eyes met, their shared excitement so obvious that it made both of them laugh nervously. Still making eye contact, they seemed to come to the same conclusion simultaneously: it would look impressive if they pulled this beam into place just as Riley arrived.

Drake mouthed a countdown, then said, “Pull!”

They grunted with the effort, such a guttural noise sounding hilariously out of place coming from Hana’s prim lips.

A chant came around the corner: “Pull! Pull! Pull!”

Even if he hadn’t recognized the voice, Drake would have known it was Maxwell purely because of the man’s obsession with chanting.

“Hey, guys,” came Riley’s voice immediately after Maxwell’s.

Hana whirled around at the sound of her voice, which normally would have made Drake laugh, had her grip on the rope not slackened, leaving him pulling with all his might.

“Maxwell? Riley?”

In her eagerness to hug them hello, Hana dropped the rope entirely, bringing the beam crashing to the floor. Drake flinched and glared at her.

She had the grace to look chastised and grimaced apologetically. “Oops! Sorry, Drake! I was just excited to see our friends.”

Drake rolled his eyes but let her off the hook, “I don’t think we were going to get it all the way up there anyway.”

His eyes, as they so often were nowadays, were drawn to Riley. She was, for once, wearing comfortable, sensible clothes and she looked all the better for it, in Drake’s opinion. Sure, he liked how she looked in her elegant gowns, but there was something about the tight denim shorts and soft cotton shirt she was wearing that left his mouth dry.

Having almost involuntarily given her body a once-over – I probably look like such a creep – his eyes made their way back up to her face. His brows furrowed as he noticed her eyes looked glazed and her mouth was slightly open.

“Drake... You’re not wearing a shirt.”

Oh. Oooh.

Lifting beams had taken less of an effort than the one he exerted now to keep himself from smirking; he was only partially successful. He genuinely had forgotten about that. Because of Hana’s (understandable) non-reaction, he hadn’t even thought to use his muscular chest to his advantage. Nobody would ever accuse Drake of being vain. He wouldn’t even say he had healthy self-esteem.

But damn if I don’t look good without a shirt on.

He played it down with a quick, “Oh. Right.”

Hana narrowed her eyes, perhaps considering this might have been his plan all along. “He started off with a shirt...”

“Hey, it’s hot out! A guy’s got to cool off somehow.” Not used to this much attention, he cast about for a distraction. “Maxwell, you’re going to be sweating buckets in that black shirt.”

“There’s a spot over there where many of the nobles are hanging their dress shirts. Or, alternatively, I think Drake chose a spot on the ground for his.” Hana nodded toward Drake’s crumpled denim shirt.

“Nah, I’ll leave my shirt on. This button down’s made of moisture-wicking fabric. Very breathable,” Maxwell replied, even while beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

Drake frowned at him but Maxwell refused to meet his eye.

“Drake, you sure you’re not trying to show off for the press?” Riley teased.

As if.

“I’m happiest out of frame.”

Maxwell clapped his hands together. “Well, Riley should be giving the press something to shoot. Come on! Let’s lift things and build barns.”

Hana giggled. “I think that’s missing a few steps.”

“Details, details,” dismissed Maxwell, holding the nearest rope.

Drake pointed out which ropes to grab to Hana and Riley, then took his own.

“Everyone ready?”

Riley gave a small pull to her rope to punctuate her, “Ready.”

“We’re supposed to hold it like this, right?” Hana asked.

Drake gave her an encouraging smile. “Yeah, you got it. Now on three, pull together. One... Two... Three...”

“Heave!” Maxwell said, using his whole body to pull on his rope.

“Rah!” Riley grunted.

A bit unevenly, first rising on his side and Maxwell’s and more hesitantly on Riley’s and Hana’s, the beam was hoisted up to its place.

“Yes!” Riley fist pumped.

That’ll make for quite a photo op.

It was a small victory. Compared to everything that still needed doing, it was practically nothing. Yet seeing Riley’s joy at having done something she’d never done, and doing it together, was enough to make him hive five her as if they’d finished the barn.

“We did it!” Hana squealed.

Riley smacked her fist with her palm, and with her best action hero voice said, “We showed that beam!”

“That was mostly me, but the help was appreciated,” said Maxwell, who was now sweating profusely.

He leaned on Drake’s shoulder. It was only too tempting for him to step back and watch his friend stumble. “Yeah, sure it was.”

Laughing his near fall off, Maxwell looked at the press, who had moved on to photograph other suitors. “Riley, I’ll look for something that’ll put you on the front page!”

Hana looked over where the press was, spotting Penelope making planks with other nobles. “Making planks for the walls looks like fun. You could help me with that.” The last part was directed at Riley, and there was a hopeful glint in Hana’s eyes.

“You’re welcome to stay here.” Drake shrugged like it was all the same to him.

Riley, however, barely thought about it. “I’ll stay here with Drake.”

As much as Drake wished she had pretended to think a bit more about it to spare Hana’s feelings, there was no denying the rush it gave him to hear those words, even if just in the context of barn raising.

If only she would keep choosing me.

Ha! Don’t hold your breath. It’s just ‘cause Liam’s not around.

“Suit yourself.” Maxwell went off to schmooze members of the press.

“Have fun!” To Hana’s credit, it sounded almost sincere, but her back had a strange rigidity to it as she walked over to Penelope.

More to break the silence than anything else, Drake said, “Well, looks like you’ve chosen to stick with me, Addams.”

It was phrased like a regular sentence, with no particular inflection, but there was a question in it which Riley seemed to sense. “I stand by my decision.”

How does she always know the right thing to say?

She gave him a disarming smile that Drake couldn’t help but return, but all he could reply was, “Heh, alright.”

“So,” said Riley, moving closer with the smoothness of a predator stalking its prey, “what does big strong Drake need my help with?”

The way she said the words big and strong went straight to Drake’s crotch and he swallowed, trying to keep himself under control by thinking of Bertrand.

“Beam lifting, of course. But I’m bringing in some help.”

He was already retreating as he explained, desperate for other company to break the tension; even animal company would have to do.

Outside the partial barn, a couple of horses were tied to a post. He selected the one that looked stronger and walked back to Riley, somewhat soothed by the horse’s presence.

It snorted when it reached Riley, who let it smell her hand before patting its velvety muzzle.

“I figured some real horsepower would make everything go a lot quicker. But this’ll also make an even better picture for the press.”

Riley glanced at him from around the horse, grinning. “Aww, thanks, Drake. You do care.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

It was Riley’s turn to look uncomfortable at his candor. She cleared her throat and, without meeting his eyes, asked, “What do I need to do?”

“I want you to guide the horse forward, while I direct the beam.”

“Got it.”

Drake handed Riley the reins, allowing her small, always-warm hand to linger on his. After yesterday’s conversation he was finding it more and more difficult to keep his distance, to be careful, even.

Yeah, well, you better get used to it again. You can’t be holding hands in public events, what the fuck are you thinking?!

He abruptly took his hand from under hers and moved to hold the beam, trying his best to ignore Riley’s hurt eyes.

“Okay! Pull!”

With an encouraging, “Easy, girl. Right this way,” Riley skillfully directed the horse in the opposite direction, lifting the beam. As it reached the right height, Drake steered it to the correct angle so that it fell smoothly in place.

He walked back to Riley and the horse, sweat glistening on his chest. Riley glanced at him and swallowed thickly. He somehow ended up standing closer to her than he’d planned.

He wiped his brow and said, “Whew, that wasn’t so bad. Good work, Riley.”

She shrugged. “Thanks, but the horse did most of the work.”

“Well, thanks, horse.”

The animal whinnied gratefully at their petting. They looked up from the horse and their eyes met in a moment of mutual understanding. Without being outwardly romantic, it was probably one of the times that Drake felt closest to her, and he was once again struck by the unfairness of the whole situation, by the fact that, had they met under different circumstances, they would want similar things out of life and therefore make a good team.

Riley seemed to be thinking along the same lines, if her suddenly watery eyes were anything to go by. She opened her mouth to say something, which Drake dreaded and anticipated at the same time, when they heard uncertain, tottering steps coming towards them, accompanied by heavy panting.

Lady Kiara came into view, looking much less composed than usual, her shiny black hair escaping in sweaty tendrils from its half updo and her face red and shiny with exertion. She punctuated each excruciating step with strained words, “Just... a few more... steps... till I can drop this... stupid plank…”

Presumably thanks to her choice of footwear (platform shoes), she took a false step and stumbled. Trying to regain her balance, she overcompensated and twisted her ankle. She barely had time to scream, “Mon dieu!” before she was on the floor, the beam on top of her.

“Kiara!” Riley was the first to run towards her, yet she then hovered uncertainly, knowing she would not be able to lift the beam alone.

Drake muttered a quick, “Oh, jeez,” and ran to help.

He tossed the beam aside like it weighed no more than a pillow and reached a hand down to help Kiara up, concern etched on his face. She made no move to take his hand, but she did not look hurt; on the contrary, she seemed delighted, if a little shocked.

Blushing a bit, she said, “Oh, merci beaucoup.”

“You okay?” asked Riley, still worried.

Kiara seemed to have forgotten her presence altogether, ogling Drake. Her insolent scrutiny went all the way from his feet to his face, making some uncomfortably long stops along the way. “I am now.”

Huh, so this must be what girls feel like aaall the time. Can’t say I hate it, but I’m sure it gets annoying.

He thought of something normal to say, “You shouldn’t carry this all by yourself.”

Still blushing, Kiara fidgeted with her messy hair, replying, “I... uh, you know how it is. Penelope said she was taking a five minute break thirty minutes ago,” she nodded toward her friend, who was absorbed in a game of fetch with her poodles outside, “and I didn’t want to wait around.”

Drake shook his head, putting a hand lightly on her shoulder, “If you’re going to carry a beam, even a small one, at least find someone like me to help you.”

“Right, I’ll find someone... like you,” she said breathily.

He offered his hand again and this time she took it. Giving him one more lustful look, she said, “Thank you for looking out for me, Drake,” and left them to an awkward silence.

“Do you think you have an admirer?” Riley’s voice sounded much too cheerful, her smile forced.

“I hope not,” he replied honestly.

Kiara chose that exact moment to look back at him over her shoulder, a move that had to be purposefully seductive.

“I think she might be checking you out.”

Trying to get back to their easy teasing, Drake said, “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing!”

It was true. When he glanced at her, he saw the same stiff smile on her face. She was very obviously making the same effort as he was at their usual banter, but somehow it came out forced and weird.

“I don’t want to think about this. Let’s just finish this barn. That’s simple. Just move and build.”

Her smile faded completely. “Right.”

They worked in silence, but it wasn’t the usual comfortable silence of their moments in between.

I hate this. We haven’t been this awkward together since we first met.

You know why that is, don’t you?

I’m not sure.

Don’t play dumb. She’s jealous. You can use this to your advantage.

No! You saw how hurt she was! I don’t want her to feel like she has to fight for my attention!

Why not? You have to fight for her attention all the time. It’s always Liam this, Liam that. Even that night at the Beaumont Bash, she couldn’t wait to go on her date with Liam. Face it, this is the only way she’ll appreciate you.

He rolled his shoulders and mentally shook himself. This was not the time to debate himself – he was way past the point of wondering whether it was right to debate yourself at all. He resolved to focus on the work instead and tried to keep his mind off the awkwardness.

At some point – it could have been 15 minutes or 3 hours – Maxwell came to get Riley, jabbering on about photo-ops and PR. Riley shot him an apologetic grimace that he only half believed; if she’d been feeling anywhere near as weird as he was then she probably felt the tiny bit of relief he did.

Left alone, Drake worked with machine-like efficiency, pausing only to wipe the sweat off his brow when it threatened to sting his eyes. A maid came around offering lemonade and sandwiches, which he gratefully accepted, having forgotten to go back to the manor for a proper breakfast earlier. As he ate his sandwiches – they couldn’t have expected him to take just one – he noted the other nobles gave him a wide berth as usual, and his friends were all busy, which suited him fine. He preferred to be alone with his thoughts for the moment.

Ugh, are Addams and I gonna have to talk about that?

Talk about what?

Jealousy, I guess. What it means for us–

Us? Listen to yourself, there is no us, you moron!

Fine, whatever. If I even want that to be a possibility, I gotta get to the bottom of this shitshow. Who would stand to gain something by ruining Addams’s chances?

The obvious answer was Madeleine, but he wouldn’t allow himself to be blind to other potential culprits. He interrupted his mental list – which ended up including pretty much everyone, rendering it useless – when he saw Bastien walk by.

“Hey, Bastien!” he called after him.

The man doubled back and nodded for a greeting.

“I was thinking about the pictures. The ones from Liam’s bachelor party.”

“What about them?”

“I don’t know, I can’t help feeling that finding out who took them would lead us to the person behind the other pictures.”

Bastien’s lips tightened the way they always did when he disapproved. “That seems like a leap, Drake.”

“How is it a leap?! Two sets of secret pictures taken in such a short period of time? Both of them involving Liam and Riley? How could they not be related?!”

The older man raised his hands, trying to pacify Drake. “I did not mean to say they cannot be related, merely that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”

“Fine. You’re still looking into it, though.”

Clicking his tongue irritably, Bastien answered, “Yes, you asked me this recently, of course I am.”

He turned abruptly and stalked off.

Drake could not help but note that Bastien had been acting more and more prickly lately, and while it wasn’t completely out of character for him to snap at Drake, the frequency was out of control. He carefully sifted through his woundedness to get at the heart of what was bothering him about his mentor’s attitude. Bastien seemed overly cautious in this investigation, and it rubbed Drake the wrong way.

Still puzzling over it, Drake kept carrying and placing beams until it hit him: surely Bastien was acting cautious because it was extremely likely that a noble was behind everything. You had to be careful in court not to step on anyone’s toes, or if you were going to do it, you had to at least be certain they were the right toes.

Bastien probably suspected one of the more powerful nobles, and so he couldn’t risk being brash. This left him with a somewhat smaller pool of suspects, which he decided to share with Riley when they had another chance of being alone.

Having finished his area, Drake went out to look at other groups’ progress. Although unpainted, the impressive wooden structure of the barn was finished; it was hard to believe it had been erected in just a few hours.

As he walked up to his friends, Riley voiced Drake’s thoughts, “We did it! And it looks great.”

He elbowed her playfully, “Not bad for a bunch of nobles...”

“That was exhausting,” said Hana, looking composed as usual, “but I’m glad we did it.”

Maxwell, on the other hand, collapsed where he stood, panting, “No more. Can’t... saw... another... plank of wood.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Maxwell.” Drake seized his hand and tried to pull him to his feet. He wouldn’t budge. “If this was a dance set, you’d still be going.”

“Like a heart, I need a beat to keep going, but all I hear is the angel’s choir. Remember me fondly.” He managed to extricate his hand from Drake’s and let it fall to the ground, his head lolling to one side and his tongue out to indicate his death.

Riley giggled and even Drake allowed a grudging smile, but Hana’s brows knitted together.

“Should we...” she hesitated, leaning halfway down towards Maxwell.

“He’ll be fine,” said Drake.

Just then, Liam sauntered towards them, wiping his face with a towel, which he then handed to one of the surreptitious assistants that shadowed him almost constantly. As per usual, he sported a dazzling smile, which Drake noticed Riley was quick to return.

“Hello, my lords and ladies.”

Drake clapped him on the back. “You managed to escape after all.”

Liam gave an exaggerated sigh. “Until tomorrow at least. It’s been a long day.”

“No kidding. I could really use a bath.”

Drake made an automatic – and ultimately futile – effort to stop himself from picturing Riley in a bath. He could practically see her wet skin glistening, slippery with soap, and her breasts just poking up through the surface of the water. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly watering.

Maxwell chose that very opportune moment to stir and finally shot up to his feet. “Oh, I know of a spa nearby where we could unwind.”

Drake raised an eyebrow. “What happened to being on death’s doorstep?”

Maxwell grinned. “I caught my second wind.”

“I’d love a relaxing spa trip,” said Hana.

“That’d be a nice end to the day,” agreed Liam, offering Riley his arm. She took it with a gracious smile, but Drake caught her glancing at him.

“Let’s go!” Maxwell gestured for them to follow him as he half skipped to the limo.

They piled into it. As Maxwell informed their driver of their destination, Liam popped a bottle of champagne, pouring some for all of them. Once they all had a drink, Liam toasted, “To a job well done and to a rest well earned.”

“Hear, hear!” said Hana, clinking her glass with Liam’s.

Drake clinked his with Riley’s first, making pronounced eye contact which he hoped conveyed his thoughts. Let’s leave today’s weirdness behind. Let’s just be us.

It seemed to work better than he expected, because she gave him a sweet smile and he thought she may have even nodded discreetly, too.

They spent the rest of the ride talking and laughing easily, as close as they came to a normal group of friends. They left the limo as they came up to a squat building made mostly of marble, with wooden accents here and there. Warm yellow light flooded out from the enormous windows, the open wood shutters shadowed the concrete floor outside with long stripes that dissipated towards the end. A pool sparkled in the setting sun, strongly inviting in the lingering heat.

Maxwell whooped as he sprinted to the reception. Liam hurried to catch up with him, possibly worried the receptionist might suffocate under so much enthusiasm. Hana brought up the rear, smiling into the breeze and leaning down to touch the water, which left Riley and Drake alone in the middle of the group.

“So–”

“So–”

They laughed, insisting that the other go first, until they both fell silent. Drake was just agonizing over what to say, wondering if their relationship would ever stop being awkward now, when he felt Riley’s hand bump into his. She seemed to hesitate at first, then firmly intertwined her fingers with his. He looked down at their hands, more touched by this than he could’ve imagined. It was a leap of faith; he could practically see it on her face, We’ll be okay, right? He squeezed her hand, Of course we will.

He let her hand fall, but could still feel a glow between them as they walked the rest of the way. They were back to good silence.

They caught up to Liam and Maxwell, with Hana joining them a few seconds later. The deferential receptionist handed them all fluffy white robes and directed them to the men’s and women’s spa rooms. Drake and Liam immediately stripped down to their underwear, Drake seizing the opportunity to whip his towel at Liam’s back, hopping away before his friend could get him back.

“You’ll pay for that one, Drake!” Liam laughed.

Drake, however, had become distracted by Maxwell’s continued absence. He’d gone behind a bamboo screen to change, which was already weird in itself as he and Liam weren’t nearly that modest, but stranger still was how long he was taking.

Come to think of it, he’s been extra modest lately.

He didn’t remember Maxwell being that way before. In fact, once he thought about it, he came to the conclusion that he had first noticed it during Liam’s unconventional bachelor party at the beach cove.

He nodded his head towards the screen and Liam shrugged, seeming just as confused as he felt.

“Maxwell?” Liam took a few tentative steps forward. “Is everything okay?”

“Er… yes. I don’t suppose there’s any chance you two would close your eyes for this whole thing?”

Drake chuckled. “What? Dude, what are you talking about? Come out.”

They heard a heavy sigh on the other side, and whispers that sounded like Maxwell hyping himself up. “Okay, promise you won’t laugh.”

Liam said, “Of course,” at the same time as Drake replied, “Not a chance,” and Maxwell stepped out.

Whatever Drake had been expecting, it wasn’t this. Maxwell had a decent-sized tattoo of a baby hippo, of all things, on the right side of this chest. He felt his mouth drop open, too shocked to actually laugh.

To his surprise, it was Liam who let out an involuntary snort that turned into a genuine belly laugh before he could suppress it. He clapped a hand to his mouth, ashamed, and apologized profusely to Maxwell, but it was clear he was working hard to keep the laughter at bay.

Drake on the other hand, had managed to get ahold of himself enough to close his mouth, which was now spreading in a fascinated smile. He trying to choose from a variety of teasing comments to make when Maxwell ran back behind the screen.

Drake changed his tune, “Aw, come on, Maxwell, it’s not that bad!”

“Yeah, right, I could see it in your face you were about to say something.”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely gonna tease you, but you’ll be fine.”

Liam gave him a look that made it clear he should stop speaking and let him coax Maxwell out, when the door burst open and Riley and Hana came in, giggling.

“Surprise!” squealed Hana.

“Hey, guys!”

“Oh!” Liam automatically grabbed his towel when he turned to look at them, as if fearful it would fall off. “Riley, Hana! Should we... er... cover up more?”

Riley rolled her eyes at the suggestion, which made Drake snicker. “I think the ladies will be fine.”

To everyone’s surprise, it was Hana who said, “Yes, I’ve seen a man in a towel before.”

Drake had been on the point of asking whom and why, when Riley looked around and asked, “Wait a second... where’s Maxwell?”

With a gloating smile, Drake gestured to the screen. “Hiding. And that was before you all burst in. Come on out, Maxwell.”

Liam’s voice was trembling with contained laughter. “Yes. You can’t hide forever.”

Maxwell shuffled out of the screen, his timid steps undercutting his defiant words. “Go ahead and laugh if you want.” In a smaller voice, he added, “Just don’t tell Bertrand you saw it.”

“Is that a baby hippo?” Hana asked, delighted.

Riley, like Drake, seemed to be speechless for a few seconds. Her hands were covering her mouth and she was wearing an expression much like a kid’s on Christmas morning. She slowly lowered her hands to say, in hushed tones, “Wow... Maxwell, that tattoo is the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

Maxwell’s face was split by a huge grin. “Really? You like it?”

“Love. I love it,” she said fervently.

Maxwell blushed. “Aw... heh, now I wish I’d shown it to you sooner!”

“Would I be correct in guessing that there’s a story of some sort behind this?” asked Hana.

“Kinda…” Maxwell shook his head as if to get rid of the flush creeping up to his cheeks, then cleared his throat and started, When I was a kid, my mom would call me her little hippo.”

Drake and Liam, who had been holding in their laughter this whole time finally broke. Riley smiled even wider than before and said, “I didn’t think it was possible for this moment to get better, but here we are.”

Hana glared at all of them in turn, which made them all moderate their amusement; it was clear this was important to Maxwell.

“I was kind of chubby when I was younger, before I got into dancing. My dad was really hard on me about it, but my mom never made me feel bad.” Maxwell’s smile turned dreamy and he suddenly seemed far away.

“She was really smart and funny. She said I was just like a hippo... fun-loving, but tough, and always able to make her smile. And she made them sound really cool and amazing.” Maxwell’s voice got quieter and slower, his previous enthusiasm fading. “Anyway, when she passed away, I wanted to do something to commemorate her. I told Bertrand I was going to get something done... I guess he thought I meant like, have some artwork commissioned... So he was pretty surprised when he saw this.”

A smile slipped out at the end and it was such a Maxwell smile, sheepish but unapologetic, that Drake felt a rush of affection for his impulsive friend.

“I can imagine...” muttered Riley.

“I suppose it doesn’t particularly fit with the image of House Beaumont that Bertrand’s striving to maintain...” agreed Hana.

“Yeah, this was more or less his second to worst nightmare. Or so he keeps telling me, anyway... So he said that if we’re ever around the nobility or servants, I had to keep it covered up. But... I can trust you, right?”

He asked this so earnestly that Drake put his arm around his shoulders, while Liam nodded solemnly.

“Of course! On my honor,” Hana said, crossing her heart.

Riley winked and said, “Maxwell, I’ll only tease you when Bertrand isn’t around.”

Maxwell chuckled. “That’s all I ask.”

Sensing that Maxwell could use a change in subject, Drake said, “As fun as discussing Maxwell’s hippo tattoo has been, I’m going to take a dip in the cold plunge... Anyone want to join?”

Liam shuddered. “No thanks. After today, I’m relaxing in the tub...”

They parted ways, leaving Hana and Maxwell talking in the same spot and Riley… Drake had deliberately avoided looking at her as he walked towards the pool, not wanting to get his hopes up or influence her decision in any way.

He discarded his towel and stood at the edge of the pool in his blue boxer briefs. He was taking air in through his mouth, trying to convince his body that cold was an illusion, when a voice coming from somewhere below his left shoulder said, “Trying to summon your courage?”

Without looking back at her, he replied, “This is supposed to be good for you.”

“Oh?” Riley stepped up next to him at this, looking curiously up at him.

“Yeah. Like most things in life, the best thing is sometimes the most painful.” He held her eyes, which revealed her agreement. “Want to do it with me?”

“The cold plunge? I’m in!”

She unwound her towel. She was wearing a simpler bra than she had last time he had seen her in her underwear. Not that that made anything easier. It was a basic black bra and matching panties and he was making a huge effort not to let his mind linger on the contrast between them and her soft, pale skin.

“Really?” He had half expected her to say no – the water really was freezing – but upon reflection he realized what a foolish thought that had been; when had she ever backed down from anything?

“Can’t let you do it alone.”

“That’s the spirit.”

This time he took her hand which judging by Riley’s smile, filled her with joy.

“Here goes...” She swung their hands together, giddy with the anticipation of the coldness.

Drake started a countdown, trusting she wouldn’t abandon him at the last moment. “One... two...”

“Three!”

They bent their knees and jumped at the same time, their joined hands awkward in midair due to the height difference. Drake’s entire body seemed to rebel against the cold, coming alive in a way that made its normal state seem dull and pitiful. He broke the surface with a huge gasp, his lungs feeling like they were struggling to fulfill their regular functions.

Riley came up next to him, just as shaken and out of breath as he was. “That was...”

He tried to get his breathing under control. “Intense?”

She breathed out a laugh, her chest still moving up and down. “That’s one word for it.”

He took a slow step closer to her and raised his hands to her waist, barely touching her. “Having trouble keeping up with me, Addams?”

She jutted her chin out. “Me? Never.” She came closer still, letting her hands rest just as lightly on his chest.

He laughed softly, his breathing erratic for reasons that had more to do with being able to count the drops hanging from Riley’s long lashes and less with the water’s temperature.

“You know,” he murmured before he could think better of it, “you owe me something.”

“Oh, do I?” She, too, was breathing unnaturally, he noticed.

“We had a bet to see who could get Maxwell to take off his shirt, remember?”

She opened her mouth in outrage. “That’s bullshit! You didn’t do anything!”

“You don’t know that.”

She narrowed her eyes and abruptly leaned the rest of the distance – tiny as it was – towards him. He had a moment of panicked excitement thinking she was going to kiss him, and so was disconcerted for a moment when he felt her lips near his ear.

“Fine. I owe you whatever you want.”

If the sultry whisper hadn’t been enough to make Drake want to take her somewhere – anywhere – they could be alone, the soft kiss she laid on his earlobe sure was. His hand involuntarily flew to her hair and she inhaled so sharply it was almost a gasp. This brought him somewhat back from the brink, reminding him of where and with whom they were.

He couldn’t resist the temptation of getting the last word in, though. Leaning in as close as she had, he whispered huskily, “I’ll hold you to that.”

He let go of her before she could recover – and he saw with some satisfaction that she did need a second to gather herself – and heaved himself out of the pool, offering his hand to her with a smirk.

She thanked him for pulling her out, still whispering, her eyes wider than usual. Then her face hardened with resolve. She quickly looked around and the next thing he knew, her lips were on his. She cut off the kiss, looking up at his reaction.

All he could say was, “Whoa!” and it was all he needed; I’m sure as hell not gonna waste my time talking right now.

He glanced back to make sure everyone was still engrossed in their activities, then pulled her back to him, responding with the kind of eagerness she had hoped for. She opened her mouth sooner than she had any other time, allowing his tongue to explore and then joining him with her own. Emboldened by their conversation in the pool and wanting to erase the first half of the day, he bit her lip gently, which made her moan in response. Ironically, it was knowing how turned on he was that made him stop.

They both panted the way they had in pool as they smiled goofily at each other.

“You’re full of surprises,” he said, not willing to let go of her hand just yet.

“Good ones, I hope?”

“You know, you can surprise me like that any day…”

I wish you could surprise me like that every day...

He grimaced and finally let her go. “But right now, we should probably...”

She scrunched up her nose and pouted. “Be sensible and discreet?”

“Unfortunately.” He caressed her cheek lightly with the back of his hand. “And believe me when I say that it’s very unfortunate.”

She sighed. “I guess we should check out the rest of the spa.”

They headed back to the hot tub, where Maxwell and Hana had joined Liam.

“I can’t believe you guys were in there this whole time! It’s freezing!” said Maxwell.

Liam had a troubled look on his face, but said nothing.

Could he have seen us?

Uh, duh. This place isn’t that big! That was a stupid fucking risk to take.

But I made sure he wasn’t looking…

He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but from Riley’s sudden stiffness next to him, he sensed she had noticed, too.

Before he could analyze Liam’s expression properly, Maxwell grew tired of the hot tub. He stepped out of it, steam rising from his shoulders and walked over to the pool.

“Hey, everyone! Watch this!”

He dragged a chair to the edge of the pool and got up on it, his back to the pool and his knees bent. Drake thought he knew where this was heading and felt a twinge of concern.

Thankfully, Hana voiced it before he had to, “Is that safe?”

“Almost certainly not,” Maxwell answered before doing a backflip into the pool. He had to admit it was pretty impressive.

“I’m next!” Riley piped up.

“Step right up, step right up...” Maxwell shouted from the pool, sounding like a carnival ringmaster.

Once again, Hana said exactly what Drake was thinking, “Be careful...”

Drake’s heart felt like it was in his throat, watching Riley get on that chair.

With her signature confidence, she said, “I’ve got this!”

Her backflip, while evidently less practiced than Maxwell’s, was still well-executed and more importantly, ended with her safely in the pool.

This time Drake didn’t hesitate to compliment the move. “Okay, that was impressive.”

Liam clapped for her. “Very well done, Lady Riley.”

“Looks like I’ve finally met my match,” said Maxwell, putting an arm around her.

A clock installed over the door went off and Liam said, “It looks like our time here is at an end...”

“This has been so fun...” said Hana while helping Riley out from the pool and enveloping her in a towel. She squeezed Riley a little and continued, “I’m so glad we did this!”

“Yeah. This wasn’t so bad, as far as our capers go.” Drake glanced at Riley as he said this and noticed the smile playing on the corners of her lips; it had been way better than “not so bad” for them.

Liam clapped his back. “Highest of praise from Drake.”

Riley let her smile come out in full and looked around at the other four. “I’m glad we got to do this, too.”

Drake spent the ride back in silence, more determined than ever to find whoever was responsible for this conspiracy against his best friend and the girl he was crazy about. He had a bet to cash in on, after all.

[thearkhound]

1998 Metal Gear Solid art commentary from Yoji Shinkawa (revised translation)

Source:http://web.archive.org/web/20050109031649/http://www.konamijpn.com:80/products/metalgear/art/index.html

The following is a translation of various artwork commentary by Metal Gear Solid illustrator Yoji Shinkawa that were posted on the game’s official Japanese website on July 9, 1998. These pages remained online until 2008, when Konami decided to relaunch the website in order to promote the digital download release of the game on the PlayStation Store.

I posted an earlier translation of these blog posts on March 8 of this year (2019) that was missing most of the illustrations being described, since the image files were not archived. I’ve since found the missing image files on another website and took the liberty of revising my translation to fix mistakes or clarify certain statements. I’ve tried to edit the original blog post, but for some reason tumblr didn’t allow me to upload any new images, so I decided to delete it and post the revision as a new blog post.

I’ve also found the images of the scratch Metal Gear REX model sculpted by Yoji Shinkawa that were uploaded on the official site, but unfortunately they were watermarked by a fansite that copied them back in the day. With that said, it’s still better than nothing, so I added them at the end of this blog poster.

Unfortunately, I still haven’t found any of the photos used on the seventh blog post, so that will still remain untranslated for the time being.

Interviewer: First of all, it’s a pleasure to talk to you Mr. Shinkawa.

Shinkawa: Please to meet you too.

Interviewer: I’ll start by asking about the game’s protagonist Solid Snake. What kind of details were you paying attention to when designing his character.

Shinkawa: Well I talked about this before in Konami Magazine Vol. 2, but there were two Metal Gear games prior to this one, so I struggled to find a balance between them. The Snake in the original Metal Gear looked like a young musclebound guy, while in Metal Gear 2 he was more of a bitter middle-aged man. This time Mr. Kojima’s image of Snake was one of having a tough and athletic body like Jean-Claude Van Damme combined with the middle-aged nature of someone like Christopher Walken. As a result, he became something of a middle ground between the two.

Interviewer: I see. What was your work after Snake’s image was decided on?

Shinkawa: The truth is I had trouble designing his costume. At the beginning I was thinking of a conventional military uniform in blue urban camo. But then I thought it might had been a bit too careless to have Snake swim underwater wearing such a uniform. Since the story takes place in the near future, he ended up wearing a costume made of leather and waterproof material.

Interviewer: It’s an amazing attention to detail that you kept in mind Snake’s infiltration route when designing his costume. So there’s a scene where Snake is underwater? What happens if the Ninja lands in a pond or something?

Shinkawa: What would happen? Huh... He would spark up and then yell something like “Water! My weakness!” (laugh) Just kidding.

Interviewer: (laughs) I guess not.

Shinkawa: It’s hard to know when it comes to Mr. Kojima though...

Interviewer: Don’t worry about it. By the way, is there any behind-the-scenes stories about the game’s development.

Shinkawa: Yes. It’s not much of an inside story, but I drew Ninja in a train.

Interviewer: During a train ride?

Shinkawa: Yes, I drew him while riding a commuter train. I was stationed at Osaka at the time. Most of the people there not friendly, so I would spent time observing the college girls.

Interviewer: That’s pretty nice.

Shinkawa:I guess so. But the friendliness here is good though. But Tokyo doesn’t have such a thing, so it feels a bit lonely. How I should say this, but there’s something that could be described as “enjoying the reaction of people watching in my direction” that could be seen not just over there, but here too.

Interviewer: So that’s how you train your sense of observation!

Shinkawa: No, that’s not what I meant. (laughs)

Interviewer: Is there a type of woman that you like?

Shinkawa: I wonder about that.

Interviewer: I’m sorry, that was such a trite question. Let me rephrase that. Is there a particular celebrity that you like?

Shinkawa: I guess I have no choice. My type would be someone like Shinobu Nakayama.

Interviewer: Is that so? Personally I’m a fan of Yuki Uchida if you’re curious to know...

Shinkawa: Yeah, she’s not bad.

Interviewer: Ah!

Shinkawa: Well, let’s put that subject aside. The truth is that the character of Mei-Ling was actually modeled after Nakayama herself. I used to watch her drama series.

Interviewer: Ah! That’s such an interesting thing to learn. Now that you say that, Mei-Ling really does resemble Nakayama looking at her closely, doesn’t she?

Shinkawa: Mei-Ling was written to be a bubbly college girl. She tends heavily to my taste, since she’s in the right age range and has my ideal image.

Interviewer: That’s nice. Having your preferences tied directly to your job.

Shinkawa: It’s not just mine. The character of Dr. Naomi Hunter was made to suit Mr. Kojima’s preferences too.

Interviewer: I see. Huh? At this rate, will you have a type for everyone?

Shinkawa: That wasn’t the intention, but... (laughs)

Interviewer: When was this drawn?

Shinkawa: I think it was around the end of last year. Huh? Around six months ago. Time sure fly quickly! I drew it for a magazine ad.

Interviewer: I heard the Ninja was your idea.

Shinkawa:That’s right. But originally there was a trio. They would say something like “Worya! Trinity Attack!” and they were going to have random kanji characters on their backs such as flame (炎) or horse (馬) without any particular significance.

Interviewer: “Fire” doesn’t seem so unreasonable, but why “horse”?

Shinkawa: I’ve mentioned “horse” as a joke, but that sort of thing happens very often, doesn’t it? When it comes to the image of Japan from a foreign perspective, while the outline is the same, the finer details differ. I like that kind of thing. The finalized design of the Ninja is and isn’t a ninja. If nobody told you he was a ninja, you wouldn’t think of him as one. But if someone points out that he must be a ninja because he has some ninja-like parts if you look at him closely, then you might think of him as one.

Interviewer: Is that so? That’s the Shinkawa magic!

Shinkawa: (laughs) What’s that?

Interviewer: I think I’ve seen this artwork a long time ago.

Shinkawa: It was first published around a year ago.

Interviewer: I see. So why did you draw it like an American comic book?

Shinkawa: Well, in reality I was going for a BD-style. Doesn’t it look like that?

Interviewer: I’m sorry, but what does BD mean?

Shinkawa: It stands for bande dessinée, which is the term for graphic novels in France. It means “sequential art”.

Interviewer: Huh, I did not know. So, is there a particular reason why you chose the BD-style?

Shinkawa: Of course! There is a reason. While talking to Mr. Kojima during the early stages, he said “Alright! Let’s turn Metal Gear into B.D” as a conceptual image. So I drew a few illustrations like that. This one was used as promotional art.

Interviewer: I see. So that’s the reason. And this one was perfect for a promotional artwork. Huh! Why is Gatse Becker [the BCPD chief from Policenauts] there?

Shinkawa: That’s not him. (laughs) It’s the Secretary of Defense [Jim Houseman]... Jeez... (While saying this, Shinkawa’s mouse keeps hovering on Mei-Ling for some reason.)

Interviewer: (nervous face) Uhh... Mei-Ling’s skirt seems awfully short... By the way, will you be able to shake the female characters’ breasts like in Policenauts?

Shinkawa:...That’s classified information!

Interviewer: Well, here’s REX. Is there anything particularly different about this Metal Gear model?

Shinkawa: The Metal Gears in the previous two games had weak legs, so this new version has a strengthened lower body. During the initial planning I came up with several illustrations and settings, but the finalized version was settled pretty quickly.

Interviewer: How so?

Shinkawa: Since it was going to be turned into a polygon model, I made it into an actual model in order to solidify its conceptual image and verify its functions.

Interviewer: Is that so? Please show the model to me.

Shinkawa: Of course! REX was designed purely as a weapon, so it’s not exactly a heroic mecha. I decided on a dinosaur-like design like this one, since it conveyed a scary and grim image.

Shinkawa: There are three types of enemy soldiers shown here. From left to right: we have the light infantry, the heavy infantry and the arctic warfare soldier (nicknamed Yukinko by the developers). There’s also a gas mask-wearing fourth type.

Interviewer: Were you given any sort of references to use?

Shinkawa: I had books and photos that were given to me by Mr. Motosada Mori (MGS’s military advisor).

Interviewer: All the enemy soldiers have their faces covered up. Was that decided because they were terrorists?

Shinkawa: That’s certainly something that could be think of, but there’s actually more important reasons.

Interviewer: Huh? Explain!

Shinkawa: Simply put, we needed to reduce the number of polygons.

Interviewer: Is that really the reason?

Shinkawa: If you want to draw faces on your characters, you have to use quite a few polygons to get them to a satisfactory level, which ends up consuming too much resources. When taking into consideration the game as a whole, you got no choice but to trim certain parts. It’s a shame, but in the end I think the finalized designs suit the enemy soldiers better.

Interviewer: It’s a matter of balancing supply and demand. By the way, I really like the helmet worm by the Heavily Armed Troops. You don’t see them often in the game though.

Shinkawa: Well that helmet is an original design. Like everything, I try to keep things intuitive for game-playing purposes. The enemy soldiers are color-coded from left to right: brown, green and white, plus yellow for the gas mask-wearing soldiers.

Interviewer: There are indeed a variety of schemes. By the way, the arctic warfare soldiers are layered with clothing. Snake spends most of the game in arctic environments, but he isn’t wearing that much. Why is that?

Shinkawa: He’s wearing a high-tech suit.

Interviewer: You said it so bluntly... (laughs) One last nitpicky question. Who does the laundry in the base?

Shinkawa: They use a laundry machine. (laughs)

Metal Gear REX Model Photos

[moondoon]

Okay so uhhh heres my AU. I’m going to just copy and past for the most part what was posted on Amino. Keep in mind I wrote this all down last night while pulling an all nighter so lets go babe!! I super duper hope you think its a neat idea and I will post more on it later. tumblr wont let me upload any more images and im very mad right now!!!!! so dig through my blog for more. I have plenty and I will post more.

Anyways, lets start with Majora. The main big baddie of the actual game. My version of Majora is actually not technically a bad guy. Not even a guy at all. She is 20 ft tall, has a skull for a face, long whips that can slink out of her wrists, and 3 separate forms. Wrath being the final.

Her canon design is a tad eyesore so I decided to fix it up. Shes the one thing I am actually proud of in this whole AU thats why I started with her. The third eye on her head, and the eyes on her chest can move but rarely do. Theres no need.She’s extremely monster like and doesn’t necessarily think like you and I.Shes very powerful and all of that power is sealed away in the mask.Most of the events of Majoras mask still remain true to this AU, I simply add backstory and some characters.

I cant explain much of Majora until later when things get extra spicy but trust me she has more to her than just this.

so lets move onto Fierce.

This character I have a lot more to explain of, less to show. I draw him plenty you know who he is. He’s 8ft5, messy long hair that can be found braided, and has a bad attitude.

This fella is almost always angry and really just likes to intimidate people. He’s the kind of guy to throw hands before arguing. Prefers to work alone and doesn’t stick around for praise nor offerings.

The people of Termina respect Fierce, they try to avoid getting in his way. Where he refuses to harm and or interact with them currently (post game) they still refrain from distracting him.

Before the events of the game, before being sealed in the mask, he was a lot more interactive between the people of clocktown. He was a tad friendlier and actually had a few people he liked to visit from time to time.

Shortly after being sealed away unexpectedly for hundreds of years he realized its not worth the pain of losing the people he loves.

Hes going to be around for a long time and feels at this point, that its best he not make friends with mortals anymore.

He had a very close relationship with the deity of the Deku people, Odolwa. They were very close. Odolwa came in a long time ago back when the original god of Termina arrived. he is not related to Mr Termina but they respect eachother. Odolwa may be very old compared to Fierce but he gets along great with him, shares a love for big cool swords, and even will stay up at night with him from time to time and just hang out.

This god was made for Termina, to represent, and protect the people of Termina.

No matter what area they are from he was created to protect them. He is very active and can be seen wandering around both clocktown, and around Termina field until he is needed.

Fierce is uhh,,,, not quite ready for a job as big as this. Atleast not in the eyes of the true and current god.

This man does not quite have a name yet im working on it shh im gonna refer to him as many things.

He is very tall and very slender. He is dressed in long golden robes that almost look like a cape at times, and wears a lot of jewelry. He is the man who made fierce for one reason and one reason only. To replace him.

He’s been around for a very long time and watched over the people of this land.

Having the same type of authoritative intimidation as white diamond from SU, he stands very tall, moves very gracefully, shows no fear, and is constantly smiling.

There is a minor god who follows this man. He’s pretty much just backup who agrees with everything Mr.Termina says. Hes no where near as strong no where near as intimidating but he is his right hand man.

Mr.Termina and his Right hand man want to go run away and never come back to this hellhole. They want to be free to relax and no longer have duties of a god.

He creeped out a lot of people so uhhh,,,, he’s sort of been a holy being in the sky who watches rather than be a part of the people. They barely know him and by the time Fierce is made he is the only icon in their eyes.

Fierce was made to be just as powerful if not more powerful than this god. Pretty much just condensed and improved. Mr.Termina wanted him to have a mortal form so he can fit in better with humans rather than being a big scary monster/deity who would scare them away.

He has been keeping Fierce in check, cares little to nothing about sentimental value nor emotions and will even go as far as calling Fierce weak and or soft for a god. This really starts to corrupt and hurt him and he gets very self conscious about appearing as “weak” so he really tends to beat himself up. He’s sounding a tad mentally abusive towards his creation. This only makes Fierce hate him more and more each day.

He really just wants to make Fierce as perfect as he can be before passing the baton over to him but isnt doing it right.

Meaning, he can’t give him all of his powers at once. In fact he hasn’t taught him any out of fear that things wont be working out and fierce may kill him. Hes afraid of what he made lmao. This is why Fierce mostly stays in the physical strength area. He is a very strong man and does have some abilities that he doesn’t control. (Some healing factors)

Fierce has become kind of... rebellious? He’s acting more human than god. Granted hes an angry little man but but it should be expected considering he wanted him to fit in with the humans.

All of this was fine and dandy until Fierce was fed up with what this god was doing to him, killed his right hand man, and was banished to be a mask for a few hundred years. Pretty much papa put his son into timeout without letting him say goodbye to the people he loved back in clocktown.

All of this gods creations have a “if all else fails turn them into a mask so they cant harm me” thing. He cant turn anyone into a mask only his creations.

This is where link found him during the events of MM, used his mask, and set him free in the end of Majoras mask.

This not only benefited Fierce by him studying link and learning how to use magic blasts from his sword,(though he will never admit it) it revealed a dark secret about the old god. One that truly had Fierce scared, yet ready to kill the man.

I refuse to tell you what yet because I want to make more posts on this later on.

After chasing link off he pretty much spends his time lying low. He’s not supposed to be out of timeout. Hes trying his best to learn how to use any other powers he may have currently to be able to last longer than 5 minutes in a fight with the true god. Fierce wants this man dead. No retirement for him mwuahaha

He will attempt to forcefully take his place and do this job right and as much as he hates to make this horrible man proud by doing so, its the only way to save himself and people in the future. ________________________________________________________________ SO uh anyways thanks for reading i love you. I miiight take asks for this au? I certianly will be happy if anyones actually curious... just to help do something cause im not the best at story telling... I hope what I have posted makes sense. I love yall see ya later

[rwby-nwbe]

Hello Again!

I know I'm probably jumping the gun a bit, but I'm not an entire newbie to RWBY. It's just my first time running through the series properly.

Why do I bring this up? I uhh... might have already given myself a Semblance and a weapon?

I mean, anyone who's payed any attention to my blog has seen my weapon before, but as for my Semblance... well, then there's also something else I need to address.

Meet Mathewton... and Noilimrev

In case you need a refresher, I'm Mathewton, your standard unorthodox internet nerd and the guy on the left. As you can see, I'm not that impressive. You may be wondering who the guy on my right is. Well, that's Noilimrev Mathewton, but he goes by Rev for short. And before you ask:

Yes, I am aware that his last name is Mathewton. I wasn't in a creative mood at the time, but then I got attached to the name, so it stays.

You probably figured by now that Rev and I share a lot of physical resemblance. Well, let's just say that I was doing a lot of, erm... self-projecting when I was conceptualizing his character.

If you haven't realized by now, there is actually a reason why Rev's actual name is so weird, aside from this being RWBY, where nothing has to make sense so long as it isn't too outlandish. In this case, "Noilimrev" is Vermilion, which is another word for red, in reverse. See where I was going with this?

I won't reveal too much about Rev for now, but as for why he exists? Well...

Noilimrev Mathewton.

Noilimrev. Mathewton.

N.

NWBE.

The whole NWBE thing was meant to just be a fun little joke with RWBY's trademark acronym play, but then my brain went down several rabbit holes and, uh... now Team NWBE is a thing?

Well, will be a thing. Still sketching out the rest of the team... But enough of my rambling. It's about time I told you guys about my... well, OUR... Semblance.

And surprise, it doesn't look like much. Okay, that's probably because it's just a still image. In actuality, our Semblance, Maxstat, is probably on the better end of Semblances, at least in combat terms. Aside from giving off a really cool red glow (and in Rev's case, giving his dye job a surprising glow up), Maxstat increases the user's speed and stamina (aka defense). The kicker is that it does NOT increase strength. You basically become a super speedy iron wall when you use it.

However, the Semblance doesn't make the user invincible. If the user's Aura gets hit with an attack that normally would OHKO their Aura, their Aura won't break, but the Semblance will, and if the Semblance isn't back up in time, a strong enough attack will shatter their Aura. What's more, if a Maxstat user loses their heightened defense, they lose their super speed, too, so even if you can tank through attacks, it isn't always well advised...

Rev tries not to rely on his Semblance too much, anyway, so this wouldn't be a problem for him unless it's a desperate situation. And remember, Maxstat doesn't grant super strength, and you also feel EVERY OUNCE OF PAIN you get inflicted with, even if Maxstat negates it. So is the Semblance convenient? Yes. Is it a God-Tier power up? Not by a long shot.

With that lengthy explanation out of the way, let's talk about our weapon. You recognize what it is if you've seen my first post (or the blog header), so without further ado...

Heh... Blood Lion... I'm clever...

So, in essence, Sangre León is one hell of a combat staff. It can be split into dual batons, and is also equipped with concealed knives and multi-use prongs. By default, the knives are encased in fire dust, and lightning dust is used with the prongs to create tasers. Naturally, however, it can use all kinds of dust for either of these weapons, though that's a story for another time.

Either way, Rev or myself can use Sangre León as a standard whacking stick if we're in the mood. There's also the option of creating a dual bladed baton (or a one bladed naginata if we're in a samurai kind of mood). If you spin around the staff's batons to where the prongs are facing outward, you got yourself the world's most dangerous blaster!

Oh yeah. I should probably mention that because Sangre León doesn't have a standard gun mechanism like other RWBY weapons, it utilizes projectile combat in the form of thin shockwaves from the knives, or concentrated blasts from the prongs. We can't be close combat ALL the time.

Sangre León also has other niche capabilities, but I'll just leave it at that for now. If I actually had Sangre León, I'd need some time to learn how to actually use it, since I'm not proficient in any form of weaponry. Rev, on the other hand, has spent years learning and improving Sangre León to it's current state, so...

...yeah. Just don't square up to him in the middle of the night at a Denny's parking lot.

Welp, I'm just about finished rambling. Thank you for indulging me! Hopefully you'll get to see more of Rev and the other members of Team NWBE soon. Take care!

-Mathewton, the RWBY Newbie (15 March 2020)

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

old ol replies, this is long wow!

Anonymous said:

anyone who kins [name]  is condoning [whatever] behavior and that’s the tea :)

this tea is dumb and hot garbage and knows jack shit about fictionkinity go join it in the trash thank you!

How does this even work? Do you think people awaken as their tintype and suddenly go full asshole? Hmm, I’m Komaeda kin, time to go make a kin sideblog dedicated to [read wiki page] [oh that’s too much to read never mind] uhhhh komaeda kin blogging around fingers in bee hives and unironically encouraging others to murder people? Or whatever the killing game plot is about?? Maybe that makes sense to you if you personally do that, which is why you sent this as if it made any damn sense!

anonymous asked:

hey uhh I know I just submitted them but could you maybe delete the two asks with this emoji in them 📖? I was freaking out but I think I realized they’re not my canon………I think

ok! i deleted  the second one, but i’m not sure if we ever got the first part? just fyi that something might have set off the spam detection!

anonymous asked:

ugh god i just sent in something talking about how i hate name  and talking about … death/etc. (sorry tis a real bummer) and it was also supposed to be two parts but i just immediately regret sending the first half so can you delete that. thank you.

It’s been sent to the deleted zone!

Anonymous said:

any other source out there?? i know im probably not the best to reunite with, not regretting my actions at all and being rather detached from it emotionally, but my door is here for knocking. - name  (also canon divergent! of course! lord wont let me die!) #customtag

This is not a call blog, please do not ask if there are others of the same source, or for them to contact you! If you are looking for peoples, there’s a brief list of call blogs here: https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/seekin

Anonymous said:

hi mpc! is there any way you could tag /post/187038502128/ as like.. unreality or something? sorry if this is weird dbhdjdbh

Nah, not weird! It’s tagged with unreality cw and paranoia cw now! Sorry about that, I took it to mean an in joke for their source!

Anonymous said:

To any strifes doubles out there, stay strong i know some of you are struggling because your parvs were abusive like mine but the fandom romanticizes the relationship a lot, your experiences are valid and even if you think you deserved it because we were capitalist shits, we didn’t, don’t let parvis gaslight you more and tell you that its love, it is not, and to any parvs? Just, don’t be evil, I know you’ll argue the blood magic made you do it, which is bull, but whatever. Just don’t do it again

Is this faction or something else? It’s just bringing up yogscast stuff?

Anonymous said:

hi! i made a server for duckverse kins, the discord link is discord(.)123456789 ! can you promo it?

We don’t promo random discord links because of reasons listed on the Promo Request page: https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/promo

[but basically we don’t want to send people to random discord servers lest they’re troll servers filled with shock images or set, or run by known Terrible Jerk people who want to prey on unsuspecting ducks! Not that you are one of these persons, but some attempt at accountability should be at play here! Safety first!

Anonymous said:

A lot of people in the kin community need to realize that non-kin are allowed to ship things. … Being kin doesn’t give you the authority to tell anyone how to enjoy things. Grow up.

Actually it does! I hereby ban you from shipping anything ever again! Good day!

Anonymous said:

I wonder if anyone would be interested in an source kin discord? I would like to make one but I don’t know how much traffic it would get…. -name

Please, no interest checks! If you’d like, please make a server and we’ll promo it here!

Anonymous said:

I’m really sorry but could you change ‘Lanchan’ in the tags of the post 186950243373 to Lancelot? Thank you in advance.

Anonymous said:

did you get an ask with a request to fix the tags on the confession from Lancelot? another thing I sent had been posted a while ago so I’ve been wondering if it got eaten

This got a little buried but hell yeah, it’s changed!

mod party cat!

[uniformbravo]

me trying to make a gif part 2 (thrilling finale, buildup ver.)

ok good news and bad news: good news being withheld for Spoilers (not that it’s that hard to guess anyway lol), bad news explained first bc, chronologically, it is first

so yesterday i mentioned in the tags of that post that i had seen that krita has an animation feature so i was gonna try importing the frames into that and then exporting it as a gif. easier said than done, as it turns out

i started by opening the file i made yesterday with 62 layers as the frames and importing that into krita, which worked fine (i didn’t know you could actually open .psd files in clip stuido ((this typo is so fucking stupid it made me laugh so im leaving it)) and krita, so that’s pretty neat, i wonder if it works the other way around too) but i ran into problems when i tried to convert those layers into frames in an animation. because, like, the layout of the program has the layers displayed in one tab, and the animation timeline in another, like so:

(do u like how im using pictures now, i thought of that yesterday after i published the other post and realized hey, visual reference would probably make my plight a lot easier to understand!! so enjoy these educational diagrams from now on)

so my goal was to get the frames from the layers into the timeline, and i still don’t know if i did it right bc lbr krita is not very intuitive at all,,.,, i mean i watched a video tutorial abt how to animate in krita which was v helpful (it’s the one by jesse j james on yt fuckin SHout out) but it was about animating from scratch, not importing an animation you’ve already done elsewhere

so like, the way krita’s animation thing works, from what i could piece together as i bumbled my way around w/ it, is that each layer in the layers tab is a separate timeline in the,,, timeline tab

i want them all to be in the same timeline, not separate ones, and there’s no way to combine them in the timeline tab bc doing that just overwrites whatever layer you’re pasting it down onto, and also if you define the number of frames for that timeline (62 for this project) it just puts the single image of that layer for all of the frames instead of just one of them, so you’d have to go through and delete all the other frames you don’t want it to be, which would be such a fuckin pain

so i found a workaround, which is so tedious that it can’t be the right way to do it, but basically i started w/ layer 1 and defined 62 frames & then emptied frames 2-62, like this

(that blue box is the frame, btw, even tho it says 0, which actually kind of annoys me like why doesn’t it start the first frame on 1????)

from there i went up to layer two and selected that in the timeline, but for some reason the frame doesn’t show up automatically?

& i couldnt fuckin figure out how to make it into like, an Official Timeline Layer or whatever tf bc like, u see on layer 1 how theres that little lightbulb-looking icon on the right? that’s for turning on onion skin which only applies when you actually have frames with things drawn on them, so basically layer 2 in the layers tab has a drawing but in the timeline it doesn’t?

i didn’t find out what the actual reason for this is or how you’re /supposed/ to make the frame appear in the timeline, but what i did was right click on layer 2′s timeline & select “create blank frame” which magically made the frame i want appear

but it’s on top of the layer 1 frame, and i want it to be the frame after. also it’s still in a different timeline. this is the only easy fix in this whole damn process, u can literally just click & drag the frame from layer 2 to layer 1 and put it wherever u want on the timeline

and then u just delete layer 2 and that’s it, frame transferred!! then i just had to do that for 60 more layers and after [unspecified amount of time but it was a fuckin while ok] my timeline looked like this!

(the gaps near the end are held frames, to save me time so i didn’t have to copy a bunch of frames that were exactly the same)

krita is great because as far as i know ur animation can have an unlimited number of frames, at the risk of your own pc’s processing power, which is a definite upside to SOME expensive art programs i know (clip studio, i’m talking abt csp) and u can pick the frame rate too (cough photoshop elements 5.0 even tho u dont technically have an animation feature & it’s a miracle u can even make gifs at all) so once i finally got all the frames situated all nice and in order like on the same timeline, playing it was great! played at the right speed, looped perfectly, it was a dream come true right

well, time to export it as a gif

ha

haha

hoooo oo  o

so u got 2 options for exporting ur animation, u can either hit “export,” which lets u save it as different file types, one of which being gif, or you can hit “render,” which gives you gif and video options

well

i tried export first, bc that seemed like a good idea, but the “””gif””” it made was distinctly not a gif, despite its claim to be one?? this is what i got:

notice: 1. it is not moving, and 2. the black bars to the sides?? those are supposed to be transparent. they’re transparent in the file i made so why didn’t they register as transparent in the export, when gifs have transparency capabilities??

so That was some real live bullshit but i still had the “render” option, right? export was wrong, so rrender must be the correct option to go to that will produce the results i am wanting to see produced in front of me like a silver dinner platter with a correctly functioning gif under the lid, that’s what i want to see and “Render Animation...” is gonna Give me that silver platter righWRONG ok look at this shit rn ok Look

it says GIF it says it RIGHT THERE right??? right?????? then WHY

?????????????

and it also gave me all This bullshit

like did i ask?? did i fucking ask???? i already have all the individual frames why do i need even M o re i mfjgjgk

((rationally ok yea thats v useful for if ur making the animation in krita and want to export the frames to use elsewhere, but like uhhh 1. again, they’re not transparent & 2. i should have the option of saying i don’t want these??? bc *meme voice* i don’t want these)

so in the end i could find NO correct method of exporting animations as a gif in krita bc every ooption that says gif is fuckign LYING to ur face there are NO gifs in krita, aliens made the progam who looked at gifs and went “hmm i thikng this is how a gif works “ and just made jpegs instead but somehow got on the computers good side and got it to lie for them about it being a gif so thats why it says gif on the file still even tho its not a gif illimati confinr

so what is the conclusion to this? well i said there was good news too, and this is the portion where i divulge that sweet nectar (i type dthis 2 seconds ago and @ me what the fuck)

so after wasting a good 2 hours trying to figure out krita i gave up and watched some good old [youtuber name redacted bc what if it shows up in search & ppl see this dumbass post in there but it rhymes with fjackfsepticfeye] to relax into accepting my fate that i’ll never be able to upload my animations to tungle except in poor quality loopless video form, making me into a laughing stock on my own art blog, but THEN i had a stroke of genius, in my Brain

so if u read yesterday’s post u might remember that flipnote studio, the animation program i use on my ds, to animate, has the option to export files as gifs, both animated and sequential (meaning either as one fully animated gif or each individual frame separately), which is super convenient, but as i mentioned yesterday, any time i tried to open the folder with those files on my laptop, it crashed immediately

WELL today i thought “hey, how about instead of opening the folder in the sd card when it’s plugged in, how about i copy that folder from the sd card to my flash drive, and try to open it there, in case it’s the card’s hardware that’s causing the problem, not corrupted files”

so i tried that and it FUCKING WORKED THANK GOD GLORY HALLELUJAH

so now instead of spedning A THOUSAND YEARS trying and failing to force art programs to bend to my will i can just export the animations straight from my ds and drag them onto my computer Just As God Intended oh GOD im so fucking happy

here’s the gif in the end, i’m gonna post it to my art blog too but this is the Green Version bc i animate in green bc of some default settings in flipnote that i got used to, plus it makes me feel like i’m just sketching so nothing really has to be finalized so i’m comfortable while i work, and also it’s just nice ok it’s a Nice Green

(there’s a few frames at the end that are like the extra scraps from while i was working dw i got rid of those in the final version that i’m posting to my art blog later. also i added my blog url to that one too it’s aaaaaall good)

the only downside to this method is that i can’t change the canvas size to be 540px wide to fit with tumbrl s image dimensions but whatever i can just post them in a text post and fix the html to display it at its original size instead of the resizing bullshit tmurbl pulls constantly ugh. anyway it works great on desktop but it’s inevitably gonna look like shit on mobile no matter what i do *Big Ass Shrug*

anyway thats the end of my success story uhh i can’t make the like comment & subscribe joke again bc i already did that in the last post so like bye i guess thanks 4 watchign & have a great day i’ll see u in my next fvideo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYob4uDjEKI&t=0s

(^that’s my outro music)