#neil josten you will always be loved by me

[ninyard]

polyglot neil is always my favorite

-🐏🐏

ALWAYS. and i know maybeeeee its unrealistic to keep imagining him learning more and more languages but also he has never in his life had a chance to have a hobby and he needs something to keep him entertained outside of exy and andrew. so to ME neil josten never stops learning languages and wants to know at least a little bit of almost every language in the world. somehow.

rip neil josten you would have loved duolingo

[uslostinthememories]

I have read All for the game at least 3 times before this reread so some tell me

HOW DID I FORGOT ABOUT THIS?!?!!!?! HOW?!?? I'M SPEECHLESS RN HE'S INSANE

[02511213942]

Show us a little drawing of Neil ...pls ? Neil save me ....

yessir!!!!! 3 neil layers from an old sketch doc

[joejhang]

kevin day is really doing god's work out here pairing up these exy players at the end of their rope. like first andreil and now jerejean?? give my man his bread.

[mysteriouslotuscasebook]

[nothatsmi]

Considering you too are a fan of two very good book series (aftg and trc) do you happen to have any recs?

Hi Thank you for your trust.

I wouldn't say I have a rec that's in the same vibe as these two but i DO have a book rec, I read this a few weeks ago and it's really really really good, now please welcome on stage

The charioteer, by Mary Renault

It's a queer 1953 novel with everything one needs (hospitalized soldiers, male nurses, pretentious and/or mentally unstable queer friends, poetry books, windy countryside, sailors).

I would make fanart of it if I had free time. Hopefully someday I will.

Anyway, go read the the book, its's 100% worth it.

[lizandreil]

i love how neil is canonically good looking and andrew is average guy tm but this fandom went “yeah but how about we draw him as the most beautiful guy ever instead”. and you know what? that’s how neil sees him. he’s gorgeous to andrew because neil is smitten for who andrew is and his personality since he doesn’t care about the looks, and i think it’s beautiful.

[rekikiri]

one of the things that bothers me with raven AUs is when neil is supposedly bitter about kevin leaving.

I do not believe for a second that if neil were in the nest and witnessing everything, that he’d truly be mad at kevin for leaving. neil would know that he’s property, that he can’t leave, but kevin can.

mr “one of us had to make it and I wanted it to be you” josten, who said this to kevin after knowing him a year and only being at the nest for christmas break, would never feel that way after growing up with kevin in the nest for most of his life

[0310foxy]

It's always 'I love you' and never "your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not a news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said I would keep you alive. I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it. On that day you are not going to run. You're are going think about what I promised you and you're going to make that call. Tell me you understand." and it shows.

[heybabyricecake]

I would have to say my favorite character of all time is Andrew Minyard, my favorite *main character* of all time is Neil Josten. There’s an important distinction.

Andrew is one of the best characters I’ve ever seen written. His moral compass is skewed but it also makes perfect sense once you understand him. He’s deeply complex and layered and for someone always portrayed as strong he’s also kind of a mess. His past is so disturbing but it makes his values in different relationships clear and healthy and he communicates that well. He’s violent and dangerous and GOOD to his core, he protects everyone and he had an impossible hand dealt to him in life but somehow he makes it work. He has major trauma and ptsd and touch aversion and he works to better himself, he has one of the best relationships with the team psychiatrist and one of the most interesting sibling/family dynamics out there. Add to that the fact that he’s funny and he’s the best goalkeeper in his sport without even trying and you have one of the most thought provoking and beloved characters of all time.

Neil as the *main character* was absolute perfection. He’s a liar and a fraud and he has little to no remorse for his actions especially at first. He loves one thing so strongly (Exy) but has one of the best character developments ever written as he learns to trust the Foxes and Andrew. Watching him fall in love was comedy gold given his obliviousness and demisexuality. He’s so lovable right from the start and he’s FUNNY as fuck. He’s also brave and he grows so much over the course of three books as he learns to protect others and stand up for himself. He’s such a great narrator and his character is so consistent and simultaneously unhinged. His backstory pulls you in and makes you keep reading long past any plot holes or timeline inconsistencies. He’s so instantly lovable and was the perfect pov to experience these books from.

Rambling but these are my thoughts

Don’t even get me started on Kevin

[adamsrcnan]

OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

2/?

📜 realexyblog

haiku because exy is back:

GOD, why are my teams

SO fucking bad at exy?

FUCK this FUCKING sport.

#and i watch sports for why? entertainment? no way

243 notes

♛ queen-of-exy

I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! KEVIN DAY IS A QUEEN SHES LITERALLY A QUEEN ITS ON HER FACE

💃fox-me-up follow

queen on the court, pillow princess on the mattress amiright

♛ queen-of-exy

ive never felt more understood, I am kissing you w tongue

#marry me tumblr user fox me up

411 notes

🌞 blonde-jeremy-knox

i'm just gonna say it. i know we're all thinking it. jeremy knox eats ass like it's his JOB.

👁 jean-mor-uhoh

babe literally no one was thinking that but i'm proud of you for speaking your truth

#we're friends but what cost. when all u talk about is jeremy knox eating ass.

31 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

#dan wilds #psu

205 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

He lived. He served cunt. He died. He was Resurrected. Served more cunt.

#kevin day

605 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

absolutely busted a fucking nut watching kevin day switch hands like that oh my god my nut was so forceful it created a new dimension.

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

hey can i join you in that dimension

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

Sure, just bring some snacks or something

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

hell yeah!!!!!!

#thanks youre the best do you like doritos?

197 notes

😎 foxyknoxy

the best exy team in the nation is a LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE how many of those students even go to the games when your school is full of artists and theater kids. your student section must be wACK

😎 foxyknoxy

*sorry, 2nd best exy team in the nation

#fuck you theater kids!!!!!!!! can't even appreciate a good sport !!!!! anyway go trojans

99 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard should get a little bite and chew. As a reward. Maybe a small gnaw. nomnomnom Maaaaaybe as a treat he can rip a throat out, but only if he's really really good

#only if he's REALLY GOOD and maybe tests negative for rabies but whatever you can't win em all

126 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

favourite exy rarepair????

☀️ usctrojanny

ACTUALLY !!!!! was thinking about this earlier and while ive never seen anyone talk about it.......aaron minyard and neil josten would be 👀 kinda cute???

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

omg wait why have I never thought about guys before!!!!!!!! noooo why did you say this, i can totally see it!!!!!! Neil would probably have to lean down to kiss aaron 🥺 do u think he has ever had to lean down to kiss someone 😭

☀️ usctrojanny

And obviously, u know me, im always here for a striker/backliner matchup

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

this is all i'm going to think about for the rest of my life now, thanks, fuck you

139 notes

👅 nastyneiljosten

I want to put neil josten in a jar and shake the jar so violently he turns into sludge and then pour a drop of that sludge on to a petri dish so I can see what kind of bacteria he produces.

🦩 exyonmymind follow

what happens to the rest of the sludge?

👅 nastyneiljosten

*sluuuuuuurp* *swallowing sounds* *sluuuurp* *gargle gargle* *more swallowing sounds* yummy yummy in my tummy

487 notes

🐋 sexyexy

headcannon that neil josten is so feral bc andrew bit him and gave him rabies so now he's a literal rabid dog

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

You can't make headcannons about real people don't be freaks

🐋 sexyexy

exy players aren't real they're my little dolls that I can put into any situations I want and you can't stop me

#thanks anyway did u know andrew minyard gave neil josten rabies

143 notes

🧸 mreow-bearcats-mreow

ARE THOSE REFS FUCKING BLIND ????????!

#exy lb

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

Kiss cams are only acceptable during sporting events if they zoom in on two players

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

ok but what if they're wearing a face mask

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

smash your cages together obviously, don't be a pussy #love wins

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

fair enough

890 notes

🌸 softexy

Andrew and Aaron Minyard

#exy #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #palmetto foxes #psu #web weave #poetry

2,040 notes

[film-in-my-soul]

tremor | 1,730 | badacts / @badacts

Summary: “Do I need to take you to the emergency room?” Andrew asks, feeling his eyebrows creep up.

a way (the find one/make one remix) | 2,561 | badacts

Summary: Neil dies. Andrew does deals with gods so he can drag him back.

(see more recommendations below!)

here | 1,191 | mostly_maudlin / @mostlymaudlin

Summary: It takes about a year for Neil to find the pattern, and once he does, he wonders how he didn’t notice it sooner.

brie my baby | 1,530 | moonix / @annawrites

Summary: Neil posts a Craigslist ad looking for someone to go on a date with, just to find out what it's like. Andrew plans to give it his best shot and ends up getting thoroughly romanced himself.

when the lights go out | 1,705 | flybbfly / @wilsherejack

Summary: Neil wakes up gasping in a bed next to Andrew, unsure if in this lifetime they love or hate each other, are meant to murder or save, and Andrew rolls over and presses closer to Neil in his sleep. His armbands, some form of them omnipresent in every lifetime, are poking out from beneath a pillow.

True Crime | 1,789 | mostly_maudlin / @mostlymaudlin

Summary: All Andrew needed was the WiFi password.

Bookstore Break-In | 1,833 | takitalks

Summary: Andrew's minding his own business, lurking after hours in his bookstore when Neil Josten breaks in and upends his peaceful evening.

worth it | 1,960 | mostly_maudlin / @mostlymaudlin

Summary: “What makes you think I want you fighting on my behalf?” Andrew asks. Neil pulls the ice pack from his face, features tightening with a new spark of anger. “What makes you think I care if you want me to?” he asks. “It’s my choice. And I will always choose to fight for you.”

Nothing Is Fine | 2,161 | mostly_maudlin

Summary: It’s not good, not at all, not for Andrew, or for this foul-mouthed FBI agent telling him to “forget about Neil Josten,” or for Wymack standing between them in this Baltimore motel room. Oh, sir, don’t you know how hard Andrew has tried to forget Neil? Don’t you know that boy is an expert in getting under people's skin? Andrew’s knuckles itch to clutch scarred shoulder, to brush against auburn hair, but they’ll settle for crunching against this fucking agent’s nose.

hypocorisms | 2,183 | mostly_maudlin / @mostlymaudlin

Summary: Three times Andrew calls Neil “rabbit,” and one time he calls him “bunny.”

Like Holding A Knife By The Blade | 2,663 | sambutwithbooks

Summary: “Rough day?” Neil asks, the upturn of his tone making it into a question. He’s being handled with kid gloves and the itching feeling under his skin ignites into fury. When Neil goes to reach for the half-finished cigarette, Andrew jerks his hand away with a scowl.  “Guess that answers that,” Neil says, too at ease in the face of his childishness. “What’s wrong?” Andrew makes a noise, something derisive and mean. He’s been on edge for days now, the loop of Neil’s voice playing between his ears- how casual and sincere he’d sounded despite the lie on his lips. I love you. 

transmission | 2,828 | badacts / @badacts

Summary: Living alone is more of an adjustment than Neil likes to admit. Or, 5 times they talk on the phone and one time they don't.

anywhere. everywhere. | 2,968 | moonix / @annawrites

Summary: In a moment of desperation, Neil summons a demon to protect him from his father - and gets a little more than he bargained for.

staff recommendation | 3,151 | flybbfly / @wilsherejack

Summary: Andrew works at a bookstore. Neil stumbles in during a bad storm.

long way up | 3,498 | moonix

Summary: “You have an awful lot of ideas about what I shouldn’t do,” he says, gaze rolling down Neil’s body like a single raindrop. “Yet I don’t even know your name.” “It’s Neil. And you’re the one who was about to jump off the roof.” “Was I?” The man says. “I don’t recall. Andrew.”

cover me (the enchanted ink remix) | 3,679 | lolainslackss / @lolainslackss

Summary: Andrew's very specific brand of witch-craft involves enchanting ink to create magical tattoos. Neil Josten has some dark magic scarring he wants covered up.

Bleeding Hearts | 3,796 | fuzzballsheltiepants / @fuzzballsheltiepants

Summary: An excessively attractive stranger comes into Andrew's bookstore looking for warmth after giving his coat away to a man in need. Extremely bad flirting ensues.

every time you curse my name | 4,011 | djhedy

Summary: minyard, when I said you have to make a twitter account, I did not mean make one and don’t use it. What a shame for you that you did not stipulate that in my contract.

at war with peace | 4,135 | wyverning

Summary: Only Neil fucking Josten could turn a break-up attempt into a proposal.

Jinxed All The Way | 4,165 | moonix / @annawrites

Summary: Andrew is the local reclusive curse-breaker. Neil has a knack for getting himself hexed, but it's been happening suspiciously often lately, even for him.

boyfriend privileges | 4,199 | mostly_maudlin / @mostlymaudlin

Summary: Andrew knows he treats Neil different. So why is it so bothersome that everyone else seems to know it, too? Five times Neil gets boyfriend privileges, and one time it doesn't piss Andrew off.

told me everything about you (that's a bold move) | 4,258 | Talls / @tallsinspace

Summary: Social misfit with flighty tendencies seeks email correspondence with someone who doesn’t like small talk and doesn’t ask personal questions. I don’t really know who would respond to something like this, but if you’ve ever been so alone that you knew for a fact that dying would have a net zero impact on the world, my email address is abramnewemail@hotmail.com and I want to know what you think makes people cruel.

Champion | 4,306 | exactly13percent_OLD (hymbeaux) / @evanfixes

Summary: Being a gymnast is not something that typically requires running. It's also not for people that are afraid of heights. Neil and Andrew really fucked themselves over. Maybe there's one good thing that can come out of it, though. Maybe meeting each other is enough.

if my love can hold you (i'll keep you with me) | 4,345 | Fortheloveofexy / @fortheloveofexy

Summary: Andrew isn’t stupid. He knows Neil is touch starved. He’s noticed the way Neil melts under him when they kiss, the way he stills and shivers at Andrew’s fingers sliding under his shirt. He’s noticed the uncertain hunger in Neil’s gaze when Andrew pulls away after getting both of them off. Like he wants something more, but he doesn’t quite know how to ask for it. And that’s the problem, isn’t it? Neil doesn’t ask for it. Or at least, he doesn’t ask Andrew.

your crown of thorns holds roses | 4,390 | quensty / @quensty

Summary: Three days after he signs his death sentence to Palmetto State, five after Andrew Minyard knocks him breathless to the ground, Neil's gaze snaps to the locker room mirror and stares, frozen, at the word threat scrawled along his spine in terrifying bold. All in all, he isn’t thrilled about the situation this puts him in, but based off the negative connotation, it isn’t one-sided, either. On the bright side, at least this means his soulmate doesn’t harbor any delusions of grandeur.

drape me in your warmth | 5,002 | queermccoy

Summary: Neil liked this apartment because the floors were even and the landlord was just as allergic to background checks as he was. Neil handed him a wad of cash for the first six months upfront and the rough-looking middle aged man had just sucked on his teeth and said, "what even is a credit score, anyway,” before slapping the lease down on the empty kitchen counter. He'd added, "The previous tenant offed himself" and "did Neil want to keep the kitchen island he left behind?" Neil said he did, that he didn't have a lot of furniture of his own. Might as well. He signed the lease under his newest name, Neil Josten, and then immediately went out to get his locks changed.

thorn in my skin | 5,861 | ephemeralsky / @nakasomethingkun

Summary: These days, both of them are able to sleep on the same bed without any weapons underneath their pillows and on their person, and Andrew is not sure what he wants to do with this knowledge. They have poured years into forging their armors, and now they are stripping them, piece by tattered piece.

can i get a kiss (can you make it last forever) | 8,995 | Talls / @tallsinspace

Summary: “I’m obsessive about everything,” Neil protests, sitting in a booth with the four upperclassmen he can stand. “What makes this obsession special?” “Okay, we get the Exy obsession, because you’re legitimately planning on going pro, and we get the Kevin obsession because he’s dedicated to teaching you to go pro, and we even get the Minyard obsession,” Dan says. “Shh,” Neil pleads desperately, hoping beyond hope that nobody heard that. “But the podcast has nothing to do with Exy! It’s half about music, and you don’t even like music that much,” Dan says. “It’s literally just music and a really weird guy talking about his homicidal impulses, and it sorta sounds like a joke, but on a much more real level it sounds like it’s absolutely not a joke and I would call the authorities if this guy gave any personal details at all,” Dan says. “It’s mostly a joke,” Neil offers, but it sounds weak to his own ears.

wingpeople | 11,308 | likearecord

Summary: I mean, what else could Nicky have done when he spotted Andrew smiling at the hot guy making his coffee? Not meddle? Not get all the Foxes on board? It's like you don't even know him.

eat the rich | 11,421 | bazookajo94 / @bazookajo94

Summary: A group of amateur thieves kidnap a senator’s son to ransom him for money. The senator’s son doesn’t want to go back.

cocoa dust | 22,319 | djhedy

Summary: Neil had seen the guy around campus a few times. It was hard not to. The exy team stood out. Or those three did, anyway. The twins with their shock-white blond hair and perpetual resting bastard face, and Kevin Day, the number 2 arrogantly tattooed on a high cheekbone, flanked as usual by at least one of the twins. And Neil knew their reputation. It’s why he stayed away.

under the kitchen lights (you still look like dynamite) | 26,365 | ephemeralsky / @nakasomethingkun

Summary: “Besides, you’re not a stranger,” Neil says. “You did not know my name until a minute ago,” Andrew points out. “I’ve been petting your cat everyday for the past month, though.” “That does not make us friends.” “I didn’t say we were.” Neil tilts his head, the hint of a smirk on his lips. “We’re neighbors.” (Andrew's recent Google search history: ambient sounds to help you sleep, what qualifies you for a service dog, why do cats like to sit in boxes, daily horoscope scorpio, does quoting shakespeare mean you're being flirted with, buzzfeed quizzes food, how to be neighborly)

2024 Reclists · INBOX · Blog Updates

[codename-adler]

musing about jeanaaron rn.... what are your thinkings about them tell me anything

an exception from my to-do list for u orpheus and my loves Jeanaaron <3

- the height difference is EXQUISITE. 5ft vs 6ft2 ��😍😍

- backliner duo backliner tension backliner sync backliner soul

- i understand and read Aaron as a very no bullshit guy, but like, that’s it. he’s not mean about it, not cruel, not condescending, not teasing, not fake, not anything. (unless u are Neil Josten) i think that it’s very refreshing and fascinating to Jean? to meet someone who really has no ulterior motives whatsoever, in life and with his person. very trust material in Jean’s eyes methinks. the very just middle between overly sweet positivity and stabbing despair? idk, i just think Aaron shared Andrew’s honesty, but in a more neutral, idgaf way. does that make sense?

- Aaron tends to Jean’s woundssssss like no one ever has before and there is so much less pain!!!

- Jean cracks Aaron open right down the middle where nobody ever bothered to lookkkkk and there is so much more understanding!!!

- i like the Kevaaron vibe of revenge, like: you took my forever partner, i’m stealing your twin! or; you chose that moldy ginger snap, i’m choosing the same brand of bastard but he is TALL! it’s funny to me :)

- the patience they have for one another is infinite; they feel no rush, no pressure, no resentment. they would wait eternities for just one smile from the other, even if that’s all they would ever get.

- the quiet is important. silence without anticipation? a reprieve of the noise inside and outside? freely? i think they’re both silent people, but with one another there’s no forcing words, no expectations, no waiting for the other shoe to drop. the safest place where everything just stops and all is okay.

- CUDDLES. they are both hardcore heavy duty octopi in bed. holding tight tight tight tight no space all warmth. intertwined like bonsai roots.

- they looooooove to judge people together!!! especially their teammates and classmates. but the grocery store and airport are fun places too.

- i think they should learn to play instruments together. it would be very sexy. and angsty.

- i imagine them taking turns cooking, always one manning the kitchen, and the other sitting on the countertop. the kicking-against-the-cupboard-or-island length varies, but not the domesticity and intimacy of it all.

- Jean is the best teacher Aaron has ever had. for studying AND Exy. Jean is the best backliner, yes, but has that je-ne-sais-quoi that just gets through to Aaron, that just gets Aaron

- Aaron is also suchhhh a sucker for validation and making Jean proud is his #1 kink

- i think Catalina is so much like Katelyn (and woah would u look at that, such similar names 👀) that she instantly takes a liking to Aaron too, and Aaron as well right back despite his best efforts, and Jean is so touched that his bestfriend has adopted Aaron like she did with him, like he truly can have everything 🥹

- Jean immensely appreciate that Aaron is among the very very few people who does not shit on Kevin, but doesn’t worship him either.

- for what Neil did for Jean, Aaron truly starts to resent him less and less thanks to Jean offering a less idealistic vision of Neil that Andrew and the Foxes all share, but showing him Neil’s true colors that can also be good despite their violence.

- Jeanaaron on the motorcycle??? tiny beefcake plastered to Jean’s muscly broad back??? HELLO???

- back to the honesty think, i think where Jeanaaron differs from Kevaaron and is instead more similar to Andreil, is that the walls have to be taken down very painstakingly; Kevin and Aaron already know each other and have seen each others worse, there’s no armour to go through; Jean and Aaron don’t know each other at first, but they understand each other like no one, so it’s a game of truth too, one at a time, tearing down those barriers and touching that soft true heart behind; what makes them panic, what makes them scream, what plagues their nights and days, what lures in their past… it’s a whole new process of dealing with your trauma when no one else could ever handle it, much less want to look at it and kiss it better anyway.

also dusting off me old old playlist i had made for them, just for you:

take me home + 100 bandaids are really my jeanaaron anthems

[sadiehasaheart]

it's always "I love you" and never "your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep your alive. I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it. On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make that call. Tell me you understand" and it shows.

[raines-reads]

Jean and Neil devastate me and here’s why

Jean and Neil are a promised pair. In a million ways, they are meant exist as two sides to the same coin, and even in the face of the fact that this promise has been broken, they are too alike for anyone to ever disregard the possibility of what if.

Neil Josten, is nothing. Jean Moreau, is nothing more than what he is.

Neil and Jean are mouthy players with an attitude problem and a debilitating wariness of adult figures. They are French-speaking menaces whose background muzzles them and turns them into liars. They are sold property whose singular source of familial love has been killed by a world of crime that they had no part in. Neil and Jean are young men whose survival instinct have been warped by the abuse they’ve suffered—men who think that their survival is a tenuous, fragile figment that will one day escape them.

Jean and Neil, who encountered the green-eyed boy with the number two on his face and found the will to survive. Who aren’t allowed to look at others that way but who find themselves beholden to a stubborn blond and somehow manage their slow trek out of hell. Jean and Neil, who needed each other to survive during their brief and tumultuous partnership in the Nest. Jean and Neil, who are owned by the same family under a new master, but are learning that the confines of their cage are farther than they’d ever imagined.

You look at them and you think, what would they have been like as a true pairing? We read between the lines to understand their careful and begrudging fraternity, and we take these small moments between them as a way to glimpse into whatever complex knot of connection they’ve amassed between each other.

But Neil was saved by a mother’s love, and Jean had been leashed too tightly to be spared half a decade of despair. Jean and Neil are the picture of what the other could have been, in an alternate life, and in this way, their connection slides into place in an unspoken, irrefutable way.

Jean says, I want to go Home, and Neil, who has learned what Home means to people like them, would evade the cops a little longer, piss off the Moriyamas a little more, if it meant offering Jean that sliver of peace.

There is so much potential between Neil and Jean, but it can never be fully realized. They were both a part of a broken Perfect Court, and it will always be the thing that both binds them and divides them.