#neil x reader tenet fluff

[imaginedisish]

Devil’s Advocate (Tenet) Neil x Reader

Chapter 3: North American Scum

A/N: Hi guys! Here is chapter 3!!! I feel like it could have been better, but I really started feeling it at the end (and I think you can tell) Enjoy ahhh!! (and yes, the title of this is one big LCD Sound System Reference :))

Summary: You and Neil are sent on your first mission, but things get incredibly messy, as they always do. 

Warnings: Guns, gun wounds, death, cursing, angst, and that’s about it!

Word Count: 5,765... If anyone wants to teach ya girl how to do the “read more” thing that would be fantastic...

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2

Sunlight pours through the small crack in the curtains. Your stomach is pressed up against the mattress. You shift around underneath the sheets, but an arm is wrapped around your body, keeping you in place. You inhale deeply, and the smell of his cologne fills your lungs.

Neil. You keep your eyes shut, reveling in his touch. He rustles a bit, and you feel yourself being pulled in closer to his chest. You maneuver onto your side, allowing him to bring your chest up against his. 

His lips brush against your left ear. 

He has to be awake, You think to yourself. A light kiss presses softly against your ear, and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. There is absolutely no way he’s still asleep. 

“(Y/N)?” Neil whispers, as if to ask if you were still next to him. 

Your eyes flutter open. “Good morning,” You mutter. Your voice is hoarse from a full night of sleep, the first full night of sleep you had gotten in what felt like ages. 

The light catches Neil’s blue eyes, causing them to sparkle and glow in the rays of sun. His blonde hair was a ruffled mess. Still, he’s undeniably attractive. It didn’t matter how unkempt he appeared to be, there was still something about him; something about him that made your heart pound out of your chest, something about him that made it impossible and yet easier to breathe all at the same time. His presences was overwhelming and yet so calming. 

He clears his throat. “Did you sleep well?” He asks, his arms still pulling you tightly against his chest. 

Besides all the other times we’ve shared a bed, You think to yourself before saying, “That was probably the best sleep I’ve gotten in years.” 

You remember that just yesterday he had said you two were “friends.” 

But friends don’t do these kinds of things. 

Neil smiles back at you, his nose less than a centimeter away from yours. “I’m glad,” He responds. You can feel his breath on your lips. 

The last thing you want to do is get up. You silently hope that Neil won’t move. Eventually, the time would come to do the very thing you came here to do, unfortunately. But for now, you wanted to enjoy laying in bed with Neil, regardless of what it meant for him. 

You watch as Neil sighs and furrows his brows. There’s something on his mind, and it’s very clearly bothering him. You always hated seeing him like this, and you couldn’t let it go unnoticed. 

“Neil?” You ask. “Are you alright?”

He smiles sheepishly. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” Neil reassures, but you know there’s something wrong.

“If there’s something on your mind, you can always talk to me,” You say, bringing your left hand to rest on the side of his upper thigh. 

You’re shocked to feel his exposed skin and not his boxers. They had scrunched up into his crotch. 

You retract your hand immediately, feeling as though you had overstepped some unspoken boundary. “I-I’m sorry about that.” Your voice is distraught and shaky in the wake of your embarrassment.

“No,” Neil says. His voice is calm and a smile reappears on his face. “It felt nice.” You nod, allowing your hand to travel back to where it was. 

You decide to start over and try again. “But really Neil, you can always talk to me, about anything,” You pause, choosing to go the confrontational route. “I know something is wrong with you. I can just tell.”

Neil’s arm tightens around you. You didn’t think it could be possible to get closer to him, and yet suddenly you were. “Well, last night…” Neil trails off. You can feel his heart beat grow louder in his chest. “I was going to talk to you about something.”

“Well, what is it?” You ask. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the moment Neil would tell you how he felt about you. 

Neil inhales sharply through his nose. “(Y/N), it’s just that-,”

The sound of Neil’s phone roughly vibrating against the bedside table next to him cuts him off. He lets go of you and turns over to pick up the phone. You stuff your face into your pillow in absolute agony. 

Another moment stolen, You think. 

“Shit,” He mutters under his breath. “Hello?” He answers the call. “Already?” There’s a pause. “What do you mean it’s half past twelve?” Another pause. “I’m sorry we must’ve slept through the alarm I-,” Whoever is on the other line interrupts him immediately. “Alright, thanks. We’ll start getting ready now.”

You lift your face off of the pillow. Neil hangs up and puts the phone back onto the nightstand. 

“It’s time already?” You ask. You feel your anxiety growing in the pit of your stomach. You know what’s coming next. You can feel it on the tip of your tongue. You can feel the uncertainty. You can already hear the gunshots, the screams, the cries for help. 

Neil turns back over towards you, his arm wrapping tightly around your body yet again. “Yeah, it’s time,” He says, pressing a kiss against your forehead. His lips are warm and soft, reassuring even. But you didn’t want to go, not yet. Being with Neil was too good. For the first time in a long time, you were finally feeling normal. You had finally felt safe. And now, as you always did, you were going to risk it all.

I can’t do this, You think to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Neil,” You feel yourself tremble a bit, “I-I can’t d-do this,” You stutter, tripping over your words at the mere thought of getting out of bed. 

“I’m so sorry, love,” Neil says, pulling you closer to him. “But I don’t think we have a choice.”

A choice? You hated the idea that anyone had a lack of “choice,” especially when it came to the organization. You hated the idea that nothing could be changed or altered to make something better. What’s happened, happened. And yet, you believed none of that. 

Of course I have a choice. I’m an autonomous woman with agency and independence. You think to yourself. “And what the fuck is stopping me from saying no, Neil?” Your sudden fury causes him to jump back a bit. His grip on you loosens. 

Neil’s shocked expression takes you aback. “I didn’t mean to make you-,”

You cut him off, feeling guilty for jumping down his throat so abruptly. “No, it’s not your fault Neil. It’s me,” You roll onto your back and Neil’s arms slide off of you. “This is so overwhelming. I’m a mess.” 

Neil shifts closer to you. He’s laying on his side. He brings his hand across your body and onto your shoulder, drawing light circles with his index finger. You sigh, his touch leaving goosebumps on your exposed skin. “It’s going to be okay, I promise,” He says. He lets you sit in silence for a few minutes. He somehow knows it's exactly what you need. 

He always does. 

You look over to the alarm clock on your bedside table. 

12:34

“We should probably get up now,” You say apprehensively. 

Neil nods, lifting his hand from your shoulder. He presses a kiss against your cheek before hopping off the bed. “Just for good measure,” He says with a wink. 

Neil had been stealing kisses from you far more recently than he had in the past, and you certainly recognized it. You weren’t complaining, but it was confusing. You weren’t sure what he wanted. You knew there was at least a slight chance that Neil saw you as more than a friend. That was a natural occurrence of life. After all, you had fallen for him. 

Who’s to say he couldn’t fall for you too. You immediately shake the thought off. Thinking like this could ruin the mission. You were too distracted for your own good. Now was not the time to be wondering how Neil felt about you, regardless of how puzzling the situation was. 

Neil had shuffled off into the bathroom. You could hear the shower turn on and the glass door of the shower close behind Neil. You stifle any further thoughts in the back of your head, and swing your legs over the side of the bed. You walk over to your duffle bag and begin to rummage through your clothes. You were always incredibly indecisive when it came to what to wear. 

After a few minutes, you finally decide on a pair of baggy, black menswear dress pants, similar to the ones you were still wearing. You grab an oversized white t-shirt to go with it. You pull your black high top converse out of the bag as well, letting them fall to the floor. 

The door to the bathroom opens, and Neil comes out with just a fuzzy white towel wrapped around his waist. You stare too far down for far too long, and Neil is quick to notice. 

“If you’re going to look at me like that, you should really buy me dinner first,” He jokes. He walks over to you and stops when he reaches his suitcase. 

You feel the heat rising to your cheeks and you smirk a bit. “I-I just didn’t expect you to be-,”

“To be what? Practically naked?”

“Well, yes, to be honest,” You say, your smirk turning into a wide smile. Neil smiles back, and nudges you playfully with his elbow. You shut your eyes and shake your head. “I’m getting in the shower now.”

Neil chuckles as you walk away. “Can I have the same show you got? It’s only fair!” 

How you wished he wasn’t just kidding around with you. 

You step into the bathroom and shut the door behind you. 

The shower is incredibly refreshing. The hot water almost puts you to sleep again, but it’s a welcomed feeling. Things seemed peaceful. But there’s always a calm before the storm. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. 

“(Y/N)?” Neil calls. 

His voice catches you off guard. You almost slip on the water below. “Yeah?” You call back, catching yourself and regaining your balance. 

“I think I left my boxers in there,” He says. Your face reddens as you predict his next words. “Is it alright if I pop in and grab them? I won’t peak, I promise!” You hear his muffled chuckle through the door. 

You swallow hard. “Yeah, sure I don’t mind,” You say back. Your heart races in your chest. The glass of the shower door was completely fogged up, and Neil wouldn’t see a thing, or at least he probably wouldn’t. But part of you of wanted him to…

Your thoughts are interrupted as the door creeks open, and Neil enters the bathroom. There’s some shuffling around and you can hear Neil moving some things. 

“Where the bloody hell did they go?” Neil whispers to himself. A giggle escapes your lips. “What’s so funny about this, love?” Neil’s sarcastic tone only makes you laugh more. 

“I mean where could they have possibly-,” You say, cutting yourself off as you look up to see Neil’s boxers hanging over the top of the shower. “How did they even end up there?”

Neil chuckles now too. “I must’ve put them up there with my pants. I didn’t think I’d have time to iron my clothes, so I just threw everything over the top to get some steam on it,” He explains between laughs. Of course he was worried about how wrinkly his clothes would be, You think to yourself, letting another giggle out. 

The shape of Neil’s body becomes more prominent as he walks over towards the shower. You feel yourself growing nervous upon the realization that Neil can most likely see a better outline of what you look like too. His hand grabs the boxers and he yanks them down. 

“I promised no peaking, so I’ll get out of your hair now,” Neil laughs and you watch as he walks over to the door. You almost wanted to tell him to stay. 

Almost. 

Before you can say a word, Neil opens the door and steps back out. Flustered beyond belief, you force yourself to finish the shower. 

You brush your teeth and put your stringy, wet hair in a clip to at least make it look presentable. You grab your clothes and slip them on, tucking your t-shirt into your pants and lacing a black, square buckle belt through your belt loops. 

You take a look at yourself in the mirror and you can’t help but feel at least a tiny bit proud of what you were able to accomplish in such a short time, that is, until you open the door. 

Neil is standing on the other side of the room, his left arm holding his weight up as he leans against the window, looking down at the city streets below. His grey suit jacket hangs below his hips and fits him perfectly. His white dress shirt is crisp, and a little green scarf serves as his neck tie. His pants are the exact same color as the suit jacket, and at the bottom are a pair of black dress shoes. He didn’t bother to gel his hair back, but it looked better when he let it be a little messy. When he gelled it he looked too uptight, too posh, too much like a tory. 

You still remember the day Neil had taught you that word. You didn’t have a clue about British politics, and despite Neil’s well-off appearance, he was always adamant about not being a tory. 

“But you’re as posh as anything Neil,” You said, breathing absurdly hard in between laughs. 

Neil shakes his head erratically. “I’m posh in a cool, secret agent way!” He exclaims in his defense. “I’m not a tory, come on! I shouldn’t have ever taught you that word. You’re just going to hang it over my head forever.” He sighs dramatically, shoving his head in his hands for extra effect. 

You rest your hand on his shoulder, reassuring him sardonically. “Oh Neil, fine. You’re not a tory.” 

The rest of the flashback, the playful banter and the stolen, sneaky touches are quickly shut down by the buzzing of Neil’s phone. He breaks his stare from the streets below and picks it up, carefully reading the message he just received. 

“It’s time, they gave us the location,” He says, still looking down at the message. You freeze instantly, as if you’ve become paralyzed. “(Y/N)?” Neil calls, walking over to you. He places his hands on your shoulders. 

“I just,” You trail off, searching for the right words. “I just thought I’d have more time to prepare, I guess.” 

Neil loosens his hold on your shoulders and wraps his arms all the way around you, pulling you tightly into his chest. “I know love, I know,” He whispers. You take a deep breath. 

Maybe I could do this, You force yourself to think. I have to. 

You untangle yourself from Neil and walk over to the chair to put your converse on. Neil studies you from afar, seemingly watching your every move. You don’t feel uncomfortable at all. You know he’s watching you to make sure you’re okay. Normally you wouldn’t want Neil to worry about you so much, but now his worry was welcomed. It made you feel safe. It made you feel validated. He truly wanted nothing but the best for you, and he made that abundantly clear. 

You finish tying your shoes and stand up, lightly brushing away the creases in your pants. You grab your long, tweed, dark grey trench coat and throw it over your shoulders. You grab the pistol at the bottom of your suit case, and slip it into the inside pocket on the right side of the coat.

“I’m ready,” You say, looking over at Neil. 

Neil nods, and walks back over to you. “Are you sure?”

You nod back. “No, but that’s okay.”

————

You and Neil make it down to the parking garage, but the Porsche is nowhere to be seen. Neil pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and presses a button. 

“Can’t repeat the same ride twice,” Neil jokes as the lights of a black BMW flash in your face, just as the Porsche had done last night. You let a small smile break your furrowed brows and tightened face as you get into the car. Neil puts the keys into the ignition and drives off. 

Neil explains the mission to you on the way there. The plan was to continue posing as Ophelia and Atlas Ryan, two newlyweds traveling the world together. 

“But you’re from London,” You retort, posing a potential problem about the cover. 

“You’re not,” Neil grins back at you. “Besides, who says I can’t show you around a bit?” 

You grin back at him, finally accepting the plan. 

“So we’ll be pretending to shop in this clothing store,” Neil starts, but you quickly interrupt him, knowing exactly what’s coming next.

“What’s it a front for?” Anxiety sits in your stomach like a rock. You couldn’t help but blurt out the question. 

Neil swallows harshly. “There’s a Turnstile in the back,” He says, keeping his eyes on the road. “And some inverted weapons, although some may be an understatement.”

Of course there’s a fucking Turnstile, You think to yourself.  You grip the handle on the side of the door as the GPS shouts directions. 

Suddenly, the bombs in Neil’s suitcase all make sense now. 

“And we have to stick a bomb…” You trail off, flabbergasted by the danger of the mission. 

“We have to stick a bomb somewhere inside the store, and detonate it the second we leave,” Neil finishes your thought. 

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down, but it doesn’t work very well. You look back to the GPS on the screen, searching for your ETA. 

1:35PM. 

That’s when you look down at your phone and realize that it’s already that time. Neil slides into an open parking spot a few doors down from the store. 

He looks over at you once last time. 

“Are you sure you can do this? Because maybe I could find a way to do this by mys-,”

“No,” You state firmly, refusing to let Neil finish. “We’re in this together.” You put a hand on his thigh and look longingly into his eyes. “I’d never leave you, Neil.” Your eyes flicker down to his lips. 

Neil smiles, and you can feel your heart burst in your chest. He grabs you and pulls you against him in a tight embrace. It wasn’t exactly what you were aiming for, but it most definitely wasn’t a miss. He lets go and you nod at each other subtly. 

It was time. 

Neil opens his door and hops out. You go to open your door, but Neil quickly walks over to your side, opening it for you. He grins, knowing that you aren’t allowed to complain. You were married now, after all. Neil grabs your hand, and helps you out of the car. 

You walk along the street past a few cars before finally finding an opening to get onto the sidewalk. You and Neil stop in front of the boutique.

Through the Looking Glass

A far too perfect name, You think to yourself.

Neil’s hand is still holding yours. He squeezes tightly, and you squeeze back. 

Neil takes the first step and opens the door. A bell rings. The white walls of the store are decorated with fairy lights and some posters. 

“Good afternoon! Welcome in,” A tall, black haired woman says cheerfully from the behind the register. “Is there anything I could help you find today?"

Shit, You think to yourself. Her questions were simple. They were completely normal questions, and yet you were frozen again. 

“We’re just taking a look around. It’s only my wife’s second time here in London,” Neil starts, developing a story, a reason to be here. “She came to meet my parents a few years ago, but she never really got the London experience, you know?”

The woman nods from behind the counter. “That’s wonderful!” She says ecstatically. You were amazed at Neil’s ability to keep his cool. You could tell he had her convinced. It was like a superpower or something. “Well, if you need anything at all, let me know!” 

“Thank you so much,” You say, finally having the courage to participate in the conversation. 

You and Neil begin to shift through racks, picking a top or skirt out every few pieces or so. You carried a few fake conversations: where to eat dinner, where to go next, what landmark to see first. Neil casually slips the bomb in your pocket in the midst of discussion.

Finally, after collecting a few pieces, you and Neil head back over to the woman behind the register. 

“Do you think I could try these on in the fitting room?” You ask politely, a smile spreading across your face. 

The woman smiles back. “Of course, right this way!” She leads you and Neil over to the back of the store and into a smaller room. There’s a row of doors connected to cubicles on the right side, and a set of pink tufted armchairs along the left. There’s a few doors along the wall ahead, and that’s where you assume the turnstile and weapons are kept. She unlocks one of the rooms, and guides you inside. “Thank you so much,” You say pleasantly, trying to keep your cool despite how terribly you want to start trembling. You head into the room and shut the door behind you. 

There’s a long mirror in front of you, and a small, tufted white armchair in the corner. The bomb would fit best behind the armchair, and could go relatively unnoticed. You decide that you should actually give some semblance of a fashion show before placing the bomb. Otherwise, you might blow your cover. 

You carefully place your coat on the armchair, making sure that your gun isn’t exposed. You grab your first outfit, a navy blue turtleneck sweater and a plaid skirt. You slip into the clothes and open the door. 

Neil’s gaze immediately settles on your exposed legs. “Wow,” He mumbles, looking you up and down. 

You smile widely and blush. “Oh stop it,” You playfully say back, forgetting all about the mission for a split second. 

“You look fantastic, really, (Y/N).” At first, you want to revel in his comment, but your eyes widen, quickly realizing what Neil had just done. 

“Atlas, I don’t think that’s my name,” You whisper, hoping the women behind the counter hadn’t heard Neil call you by your name instead of Ophelia. 

Neil gulps, and a slight smile appears on his face. “Ophelia darling,” He says louder this time, “You look incredible.”

You try to keep the show going, and you smile back. “Well then I guess I’ll just have to get this outfit, won’t I?” You say back, glancing over at the woman behind the counter. Her eyes were locked on yours, and she quickly breaks her stare. She grabs the phone on the counter and dials a number.

“Atlas,” You whisper, getting closer to Neil. “I think we’re a bit fucked.” 

Neil turns around quietly, and watches the woman on the phone. She looks like she knows what she’s doing. 

She looks like she knows who you are. 

“What should we do?” You ask, whispering even softer now. 

Neil remains in the chair, and turns back to face you. “Put on the next outfit. I’ll keep an eye out.” You nod, and head back into the room. 

You take off the skirt, and grab the light beige menswear dress pants off their hanger. You put them on, one leg at a time, trying to listen to what was going on outside the room. You slip the navy sweater off and grab a turtleneck in a darker shade of beige to put on. 

You step outside, and luckily, Neil is sitting exactly where he was sitting before. 

“I like that one a lot too,” He says, looking you up and down just as he did before. “I meant what I said before, you really do look fan-,”

Neil is cut off by the opening of one of the doors. A tall, brown haired man steps out of the door and walks over to the woman by the counter. You keep your smile on your face in an attempt to salvage whatever is left of the mission. Neil does the same. 

“You know, we should probably get going now if we want to make it to our lunch reservations,” You say as the idea pops into your head. This was your way out. 

Neil grins at your cleverness. “Oh wow, I can’t believe it’s time already. Still feels like the day just started!” 

“Time flies when you’re having fun, my love,” You say as you head back into the room. 

You’re overdoing it, dumbass! You mentally yell at yourself. You knew your cover was blown. You take the clothes off, and go to put yours back on. In all your shuffling and panic, you forget one crucial thing. 

The bomb is in the pocket of your pants. 

The second you take your pants off the armchair, the bomb falls out and crashes to the floor. It slides under the door all the way to Neil’s feet. 

“Shit,” You hear Neil curse. 

BANG!

A gunshot rings out in the store. 

You grab your gun from the pocket of your trench coat, force your pants on and run out of the room. 

The man is collapsed on the floor and Neil’s gun is aimed at the woman. You cock your gun and aim as well. 

“I should’ve fucking known from the start,” The woman says, shaking her head. “North American scum, you’re all the same. Slimey little-,”

“Shut the fuck up!” You shout. “You’re going to call whoever you just called, and tell them that you don’t need any further assistance, do you understand?”

She cackles. “No. Why the bloody hell would I do that? There’s at least twenty men on their way down here.” Before you can respond, she reaches for something behind the counter. 

BANG!

You feel a wetness in your right shoulder. It’s an odd, numbing sort of feeling. Everything appears to be fuzzy for a split second. You can’t hear properly, you can’t see properly, it’s like static on a television set. 

BANG!

Everything begins to come back as Neil rushes over to you. He crouches down. You hadn’t even realize that you had fallen over. You look down to your right shoulder, and notice the blood pooling underneath your shirt. You take a deep breath, knowing that this wasn’t the end. You had to push through the mission.

“(Y/N)?” There’s nothing but panic in his eyes. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” You say, standing up. Neil grabs your arm, helping you. “I mean it, I’m okay. I can do this.” 

Another man bursts into the store through one of the back doors. He brandishes a gun. You hold your pistol up and shoot. 

BANG! 

You hit him in the center of his chest, but the knock back causes you to fall to the ground. “Sh-shit,” You mumble. The pain is too intense for you to say more than that. You take a few deep breaths, trying hard to put yourself back together. 

Another man enters the room, and he grabs the bomb off the floor. 

“We need to go, I can’t have you here like this,” Neil says. He kneels down next to you and scoops you up in his arms. He frees his right hand ever so slightly, aims his gun at the man, shoots, and misses. 

Then, the man aims his gun towards you and Neil. 

There’s another bang, followed by the sound of shattering glass echoing in the store and down the street. 

“N-no, we can’t go. I’ll just shoot with my left hand, I can do it.” But before you could protest any more, Neil had already ran out of the boutique and towards the car. He secures you in the BMW, only for you to unbuckle and attempt to get out. 

But it’s too late. Neil slides in, turns the ignition, and presses down on the gas. 

“No!” You scream. You turn around and watch the boutique disappear behind you. “Neil! What the fuck?” You look over to him. His eyes are locked on the road. 

“What? You wanted to stay back there and die?” He asks, anger growing in his voice. 

“If it meant the mission succeeded and you got to live, then yes, I would have happily died,” You say, turning behind to see if anyone was on your tail. 

Sure enough, three black SUVs were following close behind. Neil looks into the rearview mirror. 

“Shit,” He curses, pressing his foot down onto the gas pedal as hard as he possibly can. He weaves through traffic, turning down a few streets rather erratically before finally hitting the highway. 

“We need to get to the safe house,” Neil explains. “TP said he had the directions to one programmed in the car before we got it. It should be the only directions in the system.” 

You nod, reaching over to the screen and selecting the navigation app. There’s one pre-programmed destination. You click the destination, and the directions load in immediately. 

“I’m going to get them off our ass, okay?” You say, opening your window and grabbing your gun. 

Neil frantically looks over to you, and then back at the road. “What? No! Get the fuck back inside!” He commands, but you ignore him and unbuckle. You carefully slide out the window and sit down on the thin edge. 

You aim your gun at the windshield of the closest SUV and fire. The windshield barely dents. It’s bulletproof. 

“Get inside!” Neil shouts again, shifting lanes quickly and strategically. 

You ignore him again, and aim towards the SUV’s forward right tire. You shoot, and the tire deflates immediately. The car looses control and crashes into the center divider.

“Fuck yeah!” The exhilaration is like a high. You forgot what it felt like to be back in the field and actually doing well at your job.

The other SUVs are close behind, and you aim once again, this time of the back left wheel of one of the vehicles. You pull the trigger, sending the car off into the grass, crashing against a tree on the side of the road. 

“Be careful, alright?” Neil shouts his reminder, hoping that it will have some effect on you. 

There’s one SUV left. Just as you take aim, a man lets himself out of the passenger window and sits in the same position as you. You take a deep breath, and switch your aim to the man instead of the tire. 

“Hey fuckass!” You scream, diverting his attention from the wheels of the BMW to you. “Over here!” You shout. 

“(Y/N)!” Neil shouts angrily. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

BANG!

“(Y/N)!” Neil screams, making sure that you’re still right next to him. 

You take a deep breath. “I-I’m fine. He missed,” You say, but you’re not entirely sure that he did. The burning pain on the right side of your stomach tells you otherwise. 

The man goes to aim towards you again, but before he can shoot, you pull the trigger, hitting him directly in the head. He topples out of the car, giving you the space to shoot the back wheels of the car. The SUV spins out into a nearby street light. 

You slump back into the car, and close the window. Neil takes a quick glance into the rearview mirror to make sure no new SUVs appeared,

“Are they gone?” You ask, silently hoping that Neil would say yes. 

“Yeah, for now,” Neil says, shifting his focus over to you. “Holy fuck, (Y/N), you said he missed!” Neil exclaims. “This is exactly why I fucking took you back to the car in the first place.”

You shake your head. “I didn’t ask you to do that. That was your choice. I make my own choices,” You pause, trying to catch your breath. “I’m an adult, you know. I’m not some kid for you to babysit.” 

You look down at your side, and notice that you’re bleeding out onto the seat. “Oh sh-shit.”

Neil’s gaze focuses off the road and onto your wound for a quick second. “Jesus Christ what the fuck happened, (Y/N)? What did you do?” 

“I saved the mission, what did you do?” You say, frustration heavy in your voice. “I didn’t ask for you to save me. If we just stayed in the boutique another second we could’ve blown the whole place up and-,” 

But you can’t finish. An immense stabbing pain pulses strongly at your side. Your eyes begin to well up. There’s so much pain that you can’t even scream. 

Neil is too focused on the road again to notice what’s happening with you. “Don’t blame this on me! What did you expect me to do? Leave you there? Fuck no,” Neil doesn’t realize that you’re dipping in and out of consciousness. “You don’t understand how much I care about you. You don’t understand what my life would be like if you died. It would be hell (Y/N), absolute hell.” 

Neil stops his rant and looks over to you. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” Neil’s voice is filled with worry. “Say something (Y/N), or at least try to stay awake.”

You’ve already lost so much blood. It was too hard to concentrate on what Neil was saying, you were too concerned with simply keeping your eyes open.

“N-Neil, a-am I going to make it?” You whimper earnestly. In truth, you were thankful for what Neil had done, you had just been beyond angry that your first mission back was a failure. 

Neil nods, and places a hand on your thigh. “You’re not going anywhere, I promise. I’ve got you,” Neil says. He pushes the gas pedal into the floor. “Just stay awake for me, please.”

But you can’t. Your eyes shut, and suddenly the world goes dark. 

>>>>Chapter 4

tags: 

@kmcedric11​ @annasdani​ @mellifluous-cosmos​

[neutron-stars-collision]

Crack the Shutters Open Wide

Neil x Reader - one-shot

Masterlist

Summary: Everyone knows mornings are dreadful. Or... are they?

Warnings: swearing; and idiocy.

Author's Notes: I've know clue what this is. I woke up one day with a cutesy morning daydream stuck in my head and this is what happened. Shortest ever so that's something worth celebrating ✨Only 2k of fluff (and chaos), bringing back my two idiots and their perfect dog. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think 💕

You never liked mornings. But then Neil happened. And Stalsk-12. And inversion, Tenet, and life you never imagined. And along with it, mornings changed too.

Even if you still were not a fan of those.

The harsh alarm pierced the cosy dream and shattered the surroundings mercilessly. Your mind landed back among the soft covers and warmth of the body next to yours. Too soon. With a groan, you extended a hand to try and find the phone blindly and shut it up. But you never got as far. Before you could reach the bedside table, the alarm had been cut off with a heavy sigh coming from your right. A smile appeared on your face even before you opened your eyes to register the reality.

“Christ- I hate this sound” it was Neil’s turn to groan as he pulled you closer into his arms.

Now that was a good way to wake up.

You wound your arms around his torso and finally snapped your eyes open to gaze up at him. His affectionate smile betrayed none of the ire heard in the previous complaint. Your eyes wandered over his features leisurely, taking in the ruffled blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes focused only on you.

It was always like this – falling asleep in an embrace and waking up cuddling, only sometimes having changed the positions throughout the night. This time Neil had you hugged into his bare chest with both your arms around each other and legs intertwined. With no words present, you just hid your face in the crook of his neck and breathed in the familiar scent. In and out. Feeling his hands caress your back with startling precision, you let out an exhale and replied:

“Sorry, some of us have work on Saturdays. Yes, I know it sucks big time, but I’m afraid people won’t recruit themselves” bemoaning the subject, you watched as your fingers trailed down Neil’s side and over the scars.

It was not an ideal plan for the weekend, but a job has been given, and you would not dare oppose Wheeler’s wishes. Plus, it did sound like a quick affair and one including coffee. Sold. Well, almost.

Because first, you had to get up from the bed. As though following your line of thoughts, Neil tightened the grip and pressed a kiss to the top of your head before dropping the remark:

“Careful though, don’t want you falling in love with a recruit” it was the casual tone that made you lean back and meet his gaze.

It was worth even if only to see the fond look in his eyes and the tinge of insecurity hidden underneath. As if he could believe that was a possibility. Idiot (affectionately).

“No chance” using Neil’s body as leverage, you pulled yourself up to face him, adding the punchline with a perfectly crafted poker face “Only you could be that lame,”

With pleasure, you observed as he gaped, taking in the joke with utter confusion. And then Neil frowned, pretending to inch away from you with a glare.

“Wow, my feelings have been hurt. Deeply” Neil gave you an exaggerated pout and a perfect impression of a moping Labrador.

Laughter was impossible to hide. You giggled as happiness filled your chest, brightening up the outlook and sparking up the courage. There was one last thing you wanted before getting up. Without hesitation, you untangled from Neil and straddled his lap in one smooth move. The practice did indeed make perfect.

Your smile widened upon his double-take, that one second of paralysis before he found his footing and placed his hands on your hips to keep you in place. Underneath the shirt, naturally.

“Good,” you whispered the word with an unhidden mirth, letting your eyes slowly skim over his face.

The stubble, shading the chin, the sharp jaw, plush bottom lip, and curve of the nose. As your gaze wandered up, your eyes met. The piercing blue, lightening up with love and pulling you in with the use of your private force of gravity. Your breath hitched audibly when Neil pulled himself up, letting your body fall flush against his chest and inched his fingers up your chest beneath the material. The trademark smirk curled his lips as you gasped, encouragement glimmering in his eyes:

“Should I get you coffee for that mood? Or…?” the telling pause, a clear suggestion further strengthened with the broad strokes travelling up your stomach and stopping just below your breasts.

A frustrated sigh caught in your throat as you watched him, suddenly eager to forget about the work and let the situation develop as it should. But… There was time.

Carefully, you allowed your hand to run up his chest, feeling the warmth of the skin and relishing in the way Neil’s breath grew shallow. In the current position, it was difficult to deny the eternal need. Focus.

“Coffee, though I’d like that second thing too. When I’m back maybe,” enjoying Neil’s trance-like state, you winked and used the proximity to roll your hips against his crotch in a familiar move.

It was enough to make him gasp loudly, hands sliding down to grab onto your hips and help you notice how excited the potential made him. The realisation still made you blush furiously, feeling your arousal collect between your thighs.

“Perfect, I’ll be waiting impatiently” Neil grinned as though reading your mind and leaned in to brush his nose against yours.

A break, a moment to take a breath. You were grateful for that, taking in long inhales to calm down the racing heart and centre the senses. That meeting better goes quick.

Neil cupped your cheek, gently stroking down your neck and easing the sudden frenzy to a pleasant hum underneath the peace. It was the moment your eyes met again that made you speak up:

“I really adore you. Do you know that?” tentatively, you mirrored the position of his hand and placed it on his cheek, pouring the feelings through your eyes.

You knew Neil understood from the satisfied smile that appeared on his face. He shifted slightly to give you easier access and tipped your chin. One glance at your lips and a hand travelling down your thigh were all you needed to feel the flush of warmth once more. Gravity pulled you in, inching closer until there was a breath of space left between your lips. A sight of the devilish smirk on Neil’s face, followed by the feigned thoughtful remark:

“That lovesick gaze does give me some ideas, but… kiss me, and then I’ll know,” he whispered, closing the gap to breathe out the words against your mouth.

As if you needed encouragement.

Simultaneously, your hand wandered up to tangle in his hair and prepare for the right angle as you licked your lips thoroughly, counteracting the morning dryness.

“Gladly,” effortlessly reflecting Neil’s smile and letting your tongue trail along the seam of his closed mouth.

His lips opened with a gasp underneath your prying, and you took the invite to envelop his mouth in a hungry kiss. Taking everything as though it belonged to you. And he did. Your tongue slipped inside his mouth, exploring the familiar ground with the zeal of days of starvation. Even though it had only been hours. Neil’s fingers dug into your thigh as he tried to get even closer, responding to your tempo with equal eagerness. Your mouth collided and brushed against each other with the moves of astounding intimacy and ease, pairing with desperately stolen breaths and brave touches. Soon enough, you were both left gasping, tiptoeing the line separating you from unconsciousness if only to extend the kiss a second longer.

As the stars swirled underneath your closed eyelids, you tried to lean back and break the contact. But it was never possible. Sensing your intents, Neil took the matters into his hands. Literally. Before you could understand what was happening, he used the hold over your thigh to pin you to the bed without a notch of effort needed. A startled yelp was all you could manage before he closed your mouth with another kiss. Long and careful, a far cry from the previous desperation. A means of placing the morning confessions on your lips without using the words. A promise of countless wake ups just like this, waiting to happen. It was enough to make you want more. But it never happened.

Neil finished the kiss with a chaste peck, signing off the caress and leant back to let his gaze wander over your stunned face. It was hard to keep the awe hidden from him. And pointless too. Before you could find anything to say, he spoke:

“You’re incredible. Absolutely breathtaking” the compliments were placed with terrifying honesty, painting your cheeks red and making your eyes glaze over.

There was no point in trying to take apart the exact meaning of it all. So, you cupped Neil’s cheek once more and thoughtfully caressed his face while working on the passable poker face. Once that was achieved, you twisted your lips into a smirk and whined:

“God… I need coffee to survive that sort of talk,” a wink to make sure he understood the scheme and a quick peck on his nose.

Just because.

“On it,” Neil grinned, quickly returning the endearment and jumping up from the bed before you could perceive his movement.

You flopped back onto the covers with a happy sigh, hand reaching out for the fateful phone to pass the time. That was not meant to be. As soon as Neil opened the bedroom door, a black cannonball skidded through the doorway and jumped onto the mattress. Oh, dear. You waited for Niki to locate your face and frowned as he extended the pink, sloppy tongue to greet you. Your arms flailed idly at your sides, overwhelmed with the stimulus akin to a cold morning shower.

“Miss, stop neglecting your child” the mock stern tone from the doorway made you look up.

Neil has stopped there, watching you both with fondness in the soft gaze. Still, too much.

“Oh, fuck you” blindly, you reached for the pillow and threw it at his head with deadly precision.

It missed the mark by an inch, landing at Neil’s feet.

“Language” he contemplated the item with sorrow and then looked up at the dog, “Sorry you had to hear that foul word, Nikola,”

It was the full name that got you. Bursting into laughter before you could take a full breath. With both hands stroking the black fur of your juvenile, you grinned at Neil:

“Get your girlfriend caffeine or else-” throwing a glance towards one of the remaining pillows as a warning.

He chuckled and blew you a kiss before heading down the corridor. Turning your attention back onto Niki, you placed a kiss on his head and patted the space beside you, urging him to lie down.

“See, that’s why we need coffee on a drip” the call from the kitchen made your smile wider, easily reminding you of so many similar conversations.

Maybe mornings were not so bad after all…

[inklore]

— 𝐅𝐀𝐐 ⋆ ˚｡

this blog is strictly multifandom, but that does not mean that i don’t play favorites for certain fandoms/characters. so there will most definitely be more writings for certain characters and fandoms.

requests: are closed, but thots are always welcome!

in no way shape or form should minors be interacting with anything on or posted to this blog. this is an 18+ space. anon hate and celebrity discourse also has no place here, so please respect that. if you are racist, homophobic, bigoted, zionist, islamphobic, judgmental to what people enjoy writing/reading, can’t depict fiction from real life, you will be blocked.

𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞…

rpf, necrophilia, incest, pregnancy, daddy/little play, age play, spitting, kitten, bimbo!reader, foot fetish, animal play, race play, watersports, underage scenarios, alpha/omega, domestic violence, kid fics, male!character x male!oc, i hate the word ‘doll’ as a pet name so i avoid it like the plague.

𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞…

smut (refer to the above list when it comes to this), fluff, age gaps, poly/threesome+, reverse harem, dubcon, noncon, yandere, toy play, cheating (to a certain degree), blood play, knife play, some bdsm, breath play, violence, gore, capture x captive, hunter/prey, praise and degradation, power imbalance, step siblings, supernatural, villainary, choking, mommy/daddy kink (to an extent).

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒.

marvel ↷

miguel o’hara, hobie brown, marc spector, thor odinson, loki laufeyson, peter parker (all variants), yelena belova, joaquin torres, doctor strange, wade wilson, carol danvers, eddie brock, scott lang, hope van dyne, kate bishop, hela, pietro maximoff, logan howlett, wanda maximoff, steve rogers, kraven, cable, druig, makkari, thena, blade

dc universe ↷

dinah lance/black canary, diana prince, clark kent, pamela isley/poison ivy, arthur curry/aquaman, harley quinn, adrian chase, pattinson!bruce wayne, edward nashton/the riddler

top gun: maverick ↷

jake 'hangman' seresin, bradley 'rooster' bradshaw, javy 'coyote' machado, mickey 'fanboy' garcia, natasha 'phoenix' trace, beau 'cyclone' simpson, reuben 'payback' fitch

star wars ↷

poe dameron, finn, kylo ren/ben solo, bo-katan kryze, din djarin, young!han solo

scream ↷

ethan landry, stu macher, billy loomis, chad meeks-martin, mindy meeks-martin, amber freeman, tara carpenter

bridgerton ↷

anthony bridgerton, colin bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, kate sharma, simon basset, phillip crane

house of the dragon ↷

ser harwin strong, daemon targaryen, aemond targaryen, rhaenyra targaryen

american horror story ↷

cordelia goode, tristan duffy, michael langdon, harry gardner, madison montgomery, kit walker, xavier plympton, ally mayfair-richards

etc shows ↷

villanelle, lip gallagher, tommy miller, carmy berzatto, luca (the bear), kate parks, daisy jones, billy dunne, warren rhodes, geralt of rivia, love quinn, max wolfe, olivia benson, roman godfrey, dream the endless, lucifer (sandman), jonathan pine, mira phillips, the salesman (squid game), hwang jun ho (squid game), kim geon-woo (bloodhounds)

movies ↷

john wick, finnick odair, peeta mellark, johanna mason, han lue, cipher, walter de ville, tangerine, dave lizewski, thomas sharpe, james conrad, neil (tenet), edward cullen, millie / molotovgirl, dante reyes, thrandull, steve kemp, charlie swan, marquis vincent de gramont, keys (free guy), akira (john wick), beverly marsh (it two), ben hanscom (it two), keith (barbarian), frank (don't worry darling)

adam driver ↷

kylo ren/ben solo, adam sackler, flip zimmerman, phillip altman, charlie barber, henry mchenry, commander mills, rick smolan, officer ronnie peterson, matt the radar technician, clyde logan, paterson, jude

oscar isaac ↷

santiago garcia, poe dameron, nathan bateman, jonathan levy, william tell, blue jones, rydel keener

pedro pascal ↷

din djarin, javier peña, frankie morales, javi gutierrez, joel miller, dieter bravo

chris evans ↷

ransom drysdale, lloyd hansen, andy barber, ari levinson, frank adler, steve rogers, jake wyler

[twinklelilstarkey]

Could you write some Dad!Neil x reader please? Like instead of (SPOILERS) dying, he gets to go home and he has a girlfriend, who was pregnant at the time Neil was recruited, and they end up having their first kid.

(I decided to make these two, idk why. I just did it, hope it’s okay. @cherryflavouredlipbalm )

Bug - Dad!Neil {TENET}

Words: 1.1k+

Type: Fluff

Warnings: Maybe some misspelling? Fem!Reader. Pregnant!Reader.

Neil has been on a mission for over 3 months. It might not seem like that long to some people but it sure was for your pregnant self and your son.

Y/S/N is almost two years old and loves his dad dearly, but his absence is always something very sad for him. Especially if he has a mission during a big holiday or one of your birthdays.

Neil tried to be as present as he could for the first year, but after that, his work just told him that he had to come back. No excuses. A year, in their eyes, was long enough.

You can’t judge them too much. Their selection of agents is already small, they don’t want to make it even smaller for personal reasons.

This time, his mission was smaller than it usually is, which can be a plus. But, also, not really, because that means that he can be accepted into another still in this year, and we’re in November.

Now, it’s 4:30am and Neil is finally coming back home. He’s more than excited about this but he hates the fact that you will probably wake up this early because of him.

The front door of the apartment opens and the light from the hallway rushes inside the dark front lobby. Neil drags his bag inside as his backpack hangs loosely over his shoulder, and he walks in his home.

As he was about to turn on the lights, sounds come from the dark kitchen. He frowns and lets his backpack fall to the ground in a soft thud, deciding to go check it out.

Neil walks over to the kitchen and soft patter of feet is heard. He stretches his hand to the wall and light rushes in the room.

The small toddler jumps on his feet, almost tumbling to the ground, at the light being turned on. Y/S/N turns around to meet, what he thought, his mother’s tired and disapproving look, but instead, he sees his dad.

“Daddy?” He whispers yells and a smile stretches over his face.

Neil smiles at the sight of the chubby-cheeked toddler, the chubbiness mostly from sleeping. One of his cheeks is also marked by his blanket, giving Neil an extra indicator that he just woken up.

“Hey bud” Neil whispers and walks over to the kid, picking him up.

Y/S/N stretches his small arms around his dad’s neck and hugs him close. Neil leaves a kiss on his shoulder and leans his head back to take a look at his kid.

“What were you doing here, bug?”

“Water” He explains.

Neil frowns playfully at him and a cheeky smile grows on the toddler’s face, finding it funny that his dad caught onto him faster than you. And that’s impressive.

“Are you sure about that?”

He nods and Neil nods with him with a smile.

He secures Y/S/N on his hip and walks over to the cabinets that hold the glasses. He grabs one and fills it with water. He brings it to Y/S/N lips and the small kid wraps his small hands around the cup, taking small sips of the cold water.

As soon as he pulls away from the cup, Neil puts it down on the counter and starts walking back out of the kitchen. Y/S/N leans into his chest, smelling his familiar cologne, and keeps quiet as they walk to his bedroom.

Knowing very well that when the lights are off, it means that mommy is sleeping.

Neil is quick to lay Y/S/N down and tuck him in before walking over to your shared bedroom. He makes sure that his kid’s night light is on and leaves the door halfway open.

“Good night, bug” He whispers yells.

The toddler lifts his head off the pillow to search for his dad in the darkness.

“Good night, daddy” He whispers back into the darkness, assuming that he’s somewhere close.

Neil walks to your bedroom, and under the dim lighting from the city (coming from the large windows that cover the whole wall of your room), he sees your sleeping form.

He walks over to the bathroom to go and take a quick shower before bed, careful not to awake you with any sound, it probably being him opening a drawer or letting something fall.

In a matter of 10 minutes, he’s done with his shower and already clothed with his new change of clothes.

Unfortunately for him, as soon as he opened the bathroom door and the light rushed in the room, you woke up.

You open your eyes in the darkness of the room confused with the sudden flash of light and as soon as you moved to scrub your sleepy eyes, a voice stops you.

“It’s just me, go back to sleep” Neil whispers, hoping that you’re too sleepy to acknowledge that it’s him, and your eyes snap open.

“Neil?”

In the dim lighting Neil walks over to the bed you’re lying in.

“Yeah?”

“When did you get here?” You ask, sitting up in bed.

“20 minutes ago,”

He sits down next to you on the bed and you’re quick to wrap your arms around him. Neil lets out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around you as well.

He smells just like the day he left, probably from the shower he just took, but that is just as comforting as you had wished.

Your hand lays over his wet hair, making you almost sigh in how much you missed touching it.

“I missed you” You whisper in the crook of his neck.

“I missed you too” He whispers back.

Neil presses a kiss on the side of your head, and you melt at his touch.

“Y/S/N is going to freak out” You comment when pulling away slightly.

“He already saw me” He answers with a smile and you frown, confused, “When I got here, he was getting water”

You laugh at his words and his smile widens at the sight and sound of it. As you calm down, your hands rest over his cheeks and you press a kiss onto his lips.

Once you two pull away from the kiss, a small smile appears in both of your faces.

“How is she doing?” He asks, laying a hand over your swollen stomach.

“She’s doing good” You answer, laying one of your hands over his, “The doctor says she’s super healthy”

Neil smiles while looking down at your hands and your stomach, and before he could say anything else, he remembers what time it is.

You must be super tired.

“We should go to sleep” Neil offers.

“Yeah,” You say, taking a look at your alarm, eyes widening at the sight of how early it is, “We really should”

Neil lays a soft kiss over your cheek and gets up, walking around the bed, sitting and laying down on his side.

You roll around to face him and he’s quick to pull you close to him. And in less of a minute, you are back in your deep sleeping, but, this time, in Neil’s arms.

- - - - -

Hope you enjoyed it 🥰

[valmalfoy]

hello! kinda a random request but maybe the reader is a graduate student studying physics or something like that and is doing some sort of research paper and is very overworked and anxious and stressed out and neil calms them down and makes them comfortable (extra fluff here lol) and ends up staying up and writing the paper for them? also maybe some angst where the reader feels insecure about their intelligence and that they’re too stupid to be with neil?

Pairing: Neil (Tenet) x Gender Neutral!Reader

Warnings: angst but also so sweet it wil rot your teeth :)

A/N: I apologize to all of my lovely followers for taking a short break! I’m absolutely obsessed with Niel so writing this was so much fun. I hope that you don’t mind but the reader is married to Neil, found it fit best for this fic. And they also requested for the ready to be gender neutral which I had forgotten until I was finished so I fixed that up. Sorry if there are any mistakes ): Thank you for requesting sweetie! <3

The blue light of Y/N’s laptop screen illuminated the room. They were hunched over a paper, scribbling down quick notes for her assignment that was due the next day. Their hand gripped tightly around the pencil as their eyes flicked back and forth from her paper and to the screen. Finally finishing the small paragraph, they released the pencil they once held so tightly that it left red marks on her fingertips and palm, their hands now running through their hair with a sigh of not relief but rather stress.

Niel had just arrived home from work when he entered the study room just by the front door to put down a couple things on the desk when he saw his partner still awake.

“You’re going to work yourself out.” Neil softly spoke, causing Y/N to jump in surprise of his presence.

“Nearly gave me a heart attack.” They whispered back before looking back to their screen. Neil frowned at the action, taking of his suit’s blazer and carefully setting it down on an arm chair. He walked behind them, snaking his arms around their body and kissing the top of their head. Y/N melted into his touch. His presence always seemed to remove all stress they previously had.

“What seems to be stressing you, love?” Neil questioned, looking to their laptop for answers.

“A physics paper.” They replied in a monotone voice.

“And how is it going along?” He raised a brow cheekily as he knew they only had written one sentence.

“Not good.” Y/N said through a pout.

“It’s only because you’re tired.” Neil tried to assure his significant other, spinning them around in the chair and looking at them. “I can see it in your eyes.”

“It’s due tomorrow, Neil. I need to get this done now.” They spoke rather annoyed, trying to turn the chair back around so they could continue. But Neil always seemed to be stronger than them, stopping the chair from turning. “I’m serious.”

“Me too. If you go to sleep now you can wake up early enough to finish this pesky paper.”

“You have a point.”

It wasn’t long after his convincing that Neil had ushered Y/N into bed and they were fast asleep. And Neil had decided to shower away the stress of work and eventually crawl into bed and get some rest.

But after his shower he found himself wandering to the kitchen for a cup of tea, passing the small office on his way back and looking at Y/N’s open laptop. He quietly walked in and sat at the computer, reading what they had written before he dragged them to bed. He set his cup of tea on one of the coasters, his hands now being occupied with typing up some words and finishing up their essay. He knew what the stress of school was like. And there was countless of times that he too had wished someone would write a paper for him. And when Y/N had shifted awake and walked into the office to finish the paper before the time it was due, they found a small sticky note on the screen of her laptop. Furrowing their eyebrows they peeled it off and read the words:

“Take a day off. You deserve it, Love.”

Y/N tilted their head before looking to the finished essay on her laptop, skimming over the words in awe at what he had done. Nobody had ever done such a nice thing. Tears brimmed their eyes before they ran to the bedroom where Neil slept, jumping into the cushions and close to Neil.

“I don’t deserve you.” They whispered softly. “Not nearly as smart as you either.”

Neil sighed before speaking, “You’re such a genius. There has been times where you have outsmarted me and I love it.” He said in a sleepy voice.

Y/N weakly smiled before laying down next to Neil, him pulling them close into his chest before the two drifted back to sleep and enjoy their day off.

[mypoisonedvine]

Hello and how are you? I was wondering if there’s anything you’re working on at the moment and if you’d be interested in talking about your favorite fics you wrote?

(This isn’t an interview I promise lol)

haha I don’t mind thank you for asking!  I’m doing alright!  I’m working on a lot at the moment, as we speak I’m preparing my sub!bucky x dominatrix!reader series which is looking to be about 35-40k and 7 parts.

as for oneshots, I have a lot there... dark howling commandos, dark andy barber with a latina reader, johnny storm with a mutant reader, soft lee with a prostitute reader, and some fluff with bucky based very loosely on something from ep 1 of tfatws

how many of those will actually get finished is another issue entirely...

and finally my favorites of my own works.  it’s hard to pick because at any given moment I feel like I either love or hate them all equally, so I’m gonna tweak this slightly and put the fics of mine that I think are underrated:

time after time - neil (tenet) || it’s really niche so I knew it wouldn’t do well, but I’m still very proud of it!  it’s my best soft!dark fic, incontrovertibly.  read it if you like robert pattinson

discretion - 40s!bucky || one of my first bucky fics and still one of my favorites, perfectly captures my ideal mix of smut, fluff, and angst

double take - 40s!bucky and charles blackwood || I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else write these two together and I really had fun with their dynamic.  it’s also one of the more interesting dark (soft!dark?) fics I’ve written.

hungry like the wolf - ari levinson || my first intentional attempt at soft!dark that I can recall, and I put a lot of thought into building tension in this one.  I don’t think it did well because people typically prefer ari fics that ignore his culture (but you didn’t hear it from me oop)

more human than human - bucky, blade runner au || I wasn’t surprised when this one did poorly since a lot of people haven’t seen blade runner, but you don’t need to see the movie to understand the plot and I liked my efforts to create atmosphere in this fic!  this is the only straight-up dark fic on this list, everything else is soft!dark or not dark at all

a beautiful little fool - sebastian stan, great gatsby au || alright, last one, this is similar to the blade runner fic in that it had a really strong atmosphere but ultimately was a bit too niche to appeal to people, that said I stand by it and I will never get over the beautiful gatsby!seb edits that sabbie made for me.

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Stuck in reverse - pt 6

Neil x Reader

Chapter 6: Next to me

(see Chapter  5, 4, 3, 2, 1)

summary: just you and Neil enjoying your day off

warnings: a single F bomb, other than that - pure fluff

author’s note: we all deserve a breather from time to time, right? 

Anyway, a penny for your thoughts?

—

You were dancing around the kitchen with the headphones on, swaying to your favourite tunes, banging pots quietly to the rhythm as you prepared the ingredients. It felt as if there was a ball of light in your chest, the energy was flowing smoothly, no anxious thoughts, even the nightmares became less frequent. Life was good.

Suddenly, you felt a delicate touch on your waist and you yelped, putting your headphones on the counter.

“Good morning,” Neil murmured into your ear and gently kissed your neck.

You leaned back into his embrace.

“I’m sorry, was I too loud? I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“It’s okay,” he said and pecked your shoulder. “Something smells nice,” - Neil glanced at the small mess around you and his eyes lit up - “you’re making French toasts?”

You nodded and smiled. You knew how much he liked them. Usually you didn’t care about cooking proper meals, especially with so little downtime between missions. Every now and then Neil and you managed to scrape up enough free time to not have to worry about a ticking clock, and it was one of these days.

“Could you make us some coffee while I finish these, please?”

“Right on.”

You put the first batch of toasts on the pan and chopped up fruits and cheese. You looked at Neil and you could feel your heart melt a little. He was standing next to the coffee machine, wearing only a big navy hoodie, boxers and socks, his hair a complete mess as he was trying to stretch his arms and rub his eyes at the same time, yawning. He caught you staring at him and he squinted sleepily.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you giggled. “You look adorable.”

Neil raised his eyebrows and ran a hand through his hair.

“Is that so?”

“Aww, now you ruined it,” you pouted.

He chuckled and shook his head, smiling.

God, you loved him so much.

___

It was pouring outside so you decided to spend some time in your apartment.

Neil sat down on the couch with a book, you cuddled next to him with a tablet. Every few minutes he snickered and read a couple of particularly amusing sentences out loud, making you laugh and, in the end, making you lose interest in whatever you were doing.

You tossed the tablet away and reached for a blanket.

“That’s it, now I need to hear the whole damn thing,” you said and covered both of you with it.

As Neil began reading, you rested your head on his knees. You could listen to his voice for hours. After a while, Neil’s fingers grazed your cheek and started playing with your hair. A happy sigh escaped your mouth and Neil smirked. That bastard knew you too well.

Both of you jumped at the sound of an incoming message on Neil’s phone. One day off, was it so much to ask for? Neil smacked his tongue as he read the text, wrote back a short reply and turned off the phone. His posture tensed and he pinched the bridge of the nose. When he finally looked at you, the playful lights were shining in his eyes. Huh.

“I know we have a strict no shoptalk policy, love, but-” he hesitated.

You sat up. Neil was right, you decided not to talk about anything work related, even – or mostly – about the missions you went on separately. To be honest, you rarely worked together, you didn’t want to draw too much attention to your relationship, and both of you were more efficient when you didn’t have to worry about each other in the field. Of course, Tenet’s policy about getting rid of the people who knew too much was quite important, too.

“…I’ve met TP.”

“No way!” you exclaimed, totally surprised. “He’s back?”

“No, not exactly… I had to introduce myself to him,” Neil chuckled.

You gasped and jumped at your seat. “Oh shit, that must have been so bizarre! How was it?”

“It was weird, he’s so clueless it’s almost endearing,” he said and shook his head. “I had to be really careful not to slip up.”

Your heart filled with dread at that thought. “Oh God, Neil, what did you do?” you asked, trying to remain serious.

Neil’s eyes widened, the question clearly offended him.

“Why do you assume-”

“Because you are the worst at keeping secrets,” you said, trying to stifle a giggle so bad that you could feel tears in your eyes.

He scoffed and smacked your arm lightly, “Hey!”

You could tell that he was barely holding himself together.

Suddenly, Neil hid his face his palms, groaning, “Can you believe he said he prefers soda water?”

You started wheezing, unable to catch your breath, fighting a wave of laughter rising in your throat.

“You-, fucking hell, I can’t- did you order him a diet coke?”

He just nodded and sighed, making you finally laugh out loud.

“Of course you did, bless your heart,” you snickered.

Neil’s gaze told you that you were going to regret laughing so much later. You bit your lip and took a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“I’m sorry Neil, are you okay? I’m sure meeting him like that wasn’t easy, wanna talk about it?” you asked as you grabbed his hand and squeezed it, looking him in the eyes.

Neil placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“It wasn’t, but it’s fine now,” he said and smiled lightly. “No more shoptalk,” - Neil leaned back the sofa and pulled you closer, making you lie down next to him, and reached for the book - “now where were we?”

You put your head on his chest, then Neil wrapped one arm around you and started reading again. You closed your eyes and exhaled slowly. Neil’s steady heartbeat, the warmth of his body, his soothing voice, a distant sound of rain against the windows… You smiled to yourself.

Life was good, finally.

(next Chapter ->)

[poppyisnotaflower]

We're Okay- Neil x F!reader

Pairings: Neil x Fem!reader

Genre: Angst/hurt/fluff

Warnings: Injury, talk of death?, blood, gunshot.

(Y/N) and Ives’ team was just dispatched to Tallinn, Ives had told her Neil had called for the cavalry, that was enough for her to rush in, with each moment closer to getting to Neil and The protagonist, her veins were fueled with Anxiety, hoping to god Neil wasn’t hurt.

(Y/N) was the team’s second in command, psychotherapist, and medic. She was the real deal. She and Neil were recruited together, and since then they were inseparable as ever. They were the dynamic duo of the entirety of Tenet.

So it would make sense when Neil was sent to take care of the protagonist, she was beyond anxious for him. Even though he reassured her his safety both at the agency and at home, she couldn’t shake it off. But nevertheless let him go as it was his job. But to her delight she had to start the mission for and with him, while he started things in Kiev, she made sure that the Mumbai mission would go as planned. She was the shadow of this mission before they had taken her to the team. This was actually the longest time the two would be separated from each other.

“Jesus Christ Neil!” she gasped looking at the wound in his shoulder, quickly getting her supplies out. “Take your stupid gear off.” she grumbled, he frowned but complied nonetheless.

He knew her better than anyone on this planet. So he could quite literally see the gears in her head turning so fast, he swore they would malfunction. He did feel a bit guilty for making her worry too much, he loved her with everything he had and the last thing he needed was for her to hurt. To hurt the woman he loved. “(Y/N/N)…”he tried, but she refused to meet his eyes and continued working on the wound, trying hard to stop it from bleeding. He sighed knowing she wouldn’t listen to him right now. All he wanted was to tell her everything would be okay.

She was trying not to panic with the blood seeping while she tended to it, she tried. She tried really hard not to let her feelings cloud her judgment but that clearly failed seeing she decided to stay mad at him. She couldn’t bare to see him in pain, she loved him too much. The last thing she needed was for him to hurt. See the man she loved get hurt. “(Y/N/N)…” every time he would call her that, she wanted nothing more than to call him hers. But right now, she had a job to complete and a man to be mad at. She heard him sigh knowing very well he got the message.

Ives grimaced looking at the two, feeling sorry for the guy while he gave orders to his team. (Y/N) now moved to the protagonist, letting out a breath of relief when she found no serious injuries on him. She stood up, refusing to meet Neil’s gaze, moving past Ives, nodding, walking away to go over the new orders.

“Love!”

“She seems pretty mad.” Ives commented, as the trio looked back at the woman who was checking on the weapons. Neil let out a frustrated breath, running his hand through his hair, followed by rubbing his face. Ives snickered at his actions.

“Who is she exactly?” The protagonist asked. Making Ives chuckle.

“(Y/N) is one of our best agents, she’s kind of a multiasker, she’s an expert marksman, medic, psychotherapist, and she’s my team’s second in command.” Neil couldn’t help but feel pride hearing Ives’ words. She was his best girl. Neil politely excused himself from the conversation, preparing himself to talk to (Y/N). Ives patted his shoulder as a good luck.

He saw her in the corner of the room, doing something with her back facing him, with one quick motion there was a dagger in his neck, threatening to cut it when he touched her shoulder “Neil you know better than to sneak up on Me.” she mumbled going back to facing away from him, checking the weapons.

“Hey.” He wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her back to his chest. His chin on her shoulder. She closed her eyes, stopping whatever she was doing, enjoying the way their bodies were flushed together. “I’m okay.” He whispered in her ears, sending shocks all over her body, she was glad she was still in her full handed gear, he didn’t have to see the Goosebumps that decorated her skin.

“I was so scared Ni.” she spoke in the same tone, resulting him to tighten his hold on her.

“I know.” he kissed her temple “but hey,” one of his hands left her body and into his pocket to pull out a talisman, hanging on a single red thread. “Lucky charm, you told me I’ll be safe as long as I have this on me when you gave this to me didn’t you?” she simply nodded taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” she sighed out, feeling bad for being mad at him.

“This is our job (Y/N), you can’t save everyone.” he stated calmly. That was enough for her mind to enter a spiral of ‘what ifs’ again. Neil noticed and immediately turning her around, the grip still on her waist moving to hold her face in his hands. “(Y/N)…hey…we’re okay.” he started only to be cut off her by her.

“Neil, I can’t lose you.” She shook her head with glassy eyes. “I can’t…you’re all I have.” she threw herself on him, he was quick to hold her against him.

“You won’t lose me (Y/N).” he promised. “besides, if anything were to happen to you, I’d go out of my mind love.” he remembered the times she went on missions without him, he would stay back in the office scared out of his mind, wondering what would he do if she never came back. As their ranks increased the dangers increased. She pulled back when she felt a drop of tear in her shoulder.

She took his face in her hands, wiping the tears which decorated the curves of his cheek. “We’re okay Neil.” she repeated his words, he nodded firmly making her smile. “Lucky charm.” she showed the said lucky charm in her hands making him roll his eyes.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to pick my pockets?” he playfully glared while taking back the talisman.

They never realized how close they were until now. (Y/N) looked up at him only to see his eyes fixed on her lips, she took a sharp intake of breath, letting out an airy whisper of his name to which he gave a soft smile, while his eyes asked the question which she was too eager to answer.

And she did. She pressed her lips to his, smiles breaking out on their faces, the two genuinely could not believe they were doing this. Finally. He was the first to pull back breathing heavily, closing their eyes and foreheads touching, they started laughing in disbelief.

“God I wanted to do that for so long.” he panted with a huge beaming smiles, her face mirroring his, nodding in agreement.

“I love you Neil.” the soft tone of her voice made Neil close his eyes as though it was one of the most beautiful song of the universe.

“I love you (Y/N).” he let out another breathy laugh, connecting their lips again in pure bliss.

“I thought you said they were best friends?” the protagonist asked Ives, watching Neil kiss (Y/N). Ives stood there with a proud smile and a relived thought saying ‘finally, that took way too long’

“Yes I did” he laughed walking away.

[imaginedisish]

She’s My Collar (Robert Pattinson x Reader)

A/N: I am so so sorry for the long wait guys! This was a really tough week for me! I hope you’re all doing well, and I really hope you guys enjoy this!! Someone requested some blonde Robert smut, and so here it is! Enjoy ahhh!!! (also, y/f/n is your friend’s name)

P.S, this story marks 100,000 words written for this blog...that’s all :))

Summary: You and Rob are friends with benefits, but after saving you on a horrendous night out with your friend, you find that your relationship means more than just that. 

Warnings: So, this is serious, but there is some sexual harassment/assault in here. It’s brief and not graphic or anything like that, but I wanted to write the scene in to demonstrate how fucked up it is, regardless of the setting and regardless of what someone is wearing, as well as how important awareness is. No means no, thank you!

Other warnings: Smut!!!!! Smut smut smut!! Cursing, stuff like that, brief violence/mention of blood.

Word Count: 4,203

“Oh come on, what do you mean you aren’t going to come?” Your friend shouts from the other side of the room, waving her mascara wand around violently. She points the wand towards you. “You told me you were going to come, no matter what.” Her voice is accusatory and she gives you a look. 

A look you knew far too well. 

She disappears into the bathroom to continue getting ready. You let yourself fall back onto the olive green leather couch behind you. Your head gently hits the wall and you glance up to the ceiling in an attempt to evade your friend’s question. She already knows why you aren’t joining her on her clubbing escapades this evening, but you don’t want to admit it. 

A deep breath escapes your lips and you shake your head. “No reason in particular,” You utter quietly, hoping she can’t hear you over the music playing in the background. You look down at your phone, waiting for a ding or a text from the man you were waiting to hear from. 

If I could take her down and run, then I'd call her

'Cause she's standing drama, she know I'll call her

She's getting on the sun and then she ordered

Imagine me, imagine me now (she's my collar)

“No reason, huh?” She yells over the music. “Perfect, then you can keep your promise.”

You roll your eyes and look up from the screen. “No reason that you need to know,” You yell back, pushing yourself up off the couch. “And I don’t recall promising you anything,” You say sardonically as you walk towards the bed on the other side of the room. You grab the short, blue dress you had brought with you just in case you were going to join her off of the covers. 

Your friend pops out of the bathroom just as you start heading towards the bedroom door. “Oh come on! This just isn’t fair.” She’s very clearly annoyed, and she should be. 

You were planning on ditching her the second Rob texted you that he wanted to hang out.

About a year ago, you had met Rob after your set at Glastonbury. You and your band got off stage and he was there, waiting for you. 

“That was amazing!” He shouts over the crowd still roaring behind you. He places a hand on your shoulder. Your heart flutters in your chest. “Really, you’re incredible.” He lets go, but the warmth of his touch lingers on your exposed skin.

You blush a bit. “Thank you so much,” You say, smiling widely. You had obviously met other celebrities before. After all, you had won a grammy, played hundreds of concerts, and yet, something about this felt different. 

Rob smiles back, chuckling lightly.“I can’t help but feel a little star struck right now, with (Y/N) (Y/L/N) standing in front of me,” He jokes, nudging your right arm with his elbow ever so slightly. 

“The feeling is mutual,” You say shyly. You genuinely were a bit star struck, despite having just played the closing set at Glastonbury. 

He shouts something again, but you can barely make out what he’s saying. You grab his arm and pull him into the small dressing room directly next to you. The sound of the crowd dissipates a bit, and Rob begins to speak again. 

“So how long are you in England for?” Rob asks. You look down and realize you hadn’t let go of his arm yet. You quickly pull away as heat rises to your cheeks.

“We’ll be here for the next week,” You start. “Tomorrow night we’re leaving for London to play the O2.” 

Rob nods, his smile not leaving his face. “Well then, if you’re staying in the Somerset area tonight, maybe we could go grab drinks or something?” Your heart beats rapidly out of your chest. 

“Th-that sounds great,” You stutter, embarrassed that you could barely get a sentence out. 

Ever since then, you and Rob had been seeing each other casually. There wasn’t a label or anything like that, but that wasn’t a problem for you. He was exciting, if not intoxicating, to be around. You were addicted to him. Even the semblance of a “Maybe we could see each other tonight,” was enough to drive you mad. You would cancel plans at the drop of a hat for him because you simply couldn’t get enough, and that was the exact predicament you had found yourself in tonight. 

You had been staring at your phone the entire time you were at your friend’s apartment, and intended on bailing on her the second Rob texted you to come over to his place. 

But he hadn’t yet, and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Your mind often wandered in times like these. You couldn’t help but think that maybe he was with someone else. What if you weren’t the only one he was running with?

“Earth to (Y/N)!” Your friend yelled, dragging you out of your thoughts and into the real world. The annoyed look on her face sent you walking into the bathroom. You changed into the dress you had brought and pushed your hair behind your ears. The spaghetti strap, black lace lined, blue dress was short and fell to the middle of your thighs. You found yourself wondering about what Rob would do if he saw you in the dress, but you quickly shake off the idea and walk back out into the bedroom. 

You roll your eyes as your friend claps at your entrance. “Are you happy now?” You ask, frustrated that this was your current situation. 

“I’m beyond happy,” Your friend remarks cockily. “Are you ready to get wasted, or what?” Her voice is excited, but you could’t feel the same. 

“I guess,” You respond, letting her lead the way to the door and out of the apartment. After several flights of stairs, you find yourself out on the streets of London. A black taxi cab is ready and stopped directly in front of you. 

Your friend opens the door and heads inside the cab as you follow closely behind her, closing the door as you finally sit down. 

“So where are we going?” You ask, hoping it’ll be somewhere low-key. You were happy the paparazzi hadn’t caught a glimpse of you leaving the apartment, and so far, you were free and clear of any fans. It was a nice change of pace, especially given that you were off doing something you weren’t the biggest fan of. You didn’t love clubbing

Your friend lets out a slightly evil chuckle. “Ministry of Sound,” She says simply, waiting for your outrage. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You say angrily. “Fucking Ministry of Sound? Do you want me to die?” Anxiety grew heavy in your stomach. You despised large crowds, especially without a security detail. You would have to work hard to go unnoticed, and it would probably be impossible to do so.

Your friend looks over to you with a certain lack of empathy in her stare. “Hey, this is completely fair,” Your friend says, rolling her eyes nonchalantly. “It’s payback for trying to blow me off to go see Rob,” She says, her eyes leaving yours as they look out the window casually, as if what she had done was not a big deal to you.

“No, it’s not fair,” You state aggressively, but she doesn’t respond.

You look down at your phone and notice a new notification.

Rob

1 New Message

You immediately unlock your phone. 

“Are you busy tonight?” The message reads. Your heart flutters in your chest, the same way that it did when you had first met Rob.

Shit, You think to yourself. You look over to your friend and back down to your phone. You swallow the massive lump in your throat as your thumbs rapidly press against the bottom of the screen. 

“Sort of…” You type and hit send. 

Rob starts to type right away. He was usually quite good at responding quickly. 

“Does that mean it’s something I can tag along to?” Rob asks. You were surprised, but pleasantly surprised at that. You and Rob were trying to keep things under wraps. Neither of you were sure how the public would react to you two essentially being friends with benefits, so this was quite the shock. 

Regardless, you can’t help but smirk. “Why, would you go to Ministry of Sound just to save me from the evil clutches of (Y/F/N)?”

Within a few seconds, Rob sends another message. “Clubbing?” A few more seconds pass before he sends his next message, as if he’s trying to asses how ‘risky’ the text is. 

“Are you trying to replace me?”

You knew he was joking, but you couldn’t help but wonder if there was some real jealousy there. So you type, “Come and maybe I won’t,” and press send. 

“On my way.” 

Your feel your cheeks flush with heat as you drop your phone into your lap. 

After a few more minutes, you finally pull up to the club. Your friend hands the driver the cash for the trip, and you hop out on opposite sides of the cab. 

A long line of young, skimpily dressed, bright eyed Londoners wraps around the entire building and down the street. You and your friend walk closer to the door of the club and much to your dismay, you’re instantly recognized. 

Cameras begin to flash violently in your face as voices scream your name. You bypass the line as the bouncer lets you and your friend in without a single question, without any proof of ID. 

The second you enter, the bass of the song that’s playing rattles your bones. The strobe lights pulse against your skin and you can feel the warmth of the crowded room fill your body. But it wasn’t a comfortable warmth, it was a sweaty, anxious kind. The kind that made you want to turn around and run for the door. Your friend immediately grabs your wrist and runs out to the dance floor, roughly pushing through the crowd to get closer to the front. 

As your friend finally arrives at the spot she was hoping for, the song fades out. 

“Shit, I love that song,” She curses.

The next song starts. An ever so familiar marimba chimes through the club and a small smile makes its way to your lips. 

There’s an army on the dance floor, 

It’s a fashion with a gun my love,

In a room without a door

A kiss is not enough. 

“Love my way!” You sing out, shaking your hips side to side with your friend. “It’s a new road!” You feel your anxieties melt away as you sing the chorus, jumping up and down excitedly. 

“See, it just takes the right song to get you in the mood,” You friend retorts. You roll your eyes, refusing to tell her she’s right. 

She locks eyes with a woman a few feet away, and the two gravitate towards each other. Before you know it, your friend disappears, dancing off with the woman and into the crowd. This happened every time you went out with her, and you hated it. You were happy your friend was having a good time, but you hated being left alone. You take a deep breath and continue to dance, hoping that you can hold your own. The second verse of the song plays loudly, the words bouncing off the walls of the club. 

A tall, brown haired-man approaches you, dancing and brushing up against you lightly. 

“N-no thanks, I’m waiting for someone,” You say, stepping back a bit. He steps behind you, and seemingly disappears.

Just when you think he’s gone, you feel something brush up behind you. You turn your head and see that it’s the same man from before. 

“I said no,” You say louder and more powerfully this time. The man grabs your waist and pulls you closer. You try to pull away, but he doesn’t let go. “Fuck off dude, let go of me!” You shout. The music is too loud for anyone to hear you. 

“Love, when you wear something like that, you’re asking for it,” He says condescendingly, as if you’re some child who doesn’t understand the world just yet. You try to elbow him in the stomach, but the way he’s holding you doesn’t allow you to move very much. 

“Fucking let go of me!” You shout louder this time. But he doesn’t move. 

Suddenly, you hear a yelp, and the man crashes to the floor. The crowd parts, leaving an opening for the man. Gaped mouths and frozen dancers line the sides of the club. 

“She said to fucking let go mate, so maybe you should’ve fucking let go!” A familiar voice shouts commandingly. 

It was Rob. His fist was bloody, but the man on the floor’s face was bloodier. iPhone cameras begin flickering sporadically. Rob instinctively grabs your wrist and leads you to the door of the club. You rush out to the street, and Rob hails a cab. You hop in as Rob rattles off his address to the driver, and suddenly you’re on your way.  

Everything had moved so quickly that the two of you had forgotten to say a single word to each other. 

“Are you alright?” Rob asks, his hand was still wrapped around your wrist. He moves his fingers down to intertwine with your own.

You nod your head. “Y-yeah, I just hate clubs…” You trail off, looking out the window to see the city streets. You had coincidentally moved to London around the same time you had met Rob. You still had an apartment in New York to be able to go back to the states whenever you wanted, but there was something more interesting and beautiful about London to you.  

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Rob asks again, his thumb brushing lightly against the back of your hand. 

“I’m good now,” You say more confidently this time. “Thank you for showing up,” You smile, giggling a little. 

Rob smiles back. “Anything for you, darling,” He says softly, his hand squeezing yours lightly. He seemed to be more shaken up about the whole situation than you were. Unfortunately, this wasn’t new for you. Men were fucking scumbags at clubs, and you always mentally prepared yourself for the worst case scenario. 

The cab slowly rolls to a stop, and Rob opens up his door. He hands some cash to the driver while being sure to keep his hand in yours, and leads the way out of the cab. You two walk side by side up the steps to the door of Rob’s townhouse. He unlocks the door and you two head inside. 

Rob sets the keys down on the side table and steps closer towards you. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest. 

“I’m always here for you, you know that right?” Rob whispers. He had been this sentimental before; it wasn’t like your relationship was solely based on sex, but it still felt special to hear him say those words. 

You let your head rest against him. You mumble a yes into his chest and shut your eyes. You feel safe, protected. You want to say more. You want to say much, much more. But you know you can’t. You don’t want to overwhelm your relationship with Rob with the “L” word, so you decide to keep quiet. 

You take your head off of Rob’s chest and bring your lips up to his, pressing a light kiss against them. Rob kisses back hungrily. The kiss grows more intense, more passionate. He brings one hand off of your waist and up to the nape of your neck. He combs his fingers through your hair, and you hum against his lips in response. Your clit accidentally rubs against Rob’s thigh at the perfect angle, and you feel yourself starting to want more. You brush up against him, searching for some more friction. 

Rob breaks the kiss and stares at you with a concerned look in his eyes. “Wait,” He says breathlessly. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this right now?” He asks. 

You smile at his concern. “I’m fine, I promise. I wouldn’t have started this if I didn’t want it,” You say back. 

Rob nods and presses a languid kiss against your lips. He brings his hands back to where they were before, one tangled in your hair and the other resting on the small of your back. You bring your hands up to his hair too, pulling on the blondish strands as moans find their way out of his mouth.

He slips his hand out of your hair and down your body, gliding down your sides and down to the bottom of your dress. He grabs onto the inside of your thigh, causing you to spread your legs a part for him

“Good girl,” He whispers in your ear, “Spreading your legs without me even asking you to.” He lifts your tight dress up, revealing your black panties. He begins to rub you up and down through the thin fabric, stopping finally at your clit. He lightly draws circles around your heat as a moan escapes your lips. 

“R-rob,” You stutter, unable to say anything else. He adds more pressure, and begins to circle at a quicker pace. 

His lips find their way to your neck, and he sucks at your exposed skin. He moves your panties to the side and his fingers immediately go back to work. 

“F-fuck,” You mutter as Rob quickens his pace yet again.  

Rob takes his fingers away from your clit, and his lips disconnect from your neck. You whimper at the loss of contact, and Rob grins in response. 

“You didn’t think you’d get what you want that easily, did you?” Rob asserts, grabbing your wrist and leading you up the stairs to the second floor of his flat. 

He bursts through his bedroom door and shuts it behind you, pushing you against it the second it closes. His lips immediately attach to your neck again, leaving rough kisses against your skin. His fingers toy at the bottom of your dress, slowly but surely lifting the fabric up. He moves his focus to the sides of your panties, pulling down slightly on them, teasing you. 

“P-please R-rob,” You whisper, barely able to get a word out between your heavy breaths. 

“Please what?” Rob questions. “Tell me what you want, darling,” He commands. 

“T-touch me, please,” You manage to get out. 

Rob chuckles, and gets down on his knees. “Good girl, telling me what you want,” He says, looking up at you as he hooks his fingers into the sides of your panties and pulls them down, throwing them to across the room once they’re off of you. 

His fingers find their way back to your core as he stands back up, and he begins to tease you. 

“You’re so wet for me,” Rob says. His voice is smooth yet commanding. He pushes your back against the door again as his fingers dance around your entrance. “Is this what you want?” He asks. 

You take a deep breath. “Yes,” You say back. 

Rob takes his fingers away and before you could complain, grabs your wrist yet again, bringing you over to the bed. He gently nudges you and you let yourself fall back onto the covers as he crawls on top of you. 

“Yes what?”

“Y-yes please.”

Rob presses a kiss to your lips and inserts his two middle digits into you, causing you to cry out in response. You feel your walls flutter around his fingers as his thumb circles your clit. His fingers pump in and out of you quickly, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. 

Your back arches up off of the mattress as Rob’s pace quickens. He adds more pressure against your clit, swirling around faster and faster. You shut your eyes, not realizing that Rob had begun moving down your body. 

His fingers leave your clit, and are suddenly replaced by his lips. 

“Holy shit,” You cry out as his tongue flicks against your clit. His fingers continue to pump in and out of you. 

He sucks at your core, taking you into his mouth. “You taste so good,” Rob mumbles against you, the vibrations of his words pulsing against your heat.

Your walls tighten around his fingers as you feel yourself growing closer to finishing. 

“Rob I’m s-so close,” You say, his fingers hitting your G-spot and moving faster than they were before. “Sh-shit.” Rob doesn’t stop, despite how close he knows you are. 

“Hold on for me, darling. I’m not done with you yet,” He says, taking his lips away from your clit, and removing his fingers from you. You shut your eyes groan at the emptiness. When you open your eyes again, you see Rob undoing his belt and pulling down his black trousers. He discards them to the side and begins to unbutton his white shirt. 

Within a few seconds, he’s shirtless, with only his boxers left on, standing in front of you. He finally slips the boxers off, revealing his hardened member. He crawls back on top of you and pins your hands against your head. He lets go and grabs the bottom of your dress, pulling it over your head and throwing it across the room. 

Rob’s tongue darts out and licks his lips, taking you in. “Arch your back for me darling,” Rob demands, and you do as he says. He unclasps your strapless bra with one hand, tossing it to the side, and brings his other down to your clit. 

“More, please,” You beg. 

Rob smirks, and without warning fills you up completely. He pumps in and out of you quickly, rubbing your clit at the same time. 

“Sh-shit,” Rob stutters, “You feel amazing.” His breathing his heavy. “You’re so tight.” His words alone could send you over the edge. 

You can feel yourself getting closer. The build up from before had almost made you come, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could last. 

Rob lets out a list of profanities before his lips come crashing down onto yours. He bites your lower lip lightly as his rhythm picks up. 

“I-I’m so close,” You cry out. 

“You’re taking me so well, (Y/N), just hold on a bit longer for me, darling,” Robert whispers through labored breaths. “I-I’m close too.” 

Rob’s pressure on your clit becomes heavier, and he speeds up. He pushes far into you, filling you up entirely, hitting you G-spot. You can feel yourself starting to unravel around him. His pace somehow speeds up even more, and you know he’s almost there. 

He takes a deep breath and parts his lips. “Fuck,” He curses. “Come with me darling,” He manages to get out. 

You suddenly feel a great release, seeing stars, as your walls tighten around him. You finally let yourself come undone. “Holy shit,” You cry out, and Rob comes with you. 

His pace slows as your walls flutter around him a few more times. He pulls out and crashes down next to you on your right side. His arm wraps around you, pulling you onto your side and into his chest.

You laid there for a few minutes in silence, Rob peppering your exposed skin with light kisses. It’s calm and quiet. The world meant nothing. The club, your friend, the incident, life, it was all nothing when you were with Rob. It was just you and him. 

“R-Rob,” You say, finally breaking the silence. 

Rob smiles and kisses your forehead before responding. “Yes darling?”

“Are you,” You pause, suddenly hating yourself for starting to ask this question, but you knew you had to follow through, “Seeing anyone else? It’s fine if you are. I mean, I’m not and I haven’t been, but if you are it’s really okay I’m just-,”

You’re cut off as Rob’s lips crash against yours hungrily. He pulls apart from you and smiles. 

“No, it’s just you, and it’s just been you since we started, well, this,” Rob confesses rather matter-of-factly. 

You smile back at him, but his face changes. His smile disappears, and he seems more nervous. 

“You’re the only one I think about,” Rob says. “I really like you, (Y/N),” But he shakes his head, as if those weren’t the right words. "It’s more than that, to be honest,” He says finally. 

“It’s more than that for me too,” You say back, and the smile reappears on his face. 

Rob swallows harshly. “So then, we’re more than just, friends,” Rob starts, his fore finger drawing circles on your shoulder “We’re dating. Is that alright with you?”

You smile widens. “That’s more than alright with me.” 

She's the one I'm running with

She's the one I'm running with

She's the one I'm running with

She's my collar

Oh, she's my collar

Tags: @mellifluous-cosmos​

[imaginedisish]

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards (Tenet) Neil x Reader

A/N: Hey there guys!!! I’m back...again ahhhhh. I’ve been gone for a while (I always am) but hopefully I’ll be back for a while now :) I hope you’re all staying safe and doing well. I know the world is ass, but hopefully things will be better soon. Anyway, I’m obsessed with Tenet right now and I decided that I had to write a Neil x Reader one shot (I love Robert Pattinson, it’s a problem) Also, I think this is my longest fic yet...if someone wants to let me know how to do the “keep reading” thing, please tell me omg. I’m so sorry to those who have to scroll through this. Hopefully I can change that. Anyway folks, ENJOY!!!

p.s pls request tenet stuff. gimme some smut to write.

Summary: You allow your feelings for Neil to get in the way, causing you to compromise the mission and put everyone in danger. (AU, obviously because of the reader insert, and also because this particular scene does not actually happen in the movie).  ~loosely based off “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala~

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, guns, blood, wounds, cursing, angst, possibly implications of being “lovers (or friends with benefits)” and luckily fluff :) 

Word Count: 4,163 (Please fucking teach me how to add the “read more” thing holy shit)

You storm down the cold, grey, skinny hallway lit with dimmed fluorescents. There was something inexplicably chilling about this place, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on exactly what that thing was. Maybe it was the way the lights reflected against the walls, glowing subtly against the tiles. It wasn’t a pretty glow. It was the glow one could expect to see along the walls of a morgue. 

Maybe it was the peculiar, dull ringing that followed you down the corridor, haunting your every step. Maybe it was the simple sound of your heels clicking against the concrete floors, and the idea that those clacks could call someone to your very location and leave you absolutely defenseless. Maybe it was the fact that you only had two bullets left in your glock. 

Or, it was because he wasn’t with you anymore. 

You quickly shake off the thought that he, of all people, could make you feel better. You didn’t need him. Hell, you didn’t need anyone, you thought to yourself. But still, your mind kept circling back to the image of him popping up in front of you, taking your hand and leading you away to- 

You cut yourself off. You couldn’t let your mind wonder for that long, especially about Neil. Still, you can’t help but flash back to just minutes ago, when Neil was by your side, when you made the massive mistake of letting your feelings get away of the mission. 

Neil pulled you down the hall, his hand firmly clasped around the upper part of your right arm. He was practically dragging you with him since you couldn’t keep up with his speed. 

Finally, Neil yanks you into an alcove, hoping you two can hide for at least a few minutes before running again. 

“Neil you need to give me an answer, what the fuck is-,” Suddenly, Neil pushes you against the wall, his right hand presses hard on your hip while his left hand covers your mouth. His face is in yours. Any personal space between you two is non-existent. He’s so close that you can feel his breath on your nose. He’s so close that you can feel wisps of his dirty blonde hair dance across your forehead. 

He smirks, “No time for answers.” You felt a twinge in your stomach, like butterflies, or maybe something much more gross, because now was not the time for Neil to make you feel this sort of way. 

The worst part is that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He carefully selects each and every movement he makes. He removes his hand from your mouth and places it at the nape of your neck instead, his thumb brushing lightly just below your hairline. 

You stifle a quiet moan at his touch. “N-Neil, what are you doing?” Your voice is quiet, but shaky. 

“Keeping you calm, I can tell you’re about to lose it,” He says matter-of-factly. Of course that’s the only reason, there’s nothing romantic here, and there never will be. 

‘Neil will never feel the way I feel about him’ you think to yourself. You can’t help but get a bit angry at his ability to put you under his spell. Despite your heart racing, despite your brain being bent out of shape by the close proximity of Neil, you can’t help but feel calmer. And you hated that. You were too stubborn for your own good. 

He breaks the silence, “Are you alright? I figured you’d have something to say. You said you wanted to talk to me before, didn’t you?” 

Before…when you had planned on telling him how you felt. You were going to tell him before.  Before the mission escalated past the point of return. Before you had ruined everything. Before Neil risked his life to bring you to safety. You had fucked up this time, insurmountably. It wasn’t entirely your fault, but you didn’t make it much better. 

Neil blew the entire team’s cover all to save you. You forgot the script, all because you were far too concerned with how you were going to handle your feelings for Neil. It wasn’t just any mission, either. It had to do with Sator’s henchmen. This was Tenet’s way in. This was how you could get more information. This was how you could save the world. 

And yet, you brought it all down. Somehow, Sator’s men believed that you were the only spy, and that everyone else was legitimate. They were going to kill you and spare the others, but Neil practically threw you out of the room and down the hall before anything could happen. The second he grabbed you, gun shots erupted. Now you had to pay for it, hiding in a barely-lit, cold hallway, with Sator creeping somewhere close behind, ready to attack. 

Suddenly, the guilt began to overwhelm you. What if this was it, what if you would be the reason Neil would die? What if your actions destroy the mission all together? Tears free themselves from your eyes, sliding slowly down your cheeks. 

“Hey,” Neil whispers as he moves the hand that rested on your neck up to your left cheek. He wipes away a few tears with his thumb. “It’s alright. We’re going to be fine, don’t worry-,”

Before he can get another word out, you grab his hand. “Stop, please, just stop,” You plead, unable to take anymore. He has to know what he’s doing to you, he just has to, you think, as your sadness slowly turns to anger. It irritated you that he was able to swoop in and save your day. It irritated you that he was able to touch you and comfort you, despite the lack of relationship that you desperately wanted fulfilled more than anything. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that he could be this non-nonchalant while you were practically doubled over with butterflies and other real anxieties from the situation you were currently in. 

Neil looks a bit more annoyed now. “I’m just trying to help,” He says, his eyes staring deeply into yours. Those eyes, you could drown in them if you weren’t careful, so you snap back into reality, allowing yourself to feed into your anger. 

“Maybe I don’t need your help,” You say, instantly regretting the words as they leave your lips. 

The corners of Neil’s mouth turn up slightly, his cocky attitude showing yet again. “So back there, earlier,” He gestures backwards, to the past, “You didn’t need my help?” 

You shake your head, “I’m just sick of this.”

Neil’s smile fades away as a confused look finds itself on his face. “Of what?” There’s a sadness in his voice. “Us?” 

His use of“Us” immediately takes you back. ‘What the fuck does he mean by “Us”?’ You ask yourself. You were undeniably close, but he never confirmed or denied his feelings for you.

Your stomach does a back flip before you allow yourself to grow angry again. 

“There is no ‘Us’, and that’s the problem Neil,” You say, pushing him off of you. He stumbles out of the alcove and rushes back in, closing the space between you and him once again. 

Neil gives you a puzzled look.“Bloody hell,” you hear him mumble under his breath. “What the fuck are you talking?” There’s a seriousness in his voice now. His cocky facade disappears into nothingness. He’s frustrated, and it’s all because of you. 

You just couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to say it. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know how I feel.” Your voice is louder now, and it seems as though you’re practically begging to give away your hiding spot. “Neil I-,”

He covers your mouth with his left hand once again. “Alright that’s it,” His voice is still quiet, “You’re the one that needs to stop now. You don’t know how much I-,” 

You push him into the wall before he can get a word out, just as he had interrupted you seconds ago. 

You step out into the hallway. “I don’t know what? How much you don’t care about me?” You notice the sudden pain in Neil’s face. You didn’t expect that, but you also refuse to believe it’s real. “I don’t need you, Neil. I never have and I never will.” 

You begin walking down the hallway as Neil whisper shouts your name, trying to get you to come back without blowing your cover. 

“(Y/N)! Please!” He calls out. 

A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and stops you dead in your tracks, “(Y/L/N), I’ve been waiting to meet you.” It’s a familiar voice, a voice you’ve heard before. It’s bitter, callous and malignant. A chill runs up your spine as the name of the voice dawns on you. You flinch, quickly stepping backwards and spinning around to look at the devil-man in front of you. Although, you know he would prefer if you referred to him as a god. 

“Sator,” You curse, spitting on the ground disrespectfully. You brandish your gun, trying to put on your best fake-confident face. Sator doesn’t know you only have two bullets left, and quite frankly he doesn’t need to, you think to yourself. 

Before you can even aim, Sator launches towards you. 

You jump back, and turn around to run. There’s no way you could get away from him in what you were wearing. Your black kitten heals slowed you down a great deal. Your tight, black dress made it hard for you to move in any way at all. 

Sator is right behind you. You kick off your heels, allowing you to speed up a bit. While running barefoot is much better, you know you can’t last forever. You run for a few more seconds before realizing that Sator is only getting closer. 

You turn around, back peddling now. You hold your glock up and aim. 

BANG! 

The bullet misses Sator and ricochets off the tiled wall. What the fuck? You think to yourself as the bullet falls to the ground. The walls must be bullet proof or something. 

Sator is almost within an arm’s reach of you. You lift your gun again and take aim. 

BANG!

But it’s no use. you miss again. This time, the bullet hits such an angle that it comes back straight towards you. It grazes against your left side. 

“FUCK!” You cry out in pain, stumbling a bit. You try your best to continue running, but the pain is far too great to keep going. You feel your legs starting to give out. You crumble to the ground, letting a small whimper of pain escape your lips. You grab your side, blood draining into your hands and onto the floor. 

Sator chuckles maliciously. “You seriously thought you could get away? This is my place. You’re playing in my world,” He shakes his head and reaches for his gun. He points the weapon directly at your head,

“And just so you know, I’m God here.” 

Tears form in your eyes as you hear the gun cock. You brace yourself for impact as your thoughts find their way back to Neil. You hate how you left things, especially considering that would be the last conversation he ever had with you. Guilt began to grow heavy in your stomach. 

What a way to die, totally and completely guilty, a failure, and alone, You think to yourself, as tears fall down your cheeks.

Sator chuckles again. “Crying are we know? Too late for tears, (Y/N). I think you’re all out of time.” You shudder at his words and you prepare for this moment to be your last, shutting your eyes tightly. 

“No! (Y/N)!” A familiar voice cries out from behind you. 

BANG!

You open your eyes to see Sator standing in his place, the gun now pointing above your head. You look down and see a single bullet right next to you. It must have ricochetted off the wall, just like yours did. But where did it come from? You think. 

Turning around slowly, you spot who Sator is pointing his gun towards.

“N-Neil,” You stutter, wincing in pain simply from talking. His gun points back at Sator. His eyes nervously look you up and down. This was far different from when the evening started. You remembered the way Neil looked at you when you had finished getting ready. You remember how he knocked on the door to your hotel room and let himself in. He didn’t wait for you to give him the okay. 

“Wow,” Neil said, taken back by your tight, little black dress. He looked you up and down, seemingly removing each article of clothing in his head. “You look incredible.” 

You missed that moment now. You wish you could just go back. But now you were faced with reality, with a gun in your face. 

Sator looks down at you, and back up to Neil. “I think I’ll let you watch her die, and only after you watch her take her last breath, I’ll kill you too. How’s that?”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Neil states confidently. You look up at him, confused. 

Just as Sator pulls the trigger, Neil grabs your arm and slides you out of the way. 

In the near distance, just a short ways behind Sator, you see a fiery cloud of orange erupt, followed by a massive boom. Neil somehow was able to orchestrate some sort of explosion.

Sator stops in his tracks and turns to look behind him, giving Neil just enough time to pick you up and run down the hallway, turning down a series of other corridors in an attempt to outrun Sator. 

It isn’t long before Neil realizes that you’re bleeding onto him. “H-holy shit,” He looks down to your left side. “I need to get you out of here.” 

You ignore what he’s saying. “Why did you come back for me?” You whisper to Neil. 

He steals a quick look at you as he continues to run down the hallway, but he doesn’t answer your question. 

You clear your throat and try again. “Why did you come back?” 

He ignores you again as you approach an intersection of 3 hallways, each one looking the exact same as the one you’re currently in. Neil pauses for a second, contemplating his options. His heart is beating out of his chest. You’ve never seen him this nervous. While you had only been at Tenet for about half a year now, you had grown to know Neil far too well. The stolen moments you shared, the kisses you swore to tell no one about. You didn’t know what you were with Neil. You didn’t know if this was superficial or real to him. But, you knew his emotions like you knew the back of your hand. You could tell he was panicking. You had never seen him quite like this. Something was different. Suddenly, Neil grunts and choses to go down the hallway to your right. 

You wanted to say something to him, to talk to him, but you felt yourself falling in and out of consciousness. You knew you needed to stay awake. Neil looked down to check on you and immediately noticed your condition. 

“Stay with me, okay?” He begged. You had never heard Neil talk like this before. “Please stay with me. I’m right here, it’s going to be okay.” He started to pick up his pace, practically sprinting down the hallway now. 

“N-Neil?” You managed to call out to him. 

“Yes, darling?” He responded between gasps for air. You could tell that he was getting tired. 

“Are you okay?” You ask, looking around his body for any signs of blood or even for a possible gun shot wound. 

Neil starts to slow down a bit. He looks down at you again, “I’m alright. It’s you I’m worried about.” 

“You’re not actually worried, are you?” You ask. 

Neil stops for a second, completely out of breath. He takes this as an opportunity to look at your injuries again. He puts his hand over your wound and feels all the blood that’s there. He shakes his head, clearly nervous about how much blood you’ve lost. He readjusts his hold on you, making sure you’re secured in his arms.

He brings his face closer to yours. “Fuck, of course I’m worried about you,” He says in a stern tone. He seems annoyed at the thought that you didn’t know he cared about you. “What the fuck would make you think otherwise?” He isn’t just annoyed now, he’s angry, yet he doesn’t take his face away from yours. You can feel his breath on your nose, just like you did before. The wisps of his hair greet your forehead again too. 

“I-I guess I just don’t know how to read you,” You say, taking a deep breath once you finish your sentence. Neil quickly picked up on your labored breathing and began to jog again. 

There’s silence for just a few seconds before Neil finds the right words to say. “I came back for you because I care about you. The second you left I chased after you. You were just far too quick for me.” 

Your heart flutters in your chest. You didn’t know how much he cared for you. You figured he only saw you as a member of the team, a coworker, a girl to flirt with, someone he had to care for out of convenience and association. The way he was speaking now lead you to believe that he cared for you far beyond that. You stare up into his blue eyes, gathering the courage to finally confess how you feel to him. You felt yourself slipping more quickly out of consciousness, and you desperately wanted him to know how you felt. 

“Neil, I just want you to know that-,”

Your words are interrupted by the loud swinging of a door. Suddenly, you’re outside the now flaming building and in the bitter, dark night. The wind whips and nips at your bare skin. You take a quick look around and remember that you’re in Amsterdam. At least it’s a pretty place to die, You think to yourself. You shiver as the wind attacks you again. 

Neil notices how cold you are. He sets you down on a nearby bench and takes his brown suit jacket off, draping it over you. He picks you up and starts jogging again. 

Just a short ways up the street is the BMW he had been driving for the mission. He opens the car door with one hand, making sure to keep you nestled into his chest with the other. He puts you down on the passenger’s seat, buckles you in, and carefully shuts the door. 

When he gets in on the other side, he sees you drifting off again. “Come on, (Y/N), stay with me, please,” He pleads. He leans over to you and gently kisses your forehead. Your eyelids throw themselves open as Neil’s lips leave your skin. He starts the car engine and begins to drive away. He doesn’t say a thing, but you can’t stop thinking about what just happened. 

“What was that?” You ask, wondering if he simply did that to distract you, to wake you up. He had to know what effect he had on you. 

Neil doesn’t say a thing. He only speeds up, blasting through red lights and ignoring stop signs. You look over at him. He looks like an absolute mad man. His dirty blonde hair is a mess. Dark, purple bags rest under his blue eyes. 

At one point, Neil turns the on the radio and glances at you. “Try to listen to some music, maybe it can keep you awake.” Or maybe his concern for your well being could be enough motivation for you. 

It feels like I only go backwards baby,

Every part of me says, “Go ahead”

I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again,

Feels like we only go backwards, darling. 

Neil somehow gets even faster. You notice that he’s pushing the gas pedal all the way into the floor of the car. You manage to get out one final sentence before losing consciousness, “If I don’t die from this wound, I might die from your driving.”

Then, your eyes shut and the whole world goes black. 

——

Your eyes feel like they’re glued shut, but you force them to open. There’s an arm pulling you in tightly to a firm, warm chest. You inhale deeply, instantly recognizing the scent. 

It was Neil. His face was right in front of yours. He looked so calm, so relaxed. Either this was Heaven, or he somehow managed to save your life from his hotel room. You were hoping it was the latter. You wanted this to be real life.

Neil began to stir about a bit, but his arm never left your back. In fact, the more he stirs, the closer you seem to get to him. You decide to take it all in, because you know reality is going to come crashing down eventually. You know Neil is going to back off of you, apologize, and quickly say that he was merely watching over you to make sure you weren’t dying and didn’t mean to fall asleep. There was no way that he meant to hold you like that. 

“Good morning,” Neil said casually, not taking his arm off of you. He manages to pull you even closer still. Now your noses are touching. A playful smile stretches across Neil’s lips. 

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You’re shocked, too shocked to say a thing. 

Your silence makes Neil concerned, “What’s wrong? Did I do something? Are you in pain?”

You smile at him, “No, everything is okay. Of course I’m in pain, but this feels good.” Neil’s smile reappears. But, you’re still confused. “I just need to know something Neil,” You say, as the smile disappears from Neil’s face yet again. 

“What’s the matter?” He asks as he draws letters on your back, or at least that’s what it feels as though he’s doing.  

You shake your head slightly. “Nothing is the matter,” You pause, recalling the events of the previous night. “It’s just, am I okay? How much blood did I loose? And Neil I need to know how you feel about-,” 

Neil abruptly cuts your rambling off, “You’re alright. I took care of you after you passed out. I cleaned out the wound and sowed you up. It was easier to do with you asleep, to be honest. I don’t think you would’ve like it very much,” Neil grins before continuing, “Luckily your heart rate stayed completely stable the whole time.” 

You nod your head, waiting for him to address the half asked question towards the end of your rambling that he seemed to get the understanding of. But, there’s no response. 

You decide it’s time to say something. It can’t wait any longer. “Neil, I need to know what all this means. I need to know how you feel about me.” 

“Likewise,” He returns, but there’s no grin upon his face. He’s serious, if not somber. 

Regardless, you’re annoyed. “Likewise?” You repeat back to him. “I’ve liked you since the second I saw you, and I feel as though I’ve made that abundantly clear. I’ve given you all the signs, all the hints, and you just continue to play these stupid ga-,”

Neil cuts you off, “I had to sit there and watch you almost die. I worked on your wound all night. I’ve been fucking terrified for the past 12 hours wondering whether or not you would make it. I ditched the team to make sure you were safe, and I don’t regret that choice one bit. These aren’t games (Y/N). Being in love with someone isn’t a fucking game.” 

Silence fills the room. Being in love with someone…those words repeated over and over again in your head. You couldn’t let them go. 

Neil catches gaze and holds it. He’s waiting for something from you, but you don’t know how to communicate how you feel anymore. It was like he broke you. 

You know Neil can’t take the tension anymore, and before you can say a word, Neil’s lips hungrily crash into yours. He grabs your waist carefully, keeping you pulled in tight without hurting your wound. 

Neil’s lips leave yours. “Are you happy now?” He asks, brushing where he just was with his thumb. 

“Y-yes,” You say, wanting more. 

“Then it’s settled,” Neil states confidently. He smiles slyly, as he always does.

You’re confused beyond belief. “What is?”

“That you’re mine,” Neil says, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb. He brings your face closer to his, and kisses you again. 

[imaginedisish]

Instant Crush (Tenet) Neil x Reader ~Part 1~

A/N: WHAT’S THIS??? I’m actually posting two days in a row? WOWOWOW. Okay enough with that, here’s another Neil x Reader fic! Part 2 will be coming tomorrow night. Just one quick thing before y'all begin... this takes place in an AU in which Neil knows he’s going to die in order to save The Protagonist and the world in general (ps I call The Protagonist TP, because that seems to be what other writers in the fandom do, and it’s really much less awkward than saying “The Protagonist” lol). And yes, this is very much inspired by Instant Crush by Daft Punk/Julian Casablancas, although I had the Cage the Elephant cover on almost the entire time I wrote this...NOW ENJOY!!

Summary: (AU where Neil knows how his timeline will end) Neil knows his fate, he knows he’ll have to go back and sacrifice his life in order to save the Protagonist and the world, but how could he ever leave you behind? Maybe he won’t have to. You’re willing to do everything in your power to keep him alive. (Inspired by Instant Crush by Daft Punk/Julian Casablancas)

Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, cursing, mentions of death, implication of sleeping together/ *friends with benefits/lovers*, and I think that’s it. (oh ah! the grammar may be bad...I’ll check it again later, I’m too tired now)

Word Count: 3,601 (please tell me how to do the “read more” thing so many people on this platform must hate me).

You pace back and forth inside of your tiny hotel room. The beige walls make you more nauseous with every step. The brown, carpeted floors creek under your feet. The bright red digital clock next to your bed reads 2:46AM. You feel the world slowly caving in as your mind obsesses over the events that would take place tomorrow. You wouldn’t be there. You weren’t quite sure why. You had trained to join the team on the Temporal Pincer movement, but Ives had come to tell you that you were dropped from the mission just a few minutes ago. 

“What do you mean I’m not in the movement anymore?” You ask, practically shouting in anger. 

Ives shakes his head, leaning into your doorway. He looks down the hallway to make sure no one is there, and puts a finger up to his lips, shushing you. 

“Don’t shush me!” Your voice is commanding. “Who the fuck took me out of the movement? I know it wasn’t you, and I know it wasn’t TP.” 

Ives looks at you, and then looks to the ground. His uncomfortable silence says enough. You have an idea as to who took you off the mission. 

“It was Neil, wasn’t it?” You pry, searching for confirmation, even though you already know the answer. 

Ives taps the doorway and gives a polite half smile, as if to say goodbye. He pushes himself off the doorway and turns to walk down the hall. 

The more you thought about it, the clearer it became. Neil had to be hiding something from you. There’s no way you were taken out of the movement because of your lack of abilities. You were talented with a gun, could easily outrun Neil, and knew exactly what to do in high pressure situations. You excelled at working while inverted. 

There had to be something else, something more, something you didn’t know about yet. You needed to find out what was going on. 

A knock at the door snaps you out of your thoughts. You walk over to the bright white slab of wood that clashes against the beige walls, and look into the peep hole. 

Neil. You immediately unlock the door, and twist the handle. 

He leans his right elbow against your doorway, giving him the space to bend over just a bit. His hand clutches a fist full of his hair. He looks tired, shaken up. Somehow, he still manages to look good. The sleeves of his white dress shirt are pushed up to his elbows. The knot of his maroon tie is half undone, allowing you to see that the top button of his shirt is unbuttoned. 

Neil’s blue eyes meet your own, but his gaze isn’t steady. His eyes look into your hotel room, then back to your face, and then up and down your body. Something is off about him. He seems distraught, chaotic even. He looks as though he’s looking at you for the last time. 

“I can’t do this,” Neil huffs. He quickly turns around and begins to speed down the hallway. 

You grab the keycard by your door and rush after him. The door to your room slams behind you, the sound ricochetting off the walls and most likely waking up the entire floor. You break into a run, trying your best to catch up to Neil. 

“Neil!” You shout. There’s no response, except for the pounding of your feet against the navy, carpeted hallway. 

Neil finally stops in front of a door, taking a keycard out of his pocket, inserting it into the lock, and disappearing into the room. 

You approach the door. You grab the handle and try to get in, but it’s locked already.  “Neil,” you knock three times, “You need to tell me what’s going on. I don’t understand why the plans have changed.” 

No answer, again. 

“Neil, please,” You beg, resting your head on the door. Suddenly, you hear it unlock, and before you can remove your head, the door swings open. You lose your balance and begin to fall forward, but Neil instinctively moves to catch you in his arms.

He holds you there for a second. Your head finds itself placed in the crook of his neck.  “Are you alright?” He asks. You forget to answer; you’re too focused on the scent of his warm, minty, gingery cologne. 

“(Y/N), are you alright?” He asks again, pulling you off of him ever so slightly, just so he can get a good look at your face. His voice is so calm, so quiet. His blue stare meets yours. 

Then, you remember why you’re here. You remember the situation. You remember what is going to happen tomorrow, and you remember that it’s going to happen without you. The anxiety builds in your chest. Your stomach tenses up and you can’t help but feel like your organs are moving wildly around inside of it.  

“No, I’m not alright, and I know you aren’t either,” You say defiantly, pushing off of Neil and walking further into his room. You look around a bit. It’s bigger than yours. The walls are the same beige, and the carpet is the same brown one that could be found in your room. But instead of a twin bed, there’s a queen in the center of the suite. 

Neil can’t help but smirk. “What?” He asks, pausing as he sits on the right side of his bed, swinging his legs around to get more comfortable. He leans up against the headboard, his cocky smile remains on his face, “Are you jealous that my room is nicer than yours?” 

Is he seriously trying to play this off all nonchalantly? Is he really going to pretend as though he didn’t just run out of my room in a panic? You think to yourself.

“I’m done,” You say, walking towards the door. You turn around to look at him, hoping your words can get under his skin. “I know you took me out of the movement, which is just plain fucking stupid on your part.” 

Neil shakes his head. “You don’t understand what’s-,”

You cut him off. “No, of course I don’t understand what’s going on. I have no fucking clue. I was hoping you could tell me a thing or two.” You’re yelling now. You feel the anxiety melt away as you clench your jaw tightly. Your blood boils beneath your skin. “But of course you have nothing to say. You never do.”

“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?” Neil questions, standing up from the bed once again. He makes his way over to you. 

“You know exactly what it means,” You insist. “You never have anything to say about us and whatever the hell we are. I’m just a fuck toy to you. You don’t give a shit about me,” You pause, noticing how harsh and cold your tone is. You regret the words as they leave your lips, but you continue on anyway. “And now you’re refusing to tell me why I’ve been cut out of the movement. You need me, you know you fucking need me. Ten minutes isn’t enough time to be cutting people out of the movement.” 

You think back to the past few months you’ve spent with Neil. You had been together quite a few times, more times than you could count. You spent secret nights together, going as far as getting a room at a separate hotel on many missions to hide whatever you two were from the rest of the team. Neither of you were seeing anyone else, or at least you weren’t. But still, neither of you made your feelings quite clear. You dropped heavy hints every now and then, mentioning the future, what life might look like after your time at Tenet. But Neil would always change the topic. 

Before you could say a thing, Neil’s face was in yours. You know he’s looking into your eyes, but you just can’t bring yourself to look back. He firmly grabs the upper part of your left arm with his right hand. His fingers press into your skin. 

“So you think you know bloody fucking everything, don’t you?” Neil shouts. You feel his eyes burning into your head; it’s a horrible feeling. You can’t look at him. Your heart is racing uncontrollably. You didn’t mean for this to escalate so quickly. To be honest, you didn’t intend for this to escalate at all. 

You can’t help but think about the past again. You wish you could just go back to one of the many nights you had spent with him. You wish all of this could fade away into nothing. You wish that the end of the world didn’t depend on whether or not you and Neil could simply do your job. You wish you had more time with him. 

“Answer me,” He demands.  You look up at him. His eyes are glossy. He blinks and a single tear slides down his cheek. 

You’re taken back by how emotional he is. “N-Neil, I-,” 

“You don’t get it (Y/N),” Neil’s voice is shaky, but loud. His hand is still tightly wrapped around your arm. His face is bright red. “You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You don’t know what I have to do.”

You can barely whisper now. You’re too choked up. You didn’t realize distraught Neil was. “Then tell me Neil, please.” 

Neil looks at the ground. Tears begin to fall more freely down his cheeks. This was bad, very bad, and you knew that much. Neil’s silence was enough to tell you that something wasn’t going to go as you had planned. 

Finally, Neil opens his mouth.“I don’t want you getting hurt, so I need you to leave the organization, starting tomorrow.” He’s not yelling anymore, but his voice is still firm and commanding. 

You’re beyond confused now. Leave? Why does he want me to leave? 

“You need to tell me why. You need to tell me what’s going on,” You plead. 

Neil lets go of your arm, and walks over to the edge of the bed. He sits down, allowing his head to fall into his hands. His fingers push back to comb through his hair once, and then he stops, freezing in that position. He looks down into his lap. You walk over and sit by his side. Your arms brush up against each other.  

He takes in a deep breath, “I’m not going to be here anymore, (Y/N).” 

“W-what?” You stare into the side of his head, but he doesn’t move. He’s leaving? Why the fuck is he leaving? “You’re leaving Tenet? Why? And what does that have to do with me? I can handle myself.”

Neil takes another deep breath. “No, that’s not what this is.” He shudders a bit, and lets out a small, quiet sob. He breathes in again. “Tomorrow, when the mission is completed for most of the team and TP, I’m going back into the mission again, but I won’t be coming back after.” 

You shake your head as you begin to understand what Neil means. 

He’s going to die. 

 Tears involuntarily form in your eyes. “N-no.” A shiver crawls up your spine. “No,” you say again, louder this time. “NO!” You’re screaming now, standing up from the edge of the bed. 

Neil stands up with you, reaching out to you, trying to grab you, trying to pull you into his chest. But you don’t want that. You want to run. You want to scream. You back away from Neil so that you’re on the other side of the room. 

“Please, (Y/N), it’s what has to be done,” Neil looks helpless, his arms stretched out to the side, his red face covered with tears, his eyes searching for a response in yours. 

“No, this doesn’t have to happen. You don’t need to do this,” You’re begging now. 

Neil walks closer towards you, “The world will end tomorrow if I don’t.” 

“And how do you know that? How do you know for sure?” You yell.

Neil shakes his head. “I can’t-,” You sense the pain in Neil’s voice as he stumbles upon his words. “You can’t know why, not yet at least.”

Of course…Of course this is my fucking fate. Nothingness. Death. A painful goodbye, and a tall, dirty blonde-haired figure that will just melt down into a memory of someone I used to know. 

You hold back your tears, trying to process exactly what was going through your mind. You try to wrap your head around the situation. But there was no way to process this. It was impossible. 

“So this is it? There’s no going back? This is the end, the end of us?” Your disbelief is abundantly clear in your voice. 

Neil nods. 

I can’t fucking do this, You think. A painful sob erupts from your throat, and Neil rushes over to you, embracing you tightly as if it was one of the last times he would ever get to feel you. 

Except that was exactly it. That was your reality now. 

He holds you in his arms. You press your face into his chest, sobbing loudly. 

You stay there for a few minutes, maybe five, or ten, possibly even more than that. You couldn’t tell. All you knew was that it took you a while to finally think of something to say. 

“S-so this little time with you,” You pause, gasping for air in between sentences, “That’s all I’ll get? I’ll never see you again?” 

Neil presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” He whispers. You look up at Neil, and watch as tears stream down his face. 

Out of nowhere, a hopeful idea pops into your head. “What if I can stop it? What if  could change things? I can keep you safe, no one would have to know that I was there.”

Neil looks down at you. “What’s happened, happened.” 

You hated when he said that. 

You shake off his words. You had a mission now, a mission to prove that Neil was wrong. A mission to save his life.  

“There’s no way in hell I’m living in a world where I never get to see you again, where I never get to be alone with you again,” You say, stepping back a bit. Neil moves his hands to your waist, not wanting to let go. “This isn’t going to be goodbye, Neil.” 

“It has to be,” Neil says shamelessly, allowing reality to take hold. 

“No, no it doesn’t have to be. I’m going to save you tomorrow and you don’t have a fucking say in the matter!” You’re practically screaming now. You break away from Neil, but he quickly steps forward to close the space between you two. His hands find their familiar spot your waist, the spot they were in just seconds ago. 

You’re hyperventilating now, while Neil seems to have calmed down a bit. You figured he had to have been hiding this for some time now. There’s no way he found this out today. 

He presses his forehead against yours. He takes his right hand off your waist and brings it up to the back of your head. He combs his fingers through your hair, making sure you won’t move away from him again. He parts his lips, “Will you stay with me tonight, please?” 

You nod, even though you’re more than positive that this won’t be your last night with Neil. He presses a light kiss against your lips, and you kiss back. Neil breaks the kiss, leaving your lips feeling cold and alone. He grabs your hand and leads you over to the left side of the bed. You sit on the edge and bring your legs over so that you’re sitting up against the headboard. 

Neil walks over to his suitcase. You shudder at the thought that it could just be a suitcase after tomorrow. It wouldn’t be Neil’s suitcase anymore, because there wouldn’t be a Neil. 

That is, unless you had something to say about it. 

Neil fully unknots his maroon tie and begins to unbutton his white dress shirt, one button by one. Once he’s done, he pushes his sleeves back down to where they belong, and removes the shirt completely. You can’t help but stare at his bare chest. Then he unbuckles his pants, unzips his fly and lets the trousers slide down his toned legs. He just has his boxers on now. 

He runs a hand through his hair as he makes his way over to you. Normally the sight would make you crazy, but this was far too somber and depressing. It was impossible for your mind to go there. Instead, you could only think, What if this is the last time I’m going to see him like this. You try to shake the thought off, but you just can’t. 

Neil crawls on top of the center of the bed, and finds his spot right next to you. He puts both arms around you, inviting you to rest your head on his chest. You allow yourself to do so, listening to his pounding heartbeat with your eyes shut tight. 

“I need to tell you something, (Y/N),” Neil says shyly. Shyly, that was the last word you would normally use to describe something Neil said, but that was what this situation was doing to him, and it wasn’t fair. 

You look up at Neil and nod, waiting for him to say what he wants to say. 

“Before, when you said that you’re just a fuck toy to me…” Neil trails off. Pain was evident in his voice, and it was all because of you. You had never regretted something so much. You had only felt that way because you two hadn’t ever said how you felt about each other. You had made it clear you weren’t seeing anyone else, but Neil never did. Obviously you enjoyed each other, but he never said anything that indicated the idea of the “long term.” 

And yet here you two were, being “together” for over half a year. 

Neil breathes harshly, shuddering a bit. “Well you’re not just a fuck toy to me, and quite honestly I have no idea how you got that idea,” Neil pauses again, taking another deep breath. “So I figured it’s time that I need to tell you that I…” He trails off again, shutting his eyes for a second, allowing himself to catch his mind up to his words. 

“W-what is it?” You stutter, your heart beating hard in your chest. 

Neil clears his throat. “You have no idea how much this hurts. You have no idea how much I wish I could just stay here, with you. I don’t want you leave you here. I-I-,” Neil begins to cry again. You bring your right hand up to the nape of his neck. You gently play with his dirty blonde hair, trying to comfort him. 

“I love you, (Y/N).”   

You had longed to hear those words for what felt like an eternity. From the second you saw his face, you knew that something was there. It was an instant crush, an instant and absolute fall for Neil. 

And there was no way in hell you were losing him now. Not after that. 

“N-Neil, I-,” You stutter. 

Neil puts a finger up to your lips, “Please, don’t say it back, not like this. It’ll make this all too final. You’ll get to say it to me in some future somewhere, maybe in a different past, or maybe somewhere beyond here.” 

You shake your head. “I’ve already told you, this isn’t goodbye, I’m following you in tomorrow,” You say. “I’m not losing you.” 

“Yes you are, my love.”

You shake your head again as another tear falls. You don’t care what he says, so you decide it’s time to say what you’ve been wanting to say for months. 

“I love you Neil, so much.”

Neil smiles painfully, “I thought I told you not to say it back.” 

“You couldn’t have possibly expected me not to,” You say, pressing yourself into his bare chest. You look up at Neil, and watch him yawn. You realize how tired he is. “You should get some sleep,” You say. 

Neil nods, “I know, but I wanted to spend my last night looking at you.” 

“This isn’t your last night, Neil,” You sigh. “And that’s a promise.”

Neil ignores what you say, and reaches over to your side of the bed to turn the lamp off. With a single click, the room goes dark. Neil pushes the covers over you, and puts his arms around your body, pulling you down to his level. He’s holding you as close as he possibly can to himself. 

You hear his heart beat out of his chest. You place soft kisses over his heart, hoping to calm him down somehow. But that was impossible. There was no calming him down about this. 

“I love you, (Y/N),” Neil says again, keeping his grip on you tight. It feels just as good as when he said it the first time.

“I love you too Neil, but,” You pause, trying to chose your words carefully. “You aren’t dying tomorrow, I promise,” You say finally. You hear Neil sigh, but he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to fight you. He knows there’s no stopping you, because you know exactly what you’re going to do. 

Part 2

[imaginedisish]

Devil’s Advocate (Tenet) Neil x Reader

Chapter 1: Paper Planes

A/N: Hey guys!! Here is the first chapter of the fic, “Devil’s Advocate”!!! I’m excited about this, and writing it is getting me through a lot right now, so I hope you all enjoy it too! Here ya go :)

Summary: After a traumatic experience, you are forced back into the field with Neil, but the mission is personal and possibly too close for home for you to handle. Neil helps you through it, but you’re not sure if you can get the job done.

Warnings: Violence, guns, death, drowning, injuries, angst, cursing, and yes, luckily some fluff :)

Word Count: 4,405

The weight of your cold, dark black glock settles heavily into your right hand as you pick it up off the table to your left. You secure a pair of noise cancelling headphones around the top of your head. You load the gun and cock it. 

The headphones blast with music, helping you to concentrate on the man-shaped target in front of you.

Everyone’s a winner, we’re making our fame.

Bonafide hustler making my name.

 You extend your gun out in front of you as you shut your left eye tightly to aim. 

All I wanna do is…

BANG BANG BANG BANG 

And uh, and take your money. 

You lower the gun as the target pushes forward towards you. You can’t help but smile confidently as you look at the deep hole you made in center of the paper man. You reach to take it down, but a warm hand grabs onto your shoulder, squeezing you tightly, freezing you in place.

The hand twists your body slightly, just enough to make you turn around. You reach up to the top of your head and slip your off headphones, letting them rest around your neck. 

A charming, wild grin pulls at Neil’s lips as his gaze meets yours. “That was bloody incredible!” He shouts. There’s a bright flash of excitement in his eyes. His hands gesture towards the hole you made in the wall. You had aimed perfectly, shooting in the exact same spot each time you pulled the trigger. 

“Thanks,” You say back as your cheeks flush with heat despite the boost of confidence rushing through your veins from Neil’s praise. A compliment from Neil means a lot to you, even though you’ve known him for years. He was your closest friend and made sure to tell you the truth, even when it hurt. That honesty grounded you in the chaos of your life. He was a constant, a steadfast star in your sky. 

Neil chuckles a bit as his eyes look down to the headphones hanging around your neck. You don’t hear how loud your music still is. Your mind is too focused on the sound of Neil’s laugh. 

M.I.A Third World Democracy

Yeah I got more records than the KGB

So uh, no funny business!

“A bit loud, isn’t it?” Neil laughs again as he steps closer to you. He brings his hands to the back of your neck, his fingers brushing lightly against your skin as he grabs the headphones and slips them off of you. 

That smile, You think before mentally slapping yourself across the face. Snap the fuck out of it. 

Your feelings for him were always at the back of your throat, clawing for supremacy, climbing up to the tip of your tongue, threatening to force your mouth open to spill your guts. Somehow, even after all these years, you were able to hold back. Maybe it was because you didn’t need more than what you had with him. That was an absolute lie. Maybe it was because he never belonged to anyone else. There was no need to be jealous. Maybe it was because there was a certain, silent promise of belonging to each other despite the lack of an official relationship.

That was more like it. 

Neil puts the headphones back on the table as the next song plays. The absurdly loud riff of the guitar pulls you back into reality. 

Fell in love with a girl,

I fell in love once and I almost completely.

She’s in love with the world

But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading. 

Blushing again, you reach into your pocket and pull out your phone to press the pause button. The music stops and you smile shyly. A creeping sense of embarrassment crawls into your stomach. You were beyond happy that Neil was able to see you in your element, and usually his presence made you feel good, but his attention was overwhelming at times. Now, the confidence that settled in before had been sucked from your soul and replaced with a racing heart and a cluttered mind. 

You push thoughts of Neil to the back of your head. “So what’s up?” You ask, setting the gun on the table next to your headphones. You casually slip your hands into the pockets of your baggy jeans. You mentally acknowledge that you may be overdoing the whole ‘playing it cool’ thing in front of Neil, possibly even to the point that he might be able to see straight through your act. 

“Well,” Neil pauses. His hand moves to the back of his neck. “I’ve got some news,” Neil says finally, his smirk falling from his lips. Your heart skips a beat. He looks unbelievably nervous. His brows furrow cautiously, knowing his next words are going to achieve some sort of poor reaction from you. 

You gulp anxiously and nod. “W-what is it?” You stutter as you predict the words Neil is about to say. 

I can’t fucking do this, not yet. 

Neil steps closer to you and grabs your hand in his. The touch was familiar but still shocked you to your very core, your nerves tingly frantically under his fingers. 

Please don’t say it, please don’t fucking say it. 

Neil’s voice is quiet in anticipation of your panic. “The boss, he wants you back in the field…” Neil trails off, continuing on about something in London, something about him going with you. You feel your chest tightening. You’re not listening anymore. You’re too focused on what happened last time, too focused on the trauma, too focused on the tears, the shouts, the deaths. 

“NO!” You scream, your long, HDM hung heavily in your hand. The lifeless body of a new recruit crashes to the floor. 

You raise up your arm and cock the gun. You’re ready to aim and shoot, but two large men grab your hands. Your gun falls to the ground with a clatter. 

The man with the dark hair cackles cacophonously. He shakes his head, his piercing emerald eyes dissolving your soul as he picks a new body to hold roughly in his arms. A revolver presses tightly against the person’s head. You can’t tell exactly who it is, as there’s a burlap sack covering their face. There are 8 other people in a semi circle, each appearing the same as the last, tied up in a chair with a burlap sack hiding their identity. 

“What?” He shouted barbarically, his voice echoing against the silver, metal walls of the chamber. “You think your fucking screams can get you out of this?” He grinned maliciously, licking his lips as he cocked the gun. Tears roll down your cheeks. 

You are helpless. 

You are useless.

“(Y/N),” The voice of the person cries out, knowing that their fate is already sealed. It was a woman’s voice, and you felt a bit guilty as you prayed to God that it wasn’t Wheeler.

BANG! 

The lifeless body slumps into the chair. You whimper, stifling a sob in the back of your throat. 

The man with the dark hair moves onto his next victim. You struggle, trying to shake off the two men holding you back. You look around the room, searching for something, anything to get you out of this. 

The man’s face lights up with malignant excitement, sensing that his next kill would hurt you the most. 

Fuck, no no no no no, You think to yourself. You could recognize those stupid, posh little black dress shoes anywhere. You knew the curves of his body, the shape of his hands. Blood dripped down his neck from the cut on his forehead he had gotten earlier. 

Neil.

“Please,” You beg. “Don’t touch him. Just kill me instead.” 

The man with the dark hair only grins more widely now. “Darling,” He snarls. You cringe at his use of the nickname. Neil usually was the one to call you that. “Your begging only makes this more fun for me. In fact, it makes me want to kill you even less, just so you have to live with the image of everyone you care for dying in front of your very eyes for the rest of your life.” His cold words send shivers down your spine. 

He maneuvers differently around Neil, as he grabs the bottom of the burlap sack and removes it from his face. 

Neil’s blue gaze meets yours. You heart feels like it’s being stepped on as it sinks deeply to the bottom of your chest. You can barely breathe now. You huff, trying to keep your sanity, trying to find a way out of this fucking mess. 

“I figured you would want to watch the life drain from his pretty little face, (Y/N),” The man retorts. You shake your head violently. You look left to right, searching for some sort of weakness in the two large men that were keeping you in place. You notice a brace around the knee of the man on your right. 

Thank God for shorts, You think to yourself. 

The man with the dark hair raises the revolver to Neil’s right temple. 

“(Y/N),” Neil mutters. “I l-,”

Before Neil can get his last words out, you raise your right leg, bending it in and snapping it out at the back of the man’s knees, launching him forward. With your right hand now free, you sucker punch the man to your left square in the nose. You round house him in the stomach, sending him backwards. You grab your gun off the floor and aim it back to the man with the dark hair. 

The man chuckles evilly. “You shoot me, and I shoot him. It’s really as simple as that.” Your heart pounds in your chest. 

An idea suddenly dawns upon you. You shift subtly enough so that the man doesn’t catch on to your train of thought. The gun is already cocked, all you need to do is pull the trigger.

BANG! 

“Fuck!” The man cries out, stumbling forwards into the center of the semi circle as he releases Neil from his grasp. His gun falls to the floor. You turn away sharply at the realization that you blew his hand off. 

You run over to Neil first, quickly untying his hands and setting him free. He starts untying everyone else and you walk over the the man with the dark hair. You catch a quick glimpse of Wheeler, and sigh in relief that she’s safe. 

You breathe in hard and part your lips. “Don’t you dare ever fuck with me or my team again,” You pause, kicking the man in your ribs. There’s something extremely personal about your tone.  He grunts in response. “Now tell me where Edgar is keeping the weapons. And tell me where the fuck the lab is, you prick.” 

He chuckles, breathing shallowly. “Prick?” He pronounces the word articulately. “That’s no way to address your uncle.”

“Fucking answer my question ass hat!” You shout, aiming your gun at his head. With another swift kick to the stomach, he curls up in a ball, clutching at his core. You cock your gun again, ready to shoot. Neil rushes to your side, giving you a look that implored you to let him finish before you blew his brains out. 

“F-fine,” He stutters. “It’s in London.” He gives you a set of coordinates, and Neil takes them down. “I suppose I should tell your father that you’re calling him by his first name now, hm?” 

“No, you won’t be getting the chance to,” You say. 

You pull the trigger. 

BANG!

You hear someone in the distance calling your name. 

Two slender, toned arms wrap around your back, resting on your waist as they pull you into an embrace. The smell of Neil’s musky, cinnamon and citrus cologne heightens your senses and brings you back down to Earth. 

Your breathing slows down a good deal as you press your face into Neil’s chest. His right hand comes up to the nape of your neck, and he begins to rake his long fingers through your hair. 

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Neil whispers in your ear. 

You swallow roughly. “No,” You say without even needing to think. “I’m not ready yet. I can’t leave Headquarters yet. I’m just not ready.” You feel tears begin to swell in your eyes and you bite down on your lip, hoping to keep them at bay. It had only been a month since you had killed your own uncle. He was a piece of shit, but that didn’t make the situation much easier to deal with. 

It had only been a week since you watched two of your friends die. That part may have been the hardest for you to swallow. 

Neil shakes his head and breaks away from you bit, just enough to get a good look at you. “You’re ready, (Y/N).” His voice is calm and reassuring. “And unfortunately, you don’t have a choice. We have to leave for the airport in,” Neil pauses, checking his silver watch, “45 minutes.” 

“W-what?” You gasp. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” 

“I just found out a few minutes ago,” Neil admits. “If I knew earlier, I would’ve told you.”

You nod, believing him entirely. “So we’re going to London? To the coordinates?” You ask, looking up into Neil’s ocean eyes. You could feel yourself beginning to drown in them, just as you always were. 

Neil simply nods back. He rests a hand on the center of your chest, feeling your heartbeat quicken with anxiety. “It’s just going to be you and I for a few days, and then everyone else will join when we confront…” He doesn��t same his name. He doesn’t want to make you panic again. But you know exactly who he means. 

Your father. Your heart hammers in your chest at the thought of him. 

“It’ll be okay,” Neil’s comforting tone relaxes you a bit. “I won’t leave your side for a second,” He adds. You sigh audibly in relief. 

You let a single tear slide down your cheek. “Thank you,” You whisper. 

Neil pulls you into his chest again. “Anything for you,” Neil responds. You shudder at his words. Sometimes you could swear that he didn’t only see you as his best friend, but something more. 

You let the ideas ruminate and run freely in your mind for a few seconds before shooing them away like pesky little children. 

You take a step back, allowing a small space to fill between the two of you. “I guess I should go pack now.” 

Neil instinctively closes the gap again. You can tell  that he’s worried you’ll break down, and you hate it, but his support feels nice. “Do you want me to go with you? I’ve been told I’m good company.” He grins and sends a wink in your direction.

The corner of your mouth turns up a bit into a half smile, and you let out a small giggle. He always had a way of making you smile, of making you feel good. 

“Nah,” You say, smiling fully now. “I’ll be alright by myself.”

Neil nods and smiles back. “Alright. I’ll meet you in the lobby at two o’clock,” Neil says. His smile turns into a smug smirk, and he turns his back to you. His dress shoes tap against the floor as he walks away. 

“Make sure to bring that silk pajama set you wore that time we went undercover in Monte Carlo,” He calls finally, wagging his pointer finger in the air. “I liked it.” 

You felt heat rising in your cheeks at his words. You almost tripped over the completely flat ground as Neil’s chuckle echoed down the hallway. 

————

You clutched the handle of your suitcase in your hands. You let it dangle in front of your legs, nervously bouncing it with your knees every few seconds. Your eyes searched the lobby for a head of fluffy blonde hair, but it was nowhere to be seen. You glance up to the analog clock above the front door. 

1:59. You were early. You were always early, for everything. Being late made you too anxious. You never wanted to miss a beat. 

The clock ticked 45 more times, and you counted each second. Finally, the sound of dress shoes echoed from down the hall. You looked past the reception desk to see Neil carrying a leather duffle bag in his right hand, and a bottle of water in his left. 

He smiled, releasing your butterflies from their cage inside your stomach as he finally reached your side. You open your mouth to say something, but Neil cuts you off.

“Don’t try to tell me I’m late,” Neil remarks sardonically, his eyes drifting off of you and onto the analog clock. “You’re just always early.” His smirk tugs at your heart, and you can’t help but smirk back. 

“I wasn’t going to say you were late!” You playfully smack his arm with your hand. “I was just going to tell you to be earlier next time.” 

Neil grins and shakes his head. He brings his hand up to the small of your back and brushes lightly. Outside the front doors, underneath the awning, a sleek, jet black town car pulls up. You feel your breath hitch in your throat at the realization that it was time.

This was it. 

Neil looks to you. “Are you ready?” His voice is reserved, almost as if he was scared to ask the question in the first place. 

You nod once. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” You swallow your fear and let Neil guide you out the doors. He grabs your duffle bag out of your hand, and opens the already popped trunk, carefully placing the luggage inside. You go to open the door, but Neil beats you to it. 

“I can open doors you know,” You say sarcastically, glaring disapprovingly in his direction. 

Neil doesn’t seem to care. “A thank you would be nice, love,” Neil says, shooting a charming smile in your direction. His hand is still holding the door open for you. You step inside the car and look up at Neil. 

“Thank you Neil,” You say mockingly. Neil smiles slyly and closes the door. 

The car ride to the airport is relatively uneventful. Neil gave you the run down. He told you your cover, where you were staying, and the overall gist of the mission. 

“So we’re married?” You ask, making sure you had heard that part of the plan right and hadn’t dreamt it up from a fantasy.

Neil smiles and nods. “We’re newlyweds, traveling the world together one city at a time.”  There’s a whimsy in his voice, almost as if he’s telling a fairytale. You can’t help but chuckle a bit, despite the anxiety growing in your stomach. 

The car turns onto an exit ramp, and suddenly the airport is in plain sight. You shiver a bit, feeling the air around you growing colder and colder. You check the temperature gauge at the front of the car, and notice that he hasn’t changed at all. You wrap your arms around your chest, rubbing up and down along your body, hoping to warm up. 

Neil’s smile fades away as he furrows his brows in concern. He wraps his right arm around your shoulders. You jump at the sudden warmth. 

“Are you alright?” He asks as he brings his other arm up to wrap around you completely. 

Your anxiety is begging you to tell him no. “Yeah, I’ll be okay,” You lie. Neil doesn’t buy it, and rightfully so. 

Neil squeezes you tightly. “I know you’re not okay, you don’t need to lie to me,” He whispers. “I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.” 

Your eyes begin to well up, and a single tear rolls down your cheek. “Alright,” You sigh, wiping the tear away. You sniffle a bit, trying to clear your head in the process. The car rolls to a stop. “I’m ready whenever you are,” You say, trying to seem more confident than you actually were. 

You open the door and slip out. The chaos of the outside of the airport takes you aback, despite the fact you had been in an airport millions of times before. Neil steps out behind you, and goes over to the trunk. He takes the luggage out and steps towards to you. You stare up at the massive building, petrified to enter. 

Neil ticks his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “There’s not much time, (Y/N). We have to go inside now,” He says, his gaze staring into the side of your head. You refuse to meet his eyes, you’re too focused on the building, the mission, the future. 

After a few seconds, you nod to Neil and walk into the airport. You and Neil only have one duffle bag each, and thus you could skip checking in any bags. He guides you over to security, which happened to be a breeze. 

A short walk later, you approach the gate. There was a line of people waiting to enter, and you and Neil shuffled to the back of it. A few minutes later, a nice steward scanned your ticket. 

“Alright Mr. and Mrs. Ryan, you’ll be in row 2, seats A and B. Have a nice flight,” He smiles, and gestures for you to enter the bridge to the plane. 

Your heartbeat quickens as you take small steps. “N-Neil,” You stutter as you reach to center of the bridge. “I can’t do this. I really can’t do this. I mean it. I-I’m sorry I just can’t.” Panic is heavy in your voice. It feels as though the walls are closing in on you. 

Neil puts the luggage down and brings you to the side of the bridge. He pushes strands of your hair out of your eyes. “It’s going to be okay,” Neil reassures. “You can do this. I’m said I’m not going anywhere, and I meant that.” 

Neil picks the luggage back up, and guides you through the entrance of the plane and to your seat. You hesitantly sit down, quickly placing your hand on the armrest, wondering if there’s still time for you to run out of the door and back to headquarters. To your dismay, you watch the doors of the plane begin to shut. Neil wasn’t kidding before when he said there wasn’t much time. 

He stores the luggage in the overhead compartment, and takes his place next to you. He notices that you’re still shaking, and he places his hand on top of yours and brushes your skin lightly with his thumb. 

A comfortable silence rests gently between you and Neil as his hand remains on top of yours. Sometimes words aren’t necessary. You can get the idea of what someone means by their actions alone.

A few moments later, the captain makes an announcement, followed by a series of other voices sharing information. You're too wrapped up in your thoughts to pay attention to anything they have to say. Before you know it, the plane begins to move down the tarmac. It gains speed, and suddenly, you feel yourself being lifted in the air.

You shiver again, the anxiety becoming too much to handle. You try to ease into your seat in an attempt to calm down, but to no avail. You’re petrified and uncomfortable, a terrible duo of emotions to be faced with simultaneously.

Suddenly, you feel Neil’s warm hand leave yours. You watch in confusion as he lifts the armrest up, tucking it in between the seats. He lifts his arm, and wraps it around your shoulder, just like he had done in the car, and so many countless times before. You accept the invitation willingly, and snuggle into his side. 

Minutes later, you’re fast asleep in Neil’s arms. 

———

An evil chuckle echoes against the concrete and spreads down to the grassy beach below. “There’s no saving him now, (Y/N)!” A man shouts from the top of an overpass. 

You look down and watch as a familiar figure waves their arms frantically underwater, trying to swim up to the surface, but they can’t. There’s a brick tied around each of their angles. Their dirty blonde hair floats freely in the water as they continue to sink to the bottom.

“N-Neil!” You shout, trying to step forward to dive in after him. But your stuck, tied against a chair, guarded by two large men. “Please, please stop this!”

The man laughs, ignoring your pleas. “This is what you get, (Y/N). You’re worthless, and you fucking know it. Don’t you ever forget it, darling.” 

You shake side to side. The chair tumbles over and you fall into the dark, black, cold water. Your nerves are shot by the shock of the frigidness, and you can’t move. 

“Neil!” You gargle, left to watch as he sinks to the bottom of the lake. “Neil!”

“(Y/N)?”

“Neil!”

“(Y/N)?” 

Your eyes shoot open and you practically jump out of your seat. Your seatbelt pushes you down, keeping held tightly. You’re trembling. You can’t breathe at all. 

“(Y/N),” Neil repeats. “It was just a nightmare, you’re okay.” He wraps his arms around you, bringing you tightly into his chest. 

You bury your face into his white shirt, sobbing softly. His right hand reaches up to the nape of your neck, his fingers gently combing through your hair. 

“I’m so sorry,” Neil whispers, his voice filled with kindness. “I’m so, so sorry, love.” 

You whimper into his chest as pain explodes in your heart. “What am I going to do?” You mutter. 

“Don’t worry about that,” Neil says, his kind tone persisting in each word he utters. “I’ve got you, it’ll be okay.”

It needed to be okay. You needed to be okay. You couldn’t risk any fuck ups, not this time. This was real. This was life or death. 

This was the end of the world. 

Or at least it could be. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him for what he’s done to you,” Neil states, the kindness in his voice is replaced with anger and frustration. “I’m going to kill Edgar, I swear.” 

You shake your head against his chest. “No…

“Leave that part up to me.”

>>> Chapter 2

[imaginedisish]

Devil’s Advocate (Tenet) Neil x Reader

Chapter 2: I’ll Try Anything Once

A/N: Hi guys! So this sort of feels like a filler chapter, but I hope you still all enjoy it :) And ps...this chapter is based on I’ll Try Anything Once by Julian Casablancas (it’s derived from one of the Strokes’ demos I think)

Summary: You and Neil land in London to some majorly unfortunate circumstances that are too overwhelming for you to handle, but Neil is done letting you get hurt. 

Warnings: Death, guns, gunshot wounds, explosions, violence/murder (implied more or less), cursing, minor angst maybe, and yay fluff!

Word Count: 4,191

“Hey,” A voice whispers softly; the familiar sound encourages you to lift your eyelids. “(Y/N), we’re about to land,” The voice whispers again as you feel yourself slowly rocking back and forth. You groggily open your eyes. 

The cabin of the plane is dark except for a few scattered overhead reading lights. You notice that your head is still resting against Neil’s chest as his warm hold envelopes you, keeping you pressed tightly against him. A tickle twitches in your stomach as you feel the plane drop down closer to the ground. The tickle quickly turns to terror as you remember where you’re headed. You feel your heart rapidly beat in your chest. You take a deep breath, hoping to suppress your paralyzing fears of being back out in the field. 

Neil’s calming voice grounds you. “Are you alright?” He asks, his arms tightening around you. The airplane drops some more, causing the tickle in your stomach to continue. 

“I’m not sure,” You respond honestly as you try and swallow your fear in your throat. Of course, it doesn’t work. The airplane drops again, and you pull slightly away from Neil to look out the window. Lights twinkle below you, and you can see Heathrow Airport in the near distance. 

The seat creaks a bit as Neil moves closer to you. His cheek brushes up against yours as he peers out the window. His closeness was comforting. 

Neil sighs. “I know you don’t want to be here, (Y/N),” Neil says as his right arm wraps around your shoulders again, stealing your attention away from the lights of the towns below.  “But it’s going to be okay. We’ll get in, get what we need, get rid of who we don’t, and get out.” He shoots a smirk in your direction.

The plane grows even closer to the ground but the tickles disappear, and nausea fills your stomach. “I think I’m going to be sick,” You complain. Anxiety courses through your veins, worsening your current state. 

Neil, with his arm still around your shoulders, shakes his head and pulls you away from the window. “You’re not throwing up here,” He says, chuckling a bit. “Or I’ll be doubled over with you.” You find yourself laughing too, but it’s no surprise. That’s simply what Neil does to you. He makes everything seem like it could be…

Okay. 

You were too wrapped up in thoughts of Neil to notice when the wheels of the plane came crashing on the ground. The sound of skid marks screeching against the tarmac gave way for the anxiety to settle back down into your stomach. You shudder, imagining all the things that could go wrong. All the stupid little things that could go horribly, horribly wrong.

You watch as everyone begins to stand up from their seats, walking out into the aisle and grabbing their things from the overhead compartments. Neil gives you a final squeeze before letting go and following suit with the rest of the people on the plane. You look back out the window for a second, contemplating whether or not being in Tenet is worth it at all. There’s so much danger, so much death, so much fear. 

And my own father is the enemy, You think. 

“Are you ready, love?” Neil calls, breaking you out of your thoughts. 

You shrug and stand up from the seat, hunching over ever so slightly as to not smack your head against the ceiling. “I don’t think I’ll ever be, so I might as well just jump without looking, right?” 

Neil smiles sadly, almost as if to apologize. “Then I’ll be ready for you, and I’ll catch you when you fall.” 

Your heart flutters in your chest at his reassurance, despite the sardonic nature of your comment. “Neil I-,” You say, carefully stepping out into the aisle. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“Don’t thank me,” Neil starts, seemingly minimizing his ability to change your entire mood. “This is what friends are for.”

Right, friends. 

Neil guides you out of the plane and onto the bridge. After a short walk, you enter the airport. 

It’s a ghost town. Some people are sleeping, slumped over in uncomfortable, stiff chairs waiting for their flight. You had forgotten that the time had changed. You look down at your phone to see that your New York time zone has already been switched to London’s. 

3:56 AM

It only takes a few shuffles out to the main concourse for you to recognize how exhausted you are in spite of your ability to sleep on the plane. After all, that had been the most sleep you had gotten since the…accident. 

You and Neil walk in silence for a while. It isn’t an awkward silence. It’s the comfortable, relaxing kind. It’s the kind of silence shared by two people who don’t need to talk to share how much they enjoy the other’s company. You take in all the shops and food stores as an attempt to keep yourself distracted from the terror of the mission. 

You step onto an escalator, and your attention finally lands on Neil’s face. You had studied it a million times, as odd as that sounds, but you couldn’t help it. You liked looking at him. You liked getting confirmation that he was in fact real and was in fact with you. 

“Hey,” You finally speak up. “Aren’t we in your hometown now?”

You watch as Neil’s cheeks lift and the corners of his mouth turn up. “Yeah,” He says back. “I guess we are.” His eyes rest on yours for a second before they flicker down to your lips. It catches you off guard, but the moment is gone just as soon as it begins as you’re forced to step off the escalator. You enter the baggage claim area and head straight towards the exit of the airport. 

Conveniently waiting outside the doors is a black town car. You look to Neil, making sure it’s the right one. Neil nods, silently confirming that this is a part of the plan. You open the door and plop onto the seat. You hear Neil open and close the trunk before he takes his spot next to you in the car. 

“We live in a twilight world,” Neil says. But there’s no answer. 

You clear your throat nervously, reaching underneath your black, baggy, menswear dress pants, clutching onto the small revolver tied against your calf. “He said, we live in a twilight world.” 

There’s no answer again. You take the revolver out, aiming it at the man. You look over at Neil and notice that his shirt is undone; he had already taken his gun out. He always kept it under his shirt, attached to his chest. He hunches over, slowly moving towards the man through the center console. 

The man’s hat is titled over his forehead. Neil takes it off. 

Neil parts his lips. “Fuck,” His voice is shallow. “He’s dead. He’s got a bullet in the center of his forehead,” There’s a panic in Neil’s voice.  He looks up to the windshield, and you follow his gaze. There’s no point of entry, no shattered glass. 

“So someone else has already been here,” You remark. Neil’s eyes widen as he moves the man’s shirt over a bit. 

That’s when the light beeping noise starts. 

“SHIT!” Neil screams. “Get out of the car! NOW!” He opens the door on your side of the car and practically shoves you out. You stumble, barely able to catch your balance when your feet hit the ground. Neil sprints to the trunk, opening it up and grabbing the luggage. 

You follow behind him, tugging on his arm, trying to pull him away. “The luggage, really?” You shout in disbelief. 

Neil secures both bags in his right hand, and grabs your wrist with his left. You both break out into a sprint. “We need to take cover,” Neil says in between breaths, his eyes frantically searching around the taxi area. “Do you see-,”

BOOM!

“FUCK!” Neil yells, practically tripping over his feet as the concrete vibrates violently below. He catches his balance just before he can face plant into the ground.

The car explodes behind you. The heat of the flames radiate on your back. You don’t dare look behind you; you keep running. 

You and Neil finally reach a parking lot, and stop for a break.

“What the hell was that?” You whisper, angrily grabbing Neil by the collar and bringing him in between two minivans for cover, just in case anyone had followed you or was planning to attack. 

Neil grabs your waist in return, brining you even closer to him. Your breath hitches in your throat as you realize how close you are to him. “They must know we’re here,” Neil says. His eyes are still wide and his breathing is still heavy. 

“And the suitcases?” You question with heavy concern, and even frustration, in your voice. “Do you not have firefighters come into your elementary schools in England? Do you not get taught that stuff can be replaced and human beings can’t be?” Your whisper turns into more of an angry shout. 

Neil shakes his head in disapproval. “There are explosives in my suitcase, (Y/N). If they detonated we would be dead,” He says, panic still evident in his voice, and a bit of anger as well. 

You nod, loosening your grip on his collar. “I’m sorry I just,” You pause, knowing full well what had just come over you. “I just didn’t want anything to happen to you, that’s all.” You feel your eyes becoming glossy. This was the very thing you were afraid of. You were almost blown to bits, and worse than that, Neil could’ve died. The mission was already failing, and it hadn’t even truly started yet.

You shut your eyes tightly, and a few tears roll down your cheeks.

Neil swallows hard, his arms still resting on your waist. “No, I’m sorry. You didn’t know. I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat like that.” Neil pulls you into an embrace. 

“It’s okay,” You mumble quietly into his chest.

You let him hold you in silence for a few moments. You needed to process things. You needed to ground yourself. You needed this second with Neil. 

You feel yourself dozing off a bit in Neil’s arms. Visions of a bed with a plush comforter and satin sheets play over in your head. It had to be almost 4:30 in the morning at this point. 

“How are we going to get to the hotel?” You ask, longing for a good night’s sleep. “And what if they know what hotel we’re staying in?”

Neil pulls apart from you and reaches into his pocket to grab his phone. “I’ll call TP and figure out what we’re supposed to do.” Neil types in his passcode, presses on the screen a few times, and lifts his phone up to his ear. 

You look up into the night sky to distract yourself. The stars twinkle lightly, but there’s too much light pollution to get a good look. The cold wind nips at you roughly. You turn to face Neil. He’s pacing back and forth about twenty feet away from you. You try and tune into what he’s saying.

“They fucking know we’re here, what am I supposed to do?” The frustration in his voice is clear. He waits for a response. 

“Yeah, she’s alright I guess, but you shouldn’t have forced her out into the field this early,” He pauses again. “No I don’t care that you’re the boss, she wasn’t ready when she left this afternoon and she definitely isn’t ready now!”

Silence, and then another sentence. “No, I’m not letting my feelings get in the way, that’s not what this is.”

Feelings? 

“I mean of course it’s because I care about her, you know how I feel…” He trails off, and walks a bit farther away from you. What he says next, you can’t hear.

After a few seconds, he starts to walk back, still keeping a bit of a distance. “Alright, we’ll head over there now,” Neil looks up at you and winks, confirming that there’s some sort of plan set in place. 

Neil turns his back to you. “And I swear to God,” He whispers, thinking you can’t hear him, “If she dies, I’m going to kill you.” 

A shiver rolls down your spine at his words. You knew Neil cared about you, but you didn’t know he would threaten TP for you, even if it was just a sarcastic threat.

But this wasn’t a joke.  

“Yeah okay. Thanks,” Neil says finally. “Talk to you later.” He takes the phone away from his ear and presses the red button to hang up. He walks back over to you. You’re still overwhelmed by what Neil had said on the phone, but you push those thoughts to the back of your head.

You yawn listlessly. “So what’s going to happen?” You ask, ready to crash to the ground in exhaustion. 

Neil smiles. He picks up the luggage in his right hand again, and points to the other side of the parking lot. You notice a separate lot filled with rental cars. “TP put in a favor and we’re getting our own car. Looks like you’ll have to deal with my driving.” 

You can’t help but smile back at him. You didn’t mind Neil’s driving at all, to be honest. You felt safe when Neil drove. But then again, you felt safe with Neil no matter what he did. 

“It’s just on the other side of the lot,” Neil reassures. You roll your eyes at the thought of more walking, but you figured it may be a good time to talk about what you had just heard Neil say on the phone. 

Before you can think of something to say, Neil loops his left arm around your waist. His fingers settle on the exposed skin underneath your oversized blazer. Your nerves tingle underneath his touch, and any thoughts you had before disappear from your mind. 

After a few seconds, you force yourself to think back to the phone call. “Neil? Can I ask you something?” 

“Anything,” Neil says back, smiling down at you. 

“The phone call you just had, with TP,” You pause, trying to find the right words.

Neil shakes his head. “Whatever you heard, don’t worry about it, please. I know what I’m doing,” He pauses and pulls you closer to him. "You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be alright. ” You’re not entirely content with his answer, but it’s enough for now. 

After a five minute walk, you finally reach the rental lot. Neil walks over to the man inside of the tiny cube shaped building. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but a set of keys are exchanged, and Neil motions for you to follow him. You begrudgingly pick up your pace to catch up with him.

“What kind of car is it?” You ask. Neil presses the panic button once, and the headlights of a black, Porsche 911 flash across your face. 

You go to get into the car, approaching the door on your left hand side, forgetting you’re now in Europe. Neil smirks at you, grabs your hand, and brings you to the other side of the car. He sets the luggage down on the ground, and opens your door, letting you slip inside. Normally, you would have a cheeky response to Neil opening the door for you, but you were too tired now. Neil grabs the luggage, and walks around the other side of the car. He opens his door and puts the luggage in the back seat. 

Neil puts the key into the ignition and starts the car. He takes out his phone, and through your blurry vision, you watch as he slides his finger around. 

“What are you doing?” You ask. Your voice is barely above a whisper and it’s filled with tiredness. “Just drive,” You order sarcastically, nudging Neil with your elbow.  Your sarcasm melts away when you remember the gravity of the situation. “What if they’re already here? What if they’re looking for us?” 

Neil puts his phone in the cupholder, and rests his hand on your thigh. “I’m just setting up the GPS and choosing some music, love,” Neil says. “Take a deep breath. TP just arranged for us to stay at a different hotel, and he has eyes and ears everywhere. We’ll be alright.”

Ten decisions shape your life,

You’ll be aware of 5 about,

7 ways to go to school,

Either you’re noticed or left out.

“I love this song,” You say, struggling to keep your eyes open. 

“I know,” Neil says. “Try to sleep, I’ll wake you up when we get there.” His voice is calming, and you almost do as he says, but you remember where you are. You wanted to look at the city. You wanted to see it before all the chaos began. You had been to London plenty of times before, but leaving the United States still excited you, even though you were rarely there at all anymore.

When I said "I can see me in your eyes,”

You said "I can see you in my pants,”

That's not just friendship that's romance too.

You like music we can dance to.

The highway goes on for a while, looking reminiscent of highways in America. Grass and trees line the black concrete. There’s no light save for a few street lamps. Each time you start to doze off, you force yourself to wake up. The feeling of Neil’s thumb drawing circles on your thigh doesn’t make it too hard. 

Sit me down,

Shut me up,

I'll calm down,

And I'll get along with you.

The trees melt into industrial areas. Car dealerships, stores, apartments, hotels. And finally, after a few more minutes, you’ve hit Central London. The lights are bright and the buildings are beautiful. 

Don't don't don't don't it's not safe no more,

I've got to see you one more time.

Neil pulls into a parking garage and finds an open spot. “We’re here,” He says, squeezing your thigh lightly. 

You unbuckle your seat belt, carefully open the door, and slide out of the car. Neil grabs the two duffle bags and gets out after you. You head inside the hotel, and Neil checks in. He grabs the keycard and ushers you into the elevator. 

The second you enter the lift, worry fills Neil’s face. His brows furrow and he shuts his eyes as he lets his head hit the wall behind him. 

“Neil?” You ask. “What’s going on?” Maybe it was the jet lag, or maybe it was the exhaustion, but you feel more confident than usual. You step towards him and grab his hands in yours.

Neil takes a deep breath. “I’m so sorry we’re here,” He says, his eyes still closed, as if he’s too guilty to face you. “I didn’t want to do the mission yet. I really wanted to wait. I know you aren’t ready yet. I just-,” 

You wrap your arms around Neil, and hold him tightly against your body. “I’ll be alright Neil, I promise.” His arms wrap around your body in response. You pull away from him slightly, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. You look up into his eyes, down to his lips, and back into his eyes again. Neil brings his face closer to yours, so close that you can feel his breath against your lips. 

“(Y/N), I need to-,” 

The conversation is interrupted by the dinging of the elevator and the giggles of a drunken couple as they step inside. 

The woman speaks up. “Sssorry for interrupting, loves,” She slurs, cackling a bit. Her boyfriend joins in and cackles with her. Neil politely smiles and nods. He picks up the luggage yet again with one hand, grabbing your wrist with the other. He pulls you outside the elevator and into the hallway. 

Your heart is still beating wildly in your chest. “Neil, you had something you needed to say?”

But the moment is over. He shakes his head. “We can talk about it some other time, I don’t want to overwhelm you. Enough has happened tonight.” Your heart sinks in your chest. Neil swallows, glancing back over towards the elevator. “And those people seemed off. We should really get inside the room.” You nod, agreeing, and allow Neil to take hold of your hand and guide you down the hall to the suite.  

You finally approach the room. 

505. 

“This is us,” Neil says, setting the luggage on the ground to swipe the keycard. The door unlocks, and Neil press down on the handle. You enter the dully lit room, and immediately flop onto the king bed. Neil smirks at you from the doorway. 

He walks inside, and you sigh in relief. “This is so nice,” You murmur, sliding your black converse off your feet. You push yourself further onto the bed so that your head rests on a pillow. 

“We should probably shower,” Neil says, crossing the room. He places the duffle bags on the desk by the window. He takes his suit jacket off. 

You chuckle. “What, like, together?” You erupt into laughter. There was something about being so unbelievably tired and jet lagged that made you a completely different person. It was like being drunk. 

Neil shakes his head and smiles widely. “If that’s what you want,” He retorts.

Oh? Is he flirting with me? He can’t be.

“I-I think I’m t-too tired for a shower a-at all,” You stutter, not sure what else to say. 

“Me too,” Neil says. He begins to undo the buttons of his white dress shirt one by one. Suddenly, his chest is completely exposed. You feel heat rising to your cheeks. 

He undoes his belt, unzips his fly, and steps out of his trousers. He’s only wearing his boxers now. You had seen him like this a million times, but it still caught you by surprise. He walks over to the other side of the bed, grabs a pillow, and drops it on the ground. He grabs the throw blanket at the edge of the bed and drops it on the ground as well.

You furrow your brows, confused by his actions. “What are you doing?” You ask. 

Neil’s blue gaze meets yours. “Setting up camp,” He jokes, sending a smile your way.

You breathe deeply, still riding out on the confidence that being sleep deprived gave you. “Why don’t you sleep in the bed with me?” 

Neil inhales sharply. “I don’t want to bother you. You’re exhausted.”

“I think I’d sleep better if you were with me, actually.” You let the words come right out, no regrets. “You make me feel safe, Neil,” You confess. 

Neil smiles and bends down, grabbing the pillow and the blanket, placing them back on the bed. He lifts the covers and slides in. You get underneath the covers too. You don’t realize how close you are to Neil until you turn onto your side to face him. 

“I’m glad I make you feel safe, (Y/N),” Neil finally responds. Your heart feels like it might burst. You and Neil had shared a bed in the past, but you had only ever been this close inside of one a handful of times before. “You have no idea how much I care about you.”

“You have no idea how much I care about you, Neil,” You say. 

Neil pushes himself up a bit, and presses a kiss against your forehead. You’re stunned. “Goodnight, (Y/N),” Neil says, and he reaches over to turn off the lamp next to his nightstand. The room goes pitch black. 

“Goodnight, Neil,” You say. Neil turns over to the other side and you do the same. You stay like that for a few minutes, before tossing and turning a few times. Seconds ago you were comfortable, and now you weren’t. 

As you laid alone in your thoughts, your anxieties all began to flood back to you. How the fuck am I going to do this? How is this mission going to turn out? This is going to be absolutely impossible. What if something happens to Neil? Your mind races with thoughts. You turn a few more times before you feel a hand on your waist. 

“I thought you were exhausted,” Neil snickers. 

“I am but-,”

Neil cuts you off. “But that doesn’t stop your mind from racing?” 

You turn around to face him. “Unfortunately, no.”

Neil wraps his arms around you, and pulls you into his bare chest. “Is this okay?” He asks. 

“Y-yes,” You stutter, pressing your face into the center of his chest. 

And finally, for the first night in over a month, you were able to sleep, nightmare free. 

So why not try it all,

If you only remember it once?

Sit me down,

Shut me up,

I'll calm down,

And I'll get along with you.

>>>>>Chapter 3

[imaginedisish]

The daily update you guys never ask for:

1. I started writing chapter 3 of Devil’s Advocate, but unless I get a sudden burst of inspiration, it’ll be up tomorrow. If something changes, then maybe it’ll be up tonight, I’m not sure. It’s 11:20ish out here on the East Coast of the US, sooo if anything it may be up by 2 or 3am....idk!!

2. I have a lot of Bandersnatch requests, and I’ll be getting to them very soon!!! My requests are still open! They always are. I don’t really like closing them, bc they give me new, fresh ideas :) Request ANYTHING!

3. Thanks for being cool people and sticking with my blog for so long, or following me recently :) it means a lot.

That’s all for now :) see you guys later!

[imaginedisish]

I’m definitely going to be posting again tonight. Let me know what you guys want to see!!!!

I write for a lot so please request. Also feel free to ask me to continue things. I’ve been away for a while and I’m not sure what you guys are interested in at this point :))

Although....I really wanna write another Tenet one shot, or even possibly start a story😬

(oh also, I’ll write for Call Me By Your Name, I don’t think I ever mentioned that)

[imaginedisish]

Y’all mind if I potentially post a Tenet, Neil x reader fic tonight.....?

Too bad it’s happening.

(Also pls request stuff ah! Even stuff that isn’t tenet, as I’m a nerd and write for a million different fandoms)