#neil. dumb dumb neil doesnt even ask about what and says yes

[pocketsedition]

aftg as cliche high school au

i got bored and was wondering how the foxes would work in american high school stereotypes and now i’m here so. yeah ignore it if it sucks <3

neil would of course be the popular-kid-who-doesn’t-wanna-be-popular

depending on who you are he could either be really nice to you or the biggest fucking asshole

he’s on the cross country team as well as soccer w kevin (duh)

he mainly hangs out w other ‘popular kids’ like matt allison seth dan and occasionally the vixens but like only because his group knows them

he also vibes with renee occasionally

andrew would be the quiet kid who’s actually an asshole especially to teachers and reads during class is that a stereotype? i think so

he’s also probably a gamer kid and he wears a bunch of rings yes youll see

i’ll get more about him later

aaron is that kid in biology who’s got an A+ throughout the whole class and it annoys the shit out of everyone because that shouldn’t be possible

kevin is a jock. yes he is

he plays soccer and does cross country (can you do those both at the same time) (i’m not a sports person)

(let’s say yes for the sake of this)

he’s also one of those history nerd kids 

you know who i’m talking about

nicky is a theater kid and he can actually sing really well

he just never stops

he knows he’s good at singing but it’s annoying walking out of math every day hearing a random song

seth and matt are both jocks and best friends (besides neil) but there are significant differences about them

yes they both were highlighters during middle school but that’s besides the point

seth is one of those kids who during gym is always like “dOnT bE a sOrE LoSeR” whenever your team loses but when his team loses he’s a pissbaby talking about how you cheated and just e w 

he also has pot brownies in the middle of class

he probably asks you for answers for the homework too

matt just vibes and probably accidentally hits the volleyball too hard but everyone loves him anyway

he absolutely sucks at most classes and will absolutely be like “ohHHH thank youu :D” when you help him like literally the puppy eyes give you no choice but to help him

allison is the regina. fuckin george of school

but like if you guys end up sitting together during chemistry and you aren’t a complete dickhead to her she’ll probably give you candy or just whatever she has on her

renee is quiet girl whos actually got good grades and popular girl (allison) highkey has a crush on her

dan is like middle ground like shes a sports girl

but shell willingly hang out with both quiet kids and popular kids

overall really nice

OKAYOKAY NOW

neil ended up getting set up with one of the vixens marisa

(i think that was that girl who neil took to the banquet and was like "why do i need your number" to ?)

anyways he keeps trying to be like "no." over and over but she simply Wont Have It

and then next thing you know hes running for homecoming king and hes this close to breaking his own arm to get out of it

so now. he has to find an outfit

meanwhile Quiet Goth™ andrew minyard and his twin brother aaron have their dad who has a fashion business (mom died in a catastrophic car crash)

and everyone knows this so theyre always asking for like. help and discounts and shit

he says no to all of them

except neil whos in need of an outfit and

very very pretty

like uhh who gave you the r i g h t to have that awkward smile ???

and those t h i g h s ?

so andrews like "eh whatever sure"

yes yes yes yes

and. they end up getting kind of close ?

it kind of astounds everyone

aaron hates it he has calculus with neil and neil has the audacity to be so good at math and just so happens to be the only person andrew helps ?

seth is confused because andrews the only person he cant beat in a good one v one of exy

but also andrew buys a bunch of pot brownies from him and ???? he doesnt know why bc he doesnt even look high most of the time

he gives them to security guards as bribery so he can keep his knives on him during school

and now neils just friends w him ????

and its going well

"so you don't wanna be popular" "...yeah" "then dont"

neil retorts with:

"so your telling me your dad runs a fashion business and you wear all black"

they go back and forth for like half an hour

andrew starts trying to teach neil how to play videogames

neil fucking sucks but he doesnt really care because andrews nice

and actually helping neil pick out his outfit is a fucking pain because he so pretty picky

andrew dies

anyways

neil starts opening up about how he doesnt actually like marisa and andrews like "tell her"

"i hav she just doesnt. listen >:("

andrew offers to but neil knows about the frog knives (yes the frog knives) and hes like hah nice try

they still have nights on the roof and cigarettes and secrets shared

so everything happens and it finally gets to marisas head that neil doesnt wanna go to homecoming (with her. that is)

its like 4 days before homecoming and he jsut snaps

"yaknow i get it—"

she ends up crying but neil doesnt care at this point shes finally off his back

lets face it he would not care that man has zero morals

and so its homecoming night and neils this close to simply Not Going

but matt and seth are on the football team and they have their game and he spent hours looking for a suit

so he goes to the game and he hangs out with the upperclassmen

deliberately avoids the team because theres ways vixens nearby and he cant deal with marisa rn

so he hangs out

he sees aaron in the stands and asks if andrews around aaron just shrugs

useless

and the games over matts team wins yay !!!

everyones happy

now its time for the dance

neils dreading it

he goes and tries to avoid the general public because Ew People

and he sees andrew hiding from the noise in a hallway with no people

theyre quiet until neil follows andrew out to the back of the school and to the middle of the empty soccer field

"you werent at the game"

andrew shrugs "i didnt care about the game"

"and you care about the dance?"

"aaron doesnt have his own car"

"mhm"

andrew rolls his eyes

its quiet and neils just looking at andrew

he kinda had a realization the other night with matts help

andrew simply stares back

"yes or no"

"yes"

kith :)

the school doesnt notice they’re a thing until andrew shows up to school one day wearing what may or may not be one of those wrist. sweatband thingies

im dumb i forgot what theyre called

and neil always has one of andrews rings on him and hes always fidgeting with it

anyways i might write a fic who knows not me❤️

[meanminyxrd]

punchdrunk but it’s andreil based

hey losers i’m back with another song analysis, as always. i have a playlist for my andreil vibes if you’re curious, here it is. i actually have a lot but this one is for my slightly sad yearning andreil vibes. 

anyways, today we are covering punchdrunk by vaines. i really really enjoy this song for them and i hope i can covey it!! let’s go (:

I remember driving your car 'cause I never had one

And if I did I probably would’ve crashed it

And if I died who would’ve cared?

Maybe you would cry sometimes

Maybe you would just be fine

Because I know we weren’t in love

You just wanted to pass the time

(And that was alright)

the first line of this is pretty black and white. neil driving andrew’s car <3333 that’s it that’s the tweet. when he’s saying he’d crash one if he had his own its because he has to destroy a lot and leave stuff behind because of his past. he constantly is working to hide his past from the FBI. furthermore, he thought he was going to die for the majority of the books, and when he died, who was supposed to care? he had no one. it was this ‘me, myself, and i’ mentality because that was what kept him alive. he was constantly in danger, and when he was with andrew that’s why he made him take away the promise; he didn’t want andrew hurt because of his actions. by saying ‘maybe you would cry sometimes, maybe you would be just fine’ shows how he doesn’t think andrew actually cares ab him because 1. neil is an oblivious fuck and 2. andrew is a raging tsundere. andrew is always like ‘i dont like u’ blah blah, explaining the line ‘because i know we weren’t in love you just wanted to pass the time’ but neil was okay w it; ‘and that was alright’

I got it bad and I feel so lonely

Thought I wanted love I just wanted you

Now we’re together but you don’t even know me

But I’m stuck, what am I gonna do?

uhhh, like, poor fuckin neil man. he really had it bad for this man i really dunno how he survived when andrew was in the mental hospital HAHA. but fr he must have been so lonely, never allowing himself to make attachments, and then he makes this really skewed one with some midget maniac and then that same man goes to a hospital. that can’t have been a fun time (and it wasn’t).

‘thought i wanted love i just wanted you’, god, i love this line. remember when he looks at nicky and matt to see if he feels anything different? sees if he feels attracted to them, but he doesnt? he thinks he’s just craving affection after all this time, but no, its andrew he craves, it’s andrew he wants and chooses.

‘now we’re together but you dont even know me’ this motherfucker is living behind this silly ‘neil’ persona for a time when he’s with andrew and andrew only has this red headed man built of half truths. ‘now im stuck, what am i gonna do?’ he can’t run away like he’s used to because now he cares about andrew and he’s promised to stay.

Guess I’ll stick around

Being with you is only making me feel

Like I’m further from you then I’ve ever been

But I’m right there when you call me 'cause I’m so lonely

I don’t wanna bring it to an end

now, neil stays because he promised andrew he would, and andrew makes him feel so different and special and happy. but also while he’s with andrew he feels so far away because he isn’t being himself and andrew keeps denying whatever this,,, scuffed relationship is. but whenever andrew initiates contact, asks him yes or no, tells him to meet him somewhere or do something, neil is THERE in a heartbeat because he’s so caught up with the idea of andrew and he doesn’t want what they have to ever end even tho he’s convinced it will, one day, come to that point.

I remember feeling so young

Nothing's gonna bring me down

And if you jumped I would’ve followed

All the way down to the bottom

Better days are over now

Everything is slowing down

And you still won’t say it’s love

You just wanna pass the time

Fine

being with andrew brings him up, makes him happy, makes him FEEL something. nothing was gonna take him away from that. he would have followed andrew anywhere because he quite literally trusted andrew with his life. but the good days are over, (cut to baltimore) he’s being fucked up by his dad’s men and he thinks he’s gonna die then (cut to post baltimore) andrew does all this shit for him but STILL says he doesnt care ab neil and he just wants to pass the time. and neil is like, fine, what the fuck ever. if this is just a cheap fuck then by god im going to enjoy it while it lasts. and he’s starting to think andrew might feel *something*, but there’s no confirmation that can be seen by our lovely oblivious lil man.

Don’t stop, I know that it’s not what

I want but I need somebody to be mine

Oh god, I can’t tell you what’s up

I’m so deep in punch drunk, dumb love

I don’t ever wanna wake up

he doesnt want to be tied down. trusting someone and staying in one place for a long time? no. no way. that’s not something that neil abram josten does. he does not stay, he does not trust anyone, and by god he does NOT fall in love. but he gets to a point where he needs andrew. all he can think of in the hospital is the foxes and andrew, god, ANDREW, the prick he’s fallen in love with and can’t get out of love with. and he begs andrew to let him stay (post baltimore, hotel scene) because he NEEDS to stay, he NEEDS the foxes but more importantly he NEEDS andrew. but he’ll leave if he has to. he’ll leave if andrew asks him to because he cares more about andrew than he does himself, but he can’t explain any of this to andrew, because he’s never felt this before and he doesnt know what he’s even feeling. he just knows that somewhere along the line he fell head over heels into this situation for andrew and god he doesnt think he’ll ever be ready for it to end.

Got me brainwashed, everything is hazy

Am I killing time? Are you killin' me?

Mind games daily, why do I let you play me?

Do you get high watching me bleed?

(Now I’m bleeding out)

this part, for me, is more so a cut to the first book when andrew is just fuckin manic 24/7 because of his drugs. he drugs neil (brainwashed, hazy) and kidnaps him. neil is so stressed out by this situation that he doesn’t know who is winning in this stupid war he has with this psycho midget (am i killing time? are you killing me?). we all know andrew joseph minyard LOVES to torment neil even when shit is chill so he plays mind games with him constantly, and neil just lets it happen, because that’s who neil *is*. nathaniel wouldn’t stand for this shit, but that’s not the personality he’s portrayed and he isn’t eager to break character; not yet. and andrew always is so damn HAPPY, no matter what, bc of the drugs (again, first book for this verse). so the ‘do you get high watching me bleed?’ is like neil being like, do u really enjoy watching everyone around you hurt?? are you actually happy with all of this?

Running in circles while you hurt me, guess I deserve it

'Cause I just keep on worshiping you again and again

And I’m there when you call me 'cause I’m so– *beep*

I don’t want the misery to end

this part is a little tricky to explain canonically, i guess, but i attribute it once more to andrew denying his feelings. nora never explains it in the books, but i know from experience that this is SUCH a confusing scenario to be in. to have someone acting like they care and speaking differently. and neil must have been so confused (running in circles) but he feels he deserves it because it isnt like he’s trying to leave or anything, and he’s always there when andrew asks because like it or not, he’s attached. even tho this confusion sucks sometimes, and the whole hearted belief he has that andrew really does not care hurts beyond belief inside, he buries those feelings because he isnt ready to let andrew go.

that’s pretty much all of it; can you tell i’m obsessed with andreil?? i just love them so much. they’re so special to me. like, i dont think either of them ever saw a relationship coming; it just happened, and that’s what is so inherently beautiful to me about them. it started with a kiss, a ‘yes or no?’ and escalated from there. neil expected one day andrew was going to get bored of him, just like andrew always said he was. but he never did. he never will. 

so yeah!! hope u enjoyed xoxo see y’all soon <3

[australian-desi]

Qurbaan Hua ~ Episode 10-14: Of Murder, Bel-Gadis and The Death of My Favourite Character

There’s a lot of shouting, sorry in advance 

Episode 10

Wow he really had the audacity to ask forgiveness 

Do not tell me he’s the one that killed Saraswati 

He’s trying to intimidate her??????? With what????? 

She actually packs a punch, she pushed him right off of her

See this is the stuff I love about her 

SHE LOCKED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE AS WELL!!!!!! OMG WHAT A DAY IT HAS BEEN A TELLYWOOD CHARACTER WITH INTELLIGENCE 

And that’s on saying Sarasti instead of Saraswati you swine 

Where is this goddamn mandir, and why did she not take a car or something 

He’s found her (it’s not her fault, she tried her best to hide) and omfggggg she’s right next to a cliff 

I THOUGHT SHE DIED IN CHILDBIRTH OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

HE THREW HIS HEAVILY PREGNANT WIFE DOWN THE STAIRS AND HE WANTS TO BE THE HEAD PRIEST

HOLY SHIT 

OMG 

WHY AM I HERE 

AND HER COUSIN IS JUST WATCHING THIS HAPPEN

ofcourse Neil’s rakhi breaks just as is sister is dying 

NAVELI BE OUT HERE ACTUALLY JUSTIFYING KILLING HER SISTER WTAFFFFFFFFFFFF 

CAN NEIL LISTEN TO HIS GODDAMN THIRD SENSE AND GO GET HIS SISTER FFSS

WHAT DID I TELL HIM, TAKE YOUR SISTER AND LEAVE BUT NOOOOOO 

MANS IS KILLING HER RUTHLESSLY 

He’s also comparing a position to the love of his unborn child????????????

HOLY SHIT THIS MAN IS GOING TO PIN THE WHOLE MURDER ON DOCTOR BAIG 

KILLLLL MOIIIIII

I KNEW THIS SHOW WAS INTENSE BUT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR A FULL FLEDGED MURDER 

IT TOOK NEEL AN UNANSWERED PHONECALL, BROKEN RAKHI AND A LECTURE FROM A SAGE TO GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE

NOT THE FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM AND PANIC 

Here Daddy Pandit is preaching that all human beings are equal, and being Hindu does not make you better or worse than those of other religions 

If these are his thoughts, why does he refuse medical help from people of other religions, I do not understand 

Ummm surely the doctor can tell the marks all over her body are from being physically assaulted and not just from a trivial fall

GOTTA LOVE CHAHAT, WHO IS A FRESH NEW DOCTOR, WAS ABLE TO TELL THAT SOMETHING’S UP, SHE DIDN’T JUST FAINT AND NOT A SENIOR DOCTOR

ALSO SHYAM1.5 IS OUT HERE FULLY READY TO SHIFT THE BLAME AS IF HE BROKE A GLASS OR SOMETHING AND NOT FULLY KILL HIS WIFE 

Episode 11 

Neel, is still running around the house screaming for his sister when it is quite clear no one is there, so good on him

Again I say, for a doctor this man is quite daft - DOCTORS ARE TRAINED TO LOOK FOR ABUSE

The fact my girl has to conduct CPR in the hospital really shows how much it is lacking in medical technology, so I guess Anjali2.0 was fucked from the start

And he’s now talking to Daddy Pandit, who is continuing the pooja as if Neel isn’t even there 

VYASJI IS USELESS, GO LOOK FOR HER ON YOUR OWN YOU DIMWIT 

This dumbass doctor is asking him point blank if it is a case of domestic violence as if he will just admit to it

YOU CALL THE POLICE FOR THE INTERROGATION YOU DONT JUST CONDUCT IT YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY 

Pehla banda dekha jo pandit banne ke liye itne paap ekhate kar raha hai 

Also since when did pandits become gunde 

The baby has survived?????? Wow I am proud

Well this is just, holy shit, ummm, religion is an absolute joke when taken to these levels and like the joke is really all on them, because one of their own is a murderer/abuser/womaniser/manipulator 

SARASWATI GET UP AND MURDER HIM BACK COZ WTAF

CAN THE DOCTOR MOVE OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY SO IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE SHE’S POINTING AT HIM

I KNEW THIS WOULD FKN HAPPEN

HOLY SHIT AND SHE’S GONE 

There goes the only person in Neel’s whole household (apart from Neel) that I liked 

These people are proper dumb, she was clearly pointing at the doctor 

AND IS NO ONE LOOKING AT HIS GLEE OF HIS WIFE’S DEATH

ITS DADDY PANDIT NOT GIVING A SINGLE SHIT THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS MISSING 

HOLLLYYY SHIETTT NEEL GO SEE YOUR SISTER RATHER THAN CARRYING OUT YOUR AINVAYI KE DRAMATICS 

GOOD NOW SHE’S DEAD AND YOUR KAMINA JIJA IS ABOUT TO GET AWAY WITH IT

Omgggggg why have they hit me with the manpain so early in the show, im going to cry 

Holy shiettt my dude is going to get so fucked over this, I can’t 

Episode 12-14

Basically, I’m just very triggered by this whole thing

Neel has lost all sense and is after blood, because murder as revenge does not count as a paap apparently 

Chahat is the only one with half a brain in this whole show, the person with the other half is now dead #rip #IAmStillTraumatisedFromHerDeath

Daddy Pandit is a horrible actor, coz I felt nothing, when he sees his daughter’s dead body, and the fact that I showed more emotion at Saraswati’s death 

Fake Kamini knows something’s up between Shyam1.5 and Naveli, and she does not bat an eye which is worrying 

When Neel ‘saved’ Chahat it was quite hot, it got me going (coz his whole body covers hers, and she clutches on to him tightly and that whole thing)

Ofcourse she faints coz she wouldn’t be an ITV female lead if she didn’t 

Gotta also love how dramatic Neel got, with the whole, the person who’s blood I’m after, his daughter is in my arms, and my sister would also want me to avenge her death

Neel darling, yes she does want you to avenge her death, but I really wish you were a bit smarter to know/bother to find out who actually killed her even though I know this whole thing is a mess, you are an emotional mess and can’t think straight, but please calm down and think 

Also, if I was Daddy Pandit or Neel I would’ve lost my faith in God a long long time ago, so proud of both of them in keeping this religion thing up

HAVE THESE CRAZIES REALISED THAT THE CHILD IS WELL AND ALIVE 

OMFG THAT IN ITSELF IS ENOUGH PROOF THAT THEY DIDN’T KILL SARASWATI

COULDN’T THEY GET A POST-MORTEM REPORT DONE AS WELL WHICH WILL TELL THEM SHE DIED FROM TRAUMA NOT FROM POISONING 

Awww that scene when Saraswati’s spirit comes to Neel to snap him out of his bullshit, that was sweet, hopefully he calms down and is able to get some much needed therapy, and go live happily with Meera

Who am I kidding

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE HIT HER WITH A BELL, AND IT FELL AROUND HER NECK, AND THEN LIKE A BEL-GARDI, HE IS DRAGGING HER 

OMG WE’RE LITERALLY AT THE POINT WHERE THE ABUSE HAS LED TO A COMPLETE DEHUMANISATION OF THE FEMALE LEAD 

ALSO ENJOYED THE WHOLE BELL HITTING HER MAANG, SO IT LOOKS LIKE SINDOOR - THAT’S VERY VERY FUCKED 

I CANNOT

WHAT THE FUCK

WHY AM I WATCHING THIS

We’ve gone from occasional forceful arm grabbing to tying a bell around the girl’s neck AND PULLING IT BY IT 

and I’m also lolling at the warning about how they don’t promote this behaviour

OMG DADDY PANDIT IS THE ONLY ONE WITH HUMANITY IN THIS WHOLE VILLAGE HOLY FUCKING SHIT (he’s said how burning the hospital down, going after their life, rioting etc. is not okay and is against everything he has taught his followers) 

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I THINK THIS MAN WOULD COME OUT AND BE THE MOST SENSIBLE

And he’s keeping her hostage, lovely 

It’s amazing how it’s taken them this long to call law enforcement

Well Neel has well and truly lost it, now he’s having another go at his dad

And Mami has found out that Chahat is in a room and coz of the blood/bell/sindoor situation has assumed that she’s Neel’s gf who he has just gotten married to

I don’t blame her, that’s on Neel locking a woman in his house 

Now I’m wondering can this show get even more fucked than it already is

[genderfluidkevinday]

genderfluid kevin day headcanons bc i can do what i want and also i have the perfect url to spread my “please representation” propaganda. 

“how did you know?”

because in the quiet of nights when kevin is supposed to be asleep but he cant, not really, when his heart is still pounding from practice and every breath riko makes him terrified of being caught, he reads what he stole from the public library and it says sometimes people do not fit into the gender they were assigned and

because by sneaking searches on the internet when he can, kevin finds words. dangerous, un-raven-like words for how to love someone and how to be yourself. he finds words that mean you are not alone. 

because he wakes up one day and demands to be the queen of exy, to be seen as what he is. the best. more powerful than the king. (not entirely cisgender?)

because it feels right. 

because in the quiet between exy and family, kevin day has the time and the love to have the quiet understanding that this is who kevin day is. 

it’s kinda a shitty realization process to go through- kevin starts questioning in the ravens, then immediately goes “No TM !” and internalizes all those feelings 

kevin internalizes All the feelings, always ! compartmentalizing!

bisexuality? put it in a box!

gender identity? put it in a box!

feeling crushing inferiority? put it in a box!

mom died tragically? put it in a box!

ur dad isnt here? put it-

jesus fuck these headcanons were supposed to be happy and it got SO derailed 2 points in

anyways 

post canon, kevin starts to become more comfortable w every aspect of himself, and finally takes the time to have a gender crisis

and then, immediately, decides it was all ridiculous and he was actually a cisgender all along !

he does the dumb thing i did. which is spend about a month going “lmao i’m cis but i wish i wasn’t, i don’t need a gender!” while badly ignoring his gender crisis

it’s renee who finally helps kevin out a little

kevin, dumbass: pfft, gender is stupid, but i’m cis so whatever! renee, nb lesbian icon: are you sure? kevin, having a crisis:

renee actually sends kevin a bunch of links to pages that have lots of words, and “what gender are you” quizes, and dumb memes about being trans/nonbinary and it shouldn’t help as much as it does. 

renee is the first person kevin quietly texts at like, 2 am, and goes, “uh, can you use they, i think?”

her response is, obviously, “of course!”

so they’re like, pretty sure they’re not cis, but they bounce around labels for about a week before they end up settling on genderfluid. 

sometimes kevin day is a boy, with loud opinions and soft hands. sometimes kevin day is a girl, with messy hair and a bright smile. sometimes kevin day is neither, with clumsy limbs and determined eyes

(however- kevin day can always outclass any striker on a court.) 

it just feels right, in a way nothing else did. 

theyre like,,, super nervous about coming out, like, they can’t even come up with the courage to tell their dad they’re bi, how the fuck are they gonna end up telling anyone else? solution! don’t.

except kevin is becoming more comfortable with every aspect of themself, and being casually bisexual around the foxes (nicky makes one too many jokes about kevin’s “”hetero guy crush”” on jeremy and they end up snapping “bitch i’m bi there’s nothing hetero about it.” and nicky is immediately like !!!!!!!!!!!!!) (but thats another post)

so kevin, with the growing comfort that yes, you can be non-heterosexual and non-cisgender and still be fucking amazing at exy, they start to come out

it’s a slow process because when they tried to do it all at once, they got tongue tied and just walked away without saying anything. so they end up doing it individually. 

allison first (because renee can be there and give support AND bc allison is also A Trans), and kevin whispers, “so, I’m genderfluid.”

allison, casually: what are your pronouns? kevin: she/her. i’m a girl today. allison, with all the softness of someone who has been there: do you want me to do your makeup? kevin, with all the softness of someone who’s new to this: maybe one day.

after allison is andrew+neil, because they spend so much time together at night practice it’s inevitable it comes up

and by that i mean kevin screams halfway through night practice “THIS IS GENDERFLUIDPHOBIA” because andrew keeps blocking her shots. 

andrew flips her off.

neil asks if thats an actual term.

kevin says to fuck off and keep practicing.

next is wymack. 

oh boy. 

so kevin isn’t even sure how to be a good son- she has no idea how to go about being a good daughter. she has no clue how to be a good child. 

she doesn’t know if wymack even wants that.

but she goes to him after practice and he snaps, “what is it?” in a voice thats maybe a little less gruff than usual

and she says, “i’m genderfluid.”

he stares at her for a while.

she continues, “i’m a girl today, actually, and i just thought you should know.”

wymack asks, “you’ll tell me when it changes, right?”

kevin nods and leaves. 

its a start.

telling jean feels like a really big deal, but in hindsight its about fifteen minutes of bad puns that follow an awkwardly worded coming out. 

kevin: so like... guys right jean: yes? kevin: what if... i wasn’t one jean: are you trying to come out to me? kevin: is it working?

the rest of the monsters follows after that- aaron obviously doesnt understand, but he doesnt say anything rude. (he looks into it later). nicky, immediately, takes a supportive role.

nicky: I’M GONNA STAPLE A GENDERFLUID FLAG TO MY FACE THATS HOW MUCH I SUPPORT YOU kevin, softly: please don’t how would you play exy.

matt and dan get a less official coming out, because kevin isn’t sure how to be friends with them at all. but they manage a “so, i’m not a guy, actually, i’m genderfluid, and right now i don’t have a gender.”

dan gives them a set of pronoun bracelets for their birthday and matt gives them a book about the history of the nonbinary community and yeah, maybe this is how to be friends.

the baby foxes don’t get to find out. kevin doesn’t trust them as much, and isn’t ready to be... out out. 

kevin has absolutely no desire to change their name, at all.

kevin: why would i change my name i’m an ICON.

WAIT i lied,,, they change their middle name to kayleigh. 

the first time kevin gets invited to a girls night, she cries

its a surprise, which is hard to plan- girls nights are always on tuesdays, so they have to wait for a tuesday where kevin is free and feels like a girl

renee casually mentions that they have a history book that kevin might like, so she should come pick it up

and then in the dorm, dan and allison are setting up a movie and popcorn and renee is getting her nails painted. dan waves kevin over and tells her to pick a movie, allison tells her to pick out a nail polish, and renee actually does have a history book for her.

kevin finally accepts a make over from allison. 

she cries like five times that night and tries to brush it off as nothing but... kevin can finally exist in a space, and feel welcome, and also feel... wanted.

it’s a good feeling

kevin, wearing a crop top with the genderfluid flag on it, painting renee’s nails as they watch the trojans game: lmao can you imagine thinking i was cis? what was i thinking? i was so dumb lol.  renee, sweetly: no it was a perfectly normal reaction to being raised in a cisnormative society, and i’m very proud of you for figuring out that it wasn’t right for you kevin: dammit renee why do you have to be so kind and supportive just let me make jokes about my moron-ness in PEACE 

kevin day is the fucking QUEEN of exy !!!!!!! she’s better than you and you know it. 

each and every day kevin day hears misogonistic comments towards female exy players and each and every day kevin day wants to scream B I T C H in their face

he wanted to do this even before he figured out he was genderfluid bc kevin day drank respect women juice before realizing he was also drinking sometimes i am women juice

kevin actually 100% hates dresses a lot bc they can never find any that are a good texture and its Sensory Hell, and also you cant play exy in them?? what the fuck??? 

they end up liking crop tops and short shorts, and a few kinds of makeup, but skirts and dresses are dumb and itchy actually 

kevin goes on an impassioned rant about this at LEAST once a month

you know that really good feeling when you wake up one day and you realize you’re happier knowing who you are and maybe it’s rough and maybe it’s not perfect but you get to know who you are and your friends respect and love you for who you are and you start to realize you love knowing you too????????

yeah.

kevin day is genderfluid and this is my hill to die on thank you and good night

[mazojo]

Favorite Sohma’s

Hi yes, uh, I needed a space to rant about fruits basket because I am still very broken so yea

Disclaimer that this is just my opinion and I still love them all very much, just needed to get this out of my system ayee. Also I will include a song that reminds me of them because I am that invested in this so yeaaaa

14- Kagura Sohma

Boy by Little Mix - “I know what you’re worth girl, you know what you got”

I rank Kagura as my least favorite just for the fact that I cant really relate to her I guess? I mean, she is okay, I think she is cute and all but I don't think violence is the way to go about her struggles and she is so much more worth than she gives herself credits for. In the end, I dont think I full understood her big struggle as much as the other characters and thats why she is at number 14, although I want her to be happy and full of love and support like the others ;w;

13- Akito Sohma

My Eyes by Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day - “But it’s plain to see, Evil inside of me is on the rise”

Akito is a complicated one for me man. Of course, in the beginning and throughout the manga you learn to really dislike her because she did some terrible things, specially to my baby boi Yuki and eye-.... But then when we learn more about her and everything she has gone through we start sympathizing with her but i..... cant just forget everything she did. I get she was traumatized since she was little, she became dependent on the zodiacs because of her father’s words and mother’s behaviour thus becoming a broken person with this big responsibility she didn't ask for. It really ticks me however, how much pain the others underwent through her, and even though its a healing process, the traumas and everything they suffered is still there which is why I cant place her higher. I do not hate her by any means, but she isnt my favorite person on this list either. I do ship her with Shigure and I think they help each other out, and they grow from the other.

12- Shigure Sohma

Used to the Darkness by Des Rocs - “Now would you pray before you twist the knife? Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life?”

*big sigh* Shigure is also a complicated one for me. It may be my big dumb energies showing but I didnt fully get a grasp on his character? I know he was doing everything for Akito’s sake to liberate from the curse and be with her so she is finally a “woman” but he always acted a bit shady xD?? I would have love to know more about his backstory, we dont get much from his motivations and character other than the perverted aspect and that he loves Akito lmaoo. I do think he is hilarious and I love the dynamic he has with Hatori and Ayame lol

11- Ayame Sohma

Starships by Nicky Minaj - “Starships were menat to fly, Hands up and touch the sky “

To be honest I am pretty neutral about Ayame’s character. He is hilarious and I love how Yuki insults him every tike he gets the chance lolll. I like how throughout the story he tries to change to become a better brother to Yuki and person even though he is pretty extra most of the time about it. He has a good heart and even though he made some mistakes he owns up to them which in my opinion, makes him a good character <33 I love his friendship with Hatori lmaooo they balance each other out sooo well

10- Kureno Sohma

Taking Chances by Celine Dion - “Never knowing if there's solid ground below, Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay”

I really like Kureno! He has gone through quite a bit and he needs a hug. I am sad thinking how most of his life he lead it pretty similarly to Yuki’s, apart from everyone and super enclosed to his relationship with Akito due to him breaking the curse and feeling bad about it. I do wish we would have gotten to know more about his personality and story, if we did I would have definitely ranked him higher! He really reminds me of Tohru’s father and I think Uotani is perfect for him <33 would have love to see more about the two of them and hopefully they expand upon it in the anime

9- Ritsu Sohma

Waving Through a Window by Ben Platt - “On the outside, always looking in, Will I ever be more than I've always been?”

Okay okay so I have a lot of thoughts on Ritsu. Manga Ritsu is okay, I really dont have much of an opinion on him due to him appearing only in a few chapters, I feel like from the Sohma’s, he is the one we get the least information about. But then the anime episode came out where they presented Ritsu and I thought they gave him so much more life and rounded personality where, I get to relate a lot to him? I am someone who is constantly apologizing for absolutely no reason and seeing him be all anxious and stressed about others interactions is big relate to me and I stan. I also think the whole dressing as a woman plot line is better dealt with in the anime and I hope we get to see more about his insecurities and troubles in the future because he is truly a very interesting character! I stan my one (1) anxious monkey.

8- Kisa Sohma

Mean by Taylor Swift - “But you can take me down with just one single blow, But you don't know what you don't know”

Cinnammon rooooooolll. Kisa is such a cutie. I dont have much to say other than my mood every time I think about Kisa is hugging her like Tohru does because she is babyyyy. Also her bullying story is one I think many viewers and readers can relate a lot to and such an important topic I think they covered pretty well and I loveee. Also her and Hiro are one of my favorite ships because they work so well and asdfgh in this household Kisa is a queennn.

7- Isuzu Sohma

Take me Home by Jess Glynne - “Came to you with a broken faith, Gave me more than a hand to hold”

I really like Isuzu!! I am pretty bummed we wont get to meet her in season 1 of the Anime reboot but hopefully in the nest season! She is quite a complex character that I didnt really understand at the beginning but once we see how much she loves Haru and all that she does in order to protect and keep him save she really went up my list. She has gone through so much, from her shattered reality from her parents, Akito threatening Haru, her being locked up withour given any food.... Isuzu is so strong and one of the best build characters in the series and I am super excited to see her in the anime!

6- Hiro Sohma

Time to be a Man by The Airborne Toxic Event - “And it’s time to be a man, Tell me how does that go?”

My bastard childdd <33 He is such an asshole and such a sweetie at the same time. His whole inner struggle of not feeling like a good enough man for Kisa is so heartwhelming and I think it really makes sense to the type of person he is. The flashbacks of him telling Akito how he loves Kisa and the feeling of uncertainty and impotency when seeing the girl he loves being hurt by his actions and wanting to be good enough for her even though he is more than enough sdfghjasd. I am also a softie for older brothers who love their families *cough cough* spoiler alert: Momiji *cough cough* that I love me one angry boi

5- Hatsuharu Sohma

4 Seasons by Rex Orange County - “I saw myself as less and you so high above me”

Cow boil! apart from the fact that I love love loveeee Haru’s design, I think he is also such a well build character! He is not only supportive of everyone (aka the loves of his life, Rin and Yuki xDD) but he is so interesting! His split personalities give him a cool trait (even though dark Haru doesnt appear much in the end of the manga) and I love how he helps everyone and makes sure those he loves are protected at all cost and happy. He is Rin and Yuki’s fan club stan leader and I am co-leader so we been stanning aye

4- Hatori Sohma

Fireflies by Owl City - “I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes, I got misty eyes as they said farewell”

Boooooy the next four to come are my absolute favorties and I would die for their happiness and love so *takes big breathe* I LoVE hAtORi sOhMAAa. To be honest when we first meet him I didnt like him much. I thought he was your usual dark deep character who doesnt talk much because he is too cool for everyone (which, he is) and that was that. But boi was I in for a riDE. His story about having to erase the memories from the woman he loves is one of the ones I cried through the most. I put myself in his shoes and wonder if I had to erase the memory of the person I loved the most, make them forget they ever met me, all our happy times, sad times, angry times.... No matter what its one of the most saddening moments and the whole scene is heartbreaking, which makes me love Hatori even more for the fact of how strong he is and selfless. He puts himself before others and he need to know he also deserves happiness and I am glad in the end he got it because homeboy needed a break ;w;. I also adore Ayame’s relationship with him xDD, he is like his idol and big same.

3- Kyo Sohma 

This song saved my Life by Simple Plan - “Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, Trapped in a world where everyone hates me”

Top three babyyyy. We have now my angry cat boi™. I mentioned it before but going into the reboot firsthand without reading the manga nor watching the first anime, I thought Kyo was going to be my absolute favorite character. I knew he would be the angry boi who was soft inside and probably had a tragic backstory™ that made him act the way he did and I am a sucker for those types of characters. And I love Kyo, I really do, specially when we find out more about his struggles and past. The exclusion he felt throughout his life for being the cat, the abandonment, feeling like he had no one and was ready to die because he didn't have any source of genuine happiness (well, apart from Kazuma ya know but stillll). Then he finds Tohru, the girl he promised to protect, the one that reminded him of the woman that helped him out all those years ago and I just.... poetic cinema at its finest. Kyo and Tohru make one of my favorite couples and I love how flustered and In absolute l o v e he is with her and Kyo is great man....

2- Yuki Sohma

Nandemonaiya by RADWIMPS - “Crying even when you're happy, Smiling even when you're feeling lonely”

THIS WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST DECISIONS OF MA ENTIRE WEEB CAREER SO EXCUSE WHILE I SCREAM. Yuki Sohma won my heart and entire soul throughout the series. I liked him from the start but he wasn't my favorite favorite at the beginning you know? I thought he was isolated and thats why he didn't have much friends and he was perfect and what not but boi was I wrong and happy about it. I think one of the reasons Yuki is one of my favorite characters in fruits basket is how much I can see myself in him. Having the constant need of perfection while also wanting to connect with others but finding it hard is something I personally struggle with and every time we learned a little bit about his backstory my heart broke. Everything Yuki had to go through, the rejection, the isolation, understanding that you are loved and not a burden, falling in love with someone, finding that figure of a mother/friend he always yearned for.... The complexity of Yuki’s character is astounding and I love my rat boi so so much.... When he joins the student council, finding his little group of friends and opening up to a more carefree and true Yuki, forgiving those around him and going and eye- YuKI IS MY BABY RAT BOI AND STAN HIM OR PERISH FROM HERE ;w;

1- Momiji Sohma 

Eine Kleine by Rachie - “If I were to go through life living just to take somebody else's place, Then I would rather have been born as a pebble, living out my peaceful days “

*Clears throat* *trumpets sounds intensify* *stands on podium* I LOVE MOMIJI SOHMA WITH ALL MY HEART AND HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. Thats it. Thats what I want you to get out of this post. I don't know if this is maybe an unpopular opinion-ish but Momiji’s backstory of his mother rejecting him, saying awful things, him having to accept being forgotten by his mother and sister whom he loved, not even being able to live with his family, is one of the most heartbreaking ones of fruits basket. Maybe its like what I said with Hiro and I am a sucker for big brothers that love their families, the sad smile of Momiji, my baby, angel, perfection when he sees his family and not being able to be with them, him loving Tohru but letting her go and be with Kyo because its her happiness that matters to him and I am-..... The selflessness of Momiji and how much of a sweetheart he is, his heart of gold and always being there for those around him, that moment where Akito was looking for Tohru and he got hurt trying to defend her.... Momiji is one of my all time favorite characters. He is a precious bean and I will never not shut up about my love for ma boi <333

Anyways that was long and ramble but I just needed to shout this somewhere because I've been missing they //rip

[polzkadotz]

Asas reread their fics - ftayc - chapter 5

has it been literal weeks since I’ve done this? yes do i remember how long this chapter was? nope

and yet this has been sitting in my drafts because I kept being too lazy to come here and write the tags lmao

I’ll be reading this chapter of my fic from the ashes you crawl

It begins right after they have left Moriyama and Andrew transforms itself back into human form in the air, so Neil could be nicely held down by Andrew on top of him because Andrew is Dramatic, I guess.

Neil expects Andrew to ask a lot of things, but Andrew ends up saying that he knew exactly where Neil had been and he wanted to know why he knew that.

There’s also Neil calling Andrew’s dragon a “giant squirming worm” lmao

Neil reminds Andrew that he doesn’t need to hit him since they still have their game of truth for a truth, so Neil waits for Andrwe to offer something and Andrew caomes up with,

“I didn’t notice that you were living inside my brain in an unusual way” Andrew stop, we already know you’re gay my dude, just be Honest

Neil reveals to Andrew that he knew that because Andrew had become his priest and that the priest choosing process usually went through with wild magic, which Neil does not control. Andrew says that he doesn’t want that, but Neil tells him if he really doesn’t want to be his priest, putting distance between them would make the bond fade, but it would take a decade. Andrew, of course, wants it out at that moment, and the only way for that to happened would be if Andrew became immortal himself.

They go back to the hotel and Neil is a little bit hyper until Jean appears in the room out of nowhere. They all go into fighting mode--except Andrew, who knows what the fuck is going on--and then Jean is kneeling in front of Neil, as low as he can.

Jean thanks him and Neil tells him to get up and tell his message. Jean tells Neil that Ichirou didn’t want the immortality at all, and Neil tells Jean to tell Ichirou that “What he looks for can be found in the last resting place of a goddess on a western North American beach”.

Then Neil goes on to ask Jean to repay his debt because Neil “wants his father dead”. Jean doesn’t need to be the one to do it, it just needs to be done. Jean tells him no one would go for it because he was immortal and Neil is like, “Bitch he ain’t immortal anymore” and vomits his father’s immortality that he had been storing.

Jean says he’ll spread the news that Nathan is not immortal anymore and then Jean disappears dramatically because nobody knows how to exit through a door, apparently. Neil tells them what happened when he went out and then...

And then it comes.

The Big Moment.

What Neil is the god of.

Which explains why Neil made them go through the longer more difficult way because he doesn’t know how to do aynthing else lmaooooo

However, it doesn’t matter what they argue about, Andrew will always be right:

I want to see all of you praying for Neil when you’re doing something dumb, thank you.

Neil goes to the roof of the hotel to dramatically experience rain as a free man and Andrew appears after him, and Andrew tells him to change his expression since Neil being happy about being free is disgusting to him.

Neil decides to confront Andrew about why he went to search for him when their bond alerted him Neil was in danger. Andrew tries to weasel his way ouf of answering, and then Neil calls the game of a Truth for a Truth and Andrew snarls in disgust but goes with it, and says that he knew Neil was suicidal.

(Why didn’t I put a suicide tag for this entire fic??? That’s a bit telling about the mental state I had been while writing it lmaoooooo)

Andrew wants to know more about his options (he doesnt gain anything from being immortal, but he does gain a power boost from being Neil’s priest). Then Andrew tells Neil the amount of money he gave to them was too large to be accepted as tip and Neil tells him they can escort him back to the US and that might be enough for Neil, which Andrew accepts easily enough since Neil said they could do it via plane.

It takes four days for the rain of victory that Jean had made fall to stop and then they’re able to get a plan back to the US. Andrew was taking the extended protection detail seriously, but Neil can feel how restless Andrew’s dragon is and he’s like, “Yo, tell me what the fuck is wrong with your dragon” and thats how Neil learns about Andrew’s fear of heights, even though Andrew is a dragon who fucking flies.

Andrew, in turn, wants to know what Neil will do with his spare immortality. Neil wants to destroy the last bit of his father’s that is out in the world, but he doesn’t know if it will be useful in the future, so he will put it somewhere secure.

Neil thinks its a little weird to be back at Fox Security, facing Wymack as he read the reports that they all wrote about the mission. Wymack looked angry over some parts of it, which made Neil....... uncomfortable, but there was nothing he could do.

Then Andrew appeared in the door in the middle of the review and Wymack just tells him to close the fucking door lmao. Neil is like “I didn’t know Andrew would be here,” and Wymack is like, “Well, he said you paid for the services a little longer,” and Neil is like, “Andrew doesn’t undestand tips,” to which Andrew is like, “Shut up, you’re the one who doesn’t understand 10 million dollars isn’t a tip” and once more, there I go making it obvious I don’t know what real money looks like bc i’m poor, i guess! lmao

This is a very messy message but you know what? Me neither, Wymack.

Neil finally decides to admit that he might still need a little bit of protection since he knew his father was going to come after him, and Wymack asks if Neil is satisfied with keeping andrew was his detailed protector and Neil tries to play it cool but wtf Wymack???? Of course he is.

When they come out of Wymack’s office, Abby asks Neil if he’s okay and he replies with his comeback (TM)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6