#nepeta would absolutely adore dirk

[ecto-therapist]

i need to spread pale dirknep propaganda

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Alpha kids + trolls and whether or not they like Twilight

Hooooo boi this is gonna be a long one but alright challenge challenged

ALPHA KIDS:

Jake: Yes. A thousand times yes. This guy canonically has no taste in movies of course he's gonna watch Twilight and enjoy it. He thinks Renesme is brilliant. The direction astounding, the soundtrack, effervescent. He cannot be stopped, swayed, or distracted from his love of Twilight

Roxy: Yes, for separate, but similar, reasons than Jake. She knows it's trash. It's garbage and poorly written, and you know what? Sometimes the garbage is okay. Great even. She has taste in movies but she's also completely capable of enjoying a bad movie without tearing it apart. Because a bad movie is better than a boring movie.

Jane: No. Hard no. She thinks they're idiotic and nonsensical, the plot pandering and meandering with no point or direction, like a frisbee caught in a tornado but less entertaining. The first thing she does as soon as she can is buy up every copy and stop distribution online to halt it's continued existence in Earth C

Dirk: No, the last thing he's looking for is another trite hetero love triangle between the personification of beige, a Dirk Strider Clone a pretentious control freak and a Dirk Strider Clone an angsty furry.

TROLL TIME

Aradia: The girl loves all things dead and dying, she is goth incarnate. Of course she likes it. I wouldn't say she loves it though. She just thinks it's neat. Like the kind of movie you put on a lazy sunday afternoon or when you wanna read something on a bus ride. Quaint is a good word for how she sees it

Tavros: I'd say he likes it tbh. It's an engaging story for him, not for any plot reasons but more for the drawn out character conflicts. He thinks the people in it are intriguing and largely play off each other well.

Sollux: No, and you couldn't make him read it with a warship to his head. The writing is boring and just all edge with no point, like a pizza cutter, and if he wanted one of those he'd go to the kitchen section and he is a terrible cook. Metaphor is getting out of hand but the point is he thinks it's dumb and looses a bit of respect for anyone who does like it.

Karkat: Do I need to say it? Probably because this is what this whole thing is about. Yes he adores this series. He hates the plot but who cares about that when you get such strong emotions pulled out between bell-bottom jeans and ed wood, though he thinks it would have made more sense as a ashen-rom once jake's weird clone entered the picture where taco bell pits fullmetal vampire against sharkboy and she has to play ringmaster and mediator. But for what it is it's great in his book.

Nepeta: Absolutely not. Ehhhhh threw you for a curveball there didn't I? Anyways, no, Nepeta cannot bring herself to tolerate Twilight even in passing conversation. The plot is serviceable but the characters have no chemistry to be spoken of. They're only together because they're the main characters, there's nothing they have in common other than being as tasty as celery, and Nepeta want's a juicy romance with some m33t on it's bones.

Kanaya: Yes, so much yes that it is like one of the first things established about her character. She likes Twilight. No, she ADORES Twilight. The angst, the longing, the separation and then the reunion of the leads, it's tastier than any blood she drinks. This is the closest she had ever come to understanding being attracted to men, though she normally mentally rewrites them as ladies when she can't be bothered to manually regender the characters.

Terezi: No, she's not averse to it but she's got better, less self-indulgent things to do with her time. She can picture herself maybe reading it after a particularly rough breakup or if she's in an uncharacteristically angsty mood, but otherwise no. Besides, romance isn't normally a priority for her, it's more having a good time. Or at least that's what she tells herself

Vriska: Yes, definitely, absolutely. She is a sucker for trash a la Mindfang's journal and is also, in my opinion, a hopeless romantic with bad taste and even worse judgement. It's just the right amount of saucy and intriguing for her to follow, but she does bemoan the lack of Bella kicking ass. Otherwise though it's a regular read for her.

Equius: Yes, but with some caveats. He would never openly admit to enjoying Twilight, as per the norm is for him, but he looses himself picturing himself as Bella, being longed after and not hurting someone for once while still being focused on for whatever reason. It's cathartic for him.

Gamzee: I don't think he can read, but even if he could he wouldn't pay any attention to it in any state of mind. Stoned Gamzee would think it's just part of a really long commercial and sober Gamzee would dismiss it as boring.

Eridan: Yes, it appeals to his melodramatic nature. A five movie long conflict over who gets to kiss whomst that could have easily been solved in a week or so by actually sitting down and thinking about what you want in life? Sign him the fuck up!

Feferi: Nah, she's had enough of that bullshit and she's not about that life. She thinks Bella is a wishy-washy protagonist and the story is nothing special. She wishes people would get over it and read other stuff, there's plenty of fishes in the books and this one isn't really worth getting in a twist over in any sense of the word.

-Mod Terezi

[madjazzed]

For the ask game - Roxy?

roxy!!! i love roxy, shes a delight and she has fantastic chemistry with so many characters, this will be fun (edit: and also take me so long wow) NOTP: i can’t think of any roxy ships i actively dislike, but of the characters ive seen her paired with in fic, i guess im most uninterested in shipping her with amporas, zahhaks, and her imperious condescension.

OTP: i absolutely cannot pick a favorite, but the top contenders are hal, john, dave, and terezi. none of them are even close to being a real otp though, because roxy and romantic exclusivity do not fit together in my brain; i see her as someone for whose friendly feelings easily and frequently slide into romantic territory and who is totally okay with that. she has so much love to give and i want her to date all of her friends and have fun doing it

BROTP: dirk, jane, alpha gang brot4, fefetasprite, nepeta, terezi in a scenario where theyre both quadranted with john and partners in crime prank wars, and weirdly enough i just started thinking about roxy and eridan being bros and i genuinely have no idea where the idea came from but im intrigued

second choice ship: having established my complete inability to select a first choice ship, im sure it will surprise no one that ive also got a whole list of runners up. nepeta and jane are leading the pack, closely followed by sollux (pitch), meenah (pitch), calliope, and jade.

fluffy ship: dave, nepeta, calliope. each of these ships is a different flavor of super mega adorable and i love all of them.

angsty ship: dirk. pining for your bestie whos not into you sucks and theyre both fucked up about it and its so easy to imagine them trying to make it work and hurting each other even more

poly ship: act 6 gave us a bunch of lovely building blocks for johnroxrezi and i wish more people had built things with them!

weirdest ship: i bet a lot of people would be surprised that roxrezi is one of my top tier ships. theres very little foundation for it in canon; they both flirt with john, and i think roxy being so much like dave suggests comparable compatibility, and thats pretty much all there is to go on. but i love both daverezi and roserezi, so roxrezi is predictable on that basis, and also i read one (1) absolutely delightful daveroxrezi fic back in the day that would have sold me on roxrezi absent any other factors, and which i would link if it hadnt been tragically deleted like five years ago. (PLEASE if anyone out there has a copy of coolkids.jpg by negativecosine originally posted in 2014 i am begging you to share it with me, i was crushed when i realized a few years ago that it was gone and have been longing to reread it ever since)

[b1uecandlehomestuck]

Speaking of that tier list, I made a tier list, a personal ranking of the Homestuck characters. Nothing definitive or objective. Feel free to comment on it, or send me your own tier lists for me to judge.

I’m gonna put the rest below a “read more” just because, after writing it, I’m realizing it’s insanely long so I’m not gonna dump this monster of a text post without a nice little cut-off point. I encourage you to read more, but you don’t have to.

I’ll start from the bottom and go up.

For starters, I think the bottom tier is pretty much objective and inarguable.

F. This tier is reserved for characters I consider to be failures. Personally, I feel like HIC is just not a very satisfying “main antagonist” for the trolls; I don’t specifically mean that she didn’t fullfil her role well, like other characters in this tier; it’s a good base for alternians to have a tyrannical ruler who was responsible for throwing their society into the fucked up mess it is. However, as for HIC herself, she feels very lacking. She’s greedy and merciless. That’s it. She’s merciless because she’s greedy. That’s about the extent of her depth. The same goes for Meenah, they’re basically the same characters. She had some potential to grow with (Vriska), however, the fact that she simply decides to abandon (Vriska), while it does serve to show how HIC is inherently merciless, damns her to F-tier. I’ll admit that I may have a negative bias to the troll-sprites, but they always felt like an insult to the people who were upset at the deaths of the trolls. The ones that aren’t effectively silent no longer represent their own characters, and just feel like a suppliment to the character they’re fused to; Erisol is a little funny, but is otherwise inneffectual. Fefeta seems like an intentional insult to the people upset by both Nepeta and Feferi’s deaths to just have her permanently mute for no reason. Davepeta never really felt too much like Nepeta, just a continuation of Davesprite’s story. ARquius, again, just felt like AR with some of Equius’ quirks. Corrupt Jane and Corrupt Jade have no personalities and basically took away any character from the two characters who needed character development more than ANY of the humans. They have a few cool moments, but are ultimately fail to be proper characters. I forget Dancestor Eridan’s name. I’m not crazy about the Dancestors, I don’t think many people are, but he’s one of the most noteless. Eridan... I will admit, maybe I shouldn’t put him as low as he is. He’s not really a failure in terms of his literary goal; Eridan is a very good antagonist. He’s an angsty, alternian-equivalent neo-nazi ultra-angsty teen, and he sits in that role absolutely perfectly. On the other hand, as someone who loves Feferi as much as I do, it’s hard not to loathe him. I know, it’s a very biased reason to dislike him, and I mean no disrespect to those who do, but I would be remissed if I didn’t put him at the bottom. He really isn’t as bad as his placement would imply, I just have a personal vendetta. Jake. He’s just Jake. Literally the only reason he exists is to fulfill the need to have Jade’s guardian be one of the Alpha kids. Beyond that, he’s basically just a robot who says old-timey words and we’re told is very attractive. Dancestor Gamzee is down here for the same reason as Dancestor Eridan. Noteless, and related to a character I hate. Biased? Yes. But this isn’t an objective list.

E. This is for characters who annoy me personally, more or less. Except for Tavrosprite. Tavrosprite is here because he’s a troll-sprite; however, he’s consistently funny, and is mostly used very sparingly. Also, Tavros gets more of a major role later on, so maybe it leaves less of a sting. I also really like Tavrisprite. They’re probably the best sprite. They get a really cool theme and are a funny joke character. I didn’t give a shit about Dirk until the Epilogue. It says a lot when the Epilogue manages to make a character more interesting considering the Epilogue is the worst part of the comic. That being said, it takes him from “awkward angsty teen” to “evil omnipotent god-character”, so it’s not really much of an improvement. Most of the time, when Dirk comes up, it sends a signal to my head saying “oh god, here comes a long, drawn out, over-complicated spiel about ultimate selves and bullshit like that”. Sollux had his moments early on; he was a much better character early on, but quickly became a weird, kinda depressing character? I dunno. In hindsight, maybe he should be in E. I think I just dislike him because he’s with Aradia and Feferi and I think they deserve better but that’s a dumb way to think so whatever. Give him like an E+. Jadesprite. She cries a lot. There are some funny moments but ultimately, not crazy about her. She has none of the parts of Jade I liked and didn’t exactly serve to improve Jade in any way. Lord English... too complicated. Why’s he got so many origins? I dunno. Caliborn added much more to him, but I’m gonna separate “Caliborn” and “Lord English” into two characters. On his own, Lord English is just kinda nothing. A big spooky boogeyman. Vriska. That’s right, THE Vriska. My thoughts on Vriska are extremely complicated. There are hints at something more under the surface, but I feel like there was too long of a stint of her being a straight-up Mary Sue who kills everyone and is super cool and is never punished. I’ll talk about this more when we get to (Vriska). Moving on.

D. These are characters who have done nothing for me, or are otherwise just a step below “neutral”. Dirkbot is kinda the only entertaining thing to Dirk as a character. Dirk is basically the “host” to the real star of the show in terms of Dirk’s characterization, Dirkbot. Lemme get some bonus shout-outs to Sawtooth and Squarewave. I really like And It Don’t Stop, a comic Hussie made long ago, which is what they were based on. I feel like if Dirk kept that aesthetic more, I’d like him more as a character. Calliope... An interesting concept, I really like some concepts in relation to her, but as has been discussed, I feel like Hussie and the writers like to frame her as being perfect and they sort of refuse to dig deeper into what could make for a very interesting character. Dualscar looks cool but otherwise doesn’t do much for me. I REALLY like the Ancestors besides HIC, so instead of being plopped down to F like the Dancestors, the “nothing” Ancestors get put in D. Grandpa Harley is just kinda around, much like Jake. Horrus... is kinda interesting. Kinda cute. I like him. And he’s related to a troll I really like, so he gets a boost. Rufio is a joke character, but he’s a decent joke character, so he gets in D. Mindfang and the Summoner are here for the same reason as Dualscar. Mom Lalonde has EXTREMELY limited relevance, but her short time is decent. Now that I’m thinking about it, she doesn’t really deserve a D. Maybe a C-. I’m gonna be really honest, Porrim gets to be in D because she’s pretty. That’s about all the reasoning there is.

C. This is my “neutral” point. Everyone here is the middle ground. (Vriska) is the Vriska we see getting abandoned by Meenah in Act 6. She’s the Vriska who’s grown as a character, and experienced deep resentment for how awful she was, and then faced how horrible she was first-hand. I’m gonna be honest; I love (Vriska). Unfortunately, Hussie, being the horrid subhuman that he is, decides that after putting (Vriska) through the worst, and then getting abandoned by the only flushed interest she’s ever really had, we would never see her again. (Vriska) deserves to be in A, but Hussie cut her down to a C. Aranea is interesting; aside from having an involved and reasonable part of the plot, she’s a very enjoyable character. Lord knows I can relate to somebody with a very special interest who adores to just ramble and ramble and ramble paragraph after paragraph about them, just like what I’m doing at this very moment. Good dog. Best friend. Lil’ Cal is a joke character who becomes a surprisingly pivotal character in what seems like a stupid way at first, but eventually makes genuine sense. An interesting character to think about. If you can even really call him a character? Damara... well, I think she’s pretty. Also her dialogue is funny after you translate it. So she gets a +1 on Porrim. Davesprite is funny. Dave’s funny, so a second Dave is also funny. He’s no all-star, but he’s alright, yeah. The Desciple is cute and a good relation to Nepeta. The Grand Highblood is extremely intimidating. I think he’s a really cool design for an intimidating, horrible warlord. That’s all. John... is interesting. Funny and dopey, but as far as character development goes he really starts to slow down and become... kinda... weird. I’m not really sure how I feel about him, ultimately. So, C. I really liked Jane, but then they turned her into a mindless bad guy with a tiara, and then they turned her into a mindless bad guy because capitalism. I like Rosesprite. I think I like her considerably more than Davesprite, give her a C+. She’s definitely the best of the sprites; she represents Rose well, but also twists her personality in a new and interesting way by making her very peppy and really playing with that silly side of Rose that’s so rare. Kankri... I’ll admit it, I think he’s kinda cute. He’s fussy. Whiny, sure, but I dunno. Meulin is extremely cute, but her actual writing irks me. Not because it’s bad, it’s just... you know. Doc Scratch was a fun antagonist for the time we had him. Certainly a lot more fun than any of the other antagonists (sans one), even if a lot of his writing hinged on being all-knowing. Karkat and Sollux’s ancestors served good story roles so they get C. Obviously we don’t really know anything about their personalities, but they give you some stuff to think about.

Oh god this is way too long, I’m too tired to finish this shit. You can ask me about the rest of you’re curious, g’night.

[clonerightsagenda]

Gill and I may not live together anymore but we can still Do Damage

Kat: me, working on the alpha kid portion of my AU and also watching she-ra: Dirk.... Entrapta.... (does he still have prehensile hair? You Decide) Gill: Anime spikes are now real spikes I'm also happy to give him Doctor Octagonapus arms Hedgehog man Kat: someone: so it's the princess alliance right actually we had to change the name because we THOUGHT it was the princess alliance but uh Gill: Junior Royalty Alliance Princex Alliance? The Gay Agenda Kat: lmao addendum: Jake is sea hawk Gill: Who's Glimmer, telling him to set his boat on fire Also: Dirk stop experimenting on the planet Kat: Jane Jane is glimmer trying to be responsible and controlling people Gill: That is perfect and I love her Kat: Is Roxy bow? I'm not sure Gill: Also she'd be adorable as a blue sparkly glitter fairy Who's Adora and Catra Also autocorrect I understand correcting Adora to Adorable but Why did you change Catra to "Avatar" Kat: I mean Adora and Catra do have some pretty strong Vrisrezi vibes Also that way if Adora is Terezi you can have Janerezi if you want it Gill: I am resistant to Vriskerly Actions and yet I cannot deny that it works Also Glimmerdora is a rly cute ship... Kat: Catra is like Vriska done well Gill: And now Vriska has a friend who is a scorpion lady It's fitting Kat: god who's scorpia omg NEPETA cat scorpion switch Gill: And DIRK WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH VRISKA TO HACK THE PLANET, I DONT APPROVE OF HER SHES A BAD INFLUENCE Mr Strider go to your room Kat: I was going to say how long could dirk possibly tolerate Vriska Doc Scratch is prob shadoweaver Gill: Instead of getting a mask knocked off it's just His whole head Kat: ok I fixed it Dirk makes Hal and Hal gets left behind and Hal is much more bitter about shit and so more willing to join up plus Hal would take Vriska-Catra in stride just like lmao check this DSMIV entry out Gill: Have both, Dirk is acting like an Actual Captive while Hal is having a good time with the girls Kat: Hal: I know why you're in the Horde. You've got a complicated relationship with your pseudo parental figure and feel abandoned or treated as less than by your former friend. Vriska: And why are YOU here smart guy Hal: Absolutely none of those reasons. Gill: Hal: you know I can ask them to let you out Dirk: I will not stoop to the level of a traitor Hal: w/e Nepeta and I are gonna go watch anime Kat: Hal: Hey Dirk if you hadn't cut your hair you could use it to pick the locks on those shackles. Dirk, who chopped his hair off years ago bc #dysphoria: Eat shit Gill: Dirk: I replaced it with robot arms for a reason Hal: yeah thanks for the extra arms by the way Is Dirk's hair bubblegum pink naturally, does he dye it Kat: oh god Dirk has anime hair Gill: I feel like he'd either Constantly be trying to act like the main character he thinks he is, bc he knows what pink hair means Gill Or trying to AVOID his calling as a Main Character bc he will not be pigeonholed into your limiting archetypes He is a main character of his own narrative conventions Kat: Can Entrapta's hair feel pain?Would cutting or bleaching it hurt it the real questions Gill: He dyes it red and It comes out orange and it's a fair enough compromise because bleaching it doesn't feel Pleasant Most AUs: Nepeta, tiny fluffy cat girl She-Ra AU: Nepeta, enormous buff scorpion cat girl who is the tallest character in the cast Some day if and when I need background Nepetas for the Dreambubbles I'm adding Scorpeta to the Nepeta Squad Kat: I always imagine Terezi as shortish so Terezi suddenly becoming 8 feet tall is hilarious to me Gill: Giant... dragon woman... Oh no it's everything I ever really wanted Kat: so Jade's probably perfuma Rose is Frosta. She's still 12 years old and angry Gill: Can Jade's Kingdom be full of furries I politely but firmly request furries Kat: god i guess???? so is this trolls = horde humans = alliance where are john and dave Gill: Terezi: I have a sword. It's sharp. Dirk, probably: ...I want a sword Oh man we're out of male characters already Kat: i mean there's dudes in the horde Gill: Unless John is Bow... but Bow is the Power Of Heart dude... Yeah that was my other thought Kat: John and Dave WERE the patronees of Terezi and Vriska Gill: They're Background Horde Dudes, the one guy who immediately latches onto Bow when he's taken prisoner is Very Dave What was his name Steve Kat: get wrecked I thought it was Kyle? Gill: KYLE Kat: it's funnier if Bow is Roxy latches onto his mom Gill: It was very much an Inherently Funny Plain Dude Name If and when I draw this I'm giving Jake (Sea Jake... Jake Hawk...) a terrible pubescent mustache A pubestache, one might call it Kat: ew Gill: Jake Hawk sounds like a Generic Action Dude name, like what you'd call Solid Snake if you were writing a novelization of Metal Gear and knew nothing about Metal Gear Kat: i'm formatting this for an initial tumblr post Gill: Excellent We Have Done It Again, My Dudes Kat: our trail of devastation knows no bounds Gill: The Crossover Gremlin's reign of terror has yet to be stopped