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#never acting life a woman
pitch-locke · 4 months
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There's something so visceral about The Blue Eyed Samurai that really resonated with my identity as someone non-binary, aromantic and asexual.
It feels very genuine in its expression of the experience of a purpose outside romance and love, despite how much everyone insists those are the only options.
Allowing their assigned gender to dictate their life experience is just not an option.
A moment, brief and bitter, where Mizu forces themself to play the role they was born into and trying to find their peace in it, even succeeding in those momentary joys.
But as always, those moments are tainted by dissatisfaction, knowing that that life, that future was not made for them. Or rather they were not made for it.
No room for love or romance, no craving for power or money.
In the moments where carnal instincts could take precedence they will turn their head away as many times as it takes.
They will find their peace in nature, in the sound of crashing waves and soft breezes, make physical contact only when it truly matters. Mizu will never waver. They will never look back.
My body will not dictate the life I choose to lead. It will not sway me from my purpose. I see myself in that.
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mxtxfanatic · 15 days
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Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?
Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?
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sleepytimegal777 · 1 year
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Ser Criston Cole and Queen Alicent Hightower in House of the Dragon
We’ll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross / The Art of Courtly Love - Andreas Capellanus tr. by John Jay Parry / Perfect Day - Lou Reed / The Dedication - Edmund Blair Leighton / John I Love You - Sinéad O’Connor / Prose Lancelot - Unknown tr. by Carleton W. Carroll / Idylls of the King - Alfred Tennyson
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reddd-robin · 7 months
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I feel so crazy about that last episode I knew literally in my soul that the lich would appear eventually and be named the last scholar of golb. Throws up everywherr
#i canttt do this. i love betty and simon so much this new view on their dynamic makes me feel crazy#its undoubtedly like a strange power dynamic that simon is unaware of (heees kind of dumb but not a bad person by any means) that drives-#-betty to act how she does with him at first. like her perfect idolized interaction with a author she loves dearly#and for her to put aside her life like that for him in this manic sort of perfect scenario shes so enthralled by#gah i live them so much. simon being unaware of this and it damaging their relationship in the future unknowingly#she gives so much man. not to say simon doesn't i think hes just as great a lover as betty wanted but betty has this endlessness to her-#-devoting her time and her life and her dreams to this perfect world she gets to live in now#i do think she relaxes with it further into their relationship when she feels less like she has to be cool or prove herself to someone she-#-idolizes. and that they get better and closer and more equal (i say theyre never truly equal considering it revolves around simons whims)-#betty really learns to love for that period of their life. for however long it takes them to get to 'fianceès' its really their perfect life#and then everything happens. the crown. the portal. the war. the world ending. ice king. betty in ooo. and its all ruined again and she cant#acess simon so he is again returned to this state of a forbidden person she desperately chases and gives up her life for. she regresses to-#-when their dynamic was unknown woman and author she loves dearly appearing before her eyes#and that unnatainable aspect is what drives her insane. she cant do anything this time. he doesnt even know who *he* is. its hopeless#her trying to date ice king and freaking out about it because this perfect picture is gone and she doesnt /like/ him like this#agh. bety. siom#fionna and cake spoilers#fionna and cake#talking2myself
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dramarants · 6 months
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Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the show’s leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isn’t a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms that’s rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset
#the worst of evil#you know who’s not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibi’s acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it#but idk anything besides she’s willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else#and also she’s hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze#and I also get it - we don’t know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol#but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice#she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY#her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails#what’s the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play#at the cost of my life or my family’s life?#even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage she’s using whatever agency she has in her own terms#kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her#not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boys’ lives is wild#ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but don’t deride a woman just cuz ‘she’s in the way’ ya know#all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them#the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive 🫣🙏)#but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter
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sassmill · 3 months
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“If a lot of men get killed at one go, does it make the killing of one man less of a crime? I don’t know, Andy, I don’t know. I’m only twenty and they say today the world is ours, but Pa was twenty once and felt the world was his, and long, long ago Mad was twenty too, laughing at applauding audiences, smiling from picture postcards, and when I am as old as she is nothing will have changed…”
Daphne du Maurier, Rule Britannia (1972)
#think about the context of this woman writing this right#she was born in 1907#so by the time she was 20 she had lived through one world war with the next right on the horizon#as well as at this point witnessing the effects of so many other 20th century conflicts#she’s 65 at this point and this is what she sees ahead for future generations#which I’ve no doubt others saw coming as well but just like everyone for USUK in the book is acting#I’m sure plenty read this and thought but that could never happen not now not here not to us#but look where we are today#look at the genocide being enacted in Palestine#I want people to read this book in 2024 and think hard about it#because the events of the book are happening to white people in England right#I’m not at all trying to say she described anything on the level of the real world atrocities currently happening#but the slowly building anxiety of ‘but what could really happen they won’t do that’#then overnight all these new restrictions and retaliation#phones cut power cut water cut travel ban#just because it’s happening to people far away from your life#doesn’t mean it could never happen#you wouldn’t see it coming or think it was all that bad until suddenly it was too late#obviously I am reaching to apply this book to today but I think it could make certain people reexamine their mindset#daphne du maurier#rule britannia#quote#this book is making me think so much about imperialism and occupation and military states and civilian cruelty#through such an interesting lens considering what I know of Daphne du mauriers life up to the point she wrote this#this was her last novel#and it’s so different from her other novels#like this to me is her equivalent of a Connecticut Yankee in king Arthur’s court#except it’s just the ending where everything becomes terrible so fast
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ok so given everything went well the the Bride’s Reanimation what exactly did Dan decide to do? Because while he did agree to her creation with the agreement that she would be his replacement Meg, she’s not she has a different brain and based on what we saw a different personality what will Dan’s reaction be if she’s not what he originally wanted? Will he get discontent and look for happiness elsewhere like he did with Herbert? Will he resent her for not being Meg? Even if she was similar enough for him there’s no guarantee that she would love him back, which is extremely understandable since he is essentially her parent. What if the Bride just isn’t into Dan at all and just wants a dad? Will he leave? Will he blame her? Will he blame Herbert? Will he just lose it and try to inflict harm (he’s not emotionally stable especially not when it comes to romance) I’m kinda curious to know what will happen
#Overall the sci-fi move genre(?) of male doctors/scientists creating women in order to cure the guilt they feel for playing a role#In a lover’s death is its whole own thing and can say a lot about bodily autonomy and gender roles being projected onto the creation#Because at the end of the day these creatures are being created with the very specific goal of fulfilling a specific role#That the doctor thinks he needs in his life/overall being there to be a particular thing to the doctor#And never once does he actually stop the think about the ramifications of his actions and the effects it can have on him and his creation#Like what if it doesn’t make the creature happy? What if they can’t do it right and make him resentful? The never think#Actually this isn’t even just about creating women(or what is supposed to be a woman)#All doctors in media we see creating artificial life do it with the very express purpose that the creature will fulfill a perfect role#The perfect wife or or son or lover#Whatever this role is they all have specific thoughts on how the creature should act and want to enforce that onto them#Also let’s not even get into the problem of creating a creature specifically to be your lover because the consent there is dubious at best#Because do they have the minds of children at first? Even if not they owe you a great deal for creating them is that leveraged#Overall the whole “making a person without conception” is such an intriguing story device I could probably write an essay on this shit#Anyway rant over if you made it this far thanks for caring#reanimator#herbert west#bride of reanimator#dan cain
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ssaalexblake · 1 year
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honestly ppl being surprised that people outright and proudly proclaiming the a hiring of a female doctor is a disgrace Might Have An Agenda for widely spreading that her episodes are bad (from like. before they started even airing. let that be clear.) is like your parents watching fox news and them being shocked that the people running it stoking hatred towards certain groups might have An Agenda for doing so when you tell them about it.
This is like. Honestly funny up to a point. Gee Golly, the people open about their vicious hatred of women aren’t to be trusted as a quality guide or as a place of unbiased opinion on something to do with a woman??? I am Shocked. 
They poisoned the well. 
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hecksupremechips · 4 days
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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tryingoutsol · 6 days
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I would love to transition I think? into a man but the idea of learning new social rules and the violence from other men terrifies me so much that I think I'd rather just stay looking like a "weird" girlthing
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alongtidesoflight · 1 year
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i haven't talked trans stuff with irl people in a while so when i tell you today was exhausting
#sat in my class minding my own business when the entire class started shitting on trans women#how to argue with these ppl without breaching stealth#i don't pass well as a woman anymore so i'm assuming these people think i'm a very butch lesbian or whatever#no one's uncomfortable with me being in the women's toilets but as soon as a trans woman steps in there all hell breaks loose#hypothetical trans woman in this case btw because there aren't any trans girls in my class but my language recently started using a#more gender-neutral approach to speaking and added an nb gender marker to job descriptions and passports#so of course every language teacher under the sun has to complain about it#and that turned into an unhinged 30 minutes of my teacher pretending to be a trans woman but actually acting like a very flamboyant#drag queen getting ready to bother some ladies in the women's bathroom#and i have never been more uncomfortable in my life#lucky for ME i don't have to attend that class often so i think i'll only head in there for any exams that might come up#transphobia tw#adding this one for the girlies following me#rant time sorry#this is the second time a teacher tried to get some kinda anti-trans approval out of me and i don't know what they're trying to achieve#here but they're barking up the wrong tree here#the m/f/nb gender marker does exactly what it says btw whatever marker's in your passport dictates where you can go and nb bathrooms are#kinda welcoming to anyone men and women included#and all of this is a discussion on its own#but the starting point of this argument for these people was that trans women and trans men can only use nb bathrooms because#they're not 'real' men or women and where to even start here you know#in the end while i was arguing my teacher told me that i don't know what i'm talking about but 'every other man' in this class#knows exactly what he means#cut me off and that was that#it's not about winning or losing here but i think he realised that i was using arguments that he just didn't feel like talking about rn#so i just ended getting cut off and talked over and i wasn't feeling like#raising my voice but it's just uncomfortable to know what this class would have been thinking of me if i hadn't#decided to go by my agab in this evening course#by the way the very first day i attended this course i showed another guy to the women's bathroom because the men's bathroom was closed for#repairs
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inferablossom · 9 months
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Me, staring at Kazui's MV: Yes, it's as clear as mud, sir.
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terrainofheartfelt · 2 months
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nothing fills me with great rage than guys who blast their shitty music on speakers on the train
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sensitivegoblin · 11 months
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For those that get their period; does orgasming help?
Maybe it's cus of my pcos but I feel like the periods I m*sterbate through are easier than the ones where I don't (pls feel free to add your two cents!)
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#tw: period talk#I've got a meaty thick undercarriage#and I think I'm general my bodies muscles are tight n hard like rocks#so I feel like the act of cmming opens me up and pushes shit out#I get sick sometimes cus it all gets trapped inside of me#and I'm like an extremely heavy bleeder#it's kinda the same feeling as throwing up or di*rrhea#it's gross and unpleasant but also it feels good cus you can feel the bad things leaving you????#i probably sound weird I'm SORRY I don't have a therapist 😭#yknow the scooper from the FNAF series? I feel like I scoop my insides every time I c-m#aggsdfffff tmi but sorry😭#feel free to leave your experiences/advice/opinions etc if you get a period#it's gross but we need to talk to each other kinda like finding out y'all get paid differently before y'all decide on a union#I'm sorry I high and lonely aggssffffff#anyway let's discuss periods cus I never had that safe place in my life#scenario: my partner gives me forced O s to make my cramps feel better and they shush my sobs with my favorite chocolate#i don't feel like a woman🙃#like...I feel so seperate from the concept todsy#God wouldn't give me these feelings pre weed if they didn't mean something#some days gebder is really hard and I want people to see -real name- not my gender :/#like I'm one of those people who'd use my name as pronouns#I'm just a lil fella#the plots of muppets in space has been my entire life#I feel like it'd be eaiser if I was fully trans cus like#that sounds more legit than 'sometimes I feel different genders'#it sounds like I smoked at least I can see my dad thinking that#I wouldn't even make my dad or family use different pronouns or even involve them in that part of my identity#but I feel like by them not knowing it's a big lie and I really hate lying :(#that's what made me come out as gay even tho I was single#I just...I don't like hiding or lying I wanna share the real me
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