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#new dog toy
shotmrmiller · 14 days
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kyle asking price and johnny what's up with simon having his earbuds in and phone in hand the moment they touch foot on base because before last week, he hadn't even known simon had a phone.
how did you think he got in contact with people?
i just figured he didn't.
anyway, price just shrugs and says, "gotta new girl or somethin'." johnny nods absently, lips twisted in thought.
"somethin' like tha'."
sure enough, come dinner time he can hear a higher pitched voice carrying a sense of urgency or excitement, he can't make out which it is, words coming out in a rapid fire manner.
accent is distinct too, colloquialism that hints at a different region or even country, peppered with slang he's only ever read online.
curious but it's nice to know someone's come to get to know the big man past his rough (and he means bloody rough) exterior.
he quickly tunes it out after, of course, not wanting to intrude on personal matters. but then it's a rare moment when simon's without them.
kyle manages to get snippets then.
(hey, love, just making some dinner; your favorite, actually. shrimp pasta alfredo.)
price taps him on the shoulder and he turns away, snapping back to reality. in the back of his mind, he vaguely remembers simon having an aversion to seafood.
he must be remembering wrong.
in the debrief room while they wait for price, he catches another.
(actually just finished unpacking the last of my stuff. you were a real help with this, i would've hated having to pay for movers.)
kyle recalls seeing simon haunting the hallway as per usual. he must've taken a time off.
on the way to the local strip club. why simon's there at all is a choice but his relationship with you is none of his business.
(yeah, uhm, i'm home and i checked the windows and bathroom like you taught me too. i still can't shake that feeling, yknow? i don't mean to worry you.)
since simon isn't talking to them about it, he must be getting rid of that issue soon. good on him. at least one of them gets to go back to a warm home and a soft pair of thighs.
(kyle doesn't question the other male voice in the call. nor does he question why simon isn't saying a word during it. simon's relationship with you is none of his business. he just hopes he'll get an invitation to the wedding.)
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likeprongstostars · 5 months
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forced to draw canon universe born to put them im silly AUs
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shilohsylvanian · 1 year
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New Japan Exclusive Blind bag <3 Baby Fruit Party
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sidetongue · 11 months
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Barbara is still here, unfortunately
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adobe-outdesign · 5 months
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Kung Fu Panda 4 Rewrite Thing
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Been chewing on this movie for a while now and wanted to take a shot at improving it. Some parts are a bit rough but I think this gets the general idea across.
As a rule, I'm trying to keep most of the characters and elements/plot beats in place rather than spinning things off in a completely unrelated direction. I also am aware of the restrictions placed on this movie, such as an unwillingness to rehire high-profile VAs and runtime limitations. This is just meant to be a "what if" kind of thing. That said:
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We open with a stylized sequence of Po telling the story of his and the Five's latest battle. As it ends it's revealed he's at the grand opening of Mr. Ping's brand new bigger, better noodle shop location, talking to the customers.
As one of them asks where the Five are now, Po explains that they got summoned to their own individual missions, but they'll be back soon.
(Yes I am still having them be MIA, as Po needs to be alone with Zhen for part of the movie. However, they'll only gone for the first part of this rewrite and for a very specific plot-related reason.)
(The thing with Po needing to give up his title of Dragon Warrior makes no sense for multiple reasons, so let's just drop that plot point entirely. I get that it's meant to tie into the "change" moral, but I'd rather have Po imparting this lesson onto Zhen instead of learning it himself, as otherwise it undermines the character growth he had in 3.
Also, Po isn't carrying the staff around with him constantly in this rewrite, as it looks a bit silly and isn't plot relevant here.)
A messenger shows up to report that the Jade Palace is under attack. Po decides to rush over just in case Shifu needs backup... which he does, because he's being kidnapped in a small one of those magic-proofed cages from the actual film.
(Shifu being kidnapped was tossed around in the writing room originally and I want to keep it in this rewrite because it A) gives Shifu something to do, and B) I want to allow Zhen to openly be working with the Chameleon in order to help flesh out her character and avoid the lackluster plot twist, meaning she'll need new leverage against Po later on.)
The figure behind the kidnapping appears to be Master Elephant, which confuses Po as he's been missing for several months. Right as he's about to land a finishing blow, the figure shape shifts into Master Chicken, throwing Po's attack and resulting in him getting a bad head injury. He does his best to pursue the attackers, but can't keep up. Dismayed, he returns to the Jade Palace...
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...And finds Zhen trying to steal something, using the commotion outside as a distraction. Po fights, but he's still badly injured and can't give it his all, resulting in Zhen being able to slip away with her prize—a dust bunny from under the furniture. Po is baffled.
(Side note: I would probably redesign Zhen so she actually looks like she matches the other characters' style, but I digress.)
Feeling dismayed, he returns to the noodle shop, where both his dads work on treating his wounds and comforting him. As Po explains what happened, Mr. Ping mentions that customers have been circulating rumors about a shapeshifting sorceress in Juniper City. Po decides that that's where he needs to go, promises his dads he'll be safe, and leaves.
(I'm cutting Mr. Ping and Li's subplot, because as much as I love them they don't really add much to the plot. It also feels like it goes against Mr. Ping's characterization in KFP 1 and 2 in particular.)
This is where we can have the scene of the Chameleon vs. the crime bosses. This can mostly stay the same except one of the bosses attempts to attack her when she shape shifts, causing her to retaliate with a magic-based attack. She also needs to straight-up kill the guy to establish her and her sorcery as a legit threat.
Po arrives at the Happy Bunny tavern to look for a ride to Juniper City. As he talks to Fish and Chip, he notices Zhen nearby doing some black market trading with Granny Boar to obtain a white feather. Po confronts her and she tries to run out with the feather, causing the boar family to pursue in a big fight scene.
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Po and Zhen manage to escape, Zhen stashing the feather. Po threatens to have her sent to jail, but Zhen confirms she's working for the Chameleon and can lead Po to her so he can rescue Shifu. Po dislikes this situation, but has no choice but to agree.
(Unlike in the actual film, I would make it so her lair is hidden in some fashion; magic that keeps it camouflaged would be appropriate for a chameleon, or it could be underground or hidden behind something. Regardless, it should be impossible to locate without Zhen's assistance.)
On the boat ride over to Juniper city, Zhen says that she has to "obtain" one more item from the local history museum or she'll be in big trouble with the Chameleon. Po doesn't like this detour, but once again has no choice in the matter.
Po asks why Zhen would want to work for someone so obviously evil, and this is the point where Zhen admits she was adopted by the Chameleon and we get her backstory.
(I would establish that the Chameleon has an actual name, but only Zhen uses it. It shows that Zhen is closer to her than most, not quite seeing her as a mother but not fearing her enough to use her preferred title. Also, the Chameleon's the only KFP villain without a proper name and that bothers me.)
The backstory can be the same, but the part about her living on the streets and meeting the Chameleon for the first time should be merged into a single flashback.
Zhen says that Po couldn't understand, but Po reveals that he's also adopted, and that he probably would commit some noodle-related crime if his dad asked him to. Still, Zhen insists that people don't change, and that includes her.
They arrive at Juniper city (Po is impressed at its size but he very much is not acting like he's never seen a city before). Zhen covers up her muzzle and tucks her tail under her clothes so she won't be recognized.
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Zhen is ready to break into the museum, but Po says that he's got this and goes up to the guards to tell them that he has some official Dragon Warrior business to take care of and will need to borrow some ancient artifacts.
Unlike in the actual film, everyone ready acknowledges him as the Dragon Warrior. The guards are more than happy to loan him whatever he needs... until Zhen's tail pops out and the guards recognize her, prompting them to attack.
During the scuffle, Zhen uses a chi blast to knock back one of the guards, but almost gets taken out by the other guard coming up behind her. Po defends her but gets mildly injured as a result.
After the fight, Po asks about the chi move and Zhen states that the Chameleon taught her the basics.
Zhen confirms that the Chameleon is a master of chi, and that the sorcery she uses is a specific type of chi manipulation.
(The reason I'm connecting chi to her powers is that it makes them feel a bit less out of left field, and helps 4 feel like a logical progression from 3.)
Zhen admits that she's not very good at using chi, but Po points out that it took him years to use chi in battle. He also compliments her on her kung fu, and she confirms she's self-taught.
(In this rewrite, Zhen is good at fighting but not quite at the level she is in the actual movie. This is to address the issue of who taught her if the Chameleon doesn't know kung fu.)
He takes a moment to give her a few pointers, which causes her to ask why he took that blow for her earlier, figuring there's a catch. Po just says it's the right thing to do, but Zhen is skeptical, figuring he only did it because he still needs her to lead him to Shifu.
The reminder of Shifu prompts Po to move on, and they grab the item Zhen was after, a 500 year old set of blades, then run for it.
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Po and Zhen arrive at the Chameleon's lair, and Zhen shows Po how to get inside and tells him where Shifu is being held. She says that she'll take the items to the Chameleon, which will distract her while Po breaks him out. Po thanks her, and the two separate. Zhen warns him of booby traps on the way out.
There are indeed booby traps, such as those saw contraptions from the actual movie and a bunch of guards. It takes Po a few minutes, but he eventually gets through them.
Po finds Shifu being held in a dark room. Shifu is glad to see him, but warns him to be careful as the Chameleon's likely not far away. Po explains Zhen's distraction and moves to free him... only for a cage to fall down and trap him as well.
"Shifu" is then revealed to be the Chameleon in disguise, who slips through the bars via shape shifting into a mantis and thanks Zhen for her help. Zhen apologizes to Po, who's naturally upset ("I mean, I know you were evil, but I didn't think you were THAT evil").
Zhen hands over the three items she collected, and it's confirmed what they are: a dust bunny that contains a clump of Tai Lung's fur, a feather from Lord Shen, and a pair of blades once wielded by Kai.
Po mistakenly interprets this as the Chameleon being a collector of kung fu memorabilia and tries to chat about the Jade Palace's collection, much to her bafflement.
The Chameleon explains that a trace of a person's chi remains long after their death, and demonstrates by doing The Tongue Thing on Kai's blade, stripping its chi, and immediately taking his form.
(As you may have picked up on, this rewrite removes the spirit world elements entirely. While they are really interesting, I think cutting them is the best option because:
1. There is so much plot involved with bringing Po's old enemies back that you could make that an entire movie in and of itself. It's hard to do it justice when you're cramming it in around the edges of this movie.
2. It makes the Chameleon too similar to Kai in terms of abilities.
3. Having her rely on stealing other's kung fu makes her come across as weak despite being a powerful sorceress.)
Po asks her if her goal is to take over China, but she says no; she just wants to end the practice of kung fu for good, and prove that sorcery is the superior option. To prove it, she has Shifu brought in.
While having your chi stripped does not remove one's kung fu abilities in this rewrite, it is still removing part of one's life energy and thus weakening them severely for a period of time—ergo, Shifu is still unable to fight at his best. Still, he manages to hold his own.
Instead of using kung fu, the Chameleon relies on the brute animalistic strength and inherent abilities of the forms she takes, switching whenever she's loosing to keep her opponents on her toes and even transforming into Shifu himself for a period. She also uses a few chi-based attacks.
Just when it looks like Shifu is about to win the fight, she uses her tongue to strip the chi from the fur clump, taking the form of Tai Lung. Shifu is so shocked and distraught that he fails to attack, allowing the Chameleon to land a serious blow.
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She returns to her original form and states that when the blood moon has risen, she will battle and take down every master in the middle of Juniper city, where everyone can learn just how useless kung fu and the people who teach it are. She leaves Po in his cage panicking over Shifu, who's unresponsive.
Zhen follows the Chameleon outside, where we get the "does the blood moon always rise so slowly" gag. Noticing that Zhen looks troubled, she asks what's wrong, and Zhen talks about how Po encouraged her to do the right thing. Even though she's been told that kung fu masters are elitist, selfish people, she couldn't see any of that in Po.
(Side note: I want to establish in this rewrite that while the Chameleon will claim up and down that Zhen is only a pawn for her to use, she does care about her to some extent, even though probably loathes the fact she does. For example, when talking to Zhen here, she might pick some rubble out of her fur or something to show there's a teeny tiny bit of actual affection hidden there.
The reason for this is that all other KFP villains have had an emotional anchor—Shifu for Tai Lung, Shen's parents for Shen, and Oogway for Kai. The Chameleon being abusive but having some real love for Zhen and Zhen struggling with her gaslighting adds a lot more depth to both of them.)
The Chameleon finally reveals her backstory, which should be told in a hyper-stylized way à la the flashbacks in KFP 2 and 3. Just like Zhen, she grew up on the streets as an orphan, broke and starving. She admired kung fu greatly and wanted to learn it, but everyone turned her away for having no money to pay for lessons.
One day, she found a shiny jade amulet on the streets that someone lost, finally giving her a much-needed break. She is able to use that money to enroll in classes.
The problem was that while the money changed her financial status, it didn't change the way people saw her. Her master still considered her a lowly gutter rat and treated her as such, verbally insulting her and beating her down during training sessions. It's very much like how Shifu treated Po in KFP 1, except worse, especially because the Chameleon is a small and fragile animal.
Finally, during one training session she became too injured to move. Her master told her to quit and started to walk away, only for her to grab his leg with her tongue to trip him up. However, at the peak of her self-loathing, she instead discovered her chi stealing abilities and transformed into him. It's not shown, but it is implied she killed him.
As the flashback ends, the Chameleon shifts into Zhen and tells her that no matter how much you change, you can't change the way other people see you. Siding with Po, she says, will only get her hurt. Zhen nods and unexpectedly hugs the Chameleon, telling her she knows, and runs off.
Cutting back to Po, we see him frantically trying to break the bars of his cage. Zhen comes forward and drops down on her hands and knees, apologizing for everything. Po says that she came back, and that's what matters.
She reveals that the "hug" was actually just a way for her to get the key off of the Chameleon, and she uses it to unlock Po's cage. Po runs over to Shifu and he and Zhen heal him with chi, and we get a callback to the "I'M NOT DYING YOU IDIOT" scene from KFP 1.
However, while Shifu's not dying, he is very badly injured and can barely walk on his own. Po asks how they can take on the Chameleon and her army with just three of them, but Zhen holds up the key and suggests they get an army of their own.
Running downstairs, Zhen reveals where the other masters are being held. To Po's shock, the Furious Five are among those captured. Tigress confirms that the summons they received were traps laid by the Chameleon, and she already has their forms.
Also down there are the other crime bosses, as it feels like they just disappear in the actual film after their scenes.
Zhen only manages to unlock the Five's cages before before the Chameleon snatches the key back with her tongue, revealing that she knew Zhen was lying to her. Behind her, her army assembles.
Tigress confirms that that the Five will take on the army, and Po faces off with the Chameleon one-on-one. She strips the feather and uses Shen's form to fly up and take the upper ground, trying to kick a cage onto him. Zhen helps deflect it, and the Chameleon tells her to stay out of the way. Po and her continue to battle.
Despite Po's best attempts at blocking it, she does finally stick him with her tongue. He grabs it and throws her a distance in her fragile base form, injuring her but still giving her some of his chi in the process.
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The Chameleon takes on Po's form next, and we get a fight similar to the one in the movie, though once again with her using less kung fu and more magic and physical attacks.
She mentions how she was rejected and tries to tell him that he should be on her side, because a bit fat panda like him must have been treated just as badly as she was. Po denies this, but Shifu admits it's pretty accurate. Po says he's not helping.
Po admits that she has a point, except she forgot one thing, and we get a callback to the "I'm THE big fat panda" moment from KFP 1.
The two attack at the same time. As the dust clears, it's revealed that neither are doing great—Po has gotten a lot of little injuries and the chi stealing has weakened him. The Chameleon is struggling to shapeshift at all, with the attempt causing her pain, and instead settles for trying to blast him. Zhen steps in and manages to redirect the attack back at her.
The Chameleon takes the blow and ends up back on the floor as a parallel to her flashback. Zhen reaffirms that she disagrees with her worldview—people can change, and she's going to prove it. If the Chameleon wants get to Po, she'll need to get through her first.
The Chameleon kind of laughs this off at first before realizing she's dead serious. She states that Zhen isn't even good at fighting, but Po disagrees, giving Zhen a confidence boost. The Chameleon struggles to her feet as if readying an attack, everyone braces themselves... and she surrenders, too injured to fight and unable to bring herself to hurt Zhen.
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(There are a few reasons why I think her surrendering makes for an interesting defeat here:
1. There's no spirit realm portal to yeet her into in this version;
2. There's only so many times Po's enemies can be yeeted directly into the spirit realm before it gets old;
3. It adds character depth, and;
4. It ties back nicely in to the theme of change and that it's never too late to do the right thing.)
Zhen helps the Chameleon up, Tigress does the same for Po, and Monkey does the same for Shifu. The five reveal that despite being exhausted, they still managed to wipe the floor with the Chameleon's army, which Zhen thinks is incredible. Po introduces Zhen to them formally, and Shifu asks if they can save the introductions for after they get medical treatment.
Later on, Po (carrying the staff Oogway gave him) approaches Zhen, who's sitting under the peach tree by the Jade Palace. He asks her if she's doing okay after everything that's happened. She says she's alright, but is pretty scared of what's going to happen next, given that the Chameleon's in jail and she has nowhere to go.
Po reveals that him and Shifu have been talking, and he plans to open a new school as part of the Jade Palace that will offer free kung fu lessons to anyone who's interested in learning. Zhen asks if there are any spots open, and we end similar to the actual movie, with her training alongside the five.
the credits still end with the Jack Black cover of Baby One More Time because it slaps
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auspicioustidings · 2 months
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pet play perhaps •3•?
Non-con ahead! (also all asks on this are now tagged 'Mhairi's good boy bad girl' so you can find them if interested :)
When your boyfriend had went missing a few months back you had not let it go. The police weren't listening to you, thinking that he had just left you, but he wasn't the kind of guy to do that. He was estranged from his family so they had been fuck all help, but you were like a dog with a bone and spoke to anyone that would listen. You put up missing person posters all over the neighbourhood. You were at the precinct at least three times a week badgering them.
You should have known to trust your instincts that something was wrong. You should have taken some extra precautions. But you didn't and it was laughably easy for someone to knock you out with a whack from behind and have you tied up in a moving vehicle by the time you woke up. You tried to speak but found a gag in your mouth. Not cloth, hard rubber.
"Your bitch is wake."
"Aww c'mon LT, dinnae be so grumpy with her. Ye naw think she's sort of cute?"
Your eyes slowly adjusted to the car and you tried to raise you head but a hand pushed it back down onto a lap.
"Settle girl, almost home" said the man whose lap you were in.
You blinked up at him, older man, muttonchops, smiling at you indulgently.
"Might seem cute now, but she'll be a nightmare once she goes into heat. Still think we'd be better getting her fixed."
That was the man who had called you a bitch. He was driving but you saw the edge of a hard plastic mask on his face. The man in the passenger seat had a mohawk and an easy smile as he grinned back at you.
"Come off it Ghost, the puppies would be cute."
That was from the man whose lap your legs were on and he was rubbing circles into your calves. He seemed completely at ease with the current situation and was entirely too handsome to have to resort to kidnapping girls.
"Aye LT, got ourselves a breeding pair now!"
You tried to shout, move, anything. The gag was uncomfortable and too big and you started to cough, your body then panicking when it didn't feel it was getting enough oxygen.
"There girl, let me get that off you. No biting or we'll have to try the muzzle" said muttonchops as you gasped in breathes when the gag was removed. "Your boyfriend has a bigger mouth than you, surprised you didn't recognise the taste of him on it. Got him to coat it earlier, thought you'd get comfort out of something familiar."
You looked from the man to the ball gag he now held in horror. The rubber ball was big, dripping with your saliva and possibly your boyfriends and covered in bite marks. You tried to get up again and the man grabbed your hair and tugged hard, holding your face back down.
"Unruly little bitch isn't she? Listen here girl, you'll behave and you'll learn to be good. Our boy has the best of everything because he's earned it, and he's nice enough that he'll share his toys so you'll not turn your nose up at them" the man driving barked at you.
You were so scared and so surrounded that you could do very little but lay in silence and cry. The Scottish one cooed at you even when the driver scolded him for spoiling you. The place they took you was the middle of nowhere with the only person in the big house being your boyfriend. Only he was broken. Didn't answer to his name, barely spoke 'person' anymore.
He was so excited to see the four men and they clearly adored their pet. The driver, Ghost you had learned, held onto his collar when he tried to lunge for you and told him to behave. After a moment he sat nice, knees on the floor fully spread to give a clear view of his cock hardening and straining against a cage and the peak of a tail coming from his ass.
"Fine" Ghost sighed, "no mounting boy, you'll let me give her a proper bath first before you get your prick in her."
He let him go and the man you loved bounded towards you to sniff and lick at you with excited yips while you cried and cried and tried to get him to talk to you. Soap laughed.
"Still dinnae want her then Ghost?" he teased.
Ghost flipped the man off and whistled, your boyfriend returning to his feet immediately and looking up at him in complete and utter adoration.
"Fine, we can keep her. My boy deserves the best though, so her training begins after her bath. And no fucking puppies."
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seabeck · 6 months
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She got two new toys today, still pulled my mouth guard off my nightstand and added it to her hoard
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tea-time-terrier · 3 months
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It's a good day to be a disgusting little creature <3
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prettyboy-remi · 3 months
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canisalbus · 10 months
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I had a dream with Vasco and Machete last night, I don't remember all details, but I do remember people talking about Machete being some sort of fallen angel or something. I even saw flashes of his angelic form in between, I'll have to draw those when I get back home. It was both scary and delightful.
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aerohail · 26 days
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shilohsylvanian · 1 year
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New release alert! Older Brother Bruce, Husky Dog.
A Sylvanian Families movie will be coming out within the next few months in Japan and this figure will be released in celebration! Likely meaning a limited run. No further info yet on an exact release for Bruce or if it will be Japan only.
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astralarias · 1 year
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[Holding up my friends OCs] I would kill for these guys. I would blow up the world. I would explode god. I would tear down kingdoms for these silly lil dudes.
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tontoemojis · 3 months
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back here once again to chew on ur emotes /silly
ur new art style is SO vibrant and pretty !!! slightly reminds me of marzipan ,,, and i love the patches on some of the emote guys u drew ! especially the star one
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STOP THIS IS SO SILLY WE WILL KILL YOU . THANK YOUUUU SOOO MUCHHH ALL MOOT !!!!!!!! 🌈🌈🌈 YIPPIEEE
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blippin · 3 months
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Neopets, and especially this little guy, have become my latest obsession
Say hello to Blooble_Dearest the toy Bori!
Oh yeah and feel free to friend me on Neopets @ Pancakeflipper3000 <3
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seabeck · 6 months
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My dog isn’t spoiled
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