#next they'll claim DID is a fantasy

[phoward89]

Banner by me, dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics

Based on this ask

Warnings: Dark!Stepbrother!Coriolanus Snow, Bigot General Crassus Snow, Implied child abuse, cussing, obsessive behavior, smut. AU of sorts.

When your mother started dating some war hero general, you didn't think much of it. Your mother's dated men, mostly officers, over the years and nothing ever came of it. So when your mother announced that Crassus proposed and she said yes, you nearly had a stroke.

Your older brother, Rein, had signed up for the peacekeepers the very next day. You think it was to get the hell out of the house, since Crassus Snow had a reputation of being a very cold, stern, and cruel man.

Not that you knew much about him. But you kind of knew his son. Well, you didn't know Coriolanus, but you went to the Academy with him.

Little did you know, Coriolanus has been secretly watching you ever since his balls dropped and his voice changed. He always thought that you were a beautiful little dove. His darling rose. He had a crush *cough* obsession *cough* with you, but would only watch you from afar.

His group of friends (rich asshole kids he had to play nice with) weren't the type of people that would accept you. You weren't from one of the great Capitol families.

But, despite not being able to be seen with you, he was determined that one day he'd have you pinned down on his bed.

How he planned on doing that if he never talks to you, well, who knows…

So, when Crassus Snow told his son that he was getting married to your mother, well, Coriolanus was over the moon. He was finally going to be able to fulfill his fantasies; pin you down on his mattress and fuck you into it until you begged for mercy.

The day after he found out you were going to be his new stepsister, he approached you at the Academy. You were talking with one of your friends, waiting for classes to start, in the main hallway. He felt that now was the perfect time to introduce you to the right friend circle to have; to claim you as his own too.

“Why isn't it Y/N Halvir, my new stepsister.”

“Your mother's marrying his father? Oh, I feel so bad for you…” Your friend whispered so only you'd be able to hear her.

Giving Coriolanus a fake smile, you simply greeted him with, “Hi, Coriolanus. Shouldn't you be with your own friends?”

“I’m actually here to take you with me so that you can meet them, now that you're a Snow.” Coriolanus replied, his icy eyes taking in every inch of you.

“Our parents aren't married yet, I'm nothing to you, but your classmate at the moment.” You reminded him, since he's never shown interest in you before; doesn't need to either since your parents’ are still planning the wedding.

Well Crassus’ mother, your soon to be new Grandma’am, was planning it while her son was footing the bill. You hope she doesn't pick out some frilly, gaudy, girly puffball of a dress for you to wear.

Coriolanus gave you a smile that was all pearly whites and sickeningly sweet. “Dear sweet stepsister, in time they'll be married, and I just want to introduce you to my friends.”

Your friend noticed the glint in Coriolanus' icy eyes and was afraid for you. She didn't know much about him, but he always intimidated her. Gave her the creeps for some reason she couldn't pinpoint. Your friend looked between you and your soon to be stepbrother, hoping that he'd just leave you alone.

Sadly, that didn't happen.

Coriolanus' large hand grabbed your arm, his long fingers wrapping tightly around it like tentacles. He leaned in close, so close that his breath was fanning your face, and gritted through his perfect teeth, “You're going to be a Snow, Y/N, so you need to start acting like it. The first step is to let me give you friends that are worthy of the Snow name.”

Your heart raced and you felt fear bloom in your chest. You nodded at him, giving into his will.

Coriolanus smirked when you turned to your friend and told her you were going with Coriolanus.

You were his now. His, and he’s never letting go.

Integrating yourself into the Snow family was easier said than done. First, you were stuck moving into their 12th floor Corso penthouse right away. Right away being mere days after the engagement was announced.

Your mother was so happy to be living in the grand penthouse, but you missed your old apartment.

At least your old, albeit smaller, apartment was warm and felt lived in. The Snow penthouse was cold and felt dead despite its large size and grand decor.

“Coriolanus, show your new sister to her room.” Crassus sternly ordered his son while standing in front of the fireplace in the main room, sipping tea.

Your mother and Grandma’am, Coriolanus’ grandmother, were sitting in chairs around a glass star shaped coffee table, sipping on tea and hot chocolate. Grandma'am was the one with the hot chocolate.

Grandma’am and your mother seemed to get along well, while Crassus didn't seem to care.

Hell, the general had a scowl on his face and looked a bit miserable.

You wondered if Coriolanus would grow up to be like his father since he already looked like him.

“Yes, father.” Coriolanus nodded. Grabbing your hand and leading you away from the adults, he said, “You'll be in Tigris' old room, little dove.”

“Who's Tigris?” You innocently asked.

“My cousin; she moved out into her own apartment not long ago.” He explained, dragging you down the hall.

You knew what Coriolanus truly meant. His cousin left after his father announced the engagement with your mother.

“My older brother just joined the peacekeepers, so it looks like we both had some family move out.”

Coriolanus stopped at a door, only to push it open and drag you inside of the room. “Mark my word, sweet stepsister, father will be pushing for your brother to take an officer's aptitude test as soon as he's eligible.”

“I don't see why, Rein's not his son.” You told the blonde as he let go of your hand and flipped on the light switch.

The room was spacious. The only furniture in it was a bed, a nightstand, and a desk with a chair. The bed linens were simple too.

The room felt more like a guestroom then a room that had once belonged to somebody in the Snow family.

Maybe it was the lack of personal decorations that made the room feel so lifeless?

But wasn't that to be expected considering Tigris has vacated the room; took any decorations and personal touches with her.

Coriolanus guided you over to the bed. “Not by blood, but as soon as our parents marry, your brother will be another son of Crassus Snow.” You both sat down on the soft mattress. You felt as if his blue eyes were studying you, taking you in like a fine piece of art, as he explained, “Being a part of the prestigious Snow family, Rein will have certain expectations to stand up to now, as do you.”

“I didn't sign up for this, Coriolanus.” You shook your head. Staring at a wall, you bitterly remarked, “My mother decided to marry Crassus, but I didn't know that meant I'd have to be some perfect, rich military brat.”

“Yes, well, we just have to make the best of our circumstances.” Coriolanus told you, his voice a bit crisp and tight. His large, pale hand heavily rested on your thigh. His face got dangerously close to yours, causing his breath to warm your skin. His icy eyes flashed with a fire as he smirked, “At least you have me to guide you, ensure that you're perfect.”

Your heart was racing wildly in your chest. Was your soon to be stepbrother coming on to you?

No. He couldn't be.

He couldn't.

Could he?

But before you could find out, Coriolanus was called by his father to help show the movers where to place your things.

Leaving you alone in your room with a million different thoughts swimming in your head.

Not long after moving into the Snow penthouse, you were asked out on a date by Sejanus Plinth. He was very cute and sweet. Plus he came from a good family.

And you accepted, much to Coriolanus' horror.

Dinner that night was interesting, to say the least.

“But father, you can't let her go out with him. He's district.” Coriolanus protested after hearing Crassus approve of your date plans for the following night.

Grandma'am’s wrinkled face shook with worry. “Coriolanus is right, Crassus. The district boy might hurt her. He’s not Capitol blood; he's not civilized despite living amongst us.”

“Sejanus is a sweet boy. I’ve heard only good things about him from Mrs. Plinth.” Your mother smiled in between daintily eating her spoonful of soup.

Correction, not soup, but a tomato lobster cream bisque that was the first of 4 courses. Which also included a desert.

Yea, dinners were a lavish affair in the Snow household. But since Crassus had a cook on staff, you guess they could be.

Coriolanus’ jaw twitched at your mother's words. He felt that she was foolish for taking the words of a district woman to heart. That she shouldn't be encouraging you to go out with that dirty district dog just because his mother- no his ma, said he's a sweet boy.

He's district and anyone with a drop of district blood in them hated those born and bred in the Capitol. Even those who were district transplants that were allowed into the Capitol as a reward for making their fortunes from betraying the blood of their own couldn't be trusted. No, not when their blood wasn't pure, but was tainted.

Sejanus Plinth, although living in the Capitol and being from a filthy rich family, was and always will be a filthy, dirty blooded, district dog. He was undeserving of you. Infact, even a boy from the Capitol was undeserving of you.

Because you deserve nothing, but the best. You were a part of the Snow family, so only the best for you.

And that was him.

Coriolanus was the best. The only one worthy of you.

He knew it was taboo, forbidden even, but he didn't give a fuck.

Coriolanus was going to have you and his father approving of your date with that damn district born Plinth boy wasn't going to stop him.

General Snow reached for his goblet of wine, only to announce in a deep, authoritative tone, “I've given my approval of Y/N’s date with Sejanus Plinth, so all protests of it will stop.” Giving his son a hard look, Crassus cruelly remarked, “Coriolanus, son, perhaps you should find a girl to entertain yourself with instead of your studies. I wonder about you sometimes, if you even like girls at all.” An evil glint appeared in the light blonde general's cerulean eyes. “Perhaps you'd rather go out with the Plinth boy tomorrow night instead of sending Y/N.”

The room went deadly silent. One could hear a pin drop.

“Crassus…” Grandma’am shook her pearl encrusted turbin covered head at her son. Her blue eyes were full of disappointment.

Your mother didn't say a word, just kept eating her soup. If she felt bad, well she didn't show it. Her grey eyes were glued to her spoon, as if the liquid in it was the most fascinating thing she's ever seen.

Coriolanus flew up off his chair, causing it to loudly clatter to the floor, and stormed out of the dining room.

“Coriolanus!” You called out after him, rising from your own chair with the intention to follow after him.

You felt bad for Coriolanus, for what his father said at the supper table. It was uncalled for. It was disgusting and rude. He was trying to shame and embarrass his son, it wasn't right.

Before you could even make it an inch away from the table, your future stepfather rose from the table and rounded on you. Roughly grabbing your wrist, he coldly said, “Let him sulk like the weakling he is. Sit down, Y/N, and finish your first course.”

Everything inside of you screamed to listen to Crassus, to just sit down and eat that damn tomato-lobster bisque, but your need to run to Coriolanus, to make sure that he was alright, won out. You don't even know why, but you seemed drawn to your future stepbrother. You couldn't just abandon him to wallow in misery by himself.

You wretched your arm out of the general’s cold, tight hold. Looking up at him, you said, “I'm not hungry anymore, Crassus.”

“You'll address me as father now, you little brat.” Crassus ordered, towering over you. The imposing war hero looked ready to kill. It seems that nobody has ever stood up to him before, but always fell in line with his command.

You nodded and went to turn around, only for your ‘father’ to grab your wrist once more in a tight hold. His grip on your small wrist was so hard that you could feel the bones squeezing painfully together.

He twisted your arm behind your back, making your wrist flare as if it was on fire while the rest of your arm threatened to snap like a twig, and spin you around to look at the table.

Crassus' voice was deep and full of cruelty as he told you, “Take a good look at your soup, dearest daughter, because your serving will be given to the Avox.”

Your eyes looked at the table, but not at the soup. No, you looked at the pair of women seated at it. Silently, you begged them to help you. Sadly, they wouldn't.

No…

Your mother was too preoccupied with her bowl of soup, or maybe she was afraid of crossing her future husband. And Grandma'am, oh the elderly woman just gave her son a pitiful look, but wouldn't dare speak up against him.

“In fact, for your insubordination you'll starve tonight.” You heard your mother's fiance chuckle cold-heartedly.

Crassus shoved you to the side, causing you to hit the ground with a loud thud. The force of your side colliding with the hard marble floor knocked the wind out of you. So much so, that you didn't even hear the sound of large, loud footsteps hurrying over to you as you weakly pushed yourself up.

You felt a large hand wrap around your upper arm, but the touch was different than before. The long fingers weren't bruising around you, but surprisingly gentle with their lithe hold.

You felt yourself being lifted up to stand on your own two feet as Crassus seethed at his son, the one helping you, “Coriolanus, take that bitch with you and keep her all night. I don't want to see either one of your disrespectful faces until morning.”

Coriolanus’ eyes were full of icy hate as he curtly nodded at his father. Without a word, he ushered you away from the dining room.

Sadly, he'd have to teach you that General Crassus Snow likes his children to be seen and not heard. That he enjoyed slinging out biting, stinging remarks to cut down his children. That he was worse then the devil to deal with. That life could either be hell or something worse then hell with the Snow patriarch.

Coriolanus Snow would teach you how to navigate life under his father's roof because you're his.

Yes, your mother might be marrying his father, but nevertheless you are his and therefore he must protect you.

“What did you do to make him lash out?” Coriolanus asked, sitting with you on his bed.

His room, you discovered, was sparsely decorated. Just like yours, all he had was a bed, a nightstand, a desk and chair. A couple of portraits hung on the walls, and a few trinkets were stacked on the window sill. Oh, and a couple of pictures frames and small items were on his desk, overlooking his school books and papers.

But, all in all, it felt as empty as your room did.

Damn…

This house was cold and empty, full of nothing but sorrow and hate it seemed.

And your mother willingly brought you here.

Fuck your life…

“I got up from the table to follow you; make sure that you were okay.” You honestly told Coriolanus, listening to the sound of his father yelling at your mother about how unmannered you were.

Oh, and they were still in the dining room.

Yea…

That's how loud Crassus was.

Biting your bottom lip, you looked at the boy with platinum curls that you were stuck with for the night, and told him, “Thank you for coming back and helping me, Coriolanus.”

Coriolanus tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. “Y/N, my darling, you belong to me. I'll always come back for you, help you when in danger.”

Before you could even ask him what he meant by belonging to him, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. It caught you off guard. You honestly weren't expecting his lips to be so lush, so soft. And you definitely weren't expecting him to kiss you.

He's going to be your stepbrother soon.

For Christ's sake!

He's going to be your stepbrother!

That revelation caused you to place your hands on his chest and gently push him away, while leaning your head back to break the one-sided kiss. You looked into his icy blue eyes, only to see something dark swimming in them.

Correction: not something dark, but lust.

“What's wrong, Y/N? Why did you push me away?” He asked, voice heavy with wonder. Lust blown baby blue eyes never leaving yours.

“You're going to be my stepbrother soon, Coriolanus. We can't kiss and stuff, it's not right.”

“Oh, darling, we're not blood related, so it's perfectly fine for us to kiss and to fuck.” Coriolanus assured you with a whisper in your ear. His breath was hot against your cheek as he confessed, “I've been watching you at the Academy for years, my little dove. Fucking my fist every night to fantasies of you and now that I have you with me, well, Y/N, I'm not ever letting you go.”

“You've liked me for that long?” You asked in bewilderment.

He couldn't have liked you for so many years, only to never make a move.

Could he?

It just didn't seem possible.

“Mhm…” Coriolanus hummed, only to nip at a spot right below your ear. “You've consumed my thoughts since we were 13, my darling rose.”

What? He's had a crush on you since you were 13?!

Like what?....

He's liked you for that long and never said a word? Never made a move, until now?

Wow…

“Corio-” You began, only for him to sigh and cut you off with, “Please, call me Coryo.”

Nodding, you turned your head slightly so you could look at him. “Coryo, you should've told me how you felt years ago.” Your eyes flickered to his hand, that had found its way on your thigh, and back up to his baby blues. “It's too late to do anything about it now. Our parents are getting married and I'm Sejanus' girlfriend now.”

Coriolanus did not like that remark. Oh no, he didn't like it one bit.

You're NOT Sejanus' girlfriend!

You're his girl, you belonged to him. Hell, you're part of the family now too.

His, his, his!

You're his and he's going to show you.

“You don't belong to him, Y/N. You’re mine.” Coryo darkly declared, only to kiss you.

He kissed you with so much fervor. He was a man possessed as his lips slid against yours. Kisses you as if you were the air he needed to breathe.

This time you didn't push him away. Instead, your lips moved against his. Your hands tightly fisted his shirt; pulling him closer as your lips clashes with his.

Coriolanus pushes you onto your back, causing you to let out a surprised gasp. He used your shock to deepen the kiss by slipping his tongue into your mouth.

His hand caressed the inside of your thigh as his tongue explored your mouth. Tasting you as if you're the sweetest treat.

Your hands ran up his chest and snaked around his neck as your tongue flickered against his, causing you both to moan. As your tongues began an intimate dance, his other hand found its way to your neck.

You pulled away slightly, catching your breath as your lips hovered close to his.

“Coryo.” You breathlessly moaned, feeling his long fingers brush against your soaking wet panties.

“You're so wet for me, darling.” He smugly told you. “You need me, don't you?” He asked, even though he knew that your entire being aches for him at this very moment.

Coryo wanted, no needed, to hear you tell him that you wanted him to fuck you dumb. That only he could take away the ache in your cunt.

Him, the very reason for your wet pussy.

“Coryo…we can't…” You weakly protested as your core aches with a fiery desire. One that you've never felt so fiercely before.

Or at least until now.

“We can, little dove.” He told you, using his fingers to slip your panties to the side. The air hitting your wet pussy causes you to shudder.

Your reaction has him smirking. Pulling your legs open wide for him, he announced in a dark, lustful tone, “I'm gonna fuck you and you're gonna like it, Y/N.”

Breaking eye contact with him as his hands ran over the insides of your spread thighs, you confessed, “I've never done this before, Coryo.”

“You’re a virgin.” Coriolanus stated, not asked. He knew you’ve never been fucked before. He would've known if you had since he stalked looked after you from afar for years.

“Yea…” You trailed off, blushing in embarrassment.

God, your skirt was bunched up and your legs were spread wide open, like a whore in heat, with your panties pushed aside exposing your dripping tight hole to your step brother. And here you were, blushing at having to confirm that you're a virgin.

Coryo took a sick pleasure in you being embarrassed about your innocence despite the wanton state he had you in.

“Don't worry, your stepbrother's going to change that.”

“God, Coryo, don't call yourself my stepbrother while my legs are spread for you. It's dirty.”

“And you're my dirty little slut because your cunt’s drooling and clenching around the air from my dirty words.” Coriolanus taunted as his hands rested on either side of your pussy, thumbs spreading open the lips to expose your tight dripping hole to him. “Oh, darling, you've got such a pretty pussy for me.” He cooed, dipping his head down between your spread legs

“Oh god…” You shakily moan, feeling Coryo lick a thick stripe up your cute with his hot, wet tongue.

You could feel him smirking against you before his tongue flickered your clit.

“Coryo.” You moaned as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked on it.

He smacked the inside of your thigh, only to lift his head away from your pussy and hiss, “Shut up, bitch. Don't wanna get caught, do we?”

“Sorry, it just felt really good.” You apologized, your voice tinted with need.

“You're forgiven, darling, but don't be loud again or else I won't prep you. I'll just fuck you face first in my pillow to muffle your screams and call it a night.” He told you, making new gush of wetness spill out of your pussy. “Oh, looks like me fucking you face first in the mattress turns you on, stepsister.” Coryo darkly chuckled, his breath hot against your aching core. “Don't worry, I'll do that to you, but not tonight. Tonight's your first time and I don't want to hurt my girl. I want to swallow your moans of pleasure, not muffle your moans of pain.” He told you before placing his mouth back on your dripping cunt.

“Mmmm….” You bite your lip, preventing your moan from being too loud, as Coriolanus sucked on your clit.

Your hands found their way into his platinum curls as his tongue teased your tight, wet hole. His thumbs let go of your pussy lips as his mouth latches onto your cunt, tongue messily lapping thru your folds. His hands grabbed onto your thighs, spreading them even wider.

Painfully wider.

But you couldn't help, but curl your toes into the mattress as his icy blue eyes pierced into your soul. He looked at you with such hunger as he messily ate you out.

It was as if he craved you; couldn't get enough of you.

As if he was starved and you're the only meal he's eaten in days.

Your hands tightened in his hair as you felt his tongue enter your hole, fucking you.

“Coryo…more…” You begged, for what you didn't quite know, as your chest began to heave up and down heavily.

Coriolanus knew exactly what you needed.

You needed your tight cunt filled and fucked.

And he was going to give you exactly what you needed.

He wrapped his lips around your clit sucking it harshly, as he slipped his middle finger into your pussy.

Coriolanus moaned at how tight your hole clenched around his long fingers. The tightness of your virgin cunt clenching around his digits had him rock hard and grinding into his mattress. Fuck, he couldn't wait to have his cock inside your tight pussy. Stretching it to its limit, making it fit around his large cock.

“Coryo…feels so good…” You panted as he fucked you with his finger while sucking on your clit.

He smirked against your clit, only to add his pointer finger into your cunt. He curled his long fingers up inside your slick walls, causing you to writhe in pleasure every time he hit that spongy spot deep inside of you.

“I-I think…” You trailed off, biting your lip to keep a moan from spilling out, as you felt pressure build up in your lower belly.

“You think you're gonna cum?” Coryo supplied for you, his breath hot on your cunt, as he began to piston his fingers deep inside of you. He knew you were close by how tight your cunt was squeezing his fingers. He couldn't wait until it was squeezing his cock.

“Yea.” You squeakily nodded.

“I want you to cum on my face like the little slut you are. Can you do that for me, darling?” Coriolanus told you, his voice raspy and thick with lust, before dipping his head back between your spread legs and sucking your clit.

“Please…make me cum, Coryo. Please, so close…” You begged, causing him to fuck his fingers up into furiously while sucking hard and fast on your clit.

He needed to taste your juices spilling out onto his chin, needed to feel your pussy tightening around his fingers. He craved it like the headmaster at the Academy craved a fix of morphling.

Your toes curled tightly in the sheets and your nails scratched Coryo's scalped as you came with the sound of his name on your lips.

He slowed his movements just enough to help you ride out your high. His tongue greedily lapped up every bit of your juices that came squirting out of your pussy.

Your hands fell out of his curls as you began to calm down from your high. You couldn't help, but smile at how messy his hair looked as a result of you pulling on it.

When Coryo pulled his fingers out of you and sat up, sucking them clean, you were horrified to see that his chin was glistening, that your juices were dripping down his chin and onto his neck. Your cheeks flushed red and you quickly sat up, trying to clean the wetness from his chin. “I'm so sorry, I-” You attempted to apologize, only to be cut off by Coryo chuckling, “Don't apologize, darling. You squirting all over my face turns me on.”

“Really?” You asked, eyes wide with shock.

“Really.” He nodded, grabbing your hand that you used to wipe his chin with. Bringing your palm up to your face, he huskily ordered, “Now taste yourself.”

You blinked, feeling your pussy begin to pool and ache again, only to obey Coryo’s command and lick his hand clean.

The taste of yourself was a bit sweet and tangy. It was also intoxicating.

Standing up and pulling you up with him, Coryo said, “We need to get undressed.”

“Okay.” You nodded, feeling a bit nervous despite having just had Coriolanus’ platinum blonde head between your legs mere moments ago.

You went to grab the hem of your dress, only to have Coryo bat your hands away and grab it himself. “Lift your arms up, darling.” You nodded and did what you were told. Quickly, he pulled your dress off and tossed it to the side. “Take your bra and panties off.” He instructed while quickly working to unbutton his shirt.

Coriolanus’ lust blown eyes were glued to you as you reached behind your back and unhooked your bra. He felt his breath hitch as you took off your simple, white lace bra.

“Oh, little dove, your tits are perfect.” He cooed while removing his shirt and tossing it to the side.

You shook your head, only to look down at the floor and sigh, “No they're not, Coryo. You don't have to say that.”

Being nearly 18, you're self conscious about your boob size. Especially since you didn't seem to be as developed as the most popular girl in school. The girl that every boy (well, maybe not every boy since Coriolanus was half naked in his room with you) wanted to fuck. The perfect, pretty, popular, dirty blonde with jewel tone eyes.

Livia Cardew.

Coryo had just toed off his shoes and unbuckled his belt when your self doubt caused him to stop undressing. He closed the small space between you and reached his hands out to grab your tits.

You shyly bit your lip as he squeezed them. “Your tits are perfect because I say so, my darling.” Coriolanus huskily told you as the pad of his thumbs roughly ran over your nipples.

“But I'm not-” You began to protest, a feeble attempt at explaining your thoughts, only for Coryo to cut you off with, “Shut up, I told you that I think your tits are perfect.” He roughly squeezed them. “As long as I say they're perfect, little dove, then they are.” He declared before bending his head and taking one of your, now pebbled, nipples into your mouth.

The feeling of his wet tongue swirling around your nipples while his fingers tweaked your other one has you rubbing your thighs together, seeking friction to relieve that growing ache between your legs.

Letting go of your nipple with a wet pop, his lust filled blue eyes bore into yours as he orders, “Unzip and pull my pants off, Y/N.”

“Okay.” You nodded before doing as you're told with shaky hands, all the while Coryo was biting and nipping at a spot on your left boob.

You knew he was leaving a hickey there and, for some reason, it turned you on. The idea of him marking you as his made something flare up in you.

You've never had somebody want you before, but Coryo wants you so much that he's putting his mark on you. Staking his claim.

Coryo pulled his head up off your chest as his pants pooled around his long legs. Stepping out of them and kicking them to the side, he smirked, “You should take your panties off. But put your kitten heels back on, I want to fuck you in them.”

“Okay.” You nodded, pulling down your lace white panties while watching him pull off his socks.

You bent over and grabbed your shoes from the floor. Putting on your black kitten heels, your eyes popped out of your head as you watched him pull down his boxers only for his big cock to spring free and slap up against his lower stomach. You've never seen a cock before, but you knew his was big. It was long and girthy. Must be at least 8 inches, had veins on the underside and an angry red head that's tip was leaking precum.

You felt yourself gushing just from looking at it. Oh my God, how is that going to fit inside of your pussy.

“Don't worry, it'll fit.” Coryo assured you, a proud grin on his angular face.

What the hell? Did you say that out loud about him not being able to fit? Oh hell…you must've.

Taking your hand in his large one, he brought you over to the bed. “Lay down and spread your legs as wide as you can for me.” He instructed.

Nodding, you quickly laid on the bed and spread your legs for him. Your knees slightly bent, kitten heels slightly digging into the mattress.

“Fuck, your pussy’s so perfect.” Coriolanus swore while kneeling onto the bed, right between your shaking thighs. “Perfect and all mine.” He said while using his thumb to smear his precum around his cockhead. He began to give himself a few shallow pumps, to coat his cock with his precum, as you stared up at him with anticipation dancing in your eyes.

“You want me, Y/N?” Coriolanus asked, lining his dick up with your pussy. “Once I have you, take your virginity, I'm not letting you go.” He told you, teasing his cock thru your wet folds. “I fuck you and you're mine forever. You understand me, my darling rose?” He seriously asked, giving you a last minute opportunity to back out, as his dick bumped your clit.

Your hands held onto his shoulders as you looked him square in his icy blue eyes and confidently said, “Make me yours, Coryo. I want to be yours.”

That was the sweetest thing he ever heard. You begging him to make you his. Saying that you wanted to be his.

Coriolanus was in heaven.

He dipped his head down and captured your lips in a quick, but needy kiss before lining his tip up with your tight hole. He leaned his forehead against yours as he surged forward, pushing his length inside of your tight walls.

Your nails clawed at him and your eyes teared up at the stinging sensation of being stretched wide open on his large cock for the first time in your life. You bite your lip, swallowing back a cry, as your walls struggled to accommodate his large cock.

Coryo was about halfway in whenever he brushed away a stray tear rolling down your cheek. “You're taking me so well.” He praised. Kissing your cheek, he said, “Just a little bit more, Y/N. I know you can handle it. You cunt's made for my cock.”

“It stings, Coryo.” You gritted out, feeling him pop your cherry before sliding the rest on the way in and bottoming it.

“I know, it does. I know it does, darling.” The platinum blonde told you in a feeble attempt to soothe away your pain. With a proud smile, he pointed between you and said, “Look, a perfect fit.”

You looked down to see that he had disappeared inside of you; the only evidence of his cock being the outlining bulge in the bottom of your tummy. You ran your fingers over the outline in awe, causing your-hell you don't know what to call him right now except for Coryo, to shudder blissfully.

Bringing his large hand to cover yours as it traced over his bulge in your tummy, he proudly announced, “My cock’s deep up inside of your womb, darling.” Lacing your fingers with his, he pinned your hand onto the mattress and began slowly thrusting into you. “I'm gonna fuck my baby up into your womb. Show everyone that you belong to me.”

His words were like a bucket of ice water being dumped over your head. The reality that you weren't on birth control and had your soon to be stepbrother's cock in your not so virginal pussy anymore had you slightly panicking.

“Coryo, you can't do that. You can't cum inside of me. I'm not on anything and our parents’ll be mad if-” You began to frantically ramble as Coryo fucked his cock slow, but deep inside of you, only for him to cut you off with a rough toned, “I don't give a fuck what those assholes think, Y/N. I'm 18 and soon you'll be 18, so they have no say over us fucking.”

You bit your lip, leaving out a mewl, as your felt his dick brush up against the spongy spot inside of you.

“Hell, come mid-summer we'll be graduating the Academy, so knocking you up won't interfere with your education cause there's only a handful of months left til the games and the graduation ceremony.”

“Coryo, were too young. Just, please, pull out before you cum.” You pleaded with innocent eyes.

Coryo couldn't grant you that. He couldn't do that for you. He's selfish and wants you all to himself. What better way to ensure that you stay with him then to baby trap you?

It's perfect, really.

Knock you up and you're stuck with him forever.

Nobody will ever want you let alone look twice at you once they see you're pregnant with his baby.

With your stepbrother's baby.

Oh, yes, knocking you up will make the perfect scandal that'll keep you two together forever.

Plus, Crassus won't want the shame of having a bastard grandchild, so he'll push for Coriolanus and you to marry in order to give the baby a legal name.

Sadly, Coryo underestimates how evil and cruel his father can be (even to his unborn grandchild). If he wasn't so pussydrunk, maybe Coryo would've realized that knocking you up would only enrage his father.

But he wasn't thinking clearly. He's pussydrunk and high on his obsessive love for you.

“I'm not pulling out, Y/N.” Coryo firmly told you. Speeding up his movements, he grunted, “Now stop whining and enjoy me fucking you.”

You didn't argue about the subject of him pulling out anymore, just nodded your head and let the feelings of pleasure wash over you.

Your breath hitched and you let out a mewl when Coryo's hands grabbed a hold of your legs and pressed them into your chest, causing them to rest on his shoulders as he began to thrust harder into you.

“Coryo…you feel even bigger…’ You muttered, the position change making him hit deeper inside of you.

“You like my big cock fucking splitting open your pussy, don't you? Fuck, your taking my cock like such a little cock slut, Y/N.” He darkly told you, lust tainting his voice, as you scratched his back and babbled his name.

“Coryo, please. I'm so close. So close…” You begged him to make you cum as your head got heavy, making you feel like you're underwater.

“I'll make you cum, darling. I'll make you cum right now on my cock.” Coryo told you, snaking his hand between your bodies only to roughly rub and pinch your puffy clit.

The feeling of his thumb roughly abusing your clit and his cock deeply plowing into your pussy has you clenching around him, cumming hard with his name on your tongue like a prayer.

Coryo fucked your thru the aftershocks of your second orgasm, only to sloppily speed up and chase his own release.

“I'm gonna cum inside your pussy and you're gonna take it all, Y/N. You're gonna drain my cock dry, little dove.” He told you as he felt his heavy balls, that were slapping relentlessly against your ass, tense up.

“Coryo, I think I'm gonna cum again.” You told him, feeling that warm fluttery feeling well up in your lower belly once more.

“Fuck, your creaming my cock like such a good little slut.” Coryo groaned at the sight of the white creamy ring you were leaving around the base of him. “Fuck…” He gasped, about to cum. “Cum with me, darling. Cum with me.” He demanded, his hips stuttering before he let out his release.

You came again once you felt his hot cum shoot up deep inside of you in thick ropes.

“Oh fuck…” Coryo panted, collapsing on top of you.

“Oh fuck…” You agreed with him, kicking your feet and causing your black kitten heels to go flying across the room.

Your legs limply slipped from his shoulders as your hands shakily carded thru his sweaty light blonde curls. All while his face nestled into your perfect tits. Coryo's softening cock was still nestled inside of you, but you didn't mind. The closeness felt nice.

Your first time was amazing. It was nothing like the horror stories you heard other girls at the Academy gossip about. You were lucky that Coryo knew what he was doing. You felt wanted for the first time in your life after losing your virginity to him.

Coriolanus felt that fucking you was the best experience in his life. Honestly, it sure beats all those stupid quickies he had with dumb whores in the alley behind the club. He'd never tell you that tho.

No, you didn't need to know about his sexual past.

All that you needed to know was that you’re the only one that he wants. The only pussy that he’s getting his dick wet with for now on is yours.

You were cuddling in bed together, blankets pulled up around the both of you. Your head was resting in the crook of his neck as his long fingers raked thru your hair.

You felt happy in this moment, but you knew that it couldn't last. That it has to end. Your parents were getting married.

You could never be together, not truly.

You were going to be stepsiblings soon. Being together would be considered taboo.

Coryo could sense something was bothering you. “What's the matter, darling?” He asked, searching your eyes.

“We can't do this again, Coryo. Despite how we feel, it's taboo.” You told him, breaking eye contact with him because you didn't want to see his reaction.

“Y/N, I don't care what society thinks about us, our situation.” The platinum blonde spat. Lifting your chin up, so you had to look him in the eyes, he swore, “You're mine and I'm not giving you up. I'll kill anyone that tries to take you away from me, Y/N.” Coryo leaned in, kissing you on the lips. “It's us against the world, my darling rose. And you know what? Snow always lands on top.”

You were tired and didn't want to fight, so you decided to give in to him, to the man whose arms you were in. “Okay, us against the world then.” You smiled, eyes fluttering tiredly.

“One day when I'm the president and you're my first lady, nobody'll even remember that our parents decided to get married. And if they do, well, they won't be breathing for long to say anything about it.” You heard Coriolanus tell you while drifting off to sleep, warm and safe in his strong hold.

If only you knew how many people Coriolanus would kill in his lifetime, would you still stick by his side?

Probably, since he was ingrained in your soul once you gave him your precious gift that was your innocence- your virginity.

After all, you discovered quickly after becoming a part of the toxic Snow family that it truly was you and Coryo against the world.

Tags: @kuroosbby001, @purriteen, @poppyflower-22, @meetmeatyourworst, @whipwhoops, @bxtchopolis, @readingthingsonhere,@savagenctzen, @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer, @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans, @sudek4l, @wearemadeofstardust0, @mashiromochi, @gracieroxzy, @belcalis9503, @shari-berri, @aoi-targaryen, @whiteoakoak, @spear-bearing-bi-witch, @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons, @qoopeeya, @mfnqueen1

[acourtofthought]

Upon my acotar reread, I found a fun Elucien hint. At the end of acosf Nesta gives her and Feyre to ability to have babies with wings, but not Elain. And I was thinking that SJM wouldn’t purposely leave Elain out of that, unless she won’t need to have to ability to have babies with wings.

I fully admit that I may be overthinking this, but it does seem like the type of hint SJM would do

I don't think this is a reason why two characters can't end up together but I think it makes sense that she left it out if she's always known that Elain and Az aren't going to end up together, that Elain and Lucien were always endgame with Az now ending up with Gwyn.

One of the main issues of SF was Feyre having a winged baby and the risk that posed to her health. Now that we know there's a risk to any non Illyrian female ending up with an Illyrian male that means if Sarah wants her endgame pairings to attempt having their own children (since she herself said in an interview that if a book did not have romance she'd write her own ending where the characters ended married with a bunch of babies) she has to make sure she doesn't leave this as a plot hole for future pairings. And doesn't have to continue coming up with new magical solutions every time it becomes an issue.

So she changed Nesta's anatomy which means she's good to go if she and Cassian want to try for kids. And she told us that Gwyn has pliable bones which is kind of a pointless detail unless Sarah is again covering her bases. Either for a future plot related to Gwyn, possible proof that her story is not over like some feel it is and / or because if she and Az end up mated and married, they're in the clear to try for children if that's what they want.

Could Sarah create a storyline where Az and Elain end up together, wanting their own kids and she gets to magically change her pelvis too? Of course, Sarah can do whatever she wants. But stealing the exact same storyline from one book to the next seems cheap for a seasoned author.

I think the most logical explanation is that Sarah has always known Elain and Lucien were endgame therefore there was no need for her to hint at Elain's anatomy being changed the way it seems she possibly hinted at Gwyn's ability to accommodate a winged child if necessary. Anti's can argue all they want over how it would be too spoilery if she changed Elain's anatomy but these are the same people who insist that it's obvious to Feyre, Nesta, etc. that Az and Elain are meant to be. Who claim that because Elain wanted to kiss Az in SF it means they'll end up together and who claim "bread and roses" means they're already living together in the townhouse. So I'm a bit confused on how Sarah could spoil anything that is apparently already so obvious.

Nesta could have simply explained that she changed Elain's too only to give her options with a little "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" while looking in Az's direction.

An Elain story where she asks for the mother to change her anatomy after we already saw Nesta's story where she spoke to the mother and changed her anatomy is redundant.

An Elain story where an Archeron doesn't end up with a bat boy therefore we don't need to recycle the same plot is something we haven't seen.

And yes, Sarah is adopted therefore Elain and Az could adopt and we have no idea whether they want kids. However Sarah is also now a mother to two of her own biological children and is the author of this fantasy world. An author who loves HEA and says she likes seeing characters married with all the babies. I don't really see her as being the person who is going to tackle the very sensitive subject of infertility in a fantasy book or put limits on her endgame couples since they have immortality together.

Really, I just think Sarah's statement that Elain took both she and Lucien by surprise, that they'd have a lot of tension, growth, and healing together was the author telling us that Elain and Lucien are endgame. Therefore Elain's anatomy isn't even something Sarah felt she had to worry about because her mate doesn't have wings.

Az to me was always set up to be a rebound after Graysen's rejection, something for Elain to focus on until it was time for her to have her true healing arc. That's why the deeper issues like marriage and children don't matter when it comes to E/riel because they were never going to get any further than an almost kiss, a dirty secret Az ended up regretting and Elain ended up hurt by.

[desmoinesiaescorts]

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THOSE GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN' SCAMMERS!!

To summarize my experiences with Des Moines escorts, it's a mixed bag of friendly, top-notch performers blended with emotionally numb, lackluster providers.

______________________________________________________________

DA GOOD

GOOD escorts are - obviously - great in bed and willing to go the extra mile to fulfill your wildest fantasies. However, they also recognize that their bedroom performance is just one part of delivering a great overall experience.

Popular escorts with long client lists are successful because they know how to connect with their clients. They're experts on building rapport as soon as their client walks into their hotel/motel room or as soon as they enter the client's house.

One motto I strongly believe in, "You take care of me and I'll take care of you."

Your overall sexual experience will be so much better over time as the two of you establish trust and build a stronger escort/client relationship.

As the client, you MUST ALWAYS fulfill everything you promise to do. Whether that means simply paying the agreed-upon fee without trying to negotiate for a smaller rate, providing the provider with extra when you said you would, or not pushing them into something that makes them uncomfortable per their request.

The more comfortable you and the escort become, the more interesting and fun your encounters will be.

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DA BAD

The BAD try to conduct their business like an assembly line.

It's never about making connections or building clientele. Their primary focus is getting paid for doing less than the bare minimum.

They'll appear miserable, try to rush you to blow your load, then act inconvenienced if you take too long.

____________________________________________________________

DA SCAMMERS

Finally, there are the SCAMMERS.

The selfish, narcissistic, waste of human space, who seek their fortune at the expense of naive horny men lookin' to cash in on the girl of their dreams, only to realize they just paid for an expensive hand job they'll have to provide to themselves.

Scammers cast a long, dark shadow over the entire sex industry, negatively impacting both providers and clients. In addition to losing their money, clients are left to deal with a cascade of anger and disappointment, which further damages a client's ego.

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IDENTIFYING RED FLAGS OF AN ESCORT SCAMMER

Every industry has its share of bad apples.

Those who are rotten to the core are definitely the fraudsters. They look to swindle gullible, horny, sex-crazed men for significant amounts of money over the internet with a false promise the woman of their dreams is available and ready to fulfill every fantasy they have.

There are a few red flags you should be aware of when dealing with shady escorts looking to get paid and then bail before you know what happened.

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RED FLAG 1: THEY WANT TO GO TO THEIR CAR TO GET OR CHECK ON SOMETHING

I fell to this scam three times.

The first one needed to 'go check on something real quickly' and be right back. The second claimed she really needed something that would enhance our time together. I asked if she planned to take off. She said no, and couldn't believe other escorts would do that. Well, she did it.

The third one was a huge kick in the balls. It was an escort whose services I'd used several times. Plus, we had a good business/client relationship where I'd occasionally helped her out when she needed a few dollars for gas, food, or to pay her phone bill.

She called the next day to apologize for bailing on me. She asked if I wanted to see her. I told her I was up for that. She then said she'd give me a discount. I declined the offer. I told her I paid for the service already. I told her to MAKE IT RIGHT and come over and provide the service I had already paid for. She started begging me to accept a discount. I didn't budge. Unfortunately, our business/client relationship came to an end.

Just goes to show you, even the escorts you think appreciate you for being a consistent source of income may, for whatever reason, take your money and provide no honey.

When an escort says they want to go to their car AFTER you've given them their payment, ask them to leave their phone, purse, or both behind. If they have an issue with that, or try to play the "don't you trust me" card, just know as soon as she gets to her car, she's looking to peel out of your driveway.

A few ways to respond to an escort who refuses to leave their purse or phone behind . . .

1. Ask for your money back

If she grabs her purse and phone, she's planning bail on you.

When confronting her, she'll pretend to be confused and offended by your request. Acting shocked and asking why you don't trust her.

If it's the first time you're meeting with an escort, make it clear you don't know them well enough to assume they won't leave. Also, mention you're aware of this scam. She may ask if you think she's that type of girl. Again, reintegrate, you don't know her, and trust will need to be built over time.

At this point, just suggest she forget about whatever's in her car and tell her to remember to bring it next time.

However, if she still wants to go to her car, carrying her phone and purse, ask her to refund your money. Get her to do it in front of you. Don't EVER believe she'll refund your money when she's in her car driving away. She'll PROMISE but the only guarantee you'll have is that you're going to get screwed, and not in the way you'd hoped.

2. Don't get anything from your car

Let her know, since it's your first time together, not to worry about whatever she wants to go get.

If she's still adamant about going to her car, let her know you'll accompany her. She'll attempt to make you feel guilty for not trusting her and accuse you of being judgmental, creepy, or making her feel uncomfortable. Again, if they're unwilling to leave their purse or phone behind, they're looking to bail.

3. Fake purse and bank card

One escort brought a decoy purse and a fake card with her. After conducting the transaction, she told me she needed to go to her car. I immediately said I would accompany her. She then did the usual, "Why don't you trust me?" routine.

To show me how serious she was about not leaving, she left her purse and her bankcard behind (so I thought). Since she left her purse with me, I was fine with her going to her car. However, after a few minutes, I texted her and got no response. I checked out the purse she left behind. The only thing in it was an old gift card. Plus, the purse was old and dirty. It looked like something a toddler might get as a birthday or Christmas gift.

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RED FLAG 2: SEND A DEPOSIT OR GIFT CARD

This is an old scam, but still used by fraudsters posing as a escort.

The fake escort will agree to meet with you AFTER you send them a deposit. They will claim they "get a lot of no-shows". Therefore, if you decide not to meet for some reason, they still get a little something. In most cases, they'll ask you to send them half of their hourly payment and tell you to pay the rest once you connect in person.

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PLEASE NOTE:

NO LEGITIMATE PROVIDER WILL REQUEST A DEPOSIT OR GIFT CARD BEFORE MEETING YOU !!

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When a deposit is requested, one of two things will happen once you send it:

1. You'll be ghosted

It won't take long to realize you were scammed.

The person who was responding to your texts in lightning-fast time will suddenly go silent.

Now, it might've been a small amount you lost, like $50 - $100. However, if the scammers' lucky enough to trick multiple sex-starved males into sending small deposits of cash, it'll add up to a huge payoff.

2. Once the deposits made, please send money for ...

You send the deposit and think you're good to go. Well, hold on!

Next, you're asked to send more cash to, let's say, reserve the room (which makes no sense since you're meeting them at the hotel where they're already supposedly checked in). If you do it, they'll then ask for another pay for something else. They'll keep doing this until you wise up.

Real escorts only charge one fee to meet with them. Not several fees for various reasons.

_____________________________________________________________

RED FLAG 3: I NEED TO GET GOING HOWEVER I'LL BE BACK

This happened with a veteran escort who also lived close to where I reside.

She came over and got undressed. Talked 90 mph. I couldn't tell if she was on anything. She claimed she needed to get going soon because she had a room waiting for her in another town where she would be conducting business.

The only thing she did was play with my cock a little bit. I could tell she was in a rush. I explained I cannot be rushed, otherwise I can't perform. She understood and suggested we get together (free of charge, of course) in a couple of days for some fun, non-rushed bedroom fun.

She never came back. I did contact her and got a hold of her, but when she figured out who I was, she disconnected the call. ______________________________________________________________

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN AND REMEMBER THE RED FLAGS

These are a few red flags to be aware of when you're with an escort who may be acting and appearing shady upon meeting you.

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to get your money back, which wouldn't be considered illegal. Despite taking your money and providing you no service, it's not worth your time to pursue them and attempt to get a refund or the service you were promised.

One of the only ways to get back at them is to possibly post with the same pictures they use for their ad, and warn other men to avoid her at all costs and why. That is one possible way to negatively impact her business and hopefully save other men from getting screwed over too.

[gojuo]

rant but i'm almost certain that that reddit account is you lol.

you're so right about everything. dornish people are largely NOT white in the books (why does everyone think they were all brown in the show?). sure, some people from dorne like the dayne's are white or at least very pale, but most of them are black and brown.

“it was based on spain!!!” yeah, the moors of spain..... please open a history book up and read up on that time period.

wilfully ignorant stupidasses

didn't he fan cast salma hayek (who is literally half lebanese aka arab) as arienne?

“fabien frankel is white!!” yes, he is partially white. now if he was fully white, people on twitter wouldn't be calling him a dirty indian monkey. criston is half brown because his family is dornish and he's played by a half indian/iraqi man

“stop trying to be woke!! not all of the characters need to be non white!!” no, they really don't. that's exactly why no one asked for black velaryons. the actors and actresses all killed it and did amazing, but it wasn't necessary. what we did ask for was nettles. the actual black character in the books. but oh wait, now people are claiming that nettles is white. i guess her description of having dark brown skin and thick curly hair wasn't enough. she is as pale as milk and a pure blooded pseudo-mediavel era european 🥰🥰

but that's probably not even significant at all, seen as though we might not even get her in the show

it is so tiring being a person of colour in this fandom. i am so tired 😭😭

i'm crying how did you even figure out it was me 😭😭😭😭 do i have a signature way of speaking or something? 😂

but yea being a poc in this fandom is tiring as hell. from all the racism thrown against the dornish to the claims that they're all white anyways (to find a way round the racism accusations) it's all just so tiresome...

he's always fancasted MENASA/Latinos for his dornish characters. i remember him mentioning janina gavankar and appollonia kotero at some point, even though his mixing of different ethnicities is an issue (someone tell this man POC aren't interchangeable 🙄). the official art he approves of for dornish architecture, building, clothing, and food etc. is basically all MENA-inspired.

this fandom is so annoying about dorne, but this is also just a major issue within fandom spaces of fantasy/sci-fi works—racism thrives. one minute they'll use racialized language when speaking on poc characters + play into racist tropes the author makes use of, and then the next minute they'll sidestep their racist behavior by claiming these characters weren't poc anyways. they're so deeply aggravating.

[blushydrangea]

so curious on your thoughts on the latest shenanigans lol, also missing your nymphia thoughts in general 💗

it's been a while. cracks knuckles.

(under a read more because it's quite long!)

a lot of things happened since my last time answering an ask about ✈️🍌, even claims that they were long gone apparently. the taiwan trip was so sweet and i'm happy they spent time together & with mirage, something i love about this cast is that they always find opportunities to hang out with each other in different combos, their bond is so cute! i'm curious about the music they're working on, although it seems like we won't get to hear it for a while 😭.

kissgate (that's what i'm calling it lmao) soured my feelings a little bit, because we shouldn't be attacking real people for not acting according to our headcanons. it was sad that plane had to explain herself on twitter, and it's good that the girlies still interact normally after that but i honestly wouldn't blame them if that caused for them to hide their friendship a bit more. still i'm 110% sure they'll never lose what they have, it seems to be something important for both of them and that they wouldn't let go of 🩷.

the drought reminded me of early march (i believe...) when they didn't talk for two weeks (!), i think most people weren't here for it and that is why a bunch of you freaked out. don't worry if it happens again, ✈️🍌 are fine, have some faith in them!

THE PAST DAYS WERE WILDDD. we got bratty nymphia demanding plane's full attention, nymphia with morphine which goes so well with my seven stages fantasy, and planymphia being super sweet with each other 🥺 it was a great moment for the enjoyers, both of them looked so goooood and nymph is like a vocaloid come to life in that cute outfit. their whole live on morphine's ig was absolutely wild & i'm sure a lot of people have shared their thoughts already and i don't wanna repeat them, so i'll just say that the forehead kiss was very important to me <3 and very seven stages. i love winning!

onto nymphia thoughts since you mentioned that!

1) she seems so exhausted and it breaks my heart. nymphia appears to be the type of person who gets more energy from being around her close friends, so she was happier with the s16 cast, but when she's alone it's sad to watch how tired she is. she also mentioned not sleeping in her ig story. i hope the princess can find some time to rest and take care of herself, she deserves it :(

2) on a lighter note... HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME LA GRANDE DAME IS A BANANA BELIEVER– she liked two!!!! nymphia tweets!!! and commented "oui" on a team nymphia post!!!!! if you were around here in 2022 you'd know how obsessed with lgd i was then, so i'm sure she did this for me 🤧. the pretty & silly fashion girl liking the other pretty & silly fashion girl makes so much sense <3 they follow each other too and now i need a dada and nymphia encounter. pls someone book them both for something. PLEASE. i need to see nymphia look tiny next to her.

that's all i have! even though i've been dethroned lol it's still nice to know someone cares enough about my thoughts to shoot me an ask through my inactivity. i love fandom 🥰

[daphnethebanjolover]

Thoughts on the September 2023 Direct

Splatoon 3: Sparks of Hope

I would give my life for Pearlbot.

Why are they making us wait until spring?

Swordfighter Peach is making all my sapphic dreams come true.

The more consoles Trombone Champ is on, the better. That game is hilarious.

Kinda bold of Atlus to claim to make "the rebirth of tactical fantasy RPGs." That's setting some pretty high standards.

That's a cool Nintendo museum they got there. I wonder if they'll make one in San Antonio hint hint wink wink nod nod.

Did we need two League of Legends spinoff games?

Some of those WarioWare poses look all kinds of wrong, but honestly, that's what WarioWare is all about.

Continuing the streak of Crygor never having the same design for two games in a row...

THEY PUT 13-AMP IN THE CAST PICTURE! I KNEW SHE WAS GONNA JOIN NEXT!

Kinda based for Dave the Diver to release on my birthday. The concept looks interesting, too.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting Daisy Circuit for the DLC, but I'm not disappointed. I wonder what else they're going to add.

I almost forgot. FUNKY KONG!

I can't believe we're getting the Among Us beach episode.

I couldn't stop giggling at the Fungle. I'm going to be saying that name for days.

Who's ready to play Call of Duty Shoot a Man?

(Seriously, if the Game Grumps don't play the Thousand Year Door remake, I'll be sad.)

[fawn-in-words]

Dear Will,

It would be rude not too she said... you. Write some words for Illustrious to say morning it's your City you decide where to go today, here with Koppa she wants, led astray no my choice as always. Supass it's 4 percent in my defence let's pace and bless crawl because my bag so heavy, excuses excuses... Fine?

What an experience last night, stuff of fantasy still discrete and private but oh my goodness the desire to meet and repeat... Uhhumm rom required to balance desire. Desire to spoons well I'm here drinking.

Supass how do a balance the two when you both undecided, something for me to work on but I'm adding gambling to my habits, nah just a bit of fun you'll bring fortune I'll blame illustrious if I lose. Illustrious owes me two quid I think an idea will pay? I'll help drafts will

Debt paid in full in fact I probably owe her will she claim it before the days out?

What to say a cheap momento doesn't do service to how I feel in my heart but my mind isn't far behind, love...you

Supass! Your young well you are but your young now our young, mwaaa so proud they'll have the best life and future if we keep topping up Trustease. We will, I'll earn all the time. A step dad wow my own dad would be proud. Love!

Love and to display it in a poem

A grand way to display

A grand way to display

Love from the depths of a poem

Illustrious we're having numerous expressions tonight I'm going to keep going until you tire, want to dedicate some time to the yum but you're always in my thoughts that's why I get caught you know, calling longing to include yet there's sofa talk, bed talk and then post talk I know you understand. Will be back soon think of me in my favourite won't you...

A description in words bottom to top, bottom of my heart to the top of my mind. You're a wonderful fame personality, popular, graceful yet power, don't you ever possess power.  A total stunning woman who's a great wife to me so happy just to see a picture let alone out shared embrace when we are in person.  I'll be awe but will just tell you how I am and let you make me comfortable to express my humour.  I'll be good if I can get you laughing I know it.

This goes some way to counter the vulnerable but isn't it good not to be completely relaxed? Yet never will I take your love for granted, I want to earn those words all the time so they make heart shine, like you witness.  I'll say it more though, you deserve to hear those words.

Back did you miss no we don't need to have a mature discussion about what was said in haste. It's the force behind the words and there wasn't any so don't worry you apologised heartfelt I forgive we get het with what's happening, better?

Dunn Dunn Dunn da dunn Dunn tick the best chorus I couldn't write better. I should at least attempt to write a chorus seeing as so many wanted me to.

To "Love" I want to pen something I say pen I mean touch type. Phew dragged back down, I'll see what I can muster. Defeat, I can't do it it's grand as it is.  Soopertrack is up next some time for Illustrious before I'm back fawning and planning and what's the strategy? Do you want to hear the three powerful Words I LOVE YOU!

Ho Illustrious Soopertrack with nothing to make up for but plenty to make out for.  Make out such an Americanism does it work in Gloucester. I remember not letting the prof where you from be prof, smile I know it's ry the hole Cheltenham v Gloucester thing.

Do I miss Abbey? The memory jog because I keep forgetting how unforgettable our moments were... We'll have plenty more for me to forget and you to push me for.  Do you miss Abbey? Love yourself for what you've done. Do that for me I'll reward by exploring deeper tonight.

What have I newly noticed but not commented on your nose is similar to mine I feel, not something new I've noticed I scrabbed how about you tell me something I should notice or at least pay more attention too? It's for me to notice you not be guided. Let me say I notice all and have preferences but a two way street love? No you're not oohh this is dance coming.

How about I just say the RTS intro, sublime such passion in delivery and your over the shoulder, did you moisture your skin flawless.

A little hint at love for myself

To brighten and enthrall

The two loves of my life

Fills me with pride and the wereforall

To accept my faults because I am accepted

For life it is, no rest for life

Won't read back until late all serious but it is and yes I should be doing more but will lighten this moment with a lecture, won't lecture but will say keep faith in love, in me, in US and I'll show you defence like you've never witnessed.

Supass have I really expressed my truth today, more real than I've ever been recently well since we met that day, I'll just watch the opening be right back...

I'll be asking myself for the rest of my life, beaming because of me, arrgh I'll take it out on my tris tomorrow.

I love your neck want to adorn it with kisses all the time, I'll make you like that feature.

Illustrious I'll defend your honour it's constraining not to get everyone but you'll be pleasantly surprised at what the court will do no eleven are targeted and wrapped, it just hasn't dawned on the hate, it will. If you ever want defence just ask and I'll handle same goes for Supass.

{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Playing with AI Writers

For the moment, let's set aside the question of whether the writing is stolen. In theory if you write prolifically yourself and/or it grabs exclusively from public domain, which is a LOT of text, a language model could get something that behaves much the same as the current stuff, even if the current stuff may have shitty moral undertones if its creators did a copyright violation because they're lazy.

In other words, from a structural standpoint, that's not the problem. "Ethically sourced" AI chatbots are possible.

I want to talk about the results, things I appreciate, and the current endemic problems.

So, most of the time the way a chatbot works is by slicing pieces of speech patterns into what it calls "tokens." These are usually a sentence long, but not always. It then finds sets of tokens that seem like the next piece of what should be said, like a longer-form version of how your autocomplete works on your phone. You press "t" and it offers the most likely options, probably "the" and "this" unless you have odd writing habits (more on that in a sec) and then if you follow up with u for "tu" it updates, tuned to the extra information; "the" and "this" are now impossible, and the most likely words starting with "tu" are "turn" and "Tuesday." With tokens all sliced up and vaguely grouped in a way we'll say is kind of like letters for the sake of letting this metaphor make sense, you can see how putting in a sentence - "I attempt to pick the ogre's pocket without waking it." - is much like putting "t" into an autofill-enabled device on a phone or word processor. Adding another sentence might get you closer to your preferred response, being as it is, in this metaphor, akin to typing "tu" rather than "t"; You're feeding in two tokens to help it respond with superior search results. For example if you follow up with "My arm grows weak as I near the creature and smell the flesh that I realize used to be my squad." that is a very different - more fantasy-horror - vibe, and both the odds of the creature waking and the results of its waking will be substantially altered by such a follow-up.

Now, in spite of how much I've enjoyed playing with AI storytelling devices on my own machine, I'm gonna trash these programs for a hot minute: The unsolvable problem is that context matters. People are treating AI-generated text like some magical context-maker machine, the way people who've had 1 but not 2 years of physics might think if they get their ring of magnets at just the right angle they'll get another ring of magnets inside them to spin infinitely for unlimited free energy. This metaphor is, I should mention, very good.

Because just like the fake infinite energy machine, there are a bunch of people trying to profit off of the idea that AI is infinite context-value for no work.

Because just like the fake infinite energy machine, it's not like there's no such thing as an engine; just not an engine that makes infinite power for free. The problem with AI writing isn't that it can't get you toward having a written document full of interesting and potentially even copyrightable text. It's merely that it has a bunch of hidden costs that make it way less efficient and valuable than the pitch men are claiming.

Let's talk Voice. AI doesn't have a writer's voice, because it's literally taking individual sentences from 800 writers at a time. And it can't get voice. You don't sound more like Sir Terry Pratchett by making Death TALK IN ALL CAPS. You sound more like Sir Terry Pratchett by making Death honestly as merciless as real Death and yet a compassionate and even relatable character. There's no combination of tokens, short of recombining the tokens into the original texts they were taken from, thousand monkeys on typewriters style, that results in doing that.

I do want to give props to the mimicry for a second, though. If you start a conversation with Bob-bot as Roger, and you want the story to go a certain way, you can keep feeding in tokens to improve results, right? And there's a fairly natural way to do this: By writing an extra sentence after your own response. I shake my head and grip at my hair like I want to pull it out. "Sure, that sounds like a great idea. Why don't we eat the children while we're at it?" Bob-bot can tell I'm being sarcastic, and while he isn't sure of why he can tell that I'm royally pissed off at his suggestion.

Not only does that last line of extra "here's what my interlocutor knows" prompting help a lot with getting the conversation to avoid some of AI writing's natural pitfalls, but after 10-20 exchanges, I noticed that Bob-bot started copying my formatting. [What Bob-bot does] "What Bob-bot says!" [What Bob-bot intends, or how Bob-bot's action affects Roger emotionally]

I actually found that really cool! But. But!

Let's talk rerolls.

This kind of thing is more immediately visible in AI Art; Discussions of how "prompt writers" who fancy themselves AI Artists are simply unable to fix "their" work, because the problem with an AI-generated picture is usually that it has bad fundamentals on proportions, has like six light sources (because different pieces of the picture are copied from different works), and most of all because the current generative programs are bad at segmenting their resulting images by physical zone. Once they make something with sixteen pirates behind Superman, they don't remember where in the picture there are sixteen pirates, so if they put that in without you ever asking for any pirates (let alone sixteen) they don't know how to take pirates out of the picture, where some dude you hired off of Fiverr would just go, "Oops, yeah I included a layer from a different picture because I'm working on six commissions at once, let me delete that rq" and it'd be fixed. With the AI you're better off just running the program again, asking for a new (equally flawed but for different and hopefully less egregious reasons) picture of Superman.

But the same thing happens in the AI writing. I had a character named Ari and apparently a lot of other people had male characters named Ari, because the chatbot constantly misgendered her even though I established in the character bio that she's a girly, womanly, female, feminine DAAAAME. I also had a female goblin at one point, and the misgendering on that one I understand a bit better (though I found it deeply annoying) because the proportions of written genders of goblins are WAY less close to parity than the proportions of written genders of humans or elves. If you think of all goblins in all fiction this thing would be pulling from, it's gotta be like 90% or more that "goblin = male" right? Makes me wonder how often it'd misgender dwarves.

Further props to the program: Much like how my mom's phone at first would attempt to correct "lesbian" to "Lebanese" but soon learned that no, mom really did intend to write the word "lesbian," local-memory caching does start to fix this problem as it goes. You can edit the AI's response so that "As Ari rounds the bend, his breath catches at the scene before him" -> "As Ari rounds the bend, her breath catches at the scene before her" and each time you do that the misgendering gets less likely for future replies within the same story.

...But this is where we get into that bit, before, about the hidden costs. Between its inability to generate a consistent tone, its complete inability to carry a story without you providing multiple pages of background and worldbuilding design docs, and the editorial work you'll have to do cleaning up its replies and/or writing stage direction into your replies and/or flat-out rejecting something that feels completely tonally unacceptable or just plain ignores the situation AI: "I stab the ogres with my +9 ogre-slaying knife!" Me: "You're not THERE! You're at the CLUB!" there comes a point where you have to compare the value of how much work you put into this engine in order to get an output you're happy with not against infinite time, but rather...against the mighty story-generation engine known as A Page of Blank Paper.

I've found that for all but the most intentionally-rambly forms of writing, the latter has a lower time cost, fewer bad detours, and easier repair work between starting the production and getting to something I'm really happy with.

AI Text Generation is really impressive, and the things it does that impress will likely continue to get more impressive, but until it fundamentally changes how it seeks out its results, those impressive things won't solve the fact that it's inferior to simply writing well. And if you're not good at writing well, I have my doubts that you'll even catch the fact that there are sixteen pirates behind your Superman and your outputs are gonna be shit but you won't realize it. (Which I guess is an endorsement for AI Text Generation as a choose-your-own-adventure toy, if you're bad at writing?)

[askyourwritergrandma]

Hello!

How do I get over the feeling of my writing being cringe? Any tips?

Thank you.

Hello anon!

This is a difficult question to answer because most of the answer has to come from you. The first thing that you need to think about is why it feels "cringe". Do you feel like it's not as good as you want it to be? Not as good as the things you've read? It's silly, absurd or embarrassing (for writing style, or content)? Do you feel this way because it's how you see others react to their writing? Because you've seen, heard or participated in poking fun/laughing at 'bad writing'?

I do have some general suggestions about how to learn to love your writing, but in order to be able to embrace your work and move past the 'cringe' you need to figure out where that feeling is coming from.

Stop listening to people online - I've been writing since middle school and in that time (and it's been a time), I have met every sort of writer from the one claiming to have simply created perfection without effort to the nervous nelly type that cannot be parted from their fiction because it hasn't reached an imaginary perfection state. What I know after all of that, despite whatever someone tells you, nobody woke up one day with the ability to write. Nobody created a masterpiece without effort. They're selling you a fantasy to make themselves look good because they're exactly the same as the rest of us, they want it to be true and they want to be complimented and looked up to. Avoid the person who says they put no effort into their art, they're only after your admiration.

Avoid spaces that glorify self-doubt - It is 100% normal to need to vent about your writing. It is 100% normal to have doubts about. It's 100% normal to want to just complain about how it didn't turn out as well as you'd hoped. These are all good and normal things. However, there are internet places and people who endlessly bemoan their lack of skills, progress, or success. They'll say things like 'oh I'll never be as good as _____ no matter what I do'. But not once in a while when they're feeling discouraged, just all the time. Depression, self-recrimination and failure are their loudest traits. That atmosphere might feel cathartic at first but it will suck the soul right out of you. Vent when you need to, focus on motivation and progress. As silly as it sounds, putting yourself in positive spaces helps you stay positive.

Focus on Progress/Process not Product - I read a bit of advice that said when working with children you should always make sure to comment on their effort rather than the end result because it lets them know the hard work they're doing is what's important. It's not easy to apply in practice and it's not easy to apply to your own work, but if you're rereading your fiction and you start to feel 'cringe' about it, take a breath and find something you did better in this story than you did in the last one. Find something you want to do better at in your next story. Just one thing, just something as simple as "I want to add one more line of description with my dialogue". It's small, it's attainable and its a challenge.

Love your creation whole-heartedly - Look, the original bold title for this was going to be 'F*ck the world' but I'm trying to be a wholesome grandma type. I'm not sure if the source of cringe is content or style, but the vast majority of my early writing progress was attained through writing just so many mpreg stories. So many ridiculous, absurd, laughably silly mpreg stories. I love them intensely, and not because they're good (because they are not) or because they are literary masterpieces (because they are definitely not that) but because I wrote them. They were part of the process and I'm better for it now. I would post them now if someone asked, no shame and no embarrassment. Those stories are like a baby falling over when they're learning to walk. Its frustrating when you're the baby landing on your diaper time after time, but you do figure it out if you keep trying.

This last one is the hardest. When I was writing these stories, or any of those stories I wrote when I was very young, I didn't love them how I do now. I didn't think they were good. I shared them without sharing my doubts, I ate every piece of feedback I got. I cried over my friend's scathing review of my work. I started writing fanfiction and I was drowning in the feeling that I would fail. When I succeeded my ego soared but my skill level didn't. When I failed, I thought about giving up.

No matter where your writing aspirations take you, you will have to work to get there. You will have doubts, you will have worries, you will have setbacks. You will wonder if its worth it.

There is no one single answer to that. Is it worth it? It was for me, because I love writing and because writing makes me happy. Despite the hardships, despite the cringe, despite everything, I am happier when I'm writing.

Shut out all the voices and all the nonsense and concentrate on what matters. You, a blank page, and the story you want to tell.

I hope that helps, anon.

[presskmewleroux]

I'm just gonna rant because the ACOTAR fandom annoys the shit out of me and nothing is gonna change until SJM releases the next book and they stop being bored (although I bet they'll still be annoying because what they want to happen, won't ever happen)

I genuinely don't know if anti-cassian/nesta/nessian people didn't actually read the book or they went into it having seen other anti posts before so they went into it already having preconceived negative thoughts. Or they lack reading comprehension skills and can't understand the tone in which things are being said/done. Or they're just simply overly critical for no real reason other than the fact they had thoughts on how these books were supposed to go and are upset with SJM's direction, in which case I would say: ok then stop reading this story.

I genuinely don't think anything Cassian did or said was bad, especially in the way some people make it out to be. He said some hurtful things? Yes, sure. He also IMMEDIATELY apologized. Is that not healthy? He said things in anger, Nesta said things in anger. It is literally stated in these books how much she used words to hurt him, though it was to protect herself and push him away.

It's not like he punched her in the face and called her a waste of space, that everything would be better if she had died (bringing up Rowan and Aelin from TOG because I literally never see anyone hate on him after he did that the way I see people hate on Cassian for saying two (T W O) mean things to Nesta throughout the entire series.

"Oh but he didn't say or think that he loved her." This is how I KNOW they're not reading or are just being stupid on purpose. It is literally a literary technique to SHOW NOT TELL. I've said this before: it is better to end a scene with a kiss after one party's love confession rather than end it with the 2nd party verbally reciprocating. If you read all these ACOTAR books, you should know Cassian loves Nesta.

And don't bring that BS of "he only wants a mate." They all want mates! It's a blessing in their culture. He had suspected they were mates when they met while she was still human. Did he push it on her? No! It had been 2 years of them knowing/meeting each other before the events of ACOSF.

Don't even get me started on the people saying he's abusive lmao like WHAT!? Also saw someone say this and used Azriel as "proof" when he asked if someone pushed Nesta down the stairs, which was LITERALLY said with "amusement." Meaning Azriel was joking, he wasn't serious. This is why I don't think these people understand tonality and lack media literacy. This is 1 of the many examples of you not understanding the text, whether that be on purpose or just through not paying attention.

You can dislike the events of ACOSF, you can dislike how Nesta's problems were handled but that's just a matter of opinion because anybody who has dealt with a loved one's substance abuse will tell you one of two things: either you cut them out completely and let them destroy themselves because they need to want to help themselves; or you give them tough love and do whatever you can to get them through it because the alternative is letting them waste away and die. You can argue the logistics with Nesta's fae anatomy blah blah blah, everything she was doing was a way of self-harm. She wasn't drinking or screwing around because she was a party girl having fun. She was punishing herself and they all let it go on for almost a year, thinking she would snap out of it if they let nature take its course. So when that didn't happen, it was time for another plan.

I understand that there will be different interpretations to literature, but at this point it's beyond that. People are ignoring what is actually happening in these books and making unsupported claims that are just based on their own fantasies.

I've read everything SJM has written and there's not one character in ACOTAR (aside from the actual villains) that I dislike. Rhys, Feyre, Amren, Mor - I like them all. I couldn't care less that not everyone gets along all the time or sometimes someone was mean to someone else. Literally do not care that the Archeron sister's had beef. I am the youngest of 4 kids, I have 2 older sisters and an older brother. My older sisters H A T E D each other growing up. I don't know why some readers act like it doesn't happen or that their relationships with one another shouldn't be depicted the way they are. It's one of the most real things SJM has ever written lol. If you associate a character with someone in your personal life that has treated you poorly, well I'm sorry but that's exclusive to you and not something you can or should force on other readers. By the time the story ends, all the characters who were mean or nasty to each other are gonna be the best of friends. I would bet money on that. Watch Mor and Nesta become as close as Aelin and Lysandra did.

Now for Eris. Y'all can like him I guess, but there is literally no reason to support any of the headcannons being made for him. "He belongs with Nesta, he would treat her better." WHERE? Where did you come to that conclusion? Where was their chemistry I'm somehow missing??? Nesta was very clearly playing him the entire ball. It literally says she forces herself to swallow, to shiver. She's putting on a show for him like she was asked. Like the OP says, "Had he [Cassian] really believed what he’d seen on this dance floor?" Meaning her reactions/interactions with him were not R E A L. And the amount of people who think SJM will do ANOTHER Tamlin/Feyre/Rhys type of romance is crazy lol that would be BEYOND lazy writing and just plain boring. Also - have we just not been paying attention to Nesta's character at all? Eris was interested in her from a political/social standpoint...something Nesta has been groomed for her whole life. She doesn't want that! And lets talk about Beron abusing the lady of autumn. Helion says it continues but Beron knows to abuse her in places that are easily hid. Does Eris stop that? I've seen someone say he does defend his mother, but literally all signs point to NO since again, Helion acknowledges that the abuse has been ongoing. Does this seem familiar? Like how Thomas Mandray didn't defend his mother from his father's abuse? No necessarily saying Eris and Thomas are on the same level, especially since it's hinted Eris may not be as bad as he seems. But again, saying he's anything other than what we've been shown so far is literally just fanfiction headcannons you WANT to happen.

Also there's kind of a pattern with SJM books/character relationships: if there's like long drawn on explicit scenes between characters, that is usually the endgame. Celaena/Chaol had their one moment, barely anything explicit in that. Aelin/Rowan there's more spice. Tamlin/Feyre have a couple of scenes, again it's barely explicit and it's barely a paragraph. Can you imagine SJM disregarding everything in ACOSF and trying to convince people that relationship was a fluke and we must all become attached to a new ship? Never would happen lol.

Also may be isolating a lot of fans on either side with this take but the way people are so quick to believe him over Mor or believe he didn't do anything wrong and she's lying or fabricating the story seems really homophobic and misogynistic to me. I can understand SJM may have dropped the ball acknowledging Mor's sexuality/queerness and didn't do it in the best way but idk the hatred for her is so weird and forced to me. Also forcing the potential betrayal storyline on her. Like if I'm wrong in the future feel free to call me out on here but I don't see any of the IC or MAIN characters betraying anyone. If a betrayal is gonna happen it's gonna be with a secondary character. It may very well be Eris betraying Beron or him betraying the Night Court. Like I think y'all are giving SJM way too much credit with these plot twisty storylines lol.

Speaking of SJM's writing and y'all giving her too much credit: there's no way this series is killing off any main character, especially the ones that have been the focus of the series. Rhys, Feyre, Nesta, Cassian are safe and you can't convince me otherwise. Because unlike some, I've read TOG and I know the core characters are getting their happy endings. Also think the rest of the IC, Elain, Emerie, Gwyn and Azriel are safe because again: they're gonna get their happy endings. SJM is a happy ending writer. The TOG characters that were killed off were secondary and although they may have had big impacts on the overall story, they were just never main characters and you knew that. If any "main" character is gonna die it'll be Tamlin if he doesn't get a redemption (which I don't think he will because the story is just not about him anymore. It's more likely for him to die than get a redemption storyline, although you can argue that his redemption will be in his death.)

Speaking of Tamlin idk where the sudden surge of defenders of him came from. The way people hate on Cassian who didn't do anything wrong aside from say two somewhat hurtful sentences, but go to the mat for Tamlin is insane to me. You can like morally grey characters, you can like characters who have done bad things but it's the hypocrisy that gets me.

OK rant over. Agree or disagree, who cares lol this is literally just a rant if you're looking to pick a fight and argue back and forth over which one of us is right please look elsewhere

Anti Cassian focusing on sentences like "everyone hates you" or the damn "shackled" or the dance scene with Eris.

As if there was no after...

Yes Cassian said "everyone hates you" but the next day he said

“I didn’t mean what I said last night—about everyone hating you.” She halted, her blue-gray eyes frosting. “It’s true.”

“It’s not.” He dared one step closer. “You’re here because we don’t hate you.” He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted you to know that. That we don’t—that I don’t hate you.”

Shackled. But then this happens.

“No. I was angry—it’s not true.”

“You are my mate, Cassian,” she said against his lips, and kissed him softly. “And you’re mine,” he said, kissing her in turn.

She smiled, and damn if it wasn’t the loveliest thing he’d ever seen. “You.” “You’ve had me from the moment you met me.”

Nesta even admitted that she faked everything with Eris, the man that wasn't even able to be this interesting to distract her from the music.

Eris being interested in Nesta just for her power is red flag.

Nesta was more focused on the music than Eris. That's a fact.

Had he [Cassian] really believed what he’d seen on this dance floor?

Antis always the first to say "read between the lines" and they're blinded when it comes to Nessian.

Nesta with Cassian is just...

It softened some crucial piece of her...

His eyes did not, would not, leave her face.

Cassian smiled at her, and the world faded away. The music was no longer the most beautiful thing in existence. He was.

Antis "forgetting" those scenes, Nesta's own words, Nesta's own reaction -even if they claim her to be their favourite- and Nesta's feelings, just because they don't like Cassian.

It's poor.

It also means that being unable to take pieces without manipulating or decontextualizing them.

[for-dramas-sake]

The Starry Love ep 35, 36 thoughts

Did anyone suspect that Husui/Suzhi was going to kill 2 guards?And then the 2 couples just let it go? Even though she's been through some stuff in her past which made her this way, I don't trust her anymore. She's willing to do anything to protect the girls and while I'm for that she can present a risk.

The enemies are surrounding our couples. There are very few places they can escape to. It seems like they'll always be on the run, unless…

Ganging up on the weakest emperor? Cheap move, guys! Not cool.

Then the girls decide to go for the offensive! Ooh. Risky plan, but it's a change from all of the running they've been doing.

I sense a heavenly divorce is on the way after the empress marched into the Ninth Heaven Hall. And then everyone is telling the emperor,"stop, don't do this." Then to make things even more embarrassing, the Void Tyrant mocks him. "Can't keep your women in line?"

I think the Immortal emperor does care for his empress. He's just an asshole, too.

Reunion scene in the mortal realm was cute! Haichou got rejected! And then the boys can call the emperor "father-in-law"!

Woah. Mood change (but unsurprising nonetheless). The boys are captured, and the emperors decided to play it smart and take on the girls alone.

Not Qingkui! She was the best of them! She deserved better! Noooo!!

It IS a fantasy drama. Maybe she could come back? Please?

What an ending! The two guys are passed out from overworking themselves to save their beloveds. At least Yetan was saved by Youqin before he fell to the black sand.

When Yetan wakes up and is calling for her sister, my heart breaks. She just lost her friend and now her sister. The pain is too much. Both times she can't accept it because both girls were right there with her the whole time. Loss of a life is new and terrible. I hope, if just for Yetan's sake, no one else dies.

The Immortal emperor again on his high horse talking down to his son. We don't like him and after the "I wish you hadn't been revived just to fall in love with a mortal woman" line, we REALLY don't like him. And after he sealed Youqin's memory we are starting to hate him, aren't we?

The Immortal Turtle is back. For the record, I'm not excited about this. I like Youqin much better when he had emotions and was in lurv. This earlier version of Youqin is just fun to make fun of.

Void Queen comes to gloat, push Chaofeng around and destroy the necklace he gave Qingkui! He cries and so would I. You've got to hand it to the villains of this drama. They don't just give our favorite characters pain, but they love to relive that pain and make them suffer.

Hmmm. Yes, I see that you're trying to get power from a root using your blood. Would you to try a dose of sanity instead?! Yetan, don't just give into pure rage! And Suzhi, why did you put this ridiculous idea into a grieving girl's heart?

Yetan has joined the Void gang! While we all should take a moment to reflect that this is probably a bad idea, let's also admire Yetan's makeup and outfit. She looks good for the bad girl. She is rocking that black and purple.

Yetan has become the Void Devil she always wanted to be. Her power is immense and the way she walks into the Void Palace like a boss bitch and owns everyone is awesome. However, this comes with loss, friends and family dead and physical pain endured. No one could have predicted this outcome.

Yetan doesn't waste time. The throne isn't even cold yet and already she's claiming territory.

After the revenge taken and the throne of the Void Realm taken, what could be next for the Immortal Turtle and his devil girlfriend? Their reunion, at least for her, is going to be painful.

If you could stomach my outlandish in the moment thoughts, want to read some more? Previous episodes:

33, 34 / 31, 32 / 29,30 / 27,28 / 25,26 / 23, 24 / 21, 22 / 19, 20 / 17,18 / 15,16 / 13,14 / 11, 12 / 9, 10 / 7, 8 / 5, 6 / 3, 4 / 1, 2

[willel]

I’m a Byler shipper and I really appreciate that you understand how baited we feel even if you don’t care about the romantic ships. It is frustrating that other people claim we’re just delusional and that we had a “weird fantasy” that didn’t come true (two boys loving each other a weird fantasy, sounds homophobic). I tried to stay real, but them hyping it up and also just the way they emphasized on Will’s feelings for Mike all the time in the show made me think that maybe it could have turned out Mike felt somewhat the same. Of course, that didn’t happen. Even from a non-shipper perspective, it broke my heart to see Will like that. They didn’t need to write him in love with Mike to explore his sexuality, it was completely unnecessary, and even I who was rooting for him and Mike together would have preferred Will never loved Mike like that. It left a real bitter taste in my mouth. My question is: how do you think they’ll approach this in s5, if they will? Will he get a new love interest, will he still be hung up on Mike, will he have moved on completely? Will he actually confess to Mike? They kind of left it open because Mike doesn’t know, but also Will seemed to understand he had to move on. I would really love for him to just accept who he is, without them introducing another love interest that we wouldn’t care about. I want Will to focus on himself, his family and his friends, while dealing with all the supernatural mess that’ll happen next season.

For one, I predicted this exact situation right before season 4 dropped in May. VVV

As I explained in the post, I've been through all this before. I've been through the writers and advertisers using my ship to keep people engaged up until the very last minute.

I must also say though, what happened in Stranger Things, in my opinion, is NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD. I know at least one friend who might read this post (👀). We both know what ship/series I'm talking about and maybe they'll disagree with me, but I don't think it was that bad compared to THAT series.

It's not the end of the series for one, we still have a season left. But also, Will's feelings were not invalidated or brushed aside by the writing team. They also didn't leave him hopeless and bitter. Compared to how my ship ended up, (clearly requited love to unrequited love to "actually it was never love just a crush" to "actually it was never a crush just confusion" to "actually this other person was my first and only love all along lol" to "actually I was never even friends with that other person just friendly"), this is not bad in the slightest for Will.

He does/did love Mike and they really showed that without question. Even if he gets a new love interest or something, they still made it abundantly clear that Mike was his first love. Thank goodness for that.

The entire situation focused around Will's feelings, his character, his growth, all of it. Technically, that's exactly what I wanted. I guess because I'm not a shipper, Mike's role in this was inconsequential to me, I almost exclusively cared about Will's role in all this and what this meant for him.

But I am still very upset with how MARKETING pitched this. It was a TERRIBLE idea to pitch this as "Byler". It was not about Byler, it was clearly about Will. That is how all of these scenes are written. We have no idea what Mike is thinking or feeling towards Will, it's about what Will is feeling towards Mike. It's about Will's character, not about the ship.

By setting peoples expectations for these moments to be about a ship, they almost completely ruined the framing of these moments for so so many fans.

Not only that, they went out of their way to frame the actual ship (Mileven) in a bad light from what I saw. I do not actually follow marketing that closely, especially if it's about ships. But I'm pretty sure I saw screenshots of them implying the other ship was toxic or not true love or that love at first sight wasn't real and all that jazz.

If you're a non-shipper like me, surely you must see how they lead people along. Marketing should have never done that. If they wanted to tease about Will's plot line, they should've found a different way.

Like, I know fans will make a mountain out of a molehill sometimes, and some fans definitely did. But it is not entirely their fault, they were strung along.

As for how they will approach this moving into season 5, sadly we might not get as much detail as we might've if they were going right into season 5 as they originally planned. There's gonna be a time skip, I saw casting calls going around for 1988 and no later. That's 2 years later. They'll be 17 year old juniors.

My predictions right now is that Will might have some lingering feelings still, but, in his words, he's "ripped off the bandaid" and tried to let go.

What this season said to me is that Will does not feel "safe" with Mike. Until he and Jonathan had that speech in the kitchen, Will did not feel safe with anyone. Jonathan is the only one that knows, Jonathan is the only one he would willingly tell.

Even if Mike found out later he was gay, I still don't think Will would willingly tell Mike any of his feelings ever. Will wants to be his best friend (and more) and will ask for nothing more.

If Mike is gonna find out, it's gonna be because Mike puts together the pieces himself. Even if Mike finds out and confronts Will about it, I just have this feeling Will would never admit it ("No I don't", Will says as he's obviously sobbing)

I don't really know what the future holds. But I wrote in a post a while ago that what I want is for someone to be pinning after Will this time, and not a girl. Will has had about 3 girls pinning after him (and that is hilarious). So... what will happen if this time it's a guy? 👀 I think that is what Will needs most. Someone who is begging to be in his company and not the other way around for once.

I can imagine Will being so confused by that kind of attention too. It's kinda adorable.

BUT ANYWAY, yeah. I have no idea what the future holds. I really hate what the marketing team did leading people astray, but I don't dislike the scenes that we got for Will. I love them actually. If you're a Mike/Byler fan though, it probably sucks a lot, ESPECIALLY if you believed what marketing put out there.

I know people don't want a brand new character introduced just to be Will's love interest, but I don't think that's too much of a problem. I just wish they didn't do it so late. Bob, Suzie, Vickie, and even Robin herself originally were all introduced to be a love interest for one of the existing cast. As you can see, at least 3 of those people were originally introduced for a straight ship (before they convinced the writers to make Robin gay)

So no, I actually wouldn't be upset if they craft a special characters specifically for Will just like what the straight ships got. Will would not be getting different or special treatment. We've never even seen Suzie and Dustin in an actual scene together so Will would already be in a slightly better position.

I don't know what this means for Will and Mike or their friendship. I still feel like... I don't know. There still needs to be SOME closure. Mike doesn't know shit and it's bothersome. I think Will might start distancing himself for real this time and maybe Mike will finally notice something.

Maybe El will notice and kick Mike into gear? I don't know what they're doing with his character really and I don't know if it can be fixed.

I guess we shall see.

Just in case I need to say this for anyone who is reading and got really really mad, just don't. I don't ship these ships. I don't read essays about these ships. I don't read the fics or anything, these are literally just my brain thoughts thinking things. I don't get in ship wars and I talk about these ships every blue moon. I don't mean any harm to you or your ship and I think regardless of if it's canon or not, you should still ship your ship and screw what anyone else thinks. It's your ship. You set the rules. All you need is fanfiction and fanart to live for decades to come. Trust me, I know.

[trixcuomo]

The Sig Nicious Affair

((Next on Desperate Alt's Lives... Rustic Night Elf Sharpen tries to fix Trixany. Ho boy.))

Trixany: I didn't mean for me losing my Kaja-Cola Girl status to come out this way. What am I gonna do now? I've just been... trying to stay calm and quiet, until the Daily Mail Org drops its final bomb on me by announcing everything to the whole of Azeroth, like one big, giant ker-splosion, my whole life up in flames. And trust me, I did not handle it well, back at HQ. There's bound to be footage. I'm sure my press-on nails are still in President Glim Poprock's grimy little green butt-cheek.

Sharpen: That sounds like a creative injury to get in a Goblin-style corporate office brawl.

Trixany: *smiles slightly* It was one of my better ones. Ugh, now I'm finally done. I don't know where to turn... Usually, I just grab another scandal to stuff the bad news down under something new. But a lot of people have quietly withdrawn their contracts, stopped associating with me. Sharpen... I think. I think I'm socially dead? I mean, it's not a real kind of dead. But. *winces, clutches the front of her shirt over her heart* It still hurts, kinda? *sobs, her little elf voice squeaking* Oh gods, my social life dying is giving me actual, physical pain. How pointless have I become??

Sharpen: *sadly sips his coffee while Trixany gives over to dramatic Blood Elf-style crying* Yeah... We need to get you re-connected.

Trixany: I know! Why don't you lend me one of your used BOY TOYS, Sharpen!

Sharpen: Not Haris Pilton right now. I'm really not.

Trixany: Sorry, when I'm in pain like this I just see her everywhere, in everyone. *spirals back into wild crying* Oh gods, I just insulted my poor, poor Sharpy. He's just a hopeless himbo, it's not his fault.

Sharpen: *sighs at her* Hold on. Hrm. Well, that's not too far off of an idea, you know. *he sits up* Why don't I come up with a way to get you involved with someone that'll knock your rivals' teeth out? Then, they'll have to re-connect with you. That's how it works, correct?

Trixany: You're practically a lumberjack, Sharpen. I don't want to date some she-bear you passed over the last time you visited the watering hole. Not even a cute he-bear. *tears up once more* And bears are so fuzzy and sweet with their big brown eyes. What is wrong with me? Why am I insulting bears now? Ugh...

Sharpen: Yeah, you're bitter. Give me a day or two, then we'll talk again. I'll figure a way to get you hooked up and clear out of your slump for sure. And then you can stop trash-talking everything that breathes.

Trixany: Oh, Sharpen. I don't know, maybe you shouldn't bother. Maybe... Maybe my friends, and Sunthraze of all people, and even Lady Liadrin are right. I admit that it's just possible this vapid lifestyle of mine has come for me in the end. Me chasing something that isn't even real--what is celebrity anyway? What existential pain am I trying to ameliorate by pursuing a fantasy life that could never, ever sate me, fill up my soul, precisely because it is so false? I am a Blood Knight. I serve the Light, an all-loving, humble, selfless power. But I have been so heartless, haven't I? I've only made myself into a walking contradiction at long last. *looks away, dramatic* Oh, don't cry for me! I will repent. I will go now to Light's Hope Chapel and finally make good. What a reckless ride it has been. What scars I've rightfully earned. Good bye, Trixany Cuomo. Me and my stage name had some great times together, but now I know the truth. I shall never again see thee--

Sharpen: Two words. Sig. Nicious.

Trixany: Shut-up.

Sharpen: But that's the good kind of 'shut up' right?

Trixany: I could never, ever date Sig. Not even get near him. You think I haven't low-key tried before? Nobody dates Sig. I mean, he's available, he does date people, but he's the ultimate mysterious band guitarist. Listen, not even Haris ever bagged him. He's far too careful about who he spends his time with. You're talking about catching a tiger in a soda bottle, socially. And, you're in the Alliance, how could you even manage it? Sharpen, you're crazy! Why don't you just let me go and be normal at long last? I'm sure there are lots of people out there who want that. They're unfollowing me right now. That's what social death is, Sharpen. I should go with it, being normal. Give in. *winces* It'll be fine. Tomorrow, I'll blog about how well I enjoy the cherry grog at the Tail and then complain about the price of spikes on the Orgrimmar auction house or something, like every loyal Hordie. Nice, predictable.

Sharpen: Excuse me, my lady. But did you forget that -you- are Trixany Cuomo, and I am an expert hunter? We just need to set Sig Nicious a good enough trap. Let's see...

Trixany: I can't believe some nature-loving Night Elf is about to give me socialite advice. Sharpen, let's quit while we're ahead. Or far, far behind. My whole career may as well be beneath Deepholm.

Sharpen: I know. *snaps fingers* Start a rumor that you're already dating Sig.

Trixany: And then I get sued.

Sharpen: No. Then you hold a press conference with the Org Daily Mail or something to allay the rumors. Throw water on the fire you started. Claim that you're flattered, but then graciously say you've 'honestly never even considered it before, though he does seem nice.'

Trixany: I don't understand. I'm... turning Sig Nicious down before I even meet him?

Sharpen: No, you're not following me. Trixany, he'll rise to the challenge. Come on, trust a man's perspective. A man who's an adventurer like me? Sig's bound to be a thrill-seeker, he's in a rock band. And if it works out, the two of you will be perfect--he performs, so do you. You both live in the spotlight. All the glamorous do's, the nice three-piece suits. We could match. And he has great hair. You know, the height difference isn't so bad either.

Trixany: What height difference, I mean it's not too drastic. We're both Blood Elves? Oh, I see. *eyes him* Look, you need an off-switch for your libido, Sharpen. It was fun when you and I first met, but now you're ruining it.

Sharpen: Right--heh, sorry.

Trixany: But what if he's already dating someone that the world doesn't know about? What if he's not interested?

Sharpen: Trixany. Don't tell me you'd want a guy who isn't interested in you. That's a moot point. But it -will- stick in his craw and if there's any chance you two are genuinely compatible, then it'll be in his nature too. Sig will go for the bait. And what guy wants to be called 'nice'?

Trixany: Well, some guys are just... you know, nice. *green eyes look up, thinking about this* Oh.

Sharpen: Like I said, he'll attempt to prove you wrong.

Trixany: *leans in* This is sinister. This isn't... something I'd expect someone in the Alliance to come up with.

Sharpen: *points, knowingly* And that's why you all lost the Southern Barrens.

Trixany: Damn. Touché.

((oooh this is getting crazy, I'm so excited! LOL))

[doublelp]

This is a jumping off point for me to talk about this odd internet fandom that developed in like 2020-2021 and went down in flames. I basically watched the whole thing go down from the sidelines and have no skin in the game. It's pretty funny imo.

So Morgan Smith was a fairly young (late teens/early twenties) musical creative who had some momentum after the success of their last amateur musical Oceanborn. In a fairly ambitious move, they decided their next project would be not just a musical, but an entire media franchise. It would be a boring fantasy universe that includes cryptids, witches, queerness, all kinds of stuff that young gen z fandom nerds would eat up. It also felt vaugly inspired by harry potter, to the point that it was practically a way to advertise itself as an "alternative".

Anyway, Smith recruited a few creative-types including songwriter Sushi Soucy to help with musicals. To my knowledge, no actual musicals were made, but there were soundtracks and plot summaries and i think a webcomic that was passed off as a graphic novel. They also advertised an epic poem as part of the franchise but it's all lukewarm at best. The fandom was called Averno and it was way more style than substance. As a marketing machine, it seemed fairly effective at cultivating it's niche online audience, though my assessment is that it was too messy for any mainstream appeal. It did spawn a few articles and interviews so clearly it gained some traction, but not enough to put off any productions.

So the fandom was developing slowly, primarily over discord, and I lurked a lot to see how the hell everything would pan out. Lots of promo (including an ARG), but barely anything to show for it. Granted, there were studio recordings of the show tunes, but no show. Before any big moves could be made (I assume covid prevented things from happening), the shoe dropped on Smith. A big google document called Exverno detailed all of the wrongdoings. It was the callout post to rival all callout posts.

The extent of Smith's behavior amounts to 1. Not paying Averno creatives appropriately, à la Greg Ginn's SST accounting, and 2. Grooming, mostly in the form of "can't wait until you turn 18!" You can probably find the Exverno document for yourself, it's gotta be floating around the internet. It's pretty long. The reaction from both employed creatives and fandom was complete ostracism for Smith and their partner. The discord went through a meltdown before rebranding into a generic and shallow cryptid/fantasy community or something. I didn't stick around. Due to the community being prone to exaggeration (likely from limited life experiences and theater kid energy), a lot will claim that Averno was a cult and Smith was a cult leader. I don't doubt that Smith's actions were shitty but I cannot stress enough that this was a far cry from Heaven's Gate. It was a dumb fandom that revolved around the idea of it's media rather than the media itself. Highly impressionable young people got swindled, basically.

I believe the key takeaway is that young creatives should not bite off more than they can chew. Obviously Morgan Smith was too inexperienced to properly manage a fandom while also developing an entire franchise. I read the words "Like the Marvel Universe but for musicals" more than once, which kind of tells you everything that you need to know. Shoot for the stars I suppose.

Smith's epilogue is that they've laid low and continued theirs studies at NYU, I'm assuming for drama or something like that. I don't see them becoming a big public figure again anytime soon for their own personal projects, but I'd bet they'll make pathways for themselves in broadway.

Sushi Soucy's epilogue involves moving on to another mediocre music for fandom kids to eat up. A cursory look at his instagram reveals that they've done ANOTHER google doc callout post for a seperate person that I do not know or care to know. Time really is a flat circle.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: what are you actually doing Ronnie: having an orgy Ronnie: ain't you gutted you didn't stay Joe: was before Joe: however appealing or un that is Ronnie: cry to some other cunt Ronnie: I told you not to go Joe: I ain't interested in no other cunt, that's what I just said Joe: I had to, didn't I Ronnie: don't be a pussy Ronnie: you ain't gotta be a mummy's boy all your life Joe: it's christmas Joe: that's what has to be done Ronnie: and what? family's for life Ronnie: tell that to your ma Joe: you should've come Joe: it's a mess, you'd have had fun Ronnie: I don't do babies Ronnie: and I weren't invited Joe: me either Joe: and you are Joe: come now Ronnie: whoever the fuck your ma wants me to be ain't who I am Ronnie: try telling her the truth and see if I'm still given a seat Joe: you don't need to be anyone for her Ronnie: swallow your own bullshit sayings first Joe: alright so it's stupid Joe: but I need you here Ronnie: you can't have me there Joe: for fuck sake Ronnie: you want me or you wanna be her golden boy Joe: you know exactly which I want Ronnie: you think you know but one look at my tracks and fun's over baby Joe: I can have you and drugs Joe: that ain't mutually exclusive Joe: never has been Ronnie: you can't have fuck all around your family Ronnie: a uni degree and a 9-5 is your lot babe Joe: they'd not even notice Joe: baby central, yeah Ronnie: they'd notice me Joe: we could find out Ronnie: don't Joe: alright Joe: fine Ronnie: it's not all about you Ronnie: selfish prick Joe: I know you don't wanna be here Ronnie: then don't fucking ask me Joe: I know what I am Ronnie: you know who I am Ronnie: you're wasting your own time Joe: yeah Joe: and you know I don't care Ronnie: that's why you're there pissing away the day, yeah? Joe: what do you suggest? Joe: taken every pharmaceutical I could get into the country Ronnie: leave the country Ronnie: grow a fucking pair mckenna Joe: on xmas day yeah Joe: called a fantasy play the game Ronnie: you want me to show up Ronnie: why the fuck can't you? Joe: selfish prick Ronnie: I don't pretend to be anything else Joe: no, me Ronnie: it comes out of your mouth so easy for me Ronnie: just tell 'em Joe: tell 'em what Joe: I don't wanna see you no more Joe: bye Ronnie: any of the ugly truth will make her not wanna see you no more Ronnie: it don't take much Ronnie: pushed me out of her and right away, like Joe: that wasn't about you, was it Joe: selfish runs in the genes Ronnie: not deep enough when it comes to you Ronnie: you're fucking soft mckenna Ronnie: that your da's fault, yeah? Joe: yeah, you should be the favourite, we both know it but ain't gonna wish it on you Ronnie: nah she should've swallowed or got scraped Ronnie: did the next best though Joe: you want me to say lucky you so you can hate me for being privileged and ignorant Joe: I'll do it for you Ronnie: such a people pleaser Joe: you know it Ronnie: call me when you're ready to shatter your wine glass and put the pieces in your mouth Joe: you dare me? Ronnie: I'm not playing games here Joe: come on Joe: get your paper hat on Ronnie: you want me to get on some old bloke's knee too or is that where the fantasy ends? Joe: not got any grandparents Joe: sorry Ronnie: shame Joe: isn't it just Ronnie: but we don't have to let it die 'cause you're a letdown Ronnie: I know loads of old men Ronnie: some of 'em have gotta still be alive Joe: 🤞 the holiday blues haven't claimed them Ronnie: yeah 'cause you wanna be special Joe: but I am Joe: if I cared about it I'd say no old cunts Ronnie: I'll lick your brains off the wall when you pull the trigger baby, how's that? Joe: Better than Courtney, babe Ronnie: the bar ain't high then Joe: she might've pulled the trigger Joe: don't you want that? Ronnie: you know what I want Joe: you know what I can't give you today Ronnie: yeah and I know that's your fucking fault Joe: didn't ask for jesus to be born Joe: or for me to into this family Ronnie: stop having a tantrum and come back Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: today Joe: didn't drive Joe: what flight am i getting on christmas Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: I can't hack it Ronnie: drop a baby they'll kick you out faster than you can say merry christmas Ronnie: especially if it's one of your brother's Ronnie: gonna have limited brain cells as it is Joe: 😂 Joe: that would require picking one up and nah Joe: nope Ronnie: you've touched worse Joe: I don't know Joe: it's weird Joe: fucked Ronnie: they're just little bags of meat and bone Ronnie: get a fucking grip Joe: says you Joe: you ain't here Ronnie: for me it ain't about nothing but resisting the urge to shake 'em and how I don't reckon I've got that in me Ronnie: one of many negative impulses I fight or don't on the daily like Joe: like you said, be a kindness really Joe: they're all just pretending it's a good thing when it clearly ain't Joe: not got the energy Ronnie: jail ain't gonna be that for me Ronnie: and like I also said you ain't the only selfish prick that bitch spawned Ronnie: they don't know a good thing they ain't tried it Ronnie: shoot 'em up it'll be a decent christmas for everyone Joe: you've not got room for the gang tats Joe: I get it Joe: oddly enough I've not got 💉 on my prescription Ronnie: baby I'm nobody's bitch but 💉 Ronnie: and we're exclusive 💍 Joe: you wish Joe: making do every other time Ronnie: don't fucking remind me Joe: miss those student loans Ronnie: I'm gonna miss being a christmas temp Joe: not just for the lap sitting priviledges Joe: yeah Ronnie: knew you were into it Joe: just miss you Ronnie: don't say shit like that Joe: whatever Ronnie: I mean it, it hurts Joe: I'm sorry Joe: if I could go back and not find you Joe: I know I should Joe: I wouldn't but established Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah Joe: I know Ronnie: nah you fucking don't Joe: you reckon Ronnie: I said it Ronnie: you're the cunt saying shit you don't mean Joe: no I'm not Joe: just 'cos you don't need to hear it don't mean it ain't real Joe: it is, that's the issue yeah Ronnie: tell it to your ma Ronnie: well full of it Joe: why would I Joe: not trying to convince you of anything here Joe: it is what it is Joe: however fucked Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: yeah love you and all Ronnie: if you did you wouldn't have left Joe: ever Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna none of you lot are Joe: who's trying to be funny Joe: what do you want from me Ronnie: you're a fucking joke either way babe Joe: make up your mind Joe: glad I amuse you now, apparently Joe: one of us should be having a good time Ronnie: laugh or cry, yeah? Joe: goes something like that Joe: could go full newborn and do a puke shit cry combo Joe: why not Ronnie: if you're rattling hard enough, anything's possible Joe: getting by Joe: making do is never the same as previously lamented but not gonna start convulsing in my plate Ronnie: shame Joe: 💘 Joe: dunno how you reckon on me ruining christmas Joe: sister just became a teen mum Ronnie: it's an od or a run out take your pick baby Ronnie: both have worked for me Ronnie: you say that like its not a badge of honor who wouldnt wanna follow in your ma's footsteps, like Ronnie: if she starts dealing too give her my number Joe: ha, I forgot to tell you Joe: there's one here already Ronnie: if you wanted me there you should have led with that Joe: I know right Joe: no one tells me anything Joe: you'd like him Joe: purely 'cos she hates him Ronnie: you don't tell me anything Ronnie: too late to ruin christmas now Joe: I know you'd be here if you wanted that more than you don't wanna be here Joe: but don't worry, atmosphere is awkward enough regardless Ronnie: could still show up for your brother's big birthday Ronnie: freckles is a no go but he's old enough now to be on the table Ronnie: work my way through by new years, yeah? Joe: hilarious, babe Ronnie: not joking babe Ronnie: fucking the dealer won't make enough of a splash Joe: you do know they know you're related, yeah Joe: even if he weren't gay Ronnie: didn't stop you Ronnie: and being a massive homo ain't ever stopped Charlie Joe: we all do trauma different don't we Ronnie: if you want some therapy for christmas we can roleplay that shit Joe: why would i settle for that when i've got drugs and you Ronnie: saying that ain't gonna make me not hate you Joe: good Joe: hate me Joe: don't be an idiot like everyone else Ronnie: baby brain ain't gonna be a thing over here Ronnie: 💔 Joe: my deepest sympathies Joe: can't say I'm sharing in your 💔 though Ronnie: when have I ever used an emoji meaningfully Ronnie: not a fucking kid Joe: damn Joe: I really thought you meant those 😍 Joe: 💔 Ronnie: fuck off Joe: 😂 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: count how many glasses you've had Joe: is that an OCD joke Joe: you're on 🔥 today girl Ronnie: you wish no lighters at the table baby Joe: Charlie really sticking to those rules hard Joe: how are you gonna light the pudding? Ronnie: afters ain't like that round here Ronnie: 💉💊🚬 Joe: it's minging Ronnie: you love it then, all the pain, like Joe: don't reckon we've actually got one either Joe: how passive-aggressive of them Ronnie: ma keeps bringing the disappointments, yeah? Ronnie: reckon your brother's golden boy now he's sprogged up Joe: I wish Joe: marginally less of a disgrace than Ali Joe: but still Ronnie: your sister is gifting those flashbacks for christmas Joe: Truly Joe: poor kid Ronnie: she should've picked a white lad Ronnie: calm your ma right down Joe: maybe next time Joe: 2nd time's a charm, eh Ronnie: yeah Joe: have you ever been knocked up Ronnie: could probably have got a freebie down the clinic how often I've been down to get rid Ronnie: none of 'em were yours though you can relax Joe: god bless the nhs Ronnie: you ever knocked anyone up? Joe: not to abortion stage Joe: just had to get plan b Joe: as far as I know, anyway Ronnie: cute Joe: thanks 💕 Joe: ours wouldn't be so thank fuck Ronnie: that kinda shit passes for a date for us scousers 💋 Ronnie: you don't want a kid with gills or two heads? Joe: hot Joe: least you could see what was up with it Joe: but 👶💀 Ronnie: can't and won't happen Ronnie: you'd have to fuck your fertile sister Joe: we can pretend that's why I like you Ronnie: you like me 'cause I'll always find a vein for you Ronnie: what else is there Joe: what ain't there Ronnie: 👶🍼 Joe: exactly Joe: one of the main things I look for Ronnie: are you on one knee right now or what? Joe: get you a rock worth having Joe: how's that for a proposal Ronnie: I don't trust it but I'll take it Joe: why not Joe: got that christmas cash Joe: not gonna waste it Ronnie: why would you wanna share with me, selfish prick from your own mouth, like Joe: 'cos getting high together is better Joe: deny it Ronnie: you know I can't Joe: gonna be a white christmas Joe: no need to trust just see Ronnie: when Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: don't fucking lie Joe: I ain't Ronnie: swear Ronnie: swear they ain't gonna guilt you into staying Joe: swear Joe: they ain't gonna even try Ronnie: make sure they let you on that flight Joe: 'course Joe: I'm totally legally medicated rn Ronnie: you're also a pussy Ronnie: bet all the younger siblings have drunk you under the table Joe: you're not wrong that lots of them pride themselves in their light alcoholism Ronnie: whatever gets 'em through the day, yeah? Joe: can't judge really Joe: not with a 💉 sticking out my arm Ronnie: that's tomorrow Ronnie: today anything goes baby Joe: I'll be the one to dish out the home truths Joe: that'd be unexpected Ronnie: someone's gotta your ma will be too busy trying to chuck the babies out Joe: playing hostess with the mostest 'cos can't keep playing the boy when she's got two kids here knocked up Joe: his ma is well smug 😂 Joe: *blaming Ronnie: one of us is having fun then Joe: take the small victories, ms cavante Ronnie: if she's not gonna kick your ma in the tits it'll have to do Joe: wish on a 🌠 baby Ronnie: I've got bad luck or no luck baby Ronnie: that shit don't work Joe: you won't care come tomorrow Ronnie: I don't care now Joe: see? Joe: lucky Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: seriously Joe: my head is Ronnie: I know Ronnie: mine screams too but I go louder Joe: I can't do anything in here Joe: need to go outside and none of those other bastards better take their 🚬 break 'til I'm done Ronnie: if you didn't give so much of a fuck you could do anything Ronnie: that's why I can't show up to your family christmas, you ain't ready mckenna Joe: just shut up alright Joe: let me fucking think Ronnie: you ain't keith richards how many more years of me do you need to stop having such a limp dick Ronnie: every junkie is on borrowed time Joe: you really thought you were gonna fix me Joe: come on now Joe: you're better than that Ronnie: I'm not better than anything Ronnie: lowest of the low baby Joe: then what Ronnie: you want answers from me? you're better than that Joe: no Joe: what the fuck are you doing Joe: you're the one wasting your borrowed time Ronnie: what, you're the only cunt who gets to hide from family christmas? Ronnie: I'm sick and they're sick of me Joe: I don't mean just today and you know it Ronnie: I don't give a fuck what you mean and you know it Joe: it's been years Ronnie: you want out, get out Joe: I don't Joe: but I'm the one with the limp dick Ronnie: yeah Joe: that's what I thought Ronnie: you think too much babe Joe: no shit Joe: don't wanna play therapy, thanks Ronnie: what do you wanna play then? Joe: you're sick, I'm sick Ronnie: no game Ronnie: it's how shit is Joe: fun never stops, babe Ronnie: if your idea of fun is making me wanna top myself, soft lad Joe: you can't Joe: you've gotta lick it up after Ronnie: can't I? race yous Joe: wait 'til I'm there Joe: don't ruin their day any more Ronnie: I'm already waiting for you to decide you wanna come back and be scum of the fucking earth with me again Joe: it ain't a choice to be made or not Joe: it's how shit is Ronnie: you made loads of choices to get there Ronnie: plane rides to dublin don't just happen Joe: basically Ronnie: pathetic Joe: yeah Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: don't agree with me Joe: disagreeing ain't gonna change that I'm here now Ronnie: you don't wanna change it Ronnie: you love it Joe: yep Joe: big time Joe: fucking hell Ronnie: you've got such a misery hard on, you shouldn't be near kids Joe: why don't you hit them up Joe: let them know Ronnie: you're the only cunt with their mummy on speed dial Joe: alright well I ain't up for telling everyone I'm a predator Ronnie: do you wanna fuck her too or what? Joe: do you? Ronnie: nah Ronnie: why I don't come running every time someone in your family blows their nose or whatever the fuck Joe: me either Joe: it's christmas fucking day Joe: how many times Ronnie: like this is the first and only time Ronnie: but I'm crazy, yeah Joe: you are Joe: you're nuts Ronnie: don't forget it Ronnie: I'll be crazier by tomorrow Joe: promises promises Ronnie: I promise I'll ruin your fucking life, prick Joe: oh honey Joe: that's not a brag Joe: not hard is it Ronnie: you ain't talking to fitz baby I don't brag Joe: you can't Ronnie: you think you can tell me what I can and can't do Joe: don't take it personal Joe: try it Ronnie: don't take it personal when I kick the shit out of you mckenna Joe: how can I not when I love it so much Joe: think on Ronnie: 'cause I still love you 😍💋💘 Joe: s'alright baby, the way I wanna go out Joe: 💀💀💀 Ronnie: call me when you've stopped pleasuring your ma, I'll make it happen for you Joe: so understanding all of a sudden Joe: who's got your phone Ronnie: fuck off Joe: there she is Ronnie: what now you miss me? Ronnie: running late there baby Joe: I already told you I did Joe: you said I weren't allowed no more Ronnie: I said don't tell me Ronnie: I can't handle hearing it if it don't change a fucking thing Joe: alright Joe: but it changes a fucking lot Joe: you know Joe: not just for you Joe: I promise I'm really fucked from it Ronnie: yeah? Ronnie: so stop fucking around and come back to me Ronnie: first chance you get Ronnie: 'cause it's shit Joe: I know, I really know Joe: you've got no reason to believe me but you will see me tomorrow Joe: regardless of what any of them have gotta say on it Joe: never wanted to be here so not prolonging it Ronnie: I wanna believe you Ronnie: don't fuck me over twat Joe: I won't Joe: fuck myself over too Joe: time to start being fully selfish prick, yeah Joe: there's enough going on now, don't need me Ronnie: tell the truth that you're threatened by the off their tits 18 year olds that birthday boy will be surrounded by Ronnie: got more game than you Joe: yeah Joe: not the one chatting about fucking the barely legals Joe: but sure Ronnie: you would if they'd give you the time of day mckenna Ronnie: come on Ronnie: one day in dublin turned you into an old dried up nun? Joe: I dunno, I've not scoped out the guestlist that hard Joe: unlike my brother, girls I've known since they were kids don't do it for me, what can I say? Ronnie: blood relatives only like Joe: only when they're you Ronnie: such a lost fucking cause Joe: don't worry, was before you Joe: not gotta add that to the tally Ronnie: our safe word can be trauma bonding Ronnie: loads in common Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're alright Joe: when you're not a total raging bitch Ronnie: never then Ronnie: what am I when I'm a raging bitch? Joe: for me Ronnie: you sure you don't wanna party with the homos babe? that was proper gay Joe: fuck off Ronnie: write me a symphony next, yeah? Joe: and I'm the gay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: don't get an attitude 'cause I've fucked more lasses than you Joe: still time Joe: not as old as you Ronnie: you wanna make it to that age or what? careful how you talk to me Joe: wow, just like having a nan Joe: cheers babe Ronnie: fuck you Joe: 💘 Ronnie: we all know if you had a nan you'd wanna fuck her too Ronnie: step outside the family baby you might enjoy yourself Joe: doubt it Joe: do have one technically but she ain't all that Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you need the scouse accent to get it up, yeah? Joe: you or the beatles ain't it Ronnie: that was mildly funny calm down Joe: steady on Joe: might think you like me Ronnie: won't last Ronnie: due a mood swing in like 2 seconds Joe: s'alright Joe: all 23 of you love me Ronnie: 😂😍 here 'course Joe: yeah, never trusting your emojis again Joe: need photographic evidence, like Ronnie: [sends it cos that bitch but imagine her actual grumpy cat face bye] Ronnie: in proper stitches, alright Joe: should play poker pro Joe: you're too cute though, never believe that face is 21 or over Ronnie: call me cute again and I'll carve it into your chest Ronnie: capital letters Joe: [sends voice memo] Ronnie: I proper fucking hate you Joe: you knew I'd wanna so you clearly want to as well Joe: don't blame me you sadist Ronnie: you know what I want mckenna Ronnie: we ain't got a secret santa going Joe: take these socks back Ronnie: you'll wanna keep 'em for your misery boner babe Joe: you've not got me an escort then Joe: gutting Ronnie: crazy, remember? you could fuck her but I'd have to kill her Joe: alright, I'll keep your charges at manslaughter level Joe: for you Ronnie: 💋 Joe: when do you next have a shift or are you done fully now Ronnie: tomorrow but that ain't happening if you've meant a word you said Joe: I'll make it worth it Ronnie: not hard to beat out retail when there's sales on Ronnie: wouldn't have gone if you were here or not Joe: don't tell me that Joe: I was talking 💸 not the #experience Ronnie: you wanna be my daddy too now? these roleplays are getting hard to keep count of Joe: again, thinking how much gear I'm gonna get but you can pout about it if you wanna Joe: already earned the scars so I don't mind saying it again Ronnie: rain man ain't a fantasy, gutted for you, like Ronnie: doing my best here Joe: you do it well Joe: smarter than everyone I know Ronnie: the princess will be gutted Joe: you don't have to tell her, like Joe: but not too fussed Ronnie: no secrets among scumbags baby Ronnie: even if she reckons she's levelled up Joe: you don't? Ronnie: anyone can drop a sprog Ronnie: trap a lad Ronnie: didn't saint your ma, did it? Joe: nah Joe: just don't reckon she was ever really one of us Joe: surprised if you do Ronnie: she wouldn't fight it so hard if she weren't Joe: I dunno Ronnie: I do, seen it loads Ronnie: gutters such a good fit it scares her shitless so she's gotta cling to that poor cunt Ronnie: he's her life raft through the shit Joe: hardly dragging him down though, is she Joe: not gonna be complaining any time soon, I've seen a lifetime of that Ronnie: everybody needs a fix that's theirs Joe: guess so Joe: no sign of getting over it any time soon Ronnie: I'm more likely to get clean before she does of him and I've got a nosebleed from all the shit B's ground up to stop me puking up Charlie's christmas feast Ronnie: sent my boss a pic though so it ain't all 💔 Joe: ☁ Joe: so glass half-full you, baby Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: can't be trusted with an empty one Joe: why are you the only one who talks any sense Joe: least all they're chatting is just waves now Ronnie: I pay attention Ronnie: you'd have broke your rules and 💘 me as a kid babe Joe: yeah? Joe: charlie's told me stories but never fully know what's bullshit or at the least exaggeration with him Ronnie: a solid 85% at least Ronnie: I was fucking feral though he's got that coined right Ronnie: you think I'm crazy now this shit's nothing Joe: I should've known you Ronnie: everyone who touched me back then has got a bite mark out of them Ronnie: you wouldn't have made it Joe: nah Joe: shit was different then Joe: so was I Ronnie: still gonna have been too soft whenever Joe: not the point though is it Joe: she should've got bitten Ronnie: she should've done loads of things Ronnie: she didn't Joe: I know Joe: fucked Ronnie: you won't give a shit tomorrow Joe: well Joe: be too numb to chat about it and think about it Joe: good as Ronnie: deal with it til then Joe: 🤐 got it Ronnie: unless you wanna bite your ma yourself like Ronnie: whatever gets you off Joe: you too Ronnie: cheers Ronnie: swallowing too much blood to fit in a dick but I'll try again later Joe: are you alright? Joe: where are the lads Ronnie: don't cry Ronnie: they're enjoying the show Ronnie: it ain't christmas til someone bleeds, pukes or pisses themselves Ronnie: can't give 'em the other two I ain't a pussy 💔 Joe: adorable, some would say Joe: is it really so much to ask that they keep you alive 'til I'm back Ronnie: relax I've had heavier periods Ronnie: you'll have to kill me yourself Joe: be fun trying Joe: challenge accepted Ronnie: hot Joe: don't forget it Ronnie: not gonna black out this shit ain't working that hard Joe: good Joe: call me needy all you want just don't go Ronnie: if I wanted to take the piss I could better than that Joe: not that gone either Ronnie: what are you on? Ronnie: 🍾 Joe: and my meds Joe: managed to get some extra 'cos I'm terrified of flying, obvs Ronnie: you're the one who's gonna die before you get here Ronnie: basically sober Ronnie: baby that's fucked Joe: I know Joe: options are limited Joe: not like I can go in on whatever anyone else is having when one lot is off the coke and the others are off the psychedelics Joe: fucking babies Ronnie: I mean, you could suck on the princess' tits but that ain't gonna give you what you really need Ronnie: talk to the dealer at your table, he's a baby too but he'll be holding something Joe: she's not got 3 Joe: and shut up Joe: though the latter isn't a terrible idea Joe: like you said, not gonna have anything good enough but Ronnie: I know, she weren't fully clothed for the 3way Joe: what part of shut up don't you get Ronnie: make me bitch Joe: such a twat you Ronnie: stop being a little fucking girl Joe: stop chatting about bullshit for a reaction Ronnie: you wanted me to stay Joe: yeah Joe: don't need to talk about that Ronnie: what then Ronnie: how much you love me Joe: anything but that Joe: literally Ronnie: I've plugged the 🩸 you can dry your eyes Joe: good Joe: don't be wasting it on something so lame Ronnie: you reckon that's lame I'm gonna have to eat the 💊 like it's the fucking 90s Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: very retro Joe: see what throwbacks I can get from this kid too Joe: be a party Ronnie: get your brother some poppers for his birthday Joe: probably be appreciated Joe: hence I won't Joe: chuck the obligatory tenner his way Ronnie: 🌈🙌 Joe: 😬 Ronnie: such a prude joseph Joe: you didn't have to live with them/partially raise them Joe: not something I wanna think about and they insist on making me constantly, pretty much Ronnie: didn't get to, you mean Ronnie: we're all 💔 babe Joe: you can revel in how much of a blessing it is on that score with your commiseration toast Ronnie: yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: now we're finishing each other sentences 💘😍 Joe: christ 😂 Joe: oh Joe: you know uni sophie is engaged now Joe: wanna go if they make it down the aisle? Ronnie: I really fucking do Ronnie: did I miss her engagement party? Joe: dunno actually Joe: I'll actually ask next time she tries to talk Joe: bet she's missed you almost as much as me Ronnie: ask her now she'll have wished you merry christmas Joe: how'd you know? Joe: hacked my accounts Joe: hot Ronnie: I could but don't need to Ronnie: a 💍 don't mean she ain't still 😍💘 for you mckenna Joe: still only human, after-all Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: awh come on Joe: you know you wanna see 'em all in their festive jumpers Joe: [sends post] Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: she one of your plan b girls like, she's got fat enough that you might wanna check she swallowed it Joe: ugh no Joe: any plan b baby of mine would be toddling by now Ronnie: reassuring Joe: if you want 99% on that front I'll sweep the old friends list Joe: make sure they've got no offspring with the 👂s Ronnie: you reckon I haven't Ronnie: living with such a computer whizz Joe: true Joe: his talents are probably better spent getting free netflix Ronnie: way ahead of you Joe: boxsets are what the season is really about Ronnie: gutted you ain't here, yeah? Joe: yeah Ronnie: you'll be back in time for the finale where the korean robots stop fighting to the death long enough to save the world or whatever the fuck Joe: 😂 Joe: can't wait Ronnie: 'course not Ronnie: edge of your seat shit Joe: do you ever think about going back Joe: to liverpool Ronnie: for what? Ronnie: am I losing the accent? 💔 Joe: not as bad as I have Joe: I dunno Ronnie: no fucker there I wanna see Ronnie: you'll have to do the mckenna childhood ghost tour on your own Joe: come on Joe: gear must be good Joe: fuss they made about it Ronnie: it's decent here Ronnie: take another swing babe Joe: cheaper there Joe: everything, like Ronnie: you know how to get freebies Joe: fine Ronnie: I'm not gonna play house with you in that shithole, shut the fuck up Joe: I said fine Joe: jesus Ronnie: couldn't hear it through your tears like Joe: piss off Joe: it ain't about you Ronnie: you asked me if I wanted to go back Ronnie: I ain't stopping you Joe: can't anyway Joe: doubt their orchestra pays as well Joe: assuming there is one Ronnie: if everything's cheaper they don't need to Joe: whatever Joe: be a stupid thing to do regardless Ronnie: and you never do anything stupid, yeah? Joe: it's the one area of my life I don't Joe: yeah Ronnie: don't be a prick Ronnie: you know you could join the philharmonic Joe: I ain't going Joe: forget about it Ronnie: fine Joe: funny Ronnie: feels like shit don't it, getting one back Ronnie: just 'cause you're surrounded by sprongs don't mean you can't use your words Joe: you don't wanna go, there's nowt else to say Ronnie: it ain't about me Ronnie: you forgot you just said that already? Joe: doesn't mean I wanna go without you Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: you can find another girl to shoot you up babe Joe: if you're gonna chat shit don't bother Joe: I love you Ronnie: give yourself a gift and hate me Joe: If I could, it'd have been on sight Joe: it's not like you charmed your way into my 💘 Ronnie: nah I injected myself into your veins Joe: don't give away your secrets Ronnie: not to shit on your christmas but it's only a secret for that lot where you are Joe: worst kept Ronnie: why keep it then? Joe: why announce it? Ronnie: you reckon she should get bitten, that'd do it Joe: 🥂 gather round fam Joe: they'd not believe it Joe: find a way to laugh it off, ignore the obvious Ronnie: roll up your sleeve, they can't fucking ignore that Joe: I'm pissing off mid-festivities Joe: that'll do it Ronnie: pussy Joe: what's it matter to you Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I mean it Joe: I'm coming back Ronnie: and that's all I give a shit about, yeah? Joe: obviously not Joe: but it makes no odds to you if I ruin their lives or not Ronnie: you're a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: but why specifically Ronnie: why the fuck do you think Joe: you want me to pick you Joe: to burn it all to the ground for them Joe: it ain't enough all the ways I've already done both Ronnie: you want me to be happy that you've had your cake and ate it Ronnie: nah, I hope you fucking choke baby Joe: I'll try my best Joe: I can't go back and make her keep you, there's shit I can do Ronnie: I don't want her, I want you Joe: it's been four fucking years Joe: you have me Joe: fucking Joe: I'd die without you Joe: I could get clean before I could leave you Ronnie: you did leave Joe: okay Joe: I did Joe: I left Ronnie: and they want you to stay Ronnie: these pricks want the princess here over me Joe: baby Joe: they want you Joe: they just need a chance to miss you, it's all it is Joe: we can go somewhere Joe: anywhere Ronnie: I'm fucking off to yours Ronnie: after that wherever Joe: I promise Joe: wherever you wanna Joe: and for how long Ronnie: wherever you want Ronnie: I don't give a shit Joe: it don't matter Joe: I just need to see you Ronnie: yeah Joe: you know I want you don't you Ronnie: show me when you drag your arse back here Joe: of course Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: it's like walking through a ghost town, you'd have such a boner if you were here Joe: shame Joe: is the cat there Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: singing carols for me Joe: she's talented Ronnie: shame I ain't a pushy stage ma Joe: why live vicariously when you can be a double-act babe Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna Joe: s'okay Joe: won't insist on being the warm-up Joe: not that kinda dad Ronnie: you need the practice though Joe: have to write my set on the plane Joe: impress you Ronnie: give you something to do besides cry and touch yourself Joe: not flying first Joe: or business even Joe: no blanket, no tissues Joe: 😿 Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I know Joe: tragedy Ronnie: I'm not doing the dance moves, like Ronnie: keep dreaming Joe: 💔 Joe: send me a video of your duet at least then Ronnie: [imagine that sassy cat please] Joe: I miss her Joe: shame she'd probably gouge our eyes out if we tried to take her with Ronnie: so will I but that ain't ever turned you off Joe: no one's going to ring RSPCA if they see me kidnapping you Ronnie: childline maybe Ronnie: I ain't forgot you said I had a fucking 👶 face you twat Joe: 😂 Joe: true Joe: but I'm banking on you being that offended you'll sort 'em out, like Ronnie: and you Joe: 💘 Joe: banking on that too Ronnie: 🖕💋 Ronnie: brb calling Briggs for a full face tat before you show up Joe: if you don't wanna kiss that bad, just say Ronnie: shut up Joe: so what's it to be Joe: spiders web Joe: skull Ronnie: see what the genius comes up with Joe: I look forward to the big reveal Ronnie: what time's your flight? Joe: [some ungodly AM 'cos xmas madness] Ronnie: fuck Joe: don't worry Joe: won't wake you Ronnie: all these pills will probably keep me up Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: n'awh, you wanna wait up for me Joe: how sweet 😏 Ronnie: kill yourself Ronnie: you've got more of my attention than korean death robots, calm down Ronnie: it's not a brag babe Joe: isn't it Joe: it's pretty epic if Bronson's livetweets are anything to go by Ronnie: it's the pills talking Joe: 😂 Joe: never have that affect on you 💔 Ronnie: deal with it Ronnie: I ain't gonna clean your flat, like Joe: probably enabling that, if you think about it Joe: so caring, babe Ronnie: how late did you leave packing there's shit everywhere Joe: I didn't Joe: only needed what I've got on Joe: got their presents in town Joe: easy Ronnie: you fucking knew you were gonna come straight back and still wanted me to beg Ronnie: maybe you ain't as soft as you were Joe: wanted makes it sound like I planned any part of it Joe: I knew I was coming back 'cos today was all I could stand Joe: being here, not being there Ronnie: don't ruin the fantasy Joe: poor baby Ronnie: yeah I am Ronnie: climbing the fucking walls here Joe: you or sid Ronnie: me and her Joe: babies Joe: what can I do Joe: need something to do Ronnie: do me Joe: alright Joe: call me Ronnie: [obviously does so we can end it there]

[theheavymetalmama]

SUPERHERO MOVIES DC SHOULD BE MAKING Plasticman-Funny man shapeshifter Swampthing-Horror Lobo-Bountyhunter with an attitude John Constantine-Wisecracker magician Static Shock-Superhero in highschool B. Beetle & Buster Gold-Like Next wave but less nihilistic Kyle Rayner GL-Cartoonist with power ring SUPERHEROS MOVIES DC IS MAKING (they'll probably shoe-horn-in batman) Wonder Woman-looks okay(?) Batman's Justice League feat. Batman-Did I mentioned batman is in this? Flash-is this still a thing?

Tell me about it. Marvel’s turning characters the general audience has never even heard of into superstars, all the while each movie has a secondary genre. Iron Man is a techno thrill, Thor is a fantasy, Guardians of the Galaxy is a space opera, and so on and so forth. Meanwhile DC is so invested in trying to recreate ‘The Dark Knight’ and leaning on Batman so hard that Justice League looks like someone thing opened a week or so after the first X-Men movie. All the while they can’t even get Superman right.

Yeah, Wonder Woman LOOKS good, but the fact that the trailers have shown almost nothing but action scenes and where there is dialogue Diana is mostly silent isn’t a good sign. While almost everyone agrees that Wonder Woman was the best part of Batman v Superman, it really isn’t saying much considering how much of an outhouse fire that movie was. So far, despite WB and DC’s desperate claims, all the things that made Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad suck are going to make Wonder Woman and Justice League suck too.

I hope I’m wrong, but given DC’s track record I can’t bring myself to be the least bit excited about these movies. As a fan of these characters and everything they represent, I can’t tell you how much that kills me.