Waking Up- Chapter 2
Rating PG-13 A03 ff.net [previous chapter]
fic summary: The war is over, but there’s still plenty of battles ahead for Hermione and Ron. Her parents are still in Australia, Ron is hiding secrets, and she has to wonder when she’ll wake up and it’s not from a nightmare. My version of an ‘Australia fic’ - Romione abounds
Huge thanks to @amysthefardareismai for her wonderful indepth beta-ing, and @abradystrix for her lovely betaing and britpicking. Y'all are the best!
And thank you to the people who have read this and reviewed- I appreciate you so very much.
CHAPTER WARNINGS: cursing, graphic descriptions of violence, mentions of suicide/ideation
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Taking watch seemed so unnecessary. Hermione's spells were amazing, and there were so many extra spells to alert them to the presence of people, why did they need to sit up late into the night staring into the woods?
The first few weeks were the hardest. His shoulder was tattered, and his sanity felt like it was in the same sorry state. Had the Ministry figured out that Ron broke in? Would his family be a target now? Were any of them maimed or dead because of him? Would it make his Mum love him less than she already did?
Ron shook his head at that last thought, and readjusted the locket. That bleeding locket. Every time he wore it he could feel it scrabbling at him. Back when he had Scabbers, one of the twins had told him about a Muggle torture where they'd put a rat on the victim's stomach, put a bucket over the rat, then heat up the bucket so the rat would chew right through them. They threatened to do that to him with Scabbers a few times before he started Hogwarts. It had frightened him, but he'd never truly understood what it could feel like until he'd put on the locket.
Every time he wore the locket he could feel it, gnawing through his chest, burrowing inside him, and shredding every piece of him apart.
The things it made him think were horrid, but worse was how it made him behave. He was used to a steady stream of vile self-loathing thoughts. What he wasn't used to was being unable to hide them. The thoughts took over his very being, and he became a complete arse when he wore it— he knew it and just couldn't seem to stop himself.
On watch he couldn't even occupy himself with doing something helpful because his whole body felt so weak. He wasn't sure if it was from his injury, hunger, or the locket— but he was completely depleted. He was useless, he could tell Harry and Hermione thought so.
Every time he told them to not say Voldemort's name they'd roll their eyes. Every time he mentioned they needed food, or a plan, they'd snap at him and talk down to him like he was a naughty three-year-old. Every time he couldn't do something because of his arm they'd scoff and act like he was making excuses. He'd always felt like a tagalong, but never more than in the last few weeks.
His one solace was that none of them were being all that useful anymore. There wasn't a plan of any sort. They had no goals. He couldn't think of a good plan, and Harry was leading them to nowhere. Meanwhile his whole family could be dead. No one cared though. Why would they? They had more important things to think of than the family of a teen so useless he couldn't so much as hold a mug in his left hand anymore. If he couldn't be a shield to them, what use was he? Why'd he ever think he meant anything to them at all? He was nothing.
Nothing, absolutely uselessly nothing.
"Ron?" he heard from the tent, startled out of his revelry. Hermione stood in the tent's entrance, but she wasn't properly bundled up for the cold. She was wearing a thin nightdress that seemed to float around her, and she looked so beautiful it made his breath catch. "What are you doing here?"
"Keeping watch," he replied, giving her a quizzical look.
"Why'd you bother coming back?"
"What?" Ron asked, looking at the locket and back to her. Where'd he gone? Oh right… He'd left them.
Harry came from the tent, looking fierce and sharp eyed.
"Why are you here?" Harry spat at him, eyes giving a faint red glow. "Hermione and I were better off without you— Always have been. Everyone sees it, why can't you?"
"Merlin, you're so pathetic," she sneered.
He didn't have an answer. The locket burned through his chest but he couldn't do anything to touch it, instead he found the sword of Gryffindor in his hand.
"You just thought you'd take a nice long holiday…" Hermione trailed off, wild hair floating about her, as she stroked a hand across Harry's chest. Ron stifled a whimper. He wouldn't cry in front of her. The locket beat as one with his heart.
"Oh Ron…" she said with a sultry pout. "The only thing you can do to stop the pain is to kill him."
Yes… All he had to do was take his sword and strike him, right through the heart and—
Fuck this, wake up, Ron!
He stood and he took steps towards Harry whose haughty eyes never wavered from his own. Hermione nodded and seemed to mouth to him 'yes' as he approached with the sword. He thrust the sword forward, stabbing haltingly through the ribs of Harry's chest.
Harry's face held no malevolence now. He was back to being the scrawny specky best friend, tired, brave, kind… And now with a look of scared uncertainty on his face.
"Ron?"
Blood blossomed across Harry's chest and Hermione screamed. Harry fell in a heap and blood splattered the snow-covered ground.
Wake up! WAKE UP!
With a jerk of his leg Ron finally escaped. His left arm was entirely numb, and he clenched and waved it to get feeling in it again. It stuttered and halted as he tried to rotate it. He pressed fingers harshly into the scarred flesh around his shoulder, willing it to wake up. He'd dealt with his arm acting up ever since he'd gotten splinched all those months ago, but normally he could get feeling and use back into his arm if he kept at it enough. Pain streaked down his arm like a fresh burn, making him let out a hiss. Pain was better than numbness, he supposed. Though it hurt something fierce, he stretched his arm out at that one funny angle he knew worked to get his arm going again.
What a fucked up dream. He hated the ones that were rooted in something real.
He looked to the camp bed beside him and Harry was there, lying asleep, peacefully dozing away on a heavy dose of Dreamless Sleep. With that particular potion, Harry could sleep through just about anything. Ron reached over to check his friend was truly breathing, then checked his pulse and lifted the duvet to make sure there wasn't any blood. He felt like a wanker and a creep for doing it, but he was desperate for peace of mind.
He almost killed his best friend those months ago. Well, it wasn't really him— it was the locket - but for just an instant the locket almost made him do it. Harry had looked so afraid of him that night. He'd even jumped away when the sword came down on the locket, convinced for a moment that Ron truly had betrayed him, truly wanted him dead.
They'd never talked about it since, still had trouble believing Harry could fully trust him again. He'd gone on about Ron saving his life and destroying the locket, but Ron knew the truth. He was no hero. He was a snivelling bastard who'd almost killed his best friend in cold blood.
"Fuck…" Ron groaned to himself. He didn't want to go down the self-hating path for another night. It didn't do anyone any good. That's how the locket had gotten to him. Not able to come up with counterpoints to his self loathing, he got up from his too short bed.
He arranged the blankets so the bed looked occupied. When he left it looking empty Harry had the habit of seeking Ron out, and he didn't want Harry missing out on sleep. Satisfied with the composition of his pillows and bedclothes, he cast a spell to replicate some snores and snuck down the stairs.
He wished he could wake Hermione, wrap his arms around her and bury his face into her bushy hair, but she needed the rest too. Plus he didn't want to get flack from his sister for sneaking into her room to use Hermione as a comfort blanket. Instead he went to the bathroom for his morning shower.
As he waited for the water to warm he looked in the mirror. He wasn't as god-forsakenly skinny as he had been, but he still looked a right unshaved mess. He'd never seen an Inferius before, thank Merlin, but he imagined his pale skin and deep purple bags under his bloodshot eyes could make him pass for one. Stooping under the shower head that was at least half a foot too low for him, he twisted and waved his left arm some more. The feeling still hadn't entirely returned to the blasted thing. The last three fingers were almost entirely devoid of feeling except for the odd painful prickle in his pinky. Considering all that he'd done and survived it was a small penance to pay. He turned the knob until the water was so hot he turned red as a fresh boiled chizpurfle, but his arm and fingers had feeling and could finally move normally again.
Done with his shower he put on his watch and checked the time. Two fourteen… He briefly considered taking a Dreamless Sleep potion. It seemed to work for Harry. Usually Harry was mumbling or yelling out in his sleep, but since the war he had been rather quiet. Whether it was the potion or lack of the Voldemort connection, Ron wasn't sure. He didn't want to ask Harry— that'd just bring attention to the fact that he had been the loudest damned roommate to put up with over the last seven years.
Ron opened the cabinet and looked at the neat row of draughts he could easily take. No one could fault him for it. He hadn't slept a full night in weeks. He held one in his hand and nearly uncorked it before he stopped himself. What if something were to happen and both he and Harry were too out of it on potion to help? He'd never be able to forgive himself if something happened and he'd not been ready. He'd gone through that too many times this year. He'd never let it happen again.
Mind made up, he put the potion back on the shelf and went downstairs for his nightly vigil. Compared to his watches when they were on the Horcrux hunt, the ones at the Burrow were almost pleasant. Sure he was dead tired, lonely and felt a hollow pit of sadness— but he couldn't complain. If anything it gave him a chance to mourn in private. Any other time of day and he'd be surrounded by people that needed him to appear strong, but in the middle of the night, all expectations fell away. He could freely be a grouchy depressed git, and no one would have to suffer his ill moods. He was determined to never be the same arsehole he'd been with that locket around his neck.
He was able to look out into the night from inside from the comfort of home, with plenty of food to power him, and a handy clock on the mantle to tell him everyone was alright..
They'd removed Fred's clock hand when he died at some point, when Ron wasn't sure. He didn't want to ask. He'd entered the Burrow a few days after the final Battle, everything had been set right, the house was clear of dark spells and the ghoul's butchered body had been buried, his room was back to normal (aside from a few posters they'd been unable to clean the gore from) but the clock was missing Fred's golden hand.
Every night that Ron sat in their living room, four hands would point to 'home' and four would point to 'away', unless one of his brothers was visiting the Burrow or had a late night at work. Since the war had ended, no one's hand had been on 'mortal peril,' for which he was immensely grateful. He glanced up at the clock on the mantle to make sure this was still true and his stomach flipped like he'd taken a step and missed it.
George's hand was firmly set on 'prison.'
Alarm coursing through him. Ron bolted for the stairs when the familiar sound of someone apparating made him freeze. He glanced at the clock, hoping George had come home, or one of his brothers apparated to tell them all what happened. The hands stayed firmly in place.
Someone else had apparated onto their property. His family closed off their property to all but the closest of confidants with a series of wards, but without the Fidelius Charm in place it was possible for people with enough power or cleverness to break through.
He saw the person's silhouette, tall and quick moving towards the kitchen door. Ill-lit by the waxing crescent moon, he couldn't tell who it was. The intruder was almost at the door. There was no time to get help. Ron was by himself. The only advantage Ron had for certain was surprise. There was no way the intruder could know Ron was awake, and in the dark, no way the intruder would have spotted him.
Ron quickly perturbed the kitchen door, and crept along the wall to the scullery. He cast a silencing spell and wrenched the window open. He threw himself through it and scrambled to fit his shoulders through the narrow opening. It felt a lot smaller than the last time he'd attempted this escape route at the age of twelve. He crept as quickly as he could around the side of the house.
He peered around the house. The stranger gasped as the perturbence spell threw their hand away from the door.
Ron steadied himself, then in a low voice cast his spell. With a noise and a burst of red light the intruder was knocked off his feet, unconscious. Ron ran to the body and wrenched it over to see the slack face of Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"Oh shit!" Ron cursed, taking a few steps back. He'd just cast a Stunner on the new Minister of Magic! Would he end up in prison like George? No… Of course not. It was Kingsley… He was defending his home in the middle of the night. Surely he couldn't begrudge Ron that?
"Rennervate!" he nervously incanted.
Kingsley gave a gasp and raised his wand, pointing it at Ron.
"Sorry... thought you were an intruder," said Ron, his wand still pointed at Kingsley.
"I gathered that," Kingsley said in his low calm voice, eyeing Ron's wand with raised eyebrows.
"You need to prove you're you. Who were you with for the Seven Potters mission?"
"Hermione. We rode a Thestral together. Who were you with?" asked Kinglsey, wand still trained on Ron.
"With Tonks," he said, voice tight at the thought of her.
They each lowered their wands.
"But really, I'm sorry 'bout the Stunner," Ron said, stooping to help Kingsley stand. He was surprised to find himself a little bit taller than the Minister.
"Nothing to be sorry about. I'd have done the exact same in your position," he said, putting away his wand and giving a wince at the movement. "I didn't expect anyone to be up."
"Yeah, well…" Ron didn't bother trying to come up with a reason. "Are you here about George?"
Kingsley nodded as he brushed the dirt from his robes. "Your mother must still have that clock of hers."
"Did he blow something up? Someone up? What happened? Is he ok?" Ron prodded impatiently.
"He's safe," said Kingsley, infuriatingly enigmatic. Safe. For all that meant, George was alive but sentenced to a life in prison for Ron knew not what. Safe now. Did that mean he was unsafe before? What had George done? Ron was bursting with questions, but didn't feel he knew Kingsley well enough to feel entitled to answers. "He's not in extreme trouble either, all things considered. As for all the circumstances, I'd prefer to only tell it once. Would you like to get your parents?"
The thought of waking his brittle mother to this made Ron feel a tremble in his gut.
"I'll get Dad. Mum, she… she needs her sleep after everything..."
Kingsley nodded in agreement, following Ron into the house as he unperturbed the door and snuck upstairs to wake his father.
It was an odd sensation to sneak into his parents' room for the first time in many years. Suddenly vibrant memories of sneaking in to cuddle between his parents, and finding other siblings hogging the bed struck him as he opened the door. No matter how many kids were in their bed, they always made room for more. If they had to, they'd spell the bed wider to accommodate everyone. No one was ever turned away, no matter what.
Part of him wanted to curl into the bed and have his mum hold him and tell him all his nightmares were rubbish, there were no monsters, and everything was ok. He couldn't do it, of course. Besides the fact that he was an inch or two shy of six and a half feet and eighteen years old, he knew monsters were very real and all his nightmares were rooted in horrid memories. There also was the fact that his mother was in an incredibly fragile state, one he'd never imagined he could see her in. If anything, he should be the one holding his mum.
As gently as he could, he shook his father's arm. His dad immediately opened his eyes, but was slow to sit up, so as not to jostle the bed.
"What's wrong?" he whispered, fumbling a bit for his glasses.
"It's ok. Don't wake Mum. I need you to come downstairs. Kingsley's here," said Ron, keeping his eye on the form of his mother, hair in long braid, as she usually did for bed. She'd done that since he could remember.
His father quickly followed him, putting on a dressing gown as they went down the dark narrow hallway. Dad did the same practiced look at the family clock and gave a gasp.
"George is fine, Arthur, but that's why I'm here," said Kingsley, his voice instantly calming. "George has been arrested for apparating under the influence to the top of Tower Bridge."
"THE Tower Bridge?" Arthur spluttered, looking aghast. "There could have been hundreds of witnesses!"
"He did it so late at night that we were quite lucky. Only one person actually saw him Apparate up there and they've been Obliviated. He was seen by many other Muggles on the bridge, but they didn't see him do any magic. They called it into the Muggle police reporting there was a man on top of the bridge, and they were concerned he was a jumper— "
Dad hissed in response. For an instant Ron almost laughed. They couldn't possibly think George was going to kill himself, could they? The very thought was mental!
Someone that young wouldn't opt for death. George was only twenty— far too young for anyone to contemplate dying… But life and death decisions were the sorts everyone had been making the past few years. You could be vibrant and laughing one moment, then a lifeless corpse under a pile of debris the next. Ron could practically smell the pulverized stone, and hear Percy's wails as he held Fred. His corpse had more joy on its face than George did now.
The more he thought about it, the more terror gripped at Ron. Suicide didn't seem that far outside the realm of reality. His brother had shut down and withdrawn from everyone. The few times he'd allowed anyone to see him, which was only in Muggle places like his hotel lobby or nearby restaurants, he'd been all bloodshot eyes and dark dull looks.
George very well could be that bad off.
"He… he wasn't going to jump, was he?" Ron asked, his voice small and childlike, despite its timbre. He felt his ears turn red.
"I really don't know. He was arrested on the spot by a pair of patrol officers from the M.L.E.S. —
Magical Law Enforcement Squad," said Kingsley before turning to Dad. "I'll do everything I can to keep news of this getting around, Arthur, but I can only do so much. He still needs to be bailed out."
"Of course," Dad somberly said, dazedly turning to the stairs. "I'll… I'll just put on some clothes… I'll let Molly sleep until I know more."
"I'm coming too," Ron insisted. The thought of sitting and waiting for news at home left a clawed out pit in his stomach. He'd done enough waiting around for shitty news the past year.
"You don't need to," Dad weakly protested.
"I want to. I'm up and dressed already, and… and I won't be able to rest until I see him and know he's ok."
His father nodded in assent. Ron was glad no one had thought to ask why he was up and dressed in the middle of the night. He hadn't expected them to. Most people's odd habits were rather accepted after the war, probably because everyone was too spell shocked to take the time to notice other people and do anything about it.
He'd thought at the end of the war he'd feel relief and happiness; that he'd finally be able to smile and celebrate. So many magical folk were in that boat now. The few papers he'd looked at had smiling faces, victorious ticker tape celebrations in Diagon Alley, and people thrusting mugs into the air to toast The Boy Who Lived, victory, and whatever rubbish made people happy.
Ron had crumpled the newspapers and set them on fire the day of Fred's funeral.
This must have been what it felt like for the Order after the first war. Yeah, they won— but it felt impossible to celebrate. So many people were dead or worse. People they knew— not some random heroes… Good friends, elves, kids, his brother… All kind, good, brave people who deserved to live.
For the survivors who knew them, it was nothing but funeral after funeral, bearing witness to breakdown after breakdown… How could anyone ever laugh again without the guilt immediately coming in, let alone celebrate? Was it any wonder George was such a wreck? He thrived on laughter before Fred's death. Even on Potterwatch, on the run and Death Eaters on their tails, the twins had been hilarious and clever.
"Did you see George?" Ron asked Kingsley.
"I did, but only briefly," said Kingsley before looking at Ron and seeming to see the hungry desperation for more information. "He was very intoxicated and was dozing in a holding cell. I had him put in his own cell, and there's someone watching him for safety's sake… just in case."
In case of what? In case George actually was 'a jumper' on that bridge? It took everything in Ron's power not to curse out loud. He and Kingsley knew one another, but not all that well and never as peers— and now Kingsley was Minister of Magic. Even if it was the middle of the night Ron didn't think it'd go over all that well to let loose a string of foul fucks, shits and buggers.
"How'd you know about him getting arrested anyways?" Ron asked, trying to distract himself from thoughts of his brother's mental state.
"I made it clear to the law enforcement staff that any notable business to do with the Order of the Phoenix would always need to be brought to me. Apparating to the top of Tower Bridge would count as notable."
"Yeah, that'd just about do it," said Ron with a shake of his head, looking for a quill. He dashed off a note to the family just in case it took a while to get George out of jail. He didn't want them to wake up alarmed at not only George being imprisoned, but Ron and his dad missing as well. He supposed he could have gone up to undo the snoring charm on his bed, but decided to leave it on the off chance he'd make it back before everyone was awake.
Dad was quickly back down the stairs fully dressed, though his thin hair was sticking up as bad as Harry's in the back.
They Flooed to the Ministry, as Apparition directly into any of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement offices was strictly forbidden by those who were not official staff of the department.
It was strangely disconcerting to not be on a deadly mission, undercover, getting his brains hexed out or getting his shoulder splinched. For the past few years Ron hadn't been to the Ministry except to break in. Part of him kept expecting someone to jump out from behind a column to arrest them all. He instinctively had his wand out until Kingsley gave it a pointed look. He quickly stowed it, his face flushing.
As they went through the Atrium of the Ministry there was a significant blank spot where the disturbing 'Magic is Might' statue had stood. Without people, and without any statue, the Atrium echoed with every footstep they took. They took a golden lift that said in a cool female voice "Level Two, Depart of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services."
The hairs on the back of Ron's neck prickled as they stepped off the lift. The last time Ron had been in this hallway he'd been Polyjuiced as Reg Catermole, stupidly attempting to make Yaxley's office stop raining. Nerveless clammy hands, so much smaller than his own massive ones, had shakily held his wand. If he hadn't been able to get that damned office to stop raining he could have ended up being responsible for the imprisonment, and perhaps even death, of Mary Cattermole. Then, just when he thought his day couldn't get more mad, his Dad had stepped into the lift.
Tension and relief had become so intermingled that he didn't know which he was feeling. For the smallest moment he had felt the childlike impulse to run up and hug his Dad, babbling about how fucked up everything was, to have his level-headed father fix it all. He'd know what to do about the Cattermoles, Yaxley, the Horcruxes— all of it!
It could have been the last time he ever saw his father. Between him, Harry and Hermione, Ron knew he was the one who would most likely die on their mission given his track record. If he could at least give his dad one last hug or find out the family was all ok… But there was no doing any of that. If he fucked up, he could get Harry and Hermione killed. He could doom everyone by being an overly emotional tit. He hadn't dared to look his father in the eye. If he had started, he didn't think he would have been able to stop from openly staring and trying to drink in one last look at his Dad. No, it had been be so much safer to just stare at his shoulder and get the fuck away as soon as he could. So Ron had avoided his father's gaze, gave his thanks for the Charm help, and darted off from the elevator, not sparing a backwards glance.
"We'll be going to the M.L.E. Court and Justice Center," his father said, bringing Ron back to the present.
With a shake of his head, he made himself focus up. The war was over. He didn't have to worry about any more 'this may be the last time I see you' moments. At least he hoped so. He had his Dad right at his side, in the same corridor, and he could say or do whatever he needed to. After all, Ron had survived all that stupid shit, somehow— others hadn't. He didn't even know if the Cattermoles were alive… and he hadn't thought of them in months. What a selfish sod he was.
Not far down the corridor was the 'Magical Law Enforcement Court and Justice Center', behind a large pair of oaken doors adorned in ostentatious carvings of medieval looking witches and wizards in various noble poses levitating scales of justice. It opened into an equally fine marbled room with many doors to courtrooms, offices and more, empty of everyone but a lonely old mustachioed guard nodding off in the corner.
Going through a door that read 'Prisoner Detention and Processing Center' the feeling was instantly different. The long arched dark-bricked room felt almost intentionally grubby, with rickety wooden seating screwed into the cheap tiled floors. At the back of the room were a series of formal wooden counters, all empty save a few exhausted-looking officials. Next to them sat a giant metal door that more resembled a Gringott's vault.
The rest of the sad-looking room looked like it could use a good scrubbing. Along the wooden rows of seats sat a few tired individuals filling out forms or listlessly staring at vault-like door for a loved one to finally be let free from jail. There was one young woman with three sleeping children piled around her as she filled out her form.
Ron accidentally caught her eye and gave a tight smile of acknowledgement. She gave a gasp and stared at him with wide eyes, seemingly recognizing him. For someone who barely was recognized by his own professors at school it was an odd sensation to have a stranger stare at him so. But then Ron realized he was with Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Minister of Magic. That must have been it, then. She was actually looking at Kingsley. Giving a wry smile at his own folly, he followed his father and Kingsley to the counter.
The surly paunchy woman sitting behind the counter sat up and gave a similar gasp as soon as she saw them.
"Mr Minister, sir!" she spluttered, sitting up high in her seat as a few purple forms flew out from around her. "H-how can I help you, sir?"
"We're here regarding a Mr. George Weasley. I'd like him processed for release as quickly as possible."
"Oh, yes, of course!" she said, gathering some forms and putting them on a clipboard with a little inkwell and quill at the top. She gave Kingsley a smile, but it had an unnatural set to it, as if she wasn't very used to smiling at all.
The packet of forms she'd gathered was formidable, and Ron could see his father looking at it with grim determination.
"Maybe I can help fill them out," said Ron, looking it over.
His dad shook his head and pointed to the top of the form— they had to be filled and signed by whoever was helping post the bail, and only them.
"Why don't Ron and I get us all some tea?" Kingsley offered. Having nothing better to do and feeling utterly useless, Ron nodded and followed Kingsley out of the processing center and down the hall to Auror Headquarters.
"I've been wanting to have a talk with you," said Kingsley as soon as they entered the hall.
Ron almost looked around him to see if Harry was there.
"We'll be needing your testimony soon for a few Death Eater trials, as well as Harry and Hermione's testimonies…"
"Oh yeah— yeah, whatever you need," Ron hastily said, putting his hands in his pockets to stop himself from swinging them at his side.
"Thank you, we all will appreciate that."
As far as talks go this one seemed rather benign. It was not like he couldn't have just said that on their way to the Detention Center.
They went past a number of cubicles to a small interview room with a cheery window displaying a sunny summer day outside the window, despite it being the middle of the night.
"I think we have a hangover potion somewhere here, too," Kingsley said, looking around the room in a few cabinets. "So, Ron, now that the war's over, do you have some plans for your future?"
Ron wasn't used to attention being on him like this and felt his ears go a bit red. The only thing he could picture in his future was Hermione, but he couldn't very well tell Kingsley that.
"I haven't been thinking much about the future, to be honest. Been more… just surviving, y'know?"
"I do, yes," Kingsley said before giving a low 'aha!' and taking out a small blue hexagonal potion bottle clearly labelled Hollace's Hangover Cure. "I imagine it will take a lot of time and rebuilding before that feeling of 'just surviving' goes away. Not just for us individuals, but our whole world. There's so much work we need to do to stabilize it, and give people faith in the institutions they once took for granted."
"Yeah, well it doesn't help the Ministry's been filled with a bunch of corrupt blood purists and puffed-up cowards," said Ron, going over to the tea station and beginning to make a pot. "At the beginning of the war I thought, 'people wouldn't let all that anti-Muggleborn stuff happen,' but they did. It all fell apart in days."
"The difference is that we now have a real chance to fundamentally improve our departments with better personnel. Most of the blood purists and corrupt individuals are in prison awaiting trial," said Kingsley, taking a seat on the edge of the sturdy oak table. "Of course, this means our government is gutted. The Auror department for example is very depleted, and we will be needing new Aurors to help round up all the loose Death Eaters, and other people who need to come to justice."
Ron nodded along, still a bit uncomfortable being alone with the Minister of Magic, even if it was just Kingsley.
"Making sure all our Aurors are honest men and women, aren't blood purists, and are able to put up with the rigors of the job… It's not easy to find good candidates."
"Yeah, I can imagine."
"A lot of young witches and wizards fancy becoming Aurors when they're young, but put them into battle simulations and they drop out rather quickly when faced with the reality of it. You've been living in those conditions for months on end, so you understand just how gruelling it can be."
''You mean barely making it to the end of the day with four limbs?" Ron said with a snort, giving his bad arm a bit of a stretch. "Yeah, not exactly something I'd recommend to most people."
"Well most people don't have your skill set. Tonks went on for days about your abilities at Harry's removal from his home last summer."
"She did, did she?" said Ron, a sad smile forming as he thought of Tonks and her infectious enthusiasm.
"She and Remus mentioned you'd shown interest in becoming an Auror."
"I… I have… I mean… I did."
Ron swallowed roughly. He didn't remember ever talking it over with them. Then again, most of the adults of the Order never had much to say to him. And he'd certainly never thought he was someone the adults ever discussed when he wasn't around. The only time they seemed to actually consider him was when they asked if he was willing to fly in that Seven Potters debacle the prior summer. Even then he was 'just another Weasley decoy.' Even Fred and George took the piss from him, saying he was just another spare Weasley for the mission.
"Given your experience and skills, I think you'd be a wonderful addition to the Aurors."
Ron's mouth gaped open. "Wha—? Me?"
"Of course."
"But they're… To be an Auror you have to be a true elite. You've got to be great at dueling, smart, a pro at defense," he rambled, going red when he realized he was explaining it to Kingsley, of all people.
Kingsley had an indulgent smile on his face.
"Sounds like your credentials, then. Plus you've probably participated in more battles than some of our current Aurors.''
At one point, not all that long ago, Ron would have beamed at such a comment. He found himself feeling more grim. He didn't like how many battles he'd been in. He wished he could have avoided them all, really.
"Now, I know you were interested in the Aurors before the war, but I wasn't sure if you were you wanting to join because Harry was, or is this a career you were seriously considering for yourself."
All the decisions Ron had made the last seven years seemed to be based around Harry or Hermione. He couldn't think of any of them that were just for him…
"A bit of both, I guess… It's always been Harry and me."
"But if it were just you, would this still be a career you'd want?"
No one had asked him what he wanted before. Not really. The only time he could think of was when he became Prefect and his mother had asked what he wanted as a gift. That had been overwhelming, and it was fairly trivial. This was a whole career!
In his career orientation with McGonagall she'd just sort of skimmed over it, her mouth going tight and an unimpressed look on her face when he said he was considering becoming an Auror. She'd gone off about what he'd need to qualify for it, and by the end of their meeting it seemed like insurmountable odds for him to ever become one. She was quick to let him know that should he fail to acquire high enough test scores, there were plenty of jobs other than Auror he could qualify for… He couldn't think of a single thing he was good at beyond chess, and last time he checked, that wasn't a career option. But here was the Minister of Magic, an ex-Auror, saying he was good enough.
He realized he'd been quiet a long time when the kettle began to whistle.
Kingsley seemed to sense Ron's mind had completely seized, and continued talking as Ron fumbled with the tea.
"So what do you say? You're as battle-ready as anyone and highly trusted— Of course the other side of it is, you've been through quite a lot in the past few years. To subject yourself to any more battles and duels... I'm not saying the Aurors are in non-stop battles, of course, but it can come with the job, and I'd understand if you'd want to steer clear of it."
Ron could walk away and odds were, he'd never have to participate in a duel to the death again. The idea was terribly tempting. He had no fucking clue what he'd do instead, or what he'd be any good for really— but he could take his time and figure it out.
"Are you…" Ron blanched and rephrased. "You're going to talk to Harry about this too."
"Yes. And a few others your age as well, such as Hermione and that Neville Longbottom. Really any of the of-age students who participated in the Battle of Hogwarts and survived it would be excellent candidates. But you, Harry and Hermione truly are the elite, in my opinion."
Harry he knew was destined for this, no matter how much Ron wished his friend would stay out of danger— that just wasn't him. Neville was never someone he'd have thought of for the Aurors, but he'd more than proved he had the grit for it. Hermione… Ron hated the idea of her stepping into danger ever again. She had just as much ability as anyone, and had been fighting right alongside Ron all those years— but he still thought of her as an innocent somehow who wasn't as hard and fucked up as him and Harry, or even Neville.
"Maybe you shouldn't ask Hermione," Ron found himself saying out loud.
Kindsley's eyebrows raised. "Oh?"
Ron flushed, knowing he'd overstepped. She'd hate him for saying something like that to Kingsley. "She's brilliant, of course, and could be an amazing Auror, but it's not what she's meant to do… She's meant to— to change the world or something. She could organize and set up the whole Ministry better than anyone, save house elves… You know, stuff like that."
"You'd prefer her safely behind a desk."
"Merlin's balls, yes!" Ron blurted before he could stop himself. "Sorry… Yes…"
"You can curse with impunity in my company," Kingsley said with a laugh, before sobering. "I'll still put forth an invitation to her for the Aurors, but I do agree— her particular skill set would do very well on the bureaucratic side of things."
"That's all I'm saying," Ron said, hand defensively raised. "I mean, of course I want to keep her away from all the action as much as I can. In the end she'll do what she wants and I'd never stop her, but really she'd be so much happier doing law-makery things and getting to use that big brain of hers. She's just not meant to be out there dodging curses and dealing with all that shit out there!"
"Are you?"
Ron hesitated.
He was so tired… but there was so much that needed to be done, so many people that needed to be hunted down so Muggleborns like Hermione could be safe. Harry would never stop, and Ron didn't think he could either, not yet at least. Thinking critically on his skill set, and not letting his insecurity rule the decision, he probably could hold his own as an Auror. Enough to watch Harry's back at least.
"Been doing my fair share of it for about seven years now… what's a few more?" he said with a shrug before his eyebrows shot up. "I haven't got any NEWTs though!"
"I'm temporarily relaxing those requirements."
"Then yeah… I'm in."
"You don't have to commit yourself now, of course. This is an important decision and I want you to take all the time you need."
Ron nodded, but his mind was already made up.
"We'd need to do just a bit of training so you're familiar with laws and everything before you're fully qualified. About seven months or so for those of you who qualify for the abbreviated training, but deputy Aurorship could start as soon as a week from now. I have some paperwork about it all to send to you, Harry and the others. You can expect it in the next day or so."
"Thanks."
With Ron's future decided, they made their way back to the Processing Center with hot tea in hand.
They found his Dad sitting where they'd left him, but he was missing the clipboard of paperwork.
"Almost done?" asked Ron.
"They're processing him. Should be done any minute," said his Dad with a wan mirthless smile. Everyone in Ron's family seemed to be a master of this smile: a 'things are fucked— what can I be but polite, and give you the worst shitty close mouthed grimace of an upturned mouth there is' smile.
"I'll see if I can hurry things along before I leave," said Kingsley, putting the hangover potion on the seat beside Ron.
His Dad thanked Kingsley, who gave a nod and went to talk to the same woman as before.
"You two were gone a while," said Dad, reaching a freckled hand over to take tea from Ron.
"Yeah, Kingsley wanted to talk to me…" Ron leaned over in his seat to put his elbows on his knees. "He asked me to join the Aurors."
His father's eyes widened a bit, but that was the only indication of surprise he showed as he took a long pull of tea.
"Did you give him an answer?" he hesitantly asked.
"I told him yes."
His Dad nodded before closing his eyes and sitting back to rub his fingers under his glasses.
"You think I should've turned him down?" Ron asked, suddenly uncertain.
"No… No, I wouldn't expect you to do that," said his Dad, giving a shake of his head.
"You wouldn't? Cause I considered it…"
"No," he said simply, taking another long sip of tea. That same tight smile was back on his Dad's face, making Ron's stomach feel cold and heavy.
"Why?"
"Because out of all my children, you are the one who always runs headfirst after danger if you think it might help someone."
Ron gave him an incredulous look. "All of us Weasleys are like that…"
"Well we all face danger head on when it comes at us, and do our part to help a righteous cause, but you? You're the one Weasley who's been chasing adventures down since the age of eleven."
"I've not!" Ron protested, feeling a rush of anger. He wasn't some adrenaline junky or glory hound. "Who the hell wants to do and see all the stupid bloody things I have? I'm not out there 'adventuring for fun' or whatever. If I never saw another bit of action again, it'd be fine by me!"
His dad had a rueful look on his face. "I should've phrased it better. It's not about you seeking out adventure to satisfy a selfish urge . It's about doing what's right. If there's the wildest hope some action of yours will help, you put your life on the line to do it. Sometimes I wish it was someone else's child who would step up instead, but…"
"Other people's children are stepping up," said Ron, thinking of people like Harry, Hermione and Neville.
His Dad gave a sigh and put a hand to the back of his neck. He looked so weary and aged, and so very tired.
Ron hated that he'd made his dad's night even worse. "M'sorry," he mumbled.
"Don't be sorry!" his Dad said with a small smile. "You should be proud of yourself! Being offered Aurorship when you haven't even graduated from school? It's quite an accomplishment."
He wasn't so sure. The bracing talk from Kingsley seemed to be fading, and the nerveless anxiety of not being enough wormed its way to the surface. After all, Kingsley was offering the position to tons of people.
"You've done so much," said Dad.
Ron gave a shake of his head and stared at his trainers. He'd barely scraped out of the war alive, and had a long list of failures: leaving the hunt, almost killing Harry, failing to save Hermione at the Manor, failing to save Fred. He failed so much and so many people.
"I'm very, very proud of you, Ron," said his father, hand clapping hard onto Ron's scarred forearm. Ron looked up from his hand to see his father had tears in his eyes.
Ron had never had his Dad look him in the eye and say something like that before. Sure, he'd congratulated him a couple of times, said he loved him and such. This was very different from those times. There were so many unsaid things in his father's look. There was a world-weary sadness shining in his father's eyes - fierce pride, fear for everything Ron had faced before, would face in the future, and so much fatherly love.
Ron felt his eyes prick with tears, and he had to look away to keep them from falling.
"Can't blame me for hoping you'd retire from danger, can you?" his Dad said, with a sniff.
Ron gave a short laugh.
"I'll be careful… I really will," Ron said, though he knew it wouldn't do anything to calm his Dad's worries.
"I know," his father said before slumping in his chair. "Oh, your mother is going to be a wreck…"
The two of them groaned at the thought.
Ron wasn't sure if she'd be proud or worried sick. Both? Either way he was fairly certain she'd be crying and screaming about it. He wasn't looking forward to that.
The sudden loud clanking of the metal door opening made them both stand up. A very scruffy looking George stumbled forward, not looking either of them in the eye as he approached, an M.L.E.S. officer at his side. He swayed a bit, and stank of alcohol and body odor. He'd looked awful coming through the door, but this was nothing compared to up close. Ron hadn't seen him in a week, and he doubted George had showered or shaved since he'd seen him last. Even at the end of the battle, completely encrusted in gunk and debris, George had looked better than this.
"Well, Mum always thought we'd end up in jail," George said with a humorless smile. Ron winced at his use of 'we.' George hadn't completely stopped using 'us' and 'we' since Fred died, and every time he slipped up it hurt.
"You two able to take him from here?" the officer asked, looking thoroughly done as George patted him on the shoulder and gave him a goofy smile.
"Yes, I signed the paperwork. We'll take him home," his Dad answered. The officer quickly extracted himself from George's grasp, straightened his uniform, and went back through the door. "Let's go home, son."
"Fat fucking chance," said George, before he let out a creaky wheezing laugh that sounded so foreign and callous, Ron couldn't believe it'd come from his brother. "Morning, Dad."
"Yes, what a wonderful morning it is," their Dad said, fixing George with a withering glare that made Ron step back.
George stupidly blinked at him, before giving another cackle.
"And Ron! You're here too! It's a fucking family re-nunion. Onion? Reooonion. That's it. How are you?"
"Spiffing," said Ron with a roll of his eyes. George reached up and put an arm around Ron's left shoulder. The sudden weight of his brother, along with the inches of height difference, made Ron stoop over in an uncomfortable lurch that made his shoulder throb in pain. "Merlin you reek, George."
"'S'no way to talk to your older brother!"
"Let's go," said Dad, putting a hand on George's elbow which he quickly shrugged off.
"D'rather sit in that cell!"
"George, I signed a surety bond that said we'd stay with you until you were sober. The bond keeps you from being able to Apparate or Floo, or even travel at more than five kilometers per hour on your own until you're sober. There's literally no way you can travel on your own right now, aside from walking."
An ugly mutinous look passed over George's face.
"M'not going to the Burrow."
"Then where do you want to go?" asked Dad with more patience than Ron could have managed.
George closed his eyes and swayed so far back that Ron thought he might fall over, but he miraculously kept his footing.
"Dunno," he said, letting out a big sigh. "I can't handle… I don't wanna be home, okay?"
"How about your hotel?" asked Ron.
George leaned back again, and Ron hissed with pain as his brother's weight twisted his arm at a funny angle a second time. The silence went on for a long time before George said, "I dunno…"
George gave another laugh and looked around as if he'd accomplished something.
Ron had to keep himself from throttling his brother.
"We're taking you to your hotel then," said Dad. They limped along with George until they were clear of the Anti-Apparition spells at the Department of Law Enforcement. They simultaneously side-alonged George to his hotel room, where he promptly threw up in the middle of the floor.
The smell of his sick was nothing compared to the smells hitting them from the room. Trays of food were growing mold and had flies surrounding them, molding towels and clothes were all over the room, and it smelled so awful Ron nearly was sick himself. Even half the bed had plates and other detritus on it.
"Oh George…" said Dad looking around the room. He gave a shake of his head and banished the filth from the bed so Ron could lay George down.
"Do you think we can get him into a new room?" Ron asked.
"It is a bit late in the night for that… Plus it's a Muggle hotel, so that complicates payments quite a lot."
Ron looked around the room, realizing how much work it would take to clear it of mess if he was to try and keep the various plates and towels instead of just banishing them all, when he saw the extra door in the room.
"George, where does that door go?"
"Wha'door?" his brother moaned, eyes closed tight.
"The one next to the-the shiny box thingy on the table."
"Telly."
"Yeah, tell me."
George gave a grunt and opened his eyes enough to roll them.
"Box thingy's a telly, sod!"
"Oh it's a tellyvision!" Dad enthused.
"Not now!" Ron gritted out. "The door next to the telly-thingy. It goes to another room, yeah?"
George gave an unhelpful shrug.
"What are you thinking, Ron?" asked Dad.
"I'm thinking we can break into the room next door and put George up there for tonight— meanwhile we can clean up his original room."
"When room service is available we can get some clean sheets and such for this room," Dad replied.
Ron gave a nod and did a Hominum Revelio on the room next door. It was thankfully empty. They unlocked the door and floated George over. Despite his weak protests, he was asleep and snoring away within minutes.
Cleaning the grotesque room was a task akin to the scrubbing of Grimmauld Place, but they found their rhythm, and by the time the sun was close to rising, the room was clean enough that Muggle housekeepers could easily see to clearing away the now spotless dishes and stack of still slightly mildewy, but folded, towels.
Out of anything to do, father and son sat on the end of the semi-clean bed that still needed new sheets.
"Well, that's about as done as we can do until the housekeeping staff is available," said Dad, giving his glasses a polish. "You should probably get back home. I can stay here and tend to George."
"No I'll stay," Ron volunteered. He didn't like the idea of returning to the house with nothing to occupy him, or worse, having to tell his mother what happened to George. "You have to work today, don't you? And I don't have anything."
"I suppose it's best I tell your mother anyways."
"Or maybe we could put off telling her?" Ron asked hopefully. "I mean, she's just now doing okay…"
"It'd be difficult for her to not find out in some way, though," said Dad with a shake of his head. "There's no way I can lie to her about something like this."
"Well, maybe we can put it off until everything with George is a bit more settled?"
Dad gave a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I... suppose. If she hasn't seen the note you left yet."
George chose that moment to stumble into the room, squinting at them.
"Well, I need to get a move on if I'm to retrieve that note before your mother sees it… Going to be a long day," Dad said, giving a low grunt as he stiffly rose.
"Sorry," George mumbled.
"Yes, well, we have a lot to discuss later, don't we?" said Dad, lips forming a tight line, before Disapparating from the room. Ron and George were alone, the latter pale and wincing at the lights of the room.
Ron got the hangover potion from his pocket and handed it to George, who downed it in one go and immediately regained the color in his face.
"Oh that's loads better," he said, standing tall, though still many inches shorter than Ron.
George looked around the room, embarrassed and most likely stunned to be able to see the floor.
"Thanks for cleaning up… getting me and all... "
Ron gave a nod, not quite able to bring himself to look his older brother in the eye. It was easy enough to just go through the motions and clean a room up, but now, just sitting still, it was a lot harder not to feel the dangerous stillness in the room, or to ignore how wrecked George looked.
He imagined his brother on top of the bridge, drunkenly swaying on the edge. His throat tightened until he could barely swallow. He wanted to ask George about it. Wanted to push him against the wall and tell him what a sorry sod of a brother he was, and drag him back to the Burrow. Or just hug him tight and beg him to be ok.
"You — you need some tea," Ron mumbled, looking about the room for a kettle, and willing his eyes to stay dry. Spying a plastic kettle in the corner, he waffled about with the unlabelled buttons on it, but nothing happened. It took a lot of prodding before he realized it wasn't plugged in. "And you need a shower. You smell like a troll."
"Of the two of us, at least I don't look like one," George replied with a frown.
"I can get us some food and tea while you're showering," he said, ignoring the dower look on George's face. "How do I do that room service thing?"
"With the phone— but I'm not wasting my time trying to teach someone thick as you how to use it."
"I know how!" Ron answered back, more curtly than he intended, taking the phone off the receiver. It had been years since he'd touched a phone, but all the loud sounds he'd detested then were the same with this phone. It made the familiar horrid tone in his ear. This one didn't have the dial of numbers like the one he'd used in Ottery St Catchpole, just plastic buttons. "What's the number?"
"Zero..." said George, looking at him with a scrutinizing look. He sat down heavily beside Ron. "When'd you learn to use a phone?"
Ron put his hand over the receiver. "Like four years ago. Hermione and I practiced using the phone every summer since third year."
Ron pressed the zero button, and the phone made a sound signaling a connection was in progress. A clipped female voice answered.
"Here at Crandon Inn, your comfort is our pleasure—"
George did a wanking gesture as the woman said pleasure. Ron worked hard to swallow a laugh and keep his composure.
"Er, yeah, I need to order— " Ron began, but the voice on the other line barged ahead.
"To speak with the front desk press 1. To speak with guest services press—"
"When did all this 'phone practice' take place?" George asked. "I know we would have taken the mickey for calling Hermione every summer. How'd you keep it from us?"
"You never paid attention to me," Ron said shortly, putting the phone back to his ear.
" — ning press five. For travel accommodation services press—"
"I've always paid very close attention," said George. "At least when there was something as juicy as 'phone practice with Hermione' to make fun of."
"To speak with billing press seven. To speak with maintenance press eight."
"What button do I press for food?" Ron stage whispered to his brother who was smirking.
"I thought you said you knew how to work a phone."
"I do! I missed the number because you've been talking nonstop! Which number?"
"Press nine."
Ron pressed nine.
"Here at Crandon Inn, your comfort is our pleasure. To speak with the front desk press 1. To speak with guest services press 2."
Ron pressed the button again, but all the menu did was repeat itself.
"Are you sure it's nine?"
"Yeah," George said with raised eyebrows. "At least I think it's nine for food."
"You had a million plates in here! How do you not know the number by now?" Ron groused.
"Press nine again. It should work."
"Here at Crandon Inn, your comfort is our pleasure. To speak with the front—"
"It's just repeating itself again."
"Are you sure you pressed nine?"
"Yes!"
Ron pressed nine a few times for emphasis.
"Here at Crandon — Here at Crandon — Here at Crandon — Here at Crandon Inn, your comfort is our pleasure. To speak with the front desk press one."
"Once more. With feeling!" George said wearing, a broad smile on his face, leaning over to press the button for Ron.
"Oh you arsehole! Fuck off before I hex you!"
Ron gave a scowl and aimed an ill-aimed punch at George. Even in his dehydrated state, George was able to easily dodge him and scamper to the bathroom, a grin on his face.
"You better be showering in there, because you've been making my eyes water!"
It wasn't until the water was running, and food was ordered, that Ron realized he'd seen his brother genuinely smile with mischief in his eyes for the first time in a month. It was irksome that George acting normal meant Ron was a target for teasing, but he'd much rather that than any alternatives.
The food arrived, as well as new sheets, by the time George had finished his long shower.
George had little to say as he began his meal at the desk, so Ron sat across from him on the bed and went off for a while about what he'd been up to at the Burrow as well as his and Kingsley's chat.
"So you're going to be an Auror?" George asked rather quietly.
Ron gave a shrug. "Yeah, looks like it."
"Well at least I have three years to get used to it... That's how long the training is, yeah?"
"Usually, but… He's cutting it all short. I'd be a Deputy Auror in a week or so as soon as I fill out all the paperwork. Full fledged Auror in like seven months."
"But— But you're only seventeen!" George spluttered, dropping his egg-laden fork.
"Eighteen," he replied, warily eyeing his brother.
George abruptly pushed his chair away from the desk and paced to the window. He wrenched open the curtains and stared at the view, his arms crossed.
"Why you?" George rasped out, before turning around to glare at Ron. "Like, why the fuck would Kingsley ASK you?"
Ron's fist clenched, and the cold uncertain feeling swam its way down from his stomach to his feet.
"You're only a kid! He can't be serious! You've only just barely survived this stupid bloody war, and he's trying to put you on the front-line again, and doesn't even have the decency to properly train you!"
"He said he reckoned I'm— I'm good enough given what all I've been up to…" Ron muttered, feeling his earlier confidence shattering under George's acerbic gaze.
"And you! You stupid wanker, you said yes!" George swore, kicking over a chair before giving the wall a hard punch that left a dent in it.
Ron didn't dare move from the bed as he watched his brother's furious reflection in the window. He wished his own senses would flood with anger at the insination he was basically curse fodder. He wished he had a ready defense of his abilities and that he could proudly state 'of course Kingsley chose me, I'm fucking amazing.' There was nothing but roiling uncertainty and hurt washing over him. He couldn't be mad and couldn't defend himself with conceit he didn't feel at all entitled to. Would it be this way with everyone he told of the Aurorship? Them mourning him as a lost cause or raging at him because they knew he'd fail?
"Do you want me to go?" Ron asked, carefully rising from the bed. George didn't make a sound, but turned and strode towards him, the same raging look on his face. Ron flinched, readying himself for a blow that never came. Instead he found his ribs crushed into an embrace. Shocked, it took a moment for Ron to free his arms enough to hug his brother back.
"You better keep yourself safe," George mumbled into his shoulder, his hold painfully tight.
"Course," Ron swallowed.
George finally broke the embrace, but kept a hand firmly clamped on Ron's shoulder, finally looking him in the eye. "I mean it."
"I know," Ron said, his voice tight.
"Blimey… An Auror… And you didn't even finish school!" George said, a small smile on his face. "Become Ronnie the War Hero and they just offer you the prestigious jobs, hmm? "
Ron looked to the ground, blanching at the title of hero.
George elbowed Ron in the side a bit. "I might not be as heroic as you, but maybe I can finagle an attaché position or something."
"Kingsley's offering it to anyone who fought at the Battle of Hogwarts and is of-age. I'm nothing special."
"Oh c'mon, Ron," said George, giving a roll of his eyes.
Ron just stared at him. There was nothing to say. They both knew it was true. Ron might have stood beside a lot of special people, but there was absolutely nothing special about him.
"Want to show me how this tellything works?" Ron asked, walking to the box and tapping on some of the buttons that didn't seem to do anything.
"Naw, I'm knackered," said George, taking his wand and spelling his fist print out of the wall. "I'm just going to sleep last night off. You should go home and get some sleep yourself."
"I'm fine, I can stay."
"To watch me sleep?" George asked, before crossing his arms. "Or are you just wanting to play babysitter?"
Ron didn't have a proper answer for that, and knew his worry was showing on his face.
"I'm fine, Ron."
"Then why'd you go to that bridge?" Ron hoarsely asked. He hadn't really meant to say it. He didn't want to push his brother too far.
"I dunno. I was pissed," said George in a hardy sort of voice. He tousled a hand through his hair before giving a forced smile. "Had a right nice view, didn't it?"
Ron didn't smile back, and his brother's expression faded into a hard look.
"You'd better get back to the Burrow, before Mum worries," said George. He sat on his bed and turned out the lights with a flick of his wand, leaving the open window curtain the only light in the room. "Get yourself some real food instead of this hotel muck."
"You could come round and have some real food too."
George bit his lip before giving an uttered, "Maybe…"
Ron stood frozen. "You won't do last night again, will you?"
"You mean get pissed as all fuck? Yeah I imagine I will," George bit out, but his expression softened when he looked at Ron again. "Not doing it anytime today, though. I'll… just be here."
That had to be good enough.
Ron leaned down to give his brother a hug that was lightly returned.
"Now fuck off, I need to sleep." said George, giving him a flash of teeth and a punch to the arm.
Ron closed the window curtain to enclose the room in darkness, and Apparated to his room at the Burrow.
The bed was still arranged to look like he was asleep in it with the snoring spell sawing away in a passable imitation. He stopped the snoring spell, put his wand on the bedside dresser, pushed the blankets out of the way, and stripped down to his boxers. As he laid down he felt his whole body sag with relief to finally rest a bit.
He had just begun to pull his covers into place when the door quietly opened.
"Oh good, you're awake!" Harry had a tenuous smile on his pale face. He was looking rather relieved and in need of cheering. As tired as Ron was, and as much as his body protested, he sat up and gave a squinty eyed smile in return.
"Yep, I'm awake!" Ron tried to enthuse.
"We put some breakfast aside for you with a warming charm," said Harry, sitting on the camp bed.
"Cheers," said Ron with a nod.
"I think this was the first time you've had a lie-in since last summer. Makes things feel a touch more normal."
Ron gave a distracted hum and grabbed the jeans he'd just been wearing moments ago, jerking them on to avoid Harry's gaze.
"Ginny thought it might do us some good to leave the house a bit today."
"Sounds good. You haven't been out of the house except for funerals and Hogwarts rebuilding," said Ron, looking about for the shirt he'd been wearing earlier.
"And you've not left here except to see George last week…" Harry added, speculatively eyeing him. "So maybe we could all go out somewhere."
"Yeah fine."
Ron finally spied his shirt. It was wadded up in the low-ceilinged corner just beyond Harry's camp bed and knelt down to retrieve it.
"Maybe we can all go down to the village?" asked Harry.
Ron's voice suddenly felt strangled. "The village?"
A skittering frenzy of fear lapped at him. His fists clenched and he rose so sharply he immediately bashed his head against the ceiling with a horrible crash that left him seeing stars.
"You okay?" Harry asked with a laugh, giving Ron's back a pat.
A chill went up his spine at the touch on his back. He quickly lurched away from it, nearly punching out at Harry, but covered the action by giving his head a rub.
"Yeah, I'm just..." Ron managed to let out, tightly gripping his shirt and willing himself not to freak out because he'd been touched. "Just too bloody tall for this room."
"You're too bloody tall in general," said Harry, a grin on his face. "If not the village, we could play Quidditch or see how the Lovegood's rebuild is coming?
"Quidditch sounds good," Ron answered, putting his shirt on and hoping he sounded casual. Harry idly chatted about what he'd been doing that morning, giving no mention of George or Ron's mum. Dad must have gotten back in time to get rid of the note. Even if he was entirely sleep deprived Ron felt immense relief that he wouldn't have to deal with that business anymore for the day.
[NEXT CHAPTER]
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AN: Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it please let me know w/ your words! :)
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