#nikki rambling

[im-a-sokka-for-you-ooh]

TW//

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Discussion of B*dy D*sm*rph*a

So did anyone else grow up flat-chested and learn to kinda love it??

My whole life, despite being plus sized, I've always been lacking in that department. I was born afab but I now (only in small circles where I know I'm safe to) identify as nonbinary. Growing up as "a girl", I was meeting some benchmarks too early, like for weight and height. For puberty things, I was "late". I "never developed" like the other girls did, got my period later than most (eighth grade was late for some weird reason idk), but the one that bothered me the most was my chest. Girls would go bra shopping and I'd just smile and nod and say yeah when in reality I was getting "granny bras" that barely have cups and have absolutely no underwire. Girls never bullied me about it but sometimes boys would and I'd pop off with a dick joke to mask my insecurities by shaming them with theirs. Now that I'm in my early 20s and I've come to my own conclusions about my gender identity....I don't know how I feel about it anymore. Like I've always joked that my college graduation present would be a boob job, so I could finally fit into a B or C cup...but somedays, I want to be as flat-chested as possible. I want to have no breasts at all because sometimes I feel more comfortable presenting masculine (which to me means an absence of breasts entirely). And I honestly can't tell if I'm having body dysmorphia or euphoria when I wear sports bras that make me nearly flat, or on days when I'm feeling more feminine presenting, I'm either looking like I have breasts or I don't. It's really weird and I don't really understand enough about body dysmorphia and euphoria to really be using that terminology but that's how it feels. And sometimes, I look in the mirror and feel a disconnect from myself and my body. Idk, I feel like I'm rambling at this point but I thought maybe someone else might understand.

[messy-jaxx]

Poorly explain your favorite series in the comments/reblogs

[jajatoc]

Yume Nikki, Silent Hill and Little Nightmares ost fans (me) when instead of music I make them listen to factory sounds (they love the grating of metal and weird clangs and creaks more than anything)

[starry-eyed-extraterrestrial]

Talking about the Mötley Crüe tarot cards, and how perfectly they fit with each of the members cause I haven't seen anybody talk about this yet.

Nikki,the Devil - I think this one is pretty self explanatory. The devil (upright) represents addiction, oppression, dependency and powerlessness and this fits so well with young Nikki who was strung out on heroin and powerless in the face of his addiction.

The devil reversed however represents independence, freedom, release and the reclaiming of one's power which is perfect for older Nikki who gets over his addiction and reforms and metamorphosizes into a far better human being.

It's kinda funny because Nikki is the only one who's card has a more positive connotation when in reverse but I think this also represents how Nikki's life only really started looking up when he got older and kicked his addiction.

Vince , the sun - the sun upright represents confidence, optimism and success and Vince is obviously very confident and optimistic in his daily life and all of them are obviously very successful because of Mötley crüe.

The sun reversed though means pessimism, conceitedness and unrealistic expectations. When things don't immediately go Vince's way he becomes sulky and miserable, and things usually only don't go his way because he has unrealistic expectations, he either holds people or himself to too high a standard and gets fucked because they or he obviously couldn't live up to said expectation.

Vince can also be conceited he's very vain and empathises his self importance often throughout their entire career, and this fact has bit him in the ass multiple times.

 Tommy , The Lovers - I know his card technically only says “the lover” but no such card exists, so I assume they just based it off the lovers which represents love (duh), balance, unity and choices.

Tommy has a lot of love to give and hands it out in spades to anybody who he's even passively liked or talking to. He also definitely brings a balance to the band that isn't talked about enough, in the early days he was definitely the middle ground for any spats between Nikki and Vince, listening and comforting them both in his own way and being fair by not picking a side and just hearing them out until he could eventually calm Nikki down and explain the situation better from Vince's point of view and vice versa. He also unionises the guys by by being this comfortable loving presence that's usually so understanding.

The lovers in reverse however means disharmony/chaos, imbalance and bad choices. We all know Tommy can be a very chaotic force to be reckoned with and this can cause imbalance in the established relationships that he has with the other members because yes he's quick to love, he's also quick to hate and sometimes without warning with how quickly his mood can change which can lead to a lot of confusion and disharmony. Also I don't need to tell you that Tommy has made some bad decisions in his life.

Mick , the magician - this card upright means willpower, resourcefulness, skill, and manifestation.

I've never seen a man with more willpower than Mick Mars who continued just doing the thing that he loves despite the pain and all the times he thought he wouldn't make it. He is extremely resourceful, in fact his resources were the only way they funded Mötley at the very beginning and he very clearly is a skilled guitar player.

The magician in reverse means cunning, wasted talent and deception/illusion.

Mick has always been open in his overwhelming determination to have a successful band and I think he's definitely screwed a few people over in his life because of this fact (like Mötley's rhythm guitarist and he definitely deprived his own children time with him because of this).

I don't think Mick wasted his talent, but if he got too comfortable in his suburban lifestyle then he definitely would have (and according to the dirt, he almost did).

Idk, this post probably won't interest anybody, but I just thought I should bring this up and explain how I saw why they picked the cards for the members.

[strawberrus0da]

tfw you play a whimsical fashion dress up game where everyone solves conflict through dress up battles but the canonical lore reason for those dress up battles is a blood curse inflicted on everyone in the land that prevents anyone from physically harming another individual lest they be put through unbearable pain themselves

[the-sixxth-sinner]

Mötley crüe tarots for the 40th anniversary of shout at the devil

[gingeredmink]

Dreamers as tumblr users AU

Because my brain can and WILL go off the deep end off absolutely nothing

Mado posts a bunch of art and music with zero tags or description and is famous somehow, she's kinda seen as a cryptid.

Uro throws everything on one blog [anime gifs, recipes, goofy animal vids that she always tags as #THISISMEEEE, funky tunes, ect], she's amassed a large following due to unhinged text posts and drawings of cursed lil guys

Sabi has a gore/macabre horror blog, sometimes posts selfies in goth outfits that Uro reblogs and gushes over in the tags

Sou does gothic writing stuff, he's the kind that takes the writing prompt of the day sorta stuff and runs with it. Also gives long thought out advice when asked and is surprisingly chill. Uro posted a selfie with him once [his face was censored with a cat sticker] and people lost their mind

Tats/Lefia share a blog and sign their post with either ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ or ⊹₊♚₊⊹ to show who's posting. It's overall really cute stuff but sometimes Tats posts a bunch of depressing shit out of the blue and freaks people out.

Muma and Sometsuki have really simple blogs full of bunnies with random aesthetic posts here and there. Sometsuki's has lo-fi with violin bgm

more random interactions under cut cause I don't wanna drop a tolkein novel of dreamer thoughts in tags.

The closest thing anyone's ever gotten to Mado speaking was when Uro asked if she likes cats and she replied with, "ↀᆺↀ"

People begged Uro to get Mado to say more and she always responds with absurd nonsense like, "I cannot force the Mado to speak, she offers her words as blessings and we should be thankful for when she graces us."

Sometimes Uro's a clown on Tat's post and Tats just responds with "ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ ✂"

Sabi and Tats did a Silent Hill cosplay together one time [Sabi was Heather Mason, Tats was some little monster child]. People still get surprised every time Tats shows their horror fan side.

Sabi sometimes makes edits/art as covers for Sou's writing and vice versa

It's hilarious seeing Sou's more serious/somber posts get broken up by him responding to some nonsense from Uro like, "Every day I wonder what I did to deserve your acquaintanceship." [uro just replies with, "aw, you know you love me~"]

Muma somehow has a thing like shimeji set up on her blog so you can interact with the little bunnies on it.

[rose022]

ok since its come up with the new ad thing

PLEASE reblog for sample size pleasw

[eggsnatcheskneecaps]

Hey do you think Caprico's everything is waterproof or does he have abs because he hates water due to his robotic parts

Or even still a water hater Despite Knowing water wouldn't hurt him if he Is waterproof?

I can only assume Caprico uses medical steel for parts that are meant to connect with his body. He's not stupid, I don't think he'd have such a simple oversight as to use a metal that can corrode and/or rust. Especially for the chest piece. Medical steel is not supposed to rust.

Titanium is one such metal and it's used in prosthetics. I can definitely see him using that material, along with some silicone mesh.

Although, seeing as electricity is being conducted through his limbs and titanium is not a good conductor... There could also be some copper involved? (That one also doesn't rust).

But! Because electricity is being conducted, maybe sitting in water Does Make Him Feel Weird. I guess that would only be the case if he'd activate that function while taking a bath, which. Uh. Why? (But you could argue his chest piece needs constant energy; electricity? Because it's probably connected to his heart, if it's not part of his actual heart)

I'm also thinking he could be A Lite Bath Disliker because of um. His Torture Pool Experience™ in North.

[c0l0re]

To this day I have so many Feelings about Yume Nikki, and especially its main character, Madotsuki. She is such a fascinating character despite the fact that she never says a single word or even directly shares her thoughts on anything. Just from exploring this girl's dreams, you can piece together so much about her life, her fears, people she knew and may have been close with or were afraid of, the list goes on

One particular interpretation I find very interesting and actually have myself is that Madotsuki is transgender, specifically a trans woman. The amount of imagery in Yume Nikki that can be easily viewed through a trans lens is astounding, honestly

Monsters in the shape of genitalia that feels like a visual metaphor for gender dysphoria and discomfort or even fear of her own body, the insane about of imagery that has to do with feeling watched and/or scrutinized, the very clear themes of isolation and feeling disconnected from people, themes of being excluded by others and being treated as a threat or generally something "wrong", there's a lot here to support this. One thing that especially jumps out to me is that one area where you can find a version of Madotsuki herself literally hiding in a closet

Also effects that change her appearance are very interesting here, especially ones like the "long hair" and "blonde hair" effects, as that seems like it shows Madotsuki having some level of dissatisfaction with her appearance, maybe that she's not living up to certain beauty standards, or that she isn't "feminine enough" in her usual presentation. Also the "fat" effect make me wonder about this, whether that be because she sees herself as too fat, and that effect is like the way she sees herself even if it's not the case, which would suggest some form of body dysmorphia and possibly even an eating disorder; or maybe on the other side, that she sees herself as too skinny, not curvy enough, thinks she's too small in general, etc. Effects like these seem to imply that Madotsuki has some pretty severe body image issues and doesn't like how she looks for one reason or another, and does very much read like a trans person being upset that they don't "look like" their true gender, or are generally dealing with dysphoria

The fact that Madotsuki also cannot actually talk to or otherwise meaningfully interact with anyone in her dream world also seems to show that Madotsuki feels very isolated and possibly unwelcome around others, or even that she's had a history of being excluded, pushed away, and ignored. Again, this reads like a trans person being perceived as "wrong" and being othered by the people around them, especially when they actually begin their transition. Even in her own mind, Madotsuki feels alone, unwanted, and excluded

Madotsuki is a heavily trans-coded character, and I think that all of what I've mentioned here shows that. I'm sure there's even more that you could read into even deeper, or other things I just forgot to mention that could support this even further, and I think that's just interesting. She's easily one of my favorite fictional characters ever, and a large reason for that is how she manages to have so much character, personality, and depth to her without there ever being a single line of dialogue, or any sort of conventional story or narrative structure at all

(Also thanks to @checkadii for inspiring this post with her response to a post I reblogged you're cool thanks for hyping me up lmao)

[devilish-parrot]

casting youtubers im subscribed to for the very real tally hall movie

and yes i am casting women too because why not

ross - nikki carreon

andrew - evasive (I LOVE HER SO MUCH PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT)

rob - drew gooden

joe - kurtis conner without a mustache

zubin - jarvis johnson

bora - mia cole

casey - danny gonzales

steve - rtgame

mary-kate and ashley olsen - chad chad with different hair colours

shia lebouf - jacksfilms

[rottindecay]

im going to go INSANE.

can all these Motley Crue fics NOT have some sort of daddy kink for ONCE?? GOD!!!!

lifes hard out here.

at this point i might just have to make some Motley fics myself.. maybe..

if Motley if your thing first of all, we NEED to be moosts!!!! and second of all, please send ideas in. i wanna write for my husbands but i have no idea what to do.

I can write for Tommy and Nikki but idk about Vince and Mick.... we'll see...

[freakynewdance]

babe wake up trans nikki is real

[starry-eyed-extraterrestrial]

I think I've finally puzzled this out.

Nikki is tall but has the attitude of a short person.

Vince is short and has the attitude of a short person.

Tommy is tall and acts tall.

And Mick acts tall but is short.

[theghostbunnie]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK ABOUT NIKKI AND NERRIS IN THE NEW EP I LOVE YOUR OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING

(bcs they're scarily similar to mine)

TYSM????❤️♥️💕💝 and I always have so many opinions I'm the fuckin yapinator

I was literally talking just the other day about how Nikki has a detachment from feminity as she's literally been reprimanded for doing it wrong before even her two best friends doing an 'eh' with an iffy handshake when she even REFERS to herself as a girl and I do strongly believe it's bc she's at that age where she's learned feminity does equal something shameful or weak, or in her case maybe even thinks it makes you mean and shallow. While SIMULTANEOUSLY still being a young feminist and trying to not have that subconsciously!!! Creates a sort of "it's for others not for me" mentality accidentally bc she's supposed to be Nikki™ and thinks she'll be less respectable, or less herself if she's feminine.

But she's actually been this way in the show before she's willingly wore pink on two occasions willingly, as casted as Juliet, and wearing Indian traditional clothing. (I'd argue even further on the second one as it wasn't given to her for play but she made it!! And it was pretty!!) In the episode Neil and her get stuck in the flowerscouts he just WAKES UP with makeup and a seaweed wig on and I'm firm that like she did that and knows how to lmao. (Further proved by her literally doing her own makeup in this episode)

But back on topic yeah when she was enjoying herself until she realized ofc her worries weren't upfront exactly "oh no I look girly!" It was oh no I look like a FLOWERSCOUT, a "type" of feminity she's tried to push away from bc she associates it with a specific type of woman, and worries who she is as a person if she likes this.

I hope the fandom takes this episode as Nikki being a more rounded character instead of like, just erasing her masculine side or something :/

Bc most importantly; Nikki's expression of feminity in this episode *wasn't performative* she was doing it by herself for how it felt

ONTO NERRIS

I love their character ok like everyone in camp campbell is an asshole in their own way and their own degree, and I know early fandom liked to demonize the hell out of Nerris but I actually love how their character flaws compared to the other campers way more just scream "child" to me. They do shit and I go "yeah this is definitely a character acting immature with not a full grasp of their actions" and it's cute in a way to me idk!!! Like girl that's someone's DIARY WHY DID YOU POUR YOURSELF SOME JUICE AND KICK YOUR FEET AND GIGGLE READING IT YOUR SO SILLY ! Nerris often prioritizes themself in selfish ways but also in very childlike ways so yeah reading someone's diary because they connect with them and gain a little crush on them through that is adorable, esp jumping straight to "is this LOVE?"

Nerris liking girls- also something!!! Hinted towards in past episodes!! ((Nikki too some people call It "just admiration" but she literally has blushed at Ered and called her "my baby")) Nerris' scene where they're profusely sweating asking Ered to hang out with them i want to say could be a sign she has a crush on her too, but honestly? I'd be more inclined to believe the "it's just admiration" argument more here, I could see it going either way.

NERRIS WITH NIKKI THOUGH, IN NIKKI'S LAST DAY ON EARTH, Does that god modding type play little kids do where they narrate what they want to happen and get huffy when the other kids don't play along, which again back to my previous point of Nerris honestly being a small time offender compared to most the cast and also adorable.

But specifically she was trying to lowk boss Nikki into running into her arms and to me that's always been🫵🤨🏳️‍🌈⁉️

So I find it really funny how Ered, a character most the fandom hasn't really paid attention to or been a favorite or anything, always gets HC'd as a lesbian (often just for the jokes, or because her parents are gay, or because she's colored hair pronouns and skateboard/hj)

Absolutely no hate to the HC itself I'm sure there's someone who loves her character alot who has it but sometimes you can kind of tell when most are just slapping labels on characters they don't care about, and Ered out of the three of them is the ONLY one who hasn't shown cannonically interest in girls??? 😭 Like most of the cast, hasn't in anyone or any gender!! Nerris and Nikki have been exceptions in that, and now it's even official for Nerris!

Nerris and Nikki have cannonically only shown interest in girls. Unless some specific brief scene is slipping my mind atm/gen

ALSO GONNA TALK A LIL MORE ABOUT ERED BC I LOVE HER also need to specify the difference between a hc and a theory RN as I know it's very likely not cannon but the fact Ered doesn't know a lot of "being a woman" or periods (like an alarming amount missing for someone 14 ALSO CAN I GLOAT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT BEING RIGHT SHE WAS 13 IN S1-S4 !!??? OTHER PEOPLE WOULD SAY LIKE UP TO LIKE 17 SOMETIMES) (also context it's bc she says "other freshmen" and freshmen are 14-15.)

You could argue she simply is a late bloomer but girl you yelled at the word uterus like you simply can't understand 🏳️‍⚧️🫵🤨⁉️⁉️ and "what happens at NIGHT TIME??" like the whole conversation gave me the vibe she only knew things on a surface level and wanted to know more simply to be included!! I also wanna point out Ered never says anything that could confirm or deny she even gets one, just that Gwen thought she did, which could've been assumption or simply the wording she chose to phrase.

[what-do-you-mean-theyre-evil]

Maybe I'm already jaded with the world but I'm tired of teenage-20 something vampires.

I want a milfs and dilfs, I even prefer gilfs, I want people on the opposite side of the spectrum. You know people who lived their lives but aren't ready to go yet.

I want a vampire parent beating the absolute shit out of a "younger" vampire for trying to turn a child because, “are you out of your goddamned mind you utter sack of shit!?!”

Personally want a vampire grandparent who goes around adopting "younger vamps" and fledglings who were made because a vampire was lonely (*cough* Carlisle *cough*)