#no bc i didnt understand a thing LMAO
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sooo i just finished watching murder drones. literally what the fuck just happened
#no bc i didnt understand a thing LMAO#it was really good tho#i think my favorite character is cyn#she’s just so….
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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sorry im gonna be an asshole but if my dad knew he couldnt take care of us with the progression of his diseases then why did he fight so hard for custody. im 20 yrs old i shouldnt still be thinking abt this but still like. a billion years of neglect the fact that he is sick is irrelevant when he knew very well that he wouldnt meet our basic needs. sorry. and now its on me to take care of 2 mostly-adult teenagers who hate my guts and still think they're 12 years old and cant go to the store. or clean. or whayever. AGHHHHHHH
#i dont know why everyone is in this dream world where we're still so young. even my dad acts like im out of line by staying somewhere other#than his house. like im 14. and again. my sisters just genuinely seem like they dont understand that theyre grown now. cant we all just tak#care of ourselves? ??#if he didnt have custody i would have hated both of them even more but at least we would have been taken care of#every time i have this conversation with him hes like 'but i cant do anything..!' he can. ive seen that he can. he works from home hes on#the god damn couch all day. most of his work days hes just on tiktok waiting for people to call him. he doesnt do much of anything. youre#telling me you cant do the dishes or go to the store just once in a while ?#and then he says like. but thats what my spouse would do for me blah blah .................. single people still manage to feed themselves#somehow/. maybe its magic. maybe im an asshole for saying this. but seriously. dont be like this and then get angry that i like staying at#my moms better. there i just have to worry about myself. and because of that im more apt to do things for other people! bc im not#burned out all the time !#this is so dumb to complain about im 20 like. shut up. but wah its just tiring after like.... 10 years. lmao
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You think he's looking lovingly at you - But it's nowhere near the truth - His mind is up to no good - Oh, just because you're in the same bed - He's with someone else in his head, not a second thought about you - Oh, there's no turning back
#kny sabito#sabito#giyuu#fratboy sabito posting#neros art tag#water pillar swap au#up to no good(the hoosiers)#story of the song doesnt really go with the story of the au but Meh#manwhore monday amirite#more focus on the 'his mind is up to no good - hes with someone else in his head not a second thought about you'#also! hes an adult/slayer/hashira i just put him in his normal shit bc i didnt want to hide beloved Necc#hes off duty dont worry abt it#also i changed the haori to him just wearing both instead of 1 split- he knows the haori was important to giyuu but was his *sister's*#so he found and kept the mask bc it was the only thing that was giyuu and giyuu's alone#i was gonna do a comic thing abt him having auditory processing disorder but i got Quite distracted by this#mostly bc i dont have a fucking clue what the conversation could be about other than he dont understand SHIT#thats how he gets misunderstood for the waterpillar role lmao he kinda just. doesnt listen.#if he doesnt understand someone the first time he doesnt bother trying to ask or figure it out. pretends he didnt hear it in the first plac#easier than trying to get them to repeat but only being louder and no less clearer#the slayers at the water estate kinda figured out you have to state shit Very Clearly not just. volume#he cant understand> pretends not to hear> slayers get his attention and repeat> he still cant understand> 'stop fuckin mumbling'#the few who tried just raising their voice got yelled at and/or smacked until they figured out to enunciate shit better w him#also im mostly thinking abt this au bc im thinking of the AfterAlt ver#i dont think ive mentioned AfterAlt.. when giyuu's supposed to die to the slayer mark he respawns in an alternate universe a little while#before the time he meets the kamados. its both an excuse to put him in situations and to torment him to watching his friends die over and#over again in various different ways to the original :)#anyways afteralt x wp roleswap sabito puts him in a choke-hold On Sight#ive realized choke-hold is the wrong word for that im describing. i mean a literal choke hold. he grabbed him by the neck
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#personal#i think that like... the dam's broken. for lack of a better term#or i guess the ice ???? idk man#either way. been messaging back n forth with him like crazy for the past few days#i just decided that like.... whatever. if i feel like saying something i should just say it to him !!!#and i think me being open has led to him being open....#god its so hard when both ppl only really talk when they have something to say JFJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJD#like... i cant even make up a reason to talk to him. i cant pretend to be dumb n not understand anything. he'll know its bullshit NDJDJDJDN#n e way...... defs met my match here lmao. but really its been so nice just being able to talk to him when i want. bc waiting until being i#person was getting so !!@@@ long !!! like god. i didnt know i could miss someone so bad...... its so !!@@@@@@#gah !!!!!!!!!!!!#n e way. things are goin in the right direction#and hahaha !!!!!!@ i have a game plan to make sure we stay in touch too !!!!! me n one of my other friends promised to keep in touch with#each other and i was like oh should we invite everyone else. and she was like oh !! maybe ____ so i was like !!!!!!!!#so true !!!!!!!!!!@#gosh im so excited i really like them both so much we're all similar temperaments so ya..... ive wanted to make sure i keep them JFJFJFJD#n e way. we still havent asked him but hopefully he says yes !!!! bc he always sits behind us n im just like !!!! ik you wanna sit with us#so just sit beside us istg !!!! but ah ... i think hes shy#god hes so cute#and shes like not competition btw. like..... she has a bf. she knows i like this guy now (i spilled. i couldnt hold it in 💀💀💀). and ya !!#hopefully exciting things coming!!!
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Back on that damn zoroark wiki page
#sigh. anways#h!zoros are said to have come back to life after death from a harsh environment which for some👏🏾reason👏🏾 i didnt register as a#u!zoro dying and coming back different (probably bc time n history why would the ancestor derive from the descendant) but its not an#ancestor its just a zoroark thats fucked up bc the region its in#additionally i didnt understand why it hated people AND pokemon (and still didnt rlly understand the ppl thing fully) but its cause they#were banished to the icelands by ppl and the pokemon there did not make it any easier so they died and came back from being so fucking Mad#and thats fucked up bc they are chill dogs!!!! so i get it id b mad too displaced by ppl u actively try to avoid and then u die in the only#place ur kinda allowed to be Plus the animals there are being jerks also ?? baneful fox is right#i feel like zoros still have a stigma abt them so i bet under the right conditions a modern zoro w the typing and nature of a hisuian one#is possible and i also wonder where the hisuian ones went cause i assume that ghost types dont die 2x and something w so much anger towards#everything its given the title of spiteful and baneful wouldnt just....go away that is a restless spirit lmao i cant imagine theyd just#move on so i like to think they r maybe just fuckin around in the mountains mostly unseen away from everything and maybe they r killin#things as just an unseen force idk i dont live in the sinnohan mountains#exhale Thats All!!!! known/common knowledge and assumed information but idc cause i wanted to talk anyways!!!#kae.txt
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#LMAO so i was just in the elevator with these two italian girls and they didnt know i was italian bcs i said please and thank you to them in#english#and they were saying some not very nice things about me bcs i had a wheelchair and they did not know i could understand them#so when i got off i told them ‘have a nice day’ in italian loud as hell so i knew they’d hear me FSHSJS#i didn’t see their faces bcs the elevator doors closed but i hope they felt mortified#i hate italians
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Personally I agree on the not relating everything to dsmp thing, but I’m not saying anything because Wilbur himself brought up having a previous child so this was the only logical outcome 🤷🏽♂️
i understand i just hate it SO BADDD LMAOOO specifically the fanfics (im just trying to read some dadbur fluff WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABT FUNDY AND ANGST) i really enjoy them calling back to dsmp lore as jokes bc it feels like a funny inside joke everyones in on but jfc sometimes the way some ends of the fanbases take it boil my blood idk
#i understand why ppl do it but omg it makes me so mad LMAO#some lore abt me is that ill find a way to complain abt everything and i have infinite pet peeves#AND im a self aware hypocrite so im not afraid to say i didnt care abt fundy angst during dsmp era bc i hated how everyone villified#c!wilbur and i wanted to woobify him#SUE ME 🫣#this is not trying to bash on ppls creativity i just want to be a hater 💔#i just have this inhuman urge to hate on things sorry yall 🫶#ALSO for those tiktok comments that use the damn good place audio “why does she get that mom i wanted that mom” for fundy and tallulah#ENOUGH. YOU ARE ANNOYING#peace and love ❤️#wilbur soot#qsmp#tallulah
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i dont actually read a lot of mairuma fic and i havent written any either bc its one of those medias that is so satisfying to me as it is and when i want it i just reread it but. recently i have been tossing around some ideas so maybe. it will happen
#kalego the guy of all time <3#rn its just a post harvest festival trauma fallout idea#and then a comedy idea which just popped up about uh. lmao#kalego post-deviculum 5+1(?) where he keeps realizing stuff that makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE#kalego when he finds out he's iruma's familiar bc iruma is human: you have got to be kidding me#literally i scribbled down the premise as '5 times things made way more sense and 1 time it still didnt'#and its just tickling me#BUT. WE'LL SEE IF I EVER FINISH ANYTHING#ely talks#i DO have a mairuma obsession but i truly just. dont do much with the fandom#so i feel like not that many people understand how much i rot about it on like. a genuine daily basis LOL
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Maybe I'm just desensitized from dealing with like cptsd probably ocd neurotic soup unchecked for my whole life and finding ways to just phase out the chatter of it but seeing ppl here talk abt moral ocd and stuff in a way where they refuse to be reminded of racism or anything is baffling to me. Like I don't get how that's helpful for you, instead of separating thoughts and morals from yourself and your actions you're just going oh no my religious ocd is triggered when ppl talk about me having privilege or benefitting from systemic oppression so therefore I'm never going to interact with marginalized people who talk about it ect ect ect. Or proship ppl being like it's too hard to take a stance against incest and age gap ships so they're just no holds bars for it now. Like again maybe I'm being mean, being online is hard I do think the way ppl talk is especially triggering for ocd and the whole born good born bad self flaggelation for forgiveness stuff never be wrong takes especially eat at me but they are symptoms ultimately and letting it box you out from ways you can actually genuienly improve as a person feels wildly unhelpful to me. Sitting with guilt and understanding what is real harm thats been done by you and actual bad things you believed and what is the brain chatter is crucial.
#ig it's just that unpacking that and ingrained beliefs and the urge to be centered and coddled is#something you have to be doing regardless and i kind of jsut cant respect not doing that#like i care abt ballroom there is a ballroom scene here and my ruminations can play up on anything like#i absolutely cannot engage with the ballroom scene here its not a space for pakeha reslly and i dont want to come off as a white drag race#fan who isnt aware of privilege and wants to be inserted everywhere egotist ect maybe even being into drag at all is problematic ill never#understand ballroom bc i didnt go thru enough and bc im white and z and x and x#and like THAT is disordered thinking that is feedjng off scraps of white fragility and online discourse#but there is truth that the scene here is intimate and new and primarily for maori and pacific and takatapui and that is how it needs to be#like i hope im not wildly off base. idw be one of those ppl who are like just found out abt opression im going to make myself the singular#voice and educator on it coughing at breadtube phenomena kinda thing right right right#like just white ppl bouncing obvious things they just learned back and forth to feel more progressive#i just think ocd isnt a good reason to feed into the left cannibalizes itself cant say anything these days isms of it all and the like#ohhh ur a puritan bc u think cp is bad parts of the net#my self analyzing and ruminations are a thin line but it has genuienly improved me to understand that#your shame and guilt whether it's rational or disordered or not isn't the center of the world and does not need to be coddled#anyway LMAO it did spend 5 hours writing this bc it is disordered and got stuck on it#long post
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I hope you have a peaceful, good rest of your day! I wanted to ask if there is anything that you’re working on that you’d like to gush about? Mahalo!
thank you! if youre talking abt the drawing side of things, i havent been doing anything at all bc ive been focusing on my job </3 ive just been doing small doodles and sketches here and there
i guess i'll talk abt stuff im doing for my job then! im currently interning at a 3d animation company focused on making 2 original animated series, theyre like. funny shows with slapstick comedy aimed at kids and teens? i started working there with just making some props, but ive been learning how to animate and do actual scenes on my own. my boss has been considering getting me to help with the voice acting too and thats also smth ive wanted to try for years so thats exciting!!!
i'll think about posting the links to the episodes ive worked on once they get uploaded if you guys are interested to see what ive been doing :)
#allyanswers#lucky-peenut#ask#im mainly worried that. theyll have my real name on there somewhere bc.#i'll be doxxing myself if i post abt it then LMAO#so unfortunately if i dont ever show you guys what i do for my job i hope you can understand that im doing it for my safety </3#id LOVE to talk abt what ive done im having so so much fun learning 3d stuff again bc i didnt get to learn much during classes last year#my laptop was too bad to keep up with everything i needed to do.. but everyone at work is super kind and theyve taught me many things#im glad i found a nice little job i can see myself staying for a long time#anyways thats abt it thank you for letting me ramble abt work :)
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I have an interview tmr for a possible teaching assistant job. but I realllyyyy really don't want to fucking go
#the interviewer is rly nice ive spoken to him already its not like nerves or anything#I dont rly wanna go into teaching but I do have experience so I'm getting interest from recruiters.. I need a job and the pay is alright#the main thing is that background checks are so comprehensive + they want 3 references and I. dont have that many lmao#but its non negotiable cuz anything involving kids or vulnerable ppl has rly high standards. understandably ofc#so I need to email a couple ppl from my degree to ask if they would be willing to give me a ref but I REAAAALLLLY dont want tooooo#bc I fucking dropped out of my masters this year and didnt tell my tutor beforehand. so its just rly fucking awkward to ask NOW#like I feel kinda physically sick just trying to draft this email theres smth rly humiliating abt it. man im gonna cry again#but I have to do it bc this interview is tomorrow and I need to submit the form w references before then ive been putting it off#ugdhfhcbncjhfjfbfbfh. and even if my tutor is cool w it I still only have 2 refs so I need to find a third and just. mannn#i have a massive adhd block w filling out forms too fucking hate this shit what if I just cancelled the interview ahahahahahahhha#its like a physical fucking pressure preventing me doing anything abt it i hope i get hit by a bus so its not my problem anymore whatever#.vent#fucking hell. whatever im gonna go make lunch
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i do fr need to work on differentiating between "actually middleclass" and "doesnt live paycheck to paycheck" lmao bc that is something i struggle with... obviously ik i have more in common with like. even somebody whos fr middleclass disney vacations every year. I know i have more in common with them than i do with bezos but god at least i dont have to see bezos being annoying in front of me every day KJANDJKLNLJD
#bc its like this. i obviously have way more contempt for a billionaire. obviously. but ive never met an actual billionaire yfm. and i Have#met middleclass ppl and A lot not all but a lot. are so insufferable and ikkkk not all of them or whatever but like. i constantly got shit#for being poor from middle class kids and like. ik im supposed to be class solidarity with them bc were all poor when compared to a#billionaire but goddd fucking damn they make it difficult . ik its like well the upperclass Wants the lowerclass and middleclass to be at#eachothers throats bc it means they dont pay attention to the upperclass walking over the both of them. i knowwww. but i can multitask#major in hating rich people minor in hating the middleclass...#THIS ISNT RLY RELATEDFTO THE LAST POST AT ALL i just have a lot of like. complicated feelings abt classism basicallyy.#like. i wouldnt wish poverty on anybody it fucking sucks. but as a kid i did sometimes fantasize abt swapping lives with my classmates who#had more money than me Not even bc i wanted to live their life but just so they would like. see the apartments i lived in and see the room#i shared with both of my siblings (weeman didnt exist yet lmao) and just like. look in the fridge. bc i just rly wanted ppl to get it lol..#there was this one assignment that was like. wants vs needs and ppl kept putting needs as like. A big backyard. vacation once a year. my ow#personal bedroom etc and ik they were kids but it was like. insanely frustrating to have these kids who had like. never had to live without#Wants. yk. bc then i would just write down like. food. shelter. water. thats it lmao i even had clothes as a want instead of a need. and#they were making fun of me bc my list was so short and its like . look man i have gone without these three things on multiple occasions. yk#and now i try to be like. its good that there are ppl who have never experienced that i dont want ppl to have to experience that especially#like. that was in 4th grade lol. i was 9. i shouldnt have been worrying abt bills and stuff and none of my classmates knew anything abt tha#and thats a Good thing they shouldnt have. but theres this selfish part of me that wishes they did KANDJNS bc its so insanely isolating to#have ppl like. interrogating you abt why your shoes are so worndown or why your winter jacket is too small yk. and you cant say 'my family#cant afford better/new ones' bc they dont even understand what money is. yk. IDK. im just very sensitive abt these kinds of things KANDNW..#perhaps a bit too oversensitive at times but yk. im working on it and im working on not being spiteful abt it bc like. yes it was isolating#but it was a good thing that the kids didnt relate to it yk. kids shouldnt relate to that and i shouldnt have felt that way bc no kid shoul#im also Ik i bring it up constantly but im still so mad abt that time my friends heard me say Yeah i have to go to court against my dad nex#wednesday . and they didnt say anything and then one of them went Ughhh my dad wont buy me the newest iphone hes buying me the newest#samsung instead But i have an iphone app that i spent 50 dollars on that wont transfer !!!!!! and then she endedup getting the iphone#anyways. sry ikk its grudge and i need to let it go but im still peeved... brinn there are people that are dying .#and also now i know that like. a lot of the other kids in my class Did understand and were just like. posturing. yk. a few of those kids#were from the same neighborhood as me lmao i was just too autistic to realize we werent supposed to be honest 💀 but yes. sry for this like#manifesto i am just thinking out loud..... well not bc this is text famously a written form of communication but we all understand. anyways
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baldies gate is very difficult
#its so confusing LMAO at least for me who knows next to nothing abt dnd#i dont understand how spells work and im getting stressed bc idk if quests rlly disappear if i dont complete them fast enough#but also i read that once you beat the main story its joever so maybe i should explore more but i feel like my character is wasting time#and is gonna die the next second if i dont progress the main story ⚰️ the green lady is doing a great job hammering that into my brain#anyway i cant take screenshots of my character bc my tv has fucked up colors and i made the character and guardian based on them#so when i look at a screenshot on the ps app and the colors are different im like '........ that is not my beautiful boy!!!!!'#like it rlly bothers me. anyway i chose a bard of course. very basic and again idk how to play so its all a mess hdjdjdjd#im hoping i figure it out soon bc it is such a cool game. just wish i understood anything </3#i love my character tho im very invested in his story. maybe i shouldve made my first character the 'goody two shoes' type#to make it easier LMAO#but as ive said before i rlly need to get myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to games#i didnt wanna just breeze past the game but actually consider my decisions. turns out its exhausting lmaooo#anyway sorry im rambling i like the game but im just dumb and stress out over things that dont matter way too easily
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#how is it that i can get only like 6hrs of sleep. go for an hr run up a mountain and still b wired#like ??? make it make sense??? im not even a lil tired. im considering going up thr mountain again#how does my body do this? im not even euphoric. i just habe too much energy#i just wanna smash things with a baseball bat. its so weird. i guess its not really an issue. i just dont understand it which bothers me#its either a mood thing or the hyper disorder :-/ but like idk how i havent noticed it before#like have i always been like that? i have evidence going back to 2019 but i didnt actually notice it until the last year for real#...i guess there is maybe a reason i didnt have so much energy before this but ya kno#whatever. i can try to find a therapist in like 10 days or something. so ill try to figure it out lol#idk im just vibing bc im sorta unemployed rn. i mean ive been hired as a TA but dont meet for that until thurs but im not at my research#assistant job anymore as of Friday. so i can do whatever tf i want. except im still working on my data 🙃 bc im fucked up like that#hopefully the energy lasts. or maybe not bc idk how i would fucking sit in an office at a desk like this#jesus. im like: me having adhd is impossible. but also me: having to do 3 things at once to pay attention and fucking dancing while i liste#bc i cant sit still. listen. i wont believe it until someone diagnoses me. but it wouldn't not make sense#ugh. i wanna run up the mountain again. but last time i was running twice a day to get rid of energy i fucked up my leg and its still#fucked up. but like not enough thst it hurts to walk so i still run on it. maybe ill go see a doctor once my new insurance kicks in lmao#oh Jesus my brain. maybe im just happy to havr all my insurance bullshit cleared up. i guess thats a bonus to living in like libertari4n#land. less regulations than my last state in terms of car insurance lmao#or maybe im nervous abt thr start of the semester. its gonna b a fucking wild ride lol#unrelated
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#im literally so NDJDJDJJDJDJDNDN#idk how i didnt see this b4......... but like LOL why did i think things could only develop from seeing each other in person#like if we message.... its pretty much the same as like those brief interactions we were havin anyway b4/between/after class#also.... much more doable JJDMDDJD#god i feel so....... !!!!!! fool.....#idk i think i just need to worry about it less....... things will progress still ... ya NDJDJJDJDJDJDJD#idk this is the first time im experiencing this.... so im just ???? clueless#plus like i havent wanted to keep in touch with anyone since high school. so its like. trying to do that while also having like adult#responsibilities is hard djdjdjsjkdjdj#hhhh anyway#proud of myself for coming this far lmao. thought i was broken for awhile bc i like. didnt know that you were supposed to pursue crushes#i thought it was just a fun thing JDJDJJDDJD until one of my friends in 9th grade was like oh so are you gonna make a move ???#and i was like lol wut#but now i understand. i really do. it only took 29 years LMAO GOD.#personal#wait i should clarify that my friend said that to me while we were in 9th grade JDJDJDJD the way i wrote it sounds weird
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