#no circus for halsin

[astarionformayor]

Benji smells Halsin, OP - bumbleRhizal on Youtube

[elunee]

Astarion

Astarion: Oh good, puns. Because clowns aren't enough of a horror already.

Player: You love the spotlight, don't you, Astarion? Here's your big chance. ['Astarion -1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minsc 2', 'Halsin 1']

Astarion: What? No. Don't you dare. This isn't funny.

Clown: Ooof - my heart! The enthusiasm is… too much! Now, up, up - double sharp! Or poor Buddy will think you don't like him. Right there - perfect!

Player: Go on, Astarion! ['Astarion -1', 'Gale 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 2', 'Halsin 1']

Astarion: Of course, what fun! I'm going to fucking kill you.

Gale

Gale: Hmm. Not to my taste, but I'll take a clown over some hack magician pulling peonies from his breeches.

Player: Gale, you're good at tricks, right? Up you go. ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Gale: Truly? I might as well go mount the gallows.

Player: Go on, Gale! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale -1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Gale: You truly are testing the patience of a man who could level a city if he wished, you know.

Shadowheart

Shadowheart: Gods, I hate clowns. I'm not even sure clowns like clowns.

Player: I think my friend Shadowheart will make a far better assistant.['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 2', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Gale 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Shadowheart: Are you quite sure you have a friend called Shadowheart? Not an enemy?

Player: Go on, Shadowheart! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 2', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Gale 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Shadowheart: I'd advise you find someone to taste your food from now on.

Karlach

Karlach: Oof. No. Sorry Dribbles.

Player: Go on, Karlach, up you go. ['Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Halsin 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Karlach: Hang on now, soldier, I'm not paying for your sins.

Player: Go on, Karlach! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 2', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Karlach: This had better be violent, sexy, or both.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel: Can we not find a more pleasant amusement? Gouging out our own eyeballs, perhaps?

Player: This is your time to shine, Lae'zel - up you go. ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel -1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 2', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Lae'zel: Tsk'va. You can't be serious.

Clown: Ooof - my heart! The enthusiasm is… too much! Now, up, up - double sharp! Or poor Buddy will think you don't like him. Right there - perfect!

Player: Go on, Lae'zel! ['Lae'zel -1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 2', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Lae'zel: Chk. And here I thought ceremorphosis was the ultimate torment.

Halsin

Halsin: Why is that daubed fellow being forced before a crowd like so? Is he being punished? Ritualised humiliation?

Player: Lend him a hand, Halsin. ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1']

Halsin: The local customs are... veiled to me. Are you sure this is wise?

Player: Go on, Halsin! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Gale 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Halsin: Very well... Oak Father, shield me in the trials to come.

Wyll

Wyll: Between you and me, I love a good clown - and Dribbles is the best.

Player: I think this is a job for the Blade of Frontiers, don't you, Wyll? ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Wyll: I'm no so sure...

Player: Go on, Wyll! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Wyll: Well - if you insist.

Jaheira

Jaheira: Heh. What? Shut up.

Player: Well, Jaheira? Care to make your debut? ['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Jaheira: You think I haven't mounted a stage before? Though be warned, clown - if you mean to throw knives, I will throw them back.

Player: All hail the High Harper! ['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Gale 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Jaheira: You understand the nature of a secret organisation, yes?

Minsc

Minsc: Heh. HEH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Player: Minsc would be honoured. ['Astarion 2', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Minsc: Honoured is Minsc! But be warned, jester - none may juggle my hamster but me.

Player: Go on, Minsc! ['Astarion 2', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Halsin 1']

Minsc: On closer inspection, Boo, this clown does not much look like the jolly sort...

Minthara

Nightwarden Minthara: Just give the word, and I will kill the clown. We would be praised as heroes.

Player: My good friend Minthara is the funniest person I know. ['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Minthara -1', 'Halsin 1']

Nightwarden Minthara: Am I indeed? Perhaps I will tell my favourite joke. It is about you, bleeding to death.

Player: Go, Minthara! Tell the one about the man who married a drider! ['Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']

Nightwarden Minthara: It was a beautiful webbing.

[bear-bear-bear-bear-bear]

[good-grade-in-cleric]

wanted to see what would happen if benji sniffed someone tadpole-free

[elizabethrobertajones]

Oh wait oh no... Astarion is in his 200s, Halsin is in his 300s... Astarion is destroyed by no one saving him sooner... Halsin is tormented by his own inaction and inability to have saved the Shadowlands sooner... exactly the sort of guy to eat the exact pain Astarion is radiating and become tormented that he was alive that whole time and somehow didn't magically know to fly to Baldur's Gate and save him in all that time...

And I'm here getting ready to smash the barbie dolls together with no remorse about the 1000 psychic damage Halsin might take on acquiring a mean little vampire boyfriend...

Oh well :)

[tenderlambkin]

One year in simping

Please DO throw suggestions at me 😎👉️

Template under the cut.

[princesstiannah]

I don't know how to share a screenshot cause I play on PS5, but I got my team all covered in blood (Astarion looks sooo good covered in blood) and then put on clown makeup. I thought they'd wash their faces first, but nope. It's disturbingly hot. Then I got my Halsin cut scene, yep, still in clown makeup!

[littlegalerion]

....Moon took her friends to the circus only to find out that everyone present considers themselves "intimate" enough to take a "lover's test" with her...

Moon and Gale, at Karlach and Halsin:

Karlach and Halsin, in response:

[mlkmart]

thinking about...thinking about tav (bg3) just... fucking spine broke coochie broke hole broke and bruised probably i dont know i cant imagine having a 500 pound bear on top of you somehow wont end up with you coming out like you just got out of a massive fight all black and blue and bruised like.... how are they going to explain to the rest of the party that the reason theyre limping and sore and have fucked up scoliosis and ulgy forming bruises on their legs and thighs all of a sudden is because...because.... well how are they gonna have that conversation larian?? like "oh yeah i fucked a bear with a massive cock! split me right in two!" while their companions just stare at them in horror like:

👁👄👁

there is no coming back from that now they will forever be known as the bear fucker you cant come back from that im literally loosing my mind

[transkingcobra]

Proving his love with blood all over his face

It’s fitting

[bear-bear-bear-bear-bear]

we did not like orin’s surprise

[wildspaceyokel]

Take us very, very seriously

[jacobharvest]

Went to the Circus today

[agent-jaselin]

Calem traumatizing poor Halsin and annoying Astarion by both of them coming to a rock concert in Eorzea with him like “it has never been so obvious who the youngest member of this polycule is”

[fkitwebhaal]

Sometimes you put scenes into your fics that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot but you think are too amusing to leave out:

“I’ve been trying to convince Gale to let me be his wingman if he decides he wants to get back out there,” Rune mused. They knew they had the perfect topic when Astarion snorted, bubbles coming up on the tub. The conversation of Gale’s post-Mystra rebound was a topic of the camp recently, and for good reason; Gale seemed to have finally realized his former relationship with the Goddess wasn’t a healthy one. Recently, Wyll saw him trying to flirt with another wizard from Sorcerous Sundries, use of illusions included. Given the amount of dark topics that dominated camp these days, the party had jumped to gossip over such low stakes.

Gale thankfully didn’t mind and appeared a combination of amused and touched by their collective interest in his happiness. He’d indulged them by offering to consider letting one of them play wingman and Lae’zel, Wyll and Rune had all jumped at the opportunity. Wyll had offered because he was deeply enamored with true love and romance. Rune had offered because they hated Mystra.

Lae’zel had offered because Astarion offered her a nice amount of gold pieces to throw her hat in the ring. That, and she was determined to prove that her direct “I want to taste you” approach did actually work on more than just Shadowheart.

[speed-demon-doodler]

Now, aside from the fact that Astarion looks so damn proud we pieced back the dead clown (maybe because he loves them so much, maybe because I just recently discovered you can toggle off helmets and he's been smiling this whole time (I was under the impression he usually smirks?))

but anyway, I love when the game checks with my own headcanons about characters.. if anyone should, makes sense that fey and fey adjacent people would see through Orion's facade! He's a "vintage" alright (His patron granted him theoretical immortality, he's atleast 500years old which is a lot for a bg3 tiefling).