#no clue if his middle name is really John or Tom just gave him one

[sigurdjarlson]

Greg headcanons?

*greg voice* ah I see you want some of the ol headcanons for Gregory J Hirsch...Gregcanons if you will haha-

1) his mother had him young and that’s partially why Ewan is so distant with him. He sees having Greg so young as something that ruined her life a bit and Greg didn’t even end up being worth it in his eyes. Oof.

2) As one would expect from someone raised by their mother, he’s a mamas boy. Unfortunately his mom isn’t the most maternal of people. She loves him but she’s similar to her father in a lot of ways, emotionally distant.

3) There’s always been some level of envy and jealousy Marianne projected when she talked about her uncle and cousins. Greg picked that up whether he realizes it or not, it’s where his almost odd sense of entitlement comes from. Why doesn’t he get anything? He’s got Roy blood too. Why didn’t Ewan give them things like Logan did? (not knowing the abuse inflicted on the Roy kids)

4) Greg didn’t have a lot of friends. He’s always been very socially awkward and a generally anxious person. He was an easy target. So when people act like that towards him now he’s used to it. He’s used to the perpetual disappointment that always radiates from his grandfather and mom. He’s used to being joke and people treating him like a fly at a picnic. Annoying and off-putting.

He can take a lot in regards to psychological pain, after all. (It bothers him deep down, how could it not but he chooses not to think about that)

5) Greg loves his grandfather and I think Ewan loves him deep down but Roys are incapable of healthy human relationships. It doesn’t stop Greg from wanting that connection from the only constant male figure in his life. He tries but gets rebuffed every time. It would be more shocking to him if he didn’t brush off his attempts at affection.

6) Greg doesn’t cry a lot. He panics and will dissolve into a pacing, anxious mess but he does not cry. Maybe it’s because he learned early that crying doesn’t make people come running any faster (Ewan often told Marianne not to come running every time Greg cried as a child or she would “spoil” him),

He’s learned it doesn’t fix anything it just earns him annoyed and exasperated looks from people he loves and he also learned it doesn’t bring people back when they leave either. So..he just doesn’t cry unless something really pushes him to his breaking point.

7) Greg has never felt wanted anywhere in his entire life. When Logan said he likes him he grabbed onto that with the desperation of a drowning man grabbing a life raft. Suddenly boar on the floor was water under the bridge because frankly he’s never felt wanted or even liked by his own mother or grandfather. Certainly not his dad who took off and never looked back.

8) His parents divorce wasn’t pretty. He remembers his mom crying herself to sleep at night for a long time after he left, he remembers them screaming at one another and exchanging harsh words when his father was still there. When he was a child he simply closed his eyes and hid in his room when they fought. When his mom cried he tried to comfort her but she only cried more

9) his mother as I mentioned earlier wasn’t the most maternal type. She loves Greg but is distant and harsh at times.

However he can remember being very sick as a kid (flu nothing deadly but he was super sick) and he remembers his mom running her fingers through his hair soothingly, bringing him soup. She was doing all that stuff moms should do. Caring for him and he..felt loved.

He would never admit it to anyone but sometimes he hopes he got sick again so she would do it again. Maybe he even pretends once and he cringes at the memory. How pathetic. (In his eyes)

10) The worst way anyone can hurt him his to simply..leave. He hasn’t yet wrapped his head around the fact that his grandfather might not EVER want anything to do with him now after the whole suing Greenpeace thing.

Some bonus +

11) if someone outright and genuinely said they were proud of him and like have him a hug he’d probably cry for the first time ages

12) he brought up the papers to Kendall on the plane after coming back from the bathroom. He felt genuinely shitty that Kendall was going to jail for him and realized he had the power to stop that. It was honestly such a rash decision on his part because there was no way he could be sure Kendall would succeed in the takeover.

13) even as he manipulates and betrays people he isn’t doing it maliciously. Greg doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He avoids it as much as he can in the sense he tries to keep himself neutral. He doesn’t want to make anyone unhappy with him. He wants to stay on everyones good side and still get the stuff he wants. The nature of the game however doesn’t allow for neutrality or for you to be everyone’s friend.

He doesn’t feel good when he hurts someone. Not only does he have a tendency to miss social cues that say he’s hurt someone but he just doesn’t really think about the consequences of his actions? He just acts. Which leads him to well be in the situations he gets himself into.

After the whole cruise situation however he realized no one is looking out for him. “Greg Sprinkles” and it hurts. He’d been wanting to be a part of this family but..he isn’t. Not really. It’s part of why it was so easy to turn around and help Kendall (even if he ends up turning on Kendall not long after. I think he’s just learning he can’t trust anyone in this family)

14) He loves Tom, more than he ever wants to admit even to himself but sometimes he also really hates Tom. He hates Tom for treating him like he does. He hates Tom for pulling him into the cruise situation and not letting him leave ATN. Most of all he hates Tom for making him love him and making him realize he really is just like his father.

15) Greg is a strangely forgiving person and it comes down to him not wanting to lose people. So he’ll forgive anything. It’s better than being alone. A kiss with a fist is better than none. Any anger or resentment he keeps deep inside him and maybe one day he will explode for our viewing pleasure

16) Greg is at his core, in this situation he’s found himself in, focused on survival. He’s been at rock bottom, he knows how miserable it is. He’s greedy because he’s never had these things before and now that he has them he doesn’t want to let them go. He doesn’t want to go back to how things were. He’s also becoming increasingly aware that no one has his back (except Tom and Tom is volatile and confusing so I wouldn’t be surprised if Greg had doubts about that)

So, there’s a desperation to survive in him that makes him capable of anything, for better or worse. He doesn’t have anything to fall back on if he fails. He’s going back to the bottom. The Roys will never have that problem, their father will never truly cut them off because he’d have to give up control of them. Greg if he plays the wrong hand might end up back in Canada, broke and nothing special again.

Luxury isn’t something special to the Roys. They have grown up with it. They expect it without even thinking about it. It’s new to Greg, it’s something special and it’s something that can easily be taken away. He doesn’t want it taken away.

He wants to be seen. He wants people to notice him and like him. He wants someone to tell him he’s worth something. He wants love. He wants affection and respect. He wants to belong. He wants financial security and then more. He wants to be taken care of and pampered. He wants to be a part of a family. He wants and wants. He wants a lot of things and he wants them all at the same time.

And as he watches his cousins, who are generally kind of shitty actually, get the world he wonders why he doesn’t get that too, he’s a Roy in everything but name right? (He wants to be one so badly) Doesn’t he deserve some too? What makes him less worthy than them?

[zodiyack]

Kiwi

Requested by @simonsbluee​: hi! can i request a Tommy Shelby story that’s based off the song Kiwi by Harry Styles? all good if you can’t :)

Pairing: Thomas ‘Tommy’ Shelby x Female!Reader

Warnings: Lyrics, angst, swearing, indications to smut

Song: Kiwi by Harry Styles

Words: 1,216

Summary: (See Request?)

Note: I had no idea what on earth to do for this so my apologies and also, fun-fact, I thought I remembered what kiwi was until I listened to it when I started writing and then had to pause and check what song it was- 😅

Edit: After having a friend proof-read it for me and getting their “go-ahead” to post this, I’ve decided to listen to them rather than sit and cringe at myself so uh... Here ya goooo

Key: Bold + Italic = Lyrics | Italic = Memories and sometimes emphasis

Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​, @stydia-4-ever​, @peakyxtommy​, @cai-neki​, @simonsbluee​, @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @peakysputain​, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​, @marquelapage​, @jenepleurepasbaby​, @thewarriorprincessxo​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist | Cillian Murphy Masterlist

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes, Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect. And all the boys, they were saying they were into it. Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck

Anyone could spot her in the Garrison, even if they had no clue who she was. Her outer demeanor was intimidating, with or without her husband. Y/n Shelby was one of the most feared yet yearned for woman in Small Heath, side by side on the list with her aunt-in-law, Polly Gray. No one dared act a fool when she was around. Then of course, that depended on their definition of the cringe-eliciting behavior.

Men constantly tried their luck with her. Easy to spot, she sat at a table in the middle of the bar with a cigarette in her hand and a glass in front of her as she conversed with her husband’s brothers. Every time a man came around, she shot them down without hesitation. This time no different.

“Are you without partner, miss?” A male on the younger side asked with a warm yet shy grin.

“Are you without brain, sir?” Her response was serious but held slight sarcasm. Everyone who knew of the blinders knew she was married to one of the many people they didn’t want to mess with. Insulting the poor man was far better than having his eyesight removed.

“N-no?”

“Hm, quite a surprise.” She looked down to her cigarette before flicking her eyes back up to the man. “Nevertheless, a man without brain nor eyes is the same as a man with brain and no eyes.”

The quiver in his voice almost made her feel bad for the quips she’d spat. But alas, it was only almost. “What...what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means yes, I do indeed have a partner.” The brothers around her chuckled and mocked the now cowering man, Y/n herself giving an amused smile and taking a drag of the stick between her fingers.

Tommy stood behind the man, looking at him with a blank expression once he’d turned around after backing into him. He lifted a brow, not once breaking eye contact. “She’s gorgeous, isn’t she.”

The man trembled, confused. “Y-yeah-” He stuttered as he shook with embarrassment.

“Her body, face, lips... Smart one too... She’s perfect. Too bad she’s spoken for.” Tommy muttered before walking over and sliding into the seat next to her. Y/n took the cigarette from her mouth and placed it between Tommy’s soft lips, lifting her eyes to his as she watched him endearingly.

Only one man could make the infamously feared woman smile in such an angelic manner. One man and one man only. His name, Thomas Michael Shelby.

She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it, but I'm into it, I'm kind of into it, It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it, Oh I think she said "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your, it's none of your"

In hindsight, Tommy should’ve listened to his aunt’s words of wisdom. She’d told him love is crazy and makes you crazy, even Y/n mentioned it a multitude of times. Being together was only half the happy ending. Driving each other up the walls, it only drew them closer. Y/n, Tommy’s better half and Tommy, Y/n’s.

Love really did have an impact similar to the legend shrouding it’s definition. And they loved love for it.

But then the darker side of Tommy’s occupation found time to object every good thing his life had to offer. Although it didn’t tear a hole in the romance, it knocked it into a spiral that was supposed to register it as perfectly normal, sane, and very boring. 

However, it hadn’t done anything large than strike a little worry into their hearts. What their enemy forgot was that nothing involving the Peaky Blinders was “normal” or “casual”, especially not boring.

It's New York, baby, always jacked up, Whole tunnels, foreign noses always backed up. When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus, In a black dress, she's such a such an actress

She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it, but I'm into it, I'm kind of into it, It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it. Oh I think she said "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

Tommy sent Y/n with his brothers and sister while he took care of things at home. He remembered holding her in his arms with a sincere apologetic but loving look in his blue orbs. The smell of her lingered on his collar. She refused to let go of him until John shouted that the train would be leaving without her had she stayed put.

“Wipe your eyes, my love. I’m not worth the tears-”

The sound of her palm coming into contact with his skin made Ada jump with a shriek from beside her other brothers. “Thomas Michael Shelby, don’t you dare fucking say that. That is...that is... It’s bullshit!” Tommy chuckled softly. Y/n couldn’t help but join in, “Stop laughing at me, you fucking- fucking bloody handsome asshole.”

“Alright alright... Promise me you won’t cry...at least, not anymore than you already have. For if you cry, it’ll break my heart and then I fear I won’t have the heart to see you off.”

“Tommy Shelby? Not having a heart? Are you sure me crying will be the cause in this scenario?” She jabbed with a giggle.

“Say what you’d like, Y/n, but my word remains true.” He pulled her closer and their lips collided. There, only for a moment, it felt like time had stopped just for them. “Go with them, stay safe and hidden, always carry your gun, and only have close friends deliver messages. They’re fucking listening on the telephones...”

It was the same things he’d said since they’d started planning this. Always with the essentials that probably really had no purpose to be labeled as essential, plus the minor setbacks that were more than likely never to happen.

Tommy was paranoid, but she couldn’t blame him. Thinking ahead and being prepared for the worst was better than not doing so and dealing with the consequences of unwanted surprise.

“I know. We’ve been over it a thousand times or more, Thomas. I’ll be fine,” she held his face in her hands as she took him in for the final time before her journey, “I promise.”

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your, it's none of your"

She sits beside me like a silhouette, Hard candy dripping on me 'til my feet are wet, And now she's all over me, it's like I paid for it, It's like I paid for it, I'm gonna pay for this

Their lips crashed together and thus began their dance. Practically made for each other, everything of Y/n fit perfectly with everything of Tommy. Their lips, bodies, personalities, everything. A rough performance, full of passion and lust, was regularly preformed after long days, trips, or times that didn’t cause the couple to be apart for agonizingly long periods of time, sometimes death-run-ins were audience enough for their show to sell.

Tommy refused to wait for words or sighs of relief. He would let her know verbally in the morning, if he was done with her by then. Thomas felt at ease once she was back in his arms, like the piece of himself that had been missing for far too long was finally where it needed to be.

If Y/n was to deny her liking of Tommy’s pleasant surprise, she’d be a liar.

Rarely did Y/n become the one in charge, so when she was handed the reigns, she didn’t miss a beat before getting into character. She was always his “right-hand-man” and now she had the chance to show that she was much more than the simple role.

By the end of the night, both had their fun and chance to participate as the leader to their waltz. Heavy breaths and messy exteriors, the two had shown each other the burning passion they held for each other that never died out. Tom swore to himself never to send his wife away unless her life absolutely depended on it.

It's none of your, it's none of your

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"

The night she sleepily entered their home for the first time since they’d parted ways at the train station, he’d given her passion. He’d given her all of him. He’d given her his control. He’d given her all the love he had. He gave her his child.

[magnusmysteries]

Part 32: When Rituals Fail

The Magnus Archives was a horror podcast. It is now completed. Many of the show’s mysteries were never explained on the show. I intend to explain them. Spoilers for the show, but also spoilers if you wanna solve these mysteries yourself.

Elias thought that the reason the rituals failed was because the fears could never be separated. That it would be impossible to bring just one through, it had to be all. I think he was wrong, for three reasons.

First reason. Here’s a quote from Elias, where he explains why it is impossible to separate the fears “To try and create a world with only the Buried makes as much sense as trying to conceive a world with only down.”

But we have seen such a world. Quote from Entombed “This is forever deep below creation. Where the weight of existence bears down. This is The Buried, and we are alive. There isn’t even an up.”

The Buried is a world without the Hunt. The Hunt can’t reach Daisy there, because the Hunt and Buried are opposites (See Part 3). Elias uses the absence of up, as an example of an impossibility. But John says in the Buried there is no up. I think this was specifically written to clue us in to Elias being wrong.

Second reason, every time we hear of a ritual there is always a reason why they fail. The reason isn’t always obvious, but I’ll go through most of them in this post. Elias based his conclusion on the assumption that there was no reason for the Dark’s ritual to fail. He was wrong, as I’ll explain.

Every attempted ritual, except the ones involving John and Agnes, has a group of people choosing something related to the fear. (With a broad definition of choice.) If only one person does not make the choice, the ritual fails.

The Lonely. A group of people in an apartment building were all supposed to choose to be lonely (rather than move out of the nice cheap apartment). Gertrude wrote about it in a paper, the people got help, they weren’t lonely, the ritual failed.

The Slaughter. The soldiers are supposed to brutally murder each other. But the statement giver doesn’t like killing. He is not swayed by the music, he does not join in on the violence. The ritual fails.

The Hunt. Daisy speculated this failed because the Hunt doesn’t like to complete things. She was wrong. The people were supposed to join in the obsession of the hunt, to kill vampires and probably to die. But the statement giver was only pretending to be obsessed, the ritual fails.

The Corruption. This is from the episode Love Bombing. (John was wrong that the Prentiss attack was a grand ritual.) Here the choice is to love. First they take care of a sick dog. That is, they love it. Then they have to love and join the monster mass of people.

The part where they have to say they love each other, it's a test, to see if they are ready for the ritual. The protagonist did not love the other woman, and so she is told to leave. She is jeopardizing the ritual.

Note that she is not forced to leave, or killed. Had there been force or violence the ritual would have failed. That’s another rule for the rituals.

I think when she left, it was already too late and the ritual failed. Or maybe it failed when it got blown up. Probably by Gertrude.

I think nobody in the cult was working for the Corruption originally. The Corruption just found a cult that was really into love and thought "Jackpot! Send in the dog!"

The Buried. The choice here is for everyone in town to get into the pit at the same time. When the statement giver comes to town, he is told to leave. But not forced, significantly. He is jeopardizing the ritual, because he might not climb into the pit with the others.

The statement giver has a “dream” where he willingly climbs into the pit and puts his arm into the hole. Though it’s not really a dream. This is a test, and he passed. Whoever’s in charge decides to go ahead with the ritual.

This is a mistake. The statement giver does not go into the pit with the others. A woman in the pit suddenly begins to scream. Not because she is in the pit, but because she noticed the statement giver is not in the pit. She knows the ritual is about to fail and it does.

Later Gertrude shows up and dumps Jan Kilbride into the pit. She thinks she stopped the ritual, but she was too late. The ritual had already failed.

The Flesh. The choice is for everyone to throw meat into the pit. (I’m guessing they also all have to die from exhaustion and get thrown in the pit or jump in, but we don’t see that part). When Tom Haan notices Lucia Wright is present, he hands her meat. He hopes she will take it and join in, which she does. Had she not done so, the ritual would have failed. If she had left, the ritual would have failed. If Tom had killed her or forced her to join in, the ritual would have failed.

The ritual fails anyway, because Gertrude blows it up.   

The Spiral. Quote from Michael “A thousand staring morsels stood, and not one of them believed themselves sane to look upon it.”

If one of the humans there had believed themselves to be sane the ritual would have failed.

Actually there was a person there who believed they were sane. More from Michael: “Michael did not go mad, though no words you could have said would have convinced him otherwise. (...) If Michael thought he had lost his mind, it was only because what he saw with crystal clarity was simply not something that could be real. But Gertrude Robinson did not waver. (...) She gave no indication that she saw anything more or less than was expected. Hers was not a mind that left room for doubt.”

Gertrude didn’t realize, but there was no need to sacrifice Michael Shelley. The ritual would have failed simply by her presence.

The Stranger. When John and the gang set up the explosives to blow up the Unknowing, Nikola does nothing to stop them. She knows they are there. She waits until they have set up the explosives before she starts the ritual.

There are no other victims there than the Magnus crew. They are the ones that are supposed to make the choice. The choice they are supposed to make is to use logic and reason during the Unknowing. Nikola has to give them a chance to win, and part of that is she lets them set up the explosives.

In the 1787 attempt at the Unknowing, the ritual is stopped by a soldier from the Slaughter. The soldier is not confused: “I was sure he was a soldier, and he was nothing but a soldier.”

In Nemesis Gertrude speculates that the Unknowing can only be stopped if the explosives are detonated from within Unknowing. Meaning, someone has to “choose” to use enough reason to set it off.

Just four victims is a small number. But I think John counts extra, since he is the Archivist and should be harder to confuse. 

Maybe Elias made a deal with Nicola, told her about their plan. After all, Elias wants John to get blown up, to get the End scar.

Elias advised John not to bring Tim to the ritual. Tim seems pretty suicidal at this point, earlier he dared Elias to kill him. Elias is worried that if Tim is the one to blow up the ritual, John won’t get the End scar.

The ritual fails because Basira reasons her way out. Or maybe it fails because Breekon uses violence against Daisy, not sure.

John is at first very confused, but then he starts to see more clearly. That is because the ritual is already failing, because of Basira (or Breekon). There is no need for Tim to blow up the place and sacrifice himself.

The Eye. We don’t know much about Elias' first attempt at a ritual, but it seemed to take place in the panopticon prison, with Elias in the middle, watching the prisoners around him. The prisoners were probably supposed to make some kind of choice, and at least one of them failed to do so.

The Dark. The darkness ritual first begins to collapse at Hither Green, where it is led by Natalie.

Quote from Manuella “Natalie and the others followed, but they did not truly understand. Not truly, with their talk of peace and unity and Mr. Pitch. A friendly name, to try and hide from a concept they couldn’t grasp.”

In the episode Police Light the darkness creature inside Rayner is trying to get a new host, by entering Callum Brody. Then the police intervene and shoot Rayner, saving Brody from being possessed. But a droplet of the monster hits the police officer Altman. Altman is in the process of being possessed. Then Altman is stabbed and killed by Natalie Ennis.

There is misdirection here. We are supposed to believe that Natalie stabbed Altman because he was a cop. But actually she killed him because he was possessed. She was secretly working against the darkness cult.

Why? Gertrude must at this point have realized how a ritual will fail if one person makes the wrong choice. She must have talked with Natalie and explained to her that Mr. Pitch is a lie. That the Darkness is not about peace and unity. So because of Natalie the ritual failed.

The third reason for why Elias is wrong is the most important, and I’ll cover it in the next post.

If Elias is wrong that a ritual must draw in all the fears at once, why is it that no ritual has succeeded throughout all of history? I think there just hadn’t been that many attempts.

In Family Business Gerard says if a ritual fails, it takes centuries to build up enough power to attempt one again. Yet we hear of several ritual attempts happening very close together in time: the Lonely circa 2007, the Spiral sometime after 2007, the Buried in 2008, the Flesh in 2008, the Corruption circa 2012, the Dark in 2015, the Stranger in 2017 and the Eye in 2018. How can that be?

In the Architecture of Fear, Smirke says he wrote down several rituals. Since Smirke lived a couple of hundred years ago, it could mean most of his rituals were attempted back then, and that’s why most of them were due to be attempted again around 2007. But that gives us the same problem, just further back in time. Why was it that most of the rituals could have been attempted about the same time, back when Smirke wrote them down?

I think the reason was, most of the powers had never attempted a ritual before Smirke designed them. The Powers have no creativity (see Part 9) and could not have attempted a ritual until a person came up with one. Smirke says he is unsure if all the powers had rituals before he put pen to paper.   

I think there were two rituals that Smirke designed that were attempted relatively long after his death. The Slaughter ritual probably needed a great war to succeed, and therefore did not happen until War War 2. And the Hunt ritual took over a hundred years to set up, as it included two groups of explorers from over a hundred years apart.

Three rituals predate Smirke’s creations, those of the Dark, The Vast and the Stranger. 

Smirke got his ideas for rituals after hearing of the ritual of the Dark. In Heart of Darkness, Manuella implies her ritual had been planned for three hundred years, after the failure that birthed the thing inside Rayner. I think when Flamsteed drowned Reimer in The Movement of the Heavens, he stopped the first ritual of the Dark. Reimer was drowned May 2 1715. On May 3 1715 there was a Total Eclipse that could be seen in London. (That date is from real life, not mentioned on the show.) I think that’s when the first Darkness ritual was gonna happen.  

The first Unknowing happened in 1787, Smirke was born in 1780. So unless he invented it as a child, it predates him.

In Big Picture Simon talks about the last ritual he attempted, in 1853. That implies he’s had at least one earlier attempt. Simon became an avatar in the 1500s, so he’d probably only had time to do two ritual attempts in total.

[lycorogue]

Blame Fate for This

I did it! It kept me an extra month to do so, but I did it! This is a completely original story dedicated to my buddy Ronoxym to celebrate his 30th birthday. Happy super-belated, Ron!

Also, thank you to my husband. After a week struggling to come up with a story idea - the perils of writing fanfiction all the time - it was Hubby who gave me a writing prompt that really spurred on this story.

I had fun researching and world building for this short story. I may have to slot it away in my "original content" folder for a potential novel idea in the (distant) future.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, but either way, I love you fine folks for spending time with my work.

You can also read the full story over on FictionPress or DeviantArt

---------------------------------------

Blame Fate for This

Summary: Colton has noticed the same girl following him every day for the past two months. However, when he tries to get away from his stalker things get way more complicated than he could imagine. He has powers no living creature is supposed to possess, and only Fate can figure out what that means for both Colton and the world.  Word Count: 6741

I stared at the face on the obituary page. Greta Meyer, age sixty-one, divorcee, mother of two and grandmother of one, survived by her daughters, one son-in-law, and one grandson. She had died suddenly of a severe heart attack in the middle of the night. Her family had lunch with her earlier that day and didn't suspect any illness.

She looked familiar. I never knew the name Greta Meyer before. I never heard of her two daughters, her son-in-law, or her four-year-old grandson. I couldn't tell you anything about her life outside of what I read in the obituary, and yet I felt the eyes of her picture burrow into me. They were accusatory. They were demanding me to remember her.

Being reprimanded from beyond the grave hurt, especially since she truly did look familiar. I just had no clue why. It happened a lot to me. So many faces in the Obits were ones lingering right on the edges of my memory. So many names that rang faint little bells. A couple of times I did remember talking to them in the grocery store a few days prior, or that they had used the laundromat dryer just before I did, or they were getting off the city bus as I was climbing on, or they were the clerk at my dentist's office. It was kind of creepy to think about, but I did live in New York City. It was probably a high-probability that I would interact with people who were going to die soon.

I mean, if one were to stop and really take in the people they interacted with each day, one would be surprised by how many familiar names and faces appeared on the obituary page daily. Perhaps you just never knew the person's name, so you don't recognize it in the paper. Or maybe, they were someone like me, and didn't leave much of an impression when you saw them. Honestly, I'd be surprised if anyone truly remembered me without us first having a significant interaction.

I have brown hair and eyes. I'm clean shaven, simply because shaving quick each morning seems less hassle than the upkeep for facial hair. I'm average weight: not too muscular, but not too much of a gut either. Most importantly, I'm a six-foot-tall white man nearing his thirties. How much more nondescript could I be? At least my parents named me Colton, instead of something more generic like John or Michael or Dave or Tom or whatever.

Still, I'm human. I have a life; experiences. I've existed. With any luck, I've made some sort of an impact on the world around me. No matter how insignificant I may seem, I deserve people to remember me, right? So I remember as many people as I can, and silently suffer at the disappointed gaze of the deceased whose pictures seem familiar, but I can't quite place them.

Hoping for forgiveness, and wanting to honor her the best I could, I held a quick moment of silence for Greta. I blocked out the ambiance of the city bus, and prayed that her family would find peace to ease their grief. I had no clue if the prayer would be answered, and I wasn't entirely sure who I was even praying to, but I sent the thoughts out into the cosmos, and had faith that they would reach Greta's family and warm them somehow. My moment of silence complete, I folded up my newspaper and scanned the bus to take in my fellow riders that morning.

And there she was: my stalker. She appeared to be about mid-twenty, and a bit disheveled. Her loose-fitted jeans were worn thin, her sneakers seemed worse-for-wear, and her gray hoodie had tears, moth-holes, and frayed cuffs. The hood was up, so only a few long tendrils of her mousy-brown hair spilled down the front of her shoulders. The fringe looked dull and frizzy, as if she had walked through a wind tunnel, and instead of re-brushing her hair she simply hid it in the hood.

I don't know if she sensed me watching her, but the woman abruptly looked up at me, catching me in her deep, almost black eyes. They were like twin voids, and I was afraid of falling into them. Trying to make it look like I was simply scanning past her – totally not staring – I casually shifted my gaze to the husky, balding man beside her. Her eyes lingered on me.

They always seemed to linger on me. It had been roughly two months now, and I think I've spotted her nearly every day. It was rare to see her in the same location twice, but she still turned up daily somehow. I think I first noticed her waiting at the bank when I went to deposit a check. She had the same well-worn clothes on that day, and I found it an odd choice, especially when she was seated by the bankers in charge of loans. Then I spotted her walking past my apartment building a couple of days later. The day after that, she was in the lobby of the office building my job shares with about four other companies. Next, she was loitering outside my doctor's office in Midtown. I also caught her seated in a corner booth at a McDonald's; she didn't have any food or drink. I've also seen her in the grocery store, at the Central Park zoo, at an underground show a friend of mine put on in Tribeca, then a few times just on the street, at the bus depot, at a game store in NoMad that I hit up roughly once a month, the bodega a block from my apartment, the local laundromat, and even by the mailboxes of my apartment complex. With all of the people in the city, the fact that I'd see her randomly every day seemed unlikely unless she lived or worked by me. Yet, if either were the case, I should see her in the same places at least once a week, right? If she lived in my building, I'd see her around there, not just in the lobby once and outside once. If she worked in the same office building I would have run into her on the elevator, or by the food trucks at lunch, or something. If she lived on my block, then I should see her at the grocery store, laundromat, or bodega more than once each, shouldn't I? My stop was still five blocks down, but I got off with a few other passengers anyway. I needed to get away from that woman. At least, I needed to see if she'd break pattern alongside me. She did. I walked for three minutes, constantly muttering the mantra “don't look” in my head. I couldn't let her know that I was suspicious; that I knew she was there. Still, I needed to be certain that she was still following me, and prayed that she actually wasn't. Trying to not make it look obvious, I scanned the reflective glass surfaces of the buildings I passed. I couldn't find her though. Feeling a bit relaxed, I cautiously glanced past my shoulder. There she was, her gray hoodie weaving through the crowd. How had I missed her? I picked up the pace, and searched for her in my peripheral as I rounded a corner. She was roughly the same distance from me as before. Another quick turn, and she was still following me. Shit. Despite my instincts telling me otherwise, I slowed down again. I faced the road, and looked up and down it to check for traffic. She was still there; still the same distance from me. I crossed the street, keeping my head on a pivot to make sure I wasn't going to get run over, and she crossed with me. I picked up the pace, and turned another corner: still there; still the same distance. Finally, I stopped at a storefront, and pretended to window shop, hoping she'd just pass by me. Instead, she lagged behind. She didn't even try to hide. She didn't feign window shopping along with me, nor did she fake-answer a phone call, or act as if she were simply waiting for a friend. Nothing. She just stopped, and watched me. Stared at me with those void-like eyes. Pretending to feel my phone buzz in my pocket, I pulled it out, and muttered some nonsense into it. “Oh! I didn't realize it had gotten that late,” I told no one on the other line, but loud enough for the woman to hear. “I'll be right there. Sorry.” I turned and rushed forward. I wasn't quite jogging, but I was mastering the art of speed walking. I was like those senior citizens that walk the mall to stay in shape. I snaked my way through the crowd, trying to lace around larger groupings of pedestrians so they could maybe block me from my pursuer.

I wasn't exceptional in any way, I knew I wasn't. I also didn't recall doing the woman any sort of kindness that would have bound her to me, or any ill that would have enraged her, so why was she so obsessed? How do non-celebrities gain stalkers?

Sliding into a bit of a lame gallop, I rounded another corner. Spying to my left, I caught her picking up her pace as well to keep up with me. I needed to get away from her. Granted, she didn't necessarily seem threatening at first. Although she was relatively tall at about five-foot-seven, she was slender; twiggy. She even looked sickly with her nearly albino skin. Still, it was New York, and who knew what the Crazies were capable of? I was too focused on my stalker; watching her best I could in my peripheral. I didn't notice how close I was to the man until our shoulders collided. His phone fell to the ground, and he started cursing me out. The protector case did as it should, and the phone seemed unharmed, but that didn't seem to matter to the guy. He shoved me around a couple of times with his beefy hand, all while telling the person on the other end of his call how inconsiderate I was. Fully pivoted now, the man walked away from me, shaking his head and flipping me off. My stalker had stopped to watch the whole confrontation, but her eyes were now on the guy. A chill ran through me. I wanted to shout out for the man to watch out for her; maybe beg her to not overreact. I had no clue if she was about to stab him or anything; she could have had a blade on her, right? The whole scene seemed ominous for whatever reason. I just knew that I needed to warn him. “Hey!” I kept my distance, not sure I would be brave enough to hold the woman back if she did have a knife or a gun. “Hey, wait!”  She didn't stop; didn't flinch at me alerting her possible prey. The guy, on the other hand, flipped me off again, and then stopped at the curb; waiting for the traffic to pass. He didn't seem to care about my stalker creeping up on him. Maybe to him she still appeared frail and nonthreatening.  “Hey, stop!” I cried out as my stalker loomed behind the man like a shadow. He brushed me off once more, and ignored the woman practically breathing on his neck.  I sprinted towards the man, still unsure as to what I was going to do; what I would be brave enough to do. Maybe I could just talk the woman down from doing anything stupid. However, I wasn't sure how secure of a plan that was since she was ignoring me now too.  “Stop!”  He whipped around, and shoved me away from him. “Dude, what is your problem?” he growled. Then my stalker stood on her tiptoes and quickly placed a kiss on his forehead.  It was a peck, and quite the disinterested one at that. The second her lips touched his skin they bounced back off, and she was flat footed again. She then jogged a couple of steps backwards, giving him a wide berth. He didn't seem to notice or care about the random kiss as he stayed focused on me.  “Well? Ya got a problem?” he asked. Dumbfounded by what just happened, I couldn't form any sort of answer to his question. Shrugging challengingly, the man puffed out his chest, shook his head, cursed me out one last time, and then walked back the way he came. Probably so he could cross the street in peace.  The woman sighed as she watched the man leave. Then she pulled a tablet out of her hoodie's kangaroo pouch. Pressing a few buttons on her screen, she tucked the tablet back into her pocket and turned to go.  “Whoa, now! Wait. Where are you going?” She didn't react. She simply kept walking away from me, no longer fixated. I should have felt blessed. I was free. She wasn't stalking me anymore. It also wasn't my business as to why she kissed that guy. Maybe they were related or something, and her kiss coaxed him to not shove me into the side of a building. Who knows? New York was a weird place, and I should have left it at that.

I just couldn't though. I don't really know why, but I couldn't let her leave like that. I sprinted to catch up. Passing her, I stopped a couple of feet ahead, and held out my arms to try to blockade her. “I told you to wait,” I demanded. Probably wasn't the smartest move to try to be all Alpha Male on her, but it was all I could think of. She halted instantly, eyes wide and mouth agape. Ripping the hood off her head, she swung around to look over her shoulders. Convinced that I was indeed talking to her, she stared even more wide-eyed. Her pupils may have even dilated; it was hard to tell with those intense eyes. “You're talking to me?” Her voice was raspy, like she had shouted through a two-hour concert the night before. “Hell yeah, I am!” I ignored how uncomfortable her eyes made me, and I stared her down, bending my arms out of the way of other pedestrians passing by. Each time another person passed us, the more nervous she got. “I want answers, dammit!” “You're no Crow.” She squinted at me and her voice got dark. “I'm no what?” “Shut up,” she growled. “Don't talk to me! Don't look at me! Put your damn arms down!” “Tell me what-” “Alright! Shut up, will you? You're gonna get yourself locked up, I swear.” “Is that a threat?” She aggressively shushed me as she looked around us. Pulling her hood back up, she hissed, “Okay. Follow me, but you need to pretend I'm not here, understand? Don't look at me. Don't motion towards me. Don't talk to me. I am not here! Got it?” I opened my mouth to reply, but her glare made me clamp closed again. I instead acknowledged her request by putting my hands down and looking dead ahead. Nodding at my compliance, she scurried over to a storefront five buildings down. Carefully, I followed her, trying to make it look like no one was in front of me. I had never tailed someone before, so I had no clue how successful my attempt looked. At the very least, it seemed decent enough for her to not bark at me again. While the rest of the city was vibrant with lights and life, the storefront she lead me to was dark, and the windows were boarded up. I wanted to ask her if it was safe – or even legal – to enter the abandoned building, but I didn't want to ruin the illusion of us not knowing each other. She didn't even pause as she reached the building door. She simply snapped, and the roll-down security gate in front of the entrance unlocked. With barely a flex, she lifted the gate, and pushed the solid metal door open. I glanced around me to make sure no one was watching. Of course no one was; it was New York. I slid into the building behind her, and before the door could fully swing shut, she charged me into the wall. “You can see me!” she snarled, her concept of personal space apparently non-existent. She wasn't touching me, but her body was dangerously close to pinning me to the wall. “Well. I mean, not as much now because it's so dark in here, but....” I shrugged, arching my neck away from her. She retreated, and began pacing the room. I must have been seeing things, or maybe the building was dimmer than I thought; not enough sunlight seeping through the boarded windows. The place had a carpet of dust, and while I saw my scuffled footsteps, I could not see a trail left by the woman who led me there. “What is going on?” I asked, “Who are you? Who was that guy? Why were you following me for months?” “You've seen me for that long?” I nodded, a bit indignantly. “How are you not a Crow? I could have sworn- And to see me?” She kept circling the room, chin in her hand and eyes cast down. “Hey!” I didn't fear that someone on the street would hear me until after I had already shouted. Lowering my volume, I tried again. “You gonna answer any of my questions, or what?” “What are you?” She finally said. “Me? Can you fucking tell me who you are?” She took a long breath, then slowly released it. She lowered the hood of her sweatshirt again, and looked me dead in the eye. “My name is Zetelica. I am a Banshee Ankou; a scouter for Fate, Incorporated. Ignore the stupid corporation name; I have nothing to do with that.” “You're- you're what?” My eyebrows scrunched, and my face quirked to the side. What kind of crazy did I stumble into? “Long and short: I'm a spirit of death, and mortals aren't supposed to see me. So how the hell can you?” I blinked at her; trying to reset my brain so it could properly hear what she said to me. I had to have processed it wrong. 'Spirit of Death'? 'Banshee'? 'Mortals can't see her'? Was I on one of those hidden camera shows? Were they even a thing anymore? Zetelica abruptly lunged at me, again pinning me to the wall through proximity alone. “Look at me.” “I'm looking,” I protested. “In my eyes, damn you!” She leaned so close that her nose nearly brushed against mine. I stared back, trying to ignore the twin voids swallowing me up, my eyes blending them together into a cycloptic abyss. Abruptly, she stepped back, and again paced. “No near-death experiences.” “Um, yeah. No. I've been fully alive my whole life.” “You aren't a Medium either, but that wouldn't matter; they have no clue about Fate, Inc.” “Yeah, can we get a time-out and rewind a bit?” I crossed my hands to form a 'T'. She stilled and scowled at me. Assuming that was as much of a go-ahead as I was going to get, I ventured my first question. “What do you mean that you're a banshee? Like- like those wailing hags in Irish mythology?” She cocked a hip and crossed her arms. “First of all, do I look like a hag?Secondly, I have no clue where the wailing characterization came from.” “Well, I mean, if they meant whale, as in pounding someone into the pavement, I can see it.” Zetelica smirked, and stood relaxed for the first time since I cornered her on the street. “In that case, yes. I'm a banshee of Irish lore. Sort of. It's a bit more complicated than lore implies. Also don't worry, I can't actually whale on anyone. As a Banshee I have to be careful about touching mortals.” “Mortals,” I parroted. “You're seriously sticking with the whole 'spirit of death' thing?” Pouting, she pointed to the floor. “Write your name.” “Huh?” “Write your damn name in the dust.” “Why am I-?” “Do it!” Crouching down, I found a patch of dust I hadn't disturbed yet. I quickly wrote 'Colton' in the dirt. “Okay, now what?” Zetelica knelt on the other side of my name, and wiped her hand through the dirt. Nothing happened. She placed both hands firmly onto the floor, and vigorously swiped at the dust. None of it moved. “Oh, shit!” I scurried away from her, pinning myself in a corner. “Exactly. I can't interact with anything on the physical plane, except for living creatures. However, as a Banshee, I mark things for death. If I touch you, I signal for a Reaper to come to collect you.” “Wait! That guy, on the street, you kissed him!” “I did. The Kiss of Death. Shame too, you caught him while he was having a bad day, but usually he's a  genuinely decent guy. It's always rough when I have to mark the young ones.” “What the fuck?” I yelled, and quickly muffled myself with my hands. “Don't go judging me!” “Okay, but, why that guy? Was it because of me? Were you trying to protect me or something? Is that why you were following me?” “Get over yourself. He was already on my list.” Zetelica pulled her tablet back out of her kangaroo pouch pocket, and pressed a few buttons. “That's my job. I get a list from Fate, and then I find those mortals, and I mark them. I have no say in the matter, I don't pick anyone myself, and I don't question it - I'm not supposed to question it - and it's worked well for me so far.” She held her tablet out for me to see. “It was just coincidence that you two met. That's why I thought you were a Crow, actually.” I pressed myself as close to the wall – and as far from Zetelica – as possible. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Oh for- I'm not here for you, so will you calm down already? Look. Right here. Gideon James Resnick, set to die in three days.” The left side of the screen had a picture of the man from the street. He truly did look like a nice guy when he wasn't screaming and flipping people off. A police-like bio covered the other half of the screen. Name: Gideon James Resnick Address: 1365 Saint Nicholas Ave, Sugar Hill, New York, New York, United States of America, North America Age: 38 years, 7 months Death: On impact in car crash at the corner of Amsterdam Ave and W 136th St at 23:46:10 on Thursday, November 14th, 2019 CE Deploy: Angel of Death “Jesus! Are you a goddamn hit man?” “What? No!” Zetelica whipped the tablet from me, and shoved it back into her pocket. “Listen carefully, dammit!” She then spoke painfully slow; over-enunciating each word. “I. Am. A. Spirit. Of death. Fate. Decides. Their time. Is up. I. Mark them. For death. The. Reapers. Collect. Them. Got it now?” “The Reapers. You mean, like the Grim Reaper?” “Yes,” she sighed, exasperated. “But there's more than one?” “Yes. Do you realize how many die per day? Not just humans either, I'm talking animals as well. And at the same time, no less? There's a whole goddamn organization who orchestrates everything.” “Fate, Inc?” I said, using air quotes. “Yes,” she said, a bit deflated. She must have really hated that name. “And that deployment section?” “Gideon's religious, and would be most susceptible to angelic imagery ushering him to the afterlife. The Reapers are deployed based on the best option for that particular soul's transition.” “What are the other options?” “Never mind the other goddamn options! Can we get back to focusing on how the hell you're able to see me?” “Yeah, well, I'd love to, but how am I supposed to know that? I didn't even know there were literal Spirits of Death or 'ankous' or whatever you are.” She rocked back onto her heels and softened. “I'm actually impressed you remembered that. Not too many out of Wales still knows the word 'ankou'.” “Okay, fantastic. So what the fuck is it? Why were you following me? And why do you keep calling me a crow?” She stared at me, just as she had done on the bus. Just as she had done for the better part of two months. She was studying me. I knew that much at least. “Could you stop that. It creeps me out.” I shifted along the wall, and her gaze followed me. “Stand up.” I was pressed against the exit. If I stood, I could run out the door. Focusing on not telegraphing my escape plan, I complied. I rested my hand on the press-bar, and used it to hoist myself up. Keeping gentle pressure on it, I eased my hand closer to the metal door, compressing the release. Before the door fully unlatched, Zetelica pulled her hand out of her pocket, and blew a gray powder at me. “What are you doing?” I growled, coughing up some of the dust. “What the fuck was that?” “Dust from an ancient gravestone.” Zetelica's gravelly voice became wispy; unnerved. “Are you shitting me right now? “It stuck,” she whispered. “Well, yeah. It's dust. I'm sure between the floor and that gravestone shit I'm covered head to toe.” “It wasn't supposed to stick.” “Then why-” “Death clings to you; it's attracted to you like a magnet.” “Super.” All thoughts of escaping that desolate storefront evaporated as I focused on trying to wipe my eyes clean and the damn gravestone dust (seriously?!) off my face. Yet it wouldn't wipe off. The grit of it plastered to my face, and all I could think of were those images of people after September 11th, with the dust of the Twin Towers coating them. I probably looked a lot like that. Might not be the best look to walk around Manhattan with. “Watch,” Zetelica ordered. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I blinked as much tombstone out of my eyes as possible. Zetelica was just a blur before me. “Watch!” She screamed. Her voice echoed around me, screeching, raising in pitch. I now understood why people claimed banshees wailed, and I covered my ears to try to deafen the sound. Blinking a few more times, I forced myself to look at her. “I'm watching! I'm watching! Christ!” Zetelica shoved the left sleeve of her sweatshirt back past her elbow, and stuck her arm straight out. She then scooped another handful of gravestone dust out of her pouch, and slowly poured it just to the side of her arm. Some of the dust fell straight down to join its brethren on the floor, but most of it drifted to her arm like a breeze blew it onto her. The dust clung like armor building onto her skin. Her right hand now empty, she shook her left arm. The dust didn't shift. It stayed scaled against her. She brushed it with her hand, and still it clung. “You're like me. I thought you were a Crow – a human cursed to spread bad luck and death to those they meet – but you're not. I think- You might be an Ankou, like me.” “What?” I brushed harder at my face and arms, trying my hardest to get the dust off of me. “No! No way! I'm alive! That's why you couldn't touch me, right? I'm not some Spirit of Death or whatever!” All those faces in the obituaries. All of those names calling out to me. They were people I had interacted with because I attracted Death to me? I thought back to Greta. I remembered her now. She had sold me a new recliner late last week, and we shook hands after closing the sale. Then there was Brian Wilson in the Obits the day before: he was the nurse that had taken my blood at a donation drive over the weekend. He had fallen down a flight of stairs and broke his neck the next morning. Jacob Richards was getting off the bus as I was climbing on; I had stumbled, and caught myself on his shoulder. He had laughed it off and waved goodbye to me. He was a cop that was killed in the line of duty later that day. Monique White had used the drier ahead of me, and our fingers brushed as I handed her a sock she had dropped. She suffocated when her sleep apnea went unchecked. The already sickly looking Tilda McCaffery succumbed to liver cancer days after I handed her some asparagus at the grocery store. John Littleton worked at my corner bodega. In a rare occurrence that I used cash instead of my debit card, he had handed me my change. He was then mugged on his way home, and didn't survive the stabbings. Gracie Milnack was at my buddy's underground show. I bumped into her while dancing, and caught her arm to help steady her. She died of undiagnosed diabetic shock three days later. The names flashed by. Their faces. The moments I had met them. The moments I had touched them. As a Banshee I have to be careful about touching mortals. I had always been a very reserved person. I respected personal space and boundaries. I rarely touched anyone, and it seemed that those I did... “My mom and dad!” I had touched them; kissed them; hugged them. I wasn't completely touch starved. Had I sentenced them to death? Had I unknowingly marked them for the Reapers to go to collect? “Relax. They're fine.” Zetelica lowered her sleeve and scanned her tablet again. “They haven't been on anyone's list that I can see.” “But I touched-” “I told you to get over yourself, didn't I? I don't know how you're coming into your powers before death, but you don't fully have them yet. I've still had to mark everyone, and I haven't seen any Spots on people you've touched. So just calm down. Okay?” “But, those people. I did touch them, and they died within the week.” “Yeah. That's why I thought you were a Crow. About two months ago I noticed that a couple of people that were on my list would meet up with you before I got to them. I figured the touch was you transferring the curse to them, which is why they were on my list in the first place. Seems you were just attracting those Fated to you, like a bug zapper, except I'm the actual electricity.” “So you weren't actually following me. You were just there marking people and coincidentally did so whenever I was around.” “Sure.” I quirked an eyebrow at her. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I was following you because it was easier than trying to track my names down, okay? Happy now?” She crossed her arms and pouted. “You were stalking me because you were being lazy?” “It's an exhausting job! Wait until you start!” “Speaking of, what do I do now? I doubt I'm supposed to know about all of this, and if my 'powers' are already 'awakening'-” “Yeah. I know. It seems like you might be a new Banshee, but it could be just as bad if you're a Reaper without realizing it; worse even. Let's just hope you end up becoming a Psychopomp. Those guys are terrifying, but harmless to the living.” “Psychopomp?” “Basically bounty hunters for souls that escape their Reaper escort to the afterlife.” “Right.” “Man.” Zetelica massaged her forehead and began pacing again. “This is so bad. The Vultures will have my head for this. They can't be too mad at me, though, right? It's not like I caused your powers to awaken or anything. Maybe I'll be rewarded for finding you before this got out of hand.” “They're not going to, ya know, kill me off, are they?” She paused. “Zetelica. Are they going to kill me now?” My throat tightened. Everything felt so dry. “Well-” She dragged out the word, her voice hitting a high pitch that sounded weird squeaking out of her. “Z!” She scrunched up her face. Clearly we were not yet on good enough terms for nicknames. “I'll see what I can do, okay? This could be a good thing if contained well. Besides, I've followed you for two months, remember? I don't recall seeing too many personal connections in your life. Would it be so bad if you were to join the ranks a touch early?” “Zetelica!” “Alright. Alright. Sheesh.” She flung her hands over her head. “Just- just wait here. Give me some time.” “Stay here? What am I supposed to do here? How long do I need to wait?” “Look. Read my lips if you have to. You ready?” She paused, hands sarcastically fanned out to get my attention. “I. Do not. Know. This. Has never. Happened. Before. Got. It?” She didn't wait for my reaction. She turned her back to me, took out a piece of chalk, and drew a circle on the floor. The second the circle was closed it glowed a pale blue. She stepped inside the ring, and vanished. I collapsed to the floor. I didn't know if I should use the time to run for it. I didn't know if I should check myself into a mental institution or something. I didn't even know how to get that damn gravestone dust off of me. I thought about hiding from Zetelica, but if she truly did work for Death Itself, then what good would running do? A Reaper would come for me if I was sentenced. I was sure of it. I was pretty positive that I wouldn't be able to re-create a real world Final Destination plot. Not that it mattered, if I remembered correctly, all of the characters ended up dying anyway, even if it was off-screen between movies. I just hoped the way I went would be painless. I should have done up a will. Why is it that no one thinks to write one up before they're fifty unless they've been sick? Where would my stuff go? What about that recliner I had just bought from Greta? What about my parents? I should have seen them more often. I curled up into a ball and pondered Life. Did I spend it wisely? What about those I met that have died? Was I truly a beacon for those who were destined to die within the week? How many faces had I seen already that day? How many had Reapers already on their back? How did this Fate, Inc. decide who to kill off? How do they decide how people died? What would it feel like to be part of that; to mark people for death without any second thought about it? How would I feel the first time I took the life of a loving parent, or of a child? I began to cry for them. For all of those potential victims of my touch. I was to be neutral about their lives; I'm sure, but for that moment I was still alive and human. For that moment I grieved them. I felt the chalkiness of the gravestone dust clearing from my face. Small chunks of it flaked off like cracked eggshell. I had lost track of time when the circle glowed again. As Zetelica re-appeared I jumped to my feet. “Zetelica?” She squinted at me, her head questioningly tilting to the side. She then waved her hand in front of her face. “The dust is gone.” “Huh?” I wiped my cheeks and forehead. My skin was soft and warm. The dust had fallen off completely. Did that mean I no longer attracted Death? Did it simply have some sort of time restraint and fell off naturally? “I guess because you're alive you don't have to have it removed?” She shrugged and walked towards me. “Well, I've got good news and bad news.” “Okay? What's the good news?” “They aren't going to contract you early. Fate had already set up your death date, and it is not today.” “It's- Well, when is it then? Is it in the near-future?” “You're cute if you honestly think I'd answer that, or that you would really want to know.” Zetelica stopped just a few inches from me. For a spirit who had to be careful about touching mortals, she never did figure out personal boundaries, did she? “I will tell you that you don't have to worry, as long as you don't go out of your way to put yourself in danger, or try to kill yourself. If circumstances change Fate has no problem moving up your date.” I studied her for a second. “Fair enough. Do I want to know the bad news then?” “Well, Sunshine, the bad news is this.” Before I could react, Zetelica brushed my cheek with her hand. My whole body ran cold at her chilled touch. I shuddered, and she booped me on the nose. “You and I are contracted to each other. I got a lighter work load so I could stay by your side and help you come into your own. With any luck, Fate will figure out what is going on and find a way to halt your powers until you're dead and are supposed to get them. Otherwise, I'm to show you the ropes. You're my apprentice now, Fleshie. Surprise.” “I think I'm gonna throw up.” “Yeah, that's probably the appropriate response.” I rushed to the corner of the abandoned store, and heaved up the remains of my breakfast sandwich. It was mostly bile, and I coughed at the burn in my throat. Stumbling away from the corner, I collapsed onto the floor. Zetelica stood over me with her hands on her hips. “Better now?” I nodded slowly. “Good.” She scooped me off the floor. “How?” “You're my apprentice now. I can't mark you, but that also means I can interact with you. Fun, right?” Her tone was sarcastic and a bit irritated. She walked to the metal door and pushed it open; somehow that door and gate were the only things she was able to affect.

“How are you doing that?”

“Hmm? Oh. I had made it into a gateway for Fate, Inc. That's what that snap was for when we first got here. Any abandoned place like this can become a sort of lobby for Fate if we needed a quick exit. Now come on. You've been in here too long already, and I still have mortals to mark before I can call it a day.”

Zetelica slid out of the door, and I tentatively followed. I was one of the Ankou: a Spirit of Death for a supernatural organization known as Fate, Inc. While I didn't know what kind of Ankou I was to become, or how long it would be before I was officially contracted to work as one, I now had a Banshee as my mentor. My stalker was now never going to leave my side again; like a shadow. Life was about to get very interesting, and I found myself wishing for boring. Wishing for naivete. Wishing to be insignificant.

I would never again be able to casually read through the obituaries. I was destined to know each of those names, and remember them.

[itsthejuggernautbitch]

You Look Like Trouble (Morning Glory Wine) - Cable/OC

Here’s chapter three! I don’t want to be that person but if you’ve got the time and the inclination, kudos would be great.

Also, here’s a playlist if you’re into that kind of thing. I make them for all my fics. Listen along if you like because the chapter titles correspond to the song.

Taglist: @this-that-and-every-thing-else  @ptite-shit  @lesbianyondu  @chromecutie  @gallifreyangrandtorino  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @akihecko

Mondays suck. The to-do list for the day is always too long, there’s always stuff left over from the weekend, and then there’s the whole week ahead. That's when you've got to go to all of your appointments, deal with life in general. Mondays were just too much.

This Monday, though, was Vivian’s day off. There was work to be done, but not the kind of work where she had to go into the office and hold down small children or bother grown men about taking their medicine properly.

Today, Vivian got to see her kids.

Vivian was in the middle of getting dressed when her doorbell rang. She tumbled out into the hall, tugging her dress down over her head and hopping on one foot to put her shoes on. There was no chance of anything more than a relatively professional dress, ponytail, and a spirited attempt at makeup. She couldn’t remember the last time she made an effort to dress up, but at least the dress was business-y.

The doorbell rang again. When she opened the door, Wade stood on the other side, dressed in the Deadpool suit. Looks like someone else had business to take care of today.

Wade whistled when he saw her. “Look at you! I thought the white coat just came included with the special features! What are you up to today?”

“Parent-teacher conference for Shelly at the middle school today,” Vivian replied, scraping her hair up into a fussy ponytail.

“But I thought you couldn’t - ”

“The ex-husband cannot be in attendance and apparently it’s urgent, so I get to go handle it. Restraining order is against him, not my babies.”

Wade held onto her shoulder so that Vivian could balance long enough to get her other shoe on. “So this is the first time in how long?”

“About a year.”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be a fun conference. Tell your kids to stop setting off stink bombs or eating Tide pods or whatever it is that kids do for fun these days.”

Vivian was pretty sure that kids didn’t actually do any of those things for fun.

She snorted. “I’m hoping I can take them out for dinner afterward.”

Wade hopped on the couch and stretched out, watching Vivian attempt to finish getting dressed in a timely fashion. “You know where you should go after dinner?”

“Not Sister Margaret’s. It’s my night off.”

He hummed. “I was thinking more about Xavier’s mansion.”

Vivian stopped long enough to stare at him. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on, Colossus wants to talk to you!”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied. “Captain Boy Scout has been trying to sit me down and talk to me about being the school nurse for years. Besides, when did you start rolling out the welcome wagon for the X-Men?”

Wade huffed. “Gimme a break! It’s part of training!”

“What, recruitment?”

“If you come, I don’t have to wear the yellow crop top!”

“Good thing you look good in yellow, because I’m not setting foot in that place,” Vivian replied, grabbing her keys. “Now, let me get out of here, I don’t want to be late.”

Wade opened the door for her, slamming it behind them. “Have fun! Tell the babies that Uncle Wade says hi!”

“They don’t call you Uncle Wade!”

Vivian stood in the school lobby, arms crossed, tapping her foot. She’d been waiting for a solid thirty minutes for Jack to bring the kids, but neither Shelly nor Benji were anywhere in sight. She couldn’t just find the teacher’s room on her own and take care of the problem. She’d never been inside of the middle school, so she didn’t know the whereabouts of the teacher’s classroom.

“Mama!”

A tiny, high-pitched voice preceded the appearance of a tiny blonde girl, like the sound of a bird chirping. Shelly ran towards her, all hundred pounds of middle school girl barreling towards Vivian like a bullet. Benji jogged along behind her, wearing the same grimace that Vivian always gave to Wade when he was overly enthusiastic about something.

She caught Shelly in her arms and gave Benji one of those side-arm hugs teenage boys give when they think they’re too old to hug their moms.

Shelly didn’t stop long enough for greetings. She wouldn’t let go of Vivian’s hand as she pulled her down the hallway. “Lets go get this over with.”

“Hold on, honey, what’s your teacher’s name?”

“Mr. Johnson. He’s kind of a twerp.”

“Why’s he a twerp?”

Benji rolled his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be telling her not to call people twerps?”

“Probably, but I’m your mom and you should be able to express your feelings in a safe, understanding environment. If your sister says the man’s a twerp, he’s a twerp, Benji,” Vivian said. “Why’s he a twerp, Shelly?”

“Well, he called this conference and I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

“I don’t even know what happened, Shel Dorado. Your dad didn’t exactly clue me in on that.”

“Dad didn’t even read the letter that got sent home with me?”

“No, Dad just didn’t give me the letter to read. We’re not really allowed to talk, remember?”

“Oh, yeah… Well, I guess Mr. Johnson can tell you,” Shelly said, coming to halt. “This is his room.”

Vivian walked in, Shelly and Benji trailing behind her. The room was the same stringent, basic setup as every other middle school classroom in America, purposefully bland and devoid of hope or fun. Desks were arranged in clinical rows. The teacher’s desk was arranged carefully in the front corner with two chairs across from the teacher’s computer chair.

Benji sat at a desk on the front row while Shelly parked herself in one of the chairs next to the teacher’s desk.

Mr. Johnson stood up and shook Vivian’s hand. “I was under the impression that I would be dealing with Mr. Thorn. We’ve had correspondence about Shelly’s behavior before.”

Vivian sat down in the chair next to Shelly’s. “Well, Mr. Thorn is presently unavailable, as he had something he deemed more important to take care of today. You’ll be dealing with me instead, so why don’t you enlighten me as to Shelly’s behavior.”

The teacher sat down in his chair and scooted it in close to the desk.“She’s been picking a lot of fights lately. I’m just curious as to whether this relating to something that’s happening at home?”

“I wouldn’t know what happens at home, being that Mr. Thorn and I are divorced.”

Mr. Johnson shrugged. “It could be your absence in the home that’s causing this…”

“Well, Mr. Johnson, why don’t you explain to Mr. Thorn that my absence in my children’s life is negatively impacting them so that he’ll authorize visitation,” Vivian replied, liking the teacher less and less with every passing minute. “This, I assume, would only be possible in the event you or the nearest other available pig grows wings and takes flight.”

“Ms. Sharpe-”

“Dr. Sharpe.”

“Dr. Sharpe, I meant no disrespect to you. I wasn’t insinuating anything.”

Yeah, right.

Vivian didn’t have a lot of patience to begin with, but he was testing what little she had. “Why don’t we ask Shelly why she’s acting out? It may be that you’re not addressing her needs as a student. Shelly, what’s going on?”

Shelly looked like she’d rather be anywhere else in the world at that very moment. “Tom and John made it a game to pull every girls’ hair, snap bra straps, pull down our pants. I’ve been telling Mr. Johnson that for months.”

There is a special kind of fury only felt by mothers of girls, because mothers of girls know exactly what kind of pain they’re going through.

“Is this true, Mr. Johnson?”

“She’s the only student who’s complained about this…”

If she didn’t have to set a good example for her kids, Vivian would have definitely punched him by now. “So, what? The testimony of one little girl isn’t enough to make you address this situation?”

“That’s not what I was saying…”

“No, you’re saying that these little boys are touching Shelly and you’re not doing anything about it.”

“She punched Tom Wells in the face and broke his nose.”

“Good,” Vivian snapped. “She did something about it when you wouldn’t. The only thing you’re doing is teaching my child that she won’t be taken seriously.”

“Dr. Sharpe, I have reprimanded them.”

“You gave those boys a slap on the wrist, but you pulled me and both of my children away from our lives to have a conversation about my daughter defending herself?”

“That wasn’t the intention.”

“I know what your intention was, Mr. Johnson,” she said. “I’m a thirty-four year old woman with a medical doctorate. I know exactly what she’s going through and how you’re responding to it because I’ve been dealing with the same thing for thirty-four years myself.”

“Well, if you’re not going to have a conversation with me, Dr. Sharpe, perhaps you should leave.”

“Oh, I think this was a great conversation, Mr. Johnson. And don’t worry, I’ll be pulling her from your class.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Oh, I can’t? Watch me.” She motioned for Shelly and Benji to follow her. “Come on, guys.”

Vivian held open the door so that the kids could walk ahead of her. She slammed the door behind her and stalked down to the lobby to take care of this problem. When you found the business office door, she pulled open the door and looked for the administrative assistant.

She found Lucy, the administrative assistant, waiting for her in her office. “I need you to take care of something for me.”

Lucy looked up at her over the rim over her glasses. “Switch Shelly to a different class? Way ahead of you.”

“How’d you know?”

“I just needed consent from you or Jack to get her out of that class,” Lucy replied, already typing away at her keyboard. “It’s like the more she fights back, the bigger the target on her head.”

“Well, get her off the firing range. She’s got a target on her head because that teacher isn’t doing anything about it.”

Lucy nodded. “I’ll get it taken care of, Viv.”

“Thank you, Lucy. Can you send me updates on things?”

“I will.”

“Thanks again. I’ll see you later.”

Vivian left the office decidedly calmer than she expected to. She motioned for Shelly and Benji to follow her out. The kids followed Vivian out to her car.

Shelly grabbed Vivian’s hand and swung it as they walked. “Can you come to all the teacher conferences from now on?”

Vivian pulled Benji into a one-arm hug as she walked, despite the fact that he looked like he was going to die of embarrassment. “Of course I can. I didn’t even know all of this was going on or I would have been crawling his ass long before now.”

“Language, mom,” Benji said. She was vividly reminded of a smaller, less shiny Colossus as that moment.

“Sorry, honey.”

Vivian climbed into her car and waited for the two of them to climb in behind her. They both slid into the backseat, shoving each other for elbow space. She started the car, put it into gear, and sped off towards the exit.

“Hey, mama?” Benji asked. Vivian’s heart melted a little bit. She hadn’t heard Benji call her that in years . “Can you get me put in a different English class? She gives pop quizzes.”

“No, Benji. Pop quizzes are good for you,” Vivian replied, searching absently for the street she needed to turn onto. “What do you two want for dinner?”

“Pizza,” they said in unison.

Vivian sighed. “How many times have you had pizza this week?”

“Three.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have something healthier?”

“No.”

“What does your father feed you? Jeeze. Pizza it is, I guess.”

Vivian could see why Wade harassed her about getting sleep. If she slumped any lower in her chair she was going to hit the (very bloody) floor.

It was a slow Friday night, which was rare. Friday nights usually meant a steady flow of wounds to stitch up. Thank goodness she’d only had a couple of patients, though. There was no way she would have been able to deal with the Friday night load in her current state of overwhelming exhaustion. Of course, even though it was a slow night, she’d had two difficult patients. Both of them bled everywhere (as is the nature of stab wounds), which only exacerbated her exhaustion. She got both of them stable and stitched up, though.

The time was drawing close to two a.m. She was only sticking around so that she could pay Cable, whenever he decided to show up. Cable didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would skip out on a payment, so Vivian was a little worried that he might have forgotten his deadline, or worse - that he might have had some trouble with his mark.

The mark in this instance was the man Vivian bought all of her medical supplies from. He never stiffed her on numerical counts, but she had long suspected that he was buying the lowest quality items and pocketing the different. Distasteful, unethical - not technically illegal, but none of these practices - his or her own - were legal anyway, so she could do something about his poor business practices. She suspected that it was his doing that all of her supplies had been substituted out and replaced. She wasn’t exactly surprised that he did it - more annoyed than anything. That was fine. She had learned over the years that one must fight back in order to accomplish anything.

She knew how to fight all too well.

Really, she shouldn’t have been worried that Cable forgot his deadline, or failed to meet it. She realized that when the medical room door was thrown open, and in stepped Cable and the mark.

Cable dragged the guy in by his ear and shoved him towards Vivian. “Jimmy here’s got something to say to you, Dr. Sharpe.”

Vivian bit her lip to keep from snorting. She was pretty sure she’d never seen a grown man’s ear twisted like a bad schoolboy’s by another fully grown man. “What on Earth is going on here?”

Cable flicked the man’s ear. There was a little blood. “What do you say, asshole?”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Sharpe!” Jimmy said, grimacing when Cable twisted his ear again. “I’m sorry I switched out your supplies!”

“What else did you want to tell her?”

Jimmy flinched, shying away from Cable as far as he could without running the risk of being flicked on the ear again. “I’ll get you what you paid for, no charge!”

“And?”

“And I’ll buy the placebos back!”

“ And? ”

“And I won’t do it again, I swear!”

Cable slapped him on the back of the head, pushing him towards her. “Now give her the money.”

Jimmy tossed Vivian a hefty roll of cash, which she caught easily. She didn’t bother to count it. Cable would have made sure it was the correct amount.

Cable grabbed Jimmy by the back of his shirt and pulled him towards the door. “Get out of here, and make sure I don’t have to come after you again.”

Jimmy scurried out of the bar, spurred on by bar patrons throwing beer bottles at him. They’d all heard that he’d stiffed their doctor (thanks to Weasel’s loose tongue), and they weren’t happy about it. Who else was going to remove their stitches without pulling and not charge them thousands of dollars like real hospitals do?

Vivian stuck her head out the door to watch him run off, chuckling when she caught sight of the wet spot on Jimmy’s jeans. To be fair, peeing himself was the appropriate response.

Vivian shut the door behind her. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a merc make a mark apologize to me.”

Cable shrugged. “Yeah, well, he was a scumbag. Needed to learn a little humility.”

Vivian couldn’t disagree with that. Most of the people she associated with were scumbags - some more so than others. And yet, some of them weren’t so bad.

Vivian supposed she should pay him for a job well done. She peeled off a section of the roll of cash. “This is what I owe you. Count behind me and make sure it’s right.”

He waved her off. “Keep it.”

What was it with Wade and his weird friends not letting her pay them?

Vivian sighed. “Between you and Wade, I swear… I’ll get a bad reputation if people keep doing work for me for free.”

“I didn’t do it for free,” Cable said, staring at her with those piercing eyes. “You stitched me up the other night. Damn good job, too. The scar’s not even that bad.”

Vivian shook her head. “Wade took care of your bill last week. Next excuse?”

He huffed. “Well, I just…”

Cable didn’t give her an answer, just shuffled from one foot to the other, looking just past her. Vivian suspected that Cable had several reasons for not taking payment from her. Maybe he had some kind of sense of loyalty for Wade, maybe he had some feeling of duty towards her. Damn mercenaries never could talk about their feelings. Whatever the reason, she knew she was going to have to bother him to take her money in the future.

Perhaps in her determination to read his emotions, Vivian stared Cable down too hard. Everything about him was just… entrancing. A little terrifying. Exhilarating. He caught her stare and didn’t look away.

Out of the corner of her eye, Vivian caught blood dripping from his ungloved hand.

“Give me your hand.”

Cable didn’t ask why, he just held out his hand (albeit warily). His knuckles were split and scraped, like he’d tried to swing on someone and hit a wall instead, probably done while dragging Jimmy into her medical room. Vivian took his hand between her own and did her best to look away from his face.

She held his hand for a full minute and let the cold energy emanating from her hands wrap around his. He jumped when his hand got cold, but didn’t pull away.

When she released his hand, he pulled away, hand completely healed. He inspected the fresh pink flesh covering his knuckles. “You’re a healer?”

“Only a little bit. It’s just a secondary ability.”

“Why don’t you use it more often? Seems like it would save some time instead of poking and stabbing all these people.”

“I’m kind of stretching to do it now, honestly. I have the ability to reject events - trees falling over, pianos falling out of windows. It doesn’t work with organic material, for the most part.”

“So how are you doing it now?”

Vivian shrugged. “I don't know. Sometimes it just works. Usually, I have to be pretty stressed, or… really need it to work.”

“Well, I know you’re pretty stressed…”

Ah. So that’s why he wouldn’t accept his payment. She hadn’t pegged Cable for a sentimental type, but that just added a new layer to his otherwise gruff and stoic facade. A shame; it made it that much harder for Vivian not to like him.

Vivian quirked an eyebrow. “Alright, what’s Wade told you?”

Cable grimaced. He must have realized that he’d hit a nerve. “Enough.”

“Explain.”

He explained in that sort of way that Vivian could only describe as infuriatingly stoic. She was beginning to think that this was his own special brand of macho. “Two jobs, two kids, and you never sleep.”

“That it?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

So Wade must have left it at that. Very few people were privy to the full situation. He might have loose lips sometimes, but Wade was unfailingly loyal.

Good boy, Wade.

“And that’s why you won’t let me pay you.”

Cable looked like a man who’d been cornered. Which, he had been. “I didn’t really have to do much. Not like ol’ Jimmy was was hard to bring in or anything. You’ve got other things to worry about that paying me for that.”

Vivian was accustomed to fighting for every good thing in her life. Perhaps she was finally being given something good for once.

“You have a good heart for a mercenary,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. “Wade keeps good friends.”

He gave her the tiniest of smiles - so small that she would have missed it had she not been physically unable to look away from his face. “If you need me to do anything else…”

“You’re first on the list, Cable. Thank you.”

Vivian had met Cable three times now, and in those three times, she’d figured out pretty quickly that she was going to have a tough time keeping her head on straight where he was concerned. She’d been denying herself the prospect of dating or even feeling for so long; denying the desire for emotional or physical care. She had an undeniable attraction to Cable; he was gruff, stoic, intense . It wouldn’t be so bad if he was attracted to her, too…

Vivian had never made a single decision that wasn’t calculated and planned down to the minute. She’d learned the hard way that missteps could be fatal, and she couldn’t afford to lose anything else.

And yet, as Cable turned to leave, Vivian made one of the most impulsive decisions she’d ever made in her entire life.

Vivian called his name and stopped him. “Can I buy you a beer?”

“No…”

Vivian couldn’t pretend that didn’t sting a little bit.

“… but you can let me buy you one.”

He grinned. Not the tiny half-grin from a minute ago, but a real smile. And just like that, Vivian knew she wouldn’t be able to guard her heart from this one, not if he wanted it.

[speakenglish]

expressions from the Chanzy conversation group....... follow the link for more details http://www.englishcurrent.com/idioms/esl-idioms-intermediate-advanced/

ring a bell

A: Do you know April O’Neil?

B: Hmm. Maybe. That name rings a bell.

 on the one hand / on the other hand

On the one hand, Peter’s roommate is kind. On the  other hand, he’s quite messy.

have/keep an open mind

I tried to keep an open mind about Allan even though  I’d heard some bad things about him.

on the tip of your tongue

His name was on the tip of my tongue… but I couldn’t  remember it.

a hangover (noun) / hung-over (adj)

Tyler was too hung-over from last night’s party to go  to work.

~ish

Let’s meet around 4ish.

fed up

I’m fed up with my neighbour’s dog.

Big deal!

It takes you 15 minutes to walk to school? Big deal!

Give sb a hand

My dad gave me a hand with my homework.

let the cat out of the bag

It was going to be a surprise party, until Todd let  the cat out of the bag.

give it a shot

If you think you can make the team, then give it a  shot.

No way!

A: George, I’m pregnant.

B: No way!

 The more the merrier.

A: Can I invite my brother?

B: Sure. The more the merrier.

 give it your all

Even though I lost the race, I gave it my all.

first-hand

I saw the accident happen, first-hand.

a dead end

Let’s not take this path. It leads to a dead end.

time flies

Time flies when you’re having fun.

pull sb’s leg

“You have 6 brothers? You’re pulling my leg!”

have sth on your mind

When Dana has something on her mind, she likes to go  for a long walk by herself.

keep track

I use my watch to keep track of time.

from scratch

My aunt made the cake from scratch.

off the top of your head

He asked me to tell him a joke, but I couldn’t think  of one off the top of my head.

learn your lesson

The boy learned his lesson. He’ll never play with fire  again.

keep/bear in mind

The professor told his students to keep in mind that  they only have 50 minutes to complete the test.

speak your mind

Timmy was afraid to speak his mind in front of his  schoolmates.  

Just my luck!

It rained on my only day off. Just my luck!

There’s nothing to it.

Why don’t you make a simple website for your business?  There’s nothing to it.

get out of hand

 The house party got out of hand, so we had to call the  police.

cut a long story short

To cut a long story short, Lisa and I have had some  interesting experiences together.

a piece of cake

The test was a piece of cake. I finished it in 20  minutes.

go out of your way to do sth

 I went out of my way to help Jenny find an apartment,  and she didn’t even say thanks!

cross your mind

The thought never even crossed my mind.

road rage

I don’t like being in the car with Gary. He has difficulty  controlling his road rage.

go on about

The old man went on about his school days for nearly  an hour.

slip your mind

I was going to return the library books today after  work, but the thought slipped my mind.

have/throw a fit

The baby threw a fit when I took his toy away.

The ball is in your court

 The ball is in their court now. Let’s wait for their  decision.

make your day

Finding a fifty-dollar bill on the ground made my day.

a rip off / to rip sb off

 Six dollars for a cup of coffee?! What a rip off!

 get a kick out of sth

I get a kick out of reading science fiction novels.

catch sb’s eye

The bright advertisement caught my eye.

jump the gun

I jumped the gun and asked Gail to marry me.  

give sb a piece of your mind

The angry worker gave his boss a piece of his mind.

cross your fingers

Kate crossed her fingers and hoped it wouldn’t rain on  her wedding day.

cost (sb) an arm and a leg

The designer handbag cost her an arm and a leg.

be in hot water

Ken was in hot water about forgetting his wedding  anniversary.

an eye-opener

The film on global warming was a real eye-opener for  Tom.

let off steam

Ted plays squash when he needs to let off steam.

read between the lines

You can figure out the author’s opinion by reading  between the lines.

go all out

We went all out and booked a five-star hotel for our  trip.

out of line

Mark’s comment was out of line. He shouldn’t have said  that to a client.

be on sb’s back

My manager is on my back about being at work on time.

would not be seen/caught dead

I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing an ugly dress like  that.

have mixed feelings

Larry has mixed feelings about his new job.

draw a blank

When asked for her postal code, Amy drew a blank.

You name it.

A: Daddy, can I have anything on the menu?

B: Sure. You name it, you got it.

 know your stuff

Jim has been a mechanic for 20 years. He really knows  his stuff.

 left, right and centre

Businesses were closing in town left, right and  centre.

a change of heart

After seeing a mouse on the floor, I had a change of  heart about eating at the restaurant.

a long haul

 Peter told his boss that he wouldn’t quit. He’s in it  for the long haul.

be man enough

George was the only one man enough to admit he had  made a mistake.

be second to none

The apple pie at this restaurant is second to none.

know/learn the ropes

It took me a month to learn the ropes at my new job.

a breath of fresh air

The new employee, Gail, is a breath of fresh air in  the office.

get your act together

The coach told me that if I didn’t get my act  together, I’d be kicked off the team.

set your heart on sth

Eric has his heart set on participating in the  Olympics.

take sb/sth for granted

Keith took it for granted that his girlfriend would  always stay with him. Then, one day, she was gone.  

play it by ear

A: How long will you stay in Australia?

B: I’m not sure. I’m just going to play it by ear.

 put all your eggs in one basket

Greg invested his money in a few different areas. He  didn’t want to put all his eggs in one basket.

Birds of a feather (flock together)

A: It’s funny that all of Kate’s friends are  attractive.

B: So is she. I guess birds of a feather flock  together.

 have second thoughts

I’m starting to have second thoughts about my new  apartment.

pay the price for

Don’t touch my stuff. If you do, you’ll pay the price.  

a basket case

Darryl’s ex-wife is a total basket case.

on the dot

We arrived at 8 o’clock on the dot.

not have a clue

I don’t have a clue where Nunavut is.

have a shot at

Our team has a shot at winning the championship.

the word spread

It took only an hour for word to spread around the  office that John had been fired.  

safe and sound

I arrived home from my trip safe and sound.

be a pain (in the neck)

My brother is a real pain in the neck sometimes.

be in the same boat

The governments of Portugal and Greece are in the same  boat. They both need financial assistance.

be/feel at home

After two years, James felt at home in Prague.

be in sb’s good books

Ryan is not in his father’s good books right now  because he scratched his car.

get out of bed on the wrong side

I’d avoid talking with Bob today. He must’ve got out  of bed on the wrong side.

up-and-coming

Roger is an up-and-coming hockey player from Toronto.

get into gear

You’d better get into gear or you���ll be late.

out of the blue

One day, out of the blue, I received a letter from my  former schoolmate.

set the record straight

In a TV interview, the politician set the record  straight about his experiences in the military.

keep an eye on

The security guard kept an eye on the suspicious man.

a grey area

Because of a grey area in his job description, Peter  was not exactly sure what all of his responsibilities were.

get/let sb off the hook

Luckily for her, the policeman let Jane off the hook  for parking her car in a no-parking zone.

out of sight, out of mind.

Jim was happy when his ex-girlfriend moved out of his  apartment -- out of sight, out of mind.

give sb the cold shoulder

Ted gave his ex-girlfriend the cold shoulder when he  saw her at the party.

The ins and outs

It took Alan a year to learn all the ins and outs of  his job.

line of work

The fireman said that injuries were common in his line  of work.

make do

 I forgot to buy groceries so I had to make do with  what was left in the fridge.

get sth off your chest

 A: Keith, there’s something I need to get off my  chest.

B: What’s bothering you? Tell me.

know sth like the back of your hand

Takeshi knows the streets of Kyoto like the back of  his hand.

in the bag

After scoring their fourth goal, the victory was in  the bag.

be on the ball

Greg isn’t on the ball today. He keeps making silly  mistakes.

 off and on / on and off

 Tara and Mike have been seeing each other off and on  for a year now.

for the time being

I plan to move into my own apartment in September. For  the time being, I’m staying with friend Doug.

burn your bridges

Jack tried to be kind to his boss when he quit in job  because he didn’t want to burn his bridges.

get/be given the sack / sack (verb)

Alan got the sack for repeatedly coming into work  late.

on the back burner

The project was put on the back burner while the  company focused on a more immediate problem.

get cold feet

It’s normal to get cold feet before your wedding day.

hit rock bottom

After being fired and then kicked out of his apartment,  Jake really hit rock bottom.

talk shop

Everyone agreed not to talk shop at the staff party.

start/get the ball rolling

It’s time we start the ball rolling on the new  project.

get your foot in the door

Janice took a position as an administrative assistant  to get her foot in the door at the famous fashion company.

well-off / well-to-do

Lloyd comes from a well-to-do family. His friends  often ask to borrow money from him.

pull your weight

Lisa had to work extra hard because a few members of  the team weren’t pulling their weight.

a gut feeling

I have a gut feeling that something bad is going to  happen today.

if need be

If need be, we can take a taxi home.

in the middle of nowhere

Their car broke down in the middle of nowhere.

go with the flow

Jake didn’t want to go to another bar, but everyone  else did, so he went with the flow.

play your cards right

If Linda plays her cards right, she could be the  department manager by next year.

follow in sb’s footsteps

Bill chose to follow in his father’s footsteps and  become a dentist.

have your heart set on sth

 Alan has his heart set on participating in the 2020  Olympics.

You can say that again!

A: I met your boss today. He’s a real jerk.

B: You can say that again!

 I’m all ears

A: Doug, I’ve discovered the meaning of life.

B: Really? I’m all ears.

 small talk

After some small talk, the interview began.

put sth on hold

Greg had to put his weekend plans on hold and go into  the office on Saturday for a few hours.

 common ground

The two boys had some common ground: they both loved  football.

 politically (in)correct

Marcel told a politically incorrect joke at the  company party. No one laughed.

 have had it up to here

“I’ve had it up to here with this mess! Clean your  room now!”

 have your work cut out

If we want to finish this by Friday, then we’ve really  got our work cut out for us.

 get the picture

 A: The fight was horrible. One man kept punching the  other again and again and again--

B: OK. That’s enough. I get the picture.

see eye to eye

Mike and his father don’t see eye to eye on the issue  of abortion.

 call it a day

It’s already 6 pm. Let’s call it a day.

twist sb’s arm

I really had to twist my sister’s arm to get her to  pick me up from the airport.

 bring sth to light

The report brought some previously unknown facts to  light about the causes of cancer.

 be in the dark / keep sb in the dark

Most of the employees were kept in the dark about the  merger until the last minute.

go up in smoke

After breaking his leg, Darryl’s dream to play  professional hockey went up in smoke.

 go downhill

After his wife divorced him, Victor’s life really went  downhill.

 at your fingertips

With the World Wide Web, people have a vast amount of  information at their fingertips.

poke fun at

The kids poked fun at George because he was wearing  his t-shirt backwards.

 Easier said than done.

A: You should get a girlfriend who’s beautiful AND  kind.  B: Easier said than done.

 the bottom line

A: Doctor, what’s the bottom line?  B: If you don’t quit smoking, you’ll die within a year.

 call the shots

The boss told Janet to call the shots while he was  away.

know/learn sth by heart

Hank knows every Elvis song by heart.

get a move on

If we don’t get a move on, we’ll miss the bus.

miss the point

“You missed the point. The book was about the problems  of capitalism, not how to make money.”

 hold/stand your ground

Although their enemy outnumbered them, the soldiers  stood their ground.

 be child’s play

The tennis match was child’s play for Ben.

be only a matter of time

The scientist said it’s only a matter of time before a  big earthquake hits California.

 push your luck

A: Dad, can I have another ice cream cone?

B: Don’t push your luck, kid.

 raise (a few) eyebrows

Francine’s short skirt raised a few eyebrows.

a matter of opinion

The best restaurant in Europe is, of course, a matter  of opinion.

 be that as it may

A: Tyler is such a selfish guy.

B: Be that as it may, he’s your brother. You have to  love him.

 if/when push comes to shove

If push comes to shove, I’ll be here to support you.

against your better judgement

Against his better judgement, Jim let his friend drive  home drunk.

 add insult to injury

To add insult to injury, Greg’s wife left him for his  best friend.

 the last straw

When the boss told me to come in to work on Saturday,  that was the last straw.

 be up in the air

Jim’s vacation plans were still up in the air.

not have the faintest/foggiest idea

I don’t have the faintest idea where Wollongong is.

the icing on the cake

Paula enjoyed the concert, and getting to meet the  artist backstage after the show was the icing on the cake.

get/jump/leap on the bandwagon

 Janet doesn’t normally watch hockey but she jumped on  the bandwagon because her city’s team was in the playoffs.

the fine/small print

My father reads the fine print on every contract he  signs.

stuck/be in a rut

The singer was stuck in a rut. All of her recent songs  sounded the same.

 run-of-the-mill

Kate is a waitress at a run-of-the-mill bar and  restaurant in London.

 face the music

Tina knew that one day her parents would see her  tattoo and then she’d have to face the music.

 to keep sth/sb at bay

 Bodyguards kept the reporters at bay while the movie  stars entered the theatre.

be up in arms

People were up in arms [about/over] the government’s  plan to raise the retirement age.

bite your tongue

Jack bit his tongue while his manager criticized his  performance.

leave a lot to be desired

The design of our office building leaves a lot to be  desired.

off the beaten track

Mike and Mary had dinner a quiet restaurant off the  beaten track in Paris.

pick sb’s brains

Mike is a marketing genius. People often invite him to  lunch or dinner so they can pick his brains.

whet your appetite

The 30-second trailer was designed to whet people’s appetites.  

sour grapes

A: People with nice cars just want attention.

B: That sounds like sour grapes because you can’t  afford one.

 a blessing in disguise

Losing his job turned out to be a blessing in  disguise. Afterwards, Roger found his dream job.

give sb the benefit of the doubt

I told the teacher that it wasn’t me who broke the  window. Thankfully, he gave me the benefit of the doubt.

jog sb’s memory

Jeff said he couldn’t remember the song’s lyrics, but  hearing the first few words jogged his memory.

foot the bill

George agreed to foot the bill for dinner.

have it in for sb

A: Why are you hiding from your brother?  B: He has it in for me. He knows I lost his football.

be in the red

The company has been in the red since September.

get/catch wind of sth

Once the school principal caught wind of the problem,  she called a teachers’ meeting.

a rule of thumb

As a rule of thumb, I don’t eat food that smells bad.

be on the same wavelength

The group members were all on the same wavelength, so  they were able to finish their project quickly.

up to speed

After her holiday, it took Kate a few hours to get  back up to speed on the recent developments in her company.

play devil’s advocate

Although Jim is against the death penalty, he told his  friend he was for it just to play devil’s advocate.

bend/lean over backwards

Lisa bent over backwards to get her brother a job in  her company, so she was surprised to learn he quit today.

pass the buck

The politician passed the buck onto someone else  instead of accepting responsibility for the problem.

call sb’s bluff

When Mike heard his friend say she knew all of the  world’s capitals, he called her bluff and asked her to name the capital of  Mozambique.

have a chip on your shoulder

 Tim has had a chip on his shoulder about businesswomen  since he lost his job to a woman three years ago.

breathe down sb’s neck

Jim found it hard to focus on his work with his boss  breathing down his neck.

climb to the top of the career/corporate ladder

Having children can be an obstacle for women who want  to climb (to the top of) the corporate ladder.

red tape

 Mark’s visa application was held up for six months  because of red tape.

Give sb free rein

When his father died, Mark was given free rein to do  whatever he liked with the family business.

the be-all-and-end-all

 Getting into Harvard Law School became the  be-all-and-end-all of Tony’s existence.

blow sth out of proportion

The media blew the story out of proportion.

take the plunge

Jerry has finally decided to take the plunge. Tomorrow  he’ll start looking for a full-time office job.

in a bind

Susan is really in a bind. She has two essays due  tomorrow and she hasn't started either of them.

break the ice

At the start of the meeting, Mike tried to break the  ice by telling a joke.

bury the hatchet

Susan and Mike agreed that it was time to bury the  hatchet. They apologized and decided to be friends.

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl XLV

PREGAME

This is a Fox broadcast. Looks like it has at least some of the pregame show.

NFL presents Walter Payton Award to Madieu Williams of the Minnesota Vikings. He wasn't able to be there because he was overseas visiting soldiers in Iraq.

Lea Michele from Glee sings America The Beautiful. Slightly botches (or maybe intentionally changes) the lyrics. It's subtle, but it's there. "Purple mountain majesties."

Cutaway, G.W. and Laura Bush.

Star Spangled Banner. Christina Aguilera, ending the streak of three consecutive American Idol contestants to perform the national anthem. Aguilera badly screws up the lyrics. Seriously? It's not that hard.

Coin toss. New members of the Hall of Fame. Chris Hanburger, Richard Dent, Shannon Sharpe, Marshall Faulk, Deion Sanders. Steelers call tails. Deion Sanders tosses the coin. It's heads. NFC somehow wins the toss AGAIN. Green Bay defers, Pittsburgh will receive. This is the 14th consecutive coin toss win for the NFC.

Packers CB Charles Woodson: Told teammates don't think about anything else, just winning.

Steelers coach Mike Tomlin: Don't know how much experience helps. Both teams fired up. We're here to play and here to win.

FIRST QUARTER

Good return from Antonio Brown. 37 yard runback to the Pittsburgh 36.

Steelers C Doug Legursky starting his first NFL game at center.

First play, quick outside pass to Hines Ward for four yards.

Steelers go three and out. Three plays, zero yards, one punt.

The Steelers' Jeremy Kapinos to punt. I have no idea who that is. Tramon Williams back to receive.

Williams drops it! He nearly got trucked by a teammate (Sam Shields) as he tried to catch the ball. Packers recover. They got lucky. I have no clue what in the world Shields was doing.

Dude. Sam. Let the guy catch the ball.

Third and 9, Pack converts. Rodgers downfield to Donald Driver. First down near midfield.

They couldn't convert the next third down. Aaron Rodgers makes a perfect throw downfield to Jordy Nelson, who can't make the catch. Tim Masthay will punt it away.

(Annoyed grunt)

Masthay kicks it into the end zone.

Nice run off tackle by Mendenhall. 15 yard carry. Next play, another 10 yards. Ripping off chucks of yardage - they ran the same play twice in a row.

Steelers try to throw downfield on third and two. Incomplete pass and Kapinos returns. He punts it into the end zone.

Packers have 15 players on IR, 6 opening day starters among them.

Early, it looks like the Packers are able to throw but not run and the Steelers are able to run but not throw.

Oh, look, it's Cameron Diaz feeding Alex Rodriguez.

A lot going on here: John Madden is texting, President Bush is reading something, Laura Bush is extremely happy, Condi Rice is having an enjoyable conversation, Emmitt Smith looks forlorn, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones are watching themselves on the big screen, there’s a cheesehead kid two rows behind Laura Bush, and the kid next to Catherine Zeta Jones looks like he’s taken too much acid.

Packers steadily driving downfield. They're closing in on the Pittsburgh 30 with just under 5 minutes left in the quarter.

3rd and 1, absolutely perfect throw from Aaron Rodgers to Jordy Nelson. There was only one person on the field who could have gotten to that ball and it was Nelson. 29 yard touchdown pass. 7-0 Packers, late first quarter.

Good return by Antonio Brown, out past the 40. It's coming back though - block in the back. Half the distance to the goal - Steelers start inside their own 10.

Absolutely horrible throw by Roethlisberger on first down. He just heaved it downfield in the face of the pass rush. Nick Collins picks it off and runs it all the way back for a touchdown. 14-0 Packers. Aikman says Roethlisberger couldn't get anything on the throw and it just hung in the air.

Excessive celebration on the Packers - Crosby kicks off from his own 15. Steelers get the ball at their own 36 to start their next drive.

Packers: 14 points in 24 seconds.

Chris Myers: Steelers DB Bryant McFadden was off the field injured during the Nelson TD pass, but is back and ready to play.

Roethlisberger slips and falls on a second down pass incompletion. His left knee just gave out. He's extremely gimpy out there and it's 3rd and 9 from the Steeler 49.

It’s not great when your quarterback does that during a follow through.

Nah, his knee is fine. There's nobody open on the next play and Roethlisberger scrambles for 17 yards or so. First down at the Packers' 33 as the first quarter ends. 14-0 Packers.

SECOND QUARTER

Steelers backup QB Byron Leftwich loosening up on the sideline just in case. Roethlisberger stays in the game for now.

Second and 12, Tremon Williams with a great play to knock the ball away from Emmanuel Sanders.

Next play, Sanders slips and falls while running his route and Roethlisberger hits him while he's still on his knees. Nice throw for a first down.

Sanders limps off, looks upset, and throws his helmet to the ground. He looks like someone who knows he's legitimately injured.

Steelers throw underneath to Wallace on third and 7. Gains four yards. Here's former BGSU Falcon Shaun Suisham for a field goal attempt. Got it. 14-3 Pack, 11:01 left in the half.

Emmanuel Sanders being carted to the locker room. Some kind of ankle or foot injury.

Stop me if you've heard this one: Packers throw underneath on third and 5, they gain 4 and Tim Masthay will punt.

Replay shows Packers receiver Donald Driver twisted his leg underneath him during a tackle.

Whoa, Fox actually mentioning Ben Roethlisberger's suspension for "violating league policy", which is a polite way to say he maybe possibly sorta kinda sexually assaulted someone, allegedly. He wasn't charged. I should make that very clear.

Donald Driver walking to the Packer locker room under the care of trainers.

Steelers facing a first and 20 deep in their own territory, throw for 16 on first down, then Mewelde Moore runs it for seven yards on second down. Steelers moving.

Buck: Steelers moving the ball well on the ground. Aikman: Yeah, they are, but I'm not sure how worried the Packers will be about that. If Roethlisberger is hobbling and the pass rush can get to him, the Steeler passing game will have problems.

Chris Myers: Team doctor talked to Roethlisberger before this series, Ben said he was able to run.

3rd and 6, what a throw from Roethlisberger to Randle-El for a first down. There was only one person who could have caught it.

Buck: Clay Matthews says he'll mirror Roethlisberger a lot - sometimes he'll blitz, but often he'll be ready to stop a scramble.

Near midfield, Roethlisberger forces a throw into traffic and Jared Bush picks it off. Bush faked blitz, dropped into zone, and read the QB's eyes. Nice play.

Bush is #24.

Packers have four minutes to score before halftime. Rodgers to Nelson on an out to the Pittsburgh 33. James Starks runs for 12 more on the next play. First and 10 from the Steelers' 21 with 2:40 in the half.

Rodgers. What a quarterback. He rifles one across the middle to Greg Jennings at the goal line for a 21 yard touchdown. Troy Polamalu decks the receiver as the ball arrives, but Jennings makes the grab. 21-3 Packers with 2:24 left in the half.

It was that close to being knocked down.

Fox graphic: Packers have led every postseason game this year by 11+ points at the half.

Antonio Brown returns the kickoff to the 23. 2:18 left.

Roethlisberger : 8-14, 66 yards, 2 INT. 29.8 passer rating.

First play, Roethlisberger goes deep. Just barely gets the ball over the outstretched hand of a defender. 37 yard completion to Randle El. DB Sam Shields is injured on the tackle and walking to the locker room as we hit the two minute warning.

Now Charles Woodson is injured. Falls on his shoulder as the first down pass falls incomplete. Both starting cornerbacks are now hurt for the Packers.

Woodson goes to the locker room as Roethlisberger completes a third and 10 pass to Hines Ward for 14. At the very least, the Steelers are in field goal range.

Now Roethlisberger to Hines Ward at the 8. Less than a minute left, 1st and goal.

Next play, Roethlisberger buys some time and finds Ward alone in the end zone. 21-10 Packers, 0:39 left in the half.

Now Nick Collins is going to the locker room injured for the Packers. The Green Bay defensive backs are dropping like flies.

Packers don't have a ton of interest in moving the ball here. They hand it off to Starks up the middle, he gains a few yards, and they call it a half. It's 21-10 at the long break.

HALFTIME

Commercials: A creepy "people in uncanny valley fairy tale costumes" for AT&T. Troy Aikman for Reliant Energy, which I think is a local ad. KDFW morning news promo.

Bradshaw: Packers offense has done a great job of mixing it up. They did everything except roll Rodgers out.

Jimmy Johnson: Packers tackling extremely well - Steelers not able to break big plays because the tackling is so solid.

Strahan: With all the injured defensive backs, the first drive of the second half is huge for the Packers' confidence.

Howie Long: Steelers have 25 players who have played in the Super Bowl. They won't panic in the second half.

Tom Brady unanimously named MVP. Got all 50 votes.

Least valuable hairstylist.

Black Eyed Peas. I Gotta Feeling. Fergie's microphone isn't on for the first few words she's singing. We didn't miss much. She sounds terrible. Dancers in light-up costumes making weird green arrows. At lead one of them is burned out. Oh, here's apl.de.ap and Taboo. Good for them. Nice to see you, fellas. Dancers attempting to make concentric circles around the stage and failing. Slash appears from below the stage. Will.i.am introduces him. Fergie sings Sweet Child O' Mine horribly. She sounds like someone at karaoke trying to do an Axl Rose impersonation. She also badly mimics his dance moves. Now she's grinding on Slash as he tries to do his job. Leave the man alone, Fergie. Pump It. Will.i.am is killing it, but he's alone in that category. Apl.de.ap is really selling the dance moves, so there's that. Let's Get It Started. Sounds like it's sped up. Inexplicably, Usher has appeared. He's obviously lip synching, which is something the Peas should have considered. This mix is horrendous. Fergie is a trillion times louder than Will. They've changed Usher's hit song to "Oh My Gosh". Overhead shot of the stage - it's supposed to say love, but part of the V doesn't light up. Where Is The Love? Now they're playing The Time. Fergie still can't sing. Rock That Body. The dancers look like what would happen if Daft Punk and Minecraft had children. Recorded voice at the end says "THAT WAS MEGA." That was...something.

Black Keys-backed highlight package as Fox comes back from commercial. Much better.

THIRD QUARTER

Pam Oliver: Charles Woodson has a collarbone injury and is out for the game. Sam Shields has a shoulder problem and will return.

Chris Myers: Emmanuel Sanders out with a foot injury for the Steelers. Ben Roethlisberger is fine but "hacked off" at the way things are going.

Two penalties in the first three attempts at a play for the Packers on the first possession of the quarter. Holding, 10 yard completion, false start. It's second and 15.

Oh, man, on third and 5 James Jones drops a perfectly thrown pass that would have been a touchdown. Instead Masthay punts. Not much of a return from Antonio Brown, but there's a flag on the play. It's a horrendous call. Packers are called for a personal foul facemask but the only contact that was made to the face was an unintenional brush as the defender's arm went past.

Steelers get the ball at midfield. Mendenhall runs for 17 on the first play of the drive and plows into a cameraman on the sideline. Mendenhall is injured, but it's unclear how badly he's hurt.

3rd and 1, backup running back Isaac Redman breaks free for around 15 yards. It's now first and goal from the 8.

Mendenhall back in the game and carries the rock into the end zone on first down. The left guard pulled right, blew a hole in the defense, and Mendenhall followed. 21-17 Packers, 10:19 left in the third.

That Steelers drive was 50 yards, all of it on the ground. Zero passing attempts.

Obligatory Fox graphic: Largest deficit overcome to win the Super Bowl. It's still 10 points: Washington in Super Bowl XXII and New Orleans in XLIV.

Pro-Steelers crowd getting into it. Buck mentions it's suddenly become a road game for the Packers.

Aikman: When the Steelers came back in Super Bowl XXX, it felt like 75% of the people in the stands were Pittsburgh fans.

Packers go three and out. Rodgers sacked by James Harrison on third and 7. Masthay gets more work. He'll boot it away. The Steelers are flying right now.

There's a shot of the Steelers' quarterbacks on the sideline. All three played in the MAC: Roethlisberger at Miami, Batch at Eastern Michigan, Leftwich at Marshall.

3rd and 1 near midfield, Roethlisberger burns a timeout. That might be big later.

Roethlisberger bobbles the snap on that third down play, hands it to Mewelde Moore. It looks like he's stopped, but Moore bounces it outside and the Packers lose contain on him. First down.

Now Roethlisberger to Ward inside the 30. Steelers looking sharp right now - very much on the front foot and the better team at the moment.

Steelers stall near the 35. Zombo sacks Roethlisberger on 3rd and 13. Suisham will try a field goal from 52. Goodness. It's wide left by a mile. Still 21-17 Packers with 4:29 left in the third quarter.

Not close.

First play after the missed field goal. Rodgers downfield to Jordy Nelson for 18. First down at the Pittsburgh 40.

Shot of Donald Driver on the sideline with a boot on his foot/ankle. I can't imagine he'll be back.

Steelers burn another timeout, this time on defense in the third quarter. Oof.

After the game, "TV's best comedy, Glee". I had no idea it was a comedy. Not a clue. All I know is that I never watched because I hate musicals.

Rodgers looks for a slant on third and 8. Overshoots his receiver. It's decision time. Masthay will punt from the Pittsburgh 38. Fair catch at the 12.

Steelers go three and out. Roethlisberger overthrows Wallace on third down. Not a great throw. Kapinos punts. Gets a great roll to the Green Bay 25.

Flag on the play. Tremon Williams of the Packers got upset that a Steeler tried to shove him into the punt, so he went upside that guy's head. Not a smart play. No idea why he was anywhere near the ball. Punt + penalty add up to 66 yards.

3rd and 10, Rodgers with a rifled throw to Swain. It's caught for a first down. Ball ripped out of his hands, Packers recover. Officials rule it an incomplete pass. Packers will challenge the call. I think they have a case on this - he took a couple of steps after catching the ball.

Mike Pereira, Fox expert, says they got the call correct on the field.

Replay: Catch, step, step, step, tackle. Ball out. Packers recover. I want a slow-mo replay. Pereira doesn't. Says you can make anything look like a catch in slow motion. Maybe he's right, particularly when the receiver takes three steps after catching the ball. You can definitely make that look like a catch.

I see catch, step, step, step, tackle, ball out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here's the call: Ruling confirmed. Incomplete pass. Okay, if you say so.

This will be the Packers' fourth punt of the quarter. Good kick. Packers called for ineligible man downfield. Former BGSU Falcon Diyral Briggs. Dang it, Diyral. Steelers will make them rekick the ball after a five yard penalty.

Not a good punt the second time. Brown catches it and is knocked out of bounds immediately at the Green Bay 41.

Steelers probably only have time for one play before the quarter ends. Mendenhall gains 8 on the ground. It's 21-17 Packers as we head to the fourth.

Commercials: AT&T. Troy Aikman for Reliant Energy again. Fox 4 News promo.

FOURTH QUARTER

First play of the quarter, Mendenhall runs. Ball pops out when he's hit - Packers recover. It's the third Steeler turnover of the game. They get the ball at their 45.

Fox graphic: Teams with 3+ takeaways in the Super Bowl are 30-4. I assume one of the four is the Cowboys in Super Bowl V. Can't think of the other three off the top of my head.

2nd and 10. Rodgers with another terrific throw to Jordy Nelson and it's another drop by Nelson. He's having a terrible game - three drops.

Jordy makes up for it and then some. Makes a catch coming across the middle against a blitzing defense and there's nobody out there to tackle him. Nelson out of bounds at the 2. First and goal, Packers.

Rodgers sacked on first down. Second down, gets it to Greg Jennings in the end zone. I'm not entirely certain he got both feet down at first glance. I guess he dragged his toe. Yep. He did. 28-17 Packers, 11:57 left in regulation.

If you give Aaron Rodgers and Greg Jennings that much open space, you’re hosed.

Commercials: Pepsi Max, Rio.

Steelers moving the ball well on their next drive. They're inside Green Bay territory in less than a minute.

Now a quick screen to Mike Wallace for 15 or so. Clock ticks below 10:00. Steelers still need two touchdowns, or at the very least a touchdown, a two point conversion, and a field goal.

Big holding penalty on Flozell Adams. Steelers have 1st and 20 from the Packer 43 as we approach 9:00 on the clock.

2nd and 18, Roethlisberger to Ward for 15 yards. Clock below 8:00, but 3rd and 3 is a whole lot better than 2nd and 18.

There's one of the touchdowns they need. Roethlisberger lofts one down the left sideline to Wallace. It beats a blitz and he scores easily. 28-23, Steelers going for 2.

Pittsburgh was 2-for-2 on two point conversions this year. Make it 3 for 3. Roethlisberger runs an option play, flips it to Antwaan Randle El, and it's a three-point game. 28-25. Steelers right back in this one.

I dig this play.

Steelers have never led in this game. Were down 14-0 and 21-3.

First play of the next drive, Rodgers sacked. Once again, Pittsburgh is fired up.

Packers: 37 pass plays, 9 rushing plays

3rd and 10, what a throw. Rodgers with a laser to Greg Jennings down the seam. About an inch past the defensive back's hands and right in stride.

Next play, Starks for 14 yards to the Steelers' 30. Clock now below 5:00, Packers still up 3 and approaching field goal range.

Pack killing clock now. Starks up the middle for a yard. Clock below 4:00, 2nd and 9.

Second down, Rodgers goes downfield to James Jones. Makes the grab and steps out of bounds at the Pittsburgh 8. First and goal.

First down, completion for one yard. Second down, completion for two yards. Clock now below 2:30. Sure would be nice for the Steelers to have those timeouts.

Incomplete into the end zone with 2:10 left. Presumably, Mason Crosby will come on for a chip shot field goal.

Yep. 23 yarder. Got it. Packers up 31-25 with 2:07 left.

Kickoff return to the 26. There's a flag down. Personal foul on the Steelers. OUCH. They'll start at their own 13, needing a touchdown. We've reached the two minute warning.

15 yard completion to Heath Miller. 1:40 and counting.

5 yard completion to Hines Ward in bounds. 1:10 and counting.

Roethlisbeger throws it away on second down. 1:02.

Replay shows the personal foul came after the kickoff return, when a Steeler just shoved a Packer out of frustration.

Roethlisberger overshoots everyone on third down. Buck and Aikman can't agree on who the throw was to - that's how wild the throws was.

4th and 5. 0:56 left. They need to convert or it's game over.

It's game over. Incomplete pass on fourth down. Fox commentators think WR Mike Wallace got mugged by the DB. Replay shows it was just a really nice defensive play.

Packers in the victory formation. Rodgers downs it on first down with 0:46 left. A bunch of people go running out onto the field for some reason. It's not over, you guys.

Okay, now it is. Rodgers downs it on second down. Game over. Final score: Packers 31, Steelers 25.

POSTGAME

Packers WR Greg Jennings: "It's a great day to be great, baby!"

Jennings: "To God be the glory." We've overcome adversity all year. Defensive captain gets hurt, #1 receiver gets hurt, we were able to overcome again.

Buck: Mike McCarthy grew up in Pittsburgh as a Steelers fan. Now he's a Super Bowl-winning coach of the Packers.

Packers' 13th NFL championship. All-time record.

Roger Staubach, Super Bowl VI MVP to present the trophy. They skipped Super Bowl V MVP Chuck Howley.

Mark Murphy, Packers president: We have the best fans in the league, couldn't do it without them.

Ted Thompson, GM: Very proud of this team.

Mike McCarthy: Emotional halftime, a bunch of bumps along the way, but the Lombardi Trophy is coming home to Green Bay.

Aaron Rodgers named MVP.

Rodgers: Great group of men. A lot of character. Proud to be able to share this with them.

Rodgers wins a Camaro convertible.

Cutaway: Bart Starr celebrating.

[vitalmindandbody]

The Fifth Element at 20: gender-bending sci-fi or sexist opening shambles?

Luc Bessons 1997 undertaking boasted a wildly nonconformist persona who accepted gender names, but likewise objectified women and relied on a lot of men

Given that its supposed to be giving us fleeting, tantalising peeks of the nebulous future, Hollywood sci-fi is often astonishingly conservative. The brand-new Alien movie boasts a lesbian couple among its gang of settlers to another world, while there was plenty at the end of the debates over makes decision to give Sulu a male partner in last years Star Trek: Beyond. And hitherto both these examples are truly exclusively newsworthy because its so rare that we see anyone in space at all( surely in mainstream cinema) whos not heterosexual.

Star Wars love hoping to see queer representation in the long-running tales have picked up on a few moments of friendship between John Boyegas Finn and Oscar Isaacs Poe Dameron in The Force Awakens as evidence for a relationship. And theres little wrong with that, except that it does seem to be an example of extreme wishful thinking. But it might be worth noting that a full 20 years ago, Luc Bessons The Fifth Element gave us a hero so outrageously unconventional on both a gender issues and sexuality grade that it forms Hollywoods current soothing tilt towards a most diverse depiction of humanitys future look pretty weak for purposes of comparison. In Ruby Rhod, playing with eye-bulging, lunging sexuality by the young Chris Tucker, the frenetic sci-fi romp presented us with a hero of rare homosexual sparkle, more than two decades before fans requested Marvel to give Captain America a boyfriend.

Decked out in extravagant Jean-Paul Gaultier getups, and investing most of the movie either wailing in high-camp repugnance at the vision of immigrants taking over an luxury intergalactic cruise liner or enticing fluttery-eyed seat vixens into virtual orgasms merely by his proximity, Rhod is a persona whose abandonment of gender standards is so heightened that they seem to have arrived through a wormhole from its first year 3000, never mind 2263( The Fifth Elements ostensible time frame ). At one point Tucker chooses to be called Miss Ruby, and hitherto there is a definite clue of phallicism in that rock virtuoso surname. Furthermore, Rhod appears to be the very explanation of red-blooded masculinity. Is it any wonder that Prince was the example for the character, with Tucker merely recruited formerly it became clear the violet one was not going to sign on the dotted line?

How ahead of his time was Besson here? Is Rhod the film-makers vision of a society so comfy in its own skin that gender capacities have slowly defrosted away, or simply a thinking of the directors nutty, French comic book-inspired sci-fi leanings, a progressive pearl structured solely by category happenstance? Does the talkshow emcees evident heterosexuality undercut the bravery of the specific characteristics inclusion, or add to the sense that cultures of the future might not really care who their heroes love , nor how they define themselves, rendered they rock a high-necked leopard-print jumpsuit like it was designed for them at a genetic stage?

The inclusion of Rhod is hardly Bessons only ridiculous call in The Fifth Element. We should not forget that the Frenchman also establishes us a female Christ figure in Milla Jovovichs title character described throughout as a supreme being and saviour. And yet theres an contention to be made that these unorthodox references only stand out so much precise because Bessons space epic is otherwise so crushingly conservative.

The real hero of The Fifth Element is Bruce Williss Korben Dallas, a blue-collar grey person with members of the military background whos called in to save “the worlds” from a giant pitch-black planet of ardor and fatality, despite the fact that Jovovich has just been hyped up as the answer to all humanitys devotions. Its Dallas who rescues her after shes blown half to flecks by Gary Oldmans scheming Zorg; Dallas who discovers the other four constituents by delving them out of an alien vocalists stomach and Dallas who works out how to loose all five components to destroy the black whirling planet of fate just before it affects the Earth. For good calibrate, he then gets to have sex with female space Jesus as the ascribes reel, rather in the form of 60 s James Bond.

Other aspects of The Fifth Element are far more problematic, from the films depiction of heedles identikit flight attendant, cleavage-thrusting future McDonalds waitresses and Dallass unseen father, whos forever announcing him up for a nag. It seems that this is a future predominantly occupied by brainless infinite bimbos and stereotypes of middle-aged ladies. It doesnt facilitate that( apart from Jovovich) pretty much everybody in a position of power, from Tom Lister Jrs president to Brion James General Munroe, is a man.

But perhaps its unfair to adjudicate Bessons film according to progressive mores in 2017. This is, after all, a movie that was fantasy up by the film-maker as a comic book-obsessed teen, at a time when the queerest happen about mainstream infinite movies was C3POs obvious open alliance with R2-D2. It is the very explanation of boys own cinema. Perhaps we should be content that in the virile, lissom figure of Rhod, the French chairman established a hero so eccentrically kinky that their like is certainly not be seen in big-budget Hollywood sci-fi for at the least the next 20 years.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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