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#no it wasnt the first time but we thought they fixed it
cheese-anon-real · 10 months
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i am clarifying right now that the writing is going to take a while, I'm not gonna get too specific as to *why*, but uh
yeeeaaaah
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handsomegentlebutch · 6 months
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My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.
#butch speaks#it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head#when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god#the words came naturally to me#but they meant nothing#i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away#i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred#i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake#i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex#fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic#i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun#the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO#the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like#he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer#then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic#i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group#i was an altar servant and in the choir#i even used to speak/understand a little latin#imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao#grateful to have grown up poor in that regard#hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.
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our-lady-of-mcr · 5 months
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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exciting day so far
#264 (the couple who pays extra to have their bed made every day (which is crazy)) knocked over a CLOCK in their room#the wife did it on accident luckily she was ok.but i had 2 hunt down maintenance to fix da clock and i thought i found a guy but apparently#he wasnt actually a maintenance guy So i might kms. but he said hed find a maintenance guy for me so..#bc my boss was like ok ryan (head of maintenance (wnd housekeeping but hes a maintenance guy. my boss is the real head of housekeeping lol)#might be in the maintenance shop. and i was like okie went in and he wasnt 💀💀💀 so i just saw a guybwearing black which i thinkk is#maintenance color and i was like halp me ! and he was like erm yeah ill find a maintenance guy for you ^-^#it was so awk tho. my job on weekdays (except tuesdays bc thats the day they get cleaned) is 2 make the bed and its usually umm#shes usually in da shower with her caretaker. not like eith but. ykwim. and the husband is usually asleep on da couch#but i got there like 10 minutes early so they were both up and also yhe husband was like Are you a guy can you help and i was like erm no#and i misunderstood i thought he was having like#a medical or#something else issue. yk. but then i overheard him talking to the wifes caretaker and realized he said CLOCK. and i was like ohhh ok..#but i finished the bed and said okie ill find a maintenance guy t come help asap :]#and he was like thanks 👍 hes very sweet idk if we had spoken b4. well probably but idr much of it#i think ive mainly spoken to da wife b4. shes very sweet shes had a stroke so its a bit difficult to understand her sometimes but shes very#nice.. i ws sooo worried thenfirst day bc allegedly we got there early (aka the time they usually went to do the bed) so now k do it at 9#which is mildly inconvenient but not too bad. ideally id be making the bed b4 i starty rooms 4 the day bc i have like an hour anf a half to#do my morning work. so i could just slot ir in real easy.. but its all good jo worries. but ya so she was kind of irritated the first day#and also it was my first time speaking to someone who had had a stroke. so i didnt realize thats just like. how she ralks and thought she#was just super duper mad. and i was like eep! but its ok.
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billowyy · 1 year
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i-cant-sing · 6 months
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TIME TRAVELER AU PT 2
Original post/idea here. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here.
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
I fucked up.
You thought as you sat on the bed, holding your head in your hands.
I fucked up so baaaaaad.
Not only have you healed Baldwin of his leprosy, forever changing history of the LEPER KING, but also managed to somehow be his bride. To make matters EVEN worse, you cant just up and leave right now because you dont know the disastrous effects it'll have on the future now that Baldwin wont die of leprosy, which means that the kingdom of Jerusalem wont fall to Salauddin and his muslim army and after that its just a domino effect.
You tried to view your options here.
I stay here, marry Baldwin and fuck up the fabric of time and space because how can someone from the future marry someone from the past? Wouldnt I cease to exist?
I leave, return to my time where authorities arrest me for fucking around with time- that is, if I even exist in the future now that I've altered history. Who knows if my ancestors survived/were born after this?
No. Neither option is good. I need to stay here and fix this. But in a way that i dont draw too much attention to myself so that im so insignificant that nobody remembers, let alone writes about me in the history books.
You were drawn out of your thoughts with someone knocking on your door. "Come in." You said, straightening yourself.
A couple of servants walked in, all women. "Princess Y/n." They all courtesied. "We've been sent here by his majesty to prepare you for dinner with him."
Princess? Ah yes. Only a couple of hours ago, Baldwin had proposed to you, I guess the concept of asking wasnt a thing here as he just slipped on the big beautiful ring on your finger.
You narrowed your eyes at them. "First of all, Im not a princess. You will address me as Y/n only. And secondly, Im not going to join him for dinner, so there's no need to prepare me" The maids all shared a look of confusion before the head servant spoke.
"But we cant address you as anything else until you wed the king, after which you will be our queen, princess."
"Didnt I just tell you not to call me princess? Just call me Y/n!" The head maid shook her head. "Princess, we can not do that. If we do, then we would be punished. And we must prepare you for dinner with his majesty!" The maids moved ahead to start helping you but you raised a hand, halting them.
"I said, no." You said sternly.
"What... what will we tell the king, princess? He's expecting you-"
"Tell him i cant come because Im sic- no, Im not feeling well and Id like to be alone." You cant say "sick" in this era, because that means "death sentence" here and you dont want to be fretted over and bring attention to yourself as "the king's fiancee got SICK!". Besides, you do need to be away from Baldwin as much as possible and have some time to plot your moves.
-
You had pulled out your notebook and began writing out dates and historic events of this era to plan your escape. You're trying to find some sort of shortcut where Baldwin gets sick again and dies, leaving his kingdom in the hands of his sister and brother in law, who will bring its downfall-
Someone knocked on your door gently. "Princess?" You quickly hid your notebook. "Come in."
Baldwin walked inside and towards you, eyes worried as they scanned you up and down.
"I heard you're not feeling well?" He asked and before you had a chance to back away, he had cupped your cheeks in his hands tenderly. "What's wrong? Shall I fetch the royal physician?"
"No." You replied with your face smushed in his hands. "I'm fine." You pulled your face away his large hands.
Confusion spread through his blue orbs. "Then why did you not join me for dinner?" He asked, using a hand to push your hair over your ear, not taking the hint that you didn't want him touching you.
"I just-" what possible excuse could you come up with that would be both effective and not insulting enough to have your head chopped off. "you- you dont care about me."
Baldwin looked at you in bewilderment. "I dont... care about you? Princess, how can you say that?" He tried to cup your cheek again but you backed away before he could, putting on a face of hurt.
"How can I not? You dont care about what I want, or even ask me what I need?" You feingned pain in your voice, turning away from him for dramatic effect.
He grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him, his pupils grew wide as if trying to search for what it is that you need. "My love, what do you want? Just say the word, and I'll give it to you."
You looked down, again for the theatrics, and Baldwin lifted your chin. "Go on."
"You never- never asked me to marry you."
"Huh? But I did today-"
"No, you stated it- demanded I marry you." You furrowed your brows and looked down again.
Baldwin smiled. Of course, how could he have not asked you? You were a girl after all, you want to be courted the traditional way. Its not your fault that you dont know that kings do not ask permission for things. They just get it, because who would refuse to marry a king?
He kissed your forehead, lifting your chin again to meet his eyes. "Im sorry, princess. I shouldve asked." He took your hands in his and had that charming smile again. "Will you marry me, Y/n?"
"No." You shook your head. "I... I cant marry you, your majesty." You said, adding tears into your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern.
"What? Why?" You tried pulling your hands away but he didnt let go, tightening his grip ever so slightly.
"I-" well, you could say that youre not catholic and the church would never let you two get married, but you also dont wanna be tortured for being a "heretic". Maybe religious differences could be the last plan. Taking your silence as hesitance, Baldwin spoke. "I can offer you everything and more. Jerusalem would be yours. What is it that I lack that anyone else could offer?"
"I am not a good match for you!" Ah yes, lets do the typical "its not you, its me." You bit your lip as you yanked your hands out of his and walked towards the window, your back to him (theatrics). "You and I are not equals- no we are nowhere close! Youre a king, your father was a king, your family is royalty. I come from nothing, as did my ancestors. There will never be stability in our marriage when we come from such different backgrounds!" You never thought that you would be putting yourself down and call yourself "inferior" to break up with a man.
Silence hung in the air, as you held your breath.
"Youre right." You heard him say behind you. "We are not equals, we never will be." For some reason, instead of being relieved, a chill ran down your spine. Baldwin wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "I may be a king, but youre far superior to me. You're an angel, sent to me by God, and you saved me. I wouldnt be king anymore if you werent here, princess."
Warmth spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, both due to the close proximity and his words. Sensing your bashfulness, he chuckled, kissing your cheek as he turned you around to face him. You could hear your own heart beat at how close he was.
Baldwin tilted his head, half lidded eyes staring at you. "Youre everything and more that I could ask for, princess. Never put yourself down and compare yourself to me, hm?" He said, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving away, but not detaching himself completely as he took ahold of your hand and looked back at you.
"Now that this is settled, let us go eat. I've had the servants prepare a feast for us and then we can discuss wedding arrangements-" shit shit shit shit shit fuck it!
"I'm not catholic!" Baldwin halted at that. You've already said it, might as well dig yourself a deeper hole. You let the tears form in your eyes. "Im... Muslim. I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to think I was working for Salauddin and spying on you for him, you know I wasnt! I really did only want to know about you. Please believe me, I wasnt-"
"I believe you."
What? Just like that.
"You- you believe me?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Once again, Im sorry i didnt tell you I was a Muslim, but dont worry, I'll pack my things and leave tonight-"
"Why? We still have to get married."
You blinked slowly. "But... Im Muslim?"
Baldwin shrugged. "So? It doesnt change anything."
You looked at him in bafflement. "It does! It changes everything! We cant get married! Im a Muslim! The church wont allow interfaith marriages, and I dont intend on converting to catholicism either if thats what youre suggesting!"
"I am not suggesting that. You can be a muslim if you want to, but we're still getting married." Baldwin stated matter of factly.
"The church wont allow it-"
"The church will do as I say. I am the head of the church. Besides-" He smiled.
"I dont remember angels having to prove themselves to be a catholic. You saved my life, you cured my incurable disease. As far as the church is concerned, youre a miracle sent to me by God. Youre the Chosen One!"
Is he... is he hearing himself? Can you try to convince him?
"But... but Jerusalem deserves a Catholic Queen-" you tried weakly, but he cupped your cheek and smiled gently at you.
"I am Jerusalem, Y/n. And I deserve you." Was all he said before pecking your forehead.
He tugged you along with him. "Now, we have to eat."
You dont want to eat. You want to stay behind and think of another strategy because clearly you cant talk yourself out of this wedding.
"I'm- I'm not hungry." You said, making him frown.
"How is that possible? You havent had anything since morning. I dont want you getting sick before the wedding." Baldwin continued to pull you along.
Does he not listen?
"I dont want to eat- I- dont feel like it." You said a bit harshly this time, hoping he'd take the hint.
And he did, finally stopping. He sighed and let go of your hand. "Okay. I suppose if you really dont want to, we can skip dinner tonight." Fucking finally. "Its just... I seem to have developed a habit of enjoying meals with you. And now that my leprosy is cured and I have no more diet restrictions, I just- I had the kitchen prepare some of my favourite dishes that I was able to enjoy before my disease disabled me."
You stared at him. Is he- is he trying to guilt trip you? Baldwin once told you that due to leprosy he had ulcers in his mouth, and he couldnt eat different types of food, and was only able to have bland, soft goo.
You looked away from his big sad eyes. He's not getting to you. You need to go back to your room, make yourself scarce, be far away from him as often as possible.
"You can still go and eat dinner alone."
With one hand, he cupped your cheek. "Princess, you know I cant eat until you eat too. But its okay, if you dont want to eat, then I wont too. I guess I'll just have the servants finish the chicken roast and oh-! They even made strawberry cream cake for dessert. But- maybe another day."
You looked into his eyes, those blue orbs that were filled with sadness, resembling a kid who was just told "no candy!"
Sighing, you held his hand. "Maybe I can have a few bites."
His face lit up. Ah, he knew you'd come around. "Lets go!"
-
The next day, youre helped by the maids to get ready for the day. Apparently, Sibylla wanted to meet you and discuss some things, and you suspect she wants to talk about the wedding preprations.
The maids had prepared your bath and were very insistent on washing you themselves but you made them all leave the bath chambers. Finally, they compromised when you told them that they could dress you up if they wait outside.
Setting your old clothes on the bed, you entered the bathroom and settled into the warm water. The essential oils and flower petals soothed your mind and body, and you finally had some desperately needed silence to hear your own thoughts.
Last night at dinner, Baldwin was very- well, "happy" would be an understatement to how he felt near you. And all those forehead kisses and skin contact doesnt go unnoticed by you either. You suppose that since he had leprosy, he never really had or was allowed to touch anyone else. But now that hes cured, all thanks to your dumb ass, he craves the physical intimacy.
You closed your eyes as you sank deeper into the warm water. Gosh, did I really have to give him the water? Had I not done that, he would still be ridden with lepro-
Your eyes snapped open. Thats it. You just have to make sure he never drank your water in the first place! Yes! You can go back in time and sure, its always dangerous to go back in the same time period more than once, but you really dont have any other option now, do you?
After half an hour, you finally exited the bathroom and the maids practically ushered you to sit in the chair as they finally, FINALLY got to dress up the future queen of Jerusalem and after a whole hour, they're finally done. And... well you look good. Your hair has been done nicely, and a delicate golden headpiece, almost like a elegant hair band sits on top of your head. They added some color to your cheeks and lips with crushed berries. As for your clothes, they dressed you in a dark blue tunic with loose, flowing sleeves. The tunic itself was made of silk, probably brought in from the Byzantine empire and was only available to the upperclass of this time.
"I am not wearing those!" You said when they opened the jewellery boxes. There were diamonds and other precious stones adorning the earrings and necklaces.
"But princess, you must wear these. It is royal protocol for the king's bride to be, and the future queen to wear the royal jewels." The head maid said. She doesnt know that you dont plan on sticking around and if you leave wearing these jewels, who knows what havoc would that cause?
"No. I dont want to wear them."
The maids shared a look of concern. "What?" You asked them.
"Its just... his majesty picked these out for you himself. He would be mad at us if you were not wearing these." One of the younger servants spoke as she fumbled with her fingers. Through the mirror, you looked at everyone's worried expression. You doubt that someone as calm and collected as Baldwin would lose his marbles over his fiancee not wearing jewellery.
"I dont think the king would be mad at you if I dont wear some jewellery. He isnt one to get angry that easily, you know?" You said chuckling, but it died when you saw them share the same concerned looks again. This time, you turned away from the mirror to look at them directly. "What? Go on, no secrets."
Another maid mustered up the courage to mumble. "Well- it's just- the king- I mean- his majesty is calm but um-" she paused to look at the other maids for help but they all avoided eye contact. "Out with it." You said a bit sternly.
"His majesty... gets... emotional- yes, emotional! When it comes to matters concerning you."
"Emotional? What do you mean? Speak clearly, no word will get out of this room, I promise." You spoke all while glaring at the other maids to make them silently comply to not tattle on their friend.
The maid bit her lip. "His majesty... gets mad when he thinks that you're not being treated well." You gave her a look to continue. "A few weeks back, while you were strolling out in the garden, his majesty reprimanded some of his knights for not escorting you. He asked them why they weren't guarding you?"
A few weeks back? It may have made some sense for Baldwin to be protective of his bride to be, but you two weren't engaged until yesterday. And before that, his relationship with you was barely platonic, more like a king-servant thing.
"Tell her about the kitchen incident too." Another maid whispered.
"What kitchen incident?"
"Um, 2 months ago, when the kitchen had prepared a feast for his majesty, he almost fired the entire kitchen staff for serving olives with the entree." You gave them a quizzical look. "Well, his majesty had told them that you can't eat olives and had told them not to include it in the palace's food. But it was a feast to celebrate his victory and the staff thought it'd be best to add olives because the king likes them."
Your eyes widened at that. He almost fired the kitchen staff because you said you can't eat olives? I mean, it's not like you're deathly allergic, you just didn't like how tart they were and when Baldwin saw you picking them out on your plate, all you could manage to blurt out was that you can't eat them. Perhaps, he thought you had diet restrictions like him.
You huffed. That still didnt warrant such a reaction from him. "That isn't nice. Don't worry, I'll talk to him."
The maid looked at you in horror. "No! I mean, his majesty would not like that we- um..." she tried to come up with appropriate words that wouldn't be insulting. Her scrunched up face as she thought hard made you giggle.
"Fine, fine. I won't say anything to him. You have my word." You said, smiling at them assuringly.
The head maid then held out the pearl necklace to you. You sighed and nodded, and they all cheered as they started picking out the jewels for you.
Its okay. You told yourself. I can always drop them somewhere before time travelling.
-
As soon as you were dressed, one of Sibylla's lady-in-waiting came to fetch you. She hurried you, saying something along the lines of "you must see princess Sibylla right away!" And you couldn't stop her from pulling you along, so time travelling will have to wait.
"Princess Sibylla needs to see you right away, princess!" The maid said as she pulled you towards a room. Knocking on it, the door swung open and you were met with the sight of different gowns hanging on dummies with maids tending to them, and right in the center of the room was Sibylla, practically jumping on her heels.
"Y/n!" She yelled out as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug before her lady in waiting, the same one standing beside you, cleared her throat. It caught Sibylla's attention who gasped softly before backing away and immeadiately giving you a courtesy. "I mean, princess Y/n." You gave a nasty look to the lady in waiting before shaking your head at an embarrassed Sibylla. "You don't need to courtesy to me, princess Sibylla."
She immeadiately beamed. "Of course I do! You're not going to be just my sister in law, you're also going to be Queen of Jerusalem! Of course i bow to you."
Me, a queen? Yeah, we'll see about that.
"Still, I consider us friends before anything else." You offerer her a small smile. "You called for me?"
"Oh? Oh, yes!" She immeadiately grabbed your hand and pulled you further into the room. "I didn't know what colours and material you preferred, so I ordered them to bring everything with the best seamstresses in kingdom!" She pointed at the seamstresses, who bowed to you.
"But... I don't need clothes. I already have a wardrobe." Your statement made Sibylla laugh as did a few of her hand maidens.
"Ahh, you're so naive!" Sibylla giggled. "That wardrobe doesn't exist anymore. You're a princess, soon to be queen, you need a royal wardrobe!" She said as she dragged her hand over one of the gowns, feeling the material. "And! You still have to select your bridal gown!"
For the next 3 hours, Sibylla had the maids show you different gowns and materials, even helping by giving her input as to what would suit you.
"I still like my old clothes, they're quite comfortable." You sighed. Designing your new wardrobe was not something that needed your urgent attention at the moment. You need to return to your room and get the time machine from your old dress and leave this era.
Sibylla nods. "I understand what you're going through. I still remember how they burned away my entire wardrobe when I married Guy. But I suppose its poetic in a way. Since you're starting a new life, so why not start one by getting new clothes!"
Wait.
"They burnt all your old clothes?" Sibylla nods. "Mmhmm! In a way, you're burning away your past! And starting a new-" You didn't stick around as you immeadiately rushed out of the room and made your way towards your own.
You can't- your old clothes has your time machine. If they burn it, you can't ever leave!
You burst into your room, looking at the empty spot on your bed where you'd left your clothes before going in the bath.
"No." The maids, they must've put it in your closet. You searched it, searched your entire room but to no avail.
A maid walked into your room, watching you tear apart the bedroom. "P-princess? May I help-"
"Where are my clothes?!" You walked upto her, the poor maid's fright apparently on her face. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?"
"They- they're burning it-"
"WHERE?!"
"The gardens!"
You ran out of your room, and made your way towards the royal gardens as fast as you could, but with how huge this palace was, getting there took a while. Not to mention when you did get to the gardens, you didn't spot anyone there, but you did notice the smell of something burning, which lead you to the back of the gardens, that was away from everyone's sight.
There you found them, two maids burning your clothes in a small bonfire.
"PUT IT OUT!" You yelled as you rushed towards them, startling them.
"Princess-" they began bowing.
"Didn't you hear me? PUT THE FIRE OUT!" They scrambled about trying to find some water, but of course, they didn't have it.
"I'll get it from the fountain!" The two maids ran to get a bucket of water for you, but it would be too late by the time they came. So when you spotted your old dress burning, you pulled it out with bare hands, not caring about burning yourself.
The dress was mostly burnt to ashes, while only few bits remained that were still on fire. You managed to wrangle out your time machine out of it, the small metal box that was burning hot and left marks on your skin as you tried to hold it.
But even from here, you could see the damage was done. The area that displayed the year had now completely melted off, as did some of the buttons.
No. No. No. No. No. NO!
You couldn't help but cry as reality began to set in. You're stuck here.... you're stuck here forever.
Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body as you tried to hold the hot metal machine in your hands, your skin burning as you tried. Even when the servants came and poured the water on the fire, you still kept on crying, clutching your machine to your chest, partly to conceal it, partly from helplessness.
The maids looked at each in worry as they tried to console you, tried to pacify you, lest you had them executed. But it didn't matter, you were inconsolable. While one of the maids sat by your side, trying to soothe you, the other one ran in to get help.
Moments later, when you were able to hide the machine in your clothes again, someone came up and touched your shoulder from behind.
"Y/n?" You looked up through your tears. It was Baldwin. For some reason, seeing him only made you cry harder as you finally realised that you were stuck here with him. That you fucked up permanently.
"Oh princess. What's wrong? Don't cry- shhh, I'm here." He pulled your body towards him, letting you sob into his chest heartbreakingly. Exhaustion, frustration and shock must have overtook your body, as you fainted in his arms.
"Princess? Y/n?" He tried waking you up before collecting you in his arms and rushing back into the castle.
-
Hours later, you woke up to find yourself back in your room, lying in your bed. Your eyes looked down at your hands which were now wrapped in bandages. They only served as a reminder of what youd lost- your time machine.
Tears welled up in your eyes again. Am I- am I really stuck here? You sniffled.
A hand came up to caress your cheek, startling you.
It was Baldwin. "Princess? Do you want to tell me what happened?" His soft tone made you even more sad, and you raised your bandaged hands to wipe your tears, but he caught your wrists and lowered them back gently, using his own hands to wipe away the tears.
"No, you cant use your hands for sometime. The burns need to heal." His hand remained on your cheek, thumb caressing the area under your eye. "What happened, Y/n? Why were you so upset?"
You cant avoid the topic for long, and now that your way of escape is gone, you need to be careful of what you say and how you act around the king.
You let out a shaky breath. "They... they burned my clothes."
"Mmhm. Dont worry, I will have them bring in the fanciest clothes for you. Sibylla will make sure of it. Only the best for my princess." You shook your head. "Its not- its not that... They were my clothes... they burned away-"
"I know... but its a tradition. The maids burn away the bride-to-be's old clothes to signify that youre detaching yourself from the past and starting a new life." He explained, watching as you sniffled. Clearly, you were still upset over this.
"But the maids, they still should've informed you of this tradition before doing anything. I know how emotional of a transition this could be for girls." You nodded sadly, heart still sinking at the loss of your machine. "Dont worry though, they will be punished harshly for it. I have them in the dungeons tonight, and tomorrow-"
"What? Punished? No!" You cut him off. You dont want anyone to die because of you, especially when you dont know if anyone these people could potentially be an ancestor of yours.
"But they caused you harm. You burned yourself due to their-"
"No, no. Please, don't punish anyone- I- it was my fault for not knowing about royal traditions! Please, your Majesty, I beg you- don't do this- i- i-" You pleaded.
"Shhh, okay. Okay. I won't punish them for it." He patted your hair. "On one condition."
You looked at him in confusion.
"You call me Baldwin from now on." He grinned. "We are to be husband and wife soon, I don't want us to use royal titles with each other."
Your eyes widened. Is he- is he really giving up titles? You're not that blind to see his attempts at intimacy, but what you don't understand is why or even how you came to be on the receiving end of it.
What exactly is it about you that has made him want to marry you? Surely, Baldwin would've preferred to marry someone of this era, someone who is more compatible with him. Despite you trying to blend in the past months, you allowed Baldwin to see how you're not... as Conservative as most people of this time period are. One could say that he may be impressed by how intelligent you are than others, but it also brings up the factor of being "threatened" or "insulted" by the same intelligence.
Even though you consider beauty to be a "subjective" thing, the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you're not blind to how attractive others are. So why not them?
Did he only like you because you're intriguing? Does he still think you're a spy? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?
Probably. Or maybe he really does believe all that mumbo jumbo about you being "an angel sent to save him."
"As you wish... Baldwin."
-
Last night, after Baldwin had left you to rest, you stayed up and tried to figure out if you can fix your time machine, and if not, then can you built another one?
Fucking hell. You closed your eyes. I made it once, I can build it again. But it's easier said than done.
Back in the present, you had the technology to build it. Now? You have to first make the technology and the tools from scratch before you could even get on making your time machine, all while keeping your science project discrete, which was easier before because you weren't going to be married to a fucking King!
Right now, you're sitting in Baldwin's private dining room (yes, there are more than one dining room. He's royalty, what did you expect) having breakfast- well, being fed breakfast.
"You really don't need to do this." You said as Baldwin fed you another spoonful. He smiled as he wiped your lips with a napkin. "I don't need to, I want to. Besides, I don't want my princess starving."
Involuntary, your face flushed. "I- the maids could've fed me. And im not a princess." He frowned slightly. "Why would you- open wide, princess- why would you want the maids to feed you when you have me?" He pushed the spoon to your face as you parted your lips, but then he pulled it away and brought his face close to yours. "Do I make you nervous?"
You backed away immediately. "I- no- I mean-"
He burst out laughing. "I'm- I'm sorry princess, but you are just too endearing!" Baldwin chuckled as he grabbed the spoon again and fed you.
Your cheeks reddened, this time more out anger than embarrassment. "I don't want to eat anymore." You muttered, turning your face away.
He smiled as he brought the spoon to your lips again. "Ah ah, but you still haven't had enough." However, you rejected again, looking away instead of replying.
He sighed, placing the spoon back on the plate. "I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you."
"You shouldn't have." You mumbled, face still turned away from him.
His lips quirked up a bit. "You know, for someone who insists that she's not a princess-" He turned your face to him gently. "- you sure have all the blandishment of one."
"Blandishment?"
"Flattering actions of a princess." He nodded.
You frowned. "Are you calling me a spoiled princess? A brat?"
"I would never!" Baldwin gasped. "I enjoy you acting like royalty, demanding respect and attention. You deserve it and more. Besides-" He picked up some food on the spoon again and brought it to your lips. "Even if if you were a spoiled, bratty princess, I wouldn't mind. I would enjoy spoiling you, hm?" He nudged the spoon to your lips softly.
You parted your lips, making him smile. It really is hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you with his baby blue eyes. They just- they draw you in.
"Also, before I forget, I will be leaving the castle today to meet Salauddin. So you can either hand out with Sibylla, who still wants to help you design your wedding gown, or your can-"
Salauddin? "Why are you meeting Salauddin? Isn't he your enemy?"
He chuckled. "Only on the battlefield. He and I have developed a friendship, or a mutual respect over the years. As to why I'm going to meet him, is... well, you."
"Me?" He nodded. "Since you told me that you're a Muslim, I thought that we could perhaps have a discreet Islamic wedding- what is it called? Nikkah? So, I could go and learn more about it from Salauddin."
You opened your mouth to protest. You don't need to be part of history as the "king of Jerusalem's Muslim wife" or "the Muslim-Christian wedding that took place during the Crusades", even if it might make the world more progressive.
But then, you didn't protest. "Can I come?"
Baldwin raised a brow at you. "You want to meet Salauddin?" You shook you're head. "Well, no, not really. I mean, I don't mind meeting him, but I just want to get out of the castle for a bit. It's been months since i left this place, I just want to get some fresh air." This could be the perfect opportunity for you, because if memory serves you right, Muslims of this era had made significant advances in science. Maybe you can use their help to get some tools to make the time machine again.
Baldwin looked unsure. "I don't know if it would be safe for you-" you held his hand with your bandaged ones. "Please, Baldwin? Can't you take me with you? And wouldn't I be the most safe when I'm with you?" Ah yes, stroke the male ego.
Finally, he smiled.
"Alright. I supposed it would be fine, after all, you should see the kingdom you're going to be the queen of."
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Thoughts? (Also, I need to go shower rn, so I'll put the read more later. Doing so much effort for u guys, my spoiled greedy children)
Part 3 is here.
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irishmammonagenda · 2 months
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AITA for enveloping my future partner in a bone-crushing hug?
posted by u/sleepisforthestrong
So I demon!M was locked in an attic by my eldest brother, we’ll call him Laios. So after Laios and I had a disagreement for the 10000th time, I got quite upset and ended up maybe possibly comitting a little bit of treason on account of my racism against the human race. Laios completely overreacted and locked me in the attic of the home we share with our five other brothers.
I spent a pretty long time in there, and it was dreadfully boring, until my future partner, lets call them PC, arrives.
I end up getting PC’s attention by using magical means in hopes that they would free me. I lied to them and said I was human as well so they would trust me more.
Well it turned out PC wasnt as stupid as I thought they were at first and relitavely quickly figured out I was not a human. I ended up coming clean and they still decided to help me.
So it turns out our original plan to free me went wrong, and the attic door ended up opening on its own, (which we later found out was something to do with PC’s bloodline.)
Once I was freed, my brothers were all shocked, especially Laios. I guess I was still pretty mad about being locked in an attic for months on end, so I grab PC and give them a hug.
I gradually tighten the hug, and strain myself so it starts to crush their bones. PC ends up suffocating because of some human anatomy thing.
I ended up killing PC, but the Demon Butler brings them back to life and I end up regretting it.
After that incident I let PC make a pact for me and have worked to try and fix my mistake.
So AITA?
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paiges-1vur · 1 month
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can you write for hopkins p x reader!! also love ur stories babe 💗
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hold on, we’re going home… as always, enjoy loves <3
paige bueckers. the girl from the small town in minnesota. the uconn women’s basketball commit. ya, you “went to the same school as her.” at least thats what people knew about the two of you. paige wasnt openly gay, but wasn’t necessarily denying any allegations. you were both in similar situations, and were both… girl kissers. you had met in ap biology, junior year. ever since then you guys had become friends, but not necessarily close friends.
you really found out that paige was gay the night you got drunk for the first time. you were hanging out with one of your close friends kaylie. the two of you were just having fun at her house because her parents were gone for the weekend. towards the end of the night, you had found yourself abandoned in her room, while she hooked up with her boyfriend of the time in her hot tub. while trying to walk down to the kitchen to grab water, you fell and fucked up your knee bad. you panicked at the gushing blood, and subconsciously called paige, the first person you could think of. “hey paigey poo! im having so much fun, but can you pick me up…”
two things were sure. one, that she picked up the damn phone in one ring. and two, you were in her car less than 15 minutes later, on the way to her house. you had the hiccups, and the car was silent most of the way home. you decided to break the silence. “hey…paige” you slurred, pausing to hiccup. “are you mad at me.. because im drunk and because i called you.. to come get me?” you managed to ask.
her jaw tightened, her eyes set on the road. “what happened, y/n…” she said plainly. it was a moment before she spoke again, “and.. no. im not mad” her eyes flickered over to you for a second before shifting back to the road again. you were sat criss cross apple sauce in the seat next to her with your hands placed in your lap. “well… me and kaylie were having sooo much fun,” you notice her tongue move against her cheek as you say this, but keep speaking anyway. “but then this stupid guy came over and started…i dont know but kaylie seemed reallyyy busy.” paige thought carefully before she answered. she looked to your knee, “i will take care of your knee when we get home, so dont worry about that,” she locks eyes with you as she speaks “the guy didnt… bring a friend?”
you drunkenly ruin the moment and light heartedly punch paige in the arm, snorting before confessing, “oh god no! i dont know.. its confusing, this year i realized i think im actually into-” you look over to a smirking paige. “into what?” she asks looking at you like your about to be her last meal. you swallow and immediately quiet down. “i-i forgot. are we almost there?” you try to shift the conversation. she laughs, as she pulls into her driveway. talk about perfect timing. paige swiftly got out of the car, putting her lanyard with her keys in the pocket of her sweats. she made her way to your side of the car, opening the door. “im gonna pick you up, i dont want you to fall trying to walk and hurt yourself even more. “ you swallowed. you werent big by any means, and if anything were on the smaller side, but something about someone picking you up always made you feel uneasy. “no.. paige i can just walk, you cant hold me” you try to push her arms away but soon you find yourself being hauled bridal style through paiges front door. you were soon brought to her bedroom, and she placed you to sit gently on the edge of her bed.
“here,” she threw you an oversized tshirt that would reach to about your knees. no surprise, it was a uconn tshirt. “put this on, i dont know if you noticed but your hoodie is soaked, you must have spilled something on it without realizing.” you look down frowning at the stain. “thanks paigey,” you pull the hoodie off and put the tshirt on, paiges eyes fixed on your body the whole time. “mm smells, really good paige.. you smell so fucking good.” she grins walking towards the bed, rolling her eyes and putting a bandaid on your no longer bleeding knee. “thank you, y/n your too sweet” she says softly, looking you in the eyes. “uhm- its really hot in here… can i take off my sweats? i dont want to melt” you ask half nervously, half giggling. paige smiles down at you, placing her hands on the bed next to either side of you, standing between your legs. “ill help you ma, dont worry..” she says, moving to help you take them off. “just lift your hips for me baby” you quickly comply and she pulls them off, throwing them somewhere on the floor.
your paralyzed. trapped by paiges arms, her eyes devouring you. “you can get comfortable, lie down and ill go grab you water” she says finally getting up from between your legs and turning to the mini fridge in her room. you lie down and she tosses you a water. you quickly drink it, watching as she climbs into bed next to you. she leans against the headboard, one arm propped behind her head as she turns to look at you. “uconn looks so damn good on you, you know?” your voice is suddenly gone along with your ability to speak as paige presses you for answers. “about earlier, what are you into? just… want to get to know you better. its been a while since we have talked” she says smirking. she moves her hand to your thigh, slowly tracing up and down the length of it.
your so drunk at this point in time that you cant help but let out a small whine at the sudden touch of paiges cold, long fingers on your hot skin. “oh my.. paige..” her smirk only grows, her fingers traveling higher and higher up your thigh. “yes darling? keep talking dont be shy” she looks at you again, knowing shes about to get what she wants. “well somebody.. recently.. just made me realize, maybe im not into guys” you say slowly. paige takes her hand off your thigh. she looks down at your legs again before meeting your eyes. “dont be shy around me love, just know you can always call if you need help with anything.. okay?” she says lying down.
whatever this… moment is, you dont want it to end. a mix of pleasure and confusion floods your senses as paige grabs you by the waist, pulling you in. “we can talk about.. it, another time love. you need to rest” she whispers, placing a small kiss on your shoulder. you decide to take her advice, and adjust yourself against her body, leaning into her touch as you drift off to sleep in her arms…
muehehhehe lots and lots of tension, but a sweet ending. whats better than that? (pure smut. thats the answer.) i tried to take a break from just writing pure filth, so heres this shitty idea i wrote out at 1 am <3
also i loveeee hopkins p, so expect more fics!!!
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mydearesthrry · 3 months
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lover, you should’ve come over - h.s.
a/n: part 2 to casual. read here! also, this is lowkey not great cause casual wasnt supposed to be a 2 parter. but bc i love u i did it. be grateful. enjoy my babies!!!! song: lover, you should’ve come over by jeff buckley
warnings: angst, happy-ISH ending
pairing: loser doormat!y/n x harry styles
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— MARCH
harry: hi princess, i really miss you.
harry: i haven’t seen you since two fridays ago, where’ve you gone?
harry: text me back, please baby.
y/n: safe and alive
y/n: and i already told you, u don’t need to worry abt me
y/n: im fine
harry: i’m coming over.
y/n: har, please don’t. it’s really okay.
harry: not to me.
setting her phone down with a sigh, y/n scrubbed her hands up and down her face as she felt the beginning of a headache begin to brew at the thought of having to see harry.
after the conversation they’d had two weeks ago, harry hadn’t come over, and she hadn’t made the effort to ask him to. she reckoned that if she pulled back slowly, he wouldn’t notice.
she curses herself now for thinking that. of course he’d notice. because he’s harry.
she didn't want to have to talk about how she felt, because it meant admitting that she loved him. and she knew that wouldn't exactly fare well for her.
trying her hardest to make time pass by as slow as possible, she stepped into her bathroom, starting a bubble bath. if this was what she was going to have to deal with tonight, she might as well be comfy. harry can deal with sitting on the floor.
“princess?” she heard him call. her eyes squeezed shut as she braced herself, knowing that even seeing his face was going to viscerally affect her.
“i’m in here,” she called back, quieter than he was initially. “hi.”
“you look pretty,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. an eye roll from y/n had him squatting down in front of her, face inches from hers. “wanna give me a kiss?”
“no, not really.” she said plainly, sinking further deeper into the water, creating distance between them. harry couldn’t see her body as it was completely concealed by the mountains of foamy bubbles.
“ouch, princess, i don’t see you f’two weeks and this is what i get? even drove over here 5 over the limit jus’ t’see you.” harry didn’t want to admit that her rejection had felt like a gunshot wound to the heart, but he’d accepted it anyway so as to not make her uncomfortable. he knew she was upset and needed to fix it. he just didn’t know why.
“i’m sure you’ve gotten plenty kisses from claire the past two weeks, hm?” she mumbled pettily, shifting her glare to the faucet in front of her.
“so that’s what this is about.”
“what’s this?” she didn't think he actually noticed.
“you being all bratty, not talking t’me, s’hurting m’feelings, my love.”
harry was surprised to hear a laugh emit from her throat. “hurting your feelings… i’m hurting your feelings? that’s rich, really, harry. even for you.”
“what?”
“how do you not know that you’re making me miserable?” she whispered defeatedly and the dam broke. silent tears began to run down her cheeks, and she knew she couldn’t blame it on being sweat from the heated water. not when harry reached out to wipe them away with his calloused thumbs.
“baby- i- what?” he blubbered, shifting onto his knees to have an advantage of being closer to the tub. “what do you mean i’m making you miserable?”
“because you like playing this game with me, harry. its just so fucked up. you keep me around, kiss me, fuck me, and then treat me like i’m just one of your fucking lads, like you don’t really care. you get possessive when i talk to other guys at events, but if i get upset that you’re literally fucking another girl, i’m being sensitive, and ‘i should know by now that we aren’t exclusive.’ it feels like you don’t even want me. someone who claims to love me wouldn’t do this to me.”
a pause, a sniffle.
“you’re supposed to be my best friend, h.”
the room was eerily silent. harry’s face had gone stoic and pale. y/n sat there quietly, breath hitching with every sob she tried to stifle.
“‘m sorry,” he started.
“i’m sure you are.”
“how do i fix it?”
“i… i don’t know if you can.” she whispered honestly.
no words were shared between the two for minutes that felt stretched into hours. her fingers and toes had gotten pruny, the bubbles beginning to dissolve. she needed to get out— but she didn’t want harry to see her at her most vulnerable.
“can you please wait for me in my room?” she murmured, reaching over the lip of the tub for her towel that lay on the floor, sliding it closer to the tub.
“princess,” he said in near disbelief.
“please don’t call me that. can you please wait for me in my room?” she said ruefully, catching his eyes so he knew she was serious. she knows he would never purposely disrespect her boundaries.
harry shifted uncomfortably at y/n asking him to stop calling her ‘princess’, the name he’d crowned her with since the beginning. “erm, yeah. sorry.”
walking out of the bathroom, harry collapsed onto her bed, eyes brimming with tears as he tried to control his sporadic breathing. why did he do this to her?
“hi,” y/n said, shuffling out the bathroom a few minutes later with her hair in a small pink towel. she looked significantly calmer, more put together. “let’s talk.”
“i’m sorry-“
“no, me first, you listen,” she stated, watching as harry nodded, not caring that she’d cut him off.
“i love you. it’s not a secret that i love you, and i love you in more ways than one. i love everything about you, how kind you are, how gentle. but you aren’t really,” she paused, not knowing how to explain herself. “you aren’t really nice to me.”
"what do you mean?" he murmured, head cast downward. he reminded her of a wounded puppy. it was his fault, but she couldn't help but feel a little bad.
"i... i don't know how to put this without being the bad guy, but you're really manipulative to me. texting me when it's convenient for you, coming over when its convenient for you, all of it, harry. it's manipulative, and i don't know how to make you understand. i couldn't do it to you, even if i tried."
"why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.
"i tried. every time i tried talking about it with you, you'd shut me up with a kiss, feeding me a line, something. it was always something." she explained, a sympathetic, dulcet smile on her face.
"i didn't mean to hurt you, y/n."
she nods understandingly. she knows that he's a good person at his core. she knows his heart. "i know you didn't mean to, but you did."
"if- if it helps, and i don't know if it's gonna," harry begins, before pausing as his throat began to squeeze, his nose tingling with the onslaught of tears. "i always wanted it to be you."
are you kidding me? y/n thought, taking a deep breath to keep her composure. “if you wanted to be with me, why didn’t you just come over?”
“i don’t know what you wanted. if you still wanted me, or if you wanted to end things… i… i didn’t know. 'm sorry, baby, i'm really sorry, fuck, i really, really am. y've got t'believe me, i didn't mean to hurt yo-” he stumbles over his words, breath catching as he tries to explain himself. y/n can see the panic begin to coat his green eyes, and with throwing all logic out the window, she climbs onto his lap, holding his face in her hands.
"i know you didn't, harry, i know. that's why i'm telling you now, okay? i'm trying to help you. i want to fix this, but you need to understand how i feel too, okay?" she nods, running her thumbs up and down his cheekbones, the tips of his lashes kissing her fingertips.
“i- i can’t lose you, i can’t,” he gasped through tears, shaking his head side to side. “i’m sorry baby, i’m so, so sorry.”
“harry. look at me.” she demanded, holding his face tightly so he couldn’t move. his eyes slowly casted to her face, noting how her eyes had began to gloss over again, nose reddening with emotion. “i know you didn’t mean to hurt me. i’m not that upset anymore. you won’t lose me, but you need to see my point of view.”
“and i do— i really do, i swear. angel, i promise i see you and i hear you, i just- fuck- i don’t know how to make it better.”
“you acknowledging it makes it better. you apologizing makes it better.”
“it couldn’t possibly be enough. i- y/n, i hurt you. i made you cry, and i made you inferior. i promised myself that you would be the one person i wouldn’t ever hurt. you’re too good t’me, you’re so perfect.”
a soft smile played on y/n’s lips. “its okay, h. i forgive you.”
“you do?”
“yeah, i do. but, i don’t think i can do this with you anymore.”
“do what?”
“this, the friends with benefits agreement. it’s too hurtful for me, and if i can’t have you as a lover, i don’t think i can have you at all.”
“what? what do you mean by that?”
“i need time, h. i need space, and i need room to breathe and think. if i see you, i worry i’ll make rash decisions that’ll hurt me in the end.” she sighed, climbing off his lap as she made her decision. “if i can’t love you in the way i know you deserve, i don’t know if i can give you love at all.”
“why?”
“because i don’t know how to love you without it being all consuming.”
“why don’t you let it? i still want you, y/n. i just told you that.”
“but i can’t risk getting hurt again, harry. not by you.”
“so that’s it? i can’t be your friend, i can’t be your lover?”
she sighed, clenching her teeth before swallowing thickly. “i can’t be the reason you didn’t find the love of your life.”
a pause. bated breaths. “what if its you?”
a defeated chuckle. “it can’t be. no matter how much you want it to.”
“why won’t you give us a chance!”
“how can i believe that it won’t be different than last time?!” she screamed, finally at her wits end. standing from the bed, she stood at the foot with clenched fists. “i think you should leave.”
“what? no, baby, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you.”
“please leave, harry. i just need time to think, and i can’t do that if you’re here.” she pleaded. watching harry step up from her bed, she placed a hand over her mouth and followed him out the door.
“i love you, but it’s ruining my life.”
“promise me you’ll call when you’ve had time to think. promise me that you’ll call when you need me again. please, promise me you’ll call me if you want me here. i will come to you, no matter where i am.”
“i know you will, harry. i know. and i will. i promise to call you when i’m ready.”
“i love you, okay?”
“i know. goodbye, harry.”
— JUNE
“hello?” y/n said into the speaker of her phone.
“hi, princess. i’ll be there in 20, okay? i’ve missed you.”
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ferg0s · 3 months
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ
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ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴꜱᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ɪ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇ. ᴄᴏᴏʟ ᴘʟᴏᴛ, ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ. ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏꜱ.
ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ꜱʜɪɴᴛᴀʀᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ, ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ ᴀɴ ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴏʀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ.
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ |ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰᴏᴜʀ
quiet literally the worse time to be doing this because i start the first day of my new job tomorrow but here i am. Apologies in advance, im running off flavoured air and the wrath of god when we unleashed those 10 curses on egypt. pardon the grammer and spelling.
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you look at the shattered vase on the floor. it wasnt worth much, you had gotten it at some shitty garage sale a few years back. it looked cheap; between the obvious mass prodiced floral pattern and the chiped edges, it was a miracle a thing like that could coexist with the rest of the funiture in your house. Yet it did. Standing tall on the coffee table, like an oasis in the barron desert. The pink petals of the flower pattern, the tiny lines of green repersenting the stem - a contrast to the light grey furniture.
In all honesty it was fucking ugly.
"-AND I CANT EVEN COME BACK TO MY HOUSE-"
You slowly lifted your head.
oh yeah
"- THE BARE MINIMUM-"
The shouting pulled you away from the shattered vase, the reality of your situaiton coming back in. You could see the vein buldging out in Shintaros neck. His usually calm demanour - his dull eyes, perfect cheekbone, his thin lips - replaced by an expression that you had never seen before. You had seen him angry, you ahd fights, but what couple didn't? This was something new. Usually you would describe his eyes as forest green, the colour of the grass in a hidden meadow in the forest, but looking into his wide eyes, the colour green reminded you of the recycling bin in your driveway.
It was impossible to form a positive thought for him.
His hair was messy, ruffled from the milltionth time he ran his fingers through it - most likely in an attempt to fix his hair but his gesture has the opposite effect.
Everything he was doing was having the opposite effect. The screaming? It irritated you more than it sacred you. The argument? It made you calmer than you were previously before he came home. The vase? Well, the vase was a differnt story. You knew he didnt mean to hurt you in the way that he had with that. You knew him too well to give him enough credit for what he had done. He always hated that vase; since the moment it entered your house he would always try to place it in a spot where it was hidden. Tucked away in some corner as to not clash with the rest of the furniture.
Shintaro was a calculating man. He had to be. Weighing the risk-reward ratio of each step of his day. That's what made him good at his job, he knew his limits and when it was okay to push them; only doing so when he knew the risks associated with it were low. The vase? Sure it wasn't the closest thing for him to reach - he had to take a step or two forward to even be in the radius - but it was the cheapest. In a sea of trinkets that costed upwards of a months pay, the something dollar vase was nothing.
So obviously he would pick that.
"Fuck you,"
The words roll off your tongue before you can even process yourself conjuring the thought up. Why had you said that? Of all things, of all the clever insults, the petty jabs. You went with the bleakest one. The one that held no emotional value; and towards the person you - were suposed to - hold the more emotional value to.
Shintaro froze. As if a mask had slipped off, his face relaxed. His shoulders relaxing, eyes softening with a look of confusion.
That was all? Thats all he got after the shit show he had created. a measly grade school insult?
"I-" "Fuck you Shintaro,"
You look down at the shattered vase, its pieces dangerously close to your bare feet.
You could sense the anger rising up in him again, proably worse than before. What was he mad about that? Not having dinner? You had made his favourite- curry and rice. Was it not warm? It was still in the pot on low heat. Did you not serve it to him on a silver platter? He would always get his own meals. It was like he had been frantcially searching for a reason to be mad at you, or maybe had just made it up.
You turn around, head lifting as your body rotated away from him. You didn't even want to give him the respect to look him in the eyes, to see a sliver of pain.
"Im glad Kotas dead," you hiss out, your voice laced in every negative emotion that filled your body. "So he doesn't have to see how pathetic of a man you really are."
~
Staring at the blue text bubble on his phone screen, he reread the text as if he was missing some hidden message written between the lines. As if two words had the capability to convay something that they didn't repersent.
We're over.
His head hung low, looking at the screen between his hands. He knew this would be the outcome, though the imaged the text bubble with that message being grey rather than blue. But alas, the words had been said. He couldn't exactly say he was shocked. This was the outcome, the ending has been written in stoen before the story even began. Mei knew exactly the type of man he was, though not entirely, he figured she got a glimpse of a side of him that made her turn away. The side was sleeping with other women while with his wife, the side of him that would hook up in the parking lot after work before driving home to share a hot meal with his wife.
He, above all things, was a logical man. And this was a logical reaction. It was easier to be the home wrecker than the wrecked. But what if you were both? Do you lean more into one side or even the scales?
Putting his phone down, he made his way to the kitchen to get the broom and dust pan. He was a doctor, he knew the potential risks of having broken glass around. Besides the potenial cuts, the risk of infection or the glass getting lodged in far enough. Too great - in his head - to go to bed without cleaning it up.
He didn't know what to do anymore. It felt like anytime he could pull a conversation out of you is when you two were fighting. He hated it. He hated being angry, it was beneath him to show such neanderthalic behaviour. He hated how it was the only way he could get you to talk to him nowadays. He was a man of reason, often the voice of reason. And here he was, stooping down to the level of the drunken low-lives who would stumble in the ER. The addicts who would throw themselves on the ground, begging, pleading for a drop of morphine. Pathetic...
With the dust pan filled with the last prices of the shattered vase, he made his way to the kictchen garbage. As he put his foot on the pedle of the trash can, its lid lifting up and the dust pan tilting to drop the contents into it - his eyes caught on something. Lid still lifted, he looked at the small yellow dot on one of the pieces.
It was a bee.
A poorly drawn bee. Like it had been drawn ontop of the design.
His heart sank when he recoginised the shaky drawing. His mouth drying, his throat closing up. The scream he wanted to let out, lost somewhere in his throat.
He wondered if he had been a shirnk, would he have chosen differently. He himself had picked the object he thougth would have the least significance. But would that subjective sense of significance would be differnent if he had thought about it for more than a second?
Staring at the pianted bee, he wonderedi if he would have chosen such a reality if he had thought about it for more than a second.
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ganondoodle · 17 days
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(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)
apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this
i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either
are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all
something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)
given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??
are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )
(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#idk if others feel like that too but i cant shake the feeling there was something that either went horribly wrong during development-#-or the entire thing was neglected the whole time which is why its so .. i hesitate to even call it bare bones#...which is WILD given that its the supposed sequel to their best seeling zela game#like wtf where you doing#i get that the pressure can be immense but imo it wasnt that hard to make a sequel to thats better than totk#like i think it was harder to make totk like it is NOW bc it scraps and throws away so many things you could have easily used-#-as sequel material#its all so weird to me#my tin foil hat theory is still that they saw the success of the mario movie and immediately shifted everything to make more movies#bc it made so much money#and a movie is easier to make than a good game#so totk or botw2 at the time got the short end of the stick#which is why everything feels like .. so ... bare bones .. untested .. unfinished .. non sensical...#like an alpha build that got enough visual polish to look like a full game when its still an alpha build at its core#some main ideas like the abilities implemented and the basic map layers#mechanics functioning but untested on how it feels to play#like the sage controls and arrow fusing and ... contradictory game mechanics that dont work together#like the bulding WORKS but its clunky and underused- everything can be cheated so easily you dont even feel good cheating-#-bc it feels like the teacher just allowed you to mark your test with a green circle and you still got an A (or however USA grades work)#despite not even reading the questions- why attempt to solve a puzzle if you can just skip it#and how they tell you to be creative with it yet creativity gets punished and only efficiency is rewarded#which completely undermines the entire thing#...theres so much more you know i have ranted about it all before#ALSO rauru and sonia seemed like a rather newly wed couple to me- not one that had multiple kids that never appear-#since it only mentions rauru ..... if its only his then ... that doesnt explain anything bc zelda needs both sonia and rauru dna#................do sonau leave eggs to incubate somewhere heavenly or sth#watch out the springs where built to hatch rauru eggs bc they need the gods holy blessing bc they are oh so holy to hatch
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scrollonso · 6 months
Text
First Kiss (Race 6)
A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.3k words, angst at first? idk, it gets fluffy) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I kept getting ideas while writing this so I stopped like 4 times to write another chapter}
last part - masterlist - next part
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Lance made his way onto the paddock, his dad having driven him instead of Nico. After waking up in Fernandos bed after his DNF in San Marino he'd unintentionally avoided the Spaniard for the past week. He didn't remember much past him complaining about Coulthard, all he knew was he woke up in an unfamiliar hotel room with Fernando Alonso asleep peacefully beside him.
He looked gorgeous, obviously, his long hair slightly covering his eyes, chest rising and falling slightly as he breathed, he looked peaceful, Lance could've stayed and stared for hours if reality didn't hit him suddenly.
He was in bed with Fernando. Alcohol was out on a table a few feet away and he could tell he'd had too much to drink the night before, without thinking he collected his things and left as if he was some sex worker the world champion had taken back to his room the night before.
He'd managed to ignore all of the older mans texts, a part of him feeling bad and longing for him while another part was busy worrying about how badly he must've embarrassed himself.
After a week of putting it off there was no way to now, if Fernando didn't speak to him before Quali he most definitely would after.
He walked alone through the paddock, answering short questions here and there before he found a swarm of people who all called his name.
"Lance, Lance Stroll, How do you feel about what Red Bull and David Coulthard have had to say about you this past week?"
Lance thought for a second, wondering if it was a wise choice to answer the question, in the end he decided it couldn't hurt too much "I honestly couldn't care less, I don't care what Red Bull or Coulthard thinks about me, thank you" He nodded slightly before leaving, not having much more to say and not wanting to elaborate on the whole thing
Somehow he'd managed not to run into Fernando even as Quali came to an end, he was set to start the race in 11th, somehow stopping himself from checking where Fernando was starting from.
His luck didn't last long before he was greeted by the same voice as always
"Lancito, will you avoid me forever?" Fernando asked, Lance wasn't sure whether the Spaniard was joking or was truly hurt by what Lance was doing
"Sorry, I've been busy" He lied, not even turning around to look at Fernando
"What is wrong? Did I do something? I am not sure how to fix it if you do not tell me, mi sol" He spoke softly, just like he always did with lance, he entered the Racing Point garage, just trying to get closer to the Canadian, trying to get him to meet his eyes
"It's nothing, I'm just busy" Lance tried to convince Fernando, he wasn't very good at it
"Too busy to talk to me but before I was the only one you'd talk to" Fernando teased, trying anything to figure out what was wrong
Lance tried to hide his embarrassment as he finally looked at Fernando, the only thing he could think about was the morning after the Europen Grand Prix.
"Is this about last week?" Fernando guessed, Lance couldn't help but be slightly annoyed at how the older man was always right "All we did was drink, Lancito, you were upset so I thought you would like drinking alone, no?"
"Yeah, sorry, I- I don't know why I freaked out" He forced out a laugh, trying to make himself feel less awkward talking to Fernando for the first time in a week
"Is okay, Lancito, are you embarrassed because of what you said?"
"What I said?" He echoed, now he was embarrassed, what did he say for Fernando to bring it up so many days later
"About the crash, you were very upset, mi sol" Fernando didn't exactly lie but he knew that wasnt what he meant. If Lance really didn't remember what he had begged of Fernando than maybe he didn't mean it, Fernando was sure his emotions were just hightened.
"Oh" Lance laughed, feeling relieved after Fernando confirmed nothing else was talked about "I'm not embarrassed, I kinda feel like you"
Fernando smiled, patting the Canadians shoulder "Feels good, eh? Getting in a little trouble?"
The two continued talking, both felt as though a weight had been lifted of their shoulders except Fernandos was replaced with another. While he spoke to Lance as if nothing had happened he couldn't help but hear Lances words replaying in his head.
His eyes stayed glued to Lance as he rambled on, the Spaniard wondered if he really did need him, if he truly felt that way, or if it was just drunken words influenced by how he was feeling earlier that day.
The two spoke for a while longer, just catching up as if much had really happened in seven days.
Lance felt better walking into the paddock the next day, arriving with Nico again as if he hadn't spent the last week moping and ignoring everyone (besides his dad, it proved to be harder to ignore your dad-boss than your coworker-friends.)
"Let's hope coulthard keeps his distance today" Nico spoke, breaking the silence between the two
"God, the next time I hear his name I think I'm gonna explode." Lance whined, having been asked about him all week
"Cmon, you know no press is bad press" Nico added, reminding Lance of his dad
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get ready" The two entered the garage, both almost going straight to their drivers room to get in their fireproofs and race suit
This week was better, David Coulthard qualified last so there was almost no chance in a collision with him, Lance was thankful.
Lance managed to overtake a few times in the race, going from 11th to 9th by the end but he knew it wasn't good enough, neither drivers securing points for the team.
He wasn't upset though, he decided to go to the podium for the first time after the race, excited for Fernando since he just won his home Grand Prix
Fernando looked gorgeous on top, practically beaming as the Spanish anthem played. Fernando was basking in it, the win, his home country, his fans supporting him so loudly with flags and signs, though none of it made him smile as bright as seeing Lance in the crowd below, the Canadians smile shining brighter than anyones.
He stood out, whether it was because Fernando couldn't help but search for him in every crowd or because of his bright pink suit, Fernando didn't care. All that mattered was that he was there, celebrating the Spaniards win as if he hadn't had a disappointing race.
Once he got off the podium he went straight to Lance, not letting him speak before trapping him in a tight hug, he wasn't sure why, he just wanted to.
"Good job, Nando" Lance laughed, hugging the Spaniard back
"Gracias" Fernando spoke into Lances shoulder, feeling as though the pair were on the people in the world. He wasn't sure why he was so happy knowing Lance came down to congratulate him, it just felt good, earlier in the week he was scared it would never be the same between the two because of the past week but he'd managed to save it perfectly, leading to the two in one anothers arms once again which was exactly what the pair wanted.
"You did good, great, amazing, seriously, you led 55 laps and just won your home Grand Prix, you're brilliant" Lance gushed, Fernando raising his head to look at the Canadian
"Is this how you feel when I come to you?" Fernando asked, a smile still plastered on his face, not able to imagine a better end to the race week.
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peachsayshi · 1 year
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deadass started reading ‘the way you love me’ after seeing the news abt gojo and i ended up pulling an all-nighter on it 🧍‍♀️ i wasnt intending on smut I just happened upon it bc of the ‘gojo satoru needs a hug’ tag on ao3 but now im a little bit obsessed and i just wanted to pass along a hug of support to a fellow gojo luvr<3 and also ask if u could maybe write something bittersweet with him bc im still grieving immensely.. can be canon compliant or an au or a lil fix-it blurb i just need to feel Something JSJSJD …..💔💔
➳  minors / ageless / blank blogs dni /this blog is 20+ for follows
⥽ notes: nonniee!! ahhh, first off I'm sending you such a big hug after reading the leaks (because it's what we all deserve right now).I love this string bean so much :c he's the reason why I started writing fanfics again :c thank you so much for taking the time to read my gojo fic! I really appreciate the feedback & support xo here's a little bittersweet blurb xo
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags: angst/fluff; canon doesn't exist here; in which gojo wins but at a cost; reader has a little anxiety; in which you are both healing together; mentions gojo as a dad; manga spoilers
the image of him on the ground, tattered up like a torn up doll, has your body springing upright from your mattress. your legs go numb as your throat tightens with a discomfort that has you struggling to catch your breath from witnessing the soul of your lover descending into an unknown abyss where you couldn’t follow.
why did he look so real?
the visual sends tremors down your spine, making your heart bang heavily in your chest as your ears ring. you instantly reach for him; your hand desperately seeking out his warmth, but instead your are met with the cold touch of your pillow.
the space beside you is empty, and your heart whispers a low, and petrified: no.
you kick off your bedsheets to stand on your two feet and even though the abrupt gesture makes you a little lightheaded, you catch your balance as you swiftly walk out of your bedroom.
it’s just a dream…
one quick turn to the kitchen is where you find him.
you reach your arm around to pinch your skin just to make sure that you are awake...
...that everything around is what is real.
gojo angles his neck towards you, his gaze softening at the sight of you and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
"I thought you were asleep," he addresses, the gentle tone of his voice prompting you to march right up to him.
the front of his brows pinch with concern when you reach for his tee and bury your nose into his chest to breathe in the cozy scent of spice and citrus.
a scent that always smells of coming home, of safety, of love...
hot tears prick your eyes; it was just a bad dream, you remind yourself, just a bad dream.
you tilt your chin up, sighing with ease when you meet those familiar irises, all the while thinking that he's still as breathtaking as ever.
you love that he's letting his hair grow out, the snowy length just grazing the base of his neck while the shorter, front layers frame his face nicely.
it's cute seeing him experiment with different looks in this very new process of self discovery - a stage which he was robbed from entirely in his youth.
his once striking, prominent eyes are now soft and muted, a hint of grey glazing over the sparkling blue. the tear in his right pupil reminds of you of that fateful night three years ago, when the weight of the world hung heavily on the broad shoulders of the man before you.
his perfect hands return the gesture of your touch as they seek out your waist, and the simple contact makes your lashes flutter with relief.
he may no longer be the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, the possessor of six eyes, the untouchable with an infinity that garnered his protection...but he is still forever your satoru.
the last three years had you counting every single blessing, with the roots of your happiness blooming all over your home. it's in the gold band that sits comfortably around your ring finger, in every single photograph which has been thoughtfully framed and the bundle of joy sleeping quietly in her bed just down the hall.
yet, despite all of is, you can't shake off the vile cursed king who haunts you like a ghost, especially when you think about the true cost of that battle. if things had taken a turn for the worse then the last three years wouldn't even exist, and everything around you would have been a simple fabrication-
"hey," gojo squeezes your waist to grab your attention, a worried pout forming on his pretty pink lips, "why do you look so upset, angel?"
you swallow the hard lump that's been stuck in your throat since you've woken up. "I had a really bad dream," you proceed to explain, but your voice wavers instantly as a single tear trickles down your cheek, "I had a dream that I...that I lost you..."
your husband arches his brow, but you feel him relax against your touch as a cheeky grin lights up his face. "but I'm right here" he teases with a playful tone that instantly triggers you to feign annoyance.
"Ugh, obviously, satoru..." you scold, gripping your digits against the material of his shirt.
you try to pull away from him, but he simply secures his arms behind your lower back to keep you looped into his frame.
you don't deny the comfort of his embrace, and instead fold by circling your own limbs around his waist as you rest your cheek against his chest.
"I meant losing you for good, as in...never seeing you again..."
"ahh, I see..." your husband acknowledges.
"it scared me, satoru. it really did," you vent with a tiny sniffle. “I thought you were really gone for a moment…”
he draws small, soothing circles with his index finer on your lower back, allowing you to hold onto him for as long as you need while you softly let out your small sobs as the quiet settles around you.
“I can promise you one thing..."
"what's that?"
he releases you for only a moment to cup your cheeks. his face is full of love, showered with devotion that helps wash away your distress. he carefully wipes the rogue tears that fall from your beautiful eyes, before arching forward to tap the tip of his nose against yours.
"you're not getting rid of me that easily" he smiles tenderly and lightly pecks your lips.
his words are laced with confidence, dripping with a strong level of assurance that only satoru gojo can deliver.
it’s lighthearted but full of meaning, because the last time he said that sentence was right before walking into battle.
you curl your fingers around his wrist, parting your mouth this time when he searches for a second kiss. your ears burn when he firms his hold on your jaw, a low flame igniting in your belly as he glides his tongue across yours and releases a satisfied hum in the process.
the kiss is a little extra sweet tonight, like you're savoring the saccharine syrup of the ripest candied berries-
"hmph, 'toru?" you mumble into the kiss, your mind slowly leaving the shrouds of darkness as you rest your forehead comfortably against his. "were you…were you eating the treats that I got for 'ume?"
"what?" he dramatically scoffs in disbelief, "no..."
"satoru..." you reprimand.
"you really think I snuck out here just to eat izumi's candy?"
a tiny giggle escapes you, "you taste like I'm biting into sugar granules..."
"that's cause I'm made of only good things, sweetheart" he smiles as he nuzzles his nose against yours.
for whatever reason that answer brings you immense comfort. despite how much of him has actually changed, you're happy to know that satoru is still himself in many, many other ways.
"I now see where our daughter gets her exceptionally cute charm from," you concede with a roll of your eyes.
"mhmm," satoru agrees with a level of pride that makes your heart swell.
you know just how much that little girl means to him.
he straightens his back, his hand still cradling your face as he calmly strokes his thumb back and forth over your cheek. "feeling a bit better?"
you exhale, "yeah, a little-"
"you want to head back to bed?"
you nod your head, tilting it only slightly for you to kiss the inside of his palm.
“c’mon, let’s get you tucked in”
you’re not quick to let him go just yet, and satoru has to fight back from smiling like an idiot when you lock your arms around his waist.
he stays entangled, draping his own across your shoulder as he leads you back into the bedroom.
you don’t have to tell him where the source of your pain stems from.
he knows it all too well himself.
as a matter of fact, it’s now ingrained at the very core of satoru's soul because even he can’t deny the severity of what happened.
that night stripped him of everything he's ever known, of everything he’s ever believed himself to be…
but he doesn't care about the loss. he doesn’t mull over the depths of his sacrifice when the exchange of his divinity for his mortality meant the reward of living out the rest of his life with his one true love by his side.
it’s a decision he would have made a thousand times over.
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cupoftaae · 1 year
Text
Still Perfect (JK Drabble)
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Summary- Your mind is playing evil tricks on you again, and the only one who can bring you back down to earth is your husband, the one you are ashamed to admit everything to.
Warnings- swearing, minor angst, they are in luv its cute, mentions of depression (reader), mentions of medications. 18+
Enjoy <3
"Baby...I'm gonna take Gia outside to test the new swing I put up, do you wanna come?" Jungkook whispered, his hand on your back as you laid in the dark bedroom at 2 in the afternoon.
You sighed, looking up at your husbands face, "I want to but I just...Im so tired"
He nodded sadly, "okay...thats okay you dont have to, I'll take pictures?"
"yes please" you smile weakly
"mama!! mama! lets go outside!" Your 3 year old, Gia, runs into the room and stands beside your bed.
Jungkook was quick to pick her up into his arms, squeezing her, "mama isnt feeling too good right now, shes gotta rest." he whispered
"again?" your daughter pouted, her big eyes looking down at you- and with single glance, your heart was broken into 5 million pieces.
Jungkook frowned, "hey, sometimes adults get tired, its okay, we will go have fun in the backyard and you can see mama later? wave bye bye" he held her small hand up and waved for her as he began to leave the room, mouthing a soft "love you" in your direction before the door shut.
with that, the tears began to flow.
Your depression struggles have always found a way into your family, when you were dating jungkook you spent so much time explaining that sometimes you just cant function, and he was the first boyfriend you had that understood and didnt make you feel like a piece of shit for struggling with something out of your control.
It was nice, but then the fears that he would leave set in.
He always tries his best to make sure you feel loved and appreciated, when he proposed, he took you to Italy for 3 weeks just to be alone with you.
And your wedding was no different either.
He made sure you felt beautiful the way you were, showing you off at any chance he could, and even stepping away from the after party with you for a bit when things got overwhelming.
Many emotions were experienced when you became pregnant after 3 months of marriage. The guilt in believing you werent a good mother, the guilt for not having enough energy to eat most days even though you knew it wasnt just about/for yourself.
The self neglect was the worst part, and if jungkook had not been there to help you through all of the ugly, you dont know what you would have done.
You love him so much and the thought that maybe he doesnt feel that from you is terrifying, the thought that your daughter is only 3 and is already catching onto her mothers odd behavior is alarming.
Gia sees her friends moms play with them, she goes over to her cousins house and plays with their mom, why doesnt her own mom have that energy?
The tears seeped into the silk pillows as you squeezed your eyes shut.
This was how it often was for you: no emotion at all, or sadness. thats it, since you were 13.
No amount of doctor visits or therapy could fix you, and now you were letting it ruin your family.
-
A bit after Jungkook brought Gia inside, she fell asleep on the couch in the living room.
He smiled and took a photo of her small bundled up body laying on the cushion before making his way upstairs to show you.
"honey, you awake?" he mumbled, sliding open the door and walking in.
You were facing the opposite wall, feeling absolutely numb.
"baby" he smiled, kissing your forehead, "you okay? you wanna see the videos of gia?"
You tried to open your mouth to talk but nothing came out, instead your eyes teared up again and you turned your face further into the pillow to hide.
He frowned, putting his phone away as he climbed under the covers with you, his larger body spooning against yours. "sweetheart, whats going on?" his hand brought you closer
"I dont know" you whispered quietly
"just not doing good again?" he questioned, hand rubbing your side softly to soothe you.
You nod, unable to talk.
"im here for you, did you take your medication?"
"no.."
"okay well lets do that now so we dont forget, okay?" he sat up and pulled open your nightstand drawer, taking the pill you take daily and handing it to you alongside a water bottle.
You gently sat up and leaned against the headboard, taking the pill.
"where is she?" you asked quietly, teary eyes catching to kooks in the dimly lit bedroom.
"she passed out on the couch downstairs, bam is laying with her" he smiled, finding a cozy spot beside you again.
"am I a bad mom?" you question, watching his face contort
"what? why would you ask me that? of course you arent"
"jungkook I havent been able to leave the room for 2 days, this isnt normal....she misses me, she needs her mommy and im failing her" your voice cracked slightly as jungkook immediately brought you into his arms, caging you against him.
"dont talk like that, you are such an amazing woman, y/n. I would have never married you otherwise. You are so fucking strong and you cant let yourself fall into this dark space, you are struggling, yes, but we take it step by step, just like we've always done." he rubs your back as he speaks, "and Gia doesnt feel left out, she would not stop talking about you the entire time we were outside. Dont tell her I told you but she picked a bunch of 'flowers' for you" he giggled, "I didnt have the heart to tell her they were just weeds"
You allow yourself to laugh softly, leaning into your husbands embrace.
"you are doing so well....so incredibly well baby. I know life isnt always fair but we cant blame ourselves, we have to pick up what we have learned and move on as stronger people."
You nod, looking at him as he wipes the tear on your cheek.
"my beautiful girl, I love you so much, you know that?"
You smile sadly, "I love you too"
"can I take you downstairs and we can cuddle on the couch? I'll cook for you, you havent eaten in hours"
"okay" you sniff, allowing jungkook to help you up and keep a blanket wrapped around your body.
-
"mommy!"
Gia's toothless smile greeted you as you came downstairs, Bam laying on her protectively.
"Hi baby" you waved and walked over, sitting onto the couch and letting her crawl into your lap. "I missed you sweetheart, oh- your overalls are backwards" you giggled softly
Jungkook blushed as he sat on the other side of you, sharing a funny glance with his daughter.
"daddy dress me" she whispered
"I can tell" you smile, squeezing her tightly and rocking back and forth gently.
"my pretty girls" jungkook whispered, more so to himself than directed at you both.
"and bammy" gia added on, hiding her face against your chest.
"and bammy" you insisted, rubbing her back
Jungkook leaned over to wrap you two into his arms, kissing both of your heads.
"did you have fun outside" you asked
Gia giggled, "yeah...but daddy pushed the swing too much, I fell" she babbled
"what?" You look at your husband
"shes okay, shes breathing, shes here" he began, smothering his hands over his little girls face as she laughed loudly.
"mama feeling okay?" she asked once you all calmed down,
"mama is doing okay, my dear. Dont worry about me, I love you so much" you squished her face softly and kissed her nose
"love you more!!" she added, clapping her hands
"Love you most!!" You couldnt help but smile as jungkook leaned his head against the back of the couch, eyes drawn on his wife and daughter only.
"i'll make some lunch" he spoke, standing
"yay!! I help?" Gia hopefully asked
"no no, you girls sit there and look cute" he winked at you before walking off to the kitchen, bam following him in hopes of getting a treat.
You loved your little family, and you wouldnt trade them for anything the world had more to offer.
They were the ones who got your through the toughest part of life, and you were grateful that in this moment you didnt have to fake a smile.
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divinelolita · 1 year
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Hey omg ive been reading your storys and i cant stop ther all so good omg anyway can you make a fic with male reader x tom and bill. Basically we are bill and toms celebrity crush evry scene they were little like 2005 and like in 2006/2007
And like we reach out to them and ask if they wanna make a collaboration (like a song together) and every one from tokio hotel is excited to be working with us but tom and bill are like freaking out wean they see us infrot of them
KAULITZ TWINS X MALE READER
hii bae! I loved this request <3 I went off track near the end so pls forgive me 😋
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For as long as Tom and Bill could remember, they had always liked M/N. I mean, who wouldn't? He was funny, handsome, and kind. At first they thought it was just admiration, but they found out that they had a true crush on this celebrity. The twins found this a bit strange though, as they almost never liked the same person at the same time. The two of them just couldn't stop loving M/N though, as much as they tried to. 
Georg and Gustav would sometimes tease the brothers about this, though. And today just so happend to be one of those days.
 "Seriously though, who's gonna walk down the isle with the dress?" Georg teased as he tossed a cracker into his mouth, Gustav giggling beside him. Bill just rolled his eyes and ignored the two as he sipped his coke. "Bill definitely has the legs for it." Gustav muttered, making Tom snort and Bill throw his can of soda at the blonde. Gustav yelped, flinching as the can missed him by a centimeter. "Oh,fuck you!" Bill sneered, although his cheeks flushed red. 
The tour bus door opened as Jost walked it. Everybody quickly fixed their posture and stopped goofing off, although they felt less tense as they saw Jost smile. "Well kids," he began, making Georg scoff before clearing his throat as Tom shot him a piercing look. Hey it wasn't his fault- Georg was 19, he wasn't a kid anymore! "Good news. We have just recently gotten a collaboration request from somebody. I'm sure you guys will be excited when-" Jost was cut off by Tom, who excitedly exclaimed "Avril?!". Gustav chortled quietly, his smiling dropping as quick as it appeared when he received a stern look from Jost. Bill gave a little smile to Jost, excited to see who he would make music with. 
"... No. I was going to say the collab was 'gonna be with M/N." The twins smiles fell quickly, a look of disbelief and excited in their eyes. "I...M/N? Like.. M/N L/N?" Bill coughed. All it took was a nod from Jost and the tour bus went wild. Georg whooped out loud, Gustav started to laugh, and the twins talked non stop. "Really?!" "We're gonna work with M/N?" "AHHHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT!" Bill and Tom squealed like little girls seeing puppies. Jost shushed them, the tour bus going silent apart from the little giggles from all members. 
"Hush, you sound like toddlers." Jost scolded, but he was smiling brightly himself. "But yes, we will be working with him." Georg quirked an eyebrow, looking at Jost expectantly. "Is he coming to our studio or..?" he questioned, glancing at Gustav to see if he knew. "Don't look at me you dumbass." Gustav muttered, rolling his eyes. "Yes. He should be at our studio.. in two days." When Jost said that Tom let out a small gasp. "T-two days? Really?" 
"Mmmhhmm." Jost concluded. "Now, M/N wanted to see if you guys wanted to......" 
-TWO DAYS LATER 😱😱-
Bil groaned as he looked in the mirror. Although he wasnt going out to brunch or photoshoots he had still did his makeup, yet he was too lazy to do his hair so it layed over his shoulders. Tom came in behind him, pushing him lightly to the side so he could get his toothbrush to brush his teeth. "Tom.. Are you nervous?" Bill asked, sitting on the closed toilet seat. Tom took a second before responding, brushing his teeth fast before he spat into the sink, washing out his mouth. 
"I'm always nervous before studio days, Billy. " He responded, going to wash his face with the soap. Bill groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. "Nooo Tom.. I meant about M/N being here." Bill pouted, elbows resting on his kneecaps as he rested his chin upon his hands. Tom shrugged, leaning against the wall. "Ehhh I guess so. But I'm not too worried, you?" Tom asked, adjusting his baggy shirt. Bill bit his lip," Aggh, I don't know! I think I am but I just-" Bill began, but he was cut off as Gustav banged on the door.       " Hurry the fuck up I gotta piss dude! ". Tom giggled as he opened the door, letting Bill out before himself. He gave his little brother a small smile. "C'mon, Bill. Don't worry about it. Everything will be okay." Bill softly smiled back. "Yeah.. Yeah." Bill nodded, "I'm okay." 
-at the studio-
Bill paced back and forth, humming Monsoon under his breath. Georg was adjusting his bass as Gustav played a few beats on his drums. Tom has his headphones plugged into his phone, listening to God knows what. It was mostly silent until they heard a few knocks on the door, Jost going to open it with a smile on his face. When he opened it, it was indeed M/N in all his glory. He smiled at Jost before smiling at all the band members, putting his coat on the cost rack in the corner. Georg smiled and introduced himself, going to shake M/N's hand as Gustav greeted him. Bill felt his legs to wobbly and Tom felt like he didn't have any more air in him. 
Bill had paused his pacing next to Tom, as Tom grabbed onto Bills elbow lightly. Bill smiled at Tom, excitement pulsing in his veins. He didn't even realise M/N was behind him. "Hey, Bill and Tom! What's up?" he greeted politely, holding out his hand. Bill turned around, his face red. He started at M/N for a second before he put a smile on his face and shook M/N's hand, his hand feeling limp as M/N held a firm grip. "Ah! It's so nice to finally meet you." Bill said with what he hoped was confidence. The (color) haired boy then turned to Tom and held his hand out, Tom gulping before taking it and smiling up at him." Hey, M/N..!" he greeted, his tounge playing with his lip ring. He shuddered slightly when M/N winked at him before retracting his hand. 
When they all decided it was time to discuss ideas, the G's came over and sat to the right of Tom. M/N took a seat between the twins, making them both blush and get flustered. M/N began to speak.  "Ah okay, well I was thinking about doing this because....." 
(you can like make up a song the made cuz I'm not writing allat 🙏🙏😍)
"Wow.." Tom said as M/N came to a conclusion. He really did like M/N's ideas as did the rest of the band. Gustav and Georg had even added a few of their ideas, which went with the theme of the song perfectly. M/N began to speak about different intros they could start with, but Bill lost track as M/N's hand brushed against his own. He felt like he had been electrocuted but..in a good way? He wanted it to happen again and again. He felt himself shuffle slightly closer to M/N, trying to disguise it under wanted to hear M/N more clearly. He nearly died when M/N smirked at him and asked his own opinion about the song. 
"I uh.. I think it sounds great so far! Really, it's perfect." Bill babbled, feeling himself grow more red. The two G's giggled under their breath. "I'm glad you think so!" M/N smiled at him. 
When everybody got set up, they began the rough draft. It actually turned out good, but redoing the song 3 times in a row definitely burned it into Tom's mind. Tom groaned after the 4th time, cracking his neck as he rubbed it. "Awhh, fuck man. My neck is killing me." Georg rolled his eyes, knowing that he too was bent over his guitar and he didn't feel any pain. M/N glanced over at Tom, laughing softly to himself as he reached over and began to dig into his shoulders and neck. Even though it would have hurt Tom normally, he felt himself lean into the touch as he flushed pink. 
He forced himself to hold back a small whimper when M/N hit a particularly sensitive spot, biting his bottom lip preventing himself from making noise. He blushed harder as he heard M/N chuckle as he looked at the dreadhead. 
-Later in the break room-
They all sat on couches in the break room, Bill smoking a cig as he was seated next to M/N, Tom on Bills  left. The G's sat infront of them, holding back laughs as he saw how jittery the twins were. Georg finished his water, going to get up to throw it out and get another. Gustav followed, giggling as he whispered something to Georg that made him snort and nearly choke on his own spit. 
So it was just the twins and M/N, yay! Bill continued smoking his cigarette as he leaned onchis brother, Tom humming the best of their new song lowly as he shook his leg. M/N looked between the two of them, smirking slightly. "So.. Y'all trying to grab lunch?" M/N asked, looking at the two of them. He noted how they both went flushed and hesitated before agreeing "Yeah!"they said in union, smiling softly at the celebrity. 
They landed at some Italian restaurant, ordering a pizza. (if u don't like pizza sorry 😴) M/N took a bitevas he realised that the twins would glance at him every few seconds, taking bites of their own food. "Mmhh? Is there something on my face..?" M/N jokingly said, holding back a giggle as he watched how surprised and flustered the boys looked. The two apologized as they blushed, looking down at their food. "Y'know, you guys are pretty bad at masking your feelings."
Tom nearly spat out his water as Bill looked at M/N with a scared expression.  "I-..what do you mean?" Bill started as he stuttered, Tom being quiet trying to recover from choking. M/N shrugged, taking a sip of his water. "I mean, I can tell you guys like me." M/N nearly laughed as he watched Tom's jaw drop and Bill blink rapidly. He spoke again before the twins could get a chance. "Really though, I don't care. You guys are cute anyways." He continued, taking another bite of his pizza as he grabbed another slice "Cute?" Tom repeated, smiling slightly. 
M/N chuckled to himself "Ehhh.. Ive liked you guys since.. He looked up as he pondered." 2006..?" ( it can be like 2007-2008 👍) Bill cocked his head to the side "You've liked us.. Both?" he muttered, feeling his palms get sweaty. "Yeah. I mean, who wouldn't?" It was really shocking Tom that M/N could speak like this with confidence, not being nervous about his feelings. "So... Now what?" Tom asked, spinning his ring on his finger. M/N raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Hmm, I dunno. I mean, you like me and I like you both.." Bills mouth opened and closed a few times before speaking. 
"Do you have to like,.. Pick?" He began, looking worried as he glanced at Tom. "I don't care if you and Tom date." Tom shook his head, about to say that M/N and Bill could date, before M/N spoke with a calm and easy tone. "It's easy. I date you both." Tom blinked s few times as Bill looked at M/N with curiosity. "... You can do that..?" he asked silently, biting his lip. Tom followed up, "What about like..jealously and that shit?" 
M/N smiled softly at both of them, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "I mean obviously we'd talk about boundaries and jealously and communication." Bill nodded slightly, looking over at Tom. "I'm okay if your okay with it." Bill said, patting Tom's shoulder gently. Tom seemed to think about it for a few more seconds before he glanced at his brother and then at you, smiling. "I'm fine with it." 
"How much you wanna bet Bill will go down the isle in the dress?" They heard muttered behind them. Bills face scrunched as he turned, revealing the G's giggling. 
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hballegro · 1 month
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i wasnt lying when i said henry was 85% done last night
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file name is 'its MY hyperfixation and I decide who lives'
previous editions
lieutenant colonel henry blake here wearing pants that DEFINITELY arent swim trunks that he's pretending are normal shorts
hes wearing goldtoes for no reason i just didnt like how it looked with all one colour and didnt have the energy to give him funny socks. potter will probably have to wear horse socks to compensate 😔
i enjoyed completely Making Shit Up with the fishing lures. like i followed his hat in the show for most of them but for 2 they were literally just the first cool thing i saw looking up 'vintage fishing lures'
the group shot NOW WITH EDITS!
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before long im gonna have to break this group shot into 2 sections. tumblr is getting PISSED at me.
breakdown of what all i changed + bts under the cut
the list is not long. most of the list is trapper.
everything is before/after, so first image is old and second image is new
smoothed stuff out for marg's skirt so it looks more like spandex or whatever
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slightly nudged sidney's right eye [our left]. like its really slight but it makes my brain happy
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bullied mulcahy's legs. AGAIN.
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lessened hawkeye's stubble. just a tiny bit.
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broadened radar's shoulders a little, made him have a bottom lip, messed with his neck
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and for trapper. im just putting a fullbody; i changed his face. widened his shoulders a bit. fixed his head so its in the right place. changed his skintone by a degree of like .0001. i think i made his legs longer too. also his pants are a colour that makes my brain less mad.
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there isnt much bts this time;
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week 1 of college has kicked my ass but we stay winning. we stay drawing lieutenant colonel henry blake. we cant be stopped. we being I, myself, and Me
anyway. i need to go eat something.
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three to go. we can DO THIS
also this IS field day, and im keeping with the red sweatbands/bandanas/other things but it also serves dual purpose as a beach episode at this point. Good Ending where instead of the chicken on the bus [or henry's plane] its all of them crawling back to the 4077th with sunburn
SHOUTOUT TO ME FOR NOT HAVING TOO MUCH OF A BLUE BIAS. WE ACTUALLY HAVE A DECENT BALANCE OF COLOURS. I REALLY LIKE BLUE SO THIS IS BIG FOR ME.
anyway if you scrolled this far and have any thoughts abt what potter, charles, and klinger should wear, including just colour speculation, leave a reply or something, i DO monitor my posts very closely
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