#no post will ever be long here again by comparison...oy

[septembersghost]

also the episode where he gets the pills is the episode where he goes back to lisa and ben bc ben calls and claims there’s an emergency, and you have to wonder...dean is decidedly not doing well at the end of that episode when he leaves them again (presumedly permanently, because he can’t stay and he can’t answer lisa’s “what you do want from us?” return question). does he self-medicate over this? has he been doing this since sam came back? before? we don’t know. dean spends the whole season with people he loves more than anything alternately lying to him, harming him, betraying him, and him having to steel himself, to fight back, to take it. he’s openly hurt and vulnerable through much of it (6x20 - dean trying so hard to be loyal - is heartbreaking for this), some of that rawness due to the load bearing walls ever-so-slightly coming down during the year he had. his woundedness is more easily discernible to everyone else, rippling right under the skin (and they do not respond well to this, naturally), because he had, even briefly (but longer than he has ever had before), a place and time to grieve, and to be caring without accompanying violence. then he has to contend with his soulless brother, and how to bear being near him (but of course not being able to part from him), and how to be his conscience because even soulless, sam looks to him, imprints his emotions upon him, says he needs him (he claims as a tool, but no, there’s more to it), doesn’t want him to leave. dean has to figure out how to insist on putting him right and making him himself again, no matter the cost, beyond permission, because what’s the point if sam isn’t sam? bobby not telling him immediately. his soulless brother allowing him to be turned into a vampire, the multilevel horror of that act. his grandfather back from the dead and willing to throw them (literally) to ghouls, not valuing them at all, someone ELSE who values mary’s dead memory more than he values her living sons. being taught a terrible lesson about cosmic consequences by Death, but Death still puts his brother’s soul back. the soul being put back is tenuous and could break or kill sam at any moment. castiel deceiving and failing him from the moment they reunite, actually even before that, (and he’s offended at the mere suggestion, he doesn’t even want to believe it, so it must be true), working directly with their enemy and a threat to them. crowley unable to kill them, so he goes after the innocents dean left behind. how does he cope with that?

when he’s taking whatever he’s taking it’s because crowley and his goons kidnapped lisa and ben, and this is only going to get worse for him soon...

but in the scene with ben, when he says, “just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you should stick around and screw up their life,” he tells ben, “if i stayed, you’d end up just like me,” and this is absolutely the most horrible thought in the world to him. he says ben can choose any road he wants, but for dean, there’s only that one.

and ben says being like him wouldn’t be so awful (”Why do you say it like you're so...bad?”/"Well, trust me, I'm not someone you want to aim to be.” ben doesn’t see badness in him, and ben is frankly an awesome kid, he and lisa both care, he and lisa both stand up to dean’s excuses, and all of them are suffering. anyone who hates the braedens...miss me with it). ben says family is there to love you even when you’re being a dick, and that he’s a liar and that he’s walking out on them, and he’s not wrong. dean knows that, and dean looks like he’s been kicked in the chest (that would hurt less), because ben is sitting there calling him family, something he likely didn’t think he ever deserved to be to them. but the thing that caught me seeing this again is the way ben said it wouldn’t be a bad thing, being like dean. lisa tells dean earlier that she always wanted someone for ben to look up to.

i think i deleted the post i made about 6x05 (i shouldn’t have, 6x05 is a WHOLE thing unto itself, especially in the aftermath of what happened) and 6x06 (i’ve deleted so many of these)? but dean and veritas have this exchange:

Dean: You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood. Half the time, you're about to die. Like right now. I told myself I wanted out, that I wanted a family.

Veritas: But you were lying.

Dean: No. But what I'm good at is slicing throats. I ain't a father. I'm a killer. And there's no changing that. I know that now.

i have a gifset in my queue of cas’ confession bc i care about the words and want to reclaim them, but the thing is...cas got to say it in the most straightforward way, but people have been telling that same thing to dean for years, that he’s not a killer, that his actions are for love. sam does (you sacrifice everything for me). lisa and ben do. bobby even does (you’re a better man than your daddy ever was). and on the list extends. they just don’t say it in the literal words, but it’s there. WE always knew it. the thing that really struck me with ben in his openness is that saying he might be like dean is not ABOUT dean being a hunter. he doesn’t see dean as a killer. he sees the man, the human heart, in an earnest way. it’s dean who can’t, who can’t allow himself to, who doesn’t afford himself that luxury, even when he’s the epitome of humanity. he sees the weapon.

and that conversation with Veritas would hold SO MUCH unbelievable impact now, since we got to finally hear, “Dean Winchester, the ultimate killer.” “That’s not who I am.” think of the resonance of that! the defiance! ten years later! 

but instead, no, that’s not the parallel. the parallel is his echoing prediction - covered in blood until you’re covered in your own blood - coming true.

"There's no real bad guy here; just the inexorable sense that tomorrow doesn't hold anything more promising than today.”

so anyway i could scream!

[oveliagirlhaditright]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33251170

Eri had felt somewhat left out, when Shiki had a new group of friends... who clearly all knew some inside thing that she didn't. And Beat ended up telling Eri this thing (though not out of selfish reasons. It was when the world was threatened once more, and they thought they might need her Imagination), and sometimes... all it takes is one voice to make you feel needed and alight your Soul. BeatEri. Oneshot. Post Neo. Way in the future fic. I don't think there are any Neo spoilers here... But still maybe don't read, unless you've finished Neo, just to be safe.

I See You

Eri had had a crush on Beat for a long time.

And she knew how cliché that was: that the pretty, popular girl would have feelings for such a handsome man (though he was a skater boy, and she had never said "see you later, boy").

But what could she say? There had just been something endearing about him that Eri could easily see, when Shiki would go from hanging out with her, to spending time with him. Especially after the guy Shiki had loved, Neku, had vanished, and it had seemed like Beat was one of the few people who could who make Shiki feel better in the slightest after that—and Eri was eternally grateful to him for that.

And the times she'd seen him with his little sister, Rhyme, also scored big points for Beat in Eri's book, since anyone who cared about their sibling was someone who should be cherished, in her eyes. Eri had lost a little brother when she was young, and she still wasn't over it, thank you very much. She probably never would be.

But more than anything, Eri appreciated that Beat actually explained the Reapers' Game stuff to her, so she wouldn't be left out...

Though he probably shouldn't have, because Joshua--who sometimes still gave her the chills—had looked like he was going to kill her or Beat for that when he had... but since nothing had happened since then, Eri now saw it as a blessing that she was no longer out of the loop.

And to Beat's credit... he hadn't told her about the Game willy-nilly or selfishly, but when Shibuya was threatened a third time, she guessed, and everyone had decided they could use all the help they could get. Apparently, they'd thought about bringing Eri into the UG, in thinking her Imagination must be pretty high, for being the lead designer for Gatto Nero.

That hadn't happened, in the end. But when Eri had heard her city—and possibly other regions beyond it—was in danger, she'd been willing to kill herself to end up in the Game, to help the Players and Game Masters out.

But for now, she just carried a badge on her in case she was finally needed, if destruction was threatened a fourth time for Shibuya... since it was sadly trendy at this point?

Anyway, it was for all of these reasons that Eri liked Beat... but she didn't think he'd ever feel the same way about her. He was a living legend as much as Shiki, Neku, Rindo, Joshua, and the Wicked Twisters of old and new were. And who was she in comparison to that?

But the reason Eri had started thinking about Beat right now, was because she was a normal maiden who wanted a mate and those sorts of things, she supposed.

...But also, because she saw Jupiter of the Monkey was having a contest right now, where you were paired up with someone, to see which team could come up with the best new pin design... and thinking of the Reapers' Game—the Reapers' Game of old, that she had never been a part of; now they used badges instead of the old pins, apparently—Eri found that she really wanted to do this. With Beat in particular. But she doubted that he would ever be game for it. Or that any of the Hachiko Group, Wicked Twisters, or Blindfold would be, really.

But it was just as she was having that self-deprecating thought, that Beat just happened to come from Tokyu Hands to Cat Street, and saw her there. And Eri couldn't help beaming the moment that he did approach her.

"Yo-yickity-yo-yo-yo, Eri. What's crackin'? You thinkin' about buyin' some pins here? Man, does the thought of ‘em bring back memories."

"Actually, Beat," Eri corrected, a smile even wider on her face somehow, as she crept closer to him, "I'm thinking of entering the contest here, to try and make a winning design for a pin. I make clothes... but I've never tried my hand at this sort of art before. I think it might be a fun hobby. Wanna join me?"

And it took all that Eri had within her, not to stand on her tiptoes and kiss Beat, as a sort of drunk on happiness feeling overtook her. Perhaps someday: if she was fortunate to win all the gods above’s favor, in order to make him love her, but not now…

"Yo! That right there sounds like all kindsa fun. I'm ona break from the Olympics, so I could dig doin' tha' right now. Just give me the detes on where's you want ta meet up and I'll be there!"

And Eri did just that, thinking that maybe fortune was perhaps smiling on her again, after all.

And she and Beat began the vigorous task of making a pink pin—something that Beat had not been on board with at all at first, but eventually Eri convinced him of it with a neat black background that looked like space—that was somewhat reminiscent of the ones you'd get in America's "Hot Topic", before they stopped selling them, but that was also completely original. Eri knew, because she’d lived in America for a few years, before moving back to Japan and meeting Shiki…

When Beat and Eri were done, they had what looked like a pink sun setting across the solar system—looking striking as it did so--and Eri couldn’t have been more pleased with it if she could try. And she could tell that Beat felt the same way, too.

"I don't care if we win or not, yo. This pin is sick, and I'mma wear it when I go back to work, and maybe see if I can make pins in again. But why'd ya wanna make it so badly, Eri?"

And, damnit. Beat was giving Eri the puppy dog pout—in her room no less—and so she felt all her walls crumbling down, and her mouth moving to tell him the truth, despite itself.

"...I don't know. I guess because it represents something I feel I can never reach with you guys: Your first Reapers' Games. But Beat... you tried to include me in all that… so I guess I can touch it a bit more through you, than I could have otherwise. And I- I like you for that. So- so thank you."

And Eri couldn't believe that she'd just admitted that she liked Beat, so out of the blue, when she was certain he wouldn't feel the same way. And so matter-of-factly, too.

But fortunately, he seemed to realize what she meant right away, Eri guessed (that she liked-liked him, to sound like a fourteen-year-old again, and not just as a friend), as he suddenly knelt in front of her and held her hands in his own. Was he preparing to just soften the blow, or-

"Eri, you're on our level. Ai'ight? Don't even think otherwise! You was ready to throw down wit us. And might have to in the future, sadly… Oy. And if it weren't for you, Shiki would have done no designin', and might not have had her Mr. Mew psych to save Phones in the first Game. And then we all woulda been wrecked. So, be like Shiki and 'ppreciate yourself now, yo. Or I'll have to do it all for you...

"And, to be frank, I wouldn' mind havin' ta learn ta do that. Jus' give me a lil’ time here, ta be able to recipr'cate your feelings."

And Eri laughed. And then pulled away from Beat some, and put her hand over her heart like a girl getting everything she ever could have asked for from a marriage proposal from a worthy man. To her, it was as good as that.

And Eri leaned down and kissed Beat's forehead.

It was the nice start of something new. And something sweet, since they didn't win the pin contest, but Eri wouldn't complain. It was her first rodeo with that kind of thing, after all.

And Beat wearing it as he snowboarded on TV was really all she'd ever need.

Author’s Note: I wrote this to try and figure out Eri’s character again—because I used to write her a little, back in the day—for another fic, maybe. And because I wanted to write Beat.

So, the two things combined, and we have Beat/Eri… which I used to ship, though I don’t know if I do anymore.

So, I wrote this for my younger self, so to speak… Especially since I deleted the one Beat/Eri fic I wrote, back in the day. And this one’s much better.

The Hot Topic line, was because I was trying to show that pins had really become unpopular in recent years! Like, they were once all the rage there, as well. But now they weren’t. But now it sort of seems like an unnecessary line, meh.

And Beat swapped his skateboard for a snowboard:)

[1nsaankahanhai-bkr]

Oye sissy! You like karna too? I love my boy. I have always been too afraid too say that out loud because everyone in the fandom hates him. I dont think he is innocent but I don't think hr is bad either. Also I just started reading asoiaf and Jamie is absolutely a white karna. Problematic but in general a good person. Btw what's your thought on Jamie?

Hi.

This have been in my ask box for nearly two months .

Disclaimer: This is going to be very long. And as always I will be contradicting myself in every other sentence.

Sentence 1 : I love karna.

Sentence 2 : he is an asshole.

And this is absolutely not a case of cognitive dissonance.

Don't read further if you are a karna hater. Dont read further if you are thinking I am going to defend him at all.

Okay here I go.

I love karna a lot. As you mentioned sissy! He is not a great man but he is not a monster either. I hate when his fans whitewash him and when his haters blame him even for things he is not responsible. He have some redeeming qualities , he have many good qualities but that does not justify his actions. As I have said before a man should be judged by his actions and not his qualities. He has all qualities of a hero but yet he refuses to be hero.

Talking about redemption, I dont know whether I want him to have a redemption arc or not . You see I find all these redemption arc , parallels , foils and deconstruction thing to modern and western and should not be applied to ancient Indian text.

He is definitely not a hero but neither a villain. I dont think he is a tragic hero either. Is he tragic? Sure as hell . But so was ashwathama, does that mean he is a hero too? No . He is an anti hero at best. I like his character because he is so interesting and so complex ,not because he a good man. I hate touse words like he is so "human like" or anything like that . No a normal human like you and I won't ask for a woman to be disrobed or make enemy of a person years younger than him for no reason. Only a twisted mind would say so. He is not meant to be humane. He is literally a demigod much like his five brothers. All these characters are not meant to be relatable or human like. They are larger than life characters. Again I am saying all these terms are related to western literature . If you want humane characters go read ramayana or ramcharitra manas. They have characters who teaches you to be ideal not mahabharata. Also there ar no good or bad characters in mahabharata. It's ironic that despite having all the characters as "grey" it is based on good and bad.

He is tragic. He suffered but tell me one person who didn't suffer in mahabharat for no fault of theirs. Kunti abandoned him but she made sure that he was safe by asking shreya for kundal and kavach as a boon. Also remember she suffered all her life for this sin of abandoning her baby even though she made sure he is protected.

Yes he was victim of castist slurs all his life . Everyone was castist and sexist at that time. Now I am not saying that if everyone does a bad thing then it becomes good. I hate when people say that draupadhi deserved it or that karna is justified for doing so. Why should draupadhi be the only one to suffer for a thing that everyone did. Also remember she didn't say that out of hatred .It was an non intentional joke on her behalf. He was raised with kurus and pandavas. He was later made the king of ang by duryudhan.

As much as I hate yudi , you should remember that karna and yudhishthir, two of the most hated people in fandom didn't have lord vishnu himself guiding them at every step. Maybe they would have been as good or likeable as arjun if they did. I hate the part when Krishna and kunti tries to manipulate him . They know that he is the greatest warrior on kuru side and they try to bring him here or stop him from fighting on his side . I live Krishna but my hoe is so cunning . Kunti loved and cared karna as I mentioned earlier in the post but here she clearly want sto manipulate him. Why did she tell him that he was her son and had five brothers at 11th hour. Because of this karna promises her that her five sons will be alive at end. It's either him or arjun. I love how petty he is here. He always sticks to his promise . If she wanted she would have told this to pandavas too but she didn't. I am sure arjun would have not killed him if she told him. Karn might have started this but arjun could finish it , if only he knew. He is clearly the better man .

Here he decides to stay with duryudhan. Now I always had conflicting opinions about this. I dont know whether this is a quality that he decides to fight for duryudhan because he is loyal despite knowing every thing or a flaw of blind following that he decides to be with duryudhan despite knowing everything. I think it's both.

Now regarding second part of your question.( I love Jamie too)I am a bit hesitant to compare historical/ mythology characters to modern day literary characters but I will try. Obvious similarities-

1.Assholes

2.Have all qualities of hero but refuses to be a hero

3.Often whitewashed by their fans

4.Only good qualities are fixated

5.Their haters think they are monster

6.Great warrior/ knight

7.Looses their most important/ precious thing( hand and kundal kavach respectively)

8. Related to gold(en)

But the similarities end here. They are two completely different type of assholes. Besides Jamie is getting a redemption arc I guess.

Lastly I want to say that karna is a fascinating character. He is not someone to be romanticised nor some who should be demonised either . He should be seen as he is.

I love him but I refuse to see any character ,even Krishna through rose tinted glass. They are not meant to be seen like that.

God. This is the longest thing I have ever written or will ever write.

Tagging @luncheon-aspic @chaanv @avani008 and @medhasree @enigma-the-mysterious @glyphenthusiast @soniaoutloud for their opinions .

Tagging @incurablescribbler and @allegoriesinmediasres because they are or used to be in asoiaf fandom too so they can help you with comparison of characters.

[adilamkarol]

‎السّلام عليكم ورحمت الله و بركاته Hello & warm welcome once again! With Ramadan less than 2 weeks ahead, I cannot think of anything better than sharing with you some tips and tricks to go an extra mile this Ramadan and make the MOST of it. Oye,I have no magic to tell you. But personally, these are some tips that helped me sail through the past two Ramadans and hit Eid with a sense of satisfaction. And if you are thinking 'Nah, Isn't it too early to prep up for Ramadan?', No, we are way behind. But don't lose hope, better late than never. Now imagine a valley full of gold and you are told to take from it as much as you can. Which of the three types of people are you? 1. The type that will just not care and move on thus taking nothing, or 2. The type that will fill up their pockets and leave, or 3. The type that will bring trucks after trucks taking truckloads until it’s over. It’s clear, without a doubt that all of us will be of the third type. However, the month of Ramadan is greater than a valley full of gold but yet you will find the majority of the people simply not interested and will leave empty handed. This is an interesting analogy that I read somewhere last Ramadan:) Start preparing for Ramadan before it sets in, make to-do lists, clean up your spaces for worship and cleanse your heart. Purify your intentions, seek the reward only from Allah and then ان شاء الله (if Allah wills) you will find time for everything you thought you wouldn't. I am not going to give you an exhaustive list of to-do's. Plus you don't have to stick to every single step. Pick up those you feel are 'the' ones for you and work them up. So, yeah, roll up your sleeves and let's get started! 1. Before speaking of anything that adds up to your productivity, first let's address any issue that costs you distractions. Delete those useless games off your phone, stop watching those Youtube videos for entertainment and everything else not worth getting into your Ramadan schedule. Maybe it's nothing haram, still, keep it outside Ramadan if its not clearly not necessary. So No.1 - ward off distractions! 2. Set Quran memorisation goals for the month. Maybe you have never done one. Or maybe you feel you are too old for it. Or your memory isn't good enough. Stop. Stop making yourself believe this nonsense. You never know what wonders you can do unless you fail at least ten times. You don't have to compete with anybody. You don't even have to tell anyone. Pick up a surah you feel you can complete in 30 days. Download a good slow recitation and listen to it a minimum of 15 times. If you confused where and how to begin ,check out my earlier post here. Trust me, nothing is going to stand in comparison to the happiness you'll feel at the end of the month. You may ask why this is so important, it's because Allah introduces this month in the Quran as, "Ramadan is the (month) in which the Quran was sent down, as a guide to mankind and a clear guidance and judgment (so that mankind will distinguish from right and wrong).." (Q 2:183) 3. Learn 20 duas by the end of the month. We all have those mini sized books quoting all duas. Duas are to be in our hearts and not papers. C'mon. This isn't hard. 20 duas in 30 days. 4. Make it the month of Ramadan. Try to build an incredible connection with the Qur'an this month. Choose a surah, maybe it's the same one you are memorising or some other- doesn't matter. Learn the meaning of it. Find an authentic tafsir online or buy one and read it over and over this month. If you have no idea what I'm telling you, start reading from Tafsir Ibn Kathir. Let it penetrate your heart so much that every time you think of Ramadan 2017, you have happy memories of that surah. Go out of your way to internalize it. If you feel you are going to see a dip in motivation to move further a little later, Buddy up! Find a Friend who hold a similar interest and hook up. That way, you can encourage each other. Go find one! 5. Find a small sized notebook to list down all things you wish to make dua for this Ramadan. Let it run from teeny weeny things like asking Allah to make you brave to big things like refuge from the hellfire. One side of the book be for this list in English and one side for Arabic duas from the Qur'an and sunnah. I made myself one like 2 years ago and it still helps. Without one, you'll find yourself scratching your head when you are sitting down to pray. It's not always that you remember all the things you ever wanted. A written list makes it super easy! 6. Block an hour or 45 min purely for the recitation of Quran . It's okay if you don't understand what's being said, there's still abundant rewards. 7. WARNING: This tip is only for those who are able to control your use of gadgets. If you are sure you will not waste your time over other useless apps, download the Ramadan Legacy app available both on the AppStore and PlayStore. It is super amazing. I've used it during Ramadan in the past two years and I rate it 5-stars. It helps you track down all the progress you are making and there's so much more! The 2017 version of the app will be available in a few days and their team sent me a mail claiming to have a new planner and so many new features, yippee! I'm excited! And last but not least, the others. Don't miss your suhoor(pre-dawn meal). Don't overeat at Iftar. Break the fast with dates or water. Stay up at night for some extra prayers (taraweeh). Try getting your to-do's done right after fajr prayers if possible. Plan things around salah times. Don't associate Ramadan with hunger and thirst. Don't sleep all day long. Make it an amazing spiritual experience. Fast is not just for your stomachs but for your tongues, ears ,eyes and the entire self. And try involving in every bit of good possible. Yeah! I guess that's all I have got to share with you right now. Share in the comments below your ideas and tips too! Follow me on adilamkarol.wordpress.com for more! May Allah (SWT) make us of those who take full benefit of this blessed month ahead! ❤️