#none of these people are doctors so they'd probably have to take your human to one

[ishipgenfics]

Happy STS! But oh no! One of your characters has been stabbed! What chaos does this bring about? Who's been stabbed, who did the stabbing, who yanks the sword out without thinking, etc.? ♥️

Oh this is a fun one!

Birch(Your Human): Gets stabbed. It is a teenager with no experience in self-defense, if someone is trying to stab it with any degree of skill, they are almost certainly going to succeed. Plus it has bad experience with needles, so it might end up freezing up.

Rhy'cd(You): Panics. Panic panics panics. Someone tells them not to pull the sword out and they go, "Well then how long do we leave it in?Forever?! Besides, maybe you can pull them out for humans." She is informed that you in fact cannot, and starts panicking even harder. Eventually has to be dragged out of the room because her pacing around asking questions constantly is doing more harm then good.

Your pilot: Holds its hand. They're awkward and uncomfortable at first, people lash out when they are hurt and they know how dangerous humans can be, but all it is doing is screaming. So they whisper softly to it, and hold its hand as tight as they can, and hope everything will be alright.

Your engineer: This is not her job. She doesn't know how to do this. She focuses her energy on fighting off whoever stabbed them, on getting them off her ship. Later, she thinks something might be wrong with her, that the instinct to try and go help didn't even occur to her. She is wrong, but she will think it anyway.

Your scientist: It knows how this works. Its species might not have blood, but lots of others do, and its been doing research. Makes itself burn bright bright bright and cauterizes the wound after Rhy'cd pulls it out in a panic. It feels good about itself for being able to do something useful.

Bonus!(characters that have not yet been introduced)--

Alex: Alex is that kid who's really sure he knows a lot about first aid. He's just so sure that he knows what he would do if he got stabbed, but in reality he watched like two Red Cross videos and took a CPR course and that is the extent of his knowledge. He really thinks he's being helpful. He is not.

Ciralarus: I think Ciralarus probably has some actual medical experience. At the very least she's helped with kids before, so she knows how to tie up wounds and what to do in an emergency situation. She'd probably be the most helpful out of anyone.

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

M*A*S*H 4077 & DND

guess who started their m*a*s*h rewatch around the same time they've gotten into d&d and now cannot stop thinking about the utter chaos and hyjinks of The Gang trying to play a campaign. it starts with none of them really super into fantasy roleplay, but they're all So Fucking Bored they might as well play to have something to do.

it started off imaging just what role they'd each play, but now I couldn't stop myself from imaging each person's race, class, AND, just for fun, the dice they'd use!

hawkeye: isn't that bothered about races, probably either an elf or just a human. class is paladin, relating the paladin's 'call for good' something like the oath doctors take to always help and heal patients, no matter what (and, let's be honest, probably feeds into his egotistical nature at being a naturally skilled surgeon, as if he was 'called'). cannot be Asked to care about ability scores (only to deeply regret it when he's nearly off'd the first battle) except for pouring most of his points into charisma. mostly likely of the party to Fuck his way out of a confrontation (no matter the other's gender #bihawkrights). spends most of the campaign messing around and forgetting what his spells are, but when the party hits a serious battle, is the first to throw himself in and use any spells to help his friends before himself. originally wasn't that interested in the game, but overtime becomes one of the ones who gets really into it, screaming across the board at ppl's bad roles and cheering & trying to pick ppl up in glee when they win. dice of choice:

(just the most wack-ass coloured dice I could find, metaphor for the inside of his brain (also this way he can tell if anyone tries to conceal any as theirs)).

radar: while interested in the fantasy stuff (being a comic reader), was a little intimidated with all the math & rules involved until hawkeye and bj convince him. part of me thinks he could be a halfling or dwarf, but then I think he might enjoy being a humanoid creature like a minotaur (farm boy) or a satyr bc of his love of animals. class is bard, where he carries/plays the drum. enjoys and gets really into the story, but is always flummoxed when it comes to the battles, asking what everyone else thinks his character should do (only for everyone to yell back several different answers). always needs a couple of seconds of mental math to add his modifier to dice rolls (me too radar) but when the party comes across a riddle or puzzle, is usually the first to figure it out. keeps trying to pick up small creatures to put them in his sack. is not allowed to talk while people make their roles bc of too many times where he's predicted the number before they can read the dice (the moment of hawkeye's saving role during a Big Bad battle was kind of ruined when radar elatedly jumped up at the nat20 before the dice even left hawk's hand). dice of choice:

(cute little puppers!)

margaret: at first is staunchly against it, calling it childs' play, but eventually is worn down by hawk & bj and is also so bored, she gives in. thought she might be an elf, but in the end chooses genasi, picking fire power. chooses the fighter class, leaving hawkeye to make a remark that gets a dice thrown at his head. doesn't really get super into the meta of the game or the story (often tells the dm to get on with it and cut to the action) but does love to play, where it overtime becomes a good outlet for anger ('the demon tries to approach you, margaret what do you-' 'I SLICE OFF HIS KNEECAPS WITH MY BATTLEAXE!'). is a good player until the roles don't go her way ('you only rolled a 10, so your attack doesn't hit-' 'SCREW YOU! KLINGER GIVE ME YOUR 18 ROLE!'). is pretending like she isn't having fun but everyone can see through her. dice of choice:

(these seemed the most like margaret, elegant but not too girly).

henry: is also peer-pressured into joining. picks barbarian class so he doesn't have to think about spells. tries to pick human bc all the other races were 'too complicated' but got told due to his class, he has to pick a more built character like an orc, so an orc he ends up being. but he's bad at it, often either trying to escape a battle or by being a peacemaker, trying to persuade the monster out of battle but with such a low charisma score, it usually ends up with him getting clonked over the head and margaret jumping in before he's killed. keeps trying to give his gold to poor peasants they meet along the way. doesn't understand any of the mechanics. rolls so many nat1's that nobody will switch dice with him anymore, thinking his are cursed. the game is often more stressful for him then not, but he enjoys the time with his friends. dice of choice:

(I dunno, for some reason when I think of henry I think of a dark orange/amber).

potter: prolongs joining, thinking he's too old for it, but is also peer-pressured and eventually caves, thinking it'll be good for morale. chooses dwarf and for his class to be an old wizard. doesn't understand half the rules, spends most of the time muttering under his breath as he goes over the manual, radar (un)helpfully leaning in beside him to explain. but once he gets the hang of it is a good team member; is the only other person besides margaret to take the hints and puzzles seriously and without him (+her) the party would probably be making circles lost in some boundless woods somewhere. cheers his teammates on when they make a high roll or powerful move and only occasionally has outbursts ('well colonial sir, you need a 16 or higher to cast-' 'MULE FRITTERS! I said cast magic missile and that's an order!!!"). dice of choice:

(same thing - when I think of potter, I think a dark blue).

charles: the last of the group to get into it. completely refused and repeated that 'he was far too smart for that kids' stuff' and everyone was wasting their time. but when someone had to dip out of the campaign last minute to deal with a medical thing, charles was brought in as filler with the promise of a day's R&R. at first I thought high elf, but switched to dragonborne, of the noble variety of course. chooses sorcerer (blessed with some innate magic, as his ego prefers). constantly complains about the needless complexity of the rules and why bother having ability scores when it's the modifier that counts???? is always arguing with the dm on his rolls. uses up half of his turns to use mage hand to steal hawkeye's things or cast ray of sickness on him when he's being annoying - but, when it comes down to it, is one of the more strategic players and has gotten them out of many sticky situations. like margaret, is pretending he isn't having fun, but isn't immune to jumping up with the others over a saving nat20 role, at one time even excitedly picking up a confused radar. in the end, swallows his pride to shyly ask if he can join the party finally ('you know, it'll, uh..it will give me something to do during those boring intervals, and clearly this group needs all the brains it can get..' '..charles, you wanna come play with us?' 'well, if I must..'). dice of choice:

(the snootiest of dice, a pure gold colour).

mulcahy: also initially intimidated by the mechanics, but is happy to play a game with his friends. a possible half-elf or maybe a wise owlin. cleric, obviously. gets invested in the storyline, often applauding the dm's story or asking 'what happens next???" only to be told to wait till the next meet. one of the few who has actual healing spells and probably the only reason everyone didn't die in their first battle. a nerd who enjoys solving the puzzles. actually gets into the lore and one time had a deep, 2 hr conversation with radar & hawkeye about the disenfranchisement of some of the races and the hierarchy of the class/rule structure within the fantasy realm, and how it relates to theirs. the next day, radar came to his tent to show him a little sketch he did of his character in cleric robes, shrugging it off, but mulcahy loved it so much he pinned it up on his tent walls. dice of choice:

(inspired by one of my favourite mulcahy lines, when he's talking about missing holding services in real churches - 'I am rather fond of stained glass', which I always think of whenever I see stained windows. tried to pick the ones that emulated the colours best (also would've liked maybe a light, forest green colour; it just feels mulcahy-esque to me).

klinger: one of the first to join bc what else what he gunna do but sit in his tent, sewing up pantyhose? rogue class, of course, relating to the 'urchin' background. changeling race, so that way with his class he can hide at any moment, and also, as he says, 'can perfectly match his outfit no matter what he looks like!' tries to follow the storyline but doesn't have the attention span for it, half the time guessing the wrong answer to any clue or puzzle (will come and poke the dm awake in the middle of the night with his patrol gun, claiming to have figured it out). second after hawkeye to try and Fuck his way out of a situation. cannot do math to save his life, making margaret often rip his dice away from him to add it herself. will gang up with hawkeye to use his pickpocket skill on charles. resourceful enough to have tricked the villains multiple times and gotten away with it but will also roll to try and kick the villain in the nuts to see what happens. dice of choice:

(these just screamed klinger to me; I like the dark, 'masculine' colour contrasted with with the colourful flowers).

bj: thought I missed him? well, I saved the best for last bc bj...is the dm! ha ha! no one really in particular stood out, but after thinking on it, he seems like the best fit. first, I was thinking of the episode 'the kids' where he gets really into the story he's telling, full of voices and sound affects and all. and secondly, our kindly mustacheo'd doctor loves Mind Games and pranks - what better way then stringing his friends along into one big, zigzag puzzle? bj loves nothing more then having his friends on the edge of their seats, only to pull out a bad guy the group thought they got rid of months ago, glee in his eyes watching them combust into screaming and table flipping. getting a thrill during off hours, hearing hawkeye & charles hastily whisper across bunks to each other on the campaign thinking he can't hear them, or getting shaken awake by margaret in the middle of the night, demanding answers. he spends hours planning out the campaigns in the tent (and finding new places to hide his papers from hawkeye), sometimes writing peg about it and occasionally - if the timing of the mail is right - using her suggestions she writes back. but mostly, bj just loves watching his friends have a good time - cheering each other on and hollering with each battle won, feeling proud of them for everything accomplished (when he doesn't have to babysit hawkeye & charles from casting spells on each other, trying to answer radar's 49th question on how rolls work, or keep margaret from solo fighting the demon fifteen levels above her). dice of choice:

(idk, these just feel 'bj hunnicutt' to me).

other camp members: - frank: was only let in Once after margaret begged hawk & bj, saying it was only fair. initially picked human bc 'they're clearly the purest and most civilized race!!' (causing eyerolls), quit thirty minutes in after being told he couldn't be a fighter 'cause they already had margaret and that he couldn't just 'set all his abilities to 20', calling them all nerds and angrily throwing a d20, only for it to bounce back on the tent beam and hit him in the eye. - some of the nurses have occasionally filled in, but otherwise don't play outside of margaret (most of their time was filled up with hawkeye using his character to flirt with theirs). one time nurse kellye filled in; she played a cute little halfling druid, and her and radar teamed up to help rescue all the forest animals, much to the groups chagrin. - zale & igor: permanently banned. both tried to eat the dice on a dare.

campaigns are held twice a month in the swamp, with drinks and stale pretzels to go around. use to sometimes go all night but after one too many nights of clambering arguments over each other's rolls, the whole camp banded together to force a curfew. while the game only exists within the swamp's quarters, they'll once and a while jokingly call each other by their character's names (and if you're margaret, one time accidentally using it to call hawkeye to surgery, which he now never lets her live down). during the last campaign of the story, radar pulls out another drawing he did - this time of everyone's characters, standing valiantly over the dragon they slayed. it now has a place of honour hung in the swamp.

[spoonyglitteraunt]

Sooooo.

I just checked something on mobile, and that means having to deal with the ads which, sure ok I guess. Usually I either ignore them, or grumble to myself if they are particularly teeth grindy like the diet ads. Because really, Tumblr? Can we just not? Can we just yeet these and their fatphobic bullshit into the nearest trashfire? Just sell me gadgets and gizmos aplenty or something.

So normally I would have zero inclination to share one of these. The less seen of them the better. But I'll make an exception this once. Because, well.

Tumblr, I have questions.

I just...

Ignoring the bullshittery of the topic with the barely legible 'meal plans" that I'm sure are to die for. (As in they'd kill you if you actually followed them for real.) What in the seven fandom hells even IS this. 😂

Just look at that thing and let it sink in for a second.

So you start with the 45 to 55s.

Weird place to start, but ok. You get dude who looks like he ran away from a conan the barbarian game with a woman where the only thing they did to make her look "older" was to give her sort of vaguely grey hair. Has the designer ever seen a woman in their 40's early 50's? Or seen any humans in that age range? Any humans at all even? That bicep is bigger than her whole head. Also why are they naked? And why are they the only ones that look computergame rendered compared to the more "photorealistic" ones next to them?

Not to mention none of these "people" look particularly happy or excited about this challenge they are trying to sell you. What is the message here? Take our challenge and be so miserable you need naked hugging times in space to recover? I mean, that's more honest than most diet ads then.

So we move onto the 25 to 33 bracket.

Weird age to cut it off at, but sure. I guess this age group can expect to suddenly feel the urge to have "supportive Bro time" as part of their need to recover from the hells of depriving the body of natural energy sources. But look at that manly support. Look at the nuzzling, I mean the smelling of eachother's manly musk, I mean the bros will be bros solidarity with definitely no subtext as displayed on the subtext site.

On to the 33 to 44 aged.

I guess if you are 33 you can pick your fighters meal plans. But not if you're 44 or 45 then you only get ONE! This one is the most ambiguous and thus boring. Is it a particularly muscly lady, a msclady if you will, or just a well hidden second dude? Or could they actually have tried to appeal to beyond the gender binary, quickly confused themselves, and then just went meh throw in some muscles hide the head and it will probably be fine. We'll never know. So let's put this down as ambiguous snuggles and hope that dude goes to see a doctor for whatever AI art went wrong with that arm.

Now all of that was vaguely nonsensical and stupid, but nothing that would compel me to share. No that's for our next contestants age groups.

So, my 55+ dudes. No ladies mind, the only feminine presenting people allowed in this challenge need to be between 45 to 55, maybe 33+. The rest of you ladies get to escape the challenge and find your own reasons to do some sad naked cuddling.

But my 55+ dudes, you get the chance, nay the unexplainably privilege of tenderly embracing a lion.

Was the lion rewarded to him by the challenge as a comfort animal? Was he already in a committed partnership with the lion? Was the lion just nearby and got caught up in a moment of emotion? And what has any of this to do with diets? Who knows? Certainly not me that's for sure. But our totally real and not badly AI photoshopped apex predator is clearly making the most of snuggling up to the muscly 55+ dude who incidentally looks younger than the two previous categories. Conclusion: cuddling lions in your time of need may in fact be the source of anti aging. Let's all not try this at home.

And then we arrive at the whippersnappers amongst the lineup of tender manly dudes.

You get to gently kiss a panther on the head. As one does with an apex predator, obviously. Funny though how there are more feline paramours than any other category what with the ambiguous third. So furry is clearly the ultimate relationship dynamic for sad naked cuddling in the aftermath of their product. Maybe they should have given them all cats then. Although I must say the panther seems far less pleased to be used for comfort than the lion did. Maybe they didn't feel photogenic that day. Maybe it's a relationship on the rocks. Maybe they were not paid enough to deal with this shit. Neither were we, my friend. Neither were we.

So, as I said. Tumblr, I got questions.

But I don't suspect you have any answers.

[boyakishantriage]

"AHHHHH"

The human was running around, the other humans had just gotten off the ship as she ran around arms flailing as the wildlife chased after her. Running up a tree, one of the humans threw her a weapon. Still screaming, she began firing down the tree. The shotgun began letting pellets, pack animals running off as she began firing at what seemed to be snakes.

"AHHHHH VEGE SNAKES!"

"Ellie! WHAT THE FUCK?"

"I found a shiny rock." She stated, tossing it to her friend as she dragged her into the ship.

"ELLIE. WE'RE TRYING TO-"

She reloaded the gun. Accidentally firing the trigger, pellets just barely missing the crew.

"Just don't kill anyone."

"Oh, I'm sorry. But next-"

She sat in the captain's office. Again. With the broken armed Quack flaring at the human.

"So. You jumped off the ship for a shiny rock, got chased by a pack animal and broke a crewmembers arm for taking a rock."

"SHINY ROCK. but yes."

"... How do you have three doctorates?"

"Being smart has never stopped me from being stupid."

The captain ultimately let me go. Couldn't really charge me for being impulsive.

OOH WHAT'S THAT?

The human then ran off to follow the escort group, grabbing the shotgun off her friend as she ran after the group.

"... Are all humans like this?"

"Depends on the day, sugar level, gender..."

"Forget about it."

"Tastes like tomato."

"... What."

I looked at the rhino looking alien.

"I said. It tastes like- Oh look a bear."

"... What?"

A large black blob, ignoring the group as the woman began climbing trees. Managing to grab onto some fruit before falling into the ground.

"HUMAN-"

"Hey. I'm fine. No fall damage."

"what??"

"the gravity's less here."

"OH MY GOD. LOOK AT WHAT THE MOMMA KITTY GAVE ME!"

The expedition group came back with several logs of caffine, a tree trunk the human had dumped all the samples in and a young animal.

"..."

"I don't know either."

"It's been a day."

"4 hours actually."

"I thought it was 2?"

"no it's four."

"Oh right."

Most of the none human crew watched, mostly in awe as the humans set up camp, noted the local flora and fauna as well as a small pen for the animals to go into since most of the humans were either busy or similar. In four hours. Four hours since the first expedition team was sent out, the humans had organised, set up and now examined samples from the planet.

The captain sat down. For the first time in a long time. He was surprised. Humans were peculiar on the ship, having stripped the excess, rigged his ship to go much faster than it should've and turning mining weapons in actual weapons when pirates attacked. And even then, they'd bashed the pirates with everything and anything. 50 humans, 50 humans had very precariously ran circles around his crew. And apparently this was a random filler group.

"y'know. I thought it was obvious when I say most of these people are like. The best of the best right?"

"... Excuse me?"

"so. The UEN is kinda slow, I called a bunch of my friends and then they called their friends and I then dragged them all to space because the diplomat said that I couldn't find a group before he'd finish dinner. I got my friends on flights by lunch. FUCK THAT POSHO!"

". Are you insane."

"yes."

" ... Is this species insane?"

"Probably?"

"... Is this like. Standard in your species?"

"Kinda. We're a lot more. Relaxed. Not as fast, usually when we explore we just kinda. Fuck around and find out."

" Are you-"

"Yes.

[enhasfever]

𝐸𝑁𝐻𝑌𝑃𝐸𝑁 𝐴𝑆 𝐷𝐼𝑆𝑁𝐸𝑌 𝑃𝑅𝐼𝑁𝐶𝐸𝑆𝑆𝐸𝑆

➪ pairing: none

➪ genre(s): crack

➪ tw: a few swears

➪ wc: 0.7k

➪ in which your local disney enthusiast assigns a disney princess to each enhypen boy. c:

➪ heeseung — tiana (princess and the frog)

he'd definitely be unfortunate enough to have to kiss a frog

and also turn into one

then have to kiss it again in order to turn human once more

has rich friends like jay who can spoil them with nice things but would 100% still choose to eat ramen every night

has goals and is that independent bitch everyone strives to be

girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep ✨

➪ jay — aurora (sleeping beauty)

three words: predebut sleeping pics.

that's all

okay not really shush let me try to be funny

but fr he would honestly rather sleep than deal with life and people

you can't be disappointed in your dreams 😌

or maybe you can idk

he's probably screaming in his dreams at the people who cause him a great deal of stress irl

he's too busy trying to strategize how he's gonna get up to pee without waking himself up too much to get cursed

he just doesn't have time for it 😤

➪ jake — merida (brave)

okay so i couldn't think of an australian princess so he gets a scottish accent

it's the next best thing c:

avid hater of men

started an anti-man club featuring the bears that were once his family members

would literally rather fight a giant, human eating bear than get married

also he's got a bow & arrow- how much more badass can you get?

would launch arrows at anyone who came within a foot of his ramen stash

➪ sunghoon — elsa (frozen)

i think we all saw this one coming

locked himself in his room not because of his ice powers ,,

but because he was afraid that his good looks would kill everyone around him

and also he just doesn't wanna share his magic with some snot nosed younger sibling

(looking at you riki)

olaf is HIS bestie!! 🤬

would actually allow his sibling to marry someone they'd just met so he could take their room too

he'd probably turn it into an ice rink for himself

➪ sunoo — rapunzel (tangled)

if anyone is gonna knock the soul out of someone with a frying pan, it's this guy

he'd also 100% grow his hair out so he could swing around from it like tarzan

and living in isolation in a tower away from the fear of having to become riki's floor mop ??

sign him tf up

would also hoard a ton of mint choco foods up there with him to repel anyone who tried to come rescue him

he doesn't need rescued, he has 25 feet of hair! he's practically unstoppable

➪ jungwon — moana (moana)

he's literally the only person in existence who would successfully avoid getting absolutely cooked by a lava monster simply by singing to it

everyone's whipped for him ✋🏻

he may not be able to keep his plants alive but you better believe that he'll preserve a chicken with an IQ of a peanut for as long as he lives

and not to brag or anything ,,

but he would totally annihilate the coconut men that came to attack him at sea

also he'd probably just look fabulous in a grass skirt

he'd definitely pull off that island girl vibe 🌺🏝

➪ niki — vanellope (wreck-it ralph)

i am an avid believer that vanellope IS a disney princess and you can argue with the wall if you disagree

he's got that younger sibling energy that she exudes and if you don't see him in her then you're blind

i'm making your eye doctor appointment rn as you read this

he would absolutely befriend a big scary man with giant hulk hands just for the fun of it

i can also see him as a fugitive in a land full of candy and sweets

he probably accidentally ate one of the candy villagers bc he just couldn't help himself

he'd also drive like a maniac i can just feel it

© enhasfever

[whatsarasaid]

title: the interview. fandom: control. rating: general audiences. word count: approx. 1100. characters: dr. casper darling, jesse faden, dylan faden.

Ordinary, Maine.

Darling loved it. The name. It was overly on-the-nose, bringing him a strange childish delight. The only thing that could have made it better was if it were Wisconsin or something. Cheese curds and cows and Midwest monotony would have further sharpened the contrast.

Though, judging by the sleepiness, this particular New England town wasn’t too far off. The Federal-style architecture gave it a sense of primness it had no right to possess. The dilapidated gas station on the corner certainly took away from the red brick and cream eaves. Somewhat Idyllic But Mostly Boring Until Very Recently, MI, he renamed it in his head. If the place still wanted to be literal with its naming conventions, things would have to change.

Darling chunked open the metal door of the school, case files and morning coffee in hand. Their makeshift headquarters was comprised of hijacked teachers’ desks and heavy equipment crates. Personnel was busy scribbling and typing, diligently working to solve. Twenty-four hours straight of swabbing surfaces, collecting samples, and snapping pictures, but the question of what caused the AWE remained unanswered.

Time to pick through the human data.

Primary sources were rich with information, responding to direct questions with direct answers. The quantitative—statistics, algorithms—gave scientific discovery validity and generalizability. But it was through the qualitative—observation, interviews—that theories were born. Unfortunately, every adult in Ordinary up and vanished rapture-style, meaning all witnesses were under sixteen. And likely, new orphans.

Darling knew absolutely nothing about children, his work was his offspring, but he knew the devastation an AWE could bring. He caught sight of the kids through the gym windows yesterday. They were sitting on rows of military cots with their khaki blankets and emergency Dopp kits, waiting until they could be questioned by the FBC and processed by the Office of Children and Family Services. None of their personal belongings could be released until they had been screened for possible Altered Items or OOPs.

These interviews would be undoubtedly bleak.

The first subjects were the Faden siblings. An agent reported they’d began frantically babbling about a landfill the moment the FBC showed up at their door and so were moved to the front of the line.

Follow the strangeness.

That was how this worked.

Darling frowned at his lab coat, wrinkled from the drive. White coats held power. Sometimes inciting trust, but other times ire. Didn’t most people like doctors? Hopefully, the children would. Even if he was the research kind. He straightened his bowtie.

He found the Fadens in the kindergarten classroom, where they'd been told to wait. They weren’t as young as he thought they'd be, but what had he expected? Infants? He needed to brush up on his human development. They sat in primary-colored bean bags. The younger, the boy, was staring out a window, picking at the bag’s seams. The older, the girl, was stiff beside him, sharp eyes clicking to Darling when he walked in.

Darling gave them what he considered to be his most unoffending smile.

The girl frowned.

Darling scanned for a chair but found somebody had robbed the teacher’s desk of its adult-sized one. He resorted to dragging a miniature plastic stool in front of the kids and crunching himself onto it, knees almost to his chest, coffee and case files an awkward pile in his lap. “Good morning. I lead the scientists studying your home. I hear you have some interesting information for me.”

The boy turned and blinked at him with owlish eyes.

It was the girl who spoke first, her voice quiet but resolute. Darling liked the cut of her jib. “We know what caused everything. We found a slide projector in the dump, after it got bigger.”

"The dump got bigger?"

"Yeah, bigger but the same. Deeper?"

Darling couldn’t put his coffee down fast enough. He ruffled in his chest coat pocket for a pen and scooched the stool closer, inciting two high-pitched squeals from the rubber-knobbed legs, eager to take notes. Silly of him to not bring a tape recorder. “Mm-hm, yes, go on.”

The girl eyed him, cagey again, “Each slide took us to, um, different places. The places weren’t here.”

"'Here' as in Ordinary?"

“No. Earth.”

Likely other dimensions. “How did that work?"

"We'd put in a slide, project it onto a wall, and just go through."

Definitely other dimensions. "Can you describe these other places?"

"They were all really weird. Some were scary."

The boy interrupted, “Do you know where our parents are?”

The girl snapped her mouth shut and wrinkled her nose, looking as if she were forcing back the sudden sting of tears.

“No,” Darling said gently. As he noted earlier: bleak. “I don’t. But that’s the thing about the scientific process: it can lead to all sorts of discoveries. Maybe even the location of your parents. I can’t make any promises, though.”

The boy nodded solemnly, “Tom thought the Not-Mother took them.”

Darling’s mind reeled as he scribbled notes. 'Not-Mother' had been mentioned in the police reports. Was it an entity they found through the alternate dimensions in the slide projector? Their nickname for something else? What motives did it have in taking the adults? If any? Dear God, so many questions all at once, branching and vining in a thousand directions.

"Where's Tom? In the gym? I'd like to speak with him, too."

The children exchanged looks but said nothing.

Darling peeked at his wristwatch. They would need more than their scheduled fifteen minutes. Much more. He needed to call Trench and deploy a team to the local landfill ASAP. Before anyone else got sucked into a different dimension and met this ‘Not-Mother.’ They should probably just transport the whole site to the Oldest House for safety since it evidently...shifts. What an endeavor. He’d have to lead that. Someone else—a child psychologist, probably—should finish interviewing the kids. They'd better know how to navigate the delicacies of their experience while retrieving the needed information.

As if on cue, the boy’s stomach warbled a growl. Some positive reinforcement might be in order before Darling subjected them to a marathon of questions. A Paranatural Aptitude Assessment would be wise, too. He had a feeling he’d be getting to know the Fadens quite well.

Darling clapped the file shut, “I haven’t had breakfast yet. Have you?”

The children shook their heads no.

“Let’s go get some cereal,” he said, gathering his pile and inelegantly pulling himself up from the stool, “Or muffins. Do you like muffins?"

The boy followed.

The girl did not.

“Come on,” he called to her as he jerked his head toward the door, “After we eat, I'm going to introduce you to more people who can help. You’ll be having lots more talks with them.”

She finally trailed after.

But not without giving him one final glance.

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

House, M.D. Fanfic (12/?)

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to leave a note on my story.  I hope you continue to enjoy my rewrite of particular scenes and episodes with regards to Huddy. As always, I don't own House. If I did, Lisa Edelstein would have been offered the world to stay and be a major part of season 8.

As stated in previous chapters, the story follows the big picture laid out on the show, but with my own take on things. I do sometimes use dialogue from episodes... but there are slight changes and adaptations, as well as additions to fit what I need. We just have to grit our teeth and bear this revisit of the Tritter era. I'm not sure if I hated him or Vogler more... but I wanted to kill both.

Thanks to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for reading my ideas and providing positive feedback! I love feedback... good, bad or ugly. Seriously. It's like my Vicodin. So please enable me! Enjoy!

xxxxx

"I need a script for Vicodin."

Cuddy looked up from the medical journal she was reading. "How many days do you have left?"

"I can probably get through the next few minutes or so."

She was honestly surprised he was there. After everything that had happened between them, she knew how hard it must have been for him to come to her and ask. "You're coming to me, which means your lackeys actually stood up to you. I'm impressed, good for them," she stood and moved to her desk.

"Yes, their cowardice is inspiring."

"You should be thanking them. If they caved, it would give the cops evidence that you intimidated underlings to feed your addiction," she stated, pulling out her prescription pad from her desk.

"I hate writing thank you notes. Would it be weird if I asked Cameron to write them?" He watched as she grabbed a pen. "You're hooking me up?" That was surprising, considering everything between them. He'd come to her as a very last resort, but he had never expected her to actually give him a script.

"Unfortunately if I cut you off, it would give the cops evidence that you don't really need the pain medicine."

"I knew that cleavage was a smoke screen! You're a genius."

She watched as he reached for the paper, and had trouble lifting his arm. Pulling it just out of his reach, she commented, "You can't lift your arm."

"You can't pee standing up. Gimme."

"You've been doing physio? Maybe you pulled something?"

"Yeah, been training for Pants Off Dance Off. Give me the script."

"Your shoulder problem isn't physical. What's new? What's different? Any big changes in your life recently? Fight with the wife, maybe?"

"Right, my shoulder hurts because you stopped having sex with me. It's your fault. Good thing you're hooking me up with the good stuff."

She was quiet for a moment. That dig at her had hurt a little more than she'd expected. "It's good. It means that your shoulder is a human being. It's a start."

He just stared at her. Maybe it really was because they'd stopped sleeping together. He wouldn't let himself say that they broke up... they hadn't been together to begin with. It had all been based on sex because she wanted a baby. That option was no longer on the table, so there was no reason to keep seeing each other.

"I'm right, right?"

"Yeah. Just not about me," he said, turning to leave after her words gave him an epiphany about his patient. He turned a moment later and snatched the paper from her fingers before leaving for good.

xxxxx

The mobile red dot that was distracting her benefactors caused her to stand. "Excuse me. I have a toddler to put in time out," she said, heading for the door. More like she had a doctor she wanted to kill. "House!" She barked firmly, holding her hands out to the side in a 'what the hell' gesture.

"Need my pills!"

She rolled her eyes. "Right, and there was no other way to get my attention. Knocking on the door would never work."

He shrugged. "If I knocked on the door, I'd be forced to talk to your benefactors. I don't think you really want that," he smirked. Which was true... he didn't have the best history at schmoozing anyone. "If you'd given them to me when I asked half an hour ago, I wouldn't have had to interrupt your meeting."

"It wasn't time for a dose half an hour ago," she stated, moving to the clinic pharmacy and asking for his pills. Taking them, she offered the cup with a single pill to him.

"You seem to be missing the rest of the bottle."

She gave a smile. "No more free floating prescriptions.... reasonable doses at reasonable times."

He just stared at her. Was she serious? "Who decides what is reasonable?"

"The only doctor in this building who is willing to write you a script for pain meds," she answered smugly, shaking the cup at him.

He scowled, but took the cup. "You spent the last six months trying to have a baby with me. Are you sure you're really the best judge of what's reasonable?"

She froze slightly at his words, but simply kept walking back toward her office. "Reasonable doses," she repeated back to him before opening the door.

He watched the door close behind her before heaving a sigh and taking the pill she given him. It was better than nothing.

xxxxx

She walked into the empty room she had allowed Detective Tritter to occupy to look through the hospital files that she had supplied only after he had given her a court order. "Seems like a waste of taxpayer dollars. You should be out arresting real criminals."

"I'm on vacation this week. And Dr. House is a real criminal."

"He's not a Colombian drug lord, he's a pain patient. And you're not going to find anything."

He smirked smugly. "I've found plenty."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes. "You act like you're doing the world a huge favor, protecting everyone from House, but who protects the world from you?" She asked him then. "House may be an ass, but you're a bully. You've bullied my head of oncology to quit, my entire hospital staff is afraid to do... anything, really. He's probably the world's biggest jerk, but there's always a reason behind it. But you... you're going after innocent people because you've got a grudge against one person."

"Not one of you are innocent!" Tritter responded angrily. "Not one of you have told me the truth about him!"

Cuddy stood her ground, toeing the line with him. "Where's your proof? Not a single person is going to say anything against him to you," she responded confidently.

Tritter studied her. "I don't expect it from Dr. Cameron... or from you. Like I told her, women don't give up the men they're in love with. And for whatever reason, both of you are a little in love with him... maybe even a lot in love with him. I don't expect it from Dr. Foreman... he isn't a fan of police officers. But Dr. Chase or Dr. Wilson? One of them will flip. Or someone else will. Or Dr. House will do something every addict does. Eventually I will get what I want. And then everyone who lied to me is going down with Dr. House."

Cuddy just stared daggers at him, still more than capable and more than willing to square off with him. "Even if Dr. House has a problem... it's a medical problem. One that should be dealt with by doctors, not police detectives with a grudge."

"Except that none of you are dealing with it!"

"You don't know that, because you're not a doctor! You're a bully with a badge!"

Tritter clenched his jaw for a moment, working the nicotine gum around in his mouth. "He's going to jail. Like I said, I always get what I want." With that, he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and left.

(Gif done by @gabrielokun and I will remove it if they ask. I just didn't know how to reblog their original post onto my story because it fit)

[x688plsloveme]

Companions plus faction leaders see get Sole get gravely injured and while trying to help them, they try to walk it off and continue the fight

Cait: One moment, both Cait and Sole were having the time of their lives, decimating supermutants. The next, Sole was screaming while a mutant dog tore up their arm. Cait bashed the dog's head in without a moment's hesitation. She was about to go back into the fight when she saw Sole trying to get up and grab their weapon. "Oh, no you don't! Sit back down Sole!" Sole said that they were perfectly capable of fighting, but Cait wasn't having it. She forced Sole to stay seated, then threatened them to stay or else. Sole begrudgingly allowed Cait to fix them up. After she was done, she pointed a finger at Sole and told them that if they worried her like that again, she'd kill them herself.

Codsworth: Codsworth honestly thought that Sole was invincible before he saw them get torn up by a feral ghoul. He told Sole that they should heal themselves while he takes care of the remaining ghouls, but Sole wasn't hearing it. They told him that they were fine and limped back into the fray. Codsworth couldn't really argue with Sole, so he made sure to take care of the toughest enemies. Ensuring that Sole would have it easier.

Curie: Curie lets out a rather loud gasp when she sees the blood blossoming on Sole's thigh while they were fighting gunners. Curie tries to treat it right away, even with Sole telling her to stop over and over again. Sole just keeps on firing their gun while Curie patches their leg up as best she can with them standing. When the last of their enemies were down, Curie properly fixes Sole's leg, not noticing their piercing stare until she glanced up. "What's the matter madam/monsieur​..?" She looks quite shocked. "You got in my way during the fight!" Curie winces and tiltes her head down. "I-I'm sorry, but you seemed to b-be in pain..." She looked up. "I just wanted to help, really!" Sole put their hand on their kind hearted companion's shoulder. "I know Curie, but next time help me when everything wanting to kill us is dead."

Danse: Sole got knocked out for a few seconds when a synth hit them with a shock baton. Danse quickly destroyed it, before turning to Sole with his brow furrowed in worry. "You okay soldier?" Sole blinked out the remaining spots in their vision. "Yeah, I'm fine." They tried to stand, but ended up falling right back down. They tried twice more before Danse commanded them to stay. Sole tried to protest, but to no avail. They couldn't disobey a direct command from someone with a higher rank than them. By the time Danse returned, Sole was able to walk, but Danse still had them lean on him. After a few minutes of silence, Sole looked up at Danse and quietly asked him, "Please don't tell Elder Maxson about my screw up today." Danse kept looking forward, but there was a small smile on his face. "Of course soldier. I know you'd do the same for me."

Deacon: Sole and Deacon were doing fairly well against a group of raiders up until Sole slipped and got shot multiple times in the stomach. Deacon turned around when he heard Sole's scream. His eyes went wide, panicking for a second before pulling himself together. He shot the raiders around them before running up to inspect Sole's injuries. They tried telling him that they're fine, but coughed up blood while doing so. "Uh-huh. I've heard some pretty bad lies in my time, but I think that one just took the cake. Sorry, but you're staying where you are." All Sole could do was groan and lean their head back while Deacon finished up. He already had stimpacks ready when he came back to Sole's spot. They ended up camping there for the night, giving Sole plenty if time to think about how lucky they are to have Deacon as a companion.

Dogmeat: Sole gets grazed by a feral's bony hands while in downtown Boston. Dogmeat thinks that Sole is seriously hurt, so he goes absolutely berserk on the rest of the ferals. 'Must protect human!' Sole ends up not being able to shoot anything because Dogmeat's in the way. He gets rewarded with a brahmin steak later on for being such a good boy.

Hancock: Hancock damn near went feral when Sole got seriously hurt by a raider. He only increased the violence when he saw that Sole was trying to help him, scared that they'd get in an even worse condition. He was not going to lose the one good thing he had left on this world. When he saw Sole's dumbfounded look after he was done, he burst out laughing. "Chalk that up to 'reasons why I'm awesome." That snapped Sole out of it. "Yeah, yeah. Just fix me up already." He did it without hesitation and helped Sole to their feet. While they were walking away, Hancock ruffled Sole's hair affectionately, and told them not to worry him so much. Sole just smirked and said that they couldn't promise anything.

MacCready: While fighting a bunch of gunners, Sole was flung across the street by a man in power armour. "Holy fu-frick!" MacCready's eyes went wide when he saw his friend sprawled across the pavement. Thankfully, Mac shot the guy between the eyes before he could deliver the final blow. MacCready was relieved when he saw Sole get up, but that was quickly replaced by fear when they suddenly clenched their abdomen. "Boss! Are you okay?" Sole grimaced more than they smiled, but they assured him that they were alright. In reality, Sole just didn't want to worry him. A few broken bones is nothing. MacCready was a bit skeptical, but trusted Sole to know what they were doing. The poor guy never learned that Sole was actually very hurt.

Nick: Nick thought he was going to overheat with how hard he was working to keep Sole safe. Sole had just gotten a nasty gash from a mirelurk a few minutes prior, and Nick didn't want them to over exert themselves with more fighting. When the last mutated crab was down, Nick went to heal Sole straight away. They tried pushing him away, insisting that they were fine. Nick stared them down and said, "Sole." That one word was enough to make Sole give in. They couldn't compete with Nick's stern voice. He had a smug smile the entire time he was fixing them up.

Piper: "OH MY GOD! BLUE!" Needless to say, Piper was downright terrified. The last thing she wanted was for her best friend to die. She didn't even wipe out the rest of the enemies, she just picked up Sole and ran. She ran until she came across Diamond City. Piper took Sole to the clinic, demanding immediate medical attention. All the stress made Piper pass out on her friend's cot after the doc fixed them up. She was just glad that Sole would be alright.

Preston: There was only one stingwing left when it stung Sole. Preston made short work of it, but the poison was spreading quickly, making Preston tear up because he didn't know how to save his friend. He soon sobered, however, when he saw Sole start to walk away. "Where do you think you're going? We need to get you help!" Sole didn't even glance back, probably because they were wincing. "Eh. I'll be okay." Preston wasn't going to let them have their way. He ran up to them, and without warning, hefted Sole over his shoulder. He ran all the way to the nearest settlement, even with Sole demanding he put them down.

Strong: He let Sole get back up and continue to fight after they got hurt by some mutants. He would've thought them weak if they hadn't. Strong did go on ahead to take the brunt of the fire, so that Sole wouldn't die of course. Then who would help him find the milk of human kindness?

X6-88: X6 made a disapproving sound when he saw that Sole had been incapacitated by a stray bullet or four.vHe obliterated the remaining enemies before lifting Sole up bridal style. They asked him what in the world he was doing. One of his eyebrows lifting up in question was the only bit of emotion he showed. "I'm obviously taking you back to the institute to get treated." Sole started pushing against his chest, saying that they're not some damsel in distress. X6 sighed. "With all due respect sir/ma'am. Wouldn't it be better to get bullets dug out of you by sterile equipment?" Sole stopped and thought for a moment. "Holy crap, you're right. Well then, what are we waiting for?" X6 muttered a barely audible "We're waiting for you to accept the obvious answer," before calling in a teleport request.

Desdemona: She couldn't believe it. One of her best heavies knocked out on the ground. They fainted because they saw a molerat. Now Des has to make sure that none of the 'savage beats' could attack Sole. A few minutes after Desdemona was done, Sole woke up. Des wasted no time in chewing out Sole, putting emphasis on them needing to get over their molerat phobia.

Maxson: Maxson would be lying if he said that he wasn't scared shitless. What with Sole bleeding on the ground, and him being the only one who could fight against the rest of the gen-1 synths that infested a building near the airport. He long ago told Sole to not get up no matter what. Somehow, he destroyed all of the synths, and let the tension leave his body. Until it came back when he heard Sole's ragged breathing. He spun around and told them to hop on his back. He didn't know a thing about medicine, but people around the airport do. When he arrived, he was dead tired, but he managed a smile when the doctor that took Sole told him that that'd be alright.

Father: He was absolutely mesmerized by Sole's fighting ability. So much so, that he didn't hear Sole's warning. They had to tackle him out of the way, which made them take they blow he was about to receive. He was stunned for a moment, but when he saw that Sole was standing back up with blood running down their face he scrambled back to his feet. "Mother/Father! Let me-" Sole cut him off. "No Shuan. It's my duty as your parent to protect you. Let me." It tore him up to do so, but he obeyed. He never looked up more to his parent than at that very moment.

______________________

@conquerorofthewarriorprincess

Hope you like it! It took me a while because Tumblr deleted my original somehow.

[catboii]

┌               🎲                      ┘

     > Time to get to work!

You do alot better once you’re dosed up, but for now you’re reading through the case files several times, making sure you’ve got all the details you can. There’s no mistaking this one for an innocent. They’ve been running a slave ring, apparently they ‘had no choice’. That’s what you’re here to find out now.

You pop a couple of DXM and Alprazolam to help you chill, get rid of your inhibitions and make you not care about anything other than this for a while. You hook up your phone to the speaker system to get some music into the large empty room, then wait for one of Kain’s underlings to bring in your target. You flick through your Spotify until you decide to just put on some Human ‘Interpol’, it’s been your favourite at the moment. Not too bouncy, not too downbeat, kind of mysterious. You shut your phone behind the cleanscreen, heading into the chamber to sort out your tools.

After you hear the door click open you realise you can start to feel the drugs taking effect, you’re starting to feel sleepy, and you’re already mildly dissociating, so you head back behind the cleanscreen to grab your previously extracted Oxycodone to keep you alert. You let the other troll strap your new friend into the chair while you take it, and wait to adjust. You need to let them be alone for just long enough that they think they may be safe, anyway. Give them time to stew. 

Once you start leveling out you turn to see that it’s just the two of you now. You probably zoned out for a bit there. 

Kain always says you should wear a mask when you do this. You don’t normally, but this time you think you’ll go ahead. You already have your tail strapped up and hidden and your ears and horns have to be covered. No hints of blood colour or anything that could give any point of identity or place on the hemospectrum are allowed to be showing. Your neck must be covered just in case you had gills. Lucky for you you don’t need to wear those ridiculous goggles since you’re eyes are already blacked out; you do wear some simple eye protectors just to stop any splashback. 

You’re not allowed to use your powers either though. What a complete waste. 

The mask is just to stop blood getting in your mouth, but it covers your nose too. It doesn’t stop any smells though. You let the claws of your paws - which you are allowed to have showing, as ‘pawfoot’ trolls aren’t that uncommon - tap against the floor as you walk over to the chair, an ominous background noise. They stiffen up. You reach over to remove the blindfold, and just smile, which they can only vaguely see in your eyes. 

“Where am I? What are you going to do?” They sound scared, but you don’t have any sympathy. Couldn’t even force yourself to if you weren’t affected. 

You shrug and make a show out of testing the straps on their wrists and shins, standing back up and nodding to indicate that, no, they can’t escape. Then you pick over a couple of the tools on the trolley, taking out a simple short handled scalpel with a blade no longer than your thumb; it’s not the smallest, but still smaller than the middle sized one. You tap it against your facemask and put your other hand on their shoulder, leaning too far into their personal space. “I think you know why you’re here. And you have one-” you hold up the index finger of the hand holding the instrument, “chance to tell me everything. Everything,” you repeat, as you tap the blade against their cheek, “before I have to force it out of you.” You pause for a moment to let them think. Too long. You can see them calculating. “Because I will get it from you.” 

They laugh, clearly shaken but holding up a decent front. “I’m not going to talk. You might aswell kill me.” 

You smile, your mouth visibly turning even behind the mask. Their facade falters for a split second. “I’m not gonna kill you. I’m not an executioner. I’m here to...” you wave your hand around in a circle. “To keep you alive if anything. For as long as possible. Do you know how long, I have, to play with you?” You wait for a reply. There is none. You tilt your head curiously. “Do you know?” They realise it wasn’t a rhetorical question, shaking their head. “As long as I want. Days? Perigees? Sweeps If we don’t find out what’s going on here and it carries on.” 

“And what are you going to do to make me tell you?” You grin big behind the mask again, all fangs and venom. They slipped up. You take their chin harshly in your gloved grip and dig the blade into their cheek, making a large slice along the line of their cheekbone, pulling toward yourself. They only cry out a little before they hold it back. Once you’re happy with the mark you glance over your work proudly, wiping the blue blood from the silver surface of the scalpel off onto their sleeve. “What the fuck- is wrong with you?” 

You squint, genuinely perplexed. “We just kinda went through that? I want you to tell me what you know. And you do know something.”

“I don’t! I swear,” they breathe. It’s like they've only just realised that you’re not joking around. 

“You just said you do.” They blink a few times, going over what they said. The fact they’re thinking about it at all is a give away. Not that you had any doubts that they know absolutely everything. They open their mouth a few times, you tap the blade against your palm patiently. “If you tell me now then we can stop this whole thing. Part of my job is to make sure you can walk out of here after you’ve told us. And you can go back to living a normal life. As normal as someone like you could, anyway.” It’s a lie. They’re not going to be killed, but they will be imprisoned. All that isn’t part of your job though. 

“Alright.” Maybe you’ll be done with this sooner than you’d hoped. “It wasn’t my idea. I don’t know anything, some people come to me, they tell me they need a place to stay, I let them stay at this-” he looks down quickly, makes up a lie, “property I have. And then someone comes to pick them up. I don’t know anything else I promise.” 

“Wrong!” Your eyebrows raise as you say it; you get to have some fun then. You cover their mouth with your palm, forcing their head right back, and you slice along the underside of their jaw on one side. You’re good at missing arteries by this point, letting the blade glide gentler over the points where it looks like it could be fatal. There’s surprisingly not much blood. Nice and clean. You can see all the details of their flesh in the open wound before the blood starts to well up. 

You remember that this is actually a person, and let their face go. They cough, choking back tears, breathing heavily. “Let me guess... This is harder for you- than it is for me- right?” 

You outright giggle. “Nah, I’m having fun.” You take a pair of scissors off the tray and in one fluid motion hook the bottom of his dress shirt in the blades, then snip up to cut his shirt open. A couple of the folds get caught and make it awkward, maybe you should get these sharpened. You take a larger scalpel, the blade being nearly twice as long and wide as the first. Then you hold it to the centre of their chest, giving a slight shrug as you look right into their eyes. Your vision is blurring slightly, but the drugs in your system will sort themselves out before you’re affected badly. “You can stop this you know.” You still slice deep into their skin, as slow and excruciatingly as you can. In other situations you might have actually been having fun, but you don’t like this kind of thing. Consensual torture? Sign you the fuck up, but this is just pathetic. Having to force someone to give you a confession that you know they have. They could save themself all this hassle by just fessing up. You’ve hardly ever failed, and those few times you have the information had been doctored or they'd died somehow, so you don’t see why anyone would try and outlast you at this point. “C’mon I’m waiting. I can do this all day. I have alot of room here. And here,” you point at one of their arms, “and here,” point at a leg. “What’s it gonna be?” 

They grit their teeth, staring you down. “I’m not talking.” You groan, then overdramatically shrug. 

“Your choice. I’m not gonna pull that whole ‘I told you so’ bullshit once you do confess though. I’ll be nice if you do. I’ll bandage you up, give you some painkillers, let you lie down and sleep.” You hold up your finger like you just remembered something, “I’m not gonna let you sleep if you don’t tell me anything. I forgot that part.” You make another long, slow slice all the way down their chest. They almost scream. 

This might take a while. You hate the stubborn ones, but at least it keeps you occupied. And someone has to punish them for all the gross shit they’ve done.