#nonnie with the questions about blogs i ~associate with

[lululawrence]

x

[olderthannetfic]

I don’t know if it's appropriate on this blog but I'm just going for it. How do people make friends in fandom? How do you all manage it? I've been bouncing from fandom to fandom for more than 15 years and have been mostly lurking for the better part of those years. It has been very hard to find friends just in general because of my shyness and all this antiship/proship discourse is making it even harder to even consider putting myself out there. Everyone just seems insufferable. Even the ship and let ship crowd.

A thing I've noticed is that while the proship spaces have better attitudes towards fiction/fandom/fanfic in general there exists this weird hate boner about people with canon ships (in my personal experience, just last week I stumbled on a tweet from a self identified proship account telling people that they shouldn't read fanfic of their blorbos because they are canonically together which made me go huh) and there exists this strange superiority complex, a "you're not enlightened like me" attitude (it's very strange and especially prominent among people who identify as proship and ship the big m/m ship in fandoms of material catered towards male audiences, ik this because I was guilty of this superiority too at one point). Honestly, this "enlightenment", the hypocrisy of preaching ship and let ship but only the way I deem correct (last week I saw a big a proship account shade shippers of a specific rival ship right under their thread about how we shouldn't generalize and I think I lost brain cells) and condescending attitude of "I am not boring like you" and "You're doing fandom wrong" is one of the reasons that has turned me off those spaces more and more. I've noticed it once and can't unsee it because it all gives off this mean girl (gender neutral) energy and puts me off interacting.

On the other hand a lot of the ship and let ship spaces that prefer the canon ships tend to be very anti adjacent even if they actually practice ship and let ship (screaming and crying about sexualization of minors, throwing out phrases like porn addict around). I've seen some very strange sentiments about Europeans there (like thanks for informing me that all of us are monstrous bloodthirsty cannibals I guess) and Japan (which is ironic because it's mostly anime fandoms doing it). It doesn't make me wanna associate with them either.

--

*dying*

Nonnie, do you know how staggeringly often I get this question?

A big part of the answer is to not be a lurker. There are reasonable people out there, but they're much less visible than loud assholes, so the best way to find them is for them to find you.

Many of my closest fandom friends are people I met offline, either because they live near me or because we went to cons together. Others are people who turned up in replies on tumblr regularly. You need repeated contact that's memorable enough to recall the person as a distinct individual. I sometimes find that hard online. It really depends on frequency and them having something to say plus a good writing voice.

I know lots of people are shy or prefer to be lurkers. I get why. But you'll rarely meet anyone that way.

[rebornologist]

Hello, i love your blog, so happy to see a khr still active~ may I ask for xanxus pomegranate and milk tea? Thanks so much♡

Hii nonny! Thank you for the kind words for me and my (questionably) active blog teehee. Lots of love from me and our favourite man with rabies <3

୨୧ ⁺˳₊ Xanxus ♡ Tea Prompts ✧

୨୧ ⁺˳₊ milk tea; what are their kisses like? ✧

♡ Burning. So full of passion that it almost feels desperate, which is something that he would never ever associate with himself, but there’s a hidden, deep-seated, desperation with this man. Xanxus bears a desperation that stems from lack, loss, abandonment, and emptiness. And that makes his affections so absolutely consuming and overwhelming.

♡ He tastes almost like mala spice, and you feel numbness in your lips as he subjects them to rough, bruising kisses.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊ pomegranate tea; at what point did they know they loved their s/o? ✧

♡ The form of love that comes most naturally to him is respect for his family. He grows to develop his own understanding of what camaraderie means, and what it means for him to stand for the Vongola.

♡ He’s not the romantic type at all. He is weighed down by so much baggage and can’t stand the idea of going through the motions associated with the relationship escalator. Marriage? Oh no, he’s married to his job, married to his ambitions. Kids? He would be a terrible father and he knows that, mind you he literally went through an elaborate scheme to kill his own dad.

♡ Xanxus is an enigma to me because he both seems like he’s against marriage in general, (because his attachment wounds are massive. gaping. cavernous, perhaps.) much less a big grand wedding, but also seems the type to go through with an extremely luxurious Italian wedding as a display of wealth and power. If that's what his partner desires, he might put up with it.. as long as he doesn't actually have to do any proper socializing on his best behavior.

♡ He doesn’t recognize it as love, per se.. but he highly respects his s/o, which is uncharacteristic of him. Love for him is placing weight to their thoughts, seeking them out time and time again when he's tired of everything else, and sleeping particularly well in their presence. He knew that he was absolutely doomed when he took a moment to pause before lashing out at them, because he gave a fuck about how they would take his scathing remarks. It's not a great way to realize how much you care for someone, but good for you, Xan. S/O: 1, Xanxus: 0.

[taegimood]

Saw matcha's ask about associating you with a song! So this made me curious as to what songs you associate your moots with and why?

I may only be an anon, but I personally associate you with soft lullabies or sweet sappy love songs! Your personality is so sweet and the way you mention or talk about your moots in a lot of your posts/in a very positive light reminds me of love songs

NONNIE I’M GONNA RESPECTFULLY GIVE YOU A BIG FAT SMOOCH

i’m literally combusting why do i just forget that like.. i exist in other people’s minds??? that people literally think about me ??? lmao it’s givinggg trauma 🤪 y’all are really hitting me w the existential awareness tonight why are you so sweet and cute

but fr i’m a musician and music is such a core part of me so to hear that people associate me with certain songs touches my heart so deep 🥺

that’s such a good question about what kind of music i associate my moots with!!!!! since i’m a newer blog i feel like i don’t know them well enough yet to pick tho 😭😭

i’ve interacted the longest with lia and matcha so for lia, i’m feeling 70’s, maybe some rock or something like hozier.. for matcha, tracks that are cinematic or upbeat or sweet. i’m so scared of being wrong LMAO this is definitely a question i wanna come back to in the future tho when i know more of my moots better!!! thank you for asking something so creative!!

and i hope you stay in my inbox too 🫶🏼 you’re not “only” an anon!! i value you just as much hehe

(n if you wanna be added to my anon list at any point, lmk what emoji you’d wanna be tagged under and i can add you :))

[yutaleks]

You're our rich papito Aleks, I could never think think you're scary 🤩🤩 you welcomed us anon freaks on your blog ... Made us feel understood... But sometimes I do wonder if you know my real alt (I think that's what the other nonnie meant)?

I haven't been exactly subtle about hiding it but I'm also not very active. Anyways, it's not an issue, I would've come off anon when you changed blogs but the geriatric lore grew (I have this whole saga in my mind ..) so I chose to keep it separated! Also, admittedly, I wouldn't want my alt to be associated with me talking about Grandaddy Naobito backshots 🤩💀 I like to keep my daily life persona and my sexy geriatric manager persona separated, you know, it's exclusively a professional issue ..

To answer your previous questions - no, Grandaddy Wasuke isn't very rich .... I'm with him because I genuinely love him 🥰 .. and his son 🤩!!I think the only geriatric man in my harem who deserves to be bullied and have his money stolen is Grandpa Zen'in 🤩. He just deserves to be manipulated back. And also-

Your nail salon and laser tag businesses sound very legit and legal!! if you ever want to do strictly legal and lawful business, I'm here.. meanwhile, thank you for the donations 🤩

(geriatric anon)

I actually don’t know what your URL is off anon LOL! I am really forgetful… there have been moments where I discover who an anon is and then literally like the next day I forget HAHA.

WHAT SO WRONG WITH NAOBITO BACKSHOTS! Stand proud! (Sukuna voice)

Ykw that makes sense naobito has that zenin Old Money… do you have more residents from outside the JJK universe? I wonder if I can sneak in and visit Joseph Joestar (68)………

[forest-hashira]

Hello i recently started to follow your blogs, i found you through noble blood fic , its really interesting story line i love how adorable Satoru is in this fic , it's like the perfect depiction of what kid Satoru's personality would have been if he had close friends at that age, i really love it, i am eagerly waiting for the next chapter :)

Btw i have a question ,can you tell me at what age did reader found their dragon, for Satoru it's obviously at the age of 8 as you have mentioned, but is it quite late for the reader or like when she turns 10

Also, is the reader gender neutral ?

because I read your blog reply about readers first flight experience,in that Satoru called them princess, so that's why.

Sorry it's just i didn't see any proper description about the reader ,on their sexuality, gender, physical attributes or what do they identify themselves as , not that I care i would read any fic that intrigues if it's well written, it's just it allows me to picture the reader well, sorry if that's too invasive.

hi nonnie! i'm really glad you've been enjoying Noble Blood so far.

and yes! to clarify, the reader is gender neutral, which i mention in notes at the beginning of each chapter i post here. your confusion over the use of the nickname "princess" is understandable, since that is traditionally feminine nickname. as you've probably noticed, i don't use "y/n" in any of my fics (no judgment to authors that do! it's just my personal preference), so i often use nicknames in the place of that, and i rarely, if ever, stick solely to the traditional gender associated with some nicknames (for example, i refer to gojo as "princess" fairly often in my tags & such even though he's a man!)

as for description of the reader's features, attributes or identities, i keep those as an absolute minimum, because i want as many people as possible to be able to imagine themselves in the reader's shoes! i intentionally make an effort not to describe the reader in any capacity that would exclude people (like skin tone, hair texture, even height i try to keep nonspecific), because i think that's fun of reader insert fan fiction! that said, my reader characters will never be completely blank as far as backstory or personality/behaviors, because that would be boring and very difficult to write, but physically i want people to be able to imagine themselves (or an OC, if you prefer) in that space, much like many other authors here on tumblr do.

i hope you this answers your questions and that you'll keep reading Noble Blood, once i'm back to writing & publishing chapters again!

[da-can-draw-stuff]

So happy to come back to Tumblr to see you’re account being active again! Can I ask what’s making/made you anxious about online interactions and is there anything we can do to make posting online comfortable for you again? (I have been following you since early RP days)

Aaah, bless your heart nonny ❤ These kinds of messages mean a lot and are always a pleasure to see.

I was doing pretty well earlier this year, getting stuff done and all, so I guess it was inevitable I'd hit a low.

If you've been around for that long, I should probably give you a unique nickname haha. (Unless I have before? I think I gave one person a nickname before. Still, you'll have to remind me of any convos we've had--it'd be nice to associate anons properly.)

Anyway--I'm trying to be more active at least! But tbh I'm not sure what can be done. These sort of random encouragements/assurances and check ins do help though!

I guess maybe asking me questions or about what I'm working on, make requests--help me build a space to talk about it? I wanted to get back to the old/younger me that was confident and able to share things freely. I'd like to share more, HCs and stories and all, but it's been so long that I frankly don't know how and I end up stuck and holding onto entire series as a result. I've had a few people ask me to turn things into original series or ask if I plan to upload these stories, but how do I actually do that...? ^^"

Not sure about this bottom half since this is technically an art/semi-main blog.

To answer your question about the anxiety...well, I guess it's kind of 'standard' mixed stuff over the years? And I've just gotten...tired and scared and both wanting exposure and yet wanting not to be seen because it's safer. So, I don't really check fandom tags anymore even though I really do want to chat with people.

I became more aware of things I didn't think of before, like image, people looking to pick at things, or whether something like this entire post will get me in trouble with someone somehow/is safe and fine to say/too much info or poor me or something.

So, in a long-winded short summary: There was the emphasis of social media responses in the news, horror stories stemming from online interactions/presences, I came across people acting horribly even though I don't venture much, if it's fine for me to share the less safe content, how much to talk about myself, how much to separate my fan/fun work and my more professional profiles, and it's hard to tell what people are thinking/intending through text and thus harder to trust.

Da is so tired lol. I'm working through it but the last few years have been tough on alll of us, so it's expected that I'll hit this bump in the road from time to time. But it's still much better than before where I pretty much completely withdrew from art and tumblr.

[scary-senpai]

Can you explain garou x saitama? I really don’t see it but I’d like to know your opinion.

Haha, oh my goodness, this was such a lovely ask to get <3 I’m honestly excited to respond (and maybe a little nervous, haha). So, thank you again, beloved nonny, for asking with an open mind. :D

As I mentioned, I’m a bit nervous because the answer is likely weirder than you expect, and that’s because it’s kind of a personal answer? And I (IRL) also tend to be a lot weirder than most people expect. But when it comes to writing, that’s generally the sweet spot, so here goes nothing.

So, I tagged it as Platonic! Garou & Saitama** meaning it’s not romantic or sexual, at least, not in the traditional sense. I could talk for days about what I find appealing--I answered a similar ask on my main blog a few years ago, and my answer is still the same.

** actually I used “x” rather than “&” and in retrospect, I’m not sure if that’s correct. I’ll have to look into it more. But anyway, Garou and Saitama are foils: they have overcome similar obstacles, they grapple with similar despairs—including overwhelmingly strong emotions and/or the perceived absence of them, which is just as conspicuous and painful. I can’t help but feel if their journeys towards physical strength stem from the same place, which is that they are running from questions they don’t want to answer, and parts of themselves they’d rather avoid.

On a lighter note, though, they’re both a little goofy—I like to imagine they communicate almost exclusively in Dad jokes, and I have one scene drafted where they manage to derail a Hero Association meeting this way. You’ll find a lot of stuff under the brotp and sometimes OT3 tag, but more on that later.

In any case, I think that Garou & Saitama’s goofiness stems from the same place: time spent dwelling in dark places. I had a different reaction to That One Panel Where Saitama Threatens to Destroy the World, I thought, “hey, that’s relatable—most people who care deeply about others oscillate between pain and despair and anger, sometimes this results in dramatic outbursts, especially verbal ones; perhaps this will become a talking point later.” Based on later events/context, I no longer think that’s what the authors intended but I don’t think that interpretation is necessarily wrong—the first step to dealing with emotions is to name them. Anyway, I digress.

I myself am actually a gray ace, so when I imagine Garou and Saitama together, I just give them my ideal relationship which is all of the closeness and all of the shenanigans, but none of the sex. Because at the end of the day, I personally just want someone to gently kiss my hand and affectionately whisper “you’re the literal worst” while giving me the deepest and most genuine smile or drive up outside my window, honking and shouting “wake up, loser! We’re gonna spend all day driving around New Jersey doing nice things for people—but first we’re gonna get ice cream.”

(Anyway, if you follow my main blog or read my more personal posts, it is clear that I Have a Type. Like, really really-- I Have a Type.)

Getting back to OPM, though, when I write fics in particular (but also incorrect quotes or headcanons), I write a lot about Garou and Saitama. I think first of all because it’s fun—they’re very strong but they’re also playful. Saitama is a self-professed “hero for fun,” Garou starts out more like a “villain for fun,” and through various interactions—with each other, as well as their respective anchors—they develop an overarching, shared goal that seems initially dissonant…. but in actuality, their visions are very much the same.

Ultimately, they want a safe and peaceful world for everyone, especially the people they care about. Most importantly, they’re trying to both navigate and improve a world that they themselves always seem to peripheral to & outside of; a world that doesn’t appear to be designed for people like them—even before they gained their incredible abilities.

When it comes to their interpersonal dynamics, though, I think that Saitama has this incredible and interesting ability to provoke reactions in other people without intimidating them. That's the role of the "Wise Fool" character, and I believe that's the archetype Saitama falls into. That levity helps others feel safer as they question their own goals and motives. Villains usually serve a similar role in a story--in a good story, they aren't just a plot device; villains challenge us to re-evaluate our assumptions, expectations, and sometimes our values.

...So, Garou does the same thing: he incites others to flip their perspective. But unlike Saitama, he’s deliberately more provocative and more deliberately irreverent. Saitama certainly can be this way, too, but with Saitama it's usually by accident--but then again, it's hard to tell with him. Despite being perceptive and canny, Saitama is often evasive about the things he knows—at the same time, he doesn’t hesitate to get on a soapbox when he feels like he needs to: Saitama wants to save people from themselves as much as he wants to save them from external threats.

…and because Saitama so often ends up in silly situations, it makes him approachable. As we saw with Reigen and Mob in the MP finale, sometimes we serve others best by showing up as our own divinely imperfect, authentically messy self—which Saitama does. Constantly. (And Garou too! I think the most charming thing about his character, when I first encountered him, was the way Garou laughs off various defeats with beautifully insouciant amusement, so delighted to be growing and learning--which is exactly what Saitama wants for himself, and by extension, the sort of person he might gravitate towards).

In the Before Times, when the MA Manga Finale was but a twinkle in the mangaka’s eye, I imagined Saitama and Garou meeting post (WC fight): Garou is working as a delivery guy (of course), and while on break, he hears somebody screaming inside the grocery store he had been stocking. Lo and behold, and it’s Saitama. Saitama is covered in highly corrosive monster goo, watching in horror as all of his coupons disintegrate—along with his clothing. (Spoiler alert: Saitama is not at all concerned with his clothing).

...understandably, the poor, terrified clerk doesn’t want to take Saitama’s money (which is rapidly eating away the counter) and Garou covers his tab. Garou mutters something like, "for obvious reasons, it pains me to see you like this." Saitama interprets this as longing / jealously and pats the kid on the back with an acid-covered hand, assuring Garou the he will also eventually save the world in his own way--maybe even as a hero. (Garou, meanwhile, is thinking "forget about saving the world... I don't wanna live on this planet anymore"). While maintaining full eye contact, Saitama swipes the entire take-a-penny-leave-a-penny jar and vanishes. It's not a meet cute or anything, it's just it's a weird little moment of catharsis and the beginning of their friendship. It is endgame Gearou, though.

When Genos shows up the next morning to pay Garou back, Garou jokingly asks for 150% interest which Genos pays without blinking. ("Sensei's credit rating leaves much to be desired.")

Anyway, I just feel like there are so many opportunities for Saitama to accidentally get Garou to open up about his feelings. I have a rough draft of the “Dr. Saitama” scene where Garou is pouting silently in several inches of mud, pointedly ignoring Saitama until Saitama comes back with that jar of weird-looking eggs in the upper left corner of the shack scene panel. “I didn’t know you could pickle eggs,” Saitama comments. “I thought you could only pickle pickles.”

At which point, Garou snaps, absolutely indignant that this two-bit asshat cannot grasp the concept of a cucumber. My sense is that Saitama did this on purpose--intentionally prodding Garou a bit, trying to help him express his very real, very painful emotions in a way that feels safer, less frightening. I literally never know what Saitama is doing in my fics though. Probably because Saitama doesn't reliably know that, either.

In the same way that Saitama riles Garou up just enough to make him learn something, Garou riles Saitama up just enough to make him emotional--for example, by discerning Saitama's inexplicable fear of elves and adjusting his Christmas decorations appropriately. It's another Gearou fic, but Saitama is--as I always imagine him--just there, living in the same house, being part of their chosen family. I headcanon that they are always arguing about this (“You said you missed having feelings!” “Not these ones!”). It’s just constant, low-level benign trolling in a way that accidentally makes them both into other people.

So, I don’t really have many romantic headcanons or scenarios with the two of them, although I have entertained the idea. And, admittedly, I do have that “BroTP and sometimes ot3” tag. I’ve kind of entertained the idea of some scenario where the three of them are in a polycule? But it has literally always come from a place I never expected, like I fall asleep after editing a Gearou story and then whatever scene I’m workshopping somehow seeps into my dreams… at which point, the characters nitpick everything I’ve got wrong, including the relationship. “They’re not dating. We are. Don’t you see it?” (Ummm… no I don’t? At least not in that particular instance. Because these are not sexy dreams, mind you, just Exceedingly Vanilla, G-Rated anxiety dreams.)

If I hypothetically wrote a romantic and/or NSFW SaiGarou fic, I imagine it might have something to do with the fact that pain is the only emotion Garou allows himself to feel… and Saitama has already seen him at his worst, and, at the same time, hasn’t been phased by it. So I can imagine a situation where Garou knows he has to revisit that part of himself in order to heal and overcome it—that feeling of being broken and vulnerable but also safe and free, and given that he’s probably a bit touch starved you can see how things might progress from there.

Anyway. If something like this shows up on ao3 a year from now, you will know that it definitely was not me.

So, wow, there’s my answer—something like 1.3k words later :-/ if you’re still here, thanks so much for coming to my Ted Talk. I actually did have a little bit of material prepared in hopes that someone would someday ask me a variation of this question, so I’m grateful to you. This was a really nice thing to wake up to, and well-timed because I woke up at 5a and couldn’t get back to sleep. Also, gosh I'm tired. I hope this all makes sense when I wake up, and please forgive any silly spelling mistakes.

Stay safe and well, Friend!

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Love reading your blog! A few questions. Do vertical stripes mean the same thing as horizontal? And, also, how much of the color theory that you've written about can be applied to other shows?

Hey Nonnie

I'm so glad you enjoy my blog - its always nice to know I'm putting out content people actually enjoy and not just shouting into the void, so thank you your kind words and for your great questions!

So stripe theory is very much about the horizontal stripes. Vertical stripes don't fit into that theory, I don't have a theory for the vertical stripes, but I'm currently in the middle of creating a full costume plot for all the mains and some of the regulars so that I can better spot patterns (no pun intended 😂) so I will keep an eye out for what scenes we see vertical stripes in and see if anything starts to emerge - you could also keep a note of them if you like and see if anything comes to you as and when you do any rewatching - I always love when others get involved with spotting costumes and patterns!

As to colour theory and other shows (and films), it really depends - in principle - there will be some degree of colour theory in all shows, it might be more full on or more subtle, it really depends on the designers and the overall direction a show has chosen to take. It also depends on how much colour theory the designers have studied. For example some shows will choose to go down a very specific aesthetic route and that might mean a much more limited colour palette that gets used for all characters, so it becomes much more difficult to apply colour theory. I can't think of an example of a tv show off the top of my head, but many films use it to great effect - The Matrix films and Pans Labyrinth are great examples of this.

while others might choose to use colour in a slightly different way and focus in on a specific colour which will only be seen on certain characters as a way of either highlighting that character or their storyline because they are important to the larger picture. the use of red in The Mentalist is an example where this was used to great effect - the red was either a costume, or the hair colour of a character and you would only ever see it on one character in each episode. there are other examples of this being done in both tv and film.

Its always worth looking at what colours characters are wearing, to see if colour theory is being applied to them, or if it isn't. the thing with it is that there are no hard and fast rules, each colour has a wide variety of meanings, its very much about figuring out which of those meanings a designer might be trying to get across and that is easier for some colour than others as the associations are much stronger i the wider pubic conscience than others are - for example acidic and vivid greens are very closely associated with poisons and jealousy, while baby pink (and baby blue but to a lesser extent) is associated with childishness and naivety!

Basically I've just taken a lot of words to say that it depends on the show or film but that there will be some aspect of colour theory in everything, even if its subconscious or not obvious!! 😂😂😂

Thanks for a great ask and my inbox is always open if you have more costume and colour theory questions!! 💜💜💜

[joe-moi]

It's been the same baseless rumors about this random woman who's vaguely associated with a stan of his since September. Please move tf on (not you, obviously) but the obsessed stans, please, for everyone's sanity. 98% of the blogs are done entertaining these rumors, and normal nonnies are tired of it. Let it go, it's 2024.

I think that’s why that I get the questions in here very randomly. Like out of nowhere, I’ll get a bunch of people coming in to ask questions about the situation and then they’ll disappear for days. Probably because they’re trying the other blogs too. If I’m not talking about it, they move onto somebody else. And when they stop talking they come back to here. It’s really annoying because I don’t know what else there is to say about it. If you want to have a discussion about the person, the TikTok I think is still up.

[ticklee-research-in-progress]

Tickling and Asexuality

anonymous asked: “Do you think there is a link between liking tickling and being asexual?” 

IMPORTANT: This post will include mention of sexual intimacy - but only within strictly educational and health perspectives. 

With that being said, I do ask that all comments, replies, and reblogs on this post remain educational in nature.

This is important information for all ages and sexualities. So please, keep that in mind.

Asexuality

For anyone who may be unaware:

Asexual DEFINITION: An Asexual person is defined as “someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships (or the adjective describing a person as such).”

According to the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). 

In discussing the link between Asexuality and Tickling, I think it is important to first discuss the link between Sexuality and Tickling. This may seem a bit backwards, but give me a chance to explain in full. 

Sexuality and Tickling

Let’s begin with some common facts that, if you’ve been reading up on my blog posts, we know about how tickling affects the body and the mind: 

Tickling triggers the release of endorphins.

Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies.

Tickling relaxes the muscles of your body - both by relieving the muscle tension throughout your body and through physical exhaustion. 

Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow.

Being tickled can lead to a drastic increase in adrenaline.

Laughing can burn calories.

Tickling creates a strong positive association (when consented and wanted, of course) with physical intimacy and touch.

The vulnerability of tickling creates trust between Tickler and Ticklee. 

All of these, increased heartrate, tactile stimulation, the release of endorphins, etc. correlate to how our bodies and minds react when partaking in sexual intimacy too. Especially by touching common erogenous zones like the feet, neck, waist, and thighs, tickling and sexual intimacy already have a distinct link to each other - which has been made evident in studies by Freud and other psychologists. 

“To tickle is, above all, to seduce, often by amusement.”

On Kissing, Tickling, And Being Bored: The Psychoanalytic Essays on the Unexamined Life by Adam Phillips

I am not trying to say that tickling is solely erotic in nature.

But there is an undeniable correlation, both anatomically and psychologically, between tickling and sexual intimacy that should be acknowledged. 

IMPORTANT: The similarities in reactions between tickling and sexual intimacy are important for Ticklees of any age and orientation to understand - both to better protect themselves and avoid unwanted sexual interactions. 

There are plenty of situations and contexts where tickling is solely platonic. And I encourage anyone who does want platonic tickling to continue seeking that out. 

But please remember that there are people who take advantage of that innocence and do not convey their ulterior motives. 

This is why minors, especially Ticklee minors, need to stay within SFW spaces to avoid any individuals who want to prey off of this correlation. 

Knowledge is power. And it is my greatest hope that my blog can provide information so that everyone in this community can be well-equipped with research to better advocate for themselves. By understanding how tickling works, how it affects your body, and how it can be perceived by others, Ticklees especially can learn the warning signs for interactions they need to avoid. 

 I will be delving more into my thoughts on grooming within the Tickling Community specifically in a later post. But because of the nature of this question’s research, I thought this was worth mentioning.  

Asexuality and Tickling

Okay, so if there’s such a strong link between tickling and sexual intimacy, why would there be a correlation between Asexuality and tickling? 

From a scientific standpoint, one could reason that Asexuals enjoy tickling because it is the closest physically-intimate act between two people that is not sex. 

Think about other physical actions that can take place non-sexually between two people: Cuddling, hugs, hand-holding, etc. These are also intimate and comforting acts of physical affection. But these still do not necessary equate to the same hormones being released, the same physical exertion, or the adrenaline rush that sexual intercourse provides.

What sets tickling apart, and puts it on such a close level to sexual intimacy, is that tickling is a game of fight-or-flight, submission, and compulsory pleasure. You do not choose to laugh when being tickled. It is intrinsic, uncontrollable, and a direct reaction to tactile stimulation on the body. You “give in”  to tickling despite your body trying to impulsively escape. 

Tickling requires trust, vulnerability, and an awareness of the body in a way that no other form of platonic physical affection can compare. 

So my answer is this: For someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships, tickling can be an intimate act that still establishes the same vulnerability, tactile stimulation, and physical exertion (that are often characteristic to sexual intimacy) in a way that makes them happy. 

For any Aces that are not sex-repulsed, tickling can still act as a catalyst to heighten any kind of intimacy of their choosing. My own scientific conclusion is geared more towards Asexuals who are more sex-repulsed, admittedly. An example of a different Ace perspective is in a quote from a conversation I had with @an0nymz​:

“Someone unplugged the wire in my brain leading from "sex drive" to "sex" and plugged it into the port for "tickling" instead. I can be "sexually" stimulated by things that I would call my kinks, [...] but despite my body going into "I want to have sex" mode my brain for whatever reason developed in a way where it reads that signal as "I want to tickle" instead!”

-Z

Honestly, the answer may be as simple as Asexuals wanting tickles instead of sex.

But just because, for some people, tickling can be used as a replacement for sex, that does not mean that sex and tickling are one and the same. And that does not mean that tickling is only sexual.

Tickling can be holistically platonic. It can be sexual too. It can be platonic with friends while being sexual with partners. Really, tickling can be whatever you make it. I think that Asexuals can use whatever context they’d like for why they enjoy tickling. 

In the end, there will be as many different reasonings for the connection between tickling and Asexuality as there are unique and wonderful Aces. 

While I don’t identify as a sex-repulsed Asexual anymore, my reasoning back then was because tickling was a form of constant, physical intimacy I could have with my friends and partner that didn’t involve sex - while still allowing me to receive that touch, joy, adrenaline, excitement, and emotional connection that I craved so badly. It made me feel like I wasn’t “missing out” just because I didn’t want to have sex. I could still be intimate and be touched by others - just in a way that made me the happiest. 

Thank you for the question, nonnie! And as always, be sure to reblog or reply with your own thoughts. I’d love to hear perspectives on this topic that are more personal-experience-based. 

[olderthannetfic]

Antis kept me from getting into Judaism. At the advice of my therapist, I write in order to cope with CSA, and antis on the Jewish side of tumblr (jumblr) called me a writer of child erotica and a pedophile when I asked a Jewish blog if believing in psychology and being a writer was compatible with Judaism. After seeing people say I jerk off to child rape, write child erotica, etc. even though I write recovery fics with no sex in them, I now associate Judaism with antis/Puritans in my head.

--

...

You asked if believing in psychology was compatible with Judaism?

What the hell kind of backwards-ass scientology-level cult do you think Judaism is, nonnie? Sometimes, it feels like my town is nothing but Jewish psychologists.

Considering you can't go two feet in oldschool fandom without tripping over a Jewish fan, none of whom care about thought crimes, this sounds like a you problem. Maybe stop hanging around religion bloggers and go find some more mainstream and less uptight sources on Judaism.

Or don't ask weird, leading questions that clearly have an ulterior motive.

No one who's emotionally an adult gives two shits if other people write to cope, much less Jews who have produced a massive body of art about trauma and genocide. There are many Jewish cultures, sure, but the stereotype is of intellectuals, and there are fucktons of Jewish shrinks and writers. This entire situation sounds bizarre, and not because of the antis being antis.

[dracwife]

what is self-shipping and how does one get involved

heya nonny!

self shipping is exactly what it sounds like. its like shipping two characters, except one is yourself, or representative of yourself! those "x reader" fanfics we've all seen at some point, that's a form selfshipping, and the most common one at that i'd say.

lots of people do it to cope with trauma or mental illness, or because they prefer oc x canon, or just because it's fun, really :] in any case, it's about enjoying yourself and interacting with other people that share your interests, and discovering new medias and interests through the community.

some people ship themselves with canon characters (from all types of medias, not just movies or tv!), some people ship their ocs (who they relate to or project onto) with canon characters, or ship themselves or ocs with other ocs, anything you can think of, really!

and it doesn't always have to be romantic/sexual attraction. lots of people have purely platonic or familial bonds to their f/os (fictional others, the term used for characters you selfship with!), and they're all just as valid as seeing yourself romantically or otherwise involved with characters. i have lots of platonic and familial f/os myself, as well as a long list of romantic ones!

you can be as involved or as uninvolved as you're comfortable with, so long as you are enjoying it. you can make art, fanfiction, moodboards, playlists, any way that makes you feel comfortable and connected to your favorite characters, so long as you're not pushing yourself beyond what you enjoy. if you want to become more involved on tumblr specifically, you can make a sideblog (or separate blog if you don't want people to associate it with your main!) and make a promo post -- an introduction about yourself, your f/os (many people make carrds listing out their f/os and whether they're comfortable sharing, or seeing others also selfship with that character, here's mine as an example!), and some of your interests! if you want to, i suggest that's the best way to get started.

and before you ask: no, it isn't weird to selfship, even if you're looking for a real-life relationship, or are in one, or want one, or even if you don't want one or have any interest in one! i know this is a question a lot of new selfshippers have, and sometimes it can scare people away from the idea of selfshipping publically. i've been in a happy relationship of almost two years now with my wonderful (irl) boyfriend, and he's fully aware of my selfshipping blog + tendencies, and he doesn't mind because he understands it's something i do to make me happy, and have fun, but i've also been selfshipping my whole life, before i even knew about the community. and being happy and enjoying yourself is what this community is all about!

if you do want to make a selfshipping blog, here are a few of the wonderful friends i've made over time that i highly recommend you follow, because not only are their ships incredibly endearing and wonderful to see, they're also incredibly kind and accepting, and helped me feel more comfortable in this community space: @madscience @tex-treasures @robertschases @cyberwoman @nnizumono @hopecountyisforlovers @voidselfshipp @morticiankisser @vanityloves !!

[angst-fairygodmother]

I don't get why you and @salvador-daley aren't friends. You're both great people and cores of the fandom, so why don't you talk?

You know what Nonny, I'm going to give you props for bluntness. I have yet to see someone so directly ask. Also I'm flattered that you think I, of all, people am the core of any fandom, especially this one.

That being said, this is a really frustrating question. Why we're not friends is because we're not. There are reasons for it, but frankly they're none of your damn business. That's all there is to it. And I don't foresee that changing any time.

This ask (and ones I've gotten previously on my main blog implying but not stating the same question) feel a bit like when my grandmother used to try and set me up on playdates. "You both played with Barbies in the church basement because you couldn't sit still in the pews, and neither of you was the one that got kicked out for biting people, so why aren't you best friends?"

From what I've observed, we have very little in common, other than a shared amusement in/attraction to the Dancing Monkey that is Robert Sheehan or his characters (the Barbies in the analogy). We have different other interests, different friend circles. Different...tastes. You can sit us down on a weird smelly carpet surrounded by yellow walls and make us wait for you to be done listening to sermons and hymns for three hours every week, but you cannot make us go to the beach together after.

I'm tired of being asked this. It feels like I'm not allowed to make my own choices about who I want to associate with. And that makes me feel like garbage.

[princesstillyenna]

generic question! do you answer all your ask? i wouldnt expect you to answer like the mean/rude ones but like do you answer most of them?

Hi Nonnie...

Yes, and at the same time no.

I try to answer all my asks. Sometimes I even answer the mean/rude ones if I think they're adding something to the discourse or if it's something that I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT. Sometimes the anons which are mean are clearly people without critical reading skills though and I ignore those because like... playing chess with a pigeon y'know?

Sometimes I stop a conversation at my inbox. Like, for example the tk/nolpats cheating/assuming non monogamy discourse ended up with an inbox that was LITERALLY 50% people going "Who the fuck needs to ASK if a relationship is monogomous, OBVIOUSLY IT IS, that is GROSS and Nolpats is just an evil cheating cheater in the gc" and the other 50% were people going "Um, why are there people in your blog saying that everyone assumes monogamy... WHO ASSUMES MONOGAMY????"

And yes, it was literally 50/50. I counted. The only thing I took away from it is the people who were pro "monogamy is the default and you should never have to ask if you're in a monogamous relationship" were a lot more aggressive about their opinions and a lot ruder than the people who were team "nothing is a default in a relationship, discuss everything" BUT that is largely I imagine because it is known what MY stance on the matter is.

BUT the point is, I didn't think that airing all of these on my tumblr was going to do anything except divide people further. It seems to be a cultural thing (purity culture vs not maybe?? idk, purity culture makes me 🤢) and that a bunch of people yelling at each other about their opinions was no longer discourse y'know? And I had expressly invited discourse about the way I'd WRITTEN it, not about people's opinions on whether there are default relationship assumptions.

Also I don't answer asks which are not anonymous. I've talked about why in the past, but basically there are those in hockey fandom who will hunt down anyone associated with me and I want to keep you, my lil meow meows safe. Yes nonnie, you are my blorbo now.

I also think that's the main reason WHY I have so many asks, because it's usual to discuss a fic in the comments on ao3, but like, quite rightly, most people don't want their usernames as comments on MY fic, so they come here instead to chat about it, which is cool :D I love anons just as much as I love comments and I feel more comfortable answering anons, I've got a bit... anxious... about answering comments on my fic atm.

Finally, I do occasionally get burnt out. Right now is the busiest time of year at work for me, which is burning me out HARD because I have to basically work all the hours I possibly can to then save money for the 2 months of the year where I get virtually no work. So I've been bunching together anons that I felt were similar enough? Just to like, try and reduce the load? But honestly, I love answering my tumblr anons. It really feeds into my narcissism (j/k)

So yeah, if you have an anon that hasn't been answered, it's either sitting in my inbox waiting for me to have the brain to answer it, or if it's particularly combative it may have been deleted?

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Question for you Mod. Is there a reason you censor company and sculpt names? I understand why you do it for people but what the point of the others?

~Anonymous

Mod: I don't censor sculpt names, though sometimes Nonnies do. About half of name censoring is actually done by Nonnies themselves these days, I still do a bit. I (and Nonnies) censor company names because many companies are either super small, or not well represented on English-speaking social media, so their company might show up on search associated with this blog, which I assume is not what they would wish.