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#normal again i really will get to them
hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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critter-covenant · 22 days
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"ooooh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!"
They'd be good friends I like to thinmk
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ooo fantasy au Poppy oooo there's so much empty space on this, it's killing me
rambles:
why is there lace? why does she have a neck corset? because she's Gorgeous and I'm the Artist Here. i will always inflict my personal tastes on everyone I draw. pretty bird <3
it's really difficult to put clothes on a bird... stream helped out a bunch with the colors & the leg gear! I imagine that the leather is durable, which is probably the only thing that gets her to traverse less Forgiving terrain. Thornbushes and itchy tallgrass can't hurt her! she's got "boots"! How Does She Secure Them, i hear no one ask. that's what neighbors are for, isn't it? and a skilled beak once she gets the swing of it.
her shawl remains largely the same due to my lack of imagination! i put a lil feather clasp instead of the shawl being tied together to give it a more fantasy-oriented look. i think i succeeded? i like to think so! i imagine that the clasp gives Poppy some stress, though. It's sharp! Ish. it's sharp by her standards!
Poppy's enchanted glasses allow her to "see" injuries and illness, both caused by magical & normal means. this is very helpful in her role as healer, but also extremely stressful - just because she can see issues doesn't mean she automatically knows what they are! to her, a papercut may be misinterpreted by the beginnings of a fatal infection! i like to think that she got tired of needing to hold the glasses in place over her beak and asked if there was a charm to keep them steady. and they confidently had their resident wizard spell them on - oops! the spell was a little too strong! they're now magically superglued on! yeah, those are never coming off.
she also has a magic bag that i imagine was a gift from her family when she left the nest! she'd never directly use it herself - what if she falls in? what if something nasty managed to crawl inside? - but the Neighborhood uses it as collective storage. it can hold a lot! supplies, books, tents, gold, even Julie when she's determined enough!
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seagull-scribbles · 9 months
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“Ain’t turtles supposed to be endangered?”
“Only the ones who can’t do this!”
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thronealigned · 8 months
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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal
#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for#a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally#oc: impulse#sure this'll go in their tag#everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then#really funny again if you think about it even longer#one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending#i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong#impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person#tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people#you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as#sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings#not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges#and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human#connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they#were never the person you became friends with at all#and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were#friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too#they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even#think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope#i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained
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ministarfruit · 1 month
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local alley cat gets beaten up (colourised)
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skyppl-e · 2 months
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oh yeah.... im making aus now.... florist au but al haitham is a part time employee at the plant nursery tighnari owns and kaveh keeps running into him
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queenerdloser · 4 months
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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plaid-maniac · 1 year
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Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it#the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama#and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’#but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly#cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do#course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch#together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good#what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and-#-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward-#-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’#god what would happen and Edgeworth v state?#the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’#and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation???#‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to-#-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’
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ilovefredjones · 5 months
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the frozen ii ending makes me soooooo angry like the whole POINT of frozen i was that elsa learned that she could rule arendelle with her powers and with anna by her side!!! literally in the bway musical she sings ‘i know i’ll never see that sunny day / when this trial is finally through / and it can just be me and you’ like. elsa WANTS to stay with anna
and they try and explain this somewhat in into the unknown, with the ‘who knows deep down i’m not where i’m meant to be’ but. WHY isn’t she where she’s meant to be. all of the first film was her learning that she belonged in arendelle and her powers/herself wasn’t something to be afraid of. why isn’t she meant to be with her family? with her sister who’s been desperate to reconnect with her? why doesn’t she belong where people readily love her and accept her and want the best for her?
and then, what about anna? there is no mention of her wanting/being ready to be queen in either two films. we don’t even see the offer on screen; we don’t get the sisters’ quiet, vulnerable conversation where elsa admits to wanting to live with the rest of the nature spirits and anna offers to take her place as queen. we don’t see anna begging elsa to stay in the forest because she can rule if elsa’s happier there. we never see their dialogue. it’s just so sudden. is anna once again just going along with what her sister wants? is elsa isolating herself all over again? we just don’t know. they both seem happy, but there’s barely any indication that it’ll lead up to that point.
it just makes no sense for either of their arcs, or their previous wants/needs. if they were meant to stay together, why separate them again? they just got each other back. and now they’re alone again.
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koszmarnybudyn · 8 months
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Yay i finished it, everyone here is yassified because i cannot pass up cute outfits.
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rapidhighway · 9 months
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Not enough possession in sonic we gotta change that
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snowshinobi · 10 months
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hear me out: divorce ceremonies. divorce cake and divorce outfits. toasts to the uncouple spoken by the Worst Man and Maid of Dishonor (gender neutral). separate piles of gifts for the freshly parted, stuff like nice sheets and Target giftcards and cookbooks. marriage gets to have all this ritual attached to it and by god divorce deserves some of that action
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medi-bee · 8 months
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These are the guys who have total martial control over the center of the galaxy? are you sure?
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moeblob · 5 months
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So I personally don't play DBD (though I think it might be fun to try but I'd be bad at it so) but a streamer I watch plays it a lot and her survival rate against Wesker players is astounding. And funny to watch. So I draw lil doodles for her Wesker interactions to put off doing other art.
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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