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#not entirely for hs reasons it was just funny it worked out that way. it was fate
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Does anyone have any birthday headcanons for dndads. I’m starving for canon bdays all we have is Henry, Link, and Scary. And then Scary again because Beth forgot and changed it lol (June 10th btw)
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kucherovv · 8 months
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ok very long situationship discussion under cut bc i slept over last night and Ermm im processing it now
sooo it was pretty nice for the most part Like. idk when im JUST hanging out with them its very good. like laying in bed together is pretty much the only time its good
we hung out w our mutual rlly close friend and. idk if ivs said this but at some point there was another girl which is. fine because we're not dating or exclusive in any way (like, explicitly not exclusive) but it does make me want to kill myself. anyways we were talking about said other girl and there were hints that there might be a THIRD one but i genuinely dont think so bc situationship literally cannot leave their room rn bc of [mental health reasons i cant get into]
like i dont want to be naive but. yeah i think it was just something in the past bc they have always mentioned other people as friends at least and they only ever hang out w me and the aforementioned close friend. like they dont even see the other girl anymore
anyways also our friend was pointing out how situationship was IN A SITUATIONSHIP with someone else last fall semester before i rlly met them and wanted to start dating but the girl didn't want to and it like devastated them. almost like what is happening to me rn. and they were like "well let's not talk abt that because it gets too close to uncomfortable self reflection" ok
theyve told me before that like. they want people to be obsessed with them (hence the fucking around) but not obsessed in the way that people are when theyre dating. BUT after a break up the other person should continue to be obsessed with them. like theyre scared of the commitment or vulnerability or whatever that comes from reciprocity. its so weird i just dont understand how their brain works!
its just like. how can you expect people to give you attention the way that you want them to if you treat them like this.
also our friend was like "i would rather you guys stop entirely or date but i cant stand this in between" like YOU cant stand it IMAGINE HOW I FEEL LOL. ok anyways. and he also said he told situationship to just stop being involved w anyone which is funny. its so silly when they talk about our relationship like im not there 🥴😐
also its. not like i havent been honest or upfront abt my feelings bc ive told them maybe 50 times how i feel abt them. but its not something im going to push whatever
i was also talking to my hs friend who had a situationship turn into a real relationship and he was like "well are you guys having sex at least bc that makes jt a little better" NO WE'RE NOT!!!! its so weird bc we . basically did when i was visiting them this summer and then havent even kissed since then. silly!!! someone (charlie maybe) said we were slowburn and its like No. we're just regressing
ANYWAYS. i am not pushing or changing anything BECAUSE. they are withdrawing for the semester and going home then coming back in the spring. and going to therapy and meds in the meantime
so. this is very dumb probably but. i hope they get better so we can be in a fr relationship because i think we're very good together. and i think they like me more than the other girl. which sounds so stupid and desperate when u say it out loud but i really. do think they like me the best. and i hope that if they pursue a relationship w someone that its me .
ok typing that out makes it seem insane um. but yeah whatever fuckk me i guess
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aizenat · 1 year
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@giftinguava What’s funny is I’ve been thinking a lot about kpop and why I don’t think it will ever be a staple of western/international music. Despite how big it’s blowing up rn, kpop companies are going to try to market more aggressively in the west and it’s not going to work for a host of reasons. I mean, just the other day, one of the stylists for Twice dressed one of the girls in a QAnon shirt. Their complete inability to understand westerners is going to be their biggest downfall.
But even more than that, the FANS are the biggest thing in the way of kpop being able to blow up genuinely and organically. It’s great to love this music and have fun with it; I was a huge jrocker in the 2000s and it also helped me connect to my hs crush when I was young. And being able to play songs from anime and belt it out with my friends is some of my favorite memories.
But this attacking behavior where you literally can’t say anything other than staunch praise is psychotic. It’s literal mental illness. It’s funny because when I was young, being an anime fan was cringe culture but now anime is mainstream and most anime fans do NOT act like…that. Like don’t get me wrong, there are still issues and they’re not perfect. But I feel like kpoppies have replaced weebs as the cringe youth culture, and yet they have none of the self awareness of everyone seeing them as cringe.
Like, when I was an anime fan as a kid, because there was so much dunking on weebs, I always kept myself in check so as not to be “like that.” It’s why I’m not into shipping and fanfiction and don’t make anime my entire identity; it was self policing so that I never crossed the line. It’s why when I learned about cultural appropriation, I didn’t have to make major adjustments because I wasn’t doing that shit from jump. I was always respectful towards Japanese culture. I sometimes say Japanese words, but I speak more French when I’m saying random shit in another language lol.
But kpoppies don’t do any of that. They do whatever they want, say what they want, harass whoever they want, and think they’re valid. There is no “am I being cringe” question through their minds. Like it reminds me of big mouth and the season the shame wizard comes to town. Obviously you shouldn’t live your entire life in shame, but a little bit if it IS good. It’s what stops you from harassing people all in the name of stanning. It stops you from walking your partner outside in public in a leash. If stops you from making these things so un-fun for casual fans that they just turn away from it instead of indulging more.
And that last point is the biggest thing. This rapid behavior turns people AWAY from kpop. Some people might listen to a blackpink song and like it. Some people might see Twice perform on the Kelly Clarkson show or where ever and want to check them out. Some people may see someone share a dance cover if a llesserafim song and want to check out the original music video. But you make people disinterested when they can’t even add comments without fear of getting harassed and attack. Fans like this don’t make kpop fans look good; they make them look cringe and most people won’t engage with something that feels and looks cringe. They just wont. They’ll write it off as kid shit the 12 year olds will get over and then they’ll ignore it and move on. This current hallyu wave won’t matter in the long run for kpop (and other Asian) artists being able to make it in the west if we cant even criticize them without insane amounts of harassment afterwards.
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years
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Memories of 2020 - Initial asks and a small discussion
*cracks knuckles* Here we go.
If any of you have spent any amount of time today on any ARMY sns platform, I’m sure you’ve seen the mess which, as seasoned ARMY, I can tell you was the exact same mess we see...every single time. I can’t particularly say I’m surprised by any of it, especially when watching the entire process, as in the first clips hitting the TL and then the rest slowly following suit like a flood building steadily as the hours went by.
From anon: be ready for insecure vminies 😂
I’m pleased to report it wasn’t actually as bad as I expected, though now that I’m typing this I probably jinxed my own luck and the flood of asks will come soon enough, but maybe not. I’m holding on to the latter.
Based on the cycle in which these things happen every time, as in that the first clips that hit the ARMY spaces are Xkook ones, followed by vmin and other ships, and lastly more OT7 content, I expected our asks to go haywire after that clip, you know which one I mean. But we’ve only gotten two (?) about it, kind of, so I guess most people understood that it was just for laughs and nothing serious that anyone would have to get insecure over.
From anon: Sigh. This is my first memories of bts as army and i'm already tired of how all of twitter seems to be about 1 j*/k*ok moment now. There were so many j*n/kook m*ments and hugs and a sweet h*pe/k*ok backhug moment and a good number of vmin moments including slow dancing so why is the focus always on that one ship?
Here’s the thing, maybe my TLs are just well curated, I don’t know, but on mine no one really focused on that moment? Even non-shipper OT7s just briefly had a chuckle and then moved along to other things, awww’ed at vmin moments, there was lots and lots of talk about J*nk*ok being super cute and there being so much content when it comes to their interactions, there was a lot of chatter about basically every duo and OT7 moment. I know ship specific spaces went nuts, Xkookers butting heads like their lives depend on it, but outside of them?
“All of twt” is an exaggeration and I know, believe me I do, that Xkookers have the ability to make it seem like everyone just cares about their moments because they themselves (the shippers) are loud and seemingly everywhere, but when you look past them, that isn’t the case. Shippers have a tendency to generalize, especially those who follow a lot of their fellow shippers, but when you step outside of shipper spaces, things look very differently.
Like anon said, though I’d like to preface this by saying that I haven’t seen the entirety of Memories of 2020 so I can only go by what I have seen though I’d say I’ve seen nearly everything that was posted on twt or at least as much as I could find (including Xkook things), there were a lot, and I mean a lot, of amazing moments between basically all the members, regardless of who your favorite duo might be, I’m sure there was something for you there. Even those who are supposedly a rarity. And even as vminnies, this time around we had a feast with so many amazing vmin moments, some funny ones, some random ones, some super cute ones, whatever you want, there is something there for you to find. And the same can be said about so many other duos, we even got Yoongi and Hobi FaceTiming each other, and Yoongi saying they look like a couple while looking at the pictures Hobi chose for the coffee truck he sent to Yoongi’s Daechwita MV filming set.
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There’s one discussion I’d like to get out of the way below the cut, but after that I will have another post very, very soon in which I want us to just have some fun and look at vmin, namjin and the other moments because there is just so much to find. And this is just day one of people having the DVDs, these discussion will continue for a while because, like I mentioned before, Memories are a treasure trove for OT7 content and fun stuff, and there’s more than eleven hours worth of it to be watched, discovered and discussed.
But, okay, let’s get into that moment since anons wanted to talk about it and know my thoughts on it, so let’s do just that. And yes, other anon from a while ago, I remember you once mentioning how I shouldn’t talk about other ships and shouldn’t “debunk” them and their moments, though I’d hardly call this debunking, but as I said many times since our first post, I’m ARMY before I am a vminnie and namjinist, and our blog is called thoughts on Bangtan and, as far as I’m aware, both JK and Jimin are part of Bangtan, so I don’t see a reason why I can’t show my perspective on it and also voice my grievances with shippers when it comes to that moment. And, before anyone comes into our asks to yell at me for being toxic/problematic or only doing this to make my ship look better or whatever, no, that isn’t the point, like at all. 
“Debunking” moments makes literally no difference whatsoever in the grand scheme of things and doesn’t affect reality, all I am doing is having a chat just like everyone else. I’m not even asking you to agree with me, you’re more than welcome not to, I can’t and won’t stop you. Also, just so you know, my initial reaction was just to laugh amused by it, no hard feelings, so I’m not the bad guy.
That being said...the Xkook moment.
Here’s the thing, when it first surfaced many hours ago, the moment itself was cut down to show just the moment of Jimin leaning close to JK and JK leaning back and turning his head away so his cheek faced Jimin...and cut, some even cutting off the video before JK turned his head. That’s it. People, as in shippers, freaked out, and everyone else had a good laugh and moved along to other things, even vminnies were joking about it and everything. I saw none of my fellow vminnies getting angry or insecure about it. Then, as time went by, someone else posted that scene but this time also showing the things leading up to it, so putting it into context instead of removing it. With the context suddenly the whole thing looked and felt completely differently since moments prior Jimin was pretending to stab JK with the pointy end of his mic and then acted as though to check if he was d*ad, as in the end of the scene. Turns out it was just for giggles and not some grand romantic moment in a room full of people and a camera close to their faces.
By that time, of course, those who cared most about that moment had long decided what meaning this holds and didn’t care once context was shown. Gifs and art had already been created, the yelling was loud, and the fights between Xkookers were reaching levels of toxicity I hadn’t seen in a while, which was disgusting and fucked up the say the least. But, the thing is, I don’t think the moment itself was the issue. In context and as rational ARMY you know it was just Jimin playing around with JK as they usually do, things we’ve also seen other members do in similar (though not quite like this) fashion, and after eight years since debut and nine of knowing each other, this isn’t shocking or new in any way. No, the issue were Xkookers and the way they treated this moment, some even going as far as taking screenshots and editing them to make it seem like they were about to kiss, as in they changed the placements of their heads to fit their narrative, as well as others making gifs where they play the moment backwards (leaving out the part where JK leans his head away and to the side) and thus they created their own version of the moment which was different from what had actually happened.
That is my biggest issue with this whole thing. The blatant manipulation of moments to create narratives that don’t match reality, twisting them and using them in stupid pointless fights. But imagine vminnies were to do any of that, all hell would break loose and we’d be attacked without mercy because how dare, and yet they don’t follow their own “logic” and “rules”. It’s more than okay to find any and all moments cute, we all do, to make jokes and whatnot, but twisting context, manipulating it and basically creating your own version of it goes too far. 
Take what we are given as what it is, instead of what you want it to be.
So, now that that’s done, please fellow vminnies and ARMYs, don’t be insecure or let people ruin your mood and fun over it. It’s not worth it. Instead let’s check out and have a talk about some of the fun vmin and OT7 moments we got, along with other ones, including my reply to another anon when it comes to namjin. Of course what I will mention in the post (HERE) is basically just the tip of the iceberg since tumblr has a limit on pictures and everything, so just know there is so much more still left to see than just that.
Before I’ll go, for those who still feel a little insecure/doubtful/whatever else, while I was working on this post and the other one, another anon sent in this well timed vmin ask:
From anon: I have to say this as a Vmin supporter. Whatever is going on with Vmin we can rest assure what they is special/untouchable. They graduated HS & college together, going for Bachelors together. Jimin-ah I like you the most. I want to live with my lovely Taehyung for the rest if my life. Their future is together, friends/soulmates or more they said it. I won’t tear down other members closeness (good for them) their bonds don’t erase Vmins. I’m just happy with the moments Vmin allow us to see.
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murasaki-murasame · 3 years
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Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep10
I’m kinda out of it due to a mix of toothache and painkillers, so bare with me on this one, lmao.
Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Also lots of Umineko spoilers, probably.
I’m genuinely kinda shocked that this arc STILL isn’t over, but at least it makes a lot more sense now why it ended up being longer than I expected, lol. I still think it probably could have been condensed by an episode or two, but still. It turns out that way more was going on with Satoko behind the scenes in this arc than I thought.
There’s also the whole possibility that Ryukishi might have intentionally laid out the script of Gou/Sotsu so that this whole sequence of Satoko definitively accepting that she’s a witch and killing her humanity happened on the cumulative 34th episode [24 from Gou and now 10 from Sotsu]. I’ve been wondering if anything could actually justify the extremely slow pacing this has had up to this point, but this might actually be dumb enough to make me think it was all worth it, lol.
Also, I’ve been trying to avoid saying it, but I looked at the whole batch of leaks from this arc when they got posted about a month ago, and it looks like we’ve officially covered everything that was in those leaks. I kinda regret looking at them, since it spoiled that Satoko would have an internal conflict that gets expressed literally in usual WTC fashion, but in a funny way I guess I ended up getting a misguided idea of what was going to happen just from looking at the leaks.
For one thing, I completely forgot about the leak of Satoko shooting Teppei until I double checked it a few days ago, so I was mostly just focused on the stuff about her two sides fighting against each other, and I guess I thought it would have made her seem a lot more redeemable than how it ended up actually working out, lol. I thought that it would basically go in the opposite direction and this would signal the start of her spiraling into regret and despair over the course of Nekodamashi, but basically the opposite happened.
I guess this probably answers the question I’ve had of what could stop Satoko from just immediately shooting Rika after the cliffhanger from Nekodamashi, since this raises the possibility of her ‘human side’ literally stopping her from doing it.
Though at this point I’m starting to seriously wonder if there’ll be some big meta twist about how Sotsu has actually been a separate set of loops to what we saw in Gou, and maybe Nekodamashi really did just end in tragedy and then everything got reset. I’ve been toying with that idea in my head for a while, mainly just as a way to try and make Sotsu feel like more than just a literal retread of Gou, but this is giving it a bit more validity as a theory.
For one thing, Eua already implied during Satokowashi that she had a history with Satoko, and going by something Ryukishi said in an interview, there’s already been a time where Satoko called her Eua, so it’s possible that Satokowashi onward is an entirely new loop where both Satoko and Rika have had their memories reset, but Eua still remembers it. Presumably the ‘Gou loop’ would have just ended with failure some way or another, and Eua decided to do it again. She’s given Satoko a pretty definitive failure state in Sotsu, but it’s possible that wasn’t always the case, and up until now she’s been willing to just do it over and over again until she gets the right outcome.
There’s also the theory some people have suggested that maybe the conflict between Satoko’s two halves represented a literal split in the timeline of some kind, with Tataridamashi maybe being a version of events where her human side won out, if only temporarily, and Teppei stayed alive to attack Keiichi at the end of the arc. That’d at least be one way to explain the weirdness of Satoko killing Teppei in this episode after we saw him attack Keiichi at the end of this arc in Gou. I’m not entirely sure I support this exact interpretation, though, even if I like the idea of these maybe being different arcs.
I think that for now my theory about the Teppei situation is that either 1: it was some kind of hallucination from Keiichi, 2: it was a fictionalized account of events that she fed to Ooishi to help trigger his L5 state, or 3: it’s the same sort of thing as the ‘Illusion of Witches’ in Umineko, and we as the audience were directly being shown a fantasy version of events by Satoko. Which is basically the same thing as the second option, but still. Considering how this seems to be barreling it’s way towards being some kind of Umineko prequel, I’ve been wondering if maybe they’d go that far with introducing narrative concepts here that get expanded upon more in Umineko. This would at least be a pretty straightforward example to use to illustrate the idea of how fantasy is used as a device in Umineko. And since there were infamously major issues with people not understanding what Ryukishi was trying to do with those scenes in Umineko ep2 which lead to him having to rewrite ep3 to explain it more clearly, I can see why he might go as far as to include an introduction to this idea in this series.
It’s possible that it’s just a hallucination, but I kinda doubt it at this point. For one thing, it’d feel kinda weird if THIS was a hallucination but not the whole fight scene between Keiichi and Rena, but it’d also just feel kinda weird since Keiichi didn’t really seem to be going L5 in this arc, so it’s kinda hard to imagine him jumping straight to that level of insanity on such short notice.
At least if we assume that this leads into the ending we saw in Tataridamashi, and not something entirely different, I think the real version of events is probably that after leading Keiichi to her house, Satoko attacks him with the bat [or she rigged some kind of trap to knock him out], and then when he wakes up he sees the aftermath of Satoko killing Teppei and he assumes he did it. Though tbh even at the end of Tataridamashi I’m not even sure if Keiichi acknowledged any memory of what happened with Teppei, so I’m not even sure if we need to explain how he’d end up convinced that that version of events happen. For all we know it might just be something that the audience alone was being shown, and from Keiichi’s POV he just gets knocked out and then wakes up in the hospital.
It’s possible that Ooishi ends up attacking him, but I kinda doubt it, at least after how this episode went. Even in the midst of HS, he seemed aware of the fact that Keiichi was at worst just being unwittingly manipulated by the villagers, and that he genuinely thought he was helping her, so I doubt that Satoko would be able to convince him to attack him. And at this point it just seems more likely that Satoko would attack Keiichi herself instead of pointlessly relying on someone else to do it for her.
We do know that he shows up at the festival with the bloody bat, but he could have just entered the house after hearing the commotion of Keiichi getting attacked, and then Satoko told her version of events to him, and he just picked up the bat from the crime scene and took it to the festival.
It’s also worth noting that apparently in the manga version of Tataridamashi, Satoko never even leads Keiichi to her house in the first place, and he just gets shot by Ooishi at the festival, which makes it seem more likely that Keiichi himself isn’t super relevant to how this arc ends. At least in the manga version of the arc, it seems like Ooishi probably just walked in on Teppei’s dead body and then picked up the bat and went on to do his killing spree.
Now I’m also wondering what’ll happen in the next episode, since it seems like they literally only have the festival left to cover before this arc ends. I guess there might just be a lot of content related to what happens with Satoko in the fragment space between this arc and Nekodamashi, but either way it feels like it shouldn’t take long at all to reach the big climax of this arc, especially since Satoko has already steeled her resolve. I mean, I doubt that human-Satoko is gone for good, but the rest of this arc is probably just gonna be witch-Satoko putting her final plans into motion, so there shouldn’t be much to cover there.
There’s a possibility that they’ll also speedrun through all of Nekodamashi from her POV in the next episode, but I kinda doubt it’d go by that fast. In spite of it mostly being a montage from Rika’s POV, and there presumably not being much worth showing about the mechanics and reasoning behind how Satoko set up the different mini-loops there, I think there’s still a fair bit to be shown from her perspective in that arc. For one thing, we’ll probably get a reveal of what was really going on behind the scenes with how Hanyuu suddenly gave Rika a new set of powers, and the whole deal with the sword. And even after the loop montage, I think that stuff will go on behind the scenes with Satoko and Takano to lead into the scene where Takano apologizes to Rika.
At this point my main question is how long it might take to get through all of that, since we only have five episodes left. At least as far as we know. There might be some kind of continuation yet to be announced, but I don’t want to bet on it.
It just feels like there’s a whole lot of stuff left to do before we end this. Like the stuff I’ve mentioned before with the OP having scenes of the club members as teenagers wearing outfits different to their ones from Satokowashi, and the scene of teenage Rika and Satoko fighting in the fragment space.
I’m also wondering at this point if we’ll get some Bernkastel origin story stuff to go with the apparent Lambda origin story. At the very least, they never really explained why she ended up being Featherine’s miko in Umineko, aside from the vague ‘Featherine is probably some version of Hanyuu’ thing. Which has been especially weird since Eua has been using Satoko as her pawn against Rika in this series. But this episode also makes it seem even more likely that Eua doesn’t even like Satoko, and is just using her as a pawn towards a greater goal of entertainment, while probably also playing both sides, so I could see this leading to a situation where she ends up working with Bernkastel instead.
There’s still the question about if this is even a Lambda origin story in the first place, but at this point I think that it’d just be a straight up waste of time if it’s not. That basically feels like the entire purpose of Gou/Sotsu’s existence right now, so if it’s all some sort of elaborate troll, then that just feels like it’d make EVERYONE pissed off. It’d obviously annoy the Umineko fans who like the idea of this being a genuine prequel or tie-in of some kind, but for the people on the opposite end who hate that idea, I don’t think they’d appreciate being told ‘I was just spending nearly 50 episodes tricking you into thinking this was something you’d hate, lol’. It just seems like the worst of both worlds.
Also, I’m pretty open to different variants of how they could pull off the specifics of this being a ‘Lambda origin story’. Like, I still think it’d count if this ends up being set after Umineko and is some kind of elaborate reenactment of how Lambda came to be, or whatever. There’s a lot of specific ways it could be executed, but it’d basically just be the same thing at the end of the day.
I know that witch Satoko right now doesn’t have the same sort of personality that Lambda had, but like with how Beatrice went through multiple design iterations that changed her personality, Satoko might just end up going through more development that makes her closer to the Lambda we know in Umineko. There’s also the fact that the end of Umineko already implied that Bernkastel was just ‘playing the villain’ for fun, so Lambda’s whole personality there might have been somewhat manufactured.
I guess at this point I just have to wonder if we’ll see Satoko come up with the name Lambdadelta for herself, lol. Even back in Higurashi we saw how Rika came up with the name Bernkastel, so if they’re really going in this direction, it’d make sense. I know Satoko is still calling herself Satoko by this point, but just a few episodes ago she denied that she was becoming a witch, and now she’s calling herself one, so these things can change, lol.
Anyway, this whole episode ended up being more Umineko-y than I expected. Even aside from the obvious stuff with them using the term witch, the whole fight between the two Satokos in the fragment space was exactly the sort of thing you’d see in Umineko, down to the fact that it was a gun fight like the love trial was. The imagery of the red cracks on the black background, and the entire screen shattering like glass, also felt like it was lifted straight out of Umineko.
Even if it might be kinda cheesy and forced, the monkey brain part of me really likes this stuff, lol.
Come to think of it, I guess this also makes it a lot more likely in hindsight that her classroom panic attack in this arc really was [at least in part] a representation of her two sides clashing. I think she always planned to do it as a recreation of that scene from Tatarigoroshi, but when it actually started her human side bled through and her genuine regret came through as well. I also assume that all the shots in this arc of her looking uncomfortable or depressed, especially around Teppei, were probably also setting up for this. Which I think is fine, but they probably should have been a little more clear about it, since it came across as her just faking everything, and this ended up feeling more sudden than it should have. I get why people would still see it as being sudden and unearned, but I don’t really think so. They probably should have included more stuff like that during the first two arcs of Sotsu, though.
I’m curious to see if I’ll end up being right about my theory that the sword will end up being used as a plot device to completely separate Satoko’s witch self, and maybe Rika’s as well, into their own beings separate from Rika and Satoko in the ‘real world’. It still feels like the only way to have this actually set up for Umineko without having things end in total tragedy for Rika and Satoko in general.
There’s probably a lot more I could say about this episode, but I think this has gone on long enough as it is, lol.
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wild3flow3r · 3 years
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Santa Baby // HS
Hey everyone! It’s been a long time since I posted some writing, but this season I was a part of @goldenbluesuit​ Christmas Song Fic Challenge! It was so much fun and I want to give her a huge thanks for allowing me to participate! Make sure to read all of the other fics in this challenge that have been posted + will be posted in the upcoming days. Without further ado, here’s my piece!
word count: 1.4k
cw: none! just tried to make something sweet :)
In my twenty-five years of life, I never, not once, imagined myself falling into bed with a mall Santa. Let alone one I detested with every fiber of my being. But alas, it was Christmas Eve and even stranger things have happened during the holidays. But honestly, this probably isn’t the strangest thing to have ever happened. This cannot be the first time a mall Santa and his most trusted elf have found themselves in this most uncompromising of positions in the Elf’s flat just a quick cab ride away from Santa’s village.
His lips brush over my jawline before moving down to my neck, his teeth catching on some skin. I feel his hands trying to undo all the knots on the front of my shift. At one point he just starts pulling at them in aggravation, a low groan falling past his lips and onto my skin. I can’t help but laugh, which only earns me a hard squeeze on both sides of my hips.
“You’re being rude,” he mutters. Again I laugh.
“I quite vividly remember somebody stealing my lunch out of the fridge today. Now that was rude.”
He lifts his head up so his green eyes can gaze into mine. The shade of them is darker. If it’s from the lack of light, or from annoyance at me and my dress, or just because of what I feel poking against my thigh under his red trousers, I’m not sure.
“Mabel,” he groans. I am very much dancing on his last nerve now.
“Harry,” I sing-song back. “You should be better at those knots by now, honestly. We’ve been going at this for weeks. You’ve had practice.”
“You mess them up like this on purpose. I know it.”
I met Harry Styles one day in the middle of November when Santa’s village opened for business at our city mall. Originally, he was supposed to be an elf just like me. But then the Santa the mall had hired had fallen ill, and Harry was asked to step up in replacement. He very much did not look like Santa, even with the beard and glasses he was forced to wear, but the children, and their parents, loved him so much, for reasons I could never comprehend, even with being with him as I am now. And because he was such a hit, the mall asked him to step in as Santa permanently.
Even from the first moment I met him, I knew no good would come of him. First off, green eyes were my weakness. But then he opened up that big dumb mouth of his and made fun of my (handmade but mall approved) elf costume. Well, now that costume was making fun of him.
“This feels like something that could end you up on the naughty list.”
With a big roll of my eyes, I kick the elf boots off my feet, hearing the bells on them jingle when they hit the ground.
Another check off on why I found him so detestable. He took his job way too seriously. And not as in he actually thought of himself as Santa, but more the power dynamic between Santa and his elf. Often times I was the punchline to a joke he was making to a child and their parent. All harmless, of course, but they wound their ways under my skin until I was ready to burst with annoyance. And the constant references on finding myself on the naughty list, if I hadn’t found myself in bed with him nearly every night since the day we met, I would show him what would actually get me on the naughty list. Also, he likes to steal my lunches, a big fault in his personality.
I hadn’t meant to start sleeping with him. We were five days into our working relationship when it happened. He often liked to turn everything into a game. The staring contest was our most popular, but there was also the quiet game, and sometimes even a race on who could get to the cab first. He loves a competition. I, on the other hand, find them rather aggravating, but that’s probably because I usually lose. But I don’t know. One second we were in the breakroom by ourselves having a tough match at the staring contest, and the next his lips were on mine. It was like all this tension I’d been feeling for him was slowly being released. And that night, with one of his arms wrapped around my shoulder as we both laid on our backs, his breath slow and steady with sleep, it was the calmest I’ve felt in a long time. I wanted to do it again, and I guess so did he. So unless one of us really has plans that they cannot cancel, we find ourselves most nights after work at one of our homes. Usually mine, since Harry has a nosey roommate.
“Oh poor me, I’m so worried.”
“Just help me get it off.” His pout is almost adorable. Focus, Mabel.
“Stop eating my lunches. I don’t make them for you.”
“So you did tangle them on purpose!”
I shrug, a smirk playing across my lips. “Someone needs to teach you a lesson. Only good boys get what they ask for.”
He nuzzles his head back against my shoulder, his teeth nipping at my earlobe. “I promise to stop,” he whispers. The smile on his lips gives away his lie.
I hum in response. I push at his shoulders until finally he releases me and falls against the mattress on his back. His fingers brush against the back of my hand before I stand up and head over to the mirror. A knot like this would confuse Harry, but I know the ins and outs of it. It only takes me a few moments to get it free, but Harry still found himself bored waiting. I hear him fiddling around with the radio on my nightstand, landing on a station playing a Christmas Hits countdown. The first few cords of Santa Baby play through the speakers. Kylie Minogue starts to sing just as I turn to face him again.
His eyes grow wide as a shed the dress off my body, now only wearing pale green leggings. No matter how many times he’s seen me naked, he always makes it feel like the first. New. Exciting. Sexy.
He’s been sans his shirt and red coat for a while now, but his red trousers stand at my attention. One moment he’s on the bed, staring, and the next he’s on my like a lion on their prey. He throws me back on the bed before covering my body once more. Now his head travels down from my neck to my chest to my navel, humming along to the song the entire time.
“Been an awful good girl,” he mutters along with Kylie while peppering kisses against my hips as he peels the leggings off.
My fingers brush through his curls. I tug at them lightly before he moves any further down. He looks up at my with a question on his face.
“What’s going to happen after Christmas?” I whisper.
It’s been on my mind this last week. After tomorrow we would no longer be working together. We would no longer be seeing each other. I loate this man in front of me. But also, my heart has grown quite fond of him. And he’s really good with what he does in bed. Like really good. And sometimes he’s funny. Alright, a lot of the time he’s funny. And he really is kind, when he’s not trying to get a rise out of me. But we’d never put a label on this when we first started sleeping together. I don’t know what we are now. I don’t know what we will be. But I’d like to know now, to protect my heart if he decides to leave my life for good in two days.
He comes up again, pressing soft kisses against my lips until I’m smiling. “You don’t think you can get rid of my that easily, do you?”
“We never talked about-”
“I know. “But I’m not going to disappear after tomorrow. You’re too much fun to annoy to do that.”
“Oh shut it,” I mutter.
“With pleasure,” he grins before moving back south.
I don’t know what December 26th will bring, to see whether or not Harry and I have been living in a Christmas induced bubble. I don’t know if we’ll make it to the New Year. Maybe we could make it to Easter. But all I know for certain is right now, with Harry between my legs going as slow and tortuous as he can, and Kylie Minogue asking Santa to hurry down the chimney tonight. Kylie knew what she was talking about.
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reversecreek · 3 years
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clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 
* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )
HISTORY:
cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!
(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.
(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends
cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.
he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.
he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 
that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3
PERSONALITY:
SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares
once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken
probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google
nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it
struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken
ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter
probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....
loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone
ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely
WANTED CONNECTIONS
someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer
ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster
neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....
sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.
let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)
those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......
um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......
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bladekindeyewear · 4 years
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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-06
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♪ HS2 HS2 is baaaaack ♪
♪ HS2bloggin here we gooooo ♪
♪ Structural changes on their team but I don’t caaaaare ♪
♪ Already resooolved myself that its NOOOT gonna beee as good ♪ with inattentiveness to details characters like Terezi forgetting-what-they-used-to-know and an obsession with dwelling on traaageeeDEEE without relief-or-considering how weee’d feeeeeeel~ ♪♪♪ --so just gonna enjoy-what-i-caaaaaan about iiit~ ♪♪♪
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Okay time for bankruptcy
> CHAPTER 11. History's Most Notorious Haters
Let’s see how effectively my perky new lowered-expectations attitude lets me enjoy this comic  *click*
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wut
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Oh.  so is this Dave drawing comics about current events or Regular Calliope doing so for our very first lanky look at her presumably-grown-up-more cherub form
> Knight: Keep it real.
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HOLY SHIT IT’S DAVEBOT AND ARADIA
so we just get to SEE them?!  just like that???  no buildup or anything?  :D
Okay I’m marking out a little that’s a good sign.  Also what a nerdy cop-out to turn the roboteyes into glasses that’s barely passable which is perfect, the rest of his outfit looks pretty cool tho
DAVEBOT: and thats reason four hundred nineteen why despite my mans many accomplishments i will never acknowledge big skateboardings contrived message that tony hawk is the quintessential skater of our generation ARADIA: o_o DAVEBOT: not in these trying times
Good to see Ultimate Dave is being true to form with regards to the core of his personality
DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom
I was with this conversation until the last two lines what the fuck
(I’m reading into it aren’t I, Aradia was trying to be atypically proper -- even though she wouldn’t have the frame of reference to know without being specifically told that “Dave” was considered nickname shorthand for the human name David, and thus if she DID know there’s no reason she’d use it except to troll him -- and Dave’s just mocking her response.  Without any shame about his continued weirdness of calling people Mom, and by without any shame I mean he made the choice EXPLICITLY to intentionally evoke the awkwardness.  Wow I got a lot out of two lines.)
(Oh, also alt!Callie’s true Jade-body incarnation here probably prompted her to start using “David” by example.  There, various mysteries solved via a pile of assumptions probably to be disproven in the next couple lines I read.)
The Knight and the Maid stare at each other briefly, having exchanged enough meaningful glances over their time together to know when to drop it.
Would Time players have an easier time gelling this way, like this particular smoothness?  Dropping it just before it gets weird or excessively irritating?
(Overclasspecting)
ARADIA: i think we have exchanged enough meaningful glances over our time together to know when to drop this DAVEBOT: what i enjoy about our conversations is that you just say things like that
OKAY I SNRK’D AT THAT.  That was funny.
Initially.  And now I’m concerned whether Aradia is being controlled by the narrative-speak, or whether they’re both just humorously referencing the meta-text they can both see, or--
ARADIA: oh is that what you enjoy ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...
WHAT??!?  She’s an Ultimate Self too?!?
Um, okay!  Yeah!  So they’re BOTH just riffing on the narrative then.  But... why would Dave need a robot body to accommodate his Ultimate Psyche without getting sick but Rose not need it?  I can understand Dirk not needing it because the merging of the full breadth of his multiversal individuality gels well with him being a God of the aspect governing the power of his multiversal individuality, but Aradia?
Were the robot bodies not necessary after all, and the sickness Rose suffered and Obama thought Dave would have suffered some sort of ruse?  Are there shenanigans afoot?  (Or are we going with the “troll biology is better” cop-out?)
She knows how this will play out, having undoubtedly tried this joke on her friend in some timeline or another. Their rapport reflects a unique combination of their matching aspects but greatly differing classes. One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.
WH
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WHAT????
PASSIVE SERVANT OF THE ASPECT?!? WHAT THE FUCK
Okay if that means anything like it sounds like I guess my class chart is finally blown up, sure, they only waited (*checks last edit date*) SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS TO BLOW THAT GUESS UP, SURE
Wow.  Okay, I feel some obligation to jump to conclusions and say the whole class chart is wrong, but let me stay strapped in to see if “passive” is as literal as one would expect alt!Callie to mean, or it just means “an active class passive compared to other classes”.  And, serving the aspect?  Oh dammit, now people are gonna come at me advocating a Maid / Page dichotomy about actively serving the aspect versus allowing the aspect to be served... or Page / Maid even, jesus
I wish I had enough energy to have those chats anymore.  I’d rather hold on and see the whole ridiculous chart scheme they have in mind... which is definitely (and hopefully) the one Andrew really drew up at the time and not made up by the staff, even if it throws away plenty of my old work...  I’ll just stop thinking about it and keep reading.
...
--no, I don’t think I can just stop thinking about it yet.  Dammit, brain.
So um.  Maids serving their aspect.  There was a whole “Maids serve” thing going on throughout the whole plot of Homestuck, but despite how prevalent it was, I wrote it off as the story riffing on the classical definition of Maid when the actual stuff Maids accomplished was something different and more specific, just like Knights constantly got riffed on for chivalry and the like.  Furthermore, service seemed like a really shitty class definition, when class definitions are the verbs one uses to interact with reality through Aspects to change the way reality unfolds, and “serving” isn’t really an action that results in change, implying a distinct deficit of agency that I wouldn’t have viewed as fair.  (Especially since you originally think “meant to serve others” and not “meant to serve the aspect”, implying even LESS agency.)  Furthermore, MOST passive classes from their descriptions seem to have a propensity to act “as if by the will of the aspect”, so even with the nuance of “serving the aspect”, devoting an entire class verb to service would just step on the territory of other active/passive class pairs’ passive sides, right?
But... IF we were to take this for granted as what it SEEMS... then concentrating on that angle of “serving the aspect” implies a whole lot more agency than a service class might sound on its surface.  The definition fits with the story better once you contextualize all the Maid-y references to service around Jane, for instance, with the additional idea of “serving Life” by baking prolifically and creating more of its symbols in food and--
--fuck.  “Serving”, like serving to others.  Serving the aspect as its attendant AND serving it out to others that need it.  Maybe this still IS part of the Additive class pair!  Whoa.  :O
Okay okay so, what I/we thought before was:
Create/Add - Maid / Sylph
Destroy/Reduce - Prince / Bard
But “additive” really isn’t an elegant verb compared to the “Destroyer” classes, so... could it be the “Servants” and the “Destroyers”?  Like Maids cleaning up and healing the broken wreckage strewn through the halls by a bratty Prince’s tantrum???
It’d certainly be weird... and it’d CERTAINLY be a wild twist where I was partially wrong in some fascinating ways but not entirely off base?
One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.
And yet, I can’t bet on this being the situation yet; not at all.  First, it relies on the idea that alt!Callie’s explicit narrative here is slightly misleading, which would be a pretty extreme thing to commit to, even for a technical truth like “she was saying it was passive relative to other classes even though it’s technically “active””.  Second... it would mean that Muses are even more wildly defined than the previous insinuation of hers, that the Sylph -- what we thought was the passive additive class -- was not enough like a Muse compared to a Witch.  Muses not being that Additive?  I could grudgingly understand that, but Muses not being anything like passive Servants?!  That would be EXTREMELY weird!
So... there’s not a whole lot of chance that I’m not dramatically wrong somewhere about these classes!  In a way that throws the entire chart into disarray!
I’m... oddly excited?  Huh.
That’s a pretty nice surprise that I actually feel that way.
:)
(Don’t hit me up all at once to discuss this Classpect development over Discord, I’ll still need a few days without talking about Homestuck to recharge as usual.  Like... maybe wait and come at me as a group chat? So I’m not talking about the latest developments separately with everyone?  No that wouldn’t work, how about... guh I dunno, look my outlook’s a little more positive right now but dealing with Homestuck still takes emotional energy okay?)
Okay the rest of this page...
ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face ARADIA: ........ DAVEBOT: waste time DAVEBOT: time ARADIA:............. DAVEBOT: i experience all points of time simultaneously please just say time and make a weird face
This is true.
ARADIA: .................. DAVEBOT: cmon megido youre killing me clocks ticking ARADIA: ... ARADIA: time o_o
The Maid casts a furtive glance around the empty crew quarters, as though to search for someone more sympathetic to her bit.
ARADIA: tough crowd
Dorks.
> ==>
(Lazy fruit-throwing sword-training I won’t bother to screenshot but looks fun)
(I mean, really lazy looking, these people really don’t have Andrew’s knack for action composition that would make the same amount of gif-creation effort feel like a microcosm of the event they’re depicting, unfortunately.  Again, I don’t blame them; Andrew was just too good at it.)
DAVEBOT: ok heres one DAVEBOT: how old do you think you are ARADIA: emotionally? ARADIA: that is a pretty heavy topic DAVEBOT: you know damn well thats not what i meant ARADIA: you know I have been through a lot dave DAVEBOT: ok ARADIA: its just so kind of someone DAVEBOT: ok i get it ARADIA: to finally ask how i feel ARADIA: i am beside myself with emotions ARADIA: i want to open up DAVEBOT: jesus christ ARADIA: shall i open up about my past traumas to you ARADIA: would you enjoy that ARADIA: to think even a frog like me can work through their pain with a dear friend ARADIA: you have truly blessed me on this day dave strider
Is Aradia JUST trolling here or is her Ultimate Self grappling with a ton of real unresolved trauma too that she’s bullshitting around Dave-style?
DAVEBOT: times fun when youre having flies
Okay that’s a damned good frog pun.
Alright now Davebot’s rapping
DAVEBOT: lacking tact i stay stacked while i breach contract DAVEBOT: sacred vows disavowed got divorce fever DAVEBOT: i leave her DAVEBOT: dont look back dont perceive her ARADIA: do you want to talk about it :( DAVEBOT: about what ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind
Goddamnit is DAVE’S ton of real unresolved trauma leaking into his raps unintentionally Dave-style??  I knew we had to address it when we cut to Davebot but how about LESS TRAGEDY IN THIS COMIC MAYBE
DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck
Wh
But she knew what she was doing when she did it she explicitly did it didn’t she?  Epilogues quote:
DAVEBOT: what about your boy DAVEBOT: eyepatches ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move
And then they stepped through the sky hole more or less.  Did like, distracted Ultimate Aradia not realize exactly how long she was leaving Sollux for, ie forever?  Or did she “ascend” to Ultimate status later and hadn’t thought back to the full consequences of her actions within this timeline?  Or both?  From the looks of the link we’ll probably find out on the next pa--
--Wait.  Something else I just thought of, unrelated.
If Aradia is an Ultimate Self, that’s another coincidentally Ultimate version of someone hanging around that happens to be on the prospective list of Soul-Powered Jujus that might have their creation loops closed in the coming story.  Could those two things play into each other somehow?  Like instead of their souls getting stuffed into the items, their “Ultimateness” is?  Or as if that’s a necessary component, or...  no, I’m probably overthinking things.
> (Months in the past, but not many...)
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Uh huh.  Is that flashing because he’s “watching” Aradia leave?  But I thought Aradia SAID she was leaving--
> (==>)
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--and that black hole portal doesn’t look as cool as it sounded in the Epilogues.  But why was Aradia acting surprised, she said “I’ll probably just cut him loose” mere MOMENTS before entering the portal, did she mean “cut him loose” as in “I’m going to talk to him before leaving” and then just IMMEDIATELY forget that she didn’t say anything to him because she cared so little???
Wait.  Waaaait wait wait.  I think.  I think maybe I missed some subtext.  Lemme do some fuller quotes here:
ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move
His gaze remains fixed on her. She blinks and looks away, unsure what to say next. He’s standing perfectly still, presumably waiting for her to say something. She met him... what was it? Once, twice before? She can’t remember. But she knows this is a very different Dave. Aside from the metal skin, he seems implacably confident. But then, people go through changes. She’s been through more than her share. She cocks an eyebrow, recalling her own stint with a metal body.
DAVEBOT: hey earth to whats your face ARADIA: oh ARADIA: its aradia
[...]
DAVEBOT: youre coming DAVEBOT: better decide quick i doubt that dank fuckin hell funnel is staying open for much longer ARADIA: yes i suppose so ARADIA: thats where all the action is right? DAVEBOT: all the action that matters yeah ARADIA: off we go then :) DAVEBOT: word
He holds out his hand. She looks around, and assumes he means for her to take it, so she does. She didn’t know someone could fly this fast. He nearly yanks her arm out of its socket. She considers reminding him that maybe this isn’t necessary, since she can fly too. But she doesn’t want to risk saying more embarrassing stuff around this outrageously cool dude. Besides, they’re through the wormhole before she can even finish the thought. It vanishes the moment they’ve crossed.
...this was a SHIPPING thing wasn’t it.  She’s impressed as hell with Striderbot, she SAID she’d cut things off with Sollux, and then she was so busy being swooped off her feet and into the portal that she forgot to actually say anything to him.  Is that what happened????
Ultimate Self Davebot x Ultimate Self Aradia.  Huh.  Didn’t see that coming.  (Though, again... they could make it SLIGHTLY clearer that this wasn’t just a blatant continuity error.)
Anyway, a rare-don’t-get-used-to-it [S] page...
> [S] (Gaze.)
...Okay that was kinda funny.
> (==>)
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SOLLUX: h0w the fuck am i g0ing t0 get d0wn fr0m here.
HAH!  Okay, he’s taking it pretty well.  :)  --and THAT’s what she realized she forgot, giving him a flight down from the tower before leaving.
GOOD.  KEEP THINGS HUMOROUS EVEN WHEN LITERAL ABANDONMENT IS HAPPENING.  THAT’S the Homestuck I was missing.  :)  :)  :)
> Back to reality.
(Since the black hole is outside “canon” reality.)
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Those are some cool poses-AHAH JESUS CHRIST ALT!JADE YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING XD
COULD YOU MAYBE HAVE CLEANED UP THE DRIED BLOOD AT SOME POINT OR IS SOME OF THAT FRESH FROM EATING MORE RAW MEAT
(Lord English’s blood leaving permanent timeless bloodstains would be a cool new thing to squeeze into canon i admit, i wouldn’t blame them for taking the excuse even if you could find small canon counterexamples I’m not sure of but dimly think might exist)
((ALSO SHE’S GONNA BE TINY NEXT TO THEM I DUNNO IF THAT MAKES IT MORE TERRIFYING OR LESS, PROBABLY MORE))
DAVEBOT: so youre telling me you dont even feel a little bad that you ditched him to be a weird death acolyte ARADIA: no i think he found my wiles both charming and irresistible DAVEBOT: not even an ounce of guilt or self doubt huh DAVEBOT: just like that DAVEBOT: no conversations about the greater good DAVEBOT: no revelations about your feelings
Is Aradia a jerk or weird?  Can’t decide.
ARADIA: do you often find your faith in yourself shaken like this or is it a new experience now that your mortal coil has been left behind DAVEBOT: what ARADIA: do you think now that all that is left of you is a literal ghost inside of a machine you are more or less likely to embrace finality DAVEBOT: oh dope more cult of one shit DAVEBOT: immortality changed you ARADIA: could it be that you are projecting your feelings onto my situation DAVEBOT: does not compute rose jr ARADIA: ... ARADIA: we dont have to talk about it DAVEBOT: thanks
Wow, I actually can’t follow this conversation at all.  Let me stare at it for a sec...
...okay, the first part she’s talking about DAVE’s faith in HIMself being shaken, not her own.  She’s not asking if he relates to HER experience, she’s contrasting it.
Then, asking if he’d be more likely to embrace death, or... Time?  Death.  Whether his self-worth has changed because he might view himself as “less real”, something Aradia doubtless struggled with when she was a robot who already had so many excuses to devalue herself at the time?  And then Dave talks about “cult of one” shit what does that even mean-...
OH.  Like she’s a death cult.  Gooot it.  Because Aradia’s of the position that death and ending should be celebrated, and Davebot understandably isn’t entirely bought in.  This is as hard to parse down as one would EXPECT conversations between two Ultimate Selves to be hard to parse down, unlike Rose and Dirk where their insane missions and glaring flaws shine bright enough through it all that you can follow their conversation flow easily.
JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them
Alt!Callie pulling a narrative-text AFTER a talk-identifier like “JADE:” is really hilarious in my opinion.
JADE: i do not need your approval. the story will continue how it must. DAVEBOT: beep boop hater detected ARADIA: wow is that true JADE: i am not a hater. DAVEBOT: classic hater line DAVEBOT: i know this because i am pouring through genuine actual quadrabytes of information on historys most notorious haters JADE: no, you aren’t.
Pffffff. This is pretty fun.
DAVEBOT: you are the exact opposite of a hater ARADIA: a liker DAVEBOT: ok DAVEBOT: perfect example your tolerance for whatever is going on with DAVEBOT: all this ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery ARADIA: observing our every action and noting its relevance :) DAVEBOT: uh huh thats what i mean
I was gonna note “liker” as additive for pointless classpect purposes, but really more quoting it just because I really enjoy this conversation.  I’m starting to get sold on the chemistry of these two a lot faster than I expected.
JADE: even though I understand that it must happen, i am growing frustrated with the direction of this conversation. DAVEBOT: do you want to talk about something else stinky JADE: what would you suggest?
How long has that dried fucking blood been on her
DAVEBOT: ok hear me out DAVEBOT: kanaya DAVEBOT: but like DAVEBOT: wearing huge jorts
That explains Homestuck’s twitter earlier
> Weeks in the future, relative to the original point of interest...
Wait wait which point of interest?  This time we were just viewing? *click*
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I love what must be this shitty imagination-ship they’re using to cross the substrate of reality
> ==>
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Whoaaaa.  So they DIDN’T stay in those outfits for long?  It showed them in a bunk bed earlier, it showed CallieJade still going around blood-covered afterward-- dammit, I’m having a hard time gauging exactly how much time is supposed to have passed between their entry into the black portal, their earlier conversation, and this moment.  And as likely as some are to call this poor scene composition, I can’t think it’s anything but intentional, given we’re dealing with a couple of Ultimate Time players bullshitting with each other.
Moments like these are not rare, and serve a valuable function to the story. They are able to show a passage of time with the bulk of the emotional labor of a lengthy bonding process happening off screen. How did we get here? What have they been through? These questions are often better left open to individual interpretation and can give the one interpreting a sense of ownership of the story.
See?  We’re being trolled is why.  (Even if the authors are pulling the trick Alt!Callie describes maybe a little too damn often, because a cut like this where we’re supposed to fill in the emotional gaps and intervening events ourselves as readers depends on readers’ faith that sensible events and decisions for these characters would OCCUPY the gaps, as if readers don’t have faith that what intervenes WOULD make sense to their understanding of the characters the way the authors are writing them... it just seems like an excuse to do whatever you want without adequately explaining yourself, when in reality if you’d spelled out the events that led to it we’d all cry foul at the mischaracterization.)
...okay, maybe I’m a BIT bitter.  Sorry.  Where were we?
JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!
The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption.
She doesn’t talk much, then?  Too busy doing whatever talking you’d do as your other possessed Jade body?  Just how temporally related is you controlling THIS Jade compared to when you were controlling the other?  When that Jade pegged you as enjoying contact with friends, are these two just not enough for you, or did you “experience” the trips entirely separately?  I don’t THINK the alt!Callie possessing either Jade is a separate entity from the other, but...
Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.
She pissed
...also, “the attendant”.  Even if “serve” is really the verb here, that phrasing really irks me as if she’s talking down to her.  Which, I mean, makes sense for alt!Callie’s character, but doesn’t make me feel better about this new definition being foisted on us.
ARADIA: :( JADE: as a point of order, you never answered dave’s question. ARADIA: which one he is very chatty JADE: you experience time in a way that is woefully unfamiliar to me and it has... piqued my curiosity enough to learn more. ARADIA: ?_? DAVEBOT: shes asking how old you are
Wait a minute, is Alt!Callie asking a question about a dropped topic from WEEKS ago?!  And is Davebot so in touch with Time and the meta ordering of topics that he actually CAUGHT ON that fast to what she was actually wondering about?????
This is getting more disorienting by the minute.
ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant
THAT LAST PART IS FUCKING IMPORTANT.  It’s being brought up intentionally to tell us that JOHN’S DEAD BODY can still be in the wallet Terezi’s carrying around RIGHT NOW without having decayed over the past years.  I remember remarking in SOME previous HS^2 liveblog post of mine that I was alarmed by the decay that would have happened there (can’t find my remark on short notice and don’t really care to), so this explicitly dismisses it so we won’t be surprised by the fact that she could keep it in just-dead condition.
DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.
[...]
ARADIA: oh maybe a few hundred years or so DAVEBOT: what JADE: what? ARADIA: well if i had known you were going to be so judgy about it DAVEBOT: when did this happen ARADIA: oh i spent some time in other doomed realities and timelines and came back before anybody could tell i was gone
Hm!
We knew she spent a LONG time in the dream bubbles, enough to talk to “pretty much all of the Nepetas”, but she was actually able to access a universe or universes and hop between them?  That’s not something any time traveller we’ve seen has been explicitly able to do intentionally before, quite like she’s describing.
DAVEBOT: oh just out for a bit of fun then DAVEBOT: just hopped on over to a different reality DAVEBOT: real casual like DAVEBOT: oh hello dont mind me just popping in to see if it really is as doomed as they say it is DAVEBOT: did not disappoint ARADIA: yes almost exactly like that :) DAVEBOT: who did you hang out with are they cooler than me ARADIA: it is complicated to explain DAVEBOT: oh ok nevermind then DAVEBOT: all clear
Yep, he’s kinda bewildered.  Is this Pesterquest stuff she’s referring to?  Did she stop by Pesterquest?
DAVEBOT: a whole alternate universe ripe with the coolest motherfuckers imaginable ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude
Ah!  Yeah, almost certainly Pesterquest.  (Still haven’t played that and have little inclination to now that I’m more sure we aren’t being gaslit with intentional continuity errors, just disappointed by actual continuity errors.)  Oh!  And that makes a bit more sense because I imagine that’s Black Hole territory, and that territory outside of Canon seems pretty rich and easy for time-travellers to hop between stories and timelines willy-nilly.  As they’re apt to in fanfics, which is the most appropriate way for things to be in that realm!
DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen DAVEBOT: but im an altruist first and fucking foremost ARADIA: so selfless JADE: yes, the greater narrative is truly blessed by your beneficent presence. DAVEBOT: oh so you got jokes now huh JADE: i have always had the ‘jokes’ of which you speak, but i have heretofore exercised restraint in laying you low. JADE: i possess knowledge of many of your iterations, as the scope of my powers allows me to exist in several narrative structures at once. DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)
I’m actually really enjoying this conversation
JADE: its cultural significance to you as an earthling is wasted on the two of us entirely, as we have not conflated the misguided notion of clinging to nostalgic cereal advertisement trivia with socially relevant conversation.
Pff she literally checked her meta notes just now to learn what the cereal ads were after admitting she didn’t know what it meant and pretending not to care
> ==>
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Oh, closer look at Davebot.  Are those actual SHAPED shades over his robotic eye bulges?  Weird, I thought it was just a lazy line drawn between them with red sharpie at first, Sans style.  That would’ve been funny.
> ==>
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Ohh, I get it.  I was gonna say that was an unwarranted reaction... but he just realized that the Time-wait puns will be coming from BOTH his shipmates from now on.  That’s gotta be a downer.  :)
> ==>
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HOLY
FUCKING
SHIT
IS ALT-CALLIE LAUGHING!??!?!?!??
That’s REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!!  SHE’S ALREADY LAUGHING OCCASIONALLY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY
“BEST NARRATOR” COFFEE CUP
SHE’S ADORABLE
> ==>
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Ah, was that Jade kicking you out?  Or just the multiverse punishing you for being briefly happy :(
--oh, end of the update.  Guess that’s it for now!
...
Alright I know I’m A BIT BEHIND on covering the HS2 commentary,
But
I really would rather wait on that a bit longer if that’s alright.  Real busy and stressful week or two.  (Found out my hair is starting to thin noticeably at age 31!  Quite suddenly, too.  Blood test looks fine so it’s nothing serious... gonna see a doctor to check if anything can be safely done about that, it’s really hurting my self-esteem more than I thought it would.  Didn’t think it would hit my emotions that hard when it eventually happened, knew it was likely but not so SOON... really messing with my anxiety every time I accidentally touch my hair, now.  I’ll deal with it.)
If I sound really aimless in this post, I think it’s cause I am?  My mental and emotional energy’s REALLY drained.  I’m glad that June/July break in HS^2 happened when it did, and I’m definitely glad there’s apparently plenty in HS^2 I can really enjoy, if this update is anything to go by.  Maybe this comic can help lift me up instead of knocking me down.  :)
See y’all later!  More Patreon commentary blogging catchup after some other upd8.
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ardenttheories · 4 years
Note
I don't expect a super serious answer from this, but I'm just curious. in a perfect world, how would hs^2 be written? do you have any particular headcanons or plot lines that would be interesting to explore? I understand the hesitation in answering a question like this, because other people might try to discredit your critiques under the guise of "well its not ur headcanons so that's why ur mad". anyways, just curious because I respect your perspective and ideas
In complete honesty? The first thing I would consider vital is a diverse team of people - genuinely diverse - to consider every point of representation with. I’m talking people of different races (to avoid the anti-black coding of Gamzee), with mental illnesses (to avoid the ableism in both Gamzee and Dirk), with different gender identities (to more accurately and healthily portray Jade, Roxy, Vriska, June - any character we could feasibly want to make trans or nonbinary), with different romanticisms and sexualities (so that we could write genuine MLM and WLW relationships without falling into homophobic pitfalls; to avoid biphobic stereotypes), and overall, with different traumatic experiences and triggers (so that we could more accurately gauge what triggers would need to be tagged and how to go over them in an appropriate and respectful manner).
We could never be 100% perfect, but with a team like that, we could at least get close to it. 
Additionally, I’d bring back either fan prompts or closely listen to fan theories and conversations. Homestuck^2 was touted to be written with the fandom in mind; to consider the direction we were asking it to go in, while basing it around a general barebones structure. I’d want to make sure we were including as much of that in as humanly possible. So, if a fan theory seemed like it’d fit into the story? I’d want to include that with the rest of the text; if the fans liked a specific character? I’d want to try and include them more often. Little things to show that we’re listening and that we’re writing the story WITH the fans - like how early Homestuck used to be.
On an actual storyline basis, I really do love the concept of Meat and Candy; that there’s one timeline that goes off the rails and one that is very rigidly stuck to a track. I wouldn’t want to change that concept entirely, but I would want to make it more palpatable for people to read. 
This would mean, for me, absolutely getting rid of anything to do with Yiffany. I’d completely replace that with Dave and Jade having a child together via ectobiology; how Jade has to raise their child in Dave’s absence after he goes missing, how that affects her, who she turns to for comfort and help. 
I’d want to focus Candy more on that feeling of helplessness and dissociation. On John feeling adrift in a world that doesn’t quite connect with him, that doesn’t entirely feel real; how that would affect his relationships, his friends, his family. In this timeline, all of the rebellion stuff would be completely background to the interpersonal connections everyone has (the things that supposedly don’t matter, as is the point of Candy), with much more emphasis on how useless and frivolous the whole war is. It’d get to a point where nobody actually knows why they’re fighting anymore except for the fact that they are, and that even Jane, who started it out of a genuine fear for the human race, is getting tired of it, is losing resources, is starting to realise that she’s drifting away from her own child. 
A truce would be garnered, started by Jane who just very much wants to reconnect with her son, with Karkat taking on the role as troll emissiary. It features long talks in a large, empty room, pouring over papers, where Jane admits that she doesn’t actually know what anyone is up to these days, how long it’s been since she’s seen her husband, since she’s seen John, and Karkat quietly confesses that it’s been several years since he’s seen Dave or Jade, and that he misses them both. 
After that, a lot of the content of Candy would focus on healing. They would get back to their happily ever after, even though some things would never be the same, and there would still be inconsequentialities. It would also correspond with John coming to the slow realisation that he really doesn’t need a plot to be happy at all; that just because it doesn’t matter to the overarching story doesn’t mean it can’t matter to him. 
The Candy timeline, therefore, would close early; it would fade from our view just as Dirk feared, but it would be happy and content, and free from any further meddling. I’d essentially want to enforce this idea that, yes, we can still have happy endings - even if they aren’t “full of meaning”. They can still be satisfying.
The Meat timeline, on the other hand, would have a significant focus on Dirk and his attempts to continue the plot. I think it would be fun, admittedly, if nothing went the way he thought it would. That after all of his villany and his acceptance of destruction in order to facilitate something he thought would be better, he actually just lost complete and utter control. 
The plot isn’t something that he alone can continue. It’s created with character conflict, with motivations and rises and falls and losses and gains; trying to recreate SBURB, to try and restart the cycle, isn’t what a plot needs to be. It isn’t what he thinks it will do. 
I’m unsure if you’ve seen this recently, but there’s been a lot of fanwork around the Lord!Jake English idea that went around several years back (when people saw the Caliborn sona). Now, this I’d want to put into it. 
Jake, fed up with being stepped on, walked over, hurt, suffering from the trauma of being completely and utterly ruined by Dirk, absolutely flips shit. He chases after Dirk to seek revenge, to cut short whatever bullshit he’s trying to do, and therefore much of the comic becomes this constant back and forth with an increasing fear for Dirk the closer Jake gets as he traverses Paradox Space.
It’s very much clear that when Jake arrives, Dirk will lose. There’s no question about it. Nobody suggests that anything else will happen. There’s several arguments on Meat’s Earth C over whether or not they should try to stop Jake, or let him stop Dirk - and whether or not Jake will calm down afterwards or continue his rampage. 
In the end, Dirk fails. Jake catches up to him, and just before he hits the killing blow, the entire thing goes dark. Our narrator dead, the plot abandoned; there is nothing more to see. This I would want to use to enforce the idea that, yes, plot can still be satisfying as hell and still have integral moments and be heavy and harsh - but it can also end in a way that leaves open questions because that shows that it isn’t the best ending you can get. 
And then we jump back to Terezi, using her Seer powers. Both timelines have been her trying to use her powers to See what’s in store, where she should go, what she should do. She’s still floating through Paradox Space, looking for Vriska, and as such she’s met with this... sort of internal dilemma. 
She knows, now, that the chances of her dying out here are high. She also knows that even if she does survive, she’s pretty much never going to see Vriska again anyway. She knows there’s a chance at a happier relationship with John, and that the only way she can get that is if she somehow manages to make a timeline where Meat and Candy merge together at once. 
So, she flies back. She manages to arrive on Earth C the day of John’s big decision, and interrupts him before he can go to the picnic. Through their dialogue, John gets it stuck in his head that, hey, there’s something BIGGER out here that you need to do, but you need to do that amazing thing again where you make a third Choice.
When John arrives at the picnic, he decides to eat some of the pumpkin instead - to which you might be thinking, what pumpkin? The one he put there, of course, using his retcon powers.
So we start on the Pumpkin timeline, written entirely in the 1st person narrative from John’s POV. It’s a completely biased interpretation of what’s going on, but it’s honest to John’s own thoughts and feelings, too, allowing everyone to act the way they usually would do without any influence, but still having a narrative touch. 
It shows John actively fighting to free the timeline from Dirk’s and Alternate Calliope’s narrative controls, those little hooks they’ve planted in it since time began, with a lot of back-and-forth as the two talk to John through the narration (which, he hears their voices as thoughts in his head). 
John attempts to free them both from their own biases and chains, encouraging Alternate!Calliope to leave the space she’s isolated herself in and join Earth C while convincing Dirk to undo the bullshit villain schtick he’s on (and that plot or no plot, there’s still a reason worth living for). 
It’d be a timeline filled with references back to original Homestuck (and funny quips from both Alternate!Calliope and Dirk along the way), a lot of morality discussion, plenty of theorising on narrative control and arcs and the placement of plot and fluff in a satisfying story, and have plenty of representation and romance and hints towards kids, too (such as nonbinary RoxyJaneCallie, DaveJadeKat, aromantic Jake, JohnDirk [because I couldn’t stop myself, honestly, with how their Classpects work so well hand in hand], and definitely RoseMary being the first to adopt a child that they absolutely do not call Vriska). 
It’d fill plotholes the fandom wants to be filled, and it’d have drama, of course, in the form of figuring out a way to destroy Lord English that doesn’t inherently lead to the Candy timeline. But it’d go back and forth between the heavy, plot-filled moments and the slower, relationship-based moments, with more humanising and development of Dirk and Alternate!Calliope and John as rounded characters.
That’s the best my tired mind can come up with right now. It’s something I’ve daydreamed about a lot, actually; how I’d rewrite Homestuck^2, or what my own ending to Homestuck would be using it as a foundation. I hope it makes sense! It’s a fun little thought experiment, honestly.
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Survey #321
i’m exploring the deepest recesses of tumblr to unearth super old surveys, so you can expect an onslaught of ‘em.
When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower? I drive the same speed, even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? My sister's place. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you? No; only my parents and immediate sisters live here. Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like? Especially where I live, fried chicken. It's disgusting. Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Numerous, actually. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have a driver's license, never mind anything else. What job does you significant other have? I’m single. When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school? I did my homework right away; well, after having a snack. After that, I was most likely on the computer playing Neopets or Webkinz, or something on the PlayStation. Is your favorite movie part of a series? Yes. Have you ever played in a water puddle? Sure, as a kid. I loved that. Have you ever played in a mud puddle? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain? Yes. He did it purely to be romantic, lol. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain? No, thank fuck. Have you ever had to attend summer school? No. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C? Yikes, no, not that high. The highest we usually get is below 110. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate? Hot. It sucks. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”? No. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them? Oh, absolutely as a kid. Dad would rake a pile just for us kids. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot? At least once, yes. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, where the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally? Yep, especially when I visited Sara and we went on a walk. It was fucking outrageous. Safe to say I didn't last long on that walk. Has your/or have you been in a car that was stuck in a snowstorm? No. What does your MySpace profile look like? I haven't seen it since that site was still "a thing." I do remember, however, that it was COVERED in meerkats, haha. Pictures, facts, etc. And my page song was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmao. Do you like living in the country or city better? Country, 100%. I'm not a city gal by any means. Do you have a big backyard? No, it's very small. Not used to that at all. What is your favorite Adam Sandler movie? I don't know, he's in too many to choose lmao. What was the last thing that surprised you? Apparently a rocket crashed today after launch. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. I... didn't even know those existed lmao I feel dumb. Who was the last person that said something that warmed your heart? I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain my niece or nephew would be involved there, haha. What is your favorite park? I don't have one. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you believe anyone is asexual? ???????????? Yes???????????? Were you abused? No. Have you ever missed a deadline? Yeah. Can you tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart in pictures? I haven't seen them in an eternity, idk. Describe your fondest memory: I don't really want to... but I'll entertain the question. It's hard to choose, and they just about all include Jason. I think what I hold closest though was our dance to "Stairway to Heaven" after prom in the headlights of his car in my front yard. It's something that physically hurts to remember. What song makes you cry every time you hear it? Let's set aside my "trigger songs" for this. "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade does it very easily. How often do you break your promises? I almost never do. I don't bullshit around with promises. I've only ever broken ones I'd forgotten I'd made, if my memory serves me right. How long do you take in the shower, on average? Not even 10 minutes. Do you have your MySpace/Facebook profile set to a "friends only" setting? Yes. Did your last kiss mean anything? Why or why not? Of course it did. I care very, very deeply for her. Are your summers usually boring and relaxing, or busy and interesting? "Summers are hot and miserable." <<<< mood Tell me a crazy thing you did as a child. I don't really think I did anything "crazy" as a child, just weird. Like pretending to be a father penguin arranging rocks to mock a nest. I was fuckin weird. How many best friends do you have? One. When you’re upset, who do you wanna talk to the most? Either Sara, Mom, or nobody. Opinion on Daughtry? They're nice. "No Surprise" is positively beautiful. Do you like country music? Noooooo. What’s been the most awkward situation you've been in? Okay, possible TMI. Basically, Jason's parents arrived home way, way earlier than they were supposed to and my panicky ass couldn't find my clothes quickly, and when I finally did, I had to dress as quickly as possible in his tiny-ass closet while he distracted his mom and dad lmfao. I'ma just say it was a very close call to me melting into a mortified puddle. I look back on it and laugh now, but the absolute, throbbing fear I felt was NOT funny back then lmfao. Don’t you love that feeling when you look at someone and you just melt? <3 That is genuinely one of the best feelings in the entire world. Do you prefer male or female singers? I have no preference. So what are you planning for this summer? Nothing, really... Who knows where the Covid situation will be then. What’s a good book? In general for absolutely anyone, Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It is a book about pacifism that is so very deep and emotional. For women, I highly recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. As a woman myself, the concept of the book is terrifying, to be reduced to reproduction machines without rights, so it's something you can really feel as a female. It's a book that definitely makes you want to fight for women's rights. Is it awkward for you when your parents talk to you about boys etc… No. I'm a grown woman. Now if she asked about my sex life (if I had one), I'd feel a bit weird, but not very. Do you like it when guys play with your hair? Yeah. Ever cried when you had to say goodbye to someone? Well of course. Over multiple people. Have your parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Indeed. Do you have a blood donor’s card? Yep. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? I had to before surgery. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No. What kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? It was via phone, but I talked with my psychiatrist a few days ago. Does your ex still think about you? I'm sure Sara and Girt do, as they're my good friends, but idk if either think of me romantically. I would hope Jason at least remembers me with some degree of care in his heart... As for Juan, Aaron, and Tyler, idk if they do and I don't really care. What has been bothering you a lot lately? My weight. Are you trustworthy? I think so, yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? Yeah, but it definitely depends on the situation. Which literary character would you dress up as, if you had to choose one? Speaking of The Handmaid's Tale, for Halloween one year, I really, really want to take some cool photos of me dressed as a handmaid with a (obviously fake) blood splatter over my stomach. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Being born with the mom I have, probably. I have no idea. None. Of where I'd be without her. Do you miss college? Sigh, sometimes... but I'm not going back. No chance. Dropping out three times due to my mental state hints at a clear pattern. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? Yeah, accidentally. Except with my physical science teacher in HS that eventually became my "other mom" and most recently our landlord, even. I call her "Mama" sometimes. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? It was a wolf whose name I don't remember. What color was your nursery when you were a baby? No clue. What is your favorite arcade game? I desperately wanna go to a location that has Silent Hill: The Arcade. :/ That's on my bucket list. It's very rare. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don’t have any plants to water. What is your favorite fall drink? I don't drink any "fall" drinks. Favorite winter drink? Hot chocolate! Favorite spring drink? There are "spring" drinks? Favorite summer drink? Gimme a nice, cold margarita. Name three creative people you know. Sara, Tez, and Mini are some of the most creative people I've ever written with. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Mark in like a million different ways, I look up greatly to Jeffree Star's work ethic (say what you will about him personally, but holy shit does mama WORK), and Emzotic for her incredible growth after trauma that's left her more confident than ever, and she's amazing with animals and just a darling overall. Does anyone know who your current crush is? Yeah, I'm pretty open about it. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully, no. Which song describes your life? I relate to "Get Up" by Mother Mother a lot at this point in my life. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? Probably because I open up so slowly/am very secretive of myself when someone might be trying to get close. People have also criticized my laziness. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? YouTube. At least I think Tez was the last person I gave my number to. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Hunter, my neighbor growing up. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My therapist. I had to leave group due to severe abdominal cramping. It was just my period, but he just wanted to check. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a soda back when I was still in school. Has anyone given you butterflies recently? Actually yeah; I had a memory of Sara that caused 'em to revisit me. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I'm going to exclude my puppy-dog crush (Dylan) and talk about my first "real" crush, Sebastian. I liked him because we had very similar interests, he was really friendly, nice, and funny, and he clearly trusted me a lot because he actually confided in me regarding the relationship he was in that was struggling and causing him a lot of pain. I thought he was attractive, too. Ngl, I wonder sometimes where we could have gone if he hadn't been dating the girl, because I'm 90% sure he was into me, too. In current times, he very recently got engaged! Super happy for him. Which parent do you identify with the most? My ma. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Scrambled eggs, I guess. That's just about all I CAN make, haha. My family likes 'em. I always use American cheese, salt, pepper, and a bit of hot sauce. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Admitting I RP. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Of actually important things, gay rights. If we're talkin' passionate about anything, then the answer's meerkats, duh. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? A rival photographer that lives here. I absolutely hate admitting that, but yeah, I'm extremely envious of her. She gets way more traffic than I do by a long shot, even though I, from a completely modest and honest standpoint, genuinely think I do better work than her. It's just frustrating. All about who you know in this business. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Supposedly our milk expired on the 1st, but it smells just fine? And mind you, I am very cautious with expiration dates, and I've found milk typically starts to smell bad a few days earlier than the date to me. This jug is an outlier. What are your favorite style of underwear? I'm a fat old lady that likes high-waisted underwear. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Maybe "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper. I could name tons, though. How about the sweetest song? Maybe "Easy to Love You" by Theory of a Deadman. Another song I struggle to listen to because it was one of mine and Jason's "songs." Do you know how to play dominoes? No. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? Not in the least. Why or why not? I'm just wasting time. Doing nothing with true meaning, and I seem unable to get over this low point I'm in. How many bones have you broken? One. Well, I was told "fractured," but apparently that's the same thing as broken? Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah, multiple things. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Animals like cats or dogs. Pets, basically. I would feel WAY too weird. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? If I'm embarrassed by it, why would I share it with whoever reads these? What is the most important memory you have and why? When I decided it was truly time to move on from Jason. Why that's my most important is obvious: it changed my mindset and life in general. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? God, I hope Jason read my apology email I last sent him. I finally accepted I did wrong, too, and I want to know that he knows that. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My youngest niece's first birthday was mid-February. What’s a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? The violin. Do you play that instrument? I wish I could. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) Just spaghetti noodles, ig. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Who sent the last e-mail you got? My PHP therapist sent me the Zoom link to our group session. Do you have a favorite shape? Out of basic ones, circles. What’s the last song you bought/downloaded? I don't recall. Probably something by 3TEETH. Have you ever been on a trapeze? Hell nah. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine’s Day when it goes on sale? No. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I met a poet at the psych hospital once. I also have an old friend who had something published in a magazine, I think. Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but I'd love to to take more ~aesthetic~ photographs sometimes. What is something you think is underrated? Snakes! :( They're not scary or gross, nor do they in any way deserve to be killed. I wish the worth of snakes was seen much more clearly. They are spectacular, intriguing animals. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Once it hits like 65*F, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I hope beyond hope that I have a job I enjoy. And that I'm driving again. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? I used to loooove video editing, but I've lost all motivation for it. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Somewhere we have this one stretchy thing that I have no idea what it's called, then there are two sets of small weights somewhere. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? New York. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, ya can't go more east in NC unless you want to drive into the ocean... lol. West? Illinois. If you have/want children, will you raise them similar to the way you were raised? If I had kids, I would in some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Nothing strange, no. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't know. Not very high. Do you have an ebook reader? (iPad, Kindle, etc.) No. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? 2017, ig. What is the last random act of kindness you did? I guess you could consider a loving text to Sara a random act of kindness?
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shesawriter39049 · 5 years
Text
BTS -HS-HEADCONS
(Slightly NSFW ) ..JUST A LIL
Mkay ..disclaimer this is all in good FUN, I’m also a fellow 94 liner, so if the boys were in the US, we would’ve been in HS together!
This is Obv very Westernized and I’m writing this as if they aren’t the art school AU’s people typically write
(EDITED 8/5/2020)
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Jimin-
-A whole thot thot, I mean don’t get me wrong he’s a total sweetheart but he’s still a walking  thirst trap, no cap, no filter! He’s kinda ”famous” on social media(Prob like 15-20k) Snap, IG, FB, you name it...for some reason he always seems to work out shirtless. LOVES to take pics so you KNOW he worked out shirtless!
-Please don’t let any form of R&B play at a party...It’s a wrap, what you tryin to see? Some grind work? A little hip roll action? You want a lap dance? Tongue out and all! The Asian alllll the black girls girls love(Obviously not just black girls but lets be real..it takes a certain...appeal..and Jimin has it!) 
- Gives off that whole “My dad owns, about 5 nail salons and beauty supplies in the hood” kinda vibe! (Meaning hes comfortable around different walks of life,he doesn't feel out of place easily, hes the type of person that everybody can gravitate towards) The boy has swag and he knows it…got everybody from Megan to Brian thirsty as all hell! 
-Will win best hair his senior year..without a doubt, well if he doesn't fry it first!... Looks like a walking Pantene commercial, yes, more so because he can’t go two seconds without running his fingers through his scalp!
-KING of subtle shade...knows all the tea but acts like he doesn't as he slowly sips his Starbucks. The type to honestly forget he’s told 3 different girls they could wear his jersey/Letterman jacket! Until they all text him Thursday night ....
-A jock that’s cool with everybody! The type to cuss out his fellow athletes that are total dick wads and bully people... I feel like he’d be a damn good running back, he has the right height a muscle build up for it. 
-Owns a pair of buffs, don't lie to yourself you know you could see it too...wears skinny jeans with Timberland's 😒, still wears 3878374 rings. Believe it or not he gives me like Tilly’s/Zumiez/PacSun vibes!
-Drives a red obnoxiously loud scat pack that’s tinted way past the legal shade! He drifts on the weekends. Jimin would be your local plug IDC,IDC,IDC...LOL I said what I said, got a whole eighter hiding in a fake bottle of orange juice!
- Just flirting his way through high school living his best life… will fuck someone up if need be, has a slight temper, sassy as hell, can roll his eyes with the best of them. ”Would it be ...too extra if I changed outfits and dates during the dance?..Serious question guys! ” 
- He’d be the one that all the girls say gives the best head ...I mean..those lips..that tongue..HELLO! Stroke game on point...I feel like he’d have no filter when it comes to talking about sex publicly. No shame, loves to tease you, at the worst times, down to sneak off to the bathroom, or the janitors closet! Will bend you over behind the bleachers after they win a football game...if your down...gang, gang!
Namjoon-
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-An Asian with light skin tendencies ...the one that low key may think he’s black (I’m joking!! lmao,,,maybe) 
-He’s that one person that legitimately everyone likes...no matter how hard you may try..you just can’t dislike him! 
-He actually is class president!
-Hangs out with all the basketball players and has the freshest Jordans..but can’t hoop! He’s on the school newspaper..writes the sports column...is still that free spirit telling you to live your best damn life.  
-Either looks like he’s going to a business meeting or like he just picked out damn near everything from Champs there’s no in between! 
-Makes and sells beats on the side, would also have a strong social media presence! He’s be the type to have a ton of followers on Sound Cloud and Spotify!
-The type to try and talk is way into and or around everything “I understand hats are against the wardrobe but I’m just trying to express myself and I think it’s right to give everybody self expression” Wears glasses, though none of us really know if he needs them forreal forreal…. Wears a snowman on his wrist (A big iced out watch). 
-Drives a white BMW 430, puts cones around his car in the parking lot..Yoongi and Jimin kick the cones...faithfully..everyday!
-Don’t let his niceness fool you, will cook your ass in the blink of an eye if need be! Prefers a good verbal situation though, the king of a good word battle will have you all types of trying to check the dictionary to understand what he just said! Got you standing there like a misplaced student in honors English… 
- If shit get’s physical well..we can’t let the president fight soo...he’ll call Yoongi or Jimin to handle it for him…. Because...well his Jay’s are brand new..and only 10 other people have them...sooooo..OR maybe it’s lowkey because he can’t fight all that well...baby’s not coordinate OKAY!? Don’t @ me! 
-Oophfff daddy long leg! Lmao nah but you know he’d be the one...the one that every girl says he’s packin..and he is...He’d be little more reserved..and modest when it comes to his skills but he’s damn sure not shy! Would deff skip lunch, for a quickey at the park..yes the park.....would leave for lunch in a suit...come back in some joggers....real subtel....
Yoongi -
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-The unexpected jock ...the one who can kick your entire ass in basketball, one of the stars on the team! Shooting Guard, has a championship ring from every year he’s played!
-Picks and chooses when he wants to be social. Just judge his mood based on his  face that day!
-DJ’s every party and school event. Often gets into trouble for not playing the clean versions of songs!
-He’s on the morning broadcast with Jimin and Jin...also forgets to censor himself. I.E “Peter Pan opened last night and it sucked actual ass!” 
-Lowkey highkey funny AF, king of sarcasm and one liners!
-Purposely owns an old school Chevelle instead of a new car, also drifts on the weekends.
- Lives in like the flyest loungewear...joggers, hoodies,Jays..doesn't look like he tried but still looks bomb AF. 
-Another one that will creep up on you when it comes to his skill in bed, the one that girls say there surprised with how passionate and attentive he is! In contrast to how  hard his exterior can be, the type to take his time and make sure your more than satisfied….
 -Always, ALWAYS has his headphones in, lives and breathes music! He raps on the side, competes in underground competitions, and win’s without even trying! Refuses to ever participle in the schools talent show because he can’t swear therefore they are hindering his creative flow! 
-Constantly looks like he’d rather cut his own testie off than be “here” right now. 
-Will walk out if you don't let him go to the bathroom when he feels like it, actually he’ll just walk out period…”Yoongi where are you going!?” . 
“Oh I need another espresso shot before I sit through this extremely falsely sugarcoated reality of how Columbus “discovered”  a place that was already there!” 
Jimin: “Aww man, sit down I got you! I was just about to have Pizza Hut sent to the office, you wanna add into my postmates order!!?” 
😩😂😂😂...I canttttt ..maybe I’ll do the other four!? Again all in good fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I often wonder what the boys would be like if they were born in the states. Then I realize the lack of filter they’d all have especially JIMIN and I’m grateful for the cultural differences that come with them being Korean born !
UPDATE- 7/29...I think I might turn these headcons into a lil sum sum...writing these reminded me that I actually enjoyed HS (For me my “shitty” period was like elementray and part of middle school) But I made HS my bitch, and had so much damn fun lol !
7/30- PART 1
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years
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This isn’t really an ask but I wanted to share something I was thinking about with you guys who show your sincere love/admiration for BTS in all you post —
Watching the past BTS Run episodes and the behind videos makes me feel a certain way not only because we get to see the boys relax and have fun (even if they get frustrated a bit haha *looking at HS and JM*), but also because I wonder how often they got to play around and do these kinds of things during the age most people do? I’d say teens and early-20s is the age when we do silly things like play mini games with friends, go to amusement parks for the first time, take a stab at cooking — and yet they were working their hardest and truly shedding blood, sweat, and tears during that time (thinking about JK makes me incredibly soft because he really started young). This show really just allows them to have fun. And it’s frustrating to see that others called the show terrible and said it was something the boys were forced to do and didn’t truly enjoy (the article saying otherwise was a blessing).
Watching “special guests” also be on the show I think highlights this feeling (of them enjoying doing these kinds of things) even more! You can see the excited ness and almost shy manners when they have others on (the voice acting, T1, and recent cooking ep come to mind). I’m looking forward to future episodes! Are there any things/games/themes you’d like to see the boys do on a BTS Run episode?
(Ah, sorry, I guess there is an ask — only if you two wish to answer it!)(Catch me listening to Young Forever now in my feels 😭)
I’ve been sitting on this ask forever and I’m really sorry for that! Especially since it’s such a good one, so thank you so much for sending it in. Maybe that’s why it took me so long, since I kind of wanted to think about it a little and offer something (hopefully) good as response.
RUN certainly offers them a bit of time in their schedules to just be silly together, play mini games and other things they normally wouldn’t really be able to do in their own time, like the zombie game episode or try a flower class. In one of the episodes of Break the Silence Yoongi spoke about how things that are mundane for us are special to them since they don’t get to do them without putting thought into how to pull it off; Seokjin spoke about how while his friends said that he’ll never have to worry about rent, he argued that while that may be true, they will never have to worry about something as trivial as walking down the street, or in one of the Bring the Soul (if I remember currently) episodes where Seokjin was apologetic about wanting to visit the zoo in Berlin since it meant that he had to take so many people with him since they were abroad, though it’s less of an issue while they’re in Korea it seems.
It’s curious how different that experience is for the members though, I mean, just look at their vacation in 2019 and how different it went for Namjoon and Jimin. While Jimin was quickly discovered and followed in Paris and Russia, Namjoon toured through Europe in a way that while ARMY from the respective countries knew about it, they kept it so low key everyone else had no idea until Namjoon posted about it himself. On the other hand, except for their finishing trip, we have no idea what Yoongi did during their vacation, or Hobi besides his CNS collab.
But, generally, it’s rather clear that none of the members would be able to just show up at Everland (an amusement park in Korea, the place where they filmed the America’s Got Talent performance of Dynamite) and have a good time without immediately being spotted, or having to heavily rely on disguises (and likely still worry about it not being enough and what would happen if they were discovered, therefore defeating the entire point of going to a place like that in the first place).
There are two sides to every medal. While yes they had and continue to have to give up on certain things, experiences and freedoms that seem so normal to the average person, something we don’t even have to think about much or can just do whenever we want (like going to the cinema at peak hours or go to McDonald’s (even one of the TXT members couldn’t do that without pictures being secretly taken of him and posted on sns and TXT isn’t nearly as famous as BTS)), they also gain a lot in terms of money but also experiences no one but them will have in such a way. They get to live their dream of being artists, of giving giant concerts all across the globe, of sharing their music with millions of people and bringing us happiness and comfort when we need it most.
More below the cut:
In one of the episodes of Bring the Soul Tae spoke about how they had the opportunities to go higher quicker, but they refused, wanted to do things their own way in their own time. It isn’t like they’ve lost control of their lives, like they wouldn’t be able to do things if they truly wanted—after all in the Bring the Soul episode where Seokjin went to the Zoo, Hobi could also walk around in the area close to the arena where they performed largely without being bothered (which might be due to his heavy disguise and security, but you get the point)—but there are limitations, and in a way, it really is a shame, but at the end of the day, many of these things are ones they’ll still be able to do whenever their fame will calm down, or fade away one day in the future. Cinemas and flower classes and amusement parks won’t just disappear, and they are certainly things you can still do once you’re thirty or forty years old, or even older than that.
But, going back to RUN, the show certainly offers them the opportunity to not have to wait until their fame passes, gives them a chance to experience and try things while also sharing that with us, work and pleasure at once. Though it’s clear that perhaps filming episodes isn’t always at the top of their priorities and I can imagine there are things they’d sometimes rather do—I mean episodes that we’ve seen being filmed in hotel rooms between concerts where I’m sure they’d rather spend the day relaxing, though they likely still prefer filming RUN over giving yet another boring and mindless interview in English, since let’s be honest, those aren’t…great, usually.
When it comes to guests on RUN, be it in form of people like the T1 members or instructors like the tennis players or the auntie teaching them how to make kimchi, it’s always so funny to me to see how humble they are about their own fame, how they get all shy as though they are meeting someone exceedingly famous instead of them being the most famous people in any room they enter. Looking at how they speak of their goals and achievements, it’s easy to see though that they’ve carefully worked on not allowing their fame to get to their heads, to remain grounded and as connected to reality as possible despite being them and how different their lives are from those of normal people. I mean, how many of us can say they were mobbed while trying to buy an iPad?
It's also so beautiful and remarkable to me how people who have met them spoke about them, like Isaac the florist who spoke about how interested they all were in the flowers and truly participated and listened, that they were extremely friendly, kind and polite, and if that doesn’t sound like Bangtan, I don’t know what does. I think this is also one of the reasons why they managed to get to where they are now, why they are so strong as a group, why they still enjoy spending time together, still manage to get even closer and deepen their friendships even after a decade has passed—they’ve remained human despite everything they’ve gone through, despite the heights they keep on reaching, despite all the awards and achievements, the number ones and sold out tours.
Tae said the following about V and his relation to Kim Taehyung in Break the Silence: Persona (the movie):
I think V can show parts of Kim Taehyung and parts of V, but Kim Taehyung can’t show V. Kim Taehyung is Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is someone who’s still filled with a lot of curiosity and he’s inquisitive about a lot of things. There are so many things he wants to do. Also I think there’s so many things he is curious about.
This is the important stuff, and while I don’t have such quotes for the other members, I’m sure it’s true for them as well. Even after all this time Tae is still curious about the world, still has things he’d like to do, he’s still himself even while he stands on stage as V, hasn’t lost himself to the stage persona and the fame. We know Namjoon had a whole crisis about where RM ends and Kim Namjoon begins, and if they really are two separate things, if Namjoon even still exists or if RM has taken over his personality. I’m sure all of them had their respective moment of trying to determine who they are as people, who they are as artists, and who they want to be when they look in the mirror, how to not lose the person below the persona. We’ve also had Jungkook question his worth outside of being a BTS member, something I’m sure all of them also experienced in one way or another since it seems like such an inevitable question to ask yourself after you’ve been part of a group for so long, and yet despite it all, they all still want to stay together as BTS for as long as they can, despite mixtapes and thoughts of wanting to at least be able/confident enough to lead a concert on their own (Jungkook BE Weverse interview).
RUN gives them a chance to be them, to have fun, to be silly, to not have to constantly be on guard, to have fun in an environment where they can feel safe and are surrounded by people who have been with them for a long time and have their best interest in mind as well. There was a whole Weverse Magazine article about it, which I also wrote a post about. And yet there are people who want to take this away from them because they don’t like it while disregarding what BTS themselves want. I won’t call them ARMY since most of them are solos/akgae/mantis, and those are anything but ARMY, they’re not even fans of the one member they claim to stan, are merely caricatures of “fans” who want to “save” them, or rather take control of their lives so BTS would act exactly how they want them to. It’s obsessive and wrong, and it crosses every line and boundary of what it means to be anyone’s fan. As fans it isn’t our job to decide what is and isn’t good for their careers. We don’t know anything about the industry, while they’ve been in it since 2010, and we know nothing about their contracts or what happens behind the scenes.
As long as they are happy and have fun, who are we to question it? I don’t know about you but Bangtan have looked nothing but happy and like they were having a good time in the last couple of episodes, even when they were frustrated because they couldn’t pass a game. After all learning tennis properly and over a longer period of time was their own idea, not anyone else’s, but that’s something those people don’t want to hear anything about or will just twist somehow to fit their narrative. It truly is a shame, but also, it’s their loss if they’d rather make themselves miserable than spend forty minutes laughing along with Bangtan as they’re trying to play the harmonica or trying to cook something with less than stellar cooking skills.
As for something I’d want to see them do on RUN, that’s tricky since there’s so much they’ve already done, but something that comes to mind would be even something as silly as sitting them down and having them try to recreate all the members, or one they chose at random, in The Sims 4. It could be hilarious, and we could see how differently they’d tackle something like it. Or have them decorate a house in Sims, which would be especially interesting with our resident lighting fixtures enthusiast Yoongi. Or maybe something to do with painting, like them attending a class or just attempting to draw the same object or person. (A2: maybe given them a wall and spray cans and have them do graffiti or a mural, or have them do each other’s hair and makeup (taking it serious, of course) for a photoshoot or something like that) Or maybe a Bangtan book club where they’d discuss the same book since it would be so interesting to see what different things each of the members would find in a book and their opinions etc.
The possibilities are endless and just like you I can’t wait to see what the future episodes of RUN will have, and especially the tennis match we’ll see in next week’s episode.
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gigaupd8liveblog · 4 years
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The Epilogues Opinions Post™
Disclaimer: people can like what they like! These are solely my opinions and I don't want to start any arguments. I'm not tagging this with fandom tags for that reason.
Disclaimer 2: no, I haven't read more of the Epilogues than what I've liveblogged. No, I haven't read HS^2. Yes, I still have opinions based on spoilers, fandom reactions, etc.
Also, yes I know I'm late to the party on this one. I'd still like to get my thoughts written down.
Without further ado:
Opinions on the Epilogues
- bad
I just don't like 'em!
The breakdown of why, though:
The tonal shift was wild. I got into Homestuck for the funny ha ha goofs and stayed for the expansive multiverse worldbuilding. I did not sign up for a soap opera.
Giant blocks of text aren't fun! A lot of my interest in HS, especially early on, involved the multimedia aspect of it. Plenty of gags involved visuals, audio, and messing with the site itself. (I'm sad to see that's been lost somewhat in the site transition.) Lots of text pings in my brain as boring work, like slogging through Chaucer.
It's just not a good time for a liveblog. A lot of the jokes and commentary I've done has hinged on that visual aspect. I was finding it hard to clip parts of the dialog that worked with my commentary without including the whole chapter each time.
The story was mediocre. Who cares if there are loose ends in the extremely long lore heavy fantasy epic? Not everyone can be Tolkein with his entire extra book of backstory nonsense. Whatever the plan was for the house juju in the first place, this was not the way to execute an explanation. Put it in canon or not at all.
Opinions on HS^2
- ehhh
Now, here's where we get into stuff based on fandom osmosis. What I know about HS^2 is what I've seen shared as memes or written about in discourse. So here's what I know:
Dirk runs the show. Apparently he's ascended or some bs.
There's a character named Yiffany. Hate the name but the design looks cool. Also this character exists because of a cheating scandal involving Rose and Jade, maybe? I want to stay far away from whatever that situation is. Don't explain it to me.
I have no clue if there's a plot.
Andrew Hussie has handed the reins to a group of creators, some of them former BNFs. My only interaction with these folks was a PGenpod livestream of some American primary results. They seem like cool people.
Homestuck is dying, in terms of site quality and ability to watch the flashes. I am unsure if this applies to HS^2 due to it being released on the new site, but I haven't heard about any flashes.
Again, that's all I know. My full opinion, therefore, is that whatever's going on in HS^2 clearly isn't interesting enough to be a successor to the epic that is Homestuck if I haven't heard anything about the plot.
That's that. Send any questions my way via the askbox, and once again, don't use this post as discourse fodder please. It's just so I have my thoughts written out as I wrap up this liveblog.
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Ranma 2/4
Part  Two: Chapter 13 - 25
Unless someone comes up with a better name I’m sticking with this one
HOW tf is the principal crazier than before?!
Yup, spreading out the Kuno-Principal thing
Is Sasuke seriously an anime-only?!?
Like I said Ryoga needs to chill a little first
Main reason I don’t like Ukyo That scene where she blatantly states she’s fine with turning Ranma into something he’s not rather than helping him
(Ignoring the near constant amount of undermining his abilities)
“I’m gonna cheer him up” as she holds a sword! Why?!
 Ranma you dummy, hug Akane!
I hate this demon/ghost cat
Shampoo, you manipulative bitch
Akane learns to swim like a normal person
The lifeguard in me can’t do it
 The principal is background shenanigans
Totally forgot about the kid who wants to play video games and is “weak” bc of it
Definitely need to find a different reason tho
 Lazy little shits are a pain
Also his mom is crap
 Akane… why you be dumb?
 Weird Happosai is Santa plot…
What is with the Excalibur meets lucky 1000 meets fairy godmother?
Good news is, with what I’ve done to Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse Ranma knows Kuno wouldn’t give him that wish and calls it quits sooner
Someone just needs to explain Ranma’s really confusing sense of morality to me
 Cuz it’s either on 110% or it’s nonexistent, now normally nonexistent is for Kuno but still
 Look Ranma’s got ego problems but he ain’t stupid
No betting the Tendo Dojo at five!
 On what planet is that a legal document?!?
Some1 tell me why Shampoo using Ranma as a stop ramp bugs me so bad
That mo when you can’t remember if the Hot Spring Challenge is when Ukyo met Shampoo in the anime…
I don’t think so…
Akane you made me need to google a word
That like never happens Ranma you idiot
So close but so far
So much more logic, thanks
I mean more insanity, but it explains why Ranma swapped clothes
Finally! Ranma apologizes
Jesus Christ someone would think I won the goddamn lotto with how loud I cheered when this happened
600% approve of this over what happened in the anime
Oof poor Ranma
Hahahaha in your face Shampoo, but I also think I know why Ranma chose it
Poor Ryoga
I KNEW this guy was coming I still hate it
YEET you can’t PAY ME to  do this arc
Look, is it the fact that I had etiquette and dance classes as a child and everyone assumed this is what it was like? Probably.
It wasn’t so I won’t.
Any1 else notice how Nabiki is one of the few ppl that uses she/her when Ranma is in his cursed form no matter what?
Why does this bug me?
Akane, stop beating Ranma up, honestly
This is closer to abuse rather than teasing
*sighs*
 Gotta work that out of the narrative, intentional or not
Every1 sayin she’s violent isn’t helping
Like I said really fucking morally GREY Nabiki
How grey can you go before you get black? 
 Let’s find out together
Can everyone PLEASE stop treating Ranma like an object?!
 I literally can’t tell if Nabiki is fucking Aro or not…
STRESS
Why is this so hard?!
I hate seeing Akane cry
I know she’s playing Ranma like a kazoo, but the point still stands
WHY ARE YOU TWO SO DUMB?!
Nope, nevermind it’s just Ranma that’s a fuckin idiot I blame Genma
No, I’m not kidding
*sighs* I don’t condone Nabiki doing this in any way just for the record THAT’S not an apology Ranma!
This mess is totally your fault Nabiki
STRESS
am I intentionally pointing out where this work of fiction is stressing me out since I’m now online schooling and suffering for it? Yes, fuck off.
 Actually, don’t.
But Fuck Covid19
Aww his hat’s back!
Why do I love his hat so much?
No, seriously Akane’s so cute!
Oooww tree
y’know the sec she realized what Ranma was doing Nabiki should’ve TOLD him!
Congrats Ranma ya got the wrong sis- I mean the right- but wrong- dammit y’know what I mean
Some1 give me a logical explanation for why Ranma goes on a date with a panda doodle, PLEASE
I do appreciate the epic battle background fight for the anime
Further proof that Happosai sucks
Manga name’s somehow less believable I think it’s the use of “snowman” rather than “yeti”
Did Soun just find out that Pchan is Ryoga, and say nothing?
Ooo, Imma commit arson
Remember when I said obey Physics and Medical, I meant it
Arson is wrong and I know this but “transgender bitch” crosses the line
I will do it
Shampoo is a fucking yandere psycho
Just sayin “we’ll see who can get him first” 
honestly, any other group and I’d be annoyed, but these four can’t work together for shit I
’m still pissed at Taro, but he can kill Happosai, please
I can’t tell if Shampoo, Mousse and Ryoga are being purposefully obtuse or not
I just reread their names I know the answer to at least two of them
Idk how I feel about Kuno-amnesia we’ll see
yep, Kuno gives me the creeps w or w/out his memories
kinda wish this was anime
jesus christ, poor Ranma
press f to pay respects for Ranma’s stomach
InstaRegret
 Also Ukyo’s assumption that some1 can make Ranma doing anythin he doesn’t want to is crap
Like HELLO! Wake up moron!
Nabiki, I mean this in the nicest way possible, shut the fuck up
You’re making it worse
Also TALK to each other you ding dongs!
OH RIGHT! I almost forgot about the biggest fucking insult that Ukyo said of her own freewill!
It also proves that she doesn’t know Ranma as a person AT ALL!
It’s not a pick one or the other kind of thing
The fact that she thinks Ranma would accept that is insulting
The fact that she thinks that is insulting and makes me hate the patriarchy
Again, treating him like a prize than a person
*tries not scream, sighs*
Nabiki, you’re the cause of at least 30% of the stress I get from this
You having feelings ain’t the fucking problem here Ukyo, you not acknowledging Ranma’s is
 I hate fake criers, anyone who does this I hate you
Always let others in on your plans, kids
When’s every1 gonna realize Ranma’s “wishy-washy” cuz no one’s ever committed to HIM before?
This episode confused me, I’m prepared to be MORE confused
Less confused, I’m surprised
 Gonsunkugi, you creep
There is SO much wrong with this
*shudders*
WHAT?!
Y’know I didn’t think Gosunkugi could surprise me, I was wrong
Happosai still sucks unfortunately for all of us he’s now weird on top of it
I love how much Ranma needs to be kicked in the teeth to get any character development out of him
Ryoga is my #1 choice for it, always
Ranma… why are you like this?
Genma, emotional range of a goddamn wall
I am jealous of Ranma’s brain
I could be SO mean with the Shishihokodan
Also, are they implying that Ryoga has depression?
Gimme Ranma’s brain
I won’t ask for his confidence cuz that’s impossible but I want his brain
In Akane’s defense, given what she knows she couldn’t’ve known how badly that would affect Ryoga
 I ain’t gonna say “leave Shampoo” cuz that’s cruel
I like the “turn into a Cat” rather than the “Can’t Cross” & the use of New Year’s rather than random but this still brings around the fact that she doesn’t LISTEN to him
Mousse you’re NOT helping in fact you’re actively making it worse did you miss when he said blatantly “I don’t wanna”
oh, sure, NOW you’re ok with it
ugh Mousse, you have a brain, I’ve SEEN you use it. Do so now.
This entire episode weirded me out
IDK if it’s the age-dff or the fact that he was makin it up and somehow everyone thought this was okay … 
I won’t YEET it but MASSIVELY change
heheheh
Light bulb
NOPE I’m keeping this surprise to myself
it was a rather sweet end tho
Oh, this episode is a mess and a half, honestly
Also Nabiki, congrats you’ve literally enabled a stalker S
o many laws are broken here
okay, so Kodachi not being in on Ranma’s secret after so long makes sense purely because she doesn’t go to their school
however, with what i’ve done to make Kuno marginally less dumb it makes a little bit less sense…
I literally hate Kuno with what I’ve done to his logic of Ranma’s transformation, but that’s the point Kodachi… how do I handle you… oh, duh!
Ok, so Kodachi is now also terrible
 I’m trying to figure out where this is in the plot since there is ZERO
Ok, there’s a LINE, Nabiki
This one would be touching, if it didn’t end the way it does
TALK gentlemen! 
It won’t kill you
Fuck a parent that says they’re not your parent for no reason, EVER
I am going to make this hurt
 Also gonna take out Genma’s fail at stealth
 Remember I said Akane’s going to learn to cook
heheheh
sorry, I just love this idea
Oh this is SO against the rules it’s not even funny
 tiny adjustment so they actually have quasi-competent referees
Crazy wants crazy?I won’t stop ‘em
I reiterate: CHEATING!
I am aware that the “ending” apparently sets them back to the start in terms of their relationship but I swear to God if they pretend shit like this didn’t happen I will scream
 Someone ships something other than Akane x Ranma PLEASE explain why/how
don’t ship bash but I would insight when you explain 
STICK TO CANON
please trust me, I’m a multi/poly/crack shipper
(for frame of reference to a bnha I ship DabiHawks)
I understand the appeal of Fanon
however, I would like to stick to Canon here
so no Fanon
Canon Only
Fully love that high kick
Genma shows Ranma’s secret here, but they already know… so… I shall find out
Ooo, you’re not getting out of this Ranma
Do you know how tempting it is for Akane to at least tell Ranma she’s a girl- oh wait gendered sports… right…
Ranma… 
if you didn’t realize it was Akane when she hit you for calling her klutzy I can’t help you
I want to commit arson at some of the comments…
but can confirm that these are HS boys
 Doesn’t mean I gotta like it
I was wondering how long I was going to have to wait before tearing into Nodoka
FINALLY
Took me WAY too long to remember that Nodoka calling Ranko tomboyish is due to how he speaks in Japanese
I’ll need to figure that out since… English
Can I explode on Genma’s choice to take Ranma at TWO?!
Can I further explode on both of them for making a TWO YEAR OLD “sign” a Seppuku Pledge?!
I hate both of them, honest
ALSO communication! 
Genma! Just fucking TELL HIM!
Making her transphobic is SO tempting
I don’t mean in a “i hate you” way I mean in a “I sheltered my whole life” way
 It’s still bad, and painful, but she can easily learn from that
Or be worse, this could go 2 ways
I feel so bad for Akane for this entire conversation
Also poor Ranma like ouch… 
 Awkward
I’m going to make this hurt something fierce
Slight change since I’m hoping Ranma isn’t as “peak fight or flight” by this point
Genma don’t be an asshole for FIVE MINUTES
Please, that’s all I want
If she doesn’t learn the truth before the end I will make a bad decision
Really, I will
Don’t kill Genma, you can’t
 Akane, don’t say like you wouldn’t… honestly
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, honestly, just look the other way Ranma
*sigh* 
Ranma…
See, this kind of crap here is why I really don’t like Cologne
any other day Akane’d be right
oof, that means he self aware that girls flock to him
I’m quite frustrated by that if I’m honest
Ranma is clueless about all the wrong things
I love him but God I wanna punch him sometimes
Why is there a swing from the ceiling?!
I had a jolt from the way they set that panel up, thanks
Are you trying to kill me?!
Thank you Cologne, now fuck off
Oh thank God, at least he learned
This is nonanime stuff so I have no clue what’s happening but anything to make Happosai miserable
I’m enjoying this immensely
 ugh, “think of it as a compliment” ghost
Eat me
 okay, yeah, as much as I want him dead, that’s worse
I’m glad he’s not a one-and-done character
I will forever ONLY call him Taro when it is NonDialogue
Wait Saffron as in big-bad Saffron?
I literally only know pieces of the end so I’m just pulling from what I know
Lol, wait… was that soldier Anime only too?
I almost liked you there for a sec Taro
Now I’m pissed again
bravo
Oh, YIKES
… if Ranma falls into the Spring of Drowned Twins would he split?
 I’m not going to DO IT, obviously!
I’m just curious okay… 
that answers that… and kills anyone other than Ranma’s plan to turn back to normal I hope everyone is aware of that
oof
Since when is there a castle on an island in Japan
tis just a scratch, I’ll admit that was funny
Ranma… your stomach gets you in so many problems
ok, that was wholesome
I approve
Okay, so my understanding is that Mrs. Tendo got sick, so I can understand the reactions to Kasumi
BUT I still find it odd because… well… anyone in my house gets sick and you mostly can’t even tell I mean, minus a worse attitude and a mask, other than that though, nope we keep ‘er movin’
 I’m moving this section sooner EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!
I like her mom’s cookbook tho
I could make a Ranma x Ryoga joke here, but I won’t
I also won’t make a Ranma x Ryoga joke chapter cuz I’m nice like that
Actually I might have no choice
I’m FINE just dying
 Help
my multishipper heart is dying here
 I love this
InstaRegret for THREE people
If nothing else, I’m impressed
(well three once Ranma’s back to normal)
I need help
Fangirling/Fanboying/Fanpeopling is dangerous folks, remember that
Poor Ryoga
Though I too feel that right now like where do I look because everything coming in at mach 6
I’m changing that one scene tho cuz I can’t justify the aftermath without it
This… is… weird to say the least
I feel like I should just expect anything with Gosunkugi remotely involved to be weird at this point
okay, not as weird as I expected
glad it was short tho
I think I am officially out of anime terf
YAY, new content!
This is why I ask about any ship that isn’t Ranma x Akane
Also, names?
That- that- that can’t... 
I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT!
EWWW
gross
WHY?!?!!
also, biology, that’s not how that works!!
You two ARE idiots
Ryoga you die I’ll kill you
Well… that hurt to see so quick…
Ranma, get up!
I officially hate this Herb guy
ok, so if you put HOT water in the ladle do you stay that way forever?
Alright! Way to go Ryoga!
I need to stop shipping Rivals it’s bad for my health
fucking eat it you dick!
 Poor Akane
nevermind, Ranma you idiot
awwwww
ok, so that whole no more Anime-content… I was wrong, and I admit that, but still
I’m just thinking of my bff when they realize she’s an adult cuz, yeah, she’s like that too
 except like physically an adult unlike tiny-Hinako
 oh MY GOD Ukyo you’re driving me up the goddamn wall I swear!
THANK YOU AKANE!
 “You’re all Ranma’s fiancées” when only one of them actually is 
GIANT SIGH OF ANNOYANCE
Ranma, learn to communicate, PLEASE!
Okay… so is this where they figured it out or are some ppl still in the dark?
TIMELINE!!
Honestly, mood Ranma, mood
This entire plot line confuses me if I’m being totally honest
I mean I live for the Akane focus, but there are so many better ways to do this
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sadbi-hours · 4 years
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Here it is! Finally! My Stranger things’ Fanfic Rec list I’ve put off for months yooo! Anyway, I hope you find something to read and enjoy y’all :)
(Oh, the * at the front of the fic title means they are my favorites!)
* objects in the mirror by Snickfic  (Complete)
Jonathan has no f**king idea why Nancy and Steve gave him the Nikon. He doesn't know why they're so insistent on seeing the pictures he takes, either. 
why you should read it?:one reason: you can’t tell me that Jonathan doesn’t have a thing for taking pics during sexy times! you just can’t...and this fanfic is the reason why!
And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars Series by  Drhair76 (WIP)
The many adventures of Steve, Jonathan and Nancy as they figure out their relationship. (feat. Robin, the kiddos and a heck ton of parental figures.)
why you should read it?: Because Steve/Nancy/Jonathan’s relationship is the cutest thing in this little series...but it’s also very real in a way that’s not supernatural. Just go read the series! Warning: It does get a little angsty in later parts!
Emotion Sickness by  Shypt  (WIP)
After the Battle of Starcourt, Steve struggles with the damages that the Russians left behind. In dealing with the aftermath, with the help of Robin and the Party, he uncovers a larger conspiracy at hand than just re-opening the Gate.
why you should read it?: Post s3 fic, where Robin and Steve are left with powers after the Russian’s experiments...and how they deal with that and the large conspiracy at behind why. 
* it's a risk, it's a gamble by  nondz (pinkjook) (Complete)
“I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says.
"What?" Steve answers.
why you should read it?: read this post and all my feelings will be revealed...or aka the emotionally sweet stoncy fic where Robin and Steve pretend to be each others beards... that might have made me weep silently a few times haha!
* Strike from the Records (it's not over 'till we're done) by SylphofScript (Complete)
If there’s one more thing Steve should have walked away with after so many incidents with the otherworldly, it’s to never trust the slow points.
They were only ever a blanket of lies, covering up a brewing storm.
Too bad Steve never learns.
why you should read it?: A long connective fic, where each character is common or not so common whamp trope! So beware, it gets super angsty in parts!
Have Happened by cortexikid (Complete)
"I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”
Steve's heart fluttered nervously.
“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”
Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him.
“But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”
why you should read it?: You know, why not! I’ll admit, this story doesn’t entirely work for me anymore since the monster hunting trio had grown so far from their s1 characterizations, but it’s still a fic worth reading! So i am rec-ing it!
Slide Over Here by empathieves (Complete)
Nancy says Jonathan's name instead of Steve's two weeks after the Monster Hunting Incident. Steve says it instead of Nancy's name a month after. They don't talk about it until two months after, when it's become increasingly hard to ignore that Jonathan Byers has become a part of their sex life without even being in the room.
why you should read it?: Another post s1 fic, where Nancy and Steve slowly start bringing Jonathan’s name into their sex life...and how they eventually act on their desires! 
Searching For Your Heart by cali-chan (girls_are_weird) (Complete)
One of the world's biggest action movie superstars is coming to town, and every kid in Hawkins High is determined to win MTV's back-to-school scavenger hunt and get a face-to-face meeting with their idol. Mike and his friends are sure they've got this in the bag— until the contest throws a wrench in their plans and their only shot at winning is partnering up with Mike's longtime crush, El Hopper.
why you should read it?: I’ll admit I didn’t finish this story...I was a little too fluffy for my tastes, but It’s still a cute story worth reading!
Bad at Love (Can You Blame Me for Trying) by GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes (Complete)
He liked to think the world was done throwing him curveballs. He’s had to kill the Demogorgon, get his face punched in by a crazed stepbrother, listen to his drunk girlfriend tell him she doesn’t love him, and tell his best friend that he’s a piece of shit. He thought he had somehow managed to catch enough curveballs for a lifetime. He was wrong. The newest curveball may be the hardest one yet.
why you should read it?: It’s Stoncy and my fav romantic angst trope: (not so) unrequited love/Pining! 
* every night my mind is running around her by magneticwave (Complete)
In which Nancy gets married, Lucas gets hot, and Dustin gets to give lots of people advice that he’s only moderately qualified to dispense. 
why you should read it?: This was my first ever ST fanfic! I had to add it on principal...of it being absolutely amazing lol! 
* Ducks on the Pond by The Stephanois (ballantine) (Complete)
Steve Harrington knows two things to be true: the St. Louis Cardinals are the best baseball team in the world, and Nancy Wheeler is far too amazing for him to hog all to himself.
why you should read it?:  It’s one of my all time favorite stoncy fics, it combines two things I absolutely love into one story: Poly relationships and Baseball (I won a MVP trophy in HS for Pitching) ...and also uses the age old euphemism of bases for sex;) 
Across the Many Miles by FeoplePeel (Complete)
Nancy packed her bags and moved out West for Caltech. Jonathan’s East at NYU. Steve’s in the middle, Hawkins, Indiana and separated from the only people who understand by a seemingly endless stretch of land on each side. The story doesn't start there, but it doesn't end there, either.
why you should read it?: It’s actually been so long since I’ve read this one...and bruh is it long...so it’s definitely not a causal read, but it’s very very good read if you have the time for a long, long story. 
* let this pass you by CallicoKitten (Complete)
Steve’s not entirely sure at which point in his life he became Dustin Henderson’s personal chauffeur. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Maybe he can pinpoint the exact moment it happened and it honestly keeps him awake at night more than the demo-dogs or the Demogorgon or any of the insane shit that’s happened in Hawkins recently.
---
the kids drag steve on a trip to chicago to find El's sister, steve figures some shit out in the process
why you should read it?: It’s stoncy, the party, and a road trip all rolled into one...what more can you ask for haha?!
Talk Me Down by anomalation (Complete)
Nancy knows what she wants: Steve and Jonathan both, and maybe a fight. Steve knows he'd do anything for these dorky kids. Jonathan doesn't seem to want anything, but he'd also never ask them. And none of them are interested in forgiving Billy.
Featuring: some D&D, a Christmas party, a lot of relationship negotiating, no excuses for shitty behavior, and yet also the firm belief that nobody deserves abusive parents.
why you should read it?: Another really long, long fic that I completely enjoyed the one time I read it...and It had a nice and real redemption arc for Billy that I liked. 
* For the Three of Us by brokenpromisesandhope
5 times Jonathan loved Steve and Nancy and one time they loved him back.
why you should read it?: The summary pretty much says it all...
* decide on me (decide on us) by mjolnirbreaker (Complete)
Robin could very well die tonight in her stupid work uniform, and honestly she doesn’t want to dwell on it. So she’s going to make it her personal mission to figure out what’s up with Steve’s romantic life, and hopefully they don’t die before she solves the puzzle.
why you should read it?: It amazes me to this day...just how close to canon this author had gotten for Robin’s characterization and her relationship with Steve! 
* fly me to the moon by bleuboxes (Complete)
It's a Saturday night; he's watching one of those Star Wars movies with Robin - who won't shut up about how hot Leia looks.
Steve mentions something briefly about how he likes Han’s hair, rugged tough guy appearance, and general aloofness. Robin rolls her eyes, mutters an 'of course you do', then throws popcorn at his face.
why you should read it?:  Okay, I related way too well to this story! Han Solo was one of my bisexual awakens too...and I didn’t realize until years later lol! It’s also a sweet story about how Robin slowly helps Steve through his awakening like a real BFF should. 
God Help the Outcasts by willwrite4coffee (Complete)
Robin Buckley's always been a little different, but to her, that's never been a bad thing.
She's been on the outside looking in, an outcast, but she'd rather spend her evening with Sousa than at a kegger.
Being an outsider has never been a bad thing.
(also known as, why does no one know Robin in such a small town like Hawkins?)
why you should read it?: A cute little story about Robin and Steve’s friendship directly after the events of s3...and how the party and Nancy and Jonathan slowly begin to accept Robin into the fold. 
Oh, and anything by @trulyalpha! Here’s the Ao3 link!
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littlemulattokitten · 5 years
Text
Dating App Conundrums
Alright so I’ve been planning to do this for a while, and may make a thing out of it just to chronicle the adventure from single to hopefully not, but who knows. 
Basically I decided to research a few dating apps and try them out, since I’m the type of person who’s content to stay home, but also only likes going out with a friend or small group (not alone) - therefore my chances of meeting people are probably in the negatives without dating services like the ones I’m currently on.
This post will probably end up being both a review of some of these apps as well as a master shitpost detailing the adventures of a straight female attempting to find a straight male to date online. And I know Tumblr well enough that at least half the people who read this will have yet another reason to be proud of their not straight orientation. Because good fucking lord the nonsense I’ve seen.
Storytime begins below the cut. This isn’t going to be short. That’s your warning. It will probably be funny at some points though. It’s funny to live it, at least. And I may break it into parts, Idk yet.
Let’s get a few things out of the way first.
Until this experiment, I’d never used dating apps ever. I knew of them. Hated them on principle (dislike them even more now, but we’ll get into that later) and wanted nothing to do with them. I knew a few people who were happily married to a Match.com or OKCupid match but aside from that – I’d never even downloaded Tinder like everyone else I knew in HS and college.
I haven’t actually dated anyone since my first semester of college. On purpose. I broke off my engagement to my elementary school sweetheart (thankfully we are still good friends and our friendship recovered from that near disaster) and I just wanted to focus on myself for a while.
The small handful of relationships I have had that lasted longer than 6 months taught me a lot about what I want in my ideal mate. The one or two less-than-6-months-barely-relationships I had in high school taught me A LOT about what I will never put up with from people.
My “type” isn’t reflective of my dating history. I’ve gotten to the point with these apps where I’m combining their shallow-indorsing metrics with my own personal preferences. Basically going through an aesthetic checklist then scanning through their profile to see if the actual person is equally pretty.
Spoiler, I have to swipe left A LOT.
I’m a very particular person. I’m very introverted and I hate when someone makes conversation harder than it has to be. I can hold a conversation. I just refuse to be the only one putting effort into it. (This makes more sense later)
I’m beyond fed up with dating app culture but my perfect or close enough to perfect guy has gotta exist so most of my accounts will remain I fucking guess.
I’m not necessarily looking for Mr. Forever. I’ll gladly keep him if I find him, but I’m also not looking for a relationship that I know will be temporary. I don’t do things by halves. I want something solid, whether it lasts forever or not depends on a lot of things.
I CAN’T EMOTIONALLY MULTITASK. I can really only give one person my full interest and attention at a time, which doesn’t bode well for these apps bc you gotta be able to bounce form one to the next no matter how excited you were about someone. These apps fucking suck.
Okay. Now let’s begin properly.
I started with Bumble. Yes. I know. Introverted female starting on a dating app that requires her to make the first move. That can’t go badly right.
I damn near have a panic attack every time I get a match I stg. Anyway.
I was skeptical at first. I’m not huge on people knowing a lot about me from the outset (or I wasn’t - i give so much less of a fuck now bc it makes almost no difference on these things) so my profile was pretty threadbare and cold. Now, a few weeks later, my profile is an efficient snapshot with a splash of Slytherin “Don’t fucking test me.”
Did I mention I’m an INTJ Scorpio? Yeah my entire approach is gonna scream that and my Hogwarts house, just you wait.
Round 1 ~ Bumble 🐝🍯
Okay so Bumble is interesting. For those who don’t know, it’s basically Beehive-Themed Tinder except for heterosexual couples, the lady has to initiate conversation. (Either party in a same sex match can message first) She has 24 hours from the point where her and a fella have “matched” to do so, then he has 24 hours to respond and seal the match – ending the time limits.
Bumble also gives you a rough estimate of how far away someone is sometimes. I’ve read articles about how bumble’s location estimate feature has ruined relationships forged through bumble and generally turned women into paranoid psychos over matches. Can. Fucking. Confirm. It’s the most annoying thing ever. Why?
Android vs Apple. That’s literally why.
The way Bumble’s location service is supposed to work is that everytime you open the app, it updates your location based on your phone or computer’s location. As far as I can tell, that’s exactly how it works on my android phone.
Apple users. Y’all are a problem. Not because I give a shit about your iPhone, I don’t give a shit do you ffs, but IOS location permissions can allow apps to update your location without the app being open.
Reread that for me.
Without. The app. Being. Open.
Which basically means if you match checks your profile, they can tell whether you’re where you were when they swiped right (say, 26 miles away) versus, oh idfk, a whole state or two away.
Real specific example I know. Why? Because I ended up unmatching a guy I REALLY wanted to get to know better because of it.
Though, to be fair, guys are really lax about how they behave on these apps in my opinion, which is a bigger problem than the stupid IOS setting.
Allow me to explain.
Dating App Etiquette 
It barely exists, but it should. Here’s the thing. On these apps, you basically swipe right on a pretty face and left on one you’re not interested in waking up to in the morning or sitting on. I’m only being half funny here. I’m convinced people use dating apps more for hookups than their intended purpose. Which, whatever, but for fuck’s sake make BumbleHookup. There’s BumbleDating, DumbleFriends, and BumbleNetwork or whatever. Just make BumbleDTF so we can filter these people out already.
BACK TO THE SINFULLY ATTRACTIVE AND INTERESTING DUDE I UNMATCHED
I’m still kinda peeved about this. In part at myself, but also just in general.
Most people seem to treat Bumble like Tinder. They don’t fill out their profile hardly at all. Have less than 3 pictures, have pictures that make it unclear who’s profile it is, or – my least favorite thing that is almost 100% regional – THEY REALLY FUCKING THINK A PICTURE OF THEM IN SUNGLASSES HOLDING A FUCKING FISH THEY JUST CAUGHT IS ATTRACTIVE. IT IS NOT. THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PICTURES ARE FOR. JUST SAY YOU LIKE TO FISH IN YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT ONE MORE MOTHER FUCKING FISH-
I’ve seen a lot of fish in the last few weeks. Like. So many that I’m basically auto swiping left if someone’s profile has less than 4 pictures and one or more contains a stupid fucking fish.
LOOK AT MY FUCKING USERNAME. LITTLEMULATTOKITTEN. IF A SELF-IDENTIFYING CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMANS BODY SAYS THERE’S TOO MANY FUCKING FISH – THERE ARE TOO MANY MOTHER FUCKING FISH.
I can guarantee this won’t be my last fish rant. You don’t understand how many fucking fish I’ve seen.
BUT THIS GUY DIDN’T HAVE ANY FISH IN HIS PROFILE.
So he already had my fucking attention. He was also startlingly handsome – not in a oh you exist off puss and nothing else there’s no other way someone as pretty as you with a penis could exist – but like “Oh. I’d…really like to look at that forever and sit on it if you’ll let me please.”
NOT ONLY DID I FIND HIM THAT ATTRACTIVE BUT HE SWIPED RIGHT ON ME TOO AND READ ENOUGH OF MY PROFILE TO ASK ME A QUESTION FROM THE LOWER HALF OF IT.
I was freaking the fuck out excited.
And frankly the odds of him seeing this are so fucking low that I’ll go ahead and tell you some specifics about the short convo we had, but nothing that could lead anyone back to him obviously.
He’d lived in my home state. First thing he asked was which city I was from. Then he guessed, claiming that guess was based off a beanie I was wearing in my second to last (I think) image available on my profile.
He’d lived in my home CITY. Which means he was familiar with the CULTURE. And would probably GET ME MORE THAN MOST GUYS IN MY AREA.
He worked in an industry/field I knew about and had almost gone into myself.
He was so fucking attractive. I have yet to come across someone who checked ever preliminary shallow box on my want list.
Biceps. Listen. We’re all a little shallow. Biceps do to me what ass and tiddy do to some guys. It’s one of the few really fucking strong visual things I have, followed by dark hair and blue eyes. But he was something of a gym rat, for sure, and I’d gladly torture myself at the gym if that man was going to be in my line of sight at all during the process.
Seriously. I’ve never seen someone who didn’t look like they had to be famous or an alien that made me go “He’s so pretty I want to cry.” EVER. I WANT TO CRY THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT MATCHED ANYMORE.
And last but not least – like almost every fucking match I’ve ever made, I could count his replies on one hand before he went radio silent.
So, how does this relate to that location issue, you may ask.
Because I didn’t fucking know that Bumble could update your location on some devices without you opening the app.
There’s no online/activity indicator for Bumble except their location updating. Which, when you’re really excited to get to know someone and they suddenly vanish, but they’re more likely than not still online, you might start to feel like you’ve been put on hold.
Life stuff, yes, makes sense, I get it. But these apps have push notifications (which can be buggy) and if you’ve matched with someone, odds are you’re interested enough to check back on occasion (unless you aren’t). So it quickly became a worry game.
Because, like I said, I can’t just say “I’m excited about you, but I’ll keep browsing”. I don’t work that way. Unless I’m not excited about someone, then yeah I’ll keep scatter-shotting. But if I’m not excited to get to know someone why the fuck would I swipe right.
Anyway. After a few days of silence, I was disappointed and getting bitter and the few proverbial bones I’d thrown him had gone unanswered. I knew I was overthinking it and letting my own insecurities get to me a bit, but at the end of the day, there’s a few general courtesies that should exist in online dating culture that don’t.
Why people are afraid or hesitant to say they’re too busy to respond much in their profiles is beyond me. Some guys have the right idea announcing that they’re bad at checking the app and offering their snapchat or telling matches to ask for it.
But even if you’re testing the waters with another match, we’re all on this app for the same fucking reason. Say so. I’m not the kind of person who will need to, because I don’t operate that way on these apps, but I would. Because if that person is really bothered by you finding out if you’re more compatible with someone you matched with prior to them, that tells you something about them.
Would I have been disappointed if that had been the case with this guy? Yeah, kinda. I probably would have felt like his second choice at best, even if he’d come back to chatting with me. But that’s how these fucking apps are designed. Buckle up or unmatch. Fuck your emotions and self-esteem.
I unmatched for my sanity, because that happened a few days into this whole experiment and I wasn’t on any other sites yet. I wasn’t really prepared to deal with this whole thing yet and I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like shit and decided that if he showed up in my feed again, maybe I’d super swipe him (paid extra special right swipe that tells them you REALLY like their face and whatever) but I still don’t know what I’ll do if he does. 
Lowkey hoping it was all a misunderstanding and whatever but like, not at all holding out for that because what are the fucking odds.
And again, my disappointment stems mostly from the fact that I was really excited to get to know him. The idea of finding someone on this stupid app in less than a week who wasn’t forcing his fish pictures in my face, would absolutely be the type of person to encourage my own wellness goals, and who was obviously smart because of his career path, was such an exciting thought. If we’d hit it off and gotten along really well, I’d have been so many levels of shocked and overwhelmingly happy that I just don’t know what I’d do.
When someone who looks like they’re 100% your type actually reads your profile and swipes right – you get excited. I was really excited. I’m still a little sad/disappointed, but I’m basically over it.
Other Misc. Things I’ve Learned On Bumble and other Dating Apps As a Relationship Seeking User
Take every profile with a grain of salt unless it’s so blatantly straightforward. And then still toss a pinch in.
The pretty pretty pretty buff boys who look like their players but their profiles claim they want a relationship? Odds are still players. They will try to convince you there’s 10 inches in their pants. They clearly aren’t smart enough to know that’s biologically uncomfortable for females and the best way to end up in the emergency room with a ruined cervix so don’t even swipe right. They’ll just ask for nudes.
People who use dating sites have some odd, hive mind fixation with The Office.
“Jim looking for his Pam” is in most profiles. I’m not sure why. References to The Office or mentions of The Office are about as common as all the stupid fucking fish.
I live in the wrong part of the country to find guys I’m actually going to share interests with. Just wait until I tell you about my experience so far on OK Cupid. I literally won’t find anyone where I live unless they’re from somewhere culturally similar to where I was born and are willing to move back with me. Because I am not fucking staying in the land of the god damn fish forever.
Most people don’t look at religion and politics like I do. Which is “You do you, I’ll do me, we won’t talk about it and we can peacefully do each other.” I don’t fucking care if your politics contradict mine if that’s the only thing we have not in common. Just make it a blacklisted subject and don’t let one frankly insignificant difference of opinion ruin an entire relationship or potential relationship. And same with religion. I’m not even a little religious. I don’t care if my future husband is unless it’s in my face constantly, he tries to “convert me”, get me to go to church with him, or some other blatant disrespect of my own religious standing. You worship whatever you want. I’ll right fanfiction about magic demon princes fucking their human-born demon queen every which way to Sunday. If religion is that big of a fucking deal for you, be upfront about it. Most people are in their bios. Either way, I’m really fucking sick of people who put too much weight into these two things like they actually decide how compatible you are with someone unless you let them.
I fucking hate fish.
Dating apps need more filters and ways to narrow down searches. 90% of the filters already present are shallow as all hell. What’s a few more.
Primarily let me filter out a few NAMES. This sounds super picky, but I have a really big family. 7 uncles. Over 20 cousins including the few cousins of mine who have kids. There’s a few names that would just be weird and awkward for me to associate with a significant other. If I could filter out my stepdad’s first name (which is disgustingly common but still), my biological father’s name, and a few of my uncle’s names, that’d be fucking swell. You already let me filter by religion and race. Let me filter out some fucking names damnit.
And there have to be people who have traumatic associations with names too like?????
The Office is a funny, good show and all but WHY IS EVERYONE ON THESE APPS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT THE WAY I’M OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER. I’VE SEEN IT. IT’S NOT **THAT** FUCKING FUNNY. SOMEONE EXPLAIN.
YOU HOLDING A DEAD FISH ISN’T FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SIR. THIS ISN’T THE SHAPE OF WATER. SHOW ME YOUR FACE NOT YOUR FISH.
The dating apps that are probably actually worth using all require a paid subscription.
There’s no real way to advertise that you find sex and physical intimacy very important in a relationship without making yourself sound like a cock-thirsty whore. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, you do you, but I’m looking for someone to be a slut FOR, I’m not one already and I dislike not being able to be upfront about that without being profiled or attracting fuckboys.
WHY CAN I NOT FILTER OUT PROFILES THAT CONTAIN IMAGES OF FISH
STOP WITH THE FUCKING FISH COUNTRY BOYS. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMEONE TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR TACKLEBOX? AND DON’T TELL ME THAT’S THE SAME THING, MY FAMILY IS COUNTRY. IT AIN’T THE SAME FUCKING THING. ALL THAT FISH TELLS ME IS THAT YOU’RE PROBABLY COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING.
Judging by the few fish-fucks with their profiles filled out at all – they’re compensating for personality.
With how shallow the filters on these sites are, just go ahead and fucking add eye color, hair, etc. Seriously. If you’re gonna let me be shallow enough to only pick men of a certain ethnicity, and religion, you may as fucking well let me see if I can find a guy with blue eyes, biceps, dark hair, non religious, who doesn’t want kids without reading every fucking profile I come across.
There are way more guys on these sites who want or think they want children some day. This baffles me. But then again my primary reason for not wanting children is pregnancy and giving birth which wouldn’t be their problem so of course they want them.
I just need to auto left-swipe if I see a fish. These apps are shallow anyway. Do not make a fucking fishing joke just because I said shallow.
OK Cupid has a better matching system than Bumble and such, but it’s still irritating as all hell. You can’t choose question categories that are more important. So if I see a 91% match, but he has no sex questions filled out or our sexual compatibility is like…50%...that’s not REALLY a 91% match for me. Let me mark 2 or 3 question categories as priority for fucks sake.
The bulk of guys on these apps fall into 2 categories (for me anyway) – Not enough giveadamn to explain their presence on the site & thank u, next.
Online dating is disappointing as fuck.
I’m seriously going to lose my mind if I can’t get away from the fucking fish pictures. ENOUGH. I GET IT. I NEED TO MOVE.
Seriously – I. Need. To. Move. Back. Home. I am not meant for this part of the country. These good ole boys are meant for someone but it ain’t me and my family is fucking country. I’ve been fishing, ridden 4-wheelers, made shit out of wood for shits and giggles, helped my grandparents in the garden, eaten deer my grandfather or uncles hunted and prepared, helped chop wood, ridden in the bed of a truck, etc etc etc. But ya bitch has lifestyle goals that only include mud at scheduled times. We can go camping, but we should also go out to dinner sometimes and go clubbing or dancing other times.
I was not born with this ass to settle for a man who looks like an angel and acts like one too. Why is no one non-ironically blunt about their sexual preferences?  You cannot convince me that the majority of men lack strong opinions on this subject. SERIOUSLY. IT IS 2019 NOT 1619. God DAMNIT. You’re on a DATING SITE. THAT’S AN ASPECT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN MAKE OR BREAK THEM. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.
It’s not even actually about sharing every interest. I don’t give a shit if he doesn’t like Harry Potter much. If he’s annoyed by the level I like it, yeah that’s an issue. Otherwise, be supportive and kind about that kinda shit. That’s all I’m asking for. That’s how I am in return.
I make shit with yarn, write off the wall fanfiction, have a lot of sexual interests I don’t usually broadcast, and don’t understand how dating sites are still this ineffective in 2019.
This is super long already so I’m gonna save the other apps for a separate installment if this one is enjoyed or whatever. Jesus. These apps, guys.
Apps I still need to talk about that probably won’t require this many words each – Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid (OkC might need a few thousand words).
I’ll probably look into some other niche dating sites too because at this point, what the fuck ever - I just wanna meet someone back home or willing to move back home with me who fits some reasonable criteria parameters. And I’m not even as picky as half the profiles I’ve seen, lemme tell ya. I’m just fucking opinionated. And beyond sick of this experiment already.
Sigh.
If I ever see a fish again it’ll be too soon. Bet the first profile picture on my bumble dash later will be another fucking fish though.
Those who expressed interest: @accio-echo  |  @infallibleangel  | @aconitumluparia  and those who liked are my followers so you’ll see it. This post is so long my browser is bugging out with tags or I’d tag you all too.
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