#not me throwing virtual rocks at my friends to pay attention to me

[asiananeurysm]

.

[pthalomars]

Synopsis of Jay's Empire AU⚡⚡

[[Made by me and @culturalmochi ]]

The way it starts out is that Jay goes on a solo mission, finds the hard drive for Prime Empire, and gets trapped in the game.

Nobody knows where he went, so the ninja are desperately trying to find him.

Time in game moves a lot faster than in real life, so a few weeks for the ninja is a few months (close to a year) inside of the game.

Jay met Scott and he showed him the ropes of the game, but tried to subtly warn him about Unagami. Jay spent a lot of time leveling up and grinding so he could get high stats, but later found out that he wasn't able to leave or communicate with the outside world. Enter Unagami.

Unagami tells Jay that he sees potential in him, and that he's impressed with his progress through the game. They begin to have a sort of mentor/mentee kind of relationship.

Once again, time moves much faster in game. So jay starts to miss the real world and tells Unagami that he misses his friends. Unagami tells Jay, "if they were really your friends, they would have come back for you by now, wouldn't they?"

Later on, Jay is approached by none other than the ninja! His dearest friends finally coming back to rescue him and bring him home!

But as he spends more time with them, something feels... wrong. It turns out they're NPC's, and in his mission objective list, it says he has to "discard" them. So he does, and they crumble into little pixelated cubes. He levels up.

This repeats several times, each time the ninja dupes become more rude, indifferent, hateful. At some point they become so far removed from their true counterparts that the only thing in common they share is their appearances.

Then comes the time where Unagami is ready to open the game to the rest of the world. He brings Jay to help him spread the word by broadcasting an advertisement for Prime Empire.

That's when the ninja find out where Jay has been this whole time.

So the real gang enters Prime Empire and find Jay, who looks displeased to see them even if he tries to hide it.

Everyone is so happy to see him and to bring him out of the game, surrounding him with hugs and tears of joy.

But then Jay checks his objectives. "Discard the ninja". It's the same as it's always been, so he goes along with it.

But as Jay journeys with his friends through the game, he slowly comes to the realization that they aren't NPC's.. they're his real friends.

Scott, when he was first sucked in by the game, leveled up really fast and eventually gained the attention of Unagami. Unagami said he saw "great potential" in him and gave him access to the coding of the game. For Scott, this means he can essentially influence and change parts of the game, but not always by his own free will. With him being connected to the coding, that includes his thoughts, emotions, memories, trauma, etc. this connection also gave Unagami a way to keep track of where Scott was and what he was doing at all times. 

so eventually, Unagami wants to bring empire to the physical world, but he needs help getting the world out. he tells Scott his plan and Scott is like "actually, fuck this :)" and escapes from Unagami. in order to keep him from tracking his every move, Scott cuts off his own connection to the game's code. He hunkers down in his hideout and tries to plot a way to a)escape and b)prevent Unagami from taking over the real world. 

so finally, Jay enters the game! Scott finds him running away from red visors and picks him up and takes him to his hideout. Scott explains the general rules of the game, gives him tips on how to survive, glitches, cheats, all of it. but he tries to warn him about Unagami and Jay is too enraptured with the thrall of the game to pay any mind to Scott's warnings. Jay starts leveling up and progressing, very similar to how Scott did, and gained the same kind of attention from Unagami. he saw great potential in him. at that point, Scott says that Jay can't come to the hideout anymore, and Jay asks why. Scott says "i already told you, but you didn't listen to me." and so Jay goes to Unagami. Unagami promises him steep advantages in the game, protection, etc and Jay is going along with it because, to him, its still just a game. the gravity of the situation hasn't quite hit him yet. he doesn't know that he's trapped. 

so now, Jay and Unagami have a sort of mentor/mentee kind of relationship, and Jay very much fits into the role of the teachers pet. the red visors are **VERY** protective of him and will often accompany him wherever he goes unless he tells them to leave (sometimes they listen, sometimes they dont). There is one red visor who is particularly close to Jay. she goes with him everywhere and is the most protective of him compared to the other RV's. Jay tries to talk with her sometimes, and one day he asks her what her name is. her voice glitches out a lot, like something is corrupted in her code. she repeats "four o-oh four-r-r AA e-rror-r four o-o-oh four-r AA" and Jay is like "hmm.. rora? can i call you rora?" and she just nods at him. (Rora becomes important later!!)

so anyways, going back to how Unagami has adopted Jay as his mentee, Jay has the same kind of access to the game's coding that Scott does. including the influence of his memories and past traumas. this manifests in several ways, but one of which is how the NPC clones of the ninja interact with him. Jay has a lot of issues with self esteem and often fears that nobody really cares about him, finds him annoying, etc. so with each iteration of the ninja dupes, they become meaner and meaner until the only resemblance they share to their irl counterparts is their physical appearance. 

Jay (not realizing that Unagami is the one creating the dupes) goes to Unagami to vent about how he misses his friends and wishes they could join him in the game. Unagami tells Jay "if they were really your friends, they would have come for you by now. They probably forgot about you. but it's not you ever needed them anyways. here, you are powerful, loved by everybody, adored by the masses. in here, you are important." gotta love that gaslight gatekeep gameboss moment. eventually, Unagami is ready to bring prime empire to the physical world once he's seen Jay get to the same point that Scott was at. Unagami says that he needs Jays help to deliver the message, and that crossing the line between digital and physical means that Jay can go back to the real world while still maintaining the same power and reputation he has in the game. Jay agrees and works with Unagami to make an advertisement. 

this is the advertisement script: 

[Do you want to join Prime Empire?

“What is Prime Empire?” it’s a fully immersive, futuristic video game experience! Using the latest virtual emulation technology, players are quite literally part of the game. Customize your avatar, meet other players, level up, and compete in tournaments!

“But how do I join?” The answer is simple, silly! Prime Empire can be found in your arcades, in your consoles, even on your phones! You would have to live under a rock to not find your way in.

“How do I win?” Your quest is to seek out the legendary Keytanas. But be warned, there are challenges that you will face. Deadly forests, dangerous races, and more! Will you rise above the rest and claim your rightful victory?

Join today, but don’t delay! Only the first 100 players will get a chance to meet yours truly (winks). In the Super Star Rocking Jay event, I will teach you the ropes of the game, along with exclusive tips that will give you an advantage over other players!

Do you have what it takes? Prove your worth and become part of Prime Empire!] 

however, Scott has caught wind of the ad, and so he hacks into the broadcast and tries to warn everybody to "STAY OUT OF PRIME EMPIRE!!" but once again, his warnings fall on deaf ears. 

however, now the ninja know where Jay has been all this time! they manage to be part of the 1st 100 players in the game and go to the super star rocking Jay event. Kai, Nya, Lloyd, Cole, pixal and zane all get in the game. but due to their own coding, pixal and zane despawn and get plopped back in the real world within the first 10mins of the game. They spend a lot of time outside of prime empire trying to find ways to re-enter the game.

so now we finally get to when the (remaining) ninja meet up with Jay, and he is disappointed at best when he sees them. but when they surround him with love and hugs and tears of joy, it throws him off guard. all of the NPC's were never this kind to him. He checks his objective menu and a new notification shows up. "discard the ninja". same as it's always been. part of the objective has always been to "not let the ninja know that you know they are fakes." but after all of this time, Jay has grown tired and so he doesn't really bother trying to keep up appearances. he won't flat out say that he thinks they're fakes, but his demeanor is completely off. 

the ninja make it to okino and they start going through the forest, the cliffs, and finally the maze of the red dragon. throughout this time, there are several little moments that lead Jay to believe that these might be his real friends. he tries to write them off, but it keeps nagging at him. in the canon scene where Unagami pauses the game and talks to okino, its the same except its Jay that Unagami talks to. "just wanted to check in with you, everything is still going according to plan, correct?" Jay responds with "yes, but these ones are different. none of the other clones have acted so.. so close to my real friends." Unagami scoffs "these ones are just as fake as the others. make sure you complete your objective. we are very close to bridging the gap, and I wouldn't want anybody to hold you back from being at my side when we cross over." Jay agrees and the game resumes. 

Jay has the perfect opportunity to let his friends perish at the hands of the dragon, but something in him screams at him to help them win. he points out the scale on the back of the dragon, they defeat it, and Jay gets the dragon summon. instead of keeping it, he gives it to Cole. "i figure you guys will probably need it more than me. I've got higher stats, i can take care of myself." (that dragon summon becomes important later) so ANYWAY now its time for the speedway 5billion. but they don't have enough credits so they have to get some extra money. the gang goes to the dance battle, but! theres also a karaoke battle they have to participate in. Jay and Cole sing Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears (this song is also important later!) and they win the contest and get enough credits to enter the race. however... 

by this point in time, Jay is pretty sure that this group is his **real** friends, and he doesn't feel like he can go through with his objective anymore. besides, would clones really dance with him? sing his favorite songs with him? watch out for him when danger approaches? smile at him with such kindness and sincerity? clones wouldnt, but his real friends would. once again, his connection to the code means that Unagami is able to track him, and also take peeks into his mind. Unagami senses this realization and pauses the game again to confront him. "Jay, you must not let these clones cloud your judgement. you still have a mission to complete." Jay says "Unagami, these aren't dupes! they're really my friends, and they came back for me! i can't just "discard" them like you want me to. I won't!" "you WILL if you ever want to leave this digital space. if you will not join me in bridging the gap, then you will be left in here for all of eternity. the choice is yours, Jay walker." and with that, the game resumes. 

the ninja are all talking and they realize that Jay has gone silent. "Jay? you good?" Kai asks. Jay snaps out of it and reassures them that he's fine. but thats when he sees *him*. in the crowd of NPC's bustling about the city, he sees nadakhan. staring at him with that evil, calculated grin and begins approaching them. Jay's eyes go wide and his stomach drops. "are you sure you're okay?" Lloyd asks. "we.. we need to get out of here. we need to leave *now*" Jay says with a quiet, wavering voice. Just as he moves to flee, Nya gasps.

It was the scene of Nya dying. She was cradled in Jay's arms, muttering her last words before going completely limp. The master of lightning shook with broken sobs, clinging to his friend as if holding her tight enough could bring her back. That was the day that Jay Walker had lost everything.

And now, that moment was set on an infinite loop, broadcasted on every screen in the capital city of Prime Empire.

Jay was frozen, unable to do anything but succumb to his rising panic.

Nya was in a similar state, feeling the sharp pains of her chest that came from her old wound. She remembered dying, the pain and vulnerability. Now her final moments were in full display.

The rest of them gazed in horror and confusion, unable to comprehend what was going on. Jay thinks he heard Kai yelling, maybe he was asking why his sister was dying over and over again. Cole sounded like he was trying to warn everyone about the approaching assailants. Those of which looked like clones of the Misfortune's crew, including their tyrannical captain.

It was all too much. Jay felt his digital blood freeze in his veins, his air cutting off entirely, and his vision slowly turning to static.

Nadakhan. Nya. Tiger widow venom. Kai. Nadhakan. Nya. Zane. Cole. Nya. Lloyd. Nadakhan. Nya. Nya. Nya. N-

Jay's friends tried to reach for him, to help him, but then it happened.

An explosion of lightning burst from Jay's body, flooding through the city with blue and white pixelated sparks. And once the wave had passed, the city went dark. The screens that were looping that wretched day were now idle. The Misfortune's crew were nowhere to be seen. Jay had fallen unconscious. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Scott asked, his face contorted in concern.

"Scott, it- its Jay. He had this weird power surge and he-" Lloyd stuttered before him and his friends were roughly yanked inside of Scott's hideout.

Cole was carrying Jay's limp body, and followed Scott's instructions to lay him on the workbench. But not before he had thrown all of his tools and blueprints on the ground in a rush.

"What did you say? About a power surge?"

"It was-" Lloyd started again

"It was like he exploded," Kai cut in, "we've never seen his element act like that."

"The city, it went dark." Nya added.

"And there was something going on with the city screens, they were showing-" said Cole.

"My sister dying! Over and over again! That's not part of the game, right?!"

"Guys guys! Chill the fuck out, one at a time." Scott demanded. They all went quiet before Nya spoke up.

"The screens showed one of Jay's memories. One of his most traumatic ones. NPC's started changing into people that.. are related to that memory. They started attacking us from all sides. Jay had gone into a panic attack before he surged. That wave of power blew out the whole city's power and everything went dark. After that he passed out."

Scott looked at her with a look of dread.

"This is worse than I thought.."

"What do you mean worse? Scott, what's wrong with Jay?" Cole asked. Scott sighed.

"He's.. he's become part of the game."

"Like an NPC?" Lloyd said.

"No, not an NPC. His memories, his soul, his life force- it's bleeding into the coding of the game. His emotions and memories are able to affect the behavior of the game. Environments, NPCs, everything."

"How do you know all of that, Scott?" Nya interjected.

"Because he's just like me."

"What??" The ninja said in unison.

"When I first came into the game, Unagami wanted me to bring Prime Empire to the real world. To break out of this digital prison and conquer the rest of the physical world. I agreed to help him because I didn't see any other way out of this hellscape. He granted me access to the code. So I'm just as connected to Prime Empire as Jay is. My memories are there too.

But the thing is, is that I've cut myself off of the code. It's the only way I could hide from Unagami, since I had abandoned ship and didn't want to help him anymore. I'm a threat because I can affect the code.

But if I don't connect to it, I stay hidden.

But Jay, his connection is so strong by this point. Everything he does changes the game.

He's gonna be okay, for now, but I can't guarantee the same for all of you." Scott finished, his eyes sunken and tired.

"Wh- what are we supposed to do then? How can we get Jay out of here?" Kai asked.

"Beat the game. As far as I know, there's no other way out of here."

They all looked at each other, faces grim but determined.

"Well we can't leave here without Jay, can we stay here until he wakes up?" Said Nya.

"Absolutely not." Scott replied.

"What? Why??" Cole butted in.

"The longer you guys stay here, with h i m, the more danger all of us are in. Jay is part of the coding, Unagami can find him. And that means he can find u s."

"Well how do we wake him up? There's gotta be some way!" Lloyd pleaded.

Scott looked at Jay's unconscious form.

"Fuck, okay, let me try something." 

so Scott does the only thing he can think of that might work. he reconnects himself to the game's code in order to "plug in" to Jay and wake him up. when he plugs in, Scott sees Jay in a dark, endless room. he's crouched on the ground, sobbing and shaking

But thrashing from his body is manifestations of his trauma, like a horrible amalgamation that is distorting his physical form and its. Horrifying.

Scott looks at him and tries to approach him without getting hurt

He gets to him and he makes contact with his shoulder and then the surge of energy happens and he gets unplugged and shot across the room, and Jay wakes up with a start, chest heaving and his eyes still wet with tears. Cole is there right next to Jay, and Jay clings onto him like a lifeline. Kai wraps his arms around Jay too and they hold him and comfort him as best they can. Lloyd and Nya go over to Scott to see if he's okay. he groans and sits up, Lloyd and Nya help him stand. "what happened? what was that??" Nya asks. "I woke him up. but its not safe anymore. you guys have to get him out of here, or else Unagami is gonna show up and if he does.. well its safe to assume it'll be game over for all of us." 

"we still have to win the highway 5billion and get the second keytana." Cole says, "and we need cars." Scott sighs at this, "i've got cars you can use, i won't be using them very much anymore anyways." "what does that mean?" Kai asks. "did you not hear me? its game over. you guys have to get Jay out of here." Scott says. "Scott, you know the game better than anyone, we need your help. will you race with us?" Nya pleads. Scott is about to reject when he looks at Jay. Jay is looking at him with a look that breaks his heart. "fine. I'll race with you guys." 

so they fix up the cars and enter the SW5B and Scott is like "i guess if we're going in, i might as well get a new look." so he customizes his avatar (if u check my post with his redesign, thats the avatar he has, the glowing parts of his outfit change colors!) and they start the race! Scott doesn't have his own car, instead he's jumping from vehicle to vehicle and taking out the other drivers so that the ninja can win. he uses his baseball bat as a melee weapon but it can also shoot lasers! Kai still gets that loot box upgrade and has the running mech, and just like in canon, Cole and Kai get cubed. so does Scott, he gets run over lol. now its just Jay, Nya, and Lloyd and they make their way to the temple of madness.

then we have the fight. in canon its Lloyd and harumi, but in this au, Jay enters the arena instead. he gets in and the game picks his fighter. expecting it to be someone he's fought before, he prepares himself. but nothing could have prepared him for who he saw standing in front of him. it was echo zane. 

Nya stares in horror and Lloyd is confused. "who is that? that can't be zane, right? why would he be part of the game?" Lloyd asks. Nya can't say anything, and neither can Jay. Jay wants to give up, he cant fight echo. someone who helped him in the most dire of times, only to be left alone on that island for the rest of eternity. Jay had never gone back for him, and that guilt he felt had just kicked into high gear having to look echo in the eyes. but then echo starts attacking him, and Jay has to defend himself. Jay wins, and sees echo disappear after the final blow. the walls of the arena disappear and Jay falls to his knees. Lloyd and Nya move in immediately to help him up. "seriously, what the hell is going on?? why aren't you guys saying anything??" Lloyd demands. "we can't talk about it right now, Lloyd. we'll have to tell you later." Nya says quietly. her voice is tight and dies in her throat. Lloyd gets the hint and doesn't push it any further. 

so the three of them make it through the sushi restaurant and make it to the gate with the 3 keytanas. Jay, Lloyd, and Nya go to put in the blades and they open the gate. standing in front of them is none other than Unagami. "Jay, you have disappointed me. you were so important, so valued, and you have thrown that away for the sake of your so-called 'friends'. thankfully, there is still a place for you." Unagami says. "i don't WANT a place with you! you've hurt me, you've hurt my friends, you've hurt so many innocent people. all of those cubes? those are REAL PEOPLE! i can't let you do this Unagami. I won't let you get away with this." Jay says defiantly. Unagami sighs, "i was hoping it would not come to this. but if you chose to act this way, you will face the consequences. you will help me bridge this gap, whether you like it or not." and Unagami holds out his hands. an intense blue beam of light bursts from his palms and hits Jay square in the chest. the light is absorbed by his body and his form begins to glitch and spasm violently. mochi and i have called this the Blue Screen of Death. (tw for mild(?) body horror) Jay is overcome by the blue and his body begins to grow and distort, all the while he's screaming and his cries are glitched out and staticky. Lloyd and Nya watch, frozen in fear as their friend begins to grow to massive size, writhing in agony. Jay thrashes and knocks into both of them, sending them off the side of the platform and cubing them. the last two energy cubes join the gate and Jay crawls through. 

(with this scene, in the background, the lorde version of everybody wants to rule the world would be playing, just as a nice parallel to the song from earlier at the karaoke battle)

MEANWHILE, as pixal and zane attempted to find ways to get back into the game, find milton dyer, etc, zane gets captured by the mechanic. everything goes the same as it does in canon where the mechanic hooks zane up to the gate. 

and now, we get a look at where everybody who got cubed resides. Scott, when he was cubed, was greeted by Unagami personally. he criticized him for his actions and expressed his disappointment before ultimately locking him inside of a digital cell. Scott figured that this was how the rest of his life would be, trapped in a cage with no way out and no way to die. but then! Rora shows up. that corruption in her system from the beginning? that was her beginning to break away from her coding and becoming more of a person. she saw what happened to Jay, and she wants to help him. she breaks Scott out and they agree to work together to save Jay. but they're gonna need all the help they can get. together, Scott and rora free the ninja and all of the other cubed players and they make it through the portal. 

and thats where they see Jay, now as tall as the skyscrapers in ninjago city and wreaking havoc on the entire area. 

everyone looks up at him in utter horror and see just how corrupted he's become. he's wailing in pain as he drives his guitar down on building after building. thrashing and flailing, causing the structures around him to crumble and collapse. "how the fuck are we gonna fix this?!" Nya cries. "i can help." Unagami approaches them. everyone gets into fighting stances, ready to beat Unagami into the pavement. "i did not realize that corrupting him would turn out like this. i know how to fix him, but i need your help." "why should we help YOU?" Kai growls. "if you want to save your city and your friend from complete destruction, you *will* help me." and so Unagami explains that if they can lure Jay back through the portal, Unagami can undo his corruption and fix Jays "coding" 

so now the ninja are trying to figure out how to get Jay's attention and bring him back through the portal. it seems like nothing is working, and then Cole gets an idea. he starts singing the lyrics to everybody wants to rule the world. it seems to get Jay's attention, so he keeps singing.

the others hear him and they join in. now they have Jay's attention, and he's closing in on them. that dragon summon from earlier? now thats when that comes in handy. Cole calls the digidragon and rides it so that Jay cant crush him while he lures him back to the portal. low and behold, they manage to get Jay through the portal, Unagami purifies his "coding" and they return to the physical world once again. Unagami gets to have his talk with milton and all of the npcs+pcs that want to come out do, and the others stay in the game. the city is in shambles, the portal closes, and zane+pixal+wu reunite with the others. 

the car ride home is very quiet. everyone is exhausted, Jay is asleep and leaning on Cole's shoulder. they have a lot to talk about, but for now, they just want to sleep through the night. they make it home, go to their separate rooms, and go to bed.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand thats pretty much all of it!! theres a little epilogue that has snippets of what Scott, racer 7, okino, and rora do now that they're outside of the game, but thats just kinda there lol.

[prorevenge]

Bridezilla Karen ends up looking like a pauper at her own wedding.

I (F48) have known “Pat” (F48) for decades. As far as I can remember, she was fixated on having 5 children and a picket fence dream life. I slowly cut ties with her in college because she was an opportunist and I didn’t trust her. She is both manipulative and forceful. Her idea of cute rubs me the wrong way. Pat likes to walk like a penguin when she wants to elicit pity, and she usually does this when she wants to evoke the underdog narrative. I’ve never seen someone act so despicable and ridiculous at the same time.

I moved on with my life. Happily got rid of her for years. Pat eventually found me on facebook. I accepted her friend request out of politeness.

Pat has become the epitome of a permissive mother. Her (5) kids do as they please and she never calls them out. She tried to force a relationship between me and her daughters and made them call me Auntie. Pat tried to drop them at my house uninvited. Her phone calls were insistent, she tried to monopolize my time and she began to show up at my job. I created some boundaries so she tried to find loopholes. It was a nightmare.

My husband and I hosted a party for the community center (not the real name) new members. The community center is actually a very informal initiative and my husband and I mainly serve the homeless population. We prefer to help strangers instead of catering to potentially narcissistic acquaintances. We don't mind lending a hand but we have encountered truly dishonest choosing beggars.

There are other services, like one of the members who helps women get their wedding and prom dresses for free.The community center location “headquarters” is actually a farm owned by an elderly couple. There is a barn, a venue and a very nice green field with an artificial lake and some fowl. They charge for the use of their facilities (weddings , etc.) but not for community oriented stuff.

Pat had always been salty at her husband for demanding that she go back to work after baby #3. In the meantime, he worked three jobs. She demanded he get her pregnant to fulfill her dream of having 5 kids. He didn’t agree, because he was already nearly 45 and felt like he might never be able to retire. She got away with bringing new babies into this world anyway. Her fascination with being pregnant comes from all the attention she gets. She had at least one miscarriage in between each kid.

Pat latched on to our group. She never missed any of our activities. I hated having her in my house, but it was an open invitation that included virtually everyone and she was very active as an event organizer. I didn’t like the way her kids behaved. We have a designated area for parties and entertainment, but her kids ended up inside my bedroom. We ended up having to keep watch of them and enjoyed zero of our own party.

I called her days later to get my point across (regarding their overall behavior) but she completely cut me off and began talking about herself and said her kids wanted to come visit again and use our pool. I never answered that. I didn't want to say “no, I will not have your brats over”.

She also called me as summer was approaching specifically to let me know her middle daughter was bored and wanted to spend a WEEK at our home. I politely declined, citing that me and my husband have to work and cannot entertain guests. .

Pat paid no heed. Her kid called me on the weekend,calling me “auntie” and attempted to coax me by saying “Mom says you invited me to spend SUMMER with you”. I quickly clarified, and offered an explanation to avoid hurting a kid’s self esteem. Nevermind. Her daughter just hung up on me.

Pat’s facebook also showed some red flags. Some cryptic rants here and there were visible, along with friends’ comments and complaints on how she asked a particular person to watch her kids only for a couple of hours and ended up leaving them all day. Another of her friends criticized her “girls night out “ because Pat had just asked them to be patient and wait until she could pay back some money that she owed them, yet she had money to spend on Friday night outings. I thought those very public comments on private matters were more like a cry of lost patience.

Unpleasant things began to happen. Like the time she volunteered to wrap the Xmas presents for underprivileged kids. We all wanted to create a mix of less costly gifts with really nice ones. Surprisingly, some nice and eye-catching toys and games went missing but turned up under her Christmas Tree (courtesy of her mother in law’s FB posts). No one could prove anything but it was hate-inducing. Or the time my daughter called me in tears to pick her up after she attended Pat’s daughter’s birthday (Casey). My daughter had been ignored all night because she didn’t gift her the expensive gaming stuff Casey practically demanded. My daughter did ask, but I said no. We would buy her a very nice and thoughtful present according to her taste. So when I went to pick her up my daughter was sitting alone in the living room while Casey and her friends stayed outside.

Stories about Pat and her family multiplied. The owners at the farm (community center) decided keep their their gates locked unless they had guests or events because Pat got in the habit of driving in whenever she pleased and it was either her kids screaming and disturbing on-going weddings, throwing rocks at the koi in the lake or harassing the geese in the yard. Or how she stiffed another soccer mom with the lunch bill and then pulled the struggling financially card. Or how other parents hated her because she created unnecessary hostile competition.

When my daughter turned 13, I allowed her to wear my grandma’s ring. It's not an expensive piece of jewelry, but it's vintage and girls nowadays wanna look boho. My Granny gave it to me when I became a teenager so I passed it on to my kid so she could wear it on her birthweek.

It was weird that she became quiet and distracted after that. She also didn’t want to go to school and my husband and I became suspicious. She never opened up, and my other kids had no clue.

We went to her school but her teachers assured us nothing had changed in her environment. My husband and I suspected she was being bullied but our kid gave us no tools to support her. My kid is very sunny, and very compassionate. She has never had any problems with other kids. I called her best friend’s mom. Natalie, my kid’s BFF, told us what was going on. Casey (Pat’s eldest) and my daughter had become “close”. I knew this and wasn’t too thrilled. I found the age (Casey was 17) gap not exactly inappropriate but I’d rather see my daughter spend time with friends in the same age range. Casey is very beautiful and a gifted student. She is also very conceited. To make this story short, she asked my daughter if she could try on the ring and refused to give it back. She later claimed that she lost it but “would look for it” so my daughter was distraught. My daughter kept asking for her ring and as a result, Casey shunned her and spread the word that my kid was trying to steal HER ring. Some kids at school took Casey’s side. So now Casey just wore my kid’s jewelry to school like nothing happened. If that doesn’t qualify as taunting I don't know what does.

My guilt comes from not being able to get my daughter to open up and feel safe telling me the truth. I talked to her and she burst into tears. I was both pained as a mother and furious that some teenage b!tch was doing this under our noses.

I went straight to Pat’s car after school. I asked to talk as Casey was about to go in. So I grabbed Casey’s hand and asked to see her jewelry. Casey froze and she tried to make a fist, so I became relentless. Casey yelled “Mom!” and Pat struggled to get out of the car. I slid the ring off (Casey has tiny hands and wore the ring on her index finger). First Pat yelled at me. After I confronted her with the engraving on the band (my grandma's maiden name), she argued it was loaned to her daughter by my kid. Then she said she bought it. I paid no heed. I did warn them that I knew Casey had become an abusive friend to my daughter.

Pat called me to tell me off. She said she was trying to raise an assertive young woman and I had just messed that up by being “overbearing”. She never apologized for her thief of a child.

Pat's husband ( Hank) is what can be described as a doormat. Pat wore him down to a knob. He had no choice but to “obey” her to keep the peace. She was a bully who actively withdrew affection when he didn’t follow her wishes, even in public. So she got kids #4 and #5 after a relentless campaign that included leaving him for two months. Her pregnancies were a nuisance because she expected to be treated like the only lady who has even been pregnant. She strolled around in a wheelchair almost immediately after getting pregnant and she would “get very sick” on weekends, so her kids were often sent to friends and family so that she could “rest”.

Pat systematically bullied Hank. She would leave town and take the kids with her. Poor Hank would look distraught, drinking on his porch or just looking really lonely. This is how she got off the hook and was able to leave her job. Hank had virtually no voice, so he struggled to keep the marriage together. Everyone liked him, but hated her equally. Hank loved to talk to other people but seemed concerned that Pat would be upset. Over time, according to my husband, Hank began to show signs of depression and mental distress.

Our friend, Lenah, runs the wedding/prom dress initiative. It's not complicated. Dresses are sourced from donations, ebay, trunk shows, etc. Unusually beautiful dresses are retained so that more than one bride gets to wear them. In some cases, a bride will pay 50 bucks, but most of the time, the dresses are donated to the bride.

Pat was involved in this. Lenah kept her in because they never had any issues and her task was limited to just shipping the dresses out.

Pat decided to renew her vows and her bridezilla Karenzilla attitude became the icing on the cake. For starters, she bullied another couple into giving up their wedding date at the farm because she “needed her renewal to match her exact wedding date”. They were not impressed with her harassment, so they booked another venue. As a result, the farm owners were pissed because Pat was already costing them money after she had successfully negotiated a cut in their rate “because she couldn't afford it but will repay by doing maintenance work around the venue” (she never made good on her word).

Pat became attached to a particular dress that was already assigned to another bride. Lenah made it clear that she would need to pay for her own dress. So Pat played it cool and shipped the wrong gown instead. She was adamant that it was the right dress, despite all the notes on Leah’s agenda. The other bride was truly gracious about it. She was obviously disappointed, but never made a scene.

What bothered me most is that I picked that dress and bought it for 40 bucks at a garage sale (not my money, Leah’s money). It was a vintage dress, ankle length, white with lots of lace and a huge bargain. Again, when confronted, Pat “did a Casey” and used the “this is mine” strategy. We felt so bad for the other bride that we did our best to get her something nice to wear. The other bride was a true fighter, she had pulled out of welfare, earned her high school diploma and was working to get on her feet by trying to earn a certificate as an acrylic nail technician. So, her reward was to have some Karen steal her dress? Pat never admitted to messing up, but just by the fact that she claimed it was her dress, we knew.

Lenah never allowed her in her warehouse again. Their last phone fight ended with Pat bringing up the other bride’s past (like it mattered) and “this conversation is over, it's my dress and you are mistaken”. That was weeks before the other bride’s wedding.

Pat went all out on her wedding decor. She spent way too much. She hired a caterer for some food (mainly mimosas and appetizers), but the wedding invitation included a request for specific dishes for her Sunday brunch wedding. Either she ran out of banquet money or was on a complete moocher mode.I picture the penguin walking upon practically asking everyone to supply her wedding reception grub and I cringe.

There is nothing wrong with potluck weddings. In fact, they can be a nice addition to a very cozy and family oriented wedding reception. But, don’t you need to at least be close to your guests in order to ask for such a thing? Even I got an invitation. I told everyone I wasn’t going because I was very uncomfortable being told what to bring and was probably expected to give them a cash gift on top of that. Some of the older ladies in our group agreed. Some said they would not decline in advance because she is a bully and they didn’t want a confrontation.

Lenah called me the night before Pat’s re-wedding. Lenah was there to close the Saturday night bingo and Pat was awfully friendly, but that’s what she does whenever things are going her way. Lenah peeked into the garment bag and saw the exact same dress while Pat was caught up supervising the wedding decoration.

The thing with Karens is that they expect everyone to suck it up, or make their dreams come true, or they simply underestimate everyone and think we are all fools.

Lenah is a very straightforward person with a “so sue me” attitude. She told me she would just ruin the dress. After all, it was hers, so she could do whatever she wanted. If Pat wanted to take legal action, and should things get ugly, she needed to prove ownership. However, the dress was the same, the marks inside the hem and the tags were the same. Even the tag numbers that were punched to identify each dress for logistics purposes matched.

Pat had the dress altered, with some extra beading and dyed to a deep cream color. But it was obviously the same garment. Lenah and I snuck in before the venue was closed for the night. All brides are allowed to stay in a small bedroom for a small charge, so that they don’t need to drive in on their wedding day. Honestly, the makeshift chapel was gorgeous, I don’t know how she paid for it but it was full of flowers and presumptuous details. I naively brought in some ink to spill on the dress, but Lenah said she wanted “something more awful, like a nasty surprise”. Ink would be too obvious and if she saw it ahead, she may be able to snag another gown from somewhere. No, the ideal thing was to have her trust the dress was fine. So Lenah locked herself in a bathroom stall and completely cut out the back panel. She patiently put it back on its hanger and zipped the bag. We left through the emergency door with the back of the dress stuffed inside Lenah's purse. I completely hate people who target and steal from anyone they (Pat and her kid) calculate to be in a weaker position.

The wedding was scheduled at 9 AM. Pat called me at 7 AM, but I ignored her calls. I picked up by 8 AM, both curious and wondering if she suspected anything. Pat was frantic.She was crying that her dress was “missing by half”. I purposely made her explain, being annoyingly dense and continually interrupting like she does, and stalling the conversation. She asked me if I could lend her my wedding dress. I said no, sorry. She then asked me if I would help her get a dress. I was satisfied to remind her that the town's bridal shops were closed on Sunday and the others that would open were almost an hour away. The farm is already almost one hour away from our town.

If Pat could get a shop to rent a dress, she would need to try the dress on, and get it steamed. Even if the dress was ready to wear, it would easily take more than two hours (roundtrip). She tried to ask me to go pick a dress (who would pay for this??). Even if a shop were open and brought her a dress, it would add to the cost. Also, these shops open at 10 or 9:30 at earliest. By time they got to her, it would be time to wrap up the wedding because she needed to clear the venue by 12:00 for the next event.

She broke down and mumbled some stupid stuff I didn't understand. So Pat hung up on me and called Lenah instead.. She asked Lenah to bring her “anything she had available”. Lenah and I ended up delivering the most outdated, moss smelling, oversized dressed. Pat’s disappointment was a mix between angry and emotional. She also tried to wear her knee length silk bridal slip as a wedding dress but it was too obvious and it really looked cheap. She tried to get her daughter to give her her own dress to wear with an open back zipper (due to fitting issues) but Casey refused, asking if she was supposed to attend the wedding naked (she got a point, plus Casey is petite).

The dress needed a petticoat to plump up the skirt, which wasn’t available. So it dragged all over the floor and Pat had to keep pulling it up. Pat walked down the aisle with one hand on her bouquet and another one grabbing her dress. The dress looked limp and weird with the arrangements of pins (they didn’t show) that caused the sleeves and neckline to pucker into messy rims. She spent the ceremony looking uncomfortable and out of place. Very few people attended but that was not part of any revenge, that was just how people reacted to her entitled attitude.

The dress looked awful. The reception portion of the wedding had all this princely decoration, a very nice cake and a bridezilla with a dress from hell. I didn’t stay, but I was told, she was so disappointed she spent her wedding sulking. There was no dance, no actual speech. She had to change into a shirt and leggings because the dress was too uncomfortable. Everyone talked about how Pat put on her flip flops and walked around aimlessly until she ordered the ushers to start folding up the chairs within one hour of the reception. So she practically kicked everyone out and the cake was never cut.

Pat wasn’t the same after this.She was not as loud and avoided everyone. I think she was disappointed that nobody ran to her rescue, not even her family who came from out of town.

Her husband finally cracked under all the pressure and sought some help. He was slaving away and coming home to clean the house while Pat used her kids as an excuse to spend like crazy. Hank also had to do kid homework because Pat never had time or never had patience. She also refused to get a partime job so her kids could attend an afterschool and get help with their school stuff. Therapy seemed to help Hank because the last time Pat left with her kids, he didn't seem distraught. He would be riding his bicycle and could be seen more relaxed while mowing his lawn. Hank told my husband that he had contemplated suicide after their third kid. When Pat returned, he maintained the routine but was interested in going out by himself and doing things for himself. We began to see Pat alone all the time. Hank was seen less and less in the same car and eventually moved in with his parents. He filed for divorce on the grounds of emotional cruelty and I don't think he won. Instead (I’m not sure of this because this is what I was told) there was some sort of a settlement or agreement that she would not get close or interact with him unless it has to do with the kids).

I also don’t know if Pat even actually suspected who/what happened to her dress. She slowly pulled away from the community center and became less active in social gatherings. Pat also removed me from her facebook as well as mostly everyone else from school and the center.

TLDR

Bridezilla stole a wedding dress from an underprivileged woman. The actual dress owner destroys her big day.

(source) story by (/u/forestcabin123k)

[bartholomewmacmillan]

You'll need a boutonniere. Actress Kathryn Harrold is 66.

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[limenysnocket]

I Despise The Way You Make Me Love You pt. 2

(Taika Waititi X Reader)

Summary: Today, Taika gets the day off of work. He gets to lounge about his house, wear sweatpants and watch whatever t.v. he likes without having someone to tell him otherwise. His plans are soiled and revamped as an unexpected visitor pays him a visit.

Warnings: Horny Taika vibes, it gets very lime-ish in here, some foul language too.

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

Author's note: I really don't know what to put here except I'm excited and enjoy the story lol.

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Boring. Boring. Boring. That's all today is going to be, huh, Taika?

Without (Y/N) here to pester or other directors to bother and ask for their plates of cheese from-- even though he has his own God damn plate of cheese in his tent/office-- he just can't seem to find the joy in the matter of a "day off." I mean, what's the point of it? Why couldn't he just stay at work with his very special girlfriend, where he could "take naps" with her in a broom closet or his office any time he pleased! It was all bologna, if you asked him. Total absurdness.

He couldn't sleep, no, even if he had all the time in the world to take naps like the nap God he is. He could be doing anything else, walking around, talking on the phone, or catching up on his favorite television show, but nooOoo. You invaded his vision, either dressed in skimpy outfits... or not dressed at all. Just as he would reach out to touch you, your skin would dissipate into the air like mist and he would find himself back awake again, hot, sweaty and horrifyingly turned on.

Would it be alright to text you? He knows you're at work, but he can always invite you over for a little late night cuddling and a bottle of wine. He just stared at his phone, his nose twitching every once in awhile, watching, waiting and contemplating. Would he text you or would you text him? The suspense was killing him!

He pushed himself up, grunting and shaking his head. "God damn it," he muttered. He had reasoned with himself. You were at work and you had every right reserved to be left alone. He didn't know, at the time, that you were dying to see him again.

He sat down at a table, in the mini courtyard of his home, with a laptop, just as the sun turned the sky orange. It was right about time he got back to work on Thor: Love and Thunder, because he was clearly days behind... maybe a few months, actually. Inspiration was hard work, especially whenever he has to find the right timing to put a shirtless Chris Hemsworth somewhere in the film.

He rapped his fingers against the metal table and rubbed his temple with the other hand, a fresh sheet of virtual paper already giving him a headache. He closed his eyes again, which was totally a bad move, but he didn't care in the slightest. There you were again, that little vixen that made his more perverted side crawl out from beneath his usually goofy demeanour. (Y/N), dressed in nothing but one of his sweaters, and he was almost completely positive that there was nothing beneath that. You stepped closer to him, placing your warm palms on his shoulders and squeezing them, massaging them. He felt your bum rest in his lap, the skin brushing against his loose sweatpants and sending sweet shudders down his spine.

The sensation of your warm hands cascading across his stubble beard drove him crazy and his own hands started to travel, reaching out and seemingly running his hands along your curves, down your thighs and back up again. He started to slip up the sweater, exposing more of your skin to his hungry eyes and he came close to seeing what he wanted to see, until he felt warm palms over his eyelids and his fantasy was pressed flat. He didn't jolt, because he recognized the warmness and the softness of those palms.

"Guess who?" He heard you say, giggling all the while. He scrunched up his face to make it seem as if he were thinking extremely hard.

"Jemaine?" He answered, after a few long moments of total silence, not including the scream of cicadas from bushes and trees. He heard you burst into laughter and those warm palms lifted from his eyes. He titled his head back and smiled to see your flustered and smiling face.

"Man, I must suck at this," he chortled and teased. You only nodded, laughing still, before leaning over him and placing a kiss on his lips. "Ah, this is the perks of you having your own key to the house. You can surprise me whenever you'd like, but I'm still waiting for the one where I come home and you're sitting naked on my couch for me," he winked and shimmyed his shoulders, which earned him a playful slap on the arm.

"You're a dork," you giggled then stood up, "I'm just here to cook dinner for you and make sure you're not driving yourself insane."

"But I'm already insane," Taika twirled around in his chair and made a mass amount of kissy faces at you, "Insane for you, baby~." Before he could even flash you with another smug face and pick up line, you had gone inside of the house, leaving him high and dry.

What you were making him wasn't the most expensive meal in the world, but it certainly was delicious. Steak, keto friendly fettuccine Alfredo with sliced zucchini noodles. It was a healthier option but certainly very delicious, plus, you knew Taika could be very picky about his eating habits, but not, all at the very same time.

You slipped into his "kiss the chef" cooking apron and started to get to work, taking out groceries from bags that you brought over and cooking appliances that you knew he didn't have or never heard of. You were so focused on what you were doing, you didn't hear the courtyard door slide open, then shut. Nor did you notice that Taika was watching you cook with a very lust hazed look, from behind his island.

Taika would be drooling at the moment if he hadn't known that he actually was amidst your presence. There he was, fantasizing about you again. He was imagining that all you had on was the apron you were wearing, and the best part of all, he got a great view of your cute ass as it swayed in rhythm while you cooked. Every time you would bend over to grab out a pot or pan, conveniently not turning his way, he would stretch out his neck as far as he could and try to peep on whatever he could without throwing himself down on the counter and startling you.

Suddenly, even surprising him, you turned around and whispered to him, "Kiss the cook, Taika." You gave him the most fucking smug smile he had ever seen, he almost didn't think this all was real.

It wasn't. It was his imagination. What you actually said was, "Are you alright, Taika?" He seemed to be straining against the counter, nails digging deep into the granite top. Once the fantasy had lifted from his eyes, he shook his head and almost seemed to wheeze. "Huh?" He said, his eyes fluttering and he swallowed thickly.

"I asked if you were alright," you responded quietly, almost knowing exactly what he was thinking about. It had been awhile since Taika hadn't been allowed to get you alone for enough time to rock your world. It was one of those things where he knew he had it, but he couldn't touch it and it was killing him inside.

He coughed into his fist and shifted the weight on his feet, "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." You could see the visible shudder shoot down his body as he tried to compose himself once more. It was adorable to see him get all hot and bothered over just the sight of you cooking, but you couldn't just get up on the counter and let him take you while you let your food burn into a crisp. He would have to wait until after dinner.

"Okay, so, I'm gonna turn around, and you're... not gonna be horny? Correct?" You cocked a brow at him, raising your hand up like it would convince him more. He only gave you a wry smile which is how you obviously knew that he was about to lie straight up to you.

"Sure," he shrugged. Yeah. He was about to pull a bastard move the moment you turned around, whether it be lifting up your skirt and being a peeping tom, smacking your ass expectedly unexpected, or grinding down on you until you finished or out down what you were doing and giving him a nice, dirty fuck. He's done all three, on set and at work, not to mention.

You gave him a terse look, then turned back around slowly, your mind boggling around while you scraped tiny cutlets of steak into the skillet where they started to sizzle loudly. Loud enough, apparently, to cover up the footsteps of a certain ornery, sex-bitten kiwi.

You quietly started flipping the pieces over so each one of their sides could get a bit of attention. One, however, when you noticed it, wasn't soaking in the brown color you needed, so you wanted to flip it again. You didn't know if it was your nerves that were from Taika's obvious white lie that had you ready to jump and touch the ceiling or what, but you just couldn't flip this cutlet. It was stubborn. You tried it every which way and all it did was slide across the buttered pan and push up against the sides.

Wait! Suddenly, you had a snag on it, the tip of it just scooching onto your spatula, and you let out praises of glory in your mind as it toppled over and landed flat and perfect on the spatula. You had just saved the perfect steak cutlet from burning. You were proud of yourself, and all those nerves had disappeared. Well, all up until all of them came rushing back to you at once when Taika shoved his hand down your panties and started squeezing your ass through your skirt.

You yelped and flinched, which made you fling your spatula backwards and that sent the perfect steak cutlet flying, landing with a nice, firm slap on the island countertop. Your mind almost didn't register the rubbing of Taika's hand over your folds, trying real hard to get you wet for him. You weren't having it. "Taika, you have no idea how fucking pissed off I am right now," you growled, your voice dripping with raw irritation and anger. "I lost a perfect bite of heaven, because of you."

"Mm, I know, and I'm sorry, but you know how I am sometimes," Taika continued to rub, seemingly dipping his fingers between the slit to check the water levels. It's still running pretty dry. He started rubbing faster, but that wasn't enough. He barely grazed his finger over your clit, when you grabbed his hand and yanked it out from his panties. You whirled around and threatened him with the steaming hot spatula. All he had left on him now was a smug grin and playful eyes that stared into your cold and displeased eyes. "What's up, babe? You seem tense."

"Taika, how long has it been since we last fucked," you said sternly, your other hand reaching back and taking the heat off of the steak.

"A week," he replied, proud of himself, yet still smug and still quite needy to put himself in your pants.

"Wrong," you corrected him with a flat gaze, "It's been five days, Taika."

"That's technically a work week, for me," he shrugged, biting his lip a little while he tried his best to keep his hips from bucking desperately, "And now we're on the weekend, darling, pleaassee, you won't even have to bite down on a washrag this time to keep from screaming! I mean, unless you're into that. It was kinda hot--." He was stopped by the familiar press of lips against his. He fluttered his eyes closed and let his hands fall and grab your hips, bringing them to press firmly against his. The crotch area, specifically.

You were the one who initiated the kiss and you were also the one to break it. You took both sides of his head in your hands and you shook it around a little. "Dumbass," you started, giving his head a little shake while he gave you a cheeky grin, "let me cook! Then, MAYBE, we can fuck, alright?"

"You're the boss, darling," he said, his hips doing a little happy wiggle, then he scooted away, back to behind the island, elbows resting on the surface while his hands kept his head up. You knew he was watching you intently, getting a little impatient sometimes and lightly rubbing his hips against the counter with need. Because he did this, and you saw him doing it, which confirmed your kill, you decided to take your sweet time with this meal, make it painfully slow and put an amazing amount of effort into a healthier version of Alfredo sauce.

This game didn't last long though. Taika was smarter than he let on, an intellectual of solid mind, though one wouldn't couldn't possibly see it if you had only one conversation with him. He started eye fucking you with every chance he got, giving you his sexiest, dirtiest look that he could muster, while rubbing his hard-on against the counter and whispering your name between gritted teeth. "You're making this so much harder than it has to be," Taika said through muttered, lust filled curses.

"What? Your dick or the tension in the room?" You said, turning you head so you could look at him from over your shoulder. He grimaced. He was on the verge of going up to his room and finishing things off himself.

"You can't just do this to me, (Y/N)," he groaned, leaning on the counter and whining like an injured puppy.

"Uh- ha! You did this to yourself! Even when you knew how hard it is for you to recover from something like that," you grinned, starting to plate the food and get it all nice and neat. "Plus, a bonus for me, this is practically like revenge for all the times you thought it would be okay to get me all riled up all the times I would casually be talking to another guy."

"Ah, they were flirting with you, I had to do it before they took you away from me," he grinned at you, now biting his lip so intensely, he left teeth marks on his lower lip.

"Taika, no one's going to take me away from you without a fight, you know that," you rolled your eyes and smiled at him, finishing with the pretty plating and bringing it over to Taika, where he was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Okay, food's done, now can we fuck?" Taika whined desperately. You could see the hefty bulge through his pants and it made you swallow thickly, but you stood by your own opinion and decided he could take a little more torture.

"No, we have to eat first," you said which drew a long, high pitched, goofy whine from the depths of his throat. Taika looked down at his plate, grumbling, then picked up his fork and started to shovel food into his mouth at a fast pace, eager to finish. He forgets that you have to finish your food too, and you weren't even starting at the same time as him, because you buried yourself with pouring the expensive wine that you knew he liked.

Whenever you finally were seated across from him, half of his plate was already gone and he was swallowing a hefty mouthful at the time. "Taika, you're going to choke if you keep eating like that," you laughed and shook your head, tangling the zucchini noodles around your fork.

"It's worf ut," he said with his mouth full and started to chew violently. You took your time with your plate, spindling the noodles around until it was a decent bite then stabbing a cut of steak and running it throughout the sauce. You only made this meal on special occasions, really, so you took time to cherish the flavor of it. Taika wasn't having it. He finished his food way before you did and chugged his wine like the madman he was. When he finished that, he slammed his glass down like he just finished a shot. He was a mess.

You shook your head, "I still have to finish, you know." Your plate was just about half way done. Surprisingly, he allowed you to finish your food in peace, well, enough peace at least. Every time you looked up, you were met with big, brown puppy dog eyes and a pouty lip. He watched you eat your food, begrudgingly, flicking the little piece of half cooked steak that landed on the counter awhile ago.

The longer you took to finish your food, the more the longing inside of you grew. You thought this was going to be just a night for snuggling and cute little romantic stuff that they never got to do at work. It was supposed to be a time to get to know each other better, besides already knowing what his favorite brand of wine was. It was a night meant for togetherness, and the want for that must have shown on your face, because, when it did, Taika's puppy-like expression seemed to lessen.

Finally, you finished off the last of your zucchini noodles, took both your and Taika's dishes to the sink, dumping what was left of your wine down the drain, and you started to rinse them. No one likes scrubbing off crusty food.

"Hey," you heard a specific New Zealander whisper gently from behind you. "You're tense again."

You set one of the wine glasses down in the sink, and it hit the metal with a soft clunk. That was the only noise between you two for a long while, except for the rush of the running water spinning down the drain. You took a deep breath and turned the water off, slowly, then dried your hands. Once you were done, you slowly turned towards him, "Is... Is sex all you're really wanting out of me? If it's true, then I really don't want that and I'm sure there's some clean hooker out their who is dying to get their hands on you and maybe would be willing to work for as long as you want." You started making hand motions as you spoke. They were awkward motions, but they were necessary.

"What? Why would I-- (Y/N), I don't understand, why would I try every day to get you alone, like during our first time. The only reason I needed you alone is because I wanted to confess and kiss you, I wanted to protect our privacy, because no one truly wants to be the newest hot couple cover of People Magazine. When we... When we fucked, it just so happened by chance. We were both in the mood and we got what was needed. I actually didn't expect this streak to go on for so on like this... but," he paused, coming around the island and grasping one of your hands with his, "every time I saw you at work after that, I thought back to our first kiss, then the first kiss leading up to the first time and... well, you're a smart girl, so I'll let you figure out the rest."

This managed to put a dismal smile on your face, you were still a bit upset. "But, why can't we ever have these days where we get to know each other, just cuddle and talk about things and learn things about each other that aren't liquor related!" It was more of a statement than a question. The two of you only had one night together like that. You cuddled up with him under a blanket and watched his and your favorite movies, occasionally talking, up until you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

Taika pulled you closer, gently, "Why didn't you say something, then, babe? You know I'm always open to stuff like that. Hell, I love that stuff." He brought the hand he was holding up to his mouth and he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it, sending warmth shooting straight to your cheeks.

"I was too embarrassed to admit it," you whispered to him, looking down at the floor until he used his free hand to tilt your head up and your eyes met with his. Eventually, your lips met his as well. It was brief, but soft and love filled. He didn't hesitate to pull you into a hug afterwards as well. The only problem was, his hard-on still existed.

"You know, I would love to settle down and watch a movie and all with you to talk about all your favorite things, but my boner is still here too," He joked, softly pulling away from the hug and looking down at you, cheeks alive with color.

"You want me to take care of that for you, don't you?" You ask with a stiffled laugh and look up at him to see that he's blushing, embarrassed now, and nodding his head yes. "Alright, fine, but once we're done, we're staying in your room for the rest of the night, watching Flash Gordon and you're going to give me ten reasons why Soul Rebel is your favorite Bob Marley album."

He grinned brightly at you now, "Deal."

[thethoughtsfromthreeam]

Lady of the Lake

Pairing: Ginger Ale/Elizabeth x Merlin/Hamish

Warnings: None

A/N:  I’m back and this time continuing the world I started with some Ginger Ale/Merlin.  This series starts a year before the modern-day events of California and will run concurrent with that timeline by Part 6.  However, you can read this one just fine without having read California, although you should because apparently people around here liked it?  Anyway, enjoy!

Reminder: I haven’t seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle, so I’m just using the Wikia, IMDB.com, some gifs, and my own weird ass brain to make up this whole ass story.

Tag List:  @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @tarrevizslas , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest , @mandoandyodito​ , @randomness501 , @fioccodineveautunnale [please message me to be added or subtracted if you were just here for some Jack Daniels goodness!  I don’t want people being tagged in something they don’t want]

[PART 1] [PART 2]  [PART 3]

Part 1

 M'eudail

A Year Ago

Ginger Ale sat back in her chair while closing her eyes and rolling her neck, making a weak attempt to work out the kinks that were ruining her concentration.  She glanced at the date on the calendar and realized it was her seventh working day in a row, and the long hours were taking their toll.  For the last year, Ginger and her staff had been working to support the ever-growing caseload of the Statesman while lending their knowledge and labs to rebuild Kingsman after their destruction.

Few of the recruits coming through training wanted to work in tech, so the workload fell on her small staff and as many admins as she could beg, borrow, and steal.  Sometimes Ginger found herself conscripting Shirley Temple’s small research team and sometimes even Shirley herself to help track active agents and even build or repair weapons.

Champagne agreed the load was getting to be too much, but the focus on recruitment had been new agents for Kingsman and so here she was on her seventh workday and she could feel it.  Shirley keep talking about taking some time off, just the two of them.  Shirley hadn’t really left HQ in the last four years, so it was a big deal for her to making some noise about going on vacation.  Maybe she’s not wrong, thought Ginger.

Nothing on her plate was changing and Chai, her second-in-command, could handle the workload with no problem.  And Champ would gladly let them have their time off; he claimed to never play favorites, but if you just so happened to ask him, he might just so happen to tell you that Ginger and Shirley were right up there in staff he trusted implicitly.  He recruited both women and along with two agents, Whiskey and Tequila, they had made a formidable team for nearly a decade.

But, the support program with Kingsman meant they needed everyone available and until they were at a reasonable capacity, Statesman needed Ginger to stay put.  It was only fair given that Merlin, her Kingsman counterpart, was working just as much as her with virtually no staff at all.  No, no vacation for you, Miss Ginger, she chastised herself.  She had responsibilities to Statesman and to Merlin.

As she sat there lost in thought, Shirley walked up behind her and placed her hands on Ginger’s shoulders.  She could feel the stress like a rock under her fingertips and she frowned at the sensation. Her best friend was working entirely too hard.  She rubbed a little, trying to make it better.

“Ging, why are you still here? You need to take some time away from this computer, your neck and shoulders feel like a solid block of concrete.  Let’s do a girl’s night tonight, you need it.” Ginger tensed up again, but this time with guilt.

“That sounds amazing, Shirl.  But I got to finish these blueprints and get them off to Merlin so he can build the prototype.  I promised him I get them to him in the next few hours.”  Shirley rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath when Ginger stopped speaking.

“Like hell you can’t.”  She leaned over and punched a few buttons on the computer screen and before Ginger could react, Merlin’s face appeared in the video call.  She noted he looked just as worn and tired as she felt and wondered if she looked that way to him.  Without so much as a hello, Shirley started to talk.

“Merlin, will you please tell Ginger that she can have a girls’ night tonight and that the blueprints for whatever do-hickey you’re working on can wait a day or so?  Besides, you look absolutely terrible and I’m going to say that you need to go home and get some sleep, too.”

“Ever the charmer, Shirley.” Merlin’s laugh was weak, and he hung his head. “You’re right, we’re pushing ourselves too hard, it’s not the end of the world anymore.  We both need to relax for a night, m’eudail.  Go have fun with Shirley and I’ll go home and sleep.”

Shirley and Merlin continued to chat a few more minutes, but Ginger didn’t hear anything.  Instead, she blushed and lowered her eyes.  M’eudail he called her, my dear.  He has never called her that in front of someone before and she hoped that Shirley didn’t catch on.  Not that she was embarrassed for Shirley to know about her and Merlin, but Ginger just wanted something that was hers and hers alone.  

---***---

The touch of his hand on her lower back sent sparks across her skin and she drew in a small breath.  She wasn’t sure why she was reacting to him this way.  They were colleagues, two sides of the same coin.  But his eyes were kind and he had a big heart.  And then there was his smile and that brogue and . . .

“Ginger, this way.”  He nodded at her, his hazel eyes sparkling at her from behind his glasses.  She nodded and walked down the hallway to the door, his hand never leaving her back.  And for each step that his hand remained, another spark was added until it felt like her spine was shivering.  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.  He didn’t seem effected at all.

But exterior appearances, especially from a trained agent, are deceiving and internally Merlin was clawing at some sort of stoicism to hide the desire he had for his American counterpart.  When they first chatted face to face some months ago in Louisville, he found himself staring at her mouth, wondering if it was as a soft as it looked and what it looked like when she sighed in pleasure.  He forced himself to pay attention to her words, but it was hard and so was he.

And now?  Here she was in his domain, walking the halls he always walked, about to sit in the chairs he sat in.  How could he keep up this facade when all he wanted to do was push her against the wall they just passed and let his hands feel her skin beneath his fingertips.  Hamish, you idiot, stop this thinking, he told himself.

Now if only he would listen.

---***---

Shirley ended the call with a cheery good-bye and spun Ginger around her chair.  They looked at each other and Ginger realized that for once it wasn’t her giving the Stare of Care, as they called it.  It was a hard look that came from a source of love.  Instead, it was her friend, who loved her as a sister, throwing the Stare at her.  A curt nod followed, and Shirley turned her head towards the only other specialist in the lab at the moment.

“Kefir, Ginger is leaving for the rest of the day and if she sneaks back in here, I want you to call me so I can come get her.”  He smiled and nodded at the two women.  “And you let Chai know when she comes on duty in an hour.  This woman is gonna get some damn sleep for once.”

The latter part of her comment came out as a mutter and at that Ginger began to laugh.  There was a point in time when it had been Ginger in that motherly place, working to support her friend through a tough time.  I guess the tables are turned now, she thought.  But she would be lying to herself if she wasn’t touched that she had people like Shirley that loved and cared for her so much.

But Shirley was right, and Ginger wasn’t going to feel guilty about relaxing a bit, even if it was only a Tuesday.  Even Merlin told her to go home.  She bounced up from her desk and moved to shut her station down for the night. It’ll all be here tomorrow when she came in – there isn’t an imposing deadline and Kingsman wasn’t going to be rebuilt overnight.

Shirley looped her arm through Ginger’s and they ambled down the hallway to the bank of elevators.  Both women live in on-site apartments, which made the commute to work all the easier. As they entered the elevator, Shirley spoke up.

“My place?”

“Whiskey’s not home?”

“Naw, he’s out somewhere in New Mexico on an assignment with Brandy.”

“How’s that going?  It’s been a while since Brandy was in the field.  I’m surprised Champ sent her along on the case.”

“She needed the break, if she spent another month training the new recruits, I’m sure she would have snapped.  You know she installed a punching bag in her office, right?”

“No!  Is it that bad?”

“Probably not, but you know Brandy, she’s overly dramatic when she’s stressed.”

The two women continued gossiping about their co-workers and friends before the elevator dropped them off on the eighth floor.  Shirley took her keys out and unlocked her apartment door, pulling Ginger in behind her, as if she didn’t trust the woman to just run back to the office. But Ginger had no plans to leave.

The homey feeling of Jack and Shirley’s apartment immediately enveloped Ginger and it seemed she dropped thirty pounds of stress just walking through the door.  Shirl pushed Ginger towards the soft leather couch while she went and dug around for some drinks and food, knowing full well that Ginger probably hadn’t eaten in hours.

In no time, Shirley had whipped up a meal worthy of girl’s night while Ginger cued up their favorite films to watch.  She hemmed and hawed between Practical Magic and The American President for a bit before choosing the former.  She felt in this moment she needed a little magical fluff in her life and, with Merlin in her thoughts, a little magical love, too.

When Shirley came into the living room, everything was ready, and the two friends snuggled deep under the blankets and just vegged out.  Through out the night, they oscillated between chatter and quiet before they both fell asleep to the sounds of Robin Tunney kicking Fairuza Balk’s ass.

In the wee hours of the morning, Jack came home and after hanging up his hat, he saw the two women lightly snoring on the couch.  He smiled at the picture before walking over.  He dropped a kiss on each head before heading to the bedroom to change and slip into bed himself.   Just another night in the Daniels homestead.

[skookworks]

Gallery – Half Hour Sketches 31 to 60

From last year, the second set of thirty daily/half hour sketches. Do you have any favorites?

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Story Seed #45 A Bad Seed Blooms

Karren was always a difficult child. Demanding, clingy, prone to throwing tantrums when she didn’t get her way. Dealing with her on a daily basis was enough to convince her parents that they didn’t want to have another child. Yes she was often charming. Yes she was usually very entertaining and she could seem very loving but, damn, she was awfully narcissistic.

When Karren was eight, her mother became pregnant (their contraception method failed) and her parents decided that they’d keep the baby. Karren would adapt, she’d have to. Right? And for a while it seemed like Karren would. She was delighted by the idea of having a sibling. She had fun playing nursemaid and helper to her mother and she revelled in the appreciation that her parents showed her for her new attitude.

The baby came, a little sister. Karren played doting big sister, giving cuddles, helping with bottles and rocking her to sleep. But, her parents had less attention for her and got crankier form lack of sleep, the old Karren resurfaced. She was jealous of the baby, angry that it just wouldn’t behave. Her play became meaner and rougher. One morning her mother caught her holding a pillow over the baby’s face. She wasn’t trying to kill the baby, she was just trying to make it stop crying, she didn’t know what she was doing, did she?

Her parents made arrangements to send Karren to a boarding school. Until she could depart her parents never left her alone with the baby and they locked her room at night.

Two days before Karren was to depart her mother took her and the baby to run errands. Karren had been behaving. She seemed contrite. Maybe safe? As they returned to the house their car was blocked in by a pair of black SUVs and armed men pulled them from the vehicle.

Karren’s parents were comfortably upper middle class. Karren’s grandfather, her father’s father, was rich and had made a lot of enemies getting that way. The kidnappers were in the employ of a Russian gangster that Grandfather had doublecrossed.

Karren, her mother and her little sister are taken to a remote location. Karen’s mother is forced to record a ransom plea. Karren pouts, Karren yells, Karren is not a cooperative hostage. The kidnappers beat her, tie her up, cut off one of her little fingers and send it with the ransom demand.

Karren’s father is in shock and desperate. Grandfather is disappointed. His son was always a weak thing. Grandfather harrumphs and takes charge. He has his security chief put together a team to rescue the kidnapped mother and her girls. But Grandfather didn’t get rich by giving a shit about anyone but himself. The team is to rescue the family if it’s convenient but it’s more important to him that they kill as many of the Russians as they can. The “girls” are expendable.

And Karren? Karren is very, very mad. Her parents could be boring. Her parents could be strict. Her parents often spoiled her fun. But they’d never hit her. They’d never hurt her. And now these smelly men have dared to hurt HER and threaten HER mother and HER little sister?

Karren is clever. Karren will get out of her bounds. Karren will make them all very, very sorry.

Recommendation

I am behind on my newsletters. I have a virtual stack of them waiting to be read and, at the moment, I can’t remember which ones I’ve already recommended. So this week I’m recommending a youtube channel: Cartoonist Kayfabe. Jim Rugg and Ed Piskor are veteran comics creators and they regular post a lot of videos about comics. I’ll let them introduce themselves –

Local News

I don’t have heroes. When I was a kid I kept discovering that the folks my history classes promoted as role models were often pretty horrible people. Even the ones the weren’t horrible were usually … human. That is, they weren’t necessarily nice, they weren’t always faithful and they often did things that were sloppy and stupid. As a kid, I was looking for perfect heroes to model myself after and real humans just kept failing provide me with the examples I wanted.

As I grew up I came to admire the people who stood up, who took action to make the world a better place, regardless of whether they were also shitty spouses, terrible parents or lousy friend. Rather, I’ve learned to admire the noble actions they took and accept that the rest of their lives and behaviors were probably pretty messy.

I’ve been following and reading Warren Ellis‘s work since I encountered his columns at 9th Art back in the 90s. I posted some art in the Remake/Remodel challenges in the FreakAngels forums. I found a lot of interesting newsletters (and was inspired to do this one) because he recommended them.  I don’t get many regular comics these days but I did pay attention to what he had coming out next. I mostly heard about that when I read his latest newsletter. I only heard about the controversy when he posted his last one. This essay gives the pertinent details with links to more info.

Of all the bad actors who have come in to light in the last few years, Ellis is the first one whose work really matters to me. After a few days passage I’m still … I don’t know. I believe the women. You don’t get 30 or more artists to agree on something unless there is truth there. And they’ve got the emails. (And being a whistleblower is never about money unless you’re already rich and famous. Being a poor whistleblower means you, at best, become a famous and poor whistleblower. Anyone who thinks that someone calls out injustice for fame and glory and wealth is someone who doesn’t actually care about injustice.)

I admire his work. I’m sorry he’s behaved poorly and kind of relieved that he didn’t behave worse. I sympathize more with the women who had to put up with his shit than with him for what’s happening now. What struck me, in his statement, was this –

“I have never considered myself famous or powerful, to the point where I’ve made a lot of bad jokes about it for twenty-odd years.”

  It’s a reminder to me that our perceptions of ourselves are often off the mark. You might think that someone in Ellis’ position, who has had the accomplishments and influence that he’s had, would have a better perception of his place in the world. But most of us don’t. Most of us hear our internal dialogues, our fears and our doubts, much louder than the feedback we get from the outside. We rarely perceive ourselves accurately. 

It’s a reminder that I/we have much more power in the world than I/we think I/we do. It’s a reminder to be more aware, to think before speaking and acting. It’s a reminder to talk more about perceptions and expectations even when doing that seems like it’s going to kill the flow of an interaction. I may think things are hunky dory but the person I’m with might just be being polite. 

I don’t think I’m currently in a position of power. In previous jobs I have been a supervisor and an assistant manager and a manager. As I moved up in responsibility I became conscious of having a responsibility to model “professional” behavior. Getting wasted and flirting with one’s coworkers isn’t a good look for the boss. Now I’m just one mail carrier in a station of about a hundred other carriers. I go to work. I don’t really socialize. I just want to put the hours in so I can get paid and go home and draw. Do I have power? Of course I do. I’m an older white guy who, to the new hires at least, probably seems like I’ve been around forever. Postal carriers have a union. Carriers advance by seniority. There’s a culture of not ratting on your fellow carrier when they misbehave. So I maybe could fuck with the new hires and get away with it. I’m pretty sure that veteran carriers already do that.

I have gotten tired. I have withdrawn. But I’m not dead. It’s time to pay a little more attention at work and in the world. I am not a hero. But I do have power and I can take a few noble actions now and then.

Tuesday Night Party Club #25 Gallery - Half Hour Sketches 31 to 60 From last year, the second set of thirty daily/half hour sketches.

[lenfaz]

Sea Squad, ch. 6 (6/14)

Summary: Killian Jones has always managed tough spots in his con life… but never like this one. His brother is out of jail and convinced the only way to win his name back is to heist the casino of a major Vegas mogul, leaving Killian to do the planning. He now has to deal with a half-brother desperate to gain a name of his own, an ex-fling that carries her own torch against the casino mogul, his brother losing his mind over his ex-wife,  his former mentor’s depression and the one woman he can’t get out of his mind giving him chase. Ocean’s Eleven AU

Rating: M

Content warnings: semi-explicit sexual content, law-breaking (they are thieves, liars and con men), mild violence (someone will get punched), mention of former relationships (for the main pair) and cheating (but not for the main pair)

Banner (link to banner post) and art by the amazing @clockadile Go check her art tag for the fic here!

This fic would never exist without the wonderful @sambethe who convinced me to do over hot chocolate on one cold Chicago afternoon and virtually held my hand and betaed this fic for months. thank you SO much for everything you do.

A/N: A long time ago there was talk about Hook & his sea friends and a few collective posts shaped the idea of a Sea Squad. This fic is the attempt to bring that creativity to life. Tagging @queen-mabs-revenge   @thesschesthair   and @jvosketches as they were part of that initial thinking back in the day. If a few things sound familiar, it’s because they are based on the movie.

Link to  FFnet & AO3

on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 

Chapter 6

The hours turned long and they’d hit the somewhat duller stages of planning. The initial excitement for the heist had given way to long hours of detailing, building the vault replica, and going over the execution. It required a level of focus and concentration that brought out frayed nerves in everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Nemo had always been good at keeping his composure, and Poseidon had a knack for coming in and out of the character he was playing without wearing himself out. But the rest of them were starting to show signs of distress.

Ariel and Eric bantered constantly, but their rapport had taken on a sniping quality, even about the most petty items, right down to their Netflix queue. The uptick in Smee’s fidgeting with his cap, as well as his obsessive need to re-review the footage of the casinos and note every single detail, was leaving an ache in Killian’s jaw from all the clenching.

LJ, meanwhile, was giving Killian and Liam the silent treatment, as he kept his headphones glued to his ears and his nose buried in a seemingly endless stream of books.

Milah had taken to disappearing for hours at a time, keeping whatever - or whomever - she was doing under wraps. All of which suited Killian just fine, as the last thing they needed was to alert Gold that she was in town. Besides he knew Milah and trusted her. He knew she could be stealthy when she wanted, so he kept his mouth shut.

Ursula spent most of her time shadowing her co-workers at the casino, and only dropping by to feed them new information and get orders from Liam. The two of them would retreat into a corner, all bent heads and whispered words. They didn’t fool Killian at all. He knew Ursula was updating Liam on all of Belle’s movement and a part of him wanted to call his brother on wasting effort by splitting their focus. But Liam had promised, as did he, so he knew he owed his brother this chance.

As for Henry, Killian knew he still felt like an outsider. Luckily, the kid had thick skin and when he was done bonding with LJ over music and comics, he’d retreat to his own corner, plugging in his headphones and writing in his journal. His quiet edge was one Killian easily recognized as the product of spending too much time on his own in foster and group homes, and he couldn’t help but feel drawn to the kid because of it.  When he was not shadowing LJ, Killian had been working with Henry, going over what he needed to do and rehearsing and timing his performance. The lad was good - more than good - and Killian couldn’t help the pride he felt as time and again Henry delivered on what he was asked to do.

Which was why when he found out that Henry wasn’t an expert on poker - or any card game - Killian took the kid under his wing and vowed to teach him everything he knew. Unlike his celebrity students, Henry was sharp as a knife, picking up on what the game was about and executing bluffs with such mastery that it brought tears to Killian’s eyes. He was getting fairly good at blackjack too. He couldn’t count cards with Liam’s speed, but he was good at making quick decisions in the heat of the game and landing on his feet.

After the first couple of nights, LJ asked to join the game, and Killian got a glimpse at another side of his little brother. When he was at ease - and he seemed most at ease with Smee and Henry - he could be quite charming. His permanent scowl gave way to an easy smile and a dry wit, his hands moving fast as he dealt cards, his eyes not giving away a single thing as he called bets. He proved to be as good as Killian at bluffing, and even better than Liam at reading a table. It was enough to make Killian weep, again, which resulted in LJ throwing his cards at him, calling him a softie.

Clearing his throat, Killian looked at the three of them. “We need a night out.”

“To do what?” Henry asked

“Get some drinks, play some cards, bet some money,” he replied with a wave of his hand.

“So basically the same thing we’re doing right here,” LJ retorted, clearly not impressed with him. Killian, though, knew by now it was a tactic his brother played. If you don’t get your hopes too high, the fall doesn’t hurt that much.

“Not exactly the same… we’re lacking a certain ambiance here.”

Henry gave them a wry grin. “I’m underage… I won’t be allowed anywhere.”

“There is so much you need to learn about this town, lads.” Killian turned around to his most loyal companion. “What do you say, Smee? Should we show these two what the City of Sin has to offer?”

/-/

He had to give it to both of them, Henry and LJ cleaned up well for their night out. Black slacks, button down shirts, nice shoes, the whole nine yards. Which was slightly funny considering that they ended up in one of the seediest joints Vegas had to offer. But the drinks were good, the tables were humming with activity, and no one even thought to card them with Killian by their side. They joined a poker game in one of the private rooms for a few hours before they took onto the blackjack tables. Henry held his own in both while also holding down his liquor. LJ, true to form, simply took everything by storm, including charming the brunette dealer who kept leaning closer to him with each new hand she dealt. When she announced the end of her shift and threw a coy glance at LJ, Killian knew the night was coming to an end.  At least for some of them.

Smee and Henry moved to cash in their winnings, while he and LJ finished their drinks.

“You know you’ve had a tail for the past few hours, don’t you?” LJ said as he placed his glass on the table.

“Aye, I’m aware.” Killian’s fingers moved along the rim of the glass, resisting the urge to look behind him. “She’s been shadowing us all night.”

“You shadow her, she shadows you… is this some kind of kinky foreplay I want to know nothing about?”

Killian laughed. “I wish.” He ran a hand through his hair, forcing himself to focus on the matter at hand. “Will this be a problem for you?”

LJ shrugged. “Nah, I don’t think so. She might be good with faces, but I’m good at being a no one. It’s going to come in handy this time. But I should take off before she makes it any closer. Perhaps seek refuge in a different bed for the time being.” His eyes glinted with mischief.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that’s a sacrifice you’re willing to bear, and I’m sure that lovely croupier would be more than happy to assist you.”

“I’ll get Henry and Smee to leave without coming back here, just in case. I figure you can run interference for us?”

Killian raised his glass at him. “I can do that. It’s me she’s after anyway.”

LJ squeezed his arm. “Killian, be careful, aye?” The concern and fondness in his words made Killian swallow.

“Aye, I will.”

He watched as LJ retreated, playing with the chips on the table and downing his drink. He ordered another as the new dealer showed up. As she set up the table, Killian counted out his heartbeats - one, two, three, four…

On five, Emma sat down beside him, cashing in a hundred dollar bill.

“I’d have thought you’d have privileges for playing in Gold’s casinos, Swan.”

“Fancy places are not my thing. And I could say the same to you. Nemo’s protegee should be able to access better places than this.”

He tilted his head, studying her profile. He wasn’t surprised by the words. It was only natural that she’d set to go after him, looking under every rock for every single piece of information she could gather on him.

There just the two of them on the table and the dealer opened up the bets. He placed a chip on the felt and waited for his cards. “What can I say, this place has its benefits…”

She didn’t pay that much attention to her cards. “What were you doing here tonight?”

Shifting a little, he doubled his bet. “Just passing the time.”

She passed on her bet and Killian winced. She should have doubled with the cards she’d been dealt. “Really? And who were your friends?”

A small smirk came to his lips. “Just some acquaintances I hadn’t had the chance to catch up with in a long time.”

The house went over. He won a good sum. Emma won the bare minimum.

“Funny you should say that, because when I looked into you, I couldn’t find a single associate. Or friend. Or acquaintance.”

Aye. He’d anticipated that, which is why he’d made sure Smee erased all traces of his known associates, along with his family and friends. Only Nemo remained, as it gave him a valid connection to be in the city. If push came to shove, he could claim that he was here to be with his friend.

He examined his cards and shrugged a shoulder. “What can I say, I’m a lone wolf.”

“Bullshit, Killian.” She raised her hand to double her bet and his hand moved of its own accord to stop her.

“The house has too many chances to take this one, let it pass.”

The way she cocked an eyebrow at him stirred something in him, but he reigned it in and slowly removed his hand. Emma stared down at her cards for a long moment before passing on raising her bet. He wouldn’t count that as a sign of anything, that way would only lead to heartache in the end. They continued to play in silence for a few hands, Killian earning a nice pile of chips while Emma fell behind. Resisting the urge to give her more pointers, Killian leaned back and drummed his fingers on the table.

“How's working for Gold?”

The corner of her lips lifted in the hint of a smile. “Please, as if you were interested in my work.”

“You wound me, Swan.”

“Drop the act. I know you’re up to something and I know you’re trying to weasel information out of me. But I’m not the girl that I was. I’m not falling for your charming lies this time.” She gathered her chips, leaving one behind for a tip, and walked away.

He shouldn’t go after her, he knew he shouldn’t. And yet the temptation was stronger than his will. Picking up his own chips and sliding them in his pocket, he flipped one to the dealer and followed Emma out.

He caught up with her almost at the exit and pulled her into a corner of the room. Resisting the urge to give in and press his body to hers, he focused instead on his words.

“You don't want to do this. You don’t want to be spying for Gold, Emma.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, especially since you’re the reason I need to find this type of employment.” While there was bitterness in her words, her eyes also seemed focused to his lips. Killian felt the same pull and he moved closer to her, his fingers itching to trace along the soft skin of her arms. Before he could, Emma shook her head and pressed her hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Your charm no longer works on me, Jones. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…”

“I’m not trying to fool you.” He sighed, resisting the urge to drag her out of here and bring her to the warehouse, to tell her everything. If this was his con alone, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But too much was a stake here, too many of his friends were depending on him. They were already on shaky ground considering Liam’s focus on Belle, Killian couldn't add more complications to the mix.

Still, he couldn’t leave without letting her know the type of man she was dealing with. “I know Gold. He’s dangerous. He doesn’t play fair.”

She snorted, tilting her head to the side as she glared at him. “And you do?”

The barb hurt and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I have a code, believe it or not.”

“I don’t need a code. I need answers,” she whispered and her confession shook them both. Emma’s eyes widened and she tried to move away from him, but Killian grabbed her elbow and pulled her to him.

“What is it that you're after?” His eyes bored into her, studying her face for any hint of what was really going on. “It can be just the job, not really. Gold pays well, but nothing that you cannot make elsewhere.”

“I don't have that many options left with my reputation ruined, remember?”

“Bullshit. You’ve been highly rewarded for your work.” He regretted the words as soon as he said them. He should learn to keep his own damn mouth shut.

“Keeping tabs on me, huh?”

He ignored her question, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only. It was clear that when he walked out of that room on her, there had been more than her job at stake.

“What was it? What did I cost you, Emma?”

Her face was a blank mask, her eyes avoiding his. “Wouldn't you like to know”

He reached out, caressing his thumb along her cheek. He kept his next words quiet, the desperate plea in them clear. “Please, love, tell me… I need to know.”

She gave him one last assessing look before she pulled away. “Goodbye, Killian.”

He took a breath and let her walk away. When she was finally out of his line of sight, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the wall, his heart beating frantically in his chest.

Whatever it was that Emma Swan was looking, whatever it was that made striking a deal with Gold worth it, he was going to find out.

And he was going to do everything he could to deliver it to her.

/-/

After another night spent with rum and restless dreams, Killian stood at the entrance of the warehouse, willing the pounding in his head to pass. He closed his eyes and sank against the exterior wall as he pressed a bottle of cold water against his temple.

The sound of car tires on gravel had him open one eye and face the glaring morning sunlight again. He turned just as a taxi pulled around the curve and LJ got out. His leather jacket was draped over one arm and he carried a cardboard tray with a few paper cups on his free hand. His hair damp and disheveled, shirt wrinkled, and that spring in his step could only mean one thing.

“You look like you had a good time,” Killian said as LJ handed him one of the cups. The welcome scent of steaming coffee filled his senses and Killian discarded the water bottle, taking a long, slow sip of the warm beverage. It tasted burnt and bitter, making him regret all his life choices - especially this one - while he pondered how his brother could even drink this.

LJ left the rest of the tray on a nearby bench and took a sip of his coffee, his wicked smile and glinting eyes a silent answer to Killian’s comment. “You still look to be in one piece…” He twitched one side of his mouth, making a show of checking for wounds. “I thought I was going to get a call in the middle of the night and have to go pick you up at the police station.”

“I would have never dared to interrupt your much needed getting laid-time, little brother. I would have called Smee.” Killian lifted one shoulder as he ventured one more sip of the coffee. Yup, still terrible. “Besides, she doesn’t have anything on me.”

“She has you by the balls, but please, by all means, keep deluding yourself.”

Killian chuckled, tossing the poor excuse for a coffee in the trash bin. “Next time, unless it’s done by a proper barista with freshly ground coffee beans and a espresso machine, bring me tea, LJ.”

“Like you wouldn’t find a fault in any poorly steeped tea too, brother.”

Touché. Killian placed two fingers over his heart, a part of him grateful that LJ had gotten to know that side of him.

“Come on,” LJ called as he picked up the tray and tilted his head towards the front door. “Henry's cocoa is getting cold and the poor lad needs his sugar to function properly.”

He smirked as he passed LJ and opened the door and held it for him. “You two seem to be getting along well.”

LJ shrugged. “He's cool and honestly, I feel a lot more comfortable around him than some of the others. He hasn't been in the business much…”

The meaning behind the words was clear. “So anything related to the Jones name doesn't mean much to him.”

LJ gave him a shy smile. “Yeah, that's a perk.”

Killian placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It's good to make friends, good friends, early in your career. People you can trust.” He looked at him and a wave of sympathy flooded him. He wanted to be that for his brother so desperately, as Liam had been for him. And yet, he understood more than anyone the need to shine for yourself, outside your family name. “You don't have to do everything alone.”

“I know… is that Smee for you?”

“Aye.”

Henry made his way towards them, his eyes almost rolling at the back of his head. “Finally, man.” He reached for the cup that LJ handed to him and took a long sip. His eyes closed, he sighed in contentment. “You even remember the cinnamon”.

Killian cocked an eyebrow, some memory poking at the back of his mind that he couldn’t place. “Cinnamon?”

LJ lifted a shoulder carelessly as he finished his coffee and tossed the cup in a nearby trash bin. “Yeah, the kid has weird taste.”

Henry gave him a challenging look. “Who are you calling weird, you nimble fingered freak?”

LJ gave him a cheesy smile, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Henry. “Careful with the whipped cream there, Henry.  We don't want you to put on weight and miss your acrobatic stunt mark over there. A lot is a stake here, maybe I should switch you to skim milk.”

Henry tossed his finished drink, puffing out his chest in his best in his best impression of a face-off. “Please, that'll never happen.” He opened his arms with an arrogant smile. “I'm too good for this.”

LJ grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and took out a bill. “Prove it, fly boy. I have a twenty that says you can’t make that jump.”

“You’re on.”

/-/

It took less than thirty minutes to set up the recreation of what would happen in the vault in a few days. Henry gave LJ a self-satisfied smile as he climbed into the cash cart.

Everyone gathered around and Killian figured it was as good a time as any to do a run-down of the operation. The rest of them might as well benefit from the bet Henry and LJ had going on.

“Alright, here’s the rundown. On the night of the fight, Poseidon’s package will arrive at the casino at 7:15. From there, LJ needs to work his magic, get the codes we need to access the elevator. At 7:30, Ariel and Eric will work their own magic and get the cart delivered, with Henry inside, into the vault. At that point we’re all in.” He paused and glanced around the room. “All-in. We can’t back up, we can’t screw up, we can’t delay. Once the vault is closed, we have thirty minutes before he suffocates.”

“Gee, you better not fuck it up, guys, or I swear I’ll haunt you from the underworld.” Henry waved as they closed the lid and Ariel and Eric rolled the cart into the vault replica.

From the corner of his eye, Killian watched as Liam entered the warehouse, his hair in the same state of dishevel as LJ’s had been, the same spring in his step. Bloody arse. Liam stood next to him and watched intently as the action unfolded.

“When the power goes down, it means that all entries to the vault and the elevator are on lock down for two minutes. And that is when we strike.”

The lights in the vault dimmed and Henry pushed the false top of the cart open, slowly removing himself from his confines. “It is going to feel like I spent days in there,” he said as he positioned himself on top of the cart.

“Alright, flyboy,” LJ teased, “we’ve left you in the middle of the room, far away from everything. There are sensors on the floor, and you need to get from where you are to the door without activating any of them. What are you going to do, hotshot? I have twenty saying you can’t make it.”

“I have ten saying you can!” Smee called.

“You can do it, Henry! I have faith in you!” Ariel cheered, clapping her hands in excitement.

Liam’s mouth twisted into a grimace, making him look nauseated. “We should all maintain some professionalism in here, this is a serious operation.”

“They are young, Liam.” Killian shrugged, pointing at Henry with a twenty to show his support. “Especially Henry and LJ. Let them live a little.” He turned to face his brother and gave him a once over from head to toe. “Speaking of living a little, did you have a nice night?”

The tips of Liam’s ears turned pink and he shuffled his feet. “It’s not what you think.”

Killian gritted his teeth. “Please Liam, don’t insult my intelligence.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As long as you promise me that you can handle it.”

“I can handle it,” Liam said quickly and Killian really wanted to believe his brother, but he wasn’t sure anymore.

Their conversation in a stale point, they both turned their attention at the scene in front of them. Henry closed his eyes, took a deep breath and positioned himself in a dead squat. From there he leapt, gracefully and hands first, from the cart to a ledge in one of the walls of the vault. Sitting there, he turned around and flipped off LJ. “Drinks on you tonight, loverboy.”

The rest of the crew clapped and boomed, with Nemo congratulating them all on a job well done.

“This is all well and good, but I’m sorry to say that we are fucked.”

Everyone turned to find Milah standing there, hair a mess, her blouse misbuttoned, and mascara running down her cheeks. There was decidedly no spring in her step and her face made it clear that whomever she picked up for the night hadn’t gotten the job done.

As if to confirm Killian’s assumption, she cocked an eyebrow. “And not in a good way.” She walked towards the nearest table, her high-heeled boots clicking against the tile floor and poured herself a drink. Tossing her head back, she finished off the drink in one go and poured herself another.

“Wow, Milah, slow down, it’s not even 10 am,” Killian cautioned, moving slowly towards her. He had a few choice barbs on the tip of his tongue, but though they had parted amicably and they were friendly with one another, there were certain lines a gentleman didn’t cross with someone he’d known in the biblical sense. This was one of those lines. He’d never made a comment on Milah’s hookups and he wasn’t going to start now, unless it meant problems for their operation. Taking one last step in her direction, he took the glass from her hand. “What are you talking about?”

She started to pace, speaking a mile a minute. “These idiots. It’s a universal truth that you can count on electricity companies to be the most inefficient people ever, but no… we had to hit the jackpot of the only capable ones! Who would have thought that they would do a fucking routine inspection and took notice of the fact that you can blow up their grid lines one by one like dominoes?”

There was silence as she continued to move back and forth across the room, until Nemo shot Smee a questioning look. “Do you understand what she’s talking about?”

“Some, it seems that we will be having troubles with the planned power blow up.”

“Exactly right, my friend,” Milah agreed, jabbing her finger at Smee, the open, loose sleeve of her chiffon blouse billowing around her elbow in added emphasis. “They figured out their weakness and now they are fixing it. Like I said, we’re fucked.”

Liam scrunched his face in confusion. “Wait, how do you know all of this?”

She spun and raised an eyebrow at Liam, leaving Killian feeling oddly grateful to not have that level of fury directed at him. “Where exactly do you think I was last night? Or any of the other nights?”

Liam’s cheeks flushed. “I just thought...”

She groaned in frustration. “Oh, for crying out loud! Just because you’re all terrible horn dogs doesn’t mean I am. I’ve been trailing some of the electricity engineers and technical operators. And yes, last night I actually had to sleep with one of them so I could hack into their work orders. Which is how I know about this entire thing.”

Every last person in the room had the grace to look sheepish, but none of them dared to speak up. It was Nemo who finally ventured to break the silence. “Milah, we-”

Milah waved him off. “Yeah, you can all apologize to me later, after we figure out what the hell we’re going to do if we still want to pull this job.”

Eric turned to look at Liam. “What about-”

But Ariel interrupted him, patting his hand and shaking her head. “Not enough time.”

And that was the crux of it. There was not enough time to do a bloody thing. Coming this close to the job, being able to taste it and feel it brush against their fingertips, only to have it ripped away at the very last minute. Killian wanted to smash the entire fake vault, anything to break the sense that it was standing there mocking him.

“Unless it’s a pinch.”

All eyes turned back to Milah, who was now perched over the edge of the table, nursing a third drink.

“A what now?” Henry asked.

Milah took a sip of her drink. “It’s like a heart attack for any broadband electrical circuitry.”

Killian glanced around the room, wondering if that made any bloody sense to anyone else. Given their blank expressions, he was going with nope. Sighing deeply, Milah looked at Smee. “Can you take this one? I’m knackered and I don’t have it in me.”

Smee smiled and cleared his throat. “A pinch is an electromagnetic pulse that can shut down any power source in its vicinity. Bombs do it, but it usually goes unnoticed because of the amount of destruction that usually follows.”

“So this pinch,” Nemo asked, taking charge of the scene in a way he only knew, “could take out the power of Vegas?” Milah nodded. “For how long?”

“About thirty seconds.”

Nemo’s face twisted. “That’ll do.”

“There. Is. Only. One. Little. Tiny. Problem,” Milah punctuated each word by swaying her glass back and forth before swallowing the remainder in one gulp. “There is only one pinch in the world big enough to do this, and it sure as shit ain’t here in Vegas.”

Cold sweat ran down Killian’s neck. “Please tell me it’s in a place that is currently going through a cold wave with snow storms and high winds.”

Milah gave him an apologetic smile. “California.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. “I’m not going.”

“Killian-” Liam started but Killian was not having it.

Pulling Liam to the side, he met his brother’s eyes. “Nope. Take LJ and Henry with you. Those two are going to be better at this than me. I’m going to stay here. Smee and I have to work on the final details of the plan anyway.” He left it unsaid that he was going to have Smee look into Emma’s past and figure out what it was she was looking for. But his brother didn’t need to know that. Not now. They were already working on two fronts, he didn’t need for anyone to know he was adding a third. He could handle this. Besides, it would be good for LJ and Liam to bond a little.

“You sure about LJ? He seems green,” Liam asked, his eyes shifting to where their brother was talking with Nemo and Henry.

If you spent more time talking with him than seducing your ex-wife, maybe you wouldn’t think that. Killian shook his head as he let the thought pass. “Liam, I trust him, and you should too. We brought him here to be part of the family, didn’t we? Then let him take part in it.”

“You’re right.” Liam stepped away and moved to gather Milah, LJ, Henry, Ariel and Eric, readying them to plan their next moves and set them into motion.

With their attention focused elsewhere, Killian knew it was the perfect time to put his own plan into motion. “Smee,” he called over his friend, “I need you to look into something for me.” He pulled his phone and showed Smee a picture of Emma and Gold.

Smee’s face turned pale and before he could say anything, Killian cut him off. “Aye, it’s her and she’s here working for Gold. She’s looking for something and I need to know what that is.”  He tried to hide the desperation in his voice but failed in the end, his voice cracking.

“I’ll look into it,” Smee vowed solemnly and Killian felt a lump form in his throat at his friend’s loyalty.

“Thank you, mate.”

Smee moved towards his data room, ready to work his magic and Killian turned around to assess the room. Liam and LJ were having a conversation and Killian left them, for once, to work their own relationship out. If nothing else came out of this, at least they could all be a family in the end. He spotted Henry at the side of the room, still assessing the vault and doing a slow-motion rehearsal of his moves.

“Henry! Listen, take care of yourself out there.” Killian placed his hand on Henry’s shoulder. “And take care of the others. You’ll be trapped between an obnoxious couple and a family feud, sorry about that. Just keep your head in the game. Someone other than Milah has to.”

Henry chuckled. “I will, Killian, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not a kid.”

Killian’s heart grew two sizes in his chest. “Yes, you are. You can lie to those goody two shoes that had you at the circus, and you can even lie to yourself if you want, but you can’t lie to me, boy.” He gave the lad a reassuring smile. “The reasons for your secrets are your own and I’ll respect that, but you’re a part of us now, just as much as LJ is. We take care of our own.”

From the way Henry swallowed and how his eyes locked with Killian’s for a brief minute, his want to believe read clearly on his face. But as quickly as it came, his face shifted back to neutral, his hard armor sliding back into place. “I’m tougher than I look. I won’t break.” Yet again Killian cursed every single foster parent that had beaten the sense of love and family out of this kid. But, he reminded himself, one thing at the time.

“I know.” He patted Henry’s cheek. “Still, be careful, lad.”

He watched Henry leave and decided he’d had enough emotions for the day. It wasn’t even noon. He needed a drink. He was pouring himself a healthy dose of rum when he heard Milah’s voice call from behind him.

“Killian Jones, the overprotective brother. I thought that was Liam’s role.”

He took a sip of his drink, enjoying the slide of the liquid fire down his throat. “It seems I’ve taken a page from his book.”

He passed the drink to her and she took a sip. “Do I get the “you’re family to me” speech too?”

Killian’s eyes softened, his muscles sore from too many nights with little sleep. “You know you are. You wouldn’t be here with us if we didn’t feel like family to you too.” He reached for her hand. “Take care of them, Milah. Don’t let them do anything foolish.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’ll try. But with two Joneses in the mix, I can’t make any promises.”

[tricklingstreamdacre]

Let Me Have This; Steve x Reader [Last People on Earth AU]

STEVE HARRINGTON x FEM!READER

SUMMARY: You’re the last people left in the world, it’s a hard reality to face knowing you’ll be the last ones here. But you’re going to make the most of it.

WARNINGS/NOTES: ANGST (oh my god), death (of like the world?+ animals), suicidal thoughts, car crash, blood

REQUEST: The people want more Steve what can I say (thanks @heckin-harrington ) WORD COUNT:

A/N: THIS IS THE LAST POST OF AU WEEK IT’S NOW MY BIRTHDAY I’M HAPPY Y’ALL

You were the last person on earth for ninety days.

Feet dangling off a plummeting cliff, the air pushing your hair behind your shoulders you wondered what would happen if you pushed yourself over. Left behind the world reduced to nothing but a wasteland and nothingness.

It was laer that morning you had met Steve Harrington.

Driving in another hijacked car you pulled up in another town searching for food to collect and resources to pick. You spoke to yourself loudly to numb the deafening silence around you, even if the birds still chirped and the flies still hovered. You thought back to the cliff while tossing a rock in your hands poorly, as the thoughts became more vivid you threw the rock into a glass pane of a music store next to you and heard it smash into a million pieces and scatter on the floor.

The sound was loud, the loudest thing you’d heard since your screams into open fields as you travelled the US alone. The thought made you let a tear fall from your face as you stood amongst the broken glass. Your fists clenched looking into the store filled with cobwebs and dust.

The sound of footsteps were ones you ignored, it reminded you of day sixty roaming the streets New York and you could feel the people around you bustling in hoards. 

But these footsteps were real.

When they got quicker you frowned and turned around before seeing the silhouette of a boy your age.

You freaked, your heart skipped beats, eyes widened beyond your own knowledge and you felt your head spin as he walked closer with a similar shock.

“I’m going crazy,” you mumbled as your eyes started blurring his face coming closer. But he didn’t seem to slow and as you saw his greasy hair, pale complexion and large eyes and took it all in.

“No- you’re, you’re real right?”

You paused, the question was so weird, his voice was so foreign and you felt yourself cry with the most happiness you’d had in months.

“I-I’m real.” you paused, he stared tensely as you reached out for him, feeling the side of his face and tears poured down your face as you processed his existence, “Y-You’re real.”

You hugged him tightly, he hugged back just as quick and you could feel his tears stain your jacket as he thanked gods you weren’t sure he even believed in. 

You were one of the last people on earth for another two years.

Standing side by side for months that turned to years you couldn’t even guarantee the days wondering if you’d forgotten to mark them off. But you found yourself clinging to Steve Harrington like a lifeline because he was the only reason you’d stayed.

You’d marked down every state in the US, travelling as far you could go and explored every mansion you found as if it was a virtual reality game. The two of you tried to experience things you’d always wanted to, took whatever you had wanted as a kid.

You sung on famous stages, visited famous sets, stole from the richest stores and hung onto small souvenirs from every place you visited. Your favourite was the photo’s you’d get from a working photobooth you spent hours in.

Because in the last one he kissed you.

Ever since the kiss you too had loved each other unconditionally, considering it might be because you were the last, but not caring, holding hands as you slept every night.

You were one of the last people for three years.

It was the third anniversary of your meeting, you were looking through an antique store eating cookies that didn’t go out of date when you heard a cough from behind.

Turning around Steve on one knee held a simple but beautiful ring in his hand and proposed to you.

You cried and kissed him as he slid it on your finger. 

You had a June wedding in a beautiful dress you found in that very antique store.

Spending the night dancing for hours to a stack of mixtapes with a million songs to listen to, laughing and smiling, by the time your feet were blistering he dragged you to bed and stared into your eyes blessing the world for giving him one thing to love in this world.

Many nights were spent talking of past, these kids called Dustin, Mike, Max, Lucas, Will, Elle and his friends Nancy, Jonathan and some estranged one called Billy who had spent his last moments trying ‘to make things right’.

You talked of family, things you wished you’d done and things you regret. You cried into each other's arms when necessary, everything was free and sacred between you, for only the two of you to hear. Husband and wife in your early twenties.

You were the last couple on earth for four years.

You coughed for the third time during dinner and Steve looked at you worried, but you waved it off took some medicine that wasn’t out of date and went to bed thinking of the trip to the bowling alley you’d planned for tomorrow.

When you woke up Steve was outside picking out fruit and vegetables to eat, a dog, a stray you’d found alongside him dropping a ball at his feet every minute or so. You smiled standing on the veranda of the small house you’d been sleeping in the past few months.

“How you feeling?”

“Better, I told you not to worry,” you reassured as your hands wrapped around his waist the sound of your dog panting filling the area.

“Well don’t do it again.”

“Don’t cough?”

“Don’t get sick,” he elaborated, “I don’t want to lose you to a cold.”

“Don’t worry about that.” you waved off picking up the ball and throwing it into the large field.

Steve looked at you anxious, it seemed you forgot how risky your life with him was. He wasn’t a doctor, there would only be so much he could do before he’d just have to watch you fade away.

But you said it wouldn’t happen. So he didn’t have to worry.

He would have to worry about something else. 

“Dustin!” you called, but the dog was gone.

You and Steve had been searching the lonely town for hours, but your dog you’d come to love and cherish had disappeared into thin air and you were both extremely concerned.

“We should go into the forest we found him,” you explained, “It’s the only place I can think of.”

He nodded and you both rode bikes there and started searching together, you had made a rule two months into knowing each other; never split up.

It started raining, hard, you were glad you brought an umbrella but Steve was getting worried at the idea of one of you two getting sick and was trying to get you to go home, but you refused to.

“I think I heard him!” you yelled out as the rain muffled your words, “Over there!”

He grabbed your wrist, “Y/N we need to go back.”

“I’m not leaving Dustin here!” you replied, the mention of Dustin softened his grip and you wandered further into the rain. He called out for you to stop but soon he couldn’t hear you.

He couldn’t see you.

Steve was the last person on earth for two weeks.

Watching Dustin dropped the ball at your feet, he let his face screw up in a mix of anger and sadness as he screamed at the dog and threw the ball so far into the field the grass now overgrown before storming back inside and locking the dog in the open.

“Please come back to me,” he mumbled between tears and a clenched throat, his hair dirty and his eyes sunken in and burning red. 

The silence was killing him, the silence at dinner as his cutlery scrapped against the plate alone had him shaking, even managing to spill his juice over the tablecloth.

But the world would show him mercy when you appeared at the door covered in bruises, pale and weak barely breathing at his doorstep.

Screaming shits as he forced water down your throat and food in your mouth, he panicked his hands fumbling and shaking as he laid you on the bed giving you medication and disinfectants for every scratch you had.

You remember looking up at Steve, eyebrows slightly furrowed and your hands dragging over his face softly, it seemed to calm and still him and he finally looked into your eyes. They were shaking with adrenaline, you smiled breath hoarse, “I love you so much Steve.”

You and Steve were the last people on earth for one more year.

Burying Dustin in the ground it proved to be a wake-up call for the two of you, you’d forgotten about death as you only experienced it once on a mass occasion so many years ago you were numb to the memories. You held each other knowing what you were thinking but not speaking a word of it. Because you were both thinking about what would happen if one of you died, and the other had to stay here.

Two days later you were driving in a new car, you had tried to leave your existential crisis in the dust and appreciate the life ahead of you, you were out of town for awhile, you’d made a small machine to keep the plants watered and were now ready to visit some states and explore like the old days.

You weren’t paying attention to the road because there was nothing to see, you held hands tightly and hummed in unison to the song on the radio. A song you’d listen to a hundred times yet never gotten bored of, you could even play it on the piano a skill you picked up after practising and reading several books.

Steve fiddled idly with you ring a band on his as well, he felt content and happy, now well into his twenties he imagined what kind of life he had ahead. 

You both said no kids, not only did it seem too risky for you but there would be no outcome, or two kids doomed to live alone when your inevitable pass, then what?

Giggling you started to sing louder to the song playing taking the sombre moment and creating laughter. You started to sing louder and louder and Steve joined as you danced spastically and without technique.

“Do you think we’re really the only ones?”

Steve shook his head, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” you paused, “What if their people in... Australia?” 

He laughed and turned to you, “Maybe.”

He didn’t notice the large ditch in the road.

Going beyond the speed limit the second it hit and dipped one wheel of the car you felt yourself getting thrown throw the glass of the car and launched onto the road beside Steve.

You could feel the broken bones in your body, you could feel the glass in your face and hands as you let out a guttural cry.

Steve, less injured than you but still bleeding from his head, looked over at you in shock. He managed to crawl towards you with shaky feet and kneel beside you, he felt his heart leaping from his chest and stabbing itself. 

“Oh my god Y/N.” he mumbled cradling your head.

“How bad is it Steve?” you breathed out as you looked into his eyes tears of pain flowing from your eyes, you tried to look down at your lower half but couldn’t so Steve did it for you. 

He could only look for half a second.

“I-It’s fine Y/N.” he said, “It’s fine.” he reaffirmed trying to convince himself more than you. But with dirt in your hair as blood flowed from your nose and mouth you knew better, you could barely feel anything yet feel everything all at once.

“You know I love you Steve right?”

He nodded, “I love you too, you know that.”

You nodded slowly throat tightening, “Right.”

Taking a deep breath you started to shake and you felt yourself pale as everything started to tingle in your body, “And you know I won’t hold anything against what you do when I’m gone... right?

“Once you’re gone?” he questioned, “No you’re not leaving yet.” he denied his head shaking causing his head to pound harder.

You saw it in his eyes, the fear and denial and you let out a large sob as more tears spilt from your eyes into your mouth, “I’m not going anywhere, I’ll always be with you.”

He nodded, “Right, because you’re fine, you’re safe I’ll protect you-”

“You have.” you confirmed, “And I love you so much.”

You could feel everything around you blur, and it wasn’t from the tears, everything started melting and you took in the last clear look of your husband.

Steve looked down at your weakening body with adrenaline and fear, he wasn’t a doctor he didn’t know what to do.

“Wha do I do Y/N? I don’t know what to do.” he explained his voice high and desperate as he looked at you mouth open and tears and snot falling from his face, “Don’t leave me yet.”

“I’m not.” you confirmed, you felt a small jolt of adrenaline allow you to lift your hand and drag it over Steve’s face for the last time, like you’d done the first time you met him, like you’d done when he kissed you for the first time, like you’d done when you said ‘I do’ and when he saved you.

Though his face was wet and slightly cold, you felt comforted, “I’m always with you Steve. Promise me you’ll remember that.”

“I will,” he replied quickly, “I won’t forget, I’ll never forget you.”

“Good.” you whispered your eyes fluttering closed, “That’s good...”

Steve was the last person on earth for three days.

Standing in front of the small house he lived in forever he looked over to the small grave with Dustin written on a wooden board and then looked to his left where adorned in flowers your name was sketched as neat as Steve could attempt in a wooden board that sat in the dirt.

In his hands was a box, filled with your favourite souvenirs the world had to offer, mixtapes, photos and rings, wedding dresses and letters you had written in case someone ever happened to find this.

Steve wrote a long letter in careful detail though messily as he hadn’t had much need for writing in years. It had your final words, anything he thought important, any moment he loved the most. He wished he could write it all.

But after reading it once more he placed the letter in the box and left it inside the house, locked it and turned away warily as he coached himself not to look back.

Don’t look back Steve... Don’t do it.

He stepped into a car and slammed the door looking at the road ahead. And he wondered; how many days could he be the last man on earth with an angel following him everywhere he went.

Tell me your thoughts xxx

[futuristiccyclestarlight]

Pac Man World Rally Pc Download

Pac Man World Rally Pc Download Games

Pac Man World 2

Welcome to Pac-Man World Rally! In these races we travel to distant worlds very similar to the Pac-Man World franchise! Play as your beloved Pac-People or th. May 11, 2014  Pac-Man World Rally PC Game Free Download. By Hienzo May 11, 2014 0 Comments. Start Download. Pac-Man World Rally merupakan game bergenre racing yang memiliki 15 trek dan menyediakan banyak pilihan mode. Selain balapan, ada juga mode perang mobil seperti CTR, karena bisa menggunakan senjata yang telah disediakan sebelumnya di arena battle.

Description

In Pac Man World Rally, players can race through a variety of environments from Pac Man World as Pac Man, Pac Jr. and other characters from past Namco classics. Players kart race for the win or fight it out in colorful Battle Arenas with special weapons, power ups and variety Pac-Man powers.In Pac Man World Rally, players can race through a variety of environments from Pac Man World as Pac Man, Pac Jr. and other characters from past Namco classics. Players kart race for the win or fight it out in colorful Battle Arenas with special weapons, power ups and variety Pac-Man powers. The game also features the Prince of all Cosmos from the award-winning Katamari series as an unlockable character. Making a debut in his first kart racing game, the Prince can be unlocked by winning a Gold Trophy in all Circuit Cups within the EASY difficulty setting.

Genre: Driving, Racing, Arcade, Kart, Other, Kart

System Requirements

Minimum:

OS: Windows XP/Vista/7/8

CPU: 800 Mhz

RAM: 256 MB

DirectX: 7.0

Hard Drive: 13 MB

Overview

It’s Pac-Man’s 20th anniversary and all his family and pals are getting ready to throw a big bash for him. The evil Toc-Man, however, is jealous of Pac-Man’s popularity and sends out his henchmen Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde (as well as some other unnamed ghosts) to capture all of Pac’s buddies and family and throw the party for himself instead. It’s now up to Pac-Man to save Ms. Pac-Man, Pac Jr., Baby Pac, Professor Pac, Pooka (yes, the one from Dig Dug -- how’d they meet?), and Chomp-Chomp the dog from their prisons on Ghost Island then defeat the ghosts and Toc-Man. Good luck and get chomping!

Pac-Man World is the 20th Anniversary sequel to what’s generally considered the most popular coin-op arcade game of all time: Pac-Man. While the meat of this game is a 3D-platform style game, there is still plenty of the maze action that originally made this game so incredibly popular.

Gameplay

Pac-Man World’s gameplay is broken up into three different parts: Quest, Mazes, and Classic. Classic allows you to play (you guessed it) the classic original version from the arcade. Maze mode allows you to play in the same style as the original game, but in many different maze scenarios that reflect the levels in the Quest mode. The various scenarios include different hazards also, such as blocking laser beams or dropping rocks in set locations. The Maze and Quest modes go hand in hand as you can find and unlock new mazes in Quest mode which then become available in Maze mode.

Quest mode makes up the bulk of the game. It is played as a 3D-platform style game. Pac-Man has evolved a bit since his two-dimensional days as he can now jump, dash, swim, roll, throw dots, and butt-bounce his way through any obstacles in his path. In addition to ghosts attacking him, there are all sorts of other baddies that change depending on the particular level that is being played. For instance, in Pirate levels you need to look out for walking skeletons whereas in space you may have electrical aliens trying to fry you. Most of these enemies are easily dispatched by a butt bounce, a dot being thrown, or by rolling into them. There are lots of items to pick up along the way such as various fruits (which will allow you access through certain fruit doors), dots, and power pills (of course), extra health or lives, the letters spelling PACMAN, and keys to free your friends and family. Grabbing these items will give you access to bonus levels and extra mazes. The end of each level will give you some chances at extra lives by trying your hand at matching fruit on a slot machine. At the end of each level you are taken to Ghost Island; from there you can go to and play any level to which you have previously gained access. The scenarios are varied nicely and consist of Pirate, Ruins, Space, Funhouse, Factory, and a Mansion. There are three or four levels per scenario including a boss level. The boss levels are interesting, as each one is unique. The bosses themselves are challenging, but not impossible to beat.

The controls handle quite nicely. You can use the D-pad, or if using a dual-shock controller, you can use either stick to control Pac-Man. The analog allows you to walk slow or run depending on how hard it’s pressed. Torrent. I found that depending on the situation, sometimes the analog stick works better and sometimes the D-pad works better. The camera in this game strafes alongside Pac-Man for the most part. I found this makes the game easier to play than others that attempt to have the camera follow you since you can actually see what’s going on around you at any given time with the camera positioned this way. Experienced game players as well as novices should have no trouble learning how to control Pac-Man, which makes for a better all-around gameplay experience.

The interface is as simple as virtually every other game out there. If you can read, you should have no problems with it at all. In some cases, though, you may need to pay attention to what button will do what action. For instance, on the slot machine screen, I accidentally hit X instead of O to stop the slots and ended up canceling that screen altogether (effectively killing my chance at extra lives -- doh!) The game allows you to save up to three separate games on your memory card. After you complete a Quest level, you will be asked if you want to save. Be sure you have at least one free block before you do this, though, as the game doesn’t allow you to delete any blocks if the card is full.

Graphics

I liked ‘em a lot. The graphics are bright and colorful. The characters have that more up-to-date, refined, 3D cartoonish look that most older cartoon characters seem to get after being around awhile. The animation is very fluid, detailed, and nice to watch. A prime example of this is watching Pac-Man butt-bounce around the screen -- you can see him tumble every way possible and flail his arms around. I was impressed by this amount of detail. All the stationary objects and background objects also look nice. By PlayStation standards, they all look pretty normal to me. There are some minor special effects in the game such as sparkling icons or laser beams. Fortunately, almost none of the graphics, foreground stuff excluded, get in the way of seeing other things on screen. Overall I found everything to be tasty eye candy.

Audio

Pac Man World Rally Pc Download Games

Think of the original coin-op version of Pac-Man, only updated and added to.. a lot. Many of the same sounds are there -- eating dots, power pills, fruits, chomping ghosts, etc. The music in the game is great and really fits in quite nicely with whatever current scenario is being played. For instance, if you’re on the Pirate levels, the music has a Caribbean sound whereas the outer space levels have more of an 'outer-spacey' sound about them. Overall, the sounds and music are cheery and upbeat and are not dull by any means.

System Features Supported

One player (you can play two-player alternating in Classic Mode), Memory Card (1 block), Shock compatible, and Analog compatible

Bottom Line

The ESRB rating is right on with this one. This IS a game for everyone. It’s challenging, but not too hard. It has responsive control, nice graphics and sound, and plenty of variety with general gameplay. If you’ve ever enjoyed any of the Pac-Man games in the past, you’ll probably appreciate what this game has to offer. This game will probably also appeal to those who like classic platform style games as this one plays a bit more like a 2D-platform game than most other platform games today even though it has the 3D element. Although the game may not be the most original thing out there (it IS based on a 20 year old game, after all), it definitely has original elements (such as the bosses) -- much like what made the original Pac-Man so successful. I was quite pleased all around and really found nothing to gripe about, which is why I’m happy to give this game a score of 89.

Pac Man World 2

Overall rating: 7

[northamptoncouplestherapy]

Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel once said, "None of us are married to just one person in our lives, even if we only marry one person." For those who have been married 40 years and beyond, this saying undoubtedly rings true. As partners change and grow, good marriages evolve.

We live in a culture that is richly informed by romantic concepts. However, the truth is that marriage is hard for even the most committed partners. We increasingly rely on our spouses to play a vast number of roles in our lives: friend, lover, co-parent and financial partner.

Playing all these roles is a lot to navigate and virtually guarantees  that you will not only hit bumps but also some craters along the way. When two people with separate histories come together, there will be periods where the best thing you can hope for is to find a way to coexist and a maintain a neutral stance towards one and other.

However, over time and with work, you and your spouse can grow together and even thrive. Science and relationship studies provide critical features of the roadmap that points to long-term success.

In the name of science and in honor of all those marriages that have surpassed the 40-year-mark and beyond, here are five tips for lasting success so that you can enjoy the different phases of evolution together. It is never too early to make use of them, even if you have just started your relationship’s journey.  

1.  Avoid The Comparison Level Alternatives Phenomenon

John Gottman, a recognized leader in the field of marital distress, first coined the phrase “comparison level alternatives” to describe the pattern in which we compare our life circumstances with an alternative, imagined scenario in the outside world.

For example, it’s quite normal to ask yourself questions like, “Am I happy in my career, or would I enjoy following a different path?” or “Am I really made for a life in the suburbs?” or“Should I consider a move to the city?”

When a marriage starts going on the rocks, however, you or your spouse might entertain more damaging comparisons or even enter into a marriage crisis.

You might say to yourself, "If I was married to so and so I’d be happier," or "If I had picked a different person, my life would be less lonely,” or, "Maybe if I were alone, my life would be better."

Research shows that comparison level alternatives are dangerous and potentially devastating to a marriage. They often manifest themselves in absorption of fantasies of freedom, or can lead to emotional and physical affairs. Avoid this insidious line of thinking at all costs.

When things get hard, try saying to yourself, “Part of being in a relationship is navigating troubled times, and I could be just as unhappy in another relationship. It might look different, but there would be difficulty and conflict all the same.”  More simply, you could remind yourself of the truism “out of the frying pan, into the fire.”

Instead of entertaining fantasies about some alternative life that doesn’t exist, choose your primary partner; committing to them in every way repeatedly. Spiritually. Emotionally. Mentally. Choose your spouse, again and again.

2. Adopt a Commitment Mindset

Committed spouses lean more towards realism than romanticism during challenging phases, and maintain an awareness that their needs will go unmet a certain percentage of time in the relationship. When asked for the secret behind her successful marriage to George Harrison, Olivia Harrison said, “It’s simple. Just don’t get divorced.”

A successful long-term marriage requires a bit of abandon. You must give up the notion that your spouse will make you feel completely satisfied all of the time. Refuse to view your role in the relationship as contingent on how your spouse makes you feel.

This is a type of mindset that manifests itself — not in a declaration of wedding vows — but in the way you show up for your spouse in the everyday, often mundane areas of life. There is something about an unwavering commitment that makes all other burdens easier to bear, and obstacles easier to surmount.

If you do allow your commitment to waver, on the other hand, you are more prone to abandoning the relationship when it goes through a period of not meeting your needs. Whether you do this physically, mentally or emotionally, you stop showing up in any meaningful way.

Instead, you start searching for the proverbial “Exit” sign.

3.  Build Your Relationship “Love Map” (& Continuously Redraw the Lines)

There is immense value in teaching your partner who you are and what makes you feel loved in return.

As humans, we can’t read one another’s minds. However, it’s vital to know what works for both of you and to act on that knowledge repeatedly. Otherwise, you can be building a self-centered marriage, instead of a functional relationship.

The philosophy of love languages--that your partner feels loved in particular ways and you should find those ways--goes part of the distance. But when they don’t see your specific love language and don’t speak it to you, a generosity of spirit can go just as far. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is an important stance when they may be too distracted to love you in the way you want.

During the first 3-5 years of a marriage, you are just developing this understanding and building your love maps — a concept originally developed by John Gottman to describe the process of getting to know your partner’s world intimately.

Ask yourself, what’s happening in your spouse’s world? What’s important to them? What makes their heart sing and/or sink? What romantic gestures do they long for, and how often do you satisfy those longings?

These love map questions are not answered once and for all. Partners headed for a golden anniversary will continue to ask them, revising their maps as they go, adding nuance at every opportunity.  A successful relationship is partly based on continued attention.

4. Avoid Turning to “Thirds” to Avoid Conflict

While we all need to talk about our problems from time to time, it’s important to be selective in what you say, to whom and how often.

In the world of couples therapy, involving others in your marital problems is what we call turning to “thirds.” It’s when you choose to talk to another about your relationship woes instead of your significant other.

Why is this an issue?

Well, for starters, it creates an immediate ripple effect. All of a sudden, you may have a one-sided jury of people who are rooting for you and will take your side no matter what (even if they shouldn’t). Your “jury” is hearing only one perspective of the issue and may align with you on partial evidence. They are likely to give you a level of confidence in the validity of your view that maybe you shouldn’t have.

Another dangerous aspect of turning to “thirds” is the clear conflict avoidance it displays. Whether from a lack of trust or one’s family of origin, some people are just more conflict-averse than others. However, avoidance never solves the most profound problems in a marriage and may exacerbate the issues.

Bringing your complaints to friends and family on a regular basis, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, can poison the well.

5. Support Your Partner in the Hard Times

Couples who have been married for decades have experienced many seasons of life together: births, graduations, deaths of family members, career moves and financial highs and lows.

With everything life can throw your way, it’s important to have someone by your side to hold your hand and share in the ups and downs.

Caring for yourself includes caring for your partner, knowing that their health and well being supports your own. However, if you have a partner who has not cared for you well, (or even become more of a burden than a benefit),  your trust in them may wane. Once the retirement years approach or age starts to take its toll, the stakes for marriage become even higher.

You don’t want to wind up wondering, "Wow, for the next 10, 15 or 20 years, I could be physically compromised. How well is my spouse going to support me through this time?”

The patterns of support you have experienced throughout your marriage will inform how you answer that question. Was your spouse there for you when you had a C-section or your shoulder operation? Were they there for you when you were laid-off from your job or lost your father unexpectedly?

If you have felt abandoned or neglected throughout your marriage, you will have an appreciable amount of trepidation concerning how much support you will receive as you age. And the same may go for your spouse.

One or both of you might be more inclined to say, “Life is short, and I have less of it left. I want to make the next 10 years count.”

This is especially true for if one spouse has worn the hat of caretaker throughout your marriage. They will likely experience burnout. So, if one or both of you are diagnosed with a chronic illness, it just might be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  

In old age, things don’t necessarily become easier. So, pay attention to how you support your spouse now and make every effort to acknowledge the ways you might have missed the mark in the past. This is a step to doing it better in the future.

A marriage that lasts decades requires a committed mindset. It asks each spouse to give equal regard to the others’ thoughts, opinions, and values. And, as you age, it will necessitate even deeper levels of trust and support.

If you and your spouse need a little help adapting to this new stage of your marriage or want to find new ways to approach conflict, our couples therapists have over 100 collective years of experience treating couples and spouses.

From the Gottman Method to Emotionally Focused Therapy, we apply science-based methodologies to our marriage therapy.

We offer weekly therapy and private, intensive 2-Day and 3-Day Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel once said, "None of us are married to just one person in our lives, even if we only marry one person." For those who have been married 40 years and beyond, this saying undoubtedly rings true. As partners change and grow, good marriages evolve.

We live in a culture that is richly informed by romantic concepts. However, the truth is that marriage is hard for even the most committed partners. We increasingly rely on our spouses to play a vast number of roles in our lives: friend, lover, co-parent and financial partner.

Playing all these roles is a lot to navigate and virtually guarantees  that you will not only hit bumps but also some craters along the way. When two people with separate histories come together, there will be periods where the best thing you can hope for is to find a way to coexist and a maintain a neutral stance towards one and other.

However, over time and with work, you and your spouse can grow together and even thrive. Science and relationship studies provide critical features of the roadmap that points to long-term success.

In the name of science and in honor of all those marriages that have surpassed the 40-year-mark and beyond, here are five tips for lasting success so that you can enjoy the different phases of evolution together. It is never too early to make use of them, even if you have just started your relationship’s journey.  

1.  Avoid The Comparison Level Alternatives Phenomenon

John Gottman, a recognized leader in the field of marital distress, first coined the phrase “comparison level alternatives” to describe the pattern in which we compare our life circumstances with an alternative, imagined scenario in the outside world.

For example, it’s quite normal to ask yourself questions like, “Am I happy in my career, or would I enjoy following a different path?” or “Am I really made for a life in the suburbs?” or“Should I consider a move to the city?”

When a marriage starts going on the rocks, however, you or your spouse might entertain more damaging comparisons or even enter into a marriage crisis.

You might say to yourself, "If I was married to so and so I’d be happier," or "If I had picked a different person, my life would be less lonely,” or, "Maybe if I were alone, my life would be better."

Research shows that comparison level alternatives are dangerous and potentially devastating to a marriage. They often manifest themselves in absorption of fantasies of freedom, or can lead to emotional and physical affairs. Avoid this insidious line of thinking at all costs.

When things get hard, try saying to yourself, “Part of being in a relationship is navigating troubled times, and I could be just as unhappy in another relationship. It might look different, but there would be difficulty and conflict all the same.”  More simply, you could remind yourself of the truism “out of the frying pan, into the fire.”

Instead of entertaining fantasies about some alternative life that doesn’t exist, choose your primary partner; committing to them in every way repeatedly. Spiritually. Emotionally. Mentally. Choose your spouse, again and again.

2. Adopt a Commitment Mindset

Committed spouses lean more towards realism than romanticism during challenging phases, and maintain an awareness that their needs will go unmet a certain percentage of time in the relationship. When asked for the secret behind her successful marriage to George Harrison, Olivia Harrison said, “It’s simple. Just don’t get divorced.”

A successful long-term marriage requires a bit of abandon. You must give up the notion that your spouse will make you feel completely satisfied all of the time. Refuse to view your role in the relationship as contingent on how your spouse makes you feel.

This is a type of mindset that manifests itself — not in a declaration of wedding vows — but in the way you show up for your spouse in the everyday, often mundane areas of life. There is something about an unwavering commitment that makes all other burdens easier to bear, and obstacles easier to surmount.

If you do allow your commitment to waver, on the other hand, you are more prone to abandoning the relationship when it goes through a period of not meeting your needs. Whether you do this physically, mentally or emotionally, you stop showing up in any meaningful way.

Instead, you start searching for the proverbial “Exit” sign.

3.  Build Your Relationship “Love Map” (& Continuously Redraw the Lines)

There is immense value in teaching your partner who you are and what makes you feel loved in return.

As humans, we can’t read one another’s minds. However, it’s vital to know what works for both of you and to act on that knowledge repeatedly. Otherwise, you can be building a self-centered marriage, instead of a functional relationship.

The philosophy of love languages--that your partner feels loved in particular ways and you should find those ways--goes part of the distance. But when they don’t see your specific love language and don’t speak it to you, a generosity of spirit can go just as far. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is an important stance when they may be too distracted to love you in the way you want.

During the first 3-5 years of a marriage, you are just developing this understanding and building your love maps — a concept originally developed by John Gottman to describe the process of getting to know your partner’s world intimately.

Ask yourself, what’s happening in your spouse’s world? What’s important to them? What makes their heart sing and/or sink? What romantic gestures do they long for, and how often do you satisfy those longings?

These love map questions are not answered once and for all. Partners headed for a golden anniversary will continue to ask them, revising their maps as they go, adding nuance at every opportunity.  A successful relationship is partly based on continued attention.

4. Avoid Turning to “Thirds” to Avoid Conflict

While we all need to talk about our problems from time to time, it’s important to be selective in what you say, to whom and how often.

In the world of couples therapy, involving others in your marital problems is what we call turning to “thirds.” It’s when you choose to talk to another about your relationship woes instead of your significant other.

Why is this an issue?

Well, for starters, it creates an immediate ripple effect. All of a sudden, you may have a one-sided jury of people who are rooting for you and will take your side no matter what (even if they shouldn’t). Your “jury” is hearing only one perspective of the issue and may align with you on partial evidence. They are likely to give you a level of confidence in the validity of your view that maybe you shouldn’t have.

Another dangerous aspect of turning to “thirds” is the clear conflict avoidance it displays. Whether from a lack of trust or one’s family of origin, some people are just more conflict-averse than others. However, avoidance never solves the most profound problems in a marriage and may exacerbate the issues.

Bringing your complaints to friends and family on a regular basis, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, can poison the well.

5. Support Your Partner in the Hard Times

Couples who have been married for decades have experienced many seasons of life together: births, graduations, deaths of family members, career moves and financial highs and lows.

With everything life can throw your way, it’s important to have someone by your side to hold your hand and share in the ups and downs.

Caring for yourself includes caring for your partner, knowing that their health and well being supports your own. However, if you have a partner who has not cared for you well, (or even become more of a burden than a benefit),  your trust in them may wane. Once the retirement years approach or age starts to take its toll, the stakes for marriage become even higher.

You don’t want to wind up wondering, "Wow, for the next 10, 15 or 20 years, I could be physically compromised. How well is my spouse going to support me through this time?”

The patterns of support you have experienced throughout your marriage will inform how you answer that question. Was your spouse there for you when you had a C-section or your shoulder operation? Were they there for you when you were laid-off from your job or lost your father unexpectedly?

If you have felt abandoned or neglected throughout your marriage, you will have an appreciable amount of trepidation concerning how much support you will receive as you age. And the same may go for your spouse.

One or both of you might be more inclined to say, “Life is short, and I have less of it left. I want to make the next 10 years count.”

This is especially true for if one spouse has worn the hat of caretaker throughout your marriage. They will likely experience burnout. So, if one or both of you are diagnosed with a chronic illness, it just might be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  

In old age, things don’t necessarily become easier. So, pay attention to how you support your spouse now and make every effort to acknowledge the ways you might have missed the mark in the past. This is a step to doing it better in the future.

A marriage that lasts decades requires a committed mindset. It asks each spouse to give equal regard to the others’ thoughts, opinions, and values. And, as you age, it will necessitate even deeper levels of trust and support.

If you and your spouse need a little help adapting to this new stage of your marriage or want to find new ways to approach conflict, our couples therapists have over 100 collective years of experience treating couples and spouses.

From the Gottman Method to Emotionally Focused Therapy, we apply science-based methodologies to our marriage therapy.

We offer weekly therapy and private, intensive 2-Day and 3-Day couples retreats as well as new extended hours and a growing team of couples therapists to meet increasing demand for expert, research-based couples therapy. as well as new extended hours and a growing team of couples therapists to meet increasing demand for expert, research-based couples therapy.

Like what you’ve read? Sign up to receive my musings filled with heart, concrete tools, and cutting edge resources via my blog: Loving Well.

[fandomoniumflurry]

She loves Fall

A/N: This is for Kari’s November Dean Quickie Challenge. I had no direction with this story, I just kind of let my fingers go and it just went wherever Dean wanted it to go. Its just a cute story about Dean watching you during your favorite season

Just over 3k words

Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings: Language and lots of cuteness and fluff

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Fall was more than just a season for you. It was the time of the year that truly brought you to life. Between the cool weather and changing leaves, you could just get pleasantly lost in the moment. You wear the cutest sweaters, always a different one every day. Sammy would  rake up piles of leaves just so the two of you could fall into them in a fit of laughter. You always made sure there was a pie in the oven or one cooling on the counter. Everything was pumpkin spice including our pancakes. You would drag me out in the dark and make me build a fire so you could sit on the old log curled up in a blanket and watch the crackling flames. You had convinced me to bring a table and some chairs out into the woods around the bunker so you could sit and read or draw. You love just enjoying the scenery and be amongst nature even if it was starting to get cold outside. It was this time of the year that I couldn't help but watch your every move. You'd never catch me staring but you had to have known but never said anything. You never turned me away when I sat by the fire with you, or watched as you sketched out a scene of the Impala against a fall backdrop. You'd share your pumpkin spice lattes and make sure I always had apple pie. As someone who doesn't really pay attention to the change of seasons or holidays and free time, since you came into my life, that had all changed so quickly.

The bunker always smelled like apples or pumpkins, a stark contrast to the smell of dirt and blood and old leather like me and Sammy were used to. Neither one of us were complaining. It was nice having a girl around. Even if you were a bit bubbly and too much of a morning person. But at least Sam had someone to take early morning jogs with and someone that liked those disgusting healthy shake shit too. I always thought you and Sam had a lot more in common than me and you did. You were a bookworm, a sensitive and compassionate soul, motherly and innocent. And being nearly a foot shorter than Sam, you fit so perfectly against him when I'd catch you in giggles watching a movie with him. When I'd walk in the two of you would always put some space between you but it wasn't like I didn't know what you two were doing. You guys weren't just two teenage girls discussing boys during a slumber party. I'd always just smile and roll my eyes at the two of you before walking back out after leaving you a box of popcorn that I had sprinkled with that pumpkin spice crap and a glass of milk.

You had always said that the bunker wasn't homey enough. It needed more personal touches which I guess meant it needed a woman's touch. You had agreed not to decorate for Halloween but you stated that thanksgiving and Christmas time was a different story. So as soon as the calendar turned over to November first, you flitted about the bunker making it look like you were bringing the outside in. Pumpkin pie candles, apple cinnamon potpourri, orange throw pillows and brown fleece blankets. Cornucopias full of leaves and pumpkins and other fall shit that I would never be able to understand the purpose of. Scarecrows and hay bales and even though we didn't have a fireplace, you always had the big screen tv turned on in the library with that virtual fireplace going. You made sure to get both me and Sammy sweaters and nice wool socks which I wanted to refuse but you had to give me those damn eyes. You'd make me wear them even if I looked like an idiot but you'd still say I was adorable. So I guess I didn't mind it too much.

I drew the line though when you started playing Christmas music. It was barely November, this was no time to be getting into the Christmas spirit. I always made fun of the douche bags and idiots that started playing Christmas music in the stores or in their cars before December 1st. Not that I particularly liked Christmas music, I was just adamant about not hearing it til it was actually Christmas time. But my mind changed when you had it blaring in the kitchen, shaking your ass to Jingle Bell Rock while you were busing baking all kinds of awesome smelling goodies and treats. I stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as I watched you, a stupid grin on my face. You were so happy bouncing about with flour on your face and blueberry stains on your apron. I wouldn't dream of telling you to shut off that damn music. I don't know if you ever saw me standing there but I made sure not to interrupt. It was Sammy's awful singing that caught your attention. The big idiot pushed past me and into the kitchen and the two of you sang along to some more dumb songs while he helped you clean up. Figured that was a good time for me to bow out.

You loved taking a drive with us during this time too. Your eyes would light up as the Impala rumbled along and all the trees would pass quickly. Their leaves were orange, red, or yellow and they would all have a pile of leaves at their base, squirrels and chipmunks hopping around happily through them. There would be a light drizzle and you would want to roll the windows down to smell the rain and how it made the ground and trees smell. You'd make me pull over sometimes so you could stand off in the trees. Water would begin to glisten in your hair and you'd just giggle and cuddle up into your sweater as you reached out a hand for me. I'd leave the Impala running and Zeppelin or REO or something would be playing and you'd just want to dance in the rain, slippery damp leaves and drying grass below your feet. I would laugh at you and act like it was the silliest thing in the world but you saw right through me and knew I'd dance with you. Until a car would drive by and I would laugh and head back toward Baby, informing you that you would catch a cold if we stayed out here too much longer. You'd always pout but run to the Impala anyway and I would have to turn up the heater to get you warm. You'd slap my arm and tell me I was mean for laughing at you but then you would scoot over and lay your head on my shoulder and wrap your arms around my free arm. It was moments like this that made me actually feel normal, feel like maybe you liked me back. Just maybe.

But then we would get home and you'd see Sam wearing a sweater you bought him or watching Wizard of Oz or something and you'd run to him, jumping on his back or wrapping your arms around his waist and I would be alone again, left pining over the little girl in love with Fall. Of course, Sammy couldn't be blamed, he didn't know how I felt about you. How could he? I'm not one to talk about feelings or open up about that shit. But if anyone would know, it would be Sam. He knew me better than I knew myself and that boy can read me like a book. So if he knew, he didn't say anything about it or he knew, he was just being a dick and trying to steal you from me, which Sam would never do on purpose, right? I don't know, I was starting to wonder. His eyes sparkled around you and you made his spirits lighter with your little autumn obsession so at least you made him happy. And who was I to get in the way of that.

Honestly, you had made both of our lives better since you came to live with us. Not just because you made the bunker warm and homey or that you made us homemade meals and pies. You were just a ray of sunshine in our darkest hour. You were always happy always so strong even through everything you had gone through in your life. You were stronger than the both of us and yet so soft and warm. We would never treat you like a fragile porcelain doll but we would both lay our lives down for you if we had to. You were more than just our friend, you were family. Even though it had only been a few months since you came to stay with us. It didn't take us long to adjust to having you around or accept you completely into our lives. Sure, I am still pretty reserved and rough around the edges but I find that I can open up a little easier to you. You are so patient and understanding. You never push me to open up or never question me when I'm grumpy or had a bad day. You just sit with me and talk or are there to listen when I do talk. You do the same for Sammy. I don't know where we'd be right now if we hadn't found you. You wouldn't have saved our lives if we didn't save your life just a few months ago.

It was still winter time then. You hate winter. You made it point to tell us that over and over again as we trudged through the snow with your tiny arm around my waist and my arm over your shoulders helping you walk. You wouldn't stop bitching about how cold it was, how the scenery looked so dead and dark. Even the sky looked cold as ice. You weren't exactly dressed for the winter weather either though. Your sweater was ripped and wet and your jeans were worn and thin. Sammy had thrown his jacket over your shoulders and that helped a little since the guy is a walking space heater. But it was me you clung to for warmth, it was me you had curled into when we got to the Impala, it was me you felt safe enough with to fall asleep on. I didn't even know your name then. And even though your socked feet were tucked behind Sam's back to get warm it was my hand you held to get your fingers warm. You didn't know me from Adam and yet you so fully put your trust in me to keep you safe, keep you warm. I think it was from that first moment that I knew I felt something for you.

It was more than just physical attraction even though you are one beautiful lady. There was just some instant connection when your eyes met mine the moment I stepped into that old barn where you were chained up. You had the nerve to smile at me, like you knew I was coming, like you expected me to walk in at just the right moment. You were wet and bloody and shivering and yet you were cracking jokes about how at least I was dressed for the winter weather, how you had left your coat with your other chains. And even though I was concerned for your safety and especially for your health, I couldn't help but smile. Your eyes sparkled and you said I had a nice smile which only seemed to make my smile grow. But the few shots I heard outside brought me out of our moment and remember that this was a hunt and you were the prey for some nasty sons of bitches. Sam came busting through the doors and helped me get you down from where you hung and we quickly bolted. I never like leaving before I gank the monster but getting you out of there was more important.

You were still asleep when we got to the motel. I carried you in and Sam looked over your injuries. He cleaned you up and I got you out of your wet clothes and into one of my t-shirts and sweatpants. I tried really hard not to let my eyes linger on your body as I got you dressed, trying to be a gentleman but it was hard when I saw the little orange and black bra and panty set you were wearing. Should have known then that you were into the fall season because they each had a little red orange leaf embroidered on them. Ok, so I looked closer than I should have. But it didn't get any better when you were enveloped by my clothes which were ten sizes to big for you. But you seemed to curl into them, a smile coming to your face as your eyes closed and you took a deep breath. I still didn't know your name but I tucked you in and waited at the end of the bed til you fell asleep. You muttered a soft 'thank you' before you drifted off.

The next morning both Sammy and I were awake before you. Sam stayed behind to keep an eye on you while I went out to get us breakfast. I had just come back with donuts and coffee but I didn't want to stay out too long just in case you woke up and saw that I wasn't there. When I walked in Sam was in the shower and you were sitting up in the bed with your arms wrapped around your knees leaning against the headboard. As soon as our eyes met, you smiled. "Hi." I said more timid than I had ever heard myself sound before. You gave me a little wave and a simple 'Hey' back. "I brought breakfast. I didn't know what you would like so..." I set a box of a dozen donuts of all different kinds and the drink caddy with three big foam cups of coffee, all black with loads of creamer and sugar packets piled in the empty hole of the caddy. You giggled softly and it made my attention turn back to you at the adorable sound and smile.

You gave me your name and came and sat down at the table across from me. It was a lot easier to start up a conversation with you than I thought. And by the time Sam stepped out of the bathroom, we were talking and laughing with a donuts in one hand and sipping from our coffee cups in the other. It was then that I learned how much you loved fall and how much you despised the season that followed it. You hated winter almost as much as you did summer. Fall was the perfect weather. Not too hot, not too cold. Things might not be green and growing but they weren't necessarily dead either, the colors making it seem even more lively than plain old green. After a while, Sam had joined us at the table with his own breakfast and own input into our conversation. It was easy to see that all three of us became fast friends. And when it came time to take you home and take care of the big bad, you informed us that the big bad was your home. The only person you had left in the world had been turned into a monster, your boyfriend being the one who beat and chained you up. You didn't try to defend him or anything, just said that he had changed, something happened one day and he came home a totally different person. You knew it wasn't him anymore and were not surprised when he turned on you.

You didn't seem sad or heartbroken like any normal person would. You just accepted it and kept moving forward. You never quite fighting, never let it get you down, never gave into the despair and grief. Sure, it hurt and you were sad but you knew there was better roads ahead and there was something better for you and this trial was just getting you prepared for it. So Sammy and I didn't even have to discuss it. We simply looked at each other and with a nod we said in unison. "You're coming home with us." You tried to refuse, telling us that you would be fine that you could take care of yourself and that you would move on. You didn't want to intrude or put us out. But Sammy and I both agreed that we weren't gonna let you say no. So after a while you finally conceded and that brings us here a few short months and three seasons later.

It was always weird to think back to what life was like before you. It seemed like such a dark and bleak time and when you showed up, you brought the light back, you brought our smiles back. And as I stand here, I can’t help but just stare and smile. You’re so beautiful in the lighting of the setting sun, a splash of oranges, reds, pinks and yellows lit up all around you. Your hair blowing lightly in the autumn breeze and your boots kicking in the drying leaves. You have such a wide smile on as you sing along to the song on the radio. It’s a song I don’t know but it’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard and instantly one of my favorites. I just watch in silence, my face split with an adoring smile. I just want to reach out and touch you, hold you, kiss you. I want to tell you what you mean to me, tell you how I feel. But I remain silent and just watch, taking in the beginning of the best few weeks of my life. You love fall. And I love you.

[closemyeyesforgood]

Growing up.

When I was very little, I don't have any particularly bad memories, other than being beaten up by my brothers (not badly, just maybe a bit rougher than necessary), or dad screaming so loud we had to cover our ears. I was attacked by a few dogs, a few cats, snakes, turtles etc. Regular life stuff for a 90's kid I guess.

When I was about 4, my mother's mother would take me every weekday. She must have hated kids because she would confine me to the living room with her cigarette rollers and that was what I was allowed to play with. I wasn't allowed to speak or come into the kitchen where she was, because she was smoking. She was always mean and short with me, and passed away when I was 7. My grandfather on that side passed shortly after, I remember him being nice, but I don't remember him being around much.

At this point I had already nearly died of a drug overdose on my mother's medication, almost drown at a horse show, and nearly suffocated during an athsma attack. My babysitter had thrown me down the stairs so I would "understand why it was so dangerous". And we also had a housefire, which the local fire department didn't believe, so we had to call the next town over. All before I turned 5.

So I start school. People are alright, I'm still assuming people are nice until they decide to be mean, silly me. I was a cute kid, but unfortunately it only brought me trouble. Girls wanted nothing more than to claw my skin and pull my hair. Boys only wanted to pick on me, push me into the mud, and throw rocks at me. It was hard to make friends, but I never stopped trying.

I did end up with a group of friends eventually, my best friends were these two girls, and we had 3 others that would also join us. One of these girls unfortunately had a much rougher home life than me and was pretty fucked up. Her Mom and my mom were best friends, and I would see them almost every day.

I've never felt closer to someone than I did to this girl. Unfortunately that is how people can make you feel when they want to use you. And yes even at such a young age, kids know how to use eachother. She manipulated me into doing things for her, stealing things, breaking things, saying things, etc.

Then she moved away, but I would still visit here and there, though I started becoming my own person again.

When I was about 8, my brother decided to go to the pond to catch frogs. I of course wanted to go. He said if I can find a jar to put the frogs in, I could come too. He left while I was looking for it of course. I grabbed a huge glass Mason jar to put the frogs in then jumped on my bike and tore towards the pond. I saw a car coming so I waited, but then when they passed I booked it across the street, not realizing cars come from both directions. I got hit. He was going 80 in a 50. I went in the air, did a flip, and landed right on my ass. Not a fucking scratch, glass jar unbroken.

It was a miracle honestly, if I had landed any other way, there was a chance I would have broken something or got that jar lodged into an organ or some shit. This was not long after my 8th birthday.

That same year, I found out my spine was twisted and I would need to wear a back brace indefinitely. That really helped me make friends, I thought they were going to bully me to death.

When I was 9, things got very different. My alcoholic, abusive father started beating me. He only beat my brothers, and my mom before, but I started annoying him with my "stupid questions" and crying.

He didn't do it often, because each time my mother would threaten to leave, but it took a lot of effort for him to stop. He switched from slapping to squeezing in hopes it wouldn't be as "bad". He was already very verbally abusive, and was essentially a tyrant with all of us. If we ever did something wrong, even by a little bit, the rest of the day would be filled with screaming and beratement. This encouraged our mom to have lots of people over all the time, because he was always a jolly guy when people were over.

When I told my teacher she said "it's not nice to tell lies" and very firmly gripped my arm and made me sit in detention. A week later CPS was called because my friends mom gave me his hand me down snowsuit. They assumed my mother was neglecting me, since I didn't have my own snowsuit. But my dad beating me? Ridiculous.

This teacher was horrible, would single me out in class, and encourage other students to pick on me and be abusive because I "needed to learn to have fun like the rest of the kids".

This same teacher would condone sexual assault from the boys in my class, and ripping my hair out and cutting me from the girls. She thought it was annoying that I "didn't appreciate the attention" and complained about "every little thing" and would often bruise me with pinching or squeezing my arm. She was horrible, and I don't know why she was like this. But I'll never forget the bitch.

So I'm 10 now. I've punched and kicked enough of the boys they stopped lifting up my skirt and grabbing my chest and ass. Threatening them with a knife might have helped too, who knows, I kind of took matters in my own hands when the teachers wouldn't listen.

This year, my best friend also moved back into town, so I felt like I had someone again. My other friends had already started joining the other kids in picking on me and hurting me physically. But this girl was always interested in only me. Maybe because she really did love me, or because I was easily manipulated. Maybe both. But either way I wasn't alone anymore, and I was so happy she was back. I did anything and everything for her.

This was also the year my dad met another woman. He was always a dog, but I never saw him LITERALLY turn into a puppy for someone. He moved her in, started an affair. We all had to cater to her and her son, or dad would lose his fucking mind.

Our Christmas and Easter were written off because he spent all of his money on this woman, and her son. Even paying for a portion of her trip out west where she was moving to, to be with her fiance.

My mom was completely fed up and told Dad he needed to leave. So over the next several months he basically just drank and screamed and packed his things. At this time mom also met someone. A man who moved into an apartment next door. They fell inlove immediately, and there I was, without my mom or my dad, and my brothers never wanted anything to do with me.

My mom, fearing for my safety due to my dad being super angry about moving out, started taking me to that friends place for several nights a week. At first it was amazing. All this time with my best friend, sleepovers, makeup, ghost stories, witchy stuff, you name it. It was awesome.

But then things began to turn. I knew about homosexuality, but not much, and honestly didn't realise you could know so young. But she then started being very affectionate, more and more, holding hands, cuddling, kissing... She then started becoming sexually abusive with me. I didn't like it, I hated it. I became afraid of her, but also dependant on her to feel safe or loved. She would mentally abuse me so I would do what she wanted, and at such a young age I really just didn't know how to process it or defend myself. She told me if I told anyone, her dad would murder us both, I believed her, her dad was way worse than mine.

This went on for a few months, and one day we ended up watching porn. Hey older siblings were watching and got us to watch too. She had already seen it a bunch apparently. The problem was this have her ideas, and she decided to get her brother involved. This went on for another few months until my dad moved out and my mom had a fight with my friends parents because of something that I can't recall.

It is unfortunate that this happened to me, but it happened and I'm still here. It didn't really hit me until a year or so later when I was into Junior high.

So I'm 11 now. I've been told I need to have spinal surgery before my 12th birthday. There is a 5% chance I will become paralyzed from the waist down. So my mom is terrified naturally. They say I need a blood donor, my dad is in Alberta, and my brother is kicking up a fuss about having to be on standby in case I need blood. He was hoping he could hang with his friends instead.

My mom's new boyfriend moves in. With his rules and restrictions on me and my mom. He became the new tyrant. He wasn't an alcoholic, he want physically abusive. But he was controlling and definitely was generous with the drugs and alcohol.

I have a few months to go before the big day. But those months have a lot of appointments. I missed a lot of school, but always got my work done. I was very vocal, and contrary with the teacher we had, because she was almost an exact repeat of the previous teacher I mentioned. Only she was all about verbal abuse, not physical. Singling me out. Making an example of me, making fun of me, encouraging other students to do the same. I called everyone out on everything but it was futile. I didn't know gaslighting and invalidation were things yet, so I eventually just believed them. Again thinking people were nice and honest unless they had a good reason not to be, I just eventually figured I deserved it.

I made a close friend, coincidentally with the same name as my previous friend. Turns out they were very similar, they saw they could manipulate and use me. And they very much did so. I became dependant on her. My mom was virtually ignoring me at this point because she had a new man to give all of her attention to, so naturally I was feeling alone and unloved yet again.

This friend manipulated me into doing many things for her and being a part in many schemes that I was ignorant to. I opened up to her a lot about my life because I thought she cared, but she just needed it as ammunition to keep control over me. I was hooked and we stayed friends for many years. More about that later.

So I have my surgery. I have to learn to walk again, and I didn't end up needing a transfusion, so a big huge win. Not paralyzed, no more back brace, didn't lose any blood, feeling like a rock star. Got drives to school and people to carry my books every day for to weeks was pretty awesome too. Until it wasn't.

My teacher immediately began berating me, telling me I would never amount to anything. Because I missed time for my surgery, I was definitely going to fail. Depending on others to carry my books was weak and pathetic. I was stupid, worthless, a waste of space. It was like her and my mom's boyfriend were exchanging notes or something. She was wretched, and was even more angry when the school asked me to present a donation to the hospital that did my surgery. She thought that was ridiculous and would "go to my head".

Finally the year was over, and I could go and be with my grandmother on my father's side all summer. Normally I would only be there for a few weeks, but she saw what life was like for me at home and wanted me to be with her all summer. If it wasn't for those Summers, I don't think I would have been able to handle all of this alone.

So I'm 12 now. Started my period, going through puberty, living on poverty, still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to act. Good behaviour breeds hate and jealousy, bad behaviour breeds punishment and cruelty. It was confusing. But my teacher this time was one of the kindest people I've ever met.

Over the summer my mom and her boyfriend got pretty comfortable with a house that didn't have a young girl living in it. So they had a lot of his friends over. He was a "retired" gangster, so I'm sure you can guess what kind of friends he had over all the time. There was alcohol and drugs around constantly. People fighting, people fucking, injecting heroin, snoring cocaine, blowing smoke in every direction including my face. The only person who ever said shit about it was one of my brothers, and my stepdad would just reward him in ways that would make him "forget about it and have fun with us" because he was a boy. I wasn't really a person, neither was mom, we were women.

I would come to school traumatized from witnessing people having sex on our kitchen table, or putting needless in their veins, and not sleeping because they blasted music until 4am so loud I couldn't hear myself scream. Also all the men I would find passed out, outside my bedroom door... The first few times I didn't have a lock, but someone would always catch them before they got under the covers. One of them was too drink to get passed to doorway and I woke up to them passed out with their pants down right beside my bed.

When things started to settle down and my mom's boyfriend started seeing me as a human being, he started to get protective. Which was better than before, but still wasn't ideal. I still feared him, and became powerless, afraid, alone. I didn't have any positive attention in my life, and him becoming protective was both good and bad. More rules, more restrictions.

One day, a man came to visit with his girlfriend. I was practicing on my grandmother's keyboard, and he came in to see me. Sat beside me and asked me to play him another song. So I did. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. Telling me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and he wants me to come over and play the piano for him this weekend.

Excited for this kindness, I said "of course!" Since they only lived a few doors down. I was used to adults telling me I was beautiful, and asking me to play the keyboard, so I guess this didn't alarm any bells for me. My stepdad came in, asked the man to step outside, and for me to go to my room. I heard yelling and then them leaving shortly after.

I found out later that he got his ass fucking beat. As did all the men who tried to come into my room. This 45 year old man, in front of his girlfriend, my mother, and my now stepdad, was clearly trying to lure me into his house so he could take me. His girlfriend was the first to point this out, so she knew he was a predator, and let him come into our house anyways.

I had no idea what was happening, thought he was just being really nice. People enjoyed hearing me play, so it wasn't an odd request for me.

So time goes on, life at home is still pretty horrible for me. Either alone and starving and freezing, or in a house full of drive out people partying to club level volumes of music. But school isn't so bad.

I'm 13 now. Excited to be a teenager. My mom gets me a pretty gold ring, and a purse with money in it. Biggest gift I've gotten since I was 4 when I got a tricycle. Mom still had moments of love with me, but they weren't often anymore, because her attention was monopolised.

I made another really close friend who was a genuine person, and I still miss her, but she has become a stranger after all these years. She didn't understand my struggles, but she made life bearable, and she helped me feel wanted. Her family happily took me in every weekend, as I would cook, clean, and help babysit her younger siblings.

We hung out a lot. And I was even allowed to have her over at my place... Once. She screamed really loud when she came to visit because she saw a mouse

[wknc881]

Top 5 Class Rock Bands 

  I get it, it’s exhausting listening to the most cutting edge music 24/7 on two simultaneously spinning student-run radio stations.  Sometimes you just gotta throw on some 100.7 and let your brain mush take in the vibes of a land long gone to the passage of time. But we can’t forget that these bands and musicians are our forefathers, and that they deserve the utmost respect from the new guard of…ahem…coolness.  For this reason we’ll be going back in time today to take a look at the most essential bands that ever existed and fully analyzing what about them made their impact so durable.  

5. The Rolling Stones 

Formed in 1945 by best friends Mike Jagger and Keith Richmond, the Rolling Stones became a virtual overnight success due to being an anomalous sexy band from England.  Their 1984 single “Miss You” put the band on the map with its sexy combination of sexy guitar, sexy vocals, and sexy drums. Around this time Mike, who had reached an emotional pitfall due to his drug use, underwent a special therapy where all of his blood was replaced with more sexy blood.  Following the procedure, Mike’s sexy levels were so high that the United States government (still being led by President Richard Nixon) barred the Rolling Stones from entering the country. To combat the low album sales that naturally follow being left out of the American music market, Mike Jagger and Keith Richmond went undercover in the CIA for over thirty years to destroy the system from the inside, accidentally setting forth a series of convoluted events which ultimately led to Donald Trump being elected president.  To retaliate, the CIA was ordered to murder one of Mike’s closest friends: David Bowie, which was then framed to look like illness. In an unprecedented deal with the U.S. Department of Justice, the Rolling Stones were spared capital punishment on the condition that they tour forever until they die. 

  4. The Beach Boys 

Oh boy, where to even start with the Beach Boys.  Well to begin with a little fun fact that few people know, the band’s name is actually derived from the surname of all of its members: Bechbou.  Emigrating from Germany in 1890, the Bechbou clan first established itself in Des Moines, Iowa as a circus act consisting of 15 identical children singing the same note so loudly that they would begin to hover six inches above the ground.  This was not a good idea. Frightened Iowans exiled the Bechbous from Des Moines and the family had no choice but to wander the Midwest until they reached a promised golden paradise: California. By no means was the trek easy. Though in 1932 the Bechbous had reached Los Angeles, half of the children had died by means of natural disaster or cannibalism.  Now a disgraced, broken clan, each of the Bechbou boys had ten more identical boys who they subsequently trained to be even better circus performers as themselves. Twenty died during the brutally strict singing regiment. Still, this left 50 members, most notable among them being Huey, Louis, Dewey, and Charles Manson. Renaming themselves to the more anglican “Beach Boys” the band erupted in the West Coast American rock scene after the release of their 1975 album “Rumors”.  However, their bitter rival, the Beatles, figured out that, due to the band’s insane musical training for their entire childhood, they could be activated as super soldiers if the right song was played for them. Needless to say, 1980’s “Helter Skelter” ripped the band apart. Charles Manson was the first to be activated, turning into a high powered psychopath while Huey, the band’s leader, went bananas. 

3. The Beatles

Possibly the most famous band of all time, the Beatles were formed in 1989 by spirit brothers John Legend and Rob McDonald.  Both being from recently divorced parents, the duo began their career with busking on the streets of their hometown: Seattle.  In a time where Michael Jackson was ruling the Billboard Hot 100 with a bedazzled fist, the Beatles were dead set on dismantling popular music in its entirety.  At first, the King of Pop didn’t pay much attention to Legend and McDonald. However, as spray-starched hair began to fall out of fashion with a youth obsessed with being disaffected, the freshly-born MTV recognized extreme potential in Lennon and McCartneys supremely unkempt chic.  After releasing 1991’s “Revolver” to critical acclaim, Legend grew noticeably distant from his musical partner. Walling himself in his Northwest fortress which he custom built to look like a medieval castle, he and his new wife, Joan Jett, notoriously indulged in month long benders while recording unlistenable noise soundscapes. In early 1993, at the pit of this illness and while the Beatles had taken an indefinite touring hiatus due to hysterical crowds, McDonald was forced to slap Legend several times in the face and subsequently bring about his sobriety.  With a full functioning creative engine again in place, the Beatles recorded their sophomore record “Under the Bridge” during the Fall of 1993 and began plans for a world tour the following year. Sadly, these plans were never actualized. In the Winter of 1994, Michael Jackson silently moonwalked into Legend’s ridiculous cartoon castle house while he was sleeping and bludgeoned him to death in his sleep. Though McDonald continued on to a profoundly successful solo career which still thrives today, the story of The Beatles is one which undoubtedly ends in tragedy.

  2. AC/DC

  We all know AC/DC as the vessel by which rock and roll most quickly enters our bloodstream.  But what I bet you didn’t know is that AC/DC is actually just five dogs sloppily dressed up as people. 

  1. The Beatles Again

I’m so sorry.  I forgot to mention Sgt. Peppers.  When I first heard Sgt. Peppers, I punched my own mother in the face because I didn’t know how to react.  The minute the soundwaves emanating from “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” stroked my face the spongy material in my brain signaled me to go full force berserk mode.  I ripped through my shirt and first two layers of epidermis, I drove my car into a wall, I burned off my own foot with a flamethrower because it was the best music I had ever heard in my life.  As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I was struck by maddening inspiration. Formulas, formulas, formulas, and Bam! I had invented the time machine. I traveled back to the days of Mozart and sliced his head off with a machete.  How dare he try and remove the crown of best musician from atop the collective mop-topped heads of the Beatles. This man has never come close to writing the majesty that is and was “A Day in the Life” and he should be ashamed to ever even venture into the territory of musicianship. I will call the police on any person who does not get the album cover of “Sgt. Peppers” tattooed on their chest. 

[savagegardenforever]

Darren's Diaries

These are Darren's Diaries from the first tour (Future of Earthly Delites/To the Moon And Back) from 1998.

There are six entries - 4th July, 7th July, 12th July, 20th July, 15th August and 8th September.

4th July

   Well here I am sitting on a tour bus. It's a twelve    sleeper and there are 8 of us...Daniel and I...our band...and our tour manager. We have    completed over 50 shows since the start of this tour in Australia in January. Finally we    are in America. For the next two months we will be playing 40 shows in the States and    Canada. It is going to be an incredible experience. Exciting and Exhausting I'm sure.

So far we started production rehearsals in Rockford Illinois. Our first show    was in Chicago for the B96 radio show with Boyz to Men and Mariah Carey. Minneapolis was    next. We then travelled into Canada for two incredible shows in Saskatoon then Edmonton.    As I type this we are headed for Calgury. The Canadian audiences have been really cool.    Very into the music and very LOUD!!

Our band are playing really well together. I am very proud to be on    the stage with them every night. We have Anna Maria Laspina and Nicole McIntyre on backing    vocals. Karl Lewis on Drums. Ben Carey on Guitars and Lee Novak on Bass. I have included    some pictures of us during hot and sweaty production rehearsals. You'll also find the new    stage clothes provided by Diesel and on my fave pics ever...Me with fans after the    Minneapolis gig.

Sharing a tour bus together is kinda strange. It's    like...HUGE...with two loungerooms with tables and videos and soundsystems etc...then    there is a little kitchen where we all make cups of tea and sandwhiches after gigs. It's    almost like the Brady Bunch on Tour. Our beds have little T.V's in them and little    curtains to block out the rabble. It's actually a lot more comfortable than I thought it    would be. Let me get back to you on that in a few weeks though!

7th July  

 So now I'm on my way from Seattle to    Portland. Still on the bus...I swear it's like the Partridge Family. I took a little    family shot to demonstrate how pathetic and domesticated we have all become. Andy our bus    driver is very cool...he makes me vegetarian meals sometimes... and puts up with our table    manners.

The Vancouver show was probably one of the tightest    shows we have played ever...good crowd...and we were really on it. It's so funny...I just    read a report from Edmontone where the reviewer thought that maybe I lip synch my vocals    because...in his words..."Hayes hits some unnaturally high notes.."!!!    I think that is so ironic. I mean...I have good nights...and bad nights. Sometimes I sing    up a storm...and other nights it's not quite what I want it to be. To have someone think    it's all on tape is kind of an indirect compliment. I guess it means I sang well!! I'll    tell you...last night in Seattle...I was WISHING my vocals were on tape...I was so tired.    But the crowd seemed to get into it and by half way through I was in my own little world.

Playing live is definately something we are proud of. I personally    have a big problem with 'artists' who mime...or lip synch...or whatever you wanna call it.    I believe that seeing a band live is warts and all. If I hit a bum note...then so be    it...that is what you pay for. If I hit a brilliant note...then that's fantastic. That's    what makes some nights INCREDIBLE...and others not so. You never know. Also I figure if    you want to listen to the cd...stay home. Coming out to see a band live is all about    living in the moment.

So after the Portland show we get a much needed day off...before we    start the San Fransisco, L.A , Vegas leg. Viva Las Vegas Baby.

Outta here...

12th July

       Before anything happens I gotta tell you that playing    in Red Rocks...Colorado was the most incredible experience for me. The setting was like    something from heaven..the weather was incredible. It actually rained the entire show but    the 7000 plus crowd stayed to the end... It was so magical. The thunder and lightning in    that historical venue...and the crowd. It made me very emotional.

I kept thinking of U2's "Under a blood red sky" live    album...recorded there. It was just the same as it looked all those years ago when I sat    in my lounge room watching the video...looking at my heros. To play there...was a VERY big    deal for me.

I'm in San Antonio Texas writing this...in my hotel room. Just came    back from a fantastic show here. What a cool crowd. I really dig this town. It looks    NOTHING like the rest of Texas... Last night we went out and had fantastic Mexican food    and drank Starbucks while walking along the riverbank in the middle of the city...with all    cafe's and restaurants along the river edge. It was incredible...the night was windy and    the temperature was not as hot as it apparently has been. I thought in this email I would    include some more personal photos of the band and our crew...There is this beautiful man    from Texas called Chuck...who has been married for 25 years. Chuck is a sound/monitor    engineer on our tour. His daughter Victoria has these adorable little twins Joseph and    Jacob...so I managed to get a cuddle of the babies before our show in San Antonio tonite.    Boy did I get clucky. It was Nicole's birthday today...it's Daniel's on Wednesday...so we    have kind of been celebrating for a few days now. Nicole and Anna (our backing singers)    are dear friends of mine...and we have a blast.

We get along really well with Sneaky Pete...the production    assistant. He is evil...in the funniest way. His assistant Laurie is THE BIGGEST    SWEETHEART. I included a picture of me hugging her because she is my lifeline.

She is in charge of all sorts of things...but for me..her main job    is making sure the dressing rooms are set up...wardrobe and costumes are set out and    laundered...candles are lit...music is playing...holdiays are booked and roses sent to    family members. Basically she is my mom on the road...and she is incredible. Her attention    to detail makes coming into the dressing room such a pleasure..everything from my after    shave to the kind of tea I drink...she is aware of..and makes sure it is all in order.

I also included a picture of Daniel playing with his new Keyboard    backstage with Lindsay...one of our other fave people. Linds is a guitar tech on this    tour...but really he is an awesome drummer...who last worked with Pearl Jam doing drum    tech for them. Just the sweetest person.

Who else can I tell you about?? Motley our lighting designer is a    little yoda...he is so spiritual and deep..and a dear friend. Collin Ellis mixes our    sound...and is a very nice bloke!!

Crash...our sound engineer on stage..(does in ear monitors...) told    me tonite that the reason I get soo tired is that I need to 'take more exercise.'    Hahaha... I work out 5 or 6 days a week...two hours a day...as well as doing the show!!    The entire band just cracked up laughing at him. Oh well...he was only trying to help. He    is very funny...and oh..also good at his job.

I am getting excited because we are about to have three days off!!    Whoo hoo!! I mean...I love the tour...but I have been working on this album for 2 and a    half years...and touring it since January. We are all very tired...and looking forward to    the rest. When we start up again we will be HALF WAY... That is pretty cool.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I was dreaming up the name...the front cover and the artwork for our new album. All we need now is the music!! Haha...

I am rambling...but it's late...and life is really good. God bless.

Darren

20th July

           Hey...welcome back to the tour. We have missed you. Let    me take you now to a very sacred place. This is my bed in the tour bus. I call it my    'monkey bunk'...don't ask me why...it's kinda private...! But that's what I call it...    Actually I have become quite fond of it. To the point that I am finding it hard to sleep    in regular beds now. I am used to the constant rocking of the highway. There is a little    T.V in there...but I rarely watch it. By the time my head hits the pillow...I am out! It    is actually very soothing...and I am someone who finds sleeping very difficult.

We have had a ball on tour with our new support...Billy Myers.

Billy Myers is just FANTASTIC. She is very talented...as are her    band. Billy is also VERY VERY funny. Here is a picture of her and I in my dressing room    about two seconds before our show in Miami. This was the day of our manager...Rebecca's    birthday. We got her all sorts of nice presents and this huge cake. Here is a picture of    my face in the cake.

Long Story! I am commonly known as 'tabu' in the band because I kind    of...well...I just take things to the extreme in terms of practical jokes and goofing about. Usually with birthday cakes I end of throwing them all over people...and sticking them to walls etc. You know...normal things like that. So this time the band got me  first...Laurie..our production GODDESS pushed my face into it when I was PRETENDING to  take a big bite. GRRRR!! Florida was hot and steamy...and reminded me very much of  Australia. Played some great shows...although something really stupid happened in Fort Lauderdale. For some bizarre reason..security allowed five audience members to run onto the stage during Truly Madly Deeply. But I don't mean just running up to say hello. They kind of scared the hell out of all of us...and ruined a beautiful moment in the song. We virtually didn't end the show...because they just wouldn't leave the stage. So we all learned a valuable lesson in security. I had my eyes closed as I sang the last notes of the last song of the night...and felt the stair case rumble...and when I looked up there  were three people on the stage with me. It just made no sense to me...I tried to talk to the girl...even say hi...but she was screaming...while her boyfriend spent his time  telling aggressively informing anyone who would listen that he had every right to be there    on stage because he won an after show pass.!!! THIS WAS DURING THE SHOW!!! I look back now  and kinda laugh it off but in the moment...I really felt that the incident ruined to mood    for the rest of the audience. I didn't really get to say goodbye to the crowd...we just    had to leave.

I spent my few days off in New York while the rest of the band  travelled to Myrtle Beach and apparently had a blast. I keep missing the really good    unexpected fun times. Apparently the break in New Orleans was wild as well. There will be news about this in the next fanzine I believe.

Delaware...Harrington was such a bizarre experience. We played at    the State Fair. This was a 4 hour drive from New York...in the middle of nowhere... A    great show with a really enthusiastic audience. Afterwards we went to the local TGI    Friday's restaurant and everyone who had a cell phone was informed that the band were    there...so we spent our evening binge eating while locals watched in horror. Our visit to    the local bowling alley was hilarious. I of course...the king of cool (really just a cover    for my lack of physical ability in sports) refused to play. For 'fashion reasons' I said.    But I don't think anyone believed me. I took a photo of their shoes.

Daniel refused to let me photograph his involvement in this    activity...but let's just say...at bowling...HE RULES. He beat the pants off everyone.

Here is my reaction to bowling... my thrilled to be bowling face.

And this is really what we have been reduced to. Bowling. Oh    yeah...we also play pictionary a lot. All jokes aside...we have had such a wonderful time    so far...it's already August ...and the tour has only 4 weeks to go. I think we are all    going to be very sad when it ends. We have just spent so much time together...we really do    feel like family.

We have met so many wonderful fans...been treated like royalty and  we want to thank you so much for coming out to see us play live. More soon I guess!

15th August

       I am once again sitting at the desk in the kitchen of    our tour bus. We are travelling from Missouri to Illinois. Can you believe that we have    performed 30 shows already on the North American leg of this tour? We have only 9 more    shows left and then the tour is officially over. We started in Australia in January...then on to New Zealand...Asia... Including Japan and India...Europe...and finally America. I  think when it winds up we will have played almost 80 shows. That's a pretty good feeling you know...I had no idea I would have the stamina to get through...and yet here we are looking at the end of the tour...and really the end of this album.

Here are a couple of shots from our show tonight in Missouri.  It's such a long way from where it all started.

It's funny you know... with this site I have tried really hard to    document all sorts of experiences...and not just the musical ones. Yesterday in    Indianapolis I decided that real life was just a little too normal...so I invented a drama    so that I could write about it...and photograph it...and present it to you...(How sad is    that!!)

To cut a long story short... Nicky and I decided to 'steal' a golf cart from the Indianapolis state fair officials. Well...we didn't really 'steal' it..we  kinda just borrowed it and deceived a few people into thinking that our backstage passes  were really licenses to drive a golf buggy. Here is a picture of our initial Evil plan...

It was so funny. Our crew and the security at the venue didn't know    what was happening. I actually took the buggy INTO the arena...where all the fans were    taking their seats for Billie Myers (BY THE WAY..BIG APOLOGY FOR SPELLING HER NAME WRONG    LAST UPDATE...!!!) So anyway...Nikky and I were spinning and flying around the    arena...some of the audience recognized me and started chasing the golf buggy. Although    fun...golf carts are NOT good escape vehicles. I managed to get away by fooling the    security guard that 'everything was in order'.

The cart was returned with lots of apologies and no feelings hurt.

Lots has happened since I last wrote. I never really told you about  the band's new obsession with Golf did I?? It kind of stems from Dan...but everyone...excluding me...has been getting into it. Anna and I generally work out...like A    LOT...which can be exhausting when on tour because you sweat so much on stage as    well...but it has been an adventure just trying to find gyms in every town we go to... But    we have been pretty successful so far.

Today I went crazy recording items in our dressing room. Don't ask    me why...but here are snapshots of shoes...and sunglasses. Lets face it...in Savage    Garden...these are very important elements of our success...(joke!!)

It's weird...I just figured I would have LOVED to have seen stupid    photos of Michael Jackson's wardrobe when I was like...a kid...so I figured...for those of    you out there who enjoy the small details... this is for you.

We really have had such fun with Billie Myers. Her band are very    talented...and friendly. Billie herself is incredible. Such an artist. I watched her    performing 'Tell Me' and 'Kiss the Rain' yesterday in Indianapolis and I was very moved.    She ran all over the stage...climbed EVERYTHING...and ended up at the back of the    auditorium with the audience...still singing. I will be very sad to say goodbye because I    have learned a lot just being around her. Beautiful soul. True performer.

Here is another pic of Billie and I just before the Missouri show.

Our shows have been wonderful lately. The crowds have just been    getting better and better. Some of the small towns have been incredible experiences. We    played a HUGE show in Bethlehem P.A. It was part of their MusikFest festival...and it was    one of the largest shows they have had there. Truly magical.

Soon we head to New York...(DUH...my fave city) for a few days as we    are involved in a private SECRET event that will be revealed to you in due time. But I am    very much looking forward to being there...

I will keep you updated.

Darren

8th September

It's over. 8 months and 85 shows later here we are    on a plane back to real life. I am so exhausted as I type this...and really unsure as to    how it all feels. I am going to go back for you...a few weeks to catch up on everything    that lead up to this final moment of reflection. I remember telling you in my last update    that we were in New York for a "secret" gig...well I can tell you now it was for    the Elite Modelling agency Look competition...and we performed at this club in Manhattan    called Life. It is one of those velvet rope deals...and to be honest...I had never been in    until that night.

We performed a very short set in front of a room full of beautiful    women..and famous people. Jerry Seinfeld was there... Apparently he offered to meet us    when we had sold 12 million albums as opposed to the 8 million that we actually    have. Haha. Thanks for the homework Mr. Seinfeld. Afterwards he hung out in the same foofy    area with us...smoking cigars, flanked by burly security guards. Anna said hi. I was too    busy working out how to sell 4 more million albums.

Our set was GREAT...some people say one of the best we have played    because of it's simplicity and audacity. We just PLAYED...didn't really give a damn...and    it paid off. We headed off ... back to the rest of the tour...but soon ended up back in    planet Manhattan (that's what Motley our lighting designer calls it...as it is like no    other place on earth) after our Boston gig (very pretty btw...nice venue) to play the    Beacon Theatre. What an experience THAT was.

Madonna attended. Rod Stewart was there with wife and kids. We were    sold out. Need I say there was a little tension in the air. But it turned out to be such a    powerful show...such an energy to it. Probably because of the whole Madonna vibe. Thing    is...Billie Myers had heard me singing "Ray of Light" at soundcheck...and told    Madonna and friends that we do it well. The day of our show we get a phone call from    executives asking where in our show it is performed as Madonna is possibly coming along to    have a look. Of course we freaked out...of course we immediately added it to our show even    though we have never performed it as a band!!

So Madonna did attend...and from all accounts...was standing and    grooving with the rest of them...and had a smile on her face... What more can you say?    Very VERY surreal moment...performing in front of someone who inspired me to be here. Did    someone say OH MY GOD???

So the next day was our end of tour party...even though we had two    more shows to do...where better to celebrate than NYC? It was in this place called Lot 61    in Chelsea...and we had a blast. It was actually very emotional and I think that is when    it really hit me that this was all coming to a close.

The next day we left for Cleveland...had a great show...and then    prepared for our last gig in Kentucky. All sorts of mad and weird stuff went on that day.    Last shows are traditionally weird anyway...as everyone feels kinda depressed but    exhausted and practical jokes are happening everywhere.

Some of the craziness?? Billie Myers appeared on stage during our    All Around Me routine on the shoulders of our road crew dressed in her best Scary Spice    outfit screaming SPICE UP YOUR LIFE. She then proceeded to spray us with Silly String    (that shaving cream gunk...) Very funny!! We almost couldn't do the song.

Members of our band were seen doing all sorts of weird things...like    kissing each other...wearing each other's costumes...and hamming it up. We managed to drag    every crew member on stage or under a spotlight during the band intro...and someone    painted the words WE'LL MISS YOU on the drum riser.

During the encore...we sang ONE OF US...and got a bit choked up as I    dedicated it to Chuck...our sound assistant who's Grandchild is going in for an operation    soon. I asked the crowd to say a prayer for him and that's when it really hit me that the    tour was over. Not just the tour either...but this album...this stage of our lives. Like    graduating from High School this felt like a real ending...and the beginning of a future    somewhere out there.

After the show...we all ended up on Billie's bus...disco dancing and    acting like complete morons. Had a blast.

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to each and every    one of you...for giving us this incredible experience...for listening to the music...for    understanding it...for coming out in droves to see our circus when it came to your town.    This is a thank you to you...the fans of the music...and our colleagues...the Savage    Garden Band...and Crew...It has been the most humbling experience to have know you...I    feel like a better man for having been through this all with you.

This is a farewell of sorts...for a long time. We have to take some    much needed rest...get our thoughts together and try and remember what real life is about    for a little while. Before you know it...we will be in the studio...working on more magic.    Until then...we are going to go away until we have something thoughtful to say.

Thanks for the memories.    See you in THE FUTURE.....

Darren

[kpopfanfictrash]

Addewid

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Kai (Jongin)

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,726

Summary: “You cannot appeal to my better nature, for I have none. I am not human, little one.”

You’ve always known you were different. You’re able to see them, after all, able to see the Others. You’ve also always ignored them. Until the day comes where you’re forced to make a choice - one that throws your world into chaos. And sends you down a path you might never return from.

As we step into the forest, shadows wrap themselves around us like branches and my breath catches. The enormity of what I’ve done crashes over me and I find it hard to stand.

I’ve just sold myself to the Unseelie court.

There’s not much time to think about this though, as the land of nightmares swallows me whole.    

II - The Other

Only five steps into Faery, I know I’ve made a mistake.

For the first minute of walking it seems we’re still outside the bookstore. Still moving through clustered pines and familiar boughs. I’m not sure at what point this changes, just that one minute I look up and the mist is closer. The trees, darker. They grow in strange, twisted shapes to make my pulse race.

The leaves on one tree seem dipped in crimson. Emerald fades to scarlet at the tip, like a finger touched by poison. My eyes linger for only a moment before something else grabs my attention. Flowers so deep purple they’re almost black, shying away as we pass. Actually turning to mutter amongst themselves. I think I hear them whisper.

Suddenly I’m grateful for the fairy’s grip on my arm. It’s too tight, nearly suffocating but it’s the one thing that gives me a semblance of reality. Keeps me grounded amidst so much terror. The branches slide together and the creaky drip of water echoes past. Whether or not it’s actually raining is a mystery, since the trees overhead are too dense to see.

Staring up at them, I almost trip over a root. Nearly face plant before the hand on my arm yanks me straight again. “Pay attention,” Kai hisses.

Face burning, I look forward. I’m silent as we continue our forced march. The stranger doesn’t make a sound. His footsteps don’t echo, nor do the branches crack beneath his feet. Me – I’m incorrigible. A virtual thunderstorm of sound. I never realized quite how loud I was until this moment.

Like my breathing – deafening. Even my strides are too large. I keep bumping into the strange fairy, his arms, his legs, his hip. Each step brings a new glare in my direction. One I quell from, wishing I knew how to step lighter.

The third time I trip seems to be the last straw.

With a low exhale, the Prince drags me to face him. “Must you attract the attention of every creature between here and the Unseelie?”

Instead of answering, I glance around. “Are we not in the Unseelie now?”

“No.” His eyes flicker.  “This is the Other – borderlands between the human world and Faery. Getting noticed in these woods would be a decidedly bad idea.”

Swallowing my fear, I look back down. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to get us noticed.”

“Then be quieter.”

“I can’t.” I glare back at him, jaw tight.  “The last time I tried to hike through the woods was – well, never,” I say, chancing a glance up at him. I’ve never really been the outdoorsy type. For good reason, apparently.

Prince Kai stares back at me. “Then we’ll have to move quickly.” 

Grabbing my arm, he takes off once more in the same direction we’ve been travelling. Though whether that’s north or south or east or west or up or down, I couldn’t say.

Do directions even exist in Faery? Would a map have that same, known compass in the upper right hand corner? Or would it be some entirely new direction I never knew existed. It seems fair to assume anything happening in Faery is completely detached from the human world. Starting with my immortal jailer.

My gaze glances sideways as we walk. Or rather, as he walks and I’m dragged alongside him. The tips of his fingers dig into my arm – though he leaves no mark. He’s beautiful, but like all things in Faery his beauty is designed for a purpose. A face so inhumanely perfect, it’s mesmerizing. He reminds me of those snakes which lure in their prey by pretty colors, subduing them to complacency right before they kill them.

In this scenario, Kai is the predator and I am the prey. His hair is silver, hanging casually above his dark, almond-shaped eyes. They scan the woods as we walk, his ever-watchfulness never lessening. The Prince’s body is tall, lean – muscled without being showy.

Though his skin is pale, it seems almost like pallor. As though he hasn’t been out in the sun in a long time. Beneath that dullness lies an almost golden sheen, like ice laid over amber.

“Why are you looking at me?”

My gaze snaps downwards. I didn’t realize he could see me – then again, I suppose I don’t really know how far his magic reaches. Or what this Prince can do.  

“I – no reason.” When his gaze meets mine, I repress a shudder. “I was thinking you must not go outside that often.”

A small furrow appears in his brow. “What?”

“I – nothing.” My lips press firmly together. “It’s unimportant.”

As the Prince opens his mouth, I notice the forest has grown quiet around us. Before there was the pitter-patter of raindrops, the slide of leaves, the whisper of flowers. Now there’s nothing.

It’s as I notice this that the Prince stills. His eyes drift sideways, scanning the newly quiet space. His body lowers into a crouch almost automatically, turning in a circle. He stops halfway to stare into a dark overhang between branches. The space he’s looking at is black as night, fading from twilight to midnight within footsteps.

“Get behind me,” Kai says, his voice low and urgent.

He doesn’t have to tell me twice. Hands trembling, I scramble to stand behind him. It’s then that it occurs to me I could run. Kai is facing away. There’s something in the forest to keep him preoccupied while I slip away, unnoticed.

Slowly, hesitantly I take a step backwards. 

Something rustles in the bushes. I take another step. And then another before it seems like the entire forest erupts. Something lunges into the clearing, powerful muscles tensing as it towers over Kai.

The thing growls – or maybe speaks. There’s a chilling combination of clicks as something slippery falls from its mouth to the ground.  Kai’s face remains immobile, though a flicker of a smile crosses his face. He draws his sword from within his sheath.

The thing moves first, not in a step but in a leap faster than the eye can see. My blood chills - Kai is going to die, he has to. There’s no way he can win against this great, towering thing which moves like lightning. A hole widens where it’s mouth should be, displaying dozens of razor sharp teeth. Two slits are its eyes, ruby red and narrow.

When the beast moves I realize that Kai is no longer there. There’s a sharp, sickening squelch of metal through flesh and the thing roars, lashing towards something I cannot see.

Kai darts suddenly from underneath, eyes ablaze and teeth bared. He looks wild – feral, even. It makes him even more breathtaking. The prince’s sword slashes, silver in the night. The beast roars as its dark, shadowy paw comes down faster than Kai can move. He dodges but is nicked in the shoulder.

The prince staggers before disappearing. I don’t see how or where – don’t stay long enough to find out. Instead, I turn and run. Run as though my life depends on it, because it does. The forest stumbles along with me, dark and looming on all sides. My breath is gasping, head spinning as I struggle to focus.

I know I’m making a lot of noise as my feet fly, arms pumping but I can’t help it. It’s as I run that a cold pit starts to form in my stomach. What if I can’t get out? What if I’ve actually been running in the wrong direction this entire time? Despite my worry, I continue on. Now that I’ve started, I don’t see another way out.

The undergrowth falls beneath my feet, screams of flowers serenading as I step on throats - and then another noise. My head snaps sideways with the realization that something else is crashing through the forest with me.

Large, lumbering, limber. Did I say that my stomach sank before? I didn’t mean it. That was nothing compared to now, nothing compared to the realization that of course that thing didn’t hunt alone. 

There’s a clearing ahead and I’m almost there when the thing leaps out at me. I skid to a stop, screaming as I stumble. From the ground, the thing is even more terrifying than before. Before there was Kai between us - before, it wasn’t focused on me.

Drool hangs from its jaw, unhinged as it sinks even closer to the ground. Its eyes are red, oddly coherent in their appraisal of me. It seems confused, as though unable to label me friend or foe. Its jaw keeps opening and closing, harsh, guttural noises coming from the back of its throat.

It’s form is indecipherable because it keeps on shifting. One second I think it’s similar to a bear. Then a giant. Then boulder. It’s always the same color though – a deep, pulsating, nightmarish black.

I’m frozen, flat on my butt where I’ve fallen. Just for a moment though, before my hands are scrambling – pushing me backwards, upwards. Looking for something to fight with. When my right hand close around a rock I swing it forward, chucking it at the beast without a second thought.

Wrong move.

My attack shakes the thing from confusion to identify me as a threat. With a blood-curdling shriek, the thing launches itself forward – only to shudder to a half as the hilt of a sword embeds itself in its chest.

Kai leaps into the clearing, sprinting towards the beast. The sword is his. He’s thrown it – normally a terrible idea – but effective, in this case. As he runs he yanks two daggers from his belt, brandishing in each hand to dart beneath the mass of animal.

The thing yowls, turning towards this new threat. Kai’s face is stone as he moves, slicing a vicious streak over the beast’s maw. The thing stumbles, dropping to what I think are its legs. Kai doesn’t hesitate, flipping onto the beast’s back. Stabbing both his daggers down and breaking its neck.

The thing shudders. Twitching for a moment before slowly falling to one side. It’s landing contains all the muffled grace of an earthquake. Kai jumps from its back to land lightly before me.

The clearing around us is silent.

Slowly, my hands uncurl from the earth. Eyes wide, breath coming in heavy waves as I meet the dark Prince’s gaze. His hair is askew, clothing slashed and there’s blood on his arm – I remember that he was wounded in his first fight. Kai’s eyes flicker, such anger present I physically recoil.

“You foolish girl,” he mutters.  

I clamp my jaw shut to bite down my retort.

The Prince takes a small step forward. “You are bound to me. This is Addewid, you cannot run. Where did you think you were going, even?” His eyes scan the forest. “This clearing is not fifty paces from where the first attack occurred. You ran in a circle.”

My eyes move around our surroundings. How is that possible?

Kai drops into a crouch before me, his voice like a caress. “You swore for the rest of your life that you would reside in Faery. A promise like that is not so easily broken. If you try to escape again, you’ll just end up by my side. Or worse.”

The weight of his statement settles over me. I can never escape. Never leave. I falter with the weight, for the first time realizing the full extent of what I’ve done. For the rest of my life I will be stuck with this cold, unfeeling stranger who looks at me like I’m dirt on his shoe. This thing that killed two beasts twenty times his size and is barely winded.

The Prince cocks his head at me. “Stand.”

I remain where I am. Seated, in the mud and muck. It seems a better option than going with such a horror.

This entire time Kai has been cleaning his knives and now that he’s finished, he tucks them away in his belt. His eyes narrow when he sees me still sitting there, grabbing at my wrists to pull me upwards. “I can carry you if I need to,” he warns. “It won’t be pleasant.”

“I’ll walk, thanks.”

“Good.”

I look up just in time to catch him wince, to see the way his hand brushes his shoulder. As he moves to tug his sword free from the animal’s chest, I notice he’s favoring one arm. The thing is hurt. Not that this means anything to me. With quick, practiced movements the Prince cleans his sword, sliding it back into its scabbard and turning to face me. His face is once more like stone and I wonder if I imagined his pain from earlier.

The forest has resumed normalcy – or whatever you could call normalcy in a shadowed, Faery forest. As we continue to walk, Kai doesn’t touch me. He insists on me walking slightly before him so he can keep an eye on me. The humiliation of this doesn’t escape me and I hold my head high as we walk, refusing to let being treated like this break me.

We walk for what seems like miles. Sometimes we stop for rest but always in short, measured periods. Ones where Kai sits stock-still and closes his eyes, and I don’t try to run. The string of his words still rests sharp on my consciousness.

So does the terror I felt when facing that dreaded beast. I know that, had Kai not intervened I would be dead. I don’t have the capability to survive in these woods. Its a small wonder that the Fey view us humans as beneath them. 

“Let’s go.”

I find Kai looking at me, eyes open and clear. The Prince rises noiselessly from his rock, nodding for me to do the same. We continue on, walking for hours, miles, until my eyes start to drift. They flutter against my cheeks as I stumble.

That’s when I notice my breath turning to mist. Fogging ahead into the cool, night air. It must be colder here - strange that I didn’t notice. I’m smiling when I turn to him. “It’s so pretty here,” I say.

There’s confusion in Kai’s dark eyes. Alarm, when he looks at my coat. Murmuring darkly, Kai scans the horizon. “We’re still an hour or so out,” he says, gaze returning to mine.

I shrug, raising my hand to the nearest ice covered branch. “Pretty,” I murmur. 

Though my fingertips slide against the bough, all I note is texture. The temperature feels about the same as I am.

Kai says something which sounds distinctly like a swear, though I don’t recognize it. 

I frown. “That didn’t sound nice.”

“It wasn’t.” Ignoring my noise of protest, Kai bends suddenly to heave me over his shoulders. Sliding his body beneath mine to lift. I shudder at his touch, curling away from the ice of his skin.

“Let go of me,” I protest – though feebly.

“No.”

Then he begins to run. My forehead sags awkwardly before I’m adjusted into a more manageable position. The forest flies by in a blur of greens and grey and white. I realize how slowly Kai has been traveling because of me. I only think about this fleetingly though, as the thought comes and goes before I can grasp any sort of meaning.

My eyes begin to drift shut.

“Don’t sleep,” Kai says, his voice low. “You can’t fall asleep.”

Frowning, I stare at the back of his neck. “Why not, Prince Kai?”

“Because I won’t allow it.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, you don’t own me.”

“Ah, don’t I?”

The thought makes me pause. “No.”

“But you made me a promise,” he says, and to my ears it sounds like he’s smiling. But that’s ridiculous – Prince Kai would never smile. 

“I made a promise to stay with you,” I mutter. “Not cater to your every whim and fancy.” 

The body beneath mine shakes and I realize it’s because he’s laughing. The immortal Prince Kai is laughing.

“That would have been a far more interesting promise.”

Before I can respond, the world slows around us. Solidifying into a discernable landscape of grey and white. There’s a house – although maybe I wouldn’t call it a house, given its size. Castle, would be more appropriate. Or manor. Kai stops at the threshold, pushing open the heavy oak doors with one hand.

He doesn’t set me down, moving towards the polished staircase to our right as a strange, tingling sensation starts to spread to my feet. It hurts and I make a small noise against the cloth of his shirt, turning my head into his back.

Kai’s body stills beneath mine. “We’re almost there,” he whispers.

“Where?” I ask, the noise barely audible. My eyes are barely open by now.

The next span of time is a blur. Hands which give me to other hands. A murmur of voices. Tugging of my clothes and a gasping sensation as I’m lowered into water. It hurts. I whimper, trying to escape but strong hands push me down. Keep me there. Rubbing feeling back into my limbs.

I almost wish that they hadn’t. I scream when the pain arrives. Scream until the noise fades to moans as I struggle to keep conscious. Which isn’t for too much longer before blessed darkness takes me. As I drift off, I think I hear a voice speaking above me.

“She’ll live, won’t she?”

There’s a murmuring answer.

“Thank god.”

When my eyes open, I don’t recognize my surroundings. It’s too bright and I quickly shut my eyes against the pain. Slowly easing them open as my pupils adjust.

The room is white. White as snow, light as ice. The soft, downy comforter I’m wrapped in is a pearly shade of grey – the darkest shade in the room. Gossamer curtains cover each window, drifting down to bleached wood below. The bed I’m in has four posts – each hung with their own, gauzy fabric.

I blink lazily up at it all, struggling to make sense.

The events of the past twenty four hours come crashing down around me and my eyes shut as I fall back against the pillows. I’m in Faery. In what must be the residence of my captor, the fairy Prince Kai.

There’s no one else in the room with me. Nor is there really much of anything at all. Nothing besides the bed, a dresser and a wardrobe. There are no books I realize, slowly pushing myself into a sitting position. As I do, the covers fall down about my waist.

I scream, the rash noise leaving my throat before I can consider it’s consequences. I can’t help it - waking up naked and alone in a strange man’s house will do that to you. No, no, not a man – one of the Fey.

The door to the room flies open.

My hands are around my chest before I know what I’m doing, pulling the sheet up as fast as I can. I don’t know whether I’m relieved or not when a woman enters.

The woman is also Fey, though she looks much older than Kai. I wonder briefly how that works – how one immortal can look old compared to another. Her eyes scan me from head to toe, fading quick from worry to sharpness.

“What in that world?” She places a hand on her hip. “You were screaming bloody murder. I thought a bannik got to you.”

Confused, I blink back at her. “A what?”

“A bannik. Small, feisty. Hides beneath stoves and throws things – thought one may have crept up from the kitchens. That’s not important.” Yanking back my curtains, she holds out a lump of clothing to me. Not my clothing, though and when I don’t react, she huffs in frustration. “Come on dear, I have things to do. Your brush with hypothermia took up quite a bit of my time last night.”

Hypothermia. I stare down at my hands, spread on the bed sheet. That explains the strange dream – the water, the pain, the nakedness. A formidable blush emerges as I clutch the sheet tighter. “Were… were you the one who undressed me?”

“No.” Briskly, the woman shoos me from bed. I don’t move until she yanks the sheet, forcing my legs to the floor. “That was the Master.”

Cheeks coloring, I pull my sheet along with me. “And the Master is…?”

Her eyebrows rise. “His Majesty, Prince Kai.”

“Excellent.”

The woman resumes making the bed, fluffing and snapping with all the efficiency of a war veteran. When she notices me staring, she nods. “Go on, get changed. The Master requested you attend dinner tonight. That’s in two hours and I need to make sure you’re presentable by then.”

“Two… hours?” I’ve never needed longer than a half-hour to get ready in my life.

“I know, it’s not a lot of time.” The woman sadly shakes her head. “But we’ll make do. At least you’re looking better now,” she notes, scanning my body. “A bit of color back in your complexion.”

I bend, scooping up clothing from where she’s laid it on the bed. “T-thank you,” I hear myself say.

“For what, dear?”

I can’t say what I want to. Which is that this strange, brusque woman is the first shred of kindness I’ve experienced since coming to Faery. I can’t say that though, so I turn away. “Thank you for nursing me back to health.”

“Humph.” She continues to make the bed. “I did what I could, dear. You should really thank the Master though.”

“Why?” At the door to the bathroom, I pause. “What, did he try to drown me in the bath and decided better of it?”

A small smile crosses the woman’s face. “He healed you.”

Her words nearly make me drop my clothing - I catch it just in time. “He… what?” I sputter, not sure I heard correctly.

“He healed you,” she says, looking over at me. “You’re lucky not to have lost a foot. Healing is a power I haven’t seen the Master use since… well.” The woman falls silent. “It’s been a long time.”

A long silence settles over the room. “Dinner is in two hours?” I manage.

The woman’s smile returns as she smooths out the comforter. “Dinner is in two hours.”

[Master List]