#not only ok to rb but actively encouraged to rb

[situpontheground]

butches in their natural habitat (bookstore)

[eievuiisms]

Gonna throw up a poll for this actually: would you be interested in me occasionally posting chapters / excerpts / etc. from my books on a sideblog? I intend to self publish at some point, so these would simply be previews and not the completed work. I'm just wondering if people would enjoy having a sneak peek of the work to get a feel.

[you-are-so-much-better-than-that]

Alternative Timeline

So as of yesterday I have been on Tumblr for a YEAR! A WHOLE YEAR being a part of this beautiful wonderful incredible community that we have all built. And it has changed my entire life. I’ve made friends who I hope will be in my life long after we’ve forgotten about these characters and this universe (will we ever though…?). I have crafted and written and collaborated. I have participated in a zine and cobbled together a couple of drabbles. I’ve had so much fun being your unofficial Keeper of the Shameless Timeline, trying to make some kind of sense of season 1 and, more recently, working alongside some of my favourite artists and people to build a whole ass calendar! It’s been the most wonderful year and I’m looking forward to the next! I’m not done doin this thing yet! 

Also, I know I haven’t been active these last couple of months, but I’ve noticed that there are a bunch of new people around these parts. I just wanted to say HI! HELLO! WELCOME!! I’m so glad you’re here! I see you all liking the things people are making and I know everyone appreciates the like, but I’m just gonna ask you to also hit that rb button! People are out here making things! For you! To enjoy! For free! Art and gif sets and fic! They take so much time, and it's so easy to show your appreciation! Just a couple of buttons! You don’t even have to go nuts in the tags (although we love that kind of unhinged behaviour around here). And if you wanna say hi to us, make some friends, I highly encourage it. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Ok I’ll shut up now. Let’s talk timeline!

I have tried my best to follow the logic, though sometimes there is none, and follow the clues, no matter how few! And I have tried to do it with as little bias as possible.

HOWEVER!

You guys, I have a confession to make.

There is a possible other timeline that season one could follow.

I do not like it! But, I am here to give you, my precious timeline enthusiasts, the truth! Even if it hurts me. Even if it makes no sense (because it often doesn’t. JW doesn’t believe in time). Even if it takes away the possibility of a Christmas bang and a New Year’s bang, which, truly, would be a tragedy and is the main reason I refuse to follow this other timeline.

Under the cut you will find the second possible timeline. You decide which you prefer, and tell me why! I need well-formed arguments for or against please!

Thank you all for being here with me this year. It hasn’t been an easy one, but you all have made it just a little bit better. I love you all!

Alternative Timeline

Episode 1: Remains the same at November 15, 2010. There is a calendar. Fiona points at it. No disputes here!

Episode 2: This is where it all could change. Bear with me. There is a possibility that this episode might have taken place on January 28, 2011, over two months after the first episode. Here’s why: Frank gets his cheque the last Friday of the month. In both November and December, the last Friday is a holiday, so this acts with the assumption that this is now January and it’s been 2 months since the first episode. I don’t love this idea because nowhere else in this season do they make such a massive time jump.  A few weeks, maybe, but not two months. This also then changes the entire timeline. No Christmas/New Year’s bang, either. What do you guys think?

Episode 3: As this episode starts the Thursday following the previous episode when Tony Takes Fiona to his award ceremony, it leaves Tony’s deflowering to have taken place on February 4.

Episode 4: If I follow the logic of my original calendar which has episode 4 on the same weekend as episode 3, then this means this episode alternatively takes place on February 6th. This actually works quite well with an upcoming event in episode 6. 

Episode 5: I worked a little backwards here. I had to place episode 6 on February 16th, so the only date episode 5 could take place was February 12th-13th, meaning Kev and Vee got married on February 13th in this alternate timeline.

Episode 6: At the beginning of this episode, Carl hands Fiona a note from last Friday and it is now Wednesday. I initially made the assumption that it is Wednesday Dec 15th, however, in this alternative timeline, I’m placing this episode on February 16th. And there is evidence of this date. If you zoom in quite a bit, it’s got a date on it, February 11, 2011, the Friday before February 16th.  But I hate this timeline because it just doesn’t make sense! There is a calendar change in episode 8, two episodes from now! It goes from December to January in that episode. I can get that the calendar is unreliable, but if they’re gonna change it, why change it to the wrong month?? No. I refuse. But anyway. There is evidence.

This now leaves us three weeks to squeeze in the Bangiversary, Slim Jims, and two episodes of Monica before we get to the last two episodes, which we know for a fact take place on March 18-20th, same as the original timeline. Here is the only way this would work:

Episode 7:  Episode 7 would be on February 18th-19th, making Ian and Mickey’s Bangiversary February 19th, getting rid of the possibility of a Christmas and New Year’s bang. Also, speeding up their entire first bit of their young relationship. We just went from a possible two months of secret fucking before Mickey was arrested to a mere two weeks? No! I don’t like it!!

Episode 8: This puts SlimJims and Milkovich-Ian Sandwich on February 25th-27th.

Episode 9: Frank would call Monica on March 5th and, she’d would show up around March 6th. That same night, Mickey is arrested. 

Episode 10: On March 7th, Ian finds out he’s not Frank’s son and Monica abandons her children again.

Episodes 11 & 12: Remain the same. We know they take place on the Friday-Sunday after St. Patrick’s day.

I will admit, there is an elegance to the end here with the Karen storyline. In the original timeline, if she goes to the ball with her dad on February 21st, and then goes emo child on March 18th, about three weeks later. That doesn’t really fit, either. However, I could be convinced to move the entire Monica saga down so that it all happens in March instead of February. This could work actually. (Yes you are reading me figuring this out in real time, folks!)

WAIT!!! WHAT IF we have an alternative-alternative timeline?? And it looks like this:

We ignore the weird Carl teacher’s note thing from episode 6, and we keep episodes 1-8 the same as is in the original timeline, giving us the very, very important Christmas and New Year’s bang as well as more than two weeks of secret fucking, while episodes 9-12 look more like this second timeline, making the Karen storyline make more sense. Oh I think I like this!

Here are some visuals:

OG Timeline:

Timeline 2.0

Timeline 3.0

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?? Does anyone have opinions? Do we still care?? Did we ever…?

There you have it folks! Season One all tied up in…a really messy Gordian knot. I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I have! On to season two! (I promise I won’t take a whole year this time!)

[sesshy380]

I hope this is ok to ask, but are you in any fandoms outside of Yugioh?

It's absolutely okay to ask! Seriously, I encourage the asking of The Things™!

So to answer the question, I wouldn't say I'm 'IN' any other fandoms as in being actively engaged in them outside of their source material. There are a few I will reblog stuff from though when it suits me.

Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon is a new one that I know a few mutuals enjoy, so I will rb that.

Dragon Age series on occasion.

A good chunk of my life was centered around World of Warcraft, so not only do I often talk about WoW, but on occasion I will rb stuff from it.

Others that may find it's way being rb'd by me are Sesshomaru (if my username doesn't make that obvious), FFXIV, Studio Ghibli, The Sims, and a few different anime that I've enjoyed over the years.

[jamesvanriemsdyk]

i think its also important to acknowledge that this is specifically transmisogyny. trans women are one of the most vulnerable minorities in the world and constantly, CONSTANTLY, cis people use the idea of trans women as a 'threat' to oppress and discriminate against them (often violently!), when in reality, cis people are the ones who are a direct threat to trans women's health and safety.

[kkujo]

able bodied and neurotypical please for the love of god start considering how your environmental activism might affect disabled people

[genderfluidlucifer]

If you’re white and you’re only ok with white artists making white characters black/brown but scorn actual black/brown artists for doing it? Then you are still 100% antiblack and anti brown. (Especially if you use your friends of color to attack those black/brown artists for you.)  Then your attempt at activism through that kind of fanart is performative as hell. It’s also a sign that you still have a lot of antiblack/anti brown bias to unlearn. Also tbh if you’re black or a brown POC and you encourage this then you deserve to be called out by members of your race too. White people can rb but if you clown on this post I’m blocking your ass. No your centrist friend of color saying it’s ok doesn’t magically mean you’re not racist.

[clevercorvidae]

Ok so I’ve been active in the mcyt fandom for a few months now and I’ve noticed some things:

1)This fandom has fantastic vibes. It’s probably the least negative/critical fan base I’ve seen in a while (I’m talking about mcytblr rn, I’ve seen the mess that is mcyttwt)

2) A lot of you are new to tumblr/this is your first real fandom. And as such...you are Allergic to reblogs. Now, you aren’t obligated to rb every post you like or whatever, but the thing about tumblr is that it isn’t like other social media. It doesn’t really have a fancy algorithm to recommend new things. Likes are nice but don’t do much to give that post momentum. The only way people will see content is by other people reblogging it. I especially encourage you to reblog the art, writing, and analysis posts that you like as those kinds of posts take a lot of effort to make. (If you’re worried about spamming your mutuals, just queue the post so they can be more spread out)

3)You guys are exceptionally respectful of people’s boundaries. Obviously, there are some hiccups here and there, but overall the majority of mcytblr are amazing at keeping up with what a cc is and isn’t comfortable with. I’ve been in rpfs a few times before and never have I seen people be so considerate.

4) y’all are the bomb dot com <3

[mychemicalraymance]

ok so a few things!

1. i have a lot of new followers which i love and appreciate!! thank you all so much, it means a lot to me that anyone would be interested in my mcr fanblog haha. this is the first time i have been such an active participant in a fanbase... since maybe ever..... i’ve basically been a silent internet observer my whole life. i participated a little bit in online communities when i was a kid and i was burned a couple of times so i just stopped for a REALLY long time. i never actively participated, really, until recently with mcr returning. it is so nice to have a community around basically  one of the few things in my life that i can genuinely talk about for hours. mcr is one of the longest ongoing interests of mine, i’ve been hardcore invested since i was 11, 2010. i have been around and about for a LONG time, but i’m definitely not an oldschool fan, and not a scholar. as i said i have never really been an active participant, just privately hyper focused. i was an embarrassing baby fan but i’ve grown out of that and it feels really good to re-explore my interest again as a real person with a better understanding of myself and what’s important, with other people with similar life experiences and values. 

2. some basic stuff about me uhhh i dont like to put this stuff in my bio because it feels like a weird laundry list to have on display all the time and i don’t like leaving too much of a paper trail to my real identity (i am an mcr supervillian lesbian by night normal artist/intern teacher by day) but these aspects of my identity are sort of important to what i post and if i ever get out of line i feel it’s important to openly discus my mistakes without hiding behind obscurity. i’m a 21 year old white woman and a lesbian, i use she/her. i have had issues with gender non-conformity but i am cis. i am neurotypical but i have in my recent life struggled with depression, and am diagnosed with pmdd. i’m pretty fat and i like to make very light jokes about weight sometimes because it can be funny to me but i try to be sensitive about it. here and here are two posts about my policy of lesbian jokes/using she. here is my policy about following/interaction with minors.

3. follows! i appreciate them all! i was actually recently followed by a user that i have been following for years now! it was amazing (not going to name names because it feels braggy to me and i dont wanna blow up their spot lol). i only maintained following 2 mcr blogs in the great my chemical recession of 2015-2019 in my life and one of them is the person who followed me and i feel so! happy about it. if you follow me and i dont follow back here a few things to think about 

- i do not follow minors just as a personal policy

- this is a side! my main shall remain a sexy little secret in order to maintain my alter ego and because i like to keep stuff a little close to the vest

-i like to sort of scope out what a person is like before i follow back so a lot of the time i keep an eye on a blog i like and see what they have to say before i hit follow (even with ppl who are not mutuals. often i will check a blog manually for a while to see what theyre about before i follow, just on my own). 

-sometimes i just dont personally enjoy a blog. sorry.

also: mutuals can use my name in their reblogs/tags, i don’t have a problem with it. i just don’t give it a permanent position in my bio.

4. i am not interested in nor do i condone shipping/rpf. i have experience in that realm and it got especially dark for me, and i dont like it as a whole. i’m not going to fight with anyone about this. the end.

5. my art- i read almost all the rb tags on my art and i appreciate all of them. i love it all and it encourages me to make more!! if you like my work, reblogging and saying so directly contributes to my artistic drive. i’ve slowed down a little bit as of late because i’ve been busy with christmas. i cannot guarantee that i will always maintain posting art, but right now i’m really enjoying it and i hope you guys do too. i regularly reblog my art because it is the best way to get traction with art on tumblr. sorry if this is irritating; it helps me get feedback on my work. if you want to use my work for anything PLEASE contact me before you do and give me credit where you use it. this is almost all fanart, i will in all likelihood say yes, i just like to know where my art is being posted/used.

that’s all i can think of right now. thanks again.

[taiiiisa]

royed otp question thing

oops i’m in a royed mood

***also disclaimer all of my royed headcanons/ship things are post-canon by at least a few years and ed’s at least in his 20s thank u gbye

Who is the most affectionate?

ROY 100%, ed secretly loves it, also he’s super clingy, but roy is more likely to initiate anything sappy or cute that isn’t just like, “UGH -flops on lap after long day at work-“ or something, ed does grabby hands for hugs but only when he’s sulking, says “APPRECIATE ME” after he’s finished a chore. at random roy will just kiss ed’s forehead or the top of his head, or say something really sweet that makes ed blush and swear and “you are so embarrassing al is right there wtfff” but al thinks it’s sweet and rolls his eyes bc “you’re such a hypocrite, brother” bc ed doesn’t hide his clinginess around close friends/family (oops i added al but LISTEN)

Big spoon/little spoon?

NO SPOONS bc if u call ed little he will ATTACK, plus roy likes to do the holding so they compromise and ed lays on top of roy or half on him, puts his face all in roy’s neck, OR when roy needs to be comforted it’s the opposite but his head under eds chin and ed rubs his back 😔👌

Most common argument?

oh god where do i START, so much petty arguing over little things but nothing that actually hurts the other? bro i cant even give specifics you know they argue about fuckin what to have for dinner and shit

Favorite non-sexual activity?

ed LOVES a good rant about work/alchemy, roy loves to listen bc he loves when ed is passionate. roy likes going to the theatre/dinner in fancy places and ed indulges him bc “hey free food /i will never admit i like this too/“, ed, is a cuddle adDICT, so is roy

Who is most likely to carry the other?

ed would do it out of SPITE, cut to roy just hanging over his shoulder in defeat, the team is laughing, al is shaking his head, also roy just likes to hold ed whenever he can and sometimes even lets him fall asleep on the couch so he can carry him upstairs even if he grumbles about it whilst half asleep

What is their favorite feature of their partner's?

roy loves eds hair, eyes, and scars, ed thinks their matching scars are cool as shit “how badass is THAT” + never hesitates to tell roy he has a great ass, smacks it sometimes when he walks by, accidentally does it in the office out of habit, roy finds it hilarious but ed won’t stop blushing

What's the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

FIRST NAMESSSSSS, ed goes from mustang to roy, roy goes from fullmetal/edward to just ed, also (lemme add my boy back in here for a sec) he finally fINALLY starts calling al by just al, instead of alphonse after ed n al both encourage him. al says “you’re basically like my brother-in-law now” ed gets VERY embarrassed. and as a compromise al stops calling roy “the general”

Nicknames?

roy for ed: darling, love, ed, fullmetal,

ed for roy: bastard, jackass, asshole, (but nice tho)

OK IM DONE

rb and add urs if you want 🤔

[krupnick02]

Da Rules

notes beforehand:

I am not affiliated with Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Disney in any way, shape or form. This is just my take on Jessica Rabbit!

Jessica’s views =/= My own.

This will not be the most active blog, I’m afraid. Life happens! But I’ll always be around even when my activity is pretty spotty. I’m allllllways watching.

There is no “real” verse to be found here, no RL faceclaims. Those verses do not interest me. <:)

I steer clear of drama. I’m here to relax, not stress out.

Jessica is a suggestive character, so keep that in mind if you want to follow. Suggestive & Sexual content will be found here time-to-time, and it will always be tagged.

You probably won’t be comfortable here if you’re no fan of genderbending or the fiction=/= reality mindset.

I like to goof around and be playful with my writing! I might not be the blog for you if you’re looking for 100% seriousness.

A small note regarding Jessica’s PTSD & Depression.

I reserve the right to unfollow/block at any given time for reasons of my own. Please do not approach me for the reason as to why. // If I should unfollow, I will always softblock on the way out so we are no longer following each other, not to worry.

I do not recognize Kingdom Hearts as a verse here, and I do apologize for that. Forming relations with the characters, however, is completely fine by me!

A little fyi: I’m not a multi-muse account, but every once in a while a different muse will appear for a very short time: either accompanying Jessica in a thread or just bursting in from their account to interact. I promise it’s very minimal when this happens, and they don’t have a commonplace here. This is Jess’s blog, my other muses are just invasive and don’t appreciate her personal space lmao.

+ Unless tagged as ‘ok to rb’ – do not reblog my posts. This rule applies to you too, Personals ( non-rp blogs ).

now, the rules:

Icons: I have made all my icons myself so please do not steal them.

Selectivity: Mutuals only for now! I am more than happy to interact with original characters as well as characters from different forms of media, but I am a bit picky. Please don’t pressure me to follow you - it will lead to an instant block.

Mutuals: If we’re mutuals with one another and you want to unfollow at any time, please do so, but softblock me in the process as it’s awkward to keep following someone who doesn’t want to rp anymore. Please and thank you! ♥

No Godmodding: Please don’t control Jessica. I won’t control your little bundle of sunshine/or obsidian without permission, so don’t control mine.

NSFW: Nearly all matter of content may be featured on this blog and will be tagged either as “body horror” or “nsfw”. Sexual scenarios, if any occur at all, will only take place between people I’m comfortable with. I refuse to rp smut with strangers and will block on sight without warning if it’s so much as attempted or hinted.

- I will not allow rape on this blog, or non-con sexual interactions of any kind. Jessica is not your fantasy toy and I refuse to roleplay her as such. Do not send me invasive, creepy anons, either. That means no sexual anons if I have not reblogged a meme. Be respectful.

- I will not roleplay smut with minor muses or minor muns. Attempts to slide around this rule will be met with an automatic block.

Character Death: Your muse can kill Jessica, but only if you plot with me first! That death will only apply for that one thread though, so keep that in mind. The only thing that can truly kill a toon is DIP and I will not be changing that.

Shipping: This blog will be multi-ship, but you will be disappointed if you come here looking for shipping right off the bat. I am very picky about who Jessica’s paired off with! Chemistry is key.

- Ships will have their own verse, of course. I’d love to give full extension into all of them. Marriage, kids, the whole shebang -- as long as your character is up to it, that is!

- All ships will take place in a verse where Jessica is single and known as “Jessica Krupnick”. I will not roleplay or partake in any form of cheating.

- Jessica can be quite flirtatious, but that does not equal auto-shipping on my part. She is who she is! <:)

- If Jessica does get a crush on your muse, that is also not equal to auto=shipping on my part. Crushes happen all the time and never go anywhere, so please don’t feel pressured. I won’t push anything on you.

Length: One-liner, short, para, novella (however, this one does take a chunk of time to reply to) .. it’s all welcome here. I do not have a length limit, but I don’t do well with length expectation. I will write at my own length. Please, I highly encourage you to do the same. So long as we both have something to go off, we’re good as gold.

Format: Regular small text and 100x100 icons is how I roll, but format is not at all needed to interact – neither are icons! However, I’m not comfortable with heavily formatted posts, or with very small text, that’s just a bit too much for me! I do have bad eye sight and would prefer not having to squint to read.

Time: Mun can either reply instantly to a roleplay or take a week or so to get to it, please don’t rush her.

Anons are welcome, but please keep it sweet unless I reblog a meme stating otherwise.

Reblog Karma: I’m not a First National Bank of Memes, so please don’t treat me like one. Reblog from the source if available if you’re not going to send one in, please!

If you’re reading this that means you either read through the whole thing or just skim read alllll the way to the bottom, but either way CONGRATS. Thanks for taking the time to read my rules! 

[conflictedrabbit]

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there. 

___: 

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___: 

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff: 

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff: 

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?} 

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___: 

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff: 

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___: 

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___: 

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___: 

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff: 

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___: 

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___: 

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff: 

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff: 

Wow i want to die!

___: 

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___: 

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___: 

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff: 

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___: 

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff: 

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___: 

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff: 

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___: 

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff: 

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff: 

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___: 

M. E

m

66ccff: 

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___: 

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff: 

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:.  They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me: 

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___: 

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff: 

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___: 

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff: 

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___: 

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff: 

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___: 

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___: 

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff: 

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff: 

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff: 

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___: 

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___: 

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff: 

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___: 

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff: 

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___: 

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___: 

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___: 

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___: 

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff: 

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff: 

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___: 

Me

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff: 

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff: 

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___:  it's really weird

66ccff: 

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___: 

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff:  o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff:  i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff:  :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff:  oh yeah

....

66ccff: 

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff:  ___ we are so fucked ___: 

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence