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#not that i need my partner to fix me
lumielwinchester · 8 months
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I'm watching "My happy marriage" on Netflix and God damn is this girl annoying! People are throwing her less than breadcrumbs and she thanks them for it. Hell, those the "good-ish guys" are throwing her fucking rat poison and she still thanks them for it.
I was hoping there'd be some character growth, that she learns to recognise the abuse around her and learns to stand up for herself. And while there's been some of that as well as trusting her husband's family that is actually worth trusting. She still not even remotely recognises, how 95% of people don't give a shit about her personally and only want to use her for her power. Half her family literally abused her because they thought she had no power and the other half left her to that abuse before they found out she would be useful. And this girl still fucking thanks them for it!!!
She has been abused for such a long time and the fact that no one sits her down and explains to her that it wasn't her fault, that she didn't deserve to be treated like that and needs to ask for help, if ever anyone else locks her away or forces her to do things she doesn't want to do, is upsetting in its own right.
God damn it. I hate romantic anime.
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myreia · 1 month
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✦ D I S C I P L E O F T H E H A N D
Alchemy for potions. Blacksmithing for repairs. Leatherworking and weaving for mending. She is not an artisan, but the basic skills she has picked up over the years have served her well. Self-sufficiency has always been at the forefront of her mind, and she is pleased that she can keep herself afloat when needed. Besides, crafting is relaxing. A hobby or two here and there is good for her mind. —level 90 compendium
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#lvl 90 compendium#myreia screenshots#aureia malathar#oc tag#doh#give me more glam plates so all of my doh don't have to be on the same plate SE you cowards!!!#so funny story: i didn't want to craft at all#and then i came back from a 6 month break and started doing a bit of doh on my alt#and i really liked it#so i stopped playing my alt and went back to aur and now she has full doh/dol LOL#the quests are so cute i really enjoyed how different they are from the combat ones#and i love the doh/dol tribal quests (the ones i've done haven't done all of them yet)#they're a nice change of pace#i just find it funny that i went from basically combat only - kill kill kill - to “give me a second i need to make this thing rq”#retirement arc in full swing#but nah it makes sense for aur to be self-sufficient#she's not an expert at anything doh-related but she knows enough to keep her stuff maintained#she has a whole cooking arc that rearranges her relationship with food and family after feeling for years like food is for fuel only#and she makes her own earrings#one of the reasons she has as many piercings in her ears#(not possible in screenshots since i don't have the skill or the knowledge to add them to her ear mod just pretend they're there!)#and a piercing in her navel is because she did them herself as a way to regain bodily autonomy after defecting from garlemald#she fixes her friends and her partner's gear too when needed#also please perceive nutkin chilling in the background i love that little munchkin so much you have no idea
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bittsandpieces · 7 months
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freeuselandonorris · 4 months
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blushy-tigerrr · 2 months
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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I think my least favorite thing on the internet is how quick people are to call characters toxic just because they don't like them.
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theequeerstrian · 1 year
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Something has gone terribly wrong because none of y'all that I follow are talking about the Good Omens official release date being announced today
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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 9 months
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i Need to get and play more multiplayer games with people, for my Health
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cockyroaches · 1 year
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Hey man I heard Futurama is back and my wives are not being tormented by horrible writing this time so I drew this to celebrate. There will be more
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bunnihearted · 7 months
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📓🖊️
#maybe maybe one day i'll be ok??#maybe i'll manage to get my high school diploma#maybe i'll get a student housing apartment in another city. maybe i can study to become a pre school teacher...#(not my dream job but the only job that seems possible for me)#maybe i'll be able to work on my anxiety and avpd and become more calm#maybe i'll be able to exercise the way i want nd become physically strong#maybe i'll be brave enough to try apps to make girl friends i can hang out with???#maybe i'll get back into writing nd posting it. maybe i'llhave more fun w insta and taking photos again??#maybe i'll fix my relationship w my sisters nd talk to them again??#maybe if im lucky i'll meet someone who i fall in love w who falls for me too? maybe someone will one day choose to be with me??#maybe i can get a real apartment nd have a job? maybe i can even live w a partner one day? and maybe i'll have friends?#maybe i wont be all alone forever?? maybe i wont feel this alienated nd isolated for my entire life??#maybe maybe maybe my life can be alright....? can it really be?#i dont have much hope. but maybe??? plz plz plz let it be so let it be so#and maybe for now.. as im lower than i've ever been before..#maybe i just need to be able to eat more normally again. then i can have my coffe chocolate moments w youtube#and i can watch kdramas nd have dinner. which are two moments that make me feel ok nd calm#<<< i feel ashamed abt it but comforting eating is a thing for me. im gnna be alone 4ever anyway so might aswell just accept thats how i am#so yeah maybe maybe i'll start feel a bit better when i can disconnect from everything nd just get immersed in a kdrama nd have dinner lmao#idk. i just dont feel like i'll ever have a real life. i'll never have what i dream abt (which isnt even much. just love.. just love lmao)#so then i can daydream nd live by reading books nd watching kdramas nd tv shows nd also write a lot#but ofc in my freetime bc i need a job w a stable income nd my own apartment. even if i dont love my job i need one that i can be ok with
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rainbowpufflez · 2 months
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I swear I think I need someone to make Phil a partner /hj
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northwest-cryptid · 13 days
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I literally feel like I'm dying and I need to see a doctor, but I can't worry about that right now because
My bank account is literally in the negatives because I'm too disabled to work and can't make money but I can't worry about that right now because
I'm months overdue on getting my car new tags, but it won't even start if I could drive it so I need to jump the battery and get gas which I don't have money for, but I can't worry about that right now because
People are still expecting me to be social across numerous friend groups and it's pulling me in so many directions that I'm stretched so thin I'm running on no social battery for the last month, but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually clean the house, do the dishes, clean the cat litter boxes, vacuum, and do my laundry... but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually set up my new desk so I can stream since I haven't been able to do that for weeks and streaming is unfortunately my only source of income for how little I make every month, but I can't worry about that right now because
My partner is going through a really hard time right now and I need to be there for her and do what I can to make sure she's okay.
#People like me don't make it man. We just don't.#I'm hyper dependent on others to the point where I'd be homeless without my partner#I'm stressed day in and day out I get messages from people who want me to play games or hang out or just chat and I can't even#find the time to respond because I have 12 other things I need to be doing and those 12 other things aren't getting done because#every single thing I need to do is preventing me from doing something else and at the end of it all my health is getting worse and worse#and as it gets worse it costs more to fix and I can't get on disability without paying for a lawyer with money I literally do not have#and I'm losing it I'm literally going insane I'm pissed off because I see people blame the country I live in or the circumstances I'm in#and they act like they can't do anything and it'd be wrong of me to ask them for help#and I know when I die (and at this point it won't be long) they're going to act like this is the fault of america or some shit#they're not going to think about how they could have helped#and it sucks because some of my friends DO try to help they really do and I love them for it but it's so hard for me to see people#who don't make much money and who are also in tough situations throwing what they can at me to help me when I know people who have so much#they spend it frivolously on luxuries and I want to strangle them but then I'm not owed anything so it's not my place to tell them how#to spend their money or live their life.#and I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired I can't even stay awake for a few hours before I am too exhausted to sit upright anymore#I pass out and find myself without energy before I've even done anything and I'm only 29.
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I've been thinking about him for some time already (YOU KNOW WHO...) and I think. he's just Like That ™. the gentleman killer. Haskillcore boring old man stuff enjoyer that spends weekends reading newspapers and philosophy books. looks down on people that lack manners. DOES want to serve for the best of his abilities and be appreciated. But ALSO I get the vibes... that he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard.
HEAR ME OUT... It was just a joke at first but his fiasco with messing the most basic spell and being thrown out of the train..... I feel like he, in fact, can be incompetent wizard and that can fuck him up SO BADLY... like inferiority complex... I can imagine him being young & dreaming of becoming a great wizard & failing painfully. So now he compensates it with self-taught magic and dark arts (his necromancy interest). “dark magic is just misunderstood, not evil"...
I also get vibes from him of being bullied? I would take away his lunch yk. And now he allows people to walk over him and it's not just a job thing he's just like that. Until the moment he snaps. And murder may be the way for him to feel being in-control, which he usually lacks. Feel like he hass power. He doesn't feel nor act like purple guy jeff the killer (he's too old for that) but. Sometimes he thinks “It would be nice to kill someone right now. I also need cash. Hmm.” and that's now it happens. Maybe he feels alive when he does that, but it's only in-moment feeling that doesn't stay. I feel like he's pretty sensitive and can say when he feels bad(offended) or good(proud), but doesn't really have emotional intelligence? The feelings are there, what to do with them? who knows. not him. he goes out on the streets at night. depreesion)
I think he knows a lot about magic and artifacts (found out about the relic by private investigation or smth) but he can't use that intformation himself! what a shame! I get the vibes that he can be almost . cursed . to be a bad wizard. he's probably not but it just feels that way. so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!
I rotate him in my mind he's so interesting what is wrong with him . . .
NODS VIGOROUSLY ALONG WITH YOUR POINTS im sitting here taking notes for my fic fr!! i actually hit on a lot of the same conclusions you did which makes me so happy, but one of the main differences was i thought he might actually be a good wizard, BUT i think your reading that he's ACTUALLY just a shitty wizard is more interesting character-wise....
like you said "he knows a lot about magic and artifacts but he can't use that intformation himself" <- YESSS. i think the exact way that he's shitty is that he definitely has the theoretical knowledge, but he can't apply it for shit. <3 like at the end of rockport limited he clearly knew the flame spell he was going to use, he just... fucking misses by a country mile LMFAO, even the meat monsters seem a little cobbled-together, like he knows the the theory but there's little finesse in the execution.
"he's the way he is because he's a shitty wizard." <- OK BC THIS BASIS IS SO GOOD. hes got so much ambition but no talent, and that informs everything about him!! - it's my headcanon that he grew up lower-middle class, and i think combining that with being bullied and being bad at magic contributed to an inferiority complex. and he likes refined things precisely because he likes the image of himself as this powerful refined (rich) person when he's really just grasping at it desperately :)))
aaand i think the dark arts provide shortcuts to power for the price of sacrificing another living thing, SO FOR JENKINS, who was a shitty wizard and an asshole who's totally willing to sacrifice people for power, it suited him perfectly :)))))))
not to mention all the points u brought up abt why he kills are so good. i think it's firstly a practicality thing (he needs the money, like u said), but then secondarily an outlet for his anger (he's a bit emotionally unintelligent like u also said lol). i think he learned how to deal with this simmering hatred in the exact wrong way, where he bottles it up during the day when ppl push him around and then lets it out during his murders. instead of yknow... learning to not let ppl push him around, and manage his anger and deal with it less destructively SDFLSDFKJ. and it became a cycle. so now he's a serial murderer cos he's into this repress-release pattern, someone get this man into therapy or get him a boyfriend who can fix him !!
AND... okok final point bc its getting a bit long. "so many potential in such cringefail loser (/affectionate). and he knows that and mourns that! what does he do with his life!" <- YES. perhaps even. he is not cut out to be a wizard..... he clearly has ambition, and good taste, and a flair for the dramatic, and mental problems, which means. of course. he is perfectly suited for the theater--//SHOT
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dutybcrne · 3 months
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Thinking of Kaveh with Unhinged partners again
#//By that; I mean partners who commit the Violences and deadly Chaoses#//Furthermore; said Violences being done upon other ppl bc that person is a Fighter with a side of bloodlust & destruction#//HIs every opposite in damn near every way#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//So lik#//I watched a Wu of the Wa playthrough#//And I fucken LAUGH#//Now Kav is not so dumb he would be FOOLED into thinking they are innocent#//But like#//Them deffo having an on-off thing bc they still manage to worm their way into his heart time and heckin again#//Him continuing to think 'This is the LAST fucken straw; I CANNOT be with sb like his'#//They proceed to show up wounded to his window and tell him they need a quick lil hand and will be on their merry way#//Read: it takes TWOmins of Kav is grumbling & patching them up before they kiss again & Kav thinks to himself MAYBE they can behave#//Then proceeds to get disappointed again when Cy drops news he's hunting them again for Crimes#//Person is a sweetheart to him; or maybe a mischievous lil menace that pushes his buttons to hell and back; but would Never hurt him#//But he HAS to try and draw a line#//But cannot#//Bro is weak for bad boys; and he is fucken PISSED abt it#//Anyway; imma read some k4vet4ru fics I found#//Bc that's the closest to canon I'll get to this ig dkjgbtfg#//And I don't wanna write a particular ship fic rn#//Mostly bc I am already writing one rn actually#//Bc the thought came to me and it Is a bit of a heavy one#//Bc my brain is just 'Hey; you love this blorbo? Corner him'#//Make the guy feel like a prey animal in what should be the happiest time of his life#//Yup yup#//Or as I like to call it 'Why impromptu weddings are better for K4e than proper engagements; etc'#//But thas an update; anywho#//I think a s/o who is absolutely Sc4r Wu of the Waa levels of unhinged would be funny for Kav#//It would not fix him; prolly make him worse & stressed beyond fucken relief. But it would be funny. TO ME lol
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months
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I'm so fucking mad that it's no longer possible to contact my cellphone provider any other way except by phone. they used to have an email address and a form on their website, and I think even a chat (with actual employees). now it's a useless AI chatbot that only tells you to check in the app (as if I haven't already done that), and then tells you to call because it can't solve the problem.
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bunnyb34r · 11 months
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Need someone to come and crack my hip like a crab leg 😩
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