#not to be crazy and bitter about the finale from 4 years ago. but. why did every other character get timeskip designs on screen except 1. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justoneday-namjoonii · 3 years

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Quarters. | 9

☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9

prompt: “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” — soul-gazing

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings/au: please keep warnings in mind—dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, toxic relationship themes, but they’re attempting to get better, probably inaccurate therapy but i tried, m-ish, humor(i try), mentions of drug usage, cheater cheater pumpkin eater?, fluff, angst, boxer!au, iceskater!au.

authors note: Hello!!💖it’s been a while since the last update but here we are. ✨This chapter is pretty long✨. Unlike some of the other parts, it is following the timeline of the previous part(pt. 8) so just keep that in mind. See m.list for other parts. Enjoy!🥰

“Do it again, you need to stop relying on your right leg so much!”

Your coach yells for the third time in the last hour, she’s being a tyrant today. Your poor ankles are about to break off, your legs are straining and the cold air is starting to feel like vengeful needles. It’s been about two months since the incident with your leg and the doctor at your last check up granted you freedom to skate again. You’re glad it did to because you were about to go crazy. After the scandal came out about you and your ex-coach judge, she asked you if you wanted to get back into pairs. She went on about how Lucas was open to joining pairs again and that maybe you could get back with him—tempting offer. You’ve thought about it, though you still haven’t made a decision. It has been months since your injury, you can no longer use it as an excuse to take things easy.

Determined to get it right, you skate back to your starting point and try it again. You skate forward, bending your knees just slightly to gain more momentum and once you turn, you take off into a triple salchow. Perfect.

”Finally,” You mutter, skating over to the edge of the rink where your coach is just getting off a phone call.

“Okay, Lucas will be here on Thursday to practice with you,” She smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket, “there’s a competition in two months and I think you two should sign up for it.”

“Coach, I haven’t decided if I want to get back into that,” You put on your blade guards and walk over to the lockers, “I just don’t know yet.”

“Think about it,” She leans against the lockers as you untie your skates and put them in your bag, “if you’re seriously pursuing this career, you have to be flexible. You’re not getting any younger. I hate it just as much as you do but you’ll get positive exposure with him and maybe even pick up a sponsor for the season.”

“Fine,” You zip up your duffel bag and slip your hoodie on, deciding to leave the yoga pants on, “but I need a break. I worked a night shift last night so I’m only standing because I took three espresso shots and I’m about to take another one, I’m exhausted.”

“I know you are, try to get some rest this weekend. You’ll be at the ballet studio for half of next week so you won’t be on the ice,” She says that, hoping it’ll give you some relief, “just don’t forget to soak your feet tonight.”

You gather your stuff and walk out of the center, waving at Carrie the desk clerk like a zombie. It’s only 8 o’clock but you’ve been here for two hours, you feel like you’re in a time loop. An eternal warp created to keep you totally spent. When you hop in your car, you crank it up and turn the heat on. Not long after, your eyelids begin to feel heavy so you drive over to the closest coffee shop. When you look down at your phone, you see a missed call from Jeon Jungkook. All prior emojis have been removed from his contact.

His call will stay missed, just like the other five. You’re not in the mood for his sob story. About two weeks ago, you decided that you two needed to take a break but he took it hard. You remember sitting on your couch with crossed arms and staring at him as he twisted and squirmed uncomfortably.

“What kind of break?”

Are there different kinds?

“The kind where we stop seeing each other all the time, I don’t know what kind that is, Jungkook. But I can’t deal with this right now, it’s causing me major stress and anxiety...”

“You can’t deal with me?” He sounds hurt.

“Not with you Jungkook, with your crap. I have a ice skating career to try to work out, a job, school, the last thing I need to worry about is whether you can control yourself,” You frown, “you were just at my house with my niece and next thing I know you’re out getting high and fooling around with other girls.”

“You’re still upset about the photo,” He concludes, “baby, I told you, it didn’t go anywhere with that girl, I pushed her off. I wasn’t completely sober but I know I didn’t let her-”

“That’s exactly my point, you were doing drugs. And for what? You don’t need it. I understand a little bit of smoking every now and then but I can’t handle when you do that other stuff. That night was a disaster. I got stabbed, how does that even happen? But of course, it would happen to me,” You massage the sides of your temples. “I’m just over it, I’m tired.”

“You want to give up on us? Just like that? I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m sorry,” He twiddles his fingers and bites at his bottom lip, “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not giving up,” You defend, “we need some space to work on our selves.”

“Why can’t we work on ourselves together?”

“We’ve been doing that and it doesn’t work.”

The conversation continued on until you two ended up arguing for a good hour before you lied, saying you had to go to class. He left and you haven’t heard from him since, not a a call, a text, a call, not even a like on any of your recent posts. He’s taking this well.

“Why did you do that!? She’s gonna think I called her,” Jungkook snatches the phone from Jimin, “fuck, are you trying to get me killed?”

“Come on,” Jimin roles his eyes with a grin, putting his boxing gloves back on, “you guys can’t stay away from each other, you expect me to believe you two aren’t talking-”

“I’m serious, we haven’t talked for weeks,” Jungkook locks his phone with a frown, tucking it in his gym bag, “she’s done with me.”

“Oh, aw man,” He is serious, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys broke up.”

He had been by you and Jungkook for the entirety of the relationship, it always seemed like you preferred things to be spontaneous. Admittedly, he knew Jungkook would do something that pushed you over the edge one day but he didn’t think it would be so soon.

“We didn’t break up,” Jungkook mumbles, tying his hair back with a head band, “we’re just taking a break, that’s what she told me at least.”

“Aw, that sucks,” Jimin has to contain his amusement, it’s not funny but the fact that Jungkook is giving you full control over the relationship is unusual to him.

“Every time I think about trying to talk to her, I just remember that face she makes and that tone she uses. That’s when I know she does not give a single fuck, it’s scary.”

“Is there a reason she’s being so hard on you? Don’t get me wrong, you were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have been there but it’s been weeks.”

“Her past relationship was rough on her mentally and emotionally. When she was young she had some things happen to her that causes her to have a hard time trusting others.”

“If you knew that then why did you do what you did?”

“I don’t know, okay? Everyone's been beating me up about it but I just don’t have an answer for you. I said I was sorry,” Jungkook shakes his head, fists making brunt contact with the punching bag, “I just I miss her,”

“It’ll be alright, she’ll come around,” Jimin holds the bag, keeping it still for the lovesick boy, “just give it some time. Hey, I’m taking my niece to the ice-skating rink in town, you should come!”

Jungkook, dramatically collapses to the ground, laying back on the ground with his boxing gloves on his face. “Ice-skating, why would you suggest ice-skating!?” He whines. “That’s literally what she does, it’s just going to remind me of her...”

“Aw Kook, I know,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at Jungkook’s overreaction, “that’s okay, you’ll be fine, and besides,” He pulls him up from the ground and pushes his shaggy hair back, “you can’t stay away from each other forever..”

“What about this one?” You step out of the dressing room, turning from side-to-side to let her see, “I like the color.”

“That’s the one,” Harmony scrolls through her phone, eyes going between you and the screen, “perfect.”

“Harmony, you’re just saying that!” You whine, turning to look into the mirror again with a frown.

“Y/n, this is the 11th dress you’ve tried on, it looks great. I’m serious.”

“Okay, I’ll go with this one then,” You smile, going back in the dressing room to change back into your clothes. Yuna’s having a party for the charity she works with. All of the money donated goes to buying toys and clothes for kids in foster care and orphanages, you attend every year.

“You know, I heard Jungkook might come with Taehyung,”

Ugh, you forgot that your groups of friends are also friends. Jeon Jungkook, you still consider him your boyfriend in some aspects, but you don’t want to face him right now. Maybe you’re dragging this out too far but honestly, you don’t care. You love him but right now, you’re doing too well to let him crawl himself back into your life. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t creeping on his social media every now and then, you do care enough to see how he’s doing on there.

“Hm,”

“That’s all you have to say?” She giggles.

“Yup.”

“Did you officially dump his ass yet?”

You step out of the dressing room, rolling your eyes harder than necessary.

“Look, what happened to you was terrible. You couldn’t skate because of him. You caught him with another girl and you still let him take you home,” She was still bitter about Jungkook taking you away the way he did, she still thinks she should have insisted more.

You clear your throat, “I rather not talk about it.”

It’s been admittedly awkward every time one of your friends bring that night up. On one hand, you understand why they bash him so hard but on the other hand, it’s hard to hear. You two leave the mall and grab lunch to eat in the comfort of your car..

During this break, you’ve decided to try and take things slow, relax. Admittedly, it would be nice to have Jungkook around again, to run errands with, to cuddle with. It’s hard not to miss him, you knew it would be.

“We should go to the pop-up ice-skating rink on campus today, it’s a family thing I think,” Harmony squeezes ketchup onto her fries with a thoughtful him, “it sounds fun.”

“It’s funny you say that, Lucas invited me to go ther. He was going to go with his family, I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to.” You sigh.

“Oh, that’s right! The prince is back in town,” Harmony always had a thing for Lucas, even in high school. When you two were partners years ago, she still had a crush on him, “then we definitely should go. Are you getting back into pairs with him?

“Yeah, we’ll do one season together next year.” You have to admit, you are excited to get back into the practice with one of your best friends.

“I’ll definitely have to brush up on my ballet lessons and I was always a bit too shaky during lifts. Our instructions used to say if I don’t look comfortable during lifts on the stable ground, I can’t expect to look good while I’m being lifted and Lucas is still skating. I trust Lucas a lot more now so I think it’ll go well,”

“Jungkook will love that.”

You take a bite of your chicken sandwich with a heavy sigh, “He’ll live...”

“Uncle,” Yona sits with her little brother in the back seat while they wait for Jungkook to finish pumping the gas, “why does your friend look so grumpy? Doesn’t he want to go skating with us?”

Jimin glances back at Yona and smiles, thinking of how he should explain Jungkook’s situation. “He’s just upset, he’s fine.”

“What is he upset about?” Jimin hesitates for a moment but Jungkook signals that he’s running inside for something.

“Well,” He turns to face her, “can you keep a secret?” She eagerly nods. “Kookie is a little sad because he misses his girlfriend.”

“Oh, what happened to her?” Yona frowns, fearing what Jimin might say.

“Nothing happened to her, he’s okay, they just haven’t seen each other in a long time,” He rakes his brain, trying not to say too much about Jungkook’s love life, “but it’s okay, he’s alright. Just try to understand, he’s not trying to be a grump, he’s just a big teddy bear who pretends to be tough when he’s sad,” He grins, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh,” She nods adorably, pitying Jungkook, “I won’t,”

in the nick of time, Jungkook comes back with a receipt and mumbles something about the poor management in the convenience store. Jimin notices how Yona looks at him with sympathetic eyes but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too wrapped up in his phone to see that a 9-year-old is pitying his dysfunctional love-life.

It doesn’t take long before the four of them arrive at the skating rink and Jimin is helping, Juda, Yona’s sleepy 5-year-old brother out of the car. Yona takes the liberty of escorting her self out and walking over to Jungkook.

“Hi,” She looks up at him, not even a little intimidated by his towering stature over herself.

Jungkook looks around, as if she’s talking to someone else. “Hi,” He gives her a small wave, “it’s Yona, right?”

“Yes,” She nods, walking by his side, “uncle said your girlfriend skates, do you skate too?”

Jungkook mentally cringes, bracing himself for whatever Jimin told this little girl about his personal life. “No, I’m a boxer, she’s the skater.”

“Ahh, ice skating is prettier than boxing, you should ice skate too,” She looks back at Jimin and Juda walking side by side, wondering if she should walk with them or stay with Jungkook. Just when she was about to further judge Jungkook’s life choices, Jimin and Juda catch up. Jimin leads the four of them to the skate rental booth where Jungkook avoids eye contact with the girls behind the counter. It’s hard enough to be in your environment, let alone be surrounded by couples and families skating to their hearts content. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like he should even be trying to enjoy himself after what he did to you.

Jimin and the kids get their skates on, but Jungkook tells them to go ahead without him. The more he sits here, the less he wants to be here.

“We decided to come and skate for a little bit, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your invitation, I didn’t think I’d be able to come.” You and Harmony skate out onto the ice.

Lucas stands at the edge of the rink, smiling. “It’s okay, I’m here with my family so don’t sweat it, hey! You wanna practice a routine, for old time sake?”

“There are way too many people to be practicing a routine. Besides, I’m already sore from practice yesterday.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? I thought you told me he skates with you sometimes,” He skates a circle around you, a toothy grin on his face, “I want to meet him.”

“He was busy,” You lie. You don’t know where Jungkook is or what he’s doing, “It’s just us.″

Somehow, he believes you and skates off with his family while you breathe.

“You lie,” Harmony shakes her head as if to say shame on you.

“What was I supposed to say? I’m not gonna burden him with my personal problems.”

You two go back and forth until she surrenders, claiming she’ll leave you a Jungkook’s relationship out of her mouth for the rest of the day. You highly doubt she can but you appreciate the effort.

Nononononono—why is he here? And blonde. Your eyes widen, your palms get sweaty, just seeing him affects you. You’ve missed him. Judging by the way he’s sitting on the bench with his skates beside him, he looks sad. Who is he here with?

”Y/n, Harmony, hey!” Jimin skates over to you with two little kids by his side, they’re so cute. “What’re you two doing here?”

”Jimin? Hi, fancy meeting you here, we decided to come last minute,” You’ve connect the dots now, “who are these two cuties?”

“I’m babysitting my niece and nephew,” He holds both of your hands and the both of them say a shy little greeting, “say hello guys,”

“Hi,” Yona waves at you two and you greet her with a bright smile.

Jimin glances back at Jungkook who has yet to notice you. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” You nod.

“Harmony can you please watch them for a second?” “Me? Um, I guess but-”

You skate to the edge of the rink and Jimin follows, you already anticipating what this conversation is about.

“Jungkook is here.”

“I know, I saw him,” You deadpan.

“Look, I know what happened between you guys and he probably doesn’t want me to say this, but he’s been the biggest bitch since you two split, I’ve never seen him so at odds with himself.”

“What am I supposed to do about that? That’s not my fault.” You frown.

“I’m not saying that you need to do anything,” Now he understands what Jungkook meant about your infamous tone. “I just wanted to let you know, I figured you haven’t talked.”

“I’m sorry,” You hold your face in your hands, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just have a lot on my mind and I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with him today.”

“Maybe you two can talk, I’m not saying you should get back together but maybe talking face to face will help you find common ground?”

That’s advice that you know you should take but the thought of talking to him makes your stomach uneasy. It’s easier to ignore him, erase him from your life while you figure out what you want. You’re very childish in the aspect of talking things out, he is too.

“Here he comes,” Jimin looks over at Jungkook who is slowly approaching you two, “I’ll give you two some space-”

“Jimin, I swear, if you did this on purpose!-” Your threat is cut short when he skates away and Jungkook skates up to you. As if you don’t even see him, you quickly skate away, uninterested in anything he might have to say.

Jungkook knows he can’t possibly out-skate you. He mumbles a few curses before skating over to Jimin and the kids as frustrated as ever. For a moment, he almost changed course because Harmony, his biggest hater, is with them and she is one of the last people he wants to see.

“Jungkook, hey,” Jimin sighs, dreading the angry frown in Jungkook’s brows, “I’m glad you decided to-”

“Did you know she was here?” Jungkook cuts straight to the punch, not paying any mind to Harmony whose staring at him as if he’s a mass murderer.

“No,” Jimin shrugs, voice low in order not to alarm the kids who are skating near by, “you know I would have told you.”

“I’ll be in the car.” He skates off, anxious to get off the ice but he’s stopped when another skater bumps into his shoulder.

“Sorry!-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shrugs, but just when Jungkook was about to leave the guy gives him a weird look.

“Wait, what’s your name? You look so familiar,”

“Jungkook,” He responds with a bit of impatience, “I don’t think I know you from anywhere, sorry-”

“You’re Y/n’s boyfriend! She showed me some of her pictures pictures,” Lucas smiles but Jungkook’s eyes darken, “I’m Lucas, we’re competing in pairs again next season, I’m sure she’s told you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know, probably slipped her mind,” You haven’t mentioned it on purpose. Then again, how could you? You haven’t talked in weeks.

Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse, he meets your partner, and he’s not ugly,

“She said you couldn’t come because you were busy, did you come to surprise her?”

“Something like that- I’m sorry, I gotta go.”

“Okay, well...nice to meet you,” Lucas waves him off but Jungkook doesn’t pay him any mind.

He thought this might go differently, why did he think that? As soon as he saw you, that tug in his heart came back, that desire to be around you came back. When you walked away, it made him feel like crap, you didn’t even want to look at him.

While he’s skating off to the side to leave the rink, he sees you taking off your personal skates and putting them in their bag. Of course, your caddie is right next to where his heavy black boots are. He enters the room opens the caddie with the little pass-code they gave him when he rented the skates. You spare him a glance as you tie your sneakers and he sits to get his shoes on.

“Did you have to ignore me like that?” He decides to speak up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You frown, “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Since when did you start caring where I go?” He bites back. “You’ve been ghosting me for fucking weeks and suddenly I’m not allowed to go out?”

“I didn’t want to see you...I was doing so good, I was forgetting about you.” You lean back, not giving him eye contact.

”Wow, just what I wanted to hear,” He thought you would say something like that but he didn’t expect you to be so blunt.

“You can’t say you’re surprised, can you?”

“No, but the least you can do is talk to me.”

”Fine, that’s fair. What do you have to say?” You stand to your feet, your bag tight in your hand/

”Believe it or not,” He gets up to lean on the wall behind him, “I love you, so I'm letting you drag me along and make all of the rules but I’m just asking that you communicate with me, I need to know what you want,” He tends to ask this question when he’s most desperate for your good side to emerge.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m not the one going around making decisions that hurt our relationship, not recently anyway.” You throw a jab at him, you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been succeeding for weeks now, it’s actually starting to get to me, mentally.” As he says that, an unsuspecting few individuals come in to get there things.

“Can-” You pause and walk over to him to eliminate the awkward distance, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

His spirits brighten a little because at least you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you haven’t even attempted to do that until now. So when he stutters out an “okay”, his feet move as soon as yours do. He’s walking right next to you and you find yourself keeping your arms crossed, away from his hands that you would normally be holding. By the time you walk out to the rink, Jimin is still with the kids and Harmony is gone, probably in the restroom. You find a secluded area near the concession area and take a seat, he does the same right across from you.

“Do you want to break up?”

He puts it out there. He’s never been the one to hesitate, especially when his heart is on the line.

“What do you mean?” You swallow, not expecting to be confronted with that question.

He almost scoffs because you’re having a similar reaction to his reaction to you telling him you wanted to take a break.

“Do you not want to be in a relationship anymore? If this isn’t something you’re willing to do anymore, I need you to tell me so I can grieve in peace...I feel really lost right now.”

“Grieve? I’m not going to die if we break up, Jungkook, and I never said I wanted to break up—I never said I didn’t love you either. That’s not what this is about, it’s not about whether we love each anymore, it’s about trust.”

“How can I gain your trust?”

You look around, making sure no one is listening in on you two before mumbling out your answer. “I don’t know...I just don’t trust you, I can’t tell you how to make it up to me because people who screw me over, I normally stay as far away from them as I can.”

All you can think about is the lies from your birth-mother, the betrayal and humiliation that came over you when you found out about your ex. Situations like that always come to mind when the subject of trust is mentioned. You’ve been hurt and Jungkook knows that, he knows when you feel like you can’t trust someone, you shut down. You want nothing to do with that person, your pain blinds you—its your character flaw.

“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now,” You mumble, nibbling at your bottom lip.

“Yeah, I know.” He scoffs, a look of disbelief that turns into an understandable shrug of his shoulders.

“I’ve always thought of you as someone I didn’t deserve, you know that,” He glances down at his twiddling fingers, “when we got together, you changed me and I’m so grateful for that...I was such a shitty person before I met you- I mean, I’m sure you think I’m shitty now but I was way worse.” It surprises you when you see tears welling at his eyes that he quickly wipes away, tattooed fingers getting a bit wet.

“Jungkook,” You lay a hand over his with sympathetic eyes, “I still love you.”

“Seriously?” He glances up at you, surprised.

“Yes...You hurt me, you made me feel stupid and I’m not over it...But I never forget those times where I made life difficult for you, you never made me feel irredeemable. No matter how awful I acted, you never made me feel like a burden. That’s more than I can say about a lot of people in my life.”

The more you talk this out with him, the more you realize how harshly you’ve been treating him. It doesn’t change how you feel about your relationship, but it does open your eyes to the standard you’ve been holding him to. You don’t know if you’re ready to start again.

“Well, I have to be honest with you,” He looks at you through his dirty blonde locks, “it still hurts like hell to have you treat me like a stranger. That shit is painful, even for me.”

“I’m sorry,” You murmur out an apology before you can really think about it, “I’m just upset at you is all...” Slowly, you take your hand off of his and your eyes wander back to his dear-like eyes.

“Everyone’s telling me I should let you go but I don’t want to. I just need to know that you’re willing to wait for me, and to work on yourself...”

“I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever it takes for us,”

Shortly after that day, you found yourself thinking more and more about your future. It made you cringe at one point, what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Whatever you planned to do, you always imagined Jungkook would be by your side. Now, you’re coming to terms with the fact that things may not go as planned.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Lucas calls your name from outside of the dressing room.

”What are you doing in here? This is the woman’s locker room,” You open the door, now fully dressed in your new leotard.

”We’re the only ones here,” Lucas stands with a matching outfit, far less sparkly as yours.

”Why does she always pick these leotards for me? You always get the toned down looks-” You walk over to the mirror, furrowing your brows, “Oh, actually, this one is kinda nice.”

“She knows you’re the most dramatic out of the two of us, maybe that’s why,” He shrugs his shoulders before quickly running back out into the ballet studio. Your least favorite part of your career is the ballet lessons, it’s the most grueling.

“Come on out, Y/n, we only have the studio for the morning so we need to use our time wisely.”

“Sorry,” You walk out with an urgency, “the costume fits okay, a little snug but it’s doable.”

Coach gives you a knowing look, she’s been floating the idea of a diet around. As committed as you are to your craft, dieting is one thing you don’t think you need to do well. You try to stay fit but sometimes you’re more concerned about your dwindling love life than you dress size. The ballet instructor emerges from around the corner and you cringe, the next few hours are about to be painful.

Yet, as the class progresses, your thoughts drift farther from the positions and you find yourself zoning out completely.

At one point in time, you couldn’t imagine being without Jungkook. Out of all of the people who’ve come and gone out of your life, he stayed. He became your best friend and your first love.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, please, just let me go home,” You sat on the hotel room floor, hair pin in your hands and a painfully cold ice bag on your ankle, “...I can’t go back out there.”

She stands with crossed arms, her unchanging expression not doing anything for your emotional state.”Y/n, you are a professional, and do you know what professionals do?”

”No.”

“They finish the competition, no matter what. You need to stay for the judging, “

“Why? I fell on my biggest jump on live television. Cindy. I look like an amateur...There’s no way in hell they’ll even consider placing me. That means I’m done for, I might as well kiss nationals goodbye.”

”That was the last program, you still have a chance-“

”Not after Charlotte’s routine! You said it yourself, I had to be flawless or Charlotte would take my spot in the qualifying team, there was no room for error. This is the one time it had to be perfect...” You use the bed to help you up and you sit down n the edge of it.

”It won’t be perfect every time. You work harder than any girl I know, and not just in this sport, you work hard at whatever you do and you support yourself, you’re the only girl I know who’s parents aren’t paying for you to be here. You deserve to be here, you made one mistake, one. It’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Cindy takes a seat beside you, a comforting hand going to your shoulder, “these things happen.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. Cindy is trying her best to talk you off of the ledge but you’re very much still there. She says you work so hard, but what do you have to show for it? You’re doing this alone a majority of the time. Your family only comes to support you sometimes, they don’t have a lot of free time to spend on your hobby. Your iceskating is a glorified hobby to them, they won’t say it but it’s true. After they told you to pick a major and find a good paying 9-5, they stopped paying for your iceskating. They’re paying for school but that’s it, you’re supporting yourself in every other aspect. That gave you all the reason to try to prove to them that you were an exceptional athlete. To prove to them that you did it all on your own, that’s your only goal. Yet, the more you reach for that, the farther you get from it.

”Listen, I need to check on the other girls, alright? I hope you reconsider.” She pecks your forehead, a motherly affection that you’ve come to appreciate from her. She is like a mom in some ways. She cares for the entire team, and she would never say it, but she has a particular soft spot for you. She can see how much you want this, how the ice can take you to a different place.

You were meant to do this, she always tells you that. She saw the fire in you as soon as she accepted you on her team. Your passion attracted her to you, you never stopped, you had so much drive. Some people are meant to fight tooth and nail for what they want, sometimes you have to ask yourself, why do I have be one of those people?

Ignoring your better judgment, you packed your bags and took the 2-hour drive back to your apartment. All while you were fleeing the city to seek refuge at home, you received multiple phone calls from Jungkook but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. When you got home, you took off your tracksuit and sank face first into your coach.

As much as you wanted Jungkook to come to the competition, you insisted that he stay and take that job. He hasn’t been boxing as much so any extra art job he can take, you encourage him to take it. He told you he’d streamed the competition while working on the mural at a nearby bar. His heart sank when you took that fall. You put hours of practice into that routine and perfected it, he had seen you do it flawlessly several times.

All he wanted to do was hug you and tell you that you did well but all he could do was hope that you weren’t beating yourself up. He could only imagine how devastated you were and to not be able to be there for you, he couldn’t stand it. He finished up the mural and you had finally texted him saying, ‘I came home early.’ He went straight to your apartment with the big pink bunny he bought for you, you need it even more now.

”Hey, it’s me,” He opened the front door and announced himself softly and walks further inside.

The television barely illuminates the living room but he sees you laying on the couch. He sits the bunny down behind the couch so you can’t see them before walking around to greet you in your depressing state.

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, baby,” He rests a hand on thigh and kisses your cheek, “you must’ve known how much I was missing you,” His attempt to make you smile goes painfully unnoticed.

He bites at his bottom lip in thought. “Did something happen?...”

You swallow the lump in your throat and finally look him in the eyes, “Did you watch my second program?”

“I did, you looked beautiful-”

“I’m quitting.”

He turns his whole body to you, brows deeply furrowed like a cartoon character. “What?”

You cover your face with a pillow, successfully hiding your tears, “I’m calling Cindy to tell her I don’t want to do it anymore, I quit.”

“Woah, wait, why?” He takes the pillow from you to see your face, “Y/n, calm down, what’s going on? Tell me what happened.”

“I- I didn’t make the national team, that was my only chance until next year. All my hard work went down the drain and everyone saw me screw up..” You wipe your tears with your sleeve.

“Hey, it’s okay, you cry if you need to,” He pulls you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest, “I know this is tough for you but it’s not the end of the world, it’ll get better.”

You pull away from him as if he were suddenly hot to the touch and bury your face into the arm of the couch. “You wouldn’t understand, the pique of my career was riding on this, and I blew it. It feels like the end of my world, okay?”

You know your words are muffled by the couch, that’s probably for the better anyway. “T- that’s just how I feel...”

He doesn’t pry any further after that. He knows there’s not much he can say to change your mind right now. Instead, he scoots closer to your side and places a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he waits for you to continue.

“I have nothing if I lose this, there’s all this pressure on my shoulders and its tearing me apart...” You turn to wipe your face and sit up. “I love skating, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do...if I stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You’ll never forget that night.

He lifted you into his lap and kept his arms tight around you. “You’re so much more than just your skating. You’re so good at but it’s not all that you are.” Jungkook has a way of talking you off of the edge but that night, you were especially down on yourself.

“Yes it is...”

“No it’s not,” He sighs, “look, I know what it feels like to find your identity in something and then all of a sudden, that something is gone...When my portfolio got rejected, I felt like a failure. My family never got behind the boxing thing, so I’ve always tried to find another way to support myself just in case for whatever reason it doesn’t work out...I didn’t start realizing that until recently. I’m constantly torn between giving up one dream for the other but I want to do both, you actually inspire me to do both.” You furrow your brows, briefly abandoning your own issues to listen to him.

“You work so hard and you’re showing your family that you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, and you know what? You’re doing amazing. Tonight was just a bad night, it happens.” He squeezes you tight and you do the same, arms fastened around his neck as if it would kill you to let go.

You didn’t need to say anything after that. You settled your mind and you were no longer at the edge, you were still close, but not there. With your head resting over his shoulder, you try to peek over the couch to see what he dropped back there when he walked in.

“Hey, what’d you think you’re doing?” Jungkook leans forward and your grip around him is loosened so you can no longer look back there. “You think I got something for you?”

You look down a bit embarrassed that he caught you, “Well, yeah...you did, didn’t you?” You smile for the first time tonight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally.

He was going to tease you for wanting your gifts even though you just had a meltdown. But how could he? He wants to keep this smile on your face for as long as possible.

“Sit,” He lifts you off his lip and back to your previous seat on the couch, “no peeking.”

You hold your hands over your eyes, excited even thought have no idea what it might be.

“Okay, open.”

When you move your hands to see you squeal in excitement. “Oh, Jungkook! It’s so cute!” You stand up to take the pink bunny that’s almost more than half your size. “Thank you,” You lean into him with the bunny between you two, “it’s so big and soft, like you.”

“Yeah I know,” He sways from side-to-side with you in his arms, “you feeling better?”

You muffle your sigh into the stuffed animal, “I still wanna quit.”

“Oh stop,” He pulls the from your grip and tosses it onto the couch, “you’re just being bratty now,”

“No I’m not,” You whine, the issue still very fresh, “I’m still sad...I just really like my gift and I’m happy to see you...But I am still upset.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” He lays on the couch and beckons you into his arms to lay on his chest, “let’s cuddle you until you feel better then, will that help?”

“Maybe...”

You’d be lying if you said you could live without that side of him.

A few days later, you’re surprised you hadn’t heard from him. But when you get back from the gym with a missed call from him and a solemn text to ‘call back when you can’, you actually call him back.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong. Thank you for calling me back.”

His voice sounds relaxed but a bit anxious.

“Did you need something?” You sigh, pouring your boiling water in your mug.

“Are you free to go with me somewhere at 11? And then maybe, we could grab dinner? Just-...Don’t be mad, please.”

Anxiety bubbles in your chest.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I signed us up for couples therapy.”

“You did what?” Somewhere in your mind, you had wanted him to bring this up—you never imagined that he actually would.

”You said we don’t know how to work on ourselves together, I read that therapy helps with that. Will you go with me? If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again I swear.”

“Jungkook...I appreciate the effort, I really do, but how did you find this therapist? Do you trust them?”

”Of course. He has great reviews online and my-...Well, my mom found him actually.”

You pause, a bit taken aback. He talked to his mom about your relationship and he took her advice about seeing a therapist? He must have really taken your words to heart about getting help.

“Can you pick me up?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in 20.”

When he picked you up, you were reminded just how well he could clean up. Sure, he always dresses so well and smells amazing, but he’s different today—you can tell he put in a lot of effort. You’re glad you decided to do your makeup and where a nice sundress, you would have felt terribly under-dressed.

“Hi, how can I help you?

“Hi, we have an appointment for Jeon at 5, with Seojoon.”

You stand next to Jungkook at the front desk, your hands tightly clutching your purse. It’s hard to not think the woman is judging you and Jungkook for being here. She’s probably seen hundreds of people come into this office but something in you can’t shake the feeling. She directs you two to the waiting room and says he’ll come get you two in a few minutes.

“So,” You begin, glancing at Jungkook, “I’m nervous...”

“Me too.” This is new for the both of you. In only a few seconds, who you assume to be Seojoon emerges from the hallway and you look at him a bit wide-eyed.

“Hi, Jungkook, Y/n, are you two ready?”

“Oh, um, yes.” You stand up in sync with Jungkook, already wanting to run out of here but you resist.

You have to admit that the office is really nice, not stiff and sterile looking, the energy is very calming. Seojoon opens the door to a cozy-looking room with tons of natural sun light. There’s warm-rose colored couch that you assume is for ‘the couple.’

“Alright, you can take a seat right there, make yourselves comfortable.” He smiles, taking a seat and you two do the same.

“So let’s get right into it. What brought you two here today? If you could both tell me your separate answers, that would be great.” Despite Seojoon looking at you directly to presumably go first, you divert your eyes and look at Jungkook to say something first.

“Well, we’re- I think we’re going through a lot right now and I just want to save our relationship.” Jungkook sits back, resting against the arm of the couch as he gazes at you to give your answer.

“What about you, Y/n?”

You glance down at your lap, feeling very out of your comfort zone and not confident enough to verbalize what you would like to say. Alas, you try.

“I feel the same way, we’re not in a good place and I’m confused about what to do-...I just want what we used to have.” You confess a bit of your true feelings but ignore the longing look Jungkook gives you.

“When did you start feeling like the relationship was changing?”

“Fairly recently. We were fine, at least I thought we were until I saw him with another girl back in an old lifestyle that I thought he gave up...”

Seojoon diverts his attention away from you and to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you want to share a little bit about that?”

“Not really,” He answers honestly at least.

“Why not?”

“To be honest, I don’t know why she keeps throwing the same jab at me. I’ve told her the truth but she doesn’t want to hear it. I went out that night,” He almost glares at you, “I didn’t plan to. I ran into an old friend and I just-...I thought it was harmless and I got caught up...”

Seojoon scribbles something down. “Okay, so can you fill me in a little bit. Are we talking about unfaithfulness? Addiction?”

“Unfaithfulness,” You interject. “he said he didn’t cheat on me but...” You mumble, your confidence faltering for some reason. “It’s hard to believe that.”

“But you think he did so you have some distrust. Were you unfaithful, Jungkook?”

“It doesn’t matter if I say I did or I didn’t, she thinks I did.” He shrugs.

”Y/n,” Seojoon puts an end to the death stare you had on Jungkook, “can you tell Jungkook what cheating looks like to you?”

”Not sleeping with her doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat on me. Letting her put her hands on you- And I don’t care if it was just a kiss! You shouldn’t have been in that situation, and for me to have to see it on social media? I could have killed you I was so mad. You should ask Jungkook what cheating is to him. We obviously have different standards for defining it...”

”What does cheating look like to you, Jungkook?” He heeds your suggestion without any push-back.

”To me,” He hesitates, feeling a bit scrutinized, “it’s when a person violates the intimacy of the relationship by giving it to someone else.”

“What kind of intimacy?”

“Emotional, physical, every kind,” He turns to you, “I wouldn’t do thingst that I do with Y/n with anyone else, not by choice-”

“Yes you would! You did...Are you trying to tell me that you were assaulted? That she forced her way on you?”

“I was blitzed! I don’t fucking know. All I do know is that she got on top of me and I pushed her off. That’s it. I swear, if anything else happened, I don’t remember it.”

“I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, to even allow another girl to even get close to touching you like that...It was a slap in the face.”

Seojoon’s ears perk up at the mention of your past. “Did you have to go through a similar situation in a previous relationship?”

“Yes and he knows this. I was being cheated on before and the guy had a literal baby on the way throughout our entire relationship...It was traumatizing.” It stings his ears to hear you say that. But it’s true, he knows your past and he didn’t let it stop him.

“What happened must have triggered you,” You nod to yourself, “but you’re here to try to work through forgiveness and build trust. If you two are comfortable with it, I’d like you do do two exercises; one here and one when you’re alone. The first one that you’ll do here, I need you to face each other, preferably close, and I have some questions for you two to ask each other.”

“Like this?” Jungkook answers instantly and turns to you, getting closer to you than he has in weeks. You face him slowly, eyes wavering a bit. His face has always been a soft-spot for you, staring at him makes you feel weak.

“Actually,” Seojoon stands up, gesturing for you to do the same, “two chairs might be more comfortable, yeah? Let’s go to my other room.”

You follow Seojoon to a small room with three chairs a small table in front of them. Jungkooks pulls seat out so they’re facing each other. When you look up to acknowledge him with deliberate eye-contact, for a moment he thinks you might be softening.

“I want you all to start with ‘I’ statements, tell your partner how you feel or how you felt in this case. Try to maintain eye-contact and truly listen to each other.”

“I’ll go first,” You volunteer because you want to get this over with.

“I feel alone and helpless when you go back to your old habits, I feel like you’re hiding things from me...” You find a way to keep your eyes-locked to his.

“I’m not asking you to be perfect but I just want you to make me feel special to you...Like you wouldn’t dream of being with someone else. Because I don’t think of loving anyone else, and trust me I’ve tried to imagine it but I can’t,” You bite your cheek to keep from crying, “you make it so hard to trust you. You don’t listen and you don’t change until it’s too late.”

Being emotionally inept is something you are both too good at. It’s difficult for you to share your true feelings with a clear mind, but when you do, you can never guess what will happen next.

“I feel trapped by you. I know I fucked everything up, okay? You don’t have to keep reminding me.” His tone is harsher than you anticipated.

“I’m trying to put in the fucking effort to help us, and I’m giving you time. But when you tell me you still want me but you won’t even let me come around, it’s confusing. You’re confusing, that’s just how I feel.” His brows furrow and you notice Seojoon watches the exchange intently.

“But I miss you and I want you back, I don’t want to take a break,” He leans forward with his hands firmly gripping your knees over your dress, “I know you think I’m an asshole but I try to change, I’m trying, you know I wouldn't bring you to this if I could think of any other way to prove that to you.” The strain in his voice only stirs more emotions inside of you.

“Jungkook,” Seojoon calls his name softly and Jungkook looks over as if he forgot he was there, “try not to engage in any physical, okay? It can be overwhelming.”

“Sorry,” He takes his hands from you and sits back, “that’s all I want to say.”

“Alright, well, um,” Seojoon clears his throat, eager to break the tension up a little bit, “unfortunately our session is up but I want to give you two a list of exercises and talking points. I know this was a consultation appointment but I want to give you some things to work on at home. I’ll have Kelly type up your homework, alright?”

“Okay, thank you,” you both thank the therapist but you get up with an urgency and leave the room before Jungkook can follow you. When you make it out to the waiting room, you spot the bathroom and you bolt to it. Before you have to spend a car ride with him, you need to get your emotions together.

“Mr. Jeon,” The receptionist calls him from the hall, “this is for you, you can bring it back to the next appointment for a discount.” Jungkook halfheartedly thanks her before going to the car. He doesn’t even know if there will be another session. He needs to smoke before you come out and you’ll freak if he smokes while you’re in the car.

“Why did I come here...” You look at the mirror and frown, you look so rough. It was nice to get everything out in the open but you knew he’d get intense eventually. Only when the toilet flushed did you remember that there were multiple stalls in here. When you look away from the mirror to fumble through your purse, just trying to avoid talking to her.

”Hi, how are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Oh god, nervous, I’m nervous. Me and my husband, we’re newly weds, our appointment is in five minutes and I really don’t know what to expect. Did you have an appointment with your partner?”

“I did,” You sigh, “it was-...It was fine, don’t be nervous.” In your attempt to comfort her, you find your self in a highly hypocritical position. “Me and my boyfriend, we’re different so ours was a little- A little chaotic but I think it helped a little,” You hesitate, “I don’t know.”

“That makes me feel a little better, hopefully my husband behaves himself,” She tosses her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and smiles, “well, it was nice meeting you.”

It takes you a moment but you gather the strength to wave goodbye and go face your boyfriend.

”Excuse me, Miss, I think your husband forgot to grab this.” The receptionist waves you over and hands you a little folder.

”Oh,” You try to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. he’s not my- We’re not married.”

”Oh, I’m sorry! He only put his last name on the appointment so I thought it was your name as well. Sorry about that, have a great rest of your day.” She bids you farewell with a flustered smile.

When you walk outside, you see Jungkook leaning against the car. You thought he might’ve been smoking but you can’t detect any small. That’s a relief.

”You feeling okay?” He questions gently.

You nod, hopping in the car with the desire to be home already. He gets in the car and glances at you from the corner of his eye, he worries that this might have been too much for you.

“Where do you want to eat?”

“There’s a ramen place down the street, that’s fine with me.” You suggest, eyes trained on your phone.

The air in the car isn’t tense or stiff, its just quiet. There’s a lot to unpack from the session and you figured Jungkook was thinking through it too. That’s why when you two arrived at the ramen shop, took your seats, and placed your orders, the silence was getting to be a bit too awkward for you.

“I like the new hair, you’ve never gone this blonde before,” You glance up at him, trying to start a conversation, “it looks good.”

“Thanks, it was an impulsive thing. I heard you decided to get back into pairs,” He brings the coke to his lips, “I was surprised to hear that.”

“Oh, yeah,” You figured he would find out soon, “I’m back with Lucas for the season.”

“Good for you,” That’s not a reaction you were expecting from anti-pairs-skating Jungkook. Then again, you know him well enough to know that he’s probably keeping his true opinion to himself.

“The receptionist gave this to me,” You pull the paper out of your purse and show it to him, “I think it has additional information.”

“Let me see,” You hand it to him, “hm, soul-gazing? What the hell is that...” He reads over the description and it makes him giggle. “Nonverbal communication between lovers, allows couples to explore intimate places in the relationship. We do this already, but it’s a little more than eye contact,” He recalls those dreamy moments that he used to share with you so often, gazing at you with a smile.

“We can try that later maybe,” You avoid his smile with a glance out the window.

“Okay. So, about the session today, I hope you understood where I was coming from...I didn’t expect to say all that, I’m sorry if it was too much.”

“Don’t apologize, I wanted to hear how you felt.”

“I’m sorry,” He extends a hand out on the table, hoping you’ll take it, “I’ve thought about what I’ve done and I’ve tried to repent for it. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But just tell this once, you miss us, don’t you?”

“I do, Jungkook...It’s just, I’m in a tough spot and I don’t- I don’t want to disappoint anyone or myself.”

“You’re talking about your friends or your family?” He frowns at the thought of either party trying to discourage you.

“My family doesn’t know anything about this, it’s my friends who are concerned for me. They saw me get hurt and they don’t want to see it happen again, they want me to be happy.”

“Don’t listen to them, all they do is talk shit about me and try to tell you what you need. The only people who have a say in this relationship is you and me. We choose what makes us happy, not them.”

“But I’m not happy,” And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still being judged, “I’ve actually been depressed when I think about us, when I think about what we used to have and what we have now, how did this happen?”

“I’m sorry I did this to you,” He sighs when you finally reach out to take his hand, “I never mean to hurt you,”

“I want you back so bad sometimes,” You break, letting your true feelings out to him, “but just because I want it doesn’t mean I should, it’s always been hard for me to separate the two.”

“That never stopped you before,” He flashes that smile, the one you fell so hard for on the roof of his car.

“Now look where I’m at,” You take your hand back, “going to therapy with you.”

Jungkook took you home and sunset had passed, it was already dark. You found yourself inviting him in, hugging him longer than you should have when he was on his way out. Why were you holding on to him so tight? His bomber jacket lands on the floor and you relish in his arms, you haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it won’t hurt to let him in, indulge. It doesn’t take long before you let him kiss you for the first time in weeks. It feels new, it can happen a thousand times and it’ll always feel new.

But then your phone begins to ring and reality washes over you like a cold shower.

“Wait,” You pull away from the kiss and slide off of the counter to his dismay, “I need to get that-”

“Ignore it,” Jungkook cups your jaw, trying to persuade you with longing eyes, “please ignore it-”

“I can’t, it’s my mom, something might be wrong,” You quickly answer the phone and walk into the living room. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home, is something wrong?”

“You forgot, didn’t you? Your brother Leo, you were supposed to pick him up so he could stay with you for the night. me and your dad had to take Milo to his Taekwondo tournament for the weekend.” Your mother stresses over the phone.

“I’m so sorry! Mom, seriously, I totally forgot,” This is the worst possible timing, “doesn’t Leo have his license, he can drive here, can’t he?”

“We have the car. Don’t worry about it, it’s handled now, his friend came by and he’s staying with him.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that crossed my mind,” You can’t help but feel as if you’ve disappointed her by forgetting such a simple thing, “I’ve been busy, I’m prepping for the next season, I’m working and in school, it’s a lot right now-”

The conversation ends with a cold lecture from her and a solemn goodbye when she hangs up. You massage your temples, and look at Jungkook who’s coping with the best part of his day being ruined by a phone call.

“Everything okay?”

“I forgot to pick up my brother, my mom asked if he could crash here but I forgot all about it..”

“When have any of your siblings actually visited you? Except for your sister when she needs a babysitter.” Jungkook always sports a defensive tone when your family comes into the conversation.

“He’s only come over a few times. But he has friends who live over here so that’s normally why,” You take a deep breath. “She sounded frustrated so I know she’s upset.”

”Don’t stress about that,” He comes in close, wrapping his arms around your waist. “your mom shouldn’t beat you up about that, especially since she knows how much you have on your plate.” He smooths down your hair and kisses your forehead gently. That innocent forehead kiss quickly migrated down to your neck and you bite your tongue.

”Jungkook, please,” You get out of his embrace and leave him longing.

"Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you, this isn’t like you. You push me away but never for this long,” He follows you to your bedroom where you kick off your shoes and take off you cardigan. ”If you’re serious about making this work again, you’ve gotta help me out a little here.”

You feel him looming behind you, so close that you feel the warmth of him on your lower-back, or is that his hand?

“You’re here, aren’t you? I’m being really nice right now,” You step away from him, “but you need to stop.”

“Stop what?” He feigns ignorance.

“If that’s what you were hoping for you should just go,” You pick up his jacket and hand it to him, “it’s not happening.”

“Ok, but do you mind if I stay the night?”

You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, debating whether or not that’s a good idea.

“Why? It’s not even that late yet.”

“I don’t want to make the drive home, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” He pleads, those big round eyes helping his case immensely.

“Fine. But you’re on the couch,” He looks a bit disappointed but he was expecting that, “I’m gonna shower, you can wait for me or use the guest bathroom if you want.”

With that, you walk off into your bedroom to get your clothes and then into the bathroom in the hall. Though you hesitated to let him stay, it’s really not a big deal now that you think of it. He’s stayed over more times than you can count so you feel no need to punish him by saying no.

Baby steps.

Jungkook falls into the couch, relieved and anxious—but mostly relieved. He was sure you were going to throw him out. When he hears the shower turn on, he begins to wonder what you might be thinking about, do you want him the way he wants you right now? If so, you’re hiding it pretty well. Just being in your home makes him feel comfortable and happy, that and your presence. You’ll be a while in the shower so he figures a few moments of relaxation on the balcony won’t hurt.

When you step out of the steamy bathroom, you hug your robe tightly to your body. Curious to see what he’s doing you peek out of the hall and see him on the balcony, shirt nowhere to be seen and smoke wafting from the little stick in his finger. Jungkook has always been a temptation, a forbidden fruit so to speak. You had one bite, and that’s all it took.

It’s a warm night, that’s probably why he’s showing all of the neighbors his tattooed glory, you giggle to your self at the thought. You run to your room to slip a t-shirt and shorts on so you can join him, you can indulge him in conversation at least.

“Hey, I was going to get a snack,” You open the sliding door and he looks back at you as he exhales a a cloud, “are you hungry?”

“I’m okay,” He puts it out in the ashtray, “thanks,”

“You didn’t have to put it out for me,” You step onto the patio and close the door behind you.

“I was done anyway,” He says that but he clearly wasn’t, he’s just being sweet, “how was your shower?”

“Good,” You sit beside him, “you can go ahead and shower if you want to, you know where your clothes are.”

“I will in a minute,” He looks out, enjoying the view of the city, “it’s beautiful out here...”

“Yeah,” You smile, reminiscing on the many moments you two have shared together on the balcony.

“So,” Jungkook sighs, probably reminiscing on the same thing, “do you want to do that exercise?...”

“Exercise?- Oh, the eye-contact thing, we can...” You turn to him and he does the same, “so, do we-”

“Shh,” He holds a finger to his lips, “we’re not supposed to talk,”

You swallow, eyes locked on his and his on yours. His eyes are so dreamy and mesmerizing, they always have been. This eye-contact is giving you a great excuse to analyze his face. The little mole under his lip, his cute nose and cheeks—you’re trying not to look at his body but it’s hard to do that right now.

He’s doing the same thing to you. Your eyes, nose, lips, he’s just taking it all in as if your a sculpture at a museum. Looking at each other like this reminds you both to see each other, to really see the human you both decided to love.

“Jungkook,” You know you’re not supposed to talk, “don’t cry...” You thumb the tears away from his cheeks, your motherly habits kicking in.

“Shit,” He wipes his cheeks, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” He’s so emotional, it’s more endearing than anything.

You cup his jaw and kiss the apple of his cheek, then his lips. His hands are almost shaky when he reaches up to hold your face, you lead his hand to your face to let him know that you don’t mind.

“I love you too,” You breath, your head in the nape of his neck, “but I can’t do this, I shouldn’t...”

Once you realize you’re no longer in your own chair but in his, it’s too late to pretend you’re not equally as desperate. It escalates and the best and worst happens.

#quarters #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x you #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jungkook boxer!au #jungkook au #jungkook ice skatin #I don't know what this ending is lol

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racheloveyunho · 3 years

Text

Till death do us part - 4

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess, bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 1883

TW series: Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug, kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: Obsessive behavior (from Y/N’s and San’s side), threats, swearing and a hint of jealousy.

Here it was, the silhouette I liked the most

"San..."

He hugged me tightly as if there was no tomorrow. I noticed how he was sweaty and out of breathe, probably from running to get to me faster.

I breathed in his unique scent, it was woody scent, something fresh but still manly. I felt safer with him, everything was easier when he was by my side. I didn't want to let him go and my feelings seemed mutual as he tightened his grip on my waist.

I was like a piece of metal attracted to a magnet.

We sat down on the bed and he let me cry my heart out, listening every word I had to say. I told him my story, my conflictual relationship with my father, how harsh he was with me and my brother since my mom passed away and my arranged wedding with this Hwang Jinyoung.

We talked for two good hours about my problems but also about the future we both wanted.

As time went on, I started to feel sleepy, my eyelids were heavy and my mind was cloudy. I slowly closed my eyes until I fell into a deep sleep into San's arms. He gently patted my head to help me fall asleep.

"Don't worry Y/N, I will protect you from now on."

San hummed a song before falling asleep by Y/N’s side.

----------------------

Chapter 4

I woke up in the same room I felt asleep on. The unusual walls made my heart ache at the thought of what had happened between my father and I. I knew deep inside me that there will be no turning back with my relationship with him but strangely enough, i didn't feel bad about it, I was more concerned about my brother than anything.

"Did you sleep well?"

I looked up and was greeted by this angelical face of his. San was laying on the same bed as me, one of his muscular arm holding my frame tightly. I smiled back and hide my face on his chest, smelling his addictive scent at the same time.

"I did."

It was a weird feeling. I knew almost nothing of San, I met him three times and still... I felt as if I could give him my whole body and soul. I couldn't help but think about what my mom told me when I was still a child.

"Someday you will find someone you can rely on, someone who doesn't need words to know how you feel, someone who understand and cherish you as the most precious thing in the world. You will find this person one day Y/N, I'm sure of it."

My lips came upward in a smile as I remembered my mom's word, they had a new meaning to me since I met San.

His grip tightened a little around me while his other hand was busy, gently petting my hair.

"You are acting like a boyfriend"

"Do you like it?"

"Very much" I smiled, looking fondly at him and before I knew it, San leaned on and kissed me slightly.

His lips felt like feather, there was nothing but sweetness and love in this kiss, his right hand cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb against the soft skin.

When our lips finally moved apart, I looked up to meet his - oh so lovely - gaze.

"You are so beautiful"

"Say the man whom is beauty itself" I giggled softly.

This moment was almost perfect - almost.

My mind was quick to remember about the bitterness of the situation I was in. I looked down sadly, avoiding San's intrigued eyes.

A lot of questions were running on my mind. What will happen from now on? I was still minor and my dad was stubborn, he would never let me escape from his grasp so easily. How will I survive? I didn't even had enough money to stay on this hotel for more than a week.

Unconsciously, I sighed heavily. San took my chin between his thumb and his index and lift my face towards his.

"What is it?" San asked me in a whisper.

"Did you bring your phone with you? I have to call Hana, she must be worried."

After a few seconds, he nodded and gave me his phone. I entered the familiar number and quickly enough, Hana's voice was heard through the phone.

"Y/N!! Is everything okay? I was worried sick! I thought you were coming early in the morning?" Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. I frowned my eyebrows. She was whispering yelling and it was odd since she was always a loud girl.

"Sorry, I didn't wake up. Why are you this quiet?" I suspiciously asked.

"Y/N, I don't think you should come here, your father was there one hour ago and he was beyond furious! He threatened me and my family, saying that he will ruin our lives if he find out we are hiding you from him!" She cried out.

This sentence came before a long and heavy silence where no one dared to talk. My mind was processing this new information while my heart was scolding me for bringing my best friend and her family into a delicate situation.

San was quietly listening to our conversation, his right hand on top of mine while his thumb was gently rubbing the back of my hand..

"I'm so sorry Hana... I didn't mean to bring you into this mess..." I lowered my voice, guilt eating me alive.

"Hey sweety... It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong but... I don't think this is a good idea to go against your father will. He is really scary."

"Are you telling me to came back home and let my father do everything he wants with me?" My throat felt suddenly dry and my heart heavy in my chest.

No answer.

I knew she was just afraid of what could possibly happen to her and her family, she just wanted to protect her loved ones. However, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. She knew how my father was and how hard it was for me to handle this situation.

"I see. Don't worry for me, I'm gonna find a way." I finally stated with the coldest voice I could muster. I didn't let her the time to give an answer and hung up right away.

I stayed silent for a while and so did San.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally looked up at him and sighed with a small smile "Thank you for what you did to me. I owe you one"

"Why are you talking as if you are going somewhere?" he arched his eyebrows before leaning close to me with his signature smirk of his "I'm not planning to let you go away from me, love."

I gasped in surprise "L-love?" I asked stuttering, embarrassed by this sudden pet name.

"Why are you embarrassed about? We just kissed a few minutes ago"

I avoided his gaze and coughed slightly to get rid of the awkwardness "I can't stay here San... You will be in trouble if my dad find out you helped me and I don't want it to happen."

This time, it was San's turn to sight.

"Y/N. Listen to me. I will let you two choices" I frowned but stayed silent to let him continue "You don't know who I am but I can help you. However I won't take you with me if you don't want to. It's up to you. Do you want to stay with me, where I'll promise to keep you safe by my side, or do you want to go back and be toyed your entire life by your father against your own will?"

Silence again.

His face was serious and his voice demanding, It actually made me think I couldn't choose the latter choice - not that I wanted to choose this option anyway.

"Why are you doing this.. I mean, we don't know much about each other and-"

"Kim Y/N, born in Seoul the 25th September 1999 at 3:48. You like horror movies and all kind of sweets, your mother passed away the 4th June and since then, your father had changed completely, leaving you and your brother behind" San said, never breaking visual contact with me "You are the student with the best grades on your class and you are the teacher's favorite and even though you want to attend the prestigious Seoul national college, you don't know what to do in your life yet"

I was astonished, how did he get all his information?

As if on cue, he slipped a hand in my hair "It's been two years now Y/N, no one know you as much as I do. I know every single details about you but now, I don't want to look at your life from far away, I want to be apart of it" He smiled but frowned as I slowly stepped away from him "were you stalking me all this time?" I asked, heart beating fast.

"Come on, I know you are as obsessed over me as I am over you" He laughed before standing up and quickly doing his hair while looking his own reflect on the mirror “I was there every time you talked to your friend about me”

I watched his every move and couldn’t find anything to say. No matter how crazy it sounded, I knew he was right.

"And how are you gonna help me?"

"Your dad isn't all white, quite the contrary" He said "I know enough to tell him to let you be" He added.

"Are you going to... threaten him?" I looked at him through the mirror.

"Why? You don't want me to?" He smiled at me, his back still facing me.

I took a deep breathe.

"No... He deserves it"

He turned around and came closer to me with the widest smirk.

"So... Are you coming with me?"

I watched as the landscape kept changing from outside the window. The spacious car was moving in slow pace in a part of Seoul I never went in.

I knew it was the beginning of something new but everything seemed so unreal, the only thing that kept me back to reality was the warmth of San's hand intertwining with mine.

I quickly take a glance at the driver, his sharp nose and strong eyes made him look cold, a perfect contrast with his tanned skin. I was surprised by how young he was, probably not much older than San and I and obviously both of them were getting along with each other.

I was so focus on looking at the man and wondering who he was to San that I didn't took notice of my staring until I felt San squeezing my hand.

"Y/N...I'm not sure of how I feel about you looking at another man" He pouted cutely to grab my attention back to him. I laughed lowly and gave him a apologetic look "I'm not sure how I feel about you being jaleous while we are not in an official relationship yet" I smirked at him.

"The kiss wasn't official enough for you?" He smirked back "should I give you an other one then? " He asked, his face coming closer to mine.

His lips ghosted over mine but we were interrupted by a loud cough before we could properly touch each other.

"Please San, can you keep your hands for yourself until you both are alone? I don't especially want to see you guys kiss in the back seat of my car" The driver said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Look who is talking" San scoffed "Should I remind you how many times you made out with your girlfriend in front of me?"

The older man let out a dry laugh, his eyes still on the road.

After a few minutes of a comfortable silencex the driver looked at me from the front mirror.

"Your name is Y/N, right?"

"Yes... And you are..?"

"I'm Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa" He said "I'm glad to meet you, San wouldn't shut up and talk about you every fucking day" He laughed, earning another loud scoff from San.

"Watch your mouth, you are older but I'm still the boss here" San growled.

Suddenly, the car stopped abruptly.

"We safely came back to your home sir~" Seonghwa politely stated, not without a hint of teasing in his voice.

San pulled me out of the car, hand still holding mine firmly. I followed him and looked up at the huge mansion in front of us.

My mouth fell agape, this place was way bigger than mine.

"Welcome to your new house" San smiled.

-----------

We are finally starting to introduce the others members!

Also this chapter is a bit shorter, I didn’t even noticed until I checked the number of words but I thought it was better this way, there was nothing to add since the next chapter was already done lol.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!

See you next time~

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2 @xduygu-arsx @joongiebug @leicy0756

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subbing-for-clones · 3 years

Text

The Alpha and The Omega Part 4

Alpha Maul x Omega Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

WARNINGS: Cursing, Mentions of death (bounty hunting), mentions of drinking to be done in the next chapter, reluctant pining

PREVIOUS NEXT MASTERLIST

Maul had stayed in the cockpit much longer than it was necessary, allowing autopilot to guide the Wolf through hyperspace. He was silently obsessing why you had felt the need to call another hunter; another Alpha. He couldn’t explain to himself or anyone else who would be stupid enough to ask why this upset him so much. He remembered what Zeni and Coth had said; Bane got you into the guild and the both of you had traveled around together for a bit over a year, long after your membership had been established with the house. He had been told that you were unmated but he couldn’t stop his mind from wondering if a close comradery was all you had shared with the Duro. The thought left a sour taste in his mouth.

He eventually left the cockpit when he smelled something in your pheromones change, not being able to place it exactly, he ventured out. When he found you, he almost smirked at the sight before him. One he hadn’t ever seen before. The mighty lone Omega had buried herself completely in his sofa bed under the blanket she had lent him. Every few seconds her hand would dart out to snatch a piece of jerky from a plate on the nearby table and pull it under the blanket.

He slowly approached; mind set on taking some of the food for himself but he stopped in his tracks when a low growl rumbled out from the mess of fabric. He took a step back until it subsided. Warily he took another step forward and outstretched his hand earning a second growl that he was sure humans wouldn’t normally be able to make.

He had become familiar with some of the cultural dynamics of the cross subspecies but as for the specific habits and instincts, he was uneducated to say the least. Equally confused as he was humored, he took another step back, gauging the perimeter around you that you suddenly required. He finally decided what the smell you were giving off was; aggression. But not outwardly so, a defensive aggression. One that said back the fuck up, so he did; not without poking the proverbial bear though.

“I understand that this is your ship, and everything in it belongs to you. However,” he watched as you peered out from your wrap, “we have six hours before we reach Hoth and I would like to rest.” He didn’t really need to. He had and could again go, days without sleep. However, he was not one to avoid getting under someone’s skin when the opportunity presented itself.

You eyed him carefully with your eyes narrowed. Finally, ‘the bitch’ gave up for a moment so that you could understand his reasoning. With a huff, you stood with his blanket still wrapped around you and grumbled nonsense under your breath until you reached the door to your room. You glanced over your shoulder just long enough to catch his confused gaze before you turned and entered your sanctuary. Ignoring how he sniffed the air in the path you had just walked. You locked your door and turned on the incredibly dim colorful lights and pressed a remote that played soft music. You continued to grumble about stupid inconsistent cycles. It wasn’t a full-on heat like you normally experienced, more like a nagging annoyance in the back of your mind, dulled needles underneath your skin.

After trying several different placements for the blanket saturated in his scent you finally found one that ‘the bitch’ was satisfied with. Clamoring into your vast array of blankets, pillows and other various soft things you settled in its center and closed your eyes; preparing for the tremors that you were convinced would come. Just as you got comfortable, your vambrace started beeping and an obscenely offensive red light blinked in time with the wretched noise. Growling audibly, you reached for your table and strapped it on to your wrist, violently pressing the answer button.

“Fucking. What?” your teeth clenched so hard they could crack.

“Last I recall you’re the one who wanted to talk. Had a question or something,” the Duro’s head lit up in that blue only holo-comms could emanate. You pinched the bridge of your nose and scrunched your eyes shut apologetically.

“Sorry. Yeah, yeah I do,” you opened your eyes slowly and looked at him, almost hoping he could just pry the information out of your head so you wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

“Well, you gonna ask or what ‘Meg?” he folded his arms across his chest already tired.

“So, I’m sponsoring an Alpha who didn’t know what he was until a few months ago…” you started, hoping that either Zeni or Coth had filled him in in the few days that you’d been gone.

“Heard something about that. I know the guy, did a job with him back before I picked you up. Something about a captured Jedi he wanted to hunt. Didn’t talk much.” Your eyes widened at the new information. “You haven’t told anyone about that bit, have you?”

“The fuck do I look like kid?” he was almost offended at the implication that his lips even held the ability to flap. Even if they could they wouldn’t. The sigh that escaped you was exasperated in your relief.

“So, what about him. Is he fucking with you?” his eyes narrowed further and the last word came out as a protective growl.

“No, no he’s fine but I’m not.”

“’Meg if you don’t start speaking plainly, I swear to Maker I’ll find and kill you both.”

“He smells…. Different. Intense. More so than any other Alpha I’ve ever come into contact with,” you chuckled, “even more than Fett.” His eyes widened and he thought for a moment before responding.

“When was your last cycle? Has he triggered another one?”

“I mean maybe a week or so ago? I wouldn’t call it a new one, feels different. Lighter? ‘The Bitch’ is talking more in my ear and I’m starving. Like, fucking famished.” He nodded with his fingers on his chin looking off to the side.

“Where are you right now and where is he?”

“On the way to Hoth.”

“No, I mean on the ship. Where are the both of you?”

“Oh, I’m in my room; doors locked. He’s in the common,” you glanced at the door like it was possible he could’ve manifested on your side of the durasteel door. The force could do some crazy shit but teleportation wasn’t on the list as far as you knew. Even for a Sith.

“Good. You’re not gonna like the answer ‘Meg. Don’t shoot the messenger,” your eyes snapped back to his projection, waiting for him to continue.

“Someone always smells best, stronger. Mine did, Coth and Zeni got that. Not everyone gets it or waits long enough to find it but I’d put five quarries’ credits worth on the fact that that guys’ your Alpha.”

“W-what? No, that story’s bullshit. That’s not real, is it?” He growled slightly angrily in his response.

“I said.. I fucking had it. It’s why I can’t ever have another. Don’t doubt anything cause you’ve never known it before. Like me saying your Jedi force shits fake. Ignorance I can handle ‘Meg; arrogance I won’t put up with.”

You couldn’t respond. This is not what was supposed to happen. You were going to live your life as the lone Omega, ‘Meg the hunter. Live your life in solitude only occasionally coming to the surface to socialize with your pack members to stave off the inevitable loneliness.

“Sorry, no you’re right. I just, don’t want that? I guess, you just shocked me was all. I didn’t mean to offend you or your Omega.”

He visibly relaxed and sighed as he rubbed his head under his hat.

“Do what you gotta do. Whether that means scenting him, mating, kicking him out now, or waiting till you finish what you started with him. You don’t need to explain yourself. But that’s my best guess to your question kid.” You nodded and stared off for a moment away from the door. You thanked your old friend for his time and his insight before hanging up and rolling over and failing to find rest as the tremors started.

Maul truly had no clue what had crawled into your skin and possessed you. He wondered for a moment if some cousin to Dathomirian magick had made its way into the ship before shaking his head. That would be ridiculous. He had grabbed another of the no less than what guessed were a thousand blankets from the shelf and laid back. He didn’t really try to eavesdrop but when he recognized the voice that was speaking to you, he bristled. He only caught a few words while he passed, faking a trip to the fresher should you be able to feel him through the force. On his way there he realized that you were in fact as affected by his scent as he was yours and that it wasn’t necessarily normal. On his way back he couldn’t hear your words but it sounded like you had received some information that you really didn’t want to hear.

The pheromones that you gave off were those of fear mixed with frustration and anger. He wondered how long you would’ve lasted as a Jedi if they hadn’t thrown you out. Despite his bitterness the overwhelming urge to comfort you assaulted his every sense. He pushed it down with a snarl at himself before stalking back to the cockpit trying to put some distance between the heady smells.

He must have watched you eat at least three pounds of the dried meat hastily while gearing up to venture out onto the frozen wasteland. A small part of him wanted to ask what all this was about with you but the larger part of him knew it wasn’t his business unless you made it his business. He settled for simply asking if you were alright. You threw a sarcastic ‘perfect’ over your shoulder before throwing yourself out into the blizzard.

You had yet again, not permitted him to bring his saber. Jabba usually wanted a head over a warm body but bodies couldn’t pay their debts, and this particular Talz owed him big. He had thought it worth the expense to make an example himself out of this smuggler. Maul was just as frustrated as he had been last time but was silent about it, much to your personal relief. You were in no mood for argument and he no doubt could sense it.

He had landed the ship just outside a large cavern, the tracking fob blinked rapidly, signaling that the one you sought was close by. As you entered the cave you had expected to run into a Wampa or two. Bones of different creatures varying in size had alluded to it being home to one of the creatures. What you had not expected was to walk right into an onslaught of blaster fire.

Maul had force pushed you roughly to the ground a couple meters away from your position; landing you behind a large enough boulder for you to take cover behind. Cautiously, you looked to the side through the bolts to find him taking refuge along the wall behind stone that jut out from the wall with his blaster pointing to the circling, looking to you for approval.

You took a flash grenade out of your utility belt, hit the countdown button and tossed it; taking cover before the blinding light filled the cavern. It must have been cheaper to hire guns than pay Jabba, six humans doubled over covering their faces allowing you to take a few shots. After putting down three yourself fairly quickly you looked over at your companion again. He was firing alright but not hitting a damn thing.

“I thought you said you were ‘quite familiar with other forms of weaponry!’” you shouted over the returned fire in a slightly mocking tone.

His response was only to look at you with wild, angry eyes that made you double over laughing in the thick of the standoff. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. You raised your blaster and took out two more, leaving one man and your quarry. You turned to face Maul and crossed your arms in your seated position behind the boulder smiling toothily at him, nodding your head to the last man.

It took him a few shots but he managed to hit the hired gun square in his chest. You missed the glint in his eye but felt his pride through the force before he covered it again and chuckled to yourself once more. You could see the Talz shaking as he raised his blaster in his trembling hand as he slowly backed up. You pulled out your blow gun and loaded one of your tranquilizer darts. The long needle glinted ominously in the low light of the cavern, Maul watched as you took a deep breath and bring the long tube up to your mouth and wrap your lips around it. The dart flew with a short huff of breath as the Talz turned to run; striking him directly in his spine.

The toxin took hold before the quarry could take another step, dropping to the floor with a thud and a grunt. You stood from your position and made your way over to the first of the dead body guards. Maul went to bind and secure the smuggler while you scoffed at the small number of credits you pulled from the dead’s pockets. They really didn’t get paid shit, and they died for it. You almost felt bad for them; now wasn’t the time to get soft though. They took the job and they paid the price for it, just like you risked each and every job you took. No different from the rest of the pack.

You handed Maul half of the measly amount and one of the better blasters that one of the men carried. He hoisted the Talz onto his back and raised his brow at you before taking what you had offered.

“I told you half of what we make is yours. This falls under that category despite the fact that it’s not technically a bounty prize, I don’t go back on my word once I give it.”

He nodded his head in thanks and followed you back to the ship. Once the smuggler was frozen in the carbonate, you led him back to the cave. He watched as you dragged the bodies of the fallen gunmen to various positions and distances. You made your way back to him and when he opened his mouth to speak you raised your hand to cut him off.

“That was a fucking atrocious display if I’m being honest. Mildly disappointing if I’m being kind,” he snapped his mouth shut with a quiet clink of his teeth. “You can’t bring your saber to the higher paying jobs, as I’ve said, too many witnesses. Do you want to pick off the bottom of the barrel, cheap thieves for your career?” he crossed his arms and glowered at you.

“No, but what would it matter if I only go after those who are wanted dead?” you jut out your hip and rested your hand on it while rolling your eyes.

“You allow yourself to wield a crutch. What if you’re attacked in public? The longer you play the game the more likely it is to happen. You going to flash your pretty red blade and take out an entire town to maintain secrecy or are you going to be smart about it?”

He growled at your logic and took out the blaster you had plucked off of the corpse. You watched him take a few rushed shots before snarling to himself at all of his misses. You silently walked over to him and kicked the insides of his ankles lightly to widen his stance and kicked one of his heels to push it forward a few inches. He allowed you to but not without a glare. You pulled out your own blaster and demonstrated how with your dominant hand you gripped it tightly, pointer finger lined up with the barrel. With your other hand you held your palm to the bottom of the grip and wrapped your fingers around both it, and your other hand to stabilize it; bending your elbows slightly and raising the sights to your eyes.

He followed your movements with the accuracy of a mirror. You didn’t speak until you saw him close one eye to aim, “both eyes open, its more accurate,” you demonstrated again and fired your blaster a single time, hitting the furthest target square between his eyes.

In only three shots, Maul had hit two targets square in the chest, knocking them over. You backed up and watched him practice. It was slow going but after resituating the corpses he knocked over multiple times he had started to get consistent hits on them. When you were satisfied with his progress you lifted a head sized rock with the force and moved it side to side a decent distance in front of him. Moving targets were always a different game compared to stationary ones and the victorious glint in his eyes when he landed a single shot took you back a few years to when Bane was teaching you to shoot.

The twin suns were beating down on you harshly in the desert that stretched out as far as you could see in any direction. The sand here was what water is to the ocean, swallowing up everything in its path. The durasteel of the ship was growing hotter and hotter by the minute under your belly and you could hear Bane curse under his breath. You didn’t have to see him on the ground below you to know his eyes were pointed in the same direction as yours, the massive skeleton of a creature you couldn’t name even if you tried. Hopefully they were extinct or at least, nowhere in the area. It lay against the horizon three hundred meters away, unscathed by your attempted blasts.

“Bane, it’s really hot up here. Can’t I come down and try again tonight?”

“Hell no, next job ‘m gonna need you to cover me from ‘nother building ‘Meg. Either you’ll hit the target or melt onto my ship tryin. Focus, the scope is doin all the hard work for you. Breath like those Jedi taught you over so many years. Take the shot when you let your breath out. Closest thing I ever come to meditation is behind the scope and you’ll do the same now until you make your mark.”

You had taken his suggestion to heart and waited before your next shot, breathing deeply and slowly. Sweat pooled on your forehead before gathering enough to drip down your face and streaming between your breasts as the minutes ticked by. Bane was silent as you focused your shot. With one last deep breath you slowly let the air out of your lungs and squeezed the trigger. You looked through the scope again and saw that you had indeed scorched the beast just below its eye socket like you had been instructed to do. You leapt to your feet and whooped unceremoniously in your gleeful victory. You cast a prideful look down at Bane who never turned to look at you.

“You can come down after you do it five more times.”

Your shoulders sagged and you audibly groaned, the skin on your belly getting ready to blister from the hot hull of the ship. You could have sworn at the time you had heard your literal and figurative cold blooded companion chuckle.

You smiled at the memory as you now spoke the words of your mentor to an all too full of himself Zabrak after he hit the floating rock a single time. “We can warm up in the ship after you hit it five more times handsome.” Just as yours had, his shoulders visibly dropped but he said nothing and carried on his target practice.

When he had accomplished the goal you laid out for him you had reached your limit in the frigid environment. When you left the cavern, the air whipped around you violently while a vicious flurry burned the exposed skin of your face. Snow had piled up even deeper around you and a thick white blanket shielded your view. You hit a button on your vambrace to open the hatch that both you and the Zabrak scurried inside. You shivered wildly as you stripped out of your already soaked outer layers. Blizzards always caught you off guard on Hoth, you hated the planet for a plethora of reasons and would take a planet like Tatooine over this frozen wasteland any day if you had the choice.

By Maul’s body language you assessed that he would as well. His jaw was clenched yet his body still shook of its own accord from the cold. You set a pot on your stove, readying it to brew life-saving hot caf. While the water boiled you had taken first dibs in the sanistream. Under the hot water you thanked whatever gods were responsible for staving off whatever kind of ‘light heat’ you had experienced. Maul barley waited for you to fully exit the fresher before he was stripping off his tunic an indulging himself in the shower just as you had. You bit back a chuckle while you made your way to the cock pit with steaming caf in hand. You watched the blizzard from the safety and heat provided by the combination of durasteel and trans-durasteel walls of the Wolf, allowing your mind to wander.

You had never really been a caf drinker when you were a Jedi. Your master couldn’t drink it and most of the others you surrounded yourself with looked down on the drink despite filling themselves with various teas like your old friend. You had always teased Obi Wan for loving the sugary flowery varieties over any else. Like with many other things it was Bane who introduced you to the dark ‘life sustainer’ as he called it. He laughed at how you scrunched your face up the first few times you drank it but after thirty-three hours awake steaking out a quarry you needed the boost to function.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when you downed the last of your cup and you sighed at the chore of walking the six meters to the kitchen to pour yourself another cup. Like he could read your mind, and he probably could, Maul’s hand extended from behind you and took your mug. He returned a few minutes later, two steaming cups in hand, and took his seat in the co-pilot’s chair. The two of you continued to watch the snow storm in a comfortable silence.

The quiet was broken by an incoming holo-comm. You always found the beeping to be unnecessarily jarring when the air was still. Maul simply leaned back in his seat while you answered it, the top half of your favorite Mandalorian appearing in the familiar blue hue, you grinned cheekily at the man who had half-heartedly tried to court you on multiple occasions.

“Mando Fett,” you teased, “What’s up?” His helmeted head lowered slightly in a silent sigh but your companion quickly caught his attention and he straightened his back again.

“Heard you were rolling around with another Alpha.”

“Mmm, yeah, some of what Zeni spills is the truth. Or at least half true. Heard you were the one who gave him the card.”

Maul nodded his head once in greeting to Jango who returned the gesture.

“Yeah, I did.”

“So what’s going on? Need a hand getting out of a sticky spot or do you come with holo-roses this time?” you leaned back and put your feet up on the dash, taking another gulp of caf while waggling your eyebrows at your fellow bounty hunter.

“Neither actually,” he chuckled, “I know how you love a good hunt and I’ve caught word that the Jawas on some back water planet are offering an unusually high price for Mud Horn eggs. Plus their horns always fetch a nice price, someone’s always ready to buy the hides. I figured I’d extend the invitation to you and your cold-blooded outlaw friend. New guy can come along too of course. What do you say, wanna go have some from away from the office?”

“Hmm,” you animatedly tapped a finger to your chin, “the promise of a good hunt, decent credits and you bring the beer, what’s the catch?” you smiled coyly.

“First off, bring your own booze. Secondly,” he unsheathed a large viroblade, “I say we make it interesting.”

“No blasters?”

“No blasters.”

“You’ll have to pry Bane’s from his cold dead hands.” Jango laughed loudly, “please, he’s not just a gunman, he’s an alpha. All I have to do is poke at his pride a bit and he’d take a few down with his bare hands and his teeth just to put all us younglings in our place.”

You laughed this time and turned to your tattooed companion, “what do you say? Wanna take a break from chasing quarries and go on a hunt for a day or two? It’ll still get you credits.”

Maul took a second to glance around the cock-pit and looked at all the pictures that had been taken from various hunting parties and for the first time in his life he actually had the want to experience something like that. Yes, he had battled and defeated an array of fearsome monsters but it had always been a solo operation and for only the benefits of getting stronger and proving his worth to his master. It seemed like his new peers viewed such acts as a time to be enjoyed and remembered, the promise of credits was an added bonus as well.

“Alright, a day or two wouldn’t put us behind schedule, would it?” his velvety yet raspy voice that you hadn’t heard in hours cut through you like a lightsaber and you caught your whimper in your throat but not without creasing your brows in annoyance.

“No it wouldn’t. you’ll just be stuck with me a little longer.” He shrugged his shoulders in response so you turned your attention back to the image of the other hunter.

“Alright, we’ll be there. Send me the coordinates. We’re on Hoth at the moment so we’ll be there in however long it takes to meet you leaving from here.”

“I’ll wait just for the sake of missing your complaints of taking a head start.” You couldn’t see his face but you could hear the smile in his voice. You pointed a finger gun in his direction, “head start or not I’ll still bag more eggs and more horns than you.”

The both of you laughed as you hung up the call right before the transmitted coordinates synced in your nav computer. Three Alphas, one Omega, and a promising hunt. This is going to be really fun or go horribly wrong. Either way, you’d get some good pictures out of it.

Taglist:

@thundersheild

@gotham-city-uber-driver

@scorpioxsith

#maul x reader #tpm #tpm au #darth maul #bounty hunter #maul #hothunks #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o #star wars au #star wars #maul fanfiction #darth maul fanfiction

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spnasylum · 3 years

Text

My notes while listening to Misha’s comments on the podcast: (grab a snack!)

In light of the most recent fandom drama I decided to listen to *that* podcast and take notes as I went along about what was actually said and then give my take on it as objectively as possible. This is basically an essay so strap in!

He complains about not getting a trailer on set that’s the same as Jared and Jensen’s. Even though he has one that can accommodate 3 people. This was the first point of discussion inspired by opening up the interview with a brief chat about Misha currently being in his camper van and how he’s sleeping in it even though he’s still home in Bellingham. The whole hour and 26 minutes has an undertone of complaining and ego stroking by all involved.

Says he’s sad he didn’t get to be there for the final days of filming.

Seems a little nervous about if friendships made during the shows run will last now it’s over.

Admits he has no plan in place or anything coming up career wise and he’s unsure of his future. This is where he brings up Walker and The Boys and says if he had shows like that to go to he wouldn’t feel SPN ending was so monumental. It is said with a slight tone of bitterness.

Side note: the hosts Alaina and Malik seem to be fine with running with the narrative that Misha was part of the show it’s entire 15 year run. Misha clears this up eventually by saying he joined in season 4.

Misha says that he realized about six years ago that SPN could run as “we” wanted it to, implying he has any say in keeping the show going or not. He asserts that he would have been on the show up until the very end in any case. But he didn’t feel that way the first few years he was on the show. So that makes me think something or someone involved gave him the feeling he could be confident in being in the cast for however long SPN aired. Maybe this was after Sera left? Maybe this was when he agreed to a significant pay cut and demotion? Either way it seems he felt SPN = job security.

Misha doubts he’ll have the feeling of job security again.

Says from around age 11 he wanted to be a politician.

Says he saw “successful, untalented” actors and decided “I can do that”. He realized that was naive and it’s actually not easy to be that successful and by the time he got his career going he was basically just in it for the fame it’s not anything he took seriously.

We find out his wife did a doctorate in gender history... for some reason.

That Marilyn Monroe was some sort of baseline for him about creating a public persona (🤷🏽‍♀️) except for getting cosmetic surgery he points out.

Talk about how he got started. Acting classes, improve groups. Moving between Chicago, DC and LA.

Discussion about the differences and similarities between Hollywood and Washington.

States he got a consultant to help him cultivate a fan base and image to connect with an audience after getting on SPN. Admits that was a double edged sword because an anonymous public start thinking that they really know you and things start getting weird.

Mentions trying to find a balancing act of being authentic and having a private life but still keeping your fans.

He admits that the fan base he grew for himself by seeming accessible has caused him to attract people who don’t have any boundaries. This is when he claims the “dialing it back” in regard to how much he shares and mentions his kids specifically as something he doesn’t feel comfortable with putting out there. Uses the word “unhinged” to describe them.

Malik mentions “crazy fans” who seem to know too much about you and finding out where you are etc. Using the example of fans turning up at an airport wanting autographs and you wondering how they even knew you’d be there and what flight you taking. He asks Misha to share experiences about his own crazy fans.

This is when Misha uses the example about having fans who think that when he tweets something out he’s communicating with them personally.

Alaina then says that in the Supernatural fandom people fight each other to protect Jared, Jensen and Misha and it’s “very bizarre”. She volunteered that people think Misha secretly hates Jared and that it’s not true. Not sure why she decided to direct the conversation to a place that would cause drama and give Misha a chance to play victim.

And then...

That’s when he claims that he was public enemy number one with super fans of the show because he’s taking attention away from Jared and Jensen.

That’s when he brings up the alleged organized attack to take down his Facebook account. He says they reported him for... *pauses... claims to not know what. But that whatever it was “Facebook bought it and took it down”. Facebook deleted/deactivated his account but he eventually got it back.

Side note: Facebook (like all social media) have always been bias when it comes to people with leftist views and let them have free reign on the platform. So he must have done something that they would decide to suspend him. I don’t think J2 fans can be blamed for the content he posts and if it violated any ToS. As we know he can post some inappropriate things on social media.

He then brings up the allegations of him taking money out of his organization. Stating it’s “categorically untrue” is all he brings forward as evidence to the contrary.

Side note: I don’t know why then that there’s no receipts or transparency. Why is his mother a beneficiary, why do people who mention he owns Stands get blocked, why set everything up in Delaware and have your for profit and so called non profit interests so entangled etc etc) I guess fans are just supposed to have faith and take his word for it.

He says that ALL of them (Jared, Jensen and himself) have people who hate them in the fandom. But overall the fandom is lovely and supportive of the cast and each other. Makes an attempt at stating there’s no kind of competition or animosity between he and Jared. I think this is like the 3rd or 4th time in the interview either he or Alaina bring up Jared but keep the focus on how Misha is the one facing “character assassination.”

Finally says that all of them have nasty things done to them and they all have had to consult security because of threats to their families etc, doesn’t specify which faction of the fandom that’s coming from. Mentions people filing police reports in the fandom but doesn’t say regarding who or what. Alaina reacts like it’s the first time hearing of this happening. Misha just goes “yeah!” Then they move on to talking about living situations.

Apparently Alaina and Misha were neighbors in LA but didn’t take advantage of that. She doesn’t live in LA anyone, wants a new adventure.

Misha mentions Bellingham is another thing about his future he’s unsure about and how his kids flourished there.

Brings up not being present with his kids even when he’s home because of work and side projects and that the one thing he’s enjoying right now it spending time with them. That he used to operate from a place of guilt because his kids felt like they only have one parent. He and Malik briefly spoke on how their careers have negatively affected their love lives.

Misha says he’s not really involved with Random Acts or running it anymore. (Ummm... what)

He and Alaina discuss Haiti and Nicaragua for a while.

Says he may try to get into directing. Says he likes having creative control. Mentions he likes doing his art installations.

Admits that getting a bit of success made him very entitled and wanting of special treatment. But claims he’s trying to keep that in check (where?) and he’s just like everyone else (well duh!). But he “trades on his celebrity” to get stuff and it makes him feel dirty (I think everyone with any kind of following does that though so nbd)

Talk of how TV/film is more diverse in telling minority stories these days.

Was asked by Malik if he has any kind of chip on his shoulder career wise and Misha says the chip on his shoulder is being bored. But says he needs to work on being more engaged.

He then abruptly wants to end the interview. Saying he has to pick up his kids. Malik wants another question. He asks how Misha has been hurt or healed by his career.

Misha then brings up the movie Karla. Again admitting to becoming more like Paul psychologically irl. But says knowing he has that type of evil in him somewhere (and says that we all have that in us) made him more empathetic to the human condition.

They then say their goodbyes. End of interview.

——

My takeaway. The worst thing he can think to say the people who don’t like him in the fandom did was trolling to get his Facebook deactivated? Also that people can see the suspicious nature of his businesses? It would be really easy to settle that with actually being transparent about the finances, which they aren’t and not having close family as benefactors though. Also, I can only speak for myself. But I never hated him. I actually loved Castiel (before his character was there just to be there in recent seasons and Cass wasn’t Cass anymore. I think Misha’s need to pander to shippers/stay on the show was a great disservice to Castiel and his arc) I was a huge Misha fan, and participated in RA and Gish a lot. I absolutely adored Misha, I led myself to believe he was the most amazing person in the world, obviously that’s the reaction he wanted to cultivate from us. Unfortunately I learned too much, experienced first hand and heard too much to be able to keep cheerleading for him. I feel bad for the people still under the spell of feeling like it’s their job to keep being defensive and unreasonably loyal to someone who you can’t and don’t really know and only have a superficial “relationship” with. Seeing the ever more unhealthy and toxic lengths people feel they need to go to to prop up his ego etc. The constant investment emotionally and financially that goes into it and the “sunk cost” if you let reality in makes it hard to let go I guess. Even he knows that what he’s done to gain and maintain relevance has attracted what he called multiple times an unhinged fan base he has to try and balance without losing his influence. I think he maybe had or has good intentions but his fame hungry drive and narcissistic personality traits win out in the end. The Heller’s seem to have, as always, taken what was said and blown it out of proportion, twisted things and created their own narrative. I do see them using key words from the interview a lot suddenly though to bully for him. So, I guess the dog whistle to the sycophants worked out. I hope that a time comes where they can have a more healthy relationship with the media and public figures they choose to gravitate towards. We can all get over zealous with things but there’s lines that shouldn’t be crossed. For some that seems sadly unlikely. I hope that Misha does indeed one day get himself in check as he calls it and I can feel comfortable to support him again. But so long as he’s being enabled and not held accountable again that seems sadly unlikely. Even though I do occasionally find myself being drawn in by the facade again a little and quickly retreating because the issues remain the same. There is a problematic dynamic in the Supernatural fandom for sure. That’s why for a long time I opted out and just watched the show separately from fandom. It’s why when I found out it was ending I had this odd sense of relief I wasn’t expecting to feel and it made me sad. I hope that now the show has aired its finale we can all reflect on things, hopefully be more self aware and objective and most importantly honest about what really has gone down and why. When things started turning sour there have been plenty of times it could have been nipped in the bud yet wasn’t. People who used this silly yet special show in selfish ways, times when walking away would have been better than sticking around trying to make things and people into something never intended to be, giving into tribalism while claiming we’re a family... for that I think we all hold a little piece of responsibility.

You can listen to it yourself on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0m07her5JUf0JGGtDVohtJ?si=c-RdyZzFQmSzffgNzZhkQg

#anti misha #anti misha collins #misha collins #supernatural #fandom #anti destihellers #strap in its a long one again #opinion #trying to be objective #alaina huffman #malik yoba #anti minions #misha #collins

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

Text

Greasy Weasel x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Lottie

Notes:

Pay no mind to the title- its just an homage to the original piece this is inspired by/for, for my own happiness ^^

So this is an experiment XD I don't think I got Greasy's character quite right (Even if it IS supposed to build on what little info we have) but I like it... sorta... I like the first bit, anyway XD

Plot: Greasy has known you nearly your whole life (Since you were left on the Toon Patrol's doorstep, anyway, with a note that said you belonged to Smart Ass), he raised you- but what happens between the two of you when you return from the Navy 4 years after shipping off cannot be constituted as platonic, in any way.

Warnings: Age difference, Dads friend/Friends kid (NOT pedophilia, Reader is like 24 in this and there were no feelings from his end until now), possible sexual references (I mean its Greasy so what do you expect), etc.

Glaring over your salad, which you play irritated with with your fork, as you lean back in your chair. "Greasy can we talk, in the hallway?" The fury is coursing through you right now, like the goddamn Nile. Where does he even get off saying stuff like this? He is in no position...

He must- he m u s t detect the absolute blood lust in your eyes as he takes a break from leaning on Chase, to you. But look ashamed at all, he does not as he shrugs - but does not speak. A tell tale sign that he's just as, if not more frustrated in the moment and as such, is so not in the mood to get berated, - and gets out his seat; heading for the hallway.

You watch him go with glaring eyes, not moving an inch, before looking at the rest of the table including Chase and taking a breath. Calm down Y/N, keep the anger to yourself... until you talk to Greasy, at least.

"Sorry about this guys, and Dad... " Your gaze flickers the the hallways door and you hop out of your seat, itching to tear into Greasy for his behaviour tonight, and the past couple days actually. "I'll be right back."

You pass your father on your way out, sitting in a recliner chair with earmuffs over his head to block out his family for a while.

As soon as you reach Greasy at the end of the hall, your face twists into a total scowl; all inhibitions and constraints disappearing.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I do not know what you mean, bonita." He mumbles around his grit teeth, arms crossed and resistant. You clench your fists, totally frustrated. Bitter, spiteful, awful man!

"The hell you don't. What was all that!? You've been acting like this since I got home! If you didn't want me back here, then you could've just said it! Woulda hurt a hell of a lot less then this."

At least at that, his shoulders relax for a moment- but his expression does not soften. And neither does the steel in either his eyes or his voice when he yells back, throwing an arm out to express his anger. "It isn't that I didn't want you back home, Y/N, its that you brought some inválido, with you! I did not expect that, from you!"

"Chase is not invalid- " You gasp, horrified at the way Greasy is speaking. Where is all the disgust, coming from? Greasy isn't like this, normally... in fact, you don't think you've ever seen him this senselessly an ass. Why!? "And you say that like its some mortal sin! I brought a boy home, I didn't kill someone- which you would not have the high ground over, either!"

"This was supposed to be family time! You've been gone for years and the first nights you're back, its with some chico!? He must mean a maldito mucho to you for you to possibly think he's worth hanging around with us right now."

"First of all, he does mean a lot to me. He's my friend- " Under his hat, you see Greasy's eyes deeply roll- a huff coming out of him as he tightly crosses his arms again. Like yeah right- "No, no. He is. Shut up. And second of all- if you just wanted to be with family then you could have just said! That doesn't excuse your behaviour." You glare ferociously, waiting for the real reason. Is he drunk, or something?? Honest to god you are baffled by the way he's acting- he's usually cooler then this. Out of any of your father's gang, he was the one you never really had to worry about. His antics made you laugh- but this? This makes you want to cry. Or scream.

You've gone for the second option.

"He does not see you as just a friend." He mutters back petulantly, avoiding looking at you now; Pulling his fedora down more over his face.

"So what!?" Even if he does, why would that make Greasy so mad? You cross your own arms. "You aren't my father and its is not your job to protect my 'chastity', Greasy."

He suddenly goes quiet, though the wrath from before is still clear in way his jaw is clenched. "... I know I'm not your father... " He mutters.

Something about that phrase stumps you. Of course he knows, but why does he look so ashamed? You uncross your arms, and take a deep breath.

"... Okay." Your eyes flash, looking up at him again; Anger still not sated. "Then why are you acting insane and harassing my guest!?"

A growl rips out of him and he bumps the brim of his hat upwards so he can look at you again, right in the eye. "I told you, I don't like that you brought him into this house!- "

"That's not it!" Its not. He's acting crazy about a boy who's acting absolutely lovely and polite. Its not.

You just want him to tell you what it really is that you did. You don't want to keep fighting with him, not with Greasy. You want your silly, campy, perverted Greasy back. Not this rotten version in front of you right now.

"It is!"

You press your fists brattily to your hips. "Is not!"

He bares his teeth and leans forward. "Is!"

"Not!-"

And then all the tension comes to a head, and something absolutely mad happens.

The first thing that you notice is the smell of his stupid expensive perfume filling your nostrils and embracing you, then your your hands curled tightly around the lapels of his suit, and finally the feeling of warmth and tingliness all over your body.

Because you're kissing Greasy.

Your perverted Greasy, one of your fathers best friends, one of the men that raised you, your teenage crush. Your kissing him on the lips and he's slowly reciprocating, his mouth moving carefully, but purposefully against your as he moves his body closer.

But there's anger, too. Your teeth are going to ache when you pull back for pressing into the kiss too hard and the tips of your fingers will pang when you let go of him but not quite yet-

Two sets of lips part and Greasy does this thing with his tongue that tears a long overdue moan out of you, and immediately he rears back like he was burnt. And you're left standing there cold again, completely shocked.

And aroused.

But mainly shocked, because you never expected that to happen but it did and now what are you both going to do?

The air is absolutely silent as you both catch your breaths, from the kiss and also from the fight, and hope your hearts stop beating quite so erratically very soon so you can act normal.

Then, because you've waited for this for too long and the moment is too good to pass up, you step over and kiss him again.

And he kisses you back, like he's totally unable to help himself from kissing you.

All the frustrations and tensions of the past few weeks go into it oh my god- you never expected Greasy to be able to kiss totally well, but it certainly does the trick as it has you holding onto him like your life depends on it, chasing your own pleasure but also experimenting- trying to drag pleasant reactions from him. See what he likes, make him moan.

Between kisses, he mutters 'Cariño... ' warningly, carefully. Like he knows he should stop but you're too good.

When you both finally pull back again minutes later, you're both wide eyed again though far less shocked about your actions, then before.

More scared.

"Don't tell Dad."

___REWIND: A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN YOU GOT HOME___

"Guys!" You scream, the moment your eyes land on the familiar group at the docks, utter excitement fills you up and you almost want to cry as you drop your bags with your friend in order to rush over to your family and throw your arms around the first man you reach- Stupid. "I missed you. I missed you, I missed you so much!!" You squeeze him, the familiar soft, worn feel of his shirt rubbing on your face as you cant help but smile.

"Duhh, Y/N!! We brought you (Favourite snack)!" Stupid informs above you, but squeezes you back in a moment, a happy whine escaping him at having you back there with him. And your hugs.

"Ohhh," Now you really want to cry. You're so overwhelmingly happy to be home and to see them again- and they brought you food. "Now that's what I came home for... " You joke, giggling a little bit tearily before pulling back and almost running in to Psycho, who holds up the snack.

You just wrap him up in a quick, tight hug. As always he's the warmest- like a lizard who's been sitting out on a hot rock for hours.

Next you find your father standing expectantly for you, fake annoyed that you didn't come to him first. "Hey, kid. Yeah, I told 'em you'd be none-too happy to see us if we didn't have your damn food. But this is some reception, for a regular pack."

"Hey, Dad." Your voice comes out wobbly and weak but in a good way, as he takes you up in his skinny arms and pink suit holding your head the way fathers do; Like someone with a bat is coming up behind you but he doesn't want you to know and there's no way in hell, that you're about to get hurt on his watch. "I missed you so much."

He sighs, and grumbles something about feelings, before burning his head down into the hug. "I missed you more kiddo."

After you father curtly lets you go, nodding stiffly at you as if it would save him his tough guy reputation, your attention is stolen by a familiar rusty, painful sounding voice. "Hey there, chickadee. No hello for me?"

"Wheezy!" You exclaim, thrilled. He holds up his hands.

"I wont take it personal if you don't wanna a hug me- wouldn't wanna get all smelly."

You roll your eyes, grinning. "Whenever have I ever cared about that."

"Hm." He grins, and you too hug warmly for a moment then you pull back and greet the last of your boys.

"Bonita, its good to see you of course. Nice to see you got into such good shape over seas- almost as good as me." Greasy grins sharply, before you two collide excitedly, so happy to see each other again and you press a quick kiss to his cheek. You picked up the habit when you had a crush on him, in your teenage years. Now its just routine. Yours and Greasy's thing together.

You squeeze his arms one last time, before letting go. "Oh, guys- " Sniffling, all teary and happy, you hide your face and pull yourself together. "Ahh... I'm sorry." Greasy pats your shoulder, as they all chuckle at your show of emotion- not that they're doing hugely better. Psycho blows his nose into his sleeve, teary himself.

Your Dad, although honestly as happy and serene as he can possibly be, with his hands in his pockets and his little baby back, glances off to your luggage still laying amongst bustling travellers a few metres away and the corners of his lips tilt down. "Boys- go get Y/N's stuff. I don't want it gettin' stolen."

Finally, you pull yourself together. "I brought someone I want you to meet! My friend Chase, he's- he's only stopping off here before moving on to his home further inland. And I was hoping he could have dinner with us tonight? Just, cuz, you know, its both our first night back?"

Your Dad squints at the guy who looks like he's guarding our luggage, as Stupid and Wheezy go and collect it. "That green bean there?"

"He's talllllllllllllllllllll," Psycho comments, giggling as he judges Chase.

"Yep, him." You agree, hoping your father is okay with it. you would hate to leave Chase alone in his apartment the days before his flight. He needs a good, family cooked meal for his first night off the ship!

"Yeah I guess." Smart Ass sighs, shrugging and sighing. "I just got noise resistant headphones- I don't gotta communicate with no one."

You grin. "Thank you, Dad!"

"Whatever."

"A boy?" Greasy pipes up, curiously from beside you. You look over and find him sizing Chase up, then turns to you and smiles weakly- a pale imitation of a teasing smirk. "You brought home a handsome boy?"

Rolling your eyes, you pat him on the back before heading over to Chase; not thinking much at all of Greasy's comment of the odd look on his face. "One, he's a man." Greasy rolls his eyes. "And he's just a friend! Wait here guys, I'll bring him over!"

___Greasy's POV___

"Hmmm... a friend." I shake my head, crossing my arms as watch Y/N interact with this 'Chase'. She picks up one of his bags for him and flashes him one of her pretty smiles, and he watches her move on ahead of him back to us. Por supuesto. For sure.

I watch him as a nauseous feeling rolls in my gut. I know that watch. That is not a 'friend' watch. If he was but a friend, he would be more concerned about the loose wooden board he's standing on rather then the chica's behind.

Perhaps I should tell Smartass what that boy is looking at-

As they come over, the nauseous, grinding feeling in me just gets stronger and I decide against opening my mouth to speak. I'm afraid of whatever might come out- I've never been good at withholding my... feelings.

Its only when the boy catches up to her, and us, and he puts an arm over Y/N's shoulders as she introduces us, and I stiffen up like a wooden plank, that I identify the feeling.

Its something I certainly shouldn't be feeling.

Not about Y/N.

The boss will kill me.

Maybe I can ignore it. Wish it away. Its probably just that I haven't been with a woman in a while, now... Si, that must be it. I am desperate. I good night or two with a lovely lady and I'll be fine.

But then the boy kisses Y/N's cheek and I only just manage to swallow the growl that fights to be torn from the back of my throat at the sight, and I realise immediately that this is going to be more complicated then that.

Far more complicated.

"And this is Greasy! Greasy, Chase." Y/N introduces us brightly, presenting him like he's important and Chase good-naturedly offers his hand to me. All I see though is the devil.

"Nice to meet ya! Y/N's told me about you, I hope we can get along." He beams while I glower, not moving at all to take up his hand.

Oh I doubt that we will, 'Chase', I truly do.

"So Chika!" Promptly I turn to Y/N, a smile on my face as I slip between them and wrap an arm around Y/N, leading her up ahead of the others and especially him. "You haven't told us about your travels much- Psycho ate your last postcard. We have to discuss!"

She glances back, concernedly, at Chase but I just prod her to start talking.

Maybe I can right off these feelings as protectiveness... like I'm supposed to be. I watched this girl grow up and I want her to be happy! I'm like... a... father...

My stomach rolls at the idea, but I swallow the horror down. I have to.

#Greasy x Reader #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Toon Patrol #Toon Patrol x Reader #Oneshot #Greasy x Reader Oneshot #Greasy Weasel x Reader Oneshot #Smartass Weasel #Wheezy Weasel #Stupid Weasel #Psycho Weasel

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phantomnostalgist · 3 years

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Ethan Freeman Phantom interview

An interview with Ethan Freeman from about 1994 or 1995, printed in “Beneath the Mask” #8 (which I haven’t found my print copy of yet, but the interview was reproduced on our old POTO fan site).

Also of note about Ethan: at the time he was one of the two youngest actors to have played the Phantom - he and Anthony Warlow were both 28 or 29 when first cast in the role.

Are there any differences between London and Vienna - if so, what are they? The general tone of the production in Vienna was slightly more Operetta-like, probably due to the language, the sound of the translation and style of acting of some of the players. The tempo was also at some points quite different depending on who was conducting, and would undoubtedly feel strange to me now. The audience tended to be less tuned in to the humorous moments in the show in general, and some scenes like "Managers I & II" for example, simply run better and are more clever in English.

How did you get the role? I got the role of the Phantom after auditioning for Hal Prince and Gillian Lynne and the Viennese producer and musical staff. They appeared very excited about the audition. I'd sung "Music of the Night" which they praised in a friendly manner (Hal is always positive and encouraging), and they sent me off to learn the segment from the Final Lair "Order your fine horses... This is the choice. This is the point of no return!" When I came back the next day to do it (the Phantom candidates appeared by then to have been reduced to three) Hal said "OK Ethan I want you to scare me!" So I did the section with as much power and venom as I could muster (Id never seen the show - I think Id heard the record once or twice...) and after it was done, Hal just said "Great. You scared me!" and that was that really. Later that day they explained to Alexander Goebel and me what they would like and would we be willing to share, obviously with Alex, who was very well known, being the dominant of the two. So we split 5/2 which frequently ended up being 4/3 as the run went along.

How did you research the character? I read the novel finally, all the way through. Ruth Hale, my partner in "Cats" at the time, later to premiere as Mme Giry in the Hamburg production, gave me a copy as a present. I'd seen several of the films over the years so I knew there wasn't much to be mined from those - although Lon Chaney Snr did display some magnificent body language, and I've nicked at least one dramatic gesture from him. Principally though, I had several long meetings with Hal in New York to talk about the role and show. He instructed me to go watch Michael a few times then come back and talk some more. Crawford was magnificent, at the peak of his vocal power and still fairly fresh in the role and I was moved and impressed as I have not been since by a Phantom. (Though Dave Willetts, I must say, also made a huge impression the first time I saw him, for his power and well-delineated psychotic behaviour.) At first I thought boy, you've got your work cut out for you on all fronts. So, I would say my "research" of the role was principally based on my own discussions with Hal and also largely on my own thoughts and feelings. Obviously most of the physical manifestations of the role, make-up, costume, blocking, etc were predetermined so there wasn't much scope for change. To be honest, I feel some of the Phantoms I've seen tend, in an effort to be different, to stray from the basic line of the drama and weaken themselves as a result. Michael's acting was extreme, yet very clear and economical at the same time, and I also try to offer the audience a complicated and ambiguous character going through clear, unambiguous moments of his life - otherwise it's so easy for the audience not to "get" everything that's there - or to "get" things that aren't intended to be there at all.

How do you feel on stage? So varied in thought and feeling that I can't really give a concise answer. I feel quite differently now to how I felt 600 odd shows ago. I used to have to concentrate on staying concentrated - now it just happens. I know what to achieve and just try to let it happen. I'd say I'm both in and out of Erik at the same time and he in me.

Do you think it's based on a true story ie. did the Phantom exist? I doubt it - I haven't read this newer novel "Phantom" yet and don't intend to until I finish playing the part. However I've been to the Palais Garnier and in all senses of the word it is a 'phantastic' theatre, one which easily conjures up many stirring images - beautifully represented in the Phantom designs, I'd say!

What do you think of Erik? I wish he'd let me have a little more time to myself! Oh, I don't know. He's a sad, bitter, brilliant man. He has a great brain and can be a real bastard. I find him easy to understand - he's motivated by a terrible profound loneliness and has been forced to create his own universe which has its own laws. Anyone who has known some kind of loneliness or feeling of apartness when they were children or growing up can tune in to this crucial aspect of the Man, which is his great mythical attraction. He is so powerful, awesome, in control and yet so hurt and vulnerable. He must epitomise great beauty and great ugliness at war with each other, reason and insanity, God/Satan, Id/Ego battling it out. In the end, he learns about sacrifice, shows mercy and is redeemed by love - a great, archetypal Romantic drama - another reason why the story has always been so popular. I can't stand it when I see Erik played as a "nutter". Yes, he goes "crazy" a few times, but in general he is not insane in the pathological sense. I feel if he is played as a schizophrenic or a psychopath, the romantic ideal of the story is dashed, because both of those conditions would indicate a "determination" that makes any hope of redemption impossible, and would break with the "Romantic" style. He is very melancholy, angry, egocentric, neurotic perhaps, and goes off into rages of frustrated sexuality, but he is not insane. And I'll kill anyone who thinks otherwise!

What do you think happens to him at the end? That's our little secret! I think the different fan magazines have probably spent pages on that so I don't see I need to contribute. He goes!

Why do you think the show is so appealing? Some lovely songs, great orchestrations, a nice mixture of melodrama and light comedy, some stunning sets and a lot of good theatrical magic: and on the thematic side, many of the things I've mentioned before, which I suppose you could define as the archetypal Beauty and the Beast scenario which, if honestly portrayed, can tug the heartstrings of even the most urbane Japanese businessman.

What is your favourite role of those you've played? Obviously Phantom is the supreme role in my repertoire to date. I did however, really enjoy my stints in other Lloyd Webber shows as well. Che in "Evita" was very cool to play and Gus/Growltiger, while exceedingly 'uncool' thanks to the heavy knitted costumes, was a joy to play, despite being totally knackering, and one that I was surely born to do. I really enjoyed doing Hajj, the Poet in "Kismet" with the BBC Radio 2 last year, working with the composers, and would love to have the chance to do that again on stage someday.

What role would you like to play? I'd quite hope to have a go at Sweeney Todd somewhere down the line and would still like to play the Celebrant in "Bernstein's Mass" at some point. (I've nearly done that a couple of times.) Add to that a heap of great operatic roles I'd love to do but probably never will and whatever new, unknown roles lie lurking up ahead. We'll wait and see!

End note from me - Ethan’s wrong about schizophrenia, but hey, this interview was 25 years ago and actors can’t be expected to be experts on mental illness. But I really love this interview, the depth he goes into, and how his sense of humour comes through too.

#the phantom of the opera #phantom of the opera #ethan freeman #classic phantoms #poto #poto legends #phantom legends

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berrynarrybanana · 3 years

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deck the halls pt. 4

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long, but some crazy stuff has been going on in my life and with work, so I’ve been all over this place! But here is part four finally. I think I should have two or three more parts to post before this is over. Please enjoy and let me know what you think :)

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: Mentions of smut, dying, the usual, alcohol, etc.

November 14 Holly’s POV

“I guess paradise isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, huh?”

Holland twirled around, but the sound of the ice cracking under her feet made her her freeze in her place, causing her to stand as still as a statue so she wouldn’t fall through. Jack Frost’s voice was too close, almost like he was whispering in her ear. He was nowhere to be seen as she stood on the ice, terrified of the outcome. Harry wasn’t in the clearing this time, he wasn’t there to remind her that this was just a dream. Her cheeks were burning cold from her tears and the icy wind.

She sniffled, wiping under her frozen nose with the sleeve of her coat.

“Your soulmate is bitter, isn’t he?” Jack’s voice caused her to close her eyes, holding in a fresh wave of tears brought on by fear. “He doesn’t love you like you love him, does he Holland? He’s not capable of such emotion. He’s a broken boy-”

“Stop talking about him.” Holland cried out, lifting her hands to her face. “Please, Jack, just stop this.”

“I can’t.” His hands clamped down on her shoulders as the ice started to crack under her feet. “I need to be in control, Holland. I have to do it for my father.”

“Your father?”

Holland’s breath was gone from her lungs in seconds, replaced with ice cold water.

She closed her eyes, letting her body sink into the water.

Fighting was painful, but giving into fate brought her peace.

As she sunk lower in the frozen water, green eyes were all she could see.

❄️❄️❄️❄️

Harry’s POV

Harry pulled his door shut, sliding his key into the lock as he held his breath.

He felt his shoulder tense up at the sound of a door opening behind him, a new wave of tears welling up in his already swollen eyes. He turned the lock, hiking his leather bag up on his shoulder as he turned around. He expected to see Holland standing in her doorway, wearing some ridiculous set of Christmas themed pajamas with a Santa filled mug of hot chocolate in her hands.

Instead, he was met with the Christmas wreath she made. It was adorned with little trinkets she picked up around town, London landmarks were nestled into the bed of green that matched the shade of her sparkling eyes. Harry inhaled sharply, lifting his hand up to wipe at the tears under his eyes before he turned on his heel and stormed down the hallway, still ashamed of his childish actions.

It had been a few hours since he fucked up, since he’d pushed her away to protect himself (and her) from the war raging in his mind. He wanted to tell her everything going through his head, but he just couldn’t. The words he wanted to say were pushed into his chest while he lashed out at the one person he adored the most in this world. He knew that he’d never have the courage to tell her exactly how he felt about Christmas, and why he hated it.

Harry could see that she was already carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, even if she hid it behind a smile and Christmas cheer. She was busy trying to find her way in a strange new world while also trying to fight for her life. He didn’t want to add his problems to the long list of things she was already dealing with. He hadn’t really thought about it, but Holland was stuck figuring out the Jack Frost situation all on her own. And though there were things that he didn’t understand about her world, he still wanted to be here for her.

But right now, he was making things worse for her.

He was always making things worse.

As he stepped onto the lift, he felt a new wave of tears cascading down his cheeks. His knees were weak, wobbling like sliced cranberry jelly with each floor the lift descended. When the doors opened, he all but sprinted through the lobby and out onto the sidewalk. He gasped, taking in the crisp, fresh air as he wiped at his cheeks. People stared at him as he stood there, trying to pull himself together, but he couldn’t care less about their judgemental glances or their bitter frowns. He was hurting, and for once in his life, he wasn’t trying to hide it from anyone.

As he walked down the sidewalk, he tried to focus on the sounds of the city bustling around him to distract his negative thoughts. He was done wallowing in his own sadness, moping around in attempts to avoid his problems rather than solve them. He desperately wanted to make things right between himself and Holland so they could move forward together. He wasn’t afraid to admit that maybe they both needed help to get through this thing with Frost.

But before he could make things right with Holland, he had a few things to take care of.

☕️☕️☕️☕️

Sarah’s POV

Sarah flipped to the next page of Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares with eager fingers.

Her heart was racing in her chest as she read over the words in the cheesy novel that Holland picked up for her just a few days ago. They both agreed to read the book before meeting up to chat about it. It was a cute little book club with only two people, but Sarah loved it. She loved Holland just as much, and she even considered her to be her best friend.

Since Holland showed up in Java Java, things in Sarah’s life started to improve. She was practicing more self care after stressful shifts at the cafe, and she’d even started to meditate before bed. Her relationship with her Mother was improving, slowly but surely, and they even had plans to meet for tea in just two days time.

But most importantly, without Holland, there would be no Sarah and Mitch.

Sarah felt her heart swell as her eyes drifted from the page.

Holland gave Sarah the final push she needed to finally ask Mitch out on a date. It was something that she never thought she’d get the guts to do, but thanks to Holland, she went into Paradise Records with a peppermint mocha and a confident disposition. Mitch almost seemed stunned by Sarah’s gall, but by the end of her long winded speech about her feelings, he was smiling up at her like she hung the bloody moon in the sky.

Without Holland, that would have never happened.

Sarah picked up reading where she left off, her eyes drifting over the page.

Just as she made it to the end of a paragraph, the bell above the cafe door rang out.

She sighed, stuffing an old receipt between the pages before she looked towards the door with an obnoxiously fake smile. It fell the second she laid eyes on Harry Styles walking towards her counter. Sarah rolled her lips in, taking a deep breath in attempts to compose herself. She feared that if she didn’t compose herself, Harry would end up with a Christmas stirrer in his ear.

“Sorry sir, but we’re allowed to refuse service to dickheads that break people’s hearts.” Sarah plastered on her fake smile, reaching for her book as Harry stopped in front of her. “Goodbye.”

“I know I’ve been a dickhead, Sarah.” Harry’s voice cracked as he lifted his hand to scratch at his jaw nervously. “But I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“You’ve been a dickhead for a lot longer than you realize.” She let out a heavy sigh. “And we’ve all put up with it because we know that you’re still hurting, Harry, but Holland didn’t deserve to be pushed away and shouted at because you’re scared of your feelings.”

“I know that.” He said softly, his red-rimmed eyes glazing over. “But I’m trying to be better for her. She’s made me realize a lot of things since she’s shown up in my life, but the number one thing that she’s made me realize is that I stopped living when my parents died.”

Sarah didn’t know what to say to that.

It was true, but it made her heart ache hearing it aloud.

She loved Harry like a brother, and she just wanted him to be happy.

“We just want you to be happy, Harry.” Sarah said softly. “We don’t expect some wild, overnight transformation, but we do want to see you smile from time to time.”

“I smile.” He let out a wet chuckle, reaching up to wipe at a few stray tears. “I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for pushing you out, Sarah. I know you’ve tried to cheer me up over the years, especially around the holidays, and I just want you to know that I see that. I appreciate you as a person, and I’m so lucky to have you as a friend.”

Sarah felt a burning sensation behind her eyes, and seconds later her vision went blurry.

“Thank you.” She said softly. “I just want you to be okay, H. I need my friend to be okay, and I need you to realize that you’re not alone. I’m here for you, always.”

“I see that now.” Harry wiped at his cheeks. “I love you, Sarah Jones.”

“And I love you, Harry Styles.” She chuckled, shaking her head before she leaned across the counter with her arms out. “Give me a hug.”

🍵🍵🍵🍵 Mitch’s POV

As Mitch dipped the small satchel of green tea into his steaming water, he thought about Sarah’s shampoo. If he remembered correctly, it was green tea and jasmine. He cracked a smile at the thought of her hair tickling his nose as they curled up on the couch. She left his flat about three hours ago for her shift at Java Java and he was already aching to have her in his arms again. Sarah Jones was the love of his life, and he was not afraid to admit it anymore.

The day that she stormed into the shop with a peppermint mocha in her hand and a wild look in her eyes, he knew that she was the one. He sat behind the counter on his stool with his guitar in his lap as she spewed out every single feeling she had about him. He smiled at her while she ranted, practically slamming the peppermint mocha down so that she could talk with her hands.

He loved that about her.

He loved everything about her.

As he twirled the tea bag around his finger, a knock sounded at his door.

Sarah was still at work, and Niall was at the record shop... so who could be knocking at his door.

He walked towards the bright yellow door tentatively, not bothering to peek through the peephole before opening it up. He felt his eyebrows lift dramatically at the sight of a distraught Harry standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets and blotchy red cheeks. Mitch almost didn’t know what to say to Harry as he stood on the other side of the threshold. He had never seen the man before him cry, not even when he was at his lowest point in life.

Mitch moved aside, holding his arm out without a word.

Harry walked in, sniffling as Mitch shut the door.

“You okay?” Mitch asked. “Can I make you some tea?”

“I don’t need tea, but thank you.” Harry made his way to the thrifted couch that Mitch bought with Niall a few years ago. “You’re with Sarah?”

“Um, yeah.” Mitch crossed his arms over his chest as he walked towards the couch. “Is that why you’re crying?”

“No, I’m crying because I’m a shit friend and a huge fucking prick.” Harry let out a wet chuckle, leaning back into the couch as Mitch watched him. “I don’t pay attention to anything but myself, do I?”

“Not really, no.” Mitch sat down next to him. “But...that’s just you.”

“But it isn’t.” Harry raked his fingers through his hair, gripping at the roots as he dropped his elbows to his knees. “I’m not this guy, Mitch. I can’t be this kind of guy. Holland has joked about it before, but she’s right....I’m literally Scrooge.”

“Harry-”

“You never told me that you were serious about making music.” Harry lifted his head, slapping his palms against his thighs. “But I never fucking asked you about that. I never ask about any of your lives because I just assume that you’re all happy, all the time.”

“Not always.” Mitch sighed. “Harry, don’t beat yourself up about it, okay? The last three years have been really hard on you, and you can’t expect to be who you were before.”

“I don’t know who I am at all.” Harry whispered. “But I know I’m nowhere near the man I want to be.”

“First step is admitting you have a problem.” Mitch cracked a smile, causing Harry to bark out a watery laugh. “I’m glad that you’re doing... whatever this is.”

“I’m so fucking sorry if I’ve ever hurt you.” Harry said. “You always listen to every problem that I have, but I never ask about the shit you’re going through. I’m sorry for being such a self centered prick, and I promise that things are going to change going forward. I’m here for you, Mitch.”

“That means a lot.” Mitch squeezed Harry’s shoulder before patting it. “I’m really proud of you, and I’m so happy that you’re finding yourself.”

“It’s all because of Holland.” Harry rolled his eyes fondly, wiping under his eyes. “I owe her so much.”

“Right now, I hear you owe her an apology.” Mitch pulled his hand back, trying not to snort out a laugh as Harry groaned. “Have you seen her?”

“Not since this morning.” Harry blew out a breath. “I went to Java Java, hoping that she would be there, but I spent the last two hours crying to Sarah instead.”

“She received a very interesting phone call from Holland after your fight.” Mitch said. “I hope you’ve got something big planned for her.”

“I do.” Harry smiled, rubbing his palms together. “But I have a few more stops to make first.”

🎶🎶🎶🎶

Niall’s POV

Niall’s day was pure shit.

From the moment he opened his eyes, he knew that his entire day would be thrown off due to the absence of Gemma in his bed. It was unusual for them to spend nights apart at this point in their relationship, and Niall didn’t like sleeping without her and Noah under the same roof. He considered them both to be his little family, and he wanted to protect them always.

But Gemma insisted that he go back to his own flat for the night when Noah started acting fussier than usual. Niall insisted that he could handle it alongside her, as a team, but Gemma merely told him that she would call him later. He never received a call from her, and he spent his entire night tossing in turning in bed waiting to hear from her.

Being proud and stubborn was a well known, Styles family trait, and Niall hated it so much at times. He already had Harry pushing him away. He didn’t need to add Gemma to the list of people he was losing. He loved her, and he loved Noah with all of his heart. Being away from them hurt just as much as being away from his family back home in Ireland.

Despite a restless night’s sleep, Niall still had to open up Paradise Records.

He was running on no sleep, no caffeine, and no hope for his relationship with Gemma. He was lucky that the shop seemed to be slow today. Niall wasn’t usually one to snap at people, but he had his moments. He was currently grumbling at the rickety old cash register that refused to shut after a purchase. He’d told Harry time and time again that they needed a newer one, but Harry liked the vintage vibe that the old register gave off.

Niall slammed the drawer with a series of curses spoken in a language he rarely used. He let out a shaky sigh when it finally settled flush with the register, his chin wobbling and his eyes filling with tears. He hated the uncertainty lingering in the air, and he knew that he needed to confront Gemma about it. The only problem was, he didn’t want to lose her after.

“What did Ricky ever do to you?”

Niall snapped his head up with his brows pulled down.

“What are you doing here?” Niall brushed the back of his hand under his nose as Harry shifted awkwardly. “Shouldn’t you be with your new girlfriend?”

“No.” Harry cleared his throat, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. “We got into a fight this morning, and I was a proper idiot.”

“What’s new there?” Niall scoffed, shaking his head. “What do you want, Harry?”

“Are you alright?” Harry asked, moving closer to the counter.

“No, I’m not.” Niall said. “But I don’t want to waste my breath talking to you about it, Harry. I’m done fighting so hard with you two. I’m not getting anywhere, and it’s clear that I’m not wanted-”

“Woah, hold on.” Harry said. “What are you on about, Niall? I love having you around, and I’m happy that you’re with Gemma. I know that...I might have teased at the beginning, but I told Gemma that I was happy for you both.”

“Well, it might have been nice to hear it from you.” Niall snapped. “And it might be nice if your sister would stop pushing me away every time something goes wrong. I’m not some daft kid, Harry. I know how to take care of them both, but she won’t let me.”

“Niall, I don’t want to step into the middle of something, but I promise you that Gemma is trying with you.” Harry’s face fell. “They do need you Niall. You’re the zen in her chaotic world, and it would kill her if you left.”

“I’m not leaving, she’s pushing me out.” Niall whispered, his voice cracking. “Noah was having a full blown tantrum last night and she just told me to go. I know that I’m not his father, but I love that boy more than I love anything in this world. It kills me to see him like that, and it kills me to see her so out of sorts.”

“She’s a proud woman, Niall.” Harry inhaled sharply, biting at his bottom lip. “She’s been doing this on her own for a while, and it’s hard to let people into that little bubble that you create to protect your heart. I know it isn’t fair, but she’s trying harder than I’ve ever tried.”

Niall looked at his best mate, watching the rims of his green eyes turn red. The first few tears fell as Harry’s chin wobbled, and he ducked his head down with a soft sniffle as Niall stood on the other side of the counter, bewildered by the actions of the usually austere man.

“Mate?” Niall said.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit friend to you Niall.” Harry cried out. “I’ve been so unfair to you for so long, and you deserve so much more than me as your friend.”

Niall felt a new wave of tears blurring his vision as he watched Harry’s shoulders shake. He moved from behind the counter, wrapping Harry in a tight hug as he sobbed into his shoulder. It was strange, but Niall hugged him tighter, brushing his palm over Harry’s back as his frame shook violently. Niall felt a few tears fall from his own eyes and onto Harry’s coat as they stood there together. He wasn’t sure what to do with Harry when he was like this, but he figured holding him seemed to be enough by the way Harry clung to his shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Harry croaked out, lifting his head up to wipe at his messy face. “I’m sorry for all of it Niall. I’m sorry for pushing you away, and I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t welcome in our family. If anyone is a part of our little family, it’s you.”

“Harry-”

“And I can’t promise that things are going to go back to normal right away, but I swear that I’m going to try harder.” Harry hiccuped. “We’ll have family dinner, and we’ll go on holiday together when we can. I swear that I want to be better for you all, because you’ve been keeping me afloat for so long and you deserve more from me.”

“Harry, just take a deep breath.” Niall said. “It’s going to be fine.”

“I can’t lose all of you.” Harry sniffled. “I need you in my life, I know that now.”

“You won’t lose us.” Niall said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise?” Harry asked, taking in a shaky breath as Niall nodded.

“Yeah, I promise on me Mum.” He said. “I love you, mate. I think of you as a brother, you know that.”

“I think of you that way to.” Harry cracked a tiny smile. “Do you forgive me?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Niall sighed. “You’ve been a little grumpy, but no one expected you to be the same person you were before they died. You’ve just been trying to find out how to live in a world without them, and I’ve never been upset with you for that.”

“Thank you.” Harry nodded before glancing around the shop. “Slow day?”

“Dreadful.” Niall groaned. “I’ve cleaned the whole fucking store-”

“Lock up and go.” Harry said. “We’re just wasting electricity.”

“Are you sure?” Niall asked, his brows lifting up.

“Positive.” Harry chuckled. “Go find Gemma, and tell her that I said she needs to stop being so thick headed. She’s lucky to have someone like you around.”

“Thanks, mate.” Niall patted Harry’s arm. “Where’s Holland at?”

“I don’t know, but I’m about to head back home.” Harry said. “I figured making her a nice dinner and sitting her down for a proper talk is in order, so I’ve got a few errands to run first.”

“She still hasn’t tried pizza.” Niall pointed out. “Maybe make her one of those homemade ones that you used to do when we lived over in Camden.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that.” Harry laughed, the sound almost sending Niall into cardiac arrest. “We had good times in that flat.”

“Yeah, we did.” Niall smiled. “But I have a feeling better times are ahead.”

“Me too.”

⛸⛸⛸⛸

Holland’s POV

Holland couldn’t help but remember the words Harry told her the night they met.

“Just do me a favor, and don’t go near any lakes.”

Technically, this wasn’t a lake.

She let her skates glide over the ice, as she glided along the man made ice rink that was in the middle of Holland Park.

In the North Pole, she used to skate every single morning. She never went to the lake after her dreams started, but she did go to the rink her father had installed in the town square. There was always a crowd, and there was no danger of her sinking into an icy current at the rink. She missed skating, and part of her wished that she could bring Harry here. She couldn’t imagine him wobbling around in ice skates, cursing every time he almost fell to the ground.

He would be a little sour about it, but she would love to see him at least try it out for her sake. She tried not to think about him after their fight, but it seemed that she just couldn’t keep her mind from wandering off to thoughts of him. He was everywhere from the bitter cold wind to the scent of gingerbread in the air. She even saw a baby that almost looked like Noah, which led to her thinking about Harry lifting the toddler in the air, causing him to squeal out his uncle’s name between fits of laughter.

She missed him.

“Miss?”

A voice pulled her from her thoughts, causing her to stop on her skates before she turned her head. An older gentleman stood at the edge of the rink with a broom, his coat tight around his broad shoulders. She looked around the rink, her heart sinking in her chest when she realized that she was all alone. There was no one else around the rink either.

“Yes?” She asked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“We’re closing.” He said. “I need to sweep the rink.”

Holland let out a breath of relief, nodding her head.

“I’m so sorry.” She skated closer to the edge of the rink, making her way towards the exit. “I hope I haven’t held you up.”

“It’s quite alright.” The man walked out further onto the ice, his broom sweeping over the rink. “I don’t have anyone to go home to, so what does it matter?”

“You don’t even have pets?” She asked, holding onto the railing as she stepped down carefully. “I suggest getting a pet, they’re wonderful company.”

“I’m allergic.”

His annoyed mumbling reminded her of Harry.

“Thank you for letting me stay a little longer, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season.” She smiled back at the man. “Merry Christmas.”

“Same to you.” He went about his sweeping, ignoring Holland as she sat on a bench just around the edge of the skating rink.

She stripped the borrowed skates from her feet, dropping them in the return bin after zipping her winter boots up. She adjusted her beanie on her head, reaching for her bag before she started walking. With every step she took away from the ice rink, the darker it became. She didn’t realize that she had stayed so late, and an anxious feeling settled in her chest.

The dark always scared her.

Holland tried not to let it get the better of her, crossing her arms over her chest before she picked up her pace. She followed the path lined with trees, keeping her eyes down to avoid seeing shadows in the dark. It would only cause her to panic more, and she would end up freaking herself out over something that probably wasn’t even there.

As she continued to walk down the pathway, she realized that she was going in a different direction than when she started. She looked up, her eyes squinting as she tried to make out the large blob in the corner of the park. When she realized that it was in fact a small pond, her blood ran cold in her veins. She was stuck in her place, frozen with fear.

“I should have listened.” She whispered aloud, aware that no one was there to listen. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

Her heart started to beat faster in her chest as she turned around, ready to dart off in another direction. She was stopped, however, by a solid body pressing into hers. Holland let out a scream, falling backwards onto her ass as the body loomed over her. She couldn’t see a face, but she could tell that it was a man by the broad build of his shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be here.” The man hissed out, reaching down to pull Holland up by her coat. “It’s dangerous to be in the park after sundown, don’t you know that?”

“I didn’t know.” She whimpered, clenching her eyes shut. “I’m lost.”

“Anyone could see that, you daft girl.” He growled, pulling her closer. “Do you want to get mugged?”

“Not really.” She slowly opened her eyes, looking at the man in front of her. “I just don’t know how to get out of this park.”

“I’ll walk you out.” He grumbled, his voice husky and gruff. “Bloody naive little brat.”

He released her coat, turning on his heel before he started to move swiftly.

Holland could hardly keep up with him, but she did her best.

She tried not to pay attention to the groups of people loitering in the field, staring at her as she walked by with the stranger. She didn’t remember seeing any of them on her walk towards the back half of the park, but then again, she wasn’t really looking. As the man started walking her past more familiar territory, Holland felt her shoulders start to relax ever so slightly.

When they approached the gate at the front, the man turned around.

“Don’t ever stay in the park after the sun goes down again, do you hear me?” He snapped. “It's a surefire way to get yourself into a lot of trouble, and you don’t look like the type of girl who’s ever been in trouble before.”

“Thank you.” she said softly. “I promise to pay more attention next time.”

“Good.” He turned on his heel, strutting away without another word.

Holland pushed through the gate, walking down the sidewalk as quickly as her feet would carry her. She made a few turns, her eyes catching sight of a few buildings that looked slightly familiar, but as she approached them, she suddenly felt lost again. The golden arches of the Mcdonald’s restaurant were familiar, but the outside of the building didn’t look the same.

She growled out in frustration, turning around in a circle in attempts to find anything else that looked familiar to her. When she noticed a few key details missing from the area she was standing in, she decided to just push through and keep walking. It was better than standing still in the ice cold wind of the winter night.

But as she continued down the sidewalk, she realized that she was most definitely lost.

❄️❄️❄️❄️

Harry’s POV

When Harry finished up setting the dinner date he’d prepared for himself and Holland, he wiped his hands on his trousers before opening the door to his flat. He still had that hollow feeling in his chest that he got when she was far away, but he decided to knock on her door anyways. Maybe their weird connection was just a little off today. He stood there for a few minutes, occasionally knocking before he dropped his hand to the doorknob. It was a shot in the dark, but he had to try.

When the doorknob turned, he groaned as he pushed the door open.

Of course, she would leave her door unlocked.

He took note of the Christmas lights strung out on the rails of her balcony and the fake fireplace crackling on her television screen, but he didn’t see Holland. Her kitchen and living area lights were off, and the hallway was just as dark. He took careful steps, walking down it as panic started to rise in his chest. If she wasn’t home, where on earth could she be.

He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, clicking on Sarah’s contact as he peeked into Holland’s empty bedroom.

“Did your plan not go well?” Sarah answered.

“She’s not at home.” He said. “She’s not in her flat, Sarah.”

“Okay, so maybe she’s still cooling off?” she asked. “Call her.”

“She doesn’t have a phone.” He cursed under his breath, storming through her apartment back to his own. “Fuck, she’s probably lost, Sarah.”

“Take a deep breath.” Sarah’s voice switched from amused to serious. “This is Holland we’re talking about. If she’s lost, it’s probably in a Christmas store.”

“No, she never stays out this late.” Harry grabbed a coat and his keys, slamming his flat door shut before he turned the key in the lock. “She’s afraid of the dark.”

“Harry, just breathe.”

“I can’t, Sarah.” He cried out, the panic clear in his voice. “I have to find her. I can’t lose her like I lost them, I can’t.”

He hung up the phone stuffing it into his pocket before he jabbed the down button for the lift.

He struggled to get his coat on in the lift, his jaw tense as he tried to think of all the places she could be. Java Java was closed, Harrods was closing soon, and Paradise Records closed earlier when he told Niall to go home. He didn’t know of any other stores she might venture into, but he had to try to think like her if he was going to find her.

When he stepped onto the sidewalk outside of their building, he inhaled sharply.

The scent of berry and clove was feint, but he had no doubt in his mind that it would guide him towards Holland. He turned to the right, taking a few steps as the scent grew stronger. The warm feeling in his chest was back, and his heart was beating faster as he all but jogged down the sidewalk in search of his soulmate. He took a left turn at the end of the street, but when he did, her scent was gone. He turned around, taking the right instead. He followed that sidewalk to the end, letting out a frustrated growl as he pushed his fingers through his hair.

“Where the hell are you at, Holland?” He mumbled under his breath, breathing deeply as he let his eyes close. “C’mon baby, where are you?”

He could see her in his mind, walking past the Mcdonald’s just a few blocks away.

Harry’s feet moved quicker than they ever had, pounding against the pavement until he turned the corner where the Mcdonald’s was. He stopped when he saw her walking with her head down, his hands flying out to her biceps as she walked right into his chest. He held her tight, keeping her from falling over as his body became unsteady.

“Fuck!” He wrapped her tightly, planting his heels down. “You scared me half to death, Holland.”

“Harry?” She gasped out, tilting her head back to look up at him. “It’s you.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek, watching her face as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, baby. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that, and I swear that I’ll never do something like that again.”

“I just want to help.” She whispered. “Let me take some of the weight off of your shoulders, Harry. You don’t have to carry it alone.”

He sniffled, nodding softly before he pulled her into a crushing hug.

“Let’s go home.” He whispered. “I made us dinner.”

“Did you?” She asked, her voice raising an octave in excitement.

“Yeah, I did.” He let out a wet chuckle, wiping under his own teary eyes as he pulled back. “I made us pizza.”

Holland tossed her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

“Finally!”

🍕🍕🍕🍕

Holland’s POV

Harry pushed the door to his flat open, holding Holland’s hand tightly in his own.

She smiled at his back, trying to hold back the laugh building up in her throat. He’d refused to let her hand go the entire walk home, and he even threatened to carry her on his back if she didn’t cooperate with him. He was being stern, and pouty the entire time, but Holland found it cute. It wasn’t at all like the closed off version of Harry she saw earlier that morning.

As she walked through the door, the scent of gingerbread and vanilla greeted her sense. Harry shut the door behind her, giving her a sheepish smile as her brows lifted up. In the center of his kitchen counter was a candle, the flame still lit up as the warm smell filled his home.

“You’re burning a candle.” She said softly, pulling at her scarf as Harry locked the door. “You hate candles.”

“I do.” He said. “But you like them.”

“I love them.” She smiled over her shoulder at him. “Why are you burning that for me?”

“It’s a small detail in my very complex plan to apologize to you.” He cleared his throat, stripping his coat off as his cheeks turned red. “I was a dick to you this morning, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“You’re right, I didn’t.” She turned back, handing him her scarf before she started working on the buttons of her coat. He hung it up on the coat rack, his face solemn like a puppy who had just been scolded. “And I do understand why you did it, but that doesn’t make it okay.”

“It’s really hard for me to open up.” He reached for her coat next, hanging it up next to his own before he held his arms out. Holland walked into them happily, snuggling into his soft green sweater as he sighed. “I’ve spent three years keeping every emotion, every serious thought, every fear in my own head. I don’t tell people, because I’m afraid of being vulnerable with someone I could lose in the blink of an eye.”

“Harry,” Holland tilted her head back, looking at him with a frown. “People are going to come in and out of your life, that’s inevitable.”

“But if I don’t get attached, then it won’t hurt so bad when they go.” He shrugged. “That’s why I tried pushing you away today. I know I could possibly lose you forever, and we’re already so close to each other. Losing you even now would nearly kill me, and I hardly know you.”

“I know.” She said. “But wouldn’t you rather spend the time that we have left together falling in love? I don’t want my time on earth to be meaningless, Harry. I want to be proud of what I’ve left behind when I go-”

“Stop talking about dying.” He whimpered, clenching his eyes shut. “I can’t take it.”

“It might happen.” She said. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to take Jack Frost down on my own. My magic is too weak, and I can’t do it without-”

She paused, taking a deep breath before she pulled away from Harry.

“Without what?” Harry’s eyes searched her face.

“Don’t worry about it.” She said. “I’m working on it.”

“You’re being a hypocrite.” He scoffed, wiping at his cheeks in frustration. “You’re not exactly...you say that you like to be honest, but I know that you’re not telling me everything.”

“Because I know you’re not ready to hear all of it.” She crossed her arms over her chest, staring back at him as his jaw tensed. “What?”

“You’re just as bad as me, you know that?” He said. “If we’re gonna spend our time falling in love, and not fighting, then we need to lay it all out on the table. No more secrets.”

Holland bit her lower lip, inhaling sharply through her nose.

“I don’t think you’re ready.” She said. “I don’t think you’ll even believe me.”

“I know when you’re telling the truth.” He rolled his eyes at her. “I can feel it when you lie, remember?”

“That’s fair.” She mumbled, looking up towards the ceiling as she sucked in a sharp breath. “I don’t want you to be mad at me for it though.”

Harry’s body nearly deflated as he looked at her face.

“Baby, I am so sorry for earlier.” He moved closer, grabbing her hands. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, and I know better now. I swear that I won’t be upset with you for whatever it is you have to share.”

“You’re gonna be a little upset.” She held up a hand, nearly pinching her fingers together as Harry chuckled. “But it’s only fair for me to be honest with you if I expect the same in return.”

“Okay.” He squeezed her fingers. “Let me get the pizza reheated, and then we can talk about the entire thing.”

“Do you have any alcohol?” Holland cleared her throat, leaning against the counter sheepishly as Harry’s brows shot up. “I think we might need it.”

“Noted.” He said, clearing his throat. “I’ll see what I’ve got.”

🍷🍷🍷🍷

Harry’s POV

“So, Santa is your dad.” He asked Holland, his third glass of Merlot nearly empty in his hand as he stared at Holland. “And Jack Frost is trying to kill the two of us to avenge his Father’s death?”

“Yeah.” Holland nodded, taking another bite of her pizza as Harry stared at her. “You okay?”

Her voice was muffled by dough and sauce, and if Harry wasn’t so shell shocked, he might have thought it was cute. He stared at her as she slowly chewed, keeping her eyes on him as he lifted his glass to his lips. He downed the red liquid before reaching for the bottle. Instead of pouring another round, he tipped the bottle back, gulping the liquid down with ease.

“I saw your dad.” He blurted out, putting the bottle between his crossed legs. “When I was five years old, I saw him putting presents under the Christmas tree. I talked to him, and I promise him that I would never tell another living soul that I saw him.”

“I know.” Holland gave him a soft smile, lowering her slice of pizza to her plate. “He told me about that before I left home.”

“He was really nice.” Harry glanced down at his thighs. “I used to think about him all the time when I was a kid, and I loved Christmas so fucking much because of him.”

Harry could feel Holland tense up, and he knew that she wanted to ask.

“Harry.” She said his name softly, sliding her hand over his knee. “Is he the reason you hate Christmas? Because he asked you not to say anything?”

“No, he’s not.” Harry glanced up at her, taking a deep breath.

It was now or never.

He had to tell her.

“My parents died on Christmas morning in a car crash. They were on their way to the shops for more eggs, because we had this Christmas tradition where we would bake pancakes together, but we were out. They left before Gemma and I woke up, and they never came home.”

Holland stared back at Harry, her eyes glued to his own.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, moving her plate to the coffee table before taking the bottle of wine from his hands. “Gumdrop, c’mere.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Come here.” She said sternly, holding her arms open as she situated her legs out on the couch.

Harry crawled over to her, settling between her legs as she rested her head on the arm of the couch. He pressed his nose into her neck, willing the burning behind his eyes to go away.

“I can’t even imagine how horrible that must have been for you, Harry.” She brushed her fingers through the tangles of his curls. “To lose your parents in such a horrible way, I can’t even fathom it.”

“Christmas was my favorite holiday until they died.” He croaked out, sliding his arms around Holland’s body. “I just couldn’t stomach the thought of celebrating their deaths, because that’s what Christmas feels like now. It’s an anniversary for the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He felt the tears escaping from the corners of his eyes, leaking onto his own cheeks, and Holland’s neck. She tightened her grip around his waist, burying her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck with her other hand. He sobbed, his body shaking as he released all of the anger and pain that he kept pent up since their death.

“It’s going to be okay, gumdrop.” Holland pressed a soft kiss to his temple. “I know it sucks, but you're doing so good.”

“I miss them so much, Holland.” He gasped out, clawing at Holland’s body, searching for comfort. “I just want them back.”

“I know.” Holland’s voice cracked, but she was quick to clear her throat. “I wish I could bring them back for you, gumdrop. I wish I could take away all of the pain you have.”

Holland scratched at his scalp as he let out a tsunami of tears.

He was never afraid to cry in front of her.

He knew that she wouldn’t judge him for it.

“I love you so much.” She whispered against his ear, causing his breath to catch in his throat. “I know that isn’t enough to fix this, but I want you to know that I love you. It’s not okay to hold yourself back because you’re afraid of loss. It’s unfair to your heart, and you deserve so much more than that, Harry. You deserve happiness.”

“I don’t want to lose you, too.” He lifted his head up, inhaling shakily as he lifted a hand up to wipe at his tears. “I couldn’t take it, Holland.”

“You could.” She brushed her thumb over his other cheek, a few tears leaking from the corners of her own eyes as she offered him a tiny smile. “You’re so strong, my love.”

“Losing you would kill me.” He felt his throat growing tighter, and his heart squeezing in his chest at the thought.

Holland closed her mouth, inhaling before she closed her eyes.

“What?” He asked, his eyes searching her face. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Um, there’s a lot to explain, but do you remember when you asked me what would help my magic?” Her cheeks were glowing red as she spoke, but Harry knew it wasn’t because of the wine. “Helping our souls bond will make my magic stronger. I could defeat Jack if we did that.”

“How do we do that?” Frantically, he pushed up on his arms, hovering over her so that his hair fell like a curtain around their faces. “Why haven’t we done it already?

“Well, you’ve done it, but I haven’t.” She mumbled as Harry tilted his head in confusion. “Sex.”

Oh.

Fuck.

Harry wouldn’t deny that he’d thought about her like that before.

He though about it often.

“Um, yeah-” He said, his face relaxing and his lips pressing together to hold back a wet chuckle. “Yeah, that’s something I know how to do.”

Holland shifted below him, clearing her throat.

“But we can’t do it, Harry.” She sounded just as broken as he felt. “I won’t.”

“You won’t have sex with me?” Harry frowned. “Earlier you said-”

“I wasn’t thinking straight.” She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “We shouldn’t have even talked about it.”

“Do you mind me asking why you’ve changed your mind?” He asked softly, pressing his body back into hers, his arms wrapping around her. “I respect your decision either way, but I’m just curious. If the bonding of our souls is going to help your magic, why wouldn’t we try it?”

“Because if our souls are bonded, and I die….you go with me.” She sniffled, brushing her hand over the back of his head as he nuzzled his nose into her neck. “And I refuse to let you die because of me.”

“That’s not your choice to make.” He lifted his head again, shaking his head at her with furrowed brows. “You don’t get to make choices for me, just like I don’t get to make them for you. If it’s something that will help us win this fight, then I’m all in.”

He sat up, falling back to his side of the couch as she brushed her palms over her face, clearly upset and frustrated. It was cute, seeing someone with so much patience frustrated. His heart still ached with hers, though.

“I can’t.” She said. “I can’t be the reason you die.”

“You wouldn’t be the reason, Holland.” He sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair. “Jack Frost would be the reason.”

“What about Noah?” She sat up, looking at Harry. “What about Gemma?”

“Holland-”

“Your sister has lost her parents, she doesn’t need to lose her brother too.”

“Don’t.” His jaw tensed as he looked towards the ceiling. “She would tell me to do it, Holland. If she knew what was happening, she would tell me to do whatever it takes.”

“If I die, it’s over!” Holland exclaimed. “You’ll be gone, Harry.”

“I would rather die with you, than live in a world without you.” He let out a frustrated huff, shaking his head. “Is there anything besides fucking that we can do to bond our souls?”

“Not really.” Holland mumbled, looking down to her lap. “It’s when you’re the most vulnerable.”

“You’re not wrong about that.” He mumbled, trying to fight off a smirk. “If I can’t convince you that it’s worth it, would you still have sex with me before Jack Frost tries to murder us?”

Holland reached behind her back before she hit Harry with a throw pillow.

“Baby, I’m kidding!” He groaned out, holding his hands up. “I just wanted you to laugh.”

“You’re such a guy.” She growled out. “I love you, and I’d love to experience that with you, but we just can’t.”

“What was it that you said earlier, about spending the last of your days loving, and not fighting?” He asked. “That’s a nice way to love-”

“I can’t tell if you’re trying to seduce me because you really want to get into my pants, or because you want our souls to bond so that you die with me.” Holland narrowed her eyes at him as he smiled back at her. “Which one is it?”

“A bit of both, if I’m being honest.” He pulled a face, waving his hand in a so-so motion. “Both have their perks.”

“I won’t.” She whispered. “I can’t.”

“I’m giving you permission, but I’m not forcing you.” He said. “I want you to make your magic stronger, and I also want to make you cum a lot before we possibly die. I think it would be unfair to let you die a virgin.”

“You’re horrible.” Holland dropped back against the couch, covering her face with her palms as Harry laughed. “I was promised a beautiful apology, and all I got was a candle and horny soulmate.”

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Harry smirked, kneeling onto the couch before he fell between Holland’s lips with a goofy grin. “Let me kiss it better?”

Holland rolled her eyes, but she let him plant his lips on hers anyways.

“I love you, too.” He whispered, pulling back from her mouth for a second to whisper the words before he stole another kiss. “I always have, and I always will.”

#deck the halls #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry fanfic #harry fanfiction

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sly-merlin · 4 years

Text

killing me - 8

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : cursing and mention of a knife.

words :: abt 7k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! ) @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @suhweo @exfolitae @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23

@kafenetwork @neowritingsnet

K.M masterlist

K.M 7 next

Loneliness. The sentiment long forgotten was kindled again. you were so sure that you were just numb to it by now, had hoped that you won’t be affected by that ever again but the compass was directing to all the wrong sides. To experience what you first did 20 years ago was not something you were ready for but given a thought, it would never be.

This could be counted as your longest ride to the university. You felt sick to your stomach but there was no other place for you to go, no person either. It was in the heat of the moment, you realised that you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You needed someone as a confidant. You closed your eyes, sitting in the bus, recalling everyone but came out blank. Not that you lacked reliable company but there was more than one valid ground to oust the thought of it.

With a head full of trouble, as you entered the university, wonwoo messaged you to meet up. For him, your class was still in progress so you decided to consider the offer.

You and wonwoo were friends or fwb to be precise, with a strong year history. However, that couldn’t eliminate the significance of the word friend. You could always rely on him, he himself had affirmed that occasionally, your trust in him being the foundation brick of the relationship. Maybe he could offer you the consolation you craved right now or maybe his embrace would make you forget it completely.

**************

You stumbled as a tap on the shoulder startled you, but it was only wonwoo.

“Finally! Don’t you miss me even a tiny bit!” he announced while hugging you tightly. “Let’s sit on the bench.”

He took off your bag, working on loosening the straps that were already annoying him.

“how many times do I have to tell you! Wear the bag on one side , don’t tighten them or better,just quit wearing these tops baby” he nagged , looking at you but your eyes were fixated on the trees ahead. the uncertain look on your bare face was making him a bit uneasy. In addition, you did not throw killer eyes at him for calling you baby. And you looked sober. Something was definitely off.

“What’s wrong y/n. you look tired. I mean you are a forever grandma but seriously! Tell me what’s bothering you?” hearing the sincerity in his voice, you faced him, his signature honest smile releasing the tension in your body.

Facing him properly, you put the bag behind you. He was still grinning stupidly. You briefly glanced at him, brain continuously yelling to fuck taeyong’s deal and just tell him everything. Nothing was holding you back now.

Before you could utter anything, the layer of leaves on wonwoo’s head drew your attention. You reached out to remove them, but he caught your hand midway. His hand covered yours entirely as he started placing little kisses on the inside, lips travelling from the palms to the fingers and there he stopped abruptly, a squeal left his mouth at the metal touch.

“A ring. Wow. So, the great y/n knows that the shoes aren’t the only thing available in shops!” he exclaimed, chuckling loudly.

You tried to pull your hand but he did not let go. He observed it closely with a frown settling upon the previous happy face. You yanked your hand again forcibly, this time he complied.

“I have something to tell you.” You mumbled softly.

“it’s a diamond y/n.” his statement took you off guard.

“I have something important to discuss woo.”

“ it’s a diamond ring y/n!” he repeated with a lot more emphasis, voice still polite. But you got exactly what he was hinting at.

“would you hear me out. Please!” instead of denying, you tried to negotiate.

“no. first answer me. From whom did you accept it? Yugyeom? Jungkook? Minnie?”

You were left stunned at his sudden accusatory tone.

“fucking do me a favour and shut up for a sec woo!” this time your words were laced with frustration.

“oh wow” he scoffed before continuing, “ what are you here for! To inform me that you have finally found someone to settle down!”

“what! No! Why are you dramatizing so much over a bloody ring! I need you to use your ears and not mouth! For once please.” Your anger got the best of you as you yelled at him. He stood up, shielding you from the sunrays.

“you can’t possibly explain anything! I just don’t wanna talk right now.” And with that he walked away before you could give him the justification he deserved.

********************

you woke up around 1 p.m. in the library, exactly same place where you decided to sleep away your troubles, like always. After stretching your arms, you activated the phone which has been switched off earlier. As you watched the screen coming alive, wonwoo’s conversation made way to your now empty head. You weren’t so sure anymore that he could be trusted with any restrictive information. If you expose him to all what has happened, you’d be doing more harm than good. Love makes one foolish. And you’d rather die by blocking yourself than have him face the outcome.

Did that mean you loved him?

no. you shook your head at the thought. Love is a strong feeling. Especially the one he had showed you all this time.

Yes. You did love him. A lot. Just not in the way he did. But at this rate, you couldn’t say you if you deserved his love.

Multiple beeps broke out your train of thoughts. You were sure everyone was finding the culprit of breach of silence in the library. So you duck yourself into the desk to hide.

7 calls from johnny. 2 from minjun. 4 messages from johnny.

You nibbled on your bottom lip, opening the messages.

Johnny : did you reach safely!

Johnny : hey, pick up the phone.

Johnny : for once

Johnny : nobody ignores the john don. Don’t break my streak and call me back. Today! Or else I’m coming home. Make sure the dinner is ready!!!!!!!!!!!

Simply rolling your eyes, you recklessly threw the phone back in the bag, walking for the international relations section to get some work done. The second best distraction in life – research.

***********

The day was a complete loss.You didn’t study, pretended half day that you were finding a topic in the library but ended up reading animal farm again. Now you were home and with god’s grace, yuta was not back yet. Tossing the bag on bed, you changed down to cotton shorts and a tank top, ready to make a sandwich to eat as a starter before attacking the icecream you got earlier.

Big T.V, sandwich, ice cream, itaewon class, everything sans yuta was worth living these days. So enjoy it while it lasts. You slouched more into the couches as gaho’s start over played, the melodious voice slowing fading your bitter day.

******************

Yuta was just ready to sleep when he came back home. The idea of three hour training session after a week gap was certainly a crazy one but he realised it only when the deed was done. Now he badly wanted to go into hibernation mode.

Crossing the hallway, he saw the t.v playing gangnam style but noone was there except a white comforter. Upon inspection, he found you sleeping peacefully on your stomach curled up into a ball. He made a few sounds of displeasure at your figure before turning the device off. He was about to leave when something else caught his eye. Green tea ice cream.

He picked up the sealed cup, it was not fully frozen but still chilled enough. Maybe due to the air con. But he was happy. Now he could eat or drink his favourite ice cream and blow a fuse simultaneously. Ofcourse yours! He placed an envelope on the table and went away with the ice cream while not putting the lights out, that too intentionally ofcourse.

*****************************

Tuesday

Awakened by the rooster, you found yourself in the same position as yesterday. The cramp in the neck was now past the pain stage. It was numb to the point that sleeping on other side won’t help either. Supporting the neck with your palm, you started collecting the mess you had made on the table. Remote , plates, empty ice cream cup, the plastic spoon.

Weren’t there two cups???

Or maybe you just slept too much.

You came back from the kitchen to discover an envelope. A dL enevelope specifically.

Nakamoto y/n

-nonghyup financial group.

It was addressed to you! .But you didn’t receive anything of that sort the other day so that meant it definitely involved yuta. And it was from a bank. You didn’t even have an account in that bank.

Nakamoto y/n my ass. You muttered bitterly before opening it. There were some promotional coupons, a small guide on how to open an account. You scoffed at the unnecessary stuff that was giving away nothing. Then you saw it.

A MasterCard. With your name. new name!

You gave the package a once over before closing it again, putting it in the original position. You were fully capable to survive on your own, there was no need for taeyong or yuta’s mercy when it was essentially to fulfil their own feeble ego. It felt like a kick to your noble gut!

Ignoring it completely, you went to wash up hurriedly so you could get out of his hair before he could attempt to spoil your mood any further. When you came back, a very unfamiliar sight astounded you. A man with deep blue suit stood in the kitchen with his back to you and if it was not for his blonde hair, he could easily be mistook for some gentleman. Due to the light blending sound of the juicer, he had missed your incoming. As you passed the sink to get to fridge, dirty dishes caught your eyes that he still hadn’t washed. You were not going to put your hands in his mud and before he could order,you told him off.

“ clean after yourself before leaving or it’ll stink in here.” You quietly said as you washed the oranges for breakfast.

“whaattt?” he asked like you were speaking some gibberish.

“I said clean these dirty dishes”

“Says who!” he raised a brow at you. “the one who was sleeping in the trash herself!”

“what trash? Oh! That was just a plate. And worry about yourself, I know how to wash mine!” you replied continuing the peeling.

“huh! Don’t boss me around. あなたは私の母ではありません!” before you could ask him what he muttered, he threw something on the pile. You slightly winced at the clatter but didn’t turn around and let him leave.

You examined the mess. The noise producer was a glass. The juicer was also filled with vegetable residues. One could only hope that he would take up your suggestion or you would be banning yourself from the kitchen, for ever!

You were peeling the second orange when he came out of his room and rushed out like his tail was on fire. A frustrated sigh left you as you took in the state he left the kitchen in but you were not going to be his maid. If he wanna eat, he could do it himself.

After breakfast, you did some finals revision which were approaching in three weeks but not like you were not prepared. All the papers were submitted, just the thesis topic submission was left which everyone else was already done with. Even jungkook. But you were instead going to use the day to make up with chelin.

******************

The day went as fine as it could. Chelin agreed to go shopping with you but it took more than just a takeout to sincerely apologise this time. She denied you half day, making you race for her forgiveness but eventually gave in at the end, with terms and conditions of course.

You studied till late night but didn’t hear yuta returning. But the next morning you knew that he didn’t arrive at all. And in exasperation and for your own well being, you cleaned the sink to remove the stench. As much as you wanted to call taeyong, he won’t be helping you in anyway, that you were sure about. He pretended to take your side but at the end he was always yuta’s brother. And you were just a nobody.

*******************

Wednesday 3:43

Johnny: where are you? Answer me asap.

You : I’m studying. Don’t disturb me!

Johnny: sure. Don’t show me tantrums and come out. i’m waiting

You : waeyoo??

You groaned at the message. Avoiding him was no more an option!

You : where are you? I’m already on the pavement.

You looked around for a tall figure but he was nowhere to be seen.

“you are alive!” johnny jested, turning you with your shoulders to face him. He was clad in off white button down and white pants, making your worn out self feel like a beggar.

“you tracked me again?”

“woahh! You hit my generosity with a shit face! Expected better from you.”

“ did. You. track. Me .johnny!”

“you started it by not replying. I was worried!” he defended himself a bit comically.

“I swear I’m going to drown this bracelet in a sewage!” you bellowed while getting out of his grip.

“you know you can’t do that and it’s waterproof and maybe gutterproof as well so think harder about throwing it. Hyuck would find it eventually and make you wear the same piece!.”

Scrunching your nose in disgust, you muttered a curse at him which only earned a chuckle from him.

“why are you here anyway.”

“for shopping.”

“what shopping?”

“clothes! Duh. You have a celebration to attend!”

You scoffed at his casual tone. “ what celebration johnny. I’m not doing another shit on taeyong’s order.” You declared, hands crossed on chest.

“it’s not something grand. Just a small get together of office workers and you know you can’t ditch tae.”

“office event! That’s another reason to avoid it. I would be alone with yuta and If you don’t know already, he literally pulls his knife at me everytime he sees me! He’ll k-

“I’ll be there.”

“oh so now this is an office event with family members! Good luck convincing me this time!”

“who said anything about attending as family.” He said, winking at you and dragged you by right arm towards his car. Once you were seated, you stopped him from going further.

“nope. Listen. Lemme think first , then I’ll decide what to wear on my own. If you have time, just drop me home. I’m hungry and I have some work to do.” You tiredly said, dropping your head on the seat. He could only chuckled at your antics.

“then we’ll eat something before shopping and I’m not hearing another word. Fasten your seatbelt lady, we are going on a highway to shopping!” you laughed at his cute shout and he took it as a signal to drive.

After insisting johnny that you were going to pay for your own dress, you both stopped at the mall food court to eat something. A full tummy rotated your mood 180 degrees and you were ready to have him pull you around. He dragged you from store to store to only end up doing window shopping until he found THE ONE! That was what he declared it to be!

You both went around different aisles to pick some clothes. Though you could afford those, you still didn’t had the heart to do so. Your precious money was going for what! Clothes?

After something like twenty minutes, you both met near the changing room as decided.

“Go change and give me a show. I don’t trust your old school brain.”

You huffed but did as he said.

He has gotten mixture of bright colours and soft shades, sleeveless and thin strapped, long dresses!

And the one you chose were south to his north. You wore one that you picked at first, a solid black knee length flowy skirt dress with long sleeves. It looked good on all the right places, so you went out to show him.

“how’s this?” you asked him excitedly but the mood died down seeing his dull expression.

“no! you ain’t wearing anything this short!”

“Knee length is not short johnny”

“change it!”

“uugghh!”

The next dress you wore was ivory draped puff long sleeve mini dress. You almost cooed at yourself but he rejected it again. at every dress you chose, he shook his head in disagreement.

“why don’t you try mine ones?” he quipped.

“um. I don’t wear sleeveless.soo..

“why? Those looks sexy girl!”

“no! get me anything quarter or long sleeved but not these thin straps and no questions coz I’m not answering any!” the questions in johnny’s head died down before he could even form them.

“okkk. No need to bite me over that. Wait lemme find something.”

You stood in the changing room for what felt like eternity when johnny finally called you out with his nosy loud voice.

“these!” he handed you two dresses and signalled to change.

“why are we hustling so much. It’s not like anyone’s gonna bother!” you said in a bored tone, feeling the heaviness of the dresses.

“just go already. I’m getting hungry again!”

Both of his dresses were beautiful. All the previous ones looked quite dull in comparison. And just by looking, you already knew what you wanted. as you took in your appearance after changing, a smile lit up on your face. It was a powder blue dress with golden embroidery. The plunging neckline with fitted waist accentuated your best features though it would only properly fit when you were not bloated from eating. Sheer elbow length sleeves with gold hid what you wanted to in the first place, so they were alright. The satin skirt was long , resting right against your legs, not too flowy but you could already imagine yourself in your black heels that would be hidden under the skirt ,yet complementing it perfectly.

you presented yourself in front of johnny.“I want this one.” You said, tightening your hair tie. he wordlessly walked towards you and removed it, setting your straight hair on your back instead.

“how do I look?” you questioned hopefully. His face adorned a very light smile but it still reached his eyes. He moved backwards and examined your form , pretending to be evaluating you with hands tucked in his pockets.

“you look like-” he paused before biting his lower lip as if finding something peculiar to say. “a woman.” He completed, gaze still fixed on your eyes.

“what! A woman. That’s all!! you are just like- just like yeong! Ugh” you stomped your feet before going back to change into original jeans. You were expecting some high quality comment but nevermind.

After you were gone, johnny couldn’t control his laughter. He knew his compliment was lame , heck it wasn’t even a proper compliment but he meant it. And it was not for the dress you wore but for the smile that he saw for the first time. He sighed before he saw you approaching.

“I’m also hungry. Let’s get takeout. Devil won’t be home. We can peacefully eat without interference.”

Johnny chuckled again before following you.

“hey, isn’t this one a bit expensive.” He enquired as the other dress was a bit cheaper.

“I don’t care. I’ll think of this as a long term investment.”

“how?”

“I’ll repeat it at your wedding!”

******************************

Your stomach growled loudly as you opened the door. Johnny tailed behind you with arms full of food and clothing bags. He went to kitchen as you proceeded to find your shorts, dying to get out of the hellishly tight jeans. Holding your hair in a low loose ponytail, you exited the bathroom only to find johnny standing there like a pole.

“what?”

“what! I gotta pee. Get out!” he pulled you out while entering himself. You returned to the kitchen mumbling incoherently at johnny and opened the take out boxes. As you made your way for the couches, johnny shouted at you.

“you animal!”

“what? Did you call me?”

“you need to heat it first. I’m not gonna eat like an animal!”

You felt slightly unnerved when he extended his hand to carry them to the kitchen again. in no way you were going to stand near it so you transferred the boxes and made your way to the room.

“heat them. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“no wait! why are you always running?” he placed the boxes on counter in a swift motion and rushed for your door.

“why are you hiding now?” he asked knocking lightly, not sure if it was locked or just shut down.

“don’t you have food to heat?”

“oh so that’s your way of running from chores!” he dragged out the last words mockingly.

“no its not like that.” Your said in a small voice. “I’ve an irrational fear of beeps. So I can’t go near the microwave.” You mumbled, voice filled with embarrasement. You weren’t sure why you told him but the bullet was out now.

Johnny went quiet before opening the door to find you standing, head hung low. Taking your arm, he pulled you out of the room.

Now you were standing in front of the oven, scared if he was going to run a test on you. You tried to back away but he was quick in caging you with his long ass arms.

“here,” his finger pointed to a certain button, “this is a mute button. You can shut this damn thing dude. Were you living under a rock or something?” he screeched at you in a high pitched voice, making you wince. But you were stunned at the discovery and you were sure chelin was as illiterate as you were in this matter.

“is it also some expensive shit?”

“no dumbo. Most of these have a mute function. Either you were stupid or just unlucky to buy a wrong one. But what’s with the scare.” He asked with curiousness in his eyes.

You drew your eyes away, wishing he would let it go but his deep stare ultimately broke you.

“Umm old trauma,” you started , avoiding his eyes, “I was in the accident with my mama and dad.I don’t have vivid memories of it, the only thing I remember is the noise of ambulance, police, some shouting. Nothing more. When they took me to their hospital room ,maybe coz I was crying or something, they d-died in front of me. H-heart monitors. Beeping again. when first time mrs.park , my orphanage caretaker , took to me to kitchen to make me food, I screamed and lashed at her violently. A lot of teasing followed that incident, by the senior kids ofcourse. But its only limited to few things, I don’t get triggered by cars or music. And she never took me to kitchen after that, maybe that’s why I never overca-.” You faced him as you completed. “th-that’s the story.” Your voice came out as a harsh deep breath.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll keep my mouth shut from next time” He apologised, his hands sliding from the counter to your waist. “ I- let’s heat this. Your first time. I’ll show you how we use this high end gadget.” He suggested, lightening the atmosphere instantly.

“yeah. I’m very excited!” your words were cheerful but voice wasn’t. he gave you a full on tutorial like a salesman at which you nodded like a very compliant customer. Now you were waiting. Sometime while showing you, his arms had securely held you against the counter, comfortable smiles resting between you two. Johnny’s eyes scanned every feature of your face, in a gaze that was not very tricky to describe. Your own hands were resting on the counter, twitching under his scrutiny. You didn’t want to but couldn’t help thinking if he-

“Woah! What. Is. Happening?” yuta’s surprise entry alarmed you both as johnny levelled himself up, covering you from yuta’s inquisitive eyes.

“Nothing. you say? How was office.” Johnny inquired, immediately changing the subject.

“they love me. That’s enough for me. But what are you up to suh? He wiggled his brows, neck craning to indicate behind-the-scenes happenings.

“we-we went to shopping. And we were gonna eat now. You wanna join?

“shopping? What did you got? Condoms?” he whispered the last part with a devilish smile.

Johnny glared at yuta to which yuta answered with a tired look.

“enjoy yourself. it’s better that I sleep off whatever is gonna happen here. Just keep it low. I’m fucking exhausted and dead.” He retired saying it loudly enough for you to melt in humiliation but he didn’t know explicit comments won’t make you feel low in shame.

Johnny circled to face you after his departure, embarrassed eyes wandering all over the kitchen cabinets above your head.

“I’m not gonna touch it. get it out.” You motioned for the food that was burning in the heat, according to you.

“oh!”

You both went to couches to enjoy the food and talked for about 30 minutes more. It seemed like yuta was seriously out like a light. You laughed, ate, gossiped and when the session ended, he was well aware of your infatuation with certain kinds of drinks and you knew that hyuck was the stinkiest person on earth. All was well and he left, making you happy for the time being.

**********************

Friday

For the whole day, you were busy. Prof. kwang suddenly thought it was best to summon you to fill the absence of his assistant, adding fuel to misery. But you were able to function fully for you hadn’t run into yuta in the last 24 hours. After completing the extra tutoring sessions, you finally arrived at the destination.

You ran out of the elevator as you were already late. Maybe beyond late. As your room keys jingled, a voice stopped you from turning the knob.

“you are late! We were supposed to be there at 7:30. Taeyong is gonna be pissed off at me now and all because of your shitty time sense.” He gritted his teeth,making you angry but when you turned around, you knew you had fucked up. He was fully ready in a black suit, hair swept back and all , like a gentleman but you didn’t get the time to admire him as the look in his eyes was literally enough to scare you.

“I’m a busy person. Just give me few minutes. I’ll be out.” You said quietly, not ready to start a verbal fight with a no-brain case.

“don’t do that.” he stopped you again from entering the room. “ take a shower first. You ain’t sitting in my car with that smell.”

You bit your lower lip to control the overwhelming urge to kick him in the balls for his hypocrisy and simply shut the door.

After a quick clean up, you changed into the blue dress, did some light makeup to hide the black holes under your eyes. Completing the look with red lip, you went out, bare handed.

Yuta was on the couch, playing some game when you saw him.

“aren’t we getting late or something?” you scoffed , standing in his vision. He sized you up as his pupils dilated. Not wanting to entertain him anymore, you treaded to find your heels. He joined you after a few minutes and within two minutes, you were out.

******************

As you entered the decorated hall, you knew johnny made the event sound more smaller than it was. How you were going to survive the long night was beyond your imagination. Every corner of the room was filled with people chatting away with each other. The more you looked, the more you felt like an outsider. no familiar figure met your sight. The anxiety started creeping in and that’s when you saw someone approach you.

“fashionably late yuta! Its understandable though. Look at y/n. she looks so pretty!” taeil exclaimed, wiggling his brows at you.

“hurry up would you?” yuta said in irritation.

“nope. You are still my employee so tongue in your mouth. now let’s announce your arrival first.”

You followed him like a cat, only stopping somewhere at the centre of the room. You noticed that taeil’s footstops gathered attention like none other.he glanced around before clearing his throat as an indication for everyone to quiet down.

“I don’t need to tell anyone why we are here! But formality is a trend in business and I shall follow it to my deathbed,” a combined laugh followed from everyone but it seemed like an inside joke for you. “yuta nakamoto, our dear employee got hitched in a very intimate ceremony and don’t worry even I wasn’t invited! But tradition continues and here were are gathered to celebrate their happiness. He would be gone soon again so it’d be nice if you all give your wishes and blessings for their future. And I’ll also introduce y/n to the family. She is nothing but a charming woman and i hope she ditches others to join our company one day!” a round of applause followed and taeil cleared the path for everyone.

One by one, people loomed towards you to congratulate in their own way. A hand snaked around your waist, startling you momentarily. “just smile.” His whispered into your hair. You nodded before putting on the biggest smile possible for a person stucked in your position. A few stolen glances at him showed that he was also flashing a bright smile as he shook several hands. Some asked your name, some were interested in your occupation whilst one was interested in knowing the jeweller of your ring. You couldn’t say taeyong so you just waved it off with few giggles. Millions questions were running through your head and there was noone to answer. The aroma of the food passing around in trays was not helping the grumbles coming from your empty stomach. Though you both moved to a corner, fellow employees were still taking turns to have the business and personal talk with your husband. He spewed words like he was the ultimate game, but you knew better just by the way his hold on your waist tightened at some particular questions.

You would’ve surely enjoyed his distress but you wanted nothing more than to eat a piece of cake that that just flew by you. luckily for you, a waiter halted at your stop. You grabbed a drink and hurriedly took a sip to soothe your nerves, all when yuta was staring like a hawk. He observed your nervousness right when you entered but it was heartbreaking for him to avoid poking fun at you.

He gulped his glass in one go, releasing a sigh of relief, as he saw taeyong and others approaching. kun, johnny, jaehyun were tailing behind but they seemed quite distant.

“hello mr. lee. We are glad to have you here.” Yuta formally shook taeyong’s hand, your face instinctively scrunched up at his behaviour.

“I see you married a very fine young woman.”taeyong also cajoled but in a very professional tone.

“you met her! She’s y/n. my partner in crime! Loveliest wife ever. But be careful, she’s a bit nosy.” He pointed his words towards you while keeping an arm around your shoulder. You simply rolled your eyes at him. You were about to threw his arm away when others approached you.

“If I wasn’t concerned about my repo here, I would have cooed at you y/n. I wanna pinch your cheeks so hard right now. Everyone thinks you both are so happy, but only I know how constipated you are from inside woman!”jaehyun laughed like he just shared a joke with you but not holding back, you just unleashed the exaggerated version of his laughter.

“oh jaehyun!” you started, slightly hitting your glass on his arm, “ not sure about a pinch, but I can surely punch your pretty face and guess what! I don’t have any repo to maintain. So its your responsibility that I don’t explode or else you won’t have anything to be concerned about anymore.” You finished letting out a fake giggle, but seemed like everyone but jaehyun found it funny as they were all laughing at the diss.

“atleast you think I’m pretty! No wait! it sounds all wrong!” he suddenly whined, encouraging everyone to laugh loudly at his state.

He was still being grumpy when an old man stopped near you, escorted by taeil making the uproar stop immediately. They all bowed at him and you followed suit. From the looks, he seemed in his 70s or maybe more.

“i love when young people find love. Who do you work for kiddo?” he lovingly asked you.

“I’m a masters student. Law specifically. I wish to join chois one day.”

“chois? I don’t like those leeches. You should try in qian mutlinationals. Kun have more opportunities and you can go international from there. He can give you a free ride till china, beyond that you can explore yourself!” as he finished his wise advice, you turned to kun in surprise. He nodded his head at you with a sheepish smile, confirming the words.

“sure, I’ll give it a thought.”

“and you nakamoto! I heard you were back last week but who would like to greet this old man who’s gonna die anyway.” He scoffed at him and you could sense the tone of friendliness in their interaction.

“you are the one to blame. You don’t get out of your house these days. And you don’t even care enough to visit us anymore.”

Now you were super confused.

“ohh! So she knows everything. When were you gonna tell me! When I had gotten diabetes with all the sweet talking.”as they all expressed their amusement, you were getting restless from all the unknown.

“I would love to hear your love story but I am extremely hungry. But y/n I have a work for you”, you nodded at his words, “ convince moon to remarry. I can’t watch him die like me, alone and unhappy. This manforce have failed so I expect a smart woman like you can find a way to do that. Please promise me, you’ll do it for this old man.” You were out of words but taeil made your work easy as he dragged him away.

“I think you’re drunk enough. Let’s worry about me while eating the delicious food.”

“only you can do it y/n!” and he was gone.

“you’ll get all answers so don’t worry. You look lovely by the way but I shall take my leave as I’m also very hungry.” Taeyong explained patting his stomach. Looked like everyone was getting food but you!

“y/n-ah! Not that shorts don’t suit you but dressing up just scaled up your beauty.” kun chimed in causing yuta to scoff. The way air was leaving his nose, it’d blow up anytime soon.

“johnny’s fashion sense is immaculate like always.” Johnny said, raising his collars.

“don’t blow your own trumpet. I was the one who chose it!”

“huh! What she chose were donkey dresses!”

“donkey! You need to change your dictionary.”

“respect. I’m a top level worker in lee financial corps.” He said smugly.

“so they just hire anyone wow!”

“not jus-

“stop you two! We are still here.” You glanced at kun and yuta, eyeing you both.

“I’m just hungry kun. I just had breakfast and coffee and nothing else.”

“then go and eat. I also need a breather from you!” yuta barked, playing with the empty glass.

It was your turn to snort now. But johnny linked his arm with you to take you away before the war could start. You ate as much as you wanted while questioning him,

“how can these employees have so much energy to spare. Don’t they work 9 to 5, then get time to attend a stupid party!”

“they were given half day off today.” He replied, munching the tofu.

“who was that old man?”

“that’s all part of a circle. You’ll complete it one day but I can’t tell u here so wait!”

“hmm. Then what about taeil? About remarrying him! And taeyong and kun’s companies. Dude that’s huge. How do you manage your syndicate.”

“stop! Cant you eat in silence woman. You’ll know when it’s your turn.”

“ok last one. How can yuta be an employee here when only thing he knows is to make juice or slice people!”

“we have his backup who does the actual work. Yuta takes cares of the investors and all. So he’s supposed to be anywhere but here. So it works out. And fyi he’s quite an eye candy here.”

“then go flirt with him! I ain’t in need of a poison candy.”

after gobbling all the starters, you conversed with him for about 20 minutes whilst enjoying your drinks. And he took you back to you designated seat for the night, right by yuta’s arm.

Earlier, you were being hoarded with guests, now it was your turn. It seemed like you were yuta’s assistant who was taking mini business reports from employees. By now you had no doubt that yuta was nothing but a chameleon, well versed in hiding his true self to blend in the corporate environment. You smiled as much as you could, giggled when yuta laughed and turned towards you, gulped numerous kinds of drinks and now you were a bit tipsy or maybe just tired or both.

You were handling fine being yuta’s dear wifey until they announced that there was a dance. And the stupid couples already hurdled to the centre to show off their skills which you didn’t have in the first place. You heard yuta groan as he pinched his nose and that was his most agreeable expression he had from the whole night.

“let’s just flee after this” yuta suggested.

“hell no! my dancing skills can’t be exposed to these prim prom perfect people. I ain’t doing it.” You continuously shook your head at him, the enmity forgotten for a moment. But he had other plans.

“don’t you dare step on me. I’m gonna eat you alive if you holed my shoes!” he suddenly moved you to the pool of people dancing on the floor. He guided your hands on the right places and the position made you both well aware of the tension in each other’s bodies.

“just do what others are doing.” You craned your neck from side to side but got nothing.

“nobody is doing anything. They’re just stitched to each other!”

“exactly.” And without any warning, he pulled you into him, your grip on his shoulders tightening instantly.Standing chest to chest with him, you totally forgot the need to exhale. You didn’t dare move as he delicately swayed you from side to side, his eyes boring into yours. You wondered what conception were you both throwing at others. He was no pro like you but still managed to look like one.

It continued for few moments until jaehyun interrupted you.

“can I have her hand in dance” he asked yuta to which the man just released you. it was so sudden that you were taken aback by his sour mood but everything about yuta was sudden so you didn’t paid much attention when you had a mountain of trouble standing in front of you.

“may i?” jaehyun asked, bowing to you.

“no!”

“oh come on. I’m much better than yuta in dance.” He jerked your hand and next moment you knew, you were waltzing with him. He was doing what you call actual dancing.

“you looked so romantic with him and here I get the stink eye.” he sighed at you.

“because I am confined by the demand of this situation or else even you would be sporting a black eye by now!”

“I feel extremely hurt y/n. we are same age so shouldn’t we be getting along.”

“getting along my ass you son of nepotism.”

“that’s so unlady like behaviour. You should be accepting friendships when you are getting them. As said by a someone very famous, life is fleeting and in your case, I won’t trust the lifecourse too much.”

“stop using instagram quotes on me. Read the context then put into application, jaehyun. Life is fleeting. Chances would be gone before you know it.”

“when was the last time you listened to someone without running your brain hmm?”

“the same day when you were taking a break from running your mouth.”

“you are a terrible dancer.”

“you aren’t any good either.”

“what was the name of the boy who gave you hickies?”

“you want classes from him?”

“nope. I’m more than better at my game. I just wanna confirm what is he? Blind or dickhead! Coz no sane man would come near your beasty at-

“I hope you love your shoes.”

“what!”

A gasp left him, face turning red as he shut his eyes tightly to contain the pain. you had stomped on his foot with your pencil heel and now he couldn’t do anything but mutter curses as he progressed slowly for the bar to sit. Yuta joined him soon only to fan the flames.

As the time passed , drowsiness took control over your senses. Dinner was being closed by now, but you were the hosts or were supposed to be , so there you stood by the door with same i-am-so-in-love-with-my-hubby and it-was-pleasure-to-meet-you grins plastered on your face. Yuta’s hands would be calloused by the amount of hand shaking he had done but not that you cared.

Goodbyes were sent to taeil and johnny as well and when you were about to leave, jaehyun and taeyong came over with some papers in their hands.

“y/n you forgot to sign these. This one is for the property situated in gangnam. I know I promised three in the same area but I changed my idea for bigger and better. This one’s is in Incheon and other is in busan, your hometown!” he recited as he showed you the stamped papers. You were not sure about taking anything from him so you refused.

“no taeyong. I’m good. I’ve my sources and I’ll be joining summer internship so I can fend for myself.” You reasoned.

“it’s part of the deal. Just sign, I mean well please.”

You felt everyone’s eyes on you as you tried to think harder about it.

“leave it taeyong. This tie is killing me so let’s just talk tomorrow.”yuta said, loosening his bow tie.

“It doesn’t concern you yuta and y/n its part of the promise. Do it or I’ll have to force.” Your jaw clenched at his desperate tone. so you snatched the pen , ready to do as he demanded.

“where do I have to sign!”

“here!” he pointed out on the first file. “and y/n y/l/n nakamoto!”

You nodded without glancing at him and signed on all the three files, making it official.

Taeyong flashed you a smile as you returned him the pen, “I’m glad it worked fine. Now you must be tired so we’ll let you retire.”

You passed him without caring enough to reply. Soon enough , yuta joined you.

**************************

The passing trees and streetlights provided the comfort that you didn’t know you needed. It was sweet, the feeling of being alone yet not letting others feel the same. you were trying to count the number of streetlights as you passed speedily.

“aren’t you smart enough to know why taeyong took your signatures tonight?” yuta broke the silence. he took a sharp cut as you lost your count. Not receiving an answer, he spoke again, calmly, “ those properties were on earlier registered on taeyong’s name and that busan one is mine. Taeyong is sharp witted man you should’ve been careful before giving in to him.”

“what are you trying to say!”

“everything’s flying through your head right! To put it simply, you are part of mafia now.” Your head snapped towards him in utter shock as words left his mouth, “ if you try to rant us or steal any info to give away, upon background checkout , you’d be found equally involved in the illegal activities of neos for when if it is proved that me or taeyong are part of underground, our properties would be sealed , stamping your future with them. You won’t even escape income tax department let alone cops! Those buildings are after all, result of our illegal income!” he stopped as he took another turn, not aware of how your eyes were glistening by now. “you can’t leave unless taeyong wants you to and pray if you would ever be able to! It was a surprise for all of us as well so you don’t need to feel betrayed at all. You, me, taeyong, johnny. The great black neos!” he finished as the car halted in the parking lot.

As soon as he unlocked, you ran out of it, tears rushing down nonstop. Elevator seemed too slow, the mirrors were making you more dizzy as it moved upwards. Everything came in flashes from the moment you passed by that alley. This was not the deal that you accepted! Regret and guilt filled you as the the lift opened. Throwing your shoes in the midway, you ran to your room as the tears turned into sobs, wrecking your whole body. Turning in the keys, you casted yourself onto the bed. With burning throat you passed out there.

And yuta stood outside your door, emotionless, in an attempt to envision how this would end for the both of you!

********************************************

yuta or johnny???

thank you so much for reading!

#kafenetwork #neowritingsnet #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct yuta #nct angst #nct arrange marriage #nct mafia #yuta angst #yuta arrange marriage #yuta mafia

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stillbandofbrothersthirsty · 3 years

Text

As Far As Friends Go

Chapter 9 (Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8)

****TW: Please beware that this chapter mentions miscarriages and may be triggering.

Emily - March 1944

The world seemed to narrow in around them. The black sky felt heavy, draping them in a blanket of privacy where all time seemed to stop. Nixon looked frozen staring at her.

“What?” Nixon sounded gobsmacked.

She could only imagine what she looked like standing there in front of him. Her hair was down - he rarely saw it down since she was always in uniform. The icy breeze blew wild strands of auburn across her rosy nose and cheeks. Emily had rushed out of the hospital and had spent the entire train ride back crying and doing her best to make sense of her emotions. She hadn’t thought once about checking her compact to fix her complexion or hair as her body brought her back to the base that had become her home.

All that ran through her mind was the vision of John’s hospital bed and the woman who sat beside him. As soon as she had seen that woman turn, her profile punctuated by her bulging stomach, it dawned on Emily that nothing but opportunity lay before her. She was no longer tied to this man. Everything Emily had ever wanted began with her returning to the airborne division of the United States army, so she immediately did just that.

“I’m free,” she repeated. She smiled up at him as tears filled her eyes, giving her a manic look.

“What do you mean? Why aren’t you in Worcestershire?” Emily shook her head as if in awe and Nixon wondered if she had gone mad.

“When I got there he had another woman at his bedside.” A tear ran down her cheek. Nixon stepped forward with an outstretched hand as if to comfort her. Emily quickly wiped the tear away, “no I’m okay, it’s okay.” Nixon stopped just in front of her. His eyebrows wove together in confusion and Emily knew she had to go on, “John was involved with another woman,” Emily swallowed as she felt her face grow red. She couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that she had been usurped by another woman. “They met in Liverpool when he first docked over two years ago, before Italy. Almost immediately after he left the states actually,” Emily laughed a bitter laugh. “And she’s pregnant, with their second child.”

Nixon let out a low whistle. This caused Emily to burst into a fit of giggles. She didn’t know why- she wasn’t sure why she was responding this way at all. The entire train ride back to Aldbourne her mind had gone in circles trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the short morning she had spent at the convalescent hospital. The plan she had when she first arrived in England was completely shot to dust. What would her parents think? What would they say? Who cares what they had to say, Emily reminded herself. That was her new mantra. The end of her relationship hadn’t been her doing, she had done everything right. If anyone was at fault now it was John. Now free from guilt, Emily was free to make her future anything she wanted it to be.

Nixon was looking at her as if she was crazy when she finally recovered herself. “It’s fine, I’m fine.” She pressed two fingers against her temple and exhaled.

“Are you?” Nixon’s eyes were wide with bewilderment, “Emily that is.. that is fucked up. And you didn’t know?’’

“No! Didn’t even suspect,” Emily said almost laughing again, “although, a lot does make sense now. I may have accidentally received a few letters meant for her over the past couple years.”

“What did you mean you’re free?” Nixon was nearly a silhouette in the darkness though they were only standing inches away from each other. The gears were turning in Emily’s mind. She wasn’t sure how much she should reveal to him, but at this point did it matter?

His eyes narrowed. “What?” he asked.

“Can we go inside to talk? It’s cold.” Emily shivered for effect.

 Nixon took her suitcase and led her inside. By habit, they ended up back by their desks in the intelligence room. Officers filled every other comfortable room in the manor house but even so this work room was where they both felt comfortable.

“Coffee? Tea?” Nixon asked going over to the coffee station.

“Tea sounds lovely,” Emily said.

“You really like that stuff? It tastes like brown water to me.” Nixon disappeared to fill the kettle. When he returned he placed the piping hot pot on a crochet pad and set to preparing Emily’s mug with a strain of herbal tea leaves. It was sweet, Emily thought. He had such a look of concentration for such a simple task. Emily felt too restless to sit down so she leaned against Nixon’s desk as she waited for him to finish.

Eventually, Nixon handed her a well-steeped cup. He leaned against her own desk across from where she stood, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand.

“So what did you mean you’re free?” he asked. So much in Emily’s world had changed in the last twelve hours but Nixon was still his impetuous self.

Emily inhaled deeply, trying to think of how to best explain herself. “What I meant was, I finally feel free without a fiancee. My life, my career here, was on a timer and each day it ticked closer to the buzzer. Now that I’m not engaged I could do anything.”

“Sure, but free is an awfully dramatic word to use.”

Emily shrugged but Nixon didn’t miss her withholding smile. “It’s not like you were trapped, being engaged isn’t a death sentence,” Nixon cocked his head, “well, not complete death.”

“It wasn’t the end of the world, no,” Emily conceded, “but it wasn’t what I really wanted.”

“Then why were you engaged to him in the first place?”   Emily eyed Nixon wearily. “You can tell me,” he said soothingly, “I promise Em, you can trust me.”

Emily sipped her tea meditatively. Could she trust him? He had teased her over what she had confessed to him in the past.

 “Fine, you don’t have to tell me,” Nixon said, “but just know that I regret embarrassing you back then.” Nixon nudged his shoulder, gesturing back in time. “I shouldn’t have teased you about something sensitive, especially in front of Harry.”

Emily flushed hot at the mention of Harry. She had thought of him on the train. Then she had thought of Kitty. The woman she had only briefly seen in a little black and white photo, and a character that seemed further away the more she and Harry spent time together. If Emily had learned anything today it was that not all men were as noble as they seemed. A very deep-set, shameful part of Emily wondered if Harry weren’t as noble as he seemed.

“You have to promise, Lewis. If I tell you anything it stays here, between you and me.”

“Between you and me.”

Emily cleared her throat in preparation and took another sip of tea. “I met John at a Notre Dame social. I liked him enough at first. He was cute, still a boy, but entertaining enough. I was so bored at school and happy to have a distraction. And, I have to admit, I didn’t hate the other girls envy that I was on the arm of a Notre Dame football player.”

Nixon snorted, he couldn’t stand jocks. Emily glared at him. “Continue,” Nixon prompted with a wave of his hand.

“Anyway, things were fun, casual. And we began…” Emily circled her finger in a propelling movement, “ya know.”

“What?”

“We began having relations.”

“You slept together?”  

“Yes,” Emily said curtly, “which again was just fun and casual.” She paused, “but then I got pregnant.”

Nixon’s eyes widened. His expression said what everyone’s did; so where’s the baby? A steel hand clenched around Emily’s heart.   

“Obviously, it was a disaster when I found out. I wasn’t married, hadn’t graduated yet, but at least I had a guy on the hook. I didn’t know who was devastated more, me or my parents.” Emily’s gaze was far away now. She was falling away into the land of memory. The only thing anchoring her to the room was the hot mug clutched tightly between her hands. “I felt like my life was over. The best I could hope for was that John would make a decent woman out of me, which he did. He proposed. My parents, my mom, was thrilled and the wedding was rushed ahead. The hope was that we could be married before anyone realized this baby was conceived out of wedlock,” it was Emily’s turn to snort.

“But a few weeks before the big day I began bleeding,” Emily tried to swallow past the rock that had formed in her throat. The sorrow that had overwhelmed her then was edging itself back into her chest. “I lost the baby,” her voice was barely a whisper, it was all she could manage. “my mom thought John would cut and run. He had no reason to be with me anymore. She told me I was spoiled goods. She was terrified no other man would want me. I asked her why did anyone have to know? But in a town like ours, the size of ours, it was unavoidable. Everyone knew about the wedding and suspected the reason. Luckily, John didn’t cut and run. He honored our engagement. The wedding was pushed back but then Pearl Harbor happened, and John enlisted.” Reaching the end of her sad story, Emily finally looked at Nixon. His eyes were darker then she had ever seen them. His mouth was fixed in a taught line across his face. She couldn’t read him at all. He was probably disgusted by her - her recklessness, her lack of backbone and desperation for any man who would take her. “So, now you’re all caught up,” she said quietly.

“Emily,” when he finally spoke his voice was raspy, “I’m so sorry.”

Emily fought against the sobs that were forming in her chest, her throat and eyes. If she let the tears fall they wouldn’t be out of relief like before but tears of utter grief. A grief she didn’t have the energy to touch tonight. She shrugged, “yeah, well, apparently I was just an obligation to John. But that’s fine, he was only meant to be a fun time for me. We weren’t each others forever.”

The corner of Nixon’s mouth turned up, “careful, one may say you’re a romantic Miss Rooney.”

Emily smiled, “maybe one day. Not today, I’ve got a job to do.”

“Come here,” Nixon pulled her into a tight hug and Emily let him. She allowed her body to melt into him and allowed herself to, in that moment, be completely dependent on him. She exhaled her suppressed sadness gratefully into his broad chest. The lump in her throat grew stronger but she fought against it by concentrating on Nixon’s warm embrace, the smell of his aftershave and the roughness of his uniform against her cheek. All was well with the world, she reminded herself. Her future had never seemed more hopeful.

Finally, Nixon released her. “Ya know, George Luz is going to be thrilled to hear you’re single again.”

 Emily laughed a true laugh and punched him on the shoulder. “Leave it alone, Lew.”

#band of brothers #hbo band of brothers #fanfiction #as far as friends go #lewis nixon #lewis nixon x oc #original character #harry welsh #george luz #george luz x oc #harry welsh x oc #hbo war

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louezem · 4 years

Text

Saying Yes

Summary: Katniss and Peeta had a bitter break up years ago and went their separate ways. Katniss knows nothing of Peeta’s life now, until a stunning blonde walks into the exclusive bridal salon were she works, to buy her a dress for her wedding - to Peeta Mellark.

Part Four - Sisters…..

Part 4 - Sisters

“Prim? Are you here?”

Katniss threw her keys and bag down and toed off her shoes with a sigh of relief. It had been a long and frustrating day at work. All she wanted was to shower, eat and then sleep.

“I’m in the kitchen!” her sister replied. “Dinner’s almost ready!”

Katniss offered up a silent prayer of thanks that she wouldn’t have to face another takeout or frozen pizza for dinner tonight. She knew how to cook but was lazy about it when she only had to cook for herself. Prim, however, loved to cook.

She followed the delicious aroma wafting down the narrow hall to the tiny kitchen. It was barely big enough to hold a small table and 2 chairs, but Prim had set it with the nice plates and cutlery and a small bud vase holding a single, yellow dandelion.

“What’s all this?” Katniss waved at the table. “It’s not my birthday.”

“Does it need to be a special occasion for me to show my appreciation for my favorite sister?” Prim asked, lifting a spoon to her mouth and offering it to her for a taste.

“Mmm, that’s so good.” Katniss licked her lips. “It tastes familiar. What’s in it?”

“It’s lamb stew with dried plums.” Prim smiled as she added an extra dash of red wine to the simmering pot. “I remembered how much you love it and I thought I’d try to recreate the recipe. Besides, lamb was on special at the market today.”

Still thrifty with the budget. Katniss thought. Old habits die hard.

“Go get cleaned up. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. I just need to warm up some crusty bread to go with this.”

“I love you, little duck,” Katniss said, pulling her sister in for a hug.

“I love you more, duck potato,” Prim grinned.

An hour later and Katniss was feeling full and sleepy as she curled on the sofa with her legs tucked under her, sipping on a second glass of red wine.

“Thank you Prim, that was wonderful,” she sighed, patting her full tummy. “I always appreciate a home cooked meal but I thought you had plans to go to the movies with Rory tonight?”

“I did but he caught an extra shift so I decided to come over and bug you instead.” Prim said, joining her on the sofa.

“So, did you happen to catch any news today? Hear any juicy celebrity gossip at work?” she asked, taking a sip from her own wineglass.

Katniss looked sideways at her sister, wondering why she was asking such an odd question. Prim knew Katniss was not big on the news or gossip – celebrity or otherwise.

“No, I was run off my feet all day. I don’t have time for gossip. There’s a trunk show on all week and they can get a little crazy.”

“Huh,” Prim starting tapping on the screen of her obnoxiously large smart phone. “Then you haven’t seen this?” She slowly turned the phone screen to face her sister.

Katniss fought to keep her composure as she watched the images unfold in front of her. The video captured a gorgeous smiling couple standing close together, hands intwined, on a gilded balcony overlooking the park. A fireworks display was lighting up the night sky behind them. Once the fireworks come to an end the couple and their guests start to clap and cheer and someone pops a champagne cork as music begins to play and other couples start to filter onto the dancefloor.

Dressed in the one-of-a-kind flowing white and gold reception gown created by Cinna, paired with custom Jimmy Choo couture heels and her golden hair flowing in loose waves almost to her waist, the bride was every bit as breath-taking as Katniss knew she would be. Holding her close to his side with an affectionate smile on his face was Peeta. He looked equally handsome in a perfectly tailored white suit with gold accents at his throat, breast pocket and cuffs.

Though Cinna never talked to her about it – most likely to spare her feelings - Katniss knew he’d worked closely with Portia, the designer who created Peeta’s outfit, to ensure the bride and groom perfectly complimented each other on their special day.

She couldn’t help looking carefully at Peeta’s left hand now placed on Glimmer’s waist expecting to see the shiny glint of a new gold band on his finger but he didn’t appear to be wearing one.

That’s odd. She thought. No wedding ring?

She always thought Peeta was the type of guy would like to wear a ring when he got married.

When they were dating he was always very open about showing his feelings for her, and would tease her gently when she got embarrassed by his frequent public displays of affection. “I want the whole world to know I’m yours,” he’d told her, more than once, gently tugging on the end of her braid as she’d scowl.

Unable to continue watching him display affection for another woman was more then she could bear and she pushed the phone away.

“They make a very lovely couple,” Katniss said quietly. “I hope they’ll be very happy together”.

Prim snorted out loud. “Katniss did you even read what’s under the video?” she held the phone up again.

“The Show Must Go On!”

An official spokesperson for the Snow family declined to comment following the cancellation of the nuptials between heiress Glimmer Snow, granddaughter of Coriolanus Snow, and her fiancé Peeta Mellark, Culinary Director for the “Arena” chain of restaurants owned by the Snow Corporation. However the brother of the groom, Mr Ryan Mellark, confirmed that the decision by the couple not to proceed with the wedding was both “mutual and loving” and that the couple would remain friends.

“I don’t understand,” Katniss looked to her sister, confused. “Are you telling me they didn’t get married?”

“Yep. No wedding. They called it off at the last minute but went ahead with the dinner and reception anyway, which is kind of cool. One of Rory’s classmates was working the bar for the evening and he says it turned into one hell of a party. But then I guess the Snow family does know how to do things in style.”

“Wow. I wonder what happened to make them call it off.” Katniss stared into space as she tried to process this new information. She’d purposely avoided all news and social media over the weekend, hoping that if she distanced herself the sooner she’d be able to forget the intense look in Peeta’s eyes as she’d driven away from the hotel. “So much time, money and effort went into those dresses, poor Cinna worked for days hand beading the reception dress—"

Prim rolled her eyes.

“Lord almighty Katniss, you can be so dumb sometimes,” she took another sip of her wine. “Isn’t it obvious what happened? Peeta claps eyes on you again for the first time in forever and the next day his wedding is called off. He still loves you.”

“That’s not true.” Katniss jumped off the sofa and quickly gathered her wine glass and the near empty bottle. “Don’t say that. Why would you say something like that?”

“Hey, give that back!” Prim tried to grab the wine bottle from her as she stomped past into the kitchen and began angrily slamming their dirty dishes into the dishwasher. It wasn’t long before she heard her sister’s soft footsteps behind her.

“I’m sorry Katniss, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Prim apologised quietly. “I’m worried about you, that’s all. You haven’t been yourself since you found out Peeta was getting married.”

Katniss sighed. “I’m fine Prim, really. You’ve no need to worry about me. Peeta and I were over a lifetime ago. I’m over it. I know absolutely nothing about his life now.”

Prim tilted her head and regarded her sister with cool blue eyes. “Will you ever tell me what happened between the two of you? You’ve never given me a straight answer.”

“Does it matter now?”

Prim shrugged. “I’d like to understand. I was still a kid when you two broke up and no one bothered to explain what was going on to me. It was confusing. All I knew was one day you were getting ready to leave for college, the next you were staying in District 12 and applying for any low paid job you could get. Why didn’t you go?”

“Because things changed,” Katniss scowled. “Family comes first.”

Prim squinted. “Really, Katniss? You’ve fobbed me off with that line for years. I was hoping you were finally ready to open up with a few more details. I know you loved Peeta, don’t bother denying it. Your feelings for him weren’t the problem. Or his for you, everyone could see how bad the guy had it for you. It wasn’t Mom, or money issues. She was fine then and you had a full scholarship. There’s something else you’re not telling me.”

“All right, if you want to know I’ll tell you.” Katniss reached up into a small cupboard a produced a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. “Follow me. This conversation is going to require something a bit stronger than wine.”

Settled back on the sofa once again, she tossed back a shot and took a deep breath.

“Peeta accused me of cheating on him,” she began. “When I tried to defend myself, he didn’t believe me. He chose to take his brother’s word over mine.”

“No way.” Prim gasped, her eyes widening.

“It’s true. Rye told Peeta he caught me making out with Gale after a graduation party at Madge’s house. Rye didn’t believe me when I told him that Gale kissed me, that I didn’t invite it and I didn’t kiss him back. After cussing me out and calling me a few choice names he went straight to Peeta and told him.”

“Oh, shit.” Prim’s mouth dropped open. She picked up a full shot glass and threw it back before fixing her sister with a stare. “Okay. In the interest of full disclosure I have to ask – did you make out with Gale?”

“Of course not!” Katniss yelled. “Gale was my friend! I’d known him since we were kids. Besides, Madge liked him and I wouldn’t do that to a friend.”

“But did you like him? Let’s face it, Gale is attractive. In a Hemsworth kind of way.”

“No. I only ever saw him like a cousin, or maybe an older brother. I never felt anything romantic for Gale. It shocked the hell out of me when he kissed me. We didn’t talk for a long time afterwards.”

“Okay, okay, I just needed to clarify that. Continue, please.“

“Peeta and I had a huge fight and he broke up with me. He was horrible to me Prim.” Katniss voice cracked a little as the memories assaulted her. “He wouldn’t give me a chance to defend myself. He was so mean, I’d never seen him like that before. He was like a totally different person.”

Katniss felt the familiar sting starting to build behind her eyes and bit her lip in order to try and gain some control over her emotions. It still hurt, remembering the words that came out of his mouth.

“He asked me had I led Gale on, and told me to crawl back to the slag heap I came from.”

“Oh my god, Katniss,” Prim’s eyes softened and reached towards her sister “I’m so sorry—"

“Wait! It gets worse!” Katniss let out a hard laugh. “As if that wasn’t bad enough, somehow Peeta’s evil bitch of a mother found out about what happened. She called Mom and threatened her. She told her that if her seam slut of a daughter went ahead with her plans to go to the same school as her son, that she’d report her to Child Protective Services for neglect. She’d tell them about Mom leaving us alone at night while she worked, and that you would be left at home by yourself at 14 if I left town for school. She even knew about the bouts of depression after Dad died. All stuff I’d confided in Peeta about.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” Prim jumped of the sofa and started to pace up and down. “It’s so unfair. And untrue! Mom and I talked about what would happen when you went to school, I was going to stay overnight with Hazelle at the Hawthornes when she was on nights!”

“You know that and I know that, but Mom was terrified. She didn’t know what to do.”

Katniss downed another shot.

“After she threatened Mom, I tried talking to Rye one more time. I begged him again to believe me that what he saw wasn’t real, but he insisted I was lying. That Gale had been seen at the slag heap with a girl from the Seam, and I must have made it worth it when he could have had Madge instead of my skinny ass. His words. I never really understood that part.” She frowned.

“I told him about his mother’s threats and he finally said he’d talk to his Dad about keeping her off our Mom’s back, but only for your sake and only if I agreed to stop trying to contact Peeta. So I did what he wanted. I gave up my college place and started applying for jobs and signed up for a few classes at the Community College.”

“So, it was me.” Prim’s eyes filled with tears and she crawled towards her sister and wrapped her arms around her in a fierce hug. “You did it for me.”

Katniss shrugged like it was no big deal. “You’re my sister. I’d give my life for yours in a heartbeat.”

“You’re such a dumbass but I love you.” Prim began to cry harder. “You sacrificed so much Katniss. Your education. Your future. Peeta. I’ve never seen you as happy as when you two were together, not even when you were with Darius.”

“Hush now, no more of that talk.” Katniss soothed her crying sister, tears forming in her own eyes. “It all worked out for the best in the end. I was here when Mom got sick and I took on a second job to help pay the bills. We got by, and we stayed together. That’s what Dad would have wanted. Family comes first.”

“Peeta was a part of our family. He was like a brother to me when I was a kid.” Prim sniffed. “Why didn’t he believe you? And what the fuck was Rye’s problem?”

“I don’t know. All I know is his mother always hated me, but I never knew Rye did too. Peeta and Rye were always close, and once Rye started filling Peeta’s head with lies I just couldn’t get through to him after that. He never spoke to me again after he broke up with me. A few weeks later he left town for school and I never saw him again until that day on the steps of his hotel.”

“Katniss, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry. It sounds like his mind was poisoned by his brother and that horrible old witch who gave birth to him. God, I’d love to give her a piece of my mind. As for Rye? I swear, if I ever see that guy again I will dick punch him.”

“I saw Rye the day before the wedding, he has mellowed quite a bit,” Katniss continued to stroke Prim’s blonde hair soothingly, taking comfort from the continuous motion herself. “He was almost pleasant once he realized I had a legitimate reason for being there.”

“I owe you so much Katniss,” Prim sat up, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Because of your support, I got to come here, go to school, do everything you missed out on. Everything I’ve achieved is because you. How can I ever repay a debt like that?”

“Don’t worry, you can pay for my luxury retirement home on the beach in District Four when you find the cure for cancer,” Katniss quipped and laughed as Prim hit her with a cushion.

Later that night, after Prim had left and Katniss was getting ready for bed, she couldn’t help but look for a small box she kept hidden in the furthest corner of her closet.

Inside were a few sentimental items that even after ten years, she never had the heart to throw away.

A pencil drawing of a dandelion he’d put into her locker one day, after she told him they made her think of him.

A movie stub from their first date. She smiled at the memory. Peeta had taken her to see “I Am Legend” and got embarrassed when he cried over the dog, Sam, dying. It was still one of her favorite movies.

A photo of them together at Senior Prom, and another of their High School Graduation, big smiles on their faces just days before he broke up with her and her world came crashing down.

“Oh Peeta,” she mumbled, “why didn’t you believe me?” She sniffed. No, she wasn’t going to cry. She’d already done enough of that for this lifetime.

“… maybe you should crawl back to the slag heap you come from.”

She felt a spark of anger in her own stomach when she recalled the things he’d accused her of. It was an old spark, but one that had helped her keep going and moving forward over the years. She slammed the box shut and shoved it back in the darkest recess of her closet before crawling into her bed. She had run from the bakery that day. Run from his words and the rage and hurt in blue eyes that had only ever looked at her with softer emotions.

She closed her own eyes and pulled the covers over her head, hoping she wouldn’t be hearing them over and over in her nightmares that night.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

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#promptsinpanem #15Days #for Kika #Kristin Rouse #baronesskika #authoresskika #in loving memory

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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Title: Trials and Tributes (Complete)

Summary:

"There were witches who lived among them. Or so that's what Levi was told. He just could not believe for the life of him that she'd be one of them."

Levi is a soldier who interrogates witches before they are put on trial and Hange might just be a witch.

Levihan Secret Santa Gift for @cleacourgette

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Link to other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Notes: Merry Christmas! @cleacourgette. Here is the completed story.

Although I did some research on this, I don't think I would have been able to pull this story off without taking some liberties on my end history-wise. If you've read Rangers Apprentice, you might find some slight Easter eggs here since I based a lot of the medieval setting from medieval fiction more than actual medieval history. I hope you enjoy this though!

There were witches who lived among them. Or so that was what Levi was told.

Their powers manifested in the occasional droughts, the famines and most notably for Levi the plague that had taken his mother from him. That plague and the aftermath was what had him moving into a cabin with his uncle at the tender age of eight and training to be an assassin.

Having lived most of his young life in that small cabin, as a kid, Levi was never really able to pinpoint when exactly humanity decided to fight back against the witches. A few times his uncle had brought him to the square to watch the trials which usually ended with a witch being burned at stake or a witch being thrown into the sea.

As a child, he had felt his gut clench watching the desperate faces of the women tied to the stake as the flames licked at them for a few minutes before they started to consume them alive. By the time the flames did morph into a carnivorous tiger ready to devour its prey alive, young Levi would look away--- every single time.

That was more than a decade ago. Levi had seen more than enough trials and the crimes the women were accused of and the angry fathers and the crying mothers who broke down while they testified the crimes were more than enough for Levi to understand the need for retribution and King Fritz’s declaration to rid the word of witches.

They were responsible for the plague that had taken the first son of the parents, the child that had wandered into the forest and was eaten by a boar and the crop shortage in one village that had caused their downfall.

As the king’s right hand man and most trusted soldier, Levi stood at every single trial and every single execution. Compared to back when he was a kid, he at least had the stomach to look the witch in the face every time. His heart still clenched as he had made eye contact with them or caught the moment their eyes went dark as the flames consumed them.

It could just be their powers. If the witches had the power to start plagues and cause chaos in villages then they probably had the power to manipulate hearts too. Levi had to remind himself of just that every time he felt that bitter taste in his mouth at every witch they had executed.

It was a painful scene to watch every single time, only leaving Levi mentally exhausted and so mentally distraught that he would have preferred to have spent the day shooting a thousand arrows with the hardest bow or to do a thousand swings with the heaviest sword in the weaponry.

Instead of closing his heart to them though, he ended up doing the complete opposite.

He made sure to see a human in every single one of them. Willing himself to see it was a small, personal yet excruciatingly painful challenge Levi forced on himself every time. The more he allowed himself to sympathize, the more he would be able to get to know himself and his emotions and consequently the better he’d be able to stop himself from being manipulated when it mattered.

It was a lesson on mental constitution and loyalty towards his cause. Levi was determined to stand for it, unwavering. Levi found himself talking to them before they stood on trial, learning their back stories. Some had gone crazy denying accusations and even attacking him. Others had just laughed it off. Others have even remained catatonic.

Levi had become familiar with the many ways witches handled the accusations and the impending trial. The sights and sounds of witches and the way they had all handled their impending trials were all gut wrenching but routine. And routine was the only reason why Levi was able to stop himself from planning an escape route for every one of them.

Routines---like rules and all other things--- are meant to be broken and for most people, will be broken eventually. For Levi, it was broken when he entered that same interrogation room to catch a whiff of that scent. Levi had relied so easily on the sights and sounds, on the tears on the witches’ faces and their desperate final screams. Nothing had prepared him for the way witches could smell and the faint scent she had exuded as he entered the room. It only left Levi a little taken aback and maybe a little vulnerable.

Others would have probably described it as flowery. To others it would have been fruity.

To Levi, those two scents were just too intertwined. If he did have to sum it up into one word, he would have just said ‘different’. It was fruity. Yet it was also flowery. The most glaring part about that scent though was the way it chilled the air closest to him. It entered his nostrils as a cool wind every time and even during the hottest days of summer, it would be winter in his nostrils. It was cold yet it smelled of late spring and early summer. So unnatural. So unique. Maybe that was what made it easy for Levi to connect that scent to one from some buried memory long ago.

Even before he took in the unkempt brown hair hastily tied up and those hazel eyes as they looked up at him, just by her scent, Levi knew for sure who it was and where they had met.

But why is she here? Levi thought to himself as he made eye contact with her.

“You sure she’s a witch?”

“She was captured in your hometown sir. In the nearby woods.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.” Of course she’d be there. That’s where I found her so many years ago. That’s where I fucking grew up.

The guard tensed up. “Sincerest apologies Mr. Ackerman. I don’t know the exact details. They will be made public in the trial.”

“Give us time and space then. I’ll ask her myself.”

“But sir, you mustn't stay too near. She might hex you.”

“And I’m willing to take that risk,” Levi said tersely as he settled himself on the seat in front of her.

“Sir, you’re our best weapon in the army. We ca--”

“It’s an order.”

The guard may have been a few years older than Levi. The latter had proven himself to be a competent fighter on multiple occasions, putting himself in a rank much higher above most of the soldiers. He never took advantage of it. Until that moment. Somehow, it felt like it was a risk worth taking.

Her face had matured yet the glint of mischief and wonder in her eyes had remained. He took in the view in front of him and indulged in the wave of nostalgia that came with it.

"Is the herb garden still there? Did you finally put borders around it so people wouldn’t mistake it for weeds?" He started with questions only she would have answered correctly.

Trials and Tributes

Levi carefully trudged through the soil. The boots Kenny had given him actually worked to mask the sound of foot rubbing on earth and the spray of the sun as he did. It wasn’t enough though, the grass seemed particularly eager to announce the entrance of any human who stepped on them.

With every blade of grass he stepped on, he was probably killing more of them. It’s only natural that anyone would want their murderer caught red-handed.

Imagining the grass beneath him at least had some sentience was a small thought Levi decided to play with, having gotten tired of doing the same drills alone everyday since Kenny had left a week ago for a mission.

At that point, Levi was still learning to stay silent. The cloak he was given did a good job giving a base at which to work with. In the end though, it was only the weapon. A weapon is only as valuable as its user and while Levi still struggled to master the art of silent movement, the cloak can only be too valuable too.

The change was gradual but from the short patches of grass, Levi found himself entering an area where the grass shot up closer to his shins. The longer the grass was, the more challenging it would be to breeze through it silently. There was just more area for the grass to brush against, rustling and consequently making the sounds Levi had so wanted to avoid.

He had made at least a few feet, completely satisfied by the fact that he had not made an embarrassingly loud rustle just yet.

Just yet. Maybe he had been a little too careless or a little too excited. Maybe for a second he had been so into his little daydreams about grass being obsessed with justice that he had failed to notice the rustles, then the angry footsteps. It was only when the warm air was right on his neck did he realize he had been the one who had failed to notice that he was still very loud.

“Hey! Get off my herb garden!”

Trials and Tributes

“No. I’m not putting them in cages.”

I want them to grow freely. Putting up borders makes them look like caged animals. She had explained before that putting up fences and borders around plants had only made her heart hurt similarly for them as she had done for the many animals she’d seen in cages as a kid.

Witches were evil. All they caused were chaos, death, destruction. They were all in the testimonies he had watched so many times before. The proclamations by King Fritz.

Levi could not believe that someone with that much empathy for anything living could be what she was being arrested for.

Why did they arrest you? He’d find out the reason soon enough during the trial.

“What were you doing when they arrested you?” It was a question with an answer which was so commonly and easily twisted by the guards assigned to catch the witches that Levi always felt it so necessary to ask it to them directly

“I was in my cabin, mixing poultices and potions.”

My cabin. Somehow, the way she had said it brought Levi back to that isolated cabin in the woods he would visit when Kenny wasn’t home. He lived a little too far from the town square and had been swamped with combat training. He had craved for some company, ideally someone his age and she who lived in that little cabin surrounded by herbs had been the only one he could turn to.

“Poultices and potions for what?”

“Healing."

"Healing who?"

"The townspeople."

Levi could not help but smile. “Why am I not surprised that you got into that type of work.”

Of course, she has always been good at that.

Trials and Tributes

“And this is why you shouldn’t be using a bow and arrow for that long.”

Levi bit his lip and looked away. The last thing he had wanted her to see was the tears he was fighting to keep in, just in case they did come out. He had had enough cuts, injuries and even close calls with death to know how many ways the body can get fucked over by nature and man made objects. Blisters ranked up there among the most painful wounds and stubbing one’s toe.

She was gentle though when she had wrapped the bandages. The poultice she had put on his blisters surprisingly did not sting. In fact within minutes, the stinging pain had calmed into something dull and easily forgettable.

“Did you make it yourself?” Levi observed more closely the interior of the cabin. There were glass bottles lined up on the wall with different liquids and preserved matter in them. He had been there many times already but it was only then, as he finally got to experience the healing powers of the liquids first hand did he really allow himself a good look at the room.

So many poultices and potions were lining the walls yet Levi had never seen anyone else in the cabin. He eventually figured out that was the only logical explanation. He was sure though she was only early into her teenage years, just like he was.

“Yes. I made everything here myself,” She answered, only confirming his suspicion.

“For what?”

“For fun. What else is there to do here?”

Share it to the world. Levi had wanted to say. He kept it to himself though. The way her face darkened as she asked that question only made Levi think that it was something he shouldn’t pry on her. When he did think about it, someone as friendly as her would not have lived in isolation against her will. Something must have happened.

“So what happens to the poultices you make?”

“They just sit here and when they go bad, I throw them away.”

Levi felt a second hand pain at the thought of wasting such effective ingredients. “Would you mind if I came back here more? So at least someone could use them?”

She beamed. “I would honestly love it if you did.”

Trials and Tributes

“You look like you’ve grown since then,” she gave him a naughty smile. “Maybe an inch?”

“Watch your mouth. You’ll be going on trial soon,” Levi said sternly. He knew the smile which so naturally crept up his lips betrayed the tone of his voice. She had made that same joke many times before.

“I meant you’ve changed,” she clarified.

“Of course, I have. How long has it been? Ten years?”

“Wow? That long? I’ve waited for you that long?” Her eyes widened in surprise. The brunette stood up and slammed her hands on the table. It was loud and maybe the way she stared at him and slammed her feet on the table was a little chaotic. They had dealt with crazier witches though and the guards did not even bother to peek in.

Levi bit his lip, quelling the guilt inside him. He still remembered, he did promise her they’d meet again. I mean, we did meet again right? Levi thought wryly to himself as he considered the circumstances of their reunion. He had considered visiting a long time before. But the three day walk or the one day carriage ride just did not seem worth it, especially since he had gotten busier with work.

“You said you’d be back. I had faith we’d meet again. I just didn’t think we’d meet like this.”

Trials and Tributes

His uncle Kenny had been missing for over two years. He should have seen it coming. His uncle had said so himself multiple times, he was not fit to be a father.

The one thing that had made the isolation all the more bearable was the cabin only a ten minute walk away. They had gotten closer over time and Levi started to feel more and more at home when he’d stop by after a long day of training to get his cuts and blisters treated.

Every month, he would still make the long trek to the nearest town once or twice. That was where the opportunity to enlist in the king’s army made itself known to him. They had sold the idea as one for glory, for money. Levi saw it as something else.

The training his uncle had given him from sneaking skills, archery skills, knife throwing and combat skills had to have been for something. As the town crier stood on his platform announcing the call for manpower for the next war, Levi’s mind was racing. Maybe it was an opportunity to find his uncle. Maybe it would be a good chance to see the world. Maybe it was a way to find out the origins of the witches that took his mother away from him so many years ago.

He knew though, to answer the many questions running through his head, he had to find a way out of their small village. The easiest way lay in front of him as King’s army enlistment. The town crier prattled on about free transportation, free weapons, free training and the opportunity to live a life of luxury in the capital but Levi did not listen. He had already made his decision.

“So you’ve finally decided to leave huh?” She didn’t bother to hide the disappointment on her face as she placed a mug of tea in front of him.

“There are just some questions I need answered. Can’t do it here.”

“Yeah, should have known. Nobody would want to live in a cabin in the woods their whole lives.”

“Why don’t you go with me?”

“I’ve told you before. I can’t leave.” She avoided his gaze. Why had she never left the woods? He had asked that question so many times before, only for the conversation to shift elsewhere.

“You’ll come back though right?”

“Of course. I grew up here. This is still my home.”

“Then I’ll wait.” She went towards the cupboards, took something out, walked back to him and pressed it on his palm.

Levi could only stare.

“Why do you look so dumbstruck? It’s a poultice.” She explained. “You’ve tried everything else I’ve made. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why your aim is so good now.” She noted playfully.

Levi had to nod as she said that. Ever since he had started taking her potions and applying her poultices, he improved remarkably as a fighter. “What’s this one for though?”

“It can soothe pain, sores. I thought you’d need it fighting a war.”

He only needed to open the bag slightly for the scent to waft out and fill the room.

“It’s pretty strong so you’ll only need a pinch every time you’re injured,” She said as she quickly pulled the drawstring bag closed again. She was too late though. The strong scent had already settled in the air. “It’s my favorite. Definitely the one I’m most proud of. And you can get a free refill when you come back. Maybe I can even make a better one.” She smiled ruefully. “You promise you’ll be back though right?”

“Promise.”

Trials and Tributes

The room had smelled just like the poultice when he had closed the door on her. That was the one poultice that saw him through the two year war, then three more years working for the military. Maybe that was why at that moment when he laid eyes on her in the interrogation room, it had brought him such a wave of nostalgia, making him recognize her almost instantly.

“Did something happen?” His superior asked within a second of Levi entering his office. It was just like Erwin to know something was not routine at first glance.

“Hm?”

“This last visit to the prison took you longer than usual. And you seemed a little distracted when you entered my office.”

Levi looked out the window. The sun was far past the horizon already and the sky was too dark to even make out shapes against it. The prison was underground so it was a little more difficult to notice the passage of time there. He couldn’t help but note though that that was the first time he had come out of there to see that it was dark outside.

“That's what I wanted to talk to you about.” Levi had rehearsed his lines on the way up. Only the king would be able to give him permission to do what he wanted to do and the only person who could convince the king was his superior Erwin. He trusted Erwin but from his eyes, his request seemed so out of character, he could not even predict how Erwin would react. With Erwin’s comment though, he had given Levi a good opening to ask.

It’s now or never. “I want to handle the trials of the witch I met in the prison today. The one who came from my hometown.”

“Hange Zoe?”

That was her whole name? Years ago, he had only ever called her by her first name Hange. He had even forgotten her first name. During the meeting, he had been so focused on how they had both changed, the promise he had failed to meet and the circumstances of their reunion. As his mind raced trying to process that piece of crucial information, Levi could manage a nod.

“I guessed there might have been something between you too. Your hometown was a pretty small place.” Just like Erwin to be a little sharper. “Also, this is strange. You never really wanted to get involved in the actual trials and executions. Until now.”

Levi was trusted enough by the king and the military for his presence to always be requested in every trial and every burning. Every trial had left his chest a little heavier and his mouth a little more bitter-tasting. Erwin had at least noticed that enough to never request Levi to be there to facilitate it.

Regardless of his lack of history with any of those witches who had gone on trial, a heavy chest and a bitter taste in his mouth were always there, maybe they were even just the bare minimum of what he felt with every trial.

Compared to many of the others he had interrogated though, he had a history with that Hange Zoe. Levi knew he would be taking a risk. “She might just be the witch who was responsible for my mother’s death. I want to be there in the frontlines when justice is served,” he answered.

And that was a risk he was willing to take.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hange #levihansecretsanta #levihanss2020

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masterofmunson · 4 years

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all i ask of you (4)

Harry Styles x Fem!Reader Broadway AU

Summary: You’re forced to work with your famous ex boyfriend on Broadway.

Word Count: 6.1k+

Warnings: language, drinking, drama, cliff hanger!

Author’s Note: woohoo! i’m back baby! so sorry for the long delay of part four of the story. please tell me what you think! reblogs, comments, and asks are encouraged and appreciated <3

Jane nearly tramples you as the two of you make it out of the basketball arena with your college diplomas in hand. You laugh and hold on to her tightly as you walk through the arena to the front doors where you know your entire family is waiting.

“We did it! We graduated college!” Jane shouts.

“I know! Can you believe it?” you ask her. It had been a long and hard four years for the both of you. You constantly questioned if it was worth it. People always doubted you. They didn’t believe you could have a promising career with a Music and Theater degree. It didn’t matter if you had prospects on Broadway in the near future. No one but your closest family and friends believed in you.

You walk out the front doors and eagerly search for your family. Jane tugs on your arm, finding your families first. You hurry over to your mother and brothers, hugging them tightly in a group hug. Your oldest brother, Garrett, lifts you off the ground into a tight embrace. You laugh and cling to him before your family friend Glenne tackles you for a hug.

It surprises you that she’s here for your graduation. You knew she’d been invited, but you hadn’t expected her or her boyfriend to come. It makes you slightly upset that they took the time to come celebrate your accomplishments with you, but your boyfriend Harry couldn’t. You understood why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He wanted to be as private about your relationship as possible, even though he could’ve still come to support you as one of your closest friends. No one would ever know that the two of you were dating if Jeff and Glenne were around.

“What are you doing here?!” you laugh as Jeff kisses your cheek and hugs you tightly. “I told you that you didn’t have to come!”

“Nonsense!” Glenne shouts with a growing smile. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world, and we brought a surprise with us!”

Your eyebrows pinch together as you stare at her. What surprise? Your loud mouth baby brother surely would’ve spoiled it for you. “What do you mean?”

There’s a soft tap on your shoulder and Glenne smirks nodding her head at the person standing behind you. Jane gasps in surprise as she stands between her dad and sister.

You spin around and your eyes meet those of your handsome, rockstar boyfriend. You gasp and he grins, taking you in his arms. You cling to him and he secretly presses a kiss behind your ear.

“You said you couldn’t come,” you whisper in his ear as he holds you.

“I would never miss my girl’s biggest accomplishment, even if it means I’d have to hold off from kissing her until we're in private,” he answers back sweetly, making your insides all warm and fuzzy.

….

On opening night, you made the executive decision to let bygones be bygones. You wanted the show to succeed, regardless of how you felt towards Harry. Everything is water under the bridge. You’ve moved on. You’ve healed. You’re a different person now than you were four years ago. At least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself.

So as a sign of good faith and a step towards the right direction, you went to your favorite coffee shop and bought Harry a coffee and bagel for breakfast. You had a good feeling about tonight. You always do when it comes to opening night. It doesn’t matter how nervous you are.

Keying into the back entrance of the theater, you open the door and walk down the hall into yours and Harry’s shared dressing room. The door is already open and the lights are on which tells you that Harry’s inside. You take a deep breath before stepping into the threshold of the room.

What you don’t expect are the amount of visitors this early in the morning. The first person you recognize is Kendall. You know you shouldn’t be surprised that she’s here. They were together before you were with Harry and are still friends. It never sat right with you while you were dating, but you never told him that. You were too busy falling in love with him.

Then you recognize his sister and his mom. You’d only met them a handful of times, while you were still friends and when you were dating. They’re lovely women and you liked spending time with Gemma whenever she visited. There’s a few others sitting on the couch when you realize they’re a part of his band.

It’s silent when you stand at the door. They’re all staring at you and you feel like you can’t breathe. This wasn’t how you wanted to start your day, especially today of all days. Right now isn’t a good time to give his friends and family a tour of the place, especially when curtain call is 10 hours from now.

Harry moves to approach you from his spot next to his mother. You immediately exit the room and walk down the hall away from prying eyes and ears. Harry gently places a hand on your shoulder, causing you to spin around and face him. You recoil from his touch and shove the food and drink you bought him in his hands.

“Here,” you say. “Consider this my olive branch.”

Harry murmurs your name gently. “Listen, I had no idea this many people were coming to the show and wanted a tour of the place beforehand. I didn’t know Kendall was coming. I’d gotten the okay from Frank and it was Jeff’s idea—”

You interrupt him with a bitter laugh and shake your head at him. “Right, because nothing is ever your fault. Whatever, Harry. I don’t care. Invite whoever you want, I don’t give a shit. Stop acting like you feel the need to run things by me. I’m not your girlfriend. Just do what you want and leave me alone,” you snap at him. You walk into Aaron’s dressing room and shut the door loudly behind you.

Harry frowns, staring at the empty hallway before walking back to the dressing room with the bagel and coffee in his hands. He avoids the shocked looks directed at him as he enters the room, especially from Gemma and his mother. He tries to pretend not to notice.

“Jesus, Harry,” Gemma chastised him. “Why didn’t you tell us you were in a show with your ex girlfriend? Especially considering how things ended!”

Anne gently slaps her eldest in the arm. “Now’s not the time, Gem,” Anne answers for her son. “He needs to focus and we should all leave. It’s unfair to the rest of the cast to be a distraction, including Y/n. I’m sure seeing all of us just scared her.”

“That’s painfully obvious.”

Everyone leaves the room and exits the theater, leaving Harry alone. He sighs, sitting down in his chair. He runs a hand through his hair and groans in frustration. He’s so sick and tired of messing things up with you. Harry understands why you’re so cold and hostile towards him. He knows he deserves it.

Having his family, friends, and even Kendall in the dressing room scared you. He knows that but did it anyway. You don’t know what he told them when your relationship ended. Did he put the blame all on you? Did he make you the bad guy? The aforementioned crazy ex girlfriend never to speak of? Knowing how terrible of a boyfriend he was to you at the end of your relationship, he probably did.

Harry reaches for the cup of coffee you bought him. He takes a gentle sip and hums in approval. Even though it’s been several years, you still know that he takes his coffee black. You always teased him about it and called him grandpa as a result. He thought it was sweet.

He pulls the bagel out of the paper wrapping and takes a bite. You remembered his favorite bagel too, even after all these years. Even after all the things he did. There’s just some things you don’t forget, no matter how small.

In Aaron’s dressing room, you finally reveal the true nature of your relationship with Harry to him. Jane couldn’t contain her smirk or laughter as you rant about your famous ex boyfriend.

“Wait, what?!” Aaron shouts, shaking his head at you in disbelief. “Your ex boyfriend, the ex boyfriend that made you choose between him or Broadway is Harry? Harry Styles thought he could make you choose him over your career?”

“Yes, Aaron,” you say for the umpteenth time. “I know it’s a shock that the Harry Styles is and was an asshole considering what his brand is.”

Your co-star frowns in response. He stops pacing the room and takes a seat beside you on the couch. He takes your hand and gives it a firm squeeze.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

You nod your head in response before sipping at your coffee. “It’s okay. It’s history now. I’m over it, and despite what happened, I forgave him. I know in my heart that he’s a different person now than he was when we were together but he just made me realize that I shouldn’t be with someone who isn’t willing to put in the work or compromise to be happy. Maybe that’s why I’ve been single ever since,” you laugh, leaning into him.

There’s a soft knock at the door, causing you to sit up. Aaron shouts that the door is open and Harry pokes his head in. He laughs nervously and scratches the back of his neck. Both Aaron and Jane glare at him.

“What do you want, Harry?” Jane snaps at him, standing up from her spot on the couch. She puts herself between you and the door, blocking you from his view.

“I just need to talk to Y/n. I have something for her,” Harry answers, peering over Jane to look at you.

You sigh and stand up from your spot on the couch. You pull Jane away from the door and walk out of Aaron’s room without a word spoken to Harry. You return to your shared dressing room without anyone else inside. Harry trails behind, shutting the door. Taking a seat at your makeup table, you watch Harry carefully pick up a bouquet of beautiful lilies in a glass vase. He sets them on your table and you smell the flowers immediately.

“I know I keep messing things up between us. I say something stupid and I do things without thinking. I’ve been incredibly selfish and despite the fact you want nothing to do with me, you’re still helping me because you want the show to be a success regardless. I’m really sorry and I also wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done,” Harry apologizes with a gentle, sincere smile.

You swallow hard. You hadn’t expected him to apologize. Knowing he planned to apologize with a bouquet of flowers that symbolize forgiveness twists something inside of you. You don’t know what it is exactly, but it feels good. It’s a step in the right direction.

You laugh softly. Despite not seeing each other since the break up, you and Harry still seem to be in tune with one another. Of course he would get you flowers, a personal favorite of yours, on the day you bring him breakfast. Some things are harder to break than others.

“What?”

“It’s just funny to me that even after all these years, we’re still in sync. You brought flowers for me on the same day I brought coffee for you. I guess some habits are harder to break than others,” you answer softly.

Harry laughs too and the room falls silent. “Thank you, though, for the apology. I understand that you’re just excited. I was too. All I wanted to do was introduce my family to the cast and show the sets when they flew out to watch me in Cats for the first time,” you tell him, rubbing your hands on the top of your thighs. You bite the inside of your cheek and Harry winces the moment the words leave your mouth. You shouldn’t have brought it up.

When you started your career on Broadway in Cats, it had only been two and a half months since the messy breakup with Harry. You had blocked his number, but you were too afraid to do anything else normal couples would when they broke up. You didn’t want his fans to figure out or piece together scenarios if you unfollowed him on social media or deleted the photos you had together off your profiles. As far as they knew, you were only mutual friends because of Glenne, Harry’s manager’s girlfriend. Jane took you out drinking for a week straight after the break up to try and cheer you up.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “I didn’t mean to mention it like that, only that I was just excited as you are now.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says quietly.

You cough and quickly change the subject. “You should definitely invite your family and friends to the after show after party. I’m not sure if anyone’s told you yet but we always have a massive party after the premier of a show. It’s always at The Plaza and it’s all for the publicity for the hotel and luxury sponsorships so the cast spends the night free of charge. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Aaron told me about it yesterday,” Harry confirms, nodding his head. “I already gave them invites.”

“Sweet.”

There’s a sharp knock on the door before it’s pushed open. One of the photographers, Trevor, steps inside. You smile warmly at him and hug him quickly.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt. Frank wants cast photos before everyone starts to get busy with vocal warm ups, hair, make up, and costume changes,” Trevor tells the two of you. He shakes Harry’s hand and introduces himself.

You nod your head and Trevor holds his camera up to his face. You pose, grinning at him as he takes a photo of you. He takes a quick glance at it.

“Absolutely stunning,” he says before leaving the room.

You leave the room first and Harry follows close behind. You make a quick stop to Aaron’s dressing room and link your arm with Jane’s as you walk to the stage. Walking through the curtain, you and Jane move to the front of the stage and take a seat on the floor.

The rest of the cast walks on stage as a group of photographers move to the front. Everyone squeezes together for a variety of photos. Harry and Aaron join you and Jane on the floor in the front. Frank points to the small space left between you and Harry.

“Get closer,” Frank directs the two of you. Harry glances over at you before inching closer. He carefully places his arm around your torso. It makes your heart stop.

The photographers take a number of photos before Frank dismisses the cast except for you, Harry, and Aaron. Harry’s careful to touch you as they take photos of the two of you. Trevor looks out from his camera lens.

“Aaron and Harry, kiss Y/n on the cheek!” he says.

“I dunno—”

“It’s fine, Harry,” you interrupt with a gentle smile.

Harry’s mouth touches your skin and you hold your breath as Trevor captures the photo with Aaron and Harry pressing their mouths to your face. They pull away and you scratch the back of your neck bashfully before returning to your room.

Kelly, your assigned hair and makeup artist, enters your dressing room a few minutes later. You hug her tightly and the gorgeous redhead laughs. She sets her kit on the table. Mandi, the costume coordinator enters the room and makes a beeline towards the hanger rack with the dresses.

Kelly helps you secure your hair in a wig cap before gently placing the wig of Christine’s gorgeous, long, curls on your head. She moves it in place and teases up the loose strands. She pins it to the cap and it looks as if the hair is your own. It’s your favorite part of becoming Christine.

Harry arrives a few minutes after Kelly starts working on your stage makeup. Zoe and Bridget work with him on hair, make up, and his costume at his table. Music plays softly in the background as the two of you get ready side by side. You sing along softly and ignore Harry’s gentle gaze.

He’s always been terrible at trying to hide the way he looks at you, even now.

Mandi helps you change into the first costume Christine wears for the first few scenes. Despite the fact that you’ve grown so used to the costumes, changing into them, especially with Harry close by makes you feel weird.

You continue your vocal warm ups and drink water as Kelly works on your makeup. You’re careful to relax your eyes and face as she works on your foundation and eyeshadow.

The dressing room door is pushed open and Trevor reappears with your manager trailing behind. He takes behind the scenes photos of you and Harry getting ready for curtain call.

“I have your dress for the after party,” Gretchen, your manager tells you, side eyeing Harry from her spot on the couch. “I’ll bring it inside when the show’s over.”

“Sweet, thanks, Gretchen,” you tell her.

“There’ll also be journalists and reporters at the after party red carpet, so you’re more than welcome to speak to them. Talk about the show, how you felt it went, whatever.”

You hum in response as Kelly lightly applies lip gloss to your mouth. You keep your eyes closed when you hear Jeff come inside and greet Harry. They talk quietly and Jeff tells him what kind of questions to expect at the red carpet. You’re guessing it has to do with you, knowing that the gossip columnists will more than likely ask about what it’s like working with Harry since they only knew that you’ve met in the past. They don’t have a clue that you and Harry used to date. They care more about linking Harry to any woman he knows rather than his music or other accomplishments.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Kelly compliments you.

You grin and wink at her. “It’s ‘cos I have you to make me look all pretty,” you say. It makes her laugh.

“When you and Harry are done getting ready, I wanted to take photos of the two of you in costume if that’s okay,” Trevor says, snapping photos of you and Harry at your respective makeup tables.

You nod your head and Harry does the same. You hop off the makeup chair and take a sip of water before leaving the dressing room to the stage. Trevor follows behind before you pose for photos in character until Harry’s done getting into costume. You start some vocal warm ups in the meantime as you wait for him to join you on the stage. Jane appears in costume and starts her vocal warm up with you. Trevor takes photos of the two of you together as you sing and dance with your best friend.

Harry appears on stage with Jeff and Gretchen behind him. You glance over at him and you swallow hard. You try not to think of how handsome he looks in costume. His hair is parted down the middle and the costume fits him perfectly. Your eyes meet his briefly as he approaches you. He leans forward and presses an unexpected kiss to your temple. You cough uncomfortably when you hear Trevor’s camera click, capturing the image.

“How cute,” he says, smiling at the two of you. You fake a smile and bite the inside of your cheek. “Harry, can you hold Y/n like you’re dancing with her and dip her close to the floor? I want to catch the intimate relationship Christine and Raoul have with each other.”

He nods and you turn to face each other. You carefully wrap your arms around his neck and his hands settle on your waist. You slowly dance with each other and your heart starts to race. Harry’s hands slide to your upper back as he dips you down towards the floor. You cling to him as you feel yourself start to fall. He laughs softly as your noses touch and a loose curl of his touches your face. It makes your heart stop. You hear the camera click before Harry gently pulls you up. You take a step away from him to put space between the two of you.

“Fantastic, thanks,” Trevor says, quickly looking at the photos he captured before running off the stage, leaving you, Jane, and Harry on stage.

“I’m going to go decompress before curtain call,” you say to no one in particular before hurrying off to one of the practice rooms. You shut the door behind you and let out a loud breath of air you were holding in.

You settle on the piano bench and rest your fingers gently on the keys. You press the keys softly as the music fills the room. You sing quietly and don’t hear the door open until you see Jeff out of the corner of your eye approaching you at the piano. You turn to face him.

“Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck before curtain call. Harry said you’d be in here,” he says.

Your hands drop from the piano and into your lap. You move to the end of the bench to make room for him. He sits down next to you.

“Thanks. Now why are you really here?” you ask with a soft laugh.

Jeff laughs too and shakes his head. “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

“You’re Harry’s manager, Jeff. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you’d come and talk to me without Harry if there’s something that concerns you about your client and their image.”

“I just want to warn you about possible gossip columnists. They’ll try to link you to Harry regardless of what either of you say. They’ll ask incredibly intrusive questions and—”

“Jeff, I know,” you interrupt him. “Only a select few know that Harry and I dated and they know better than to say anything to anyone. I know how to handle it. I’m not a crazy ex girlfriend.”

“I know.”

You stand up from the piano bench and rub out the wrinkles of your dress. “Then don’t worry about it. Harry’s image is still safe. Can you imagine the uproar if his fans found out how terrible of a boyfriend he was to me? They’d somehow make it my fault.”

You leave the practice room and return to your dressing room. You finally have the chance to relax without Harry looking over your shoulder and staring at you.

“They’re starting to let the audience in,” Jane comes to tell you with less than two hours to spare until the show starts.

You thank her quietly and lightly touch up on your makeup before walking around back to try and find Harry. You find him with the makeup artists that are putting on the beard for the opening scene. You laugh softly from behind and he turns to look at you.

“At least it makes you older,” you tease.

“Sexy, right?” Harry asks.

You nod your head. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” you pause and scratch at your hand. “I just wanted to wish you good luck.”

Harry stares at you, surprised that you’d go out of your way to wish him good luck on his first opening night in his first Broadway show. He smiles at you.

“Thank you, darling.”

You ignore the twist inside your stomach.

….

Adrenaline is racing through you as you hear the orchestra start. From behind stage, you watch the dancers and ensemble cast move on stage. You trail behind Jane and the rest of the dancers as you dance on stage.

Your muscle memory kicks in and you become Christine. You move across the stage as Christine. You sing as Christine.

As the show progresses and as you change in and out of costumes, you get closer and closer to All I Ask of You.

Off stage, you quickly change into another one of Christine’s gorgeous dresses. You run on stage and Harry’s not too far behind. You grab at his shoulders as the music starts and the two of you begin singing.

The two of you move together perfectly on stage and his touch lingers. It makes your heart race as you approach the lyric right before you’re supposed to kiss him.

“Say you love me,” you sing to him as Harry reaches to hold your face. Harry smiles gently and brushes a stray curl out of your face.

“You know I do,” Harry sings back to you. Your hands squeeze each other’s tightly and you take a careful breath inward as Harry leans in to kiss you.

The music roars in your ears as his mouth meets yours. You cling to him as Harry spins you around the stage with your mouths still together in a loving, passionate kiss between Christine and Raoul.

The audience cheers when the song finishes and you kiss Harry two more times before the curtains close for intermission. You quickly run off stage with the rest of the ensemble cast and change into a new dress before running to the bathroom. Kelly is hot on your heels and helps you with the overflowing fabric before you hurry back to your dressing room for her to touch up on the wig and your makeup.

Harry returns to the dressing room and Zoe and Bridget touch up his hair and stage makeup, quickly fastening the microphone in the right place. He takes a few gentle sips of water and watches you sit back against your chair as Kelly fixes the fallen curls on the wig before placing the crown on top of your head.

The five minute warning bell rings and both you and Harry hurry back to the stage. You shake out your nerves. There’s only 45 minutes left of the show. It’s okay. You can do this.

Harry reaches for your hand and you nearly pull away when you realize you have to hold his hand as you go on stage. He squeezes your hand tightly before leading you on stage.

Music rings throughout the theater. Harry holds you securely as you dance and go through the scene.

Time flies and before you know it, you kissed Harry for the last time on stage for the night before curtain call. The last song fades out and the audience begins to clap and cheer for the cast and crew.

Harry’s hand leaves yours as he goes for his curtain call. The audience screams and claps in admiration for him, of course. He’s Harry Styles for crying out loud!

Then it’s your turn to run out and bow in front of the audience. You take great pride in knowing that the audience was significantly louder for you than for Harry, and he’s the superstar.

Once the curtains close, you reach for Harry. You squeeze his hand and give him a hug. “You did amazing, Harry,” you compliment. “Congrats on finishing your first Broadway show.”

He grins at you. “Thank you. That means the world to me coming from you.”

You smile again and the two of you walk together towards your shared dressing room. Kelly and Mandi are talking with the women in charge of Harry’s makeup, hair, and costume when the two of you arrive. Kelly and Mandi both give you congratulatory hugs before you settle down in your chair.

Kelly quickly and carefully takes the wig off your head and sets it down. She works with the wig cap and unclasps the pins to your hair. She takes it off and you sigh in relief, leaning back in the chair as she combs through your hair.

You take off your stage makeup in record time. You feel like your pores can actually breathe now.

“Here’s your dress!” Gretchen exclaims, entering the room. You gently take it from her and gasp. It’s a gorgeous black dress with beautiful lace and embroidered flowers of a variety of colors.

Kelly helps you change into the dress and fixes your hair. Jane comes into the room wearing a yellow dress. She grins and steps to the side. You scream excitedly when your brothers step into the room.

You tackle the two of them into a hug. They laugh and Gretchen chastises you. “Don’t ruin the dress!”

“What’re you doing here? Mom said you were busy, especially with Molly!” you tell them as you stare at your brothers.

“And miss your premier? No way,” Garrett laughs as your sister in law comes into view with your three year old niece in her arms.

“Auntie!” Molly shouts, reaching for you. You immediately take her in your arms and shower her with tickles and kisses. “You look like and sing like a princess!”

“Thank you, baby,” you tell her. “I missed you so much. I’m so happy you’re here with your mommy and daddy.”

“Me too!”

Jeff walks in with Glenne and Harry’s suit in his arms. You scratch at your arm and Garrett glares at Jeff and Harry. Your little brother Nolan does the same and they cross their arms over their chest. You didn’t anticipate having to put yourself between your brothers and Harry.

“Garrett, Nolan, you remember Harry,” you introduce them to each other once more.

“How could we forget,” Nolan responds bitterly. You glare at him as Molly clings to your neck. “Nice job, though.”

Harry smiles uncomfortably and you hand Molly back over to your brother. You quickly say your goodbyes to your family before they leave the theater for the hotel. You gather your things together as Harry changes into a pink suit.

“Gretchen and I think that the two of you should arrive at the after party red carpet together,” Jeff tells you and Harry. “Y’know, since you’re playing love interests. It would create good publicity.”

Your eyebrows crease together in confusion as you stare at Jeff. “I thought you didn’t want the columnists to speculate? If they found out that we have history, they’ll have a field day. They’ll do anything to try and link us together as a couple.”

“That’s not the reason why I think you should go together. Just show them that you get along with each other off stage. Some are starting to speculate a strained off stage relationship between the two of you,” Jeff replies.

You scoff and roll your eyes at him. Of course they are. Jeff doesn’t want to make it seem like Harry is hard to work with or a diva. It’s all about protecting his image. “Fine.”

The two of you leave the dressing room together and walk out the back door where the limousine driver was waiting. Screams immediately reach your ears the moment you and Harry step out of the theater together. Cameras flash at the two of you and you’re immediately sent into a daze. You stumble back into Harry and he carefully guides you to the vehicle. His hand finds yours as he blocks the cameras from your view.

He opens the door for you and you climb inside. He quickly shuts the door and you carefully pull your hand out of his grasp and set it on your lap. The driver pulls out of the alley and takes you and Harry to The Plaza Hotel for the after party.

“Is it always like that when you leave places?” you ask after a few minutes of silence on the road. “Fans screaming at you and people taking photos of whoever you’re with?”

“Yeah, I suppose. I’m used to it though. ‘M sorry you had to go through that. It can be overwhelming if you’re not used to it,” he answers.

You hum and fall into another awkward silence. You arrive at the hotel ten minutes later and the driver opens the door. Harry gets out first and screaming fills your ears again. He reaches into the car and holds out his hand for you. You hesitantly take his hand and he squeezes it reassuringly.

He helps you out of the car and shuts the door behind you. His hand wraps around your torso and you momentarily forget that he’s your ex boyfriend. The feeling of his hand settling on your waist feels strangely comfortable, almost as if you’ve missed the feeling. You swallow hard and one of the event workers guides the two of you to the start of the red carpet. You walk on together and pose for the photographers until you’re pulled away for individual shots and interviews.

“You were absolutely fabulous tonight, Y/n!” a reporter compliments you. “How does it feel to work with someone like Harry? Is it any different than when you shared the stage with John?”

“Thank you!” you grin at her. “It was definitely intimidating at first, considering his level of fame and stardom, but he just wants to be treated like everyone else. I have to help him here and there since he’s new to Broadway, but he’s a fast learner.”

It goes like that for a while. Reporters compliment you and then immediately ask you what it’s like to work beside Harry. Now your own accomplishments are being overshadowed by his stardom. It bitterly reminds you of the break up.

When you make it inside the hotel and into the ballroom, you make a beeline for the bar and order a Jack and Coke. You find your seat beside Jane and you cheers before taking a generous sip of your drink. Harry doesn’t join you until dinner starts.

Everyone at the table makes small talk as you eat when Kendall takes the empty seat next to Harry. Great. Just what you needed. Kendall says her hello’s before she turns her attention back on to Harry. You nudge Jane under the table when you realize that she’s glaring at her.

You stand up and head to the bar to get more drinks. You just wanted the after party to go by as fast as possible. You don’t want to be near Harry, and you certainly don’t want to be near Kendall. You return to the table and Harry leans towards you.

“What?” you ask him.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Harry. Just leave it alone,” you mumble.

He looks like he wants to argue, but lets it go. He knows better than to start a fight with you when Jane won’t hesitate to cause a scene.

Music starts and Jane grabs your hand, pulling you to the dance floor. You drink, laugh, and dance together. You don’t notice Harry watching you.

After some time, you and Jane are both drunk on the dance floor. You can’t seem to control your giggles as you sing and dance. You stumble towards your table when Harry catches you before you fall.

“You okay?” he asks, helping you to your feet. He pushes hair out of your face.

You smile drunkenly and nod. “Perfect, H,” you answer, swaying on your feet as Harry struggles to keep you up straight.

He laughs. “You’ve had too much to drink, darling. Let’s get you to your room.”

You pout, whining at him. “No! I’m having fun. Leave me alone!”

Harry gently guides you to your dinner table and grabs your bag. He helps you out of the ballroom and into the hotel elevator. Your head rests on his shoulder.

“Why are you helping me?” you ask him softly. Your warm breath hits his skin and it makes him shiver.

Harry shrugs. “I dunno…. I think there’s always going to be a part of me that always wants to look out for you. I think that’s why.”

You hum and the elevator doors slide open. You step out, holding Harry’s hand as you walk to your room. He fishes through your bag for the room key.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

The door clicks open and he tugs you inside. “I think there’ll always be a part of me that always wants to be with you, despite how things ended between us,” you confess drunkenly, sitting on the bed.

Harry stares at you with wide eyes and your eyes linger on his lips. Your hand reaches for his tie and you tug him towards you.

Without a second thought, you kiss him.

#pls tell me what you think!!! i crave validation lmaosjhsgjajt #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfic #harry imagine #harry imagines #harry fanfic #my writing #all i ask of you

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mhafiction · 4 years

Text

Req from @annonymousbread:

Here is an actual request if you’re okay with it ☺️

Maybe a story where katsu’s crush from class 1-A gets kidnapped and they don’t find her for over a year. Which by then class 1-A has graduated and all become pro hero’s.

Then Katsuki finally finds her on one of his missions?

Note: This is really becoming a Bakugo fanfic blog huh? I’m not complaining, he’s a very fun boy. -K.

“Bakugo!”

He remembered it. Your sobbing, the fear in your voice, your cries of pain. He saw the rubble, the overcast sky, every little thing rendered with terrifying accuracy. He looked down at his hands. Why was he back here? An uneasy feeling reveled in the pit of his stomach. You cry out again, your shouts solitary and panicked. Lighting courses through his veins, and without an ounce of hesitation, he takes off running. He had to find you.

His lungs burn as he navigates the field, his heart pounding in his head, eyes darting back and forth with frenzied panic as he scans the ruins. Y/N, where are you? The rubble morphs into a terrifying maze, and he feels a cold sweat drip down his back. Bakugo hears you call out his name again and again, and fears the worst, turning around-

There you were, standing in front of him with that faraway look in your eyes. Your eyes... those goddamn eyes haunted him ever since. He reached out to you, tried to call you name-

But you slipped right through his fingers. His throat was tight; nothing came out. And you just stared at him, unblinking, lips ever so slightly parted.

“Why Katsuki? Why couldn’t you have saved me?”

Your voice is accusatory, bitter, and so unlike everything that he knew about you... yet it felt so real.

Bakugo feels a dryness in his mouth as he shouts to you, his voice cracking. It was if a dam burst, and he sobs, sinking to his knees. “I tried!” He curses, watching you turn your back to him, and as he reaches out his hand to catch your wrist, he jolts awake.

Katsuki pants, heaving up and down. Sweat rolls down his forehead. It had felt way too real. He sighs, checking the clock. 4 am. Great. Should he even be surprised? He rises, pulling open his curtains and preparing for the day ahead, your face still fresh in his mind

Bakugo hadn’t gotten a good night’s rest since your disappearance, almost two years ago. Hell, he wondered how anyone from 1-A did. They had been there, too- that fateful day of the school festival, everyone riled up to celebrate the fact that it was their last one before graduation. And of course, something had to go wrong.

Your quirk was invaluable and insanely powerful: controlling probability. If you stockpiled enough energy, you could exert it to tip the scales to someone’s advantage, which could range from boosting the probability of rolling a six on a die...or boosting the probability of someone winning a fight. It worked better when more specific and focused, however.

You had gained a lot of attention from having such an interesting quirk, but some of it turned out to be pretty...bad. Including a plucky group of villains who had been able to capture you during the school festival. The brawl had moved to the city, after Bakugo sent one of the dudes careening into the side of a building with a skillful explosion. Pros urged him to evacuate, but he didn’t listen. He couldn’t have, not when you had been among the ones to save him when he had been kidnapped.

But you weren’t as lucky.

They got away with you. Bakugo remembered the look on your face as you were whisked away into thin air. Gone without a trace, slipped through his fingers.

The search was an ordeal that was significantly harder than his own. The group that had kidnapped you was pretty underground. This, in fact, was their first major crime.

So that left police with no leads, no identification, and no evidence whatsoever. The case went cold. Not a day went by when Bakugo didn’t think of you. His graduation had been somber, Class 1-A collectively on edge together for the rest of the year. Y/N, the promising rising star, so obviously on track to becoming a powerful hero— snuffed out just like that. There was rage, there were tears, there was silence. But now, they had to move on. They were adults, pro-heroes who needed to focus on bigger things. He growled. Yeah, right.

It was no secret among his peers that he liked you. After that incident, many pitied him and the way he kept his head down and his jaw clenched. They didn’t speak up when he lost his temper, they didn’t point out that he was easier to piss off than usual, and they didn’t try to stop him when he’d curse a disproportionate amount at some inanimate object that had wasn’t working right. They knew his pain. Despite him never opening up to anyone, they knew. Bakugo immersed himself in his ambition; training and fighting being the only “healthy” outlet he had. By the time he left UA, he was already in the top ten and slowly forming an agency. He kept an old bulletin board dedicated to your case, spending months trying to track you. Everyone considered him crazy for refusing to let go. But that never stopped him.

His phone rings, and he groans, seeing the contact. Nevertheless, he answers, forcefully brushing the phone against his ear.

“Deku?!”

“Ah! Kacchan, I need to ask for your help on a case.”

Bakugo rubs his temples, annoyed just at the sound of his childhood friend’s voice.

“Heh? Like I would help you, nerd!”

Deku’s voice takes on a graver tone, somewhat faltering. “I think you’d want to after you hear this guy’s MO.”

“Yeah right.”

“No, listen. You remember-“ Deku pauses a moment, hesitating as he chokes back his words. His voice is strained over the phone, betraying some sort of feeling that leaves Bakugo on edge. “You remember Y/N?” Deku continues.

Bakugo bites his lip, brow furrowed with anguish. Internally, he thanks whatever higher power there is that his old friend can’t see his face.

“How could I forget?” He mumbles.

“Well,” Deku breathes, his tone still solemn. “This guy- eyewitness reports say he vanishes into thin air. Literally. He’s been spotted all over the prefecture, mostly dealing in theft, but the most recent case they’ve linked him to is the kidnapping of a Shiketsu boy. Promising kid. The cases also match up with your research, too. I know it’s a stretch-“

Bakugo looks at the old bulletin board placed above his bed, bitter recollection filling his head. “I’m in.”

“Eh? You are?”

“Yes, you shitty nerd! Just brief me on the course of attack. Bastard won’t know what hit him.” He prays that Deku won’t catch on to the trembling intensity of his words. He didn’t need anyone else’s pity, much less Deku’s. What he needed was to find you.

“...You know it might not be him, right? And even if it is, there’s no guarantee...?”

Bakugo tenses, and the line is silent for a moment. His palms are suddenly heavy, weary with exhaustion. He sighs, frustration in a single breath.

“Goddamn it, I know that. But I have to try, Deku.” His voice cracks, shaky but firm. “I owe it to her.”

Deku is quiet. The air is thick—almost suffocating. And finally, he responds.

“Then, drop by my agency this evening. There’s a lot to cover.”

———————————————————————

“Peh. So this is the place.”

Bakugo looks up at the building. It was modest, but classy. Respectable,especially with its prime location. Not that he’d let Deku know.

He’s escorted into a conference room, eyeing the place up and down. His face contorts into dramatic anger when he locks eyes with none other than Todoroki Shouto.

“WHAT’S ICY-HOT DOING HERE?!”

Bakugo grabs Midoriya by the collar, his eye twitching and his fist poised. Deku starts sputtering like a dying fish, waving his hands around.

“Kacchan- he was interested in the mission, too! And it’s not like we can’t use his help-“

“YES WE CAN! WE DON’T NEED HIM!”

“But he might be useful! He’s a top ranking hero too, you know-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE’LL BE USEFUL!”

Bakugo reels back his arm, ready to blast Deku’s ass into the stratosphere. Todoroki appears behind him, cool as ever.

“Bakugo,” Shouto begins, gently setting a hand on his shoulder. “She was my friend, too.”

Bakugo pauses, his violent persona sufficiently diffused. He loosens his grip on Midoriya, casting Todoroki a wayward glare. Shouto returns it with his own determined eyes. “Tch. Whatever. Let’s get on with this.”

They settle into seats, Midoriya wheeling in a large whiteboard with meticulous notes dotted all over it.

“First and foremost, I guess I should start with the fact that we’ll also be joined by Uravity, Red Riot, and Froppy,” Midoriya begins, adjusting a projector.

“Do we really need that many people?”

“In all likelihood, no. But there’s a tip that this guy is linked to some bigger crime ring.” A map charting several misdemeanors flicks onto the board. “So, with backup, we’re better safe than sorry.”

Bakugo slumps in his chair. “What is this, a high school reunion?” He jeers.

Midoriya gives him a wry smile. “I guess you can look at it like that. Thanks to your intel, Kacchan, we were able to track down his ID. I went through some records down at the station, and the guy we’re going after apparently has some sort of molecular rearrangement quirk.”

Todoroki cocks his head. “Sort of like that Yakuza guy? Back with Eri?”

“Sort of. But the point is, it allows him to disappear covertly. Really covertly. He just needs to break down his body and his target to their smallest forms and he can manipulate and transport them without a trace. Disappearing into thin air.”

“That sounds awfully familiar,” Todoroki notes, giving Bakugo a quick glance. Bakugo snorts in response, recalling your disappearance. Thin air, huh?

Midoriya nods. “I have a hunch that...it’s the same guy. But, since there’s no guarantee, let’s not get our hopes up. Let’s just focus on prioritizing the rescue.” He turns his board over, revealing an even more intricate chart on the back. “Let’s go over a plan.”

———————————————————————

The fateful day arrived. Police encircled the building- some dingy joint on the bad side of town that looked like any other dive bar. Bakugo would lead the calvary alongside Kirishima and Todoroki, while Asui and Deku rounded off any potential exits. Uraraka watched from above, surveying the entire scene with bated breath.

Bakugo kicks down the door, poised to attack, and meets the faces of at least twenty other folks. One shouts above the ramble and suddenly all hell breaks loose. People are throwing bottles, attacking at Bakugo and each other- and he catches a glimpse of someone fleeing down a flight of stairs behind the bar.

He pursues, carving through the dense crowd with ease. He flies down the stairwell, greeting darkness almost immediately. Bakugo’s explosions flicker in his hands, casting orange shadows over his face in the dim hall. It’s narrow, and there’s only one way to go. There’s only one thing to do. He takes off running, panting heavily, gritting his teeth. This bastard- the nerve he had. To steal the futures of some promising kids.

The hall opens to a cavernous room, and Bakugo edges along the wall, silently inching forward. He catches a glimpse of a long shadow limping back and forth, pacing with nervous energy. Bakugo grins to himself, prepared to strike, and as the silhouette passes the opening of the hallway, he tackles them, restraints in hand. “DIE!” He sends an explosion to their backside. The villain lets out a sturdy cry of pain and immediately yields. Not that it mattered, the restraints wouldn’t permit the use of his quirk whatsoever.

Bakugo looks the guy up and down, hate filling his chest. He growls, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, you know that?”

The man is silent, not even meeting Bakugo’s fiery eyes. Bakugo forces his head towards him, watching fear dance in his gaze. He sneers. “You’re just a coward,” he spits.

Kirishima’s footsteps patter through the hall, and the red-haired boy bursts into the room, stumbling upon the scene.

“Bakugo! That’s the guy!” Bakugo tosses the criminal to him, surveying the area. “Take care of it,” he mumbles in his raspy tone. “I’m looking for the victim.”

He approaches a nearby door- old and decrepit, like everything else in the place. With calculated force, he blasts it down, dread forming in the pit of his stomach. The room is dirty and neglected, like some kind of dungeon.

His eyes widen when he sees your face, hollow cheeks and empty eyes chained against the wall alongside a sobbing boy. Shock fills your sunken form, and you utter out his name, a wistful, raspy murmur.

“Katsuki...?”

Bakugo freezes, once again feeling a terrible weight in his chest. He wants to scream, he wants to go to you- but he’s rooted to the spot, disgusted at your treatment...and at himself. Police flood the little room, Midoriya shouting commands and comforting the boy, and everything’s in a haze. But throughout it all, he never tears his eyes from you, despite the clenching he feels in his heart.

You wake up in an unfamiliar hospital bed. The world seems different. Fresh, and new. A small smile forms on your face, and you giggle quietly to yourself, blinking in the gentle light. You examine the room. A clean, white place with a monitor beeping softly in the background. The hum of machines drone on, and to your right-

You gasp, surprised to see the sleeping face of none other than Bakugo Katsuki, slumped down in a chair. Your childhood crush, handsome as ever. Halos bounced off of the spikes of his hair where the light hit him, leaving him looking like some otherworldly beauty. You laugh to yourself, starting as a small chuckle at this moment- then dissolving into a deep, boisterous and emotional expression of mirth, one that caused tears to form at the corner of your eyes and made you choke over your own joy. It inadvertently woke your spiky-haired hero, who looked down at you, eyes wide and tired.

“Y/N.”

You lift your hand up to him, cupping his face. “Katsuki.”

His jaw clenches, and his eyes go glassy. As he speaks, you feel a sadness, deep and broken, in his heart, and his voice cracks.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry I couldn’t be faster. That I couldn’t save you-“ he chokes.

“I never lost hope in you.” Bakugo looks into your eyes, and your heart skips a beat with how vulnerable he looks. “I stockpiled energy with the hope that you’d rescue me,” you whisper, brushing away a tear from his face. “I trusted you’d be the one. Out of all of them at UA-“ you smile softly, recalling your high school years. “You were the one I thought of the most. And thinking of you...it gave me hope.” How far away it all seemed. Those days with your friends, training on the field, hoping to be a hero.

“I thought of you, too.” Bakugo grips your hand, as if afraid you’ll disappear again. You pull him into a hug, stroking his trembling form. It felt so good to be in his arms, almost dream like. “Katsuki, I have something to tell you, though,” you murmur. “I had quite the crush on you, back at UA,” you chuckle. He pulls back, still holding you. He brings a calloused hand to your face, drinking in your features. “I did, too,” he admits. You feel butterflies flutter in your stomach, and suddenly it’s as if you’re sixteen again.

“Do you think it’s still there?” You breathe.

He never takes his eyes from yours, and slowly moves in to press his forehead to yours.

“If you do.” You close the distance, placing a kiss on his lips. You drown in his familiar scent, sighing with contentment. Now, this felt like home. Bakugo moves back cautiously, his gentle demeanor and tone never shifting. He brushes a hair away from your face, ever so softly.

“God, you think we can make it work?” He mutters. “You deserve someone who could have saved you on the first try.”

Your brow creases watching Katsuki avert his gaze. You force him to turn his head to you, looking at you straight on. “We have the rest of our lives, Katsuki,” you tell him. “And don’t you dare think that you’ve failed me. You’re the one who tried the hardest. You’re the one who saved me.” Bakugo shrugs.

“I didn’t do it alone.”

You shake your head, beaming. “That’s not what I mean. Holding on to the idea that you’d come— that’s what saved me. I would have died, ages ago if I didn’t carry that hope with me. If I didn’t have that goal to save up my energy to help you find me.”

Bakugo softens beneath your touch, melting as you give him a couple of pecks. He grips your tiny hand in his, swearing that he’ll never let you go ever again.

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