#nothing at all against the authors tho I'm sure their stories are not bad; it's just not the content I'm looking for ._.

[campbyler]

THEA!!!

they r so boyfriends! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 it should be illegal to read acswy while being single CAUSE I WANT TO BITE SOMEBODY SO BAD. so im gonna bite u guys. as a revenge for my poor heart. sorry.

first of all will with tote bag!!! mike with long sleeves and shorts!!! yes!! their fits r literally so perfect. i just have to say it.

the fact that will didn’t even bring his car key with him. he doesn’t hate mustang as much as he pretends 😭 and he definitely changed his mind after mikes explanation. can’t wait till will break his stupid rule and they’ll make out senselessly in it.

i got mikes reasoning for buying that car (and ted is an asshole in every universe. sorry that it happened to u thea) but he could choose less pretentious one 🙄 sorry i have a with aversion towards expensive cars. their drivers always think that they better than traffic regulations. anyway.

manual transmission is a crime against humanity and im glad that i never have to use it again. it wasn’t that bad on the road and changing gears doesn’t take much time but traffic lights became my arch enemies cause i always managed to stall on them 😭 i hope ur lessons were better btw. i feel that will will shake like chihuahua😭 plus it like one extra leg on the clutch and i have no idea how to not forget about it if u only drive automatic.

their not-date date cause they definitely aren’t dating they’re barely friends who love kiss each other on the mouth and hold hands and spend time together and tell each other their deepest secrets.

the things i felt when mike dropped wills hand in the car. i Know it was was a reason. and he totally recovered himself by holding wills pinky the entire way to the mall. i know their pinkies Hurt cause where’s no other way.

when they’ll find out that smooches at the center of the cafe is not really platonic. isn’t really platonic with kissing if we’re judging be their standards. The Kiss in the changing room though…. they literally obsessed with each other i can believe guys used to pretend they enemies 😭

someone brought up dwoht on relation to the thrift store and i can’t stop thinking about it

“u (authors) said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

i (i) had a bad feeling”

i loveeee noticing how their humor changed. will doesn’t want to hurt mike anymore he wants to laugh with him instead 💔 and he thinks mikes password is cute and loserish (it is) but he charmed by it omgggg!!!

im so glad that i spent this year with u guys (im finishing my comment in 2024!!!! happy new year!!!) and im excited to follow the story next year too. days if the updates became my favorite and brought me so much joy!!

thea, suni and andi thank u so much for ur talent and passion!! ily!! happy new year 🎉🎄🥳🎊🤶❄️

ALYAAAA i am SO sorry that i am the worst and it takes me forever to answer things but just know i have been holding this ask so close to my chest for the past million weeks bc it is so special to meeee 💗💗💗💗💗

i will accept the biting bc i am also biting someone. it is hard to WRITE it while being single wtf. every time i write a kiss scene i'm like gd who wants to kiss me..............i am here and kissless...........

that and also i think he was so eepy he didn't even Think abt bringing his keys but also lbr he knew mike was going to insist on driving lol. mike fr could have chosen a less pretentious car But i think mustangs are universally cool cars for sure and i think it's very important to mike to have a cool car so even tho it's not necessarily something he would have picked out himself i do also think that he loves it. a little bit. (<- a lot bit)

i've ended up not actually learning how to drive a manual bc me and my sister have both been busy so all of my knowledge for the next chapter is going to be thru research and osmosis so pls call me out if anything is incorrect 😭

sometimes you have to kiss your friends on the mouth!!!!! and go on a not-date date w them!!!!!!!!!! that is so totally normal!!!!!!!!!!!!! their pinkies definitely hurt so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are obsessed w each other fr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dwoht is not on the ch9.2 playlist but it is for suuuuure very will-coded for this stretch of the story if you even care.

we are so glad WEEE spent this year w YOUUU alya ty for supporting us and always leaving the sweetest most thoughtful comments 💗 i hope tht ch9.2 is everything you've ever dreamed of!!!!

[bonjas]

betty la fea: la historia continua episodes 5&6

Well that was a whole lot of...nothing. With how fun episodes 3&4 were, I was so optimistic about the rest of the show, but damn, they stomped out that hope REAL quick. I don't even know where to start lol, I guess at the beginning...

The opening scenes were so jarring? Firstly, this show LOVES cutting scenes in between entire fucking conversations so we get an awkward 5 second betty scene, then it goes straight to the walking through the jail scene that felt like it was supposed to be a dream, but we never got a "waking up to reality" scene, he was just IN JAIL LMAO like?? We went from confession, straight to jail? There wasn't even an ongoing investigation going on into what was happening at ecomoda or anything like that, so he just went to the nearest jail and said "i did a bad thing! guilty!" and into the slammer? IF WE HAD KNOWN WHAT WAS GOING ON AND THERE WERE AUTHORITIES ACTIVELY INVESTIGATING, IT WOULD MAKE SENSE. but nah, these writers hate explaining ANYTHING lmao. literally, it went: armando and mario nervous about betty finding out, betty becoming prez, armando and mario trying to hide the evidence with guttierez, betty finding out from hugo, confronting armando, him still not saying what happened, failing to fix it, then JAIL? PLEASEeeeeee

i'm finding that this show doesn't know what to do with betty. like, at all. with a show being named betty la fea, it sure doesn't look like it. poor betty only gets to look sad, or look mad 24/7. or if she's briefly happy, she then immediately has to get sad and/or mad. we get so little precious betty time as it is, i wish they would give her more to do! seeing her confront mario was cool in the previous episodes, betty always had a spine and defended herself, what happened to that! she just stands there silent and lets everyone make false accusations against her then walks away?!

i'm seeing a lot of "hugo is the villain again!!" ummmm??? hugo is the one actually helping the entire staff by letting them know what's going on and demanding justice??? everyone would lose their pensions if it wasn't for him, and if it was the real world, uh YEAH lawsuit bitch!!! after all the abuse they all took from armando, to learn that on top of that he stole their retirement funds? ELECTRIC CHAIR.

mila...sigh. i already said idk what to think of her character, we literally don't know a thing about her, but drinking and driving? gurl. armando is her father after all and we all know how he was about that shit, but damn. dont like that at all. her saying that shit to marcela was so out of line since she herself cried to marce about her being the only one who cares about her or w/e and the minute marce shows some parenting traits and worries over her she flips out and said now i know why my dad left you?! yeeesh. and she's obviously a TERRIBLE judge of character, wtf was there ever to see in ignacio? ewwwwwwww. that whole story line just fucking sucks. i dont care about him, even if they told us ANYTHING of what the fuck is going on with him, i just dont care. he's so boring and one note, if he takes down all of ecomoda with his pinky, i couldn't care less. the hacking stuff is stupid. "hackeado" is funny though lol. oh ALSO about mila, i totally expected betty to run into her at the jail and she bails her out and they have more of a bonding moment but nope!!! fuck any potential bonding moments i guess, or even sharing the screen together. could have been such a good "i always help the people i love even when they're doing something wrong" moment!! like a foreshadow for mila for when she finds betty's diary and finds out the truth (cuz of course she is)! please i beg, a scrap of foreshadowing!!!

patricia is a stepmom!!!!!!!!!! that made me laugh. and they hate her, omg that's so fucking funny. her sleeping with nicolas again tho, i'm half "why?" and half "i get it" cuz he's the only guy that's ever showed real feelings and respect for her, but it just happened so quick and we didnt really see it develop, they just hit it off again after 20 yrs lol? but the whole "secret tapes" montage was pretty good, that was a highlight for me.

quick fire:

armando's lawyer is still fucking pointless, and still throws herself at him for no fucking reason lmao WHY????

the jail scenes suck, antiquated gay jokes and boring jail tropes. i fast forwarded those scenes, NEXT (if I'm wrong and they're worth watching pls let me know!! I saw Freddy was there and the therapy guy or something?? idk I was so checked out at that point) (edit: I rewatched the episode in its entirety, I was right the jail scenes are pointless! he just ends up leaving after like a fucking day!!!!)

so did nicolas stop working at ecomoda when betty left? did patricia barely get her position in the time betty left? marcela just works full time at ecomoda again, since before or after betty left?? hello??

the timeline still makes no sense, mila was gone 5 yrs, the armando marce kiss was 5 yrs ago, but armando was only president for 2 yrs? but betty left armando that night presumedly, so were they separated for that time until marcela waiting 3 yrs to demand betty be removed as president?????

nothing happened plot wise :( armando went to jail, everyone finds out and has a freak out, hacking and Mario was looking for some shit??? site character shenanigans, armando gets out. nothing happened!! two whole episodes wasted 😔 when you only have 10 episodes, everything needs to be important.

fernando gaitan was a fucking magician cuz i could tell you every single plot point of OG BLF without stuttering. the reboot is a mess yall i'm sorry 😞 i really hope it gets better, cuz now we have a confirmed second season?? bro why

why did Betty fall down the stairs like that?? what was the point? will it be relevant later?

also we just haven't had any good patsy pat and Marce moments :(

please let me eat my words and get better for the last 4 episodes!!!! i beg of you

[besidesitstoowarm]

"The Waters of Mars" thoughts

hey y'all it's been a minute. i'm going to knuckle through the last few eps of the davies era before i leave the country. anyway this one was good

this feels like the clearest throughline so far from s4. the doctor is experiencing the same emotions as many a greek protagonist– he has been touched by fate and destiny so profoundly, so inarguably, that he lashes out powerlessly. some of this is a reaction to being alone, deeply alone, having lost all the friends he has made since the time war ended, but some of it is about HOW he lost them. he was destined to meet donna, travel with her, he was actually a pawn in HER destiny, her journey. "journey's end" that was HER journey, he was HER companion in a sense. for someone so accustomed to having the upper hand, especially someone like ten, i can imagine how bad that shook him

cause like, this is ten, you know? i remember nine's last story, i remember "a coward, any day." i remember how he chose suicide, not because it would destroy the daleks but bc it meant he didn't have to live to see them kill everyone. coward, absolutely. the time lord victorious is the polar opposite. time lord victorious is glorious, violent arrogance. what was the change? what happened in the meantime? a lot, but primarily, rose tyler. rose-badwolf forced the regeneration, ten absorbed some of her into him, and time lord victorious is PURE rose tyler. her audacity, her confidence, her arrogance, all wrapped up with a fragile doctor who has lost all and has suddenly realized there are no rules, no rulemakers

the doctor has always been the "teenage rebel" but that implies youth, obedience, an authority figure to defy. it implies a kind of harmless messiness. but that authority figure is gone, before the war he was a father and a grandfather and now he is neither, he is an orphan, he is a widower, he is the very last of the time lords and he is completely lost as a rebel in a universe that suddenly has given him nothing to rebel against

i'm not going to recap the episode. go watch it if you don't remember it, it's really good. a few points: "name, rank, and intention" "the doctor, doctor, and... fun" that's a good one. adelaide was born in 1999 which makes sense for this being 2059 but hello??? adelaide brooke is gen z?? it's 2024 is she on tik tok rn?? girl. so the doctor notes that they have the first flower to bloom on mars in 10,000 years, not sure if that's referencing anything. we get several ice warriors mentions tho, respect

this whole episode has kind of a "the thing" vibe, i like it. viral life form in the glacier, can't tell who's infected. wish this episode had a fucked up dog. uniquely this episode has ten trying to leave, repeatedly. it was pretty common in classic who for the doctor to land somewhere randomly and then go "hm. i don't care much for this. goodbye" and be thwarted, cause he was messy back then. nowadays tho he's not like that, this is unique, this is notable. he finally admits it's a fixed point, a thing i think means nothing except whatever any particular episode writer wants it to mean. which is fine, this is doctor who after all. he takes it back at the end, decides he's above the law bc there are no lawmakers anymore, but forgets that other people have agency. adelaide killing herself got a gasp from my bf

a bit of the "bad wolf" theme plays during the time lord victorious speech which proves my point imo. this is rose, this is rose's influence. she did this, she made him this way, and i don't think that's even a bad thing! in so many ways she made him better. but she also took this fragile war-torn survivor of genocide and made him angry, hard, fanatically right about everything. we also got a bit of "vale decem" at the end around adelaide's suicide cause like yeah this is very distinctly leading to his death

i know this has been extremely rambly but i truly think this episode (which is mostly "the impossible planet" meets "the thing" until the last 15 minutes) is deeply rich thematically and ties into threads i've been picking up on since "the parting of the ways" like ten's era has SO MUCH going on in it!! it's a commentary on nine, on rose, on the time war, on destiny, on classic who, on new who's forward direction. and it'll lead so elegantly into eleven's era, who lives in extreme opposition to having once been ten (as is pointed out directly in "day of the doctor") i think we lose the plot a bit after that. but that's quite a ways away in my recapping. anyway this story is really good and this era is so rich

also this episode was in memory of barry letts. pour one out

[chuluoyi]

Hi Chu!!!!! OMG This AU looks so cute AHHH I regret not buying schips thenn 😭😭Backing Rosa against the sofa!?!?!??!? SIR ME NEXT-

OH and I got the Marius SSR too! The story is super cute you've got to read it soon! You're so right! If it were a 4 SSR event I would die...

Yeah!! Unholy blood is really a unique webtoon, and Father Michael 😭😭😭 I cried too it was so sad... I somehow always cry when I see the main character devastated...

The author's new work is called "Killer Peter"! I haven't heard of Apostle's creed tho...

HAHAHA Callisto's smirk 🤣 Is he your fave male lead?? I despise Derek with a burning passion... I started liking Reynold after a while, and my fave so far is Eclise 🥹🥹 Vinter is useless ngl like he's just there...

I already returned from Kuantan! It was so fun! The beaches were really beautiful, I wished Nanami could've seen it once 😭😭😭

You can do it Chu!! 💪🏻💪🏻 Jan is coming soonnnn!!!

Yeah! I'm studying in a "Polytechnic" instead of a Junior College. Polytechnics don't have uniforms, and we study things that relate more to our dream career! My extracurricular is actually SFX, but my instructor is a makeup artist so he teaches me beauty makeup too! Omg You're allowed to cut your skirt?? My secondary school would expell me if I did that... And what even- They mock girls with or without makeup??! What's their problem? It really isn't easy being a woman 😭😭 Somehow we're always wrong... So are we supposed to all be naturally pretty? [I think they would call naturally pretty girls slutty ngl] THEY'RE the problem, not girls bruh.

Omg I thought Yuri on Ice was like some anime that not many knew about 🫠🫠

YUH OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWSS!!! 🩵🩵🩵 Shin Hyesun is so talented! You should watch "Mr Queen" she's so funny in this kdrama 😆 I've watched Angel's last mission too! I love how she actually immerses herself in her roles like her acting is just perfect she's sooo natural

THE XMAS ONE 😭😭😭 That one is so brutal 😭😭😭😭 Your bf needs to be hollow purpled by Gojo-

I'll use the forum once my school starts in Jan!! For now I'll just chill 🫠

HUH 50?! THAT'S NUTS I thought 20 marks was bad 😭😭😭 How did you score in that 😭😭 Ooo was engineering interesting tho? Hahah! I'm doing banking and finance but I plan to switch courses to Accounting or something... I'm so done with crypto and stuff I'm not cut out for it...

Sorry babe I despise Econs with a burning passion 😭 I'm a math girlie ✨️✨️ I love Algebra HAHAH but I hate Trigo... Idk why we need to find X and Y... But if I'm somehow good at it, sure! Right? I can't remember anything from the nervous system... I remember being so done with it 💀💀 Omg the whole periodic table?!??!! That's crazy 😭 I was already happy with memorising the metallic table thingy...

YEAH- I think it's different tho! HAHHAHA Everyone would flock to Kuantan 😭😭😭 But Kuantan is pretty good on its own too!! There's always turtles there! If the timing is right, you'll even get to see the turtle eggs hatching and baby turtles too! The beaches are STUNNING

P.s Sorry I took so long to reply again 😭😭 I spent the past few days painting my house walls 🫠🫠🫠

-🪩

disco anonn!!🥹 sorry for taking my time to reply!

SIR ME NEXT is soooo relatable omg😭 aaargh i haven't got the time to read it comfortably yet but i will soon!! the illustration is legit sooo cute😭

ohh killer peter! okay, i'll add it to my reading list too next!! apostle's creed is quite good! but well, nothing measures up to unholy blood to me still...

AHAHAHHA honestly i hate him at first🫠 ugh but that's my cycle with cocky male lead. hate him -> get soft -> love him. it applies the same with callisto too argh i love his hair like i'm weak for men with that sort of hairstyle― but yes, i think he's still my pick and YOU'RE SO RIGHT FOR VINTER HAHAHAHA he's just there like 😭 sir, thank you but next

waaah i'm happy that you've returned safely!🥹 do you like beaches? i love it too but i can't swim so i can only wait from the sidelines :')

oh and nanami... have you seen the recent leaks?😭 gods, i'm sad all of a sudden while reading the latest chapter. i'm happy that he's mentioned after so long in the manga but...

ahh that's so interesting! like yes, the more focused it is, the better it'll help in your future endeavors🥹 well, "allowed" is not exactly... but i went and cut it because i just didn't like it🫠 it went past the knees and i felt like... a walking stick? i just hate the way it feels, so i make it shorter... to a bit above my knees🥹 my teacher once suspected i did cut it but then when i played the fool, she was just like "nah" and went on her way HAHAHAHAH

that's also what makes me so ??? like why are you little clowns like that you don't even know the first thing about beauty🫠 nah so true, the best we could do is to be on our ways, don't bother with them because they're not worth our time

I WATCHED IT!! omg that was one of the best kdrama all time to me like i can't stop laughing for each and every episode😭 shin hyesun is soooo funny and the king (kim... jung hyun? omg i forgot)'s face is also naturally funny as heck too even when he's staying quiet. they're the best crack pair ever i swear!🥹 but i just watched see you in my 19th life but sadly i think it's quite average... but i think it's because of the script and ahn bohyun's stiffness though...

i so agree i will hollow purple him― oh wait, have you seen the new gojo hollow purple figure!? it's sooo majestic i swear!

good luck!! holidays is coming soon let us rest before we tackle more new year shit :'))))

i... think i scored only about 30 out of 50 marks? i was sooo bad at economics and i think it's the power of my prayers that i was able to pass at all🫠 engineering is... interesting yes, but it's also making you scratch your head in confusion. like i met math and physics again there and it's more of technical things like machine and such (which i have 0 interest in) so most of the time i would sit in class and try not get caught being sleepy―

accounting is pretty useful in the working world!🥹 i think it's great should you decide to pursue that because anywhere we need accountants~ ah, tbh i'm afraid of trying crypto because well, for one, my luck isn't that great so...

SERIOUSLY how did you like algebra that was my natural enemy😭 but yeah if you're good at it, of course you'd like it!🥹 i was a total dummy so i hate it ahaahahah ooh i actually started out not hating biology but ever since my teacher got me to try this national competition, i realized how much i'm not cut out for that and even in the end i WO-ed🫠 periodic table isn't that hard when you compare it to biology though AHAHAHAH

omg really?! that's sooo cute! i definitely want to visit there now that you said it like that!🥹 baby turtles always get my heart soft like awww they're so smol and yet walking...

that's okay! oh and that's so fun that you're painting your walls by yourself?? like you can customize it and such too??

[lieutenantselnia]

~~~

[itsclydebitches]

I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

[impossiblelibrary]

Today's rant brought to you by: Queer Eye Japan, can we all just try to be as kind as they try to be?

After watching the Queer Eye Japan super short season, I wanted to google to see the overall reaction to the show, make sure that my western eyes were correct in seeing the care that was given to the culture. Were cultural taboos, other than being outwardly gay, crossed? So I find this article in the top results and other than the perspective, why tho? Tokyoesque.com had an article with a higher reading level, with surface level appreciation but at least better written.

I can't get over this hate article though. Unfounded, dumb, wrong and incorrect. Do not go forward unless you like that blistering kind of anger from me.

But the reasons just get weaker as the article extends: "Hurts the country it set out to save?" Looking for white savior much? They did not go to save Japan, they gave some free shit to like 4-5 people, think smaller.

Their culture guide wasn't gay enough.

You want to suggest any lgbt insta models or celebrities, use your platform to raises some up?

"There is a growing sexless culture in Japan for married and unmarried people, and it is perilous watching Queer Eye present this without any context behind what is driving this behavior."

Sexiness is what the fab 5 embrace, unfortunately and it was probably discussed behind the scenes of how much talking about sex was allowed or polite and the conversation of not having sex is closer to the tip of the tongue rather than the feeling of sexiness. The West is not the ones blasting that information. It is across multiple Japanese printed newspapers and online stories by now and the "context" is still being discussed and debated amongst Japanese. So I don't think any outsiders should be weighing in or "explaining" this phenomenon. We can repeat what we have been told but guessing at the reasons is not our place. The reasons illustrated by the author of the article seem lacking, a take but not the only one, but who am I to speak on that being in a sexual relationship with someone who pulls from that culture?

Kiko begins to lecture Yoko-san on how she “threw away her womanhood” (referring to a Japanese idiom, onna wo suteru) by going makeup-free and wearing drab, shapeless clothes.

The mistranslation by the subtitles fixed by this author was necessary information. But Kiko didn't lecture her on it, it was brought up by Yoko before any of them arrived, that was her theme, that was what she had decided to focus on. Meanwhile, if you watched Jonathan, he understood there was no time to spend on makeup and skincare so provided her a one instrument, 3 points of color on the skin to feel prettier. That and the entire episode being the 5 treating her like a woman on a date, not trying to hook her up, which is what they did in American eps.

"In teaching a Japanese woman, who already struggles to find time for herself, how to make an English recipe, Antoni is making great TV and nothing more."

So Antoni shouldn't have taught her apple pie because it's too exotic for a Japanese woman. (Can you smell the sexism?)

He didn't make an apple pie, altho Yoko did mention her mother made that for her when she was a kid. He made an apple tartine after going to a Japanese bakery who makes that all the time. Then highlighted the apples came from Fuji in true Japanese media fashion. Honey, American television doesn't usually highlight where the ingredients come from. A Japanese producer told him to do that. So all worries handled within the same ep. She got Japanese ingredients, had the recipe shown to her and then made it for her friends in her own house. Did the author actually watch this show or nah?

"beaten over the head with his western self-help logic. “You have to live for yourself,” he says."

The style of build up the 5 went for was confrontational but in a "I'm fighting for you" way. It's hard to describe, but the best I can say is, a person has multiple voices in their head, from parents, siblings, society, and maybe themselves. By being loud and obnoxious, American staples right there, they are adding one more voice. You deserve this, you are amazing, you are worth it. I know this is against most Japanese cultural modesty, but maybe it shouldn't be.

Sarcasm lies ahead:

Apparently: mispronunciation is microaggressions, not just someone who had a sucky school system. Yea okay, They're laughing at the language not at how stumbling these monolinguals are with visiting another country. Mmhm. Japanese don't say I love you and don't touch and that should stay that way instead of maybe, once in awhile, feeling like they can hug. Yeah, let's just ignore Yoko's break down that she had never hugged her lifelong friend after hugging strangers multiple times. Maid cafes are never sexualized in Japan ever, just don't go down that one street in Akihabara where the men are led off by the hand sheepishly blushing. Gag me. And Japanese men love to cry in front of their wives and would never break down once the wife leaves. I have never seen a Japanese movie showcase that move. Grr.

"I identify as many cultures."

So you're a Japanese man when it's convenient for you to get an article published? Are you nationally Japanese or just ethnically or culturally?

Homeland is an inherently racist word?

"After the Bush administration created the Department of Homeland Security after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a Republican consultant and speechwriter Peggy Noonan urged, “the name Homeland Security grates on a lot of people, understandably. Homeland isn’t really an American word, it’s not something we used to say or say now.”

Yes, let's use a Washington Post article rather than a etymology professor. Yes, the google search results increased after 2001 Homeland Security was used but the word has been around since the 1660s and I've read multiple turn of the century lit on white people returning to their homeland, i.e. the town off the coast they were born in.

"But" is not disagreeing. I think the repeated offender for the author is the not acknowledging the makeover-ees feelings. But, that is how LGBT have decided to deal with the inner voices that invade from society. They are just that, not our own, they are the influence of society, and we can choose, we have to choose, to be influenced by someone, anyone else.

Karamo can't speak about being black when an Asian is speaking about being Asian, even though the Asian gay man was feeling alone. It's called relating bitches, and I'm done with people saying that is redirecting the conversation, it's extending the conversation. That's how we talk, the spotlight is shared, especially when someone's about to cry and doesn't want to be seen as crying, time to turn the spotlight.

The gay monk wasn't good enough, you should have invited the gay politician.

Yeah, causes I'm sure a politician has all the time in the world for a quick stint and cry. They picked a Japanese monk who travels to NY because they had a guest who travels to the West too. Did you want him to stop traveling back and forth? Did you want a pure, ethnic and cultural Japanese gay man who has no ties to the west to talk to this Western educated young man? Seriously?

This is just not how it works in Japan.

Being in a multi-cultural marriage between two rebels, discussions on facets of culture are plenty in my household. Culture should be respected enough to be considered but not held on a pedestal like we should never adjust or throw some things out. LGBT being quiet and private for instance. "Being seen" was Jonathan's advice, and a good one especially for a Japanese gay man that was called feminine since he was a kid. Some gay men can hide, but as Jonathan said, he couldn't hide what he was, he couldn't hide this. So fuck it. Don't hide. It's actually more dangerous for a feminine man to come off as anxious rather than gay and proud. It makes you more of a target if they think you won't fight back. Proud means, Imma throw hands too, bitch.

This is also from the civil rights playbook going back to Black America: never hold a protest or a fight without the cameras, without being seen. LGBT have found the more seen they are, in media, in the streets, the better off we are. When LGBT Americans were being "private" about our lifestyles, we died, a la 1980s. They won't care if you start dying off if they never saw you to begin with.

And hence why I think the author's real anger is from these 5 being seen dancing flamboyantly in Shibuya, in Harajuku, afforded the privilege of doing this safely because of their tourist status, cameras and very low violence rate in Tokyo, loud and obnoxiously. Honestly, they wouldn't have been invited or nominated if they didn't want that brash American-ness coming into their home, just for a taste, at least.

Here's my real anger, my own jealousy: Japan's queer community currently does not have marriage or adoption rights. US does, so we have progressed further. But we are also not that many years from being tied to cow fences with barbed wire, beaten with baseball bats and left for dead overnight. If things are so bad over there, maybe take a few pages from the civil right playbook we took so much time to perfect and produced by the Black Americans who fought first. But so far, I only hear loss of jobs and marriages, which we still have here too. Stop trying to divide us, we are one community, LGBT around the world and we are here to try to help. Take it or leave it, it's not like we're going to go organize your own Pride parade for you.

Rant over? I guess. Is this important enough to be put in the google results along with his. Hell no, anyone with half a mind can see he's reaching more than half the time. And any argument about: this wasn't covered! There are a shit ton of conversations that are not covered in the 45 min they have. They are not a civil rights show, it's a makeover show, doing their best in that direction anyway. Know what it is.

Next blog post, what research I would guess was happening behind the scenes for each of the 5? I'm pretty sure I saw Jonathan doing Japanese style makeup there...

[suknas]

First Line Tag Game II

Tagged by @ruluxe (who dared to say that I have fanfics that I'm "holdin out on us" -- it is true tho lol)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening lines then tag 10 of your favorite authors.

Tagging: Everyone who wants to do this! (I'm not sure which authors are still active here ;-;)

Now we all know how inconsistent I am. But I do like starting with what's going on with the characters/where they are... Don't I? Well I decided to start with the most recent published ones, descending to the first ones published (skipping some), and finally some of my WIP/"One day I will finish" fanfics.

Quick fun fact: I didn't remember writing most of those fanfics lol

So here we go!!!! (it's gonna be a bumpy ride)

1. Into the Storm [GrimmIchi]: The lightning and thundering's brightness and strong noises were slicing the dark-blue sky of a lonely and sleepless night. A storm was coming. The heavy rain and gusts of wind were not the only thing rapidly creeping through the night. Kurosaki Ichigo could sense something else approaching along with the dark clouds and the pouring rain that now was hitting his window. [2021 (but the draft was from 2017 maybe), Bleach]

2. Ascension [AoKaga]: Light appeared in the darkness and soon darkness became insignificant before the beauty and immensity of the bright light surrounding a tall and masculine figure. He walked calmly through the uncertain route that many others once also stepped into it. He had a goal. The time to seek the one whom he had once shared many memories with, good and bad. The one person whom he had loved immensely but had never gotten to experience that feeling truly and at its fullest. The time had finally come. [2021 (again the draft was probably from 2016), Kuroko no Basket]

3. The One Where Prompto Does Not Want To Be In The Middle [Gladios x Prompto x Noctis x Ignis]: Sleeping in the camping tent was always a challenge in Prompto’s opinion. It is not as if he does not like camping, it was pretty nice being able to sit under the stars and gaze them, it was relaxing. Sometimes Noctis would sit behind him, embracing him in a warm hug. They would spend a long time chatting and exchanging affectionate touches until both of them felt like sleeping. Other times Gladio would join him, and the shield would let the blond lay his head on his lap. More often than not Prompto ended up sleeping while feeling his hair being played by dexterous and caring fingers. And whenever Ignis had time to spare, he would also join him after cleaning the mess they did during dinner. [2020 (again the draft was maybe from 2017), Final Fantasy XV]

4. The Owl Who Got Caught [KuroTsuki + Bokuto]: The third day of the training camp was finally over. Soon, everybody was running to the school cafeteria to grab something to eat. In the meantime, while nobody was looking, Kuroo took the opportunity to take Tsukishima’s hand, guiding him to the room that the Nekoma team was sharing; closing the door right after they entered. Nekoma and Karasuno’s middle blockers became closer ever since their first practice game, now they were spending more time together, and their relationship had an unexpected development. [2020 (draft probably from 2017), Haikyuu]

5. A Boyfriend Text [KuroTsuki]: Laying in his bed with a smile on the lips Kuroo was texting his sweet strawberry shortcake boyfriend. Eyes rapt, staring at the bright screen in the dark room; he was feeling anxious if his stupid smile and trembling fingers were any indicator.

TETSUROU: Wanna come over this weekend?

It had been some weeks since they had the opportunity to meet; school and volleyball practice were mostly the reason for their inevitable long separation. Week after week something "magically" came up in their agendas, but Kuroo was hopeful, however, that maybe this time their schedules would finally allow them to meet. [2020, Haikyuu]

6. Domestic Bliss [KiriBaku]: Sitting comfortably on the couch, Kirishima and Bakugou were finally spending some time together after a rough week. It was one of those rare days where both could enjoy a peaceful and uneventful afternoon. To say that both men were lazily on the couch doing absolutely nothing productive was not very accurate. Bakugou was doing something with his spear time, he was reading a book. By his focused attention on the pages, anyone could tell that he was enjoying his reading and only someone stupid would dare to bother him. [2017, Boku no Hero Academia]

7. Getting Together [KiriBaku]: “Let’s grab something to eat!” The blonde shouted after stretching his arms above his head. Bakugou’s red eyes fixed on the figure of Kirishima, who was sitting comfortably in bed with his back against the headboard.The redhead’s own red eyes snapped at the figure on the chair, eyeing him from head to toe; he spaced out in no second. Kirishima wanted to touch those damn nice muscled arms, which were slowly lowered down while his hands were placed on his toned thighs. Kirishima couldn’t help himself and started to imagine Bakugou’s whole body underneath him wrapping his body with those strong legs and arms. [2017, Boku no Hero Academia]

8. AoKaga short stories collection [AoKaga]: The atmosphere of the place was hot and heavy. However, because of that, the two teens lying down on the bed were more connected than ever. Their bare bodies were united white skin with dark skin. Their breaths were out of rhythm and their hands slid skillfully on each other’s bodies. The movements were synchronized and intense. The pleasurable moans and whispers echoed in the dark room, making the place even more delightful for both of them. [2017 - Short Story #4, Kuroko no Basket]

9. It's Picture Time! [Pomptis]: In the Regalia, Prompto and Ignis were heading to the nearest outpost from their camping spot to get some supplies for the night. The sun on the horizon was almost hiding behind the tree path by Prompto’s right side, the scenery formed by dim light and shadowy dark spots caught Prompto’s eyes.“Wow! Look at the light, it’s amazing!” the blond shouted, “Can’t we stop just for a bit?” Prompto was thrilled by the idea of adding more photos to his portfolio. [2017, Final Fantasy XV]

10. That Side of You [MiSawa]: Miyuki was laying in the bed on his back, eyes glassy, hands shaking and skin hot. The body above his was driving him to a place where it was absolute bliss and pleasure. Hips moved together, swinging with movements that were making Miyuki moans the pitcher’s name in a short and breathless tone.“Sa-wamura– Aah! Do that again,” his voice low and hoarse made the order sound weak, and his usual snarky tone was lost a long time ago in some part of his foggy mind. [2016, Diamond no Ace]

11. Runaround [Sterek]: Everything was set neatly on the kitchen table. Stiles was going to be there soon, so Derek had already prepared every single book and even snacks that they may need for their studying.It wasn't new that both of them were hanging out for studying matters. Actually, Derek had come up with the idea first, mainly because he was having some issues involving fast heartbeats and some inconvenient hard-ons whenever Stiles was around. He had a ridiculous crush on his friend. However, the smart geek boy didn't have to know about that. [2016, Teen Wolf]

12. Eavesdropping [MiSawa]: Sawamura’s suspicions must be right for his sake. Otherwise, Miyuki would make sure his so careless kouhai would pay a high price for being so noisy about Kuramochi and Ryou-senpai making out when no one was seeing. The closed and almost claustrophobic locker didn’t have enough space to move around, but he and Sawamura managed to fit in somehow. So what? They were eavesdropping, and he still couldn’t say that he was regretting this. [2016, Diamond no Ace]

13. Sterek Short Stories Collection [Sterek]: Stiles had broken up with his last boyfriend a couple of months ago. Or it was what he usually says to Scott when his best friend asks him why he isn’t over his past relationship. Because according to Scott, it’s been a year and a half since Stiles had parted ways with, at the time, his other half. And right now it was one of those times.“You should move on. I haven't seen you with no one since then. What about Danny? Last night I saw him flirting with you, and when I looked again you were nowhere to be found, but Danny was still there drinking alone. And let not forget your grumpy humor because your sex life sucks. It's getting old bro.” [2015 - Short Story #3, Teen Wolf]

14. Urge [AoKaga]: The small public bathroom stall in that bar hadn't been made for sure to accommodate two giants, dumbasses, and impulsive basketball players. Nevertheless, this fact wasn’t that important for the Too player neither to the Seirin player. Kagami was already pressing his body against Aomine’s, who was stuck between the wall and Kagami while his mouth was being devoured by the other’s tongue. Both were fighting into that kiss as if there was no tomorrow. Their hands were traveling quickly by each other’s body, and quickly they were undoing their pants’ zippers and buttons. Their shirts were all messy, as well as their hair. Their breaths were heavy, and the kisses now were directed to their necks, sucking and biting the skin exposed. Soft moans could be heard, but not loud enough to echo in the bathroom. [2013, Kuroko no Basket]

15. After Dancing Lessons [AoKaga]: The music was set up, and his hips started to move, his steps were guiding him to where a dark skinned guy was sat on a chair. The dancer's eyes were fixed in front of him. The watcher's eyes sparkled with excitement when the other sat on his lap, one leg on each side of his body, and kissed his cheeks along to his lips and chin, returning the same way till his ear, biting there slightly. The dancer felt the other hands trying to take his clothes off and immediately stood up, preventing to have those hands on his body so easily. [2013, Kuroko no Basket]

16. Sleep Well [ZoSan]: The night was agitated on board of the Sunny and lots of dirty dishes were pilled up on a corner of the sink. Sanji didn't have this time someone to help him to clean everything up. 'Those lazy bastards!' He frowned, 'all right! Let’s put all these things in their right place!' And with that thought, Sanji started the tiring process of doing all the dishes. On the bright side, if he was the one doing it everything would be spot on in no time. [2013, One Piece]

17. Possessive Lover [KidLaw / LawLu]: The bell indicating the change of periods rang and the students gradually began to leave one room to proceed to another. In the middle of changing classrooms, some students went to a quick trip to the bathroom, which was where that a spiky redhead boy was heading to. He had a dangerous gaze gleaming in his golden eyes; he had quite a threatening presence, and his looks did not lie about his fiery and explosive personality. Any sane person would prefer to avoid crossing paths with him or to even look the boy in the eyes. [2012, One Piece]

18. English Lesson [WIP, AoKaga]: The room was a mess. There were a lot of magazines, books, sheets, some snacks, three soda bottles, two hoodies and two pairs of sneakers all thrown on the floor. Sitting side by side, in front of the center table with notebooks and pens in hands were Kagami and Aomine. They had that idea of starting to study at each other’s places every Thursday night after their club activities. It was not like they liked to take a book, read it and think about the subject, the matter here was way bigger than just casual study. Their grades were in the red mark, which meant that they needed to rise them at least not to get scolded and taken off the basketball team. This time around Kagami was helping Aomine with his English study. The redhead was doing his best to try to explain, but he wasn’t that good at teaching those so detailed grammatical things… [unknown year - present, Kuroko no Basket]

19. High heels [WIP, KuroTsuki]: Tsukishima walked all proud on a black suit, white button-up shirt, grey tie and black stilettos in the room. Kuroo was watching his slow movements with a fierce look from the bed, where he was sat with his hands tied to the headboard by a soft cloth. Tsukishima stopped at the bed foot, looking straight at Kuroo. Ever so slowly, Tsukishima’s hands loosened the tie around his neck, the button-up shirt was having his buttons calmly undone, soon the shirt was wide open reviling Tsukishima's snow-white skin for Kuroo’s delight. [unknown year - present, Haikyuu]

20. Christmas thing / The untitled fanfic [WIP, AoKaga]: It was Christmas the snow was falling outside, many sparkle lights, so many decorations everywhere, people receiving and giving presents, eating together and singing songs. A day to celebrate and stay with family and friends. A day full of joy and happiness.At Kagami's house every single tradition was made. Kagami invited the Seirin basketball team to celebrate, but it ended up with some unexpected guests, the self-invited guests were some of Touou basketball team. And of course, Aomine Daiki was there. The redhead didn't even want to know how Aomine had found out about his little party. He'd bet that Kuroko had told something to Momoi and she kindly invited Aomine and the rest of the troupe. [unknown year - present, Kuroko no Basket]

[whatitis-inside]

If they are telling the truth, why are they hesitant to verify their claims? And why are the ones who didn't post dms are the ones giving interviews in gossip magazines? Also, why the sun and daily mail? Why not a reputable source? Why a magazine that is currently being sued for defamation?

Why are their claims getting wilder and wilder every day? Why post little by little instead of showing everything related to it and provide context with a coherent narrative?

As soon as they can prove that they are telling the truth I'm 100% behind them. Until then, well, it's easy af to fake any kind of message. People who do role plays as characters for fun or fanfiction do it all the time.

See that’s why this is all hard to understand (and the timing always the timing). Because I can understand the idea of exposing celebrities on social media so the general audience would know - but if something happened, in terms of abuse, then you speak to authorities, especially when you claim to have all the proofs - why you act as a judge to your own case?! That’s not how it works. Especially that if this involved just the two of them it’s hard to said for certain because it’s her word against his. That’s why I’m not acting as a judge here - because all the situation is messy. Not to mention all these dms, texts and so on - somehow lack the context. She doesn’t give post what she said, or what it was about - and that paints a certain narrative, everything can be bad and seen as gruesome if you don’t have a context (I mean like having a joke test with your mate on your phone for starters).

It’s all seems so vindictive - and while I can get past it, because I’m sure you want to destroy the man that abused you, I can’t really go with how smug it all reads - it all looks as using your own trauma to gain spotlight. Not to mention that the videos doesn’t expose anything she first (or well second part) talked about - the eating her, blood and so on. So it all looks like she tried to prove her point with him having affair with her, but when it didn’t surprise many and she found out about others, I guess her pride was wounded and the second set of narrative appeared - more shocking that caught attention but also the most ludicrous. Somehow unreal. So when ppl started to joke about him being cannibal, the story took a turn because that’s not what she mean. So she had to dig further, spread the words about drugs, being broken and unstable - funny enough it all came from the same girl he was allegedly dating for some hot weeks (though even the said girl has a bad memory and doesn’t know when exactly they were dating) - the girl that our first lady stalked under her posts back in October. So do tell me why hasn’t she came forward with her story back then - and just now ?! New year new me or something ?! So see only the yesterday leak gives her some sort of credibility. She said she wanted justice and people to know so women would be aware and yet she ain’t stopping - and somehow she is now going about him and charmies. Funnily enough she has never mentioned it before, at least not until recently - because somehow ppl were defending him and not believing her story. And funnily enough she was also a Tim Stan before and cmbyn as well coz she was in crema (hello internet nothing can be lost).

So yeah, the main fact that they didn’t seek the help of authorities and never presented a whole coherent story, with all the proofs all at once makes it more fishy and suspicious. If you have nothing to hide why not being open about everything that has happened - weirdly she was with this relationship for 4 years and never did anything. It’s a mess. But I guess she forgets about one thing - that soon new drama will appear and she will fade away and no one will care about her like for last year’s snow. And meanwhile he - I hope so - will get help and maybe be clear about this whole situation. Time passes and she won’t be having a spotlight for long time. Tho I’m sure she will do everything to stay under the scrutiny - maybe she will even be a ig celebrity known from this.

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[g0dtier]

THANK U!! To start: I'm 19yrs old. Ok well I started work a month ago and there was an older coworker there I found attractive. Not looks, just personality. Like damn he's amazing and kind and just a Good Person. Then a few days ago he asked for my Snapchat and I was like sure why not. Hes married with kids so I didn't think anything of it. His wife is Stunning too like hot damn. But then he like ?Seemed to be flirting ya know. Flirting. At me. Like. Why. How. WHY. so I was slightly concerned(1)

2) now he's just amazing really and I can see why his wife fell for him cuz that personality is The Best. And I'm pretty open and I always connect better with adults. Always. Even when I was a kid, all my friends were middle aged adults. Idk why. Prob cuz due to life I stopped being childish years ago. But anyway, after work, I was heading to the beach. He saw on my story and asked if he could come visit before he went to work again. Why not? It's public and I trust him and myself3) Btw did I mention he's fucking 40?? Yea. Anyway while at the beach he opened up about how he likes me and he doesn't know why but it's how he feels and he leaned in and kissed me and idk what to do. The kiss was so good and I kissed back. But at the same time WTF is happening. I could kiss him forever BUT he's married. And older. Even tho I like that. He said what happens next is up to me and he'll stop 100% no questions asked if I tell him nook. hm. first of all, i want you to know that i understand (and sort of have been in) your situation completely. but also, holy shit get the fuck out of there. now.

there is nothing wrong with your feelings. honestly ive had my fair share of crushes on older people, so lmfao i know what you mean. there is legit nothing wrong about your behavior in this situation, because you like him and this stuff happens, but imma just list a couple of things on why this dude is Not the person you feel he is and why his behavior is really, really scary. It’s not gonna be fun but please, im gonna go ahead and feel like you came to me because you (hopefully) value my honest opinion, so please hear me out.

You have known him for a month. He is 40 years old. This is legal, but ask yourself, even if he’s super funny/charming/caring/seems responsible, what kind of person would cheat on his wife and kids with a 19 year old colleague that he’s known for a month? Like I said, the fault here isn’t with you, but any person who legitimately acts this way is not as charming as he seems. Especially with him having multiple kids (im gonna guess at least one is around 10, 11 years old? youre less than twice that age). Parents should be responsible and know how creepy it is to cheat on your spouse with someone who’s literally barely legal.

He is your colleague. You have worked there for a month, I’m gonna go and guess he’s worked there for several years. He has authority over you, and not just in the “he’s been here longer”, as in “if you let him put you in a vulnerable situation he could literally ruin your fucking resume. If he’s good friends with the bossman, as soon as he feels in danger/you do something he doesn’t like, he could probably get you fired AND have the bossman write down a bad review for future companies who might do background checks. He could blackmail the fuck out of you if needed. Relationship with a colleague? Bad idea. Relationship with a significantly older colleague who has this kinda authority over you? No.

Again, I know you feel like his personality is the best and he probably wouldn’t do that, but he knows DAMN WELL he shouldn’t be trying to bed you. Nobody puts their wife, kids, job AND public rep as “not a fucking creep” on the line within a month without being damn confident that they won’t get caught. Hence the blackmail part above.

The whole “You can stop this at any time if we do this” is a ruse. You can’t. He has power over you.

The “I don’t know why I like you I just do” is also a ruse. He’s 40. He’s married. He is not some inexperienced 20yo who doesn’t understand his own feelings. If he’s still in the stage of “idk why i like u i just do so i cheated on my wife and kids to be with you on the side” at 40yo and married then there’s something mentally wrong with him.

Imagine if you went and took his offer. Aside from the vulnerable position he puts you in, imagine if you fully fell in love with him. I am 100% sure he’s not gonna make it public that he’s dating you. You will be the secret. Which will make you even more vulnerable, especially if you’re emotionally invested in him. You will be a 19yo in a secret relationship with your 40 year old colleague who also has a wife and kids. This is not a happy way to live. No matter how much you like him now, that kind of relationship is never worth it and he knows it and he does not care. If he felt like you deserved a healthy, happy relationship, he wouldn’t have kissed you because he knows he couldnt provide that if he tried.

Imagine IF, against all odds, he decided to give up his wife and kids to live a happy life with you. Imagine he dies at 60. You will be the 40 year old widow.

This is not a healthy situation, this is not a life you want to live, and he knows it anon. He’s so damn sure about his safety in this situation that he went this far within a month. His wife, kids and job will be gone if anyone finds out about this and still he did it. He’s sure he won’t get hurt because he knows he’s got you in the palm of his hand. Which is logical, and 100% not something you could do anything about, but it’s super fucked up of him to do.

This is probably not the answer you were looking for, but the only one I can give. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I know that you’re probably reading this and thinking it’s not true because he’s so sweet and caring and is giving you the time to think about it, so it doesn’t feel creepy, but please look at this situation from a objective point of view and see how creepy this is.

No respectable married adult would put their family and job on the line to have an affair with someone they’ve known for a month, no matter their age. His age just makes it even more shitty for you because you’re more vulnerable now than if he was your age.

Again, nothing in this situation is your fault. When I found out about how my situation was actually really bad, I blamed myself for not noticing it sooner and not “being more mature” or whatever, but it literally doesn’t matter. You’re not the one at fault here but there’s absolutely something wrong with him.

I’m going to bed now because i should’ve been in bed about an hour ago, but i couldn’t not respond to this after getting the 2nd message. I hope you’re ok, I hope you can maybe find a trusted person to talk this over with (not necessarily an authorative figure immediately, but someone you can earnestly talk to about how you feel) and I hope to god you’ll stay away (or even just friends if necessary) from him and stay safe. This can only go wrong and you probably realize this.

[scarletjedi]

You know why I'm here. All of them. Write for me, my angel of writing! *slams hands into piano like the Phantom of the Opera*

you *shakes fist*

Fine. I’m not repeating myself, tho :P

and i’m putting this under a cut for length. 

1. Describe yourself how you would describe a character you’re introducing

She entered the room like a riot, drawing the attention of everyone (She grins, and it stretches across her face, showing teeth, and most of the smiles that greet her are warm, but there are a few severe frowns on pinched faces, and you wonder). She’s loud when she moves, not her voice, though her laugh is...distinctive, a hearty sound that lifts to a delighted cackle--but her keys jangle at her belt, and her bracelets jingle at her wrist when she moves. She is always moving, a restless energy as she puts down her things and opens her laptop, her heel bouncing and making the table squeek. You realize that she can’t hear it, a discrete pair of headphones over her ears also explains the music you could have sworn you heard when she entered the room. 

You watch as she works; even self-contained, she’s a distraction, a bright spot of color in the corner of the room. Her hair, as short as it is, is a shining blond that curls over her forehead like Superman, and the light catches off of the glitter at her eyes, on her nails, and she sparks in the periphery of your vision. 

Something makes her frown, and the expression pulls at the corners of her mouth, crinkling her forehead and you realize that she’s older than you first thought, the worry lines comfortable on her face. 

One of the others, the pinched faced older woman, goes over to her, and she begins to speak without greeting. It takes a minute for the bright spot to notice her, but she does, pulling her headphones from her ears and looking up with a perfectly pleasant expression. You’d even swear that smile reaches her eyes, if you couldn’t see the way the others, the smilers, all being to pay attention, as if expecting a show.

But instead, she simply stands, and next to the pinched woman, you can tell that she’s larger than she looks, taller and broader shoulders, with strong arms that brace on her hips, and her face is still pleasant, even as her body screams “fight me, Helen.” 

The pinched woman finishes her say, and leaves, and the room feels brighter for it. She relaxes, dropping back down into the seat, and catches your eyes. She grins at you. 

“Some fucking people,” she says, the laughter clear in her voice, and goes back to work. 

2. Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?

depends on where I am and what I’m writing. I usually try to work in a clean space, so i’ll clear off my table/desk/etc, and if I can I’ll light a candle. I’ll put on music if i’m trying to meet a deadline. 

Honestly, my most consistent ritual, is announcing my goal out loud. “Today, I’d like to get 2k words written” or “Today, I’d like to finish the next chapter”

It helps to give me direction, and allows me to take breaks when I’ve met my “goal” and *need* a break but feel frustrated and like I can’t stop even though nothing’s happening. 

3. What is your absolute favorite kind of fic to write?

Well, I certainly have a penchant for time travel, lol. 

I like to take ridiculous “crack” scenarios and treat them seriously. 

4. Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why?

@determamfidd for her worldbuilding and delight, @poplitealqueen for her enthusiasm and drive, @deadcatwithaflamethrower for her prolific dedication, Speranza for always writing the fic that I didn’t know I needed and her characterization

5. How many words can you write if you sit down and concentrate intensely for an hour?

I can get about 700 words in 30 minutes, so...1400? I have trouble concentrating for a solid hour, however. 

8. Why do you choose to write?

I think it’s funny that you think I have a choice. 

I write because I need to, becuase I want to and like to, because I feel better when I do--because I have something to say, damnit, and this is the way I chose. 

9. Do you ever have plans to write anything other than fic?

Yep! I have a novel in the revision stage (heavy fucking revision) and another, like, 3 in the planning stages. I also have a few short stories written under my pen name and plans for a novel under her name as well. 

10. What inspires you the most?

well written fiction. 

11. Weirdest thing you’ve ever written/thought about writing/etc.?

define weird. (No, seriously, I write fantasy and speculative fiction and magical realism. my bar for weird is *very* high)

12. A fix you wish you had written better, and why?

you mean a fic? Love Letters from Zelda Rubenstein. It’s not that I think it’s bad, but that fic was bigger in my head than it is on the page and that bothers me. (Then again, it was one of the first longer fics that I wrote, so there was a learning curve)

13. Favorite fic from another author?

have three - 

Sansukh by Determamfidd (Tolkien)

Waking Dream by deadcatwithaflamethrower (Star Wars)

All the Angels and The Saints by Speranza (Marvel)

14. Your favorite side pairings to put in?

Depends on the fandom, and it varries by fic. Like, I will always write Obi-Wan in love with Qui-Gon, wether or not the relationship ever existed, and Jesse and Kix is always gonna happen for me. I think Luke and Biggs totally banged, and Percy and Oliver had a thing during fifth year. Harry and Ron never hooked up, but Harry *could* have loved Draco if Harry wasn’t Harry and Draco wasn’t Draco, and Ron was totally jealous of both Krum *and* Hermione. 

I can’t “take away” a love interest from a character without giving them someone new. If I was to write Obikin, Padme is loved by Sabe, or all of the handmaidens. Stucky has Peggy happy elsewhere (Gabe Jones or Angie Motherfucking Martinelli). 

16. Do you have structured ideas of how your story is supposed to go, or make it up as you write?

I have checkpoints - moments that I know will happen. I write them out, and then I play connect the dots. 

17. Would yo describe yourself as a fast writer?

I used to. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m faster in the summer than in the winter, that’s for sure. 

18. How old were you when you started writing?

I have a journal with Muppet Baby fanfiction, and the handwriting puts be in early grade school, like first or second grade. 

I published for the first time on ff.net at 15/16. 

19. Why did you start writing?

Because if nobody was going to write the stuff I wanted to read, I would have to do it myself. 

20. 4 sentences from your work that you’re proud of

Here, from my most recent “Attachments” 

When Luke saw Biggs next, he was decked out in orange, and they were both on their way to run against the Empire’s superweapon. He ignored the pulsing threats that hummed in the back of his mind in the same place where he had seen and not seen the blaster remote. When Biggs died in the shower of sparks, Luke told himself that the aching darkness in his heart was just grief.

He was never very good at believing his own lies.