#notmydeathnote

[marxiehodgeheg]

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 

BUT IT GETS BETTER 

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 

im so fucjing done with this film 

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 

its Mia

some cops walked off a building 

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe 

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 

she begs for him back 

she pulls out the i love you card 

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad 

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really 

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 

PARKOUR 

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 

bye Mia, bye white!light 

oop Mia is dead 

L is okay 

white!light is in the water 

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

 memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 

and then get this 

IT FUCING ENDS 

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 

Death Note 2017 whats that? 

[strawberichu]

i never want to watch the new death note I'll just sit in my room and rewatch the anime until netflix gets rid of it or something

[robrai]

So is your version of Misa, if we're being specific. I don't think I can fully comprehend how they screwed up Death Note this badly. Please don't let this happen to My Hero Academia.

[djluongo]

So I saw the new Death Note movie on Netflix..... not exactly a fan of it. #brokeandcaffeinated #deathnote #netflix #lightturner #L #instaart #comic #webcomic #hateit #ryuk #notmydeathnote #instaartist #anime

[yamiyoogi]

#NotMyDeathNote

[conformist-rebellion]

#NotMyDeathNote

Okay let’s sit down and bang out everything wrong with Netflix’s Death Note. I’m still 15 minutes from the end of the movie and I just....what. What is this dribble.

Okay let’s start with the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that they made Light WHITE?? And set it in SEATTLE?? Besides the casting being just plain racist, so much of Light’s character was born partially out of his culture, such as his respect for his parents, his type of schooling, HIS FUCKING NAME, I could go on. He’s white and lives in America? A lot of that goes out the window.

So we open and the first five minutes clues you in that everything is going to be a disaster. No longer is Light the brilliant and handsome student we all know and love, but he’s some punk kid that gets in trouble all the time and cheats a lot. Oh and then we find out his mom is dead. And his little sister never existed in the first place. Which I ASSUME was a half-assed attempt to give Light some motive for using the Death Note but because his mom’s death is never touched on ever again, it’s a useless plot point. ALSO. When he meets Ryuk (give credit where it’s due, Willam Dafoe was cool) he’s suddenly a huge fucking wimp. Part of what makes Light’s character so interesting is his slow descent into madness. Beginning Light would NEVER lose his cool. AND. Straight up, Netflix Light is not the least bit clever. It was as if he got the Death Note and just sort of hurrrr durrrr’d his way through using it, never playing with and twisting the rules. And they clearly tried to make up for this in the end with his hospital scene where he was all like “NO BUT I ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING THE WHOLE TIME” but having never set him up as a truly cunning person, this fell way flat.

Ryuk. How hard do you have to try to fuck up Ryuk?? Mistake number one, they never gave us the Shinigami background, which would have been WAY cool in live action. They dropped him to more off a useless background character and took away his amused neutrality. Shinigami don’t give no fucks about humans sooooOOOoooOOOoo why was Ryuk so damn opinionated all of the sudden. OH ALSO. Where were was the whole “Shinigami eyes” thing??? And his love of apples was never discussed, making his constant apple eating just plain random.

Don’t even get me started on MIA. I’m all for strong women, but Misa Misa is supposed to be a vapid pawn, a tool for Light to use that also serves to highlight how Light is incapable of real love. But apparently Netflix thought “you know what the kids are into these days? opinionated women” and came up with the disaster that is Mia, who cannot even be compared to Misa Misa because it’s just SO. DIFFERENT. What was her motivation behind her actions?? WHO KNOWS. 

Okay so props to the actor who played L, great acting. BUT. I was for sure expecting someone weird and creepy looking, ya know?? They made him all handsome and I felt it took away from who L is. And we never learn his name. And he never dies. These are such glaring errors I won’t even bother touching on them. 

WHERE WAS NEAR. WHERE WAS MELLO. WHERE WERE THE FAKE KIRAS. WHERE WAS NAOMI. WHERE WAS THE PASSAGE OF TIME????? Light starts in high school and goes to college and GAHHHOSIFHSILDCBHSKDHHUILFHJKC. They took away the slow descent into madness!! Also by leaving out girlfriends, family members, etc., they took away the chance to show a) how he really does not have genuine love for anyone b) the falling away of this “mask” he’s created and c) how his decisions leave him isolated and eventually destroy him. Which is like.........the subtle baseline of the whole story. At the conclusion of the movie, Light is beside his loving father. They never really stripped him of everything he had which then prevented Light from hitting rock bottom. 

My favorite scene from the anime was when at the end, we see Light running frantically while getting flashbacks from the day he first found the Death Note. That scene was SO POWERFUL because as the series continued, we see Light’s demise little by little. We only get a true feeling of how far he’s fallen when we are given that contrast. Choosing to develop a plot line that ends the story any other way is simply a massive disservice to the story and its audience. Basically, it’s weak. 

IN CONCLUSION. Those are just a FEW of the reasons Death Note By Netflix was the worst thing ever. And I’m 150% positive I’ll think of more but GAHHHH I’m so heated!! An hour and forty minutes of my life I’ll never get back. 

[marxiehodgeheg]

I feel genuinely worried that everywhere I look I seem to be the only one disturbed by the fact that Death Note 2017's moral of the story is how that "if you're an edgy white kid it's okay to murder anyone you deem worthy of death, as long as they are a criminal or stand in the way of your vision of a better world, and don't worry about getting in trouble because there will always be sheep ready to defend you even against the law it's self... does no one see how this transfers to real life?

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 preach it my anon friend

[marxiehodgeheg]

I can't believe you watched the whole death note movie I had to stop it pained me so many good characters just not there heck

Trust me I stopped paying attention but I had to push through just so that I could rekt it with my sick notes