#november's coming and i want this thing caught up nice and neat before i write more

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (209/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball,  which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made  on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: This story This story takes place about 1000 years before  66 years after  1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[12 March 238 Before Age. Dorlu Prime.]

Luffa had once been the Legendary Super Saiyan, until the Demon God Demigra offered her a chance to do it all over again. She found herself in a new history, where the alien hordes who captured and tortured her were all dead. With the Tikosi's extinction, and Luffa's foreknowledge of events to come, she had a chance to live her life the way she had always wanted. All of the friends, the love, the triumphs, with none of the loss, the regrets, the tragedies.

Or so it had seemed.

She was still trying to decide whether to accept Demigra's truce. His terms were simple. If she agreed to remain in this new reality, he would leave her alone. But if she refused to accept his triumphant ascension to godhood, then Luffa could confront him for one final battle. She only had to take the magic scroll he had left for her, and she would instantly travel from her world to his. Since that path lay open to her, she decided to take her time and see what this new world had to offer.

At first, it had seemed like a dream come true. She was back on Dorlu Prime, where she had spent her teenage years guarding the planet as a mercenary. Her treacherous father had left the planet in a profound despair. His plans for the future had died with the Tikosi, and only Luffa knew just how shaken this had left him. That suited her well, as it meant she could chart her own course without him.

Keda was alive in this world, still a healthy nine-year-old child, unaffected by the terrible conflicts that only Luffa could now remember. The same was true for Zatte, the captain of the Dorlun militia. In this era, she had been Luffa's best friend, although later they would fall in love and marry. However, in this era, Luffa was still married to her first husband, Kandai.

Luffa's plan was fuzzy in places, but the basic goal was to divide her time between the Dorlu Colony and finding mercenary work in the surrounding space sectors. That way, she could still have Zatte and Keda in her life, without taking them away from their home. From there, Luffa could reach out to other close friends she had made in the old reality. It would be a challenge to make contact with them all and befriend them all over again, but Luffa cared for them too much to simply ignore them.

But that part of the plan had ended before it could truly begin. She had contacted Dr. Topsas on Plutark VII, hoping to strike up a friendship with him while he put her in contact with Wampaaan'riix. Instead, he informed her that Wampaaan'riix had been killed in a Deathmatch tournament.

This had been a huge blow to Luffa, who had never even considered the possibility. In the old reality, Wampaaan'riix had survived the tournament, thanks to Luffa's refusal to kill him. This time, she had skipped the tournament, never suspecting that her Yetitan friend might lose his life to some other opponent.

After hearing the news, she was inconsolable for hours. The worst part was that she couldn't even tell anyone what was bothering her. There was no way to explain it.

In the old reality, she might have commiserated with Zatte through her telepathic abilities, which had become much more sophisticated after Luffa became a Super Saiyan. But in this reality, Luffa was still at the power level she had been at the age of nineteen. Telepathy on that level, with an alien, was impossible.

And eventually, after Luffa had neglected enough mealtimes in her despair, it was Kandai who reached out to comfort her. He didn't know why she was upset. Indeed, she had been distant towards him for days without any apparent reason. But he still knew how to charm her, and how to get her to vent her emotions without hearing the context behind them.

The answer was combat.

Their battleground was on the far side of the planet. Dorlu Prime was mostly a primeval wilderness covered in sparse vegetation and inhospitable wastes. The Dorluns had grand dreams for the planet, but their colony was only a tiny speck of civilization on an otherwise uninhabited world. And so it was easy for Luffa and Kandai to find a suitable place to fight without damaging anything important.

It was a one-sided affair. At her present level, Luffa's powers were no match for Kandai's, but that didn't stop her from hitting him with everything she had. As for Kandai, he held back, allowing Luffa to fight to her fullest without shutting her down too quickly. He still fought back, but only to keep her motivated to try harder.

In the end, Luffa put everything she had left into a final assault, charging all of her power into the fingertips of her left hand, and firing a focused beam of ki at his heart. But he was too fast to hit, and before she could react, he was grasping her by the wrist and spoiling her aim. She tried to headbutt him, only for Kandai to use his free hand to deliver a chop to her neck. Luffa collapsed to the ground in a heap. She was still conscious, but too weary to move.

"Not bad, Luffa," he said as he alighted beside her. "I guess training those blue folks really helped you improve."

"Th-thank you," Luffa said between gasps. When she finally found the strength to roll over onto her back, she saw Kandai had lain down beside her.

"Something's got you all riled up," Kandai said. "I don't know what it is, and I guess you're never gonna tell me, but I could sense it in those punches of yours. Oh, and that red laser beam thing you just used a minute ago. Where'd you learn that one?"

"Long... story..." Luffa said.

"Yeah, well your emotions were all over the place," Kandai said. "It's like you wanted revenge for something, and I don't even know what for. If I didn't know better, I'd think you wanted me dead."

"Maybe..." Luffa said with a bitter chuckle.

"Whatever it is, I'm sorry, okay?" Kandai said.

With a loud grunt, Luffa sat upright, and began grabbing at her black, sleeveless shirt.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"The same thing we always do after we spar," Luffa said as she pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. "Unless you're not up for it."

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think you'd be in the mood," Kandai said. "You haven't been... I mean, for the last month or so..."

Luffa started taking off her boots next. "I know. I've had a lot on my mind, that's all. And... and..."

He kissed her before she had to struggle to find the words that she couldn't say. Luffa returned his embrace, and they continued on in this way, lying in the crater they had made in the dusty wastes.

She was conflicted about making love to him this way. She was married to him in this world, but in the old reality, they had become enemies, and she had pledged herself to Zatte. It felt wrong to pursue her feelings towards either one, but after the news about Wampaaan'riix, she couldn't stand the isolation any longer. She needed to be held, and to be reassured, and Kandai could understand her without the need for words.

Later, as she lay beside him, her head cradled between his chest and his arm, she decided to ask the question. "Did you know my father was negotiating with the Tikosi?"

"What?" he asked, somewhat drowsily.

"I found out," she said. "Don't ask me how. He was plotting something with them. That's why he was so grim after he found out they were all dead."

"You're kidding, right?" Kandai asked. "No... no, you're serious, aren't you? Well, no. He never said anything to me about it. What the hell were we doing during all those patrols then?"

"They wanted a Saiyan specimen," Luffa said. "That's what the Tikosi would do. They wanted the Dorluns to study their abilities, and they wanted to study our zenkai."

"Luffa, why are you telling me this now?" Kandai asked.

"Because I want a straight answer," Luffa replied. "And you're a lousy liar after we've... well, you know."

"No! He never said anything about this," Kandai said. "What, you think he was going to hand me over to them?"

"I don't know," Luffa lied. "He might have had someone else in mind. Maybe even me."

"You're his daughter."

"So tell me," Luffa said. "If it had been me, he would have had say something to you, sooner or later. Would you have gone along with it?"

"The Tikosi are dead," Kandai said. "Your dad's long gone."

"Answer the question," Luffa insisted.

He sighed, then said: "Well yeah, I probably would have. I mean, what else could I do? Fight your dad and take on all the Tikosi all by myself? I'd just get us both killed."

As chilling as the answer was, Luffa found the honesty refreshing. "I see your point," was all she could think of to say.

"I mean, what would you do if they had picked me instead?" Kandai asked. "You're telling me you'd rush off and die in a fight you knew you couldn't win?"

Luffa was about to say that she would, without question. Her pride as a Saiyan would have demanded it, and the example set by the tales of the Old Heroes would have inspired her to fight in spite of the odds. She had proven her convictions time and again during he career as the Legendary Super Saiyan.

But then she thought of Demigra's truce, and how she still hadn't decided whether or not she would accept it. The conflict with Demigra seemed pointless now. The Time Patrol no longer existed, and the history they had fought for was already gone. How would the Old Heroes of Saiyan Legend have dealt with that?

"I think, once, I would have died for you without hesitation," Luffa said. "Now... I'm not so sure."

"So it's this business with your dad that's been bothering you this whole time," Kandai said. "And you were worried that I was in cahoots with him."

"Let's just say I've been rethinking my whole life," Luffa said. "And I'm seeing everyone I know with a new perspective."

"Oh yeah? And what do you see in me?" Kandai asked.

"You're a pushover," Luffa said.

"Hmph. Yeah, I suppose you've got me there."

"You said before you prefer to go with the flow, that you prefer to be a follower. The truth is you're just a doormat. You'll play along with whoever offers you the safest or most profitable path."

"I never pretended otherwise," Kandai said.

"You're probably right," Luffa said. "I just assumed you were more principled than that. I saw something noble in you, but that was only what I wanted to see. I put you on a pedestal because you were so much stronger than me. The ideal man."

"You weren't complaining a few minutes ago, when I was--"

"Yeah, yeah, you do that part just fine," Luffa said with a wry smile. "I guess I let that cloud my perception too.

"So we can call it off here," Kandai said. "If that's what you want. No hard feelings. Strictly business between us from here on out."

"I didn't say I wanted that," Luffa said.

"Then what do you want?" Kandai asked. "You've always had this glint in your eye, Luffa. Like you craved something with all your heart, and you could never put it into words. So how do we get it for you? You always talked about starting a family, but... well, I think we already know how to do that."

Luffa sat up and looked around for her clothes. "I... I think we should head back to the settlement," she said.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" she said, more anxiously than she wanted to sound. "I just... remembered I needed to check on something."

*******

Luffa did not spend long in the settlement, and headed directly for the Saiyans' ship. She fetched the medical scanner, and waved it around herself. She had done this before, but only to investigate the lack of certain scars on her body. Now, she understood that Demigra had somehow transported her into her younger body, that was no longer a mystery. But something Kandai had said to her in the wastes had convinced her to perform a more thorough examination.

The results were as she suspected, but before she could truly react, she heard Zatte and Kandai on board. They were looking for her, and so she stepped out to greet them.

"I just got back from meeting with the Elders," Zatte said. "It's not perfect, but I think I have a way to join your crew, Luffa."

Luffa was confused for a moment. She had completely forgotten Zatte's report to her superiors.

"Wow, you really worked her over, huh?" Zatte said to Kandai as she pointed at several scrapes and bruises on Luffa's arms and head. "I could sense you two going at it all the way from here."

"Whoa whoa! Hey...!" Kandai said. "You could tell we were--?! Oh, wait, you meant fighting. Well, yeah. Sometimes a little spar is the best way to get out of a funk."

"Sure, it's just weird to see Luffa be the one who gets all worn out," Zatte said. "I can come back later."

"No, it's fine," Luffa said. "The Dorlun Elders. What did they say?"

"In principle, they like the idea of a Dorlun operative maintaining a presence in space," Zatte began. "The problem is that I have obligations here, to this place. I'm not at liberty to explain that, but I can't just be re-assigned offworld so easily."

"So they want some other Dorlun to go with us instead?" Kandai asked. "That wasn't the idea. It's you or nobody."

"That's what I told them," Zatte said. "And they agree, I'm the best qualified for the position. The Elders just don't like one Dorlun running off by herself with a pair of aliens. But I've read the Holybook, and I think there's a way to flip this around to satisfy them."

"Holybook?" Kandai asked.

"Their religious text," Luffa said.

"Oh."

"Basically, if there was a familial connection between us, that would clear everything up. A legal relationship-- like adoption or marriage-- can be just as valid as blood." Zatte paused and looked at them both before continuing. "All right, so this might be a little too radical for you Saiyans, but hear me out. If I was married into your family, then I would have sufficient justification to go with you, and the Elders would approve of my transfer."

"What?" Luffa asked.

"Married to who?" Kandai asked.

"Well, Luffa," Zatte said. "I mean, scripturally, it could be to either one of you, but you're not my type, Kandai. No offense."

"Are you out of your mind?" Luffa exclaimed. She pointed at Zatte, then at Kansai. "I can't marry you, I'm already married!"

"No, this could work," Kandai said. He began to rub his hand over his chin as he considered it. "Once we make it official, we're free and clear, aren't we?"

"That's right," Zatte said. "The marriage itself is the thing. Once that's accomplished, well, I can play it any way you'd like."

"Well, this could work, I guess," Kandai said. "Luffa and I had been talking, and maybe things aren't working out between us as well as we thought."

"Oh?" Zatte said. "I don't want to cause any trouble between you..."

"It's fine," Kandai said. "I'm not that thick-headed. If things play out that way, then so be it. Or Luffa can switch back and forth for a while until she makes up her mind. Right, Luffa?"

"I... I need to get some air," Luffa said.

"What's wrong?" Zatte asked. "Look, if this is a problem for you, I apologize. I just thought--"

Luffa ran past them and kept going until she had made it through the entrance hatch. She did not stop until she reached her personal quarters in the settlement.

It was all wrong. So very wrong. Wampaaan'riix was dead, and Dr. Topsas didn't even know him or Luffa well enough to care. Kandai barely seemed to value their marriage at all, and Zatte was willing to exploit that to get a berth on their ship.

Perhaps it would have been simpler to part ways with Kandai and make a clean break, but even that option was muddied by the results of her medical scan. She was pregnant. It was so early into the term that she hadn't noticed it before, but the scanners could tell. He was only a cluster of cells in her uterus, but her only son, Katem, was already beginning to enter this reality.

She could still cut ties with Kandai anyway. His behavior in the old history had already proven that he cared little for their son. He might have been grateful to be excused from the responsibility of fatherhood, but it still rankled her to consider it.

Then there was Zatte. Luffa felt like their relationship in this reality had gotten off to a wrong start. There was something cynical about Zatte's approach, something she couldn't put her finger on. Then it hit her: The Makyans.

In the old history, the Makyans had captured Zatte after the Tikosi massacre. Luffa never learned exactly when that was supposed to have happened, or why the Makyans had been on Dorlu Prime in the first place. Luffa had rescued Zatte from their power, and that had changed the entire dynamic of their romance. Luffa had no intention of letting Zatte fall into their evil clutches again, but that meant her relationship with Zatte would never be quite the same as what Luffa had once known.

And that only raised further questions. Was it right to keep Zatte off Dorlu Prime to protect her from a possible Makyan raid? Would the Makyans even go to Dorlu Prime without the Tikosi attack to precede it? How could Luffa warn the colonists of a threat she wasn't even sure about? And whatever she decided, what would be the effects of those choices?

Her son, Katem, had died in the old reality, betrayed by everyone who claimed to be on his side. She imagined him as a grown man, still calling himself "Xibuyas"-- the name King Rehval had given him. She imagined him dying, abandoned on some nameless battlefield, wondering why his mother had been too weak to spare him from such a fate. Now, she had a second chance to get things right for him, but was it right? Was it worth Wampaaan'riix's life? And even if it was right, how could Luffa be sure that her son wouldn't end up suffering the same fate, or worse?

She couldn't stand it any longer. Every action, every inaction, every decision she made in this new world was fraught with consequences. It filled her with a dread she couldn't describe, and in her haste to be rid of it, she flung open the cabinet in the corner, and reached out for the glowing scroll that lay inside.

Demigra threatened to kill her if she used it, but that no longer mattered. If he had the power he claimed, then she would die in battle and have done with it. And if not...

She had no idea what a victory over Demigra could even be. If he had truly destroyed all of history, then killing him would mean there would be nothing left, except for her. What then?

The thought of drifting alone in the emptiness was enough to stay her hand. Was that her fate? To be the last survivor of a doomed universe?

Her hands began to tremble. She set her teeth and balled her fists, drawing blood from her palms as she tried to force them to be steady. Then, with a defiant snarl, she reached out and took the scroll, moving as fast as she possibly could, faster than her mind could second-guess herself.

The scroll glowed more intensely as she drew it towards her chest . And just as she wondered what was supposed to happen, the world around her went white.

*******

[??????????????????]

Luffa remembered this place, or at least another one just like it. It was a featureless expanse. The ground was smooth and snow white, while the skies roiled with turbulent aurorae. The scroll was still in her left hand.

"I'm back?" she asked. "This is where I was before I ended up on Dorlu Prime. Isn't it?"

"Yes. It's good to see you, Luffa."

The sound of another voice startled Luffa so much that she nearly jumped out of her boots. She spun around, and found a familiar face, one she had never expected to see.

"Dotz?!" Luffa gasped.

She was a fortune-teller Luffa had befriended at the beginning of the war with the Jindan Cult. Much of her appearance was the same as the last time Luffa had seen her. Dotz was tall, dressed in a long purple gown with hood around her face. A mauve shawl was draped across her shoulders, and her thin bony hands were clasped together in a hopeful gesture. The only differences lay in some of the arcane ornaments she wore, and her age. The Dotz Luffa had known was middle-aged. Now, she looked to be much older. Her once-subtle wrinkles now cut deeper lines in her face, and the greying hair under her hood now shone stark white.

"Oh, goodness. You look just like I remembered," Dotz said with a smile.

Luffa stepped toward her and placed her free hand on Dotz's shoulder. "Where are we, Dotz? Did you bring us here? What happened to you?"

She took a deep breath before answering. "It's funny," she said. "I've been wanting to find you for so long, and now that you're here I can't think of what to say. I, uh, well... I didn't bring us here. Let me start with that. This is just where you happened to be when I finally found you."

"You've been looking for me?" Luffa asked.

Dotz nodded solemnly. "Yes," she said. "Ever since you vanished that day on Planet Nagaoka. Everyone believed you had died. I mean... well, the planet exploded and everyone knew you were there when it happened. It made sense that you had perished there. It made sense to everyone, but not to me."

"I survived," Luffa said. "A magic dragon rescued me and took me into the distant future."

"Yes, yes," Dotz said. "I knew it had to be something like that. Shenron."

"You know about Shenron?" Luffa asked. "Then you know the rest? The Dragon Balls? The Time Patrol?"

"No," Dotz said, "but I've seen bits and pieces in my visions. What I meant was that it had to have something to do with you being sent forward in time. That was why I could never get a proper reading whenever I tried to tell your fortune. My psychic abilities improved after we first met, do you remember?"

Luffa nodded. "We couldn't have fought the war without you, Dotz," she said. "Well, we might have, but it would have been a lot bloodier without your ability to predict which planets the Jindan Cultists would attack. And you worked so hard to improve your abilities even further. I... never really got the chance to tell you how much I respected you for that."

She became overcome with emotion, and before she knew it, she dropped the scroll and embraced Dotz with both arms.

"Oh, well, I wasn't expecting this..." Dotz said.

"I've missed you," Luffa said. "You and all the others... I..."

"There now... it's okay," Dotz said as she patted Luffa on the back. "I... forgot how young you were when you disappeared. To tell the truth, I've been trying to find you for so long, it started to feel like an abstraction. Now that you're here, I... well. It's very good to see you."

"How did you find me?" Luffa asked. "I don't even know where this place is."

"After the war, I continued to develop my abilities," Dotz explained. "It always bothered me that I couldn't tell your fortune, even a little. That's why I didn't believe you died on Nagaoka. That should have been easy to foresee, but I had no idea until it happened. Well, over time, I got better at telling fortunes. I learned some new tricks, and improved on some old ones. I found out you were still alive in the far future, but there was still something obstructing my vision. It took me a while to get it right, but I finally managed to get past that obstacle. And uh... here I am."

"You transported yourself through time?" Luffa asked. "You never had that kind of ability before?"

"Well, no, and I don't have it now," Dotz said. "I'm not really here, Luffa. I can talk to you and touch you, but I think that's just because this vision I'm having is so focused, so clear. There's nothing else here in this time and place. So there's nothing to distract me from what I came to find, which is you."

"Then... then there's nothing you can do," Luffa said.

Slowly, she released Dotz from the embrace and stepped back. "When I saw you, I thought you might have had something to do with the scroll, or this place. Or maybe you could take me back with you."

Dotz shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm not really clear on what's going on. I saw visions of a man, screaming something about making a 'new history.' Is that why there's nothing here? But how did you survive?"

"It's a long story," Luffa said. "A goddess of time needed my help to stop an evil wizard, and I failed. He destroyed... everything." She waved at the emptiness around them, as if Dotz had not already seen it for herself. "He said he made a timeline just for me to live in if I left him alone... but... it's no good, Dotz. I'd just make a mess of that world too."

Luffa pointed at the scroll she had dropped. "He told me that if I changed my mind, I could use that scroll to take me to him for a final battle. But instead it just took me to this place. I don't know why. I don't understand any of it."

"What about the other one?" Dotz asked. "I sensed another presence in this time."

"Who?" Luffa asked. "As far as I know, it's just Demigra and myself at the end of existence. Who else could there be? Wait... you don't mean..."

"That's right. She's referring to me."

The new voice was not one Luffa had heard before. She and Dotz looked around, but found no sign of the speaker.

"Who's there?" Luffa asked, unsure whether she actually wanted answer. She nearly suggested that Dotz should stay close to her, but thought better of it. Even if Dotz were truly here, what could Luffa possibly do to protect her?

At last, she noticed the scroll beginning to glow a brighter shade of purple, and it unfurled all on its own. Luffa watched as something began to emerge from the parchment, like an animal rising up from a murky swamp. The form was indistinct, more like a glowing fog than a person. Then, as it cleared the parchment, it took shape, and Luffa could recognize the vague outline.

"It can't be," Luffa said. "I mean, you're the only one left, but how can you be here?"

Despite Luffa's confusion, there was no mistaking the Divine Tokitoki Bird. He floated there with outstretched wings, and stared intently at Luffa.

"Well then, Luffa," the voice said. "Are you finally ready to fight?"

NEXT: One With Everything.

[enviedear]

the empty feeling → draco malfoy

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which malfoy is consoled by a girl who can’t help but fall for him.

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.1k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you thought the reason your heart never fully recovered was because of the fact you had to see him everyday.

every single day you saw him. he was laughing, bickering, looking out a window, eating, reading, and in conversations. you couldn’t help but watch. you tried not to. you tried to make the love you had for him diminish. or maybe at least dull. it wouldn’t work.

you didn’t mean to fall in love with draco malfoy. however you did. your heart overruled your brain. at least when it came to him.

you think back to the day you knew you loved the slytherin boy. it was a foggy and rainy day that truly began at a slug club meeting.

“dreadful weather we’re having right, miss y/l/n?” slughorn asks you.

the rest of the slug club stares at you as you respond, “i quite like the rain. i get the best sleep when it rains.”

he nods and replies,”ah, just like your father. i remember he loved to listen the rain when he was your age. does he still listen? to the the rain, my dear?”

you didn’t want to talk about your father. not that you didn’t love the man, but you knew there wasn’t much you could indulge. he kept his work close to him and never really told you much. you knew slughorn would eventually lead the conversation to your fathers work.

“sometimes professor. he’s usually busy these days though.” you say, looking down at your ice cream.

busy because of people like zabini and crabbe’s parents. as you looked back up at slughorn you didn’t miss the sly look blaise gave you. you quickly turned your attention back to the professor.

“ah! i wouldn’t expect him not to be. amazing work your father does, making such simple objects into wands. you know my dear, i heard he turned a rusty old spoon into a very powerful wand!” slughorn boasts for you.

you smile as a response and allow the teacher to spark conversation with the other club members.

what slughorn forgets to add is that the wands your father has begun to produce are being used by many deatheater families. since the wands cannot be tracked, and are easy to pass off as illegitimate objects. they buy them for their children and it’s not as if your father or the ministry can do much about it.

plus, your father shouldn’t have to loose his job just because others take advantage of him. and even if he did make the damn things trackable that would be putting a target on his back.

as you mull over your thoughts slughorn stands and bids you all a goodnight. you politely tell the man night, and walk out of the room. you were going to head to the hufflepuff common room, but as you passed moaning myrtle’s bathroom you stopped in your tracks.

you heard crying. and the cries weren’t myrtle’s usual wails, but a boy’s. on further inspection you found that they also weren’t just any boys cries but, malfoy’s.

you slowly creeped into the abandoned bathroom, making sure to not alert malfoy that you were there.

he sat by the sinks and looked utterly distressed. his eyes a deep red. he looked completely broken. you’d never seen the boy like this. and it broke your own heart.

against your better judgement you cleared your throat to make yourself known.

he looked up at you, defeated.

you didn’t say anything as you bent down and gave the boy a hug. he didn’t say anything as he hugged you back. he just let his tears escape onto your shirt.

eventually he let you go. you didn’t have the slightest clue what to say. nothing seemed right.

“don’t tell a soul about this.” malfoy grimaced, getting to his feet.

you looked at him shocked, “i wasn’t. i-“ he cut you off with a scowl.

“draco you have to trust me. please i won’t say anything just.. take care of yourself.” you said.

he didn’t reply. he just walked out. leaving you confused.

after that day you couldn’t see draco malfoy as a nuisance. no, after that day you couldn’t help but to romanticize the boy. you didn’t think he bullied because he was hateful. no not at all. you thought he did it because he was lonely, sad, or upset. you found his worst qualities easy forgivable. you knew he was broken. but you also knew it wasn’t an excuse, you just couldn’t help it.

so you continued to watch him daily. eyeing him as much as you could. you began to love the way his face would turn into a sneer at the slighted inconvenience. you loved the way he held his cup. you loved the way he looked over his books. and for some reason you began hoping. hoping that maybe one day he would eye you too.

alas, the boy went and broke your heart by dating pansy. you knew it wasn’t done to be malicious. you knew he didn’t know about your feelings. you knew he was probably very happy with pansy and she with him.

though, you’d still find the boy in the bathroom on a regular basis and have to console him. each time you’d think he’d come around. each time he did not.

you kept hoping though. it proved you detrimental as you went from being a happy and loving person to someone who harbored far too much loathing. you couldn’t help it, you felt so cheated. how could you love and care for this boy and he not even say a word to you?

your friends noticed your behavior.

“y/n you’re taking out whatever is upsetting you on us. and you won’t even tell us what’s wrong.”

then your teachers.

“miss y/l/n your grades are slipping. and you’re not acting like yourself at all. is everything ok?”

then your sibling(s).

“i didn’t do anything to you, stop treating me like this y/n.”

and finally your parent(s).

“honey, are you sure everything is alright at school? you don’t have to go back if something is seriously wrong.”

you were better than before. you were finally home. you didn’t have to see the boy anymore. you didn’t have to be reminded of him every waking moment.

but still, you weren’t you.

you never told any of the people worried about you why exactly you weren’t ok. you hated the thought of being this upset over a boy you genuinely barely knew.

and even though you told yourself repeatedly that you in fact did not know malfoy, your heart proclaimed otherwise.

when you returned to school, this time in your sixth year, you decided that you needed to avoid the problem.

so you did. you ate breakfast and dinner without looking up from your food. you paid far too much attention in class. you never went to hogsmeade. you isolated yourself.

and it worked, more than less. you only caught a glimpse of malfoy a handful of times. each time less painful.

by november you began to forget about your weird fascination with malfoy. but when you received news that he and pansy had broken up your heart fluttered just like it would have a few months ago.

but still, finally you felt more like yourself. you began talking to your friends more. you went on a couple of dates. started helping out first years. everything was falling into place.

you tried to ignore the off feeling of emptiness that still lingered in you.

it’s january when you bump into him, on your way to the astronomy tower to meet your friends.

“sorry.” you say, continuing on your path.

“wait, come here, y/l/n.” he says, causing you to double back.

you turn to face him not even slightly happy that you’re allowing this exchange.

“i- well, i wanted to thank you for never telling anyone about last year. i’m sorry i was so brash to you,” he pauses. “that’s all.” he says.

you look at him stunned. it took him a year to apologize. although you knew he had no idea the amount of internal struggle he has caused you, you feel your blood boil.

“i’m glad you spent an entire year gaining the courage to apologize for your behavior. however, i don’t accept your apology. you’re such a coward, malfoy. i mean, you’re afraid that people would find out i consoled you. as if it’s even a big deal. just leave me alone.” you seethe.

whole-heartedly you couldn’t help your outburst. the boy just aggravated you. how could he apologize now?

“i’m sorry i didn’t apologize sooner, but if i were you i’d take the apology i was given.” he glares at you.

“or what malfoy? what could you possibly do?” you ask.

“i never said i’d do anything! i just suggested you take the apology. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, okay? you just looked so put off all the bloody time. i didn’t want to bother you.” he groans.

now your ears were hot and eyes stone cold.

“put off?” you spluttered, “it’s your fucking fault i looked so put off. you worried me to no end. i never knew if you were ok! and although i know it’s not my business it still hurt. i was so upset for you. and then you wouldn’t say a word to me. and then you dated parkinson. and-“ you stop yourself.

“you just apologized too late, alright.”

he looks at you bewildered, “i’m sorry i feel like i’m missing something.”

you roll your eyes, “i loved you draco. i don’t know why but i did. i wanted to make sure you were ok. everytime you needed me i was there. i never even asked for anything in return, not even human decency. but i shouldn’t have had to ask for that. you should have been nice to me. i was beyond nice to you.”

he furrows his brows,“i am truly sorry, y/n. i didn’t know. i was being selfish and i can admit i used you for your kindness. but if you’d give me the chance i’d be good to you. good for you. i- i never meant to hurt you.”

your cold gaze didn’t leave, “i don’t believe you.”

he sighs, “come here.”

he holds his hand out to you and you take it cautiously.

he leads you into the place where it all started, myrtle’s bathroom. he begins pulling a book out from his bag, and then he hands it to you.

“just look it over.” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

you open the book and are immediately greeted by drawings. illustrations littering the pages, and they’re all of you.

you turn to one page, it’s a drawing of you outside studying. underneath the picture sat draco’s neat writing.

she came to calm me down today. fourth time this week. she still hasn’t told anyone. that means a lot to me. i again didn’t tell her why i was upset. it seems stupid to tell her about my problems. she’s too pure for them. i’d never want to upset her. i think i love her. i don’t know how. i barely even talk to her. but her hugs are nice. and she’s always so kind. i just wish i knew how to tell her what’s going on. i wish i wasn’t so scared of her rejection. it’s all too much. at least i have this. all of these pictures of her. now i cant forget her even if i tried. but of course, i’d never want to forget her.

you look up from the page. you cant help the few tears that escape your eyes.

“you loved me? the whole time? and you didn’t tell me?” you ask.

he bites his lip, “you didn’t tell me either. plus i knew i was a prat. i didn’t think you’d even want to be loved by someone like me.”

you huff out a pained breath, “draco i have loved you since the day you allowed me to comfort you. i wanted nothing more than to help you and to make sure you were ok.”

he doesn’t say anything, instead he envelops you in a tight hug. the embrace eases your worry and soothes the empty part of you. the two of you continue to hold eachother for minutes on end, and by the time you pull away you know draco meant every single word.

“please never stop caring.” he tells you.

“never.” you agree.

and you mean it. you can’t stop the way your heart beats for the blonde boy, and you didn’t want to. you love him. almost as if you needed to.

[kumiwrites]

Beneath the Christmas Tree

Bakugou Katsuki’s lived with Kirishima since they graduated high school. Their life together has always been peaceful, and Bakugou’s never imagined living without that damn redhead. So when Kirishima has to move for work, and you end up moving in, Bakugou doesn’t know how to feel.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x GN!Reader Prompt: Naughty or Nice Genre: Fluff, some angst, roommates-to-lovers (and they were roommates) Warnings: None Word Count: 3182 A/N: This is my fic for the BNHA Hangout Server’s Christmas collab! Check out the other fics here! I chose to do a nice Bakugou, I love this stupid angry boy and his character development just makes my heart go brrrrt. My brain’s been a bit scattered as of late but I hope I get to write more this year and post the Todoroki fic I’ve been working on for the last year.

Bakugou Katsuki is not normally a sentimental guy.

Even with Kirishima moving out, he feels fine. He knows it’s for work, and he doesn’t mind shouldering the cost of the apartment for a month or two while he looks for a new place for when their lease is up at the end of the year.

Katsuki’s known, for a while now, that he wouldn’t be able to keep living with Kirishima their whole adult lives, but it’s still bittersweet saying goodbye to his best friend.

One morning, a week before Kirishima’s scheduled move-out date, the redhead sits Katsuki down at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and a fully cooked breakfast. There’s clearly something that Kirishima wants to talk about, and Katsuki has no idea what’s coming.

“So, Bakugou,” he begins, sipping slowly at his coffee. “I have a good friend, [Name]-chan.”

“Yeah, we’ve met at your birthday once,” Katsuki says warily, taking a bite of egg from the plate as he watches Kirishima. “Why?”

Kirishima grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “We caught up the other day, and they’re kind of in a pinch. Their roommate kicked them out so his girlfriend could move in, and they need to find a place before they have to get out.”

Katsuki almost immediately groans, already seeing where Kirishima’s going with his train of thought. Even the inviting aroma of his mug of coffee isn’t enough to put Katsuki into a better mood for a conversation like this. He debates whether or not he wants to shut the idea down immediately or entertain Kirishima’s suggestion; Katsuki decides on the latter because mornings where he wakes up to a fully cooked breakfast are few and far between. “And you want me to let her move into your room.”

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be permanent! But [Name]-chan is desperate, and I think they’d be a good friend for you, otherwise I wouldn’t ask,” he explains, hiding behind his mug.

“They’d be a good friend for me?” Katsuki asks, an eyebrow shooting up.

Kirishima laughs, nodding. “[Name]-chan really laid back, but they also like to keep things neat, so I think you’d get along well. They wouldn’t get in your way much, and they’d keep to themself! Plus, you’ve already met and you guys got along pretty well, no?”

Katsuki lets out a loud sigh, his fork clattering on the table as he rubs his temples. Kirishima’s always been one to dream big without thinking through the fine details, but this time, it feels like he’s taken the time to really talk this out with you before bringing it to Katsuki. The pitch is too well-thought out for it to have been a spur of the moment thing. “And they’re desperate to find a place to stay?”

Kirishima nods enthusiastically, taking a seat next to him. “They can come over later to hang out and plead their case, but I wanted to ask you first in case you’re really against it,” he explains, grinning. Sometimes, Katsuki wants to smother Kirishima alive. “And since I’m on my way out, I figured they could take over my half of the lease and when it’s time to renew at the end of the year, you could part ways!”

“And they’re desperate?” Katsuki asks again with a loud sigh.

“Absolutely desperate. Do you know how hard it is to find a trustworthy roommate these days?” Kirishima exclaims, arms thrown in the air. “As someone who’s had to search far and wide for a new one, let me tell you, it’s difficult!”

For some reason, Katsuki finds himself seriously considering the offer. It would be nice to not have to pay the full rent on his own for the next few months while he looks for a new place, and quite honestly, Katsuki got along with you quite well the one time he had met you.

“Will you at least let them come and talk to you themselves?” Kirishima asks, seeing the doubt flash through his friend’s eyes. When Katsuki nods, Kirishima practically howls, pumping his fists in the air before flipping through his contacts and dialing your number. “We’re good to go! Come over this afternoon for lunch!”

Katsuki knows he’ll regret saying yes.

“I swear, I’ll be out of your hair at the end of the year if you absolutely hate me, Bakugou-kun,” you reassure, hands clasped tightly as you sit on their sofa next to Kirishima. “I really wasn’t expecting to be kicked out so suddenly, but I was never really on the lease and was subletting one of the rooms…”

Katsuki grumbles, scratching the back of his head. You really do seem desperate, and at the very least, the two of you got along for now; there were worse roommates that Katsuki could’ve been stuck with. “We’ll need some ground rules.”

You nearly shoot out of your seat. “Absolutely. Anything.”

“The most important one: don’t make a fucking mess.”

Kirishima grins, slinging an arm around you and nudging his roommate with a foot. “See? Everything’s going to go great!”

Hopefully, Kirishima didn’t just jinx everything.

“I’ll put up my schedule on the fridge every week so we can rotate chores,” Bakugou explains, pointing to the magnetic whiteboard divided by days. “We usually take turns grocery shopping for common stuff, but if there’s anything specific we need we can write it down.” He motions to the notepad on the kitchen counter, and you nod. He’s come to realize, over the last week of bustle as he helped Kirishima move into his new place across town and moved you into the empty room, that you don’t like asking for help unless absolutely necessary. And, that you enjoyed order. From the way your boxes were meticulously labelled to how you were able to unpack and organize everything into your room within that day, Katsuki knew that at the very least, your organization skills would go well with how tidy he likes to keep the apartment.

“And cooking?” you ask, peering at the sleek, stainless steel stove and marble countertops. One of the first things you openly admired after Katsuki had agreed to letting you move in was the stove; it had something to do with being tired of shitty broken-down stoves that only had two working burners.

“You’re on your own there. If I’m feeling nice, I might make some for you,” he says gruffly, running a hand through his hair.

You laugh, nodding. “Sounds reasonable. Same goes for you, then.”

He glances at you, before looking towards your room, eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t be a slob,” he says finally—he’d probably been unsure of how to put it in nicer terms, but he knew that he didn’t have to say much on this front.

“I won’t,” you reassure, waving a hand at him as you return to your new room.

Katsuki begins warming up to you around the third week of living together.

He’s always been slow to start when it comes to things like coexisting with others, but mornings with you have grown to become one of the parts of the living arrangement that he enjoys most. He’s come to appreciate the sounds of you brewing coffee while he showers and your soft humming while you tidy up around the apartment before getting ready for the day.

It’s a peaceful coexistence.

There are some mornings where Katsuki is just getting home from the night shift, worn out and barely functioning, that he’ll pass by a bakery or a coffee shop just as it’s opening and will pick something up for you for breakfast. It only happens when he’s in the mood to play nice, and when he’s sure he’ll be back before you begin going about your morning. The few times that it has happened, you were surprised, but appreciative of the gesture.

Katsuki’s learned a lot about you in the past few weeks—how you take your coffees, which pastries are your favourites, the way you play music and sing along while you shower, how you curl up on the sofa watching shows at night before bed and always fall asleep—and he finds that he’s grown quite fond of your routines. It’s a steady, predictable rhythm that runs in the background while his unpredictable, hectic schedule throws him in and out of sync with you.

The first time he remembers ever thinking that he was glad you moved in was when he had been so overwhelmed at work on Halloween weekend, he had forgotten about groceries entirely. Without ever saying anything, you made him meals for that entire weekend until he was able to find the time to get everything back on track; waking up to breakfast on the counter with a small note letting him know that lunch was in the fridge, coming home to dinner being cooked for him, with all the chores done and apartment spotless—Katsuki’s never really been cared for like this since high school, and it makes something inside his chest rumble.

He could get used to this.

You get sick mid-November, almost two months after moving in, and Katsuki coincidentally also takes a few days off of work. The dates coincide by chance, of course.

Chance or not, though, he cooks every meal for you, making sure it’s light enough that it doesn’t upset your stomach, and keeps everything tidy while you wither away in bed or wrap yourself in your comforter and walk around like the dead. Every now and then, you’ll sit on the balcony for a bit, tucked into your comforter with your legs curled against your chest, and somehow Katsuki always ends up within earshot, as if watching to make sure all was well.

“Do you want to sit with me?” you ask him through the glass one day, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. How had you known he was standing by the door?

With a huff, he slides open the glass door, closing it gently behind him and leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. “You’re gonna get sicker if you stay out here any longer.”

“S’okay,” you reply softly, burying your face into the blanket. “I like the fresh air.”

“Whatever you say,” Katsuki replies gruffly. He’s realized over the years that he has to put a lot of effort into sounding neutral. His natural disposition has always been—and continues to be—an explosive one, even when he’s not angry, and it takes a lot of conscious effort on his part to tone that down and come off as anything other than a Pro Hero with Anger Issues™. His previous manager suggested getting a girlfriend or finding a therapist (or both), and that led to a vulgar fight, ending with the position of Ground Zero’s manager opening up again, along with a sweeping declaration that he’d never let someone tame him like that.

“Sorry I couldn’t be of more help around the apartment,” you say suddenly between sneezes.

“Don’t apologize for getting sick,” he scolded, knocking you gently in the head with the back of his hand.

You let out a soft laugh. “Can we make some tea?”

Katsuki nods without hesitation, already running through the medley of choices in his head as he opens the door for you.

“You’re telling me you’ve never had a Christmas tree in here?” you gaped, pointing at the perfect empty space in the living room, next to the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. It’s three weeks before Christmas, and you’ve been thinking of whether or not to decorate the place like you usually would. “You literally have the ideal space to set one up!”

Katsuki groans, setting his chopsticks down as he takes a sip of water. He had gotten home early and decided to cook dinner for the both of you while you were on your way back from work. If he had known he’d be harangued for his lack of holiday cheer, he wouldn’t have bothered. “Kiri and I’ve never had the freaking time, between holiday shifts and nearly passing out when we get back,” he bites back.

Pouting, you look around the apartment, taking in just how spacious everything is and how lovely it’d look once fully decorated for the holidays. “That’s a shame,” you murmur, cheek pressed into your palm as you rest your arm on the table. “Did you celebrate when you were growing up?”

A small hum of agreement left Katsuki’s throat as he swallowed his last bite of food. “Stupid old hag loves the holidays. Made my dad and I fetch a huge ass tree each year and set it up, and then we’d have to haul that damn thing to the dump afterwards. Being able to just relax during the holidays was a good change.”

You nod in understanding. “Yeah, I like the holidays, but I don’t like being stressed out about it. My favourite part was always this spicy hot chocolate my mom would take me to buy, with little marshmallows roasted on top.”

“Spicy hot chocolate? Sounds fucked.”

Laughing, you dip your finger into your water and flick it towards him. He yells, wiping the water off and throwing the tissue box at you, which you smack out of the way, a big grin plastered on your face. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, you asshole.”

Katsuki finds himself waiting up, in spite of all his senses telling him to sleep. Lounging on the couch, he drapes an arm over his forehead and scrolls through his phone absentmindedly, skimming through the news articles that litter his feed. He has an early-morning shift, but the knowledge that you’re out on a date with a shitty guy keeps him wide awake.

He’d never admit that to anyone, though.

When he hears the familiar jingle of keys outside the front door and your hushed swearing as you fumble through them to find the right one, he debates whether he should just make a break for his room. Would you think it’s weird that he’s still awake, clearly waiting for you?

“You’re not going to let me in?” a deep voice whispers, and Katsuki’s shoulders tense. “I won’t get to see you during the holidays, so shouldn’t we… spend more time together?”

“I—thanks for walking me to my door,” Katsuki hears you say. “I’ll text you.”

“Babe, c’mon—”

“I have work in the morning,” you say more firmly, and your date clicks his tongue. “I’ll text you.”

The door opens, and Katsuki stills as he waits for you to notice him. He sees you in the reflection of the balcony window, and watches as you press your back against the locked door and sink to your knees, clearly exhausted.

“You’re still awake,” you mumble, face buried into your forearms as you let out a deep breath. “What’re you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

You hum in acknowledgement.

“Shitty date?”

“Some people are just overly eager about skipping to the sex,” you grumble, shaking your head. “Shindou’s nice and all, but I can’t stand the way he looks at me.”

Katsuki’s eyebrows shoot up. “Shindou Yo?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, cheek squished against your forearm as you watch your roommate cross the room and hold out a hand to you. “You know him, I guess?”

He waits patiently for you to take his hand as he nods. “We faced off during a licensing exam. Wasn’t the best experience.” When you clasp your hand in his, he tugs gently and grabs onto your shoulders when you stand, steadying you.

“Thanks,” you murmur, sighing softly as you pat down your clothes. “Do you want a drink or something?” you ask hopefully, glancing up at Katsuki. You don’t want to go to bed in such a sour mood.

Katsuki lets out a laugh, his hand patting the top of your head as he makes his way to the kitchen with you in tow.

Katsuki is not normally a sentimental person.

But, coming home from one of the worst Christmas Eve shifts he’s ever had and seeing the glimmering lights on the Christmas tree, with a gift perched perfectly centered beneath it, has Bakugou speechless for the first time in his life. He turns, and in hand you have a cup of the spicy hot chocolate held out for him.

“You did all of this for me?” he asks incredulously.

You give him a sheepish smile and nod. “You said you’ve never had a Christmas tree in the apartment, so I wanted to make this year a bit more special.”

Katsuki plucks the mug from you and places it on the coffee table before taking your hands in his, pulling you to him. An arm wraps around your waist, the other pressing against the back of your head as he buries his face into your neck. He’s never been good with words, and gestures like this rendered him speechless more often than not. And not many people ever really go to lengths like this for him.

It takes you a moment to return his hug, but only because you really weren’t expecting such an affectionate reaction from him. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. “I’m glad you like it, Bakugou.”

He hums, and it reverberates through his chest and through your whole body. “You’re an absolute idiot, you know. You didn’t have to do all this.”

You laugh wholeheartedly, burying your face into his neck. “C’mon, try the hot chocolate.”

Katsuki makes a face when he pulls away, almost scowling as he reaches for the mug and gives it a long sniff. “It actually smells pretty good.”

“I’m telling you, it’s delicious.”

He watches as you take a long sip, and a devilish look flashes across his face as he sets his mug back down. Katsuki plucks your mug from you, setting it down next to his as he ignores your complaints while he tucks his fingers below your chin. He tilts your head back, eyes searching yours before he kisses you.

You’re a little shocked, but his lips are so soft against yours and his hands are so warm that you melt into him, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue finds yours.

He pulls away slowly, that mischievous glint in his eye making you laugh as you press your hands flat across his chest. “That was unexpected,” you say breathlessly, shaking your head.

Katsuki’s tongue darts across his lips before he smirks at you. “You’re right, it does taste good.”

It takes you a moment, but when your brain catches up to what he’s saying, you laugh so loudly that Katsuki starts laughing along with you. He presses his forehead to yours, his vermillion eyes glinting in the Christmas lights.

“Bakugou, kiss me again.”

“That’s Katsuki to you,” he murmurs, voice sultry as his nose brushes yours.

You lace your fingers through his, squeezing as he inches closer. “Kiss me again, Katsuki.”

The laugh rumbles in his chest as he kisses you again under the glimmer of the Christmas tree.

[purplepalmdelight]

i wrote again !! full work under the cut, tws in tags

Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Jonathan Byers & Will Byers Characters: Jonathan Byers, Will Byers, The Byers Family Trauma

“The Mind Flayer is out of him. The Upside Down is gone. El is back. Everything is okay now.

Then Will finds a letter under Jonathan's bed, and things don't feel very okay anymore.”

Will took another bite of cereal, watching blankly as his mother dashed about, trying to collect both her things and herself and failing miserably. "God, I'm late-" She tugged on her other shoe and blindly grabbed her keys off the hook. "Ok, I think that's everything." She kissed Will's forehead quickly. She always did that now. It was nice. Kinda made him feel like a kid, and he had to scrunch his nose up out of principal, but it was nice. "Can you remind Jonathan to go grocery shopping later? We're running out of milk."

Will lifted his dry spoon in a kind of salute. "Out of it, actually. And yeah. He's still asleep, I think," he added. Joyce's forehead wrinkled.

"He's been sleeping a lot," she said, in a way that was offhand for her but mildly concerned for anybody less neurotic. Will shrugged.

"I mean, it's break, so…" he took another bite to get out of the conversation. Jonathan's sleep schedule wasn't exactly a riveting topic. Joyce just sighed and went for the door again, though she aborted her movement halfway there and turned again.

"Oh, the uh…" she snapped her fingers. "The shelves. For your room. I got them yesterday. Last night, I guess. But they're waiting to be put up- I asked Jonathan to put them somewhere? I think they're under his bed or something. In the closet, maybe. You can do that, if you want."

He didn't have enough room for all his stuff anymore. Plus, Dustin had given him all his X-Men comics ("You deserve them. And I come over all the time anyway, so it's not like I can't read them whenever.") and that was, like, the coolest gesture ever, but it just exacerbated the problem. The new shelves were more exciting than they really had any right to be, but Will didn't bother tamping down his grin. Maybe some good old fashioned hammer and nails would fix him up. Fix this crazy empty feeling inside him.

The scar from the poker burned, and he shoveled more cereal into his mouth, gesturing to the door. Joyce kissed his forehead again, laughing as he swatted her away, before darting out for work. Will finished his cereal in relative silence.

Did he have to wait for Jonathan to wake up to dig through his room? Courtesy said yes, but like… you didn't have to be courteous with your brother, right? That wasn't a thing. You could totally dig through your brother's room without his permission. In fact, Will decided, it was probably encouraged in the Younger Sibling Handbook. He left his bowl in the sink to deal with later.

The floor creaked under his feet as he crept into Jonathan's room, and he froze for a moment. His brother was tangled up in his sheets, half-dangling off the bed, and Will snickered to himself. Jonathan mumbled something, but he always talked in his sleep, so Will paid it no mind. He tried the closet first. A bust- nothing but too many flannels and four of the same Pink Floyd t-shirt crumpled on the floor. Will closed the door as quietly as he could, rolling his eyes. Jesus, this guy.

He crept over to the bed, resisting the urge to kick Jonathan's hand where it was dangling at knee height. He muttered something in his sleep again and Will mumbled his own mocking gibberish back with a grin. He flopped down onto his stomach carefully. The underneath of Jonathan's bed was dusty as hell, was his first impression, and also had way too much shit. He picked up a stray paper and squinted at it. A math worksheet dated November '79? Seriously? It wasn't even done. (Will's hand brushed over a mixtape that had "fuck you, dad" scrawled on the front, and thought maybe he didn't want to snoop through this shit after all.)

The shelves were shoved up next to some boxes. Will wriggled them, trying to shove them out from under the bed, but they were wedged in tightly, and he had to brace himself against the slats of the frame with one hand and force his toes in the tiny space next to box, using his other foot to awkwardly push the shelves out. He moved slowly- Jonathan would probably flip out if he woke up to Will half under his bed with, apparently, seventy percent of everything he'd ever owned. After several anxious, creeping minutes, he finally pushed them all the way out, cheering silently. His shoulder ached like hell, though. He should've just waited until the asshole woke up.

Will went to wriggle out from under the bed himself, but something caught his eye. There was a flash of white in the slats- a piece of paper? He frowned.

I definitely shouldn't, he told himself. But the curiosity poked him sharply- like a poker, and his side burned- and he crammed his fingers between the wood and the mattress, tugging it out. It was just a piece of notebook paper folded over itself. His name was scrawled on the front.

Will army-crawled backwards until he could sit up, leaning against the side of the bed. He pushed away Jonathan's hand as it dangled in his face and earned a mumbled, "Not the gun," in return. Will gave his brother a weird look. Some kinda dream, huh? He flipped the paper over in his hands a few times, frowning. Was it for him? If it was, why was it stuck under Jonathan's bed? It was a bit too late to put it back, he reasoned, and it was labeled very clearly for him. So he didn't feel too guilty unfolding it. (Not too guilty. Just a little bit guilty. He'd let Jonathan pick the movie next time they watched one.)

Will,

It was a letter. His frown deepened. The penmanship was shaky, like it had been jotted down quickly. Jonathan's handwriting was neat; he wrote every letter like he meant it, like it had to be perfect. Will always rolled his eyes about it, and Jonathan just said it paid to be clear.

I really don't know why I'm bothering to write this. I don't have anyone else to write to, I guess? Which is dumb. It's so dumb. It's bullshit. Everything in this town is bullshit, though.

I miss you. So much. And you would be so annoyed if I said that, because you're okay and you're fine and you just want me to leave you alone, but I miss you. I know you feel like we're treating you like a kid. I'm sorry.

Will glanced up awkwardly at his brother's sleeping face, suddenly feeling like he was invading his privacy. Maybe he really shouldn't be reading this. Maybe he should fold it back up and-

I have to let it go. I know that. That's what everyone's telling me. I mean, not directly. But everyone else is coping, is moving on, and I'm just… I don't know. I feel like I changed, but I guess not that much, huh? Still the same guy. Still just not coping and calling it okay. Still your weird older brother, except now I can't seem to leave you alone. It's like everytime you leave the room, I get this kind of sick feeling, like maybe it's not over. Maybe it's not even real. Maybe I'm still asleep and Mom is still fighting with Dad about your funeral in the living room. Maybe I'm about to wake up and find that you're not here, that you never came back, that they didn't find you.

But they found you. So I should be okay now.

Will twisted slightly, curling up, and let Jonathan's hand graze his knee. Jonathan shifted in his sleep. Mumbled something that sounded like, "Steve." Will snorted before he could help it.

Even Nancy is coping, and I know she's the one that deserves to be like this. I mean, fuck, she lost her best friend. At least you came back.

You're not really you anymore. And that makes sense. That place was awful. Was hell, really. But you're different now. And it's selfish, it's really selfish, but sometimes I just want the old you back. I want everything to be the way I used to be. And obviously that will never happen and at least you came back and I should be okay by now, but everything is so fucked up and I don't know how to deal with it. I wish I had gone to the Upside Down for you. I wish I'd gone. I wish you were happy. I wish Mom was happy. I wish I was happy. I wish Nancy was happy. I wish I didn't feel like I failed you. I wish it hadn't all been my fault in the first place. I wish you would talk to me. I wish I were dead.

Will had to set it down for a second, his heart hammering. He wasn't meant to be reading this. He knew he wasn't. But it wasn't fair to Jonathan if he put this back. If he ignored it. He read the last line again and had to set it down a second time.

I wish I were dead.

None of this was fair.

The scar from the poker burned.

I can't eat. It makes me sick. Makes me think about how you spent all that time without food. Makes me think about how there's a whole other world out that and it took my little brother and he spent all that time without food and now he gets dizzy just walking to the couch sometimes. Makes me think how my little brother wouldn't have had to go through that if I hadn't taken that stupid second shift. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Will glared at the hand right in front of him, trying to pretend his vision wasn't blurry. "'S'not your fault, jerk," he muttered. He blinked rapidly. "Don't-" he shook his head. This was from a while ago, right? Things had probably gotten better. Things had to have gotten better.

Can't sleep either. Never was good at it, but it's worse now. I keep dreaming about the funeral. I don't want to dream about the funeral. I don't want to dream. The other night I woke up from a nightmare and I went to check on you because I had to check on you because I don't want to think about you being dead and you were also having a nightmare and I almost just shriveled up and died right there because I wish I could help you but I can't even help myself. Even Mom is starting to notice. Keeps telling me to eat more. She's never noticed how much I eat.

I don't really know why I'm writing this, I guess. But I miss you, kid. And sometimes that feels really shitty, because hey. At least you came back. I wish I had gone. I wish I had gone and I DIDN'T come back. I think everything would be easier that way. But I can't seem to leave you alone, so I can't leave now. Even if you want me to leave you alone sometimes, I think I'd get too distracted worrying about you to die. I guess you dying is saving my life. Poetic or whatever.

No it's not. It's fucked up. I'm sorry. I hope you're okay soon. I hope we're all okay soon. I love you, kid.

-Jonathan

Will's chest felt empty. He knew there was something underneath it, something dark and repulsive and cold that was crawling up to choke him, but it just felt so dark, so hollow, like a hole had been punched all the way through his torso. He drew in a breath that came as a whine. Jonathan shifted in his sleep again, mumbling, "Will, no," and he bolted out of the room without conscious thought.

I forgot the shelves, he thought hazily, but his stomach rolled sharply, and he hunched over the sink, retching. His head was spinning. The paper had crumpled in his hand, he noticed distantly, crushed against the ceramic he was clutching. He sank to his knees with another whining noise, clutching at the letter. He felt sick. He felt empty. He felt like punching a wall or something, but his hands were shaking and he didn't know how to throw a punch anyway, so he just sat on the bathroom floor and tried to collapse in on himself as best he could, fill up the space that had been taken out of him.

I hope we're all okay soon, his mind echoed. He choked back a sobbing, hysterical kind of laugh. Yeah. He hoped they were okay soon. Was this supposed to be okay? Was he supposed to be okay by now?

"Will?" Fuck. "Shit, Will-" There were arms around him suddenly, and he let out a real sob this time, crawling into his brother's hug. Jonathan held him tightly, murmured stuff he couldn't really make out but that made him bury his face in Jonathan's shoulder, like he could hide from everything wrong in their lives if he just clung on tight enough. Maybe he could, he thought feverishly, selfishly. Maybe Jonathan could make everything better. Maybe he could just say that he was okay and Will was okay and everything would go back to normal.

But if things were going to go back to normal, Will wouldn't be crying on the bathroom floor. So he squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to stop thinking about it instead.

"It's okay," Jonathan was saying, his hand stroking Will's hair. His voice was steady. His hand was steady. He was there. "It's okay, Will. You're okay. I've got you, buddy. You're gonna be okay."

Will burrowed deeper into his brother's hug and tried to steady his breathing. Steady, like Jonathan. Jonathan was there. They were okay. Things were okay now.

He found his voice once the tears had run out. It was buried somewhere in his chest, weak and broken, and he had to tug it harshly from under the mess inside himself to make any noise. "I'm sorry," he managed, almost silently. Jonathan hushed him.

"Don't be sorry. It's okay." He sounded so sure of it. Will shifted back to rub his eyes. The crumpled paper pressed into his cheek where he was still gripping it, and he wrinkled his nose, sniffling.

Jonathan had gone very still.

The steady hands fell away after a moment. "What's that?" Will shoved it in his pocket. "Will?"

He glared at the floor. "I was just looking for my shelves," he muttered, and Jonathan took a long, deep kind of breath. He snuck a glance up at him. "Are you mad?" Jonathan shook his head. His lips were pressed together tightly, though, and Will ducked his head again.

They were silent for a while, just sitting there, but Will wriggled his way back into a loose hug and he could breathe steady. Jonathan's chin was propped on his head, and normally he hated that. He didn't like feeling small. He didn't feel small right now, though. He just felt protected. Held.

"Are you okay now?" he finally asked, and got another one of those long, deep breaths in return.

It took a minute to get actual words. "I'm better," Jonathan said, and hugged him tighter. "I don't know if anything's ever gonna be okay. But I'm better." Better was good enough. Will was better too now.

The poker scar buzzed slightly, but he just let out a long, deep breath of his own and let his brother hold him. "Will you help me put my new shelves up?"

"Of course. Maybe you're better with a hammer than last time we built something," Jonathan teased, and he just laughed, and his chest felt warm enough that the buzzing in his side went away.

"Yeah. I'm better now."

He was steady. That was good enough.

[neshabeingchildish]

Determined: A Chasper Fic Conclusion

Second half of the chapter is extremely kid heavy. I feel like those actually reading this know how I am about kids and writing kids into these things. Alas, we’ve reached the end of this journey. Thank you to all those who stuck with it. I know this fandom isn’t a long story fandom and I apologize that I keep doing this to y’all. But, finally, the end is here.

Happy, Healthy Endings for All

Henry pulled up to the gate of “the estate” and when he was going to push the button on the little box, heard a beep and a voice say, “Henry Hart, Access Granted,” before he had the chance to do so. 

“They’ve most likely programmed it to scan your car… or your DNA,” Piper commented with a shrug of her shoulders. 

“How rich are our friends these days?” Henry wondered.

“Well, Charlotte is a genius who works with tech and DNA stuff, so she might have done it herself, but if not, Jasper is literally the highest paid executive coach in the country as of last year,” Piper said. 

“I honestly thought for a while that Jasper made that career up and I still don’t even know what that means!” Henry chimed. 

“He tells big bosses how to be better bosses and writes books to help little bosses become big bosses, if they have enough money to do so.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand HOW, either. Like… Who looked at Jasper and decided that he knew this stuff? Is he good at it, or just one of those people who got lucky and gets paid a lot?”

“The companies that he helps have better stats after he’s done helping them reevaluate their model. He’s gonna get one of those Netflix deals, I think. To get his own show where he basically goes in there and you see a few of his projects. He writes books, does speaking engagements, invests his money, and is kind of even helping Charlotte to try to branch out on her own. He just… is good at what he does. But, I mean… Jasper’s kind of been this way. Remember whenever he was doing his vlog and podcast and he’d get all these places and fans sending him stuff? He has a knack for smoothing people over. I think if somebody is confident enough, people are willing to at least hear them out and when he got his foot in the door that way, he owned it.”

“Are you… giving Jasper compliments?”

“No. I’m telling you nice things about Jasper. Did you ever see his “How to be a Good Man to a Difficult Woman” series on his channel? He’s got some very good life skills, when he takes the time to think about it and not just blurts stuff out.”

“Wait. He had a…” He stopped speaking whenever he got closer to the house and the yard, which had a very enormous playground, off to the side like… almost like a park and a huge garden on the other side, with like… what his mind could only seem to think of as a “tiny neighborhood” beside them. “Did this come with the house?” Henry wondered.

“Nope. Jasper had it commissioned. Sat down with the kids and got their ideas, worked on some designs, spoke with his architect, and voila.”

“Why are there so many little houses here when the big house is huge?” 

“That you’ll have to ask them.”

.

Jasper was giving directions to the crew that he had working on this event, which Henry could tell were frat boys who probably knew him as an alumnus and wanted to make good with him. He could hardly believe that his Craig used to be one of those guys. He’d be meeting them later on, because he had some work emergency and insisted that Henry go on without him.

Whenever the Hart siblings walked up, Jasper dismissed the crew and came to hug them. “Hey! Glad you two could actually make it! I think this is your first time coming to the estate at all, so what do you think, finally seeing it in person?” (That was more to Henry, because Piper saw it before, even if it was only in the beginning.)

“What is this property, Dude?” Henry asked, marvelling around.

Jasper smiled proudly, “Well, the site where Charlotte will be opening her center after her hospital fellowship is in this area, so I wanted to make sure that we had a house near here. I can work from anywhere. Still unsure if we want to fully transition out of the old house, since so much of the kids’ memories are there, and Char’s still got a few years before she’ll even be opening the practice, but they’re all still young enough where you set up enough fun stuff and they don’t even know what their previous memories were. I don’t really want to rent it out and have anybody mess up any of the sentimental stuff, but we’ll probably have it for AirBNB for a while or something. Haven’t decided.” 

“What are all these little houses, Dude?” Henry asked, pointing at a few.

“Oh, that’s Jazz’s treehouse, up in the tree, and Amber’s dollhouse, Ruby’s funhouse and the baby playhouse for the new baby. It’s like a little kiddo community for them, and all of them have their dream playground in the community “backyard.” On the other side is Charlotte’s she shed, which is one of my birthday gifts to her���”

“It’s like… the size of a regular house,” Henry pointed out. 

“We’re on our fourth kid. Locking herself in the bathroom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, even in a house as big as our last one, or even as big as the new house,” he said, so casually, that it almost made sense to Henry for them to have a whole other goddamn house a few feet away from their ridiculously huge house! “And her garden is like her front yard, then there’s the three dog houses. The kids want a puppy, so we’ll be getting another one, and already are making room for them. The Kiddo community and the Doggo community right across the way from each other. Charlotte’s she shed and her home lab on either side of the big house.” He was pointing at everything. “Took YEARS to get it just perfect and I figured since the timeline was so close, that instead of doing the whole housewarming thing that we’ve done in the past that we’d just throw Charlotte’s 30th Birthday party here and get showing off the property and showering her in love all over with in one event. Plus, Diamond is coming ANY day now, so by the time we’ve got them coming home, there won’t be time for socializing between getting them nursed, Char’s fellowship, getting doctors and scientists and stuff for the clinic, lab, and the spaces in the center, and…” he shrugged. Henry noted that Jasper looked the happiest that he had ever seen him. Like, everything in his life was perfect. He hoped Charlotte was feeling the same. He had been super busy at work. Springtime was very hectic for weddings and his busiest summer was right around the corner. Plus, he had a man now, and was still a Swellview hero.

“So, you decided on Diamond, huh?” Piper asked. “Just keeping the whole crystals/stones thing going?” 

“After Jasper, who was of course just named for me, we went with birthstones. Wanted to have their names be closer connected to Jasper’s than ours or something else. Amber was better than Citrine or Topaz…” 

“Those are mine,” Henry said proudly to Piper. “November.”

Piper rolled her eyes. Jasper hadn’t stopped, “Ruby is my fellow Leo, and even though that’s typically considered a girl’s name, Ruby is thought of as King of gems, so we rationalized that it was  gender neutral and that if it wasn’t, we’d just have someone with a name that was as rare as the gem itself… you know, if they turned out to be a boy.”

“Ruby is actually a turning out to be a nuisance. They’re my favorite of all of your bad ass kids,” Piper said.

Instead of arguing that they weren’t bad kids (They weren’t, just very free kids). “I call them “Rascal,” Jasper said. “I don’t understand how they get into everything that they get into at 1. Jazz and Amber Reign at least waited until they were in the terrible 2s to begin their shenanigans. I think that they’re gonna be a genius, like Char. She was doing a lot at 1 too, I’m told...” 

Almost as if on cue, they heard Charlotte yelling, “Andro! Ruby Andromeda Dunlop!” the three looked up to see a barely walking 1 year old running quite haphazardly, holding something that appeared to be a food item tightly in their grip, laughing all the way, with a very pregnant mother chasing after them, running as haphazardly with all of that belly to lug around. 

Piper and Henry both cackled at the sight, but Jasper darted over and snatched up the baby and took the food from them. Charlotte caught up, caught her breath and explained, “I swear, I put it down for a split second to adjust my nursing pad and they grabbed it and ran!” Breathing still a little winded, she said, “Hey, Henry. Piper,” and retrieved her Danish. “I know that the party hasn’t started, but somebody made me miss breakfast,” she said pointing at Ruby. Piper reached for the baby and they went to her willingly. “And they go to Piper before they come to me… The person with the titty milk!”

“Because, I influence them to be the most them that they can be.”

“You can have them, at this rate,” Charlotte said. 

Jasper laughed, “She didn’t mean that. She can’t legally give them away. They’re half mine.”

“Where’s their bling?” Charlotte wondered, finishing off her pastry. “They’re family. They’ll need it for the family photo shoot, not that it’ll be very elegant, considering that Dunlop children are magnets for calamity.”

“It’s covered, Babe. Go sit down. You look like you’ve been through hell.” She frowned. “Beautiful, though!”

“Shut up,” she muttered, waddling back to where her seat was. 

The Dunlops were dressed in all white and diamonds (or you know, knock off crystals for the kids) for Charlotte’s 30th Birthday Diamond Ball. 

Jazz had selected to wear “whatever Daddy is wearing,” so they had a smaller version of his white, suit with opaque floral embroidery and crystal embellishments. They also already had their pants rolled up to the knees and had taken their mass of curls out of the neat braided bun that Charlotte had painstakingly put it into this morning. Fortunately, she’d had the foresight to make sure that they did the immediate family photo shoot before everything else. Charlotte noticed on the way back to her seat that Jazz had also taken their shoes and socks off. They were literally untamed before the party even began. She smiled and waved at them and they waved back, “Hey, Mommy! You look like a queen!”

“If you’re not gonna wear your fancy shoes, at least throw on your sneakers so you don’t hurt your feet on something!” Charlotte called back.

“I’ve got some in the treehouse!” They rushed to the tree, electing to climb the rope, instead of the ladder to retrieve sneakers. 

“You raised them to be independent,” Charlotte said. “Carefree Black child. Literally carefree. They don’t care ‘bout nothing.” 

At least Amber was still put together. They had wanted to wear a princess gown. “It’s a ball! I gotta wear a princess gown!” They insisted. They only had Disney ones in their collection and they needed white, so Charlotte asked them what gown they wanted a white version of. “All of them.”

“You can only wear one to Mommy’s birthday party, though.”

“What about Daddy’s birthday?”

“Daddy’s gonna have a grown man friends party for his birthday. We’re not gonna go to that. Maybe just have some cake at home earlier that day, and sure, you can have a gown for that, if you want.”

“What about my birthday?”

“Sure. For your birthday, you can definitely wear a white gown, but which one do you want for Mommy’s party?”

Amber laughed and placed a hand on Charlotte’s hand, like a little adult. “No, Mommy. For my birthday, I need all the gowns. White. Also… all of them, in yellow.” 

Charlotte smiled and said through her teeth, “Okay. Of course, it’s your birthday and Daddy has literally never told any of you ‘no,’ so I’m sure that we’ll be fulfilling that order. Now, you wanna tell Mommy what white gown you’ll wear to her ball?”

“Hmmm. Well, I think Tiana’s, but white. And I need to add a bustle, so I can dance with a prince, or Daddy if there’s only commoners.”

“Where did you learn the word bustle?” Charlotte whispered, making notes.

“Where did they learn the word “commoners?” Jasper wondered.

They instead made Amber a white Tiana gown that was short in the front, kind of like Char’s wedding dress, and a sparkly pair of white leggings, so that Amber wouldn’t protest too much to the lack of a bustle. Charlotte still didn’t know where they got that word from. But, passing by them on the swingset near their dollhouse, they were still dressed like she dressed them this morning, in their shoes and all.

Ruby being one, was the easiest to dress. Charlotte threw a white romper on them and a sunhat and they were the cutest kid in the world. Keeping it white and them out of trouble though? That was a task for somebody else today.

Charlotte’s twinkling maternity gown and updo made her look elegant enough for the party, but between her tiredness, hot flashes, being hungry A LOT, and rushing to the bathroom so much, she was lowkey miserable. She didn’t want to do a big thing for this birthday, being so close to her due date and this having been the most taxing pregnancy she had gone through, but Jasper seemed so excited about it and once the kids were in the mix with picking outfits and such, she felt obligated. 

He planned it for the weekend before her actual birthday, because the next weekend (a few days after her birthday) was around the due date. It was SO CLOSE. Their birthdays would be even closer together than hers and Jazz’s, which was at the beginning of the month and had been celebrated by unveiling the playground in the yard. Which was so extravagant, in Charlotte’s opinion. But, they had made sure to get a lot of land specifically TO BE extravagant, if they wanted to. 

Besides, Jasper paid for all of that, and what was she gonna do? Tell that man what he could and couldn’t do with his hard earned money? Jasper had always been extra, and now he could afford to be.

Jazz wanted a jungle gym. Amber wanted a carousel, and Jasper filled in a lot of the rest of it with stuff that he thought would be fun for them. She wondered if he wasn’t having some sort of early midlife crisis for a while, because he was extremely diligent on making this property perfect. But, that was because it would be their “Forever home” and he could pass it down from Dunlop to Dunlop for as long as they held it dear. “They’ve gotta hold it dear. It’s gotta be perfect. It’s my legacy.”

Watching him handle it was one of the ways she wound up pregnant again before he could have the chance to have a procedure. That man was simply too virile! And there was something about seeing him so passionately make plans and prep for their children’s futures that there was nothing sexier in the world than him in those moments. They scheduled his procedure after she realized that another Dunlop was on the way. Not that she had anything against her other 3 children, but four was twice what she initially saw for herself.

Charlotte LOVED being a mom. It was some of the best highlights of her life. She never would have expected to love it so much, but she absolutely did, aside from the pain of labor, her suffering was generally minimal. (Mainly, because she knew all of the rules medically, and she was able to figure out any necessary changes that she needed to make in her routine whenever her body called for it. 

She also loved the idea of helping other people safely become moms, especially with the somehow increasing number of fatalities in Black women attempting to do so. So, whenever she finished medical school, her residency and fellowship, she finally was confident and prepared enough to open her own center. 

She would be working as a medical biochemist, specializing in genetics for infants and childrens’ care. The site had an OBGYN, a pediatrician, a gynecologist, and a fertility specialist, when they started out. She wanted to make another option for women who might not get the proper care in other facilities, as well as options for  the babies and children that they had. Also, to help those who wanted to have children and had issues preventing them from doing so. 

Instead of having several doctors who are not associated in the building and renting from some leaseholder, she owned the building, would work from the lab with a team she selected, to avoid the disrespect and distrust at her previous lab, and found specialists that she was interested in, bringing what she valued most to the place. 

Having other Black female doctors around was also quite refreshing, for all of them and she made sure to include an onsite daycare with personally vetted childcare providers. Because she knew that she wasn’t the only working mommy and that was important to her, as well. (This was a separate place from the pediatric playroom), because that was for the potentially sick kids. She even involved the doctors and scientists that she would have there in the development process, as a bit of an interview situation. (They didn’t work for her, but she wanted the vision to work for everyone, and to find people who were on the same accord).

They called it A New Page Childcare Center, and Charlotte had never been happier in her life, as far as her work life went, as she was after getting it off of the ground. She was saving lives again, but doing it with a collective of like-minded professionals who respected and liked each other and worked well together. She could be here until she was ready to retire! Finally! She had not only found her calling, but she was able to build up something to follow it through, and she was able to see her children more throughout all of it.

Plus, even when helping a client through a strenuous process of tests and seeking out solutions or researching new ideas in genetics, she controlled her schedule and therefore was able to do things at this point in her life with Jasper and the kids that she felt guilty about not being able to do before, like family vacations and events. Henry and Craig FINALLY tied the knot shortly after Hen turned 33, and it was her center that they came to when seeking out a surrogate. 

At the center, they were able to speak with a surrogacy agent, because by that time, the center had grown to include an agency for surrogacy and one for adoption. By finding all these childcare specialists and providers and making room for them in her property, it was easy for people to explore all of these options in one place, and there were frequently workshops on site available for training in doula and midwife work, becoming foster parents, and NUMEROUS paid internships in every single one of the areas in the place. 

Now, most of these ideas she came up with, in tandem with Jasper during pillow talk. She knew if he knew how to do one thing, it would be to tell her truthfully how to have a fulfilling workspace. She just had never thought that she would be able to put all of these professions and occupations in one space. Whenever he would say, “Why don’t you just find one and get them in your building?” she would immediately think, I can’t do that! But now, she wasn’t even sure WHY she ever thought that she couldn’t do it! 

She guessed it sounded like too much. She guessed that it would be too hard to maintain rules, regulations, etc… But, Jasper pointed out, “But, they don’t work for you. As long as they can pay you to be in that space, it's an advantage to you all to have sources nearby to suggest. If fertility isn’t working out, your fertility specialist can suggest going to, you know… the fourth floor for a surrogate or the fifth floor for the adoption agency, etc. That way, they don’t have to look around, which would be additional stress and sometimes, you may be able to have a representative from the office of their next step come to speak with them and build rapport in that moment where they’ve lost a little bit a hope, to meet and reassure them that the last step was only another stepping stone and assure them that they will give their all to this particular leg of the journey.” There was always a brilliant idea coming out of him! She loved that man so much, more and more all of the time. 

.

The various talks that had to be had with them were generally successful. Having two socially conscious parents, they were going to get lessons about everything whenever they either were about to go out into the world on their own (school and such) or for more heavy topics, whenever they seemed to want to know. Of course, first and foremost was the way that people outside might perceive and treat them.

Jazz looked almost just like Charlotte, but with a different curl pattern. Her hair mostly grew down, but it was poofy enough that it fluffed out at the sides. It gave her just enough “other” for people to ask her “Black, and what else?” but, if she had it up or something, nobody even bothered. 

Amber was the only one that was really “light skinned,” but she always got a little browner in the summer. Her hair was curly like Jasper’s when he was a kid and it didn’t grow down, but out, so she had a huge curly fro.

Jazz said that Ruby was her mini… like she wasn’t cut from the very same cloth as Charlotte. Ruby had hair like Charlotte’s and similar features. Slightly less brown, but definitely darker than Amber. She looked even more like Charlotte, because they had similar mannerisms and the same face and hair. 

Diamond was only a couple of shades darker than Amber, but she had more of Jasper’s features than the others, who were basically molds of Charlotte with the slight differences mentioned, and her eyes were light colored. Well, they were somewhere between a hazel and a chestnut. Jasper insisted that she had his mom’s eyes. Charlotte just denied it on principle. She lowkey did have Pansy’s eyes and was really the only one that could “pass for a Dunlop,” according to some of the comments Charlotte had overheard and seen on posts before Jasper blocked somebody. People sometimes joked with Jasper to ask him if he was sure those were all his kids, but they quickly retracted these jokes, whenever they noted his face or body language. When Jazz was little, he’d be more likely to kick someone’s ass over it. By the time Amber came, it was asked less, but when it was brought up, Jazz was singled out! She “didn’t look mixed enough” someone said, in that way that he could tell they felt like they were just being honest. She looked just like her mother, if she had wavy hair!! And… what did people think that he was going to presume that they were suggesting about his wife when they asked him shit like that or made a funny little comment.

His mother made that mistake years ago. “I just don’t see any part of you in that one,” she said, opting to try to pick up Amber as she nudged her forehead towards Jazz. Amber hid behind her older sister. Something about Pansy made her nervous. The woman sighed and tacked on, “I don’t think it would hurt to get them DNA tested, just in case…”

And he told her, “If you hadn’t given me life, I would sock you in the mouth for that.” (Jasper never made threats like that at her and she was shook). 

“I was kidding! She’s just way darker than I thought she should be,” she had said about Jazz (which was PRIOR to Jazz identifying as a girl and ALSO made him upset that she called them a she), but Pansy had come out of that. They kept some distance between themselves and her until she had to seek them out and agree to the proper language and appropriate treatment. Then, Jasper monitored every time she was around for a long time before her and Charlotte were comfortable enough (and the kids were comfortable enough) for her to be allowed to spend time with them by herself.

She was a much better grandmother than she had been a mom, and he came to realize that a lot of people were weird about the fact that 3 out of 4 of his biracial kids didn’t quote unquote “really look biracial,” so they wanted to tell the girls about it whenever it was time for Jazz to go to her private school. Jasper wanted them in public school. There was one not too far from the house and it was considered when he bought it. But, they compromised that the kids could go to a private head start, maybe public elementary, and then Charlotte insisted on the private school when they got into junior high. But, after head start, all of Jazz’s friends were going to private school and she wanted to go, as well. Jasper wondered if Charlotte knew this would happen when she made that deal with him. She simply smirked in response.

“What the fuck is biracial?” Jazz had asked whenever the race talk came up. Charlotte threw her head back and Jazz winced, “Sorry, Mom.” She honestly never let go of the word, since she was 2 years old. But, she also had just presumed that since half of her family was different shades of brown and the other half were lesser shades of brown that other people had families that were just all kinds of browns and lesser browns, even those lesser brown people she knew from pre-k. 

Realizing that Uncle Henry and Uncle Craig were not going to be able to come together and simply make brown cousins or lesser brown cousins was like a shock to her system. They had to grow a baby somewhere else and try to pick somebody that would have some similar traits. Then, learning that people might be meaner to her because she was a darker brown than Daddy was alarming, to say the least, and that even more people might treat her differently because of her private areas that they couldn’t even see? She was scandalized and horrified. But… she said that sounded like it meant that girls were tougher than boys and she was “tough enough to be a girl.”

“It’s not really a matter of toughness. It’s more like what you feel like you are, inside. And it doesn’t have to be a girl, or even a boy. You might feel like something else that you don’t quite have the words for, and we’ll help you find the right words, if that’s the case or maybe even you’ll have new words for us that are more catered to who you feel like you are inside.” Charlotte said.

“Well, I don’t not feel like a girl. I feel like a girl who is strong and brave. Whatever that is is my gender. I don’t care. It’s never mattered before. I just am scared of the people out there that might try to treat me like I’m a Black girl. (I am, but… that’s scary stuff, Mom.”

“We’ll protect you as much as we can,” Jasper said.

“I have literally seen your father punch more than a few people for treating mommy some kind of way,” Charlotte admitted. Jasper’s face showed he had zero regrets about those choices.

“Don’t worry Dad. I have a mean right hook,” Jazz said. 

“Damn right you do. That’s that Dunlop Dumb Drop!” And with just that, the kid gestured for a double high five and they growled in each others faces and started barking. 

Charlotte, feeling left out said, “I have some drops too.”

Both of them looked at her and burst into crying laughter. “Mom, please, do not do this to me!” Jazz said as Jasper wiped his eyes from actually crying laughing about it. “Oh, you oughtta end all these talks like that. Who can feel worried when you’ve got this shining sense of humor.” 

Charlotte folded her arms, but couldn’t help but to laugh, in spite of herself of the fact that her young child thought it hilarious that she could drop somebody. “I never said with my fists, Kid. I’m a scientist and a doctor. I know at least one hundred ways to drop somebody without ever touching them. A lot of them, untraceable.” She threw a look at Jasper, who immediately stopped laughing. 

“Well, that’s just terrifying,” Jazz admitted. 

Charlotte winked, “Only for my enemies.” 

Now, Jazz offered her double high fives and said, “Friends for life!” 

Amber was concerned about things, but mostly about partnership. Why, at her age? They didn’t know, but they just answered her questions when they arose. “So. IF I AM a girl, feel like a girl, like things that the world says is for girls, but I also LIKE girls. Like, REALLY like girls, like - like them, you understand… can I still be a girl?”

“If you think you are, yes.”

“But, the world says that girls like boys, right? I hate boys. They’re smelly and unkind. They never like to wear pretty dresses that would be gorgeous on them. They hit you and say it’s because they like you, so if you want to hit them back, you don’t want to, because you don’t want them to think you like them, a stupid boy!”

Jasper balled his fists, “Who the hell hit you?” 

“Daddy, don’t get mad. Since hitting means boys like you, I didn’t hit him back, so he wouldn’t think I like him. Instead, I put mud in his sandwich when everybody was at recess.” She smiled proudly.

“Well, I’m glad that you got him back. But, next time, just hit him. Nobody gets to put their hands on you and if they really liked you, they wouldn’t. Also, who was it?”

“Are you gonna go punch the kid, Jasper?” Charlotte asked.

“I MIGHT!”

Charlotte changed the subject. “Not all boys are like that, but if you just don’t like boys, that’s still fine. You can like whoever you like.”

“I like girls.”

“Cool. Uncle Henry is a boy who likes a boy, Uncle Craig. And Uncle Jake and Uncle Ray…”

She looked frustrated, “Do only boys get to like boys in the world?” They’d already warned her that people are mean to girls, was not being able to like like other girls part of that meanness?

“No! Everybody gets to like whoever they like and sometimes the world is mean about it, but sometimes the world is nice.”

“The world better be nice to me, because there’s plenty of dirt out there for me to put on their sandwiches.”

Jasper whispered, “She’s terrifying, like you.”

“If by that you mean that she’s brilliant, thank you,” Charlotte whispered back and kissed him briefly.

“Hi. Could you not? I don’t really want to have to see boys and girls kiss in my own home,” Amber said, inciting cackles from both of them.

Ruby didn’t care either way. Whenever they told her all these things, they said they didn’t have questions, were undecided on if they knew what their gender was and didn’t care about racist people because, “I have a big, strong dad, a mom that can kill people quietly, an older sister who fights people and one that pees in people’s colas. I think that I’m well protected.”

Jasper and Charlotte were nodding, presuming that they probably had talked to their sisters about this before, but both stopped at “pees in people’s colas” and said, “Wait, what?” Ruby tilted their head, acting like they had no idea what they were asking about.

“I have nothing further,” Ruby said. They kept the “their/them” pronouns throughout life. It just seemed like a lot to them, to sit there and think and decide who they felt like when their upbringing didn’t place any value on gender roles. But, they were also fine with whatever pronouns someone else used for them. It didn’t really matter. 

Henry retired from hero life at 50. 

The Dunlop kids and the Hart kids got together to plan a Semi-Centennial celebration for their parents, instead of calling in a joint birthday celebration. A lot of things were happening within a few years’ time. Jasper and Charlotte being married for 25 years, Jazz becoming a professional athlete, Amber getting engaged to her college sweetheart, Ruby graduating from high school at the top of their class, JUST like their mom and going into an entire new wave of technology that fascinated Charlotte, and Diamond going into high school, and the fact that Uncle Henry was getting ready to “settle peacefully from everything else” and focus on H<3art Eyes until his official retirement… so retiring from Captain Danger so that he could have at least some good years in the wedding shop with his kids and husband, just living his life. 

His Dad and Ray had bought a boat a while back, which they mostly lived on, did some traveling in and also continued to enjoy perks such as the old Man Copter, which Ray basically just redecorated and put a cheesy postcard like caricature of the two of them on the side of it. The same for the RV that Jake brought, for whenever they wanted to travel on land. They were both retired and had no small kids. Ray never told Jake about Captain Man. The Hart kids agreed that he just COULDN'T have that information. It didn’t matter, anyway. They had been working well for about 20 years at that point. Neither chose to get married, but what they had was pretty undeniable. 

The child advocate in Charlotte Ambrosia Dunlop got with Schwoz years prior to come up with a way to keep Swellview safe from the villain threats without training children to work as heroes until they couldn’t. It was a solution that they sort of came to simultaneously, and Schwoz was very upset that he hadn’t really considered it before… Clone generation. Recreating a Captain Man and Captain Danger clone and having the Man Cave computer know just how and when they would need to be replenished! Charlotte didn’t want Schwoz to have to stay there, being the brain behind the thing, so she convinced him to make a Safe Halley, to control it all and to simply keep access to it, if something went wrong, one of them could go sort it out if they had to. But, they didn’t. They never had to again, and Swellview was still quite safe.

.

Charlotte, Jasper, Henry, Piper, Ray, and Schwoz sit on the patio, looking at the view of the sunsetting on the mountains during their annual Man Fam Getaway… “Our life was stupid crazy. I wouldn’t change a thing,” Charlotte said and everybody heard her and they all agreed.

*** The End***

[t0m0kii]

1-99

you think this is a game anon? you send in 1-99 i’m gonna do 1-99 so HERE WE H*CKING GO

“1) Sexuality?”

bi! even tho i’m not attracted to many boys (and i actually only seriously like one) i still consider myself to be a groovy bisexual

“2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?”

any of the monkees! but also paul mccartney!

“3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.”

here’s an excerpt from the nearest book, ‘‘the everything reading music book’‘: “The terms measure and bar can be used in place of one another - they mean the same thing.” very educational!

“4) What do you think about most?”

it’s probably pathetic but i probably think about story concepts the most! either that or monkees stuff but sometimes they can be the same thing

“5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?”

my latest text is from my dude sean a.k.a joj-n-ringo who said that he sent me loads of asks about nwa but somehow i didn’t get any of them 

“6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?”

always with! sleeping naked is weird and plus i hate my body and don’t wanna look at it SKJALKJAKLHDKSJLKN

“7) What’s your strangest talent?”

i dunno! i don’t really have any weird talents!

“8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)”

girls…are neat! boys…are also neat!

“9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?”

no one’s ever written me a song but i’ve had friends write me poems before! it’s nice and i love it

“10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?”

hm……when’s the last time i listened to joe walsh’s life’s been good……………probably then!

“11) Do you have any strange phobias?”

i don’t know if it counts as a phobia but i get really bothered when i see shirtless pics of people and their ribs are visible like idk what it is but eeeee i don’t like it

“12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?”

not that i can remember, lmao

“13) What’s your religion?”

i’m not like a diehard religion fanatic but i was raised christian and still sorta stand by it yknow

“14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?”

looking at the area around me, even if i’ve seen the place a thousand times, i’m always just lookin around lmao

“15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?”

it depends! mostly i like being in front tho jdhbkjfhdjfls

“16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?”

the monkees! those four idiots have my whole heart

“17) What was the last lie you told?”

my mom asked me if i did my homework yesterday and i lied and said i did it at school BUT I DID DO MOST OF IT THERE SO WHEN I BROUGHT IT HOME I DIDN’T HAVE A LOT TO DO

“18) Do you believe in karma?”

i guess so! what goes around comes around i’d suppose

“19) What does your URL mean?”

it’s named somewhat after my favorite anime character tomoko kuroki bc i love her and she’s a big mood

“20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?”

i think my greatest weakness would be that i jump to conclusions without any reason yknow but i think my biggest strength would be either my writing abilities or my ability to sorta see through people and see exactly what type of person they are

“21) Who is your celebrity crush?”

davy jones !!!!!! i love him so much !!!!!!!!!!

“22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?”

hELL NO i would never i’m way too modest for that sjsklaskjdkbfnj

“23) How do you vent your anger?”

usually i talk to someone about it who’d understand but sometimes when i don’t want to bug anyone i just scribble it all down

“24) Do you have a collection of anything?”i have a record collection! and a cd and tape collection, i mostly just collect music stuff kshsjlbsjk

“25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?”

i don’t really like either but i prefer talking on the phone!

“26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?”

not entirely

“27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?”

i hate the sound of babies screaming like i don’t hate children but uGH it kills my ears and a sound i love is the sound of tambourines! i love those lil things they do a good noise

“28) What’s your biggest “what if”?”

what if it’s all for nothing (this could apply to several things)

“29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?”

i dunno about aliens but i think there are ghosts! i’d love to be friends with a ghost like. imagine

“30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.”

with my right i touch my phone first! and with my left i touch my 3ds 

“31) Smell the air. What do you smell?”

it smells like……………………………..air

“32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?”

i dunno i’ve never really been anywhere super terrible 

“33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?”

uhhh east?

“34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?”

DAVY JONES OF COURSEEEEE

“35) To you, what is the meaning of life?”

to give it meaning

“36) Define Art.”

art is whatever you make it tbh, something that inspires

“37) Do you believe in luck?”

i guess! even tho i have the worst luck ever

“38) What’s the weather like right now?”

cold and windy it SUCKS

“39) What time is it?”

at the time of writing this answer it’s 8:37 pm!

“40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?”

i’m too young to drive so i’ve never done it bsjhklskjdvbfjdsk

“41) What was the last book you read?”

i admit i write more than i read but i believe the last time i read a book was yesterday when i was reading one of my how-to-read-sheet-music books from the library

“42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?”

i can tolerate it but i wouldn’t want to sit and smell it for hours

“43) Do you have any nicknames?”

not really! if you gave me one that’d be neat

“44) What was the last movie you saw?”

last time i watched a movie was when i rewatched the beatles movie ‘‘help!’‘ it’s a rlly good movie i love it

“45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?”

uh once i broke my arm in kindergarten but i think that’d be it

“46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?”

like in a net? no but i’d really like tooooo i think it’d be neat

“47) Do you have any obsessions right now?”

MONKEESSSSSS I’VE BEEN HYPERFIXING ON THE MONKEES FOR NEARLY A YEAR NOW I JUST LOVE THOSE FOUR DUMBASSES ESPECIALLY THE SHORT ONE THAT TALKS FUNNY

“48) What’s your sexual orientation?”

i’m a girl! born a girl and i have stayed a girl since. wild

“49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?”

not that i know of sjhskdksl is that a good thing??

“50) Do you believe in magic?”

perhaps it’s out there and someone’s just keeping it to themselves WHICH WOULD SUCK BC GIVE ME SOME MAGIC YOU FUCK

“51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?”

i forgive but never forget

“52) What is your astrological sign?”

since i was born on november 8th i’d be a scorpio!

“53) Do you save money or spend it?”

i’m terrible at saving money but i’m a wiz at spending it

“54) What’s the last thing you purchased?”

my monkees shirt! i love that thing even tho it was 90 dollars on etsy but lemme tell ya it’s 90 dollars well spent

“55) Love or lust?”

love !!!!!!!!!!

“56) In a relationship?”

in my daydream universe i’m the lovely intelligent wife of davy jones but in reality i’m a lonely bitch skjfhdsjflsj;fdkk

“57) How many relationships have you had?”

i had a boyfriend for a week in kindergarten but only because he recognized me from sunday school and i’ve never had a relationship since

“58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?”

no and i can’t believe people can do that but some people can’t like HUH

“59) Where were you yesterday?”

i wasn’t anywhere near the crime scene officer i swear

“60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?”

on my desk next to my coaster is my pink rubber bracelet with a peter tork quote on it! and that’s not very far away so it counts!

“61) Are you wearing socks right now?”

the only time i’m not wearing socks is when i’m in the shower so yes

“62) What’s your favorite animal?”

the red panda !!!! i love those funky little dudes !!!!!!!

“63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?”

i really would not know my dude i mean just being myself i guess?? bold of you to assume people like me

“64) Where is your best friend?”

probably at their house being the greatest best friend ever

“65) Spit or swallow?(;”

i think when you’re brushing your teeth you literally have to spit you can’t just swallow that shit what the fuck if i find someone who does that i’ll ascend

“66) What is your heritage?”

i don’t really know! i mean i’m about as white as a piece of paper so

“67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?”

i told you before officer i wasn’t out doing illegal actions ((nah but seriously i was watching youtube i think))

“68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?”

bofa

“69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?”

honestly i never remember where my bus stop is i always just look out the window and see my house and i’m like oh shit time to skidaddle so i mostly rely on the bus driver for that. thanks bus driver

((yeah))

“70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?”

i think being friends with me would be alright maybe!

“71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?”

man fuck that guy i’m saving that fuckin dog then i’ll just show up with the dog and everyone will think it’s so cute that i won’t get fired. problem solved!

“72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?”

i guess everyone would already know but i’d finish everything i’d need to like writing projects and stuff, i’d make sure i’d do everything i need to before i had to die 

“73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.”

where there’s trust there’s love so trust!

“74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?”

looking for the good times by the monkees never fails to make me smile! i just love davy a lot

“75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?”

7644! 

“76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?”

a good relationship starts with a good friendship yknow. you have to be able to love and appreciate the person you’re with and accept them the way they are and not try to change them too much. and it also sorta all relies on trust. if you can trust who you’re with, you’re good to go. and if you feel like you’re unable to call them out when they do wrong or if they do/say something really bad and you just let it slide then that’s not good in a relationship i’d say

“77) How can I win your heart?”

be nice

“78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?”

maybe just a small, small amount but not a lot

“79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?”

deciding to listen to the monkees tbh bc !!! i love em !!!! have i mentioned this !!!!

“80) What size shoes do you wear?”

like size 11 or somethin like that

“81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?”

“bury me shallow because i’ll be back”

“82) What is your favorite word?”

my favorite word would probably be “lovely” bc it’s so fuckin !! good !!!!!!!

“83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.”

i always hear the word in davy’s voice and the way he says it LKDSLSKS he goes “h a h t” it’s cute

“84) What is a saying you say a lot?”

“it be like that sometimes”

“85) What’s the last song you listened to?”

everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears! listening to it as i answer this actually

“86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?”

blue! really any shade of blue but especially light blue!

“87) What is your current desktop picture?”

i’ve said monkees too many times in this post but. them

“88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?”

the president bc he sucks

“89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?”

if someone outside of the internet asked if i were gay i think i’d be a little scared to answer bc yknow my whole family is homophobic and all that and sometimes you never can tell who is and who isn’t

“90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?”

introduce myself bc even if i’m scared i’m not about to be impolite

“91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?”

time travel !!!! they call me TIME TRAVELING PRODUCE AISLE 

“92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?”

maybe a half hour of my first concert! it was a blast

“93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?”

developing depression

“94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?”

DAVY FUCKIN JONES but would we still see eachother afterwards is the question

“95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?”

manchester, england !!!!!!! i really want to go and i actually kinda wanna move there someday

“96) Do you have any relatives in jail?”

not that i know of i sure hope not lmao

“97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?”

once a long time ago

“98) Ever been on a plane?”

never bc my mom is super scared of heights and scared of planes and tbh i kinda don’t really like planes i prefer boats

“99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?”

i’d say listen to papa gene’s blues by the monkees and listen to mike nesmith go “yeeeeeehawwwww !!!!!!”

this took me an hour thanks anon

[izukillme-moved]

*cracks knuckles before typing* Here we go: Fic/Drabble anything that you are comfortable with. 1. First of all, Jelray (because Jelray): “It doesn't matter if we can't describe it–we both feel this way.” (taken from a Tumblr prompt) 2. Gratsu: “And that is why I come to you over everyone else. That is why you are my boyfriend.” I can and WILL give more since I am bubbling up with ideas and at the same time can't save myself by writing them since I'll probably ruin it.

Okay, so here it is! I’ll edit and post the Gratsu later because I really wanna post this aah!!

The first time Gray sees Jellal Fernandes, he knows he isdone for.

He meets Jellal through Lyon. Jellal works at the library Lyonfrequents every so often when he feels he’s thumbed through his book collectiontoo many to pick up one from it. When Gray’s local library closes down, as atired college student (read tired corpse), he is obligated to go to this‘amazing library’ that Lyon describes as having a really good selection ofnovels, research books, magazines and whatnot.

The instant Gray lays eyes upon Jellal, he knows exactlywhat that evil glint in Lyon’s eyes was.

Damn it all! hecurses the silver-haired devil that is his older sibling.

For once, for once,he thought his brother would be nice and kind and show him to a library wherethere are no stunningly hot boys to distract Gray, he thought he could ignorethe look on Lyon’s face, passing it off as his usual smug smirk, but no. Lyon’s not that nice, and Grayshould know that by now.

Jellal is tall, half an inch taller than even Gray himself. He’sgot natural blue hair – now Gray wouldbe sceptical, but one of his ex-boyfriends and current best friend has naturalbright pink hair, so yeah - and a strange red tattoo working its way down theright side of his face. Oh, and did Gray mention that Jellal has the mostbeautiful, kindest brown eyes that seem to hold the entire universe in them,constellations, asteroids and all? His smile is like the sun, and it lights up Gray’sworld every time Jellal so much as looks at him.

In short, this boy is perfect, and Gray does not knowwhether to kill or thank Lyon for this gift from the heavens.

He decides to hold off on both, preferring to maintain thathe is in no way interested in how pretty Jellal is, or how his brown eyessparkle just so when the light hits them.

–

“Ugh!” Gray grunts as he searches through the racks for a book;he knows he saw it here yesterday. itcan’t have gone, there aren’t many people who even know who Stephen Hawking or RichardFeynman or Michael Faraday are, let alone like their –

“Are you looking for TheDreams That Stuff Is Made Of?” a kind voice comes from behind him.

Gray turns around, almost losing his balance, and issurprised to see Jellal, a small blush on his cheeks, holding in his hands the verybook Gray has been wanting for so, so long.

“Yes, oh my god,” he says in surprise, reaching out to takeit. “How did you-”

“Not many people like this book, it’s been checked out exactlythree times,” says Jellal, hand scratching his neck. He gives a small chuckle,and Gray knows that he would pay good money to just listen to that one sound forthe rest of his life. “I love physics, and I thought I would try it,”

Gray’s jaw drops. “Me too,” he says. “It’s so interesting!”

“You really think so?” Jellal’s pretty eyes widen, and hesmiles. “That’s awesome. We should talk sometime. I guess you know my namebecause it’s on my card,” here he laughs a little, and it sounds like the pealof bells in heaven, “but I never caught yours,”

“Gray,” Gray says, breathless. “I’m Gray Fullbuster.”

Jellal smiles in amazement. “no way. Ultear’s littlebrother?”

“You know Ul?” Gray questions in surprise.

“Yeah. She’s my best friend’s girlfriend,” grins Jellal.

“Wait, what?!” Gray leaps up. “You’re Erza Scarlet’s best friend? You’re that Jellal? The one she just won’t shut up about, the guy who tookcare of her till her real family located her? I should have known, Jellal isn’ta common name,”

“Yup,” Jellal says with a proud smile. “Erza’s mentioned youa couple of times to me. There was a lot of winking and suggestive smilinginvolved,” he says thoughtfully. “She has a tendency to act really weird attimes.”

Gray blushes to the tips of his ears and looks away. Heknows exactly what Erza means whenshe looks like that.

“Anyway, I should be getting back to work.” Jellal says witha little smile, handing the book out to Gray. “It was nice meeting you, GrayFullbuster!” And he runs off.

Gray stares after Jellal’s retreating back, the spot wherehis fingers brushed against Jellal’s burning oddly.

Damn it all, he curseshimself. Damn you, Jellal Fernandes.

–

It has been exactly three months, sixteen days, ten hoursand forty-five seconds since Gray met Jellal.

Not like he’s counting, of course. Certainly not.

Not like he wheedled out Jellal’s birthday (Jellal did thesame, he might add) and wrote it into his phone calendar – it’s the fourteenthof November – so he can wish the guy a happy birthday.

Not like he likes him.No, not at all.

Jellal now regularly makes it a point to say a hello to Grayand ask him how he’s doing every time he drops by.

(Which is becoming more and more frequent. Of course, Grayrefuses to admit that it’s for Jellal – he stubbornly maintains that it’s becausethe books at his own local library aren’t enough for him anymore, but even he struggles to believe that nowadays.)

Gray makes it a point to blush a little and stammer out, “Thanks.I’m doing okay, how about you?”

And then Jellal will inevitably launch into a story aboutErza’s friend Millianna and her cats – “terrible, nasty creatures,”, Jellal rants– a story Gray would have heard from Erza not an hour before, but he findshimself listening avidly, hanging off of every word that comes out of Jellal’s mouth.

“And then – and then the stupid thing nearly ripped apart asweater I’d been working on for almost a month,”Jellal yells exasperatedly, clutching fistfuls of his pretty blue hair. “I’m makingit for someone really special, see, and I can’t afford any more expensive yarn!”

“I didn’t know you knitted,” says Gray. He really didn’t –but it isn’t that surprising. Jellal is the kind of guy who seems like he likesknitting, and baking cookies, and all that sort of grandmotherly thing.

What is surprising is that Jellal is poor. His polite, cultureddemeanour and excellent grooming wouldn’t tell you that. But, well, it shouldn’tbe so surprising – Gray himself comes from a large business family, and is currentlystudying to be its next head, but you can’t tell by looking at the scruffy messhe is. Gray almost offers to buy Jellal some more yarn just in case, but biteshis tongue. It might come across as very rude.

“Not many people do,” Jellal says with a little smile. “Ifeel like I can tell you anything, though.”

Gray’s breath hitches.

“Y – yeah,” he says nervously. “Yeah, sure.”

–

It’s ten am on the fourteenth of November, and Gray standsoutside the library, chewing his lip, holding the little wrapped gift in hishand.

Should he be doing this?

Probably not.

Is it a thing that friends do for each other?

Are he and Jellal even friends?

Shut up, me.

Gray takes a breath in and pushes the doors open. It’s toolate now – he can’t turn back, and he won’t.

I’m going to do this.

He walks in and sees none other than Jellal, lifting a cupcaketo his mouth to take a bite. Gray can tell it’s strawberry on instinct, knowingwhat kind of cake Erza likes to give her friends on their birthdays. It has alittle number twenty on it, and Gray smiles a bit – that’s cute of her. He knowsshe baked it herself.

“Hey,” Gray greets.

“Gray?” Jellal sets his cake down. “Hi! How are you doingtoday?”

Gray shoves the gift at him and attempts to smile. “Happybirthday.”

Jellal gasps. “You remembered?”

Gray shifts in place. “Well, yeah? Is that a question?”

“No, but-” he pulls the wrapper open, long fingers carefulnot to tear it. It’s cute how he is so meticulous about it.

Friends can be thought of as cute. They can, Gray insists to himself.

He is brought out of his thoughts as Jellal gasps, eyes flyingwide open. He stares disbelievingly at the brand-new (second-generation, butGray feared buying the new fourth-generation one would be going overboard) iPodTouch in his palm.

“Gray – I can’t accept this-” he begins, pushing it backtowards him. “It must have cost you a fortune, how even-”

Gray cuts him off with a slight blush. “It’s not a problem. Youmentioned you like Linkin Park. It has all their albums except The Hunting Partybecause you don’t like that one. What are friends for, stupid? Just accept thegift.”

Jellal looks in awe at the iPod. “Thank you, Gray, but-” Heputs it back in Gray’s hands.

“Jellal, take it. It’s really not a problem. Trust me.” Graysays firmly, closing Jellal’s fingers around the touchscreen device. “Theearphones are in the case, too,” he adds, pointing at the neat little pile ofwrapper on the desk. “Try it out – I hear the sound quality is amazing.”

Jellal stares at him unsurely. “Gray-”

Gray grabs the box with a roll of his eyes, pulls out theearphones, plugs them into the iPod and shoves one into Jellal’s ear.

“Pick a song,” he whispers, putting the other one into hisown ear.

Jellal hesitates, but turns the iPod on, shuffling throughthe song list. He stops and smiles at one name, then presses the ‘start’ button.

Gray’s eyes widen as the first bars of his favourite songbegin to play in his ears.

“Castle of Glass,” he realises.

“’Cause I’m only a crackin this castle of glass,” Jellal sings along. He has the voice of an angelas well.

They spend some time listening to all Jellal’s favouritesongs – which happen to be Gray’s as well. Iridescentis a particular hit with the both of them.

“So let it go, let it go,” hums Jellal.

(If he’s being completely honest, Gray is more listening to Jellalsing along in bliss than anything.)

And they stay like that for a long while, until Gray realiseshe has to meet Lucy for their English project. They’re assigned partners, andshe’ll kill him if he’s late.

“Jellal, I have to go. I’m meeting a friend for a project, I’mreally sorry!” he says with a bow of apology.

Jellal’s eyes widen. “Don’t you dare apologise, you’ve givenme the best gift you could,” he says vehemently. “I – I can’t thank you enough.”

Gray smiles a little awkwardly and runs out of the librarywith a “You’re welcome!”.

Jellal Fernandes has himso screwed.

–

Fast forward to the twenty-fifth of December, Christmas.

And also, Gray’s nineteenth birthday.

Gray grins as his cousin Juvia whirls him around one last timebefore going off to dance with her girlfriends, Levy and Mirajane. “See you!”he calls after her, and she turns back to shoot him a smirk.

“Waiting on someone?” Erza asks, sidling up next to him witha suggestive smile. “Someone by the name of Jellal Fernandes?”

“No,” Gray says. “And that wasn’t subtle at all, Erza.”

“Mm, I know.” Erza grins. “But dense idiots like the two ofyou don’t get subtlety, so…”

“I invited him, but he said he might be a bit busy.” Graysays hastily. “Said not to wait on him. So that’s exactly what I’m not doing.”

“Would be a shame,” says a familiar voice from behind him.

Gray turns in shock to see Jellal, holding a lumpy wrappedpresent in his arms. The wrapping has flying reindeer and a little Santa on it –it must be old Christmas paper, but it’s the effort that counts, and Gray can’tstop a small smile from painting itself onto his face. He’s excited, he realises, something he hasn’tbeen all night – happy, yes, for his closest family is here, but not excited.

“You came,” Gray breathes. Erza has slipped off to god knowswhere, but Gray is glad she isn’t here, to be honest.

Jellal laughs. “Took me a while. Nice place you got here. I seenow why the iPod wasn’t a problem.”

And the way he says it, so light-hearted and friendly unlikea lot of others, warms Gray’s heart.

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

Jellal looks a little ashamed of himself, handing the giftto Gray. “It’s not cool, like anything you’re probably used to,” he says uncomfortably.“But, well, this is the most I could do. Sorry.”

Gray rolls his eyes and takes the gift. “It’s fine – it’sreally nice of you to even get me a gift, Jellal,” he says.

Gray holds the lumpy package tentatively. It is soft and pillow-like,and he can almost guess what’s inside. He takes his time to unwrap it,unwinding each piece of cheap Sellotape slowly and carefully.

Once he is done, a beautiful cream sweater spills into hisarms. Gray kneels and puts the wrapper on the floor, holding up the lovelyknitted article of clothing. It has an exquisitely detailed snowflake, in varyingshades of blue – is that silk – in thecentre, and two simple bands of the same blue silk near the wrists andneckline. It’s knitted even better than most of the luxury brands you’d see instores, and Gray clutches the fabric to his chest. It must be custom-made – it’s absolutely beautiful, and Gray wants toput it on immediately.

“This must have cost you so much-” he says in shock. “It’sgot to be custom-made, you wouldn’t see anything so amazing in a store-”

Jellal shakes his head with a smile. “I knit, remember?”

Gray’s jaw drops, and he recalls a certain conversationbetween himself and Jellal.

“And then – and then the stupid thing nearly ripped apart asweater I’d been working on for almost a month,”he’d ranted, and then explained why it was so important.

“I’m making it for someone really special, see,”

That special someone…

Was him.

Gray shakes his head.

“You went to all that trouble, spent money on real, actualsilk – for me?!” he says in utterdisbelief.

Jellal rubs his head. “It wasn’t that much trouble,” he answers.“Really, Gray, it’s not much at all,”

“Shut up,” Graysays, staring at the masterpiece in his hands. “I’m wearing this right now.”

And to prove his point, he shucks off the suit jacket he’sbeen wearing all night and slips into the cosy comfort of the sweater instead. Itfeels even more amazing than it looks, and Gray lets out a sigh of pleasure.

Jellal stares at him, and Gray cannot fathom why until –

“God, I can’t take this anymore,” he breathes, and suddenlyhis hands are on Gray’s hips, pulling him closer, and then he smashes his mouthinto Gray’s.

Gray makes an ‘Mmph!’noise at first, startled by the sudden kiss, but soon melts into it, kissingback with equal vigour. Jellal’s hands trace Gray’s hips, coming up to rest inhis hair, and Gray’s hands draw patterns on his back, pulling him closer,closer, closer till there is no room between them anymore.

The kiss is soft and sweet and loving and fiery andpassionate all at the same time. Gray’s insides are on fire, and his heart isburning with something he cannot place.Sure, he’s been kissed, has kissed others before, but not like this. Never likethis.

“Shit,” he gasps when they finally break apart for air.

Jellal’s cheeks are red. His eyes are wide. His tattoo isalmost invisible with how much he’s blushing.

“I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have done that. I crossed a line. Ihave to go. I better go.” he gabbles and runs off.

“Jellal – wait!” Gray shouts, trying to chase after him,hand outstretched. But Jellal has melted into the huge crowds, and Gray cannot spothim anymore.

He sinks onto the floor, clutching fistfuls of his newsweater.

–

The next day, Gray marches into the library to see Jellal lookingsadly into a book – the same physics book, TheDreams That Stuff Is Made Of.

He walks straight up to the older boy and grabs his collar.

Jellal looks up in surprise. “Gray-” he begins.

“No,” Gray half-shouts. “I’m not letting you run away. It doesn’tmatter if you can’t describe it – we both feel this way. I’ve liked you fromthe minute I saw you. Your cuteness and your personality didn’t help matters.”

“I – what?” Jellal looks absolutely furious. “There is noway someone like you deserves someone like me. I’m not good enough. I bet youhated that kiss.”

“I don’t know how it felt – it was too short for me to tell.”Gray says. “Kiss me again and I’ll tell you exactly what I think.”

And he doesn’t wait for an answer, pulling Jellal’s body towardshis. Melding their lips.

The kiss is eternity itself to Gray, and when they finally resurfaceto breathe, he says in a daze, “That was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“What-”

“Go out with me, Jellal.” Gray’s daze is gone now. He leanshis elbows on the desk and stares into Jellal’s eyes. “Go out with me.”

“Okay.” Jellal mutters.

–

“And that is the story of how Gray and Jellal ended up gettingmarried like the idiots they are,” Erza announces proudly, lifting her glass. “Tothe grooms!”

They all drink, and the newlyweds share a shy glance.

Jellal places his palm over Gray’s.

He smiles, and Gray smiles back.

Meeting you was thebest thing that ever happened to me.

--

Hope you liked it!! I will be editing and adding the Gratsu soon enough, hopefully that doesn’t turn into a 3k thing like this did xD@tardisthroughthefandoms, you’d asked me to @you, so I did haha

[cassandra-acton]

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Cassandra Alice Acton.

Nickname: Cassie, Cass.

Birthday: November 8th, 1986.

Age: 31.

Gender: Female.

Place of Birth: Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.

Places Lived Since: London, United Kingdom.

Current Residence: Tower Hamlets, London, United Kingdom.

Nationality: British. 

Parents: Michael and Anita Acton (née Redgrave)

Grandparents: Edward Acton (grandfather, paternal, deceased) Renske van Ardenne (grandmother, paternal) Harold Redgrave (grandfather, maternal, deceased)  Hélène de Broglie (grandmother, maternal, deceased) 

Aunts & Uncles: Kathleen Acton-Fortescue (aunt, paternal) Charlotte, Georgina Redgrave (aunts, maternal) Lambert Redgrave (uncle, maternal)

Number of Siblings: One older sister, Elizabeth Acton.

Relationship With Family: To be honest, she doesn’t really have a relationship with anyone except Elizabeth, and her mother tainted it so much that even that one isn’t healthy. It’s a shame, really. As much as she knows she’s better off without them, she still misses her father, in particular. Cassie definitely envies people who are close to their parents.

Happiest Memory: When Harrison proposed to her, without a doubt. I’ll write about it someday. Getting her internship at Goldman is definitely second, though.

Childhood Trauma: I mean the parents definitely fucked her up for life, so there’s that.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5'4”

Weight: 120lbs.

Build: Slim but very fit.

Hair Color: Blonde.

Usual Hair Style: Whilst working, she almost always wears her hair up in a ponytail, but she hates it. Much prefers to have it down. Keeps it just a little longer than shoulder length because of her dislike of short hair. Is too lazy to style it beyond neatness unless she’s going somewhere.

Eye Color: Blue.

Glasses? Contacts?: Neither.

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): For work: neat, formal, and inexpensive. Lots of form-fitting skirts, blazers and blouses in blacks and whites. Out of work: a fuck load of jeans. Baggy jumpers and quirky shirts. Picks up a lot of her stuff from charity shops because who has time for fucking shopping.

Typical Style of Shoes: Cassie is never without heels. Prefers bright colours and eye-catching designs to contrast with her typically monochrome/ greyscale outfits during work. About the only part of her outfits she ever spends a decent amount of money on.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: The only piece of jewellery she constantly wears is her engagement ring, which she has on a chain around her neck. She has three tattoos. ‘Hip to be Square’ in tiny font on the inside of her right wrist, Harrison’s birthday on her left shoulder blade, and a matching tattoo she got with her friend, Jessica, back in school, on her right forearm. Each got a hand from The Creation of Adam. As for piercings, she has her left ear pierced twice, her right four times, as well as her bellybutton.

Scars: A thin scar that cuts through her right eyebrow; a result of a drunken night out in university during which one of her friends fell down the stairs, and dragged Cassie with her.

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: When she’s stressed, she has to play with her hair; pulling it, twisting it, whatever. It’s about the only good indicator she’s about to rip your face off because she will do that shit with a smile.

Athleticism: Very high. Cassandra naturally has a lot of energy, and so expends a lot of it keeping fit. Rowed competitively for LSE, and still competes regularly with many of the girls from her old crews, as well as having joined a new rowing club. She also plays a lot of rugby, though never competitively. Loves running and endurance, and almost always competes in the Tough Mudder when it’s nearby, as well as taking part in the London marathon annually. Also gets involved with a lot of charity races.

Health Problems/Illnesses: I think she seriously wavers into depression sometimes, though she’s far too proud to ever get it officially diagnosed. PCOS and all its friends, which is not a fun time. Does over attachment to her dog count? Definitely counts.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: MSc in Economics and Management from LSE. Cassie finds studying relaxing, however, and often self-teaches about subjects of interest in her free time. Currently, she is working on a course in Arab Finance.

Languages Spoken: English natively, Dutch fluently. French and Mandarin intermediate. Is determined to take up learning Arabic at a later date.

Level of Self-Esteem: Very low. It’s why she aggressively overcompensates with an arrogant attitude. Partly to convince herself, but mostly to convince others.

Gifts/Talents: Surprisingly, she’s actually a pretty good violinist.

Mathematical?: Definitely. It’s sort of her thing. 100% could get a job on Countdown.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Usually, emotions, though she tends to berate herself afterward, because she knows—especially given the career she has now chosen to pursue—that she needs to learn to be more logical.

Life Philosophy: Someone else is happy with less than what you have.

Religious Stance: Was raised Anglican, but isn’t particularly religious.

Cautious or Daring?: Absolutely daring. Naturally, she’s a spontaneous person, and I     don’t think being cautious really lends to that.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: Being told she’s not good enough. Being criticised when it comes to her work. Being compared to her sister. People bringing up what happened to Harrison. Terrorism in general.

Optimist or Pessimist?: In between, leaning slightly toward the pessimistic side.

Extrovert or Introvert?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: In a relationship with Adam Hassan, Shadow Health Secretary, and MP for Bethnal Green & Bow.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual.

Past Relationships: Before Adam, the only person she’d ever been in a real relationship with was Harrison. They on-off dated their whole young lives. They briefly broke up when he joined the army and she went to university because they were worried about ‘distance’ but wound up missing each other too much for it to be a permanent thing. Dated one guy briefly, Matt, a few years after his death, but it scared her so much it took her until Adam to try again.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: None.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: Not having moved on.

Ever Cheated?: No.

Been Cheated On: Not really. Unless you count that one time, by Harrison, when they were little kids. He kissed another girl on the playground because Cassie had been off school for a week. She pouted and promised she’d never date a boy ever again after that.

Level of Sexual Experience: Cassie’s slept with five people in her life, so limited-ish. Harrison, a brief fling during her first year of university, Matt, Silas, and Adam.

Story of First Kiss: His name was Richard and she only kissed him because all of the other girls wanted to.

Story of Loss of Virginity: The first time she and Harrison tried, they’d attempted to make it a ‘romantic evening’ that wound up being so awkward, they couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually, it happened spontaneously at a school social after party.

A Social Person?: Absolutely. Even though she needs some time to herself every now and again to process all the shit that’s going on in her life, she couldn’t go any extended time without her friends. Cassie has to be in a pretty bad place to cut herself of from people.

Most Comfortable Around: Jessica, and her old work friends at Goldman—they’re the people she’s closest to, and are still like a family to her.

Oldest Friend: Jessica Mirzoyan, a friend she grew up with in Oxford that now also lives in London. She can’t remember a time in her life when Jessica wasn’t in it, they’ve known each other for so long. Basically a sister to her.

How Does She Think Others Perceive Her?: Cassie has an incredibly skewed view of what people think of her. She automatically assumes people think the worst. Look at her like she’s not good enough, just like her mother always did. I think that’s why she keeps most people at arm’s length, because she’s so scared of letting someone in only for them to wind up criticizing her.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Her?: Depends who you ask. Amongst the public she’s very popular for her honesty. Amongst her colleagues back at Goldman she’s respected as a professional cutthroat. As for her critics, they probably just see her as a stuck up bitch.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: To help as many people through her political and charitable work as possible. That’s really all she cares about. Personal goals seem fairly irrelevant to her right now. 

Dreams: To be happy again would be rather nice.

Greatest Fears: Polystyrene and spiders. Why do either of those things exist?

Most Ashamed Of: How bitter losing Harrison has made her. How she still hasn’t been able to get over the anger and the hurt it left her with.

Secret Hobbies: Cassie kind of loves to knit? It’s a good stress reliever when she’s too tired to go running. Not that she’d admit to it, mind you. She’s also not very good. All she can make are the really simple scarves.

Crimes Committed (Was she caught? Charged?): None.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night owl. Begrudges being alive in the mornings.

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy sleeper.

Favorite Animal: Hedgehog.

Favorite Foods: Steak. Cheese and crackers. Orange jelly.

Least Favorite Food: Avocado.

Favorite Book: American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis.

Least Favorite Book: The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Favorite Movie: Burn After Reading. Gladiator. Mars Attacks!

Least Favorite Movie: Shitty horrors in general.

Favorite Song: Mr. Roboto – Styx. If you play that to her, she doesn’t just sing along, she fucking performs it, okay. (Honourable mentions for The Boys Are Back In Town – Thin Lizzy, and What Is Love – Haddaway.)

Favorite Sport: Rugby. Cassie can get pretty shouty about rugby and is a very dedicated Saracens fan.

Coffee or Tea?: Tea.

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Neither, thank you. That stuff is nasty.

Type of Car She Drives: A dark green Mini Cooper.

Lefty or Righty?: Lefty.

Favorite Color: Pink.

Cusser?: Pretty badly, although she does well to hold her tongue in public most of the time. Has had a few slip-ups that made the headlines. Luckily the general opinion was that it made her seem more normal, and it went down pretty well with voters, if not her critics.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Never used drugs. Occasionally smokes if she’s incredibly stressed and has been drinking. Drinks fairly regularly.

Biggest Regret: Letting her parents fuck her up so badly. Cassie wishes that she hadn’t taken it so much to heart, now that she knows better.

Pets: The love of her life, Brody the Corgi.

[worldwarshirt]

How did you feel when you put on your first pair of panties?

I’ve always been a bit of an OCD type when it comes to organizing things - not a neat freak, but putting things in alphabetical order, numerical order, or chronological order is usually a first step with me and that goes back to my first years in school. It may have helped introduce me to wearing panties. I was in 6th grade as I recall, and my sister, 3 years younger, got a package of panties for Christmas from an aunt that lived far away. As a result the panties were a size too big for my sister, she couldn’t exchange them, and my mom told her to save them for when she was bigger. My sister didn’t really want them because they were nylon and she liked only cotton. The only thing that caught my eye at first was that they were seven different colors whereas I was stuck with white, or white. Then I noticed that each panty had the day of the week on it! I thought that was a fantastic idea. I was going to use a fountain pen to write down the days of the week on my jockey shorts and fortunately, my mom stopped me before I might have stained all the clothes in her next load of white laundry. She told my sister that if she really didn’t want the panties, that they’d fit me and she’d buy my sister some of the cotton panties she liked to replace them. I loved them - my first experience in wearing anything that was nylon and I thought my sister was nuts for giving them up to wear plain white cotton. Of course I had to learn how to hand wash some of my new lingerie twice a week so that I didn’t run out. It would have been abominable to my OCD brain to wear a panty with the wrong day on it! https://teechip.com/rinch-jack-skellington-this-jolly-enough-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-stop-why-assshole-why-so-stupid-shirt https://teechip.com/i-licked-so-it-s-mine-unicorn-lollipop-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-sign-language-christmas-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-nurse-respiratory-therapist-vacation-shirt https://teechip.com/forget-glass-slippers-princess-hiking-boots-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-i-sorry-the-nice-nurse-on-vacation-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-like-help-you-but-i-just-fix-stupid-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-i-talk-about-you-in-sign-language-shirt https://teechip.com/e-flamingo-stay-balanced-by-your-flock-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-people-seriously-normal-from-me-shirt https://teechip.com/it-s-always-the-quiet-ones-jason-and-michael-shirt https://teechip.com/-just-dna-test-that-grinch-nurse-christmas-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-and-donald-duck-shirt https://teechip.com/-want-nurse-stupid-flamingo-halloween-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-and-unicorn-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-my-sister-but-youre-still-a-bitch-shirt https://teechip.com/frida-kahlo-we-can-do-it-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-and-scooby-doo-shirt https://teechip.com/stitch-ew-people-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-hallmark-christmas-movies-outside-shirt https://teechip.com/lamingos-behind-woman-who-made-her-way-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-and-pooh-piglet-shirt https://teechip.com/grinch-and-tom-cat-shirt https://teechip.com/lamingo-get-over-i-just-dramatic-first-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-i-sorry-nice-bus-driver-on-vacation-shirt https://teechip.com/orse-jan-feb-may-unicorn-born-november-shirt https://teechip.com/rinch-buckle-up-buttercup-i-have-anger-shirt https://teechip.com/-just-dna-test-turns-out-grinch-smile-shirt

http://worldwarshirt.blogspot.com/2019/10/how-did-you-feel-when-you-put-on-your.html

[thegrassisaalwaysgreener]

Viva Las Vegas 2017

**I didn’t realize that I hadn��t posted my blog from Vegas in Oct when I posted the Palm Springs one!

Oops!

Viva Las Vegas! I was super excited to head to Vegas for the first time. I was not as stoked to be going for a work conference but hey, a trip is a trip right! I had applied for some funding to head to the Pediatric Critical Care Conference put on by name and was approved! I was getting a bit of money for work to cover some of the expenses of the trip and was excited to use this as an excuse to head to “Sin City”.  I have plenty of travel points so figured I would save some money and book my flight on points (25,000 + 70$ in taxes) which worked out well. I would be flying with Air Canada which would get me more points and was a fairly decent airline.  The conference was 2.5 days long and I had decided to stay an extra day and a half to explore the city a bit more. I was pretty excited because my boyfriend Alex  was meeting me there for the last two days of the trip which would make it that much better! While I won’t go into too many boring details of the unimportant parts of the trip (like the conference.. kidding!) I will write a bit about the more fun events (Britney Spears DUH) and some of the must do/must see things if you haven’t been before!

Tuesday October 31st, 2017          I had a super hard time getting this shift off as many of my coworkers have kids and obviously wanted to take their kids out of Halloween but I managed to get the night off and was heading to Vegas on an evening flight. I found great prices on airport parking (airportreservations.com) where you get dropped off at the airline entrance and then you call when you land and they pick you up in your own car which is key. I as excited to use this service as I travel often for work and am always looking for the best/easies/most cost effective way to park at the airport. I was on an AC Rouge flight that had average service but was fine for the 4 or so hour flight. I landed in Vegas around 2200 or so and grabbed a Lyft to my hotel. The conference was at the Tropicana which is towards the end of the strip about a km away from the “Welcome to Vegas sign” and across from Excalibur. On the way there, I was immiediately entranced by all of the lights of the city. The driver was super kind and helpful and gave me some insider tips. The hotel was nice enough. The bottom levels were filled with people smoking, drinking and gambling, which is so bizarre to see inside. I did a bit of people watching before heading up to my room. . By the time I checked into the hotel and got unpacked, it was almost midnight and I was pooped! The room was quite spacious with a large bathroom and sitting area. I settled in and rested up before day 1 of the conference.

Wednesday November 1st, 2017            Like I previously mentioned, I won’t go into details about the conference since most people that would read this (if any one does) could care less about advances in Pediatric Critical Care. It is neat to note that a coworker of mine who works mostly in London was also at the conference with her coworkers. It was nice to have a familiar face to hang out with. We had a lengthy lunch break where I did some errands up the strip and met them for lunch at the food court in the MGM.  The afternoon of the conference went by super slowly. Or at least that’s how it felt because I was super excited to be seeing Britney spears in the evening. An ex-coworker of mine from Sinai had moved to Vegas a few years ago and was a huge Britney Fan! I told him I was heading down for the conference and we made plans to go see Britney. I was meeting him a bit before the concert but had a few hours to kill before then. I wandered up the strip taking in all the sights. I enjoyed a bevy (on the street which is so weird to me!) while watching the Bellagio fountains which are as magical as I was told. I met up with Liam just outside of Planet Hollywood where Britney has her residency. We grabbed a drink and caught up before the show- happy hour is even more magical in Vegas with $5 glasses of red. We were in the very front for the concert,  which I was super excited about. I have loved Britney since Hit me baby One more time was a hit. I had never seen her in concert when I was young so I was super pumped about having my younger year dreams come true. Before the concert, we looked at some of her old costumes that are on display in the theatre hall. It was really cool to see these famous outfits (and how tiny they are!) During the show, we made some friends and enjoyed some drinks in collector cups right in front of the stage while dancing and singing along.  While it is evident that she isn’t in her early 20s anymore, her show was amazing! She entertained us (as I doubt she actually sings any of the songs) to many of her songs from all of her albums. Her costumes were very elaborate and all of her dancers were very talented. After the show, I bid Liam adieu, grabbed some dinner and headed back to my hotel room.

Thursday November 2nd, 2017             Day 2 of the conference! Today we did some break out sessions which was neat because we got to choose the topics we learned about. The best lecture I went to was by ¬¬¬Scott DeBoer and was a jeopardy game about perils and pearls of Pediatric Emergency Medicine. For lunch, we jumped on the bus and went to a Ocean One Bar and Grille that had 4.99 lunch specials! IT was crazy. You could get pretty well anything you could think of for 4.99. We enjoyed our lunches while catching up on what sessions we went to in the am and such. Similar to the day before, the afternoon seemed to take forever. This was probably because I was super excited that Alex would be in the hotel by the time the conference was done for the day. After catching up, we headed out to enjoy Vegas at night before enjoying an AMAZING sushi dinner at Kabuto. It was a traditional meal that included hand made sushi that you ate the moment the chef was done rolling it. We had an an appetizer and sake along with a variety of sashimi and sushi pieces that were chosen by the sushi chef based on our preferences. We ate a lot of tuna. The meal was delicious and worth every penny.             We grabbed a Lyft back towards the main strip and enjoyed wandering around a few of the hotels. My favourites were the painted ceilings of the Venetian along with the beautiful flower displays in the Wynn. Alex loves the Aria complex and we spent a while enjoying the complex. We both love NYC (as evident in one of my last posts) so we spent quite some time wandering around New York New York before heading back to the hotel for the night.  On our way up to our room, we grabbed our fresh, warm  (and free!) cookies that are provided to each guest before Alex tried his luck on some slots. While I am not a bigger gambler, it is pretty neat to watch others gamble. I wish I knew how to play the card games better so I would enjoy it more.

Friday November 3rd, 2017           Today was the last day of the conference! Alex did some exploring and errand running while I spent the morning in the Conference. Of course it was the best breakfast (breakfast burritos) and they ran out by the time I got there! There wasn’t a ton of new learning this morning but it was still a great experience. I made my way to the Cosmo where we were having lunch. We had heard about the amazing buffet with bottomless drinks at the Wicked Spoon and were really looking forward to it. For  $50 each, we had 2 hours at the buffet with unlimited Mimosas, Bloody Marys and beers. The food was absolutely amazing. There were some very “gourmet” choices along with a wide variety of breakfast and lunch foods. We definitely ate way too much but were very glad we checked it out.          After being sufficiently stuffed, we wandered down the strip and checked out some of the hotels we hadn’t yet. We visited the Flamingoes at Flamingo and enjoyed the Bellagio Fountains again. I loved the botanical conservatory in the Bellagio! It was so beautiful! We wandered around the Park promenade before heading back to New York New York for the Zumanity Show! We knew we wanted to see a Cirque show but couldn’t decide which one. The gentleman said that while O! is super popular, his favourite was Zuamnity. We are pretty breezy and so though, hey why not! The show did not disappoint! It was pretty bizarre and almost raunchy at times but we both really enjoyed it. There was some awesome acrobatics and hilarious costumes.                                     If there is a sky wheel in a city, I HAVE to ride it! I love seeing cities from all different vantage points. I prefer to see the city at sunset or later since the lights usually make the city look that much more magical.  The High Roller is the largest observation wheel with 28 pods that can hold 40 passengers each. It is 550 feet tall. Alex and I were lucky enough to have the whole pod to ourselves which was super fun. The 30-minute or so ride was awesome and gave us the best view of the city. I took tons of photos (shocking!) of all of the amazing lights and colours of the city.  After the Wheel, we stopped and sat at one of the smaller fountains in the area and grabbed some pizza at Flour and Barley and a beer. 

Since we were heading home after our day trip tomorrow, we made sure to pack up and get prepped for a busy last day (and a very early morning!)

Saturday November 4th, 2017           After about 4 hours of sleep (so much to do, so little time), we were up bright and early to get picked up for our guided tour of the Grand Canyon. We were being picked up around 0600 en route to the Grand Canyon. We took a big tour bus filled with tourists ont his adventure because we figured it was easier than renting our own car. I think this is definitely something that can be done on your own and it allows for different stops along the way. We are glad we took the bus, since neither one of us felt much like driving several hours each way into the desert.          Our  tour guide took us onto Highway 93 and discussed info about the three main cities in the Valley and about the mountains all around us. Sadly, I slept the majority of the drive so didn’t really get a great deal of learning in . I did learn that a lot of the land in the desert (especially the Mojave) used to be ranches. We drove through Boulder City and over the Hoover Dam. We got a quick look of Lake Mead as well.  We also saw a few Joshua trees on the route which are pretty cool.           We took Route 66 and learned about Seligman (town that was the inspiration for the movie Cars) before stopping at the Rodeo Restaurant in William, Ariona. This was the home of the Grand Canyon Train. We enjoyed a decent buffet lunch. After a bit of stretching (sitting for hours on end in a bus is challenging!) We headed back into the bus for the final bit of driving before entering the Grand Canyon National Park.           As a bit of history, the Grand Canyon is a steep-sided canyon that is carved by the Colorado River. It is about at an elevation of about 800 m and is 446 km long, 29 km wide and 1,857 meters deep. It has been formed over millions of years from the  cutting down of the small branches of the Colorado river and the retreatment of the cliffs. The canyon sees about 5 million visitors per year with the majority seeing the South Rim (Which is what we did).  While we didn’t see much, there is a vast ecosystem in the Canyon and surrounding area. There are 5 of the 7 different life zones found in the Grand Canyon National park. The Park is home to many about 80 different mammals (most rodents and bats), 48 bird species and 41 reptile species. We did some birds but sadly, that was it.            When we arrived at the Grand Canyon, we took the typical photo in front of the sign before making our way on the 2.1 mile walk. I was really taken aback at how big and beautiful the canyon was! Photos and videos do not do it justice. It truly is breath taking. I think we (lets be real, I) took 300 photos that all looked the same! The different rock colours and layers are super neat! We caught a few glimpses of the Colorado river wayyy down below. We learned more about the history and geology of the park and the rocks. We spent a couple hours at the Canyon, wandering around the path. We checked out one of the hotels and its gift shop (of course) and grabbed our necessary magnets. We saw an ice cream store, so we grabbed a scoop and enjoyed the view. We hopped back on the bus a bit before sunset. We had quite the drive back but it was a beautiful one! We saw the sunset over the desert, which was just amazing! Dinner was tacos at this random (but delicious) stop on the way beside a gas station called _ We headed back towards the city which was an enjoyable ride. We didn’t stop at the Hoover Dam (which I was slightly disappointed about) but, we did get to see it and it was definitely way bigger than had thought.           We arrived back into the city in the late evening. Since we were dropped off at the hotel, we jumped in a Lyft to the airport. Both Alex and I were exhausted and I was less than thrilled with the security staff at the airport. I am not a new traveller but felt like I was being spoken to like a child, which is not something I enjoy (especially when I am tired and a bit cranky). After a rather lengthy security line, we made our way to the Maple Leaf lounge for some pre “Red Eye” showers, snacks and bevvys. Our flight home was uneventful (especially considering we both snoozed the majority of the way home).          My first trip to Vegas was definitely memorable! I think that we got a lot accomplished and saw the majority of the things that I wanted to see. There were still a few shows and hotels that I would like to check out the next time and would love to just have a hang-out by the pool day. All is all, I definitely see the allure of Vegas. I think if you are big into drinking/partying and gambling, it is the place for you however there is TONS to do for everyone. I think I could’ve walked up and down the strip for the days, checking out different hotel lobbies and attractions. The next time, I would ideally prefer to stay more in the middle of the strip but do think that the Tropicana was fine for how much time I spent in the hotel.

*again, photos are not in any specific order, not too sure how to fix that :(