#novokribirsk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marvelmusing · 1 year

Text

Longing

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Reader

Summary: After the events on the Fold, you hadn’t wanted to run away from Aleksander, but the choice was made for you. Now that he’s found you, the choice is all yours. (Sun Summoner!Reader)

Warnings [18+]: smut, unprotected sex, thigh riding, fingering, oral (male receiving), virgin!reader, sub!reader, slightly mean dom!Aleksander, degradation, praise kink, semi-public sex kinda? (corporalki in the hallway knows exactly what’s happening, the walls are thin as well), sir kink, smidge of bondage (his shadows), mentions of somnophilia, aftercare.

A/N: I feel like I haven’t written Aleksander smut in forever, so I’m sorry if this isn’t very good.

My Masterlist

You can still feel him.

Sometimes you wake feeling his hands over your face, squeezing at your throat, his lips on yours. Even as you lie beside Mal in whatever run-down room you could afford for the month, before moving onto the next town.

Why won’t you admit that part of you had wanted to belong to Aleksander? Why won’t you admit that a part of you still does? That the collar around your neck feels right, it’s weight now as familiar as your own heartbeat.

The day after your escape on the Fold was a blur, even now you can’t remember it. You hadn’t wanted to leave Ravka, you didn’t want to keep running away. From your destiny, your power, the responsibilities waiting for you.

You didn’t want to keep running away from Aleksander.

But by the time you snapped out of whatever daze had seized you after seeing Aleksander fall, you were on a ship, and there was no sight of land.

Everything had happened so fast.

Aleksander had taken control of your power, using the bond created by the collar to push the Fold forward, cutting Novokribirsk in half.

The gasps of horror from the people on the skiff, and even the screams of Ravkans being torn apart by volcra, had faded into the distance as a thrill ran up your spine.

Using your power had always felt good, Grisha theory states that a Grisha’s power is the most intimate part of themselves, the very depth of their soul.

To have Aleksander reach inside you and coax out such a fearsome display of power, it made you want to drop to your knees by his feet. You wanted him to pet your head as he committed more atrocities with your light.

When he had turned to you, your knees already wavering as your chest heaved heavy breaths, you know he could see it in your eyes.

Perhaps he had been surprised by it, perhaps he would have gripped the front of your kefta and urged you down onto your knees, demanding the submission you already wanted to give him.

But Mal had interrupted, fighting through the guards, shooting at Aleksander, which had broken whatever spell you had been under.

Ivan had stopped Mal from doing any damage, and your heart had ached at the sight of your oldest friend lying choking on his own blood.

You had pleaded with Aleksander, and he had ordered Ivan to relent.

From that moment onwards, things got worse.

A bunch of criminals from Ketterdam, the same ones that had tried to kidnap you, hijacked the skiff. One of them had managed to stab Aleksander through the chest, and some nights you lie awake tracing a line down the same spot over your own chest.

You can still remember the pain that had burst through your body, tears blurring your vision as if the knife had been plunged between your own ribs, causing you to collapse. Luckily, Aleksander had survived, healing himself with merzost.

Still dizzy from the ordeal, you had been too late to stop Mal from barrelling into Aleksander, sending them both overboard. You had rushed to the side, intending on protecting them both from the volcra with your light.

But standing up made you even more dizzy, and by the time you looked over the edge your vision was swimming once again and you fell to the deck of the skiff, unconscious.

When you came to, Mal was holding you in his arms and there was a sickening wrongness itching over your skin. Where was Aleksander?

Your entire body had ached frighteningly, and when you looked down at yourself you had been expecting to find blood given the amount of pain you were in. It felt as though you had been torn apart.

That was when the daze had clouded your mind, making you unable to focus on anything as Mal had bundled a cloak over your shoulders and you had somehow made your way to a ship at Os Kervo.

Despite your longing for Aleksander, and the miserable effects of the wasting sickness, living in Novyi Zem isn’t too bad. It’s warmer than Ravka, and you find comfort in blending in with the crowds.

The boarding house you’ve been staying at over the last week is one of the slightly more comfortable ones. There’s still only one narrow bed, and a single wash basin in the corner of the room. But the mattress isn’t moth eaten, and you haven’t seen any rats yet.

One particularly warm day, you’re walking back to the boarding house with Mal when something feels off. The landlord eyes the two of you even more contemptuously than usual, and you wonder what had put him in such a mood.

It’s once Mal opens the door to your room that you receive your answer.

Aleksander sits in the corner, shrouded in shadows of his own creation, like a king on his throne. His pale, nimble fingers drum casually over the arm of the chair.

Relief fills you. He came for you.

Mal reaches for his gun, but you’re quicker, seizing his wrist and shaking your head in a warning.

“The neighbours will hear a gunshot. We can’t get in trouble.” He holds your gaze for a moment, before he regards Aleksander suspiciously.

“How did you find us?” Mal snaps.

His anger is justified, all his cautiousness, telling you not to summon, hiding your collar, and look how it had paid off.

“You leave a rather expensive trail.” Aleksander remarks smoothly.

From his hand, a collection of golden hair pins scatter over the bedside table. Your idea had worked, Aleksander had found you. His eyes meet yours, and a shiver rolls through you.

Aleksander stands from the chair, stepping into the evening light as it passes through the dirty windows. A sharp inhale shudders in your throat, your eyes widening as you look over his face. Scars. Large black scars over his face.

“What happened?” You ask him, your voice a tiny whisper.

Aleksander’s brow lifts slightly.

“Your precious tracker didn’t tell you?” He smooths his hand over his face, tracing the edge of the largest scar. “A gift I earned on the Fold.” His eyes darken suddenly. “Amongst other things.”

Mal hadn’t told you anything about that day. He always went silent or moody whenever you mentioned Aleksander.

The man in question steps closer, and Mal tenses beside you, whether that be poised to attack or to flee you’re not sure. But you simply wait for Aleksander to come to you.

“How are you finding life in hiding?”

You don’t answer, knowing he will see the truth in your eyes no matter what you tell him.

He reaches out, tugging gently at one end of the scarf curled around your neck. Slowly, he urges it to come loose, revealing the bone collar he had placed there.

The scarf drops to the floor.

“It doesn’t suit you.”

“I actually quite like the scarf.”

The corner of his mouth twitches, ever so slightly, and something burns bright in his eyes.

His fingers curl around your collar, and a full body shudder takes hold of you as his amplification reaches deep down to the core of your being. For a second your eyes glaze over, and every inch of your body tingles with power and pleasure.

Then Mal steps forward.

“Get off her.”

Aleksander glances over at him, an unimpressed expression filling his features.

“I don’t think she will enjoy that.”

Nevertheless Aleksander releases you, a smirk on his lips as you struggle to suppress a whimper at the loss of contact.

Shaking your head slightly, you force yourself to focus.

“What do you want?” You ask him, watching as he sits back down in the chair.

“The room across the hall has been booked. The tracker stays there all night. You will stay with me.”

“And if I say no?” Mal challenges him.

Aleksander regards him with a bored expression.

“Ivan is posted in the hallway. The rest of my Grisha are in the boarding house across the street.” He tilts his head, smugness in his eyes as he continues, “Perhaps you should consider that before you make any rash decisions. Regardless of how characteristic it would be of you.”

Mal’s jaw tenses.

“And in the morning?” You ask. He surveys you for a long moment, amusement touching his features, as if you had just said something funny.

“I have one condition, which I will discuss with you tonight. If you fulfil it, I will allow you both to leave unharmed.”

Mal doesn’t look pleased. He shakes his head, but you turn to him.

“Please Mal. It’s just one night.”

“A lot can happen in a night.” He says tersely, staring over your shoulder at Aleksander.

“I’ll be fine.”

Mal finally looks at you. Then he sighs.

“Fine.”

He stares at Aleksander once again, before he opens the door and leaves. You hear his footsteps move across the hall, and the door to his room opening and closing.

Then silence.

You’re alone with Aleksander, for the first time since before you crossed the Fold. Despite your attempt at being brave, your voice wavers as you ask him,

“What’s your condition?”

He rests his chin in his hand, watching you intently.

“If you can walk down the stairs tomorrow morning, by yourself, after I’m finished with you tonight, then you are free to move on your way, tracker in tow.”

Whilst he hasn’t said it explicitly, you know exactly what he means to do that would prevent you from walking tomorrow. Cheeks burning, you still feel the need to fill the silence with a stammered question.

“After you’re finished with me?” The heated look in his eyes intensifies, and your gaze drops to the floor. “I’ve never done anything like this before…”

“Look at me.” He commands, and your eyes snap to his immediately. “Do you want to?”

“Yes.” You whisper.

“Come here.”

He guides you easily, large palms manoeuvring your body into whatever position he desires. He sets you in his lap, one of his thighs bracketed by yours.

Ever since his fingers had curled around the collar, your entire body has felt sensitive. Now that you can feel the warmth of his solid thigh against your aching core, you can’t prevent the whimper from escaping your throat.

“Go on then.” He urges you, a hand pressing at the small of your back. His eyes remain on yours as he leans back in the chair, and you feel yourself clench at his casual dominance. You’ve heard about what he wants you to do, but you’ve never done it before.

Experimentally, you rock your hips forward. A small hum warms your throat as a spark of pleasure tingles in your belly. It’s been so long since you’ve allowed yourself some pleasure.

You hadn’t touched yourself when you were in the First Army, too self conscious that someone else in the tent would catch you. It was only once you arrived at the Little Palace, and had your own room, that you felt able to enjoy such a luxury.

Aleksander had been a prominent feature of your fantasies when you had figured out what you liked. Silk sheets, your bare body flushed as you had climaxed around your fingers, shaking as you imagined Aleksander being the one touching you.

It was a far cry from this moment.

From the jerky motion of your hips as you whine pathetically, fully clothed and flushed with embarrassment. Aleksander studies your face with an intense expression, which has warmth prickling over your skin.

He appears to take some pity on you, and begins to direct your hips with a firm hand curled around your hip. You inhale sharply as the fabric of your slicked panties catches against your clit, and your fingers tighten their hold on his jacket.

“Oh you poor thing.” He coos, and your cheeks burn at the humiliation. “That boy hasn’t been taking care of you, has he?”

When you don’t respond, Aleksander grips a fistful of your hair in his hand and repeats sternly,

“Has he?”

You whimper.

“No. He hasn’t.” He tightens his grip and you’re quick to correct yourself, “No, he hasn’t, sir.”

He hums, and loosens his hold on your hair, sliding his fingers over your scalp and you shudder.

Gasps and whimpers fall from your lips as you slip away from reality, lost to the motion of your hips and the tingle of pain-pleasure caused by the rough fabric against your clit. You feel your cunt clench desperately around nothing, and you choke down a cry.

“That’s it, milaya.” He encourages you, and emotion wells in your chest as he continues, “Keep going. Such a needy little thing.”

The pleasure that sweeps through you is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It runs through the entirety of your body, knocking a gasp from your lungs as you climax.

Whilst it’s delightful, you can’t help but whine at how empty you are, your cunt gripping on nothing.

Breathing shakily, you drop your forehead down against his shoulder. Aleksander runs his hands over your thighs.

“Now what do you say?” He prompts.

“Thank you, sir.” He presses a kiss to the side of your face, and warmth blooms in your chest.

“Good girl. Now get on your knees.”

You blink at him for a moment. Then obey, sliding from his lap, down between his legs to kneel at his feet. He looks down at you, and you’ve never felt smaller or more at home.

“Can you undo my trousers? Or will that be too complicated for you?” He asks with a dark smile that has your cheeks flushing once again.

“I can do it, sir.”

He nods, giving a silent order which you obey.

His cock all but bursts free from the confines of his boxers, and despite your nerves at the size of him you feel the urge to take him into your mouth. He pets the back of your head.

“That’s it, relax that little jaw of yours and let me into your mouth.”

Your cunt tingles with warmth at his words, and you’re encouraged to take his cock between your lips. Surprisingly, he allows you to retreat once you begin to gag.

Blinking up at him from under your lashes, you find him already staring down at you, studying your every reaction. It’s almost as if he isn’t expecting pleasure from your efforts, only entertainment as you struggle.

Brows furrowing with determination, you attempt to take more of him into your mouth. He appears amused by your response, breathing out a small laugh as he lets his head rest against the back of the chair comfortably.

You try again, and again.

The weight of him on your tongue has a buzz settle pleasantly over your body. Aleksander smiles every time you jerk your head back, choking and gasping with tears in your eyes.

He strokes your flushed cheeks as more tears of frustration well in your eyes, and he chuckles at your reaction.

“You need to start small, milaya.” He informs you condescendingly as he grips the back of your head, urging you back down. “Suck on the tip.”

You do as he says, your mouth already feeling full from just the beginning of his cock. His fingers squeeze at the back of your neck, encouraging you to continue suckling.

Then he presses you closer, slowly, so you don’t even notice at first, until you feel his cock nudge against the back of your throat.

When he feels your throat tighten, he groans softly and a thrill runs through you. More tears flood down your cheeks, and you’re about to fight against his hold.

“Breathe through your nose.”

Your breaths are stilted, but you soon manage to do as he says. He groans a little louder, and you moan softly. His fingers flex and he releases you. A pleasure filled hum slips from his throat as his cock slides between your lips.

He guides your head back, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes.

Then he issues his next order.

“Strip.”

As you stand on wobbling legs, you take off your jacket, dropping it to the floor to join the scarf he had removed from you. With shaking hands, you undo the buttons on your shirt, and slide down your trousers.

Aleksander raises a brow when you hesitate, standing in front of him in only your underwear.

Once you’re completely bare, you can’t help but fiddle with your fingers. Life on the run had meant you hadn’t had the time to properly take care of your body.

Part of you wishes your first time with him had been when you were at the Little Palace. Where you had been pampered and prettied, with sweet smelling lotions and perfectly groomed hair.

“Turn for me. Slowly.” He instructs you.

You do as he says.

Once you’re facing him again, his eyes are hungry but he sighs,

“You haven’t been summoning, have you?”

You shake your head, guilt settling in your stomach. It’s not that you hadn’t wanted to. He holds your gaze for a long moment.

“Lie on the bed.”

Once again, you do as he says. Your feet skim the floor as you dangle your legs over the edge of the bed. Aleksander stands between your legs, towering over you as he slides his fingers through your soaked folds.

A loud moan is torn from your lips, and you throw your head back against the bedcovers, speeding your legs wider for him. His motions are firm and certain as he presses against your entrance, tracing a circle around your clenching hole.

“Summon, right now.” He demands.

You blink up at him.

“Aleksan-”

His other hand curls around your throat, his fingers pressing down on your clit.

“Call the sun, or I will do it for you.”

Your eyes flutter closed at his threat, body already yearning for the feeling of his power claiming yours. He breathes out a harsh laugh, already reading your desire.

“Is that what you want? You want me to do it for you?” He mocks. “Poor little girl who can’t summon on her own.”

Shameful arousal pools in your stomach, dropping down to flood between your legs where Aleksander slips a finger inside you.

“One of the first things you asked of me, was to give your power to someone who could use it. Don’t you still want that?”

You nod as much as you’re able to with his hand around your throat.

“Please.” You beg. “Please take it away. Take it all away. Want you in control, please.”

His thumb swipes over your clit, gathering the sticky wetness that’s soaking his fingers and using to bring you closer to your peak.

You topple over the edge, clenching hard around his finger as light floods through the room, shimmering from your skin. Heart hammering in your chest, you stare up at the ceiling, watching the light move over the uneven boards of wood above you.

He continues to stroke slowly through your folds as you come down from your high. When your breathing has evened out again, his finger circles your clit, and you whimper at the overstimulation.

Lifting your head up, you stare wide eyed at him as he flattens his palm over your stomach, keeping you in place as he speeds up.

“I can’t.” You whisper, shaking your head.

Gasps fall from your lips, louder and louder as you cry out,

“Please.”

“You take everything I give you.” He demands, his motions unwavering against your clit, and tears well in your eyes. “And you will be grateful for it.”

When you attempt to kick your legs in an effort to process the sensations flooding through you, your motions are halted. Aleksander’s shadows hold you tightly in place, spreading your legs wide, making you his for the taking.

At the sight of his power, you lose yourself completely. A scream falls from your lips as you clench around nothing, and Aleksander grins seeing you collapse boneless beneath him.

He shoves trousers and boxers down slightly, allowing them to hang at his mid thigh. He’s still wearing his shirt and jacket. You want to protest against this, after all, you’re completely bare, but your mouth doesn’t cooperate.

Despite how he had already loosened you up, and the amount of slick coating your cunt, the stretch of his cock pushing into you still burns, sending shockwaves through your body. As your body tightens in discomfort, Aleksander grips onto the collar.

Your vision swims and you close your eyes tightly as you feel him reach for your power, fingers tracing over the strings of your very soul, fine tuning them into whatever he wants.

The moment he fills you completely, you’re shaking and digging your nails into his clothes, your head thrown back as you convulse.

Aleksander laughs, realising you had just experienced a small climax already. If your eyes were open, you would see how tense his jaw was as he laughed. He wasn’t immune to the feeling of you clenching rapidly around his cock.

He breathes through gritted teeth as he slides out of you, only to push back in with a determined roll of his hips. The two of you moan in tandem, as he settles into a rhythm that has your toes curling.

His shadows wrap tighter around your thighs, holding you down against the mattress as he thrusts into your dripping cunt. Your fingers grasp at the sheets beneath you, occasionally fisting at his clothes as you writhe with pleasure.

Your gasps are increasing, a constant stream of moans making your throat hoarse as you throw your head back. Light dances over the walls, and the shadows lengthen over the floor.

Aleksander circles his thumb over your overstimulated clit, and the world goes white as you squeeze your eyes shut. His control of the shadows slips, and you’re able to wrap your legs weakly around his waist in an attempt to keep him close.

He groans lowly, face pressed into the crook of your neck as he spills inside you, and you breathe a sigh filled with elation. Pleasure clouds your vision, and every nerve in your body tingles.

When he pulls his softened cock out, you whimper and try to hold onto him. He breathes out a small laugh, but it seems more affectionate than mocking - though that could be the earth-shattering climax impairing your judgement.

Eyes still closed, you’re aware of a warm cloth being placed between your thighs, cleaning the mess away. His finger slides into you, pushing his spend back inside you. When you whine at the intrusion, he presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh.

The world is fuzzy as he wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you up.

“Come now, milaya. Let’s get you sat up. Are you hungry?”

Your eyes are barely open, but you nod enthusiastically. Whether it’s because you had finally summoned, or due to the vigorous exercise you had been put through, you’re not sure. But you’re starving.

Once you’re slumped against the pillows in an upright position, Aleksander sets down a tray filled with food. There’s bread, some cheeses, slices of meat, and fruits. You eat eagerly from Aleksander’s hand, limbs too heavy to do it yourself.

You know for a fact that this food isn’t from the boarding house. Even with your lack of appetite over the last few months, you know that the food here isn’t good.

Everything Aleksander offers you is delicious. Fresh and tasty. He cuts the fruit into bite sized pieces with a small knife, before he feeds them to you. The juice is sweet and refreshing.

He fills a glass with a soft wine, and you drink it quickly, eager for something to ease the hoarseness of your throat.

His touch is delicate now. A reassuring rub over your aching thighs; a thumb brushing a crumb from your lips; a hand resting on your stomach once you’ve finished eating.

He moves the tray away, pulling the covers over your body and encouraging you to sink back into the pillows that somehow smell like him.

It’s only as you’re slipping off to sleep that you realise the sheets aren’t the itchy cream ones you had fallen asleep on yesterday. They were black, a soft luxurious fabric that you can only assume usually resides on Aleksander’s own mattress.

A smile tugs at your lips as you imagine yourself back home at the Little Palace, safe in Aleksander’s arms.

Once you’re fully asleep, there’s a quiet knock at the door. Aleksander calls out in a low voice,

“Come in, Ivan.”

The heartrender steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He surveys your sleeping form for a brief moment, before he looks at his General.

Aleksander brushes a stray hair from your face, as he looks expectantly over at Ivan.

“The Drüskelle following her have been dealt with.” Ivan informs him.

“And the tracker?” Aleksander prompts.

“Left just before her third orgasm.”

He nods in acknowledgement, a look of pride on his face as he stares down at you, his hand sinking into your hair to massage your scalp.

Under his ministrations, you go even more pliant, slipping further into a deep sleep.

He had made you climax five times, ensured that you were well fed, and had drank a little wine. It’s likely you’ll be asleep until late afternoon tomorrow. By then the tracker will be long gone.

When you do wake it’ll be with Aleksander’s head between your thighs, tongue easing it’s way into your sore cunt to lick your slick directly from the source.

He can hardly wait, but he is a patient man, and now he has all the time in the world to enjoy you. Now that you’re his.

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @slytherheign @ellooo0ooo @vixenofcourse @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jane-arthur

Aleksander M Tag List: @nyctophiliiiiaaa @jazmin2211

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors @noortsshift @aikeia

#aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling smut #the darkling au #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone au

930 notes · View notes

myhairpintrigger · 5 months

Text

Grieving for the Living (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) Part 4

The entirety of a capricious and treacherous marriage between the Darkling and the Lantsov princess.

read previous parts here!! part 1 part 2 part 3

word count: 11.7k

warnings: nothing really, everything is canon typical. examples of an unhealthy relationship

taglist: @il0vebeingdelulu @mellowarcadefun @budugu @eir964 @arwensloanebarnes @marytvirgin @chaoticcoffeequeen @claire-loves-music

“Look at her, with her chin held high. She sympathizes with the witches, you know.”

“I heard her husband tried to kill her and she only escaped because of the Sun Summoner.”

“No, you’ve got it all wrong- she’s only here to spy on her family. She’s the Darkling’s whore, now.”

“Someone told me that she was the one that orchestrated the Darkling’s death. But what can you expect? Poor girl. She’s a princess and she was forced to marry a monster.”

“Rumor has it she’s carrying his demon child.”

People love rumors. Even “good” and “noble” people love them. Powerful men love them, proper ladies love them, everyone will indulge a rumor or an especially interesting piece of gossip.

The only thing people love more than a good rumor is a very public fall from grace.

You’d once been Ravka’s darling. The crown jewel of the Lantsov family. People loved you, they adored you. You hadn’t really kept up on public appearances after your wedding, but after that, there had been a steady decline in your popularity.

No one wanted to see the promising young Lantsov daughter married off to the Darkling.

Then of course after the mishap on the Fold that left Novokribirsk consumed by darkness, you had become hated. Feared. Despised.

Most people thought that you had helped the Darkling organize the entire ordeal, and those who didn’t believed you to be spineless and foolish.

Eyes were on you now. Narrowed eyes. Accusatory eyes. So many eyes.

You grasped Vasily’s arm tightly as he led you through a crowd of Ravka’s nobles and their families. You weren’t entirely sure what everyone was doing here at the Grand Palace, but you knew that it was a political meeting of sorts.

Your father had taken ill and Vasily was ruling in his place. An interim ruler of sorts.

You weren’t supposed to be here, you were supposed to be in your bedroom, but you had tried to sneak out. You wanted to go riding, you wanted to clear your head. Unfortunately, your brother had found you before you even had a chance to make it to the stables.

You and Vasily had never gotten along well, but since you had returned home after running for weeks and weeks, from town to town, he’d stunned you with kindness and concern. He believed every word you told him about the Darkling and about how you had to escape him, unlike your mother who strongly believed you would bear his “devil child”.

The two of you made your way through the crowded room in silence, and you held his arm as if it were your lifeline. You had heard the same gossip since you returned home. You heard it from town to town when you were trying to get home from Kribirsk, and you heard it now, all around you.

You had both nearly made a successful escape from the crowd when you heard someone call out your name.

“Princess y/n!”

You and Vasily both spun around to see a woman standing behind you. She held a glass of wine in one hand and the hand of a small child in the other.

“Y-yes?” You asked softly. Vasily gave your arm a gentle tug, but you turned to him and gave him a pleading look. He relented and allowed you to talk to them, but he didn’t let you let go of his arm.

“My husband. He was in Novokribirsk when the Fold swallowed it whole. When your husband murdered an entire city.” The woman deadpanned, swirling the red wine in her glass.

You let out a dejected sigh and gathered the skirt of your lilac colored dress in your free hand and you gave her a sympathetic look, “I am sorry for your loss. I, too, am grieving the loss of the city of Novokribirsk.”

“You don’t look it.” She shot back.

“I assure you-“

You were cut off by the woman flicking her wrist and splashing the entire glass of red wine all over the bodice of your dress. You gasped and took a step back before Vasily dropped your arm and brought his fingers to his mouth. He let out a loud whistle and a few guards came running towards them.

“This woman has just… assaulted my sister.” Vasily announced and pointed at her.

The guards moved towards her, likely to detain her, and Vasily grabbed your arm and tugged you away.

“It’s your fault! My child will never see her father again! You cannot silence me! There’s a thousand just like me!” She screamed and you could hear her grunt and struggle against the guards, but Vasily would not let you look back.

Once you both had made it out of the grand hall and into the corridor leading to the staircase, Vasily let go of your arm and he pulled a handkerchief out of his breast pocket. He handed it to you and motioned to your exposed chest and neck.

“You might want to wipe that off before it gets sticky.”

You took the cloth from his hand and you dabbed off the droplets of wine that had made it to your chest. You let out a small sigh and looked up at your brother, offering his handkerchief back to him. He took it and stuffed it back in his pocket before he reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Things will get worse before they get better. But they will get better. You’re here to stay, y/n. Let their tongues wag, sister. You are royalty. It doesn’t matter if they love you or hate you now, their opinions can be swayed. And they will be. Just not today.” Your brother said softly and you shrugged.

“They have their minds made up. I’m only as good as my husband in their eyes.” You stated, motioning to your stained dress.

“Y/n, their minds will change.”

“And then what? Tell me what then? I’ll be in their good graces until a man close to me screws up and then I’ll be cursed all over again. I am a woman, Vasily. I will always be blamed for a man’s poor choices,” You pointed out, wrapping your arms around yourself, “Our own mother thinks I am corrupted.”

“She’s just scared and confused, y/n. Father lays dying because of the Darkling. She’s just… naïve. No one ever accused her of being the brightest. But she never had to be.” He explained, trying to set your mind at ease.

You placed your left hand on your forehead and you sighed, “I just wish this past year had never happened, Vasily.” You breathed, shaking your head slowly.

Your brother eyed the hand you had on your forehead suspiciously and then he reached out and grabbed your wrist, “You know, Mother might have an easier time believing you if you didn’t still wear your wedding ring.”

You glanced down at your hand as your brother held your wrist and you frowned, “I don’t see it as a wedding ring. My friend made it. I think of it as a gift now. He’s the one that helped me escape, Vasily.”

Your brother rubbed a hand over his face and then he lowered his hand and placed it on your shoulder, “Sister, what happened to you was awful, and I’m sure it’s going to stay with you for a long time, but I think the best way to begin to move past it is to let any and all Grisha go. They are a poison to our society.”

“Don’t marginalize an entire group just for the actions of a few bad people, Vasily.” You whispered, frowning.

“Y/n. We aren’t going to talk about this right now. I must join the meeting. Go to your room and stay there. Get some rest, just… go.” He sighed. He patted your shoulder once and turned on his heel, making his way back into the hall.

You watched him disappear into the crowded room and you rubbed your face exhaustedly. Grasping your skirt in your hand, you trudged up the stairs with a sigh. You made your way to your bedroom and you closed the door behind you. You stared at the door handle for a moment and then locked it. Ever since you’d run away from Aleksander, you couldn’t help but feel like he was only one step behind you everywhere you went, like he’d always find you one way or another.

Everyone said he was dead, torn to pieces in the Fold, but deep down, you had your doubts. You couldn’t explain how or why, but you just felt like he was still out there.

When you had begun your journey back to Os Alta from Kribirsk, you didn’t stop for more than an hour at a time, bouncing around from village to village, town to town, moving constantly. Then the news began to spread. The first time you heard that Aleksander was presumed dead was when you sat in a small inn, warming your hands by a fire. From then on out, you slowed down a bit. Then the rumors about you came, and you began to move much quicker again.

You slowly pulled your dress off of your body and let it fall to the floor, kicking it aside. You’d pick it up later- you just wanted to lay down now. You grabbed the nightgown you’d worn last night off of the end of your bed and pulled it on before you laid down on your mattress and yanked the blankets up over your shoulders.

It wasn’t overly late, but there was nothing else to do except sleep at this point. You didn’t want to see anyone.

You lifted your hand up and held it over your face and you peered up at the delicate ring that you wore still. You’d had enough sense to take it off of your ring finger, and now wore it on your middle finger. As pathetic as it may seem, you didn’t feel right taking it off.

Your husband’s words echoed in your brain for what seemed like the hundredth time this week as you lowered your hand and bit your bottom lip.

“Your country will hate you. You will be cursed with the title of my wife for as long as you shall live. You’ll be treated no better than Grisha.”

You lowered your hand down onto your stomach and you looked up at the ceiling with a small sigh. Until today, it had only been rumors. Gossip. Today you’d had red wine thrown at you. What about tomorrow? Things couldn’t just keep getting worse.

But you’d find that they could.

And they would.

“Mother and I have been talking.” Vasily stated, setting his cup of tea on the table next to you.

You looked over at your brother for a moment and then you shrugged, stirring a bit of honey into your tea.

“What of?” You asked, looking back down at your tea.

“Well, we think that perhaps, for the time being, we ought to send you to Ketterdam. To study at the university, or apprentice under a politician-“

“The Fold was hardly safe to cross a month ago. What makes you think that it is crossable now?” You asked and pulled your spoon out of your tea. You pointed the spoon at your brother and clicked your tongue a few times, “I’m not going to Ketterdam, Vasily. That’s silly.”

“It’s not,” he reached out to push your spoon away and he sighed, “Sister, there have been threats made on your life. Last week you were attacked more or less. If we are going to take risks, I’d rather it be this one rather than just sitting here and wait for you to be attacked.”

You blinked a few times and looked over at your brother, “Come on, Vasily. This feels like a punishment.”

“It’s not a punishment, sister. Being in Ravka just… is not a great fit for you right now.”

You laid your hands flat on the table and you ran your tongue along the backs of your teeth angrily.

“And what does Father say of this?” You asked, drumming your fingers against the tabletop.

“He agrees, y/n. You’re a sitting duck. For many reasons. One, there are people in this country who think you should be held responsible for the Darkling’s actions, we aren’t going to wait for someone to try to hurt you. Two…” Vasily trailed off and he let out a small sigh, “Mother and Father told me not to tell you. But I’m going to because you are bound to find out on your own regardless. Sister, the Darkling lives.”

It was as if your blood turned to stone and your heart had stopped beating. Your mouth felt dry and it became very difficult to swallow. Your vision came in and out of focus and you let out an unconvincing, incredulous laugh.

“He disappeared in the Fold. He didn’t emerge. He lives not.” You weren’t sure who you were trying to convince; yourself or Vasily.

Your brother shrugged and he took a sip of his tea, “I’m only relaying what I’ve been told.” He remarked, setting his teacup back down onto its saucer.

The clink of ceramic made you jump slightly and you looked over at your brother, “He cannot be alive, Vasily. He will come for me. I ran from him. In his eyes, I betrayed him. He will come for me. He can’t be alive.” You pleaded, feeling sick as you glanced down at your own tea.

“That’s precisely why we’d like to send you to Ketterdam, sister. With a full team of guards. There are smugglers that are very good at what they do that can safely get you across the Fold. Once you’re across, you can go straight to Ketterdam. You’ll be safe there.” Your brother explained, reaching out to touch the back of your hand, “We can’t afford to lose you. Not when we are faced with losing our father, Nikolai hasn’t been home in over seven years… please. Go willingly.”

You felt shaky and lightheaded, as if you hadn’t eaten for days, panic filling your chest and your lungs as if it were a mere inhale. You looked away from Vasily and you stared at the wall for a long time before you gave your brother a very slight nod.

“Do you promise that these smugglers can get me across the Fold safely?” You asked slowly, your voice sounding distant in your own ears.

“We have had major success with them before, and they aren’t Grisha.” He insisted, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Okay.” You whispered and gave Vasily a small nod.

“It’s for the best.” Vasily said softly and gave your shoulder a little squeeze before he stood up from the small table you two sat at, “Perhaps you should start thinking about packing.” He remarked and then walked away, likely going off to speak to your mother or whatever else he deemed important.

You stayed seated at the table for a long time and you looked down at the ring that fit snugly on your middle finger. You bit your bottom lip and you shook your head once. Surely he was going to look for you at some point, you just didn’t know what point that would be.

Maybe, just maybe, if you left as soon as possible, you could get ahead. Leave Ravka, get halfway to Ketterdam before he caught wind of it- if he caught wind of it at all, of course. You slowly rose from the table a few moments later and you shuffled out to the hallway.

You glanced at the set of double doors at the end of the hall that led outside towards the Little Palace and you bit your lip. You checked over your shoulder briefly and then you quickly made your way outside. Once you were positive you hadn’t been seen or followed, you walked briskly towards the Little Palace. You swung the doors open and moved inside quickly before closing them again.

You weren’t entirely sure why you were back here, you hadn’t been since you’d returned back to Os Alta. Vasily and your mother had forbidden it. As nice as Vasily had been, you had come to realize he was just as wary of you as your mother.

Whatever.

Nothing you could say would change their minds, and nothing short of being the one to remove and deliver Aleksander’s head to them would make them ever think that you weren’t somehow in on what he did.

Of course that hurt, though. You had never felt loneliness like this before.

You wandered through the halls silently until you reached your old shared bedroom and you pushed the doors open.

The place had been ransacked. Likely by guards and probably your brother as well, looking for anything that might help them with the Fold.

Your wardrobe hung ajar and some of your dresses had been tossed to the ground, but for the most part, your things had been untouched. You wandered around the room silently, feeling a small pang of guilt in the pit of your stomach. Feeling guilt for what happened was insane to you, yet there the feeling was.

You glanced at the bed and almost felt tears rise to your eyes. You swallowed them back.

Despite your husband’s perversion of Alina’s power and his endless chase for his own, sometimes when it was just you and the silence, you missed him.

Not the power-hungry him. The version of him that remembered that you liked sunsets and took time out of his nights to show you them. The version of him that surprised you so excitedly with a dress that matched his own ensemble. The version of Aleksander that fussed over you being cold, that wrapped you in his cloaks and offered to carry you.

Your relationship with Aleksander was complicated. It was up and down and there were a lot of things on his end that he never told you of. Loving him was so short, yet trying to forget him would last you a lifetime.

Some days you were convinced that your relationship was founded on lies and deception and that it wasn’t even healthy for either of you. Then, other days you were certain he was the love of your life, and it pained you that his drive for power made you collateral damage.

You would have stayed forever if he had seen sense, chosen you over his want for power. But he didn’t, and that was a painful reality.

You turned on your heel and took a step towards the door before your foot hit something on the ground. You looked down to see one of your husband’s large, thick cloaks and you sunk to your knees. You gathered some of the fabric up in your hands and you held it against your chest for a moment. You ran your fingers over the soft cloak and then you let out a long, sad sigh.

You wondered if he ever thought of you the way you thought of him. Sweetly at times, scornfully at others. It was hard to imagine that he’d think of you fondly, though. Especially after you ran away.

You did what you needed to do.

That’s what everyone told you. Your mother, your father, Vasily. All of them. It was the right thing to do. You would have just been a little trophy that he got to show off as if to say “look at me. I’m so powerful that even the Ravkan princess would take my side.”

That was his plan all along. You knew that. He’d all but admitted it. The luxury of love and care he offered was a reward for submitting. It was wrong. Everything was so wrong about his proposal to you the night he had planted the amplifiers in himself and Alina. He’d gotten one thing right, though. You had turned out to be hated and blamed by the masses, just as he had predicted. But it was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?

Some days, for just brief seconds, you weren’t so sure.

You shook the thought off as quickly as it had come and you stood up, dropping the cloak back to the ground.

No, you did do what you had to do. To keep your freedom.

You quickly left the room and you took up an unforgiving walking pace back to the Grand Palace. Once you’d gotten back inside of the Grand Palace, you slammed the doors behind you and you walked back to your room as if you’d been there the whole time.

You approached the stairs and took one step up before you saw Vasily come barreling down the stairs. When he saw you, he shook his head and grabbed both of your arms.

“Where were you?” He asked in a loud tone.

“I just went back to the Little Palace to find my dress from Mother!” You lied, trying to pull away from Vasily.

“Sister, something has happened.” He said sharply and then let go of you.

You felt your stomach sink and you looked up at Vasily, urging him to continue with your stare.

“I don’t have the time nor the patience to explain. We are leaving Os Alta. Tonight.”

“Tonight?” You asked and looked up at him, shaking your head, “But what about Ketterdam? We just-“

“I know! But we must leave tonight. We will figure out other ways of getting you out of here but just go get yourself ready for travel.” He commanded and you found yourself reeling.

He pushed past you and bolted down the hall, not saying another word to you.

You stared after him for a moment before you walked up the stairs. You’d nearly made it to the top when your mother came around the corner and stood at the landing at the top of the stairs. When she saw you, her face paled.

You stopped in your tracks and looked up at her. You gave her a small, watery smile and you took one step towards her.

“Mother-“

“You reek of the darkness.” She spat and she walked down the stairs past you hurriedly, leaving you standing alone at the top of the stairs.

You felt as if she had slapped you. You wished that was all she had done.

Sounds of bustling and loud voices echoed from downstairs and you pressed your fingernails into your palms. Tears stung your eyes and you slowly dragged yourself down the hall to your bedroom.

Coming home had likely been a mistake. You wished that you’d gone across the Fold with your husband, and then ran from there. Somewhere far away from here, perhaps to Ketterdam or even beyond, because as you stood there in your bedroom feeling an endless loneliness swirl in your chest, you couldn’t help but think that perhaps you’d traded one prison for another.

Days upon days on the road had been torture. Only Vasily had spoken to you, and you stayed near the back of the group, perched on your horse.

That was, until now. Vasily had summoned you up to the front of the group with him and he offered no explanation until about an hour of awkward silence had passed. Your brother turned to you and he gave you a small sigh, slowing his horse a bit so that he was right next to you while you rode yours.

“Doing alright?” He asked, looking you up and down.

You shrugged and kept your eyes ahead, watching the trees in the distance grow closer and closer, then finding new trees to watch; repeating this.

“You’ve been a bit sour lately.” Vasily commented and you snorted once.

“Our parents are disgusted by me and I was uprooted from my home within a matter of hours. Besides, you won’t even tell me where we’re going, Vasily.” You explained and shot him a look.

“We are going somewhere very safe. A sanctuary.” He replied, giving you a shrug. He led his horse up a small hill and you were quick to follow.

He stopped at the top of the hill and pointed at an old building nestled against a cliffside.

“That is where we are going…” He trailed off mid sentence and you watched him carefully. His eyes were fixed on a small group of people standing outside of the building, and you slowly turned your head to look, too.

People in brightly colored coats stood in front of the building and a few other people were there too, in the drab colors of the First Army. There was Grisha down there, and First Army, evidently. You stared at them all for a moment and realized that these must be Grisha that didn’t side with Aleksander, or else they’d likely be locked in cages or dead, especially with members of the First Army with them.

“Come on, then,” Vasily said in a hard tone, “let’s go see who they are and what they want.” He said slowly. You nodded once and followed him down the hill, holding the reins of your horse so tight that the leather of the reins left indents in your skin.

The ride down the hill was easy and as you slowly approached the building, everyone’s heads turned to you and your brother. You recognized a few of the Grisha from your time at the Little Palace and you searched your brain for names but couldn’t come up with any. Next, you looked at the group of First Army men to the side and you widened your eyes with recognition. A blonde boy in a decorated army uniform stood speaking to a much older man in a similar uniform.

You gasped loudly and you clambered off of your horse as it still moved, ignoring Vasily’s protests. You ran the rest of the way to the group, pushing past a few of the Grisha.

“Nikolai!” You cried, and the blonde boy turned his head to see you sprinting towards him.

A warm, elated smile formed on Nikolai’s face and he stepped forward with his arms open. You ran straight into your brother’s arms and wrapped your own around his shoulders. His arms closed tightly around your torso and he gave you a tight squeeze, letting out a mirthful laugh. An excited smile of your own covered your face and you felt a sense of comfort that you hadn’t had for many months.

“Oh, y/n!” Your brother exclaimed, pulling back. He placed his hands on your arms and he looked you up and down a few times before he let out another laugh, “Saints! Look at you! You’re so grown!”

You felt giddy with delight as you stared up into the face of your brother and you reached up to mess up his blonde hair.

“It’s been seven years, Nikolai!” You exclaimed, the smile on your face not fading even a bit, “Why on earth are you here? Where on earth have you even been? I-“

“That’s quite enough, sister.” You slowly turned your head around to see that Vasily stood behind you now, also off of his horse, “I’m sure the last thing Nikolai wants is for you to be yapping his ear off.”

“I don’t mind.” Nikolai interjected firmly, dropping his hands away from your arms, “I was actually really looking forward to seeing her. When I heard you were all heading this way, I started telling everyone about you.” He remarked and looked down at you with a smile.

“Yes well, we didn’t expect you to be here. With company.” Vasily said stiffly, and you wondered what his problem was.

“The more the merrier. That’s what they say, at least, and if it’s true, I’ve got a merry little sanctuary going on here.” Nikolai quipped back at Vasily.

“I can see that.” Vasily murmured and then cleared his throat, “Why don’t you help us get everything inside, Nikolai? Have your… help aid us.”

You looked around for a moment before realizing that Vasily was less than thrilled to see Grisha here. You pressed your lips together and looked over at him with a frown.

“The help? Oh no, brother. You’re mistaken. They’re here because they want to be. No one here is above or beneath anyone. We all help each other.” Nikolai’s voice was calm and friendly, but you could always tell when he was masking his sternness behind kindness. This was one of those times.

Nikolai looked down at you and smiled, a real, genuine smile. You felt a little less lonely in that moment and he placed his hand on your shoulder.

“We have much to catch up on, and we will, believe me. But I’m gonna help get everyone situated. Maybe you should go inside and meet everyone.” He suggested and you gave him a nod.

You leaned forward and gave him another brief hug before you pulled back. You turned your head and gave Vasily a pointed look before you turned on your heel and walked inside of the large building.

Once you stepped inside, you looked around. The room was bustling with Grisha in their brightly colored clothes. You took a few more steps into the building before you heard your name called.

“Y/n?”

You turned to where the voice had come from, and you almost had to do a double take.

Alina Starkov walked towards you with a tall, lanky boy behind her, who you vaguely recognized as Malyen. Both of them approached you swiftly and you looked up at Alina, a bit shocked.

“You’re alive.” You breathed, looking her up and down a few times.

“I am, and I’m so glad to say the same for you.” She said softly and reached out.

She grabbed your hands gently in her own and she gave you a sympathetic smile. You smiled back at her and took a step closer to the girl, giving her hands a friendly squeeze.

“What happened, Alina? How did it come to this?” You asked quietly.

Her smile fell and she turned to look at the boy next to her and she gave him a little nod.

“Let’s take her to a room. So we can speak privately.” She suggested and he nodded once.

She let go of one of your hands, but kept ahold of one of them so that she could lead you through the halls of what was your supposed sanctuary.

She led you to a room with double doors and the tracker boy with her pushed them open for the two of you and you followed her inside. Once the doors were closed, Alina brought you to the foot of the bed in the room and she sat down on it, tugging you down with her.

She gave you a sad smile and then she sighed, letting go of your hand.

“You were smart to disappear.” Alina remarked and you nodded once.

“I gathered. What even happened? I know things have gotten bad-“

“Bad is an understatement.” The tracker boy, Mal, said from where he stood a few feet away.

Alina nodded once in apparent agreement and she let out another sigh.

“The day we went out into the Fold, Aleksander was… furious. He came and got me from my tent and he told me you’d be coming with us. Which, I was fearful about. He brought me to his tent, but when we arrived there, you were gone. I’ve never seen him lose composure like that,” she said, a distant look in her eye, “he was angry and he was shouting and he was commanding anyone that could hear him to go and find you. But you had just… vanished. It was like he’d lost his mind for a moment there. Some soldiers theorized that you’d been taken, and he nearly had accepted it, but Ivan wasn’t convinced. He told Aleksander that you likely ran deliberately. At that point, he didn’t want to waste any more time, so he continued with the voyage, and he said he’d ‘deal’ with you later. I don’t think he expected to lose.” She explained and then folded her hands in her lap.

You blinked a few times and you looked down into your own lap. The ring on your middle finger seemed to burn into your skin and you bit the side of your cheek sharply. You stayed silent for a while and then looked back up at Alina, puffing out your cheeks slightly.

“What happened to him? To you?” You asked, placing your hands down against the fabric of your riding pants.

“Mal fought him off mostly. He was swarmed by volcra. Mal and I… we got across the Fold and ran. Went into hiding for a while.” She answered.

“By volcra?” You said and perked your head up. If he was swarmed by volcra, there was no way that he would have survived. The rumors of his survival must have been just that: rumors.

“Yes.”

You shuddered at the thought and then you looked up at Alina, giving her a small smile. You didn’t know if you should mention what Vasily told you about your husband being alive. You probably should have, but you didn’t.

“I think… that’s for the best.” You remarked slowly and then laid your palms flat against your lap.

There was a small silence in the room and you didn’t know how to fill it. You tapped your fingers against your lap quietly and puffed your cheeks out slightly. You’d never taken the time to speak to Alina, really. The two of you had exchanged words in the Little Palace a few times but nothing groundbreaking was ever said. To be honest, you never really wanted to converse with her. Not until now, at least.

Alina’s hand grasped your shoulder and you looked over at the girl next to you. She was giving you a small, sympathetic smile.

“I’m really glad you’re okay. At least one of us made it out.” She remarked and you raised your eyebrow.

“But did I really make it out?” You asked, thinking of what your husband had said to you, about how your country would hate you. You felt a bit resentful towards your parents and your brother, Vasily. You couldn’t help but believe you had only traded one bad scenario for another.

“Yes, I can’t even imagine what would have happened if you’d gone into the Fold with us that day.” She said and you blinked a few times.

You’d wondered that, too, a couple of times. You wondered if things would have turned out differently, you wondered if you’d be with Aleksander now, you wondered if your country would still despise you so. You thought you’d done the right thing but it seemed there was no right thing to do. Only the preferable one. The one to save face. You sighed and then gave Alina a small smile.

“I think I’d like to be alone.” You whispered and Alina nodded.

“Of course. I’m right next door- if you need anything.” She said, rising from your bed.

She gave you a small wave as she and Mal left the room and you flopped back onto your bed.

Your mind raced upon being left alone and you tried to clear it by shaking your head a few times. You felt confused, angry, exasperated, and tired all at once.

You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, trying to fight back the consuming thoughts of Aleksander.

You sat between your two brothers at dinner that night, bouncing your knee anxiously. To your left, Nikolai sat sipping his wine next to Alina, and to your right, Vasily sat and picked at his food while your mother fussed over his hair as she sat next to him.

You had finished your first glass of wine and reached across the table for the bottle, only to have the back of your hand smacked by Vasily.

“Sister, we will not have a repeat of the last time you had control over your wine intake.” He spoke, giving you a condescending smile.

Nikolai reached across the table and grabbed the bottle of wine and poured some in your glass before he set the bottle back down and turned to Vasily with a grin.

“No harm done, brother. This is fine wine, after all, she’s got good taste.” Nikolai remarked and then winked at you.

You gave your blonde brother a small, appreciative smile and you grabbed the glass, taking a sip.

Vasily snorted and your mother looked over at you and Nikolai before she shook her head with a small scoff.

“Don’t defend her, Nikolai. The last time she was given wine she made a fool of herself.” Your mother snapped, but Nikolai only laughed and nudged your side.

“If you cause a scene tonight, you’ll have my appreciation. Maybe even some new pearls.” He teased and you turned to look at Nikolai. You giggled softly at his offer and then you shook your head.

“Mother and Father already covertly wish for my swift beheading. What makes you think they’ll not beat me with sticks?” You asked and took another sip of your wine.

“I gathered that Mother wasn’t too pleased with you at the moment. Why?” He asked and took a bite of his food.

You sighed and then shook your head once, glancing down at your own plate.

“She thought I was expecting the Darkling’s child. But clearly I’m not pregnant, so now she just hates me for being his wife. But that’s odd, because,” you held up your finger and jabbed it towards your mother and father, “the marriage between the Darkling and I was their idea.”

Nikolai rolled his eyes and he reached out for the bottle of wine for himself, grabbing hold of the neck of the bottle.

“Yeah, I heard about that. Thought it was a bit of an odd pairing but what do I know? Alina told me that you escaped him. Is that not enough for our parents?” He asked and poured himself more wine.

“Evidently not. I thought Vasily was on my side, but it seems not. But I mean, no one else is. The entire country hates me.” You remarked and then looked up at Nikolai, “you know people and their rumors.” You said and then gave your brother a weak smile.

“I don’t hate you. And I am on your side,” Nikolai began, giving you a sympathetic smile, “you did the right thing, you shouldn’t be punished for it. Sometimes running is the brave thing. Sometimes you have to walk out, have to give up. It doesn’t always feel right, but it’s braver in the grand scheme of it all to have cut your losses and started over fresh.” He said and then placed his hand on your shoulder, “I think you’re brave. Braver than me, even. I’m proud of you.” He said softly and then squeezed your shoulder.

You looked at your brother, surprised. You shook your head once and then you let out a sad laugh.

“Oh, Nikolai. I’ve missed you more than you will ever know.” You murmured and then rubbed your eyes.

You pulled your hands away from your eyes and it looked as if Nikolai was about to say something more, but Vasily’s loud voice stopped him.

“Why must you always play the diplomat, Nikolai?” Vasily asked, holding his wine glass close to his lips. He shot a look at you and then one at Alina, “Grisha dining beside true Ravkan soldiers is a bit too much for all of our stomachs.”

You made a disgusted face at Vasily and opened your mouth to protest, but you were stopped by Alina’s voice.

“We’re all Ravkan here.” She snapped

“Doesn’t have to be us versus them.” Nikolai added.

“Your bigotry is rather outdated, Vasily.” You chimed in, earning a look of disdain from your mother.

“General Kirigan should’ve thought of that before he tried to murder our father and stage a coup.” Vasily shot back and then gave you a nasty little smirk, “That said, absent their Darkling, the Grisha are rather easy to manage. Though, it seems our sister has become more difficult to manage in the lack of his presence. Why do you think that is?” He asked and kept his eyes on yours, accusingly.

“By “manage” do you mean “execute”, moi tsarevich?” Alina asked, sharply, and this seemed to be enough to draw your brother’s accusatory eyes away from yours.

“That fate is reserved for traitors to the Crown, Miss Starkov.” He answered and then looked back at you, lips curling upwards.

“If the Second Army requires a leader loyal to the Crown to assure their fealty, then I will lead them.” Alina said calmly, leaning over the table to look at Vasily.

Your oldest brother tore his gaze away from you and smiled at Alina. He laughed and took a long sip of his wine, glancing at your mother who was also giggling.

“Why should I believe you have any loyalty to my family? I hardly have any within it.” He remarked and eyed you and Nikolai amusedly.

Nikolai glanced at you for a second and then he looked at Alina. The two stared at each other for a moment and then Nikolai grabbed his wine glass and stood up.

For a split second, you thought he might leave the table. He began speaking instead.

“Today marks the start of a new era of cooperation between Lantsovs and the Grisha” he began and held his glass up in a toast, “I’m delighted to announce my engagement to Alina Starkov, the Sun Summoner and the new leader of the Second Army. Together we will build a better future for Ravka.” He finished. He shouted praise to Ravka in the native tongue and raised his glass higher before taking a sip and sitting back down.

You gaped up at your brother and blinked a few times. Vasily muttered something in your mother’s ear and you whipped around to look at them.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.” You snapped, staring at the two of them, “you’re no better than the rest of the gossipers in this country. You just sit on pretty chairs.” You hissed and then stood up.

You looked down at Nikolai and Alina and gave them a smile, “I’m happy for you both.” You said softly and then patted Nikolai’s shoulder before you pushed your chair in and left the dining hall.

You walked out into the hallway without looking back, but you heard heavy footsteps behind you. You didn’t turn around, and you wouldn’t have either, if your brother’s clammy hand didn’t clamp itself around your wrist. He yanked you backwards and you found yourself face to face with a seething Vasily.

“You wretched brat!” Vasily screamed. He lifted your wrist up and snatched the ring off of your middle finger and threw it down the hallway.

You gasped loudly and tried to yank your arm away from his grip, but to no avail.

“After all I have sacrificed for you-“

“Sacrificed for me? What have you sacrificed for me? You’ve sacrificed nothing of your own. You’ve sacrificed my reputation. My name. You’d sooner see me dragged through the mud before anyone blackens your name, Vasily.” You snapped back, reaching out to shove his chest as you yanked your wrist free of his grip.

“You selfish-“

“I’m allowed to be fucking selfish!” You exclaimed and balled your fists up, “After everything that’s happened to me, I’m allowed to look out for myself! I was married off with no say to someone wicked and I am now blamed for that! Once again, another example of how a man’s poor choice becomes my fault! Father chose the Darkling for me, and now he’s angry at me for it? Please. He’s pathetic. You’re pathetic.”

Vasily seemed shocked by your words and he struggled to form any of his own, it seemed. His brows furrowed together and he looked as if he might reach out and strangle you at any second before you heard Nikolai behind him.

“Vasily, I think it’s time to leave her alone and go back to the table.” Nikolai suggested, striding towards the two of you.

Vasily only seemed to grow angrier and before you knew it, he was lunging for you. You shrieked and jumped backwards and Nikolai jolted forward and grabbed Vasily by the arms, yanking him backwards.

“Enough! All three of you, enough!”

You all turned to see your father standing in the hallway with his hands on his hips and his brows furrowed angrily. Vasily shook himself free of Nikolai’s grip and he smoothed his hair back before going to join your father by his side.

“There are wars being waged out there! There are battles to be fought! That is to be expected, but I will not have my own children causing turmoil!” He bellowed, “All of you, get back in there and sit down. Pretend to like each other if you must, but behave! I’ll not have you bring more shame into this family.” He spat and then eyed you and Nikolai.

He turned around with Vasily and marched back into the dining hall. You inhaled deeply and turned around, scanning the hallway for your ring.

“Y/n…” Nikolai began as you dropped to your knees and began to search the floor for your wedding ring.

“Just go back to dinner, Nik. I’m going to my room.” You said with a small sigh as you continued to look for the little piece of jewelry.

“What are you looking for?” He asked, lowering himself down to the ground with you.

You let out a huff and turned your head around to face him.

“A ring.”

“Your wedding ring.” He corrected and you blinked a few times.

“I don’t think of it as a wedding ring.” You protested and continued crawling around the floor to find it.

“It’s okay to miss him, you know.” Nikolai said softly and you froze. You didn’t turn around.

“I don’t miss him.” You said flatly, but you knew it was a lie and so did Nikolai.

Nikolai moved towards you and placed his hand on your back gently, sighing.

“Y/n, it’s okay to miss him,” he repeated, hand still against your back, “he was your first real… suitor. I’m sure despite the arranged marriage aspect, you did come to love him, and that’s okay. You aren’t a monster for loving someone,”

He said softly and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you against his side, “our parents failed you, sister. Your husband failed you. This country failed you. You are young and you were taken advantage of in so many ways. Our parents took advantage of you, I’m sure the Darkling did as well. You can condemn what he’s done and not agree with what he believes and still miss him.” Your brother said softly.

You felt tears spring to your eyes and you leaned against his side, sniffling once.

“I feel so stupid, Nikolai,” you breathed and turned to look up at him, “I do miss him. I miss him dearly. I sometimes question whether or not I did the right thing when I ran. It’s so hard to accept that this is just how it is now. He said he loved me, Nikolai. He told me that he’d always protect me, and I believed him. I let him persuade me so many times with soft words and affectionate touches, I was weak. I was weak and now I’m paying for it.”

“You weren’t weak. You didn’t know better, little sister.” Nikolai whispered and then he pulled away from you. He stood up and walked down the hallway and crouched down.

He picked something up and came back to you, kneeling in front of you. He held your wedding ring out towards you and gave you a small smile.

“You did the right thing. You did the brave thing. Now let yourself grieve.” He said and you gently took the ring from his fingers.

You slipped it back on and Nikolai offered you his hand. You took it gratefully and he pulled you to your feet.

“Everything will turn out for the best, sister. I promise.” He said, giving you a kind smile.

You returned his smile briefly but then let the smile fade from your face.

Best for who?

The following weeks were hardly eventful and you found yourself bored in your so-called sanctuary. No one ever let you go far outside and when you did go outside- which was a rare occurrence- Nikolai or Alina and Mal accompanied you.

With little to do, you’d taken to following Nikolai around. Most days, he’d entertain you by telling you stories of his time at sea as the two of you wandered the halls of the old building you occupied.

Today, you hoped, wouldn’t be any different. You had risen from bed rather late in the morning and by the time you went to seek Nikolai out, he’d been gone for a while. You spent the morning in your room while you waited for Nikolai to return and you read through one of the three books you’d been able to pack up and bring. But you’d been at this now for hours, and you started to grow deathly bored of your own company.

With a long groan, you slowly rose from the bed and you shuffled out into the hallway. You heard people talking from further out in the hall and you made your way towards the voices curiously.

You rounded a corner and saw Alina, Mal, two other Grisha, a man in shackles, and Nikolai all standing together. You padded towards them all, catching the last words out of Nikolai’s mouth.

“He claims to have escaped from a very alive General Kirigan.” Nikolai said to Alina in a quiet voice.

Not quiet enough, you thought. Because the words still reached your ears.

“He gave himself up without a struggle. We found this on him.” Nikolai added and handed something to Alina, “He says it’s one of Morozova’s journals. I for one, am dying to know more, but he’s insisted he speak with you.”

You came closer and Nikolai caught sight of you and he let out a small sigh, slowly taking a step towards you.

“What’s happening?” You asked quietly, looking up at your brother.

Nikolai swept his arm out towards the group in front of you, and you glanced over at the man in shackles. You were instantly hit with recognition.

The man in shackles had ragged hair and he was dirty, but you knew him from anywhere. It was David Kostyk. The Durast that helped you escape from Aleksander.

You took a step forward but Nikolai grabbed your arm and shook his head, “No.” he said quietly.

David seemingly hadn’t noticed you yet and he stepped towards Alina, only to be stopped by one of the large Grisha you recognized as a boy named Tolya.

“Alina…” David began, “I know I wronged you. Please believe that I regret my role in that deeply. I know you have reason to distrust me, but I have no loyalty to General Kirigan.”

“He survived the Volcra?” Alina asked, almost shakily.

“I’m afraid so,” David began and then he shook his head, “He also knows that you survived and you’re in East Ravka.”

“Tell us where he is.” Mal demanded.

You moved to step forward again, but Nikolai stopped you once more and sent you a warning look.

“No, no, no. That would be a very bad idea.” David said, clearly afraid.

“You can’t expect us to trust you unless you’re willing to share information.” Alina piped up.

“Confronting him would be suicide. Kirigan used merzost to create something in the Fold. Creatures that do his bidding. The size of two men! Formed of pure shadow! They have no breath to take, no heart to stop, no blood to drain, yet they live. They live and they kill. They are nichevo'ya.” He said quietly.

Nothings. Your Ravkan was weak, but you understood what he said.

“Bullets, blades, fire, all simply pass through.” David breathed, “and they all walk freely in sunlight. I fear that merzost may be the only way to kill them.” David finished and then his eyes flickered over to you. You gave him a small smile.

A look of surprise and then terror washed over his face and he blinked a few times.

“So how did you manage to get away, then?” Mal asked.

David struggled to answer Mal and he let out a tired sigh, “Genya. We tried to escape together, but the nichevo'ya… She sacrificed herself to get me out. I don’t know if she survived.” David said, on the verge of tears.

You felt sadness for him and you gently grabbed Nikolai’s arm and looked up at him with a frown. He gave you a look of sympathy and then he let out a sigh, puffing his cheeks out.

“A smart spy will always play the victim.” Tolya pointed out.

“No, no.” David whispered desperately.

“You make a valid point, Tolya.” Nikolai said and you pulled on his arm, “As leader of the Second Army, Alina, this is your call.” He said slowly.

“I trust him. With my life.” You said quickly and suddenly all eyes were on you.

You felt a bit nervous and your brother gave you a sharp look but you let out a sigh and shook your head.

“I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for David. He helped me escape the Darkling.” You explained vaguely, looking over at the terrified Durast.

“Take him to a holding cell.” Alina finally said and you felt your face fall.

“Alina-“ you began, but Nikolai gently grabbed your arm and he shook his head.

“We can discuss this, but not here.” He said firmly, but the kindness in his voice never left.

You met his eyes and stared at him for a while before you finally nodded. You knew you’d be able to talk some kind of sense into Nikolai, and in turn, he’d likely be able to talk some into Alina. David wasn’t a bad person, you knew this wholeheartedly, and you also knew indefinitely that if he claimed to not be here on the Darkling’s orders, then he certainly wasn’t.

“We need a moment alone.” Mal piped up and you and your brother both turned to him.

Nikolai’s eyes flickered between Mal and Alina for a moment and then he nodded.

“Of course,” he said and offered his arm to you, “come, sister. You and I can also speak privately.” He remarked.

You gently took your brother’s arm and he led you down the hall towards his makeshift office. Once the two of you were securely inside, he closed the door and he looked down at you.

“Alright. Tell me everything you know about David Kostyk.” Nikolai said patiently and walked towards his desk. He sat down in the chair that was placed in front of the wooden desk and he folded his arms, looking up at you expectantly.

“David is a friend. He is the one that created the collar for Alina and he did put the amplifiers in both my husband and her, but you must understand, he had no choice. He regretted that choice. He’s the one that aided me in my escape. He came to the Darkling’s tent and he gave me a disguise and he let me run.” You explained and wrung your hands together.

Your brother seemed to consider this and then he gave you a little nod before he raised one eyebrow.

“You’ve never mentioned this before.” He stated and leaned forward a bit in his chair.

“I didn’t want it to get back to the Darkling. He would’ve hurt David.” You said and then walked to Nikolai’s desk. You laid your hands down against the desk’s cold, wooden surface, and you let out a sigh, “Look, if he’s alive like David says, then we need everyone we can get. He’ll come for Alina.”

Nikolai nodded once and then seemed to be lost in thought for a moment before speaking again.

“He’ll likely come for you, too, you know.” Your brother remarked and slowly rose from his chair.

“I disagree. I think he values Alina much more. I’m dead to him. He gave me an opportunity to join him and a promise that my life would be misery if I didn’t. He’s making good on the promise, reuniting with me would be nonsensical.” You reasoned.

Nikolai shrugged and dragged a hand through his blonde hair, “You aren’t in the clear just because you ran, y/n.” He mused and then stood up, “I’m going to have a word with Alina about Mr. Kostyk. Why don’t you wait here for me?”

He suggested.

You gave him a little nod and then you sat down in one of the armchairs near the desk.

“Can I see him? I consider him a friend, Nik.” You murmured softly, feeling sadness grow in the pit of your stomach at the thought of David in a cell.

“I… don’t see that being much of an issue eventually.” He answered and walked towards the door, patting your shoulder reassuringly as he passed you. He left the office and closed the door behind you, leaving you in the silence of the empty office.

Nearly an hour and half had gone by according to the clock that sat on Nikolai’s desk, and no one had come back to the office. At first you spent your time rifling through papers in Nikolai’s desk, but you found nothing of interest, so you’d sat back down in the uncomfortable armchair you had initially been in.

Now you sat, spinning your sparkling wedding ring around your middle finger. It was a band of thin rectangular diamonds framed in gold. It was missing one stone, and you assumed it had gotten lost when Vasily threw your ring across the hallway weeks ago. It wasn’t noticeable, though. You just wore the part with the missing stone on the back of your finger, hiding it from sight.

You pulled the piece of glimmering jewelry off of your middle finger and slipped it on your ring finger, holding your hand up in front of your face to see. It fit much better around your ring finger, as it was intended to spend the rest of its days upon that specific finger. While it fit on your middle finger, it was slightly too tight and oftentimes you had to slip it off in the mornings when your hands were swollen.

You admired the way the ring sparkled in the sunlight that filtered through the window and you smiled just a bit, wiggling your finger.

Just then, the door swung open and you lowered your hand quickly before turning around to see Nikolai standing in the doorway.

“I didn’t mean for that to take so long, my apologies, little sister.” He hummed and then let out a little laugh, “you could’ve left, you know.” He remarked.

You rose from the uncomfortable armchair and walked over to your older brother, shaking your head.

“Punctuality was never your strong suit.” You replied and smiled up at him.

“Well, to be fair, I didn’t give you a time frame.” He quipped and then he smiled down at you, “Alina spoke to David. She’s deemed him trustworthy enough, which is good. If you still wish to speak with him still, I can take you to him.” Nikolai offered.

You nodded vigorously at his offer and you gave him a small smile, “I’d really like that.”

Nikolai swept his arm towards the door and motioned for you to exit his office and you did so with a certain excitement. He led the way downstairs and through a few winding halls before he pushed open a door and stepped inside with you.

You hadn’t been in this area before, and it was apparent why. The walls were shabby and there was dust everywhere, settling over everything. Nikolai walked towards a row of doors down a hallway that was in the same condition and he unlocked one and opened it up.

As the door swung open, you shuffled into the doorway to be met with the disheveled face of David Kostyk inside. His eyes lit up when he saw you and you slowly turned around to look at Nikolai who stood behind you protectively.

“Nik, can we have a moment?” You asked softly and turned around to look up at your brother.

He looked into the makeshift cell for a moment and then studied David and gave you a short nod.

“Okay. I’m not leaving this wing though.”

You nodded and watched as he made his way back down the hall before you walked inside of the cell and gave David a little smile.

The Durast gave you a small, awkward wave due to the shackles on his wrists that held his hands apart and he seemed to relax tenfold.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he began, taking a step towards you, “I kind of hoped you would’ve ran somewhere besides Ravka.” He confessed and let out a very small laugh.

“I didn’t really know where else to go.” You admitted and then shook your head, “But it’s really, really great to see you, David. I was worried that perhaps something happened to you. Or that you’d given your loyalty to the Darkling. Neither were necessarily preferable.” You said with a slight shake of your head.

You turned around and slowly pushed the door closed so that it was only open about an inch and you turned back to David, letting out a quiet sigh.

“He lives?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper.

David eyed you with trepidation and finally nodded just once.

“He does.” He confirmed, his lips tugging themselves downwards into a frown.

“I don’t understand how that’s possible, Alina told me he was swarmed by volcra.” You folded your arms over your chest and looked up at David.

David was never an overly confident presenting man to begin with, always holding himself with gracelessness and awkwardness, but he seemed smaller than usual now. He seemed almost fragile. He seemed much less awkward and instead afraid. He seemed to shrink back a bit at the topic and he pursed his lips and looked down into your eyes.

“He used very dark forces to keep himself alive.” He said slowly, eyes shifting away from yours, “I really wish you would’ve run away. Out of Ravka, y/n. There isn’t a safe place in this country. Not anymore.”

You kept your eyes on his face and you shook your head a couple of times, “I couldn’t abandon my family, David-“

“He’s not going to stop until he finds you.” He interjected sharply and then looked up at you with furrowed brows, “You were practically all he spoke about. If he wasn’t rambling on about his nichevo'ya or Alina, he was talking about you. He’s completely obsessed.”

You blinked a few times and then shook your head, as if that would make what he said less true.

“Let him obsess over finding me and delivering punishment for my ‘transgressions’ against him. It doesn’t mean he will.” You said in a small voice. You were unsure if you believed it, though.

“No, it was nothing like that. He’s reached a state of limerence, Princess. It’s a madness that I never thought I’d see in him. He has himself convinced fully that he’s going to rescue you from your family and put you on a throne next to himself. He still wears his wedding ring.” David explained, leaning his back up against the wall behind him.

Your ring seemed to burn through your skin when you heard this, and you realized you’d not moved it back onto your middle finger. Slowly, you clasped your hands behind your back, wanting to keep your hand out of sight now.

“I don’t understand,” you whispered, “he said that if I didn’t take his side that I’d be a traitor.”

David seemed to hesitate as he looked up at you and he pressed his lips together until there was no trace of them on his face. He finally swore under his breath and fidgeted with his fingers.

“I think that at one point, he loved you. But I think that love became… an obsession. Something he clung to in a way that simply cannot be healthy.” He said slowly, tapping on the wood that held his hands apart.

You could tell this conversation was making him uncomfortable and you felt a bit guilty for bringing it up.

“What does that mean, David?” You asked, despite a little voice in the back of your head telling you to drop it.

“I think it means that you need to get out of Ravka before he comes searching,” he paused for a moment and then shook his head, “because I worry that if he does find you again, you won’t be able to say no to him.” He said reluctantly.

You narrowed your eyes at David and you shook your head, “I’m very capable of resisting him. I ran from him once, I could do it again.”

David very slowly shook his head and he nodded towards you, swallowing one time, nervously.

“You still wear your ring, too.”

“Not because-“

“You don’t have to rationalize it to me, Princess. No one could blame you for missing the man you married. You relied upon him for comfort and protection for a while. You two had a very strange and unique bond. I’m sure that hasn’t been forgotten by you. While I don’t doubt your capabilities, Princess, I can’t in good conscience undermine his ability to crawl underneath your skin.” David stated in a shaky voice, as if he were afraid of your reaction.

He had a point, and you couldn’t deny that. Many times he’d found a way to make you give in to him, always knowing what would make you soften. He always used kind words and gentle touches to persuade you to see things from his perspective, always saying just what you wanted to hear from him. He would promise you he loved you, assure you that you were safe with him, he’d give you the affection and adoration you had sought after, and time after time, it proved effective.

He was a master of manipulation, you knew it. Everyone did.

Your eyes flickered to David and he gave you a sympathetic look, chewing on the inside of his cheek anxiously.

“I will not let him.” You finally answered, eyeing David with the same trepidation he had looked at you with earlier.

David shrugged slightly and he shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

“I’m not sure you’ll have a choice if he finds you.” He mumbled and then he looked around the room, avoiding your eyes, and just like that, you realized you’d lost another friend.

Your nose twitched and you realized that you’d really lost everyone. Your mother, your father, Vasily- even if he was truly insufferable. You’d lost your country’s favor, you were sure to lose Nikolai at this rate, and you seemingly already had lost David.

You lost Aleksander, too.

The thought hit you out of nowhere and you almost jumped by the way it had startled you.

Everything he had said would happen if you didn’t take his side, was happening, and you weren’t too sure how to handle it.

On one hand, you wanted to let it all roll right off your shoulder, to come off as unbothered and in control. On the other hand, though, you wanted to lash out and condemn everyone who had turned their back on you just because of him.

But the truth was, you weren’t in control, and you weren’t unbothered. Everyday became more difficult and everyday brought more accusatory stares. Some from Grisha, some from Mal Oretsev, most from your parents and Vasily, and some from a few of the First Army soldiers that came in and out. Now, you felt the same stare from David as he watched you from where he stood against the wall.

It was almost as if he was hearing you work all of this out in your head. You didn’t think he’d ever say it but you wondered if he was thinking “I told you so”.

What was the point of trying to prove everyone wrong when even the truth of the matter wouldn’t sway their convictions? Your case fell on a faulty jury, your judgment was passed by a thousand unjust judges.

Your truth wasn’t the truth they had decided on for you, and to them, it was just a story. A way to save face.

It didn’t matter what you said now, didn’t matter who you swore allegiance to. You were whatever they made you, and they made you more and more a villain everyday. No amount of reassurances and support from Nikolai could erase that.

The realization that your reputation was now as tainted as your husband’s made your eyebrows knit together in frustration. You slowly lifted your eyes up to David and you gave him a disparaging frown.

“I best be going.” You mumbled, not waiting for a farewell from the boy.

You turned on your heel and marched out of the cell, closing the door behind you with a force you didn’t fully intend on. You squared your shoulders and made your way back to the hallway where Nikolai stood and he gave you a small smile when he saw you.

“That was a little bit more brief than I expected.” Nikolai noted, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets.

“I heard all I needed to hear.” You replied, shortly.

“I take it by your tone that it wasn’t exactly what you wanted to hear.” He prodded, taking a step towards you.

You shrugged complacently.

“It never is.”

#grishaverse #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling imagine #the darkling x you #the darkling imagine #the darkling #the darkling x reader #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine

134 notes · View notes

thebadgerclan · 1 year

Text

Injured

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova

Summary: When you’re injured, Aleksander drops everything to get to you...

A/N: There’s talk of a wound being healed in this, but nothing overly graphic

When Aleksander received the letter, pure terror filled his heart. It had been delivered by a ragged looking First Army soldier, one who had clearly rode hard and fast from where he’d been sent. General Kirigan, the letter read. Your wife has been seriously injured. We have no Corporalki to heal her, please send reinforcements. He screamed for Ivan and Fedyor, and the Heartrenders were at his side at once.

“Prepare the coach and send it behind me,” Aleksander ordered as he ran to the stables. His seconds’ protests went unheard as he saddled his stallion and kicked him into a gallop. You’d been sent to Novokribirsk to help one of the First Army regiments rebuild a small village that had been ravaged by a fire. You hadn’t been gone a week, and the first word Aleksander received was that you were wounded.

It was panic, fear, and rage that made him push his mount harder, that made him ignore the fatigue and hunger and discomfort that came over him. When night fell, Aleksander pulled his hood up and pushed on, refusing to do more than slow to a canter when Midnight tired. After two days of nonstop riding, Aleksander reached the Fold, which in hindsight, he should have considered.

There was no time to wait for a sandskiff, not when you could be dying, so Aleksander took a risk. He wreathed himself and his horse in shadow and rode straight into the Fold. The eerie quiet only spurred him on, and an hour later, bright sunlight hit his face. The military encampment you were stationed at was only another mile away, and though Midnight protested, he soldiered on.

The First Army General was waiting when he arrived. “Where is she?” Aleksander demanded. “Where is Y/N? Where is my wife?” The General gestures for Aleksander to follow her, leading him into the medical tent with a grim look on her face. Your whimpers and cries of pain reached his ears immediately, which set your husband into a run.

He found you lying on a cot, blankets heaped atop you, your face pale and covered in sweat. “Y/N,” Aleksander breathed, falling to his knees at your side. You looked at him with glassy eyes, and for a moment, your husband worried you might not recognize him. But then you spoke. “Sasha?” “Yes, my love. I’m here, your Sasha’s here. All Saints, what happened?” A corporal who had been seated at your side cleared her throat.

“The village we were aiding was a stronghold for anti-Grisha sentiment,” she explained. “We had Y/N in First Army clothes, but when she used her power….” Anger flared in Aleksander’s chest, but he tamped it down. He would deal with whoever thought it was a good idea to send you to such a village later. “Our medics did what they could, but she needs a Healer.”

“Ivan and Fedyor are on their way. Please, leave us.” The Corporal nodded, leaving you and your husband alone. “Aleksander,” you whimpered. “Sasha, it hurts.” Your husband found your hand beneath your blankets and grasped it, squeezing tightly. “I know my love, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t take the pain away. But Ivan and Fedyor will be here soon, I promise.” A tear slid down your cheek, and your husband bent to kiss your forehead.

Your skin was burning hot against his lips, which Aleksander knew was not a good sign. Your breathing was labored and shallow, and Aleksander felt tears welling in his own eyes. “Sasha?” “I’m right here, my love,” he assured. “I’m not going anywhere.” “How did you get here so fast?” you asked, voice ragged and weak. “You needed me,” he answered. “As soon as I got word that you were hurt, I was riding out here to you. I didn’t stop once.”

“What about the…” you trailed off, seeming to lose consciousness. “The Fold?” “I rode straight through.” You hummed, your eyes shutting. “Try to sleep, my darling. I’m not leaving your side.” But you were already asleep, eyes moving rapidly behind your eyelids. True to his word, Aleksander did not once leave your side, not when the same Corporal from earlier offered him food, not when it was suggested he sleep.

It was a struggle to keep his eyes open, but Aleksander refused to sleep. When the sound of horses hooves was heard outside the next morning, he perked up, and when Ivan and Fedyor walked in, your husband thought he might sob. “Moi sovernnyi,” Ivan greeted, tossing his cloak aside and preparing to get to work. “Where is the wound?” “On her abdomen,” the Corporal answered. Apparently she hadn’t left your side once before Aleksander’s arrival–he’d have to see about promoting her.

Fedyor pulled the blankets and your clothes back, sucking in a breath at the sight that met him. It was a large wound and had been packed, but was in desperate need of a dressing change. “This will be easier if we put her under,” Fedyor said. “She won’t feel any pain.” “Y/N, sweetheart,” Aleksander said, shaking your shoulder gently. “Ivan is going to put you to sleep while Fedyor helps you, alright?” You nodded, the movement barely noticeable, and Ivan dropped you into a coma.

“Sir,” Ivan said. “Perhaps you should–” “If you think I’m leaving her side, you’re delusional.” His second nodded, and the Heartrenders got to work. The packing was removed, revealing the full extent of your wound to their gaze. “It’s infected,” Fedyor stated, your overly-heated skin making more sense. “I have to strip away the infected tissue before I can go any further.

Aleksander nodded. “Do what you have to do.” Your husband didn’t watch as Fedyor worked, but kept his gaze on your face, peaceful in the sleep Ivan had you under. For hours, his Heartrenders worked, removing infected tissue, grafting clean, healthy tissue from your arm into the wound. Aleksander kept your hand in his, whispering words of love and reassurance to you, wondering if you could hear him.

He crooned a lullaby to you in Old Ravkan, one he’d sung many times to you when you couldn’t sleep, hoping the melody would soothe you. Night had fallen and lanterns had been brought in so Fedyor could continue to work. Just before dawn, the Heartrender slumped back, his face glowing from the use of his power, but utterly exhausted. “It’s done,” Fedyor said. “She’ll be in some pain for a while, but the wound is closed.”

Indeed, where the gaping wound had been hours before, there was now a patch of new, pink skin. When Aleksander touched your forehead, he found that your fever had broken, and he sighed in relief. “Thank you,” he said, rising from the seat he hadn’t vacated in nearly a day to take Fedyor and Ivan’s hands. “Thank you for saving her. I am in your debt.”

Fedyor had fallen asleep, but Ivan bowed his head. “It is our honor, moi soverennyi,” he said. “I understand you’re both exhausted, but when can we move her? I want her home.” “She is stable, sir, but I would give her time to rest before moving her to the coach. Perhaps until midday.” “If that’s what you think is best.”

So Aleksander returned to your side, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “My love,” he whispered. “My Y/N, I love you.” This time, when a hot bath and meal was offered to him, Aleksander accepted, though he hurried to be back at your side. You had yet to awaken, which Ivan assured you was normal, and when midday arrived, your husband summoned the coach.

His Heartrenders had rearranged the interior of the coach: a makeshift bed now stretched across half of the inside, the seats folded to the walls, half of one remained out for Aleksander. It took four people to get you inside, and once you were, your husband fussed over the blankets and pillows until he was certain you’d be comfortable. Ivan gave you one last examination, and when he deemed you fit for travel, you were off.

The going was slow at Aleksander’s insistence, wanting the jostle you as little as possible. When you reached the Fold, the coach was loaded onto a sandskiff, the horses left in Novokribrisk. You remained asleep through the Fold, but when you arrived in Kribirsk, you stirred. “Aleksander?” you asked, and while your voice was tired, you sounded more alert. “I’m here, Y/N.”

“Where are we?” “Kribirsk,” your husband explained. “Ivan and Fedyor healed you, and we set off soon after. You’ve been asleep for about a day.” You nodded, and at your request, Aleksander helped you to sit up, piling pillows behind you. “Sweetheart, what happened?” “I used my power, and one of the villagers came at me with a knife. I don’t remember much after that.”

“You’re alive, that’s all that matters.” You nodded, and your husband kissed you, letting his lips linger against yours for several minutes. “I love you so much, Y/N. So, so much.” “I love you too, Aleksander,” you replied, kissing him again. When you arrived at the Little Palace you were ushered to the Hospital Wing, where Aleksander insisted you receive a complete examination. Only when he was satisfied that you were healthy did you return to your rooms, where your husband doted on you for several days.

#aleksander morozova x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #shadow and bone

589 notes · View notes

stromuprisahat · 1 year

Text

Goodbye, S&B Genya!

Siege and Storm- Chapter 2

This time it is Genya, who earned the position of honour, acting as Alina’s babysitter. Last they saw each other properly, Alina treated her abominably. Unfortunatelly, Genya doesn’t seem to remember that, or she’s so desperate for companionship she doesn’t mind, or worse- mistakes it for affection.

I love Genya’s teasing. It’s her way of lightening the atmosphere, distracting Alina from her negative moods. She could come across as uppity bitch, except she never really means it badly.

The worst thing about toxic people in our past is missing them.

Alina wants to know, if Genya was her friend, but was she hers? We always saw Genya being the giving side of their relationship, Alina did exactly one (1) nice thing for her. How little’s enough for Genya to call Alina friend? A bit of attention, not even a shoulder to cry on, because the moment Alina’s forced to face her “friend’s” reality, she shames and abandons her for own comfort and love interest.

Are you sorry for someone else’s actions you had no control over? But then again Alina likes to feel responsible for Malyen’s decisions, so it’s only fair to expect the same from others.

Huge fan of Alina’s pose of wise and experienced know-it-all. She knows better, because someone else told her. It’s been so long... like few weeks. The Darkling’s what, not who. Baghra’s words are automatically the truth. And the Darkling’s only concern is power, because why would anyone do anything, right? (Plus he’s evil and evil people like power!) That’s the scenario that fits Alina’s worldview, and it’s just so much easier to keep an eye on interpretation, than change your mindsets.

Alina’s thinking rarely goes further than a step ahead. No wonder whole speech the Darkling gave in the Fold didn’t leave any trace in her mind. Novokribirsk’s destruction is immediate effect. That’s where it ends for her. Why would anyone cause something so horrible? For their ego! (Reminds me of saying in Czech- Podle sebe soudím tebe.- something like “I judge you by myself.”)

There’s also the issue of Schrödinger’s Novokribirsk- when both the size of the inhibited area and its destruction kept changing through the books. Even with that on mind, Alina sounds pretty delusional.

No! Don’t bother Alina with these questions! She doesn’t want to think about it!

A few soldiers from the First Army made it back...

Conveniently silenced, I suppose. Wouldn’t want anyone to know the bright new Sun Saint’s a murderer and a traitor...

How many people had been aboard that sandskiff? Thirty? Forty?

Sixty at least, but nevermind... Alina feels sick? Wow, I’m sure those dead are relieved you’re not feeling well. Certainly helps with their situation. ... and that’s the difference between “doing what you have to” and being a monster, isn’t it? At some point you should make sure you mention how bad you’re feeling...

I’d sacrificed those people for Mal’s life, for my freedom, and in the end, they’d died for nothing.

Malyen’s life 96 %

“freedom” 4 %

Why was it all for nothing? Whose fault is that? It’s not about bad luck or circumstances, but (Malyen and) Alina’s stupidity.

No! Why would you say that?! You’re talking to a traitor, deserter, who doesn’t give a crap about anything but herself! How is this the same person as the one few lines earlier, asking about the skiff?! Some character consistency, please?! If Genya tried to comfort her with “You did what you thought/believed you had to do.”, I’d let it pass, but this way?!

Alina's conctantly doing her best to upset Genya. For trying to comfort her.

harsh bark of laughter ... yanked my hand away... She looked down at her lap, pleating and unpleating the folds of her kefta.

Loud, abrupt noises and actions trigger nervous tic in Genya. She turns defensive.

Something about this passage doesn’t sit well with me. As if the King were some minor antagonist, not a fucking rapist leech. As if Genya should’ve considered him as a choice.

So, Alina thinks Grisha can just freely emigrate?! Start a new life somewhere else? This sounds like they’re just visiting Ravka for holidays...

How much does Genya know about the pogroms?

Ahahahaha... We all serve someone. Grisha are always Crown’s property, their uniform doesn’t free them from service!

Protected? Do you mean possibly not beaten to death by an angry mob, but allowed to die on front? Favoured as in eating well and better supplied, because their general cares? But realizing that would require Alina to take interest in other people’s lives...

Earn the right to wear red? It’s NOT a fashion statement! She was a part of Queen’s household! The Darkling needed to get her out before changing her kefta! The only way to take royals’ toy away from them is to make sure they’re no longer in position to make you regret it. There’s no red kefta for Genya with Lantsovs at helm!

Once again, Alina’s list of priorities is just astonishing!

Genya’s already re-written here. She doesn’t conveniently mention the Darkling gave her the chance to send the letters later. What’s this Genya’s play?! Why blame him, denying her own agency?

“You decide,” he says. “I’ll have the letters brought to you.”

“You kept them?”

“Post them. Give them back to her. Do whatever you think best.”

I watch him closely. This feels like some kind of trick. “You can’t mean that.”

He looks at me over his shoulder, his gray eyes cool. “Old bonds,” he says as he gives the horse a final pat and pushes off from the fence. “They can do nothing for Alina but tie her to a life long gone.”

The paper is starting to fray beneath my fingers. “She’s suffering.”

He stops my fidgeting with the briefest touch of his hand. His power flows through me, calming, the steady rush of a river. Best not to think where the current may take me.

“You’ve suffered, too,” he says.

...

I think of Alina’s too-thin fingers gripping the edge of the sheet, the hope she can’t hide in her pale, expressive face as she writes out the tracker’s name. I open the black wood box, and I feed the letters to the fire, one by one. It hurts, but I can bear it. Because I am a doll, and a servant. Because I am a pretty thing and a soldier all the same.

In The Tailor, Genya thinks the Darkling’s testing her somehow. I’d argue he took it as an educational opportunity. Genya’s one of his most promising spies, he’s teaching her to make tougher choices, counting with her for higher position with greater responsibilities that would require making less palatable decisions. Even as an ordinary spy, she’d need to lie to and hurt people she personally likes.

Because friendship with a girl, who takes and takes and takes, but never gives (except for that ~one~ moment) should always come before duty, vengeance and better life for everyone.

Also love those moments, when Alina admits the Darkling’s right somehow, but doesn’t let it bother her, just keeps going on...

Wow, I almost feel bad for her. If only Alina got her head out of her ass and gave ~anyone~ a reason to care about her...

Once again, huge fan of choice of words...

44 notes · View notes

is-today-tomorrow-in-nz · 4 months

Note

When I first read the book, I wondered, how Zoya being in the inner circle didn't know about the Novokribirsk plan. I believe, the Darkling saw how much of a risk she was when she attacked Alina and kicked her out of his trusted circle.

This made me think what would have happened if that Alina incident had never happened and he told her about the plan? Would she try to get him to change his plan? Ask for permission to write to her aunt to get away first? Would he have listened to any of this?

Thank you the question. I took a long time to think ponder over it.

Before going to the answer, let's consider Zoya's main personality traits. She is angry, jealous, vindictive, social climber and has a tendency to lash out on people when things don't go her way. She is also very particular about her position and how others view her.

So, let's assume, Zoya never attacked Alina in the training grounds. This doesn't necessarily mean she stops seeing Alina as a threat. So she would still continue to attack her verbally and find ways to bully her. She would try spreading rumours using her gang of followers or reveal Alina's inablity to summon. Or she would try to bring herself closer to the Darkling while bad mouthing Alina( like the one episode in season 1 where she does it post Winter Fell when Sasha was frantically looking for Alina).

Considering all the above, I don't think the Darkling would have kept her long in his inner circle. One way or the other, through her own rashness or insecurity, she would have revealed her hand making the Darkling see her as a threat. Not to mention Genya, who was faithfully reporting on Alina to the Darkling. So she definitely would have brought this to his attention. Either way, the Darkling would gave come to realise her true nature and would have excluded her from his plans.

#the darkling #anti zoya #shadow and bone #grishaverse #aleksander morozova #alina starkov

32 notes · View notes

rose-sophia-isabella-rogers · 4 months

Text

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter VII - Crystal Clear

Chapter Summary: Kirigan reveals his plans to the world. He tries to use his and Alina's powers to bring the world to his heel. Things don't exactly go as he planned. What will you choose? Your morals… or your heart?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Alina Starkov/Mal Oretsev

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Ivan, Zoya Nazyalensky, Alina Starkov, Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Feliks

Word Count: 3861

A/N: This chapter contains plot and dialogues from eight episode of season one. Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089797846/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089958427/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389090332681/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798508/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798536/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

You shiver, looking at the Fold around you. You wonder why you were so stupid to come here voluntarily. Oh, yes. Your idiot. Aleksander, who is currently standing next to you is the reason.

'Can you feel them?' he asks after you pass the fifth mark.

'No heartbeats yet, sir,' Ivan, to whom the question was directed at, answers. He's holding his hands together, acting as your radar against the Volcras. You really hope you won't encounter them. But you don't count on it.

Of course, at that moment you hear them growling. You glance nervously at Aleksander.

'They're coming,' Alina says.

'Yes,' Kirigan confirms.

'I should just tear this down now,' Starkov says.

'And what can you really do on your own?' General asks, putting his right hand on his chest. The hand with the amplifier. Both you and Alina look at it, then at Kirigan.

'Besides, it would be a monumental waste of power,' he says, glancing behind you at other passengers.

'[Y/N],' Alina says quietly, looking at you pleadingly. You glance at her and look at Aleksander.

'You want to show off, don't you?' you murmur under your breath to him.

'No, I want to demonstrate our power,' Kirigan denies.

'That's the same,' you argue. 'Also- Oh. Zlatan.'

'Smart girl,' General praises you. You think about what's going to happen.

'I hate this plan,' you say after a moment.

'I told you not to come,' Aleksander says. You elbow him on the side. Discreetly. But so it would still hurt.

A few moments later you can hear Volcra's screeching becoming louder and closer. You glance nervously at Ivan.

'Do something,' Alina pleads Kirigan urgently. He doesn't, so she brings her hands together.

'No,' Aleksander stops her, putting a hand on her shoulder. 'Remember who's driving.'

A burst of light comes out of Alina. It creates a protective tunnel around you, all the way to the end of the Fold. Kirigan lets go of Starkov and her shoulders slump. Ivan drops his hands as well. He doesn't have to search for Volcras anymore.

'Your power is mine now,' General says to Starkov.

'Okay, I feel a bit safer,' you murmur. But around you people are whispering, wondering what is the meaning of this. For a moment you sail in peace.

'Why this half measure?' Alina asks Aleksander at some point. 'Why just… carve a tunnel? You have me. You have this. Destroy the Fold. You said we could.'

'And why would we destroy the Fold?' Kirigan asks. 'It's the greatest weapon that we've got.'

Alina looks at him, betrayed. She tries to catch your eyes. But you're too busy looking at the Unsea with unease to notice this.

Finally, you can see Novokribirsk and people waiting for you there. General Zlatan and his men. You stop just at the end of the tunnel.

'Why have we stopped?' one of the diplomats asks.

'One more demonstration,' Aleksander says, turning to others. 'You've seen what the Sun Summoner can do. Now bear witness to what I can do… with her power.'

People send him confused glances. Alina tries to move, but can't. Kirigan walks to her.

'Whatever it is you want me to do, I won't do it,' she hisses.

'You've done your part,' General says, facing the end of the Fold. 'Now I shall do mine.'

He brings his hands together and concentrates. The air whooshes as… the Fold expands. You watch with horror as the people in Novokribirsk run with panic, screaming. Zoya shows up next to you, shocked and horrified as well, and grabs your hand. You squeeze it.

'What have you done?' Alina asks. She concentrates and raises her hand, using her power to create a protective barrier around the city.

'No, you don't,' Kirigan says, turning to her. He grabs her hand and forces it down. Alina grunts and falls on her knees and her barrier disappears, leaving only the one around your skiff. Aleksander crouches in front of her grabs her shoulder.

'They are traitors who tried to kill you,' he says. 'This is retribution.'

Starkov pulls herself from his grasp and falls back. She stares at General with disbelief. He looks at you and other Grisha. Zoya takes a few steps back, shocked, and bumps into Feliks. She walks around him, turning her back to you. Kirigan looks you in the eyes. Your heart cries for all those people… but you give him a slight nod. You're with him till the end. You can see the relief in his eyes. He quickly masks it, though, and stands up to face the diplomats again.

'Today, we redraw all the maps,' he says, walking around the skiff. 'With the power of the Sun Summoner at my command, I control the Fold. And its monsters. I can move it to any border I like. Engulf any harbour. Consume any city. Take what you have seen back to your home countries. Tell the Fjerdans. Tell the Shu Han. There will be no more war with Ravka. All countries will answer to us. For who would oppose us now?'

He gets his answer very quickly, because suddenly Mal pushes his way through the people, shooting at the guards. You want to put yourself in front of Aleksander, but Ivan grabs your shoulder tightly.

'Mal!' Alina shouts. The tracker fires again. Kirigan nods at Ivan. The Heartrender lets you go. He brings his hands together and takes control of Mal's body, forcing him to fall.

'Mal,' Starkov pants, panicked, trying to crawl to him.

'Keep him alive,' Aleksander says. 'He could be useful to us.'

'Alina,' Mal grunts. Kirigan nods at you. You bring your hands together and focus on Mal's gun that lies on the deck. It stirs, then flies in the air. You throw it overboard.

'Focus,' Aleksander says harshly to Alina, forcing her up on her knees. 'You put your attention on the light that's keeping us all safe, or your friend dies now.'

Starkov looks up and sees the barrier going down. She focuses, glaring at Aleksander, and spreads her arms. She raises them and with that the barrier becomes brighter and goes up again. Once she's done it, she collapses again, while the Darkling gets up.

'General Kirigan, this will only turn the world against you and all Grisha,' the diplomat from before says, bravely stepping forward. 'You'll be seen not as a saviour, but a heretic.'

'She does have a point,' you say quietly. Aleksander glares at you. You stare at him calmly. He ignores you and looks at Ivan.

'Don't-' you start, understanding what's he about to do. Same as the diplomats' guards, as they cock their guns and point them at you three, standing protectively in front of the diplomats. But Ivan stands in front of Aleksander… and stops everyone's hearts. They fall on the deck with groans.

'Shame,' Kirigan says, standing next to Ivan and looking at the dead. 'I'll have to give that speech again now.'

You almost scoff. You stare at the dead people and wonder how low have you fallen. And how lower you're going to.

But your thoughts are interrupted by the skiff moving. You all look up. Aleksander walks toward the main sail.

'Zoya?' he calls but she doesn't react. 'Zoya!'

Suddenly, a gunshot is heard and Ivan falls to the side. You quickly notice the two thieves from Ketterdam. When the first one fires the second shot, you turn the bullet around. They both have to duck.

Too late you notice the third thief. She throws her dagger. You can't bring your hands together in time. So, you jump in front of Aleksander. You gasp when the blade lands in your chest.

'No!' you hear Kirigan scream behind you. You calmly stare back at the shocked woman. You grab her dagger and pull it out of your chest with a grunt. You throw it on the deck. There's no blood on it.

'New kefta,' you explain. 'Still have to do something about it being so heavy… hence while I was grunting so much if anyone's wondering… but it appears it efficiently protects against sharp things being thrown at you.'

You turn to Aleksander. You're not sure whether he's more relieved or angry. He decides on the second one, apparently, because he brings his hands together and covers you all in shadows.

'You stay in the dark,' he says. You look around nervously, hearing the Volcras. Soon the first attacks Zoya, causing her to fall a bit.

'Zoya!' you cry her name and rush forward a bit. You watch how the thief tries to protect herself and the Squaller. And how the second one saves her.

Suddenly, someone stumbles on you and you fall on the railing. You turn your head and see Alina standing, Ivan on the ground and Aleksander trying to regain his balance. His amplifier falls in front of you on the deck. Oh. When did that happen?

'Your first words to me were, "What are you?"' Alina says to Kirigan, who's cradling his injured hand, and brings her hands together. 'This is what I am.'

She spreads her hands and light bursts from her. Far brighter than ever before. You can't help but watch with awe as she forces the Fold back from you.

'Beautiful,' you whisper and immediately look at Aleksander. He takes out the dagger from his hand.

'How do you claim such power?' he asks, his voice strained from pain because of the wound. 'I am the one who killed the Stag.'

'I didn’t understand before, but I do now,' Alina answers. 'You cannot claim what was not given to you. The Stag chose me.'

She brings her hands together again. Aleksander stands up.

'You chose to betray our people,' he says with venom. 'I was trying to save us.'

He raises his hand. But before he can do anything, Mal throws himself at him, causing them both to fall overboard.

'No!' you and Alina cry out, bending over the railing. You worry for Kirigan, she for her tracker.

'Mal!' she shouts.

'Aleksander!' you shout at the same time. The men stand up and start fighting. You think how to safely get down there, when Alina's eyes suddenly go wide and blood runs from her nose. She grabs her chest and turns around. You do the same and see Ivan with his hand outstretched toward Starkov.

'How dare you?' he asks her, as she groans in pain and falls on her knees. 'He gave you everything. Remember your place.'

The light arounds you go out. You look up in panic.

'Ivan, stop,' you say. 'Stop or-'

You're interrupted by another gunshot. Ivan falls to the side and Alina on the ground, out. The Heartrender starts fighting with the first thief. It ends with the rogue shooting Ivan again… causing your friend to fall overboard.

'Ivan!' you shriek.

'Still couldn't shoot the pretty face,' the thief sighs. 'I've got to stop doing that.'

He turns to you. You eye each other.

'Are you with us or against us?' he asks, pointing his gun at you. 'Come on, don't tell me you approve all of that.'

He's right. You don't. For a brief moment you consider joining the people trying to stop this madness. But that would mean betraying your best friend. And without him… you're alone.

'What did I tell you?' you ask quietly, clasping your hands together. The man groans, as the gun in his hand becomes incredibly hot. He drops it and waves his hand around. When he looks up, you're standing on the railing.

'Okay, what are you-' he starts but you jump and don't hear the end of the sentence. You fall on the sand with a grunt. You lift yourself up just to see Volcra attacking Aleksander. Your heart stops.

Mal turns around, ready to run back on the skiff, but freezes, seeing you getting up. Your eyes meet.

'Help Alina,' you say. 'She needs you.'

You start running toward Aleksander. Mal is about to stop you, but decides against it. It's not like you have a chance against a Volcra. So, he leaves you behind to die and runs to the skiff.

He can't go down like this. Not by Volcras that are his creations. But no matter how hard he tries he can't control them. The Volcra opens its mouth to bite his face… and shrieks in pain.

Aleksander's eyes go wide, as the monster falls from him on the sand, revealing you. Your hands are brought together and you're glaring at the monster with fury in your eyes.

'Not. My. Best. Friend,' you say through gritted teeth. The Volcra shrieks again and blood spurts from its mouth. It doesn't move again. Kirigan stares at you with shock.

'[Y/N],' he says, stunned. He reaches his hand to you. You're about to grasp it… but you suddenly gasp and you freeze, your eyes going wide. You're raised in the air and it turns out another Volcra has attacked you from behind.

'No!' General screams, grabbing your hand in panic. 'No, not her! Leave her! Take me! Please!'

Tears form in your eyes at those words. You smile sadly at your best friend and gasp, when the Volcra's claws dig into your back.

'Aleksander…' you gasp. 'Let go…'

No. Never. Not you. The only one that's stayed with him until the end. There must be a way to save you. He'll do anything.

Anything.

Pain seizes him, as he feels merzost feeding on his body. He watches, stunned, as a creature of shadows seems to be leaving his body. It groans and throws itself on the Volcra. It kills it before it can screech.

You fall down limply, unconscious. Kirigan, who's let go of your hand when the creature threw itself at the Volcra, thrusts himself forward to catch you. But the creature is faster. It catches you and gently lowers you down. It hands you to Aleksander.

'[Y/N],' he says, shaking you gently. '[Y/N], please. Come back to me.'

'General!' he hears. He looks up and sees Ivan trying to get to them. A Volcra is chasing him.

'Kill it,' Aleksander orders. Another creature forms itself from him and quickly kills the Volcra, allowing the stunned Heartrender to reach them. He falls on his knees and looks at you.

'Help her,' Kirigan orders. 'Now. I need her.'

Ivan brings his hands together, trying to find the source of the problem. He feels the wounds on your back and tries to heal them as best as he can. You grunt and stir. Your eyes flutter open. General exhales with utmost relief.

'Aleksander…' you whisper.

'I'm here,' Kirigan says softly and scoops you up in his arms. 'Let's get you out of here.'

He and Ivan walk. The Heartrender checks on you every now and then. But you seem to come back slowly to yourself.

Finally, you stumble out of the Fold. You all exhale deeply. Aleksander turns his head.

'Follow,' he barks and starts walking. His two shadow creatures get out of the Fold and follow you three, growling. You look at them with wide eyes. Somehow you didn't notice them in the Unsea. Maybe because they seem to be made from the same substance as it.

'What did you do?' you ask in a horrified whisper. Kirigan doesn't answer. He just takes you away from the Fold.

Some time later you're all huddled in front of the fire. It's night. You're exhausted and scared. Because everything is going to be different now. There's no way you can just come back to the Little Palace as if nothing happened back in the Fold.

'I'll take first watch,' Ivan grunts and gets up. He walks away from you two. For a moment, you and General sit in silence.

'It was very foolish what you did,' Aleksander finally says. 'You could have died.'

'So could have you,' you retort. 'But I guess you'd create that… creatures to save yourself. But I couldn't know that.'

'I didn't either,' Kirigan says. 'Thank you.'

'Right back at you,' you say. You tear your gaze from the fire and look at him. He has a haunted look in his eyes.

'I thought I can finally end this,' he says. 'That we could finally be safe. I had… everything, all that power. And now… no Sun Summoner. No army. No way of transport. Nothing.'

You look at him with pain in your eyes. You reach out to him and grasp his hand tightly. He looks up at you. Your eyes meet.

'You have me,' you say. 'Until every star in the galaxy dies… you have me.'

Aleksander looks at you closely. He turns his hand to be able to answer your grasp.

'You could have stayed,' he says quietly. 'With them. The only thing you did against them was saving me. You didn't agree with what I did. Miss Starkov knew that. If you stayed… you'd be safe.'

His eyes urge you to say something. But you stay quiet. Because you know he's right.

'And now?' he asks and scoffs. 'You're going to be hunted if they find out you're alive. You already almost died because of your decision to jump. You risked so much for me. Why would you do such a thing?'

You turn your head to the side. In the corner of your eye you see Ivan trying very hard not to listen in to your conversation. But he still looks at you, giving you a pointed look. Urging you to tell him. Your heart skips a beat.

'We do terrible things for the people we love,' you say, your voice void of any emotions. You notice Ivan stiffening, waiting with anticipation for General's answer. You turn your face to look at your best friend. He's looking at you with a frown.

'I don't deserve such a loyal friend,' he finally says. Your heart breaks. You almost hear Ivan groaning in frustration. You look down, not wanting Aleksander to see how much his answer hurt you.

'I almost betrayed you,' you admit. 'On the skiff. Before I jumped. I was horrified by everything that's happened today. My moral part wanted me to indeed stay. I went to war with myself. For you.'

'You shouldn't have,' Kirigan says. 'I… I've done terrible things. For the Grisha, yes, but like you said, things that horrify you. You shouldn't follow someone who's done them.'

'Aren't we all sinners?' you ask, looking at him again with a small smile.

'I doubt any sin you've committed makes you doomed enough to force you to stay with me,' Aleksander says.

'Well, it's a good thing then I don't need to be forced, right?'

'Leave. I mean it. It's not too late for you. But if you stay… you may do things you don't want to do.'

'You're risking everything for all of us. Let someone risk the same for you.'

Kirigan frowns at you. You're still a puzzle he can't figure out. His heart is moved by your words and actions. He quickly shuts it up.

'We should sleep,' he says after a minute. 'Ivan won't wake us up later just because we didn't get enough sleep.'

'No, he won't,' you agree, a bit amused, with a sad smile. Aleksander lays down with his back turned to both of you. Your face falls. Sadness flashes in your eyes.

'[Y/N]-' Ivan starts when he's sure exhausted General is asleep.

'Don't,' you interrupt him. 'I don't need your pity.'

'You know it's not a pity,' the Heartrender says softly.

'Just… please,' you say, blinking away the tears. 'I can't allow myself to be weak today.'

'You're anything but weak,' Ivan says after a moment. You don't say anything to that. You lay down, your back to Kirigan, and close your eyes. Almost immediately you fall asleep.

An hour later Aleksander is woken up by a scream. He sits up straight, thinking they're under attack. He looks around with a wide look in his eyes, calling for his creatures.

'Wake up!' he hears Ivan's voice. He turns his head and sees the Heartrender shaking you. You're trashing around on the ground, tears streaming down your face, whimpering.

'[Y/N],' Aleksander says and throws himself at you. '[Y/N], wake up. It's just a bad dream. You're safe. You-'

He's interrupted by a fist meeting his nose. He falls backward, bewildered. He touches his bleeding nose with wide eyes.

But at least you're awake. You sit up with wide eyes, breathing heavily.

'W-what?' you ask, looking around in confusion.

'You had a bad dream,' Ivan explains, caressing your back soothingly. 'We had to wake you up.'

'O-oh… thank you,' you say. Your eyes fall on Kirigan. They go wide when you see what you've done to him.

'Saints… General, I'm so sorry,' you say and attempt to reach out to him. Ivan stops you and goes himself to fix Kirigan. The wounded grunts. The Heartrender is not a Healer after all.

'Aleksander,' General says. Ivan freezes. You frown. Kirigan looks at you.

'I don't think there's any point to sticking to formalities,' he says. 'Not in your case.'

'And what makes me so special?' you ask quietly.

'You're my best friend,' Aleksander answers. 'My most trusted Grisha.'

'Now you're hurting Ivan's feelings,' you say.

'I'm alright,' the Heartrender quickly says. You glare at him.

'Ivan is close behind you,' Kirigan says and looks at you. 'So, from now on, even when we're not alone, you address me by my name. If anyone's earned that right, it's you. Understood?'

'Alright,' you concede and look at him with guilt. 'I am still sorry for your nose.'

'It's fine,' Kirigan says and pauses. 'But tell me… what did you dream about?'

Your eyes darken. You dreamt about you not getting to him in time. You saw him being taken away. Dying. You shiver.

'Volcras,' that's all you say. Aleksander nods.

'I imagine almost dying by their claws is nightmare triggering,' he says.

'Yes,' you say and look at Ivan. 'I'm not going to be able to fall asleep for some time. Go get some rest.'

'Forgive me, but I'm too tired to protest,' Ivan says and goes to lay down.

'Are you going to be okay?' Aleksander asks softly.

'Sleep,' you say. 'I won't let you when it's your turn, just because you didn't get enough sleep.'

Kirigan cracks a smile and lays down. He's exhausted, too. Soon both men are asleep. You hug yourself, as you sit in the place Ivan's been not long ago.

You think about your future. It's going to be so much different than you life until now. You're going to fight, you know it. Probably with people you were living with. Alina. Zoya. Maybe Fedyor, David, Genya… This whole country is going to be now against you.

But it's alright. They haven't shown you much kindness before. Only Aleksander did. Ivan in some way, too. So, if someone's going to hurt them, especially Kirigan… you're going to make them bleed on the inside. Every one of them.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/134069857

38 notes · View notes