#now I'm dedicated to get this bitch of a degree and if it kills me

[tardis--dreams]

I can write 5 term papers à 8000 words in 2 months!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

8 + Daddy kink, perhaps? 👀

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: E

Contents: Daddy kink, masturbation, anal fingering, anal sex, BDSM, multiple orgasms, praise kink, humiliation kink, aftercare, very brief mention of child abuse, light feminization, suicidal thoughts/tendencies (but in the 'I have been minorly inconvenienced and I am now writing my will, oh woe is me, you shall miss when I'm gone' kind of way)

It's such a goddamn cliche that he has a fucking daddy kink. Oh ho, the kid whose dad treated him like he was the whole world and then shifted to beating him, ignoring him, and then finally abandoning him to a gruesome death likes to call people 'daddy' while getting fucked? Big surprise. What's worse is that he didn't used to have a daddy kink. The first time he'd been getting fucked and his partner had growled, "You like having Daddy's cock in you, don't you, bitch?", Dabi had immediately recoiled, and the guy had been lucky to just walk away with second degree burns, unfinished, and alive. It had made his skin crawl and he'd felt vile. Had switched to just topping for a long while after that. Then it happened again. Was fucking a woman hard and they were both thoroughly enjoying it, and she'd been very, very vocal. He was sure they were gonna get someone pounding on her apartment door. But she'd screamed, "Harder, Daddy, harder!", and Dabi had immediately gone soft. Went from them both having a good time to neither of them finishing and having to part awkwardly because they both were very clear on why it had happened. The point is that he didn't used to have a daddy kink, it used to repulse him. 

It was some extra cruel twist of fate that it reared its ugly head when he'd developed a slightly insane and possibly suicidal crush on his weird boss. Apparently he and Spinner have two things in common, wanting to uphold Stain's ideology, and thinking that Tomura, bleeding, broken, shirtless, and his hair bleached white by his quirk, standing in the rubble of a ruined city-- was hot as fuck. The major difference is that Spinner is repressed as fuck and just thinks that he's super dedicated to Shigaraki's cause now, and not that he wants to fuck nasty with their Grand Commander. Dabi, on the other hand, knows exactly what he's about and he wants to be about Shigaraki on his dick or his dick inside of him. It's unfortunate, then, that the switch over to the PLF also came with a shit ton more work as they restructured things and Duster having to go away for a while to get treated because of the aforementioned broken and bleeding. Which means that Dabi is left, unable to see if he gets dusted for propositioning his boss, and frustratingly horny because he also didn't want to fuck one of the grunts and have Duster hear about that. He can't imagine Shig would take him seriously if he heard that he was racking up a non-arson related body count and then asked him to go to bed with him too. 

They've got plastic now though, private rooms, and everyone already knows not to bother him once he's left the main floor for work shit unless the police or heroes are about to break down the door, so he figures that he's good to get himself a dildo and a stroker and take care of himself. And that helps take the edge off, definitely. Manages to tide him over until Shig comes back from his first round of treatments, and Dabi doesn't waste any time. 

He waits until they're alone one night, finishing going over some of the reports that Duster's missed while he's been getting healed. When Shig stands to grab something from his desk, Dabi stands too, follows him and steps in close, and murmurs, "If I asked you to go to bed with me, would I get killed? Or would you just demote me?" 

Sees a flicker of surprise go through those pretty red eyes that they've gotten to see a lot more since Shig stopped wearing the nasty hands all over his face. And then they go so dark that Dabi's breath hitches in the back of his throat. "If you asked me," and Dabi feels the tables turn as Shigaraki moves closer to him. They're nearly the same height, Dabi is just a bit taller, but he doesn't feel it as Shigaraki's eyes drag over him. "I would take you to bed, and all you would have to worry about is telling me if I give you more than you can handle." 

They don't make it to bed. Dabi has never been happier to be a career slut because there is a sachet of lube in his coat pocket and Duster fucks him so good and hard against his desk that he accidentally leaves handprints burned into the surface. He cums three times and can't even move afterwards. Expects to be left there boneless until he can pull himself back together and find his scattered clothes, but instead Shig presses soft kisses along his cooling skin, waits for him to be coordinated enough to sit up, and then makes him stay put. He leaves for a few minutes and comes back with a cloth to clean him up with and a glass of water. Dabi tries to insist that he's fine, doesn't normally get anything like this, and it's kind of making something warm and shaky spread in his gut in a way he doesn't really get. But Tomura kisses him again, and he shuts up.

And maybe Dabi had been thinking that fucking Shig once would be a way to scratch that itch and get it out of his system. He was absolutely not expecting that Shigaraki would want this to be more than a one-time thing. That they would go from fucking whenever they got a chance to... dating in plan view of the PLF and League. And Tomura always takes care of him. Not just after sex, he does that too of course, cuddles and kisses, cleaning him up and making sure that he's all put back together with careful consideration that makes him a stupid puddle of good endorphins. But he also takes care of him when they're not in bed. He makes sure he gives himself time to eat when he would normally ignore it in favor of overloading his schedule with work and training. He does his best to make sure that Dabi is taking care of his health. He always checks in on him when he's being moody, and he holds him at night without being afraid of getting burned when he has a nightmare. He tells Dabi that he loves him in a month which should be too soon. It should make him recoil and reconsider what they're doing. Instead it makes him so needy that he practically throws himself at the other man, so desperate to show the things he can't say with his body.

Tomura fucks him slowly, but unrelentingly, trying to squeeze out every drop of pleasure from his body until he breaks. Dabi does break, it's just not in the way that he's expecting to.

Is writhing in their sheets, his lover's cock hitting all of the good places inside of him in a constant, unceasing rhythm as he toys with his cock, holding him, but not stroking, just squeezing a bit, just occasionally rubbing his thumb along his ladder. It's torture and Dabi needs to cum. He's on the verge of sobbing as he begs, "Please D--" cuts himself off with a sharp cry as humiliation surges through him and sends him over the edge, coating his stomach and Tomura's hand in cum. Tomura keeps fucking him, makes him cum again, fills him up, and then holds him close and keeps letting him know with every soft touch against his skin how loved he is. 

And Dabi has to cope with the fact that he is laying in his lover's arms, having a crisis because he'd almost called him 'daddy' as he'd been fucking into him so perfectly. 

He hopes that that's just an isolated incident, that some wire got crossed in his brain and it will go away, but it doesn't. It keeps flitting through his mind, when they're in bed together, when Dabi is needy and alone because Tomura still has other treatments to do. And it gets so bad that he decides that he has to fucking exorcise this from him like a fucking demon. Waits until Tomura is gone for a few days and takes out a few of their favorite toys and is determined to get this out of his system. 

He works himself up slowly, hands going over his seams, playing with his nipples, scraping his nails hard enough to leave red lines on his unburned skin. Gets himself so hot imagining that it's his lover's hands on him, his mouth, his cock sinking inside when he fills himself up with the dildo. And he feels it bubble up behind his lips again. This time he lets it slip out, "Ah, Daddy," and instead of having it bring everything to a screeching halt, it makes him hotter. He fucks himself harder, moaning and whining, begging for Tomura to give him more, but he's not even there, and he's not saying 'Tomura', he's saying 'daddy', over and over and over again. He cums harder than he thinks he ever has without a partner. And it's at that point he has to completely resign himself to the fact that he does, in fact, have a daddy kink. 

He is absolutely planning on just wasting away after that. He'll write his lover a goodbye note and leave behind a mangled, burned, but beautiful (to Tomura's bad taste) corpse for him. He does not want to examine why he's suddenly developed this kink. Why being treated with care, and cherished, and given respect and affection in equal measures, why feeling safe and secure in his lover's arms, had made him want to call him that. He's not doing it, so premature immolation it is. Which is why, when Tomura comes home the next day, Dabi is laying in their bed, somewhat despondent, having his last meal which is Toga's strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Duster takes one look at him and comes over to the bed, climbing in and pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. 

"What's wrong, firefly?" 

"I'm killing myself later. You weren't supposed to come home until after I was done. I still expect you to cry over my body." 

Duster hums, pressing another kiss to his skin and then stealing a bite of the ice cream as well. "If it's your last day, then I want to pamper you before you go. If you let me, then I promise to weep over your body for hours and when I tear down the whole world, the first thing I'll do is start to rebuild things in your image, make sure the world knows you're my Hephaestion. Does that sound fair, baby?" 

"Okay," and he lets his lover press another kiss to his cheek and they finish the ice cream together. Then Duster kisses the lingering sweetness out of his mouth and makes him get up. Runs them a bath and fills it with the green tea melts that have been helping soothe some of the soreness of his seams. They stay in the tub until Dabi would have to use his quirk to keep the water the right temperature. 

Dabi is considering life again when they get out and Duster wraps him up in a fluffy towel, doting on him the whole time. Kisses and soft touches against his skin, murmured words of affection in his ear, until he's pretty sure he's going to turn into a puddle. Not going to even have the focus to set himself on fire if Tomura keeps this up. 

When his lover gets him back into their bed, Dabi threads his hands into his hair, trying to pull him closer, trying to get him between his legs. Tomura leans over him, one hand braced against his chest, keeping just far enough back to not let Dabi close the space between them. "Are you in a hurry, firefly? Or will you stick around long enough for me to give you a little death before you go?" 

"Tomura," he whines, glad that's the word falling from his lips. His lover doesn't laugh at him, but his lips are definitely curved into a smile against his when he finally closes the space between them. Dabi drags his nails down his back in retaliation, but it's not a good one. Tomura never gets mean unless he begs for that. He's too intent on spoiling him rotten. Never had a pleasure dom before, but he can't say that it hasn't been a wonderful change of pace. 

Has his lover's hands, his mouth, moving over his body then, knows every place to touch to turn Dabi into a needy, trembling mess against their sheets. There are moans slipping past his lips as Tomura kisses along his seams and teases his fingers along his cock, strokes his balls, and then finally grabs their lube and starts to rub his fingers against him. He mewls as they start to push in. He's so relaxed from the bath, from how sweet his lover has been, that it doesn't take long before he's got three working inside of him, every pass making his cock drip more steadily against his stomach. And it's good, of course it's good, it's never been anything less than good with Tomura, but he wants more. 

"D-- Duster," he manages to correct, playing it off as getting lost in the feeling of his fingers crooking so good against his prostate. But he knows what he wants to say, feels it sitting in his throat and making more heat leech out across his veins. 

"What is it, baby? Time for you to go? Guess this will have to be enough--" Definitely a teasing lilt to his voice as he presses a kiss to the seam curving over his side. "Too bad, I would have loved to give you my cock one more time." 

"Stay," he surrenders. 

"Are you sure, firefly? You were so bound and determined before." 

"Stay, please--" cuts it off. "I want it," Rocks back on his fingers, more than ready, "I can take it, please?" 

"Is that so?" And he crooks his fingers up hard enough that Dabi sees stars. Sends such a sharp jolt of pleasure through him that he slips. 

"Ah, please Daddy!" And then spills smoke because Duster is going very, very still against him. Because that teasing twist of his lips is gone, as is the warmth in his eyes. Fear and shame sour Dabi's gut sharply, and the minute that he stops feeling like the floor dropped out from under him, he's going to squirm out from beneath his lover and set himself on fire as soon as he leaves the bed. 

But Tomura composes himself faster, fucks his fingers into him one more time roughly as his other hand wraps around the back of his neck and draws him into a hard kiss. Dabi keens. His lover licks into his mouth like he wants to eat him alive, like the right flick of his tongue will draw that word out of his throat again as he pulls his fingers from his needy body to replace them with his cock. 

"Ask nicely, firefly." 

Has definitely melted his brain already because he doesn't hesitate this time, "Please give me your cock, Daddy," sounds like he's going to die without it. He might. 

Doesn't have to find out though because Tomura sinks inside of him as soon as the words are off his lips. Kisses him hard again as both of his hands resettle on his hips. Only gives him those few seconds to adjust before he's drawing his hips back and snapping them forward. Fucks into him hard and all Dabi can do, all he wants to do, is hold on and let him. They fuck hard, teeth bruising lips, hips bruising thighs, nails cutting open bloody lines along skin. And the entire time, whenever Dabi can catch a breath, he's letting go, spilling his shame between them, 

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" And Tomura doesn't even flinch, devours that up just as readily as he has anything else that Dabi's offered him. But he's talking too, voice a growl in his ear. 

"That's it, fuck, you feel so good, sound so cute--" Makes Dabi's whole body even hotter from the praise, his cock aching and drooling constantly. Going to cum without needing a touch there if Tomura keeps talking like that, fucking him like this. "Wish you'd told me sooner, would have been happy to give you anything you want. Daddy's baby." His voice saturated with heat. "My princess."

Dabi arches off the sheets, muscles clenching tight, and his quirk makes his whole body feverish as he cums so hard he feels his release splatter against his chin as he moans, "Daddy!" One final time. Tomura follows him over, making him even fuller as they both come slowly through their orgasms and aftershocks. 

Not a surprise that Duster pulls himself together first. "'Daddy'? Is that why you were so upset? Baby, you can call me whatever you want." Lips against his cheek, which would be really sweet if he hadn't very clearly heard, 

"'Princess'?" 

Shig hums in the back of his throat, not one to cowed. "Didn't know if you would like that. Figured it could wait until we had a check-in. Already so cute, would love to have my baby girl crying for his Daddy's cock." Dabi's cock twitches, clearly a traitor and very, very on board for that idea. "But I suppose that won't happen if you're still planning on leaving me behind for that eternal sleep."

"Fucking me again right now," Dabi demands as forcefully as he can when he's a complete puddle in their bed. "But if anyone ever finds out about this, I'm taking us both out." 

Duster leans down and nuzzles their noses together, that smug little smile back on his face. "Can't imagine a better way to go, sweetheart. But you're going to have to drop that attitude. Only good girls get Daddy's cock, and you don't want to be empty, now do you, princess?" 

He shivers as his arousal surges through him again, "Please Daddy, I'll be good." 

Can't be as upset about the daddy kink as before, not when he and Shig damn near break the bed that night. Also not gonna have to worry about taking them both out in a shower of fire and ash because when Toga finds her missing ice cream, they're not gonna last long anyway. 

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[kansasjean]

one of those things no one talks about or pretends exist is failed dreams. like if you open Pinterest you'll find hundreds of quotes about regerts,,,, regerts and unchained dweams,,, "oh im 200 and my only regret is not chasing my dreams" like thats valid but I guarantee you the feeling of failing a dream is far worse. I know this is not what the masses want to hear. putting your all into something, dedicating your life to it, and then being told you just don't have what it takes, not making the necessary connections, or straight up blowing your chances is a life-devastating feeling.

like film school. I FoLLoWeD mY DwEaMs and went. Just to be told that I didn't have what it takes about any of it. and I have to finish my degree because it's too late to transfer but im essentially cashing in on broken glass. maybe I don't blame myself for trying but im now in #theworldsworstsituation where I have to watch everyone around me strike it while its hot and I can only get it lukewarm at best.

like first internships. very important in the industry. one of my friends is apprenticing an editor he respects. one of my friends got to go to Cannes. one of my friends directed a commercial for Apple. me... I got an unpaid development internship. and I like development, but it's not the dream. plus everyone told me it's getting replaced by AI first so GREAT!

and its not for lack of trying like my resume is stacked. just with poor people shit like minimum wage jobs (and management) and work-study. I don't have to money to fund short films, nor the friends to make them work. I'm not talented enough to win writing competitions, and i'm not pretty enough to act.

ending this post because throwing a pity party for myself is pathetic just like the rest of this diary. awww my life is so sad. kill yourself about it bitch idkkkkkkk

[pinkrabit]

ATLA LA Episode 3 Omashu

"We have our anger. We have our grief.. We have hope." It's good to see a message mildly consistent with the LA and the OG.

Yessss let's kill Ozai

This boys gonna die, huh.

THE FIRELORD THRONE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

Ambush kinda sucks though. God, ozai is such an arrogant bitch. He's perfect.

I love the aspect of fire nation citizens being shone to hate the leadership of the firenation early on.

Little Azula

THIS POOR BOY IS GONNA DIE HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS

Jesus Azula just watching with a mild smirk and her arrogance. She is a mad king. Just like her father. Just like the OG.

Her anger at hearing her brother succeeding in a wild goose chase, if only a little <3

I like Katara being self-taught. It shows her dedication, her appreciation to her (nearly lost) culture, and her accepting help from a master of another element *aang)

"Tap into your feelings" shows trauma of watching her mother die. Her mother is still a major drive. Like the OG

"The monks said I never listened. At least I think that's what they said. I never listened."

WHOSE OUT HERE SAYING AANG ISNT AANG LOOK AT HIM

Sokka being a road trip dad is in 2/3 avatar universes.

Katara teasing Sokka aboit Suki is beautiful

Zhao has already snitched baby boy Zuko

Zuko just being a mild angsty teen instead of extremely angsty is fine but I need more.

Even if Zuko doesn't like Zhao there are rules he has to follow.

"We're fire nation. Even out here." He told himself that his entire banishment in every universe. We HAVE TO KNOW THAT.

OMASHU IS GLORIOUS

"What makes you think we're outsiders??" Aang, my sweet boy, you're not wearing the typical fantasy wear. Your clothes are orange. Not green. Don't you know the nation's base shit off of colors??? Silly goose.

Katara taking the lead to connect feels on brand.

Sokka scoffing at people flirting with his sister!!!!

"STRUCK MUTE AT BIRTH" you just know sokka hates that in every universe

Aang running off like the 12 year old he is.

I like them blending Omashu with the Inventor's story and Teo, actually. I wonder if Bumi knows Sai is giving plans to the firenation.

"There spies are everywhere in the city." ... like you're father..??

Aang once again being u comfortable with the description of violence.

I don't appreciate "Sai" allegedly creating the mail system.

Sokka is acting like a kid in a candy store with all the tinkering stuff. He's such a need.

The bombing! (The G)Aangs reaction!! Aang is having another "I can't be a kid, I'm the Avatar" moment.

Azula raving!!! TY LEE!!! MAI!!

Ty Lee seems quirky enough. Mai is still so sullen. My precious girls.

Azula feeling entitled to the throne for helping Ozai fits so well with the end of the OG.

Sokka volunteering to help the mechanist!!!

WHERE IS KING BUMI. I WANT TO SEE THIS BUFF CRAZY OLD MAN.

Kataras mistakes in her bending 🥺🥺

Oop

PRETTY BOY SAVES KATARA

PRETTY BOY IS JET????

His outfit is so good

I like turning Jet into a more calculated loose canon.

Teo and Aang laughing together 🥹🥹 Aang is acting like a boy !

THE ANKLE MOVE FROM JET

KATARA SUCCESSFUL ATTACK

THE WHISTLE FROM JET

The Duke! Longshot! SMELLERBEE! Pipsqueak!

"We're the good guys." The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Jet.

Sokka gushing about his dad to the Mechanist 🥹🥹

"If not us, then who?"

THE TREE HOMES

Jet get that fucking weed out of your mouth

Anarchist!Jet supremacy

"If not us, then who"

Of course, it's not the fire nation.

I like that the show seems to be keeping up with, to a certain degree, that the "good side" can be bad

Katara and Jet sharing stories about their mothers.

"Lately, [my mother's death] been coming back to me." Because now you're ready to begin healing. You're ready for the memories your mind suppressed. You are ready to feel the anger and injustice. You are now "safe" to do so.

The "Fight with everything you have" message/motif has not been lost in this show. At least with Jet

Her mom <333

Now. I am a kataang shipper. I love their endless devotion and trust in one another. I love how their feelings for each other were so gradual you could hardly see it. They are each others hope and home

BUT.. I really like this katara/jet moment

Zuko, love, you're such a Hater.

THE PAI SHO TILE.

I love the charcoal pencil Azula's using. Pretty accurate, historically, if I remember correctly.

NOT JEE BEING A TRAITOR

Sokka, you brilliant nerd. You're so proud of the bird.

Katara, both Sai and Jet can be traitors. They are not mutually exclusive.

Katara, did I just hear your voice crack??? Sounds like emotional anger, I've been waiting for you to rise.

"I don't need proof for that" yes, Sokka, we know you're an ass and we love you anyway.

JET IF YOU HURT TEO ITS OVER

Jet, you're so unhinged, and true to the OG

Thank you, "sacrifice the few to save the many"

Jet's character is perfect.

ZUKO NOW IS NOT THE TIME

"This guy?? Again??" Yes, Sokka. Love the dry humor.

"This is my fight." No, Aangs. This is an adult's fight.

Zuko I understand you're a highly capable boy. You've worked hard to master bending and fighting, but you're ruining the marketplace atmosphere.

Zuko getting hit by an older woman like a thug is missing. No notes. This wasn't in the OG!

THE MAIL CARRIER ROLLER COASTER

Aang is so done with Zuko already, haha

Aang having Zuko’s diary, omg

"MY CABBAGES"

I like to think bending is similar to adrenaline. Where a fear response becomes strong enough to force your body to do something it otherwise couldn't do. Like with Katara's bending.

IROH BAITING HIMSELF FOR ZUKO AND ZUKO’S LITTLE SCARED FACE

Zuko looks so lost and guilty, after watching an adult sacrifice themselves for him.

Don't worry, my sweet misguided boy, Iroh has friends even if you can't make any.

"Uh, oh" NO SHIT AANG