#now I'm old enough to buy myself cards but I have no money for cards I spend it all on books and art supplies

[raeraesmentality]

I'm finally watching the 1998 Yu-Gi-Oh anime and holy shit Yami Yugi is 100% creepier in this version than what I remember of the 2000 anime, I'm loving it

[bodyhopper-files]

How I transformed my dad's life.

My dad swapped bodies with me like it was punishment or something. He said he wanted to be young again and free from all the burdens of being an adult. Burdens? Are you freaking kidding me? This is awesome!

My dad went off to school in my body the next day like he'd won the freaking lottery. As soon as he was out the door, I called out sick from his job, took out his credit card, got online, and started buying everything I imagined I'd need for this new life I'd been supposedly burdened with. 

My dad’s life was pathetic. He had a crappy job at an accounting firm, and he spent his life doing the bare minimum. He didn’t care about how he dressed or how he took care of himself. He had never done anything exciting in his life. Now, it was time for all of that to change.

I bought myself a whole new wardrobe, which required me to measure every inch of my new body so that I could finally order things in the proper size. There would be no more saggy "dad" clothes for this dad. I ordered a shit-ton of premium workout supplements and protein powder. I joined the best gym in our neighborhood and hired their top personal trainer to help me get this body in shape. I also ordered better skin products, better hair products, better everything. It was time for this dad to upgrade his life! OK, the truth is, I also ordered a few extra things I'd always wanted, and I'm not just talking video games. I'd always wanted to see what it felt like to wear a jock strap and a leather harness like I'd seen guys wearing online. This was my chance to play dress-up and find out exactly how it felt. It was like a mini vacation that nobody knew I was on.

And let me tell you, I was in heaven.

Two years after the swap, I've completely transformed my dad's life. I left his lame job the second I could, and instead spent every hour I could at the gym. My dad had enough money in his savings account that he could have always done this for himself, he just never saw it.

I took care of the house the way he never did. I made it my own, steadily discarding the things that had once been his. I replaced the basic furniture he'd bought with pieces that better suited my new tastes. I swept out all the beer and junk food from the fridge and cabinets and swapped in fruits, veggies, and protein shakes.

Eventually, I got rid of everything in his old life that had been holding him down. Actually, it's my life now. And this is my body. 

I've started a new job as a personal trainer at the very gym I started training at the day after the swap. I'm bigger, stronger, and better than I ever could have been before. I'm healthier and happier, too. 

And whatever happened to my dad? He dropped out of school and vanished that day, and no one ever saw him again.

[anjelicawrites]

A quick idea for moder!Aemond x friend!reader with fake dating that didn't want to let me go.

Your phone rings shy of nine o'clock in the morning and it's Aemond. If Aemond calls you this early, you know there's a problem ahead

"I need you to be my plus one"

"Hello Aemond, good morning to you too. How are you doing?"

"Good. I need you to be my plus one"

"Care to explain this sudden influx of feelings?".

You can hear him hum, unhappily, and then sigh teatrically

"I have a family function"

"So?"

"Alys left me"

"And no one more than us friends had been happier since that happened"

"I know. You all got drunk"

"Best bender of my life"

"I had to pick you up from the hospital the day after"

"Still the best since finishing my Master's"

"You had to have your stomach pumped that time"

"So what? Sure sign of good fun had"

"You need to focus"

"Yeah. Why do you want me to be your plus one?"

"Mother tried to make me meet so many children of family friends and business partners that I had to invent I have found someone".

You can't help yourself, you guffaw without shame.

"Are you done?"

The annoyance in his tone sobers you up immediately.

"I'm sorry Aemond"

"I had to invent a significant other. I've always managed to find excuses for them not to show up at family functios, to have an excuse not to go myself, but mother is suspecting something and now I need someone"

"Aemond, you should stop being smart only when you remember to be"

"I know. Will you help me?".

You can hear how hard is it for him to ask, it has always been like this with Aemond.

"Don't you have someone else? Maybe an escort?"

"Aegon knows all of them and I told mother that she knows this person"

"And I am your best option? Your mother hates me"

"She doesn't"

"Do you remember the long theological discussion we had about the Seven not existing?".

Aemond groans, you can picture him facepalming.

"She started to look at me with an extremely crossed expression ever since"

"She doesn't" Aemond says, knowing full well I'm his heart that Alicent doesn't like you.

"Aemond come on! Ok, your Baela and Rhaena are a no go, but there's the Baratheon sisters, one of them would be happy to help or some random Lannister or Tully?"

"I rejected all of them when mother tried to push me with one of them"

"Oh Aemond. You did really shot yourself in the foot this time"

"Don't remind me"

"Why didn't you tell Alicent the truth? That you don't want anyone else at the moment?".

Aemond uhms unhappily, he's pacing around, you can hear his footsteps in the distance.

"She cares too much about this. She was happy as well when Alys left and she wants me to go back to normal"

"By forcing you to find someone? Like changing one old car for a newer one?"

"You know how hard it had been for me. She thinks it will help me dig myself up"

"I like your mum, I really do, but that's a stupid idea. You need to do all the mourning you need".

You sigh. Yes, you were happy when Alys left, all of you friends were, but for Aemond had been hard to process that the person he thought was the one, left him and never coming back.

"Will you help me? I don't want to have this conversation with mother, not now"

"I will, but you owe me one"

"I know. It's going to be a formal event"

"Then you will buy me a nice dress"

"I thought you have one"

"And I thought you were desperate enough to come to me for this"

"I hate you. Come to the office later and I'll give you my card"

"You shouldn't say that to your significant other and thank you. Lend me the black one, will you?".

The night of the event, you stare at your reflection in the big mirror you have in the hallway. You had chosen a sapphire blue dress, with a modest neckline, nice heels and a beautiful black coat to go with it. You spent a pretty penny for the whole getup, plus the makeup and hairstyle, but it's old Targaryen money, they will not miss it and have probably earned it shadily, so they deserve to lose a bit of it to make you beautiful for the night, and for your friend.

As punctual as usual, Aemond rings your doorbell and you run hastily to the lift, not wanting to have him wait when you know he's not happy to go, to begin with.

He's dressed to the ninth, the back suit, the crisp dress shirt, his long hair in an elegant braid, waiting for you propped against his everlasting old car Vhagar. You can see his eye pop up in surprise at your whole getup; he's seen you in casual clothes, wasted beyond words, at your graduation ceremony, but never so elegant and formal, like a model ready for a glamorous shooting.

"See? I've spent your money right" you laugh twirling around

"I had no doubts" he answers, taking your hand to help you inside his car

"How affectionate do you want me to be?"

"Not overly - he says, schooling his voice - a decent amount but I am not someone for extreme PDA"

"Ok - you smile - unclench Aemond, tonight is going to be a success!!!".

He tries, but you've just hit him like a punch in the face, all these feelings dormant in his chest furiously trying to crawl out of the cage he'd hidden them in for years. He's fucked beyond saving and has no one to blame.

Aemond taglist: @phantoms-main-blog

Everything taglist: @ilikeitbetterangsty

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Conflict

So I'm at my last leg with a lot of my problems I've been dealing with so I'm just going to let them all out here. I could burn them but ive done that for so many things already and I need something stronger.

Gonna start this off by saying I've been broke for almost 3 years. I used up my credit card and now I'm in a credit card debt and have been working to pay it off for a while. With the help of my grandparents this has worked, but I'm feeling pretty bummed about it. I have another debt I have to pay off soon and this has been fucking with my credit for a while now.

I can't afford to buy myself new glasses or contacts at the moment, so I'm stuck with these old ones I had for years and their dirty and its on its last leg. In most of my pictures I take them off because they no longer look right.

I'm currently living with my grandparents because me and my mom kept arguing because I couldnt keep a job. I didnt want to work fast food because it just wasnt for me, and have been trying to work other jobs and it hasn't been working for me. I ended up doing a fast food job but only lasted about a month because the vibes were off-putting. I ended up getting a job at a daycare and I also lasted for a month.

Within that time period, I ended up going out and got sexually assaulted by someone I had just met. I was raped and I can't stop thinking about it. I was celibate after I broke up with this boy so this darkened my soul a lil. Few months later I try to get my self back together and own my sexuality and it slaps me right in my face. Twice. One of the losers goes and tells the neighbors and my fucking step father so now my business is just out there. And thats when my celibacy went back into motion.

One of my tooths ends up breaking off because of poor dental health and not having enough money to go to the dentist, I shrugged it off and said I will get it done soon. That time never came. I'm so embarassed. Because now when I smile really big you'll see it. And i don't want that. I dont want anything right now.

So I try to hide my smile and my laughter because its tough trying to get a date when your teeth can make or break you. I've seen it done to others b4.

I'm trying to take better care of myself. My hair, my body.. I want to go out and have a life but I don't have no money. I barely have clothes etc. Thats because i kept loosing weight and this happened because of a hospital visit back in november 2022 where I had a cyst burst that went all the way to the gut because I had a stomach issue that went untreated that the fucking DOCTORS couldn't even find if it wasn't for my mom yelling at them to get it right.

On top of all of that, my step father was driving my car and got into an accident and does not care about helping me get a new one because i'm 'grown'. Like yes Im grown. and Also it wasn't his fault but you could at least help since i'm not good at it.

This is all from nov '22 to now. I had a job right before the hospital visit and had to quite because things were just not good health wise.

I just

dont.

have.

it.

in.

me.

I dont.

I have only 1100 left for the car money and thats getting me nothing.

I dont have a lot of options left and i feel its best if i move out the city with little to no money. sounds sketchy but things have not been working out for me where i live. I have been living with my grandparents for a year with the intent of change, growth, transformation, comfort etc but its getting old.

people are tired and it's like im trying but i guess not hard enough.

I feel like im being buried alive with something I didnt do. Not sure what it is.

My mental health has been spiraling, i barely had any friends (but this is coming to a close) and i'm just downhill.

this optimism thing is just isn't panning out like i hoped.

[romanovsonelastdance]

I think very hard about your blog sometimes.

I don't think you realize just how very cool I think you are /gen /p

I would always love to hear more about your little hobby (I'm assuming it is a hobby and not a job, but regardless, it's very cool)

Like how did you get started in collecting? How long have you been doing it? How do you store everything? Do you scan/photograph everything yourself? If you had to choose what are some of your favourite pieces?

Thanks so much! I'm really glad people enjoy this blog; no one in my off-line life is all that interested in my postcards so it's a lot of fun for me to share them with people who DO enjoy them and understand why I get excited about, say, an OTMA 1916 postcard or whatever!

I've been interested in the Romanovs since I was a teenager, and I used to check eBay regularly for 'new pics,' but I didn't really have the money to BUY any of them back then. Likewise in college I didn't have any money to spare, either! I only bought a few things here and there that were cheap. I probably had like, maybe 10 items total from that era.

But a few years ago I moved in with my brother to help with childcare for his new baby, and part of the deal was that I didn't have to pay rent since I was helping take care of the baby. So suddenly I had money and I started to buy some of the postcards I found of my history people.

At first I intentionally avoided NAOTMAA because I a) understood they were more expensive and b) I knew myself well enough to know that I would get REALLY invested in it. But then I bought an OTM 1901 card because "well it's really cheap." And THEN I found a Maria and Anastasia 1914 card. I had seen the pic before in books and online, but when I got the card in hand I was shocked how CLEAR the postcard was and that was the end of of my resistance! It's SO COOL to have nice, clear images of these pictures I was used to seeing as pixelated jpegs on the internet. That was about six or seven or seven years ago?

Now I have FIVE binders full of postcards. I recently had to divide my NAOTMAA stuff into two of them, and then one for Other Romanovs, one for the Greek Royal Family and one for Other Royals (mostly British, Romanian, and Belgian, with a decent handful of Italian and Swedish).

I moved out of my brother's place awhile ago because 'the baby' is now old enough to go to school and they don't need me to babysit as much, but I also got promoted at work (I'm a librarian, FYI), so I still have some money to spend on my little hobby. I hadn't been buying as many things because I already have so many so that it's harder to find ones I don't already have. . .

. . . until a seller on eBay started selling off a mainly OTMA collection, and now I'm buying too much a lot again!

[doozclops]

I've tried to sound more professional with posts like this, but clearly it's not what everyone else does and also doesn't seem to work. So.

If you don't know me, I'm Dooz. I'm queer, autistic, physically disabled, everything Tumblr loves in a bitch. Here's a picture I found on my old SD card to show that I am indeed a real person:

Because of most of those aforementioned things, regular work isn't an option for me. What I can do, sometimes, is photography. For many years I've mainly taken photos of birds and other wildlife, but more recently I've started taking interest in abstract photography as well. For these, I have a few shops. Unfortunately, despite my diligence in promoting my work, I've seen little payoff.

I've been struggling for over a year now with a laptop that barely works, and it's severely limiting what I can do with my photos. One day it will just stop working and I won't have anywhere near enough money to replace it. For the same amount of time I've been dealing with it, I've also been trying to save up for a new one via sales from my shops and by pawning off anything I can. The sad part is that most of my savings come from the latter. I still need about $800 more before even considering browsing for one.

So here I am making a Tumblr Certified™ Beg Post. Below are the ways you can help me out:

My Ko-fi (tips): If this post was put in front of a couple hundred people and every one of them gave a single dollar ($1), I would be so much closer to my goal.

My Ko-fi Shop: If you prefer to get something in return for what you give, I have some photos available for digital sale, ranging from $3 each to $50 for the full bundle of 180+ photos.

My INPRNT Shop: If you have more money to spare and want some art to decorate your home, office, etc. with, you can buy photo, canvas, metal, and acrylic prints, posters, stickers, and even a couple phone cases of my photos. This option does result in less of the money you spend going to me, but you also get the most out of it, so that's up to you.

And if you can't afford shit all (like me), reblogging this post and encouraging others to do the same is thankfully free. I don't have a lot of followers and don't see myself gaining a lot of real ones in the future, so if you're reading this, I need your help.

[nancypullen]

A Monday in January

It's just a week before I start my new job at the library. I am cautiously optimistic. I know without a doubt that I can do the job and do it well, though I'm probably a bit rusty. My concern has been improving my wardrobe a bit. Lucky for me, the library has a very casual dress code, but I don't think they want me showing up in sweatshirts. That's been my uniform for far too long. I need one of those What Not to Wear interventions. Today I wore this sweatshirt, purchased from an Etsy shop.

It's actually perfect for the library because it's a nod to Mr. Darcy's insult to Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. I mean, that's literature, folks. Still, they'd like for me to wear business casual so I've been attempting to add a few pieces here and there. When taking stock of my closet I realized that I'm apparently a collector of black pants. Straight legs, boot cut, leggings, ponte, denim - you name it, I've got 'em. I need a couple pairs of nice indigo/dark wash jeans, they look good with just about anything. I have enough tops and sweaters to rotate. I doubt anyone will really notice what I'm wearing. But, because I have Xmas money and gift cards I traveled to Easton today to shop at the Kohl's there. It was so frustrating. I found plenty of pretty things, but the whole store looked like it had been ransacked. If I found a sweater or top I liked, the color I wanted wasn't available in my size. I refuse to buy anything I don't truly like, so if I want the cobalt blue but they've only got my size in beige, I'm not getting it. I spent hours in the store and finally came out with two tops and a necklace. I found a pair of shoes I liked but again, no 6 or 6 1/2 in stock. I came home and found them on the Kohl's website and ordered them. So that's enough of a happy ending for me. I'll always be tidy and clean, I'll accessorize and then slap on some lipstick. Granny chic! I mentioned the sweatshirt I purchased on Etsy. I was gifted a very generous Etsy gift card for Christmas and I've had a ball spending it. Look at this treasure.

I ordered a beautiful journal, and had a quote and my initials added. I'm filling it with my thoughts, my poetry, and sometimes my melancholy ramblings. If you love it as much as I do, you can order your own here:

Choose the color, your own quote or saying (whatever inspires you) and get to writing. Wouldn't this be a lovely gift? It's beautifully made and quite thick.

I couldn't love it more. It's perfect for me during this season of my life. I am truly out looking for myself. The mister is upstairs on a Zoom photo club meeting, I think they have a guest speaker or something. I'm downstairs with both kitties enjoying the quiet. I just downloaded a couple of books from the library so I've got some good reading for the stormy day ahead.

I'm okay with everything but a power outage. Let the storm rage, but I'm going to need to heat up my soup, ya' know? And speaking of books, I'm considering joining the Modern Prairie Book Club. Melissa Gilbert, who played Laura/Halfpint Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie has a company called Modern Prairie - I loooove all of it, the cookware, the home goods, the clothing, the recipes, everything.

I absolutely love the Modern Prairie Instagram account -

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Modern Prairie (@officialmodernprairie)

so of course I was intrigued by the book club. She mentioned revisiting old books that we all read once upon a time and discussing how we view them now, decades later. I laughed when I saw the first book choice.

Then I got nostalgic (it's been more than fifty years for me!!) and then I became curious. I think I'll give it a whirl. What's the worst that can happen, I'll change my mind and go back to reading Lisa Jewell or Liane Moriarty? No big deal. Best case scenario is that I'm able to recapture some of that sweetness and simplicity. So that's where I'm at on this quiet Monday evening in January - optimistic about the new job, but yearning for the past at the same time. I suppose that's normal for most of us, isn't it? Looking forward with hope while trying to hang onto the best of what was. Sending out loads of love tonight. I hope it finds you and wraps you in a hug. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[the-light-finds-its-way]

Only one person in the house has gone shopping for food in 3 weeks, and that person bought exclusively gluten free food, then forbade anyone in the house from eating it except for themself. Because of this, the others in the house have been living day to day off buying meals from local shops and restaurants.

But I'm so deep in debt that I have less than nothing. My only bank account is overdrawn by well over $100, and I have no credit card because, ever since I changed my name for transition purposes 6 years ago, every company ever claims I don't exist and they won't sign me on, even when I have a parent with fantastic, perfect credit history and who makes 6 figures a year, co-sign me. Because of a damn name change, I can't get a card. Anywhere. Ever.

So my only option left is to see if, maybe, by some miracle, the food pantry at my old college that I had to drop out of, is still open even when classes aren't in session. And if they are, I'll see what I can get to sustain myself for a few days. But like... I don't want to get the food there because... what if someone needs it more than I do? I've got odds and ends in the house, but no full meals. Nothing to cook up except for ramen blocks, toast, and vegetables. It's not much, but it's a little. And what if I take food from the pantry, only for someone with absolutely nothing at all to eat to come along, and they could use whatever I got more than I can? I'd feel like a piece of shit more than I do now... And I don't want that...

But I just want a normal meal again... I want some chicken and peas. Pasta and bread and broccoli. A grilled cheese and corn. Eggs with cheese. Pizza and a roll. Ham and green beans. Pork and mac and cheese. Anything to fill my stomach so I stop waking up shaking in the morning because I didn't get enough to eat...

The person who bought gluten free food, they yelled at me the other day at my bedroom door, shouting that I'm not eating right. Maybe, if I had the means to eat more than pancakes and cookies and ramen blocks, I'd be eating better. They blame me for what I'm going through, and constantly tell me this is all my fault that I have no money and that my job cut my hours drastically. I'm so done... My head hurts. And it won't stop hurting no matter what I do... It hasn't stopped hurting for over a month because of stress...

I really have to ask myself if it's going to get better. I keep saying it will, just because that's my only hope. But my hope is dwindling with every single day...

[myperfectdad]

20. Cash dad

I never thought I would be one of those guys. I don't even want to say the word, it's so embarrassing. I was successful and independent. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and answered to no one.

Damn, how much things can change in just a few months. It started so small, so innocuously, that I didn't even really notice. A cup of coffee here, an after-work drink there. I have a comfortable life. Heh, well, I had a comfortable life. Treating him to dinner out once or twice a week barely registered.

I can't believe I actually got a thrill–I got turned on–by spending my money on him. When the check came at dinner, I didn't even look at it; I just set my credit card down. When we were walking past a shoe store and my Son pointed to a pair of work boots and said, "I like those," my mind and body went on autopilot. My Son wanted something. I would buy it for him. I needed to buy it for him. I must buy it for him.

I'm such a pathetic––Damn, I can't even say it. If I say it, I know it'll become the permanent truth for me. I kid myself into thinking I have any other future ahead, except to spend all my money on my Son. No, it's not really my money. It never was. My Son deserves a comfortable life that I pay for. Happily. Pathetically.

That's why he sleeps in my old room and I'm down here, locked away in the basement. Sometimes he only comes down here to show me what he's buying online with my credit cards. Sometimes he puts my old cell phone up against my rubber bulge so I can feel the text alert vibration when my credit card is charged. I love it. I hate it. I love My Son. I hate myself.

I used to never pay attention to bank statements or credit card balances because I always had more than enough. Now I never pay attention to them because I'm forbidden from accessing my own accounts. I can't even remember my login creds, though I'm sure my son has changed them several times over.

When I hear my Son's big, heavy boots coming down the stairs, I know it's to show off something he's bought with my money. I hate it and I can't wait to see what new thing my sexy Son has gotten for himself. He deserves everything. I deserve nothing.

Damn. I am a cash dad. Take my money, please, Son.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Thinking about how I'm surrounded by proof I'm loved.

The water bottle I carry around was gifted to me by a friend. There's two stickers on it: one of which was given to me from my gf who bought it as a gift when she went away on a trip.

The laptop I use was bought for me by my father.

The lanyard I have was given to me from a friend who went to an event and thought I would like it.

There are books on my shelf that were given to me as gifts from people I love.

My drawing tablet was a gift.

There are bags in my room that are filled with non-perishable food from when I was sick with covid, and my friends took time out of their day to get them for me because I didn't have food and couldn't go do it myself.

I have cough syrup sitting on my floor from when a friend let me borrow it.

As terrible as our relationship is, there's money in my account sent to me by my mother.

The wallet I have was bought by my father.

There are old gift cards in my wallet given to me by various people.

There's food in my fridge that I only bought because I saw my loved ones eating it one day and they were kind enough to let me try it, and now I have more food on this earth that I enjoy!

Even things that I bought myself have a loving backstory!

The jacket I'm currently wearing was bought while I was celebrating my birthday with my friends.

There's drinks on my desk that were bought when I was at the store with my beloved brother.

The other sticker on the water bottle that I mentioned was bought by me--but I never would've been able to buy it if my gf didn't invite me on an outing to the mall with her, which allowed me to stumble across it.

There's a magnet I bought after noticing it in my therapists office (I adore her).

The vacuum I have was bought for no other reason than to appease my gf who was upset that one we had was broken.

There are even more books on my shelf bought for no other reason than I was recommended them by a loved one saying "I think you'd like it".

Just!!! Yea lmao.

[risu5waffles]

Ope. Another (ten) Shrimps on Barbie

Did you know the flamebreathing bartender Cenobite from Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth was also named Barbie? Probably not, 'cause that guy suuuucked. Not as bad as that goof-ass camerahead guy, but still.

Anyhoot.

Oh my gods. The tile card says LBP3, and this is totally an LBP2 level. Now i need to crawl in my hole of shame. This one was pretty fine, and i had a good enough time wiv it. i kind of feel like the environment looks a bit better the less of the background is shown. It's a touch too empty to be used as more than an accent point, at least the area of it that this level uses. Those winchy grab pads were pretty cool though. They get a little wonky at times, but, if i'm being honest, i never got them to work quite right myself either, so i feel bad docking points. All in all, not exactly a standout level, but a nice one to go through all the same.

This one was a lot of fun, and it picked up a team pick pretty shortly after publish, which it deserved, but, like, Sumo could have waited a day or so so my video would have come out first, you know? i really like the Seaside Surprise pack, it's got a whole chunk of good materials and decorations, even if i'm not the biggest fan of the music. Also it's a totally original (as in unlicensed) thing, so no worries about it getting delisted as long as the game itself is still up. Would i be happier if we didn't have to buy building materials? Sure would; but i recognize even wiv an unrushed game, there's no way a dev could get everything in there, and at least the kits have been robust, largely sparing (as opposed to the costumes. Too damned many of those), and fairly cheap. i want to give a special shoutout to AlphabetGoo for trying to implement the old Super Mario World flip to the backside of the fencing. That was actually kind of nostalgic. They didn't pull it off perfect, since it'd be really difficult to get the fence itself to rotate (you could do it wiv a decoration rotator, having the actual climbable material invisible, but i'm not sure if there's any decoration that approximates the look here. Certainly not one that would blend seamlessly wiv the rest of the set up). This whole level was a good time, and the race was actually fun and pretty well paced.

This one's just super charming. rainrainrain did a great job getting the feel of the tavern sections, and there are a lot of little, neat interactable elements. The circus show at the end comes a bit out of left field, but i'm more than willing to forgive it, because it was (a) fun, and (b) a good continuation of the charming atmosphere of the earlier sections. The tightrope bit was really keen, too! i wish i had cottoned earlier to what the meter meant, tho'; i probably could have gotten an ace on this level otherwise.

We talked about Winterland a few days back. If you missed it, i kindly ask you to get thee to the archives. Typing up ten of these spot reviews takes a little brainpower, and i'll skimp where i can.

A bit of a bittersweet gallery here, the creator saying goodbye to their Japanese friends when the Jside servers got shut down. i saw a fair number of goodbye levels and messages from the Japanese side of the LBP community, but it feels a bit rare to see one to the Jside players, so this was touching. i will never not be salty over how we just got tossed under the bus like that. i had the means (and for a brief window the money) to rebuild on a US account but i don't think that was particularly common among players here, and most of them are just gone from community. i know LBP was never a big seller here (might have helped if you fucking promoted it a little, Sony, you fucking jags), but the community was as dedicated as you'd find outside Japan, and some of the talent was just top notch. i've seldom run into such consistently good music and paint work. Saaa... it's always a good time to say fuck capitalism, but fuck capitalism.

This is a really cool, intricate level wiv lots of mechanical movement, which (doubly so since it's LBP2 played in LBP3) makes for a bit of a wonky experience. i think this play was actually my third or fourth, because mechanisms kept not engaging and it was softlocking the level. i really should have put together an outtakes video to show some of the breaks, but i was running around headless-chicken that weekend, so no dice. Sorry about that.

i wanted to like this one more than i did. It's quite ambitious for an LBP1 level, and a lot of work has gone into environmental shaping and gameplay, but... it just feels so draggy. Part of that, i think is the lighting. The level was just a touch too dark in general, and then you have lights just not working, which is not uncommon in LBP1 levels played in LBP3. But it adds up to taking a more plodding, searching pace when originally it was probably a bit zippier. Also there's that break at the end, and i feel like from the level progress that it was right at the end, where the doors just wouldn't open up. i tell you i was a little steamed after all the effort it took to get there.

i really liked this one. It's a pretty straight-forward race, but aside from one bit, it's fair and it manages to keep its pace throughout. Also it's nice, and bright, and visually easy to parse, even wiv all the bits of decoration in it. Also also, it uses the Blackboard material, and that is honestly one of the best in the game; it just has such a nice look and texture to it.

i was so disappointed by this one. It's not the level or creator's fault; Intangir85 tells us right off the chump that the level needs to be played natively in LBP2, but i figured i'd roll the dice and came up snake eyes. What we got to see, tho', is really really cool. The extra abilities are quite well-implemented considering how much of a pain in the butt it was to get that to work wiv LBP2 tech, and i am always going to be a sucker for clockwork. Do i not have the Clockwork Child tattooed on my shoulder? Yes, yes i do. i probably could have gotten the puzzle at the end if i were a little quicker thinking, but i got there in the end, which is my favourite kind of puzzle. Shame that that's where it chose to break on us. Ah well, that's how it shakes out sometimes.

i really liked this one, even if i was expecting a very different visual style based on the level badge. The look is pretty kludgy, but it's more than made up for by the whole Rube Goldbergian style gameplay. There are a couple of parts that are actually a little tricky, and i felt pretty good getting to the end, even if it does go on for maybe a section longer than it really needed to. Still, this one might be my favourite of the set.

And that's that. Ten more down and another i think eighteen in the pipe i think before my archives backlog runs out? Something like that. i've got my notes, but the lights are off, and the sun's gone down, and it's too dark in my room to check.

Y'all take care of yourselves wherever you are. i know things are rough for a lot of us, and they don't look to be easing up anytime soon, but we just go on, 'cause, i mean, what's the alternative? Don't know about you, but even as depressed as i get (and that's pretty damned depressed), i'm still heavily invested in being alive, and i hope you are too. Love ya. Stay safe.

[optimus-prime-advice]

Blogmin (blog admin) motivation post!!

So I never speak directly here besides in my intro post, but I decided I'm gonna come out to talk for a change, because I want y'all to know:

It really does get better.

That's me. I'm a disabled man who's autoimmune in at least 5 ways, possibly more than that, I can barely walk and I mostly limp, and I usually have to use a walking stick. I suffer from chronic pain, PTSD, and far more.

But today, I got my tax return. I decided I was going to treat myself, and visit the thrift store to see what all was there, maybe get a new shirt and a plushie or something.

Yet I found something FAR better than any of that combined.

I found an Xbox 360.

I'm 24 currently. When I was a young kid, the Xbox was THE console to have. I had nothing but a computer, and some disks with games. My parents were not wealthy at all. They struggled to get money for groceries. And all my friends, all my classmates, they had Xbox 360s left and right, my neighbor had 3 or 4 of them, my friend also had at least 3, and yet there I was with... nothing. Nothing at all. No Gamecube, no Wii, no Xbox, no Playstation, no PSP, no GBA, and so on.

Eventually, years later, my parents did save enough money to buy my siblings and I a Playstation 2 for Christmas, and we proceeded to play it so much that, within 3 years tops, it broke.

I was devastated. I had no way to play games yet again.

That year, for my birthday, my friend had a PS2 that he no longer used, and his brother had bought the PS3. Thus, for a present, I got my friend's old PS2. I was SUPER happy, and my eyes lit up like Christmas lights. I spent many hours after school for a long time playing Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2.

As I grew into an adult, more consoles came out. However, I grew up mostly PC gaming, and after my little brother built himself a PC, I decided I would do the same. I worked overtime with more than 40 hours a week at a minimum wage job while in college, for many months straight, and got the parts I needed. To this day, it's my best gaming platform with top-of-the-line hardware including a 2070 super RTX graphics card, and 5TB of space, of which 3TB is on SSDs. I live for playing games on my PC, and have multiple triple A titles. I've got a dual monitor setup with one 32in monitor on the bottom, and a 24in curved monitor on top, a cheap camera, cheap soundbar that's surprisingly good quality for just $35, and a cheap standing mic.

This past winter, in December, my mother had to go in for open heart surgery. During November on Thanksgiving day, she suffered a heart attack. When she went in for the surgery, it was supposed to be a one and done situation. One "quick" surgery turned into 2 near death experiences, being airlifted to another hospital, another 2 surgeries, then 3 more, and over 40 nights of hospital stays across 4 months.

On the same day I nearly lost my mother last, I nearly lost my good friend to ending himself, and had to stay awake until well past 3am trying to get authorities to help him. That same day, too, I almost lost my sister to the same thing.

And the day after that? I lost my only job.

Weeks later, I lost my insurance coverage, and couldn't get medical help as my chronic pain flared to the absolute worst it's ever been, I began getting chronic intense migraines every morning I woke as well, and I only just got the insurance back recently.

Needless to say, I've been scraping by desperately for months now.

But today, I got my tax return. And I decided, to treat myself, I was going to go to the thrift store.

And there, sitting on the shelf amongst a bunch of printers, literally blending in to the white of the shelf itself, was an Xbox 360. I would not have known it was there had I not picked it up to see what its weird grey piece sticking out was.

Immediately, I snagged this. With the wires connected, the entire package was $14. I had a 360 compatible controller sitting around for my PC, but I never used it. So there, I had everything I needed. And I walked the store looking for anything else I might need or want, carrying that SUPER heavy console and chargers in my arms for dear life. It sincerely felt like a dream I'd wake from, only to find myself in my bed sad and empty and defeated. The impossible childhood dream coming true... Could it be?

As I checked out, the man at the line smiled and told me he played Xbox 360 himself growing up, and that I'd caught a GREAT find. I was happy. VERY happy.

Carefully, I loaded the console into my car's trunk. I drive an old black car covered in bird poop and pollen regardless of how often I clean it, and most of the time, I can't even get said poop off at all. The front bumper is busted. At any given time, I have no more than half a tank of gas. There's no fancy features, just a radio and a CD port. I've jerryrigged bluetooth with a wired adapter that's always coming out of the socket, and plugged it to a cigarette lighter with a charger so the adapter never dies. I can only play audio from my phone, but I can't make calls or answer them while driving.

Nonetheless, with this console inside my car, I drove home, fearful that I was still dreaming, and would wake any moment.

But I made it home safely, and when I opened the trunk, the Xbox was still there.

I smiled. I smiled A LOT.

Tonight, I went ahead and plugged it in to my TV. With a deep breath, I turned it on, and...

It works. The Xbox 360 works beautifully, minus the fact that it's currently black and white because I've hooked the adapters wrong. I'll fix that tomorrow since it's well past 3am now.

I'm not sure who brownie71985 is, but whoever they are, their old Xbox has now made a former poor kid, now disabled and struggling, depressed adult, VERY happy. They've made his life COMPLETE.

Though my mental health has taken many turns for the worst over the last few months, I kept telling myself it will get better. It will get better. It will get better... But when?

Today. That's when.

I lived long enough to see my childhood dreams come true. The impossible thing of all impossible things to me as a kid, is now achieved as an adult. :) And I lived to see it.

It's always worth it to make it. To keep going. Better days are ahead, and you'll keep asking yourself when they're going to come. But that day could be today! You don't know because you haven't lived to see it yet. So go. Live today. And tomorrow. And every day after that. You're going to find your better at some point if you keep living. I promise. :)

[capriciouscaprine]

happy new month to everyone!!!

I have SO MUCH to do for my coursework, but I wanted to take the time to write a post about what I'm up to currently, what this month holds for me, and what my goals are for the future as we all head towards summer

currently, I just hit a goal # this morning, although it didn't feel all that impactful, and I'm pretty sure that's bc I both didn't get enough sleep last night and bc I don't have any rewards set up for myself besides the emotional reward of hitting that goal; obviously, I need to be consistent about getting enough sleep and have rewards ready for myself, but both of these are uniquely tricky right now bc I have an absurd sleep schedule (6 pm-2 am), no time, and even less money

I'm coming out of a six week full time unpaid internship, so my hours were drastically cut at my actual job; instead of five days, I was down to just two, and they were the two days the least amount of work and thus fewest available hours to get paid; I got a boost from cat sitting for my neighbor, whose cat needs careful monitoring and specific medicine on a pretty strict schedule, but this pay cut was on top of paying tuition for the semester, so I currently have negative money aka am carrying a balance on my credit card, to the tune of $3.5k (oof)

the good news is that with spring pollen comes increased hours, as my job is on a farm with both plants and animals; we've got seedlings to water and plant, babies to feed, and field trips to prep for and manage, so I've jumped from 3-4 hour days to 5-6 hour days, five days a week; I get paid pretty okay ($16/hr after taxes), but I still typically get less than 30 hours a week, so my monthly pay is only around $1.5k (rounding down for safety, especially since this a very recent jump)

looking forward to things happening this month, I have my final paper for my most important class of my entire masters degree, due WITH a presentation and handout on April 10th, and then two weeks later (less than or exactly 14 days, iirc) I must give a comprehensive presentation (and possibly turn in some other stuff??) about myself, my internship, my previously mentioned final paper, and a problem from our final exam, which will determine if I get my degree or not

oh, and I need to plan and record another internship observation, which I had been under the impression that I wouldn't need to do, which is due by the 15th, right in between all of these other things being due

I am under immense pressure right now, and it's definitely having a negative impact on my mental health; I'm managing not to burst into tears constantly or run away to the woods (a very short distance for me, so particularly tempting) thanks to both succeeding at other goals and knowing that their are specific dates for all of this to be over by; all I have to do is turn everything in on time (even if it sucks), and I'll be done with this degree by the end of this month and officially graduate in early May (ugh, need to order and pay for my cap and gown this week (~$200))

heading into next month, after everything is turned in (seems impossible to imagine, tbh, which is why I'm writing this post), I'll be free to PLAN and SET GOALS

(I'm so excited!!!)

like I said before, my pay isn't high and I've got debt I need to address on top of more bills coming in the future (six months of car insurance D: ), but I have to believe that I can get everything paid for and still have enough money to have a tiny bit of fun, too; I need to still down and draw up a budget, ESPECIALLY for food since I'm going to finally have time to make more things for myself!!! which will absolutely be cheaper than all the pre-made and pre-portioned meals and snacks I've been buying

the last time I had a big goal, I had a bar and a line graph to track my savings (my house down payment! ty 2018 mini recession, you made home ownership possible); now it'll be the double whammy of 'saving' for bills and paying down the old debt, plus I'm genuinely at the point of needing a new phone WITH a case, and all the actually functional phones with enough storage space, etc run just under $350, so with accessories that could be $500 aka NOT an impulse purchase!

otherwise, my big goal is to clean up my house: it has been TRASHED by consecutive roommates, but particularly by the most recent one; I have bits of stuff taking up space from everyone who's moved in and then out again over the past 5+ years, but the last one (who I made a whole rant post about) was so filthy when it came to using the kitchen that they left me an infestation of MULTIPLE types of insects, some of which I've never even seen before!!!

here in the southern US, we already deal with some insect trouble bc it doesn't get cold enough to fully kill them off, plus they can always be brought into a clean house from our great outdoors, which we have lots of; it isn't unusual for even the shiniest of mansions to get a roach sneaking into a bathroom or a line of ants running into the kitchen

in comparison, my house is genuinely disgusting, and I haven't been able to DO anything about it since classes and thus deadlines started back in August; the good news is this project won't take, relatively, that much money, and I even have a pretty good idea of what all I need to do to almost completely fix this! the only real problem is that it'll take a fair bit of physical labor and thus energy, which I don't always have a lot of, so I'll need to be strategic and get things done in phases and also not give up!

there are a lot of expensive things that have gone wrong and need fixing around the house, and there are even more expensive changes I want to make; I need to remind myself that all of these will happen in time, and I need to not obsess over them or let them demotivate me as I'm working towards addressing the issues that I can

in the far-flung future (it feels like), getting my degree means I am qualified for teaching jobs!!! math and teachers in general are in pretty high demand in my area (where aren't they right now?), and the pay is relatively high, as in double the highest I've ever made before in my entire life; once I've got my degree, I can dedicate myself to getting one of those jobs at a nearby school, and at that point, once I start getting those paychecks (fingers crossed), a whole new world will open up for me!!!

[strawberryamanita]

Yo, so I'm not one to try and tell people how to raise their kids, especially being someone who doesn't have any myself, but after learning that the majority of Gen-Z'ers don't own computers(and Gen Alpha will presumably have even less of them), don't have computer classes in their schools, and were led to believe that a cellphone is a 1-to-1 replacement for everything a computer can do... that's kinda sad to me, honestly. I had a lot of fun growing up with big, clunky PCs, and just using a phone with a touchscreen feels like a step backwards in terms of technological evolution.

So, if you have an important young person in your life(a relative, a family friend, a student, or even yourself!), and you wanna get them something big for a special occasion -- why not get them a laptop? They're a little more expensive than a greeting card, certainly, don't buy one if you won't have enough money afterwards; but if you can afford to make an investment, they might just benefit from having one.

It's less of a strain on the eyes because it's a larger, dimmer screen. Clicking a mouse and clacking a keyboard are good for your motor skills, on top of just being fun to do! And not having an app just a stone's throw away will mean they would get used to doing a little exploration to get what they need, and learn about what they pass by along the way. Even if they ask Google first, it's one more step than just getting an app.

If they wanna make art, tell them about MS Paint and free art programs. Same thing with music and coding. If they wanna play a game, find some old shareware or freeware games that take little more than a download(and are, if the name doesn't imply, FREE). If typing on a larger keyboard is taking some time to get used to, Mavis Beacon is online for free too!

idk what prompted me to start ranting about this so early in the day out of nowhere, but I've typed too much to wanna delete it now.

Give your kids access to computers. Real computers, not just something that happens to have access to the Internet. Boxy, dumpy, clinky, clunky, tactile, whirring computers that take more skill to use than a smartphone. It's not about forcing them to learn about the Good Ol' Days(tm), it's a small step towards showing them there's more to life outside of a phone screen... and yes, while it is another screen you're pointing them towards, at least you have to do more to communicate with the machine inside of it.

...Oh, and get them a USB mouse, if you wanna get real fancy. Wireless or otherwise. The more buttons they can physically push, the better.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I'm gonna pass back out xoxo

[snowmuttgetsweird]

02/19/24, afternoon

Life is so busy, in good ways and in bad, but it's SO busy, that even the good ways start feeling bad.

Just too much to do and not enough time or money to do them.

I've got books, Death Stranding, Ed comes out for Street Fighter 6 in eight days, FF7 Rebirth comes out in 10, I need a new Digimon deck cause my friends just get mad against the two I play right now, and I keep discovering new games I enjoy at work that other folks refuse to play with me. Movies and shows to watch too- need to re-watch the 90's animated X-Men since we're getting proper new episodes- very hype about that.

Legends and Lattes was a good book I borrowed from a friend. He picked up the prequel and gave it to me to read first because I've been reading a lot in my spare time cause it's free/cheap and figured I'd finish it quick, but I'm in the middle of The Archive Undying right now, which the same friend got me for Christmas, so now I feel slightly rushed to finish both fast.

Star Wars Unlimited, the new Star Wars TCG, seems interesting. I'm not especially big on Star Wars as a franchise, and I only played one game with the Darth Vader starter against the Luke starter, but I think the game has good bones- took a lot of good aspects of other TCGs and made something pretty unique that feels interactive, very tempo-based, and difficult to power creep. Bonus that it's designed with drafting and sealed play in mind, which makes it very accessible to new players that may not be interested in constructed play. Unfortunately, no one else I normally play games with is interested in playing with me, and I don't really have time to introduce more friends into my life atm, so that may go unexplored for a while.

Similar situation with Dune Imperium Uprising. Played it at a staff game night once, and been hooked on it since, but haven't been able to play again cause none of my friends are interested- plus it's, like, a four hour game and I don't own my own copy, and if I wanna buy one myself, it's gonna be like, $60+. Woof.

At least with Digimon, a lot of my costs are offset by generous friends that throw chaff from their bulk at me.

On the subject of card games, MtG's siren song has been calling me lately. My day job has me babysitting a bunch of other folks playing card games and board games all day, so I spend a lot of my time watching other people play Magic, and I've been feeling the itch. I might try to pick up a Commander deck and give it a shot.

I'd rather be playing Lorcana, which scratches a similar itch to Magic, but it's just so hard to get my hands on product. I have like, PART of a Belle deck, but with no Belle. She was $13 a pop for like, five minutes, and then the price suddenly shot back up to $20-something before I could spare the scratch to pick up a playset. Still better than the $38-something she was before, but still out of budget unless I save up a little at a time for a long time- not even to mention other Steel-Sapphire staples like Hades, Giant Tinker Bell, Let it Go, A Whole New World and Grab Your Sword. Product has been so scarce though that I think my friends have more or less given up on Lorcana entirely at this point anyway.

Trying to get together with folks when I can to flip some old YuGiOh stuff I've still got, but haven't been successful so far. Was prepped to meet with someone a few weeks ago, and then got COVID and had to put it off. :/

But yeah, no time, not enough money. When I'm not at the day job I'm drawing, and I also have to do cooking and cleaning and laundry and such on those days as well.

Or doing this cause I need a neutral party to vent my feelings and frustrations to. Bleh.

[lorz-ix]

A short and sweet video I wanted to share with people because I think it portrays a sentiment and a conclusion that really resonated with me. If 7 minutes is too much, at least skip to the final chapter at the 6 minute mark.

A couple of things: we could talk about consumerism, how collecting sometimes devolves into spending more and more money trying to chase a high that you can't get anymore, how these things can cost a lot of money just to get one item. But that's just being a party pooper, because the point I'm trying to make hopefully is unrelated to specific "buying this thing from my childhood that's unreasonably expensive now".

I really liked the "life wasn't better back then because the world was a better place, it was only that way because being a kid is simple" message at the end. As kids, everything is new and so it blows our minds, because we're constantly discovering things, and it's not easy to get that sort of feeling as we grow older. But I think it's important to stay in touch with our inner child, and to remember how to have unapologetically childish joy and glee for the little things in life every now and then. Growing up doesn't mean you can't enjoy things anymore.

I'm going through a bit of a "rediscovering toys and games from when I was a kid" phase, fully allowing myself to be fascinated by the simplest and smallest things. I'm really obsessed with those tiny playsets from the 90s and early 2000s that have tons of little details crammed in. Absolutely losing my mind at how many play features this original Space Jam thingy had. You can shoot hoops and recreate several scenes from the movie. I know I had it, I hope I can find it at my parents' place.

Similarly, I am a bit of a board game enjoyer, and one of my childish preferences is seeing games with tons of moving pieces, miniatures, dice and cards. But sometimes you have to leave aside all these high strategy games and call your mates to have a few rounds of the tumblin' monkeys game. These "physical skill with some luck" games for kids might be the most fun you've had in months. Again, it's good to know how to enjoy the small, simple things, especially if you're sharing them with someone special.

To reiterate, you don't need to hop on ebay and spend 200 dollars for something you were never allowed to have as a kid. Not everything needs to be about closing a chapter in your life from a decade ago. Sometimes going through your box of old toys and games is enough to have a grand old time, and perhaps learn how to notice new little things that you hadn't discovered yet.