#now I'm wondering what his stims are and what is a good sensory thing for him

[friendodorothys]

if I ever meet Paul, I'm not saying anything as if he's famous, I'm just going to show him my stim toys bc I think he'd really love to have them for himself and other people may not have introduced him to them

[genderkoolaid]

Hey, I had read a post from you a while back where you mentioned that people can be queer solely because they're autistic, even if they're still cishet, and I was wondering if you could explain that a bit more? I've been frustrated for a long while with how I'm expected to look and act as a cis man, and that's lead me to blogs like yours.

So, its been pretty well established now that autistic people* are more likely to identify with queerness, in gender and sexuality and anattraction (aspec).

One factor in this is that autistics tend to not pick up (or want to follow) arbitrary, often unspoken social rules. So many autistics don't understand or want to follow rules about what defines men and women and how those groups Should behave and why only these groups can exist.

But there's also deeper issues in how gender roles themselves reject autistics. For example, autistic people tend to use and move our bodies differently. For me, I tend to be somewhat clumsy and generally "ungraceful," which goes against the expectation for women to be good at using the body in structured and pleasing ways. We may not speak in ways men and women are socialized too. Stimming can be a very visible sign of neurodivergency, which is often dehumanized and therefore de-gendered; our physical mannerisms aren't not stereotypically masculine or feminine, but simply inhuman. And sensory issues may influence the way people present themselves, like an autistic woman shaving her hair or an autistic man shaving his beard, or wearing certain clothes that aren't "properly" gendered. I've also seen discussions of kink that talk about how autistics tend to have different ideas of pleasure and pain, which shapes how we engage in sex.

And gender tends to be a highly communal identity- while autistics are often alienated from community. We don't pick up, or fit into, "man" or "woman" culture of allistics, which can often be very exclusionary for anyone who doesn't conform to that mold. (For me, I coped with this in middle school by having a friend group entirely composed of undiagnosed & likely queer NDs, so we didn't have to worry about being weird little freaks around each other. Highly recommend this). This alienation can also effect how we form romantic/sexual relationships, and how we engage with the expectations around what it means to be a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend."

There's this quote from bell hooks on queerness that I really love: “'Queer' not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but 'queer' as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.” Autistic people are frequently at odds with everything around us, and have to create or find new places to speak, thrive, and live. I tend to center queerness on gender and desire (or lack thereof), and being autistic can have an effect on any or all of those categories.

Basically, if you feel like queer is good at expressing your relationship with your gender/sexuality, and/or that queer community/queer theory feels like a safe place to explore and engage with those things then I welcome you here for as long as you want to stay.

*this applies to all ND groups, but we're just focusing on autism in this post

[seohwang]

Hey! I really like your writing and I especially liked the bedroom mishaps series, it’s so refreshing to read something more realistic.

I’ve been thinking about what Ateez would be like with an autistic partner, as an autistic person myself.

I feel like Hongjoong would be really aware of and intuitive about his partner’s sensory difficulties, and always have things handy to help, like headphones or sensory safe hoodie. Would enjoy seeing his partner listen to Ateez’s new tracks on repeat for days/weeks.

Both Hongjoong and Seonghwa would love listening to their partners ramble about their special interest/hyper fixation, as well as finding their stims super cute.

Seonghwa would be aware of the social and sensory limits of his partner, maybe even more so than his partner themselves. Would be very good with helping his partner through meltdowns/shutdowns.

Woosansang would just be very intuitive, understanding, really good and comforting and helping their partner through meltdowns/shutdowns as well. Woosan especially would be very openly/loudly supportive and trying to always encourage their partner. And also knowing when their partner is too overstimulated for physical touch, or they just need pressure hugs. Would also find their partner’s stims super cute.

Mingi would listen with his big puppy eyes when they’re rambling🥺 and would indulge with them with their special interests so enthusiastically

Yunho would ALWAYS have a massive grin on his face when they’re rambling. Massive encourager, always encouraging them to unmask and stim as much as they need.

Jongho would be quietly but acutely aware of his partner’s needs all the time, whether they’re overstimulated, or wanting to unmask but being too uncomfortable to do so. Always aiming to help them out silently but with devotion.

I just know they’d all be very understanding and caring. I’m wondering what you think of this? And what Ateez would be like? Anything you disagree with or would add? Feel free to add anything nsfw.

(Sorry it’s so long😅 this has been brewing for a while)

Feel free to ignore lol

Hi!! Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm really happy to hear you like my fics!! I love writing about the more real and awkward parts of relationships, so it's lovely to hear that my readers enjoy them as well!! ♥

(I didn't want to clutter the searches too much, so you can find my response to your headcanons under the cut! ♥)

Now, I'm not autistic myself (or, like, I might be somewhere on the spectrum, but I haven't gotten properly diagnosed or anything), so I don't really feel like I can confidently write much about the topic, BUT I really like the headcanons you have written! There's honestly nothing I disagree with since you picked up each member's personality pretty well in my opinion. Especially with Woosan, since they definitely seem like the types to proudly ramble about their s/o to everyone around them, lol. Oh and don't even get me started on Hongjoong, he absolutely feels like someone who'd carry around a bottomless bag full of the most random things like all moms do, lmao.

Also, I definitely agree that they'd all be very open and understanding!! I think that some of them would pick up on your habits and cues much faster than others (Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Jongho), while others might need more time to learn when to tone things down (San, Wooyoung), but they'd all be trying their best nonetheless.

As for nsfw headcanons, I think that most of the sfw headcanons would transition into the bedroom pretty much identically. They'd all make sure to ask for your limits and preferences (either beforehand like Yunho or in the moment like Yeosang) and would try their best to remember them whenever the time comes. The biggest obstacle, in my opinion, would be with San. He seems like someone who'd love a lot of eye contact during sex, and if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, he would have a harder time getting used to that. Other than that, I think that all the members would be very good at working around any troubles or needs you might have, as they're all very patient and loving anyways ♥ :)

(Lastly, I hope it's okay for me to publicly share your ask like this - if not, just tell me and I'll delete it!! Either way, thank you so much again for the lovely message and headcanons and take care!!!)

(Also, if you have a writing blog, please tell me the name!! I'd love to follow you, you have a nice way with words :) )

[baby-fics]

(@lake-lanier-bog-fog Request: hello, i don't know if you still take requests but could i get some poly!cg!ghostface with a little reader who has autism pretty please? if you aren't taking requests or don't want to do this that is 100% okay)

(No prob! Hope you liked this! I have autism myself so I'm glad this was one of my first requests :3, if you want anything specific addressed that I missed just lmk. Thanks for reading!)

♾️ Infinitely Adorable ♾️

(TW: food issues, texture issues, meltdowns, light stalking mentions, slight bullying, reference to murder, ya know Ghostface things)

First off, let it be known that anybody who decides to tease or belittle you? Dead. No question about it, that is a line nobody is allowed to cross; except for maybe them but that's beside the point. Don't worry, these two will be sure to kindly inform them of their grave mistake later.

But you don't need to worry about that precious! Play with Billy's hand instead, they know you like to use their hands as fidgets. Stimming freely, making faces, echolalia, sensory issues, the works. It's all accepted with them lil one and don't you dare hide! They may not understand everything at first, but these boys are very determined. (Plus when you stim or make little noises they think it's the cutest thing ever)

Textures are a big thing they watch out for:

Certain food textures make you feel icky, and the boys are VERY accommodating about this! They have spent most of your relationship learning what textures bother you the most and making sure that above all you're healthy and comfortable.

Physical touch can often be genuinely horrible depending on the touch. The last time you held unfinished wood with your bare hands, you proceeded to gag and violently flap your hands. So needless to say, this is something they care about quite a bit.

Overstimulation is something that Stu completely empathizes with and he actually helps the best in this term, he may not have Autism but Stu does empathise. He has a pair of headphones wrapped in your favorite color tape along with a mixtape of songs that calm you down and a weighted stuffie in a backpack that's kept in the car.

When your understimulated, what better way than for Billy to yeet the baby? No seriously, he'll set up a pillow mountain on the bed, pick you up, and just yeet you into them. Works wonders. Stu will also have you grab his wrists tight and he will push your shoulders so you bounce onto the bed and he'll pull you up by his wrist and repeat! The giggles this elicits are his favorite sound on earth.

These boys definitely keep you a spoiled baby, but you're not rotten yet so what's the harm. We all know Stu is loaded and he will absolutely drown you in stuffies, fidgets, coloring books, you. name. it. Seriously! All you gotta do is name it, Stu doesn't even really care for 'please'! Billy does though and encourages you to use your manners when you ask for things.

Stu enjoys listening to you ramble about whatever your special interest may be and will attempt to engage with you if the interest is activity based. So will Billy but.. he has a harder time listening to rambles.

Your Papa's have a set routine around bedtime that gives you something to expect and wind down with. They start with a bath and clean you up while letting you play, then move to brushing teeth, and then Daddy Stu helps to put your onesie on you while Papa Billy makes you a bottle.

Stu does story time and always does silly voices when he reads. Billy sits and cuddles you while you drink and listen to him read one of your younger books aloud.

Billy is really good at picking up when a meltdown begins and stopping them before they start. Do they get triggered by indecision? Not to worry Billy actually really likes taking over for decisions when you need. Did something happen to throw off the routine of your day and now the whole thing feels like a wash? Billy will either help fix the setback or try to distract you from that setback!

He will pay very close attention to what sets you off. Heck Billy has a journal dedicated to your quirks and needs in detail. Billy stalks you even though you're literally always with him and his partner, to Billy? You're his special interest.

Overall, these two are a great combination for an Autistic little. Very much under the Attack dog Caregiver category lol.

[juuheizou]

Omg now i'm dying to know what are suzuya's trigger textures, and his triggers in general too since I also hc him as autistic<3 also a guide on how to touch him right pleaaase???tyyy

Of course, friend! I'm always down to talk about autistic Suzuya!

Do be warned, in my personal opinion it's no worse than anything in the series, but if you're squeamish about unsanitary things, you might want to skip a couple of paragraphs pertaining to some unsanitary textures and stimming behaviors that I marked with a ** at the beginning of each one.

what are suzuya's trigger textures

He really doesn't like rough, scratchy textures. Tall grass or institutional carpet on bare skin, bristly animals, clothing tags, scratchy fabrics from wool to lace, suits. Anyone would learn to hide their distress at the horrible feeling of a lacy dress if the alternative was Big Madam's wrath, not worth dying over even if it's a close decision, but I think I have a little to back this up when it comes to his canon rebellion against coming to work in a proper suit.

I like to think of his canon dress code violations being a little bit of “stop telling me what to do” but also a whole lot of sensory issues with the material suits tend to be made of. If he could get away with wearing his pyjamas to work every day, he would, and I feel like he would have tried at some point. Unfortunately, what he does actually wear in canon was the best he could pull off and just be lectured by Amon as opposed to more serious disciplinary action even he can't ignore. Some of how he dresses is to have some control and fun with it in a conservative office environment when it comes to how people dress, like his patterned suspenders, but the actual fit and cuts of his outfits, ie too big for him and mostly shorter than they should be, is to minimize how much of it is touching him. His undershirts we see him wear once are probably something he wears all the time and pretty soft, another way to insulate him from that suit material texture.

Also, as an animal lover, this can prove a little problematic. My first thought is of the sheer disappointment of him petting a stray dog and ending up with like, bully breed bristles or something lodged in his shirt. Or going to a petting zoo or something with the squad and he's had a wonderful time nuzzling alpacas, sheep, rabbits, ducklings, and he's too excited to even think through it before he tries to do the same with something like a potbellied pig. Sad times. Very sad times. It's not fair that some animals can look fuzzy but actually feel like a cactus. He's safest sticking with fluffy spitzy dogs and cats haha.

**Messy textures are variable. He's not your (on Tumblr, at least) stereotypical squeamish autistic. Actually, I think he's the opposite and self-soothes by squishing and smearing gross things until Shinohara finally gets him a jar of play-dough or something to stop him from playing with dead stuff he finds on the schoolyard-- maybe being given art supplies to play with instead is what got him doing other art forms as an adult. Before it was stray animal entrails and stuff he found at the Academy, it was human organs, blood, etc. and Madam probably saw it as him learning to be a good scrapper, doing things like fingerpainting with blood or squishing a handful of organs in his hands.

**That being said, as much as he likes these textures in his hands, he has learned the hard way that most of them will make him sick if he were to put them in his mouth. Someone who didn't eat a lot of innards and similar scraps of meat over the years probably wouldn't even think to be so picky, but liver, brain, stuff like that? Good! Intestines, eyeballs, parts that are more slimy and slippery in the form they'd be thrown to him in... he would sooner go hungry, even living with Madam and not being given much else to eat. He might have liked to crush bugs as a cadet, but he probably tried and learned to draw the line at eating them. In the human world, though, he might like some of those things with the sliminess deep-fried out of them, perhaps.

Speaking of, food texture is also a type of texture, and in addition to slimy and slippery, he can't do stringy, fibrous stuff in food, especially if it is both slippery and stringy like some veggies. We know he likes sweets and snack foods, and I do think those are things he truly likes, but things like sweets are also a lot safer for someone who can be hypersensitive to the point of some mouth feels making him physically sick. Some may perceive this as childish, but to him it's just survival when the wrong bite can make him feel so awful. Some foods he just can't tolerate at all, but I can see Hanbee teaching him how to prepare fruits and vegetables in ways that don't trigger his sensory issues, as he would never be able to say “do this, do that” to Suzuya but would want him to get his vitamins and minerals. I could write a whole post about the adventurous, slightly strange eater that would be unlocked once he got a good introduction to preparing food in different ways that truly change the texture of the ingredients.

Not exactly a texture but still relating to his sense of touch, he really can't do light touch, as hyposensitive as he is to pain and deep pressure. To him, light touch is much, much more noxious than pain and he can really lash out against something brushing up against him. Often he grabs or strikes an offending hand or body part to get it away before his mind can even catch up to him, not hard, but how hard he does it doesn't always matter when people around him already perceive him as violent.

and his triggers in general too

As far as his other (sensory, which I hope is what you were wanting to know) triggers and hypersensitivities, he struggles with loud noises although his threshold for them is somewhat bigger than textures-- ie he can handle weapons clashing in battle, loud music when he's out somewhere fun, stuff with an end in sight that either can or does last short enough that it won't become too much before it's over. If it lasts too long, is too loud and piercing, he's having a sensitive day, or any combination of the above, though, it can very much push him to the meltdown point. Piercing, high-frequency sounds or too many sounds going on are also hard for him and will make him clap his hands over his ears SO FAST.

Same with bright lights. There's a threshold, he can handle them to some degree especially if there's a good (to him) reason for him to, but he's still hypersensitive to them. Fluorescent lights at the field office, for example, are another thing he's willing to get on his superiors' bad side for when he doesn't have an office and will just turn off half the lights in the bullpen (I would think they have one of those?) and when people just get annoyed and turn them back on, he would learn to mess with the breakers to where it's not easily undone and looks like an electrical problem. Amon would HATE the sight of him wearing sunglasses indoors and that would make him want to utilize this coping mechanism more. When he is a senior investigator and squad leader who does get a little office of his own, it's just barely light enough for him to read and do paperwork by.

Smells, though, I actually see him being hyposensitive to for the most part. I can see him going into a candle shop, bakery, buffet, anything with lots of options displayed in an easily accessible way and just wanting to pick up everything to sniff it, though he can't always do that because with food that is unsanitary and will get him kicked out. He also has a high tolerance that he hasn't actually found the limit to thus far for filthy crime scenes and rotting gore that even seasoned investigators have to go and vomit at the stench of.

As far as taste, though mouth feel is a different story, I see it also being a more hyposensitive sense for him. He loves to experiment with different flavors of things and is that person who seeks out foods that are really sour, really spicy, really minty, stuff like that that makes his whole face feel the taste of it. Again, would just pick things up and sample them as a stim if it wouldn't get him banned from places with delicious food, and I see him as one of those autistics to whom eating food is a stim. I can also see him liking the taste of alcoholic things for this reason, although on an unrelated note I don't see him as a drinker because he is an angry not-fun-to-be-around drunk; booze is best left as something to soak confections in or savor one single serving of, but he does like the burn.

also a guide on how to touch him right pleaaase???tyyy

As mentioned, he is a mixed bag of hyper and hyposensitivies, and deep pressure is something he seeks out just as hard has he avoids light touch. We see him do a lot of the classic signs of this kind of sensory seeking in canon, such as physically risky behaviors, indifference to pain, and constant movement. As far as sharing physical touch with another person, though, which he don't really see in canon, he has a need to be squeezed.

Starting with stuff that can be read as conventionally casual and platonic, I have mentioned he likes Akira and only Akira messing with his hair. That's for the same reason anyone else would run away screaming from having their hair done by her: the result might look amazing, unlike Touka's home hair attempts, but we know she's not the warmest character and can be just as insensitive as Suzuya in her own way as a person. As a hairstylist she really gets in there with combs and brushes and will pull to get a lock perfectly detangled or a braid tight enough to stay intact even while fighting for life and limb against an SS-rank ghoul, all while too absorbed in the task at hand to notice her victim is crying. Honestly, someone might see her updos around the office and convince themselves they can sit through it, but it's too much suffering, even for the most beautiful hair of their lives. For him, though, it's akin to a nice spa day, pleasant and relaxing. Horseplay and sparring also count as touch to him, and are pretty hard to go wrong with since that is always going to be heavy, hard bodily contact. Same with those hearty, macho claps on the shoulder I've mentioned before.

Going a little ways up the conventional ladder of intimacy, giving his hands or his shoulder a squeeze is nice and always advisable, especially when he's fidgety and stressed. Giving him a tight bear hug is the nicest, but you can't be scared to break him, or chances are you're not going to hug hard enough. He also loves to cuddle, but someone has to be laying a lot of body weight on the other. Once that is happening, though, it's even better than a weighted blanket or throwing someone to a mat. He could have a rib broken and still just be disappointed that it means he can't be physically crushed that hard again. Just like he relishes one of his cats or a stray animal laying in his lap, he likes to lean against people he knows won't shoo him away, and would also enjoy having his partner fall asleep against his shoulder or in his lap. Kisses are also fun and exciting for him, but he can't do the light pecks on the cheek and brushes of lips; gotta put some pressure and confidence into it, even if it doesn't get deeper in any other way.

Touching the rest of his body is where I see things getting emotionally fraught for him in addition to having the potential to be real overstimulating real fast. These are the areas of his body that are easily hidden by a nightshirt, a scrapper's costume, or a pretty dress without marring the beautiful doll he was supposed to be, so that's where only Madam ever touched him, and all she gave him were scars. This is where his control over the situation is just as important to him as the physical sensation being pleasant. I know my word choices sound sexual, but this doesn't even mean sex.

We know he is into underground body modification for example, but I see him being strictly DIY if he wants to feel the sensation of needles through his skin, which is the real reason he has his own stitches while not having any conventional piercings or tattoos; office rules wouldn't stop him lmao, he just can't do those himself with as much room for error. Sharing a shower or bath would be all fun and games, and he would like to wash someone's hair and body as a gesture of affection, and the hot water would be nice for him, but don't try to return the favor after he's had his fun. He would enjoy kissing someone all over in a merciless flurry, but honestly, the best way to approach something like that is to let him take what he wants and leave what he doesn't. He's direct enough that if he does want something different, he will get it. This is another small reason I think he pairs well with someone as shy to even try returning the favor as Mutsuki tbh

Hopefully it's not information you were hoping for, because I'm going to stop there as far as stages of intimacy that I googled for the purpose of this ask go. I have headcanons and things to say and would be totally cool answering more r-rated and up questions if one were to ask them directly. I just would rather disappoint someone who didn't ask for explicit content but would have liked reading it than blindside someone who didn't want to read it, you know?

[mad4turtles]

hello hello! first things first, i’d like to say i love all of your fics !! your way of writing fluff is so sweet !!

i also come with a fic req (no pressure, of course) !! i’d love to see a body swap fic in your style !! but only if that’s something you’d like to write. either way, i hope you take care of yourself before anything else and have a great day !!

Ooookay, I had both a field day AND a headache from this, because it's SUCH a good prompt that I'm tempted to make a part 2, but I don't know enough about a specific disorder that's a common headcanon in the fandom to do it confidently, so, for now, this will stay as a one-shot. I hope you like it, though!

---

Leo swears someone out there is out to get them. It's the only explanation he can think of as he stares at himself in the bathroom mirror.

Donnie's deadpan face stares back at him.

They'd all woken up like this. Different rooms, different bodies and different faces staring back at them on every reflective surface. Leo won't deny that he'd screamed the loudest, lamenting the loss of his beautiful face. Donnie, stuck in Leo's body (of course, why not?), had immediately blamed Leo for reasons the (former)slider cannot fathom. Probably because it's easier than blaming himself, again, with no grounds to speak of.

It had been hilarious watching Raph try to be the big brother in Mikey's little body. It was less fun to watch Mikey nearly cry after breaking everything he touched with unchecked strength and a body three sizes bigger. 

(Makes Leo wonder just how much Raph has been holding back on them. He thinks of the Kraang and quickly decides it doesn't matter.)

What matters is Leo getting back into his own body before Donnie decides to punch himself in the face. 

Draxum had laughed for thirty minutes when they called but eventually promised to have something of an explanation and a cure by the end of the day. Splinter and April weren't much better. Casey Jr, bless him, was torn between genuine concern and exhaustion—“How many 'shenanigans' can you get up to in less than three stories?!” “Stop breaking the freakin' wall!”—which, fair enough. 

Cassandra had looked at them once and demanded that 'Orange Raph' fight her. “I want to test my might against the future Mystic Warrior! With Raphael's nature, it is sure to be a battle of the ages!”

Spoiler alert: it was not. Leo thinks they're still tangled up in Mikey's chains in the rafters. He wonders if April's gotten them down yet.

In the meantime, Leo decides to... explore? Is that the right word? It sounds gross, considering the circumstances, but that's essentially what he's doing. He's lived with Donnie all their lives, and this is the closest he's ever been (or ever really wanted to be) to his twin. Plus, he's a different species of turtle now. It's so freaking wild, and he can't help himself. He's curious.

He pokes and prods in ways his touch-sensitive brother will never usually allow on a good day—he touches his face (so square, but dude, what a wicked jawline!), his arms (Donnie's always been a little broader than Leo, stronger than he lets on), pulls at his fingers (there are burns and scars on the pads from welding and training, a tooth-mark from when Leo bit him when they were three and a few more from before Don had curbed the habit with other stims), his legs (Donnie what the hell have you done to your knees? Did the Avatar take away your bending?!) and lastly—

His hand hovers over the rim of Donnie's shell.

The soft shell has often been a no-go zone. Except for emergencies (and Leo, because it's a scientific fact that sliders ride soft-shells like a skateboard, and Donnie makes the best pillow). But otherwise, touching the shell unprompted would earn them a hiss at best, and a bite at worst. Leo's body has scars to prove it. 

But since the invasion, Donnie has been... particular about his shell. Since being ripped out of the Technodrome after being subjected to actual sensory hell (Leo will never forgive himself for putting his twin through that, whether he knew or not). He barely lets anyone near it now, not even Leo, unless he whines hard enough for a cuddle. Even then, that's only after the nightmares.

He'd promised not to mess around, fun as it would be. With Raph, he might've done—a smashing spree in some condemned building sounded goddamn cathartic—and with Mikey, he'd probably dip his toe in the overflowing pool of mystic energy in his baby brother's core, maybe learn a thing or two. 

But Donnie is different. And for the first time ever, he truly, truly, understands.

He leaves the shell alone and leaves the bathroom. He'll mess with his eyebrows instead.

~0o0~

“Nardo, I require assistance!”

Oh, thank god, something to do. Leo rolls off the beanbag, stretching until bones crack, yawing wide. Donnie had said not to mess around, but he said nothing against naps, and god did Donnie need one. “'s still so friggin' weird hearing my voice talkin' with your dead-ass tone, Dee,” he calls sleepily, lumbering towards the lab. Three hours was too long and yet not enough.

“It is about as jarring as hearing my voice using dumb slang and quoting Vines and seeing my own body wearing your skirts,” Donnie calls back, with Leo's voice, and yep, it's still freaking weird. About as weird as entering the lab to see him surrounded by tech, fingers flying and hands reaching with confidence as though he were born with it. 

Watching his body handle Donnie's machines so efficiently makes Leo's skin itch. Or maybe that's Donnie's body having a natural, visceral reaction to seeing anyone touch his shit. Which is fair, really. Leo got pissed seeing Donnie in his clothes in the mirror, ready to complain about the battle shell stretching his favourite sweater, only to remember. This whole thing sucks.

“So,” Leo drags the word out, plodding over to where Le—Donnie is sitting in the organized chaos of what looks to be another battle shell. “Whatcha need, Don-tron? Dearest twin? Brother whom I love very much and would be nothing without his incredible one-liners, his charm and wit, his beautiful—”

“Just because you're saying things with my voice doesn't make any of those statements true,” Donnie mutters, sliding the goggles off his face and climbing unsteadily to his feet. Must be disorienting since Leo is not only half a foot shorter than Don but carries a slightly heavier shell. He turns to Leo, hands fluttering at his sides—

“Shit, what did I do?” Leo yelps, hopping back a step.

“What? Nothing, nothing's wrong, why're you—?”

“Your—my—you got the flutters, my guy. Sending me a lot of mixed signals, and my—your body is telling me to react by biting, and I cannot stress enough how much I don't want that.”

“Wha—oh.” Donnie clenches his hands into fists. “I'm—I'm not angry with you, Leo, it's just—this whole situation is frustrating. I can't find an answer, Draxum hasn't shown up yet, I'm not in my own freaking body, and you—your body is so different, like, your head is clearer than mine and yet just as cluttered and messy, and I can touch and smell and eat things that I couldn't before because you're not as sensitive to it, but I also can't stand up straight without tripping over my own feet because of the differences in height and weight, and I'm constantly reaching for my battle shell only it's not there because I technically don't need it for the first time in my life and now I'm doing that—thing that you do where you ramble yourself into circles when you're upset because I'm working myself up because this is different I don't like different and oh look at that my hands are flapping am I about to take off? I do not know? I need—god, Leo, I need—”

Leo watches his eyes well up with tears, hands flapping as Donnie tries to articulate his needs. Needs he doesn't normally have in his own body because of his aversions. Donnie doesn't need touch all the time. Leo does, almost constantly, as much as Mikey does. The lack of it can drive him up the goddamn wall, which is why he always bugs his brothers, or Dad, or whoever's closest that wouldn't mind being used as a climbing frame or a pillow for a few minutes.

God, this must be hell on Donnie. Much like trying to put make-up on or wrap himself up in his favourite blanket had been actual torture for Leo. 

(Just like the thought of hugging makes Leo's—Donnie's skin crawl uncomfortably. Leo kind of wants to cry, too.)

But he swallows it down like he does every other bad thing and spreads his arms. Donnie looks up with Leo's teary eyes and stares. Leo smiles. “C'mon, big brother,” he says. He means it, but he also just wanted to hear Donnie say it.

Donnie twists his face into something half grateful and irritated and throws himself at Leo, squeezing tight enough to hurt even with Donnie's battle shell. Leo feels a shudder run through him—no no no no no get off get off get off nope nope nope do not TOUCH me—and forces his arms to wrap around Donnie's shoulders, squeezing back. 

Donnie sighs, breath hitching. “Oh my god,” he says, “I have never, in my life, needed this much physical contact. Oh my god. I think I actually get you, Nardo. And Mikey, too, I guess. All this because I needed a hug. Jeezy heckin' creezy, how do you live like this?”

Leo swallows hard. “Same way you live like everything burns when you don't want anyone touching you,” he says. There's a lump in his throat, suddenly, when it hits him. “... yet you do it anyway.”

Donnie nuzzles Leo's shoulder, seeking warmth and attention the way Leo has always done—needed to—and sending more sparks through Leo's—Donnie's—system. “... well, yeah,” he says. “I knew how bad it could get for you, but... I guess I never got how bad it could feel. And besides, you guys are usually great telling when I'm open for a cuddle or when I will literally kill you on sight if you touch me, so... wait, are you—?”

“I am on freaking fire, Donnie—”

“Oh my freaking god, let go then, you idiot, that is my body's way of telling me I'm about to have a meltdown—!” 

“But you need—need a hug—”

“Then I'll go to Raph or Mikey—whichever isn't still hanging from the ceiling, just let go! You are literally seconds from crashing, come on, I'll give you my special stuff from my special closet. Christ on a bike, Leon, you're as stressed as I am, a nap won't fix it, and an unwanted hug certainly won't—”

“Don, 's too loud—!”

“Shit, shit, sorry—here, put on my headphones and take the fluffy duck. This looks like it's gonna be a bad one, so get your—my ass in the closet. Get my whole ass in there, yep, good boy, get all nice and cosy, wow you ramble a lot when you're stressed out—”

“Hisssss—“

“Holy shit that's actually scary from a different perspective, I'll shut up now. You know the drill; I'll come to check on you after an hour. I'll grab the others for a turtle pile afterwards, I'm usually in the mood for that after a bad one, but—yeah, I'll go now, love you, don't bite or hit yourself, I'm gonna go glomp Mikey in Raph's body for a spine-breaking hug.”

Donnie shuts the closet door, and the darkness, surrounded by all of Donnie's 'special sensory things', is an instant relief.

Screw the T.V. tropes, Leo thinks as he breathes through fat tears and hiccuping sobs, rocking back and forth and squeezing the fluffy duck plush to quell the urge to hit himself. Body swaps suck. 

---

Reblogs are appreciated :3

Feel free to send me more prompts! &lt;3

[singrate]

Charlie Spring is Also Autistic

A little while ago I made this post about Nick Nelson being autistic and got a handful of requests for one about Charlie because, well, obviously. So here it is.

First of all:

I'm sure you agree.

This post won’t be as long as the Nick one because quite frankly I am trying not to ramble. Once again referencing the webcomic and the series. 

TW: very brief mention of OCD & eating disorders

The Converse collection. And the knitwear collection. Even the skinny jeans. He always wears the same jumper/jeans or button up/t-shirt/jeans combination. I just know he rotates through wearing all of his jumpers because he doesn’t want any of them to be left out.

The jumpers are definitely a sensory thing, too — in the part about their wardrobes at the end of Volume 2 Alice mentions that he loves anything ‘snuggly and oversized.’

Both in the webcomic and the series, Charlie’s ‘misfit’ status is fairly important to his character, regardless of whether or not he’s popular. Even though he fits in well with his friends, there’s something that makes him quite distinctly different from everyone around him.

His special interests are indie/alternative music, classic literature and ancient history, especially Roman and Greek. 

Drumming is a stim for him. At the start of S01E02, right after that delightful encounter with Ben, and in the scene with Tori in S01E08, it’s fairly clear he’s using it as a way to process and release his emotions.

When he wears headphones on the bus… yeah. Stressed, anxious; much more likely to be overstimulated. 

Pattern recognition: he picks up pretty early on that Nick probably isn’t straight and nobody else around him believes him.

Mental illnesses like OCD and anorexia are commonly comorbid with autism.

His resting face. That’s all.

Actually, that’s not all. These too:

There's so many more of these but I don't have the energy to find screencaps for all of them right now. Also, getting home from school and immediately collapsing on his bed.

The wave in S01E01 and S01E06 when saying bye to Nick. Can’t find screencaps but you know the one.

And the little giggle after Nick tackles him and says, “Well done!”

His sense of humour is exactly the sort of offbeat sarcasm a lot of autistic people use. “Oh, she left, long ago!” (S01E01) (same vibe as Tori asking, “Was he a knob?” because obviously Tori is also autistic and I find the similarities between these two so wonderful), “I’m not hiding.” “Then what are you doing?” “Eating lunch.” (S01E01)

Saying sorry a lot. First of all, he’s not sure when it’s appropriate/necessary to apologise and when it isn’t. Secondly, it seems like a form of masking — he is likely aware of his tendency to miss social cues but doesn’t know which ones he’s missing and apologises as a way to compensate.

There is just something very autistic to me about the way he delivers his monologues — to Nick in S01E04, staring at the floor the whole time, hello??, to Ben in S01E01 and S01E08, just very impassioned and earnest, but still kind of monotone. Yeah.

A lot of his lines from the series that people (mostly on Tiktok) find cringe are just like… things that an autistic teenager would say? S01E01 after Nick’s pen explodes when he says, “You should make it the new school fashion!”, S01E01 when he’s confronting Ben: “Thanks for telling me. Oh wait… you didn’t”, “Why are we like this??”, the ‘gay panic’ lock screen, I’ll probably think of more of these later because Heartstopper Tiktok does not deserve Charlie.

Isolating himself when he’s struggling socially because dealing with anybody, even his close friends, is just too much. I think that one is fairly universal for autistic people.

Just want to add that Joe Locke did such a good job of bringing Charlie to life. His delivery is literally perfect and I will not ever shut up about this.

Anyway, feel free to add stuff!

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

hi! i swear i've sent this ask before and if there was a reason for not responding to that then please just ignore this but. i remember you mentioning something about echolalia and was wondering what your experience with that was or if you have any resrouces on it. when i first learned about it i felt so called out it wasn't even funny, and i haven't been able to find much at all

hi sorry took a SUPER long time ive had zero energy to answer asks for awhile now

my experience with echolalia* mostly revolves around animal noises & tv & movies & sometimes music. like i meow a lot because my cat meows and i need to meow back. and when i'm watching things i'll repeat what the characters say, like watching the good place i always repeat chidi's "peeps in the chili pot" line & watching the hunger games i always go "that is MAHOGANY". then with music ill just randomly say lyrics after ive listened to the song (delayed echolalia) like "everybody burn the house right down" from house of wolves

there is functional/interactive echolalia & non-interactive echolalia. most of mine is non-interactive except for when im in speech loss, or when someone else opens conversation (like if they say HI i'll say HI if they say GREEMTINKS i'll go GREEMTINKS if they say BRO i'll go BRO). functional echolalia has a purpose; it's used in conversation. like, someone might say "do you want milk?" and the person with echolalia will go "do you want milk" back or "want milk". non-interactive echolalia is echolalia that's not directly used to converse (like my "that is MAHOGANY").

immediate echolalia (kind i usually have) and delayed echolalia (i do this sometimes) are also different types of echolalia. immediate is repeated right after you hear the thing, delayed is repeated after a significant amount of time.

some people communicate entirely in echolalia while others communicate largely in echolalia and others communicate equally or less than with normal words as they do echolalia. it all depends

echolalia is one of the echophenomenon; echolalia is echoing vocalizations, echopalilalia is a subset of echolalia where you echo words, echopraxia is echoing actions, echopathy is echolalia + echopraxia, & echoplasia is like. tracing the contours of objects. i believe there's also one for echoing written words out loud (which i do) but i don't remember what it's called

echolalia isn't the same as vocal stimming! it is good to try and figure out whether you're stimming or doing echolalia (though ofc there can be an overlap). vocal stimming is sensory stimulation (hence being a STIM) and echolalia is a form of communication in some way (even non-interactive echolalia is still kind of communicating). im not very good at breaking down the specifics though and really just use whatever makes most sense

i hope this helped inform you! somewhat! unfortunately i do not have resources but maybe people in the notes will!!

sorry this took so long lol

(*for those who don't know: echolalia is basically repeating things back, usually automatically, as a form of speech or communication)

[echo-bleu]

hello! I saw one of your previous asks and I was wondering if I could ask you for some writing help too! I have an autistic character that i love, but I'm not sure how to convey that this character is autistic in a way that feel aunthentic and organic instead of stereotyped, specially since she's a girl and I haven't seen many (accurate) representations of autistic girls in the media. I've seen videos about autistic people and they've been very helpful on what not to do, but + I would still love

to get some of the 'do's' what i have so far is that she has a Fixation on the sea, she has a hard time reading sarcasm and/or emotions in others, and she has an overall seemingly 'detached' personality (even if I wouldn't call her that, since she cares about the people she loves, she's just bad at putting it into words). I jsut want to make sure i'm on the right path! thank you so much for listening and I hope this is not a bother!

Hi Anon! I’m not bothered at all and I’m happy to answer this kind of ask. As always, I can only speak for myself, but I’ll try to give you a few pointers. (The previous ask mentioned is this one.)

First, it’s lovely to hear about an autistic girl! I’m not sure if you’re speaking about an adult or a child/teenager, but either way, it can be interesting to read about how autism can look a bit different in women. The gender distinction that has often been made is something I don’t agree with because I feel that it’s an unnecessary shortcut, but a number of autistic people, in majority women and people socially perceived as female, learn to “adapt” more to neurotypical standards by masking their autistic traits a lot, and might not be detected as autistic until adulthood. Masking takes a lot of energy, which can translate as feeling “socially exhausted” all the time and lead to burnout. This article list traits that can be found that are less common and obvious. It is far from perfect imo, but it can give you new ideas!

You didn’t really say if your character is a main or a side character (which changes the amount of detail you’ll want to go into) but so far to me you seem to be on the right track! Having a hard time reading people is something a lot of us struggle with. It might not just be sarcasm, btw, understanding metaphors and jokes can also be hard. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have a sense of humor: it’s entirely possible to be able to use sarcasm and struggle with noticing it when it comes from other people, and a lot of autistic people have a very developed and specific sense of humor that can be seen as odd.

The “detached” personality is something you may have to handle with care because lack of empathy is a harmful stereotype. Maybe look up the difference between cognitive and affective empathy. Some of us do struggle with empathy, many of us struggle with expressing it in a way that’s comprehensible to neurotypicals, but it doesn’t mean that we lack it. It’s fine for your character to struggle with it, but be careful that she doesn’t end up seeming cold/robotic if she’s not the POV character.

Now for some “do’s”: I’m only going to talk about autistic traits here and assume that you’ve fleshed her out with an actual personality outside of her autism, just like you would any other character.

- I agree that it has to come up organically, but it would be a lot better in terms of representation to make her explicitly autistic, ie use the word autistic. It doesn’t have to be at the beginning of the story. If you’re in a fantasy setting or for some other reason you can’t use the actual word, then describing something like neurodiversity would be a good way to make it explicit. In fanfic, I personally think that tagging “autistic [character]” is enough if the fic is short(ish) and the word isn’t used in the story but the character’s autism is fairly clear, but in an original story, you don’t really have that possibility.

- Something I like to do when coming up with original autistic characters is to choose a few specific stims from them, that regularly come back in my descriptions. It falls under the same umbrella as choosing mannerisms, it gives characters their own specific flavor. You can choose a happy stim, a nervous stim and a bored stim, for example. Autistics stim a lot and in a lot of ways, but I think most of us have a few stims that come back often. It can be things like chewing on a toy/finger, flapping in a specific way, rocking on their heels, twirling hair, fidgeting with a toy or jewelry.

- Sensory differences. It’s also something that you can choose for your character: maybe she likes to listen to music very loudly, and often speak a little too loudly, or on the contrary she’s hyperacusic. She might wear sunglasses outside, or need lights on all the time. She might need subtitles to understand a movie, or be super distracted by sparkly things. She might not make eye contact, or make it too much, or seem to make it by looking somewhere close to the person’s eyes. She might find touch painful or difficult, or seek it constantly, or both (can depend on the moment, how tired she is, or if she trusts the person).

- Like I’ve said before, meltdowns/shutdowns are a delicate thing to portray if you’re not autistic yourself, but overloading can and does happen without going all the way to either of them. It’s actually fairly frequent, and happens when there is too much sensory (or emotional) stimuli at the same time or a too long day or something. From the inside, it can look like struggling to think, feeling like your skin is crawling, feeling like everything is too much, and struggling to initiate actions/figure out the steps to do something. From the outside, it can look like the person is rejecting touch, needs to isolate themself, is irritated, might struggle to speak/be very quiet. As long as the character isn’t mocked for their behavior, I think it’s something you can portray without too much risk.

- A specific interest about the sea is a nice idea! The sea is a very large subject, though, so she’ll probably have a predilection for some things. Is it water currents? Fish species? Underwater plants? Beaches? There’s a lot of options to choose from here.

- Maybe think about co-occuring conditions, because most of us have at least one. Some are very hard to distinguish from autism itself, like dyspraxia or ADHD, because they’re linked or similar to autistic traits. A lot of us are also disabled in some other way:  for example there’s a clear (though unexplained) link between autism and hyperflexibility, which can lead to joint pain, gut issues and chronic illnesses like EDS. Many of us have mental illnesses, growing up autistic in this world is honestly traumatizing and it’s hard to find autistics without some kind of C-PTSD or anxiety (on that subject, this post points out that the current diagnostic criteria can probably only diagnose traumatized autistic people anyway).

- A pretty good portrayal of an autistic girl (and to my knowledge the only one where the actor is also autistic) is Matilda in Everything’s Gonna be Okay. I didn’t actually watch until the end and I’ve been told the last episode isn’t great, but the start was pretty good. She’s a teenager, and at one point gets a girlfriend who is also autistic and has a service dog. In Elementary, while Sherlock is only autistic-coded, there is at one point (season 4 I believe) a recurring character named Fiona who I thought was a pretty good portrayal as well. She’s an adult, and she’s stereotypical in some ways but it’s better than most portrayals I’ve seen or read.

I would advise you to have a look through the blog @cripplecharacters. They answer asks about disabled characters, and I know they have answered a number of questions about autism and have at least one autistic mod. Their answers are usually very interesting!

[gretavanfleetposts]

hiya! congrats on 300 followers, it's absolutely deserved <3 i was wondering if i could request a ship? i love how detailed you make them, they're always so lovely

my name is léna (she/they), i'm queer and a capricorn :) i'm 5'2 with blue eyes and jaw length curly blonde hair. i'm a linguistics major with a minor in queer/gender studies (i also studied music psych and history of art in the past, which i'm still very interested in)

i'm an ambivert, i love being with my friends and partying but always need some quiet/alone time to recharge. my add sometimes makes it hard for me to stay comfortable in social situations, as i can stim a lot and get severe touch and sound sensory overload and it's very tiring

my favourite books have to be one last stop, the heartstopper series, and the picture of dorian gray! my go-to movies will always be tangled, lotr/the hobbit, and howl's moving castle :)

my brother and i were raised on rock by our parents so my pick-me-up song is don't stop me now by queen, and i listen to so many different genres my shuffle always gives me the weirdest mixes

in my free time i play the guitar and sing, bake a lot of gluten free stuff, read/write stories, and go to museums or hang out with my best friends at cafés <3 when i'm back home from uni for summer and christmas i work at my local bookstore!

my ultimate favourite pieces of clothing have to be my thrifted oversize jean jacket and my doc martens, can't go anywhere without them

i have three cats that i miss dearly and absolutely cannot keep a plant alive, no matter what kind it is

sorry that this turned out to be so long, i hope that's ok! take care <3

Hey gorgeous!

❤: First of all, you sound so smart. You talked about like 4 different things in regards to your schooling and each one sounded impressive. You seem like you're very open to learning which is always a good thing. I love your movie taste; you seem like the perfect person to marathon LOTR with. And honestly it sounds like there's nothing you're not good at?? Talk about talented. Also I wish I worked at a bookstore. You're out here living the dream. Not to mention, you've broken in Doc Martens which is truly the most impressive part of all of this.

Ship: Jake

Because: You and Jake would instantly bond over rock music, obviously. But you also have so many other interests that scream Jake in my opinion. You guys would play the guitar together, you'd read together, you'd have crazy loud nights with his band mates and then go home and recharge together. I can see him popping into the bookstore you work at to surprise you while he's home for the holidays, too, which would probably be the best surprise ever.

Scenario:

Christmas in your town was usually one of your favorite times of the year

The town was strung up with lights and wreaths and garland; it looked like something out of a Hallmark movie

The bookstore you worked at over the holiday season was especially festive this time of year, decorations gracing practically every open surface

Normally as you bustled about the store, you'd be filled with excitement about Christmas but this year, all you could think about was the boy that was with his family in Michigan and once again too far away from you

It felt like Jake had just gotten done touring when he jetted back home to his family and of course, you understood. You wanted him to be there with them. But you hadn't seen him in almost two months and it was starting to get to you

He did promise he would come see you after the holidays so you were trying to keep your mind focused on that as you organized the books on the shelf in front of you

The day eased on slowly despite how busy the store was throughout the morning and by late afternoon when the sun was already casting golden shadows through the store windows, there was a lull in customers

You meandered around the tight aisles of books, looking for covers to tidy to busy your hands

You heard the bell of the front door as it swung open and the footsteps of a customer as they entered but continued what you were doing when you heard your coworker greet them

Noticing a book out of place, you had just plucked it from the shelf when you heard the voice of the customer speaking to the coworker that had greeted them muffled from somewhere within the store

It couldn't be him

It sure sounded like him, though

You wove through the aisles, trying to locate where the talking was coming from when suddenly it grew quiet

You stood there amongst the books for a moment, silently wondering if you were going crazy or not, when a voice came from directly behind you

"Excuse me, miss, but I believe the other clerk said you'd be able to help me find a certain book?"

You spun around fast. It was Jake

The book in your hand dropped to the ground as you practically jumped into his arms and threw your own around his neck, an excited squeal escaping your lips

You felt a laugh resonate through him as he placed your feet back on the floor

He explained that he couldn't wait any longer to see you so he planned to spend Christmas with you and your family and then whisk you away to Christmas with his family

And truly you couldn't be more delighted to accompany him

I'm so happy you like our ships! Thank you for the request!

-⭐

Ships are currently closed

[autistic-answers]

Hi. I'm a recently diagnosed 26-year old autistic woman. There seems to be pretty widespread agreement in the autistic community that it's bad to want a cure, but I kinda don't get it? As far as I can tell, autism only contributes negatives to my life. I would love to get rid of the sensory issues, the executive function issues, and the trouble understanding people. I get that it may be impractical to find a cure, but if it weren't, why is it bad to want one?

trigger warning for ableism, eugenics, genocide

I understand.

Autism is a real disability. Some things truly are harder for us. Some things we can’t do. It’s okay to be frustrated by this. Many autistic people sometimes wish that they were not autistic.

Let’s talk about how autism works for a minute. Autism is caused by a “supercharged brain,” with more neural connections and activity (at least, if I am interpreting the research correctly). It is hardwired into the structure of your brain.

You couldn’t remove autism from your brain without ripping it apart. There’s no one “autism part” of your brain. It’s everywhere. It’s deeply ingrained.

There are 2 types of autism cures that people talk about:

Fake “cures” sold by scammers (e.g. Miracle Mineral Solution), which may be useless, harmful, or potentially deadly

Eugenic cure (creating a test for autism, testing fetuses for autism, and aborting the fetuses that test positive)

(The eugenics movement around WWII posed two more solutions: forced sterilization of disabled people, or killing disabled people, which Hitler did. Nowadays we don’t see many people advocating for these.)

A world without autism would be a world in which you and I are either dead or never given a chance to live.

Realistically speaking... you were born autistic, and you will die autistic. There is no magic pill to ravage your brain and destroy its structure, as that would tend to kill you.

Will humans someday learn how to change the intricate structure of the brain without destroying it? Maybe. I’m not a scientist. But I don’t think we should pin our hopes on a possibility that is unlikely to happen in our lifetimes, and could be very dangerous.

Now let’s talk about attitudes about autism.

Society tends to see autism in a deeply negative light. This isn’t an accident; society is inherently ableist and we have groups like Autism Speaks working to keep it that way.

Ever heard of the social model of disability? It’s the idea that disability is caused by society, not by inability. I always like to describe it using my glasses.

My eyesight is not great. With my eyes, I can’t read clocks, signs, even these words on the screen. My eyes are less capable. There are things my eyes can’t do.

And you know what? None of that matters! I have these magical things called glasses. They level the playing field. I have exactly the same opportunities as my friends with 20/20 vision.

Poor vision is a difference in ability that society accommodates.

Autism is not.

What if nobody paid attention to your stimming because they considered it normal? What if the world was designed to eliminate painful sensory stimuli, and to provide opportunities for sensory seekers to get their needs met? What if meltdowns and shutdowns were seen as normal, and there were quiet rooms in every building where you could go to calm down? What if honesty about one’s feelings were more common? Autism might not be such a big deal then, huh?

The problem isn’t that you were born different. The problem is that society does not adequately support your differences. This lack of support is what defines a disability.

Besides, not all your differences are deficits. Some of these strengths may sound like you:

Enhanced pattern recognition

Focused special interests

Loyalty

Better observation skills

Helpfulness towards other

Superior long-term memory

...and that’s just the beginning. Check out this article for even more.

I’d also like you to read the article “How to Accept Your Autism.” Heck, bookmark it. You shouldn’t have to go through life hating the way you are. Autistic people can be wonderful, capable, caring people. Redefine what success means for you, and work towards goals that will improve your happiness.

(”Being more neurotypical” is a garbage goal. Please take out the trash. You are only going to be sadder if you spend your time comparing yourself to others.)

Here are some example goals that are really good for you:

Spend time with my special interest(s) each day

Hang out with people who make me happy

Eat more fruits and vegetables

Get better at recognizing sensory overload, and taking breaks to keep it from getting worse

Buying and using some great stim toys

Writing down 3 good things that happened today before going to bed

You are good enough the way you are. You are not bad for being autistic. Please stop looking down on yourself. You are worth so much more.