#now i’m gonna go crack codes in the Journal 3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goliath-de-senfina-sango · 5 years

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Local Teen Shows Parents Why He Needs This Paranormal Weapon, Boy Possibly Hallucinating or Psychic, Children Risk Lives to Save Lives and Bicker About Responsiblity, Boy Silently Ponders if Magick Food Counts as Drug

When Tucker got home, his parents fussed over him, scolded him for not telling them that he was fighting ghosts that came after him and Danny, and made sure that he kept as off his leg as possible.

"You let me keep my bow and arrows! I can do more damage to a human being with those than I can with this ecto pistol. And I'm a great shot!"

"Does it have a safety? Magazines to remove?" Mom wasn't letting up on him for even a moment. She examined the gun from every angle before looking back at Tucker.

"Yes and no, respectively. The safety is currently on; it's right here but don't turn that off. What if I showed you how good a shot with this I am?"

Tucker's Dad, Maurice, heaved a sigh. "We let you keep the bow and arrows only after you proved you could handle having free access to them. This is… something."

"I'll set up the target, and you show me that you can reasonably use this without hurting yourself. Then, maybe, you can keep it." Mom put her hands on her hips. "You best not let any police officer catch you wielding this potentially deadly weapon."

"Understood!" Tucker saluted, heaving a tired sigh when his parents left to set up the target. Pulling out his PDA, Tucker typed into the schedule he was keeping for Danny, "Foley Shooting Range, hit the target." Setting that for 10 minutes, Tucker hopped his way to the kitchen and made himself a sandwich.

Once the time came, Tucker was outside in his backyard, his archery targets set up for him to shoot at. Leaning on his dad, Tucker raised his pistol and shot the targets one after the other. All of them hit, even if he missed the bullseye. He turned the safety back on and grinned. "Se-"

Three loud blasts flew from above them and Tucker looked up to see Skulker scowling at the wrist not protruding a big fuck off plasma cannon. From this angle, it looked almost like… it couldn’t be. “Is that my PDA?! I have 3 more payments on that!” Tucker nearly raised his pistol but considered that his Mom and Dad were there, and while he pitied the fool that confronted Angela Foley, this was a fight his parents couldn’t help him with. Nostrils flaring he glared up at Skulker with all the impotent rage he could muster and the robot flipped him off before flying away. “This is why I need this pistol; hostile ghosts can only really be hurt by Fenton weaponry.”

His parents were a touch easier to convince of letting him keep the Ecto Pistol after that. Tucker decided the best distractions were working on things, so he got to work on that A.I. and the car design.

Danny couldn't Not see it now and that was bothering him. That extreme indigo-esque color that blanketed the second plane of reality like a contact lens was now just barely there Everywhere. Danny could see and trace every electrical current around him, track his family by the individual aura each of them had, and if he actually tried to look on that second layer he could see threads binding them all together. The strongest ones connecting to him lead to Jazz and off into the distance. Probably to Sam and Tucker.

And so there Danny was, writing in his journal while everyone was at school for various reasons, and muttering to himself. "The ultraviolet light is starting to seep into my everyday vision, though mirror checks show no actual visible signs unless I actively check. Internet searches only call this whole aura thing The Sight, but unless I go out and look for naturally hidden ghosts and spirits, I can't be sure this is that. Is it safe to bring up that I can see the incorporeal if this is the Sight?" He tapped his cheek with the eraser of the mechanical pencil and hummed. "Debatable, consider later. Leaning toward No.

"Pressing issue is Skulker; how to trap him is key. He can't stand up to our bigger guns, that I'm sure of but we need to figure out how to out plan him." Danny groaned and dug the heel of his palm into his eye and rubbed away the exhaustion. "He can't attack me while I'm at home so this is both a safe zone and also an invalid area for the fight…"

Danny's phone rang and he nearly snapped his mechanical pencil in half. Thankfully he only cracked it and set it down gently. "Tucker, you nearly cost me another pencil." Reclining, he laid his head on his pillow and stared up at the constellations he made with glow in the dark stickers. "How's the leg and arm?"

"I'm not the source of your paranoia Danny, and you know it." Tucker snorted and Danny could practically see him rolling his eyes. "Arm's fine, the leg is still sore. How're you holdin up?"

"Lil freaked out cause I can see that whole uh second level of reality at all times now. It's a good thing I like indigo and blue. Also, I was able to calm Jazz down with that like, bond between us? It was weird but it worked."

"As glad as I genuinely am about this progress we still need to figure out the issue of Skulker," Sam said. Danny checked the time to see it was lunchtime. "One of us is gonna get killed, probably Danny, if we don't do something."

"I feel like I've noticed something weird about Skulker," Tucker said. "He could've shot a tranquilizer dart at all three of us on the way to school, or even just Danny before he met up with us, and be done with it. Instead, he sent a monster after us after we got around his trap."

Danny hummed, eyes narrowing. "Sam, what kind of animals did Grovsner kill in life?"

"The rare and about to go extinct kind," Sam growled.

"That's not what I meant, Sam. You said he died killing the last female purple back gorilla, right? What else did he go after? Did he have like, partners or…"

"No, actually. He always did his hunts solo, went after things like Cape Buffalo, Saltwater Crocodiles, endangered species of squid, sharks, other stuff like that." Sam took a few moments to breathe and stop herself from punching something, likely because Danny wasn't there to punch, and shortly asked, "why?"

"So he only went after dangerous animals alongside rare, showed off everything he caught if his behavior in death is the same as in life, and doesn't just Get It Over With no matter his opportunity to." Danny sat up, eyes wide. "Guys. He's not obsessed with being a hunter. He's obsessed with being seen as Strong!"

"Alright, question: what does obsession have to do with it?"

"C' mon Tuck, you've heard mom and dad rant and ramble. A ghost's form is informed by their self-image in life and they act primarily on their obsession. Agatha is obsessed with food, Skulker is obsessed with being seen as strong." Danny felt himself grinning wickedly and got up to pace. "But he's Not."

"Seemed pretty strong to me when he blew a hole in the observation tower, Danny." Tucker huffed. A pause. "Wait a minute: is he, in fact, a robot?"

Danny hummed. Closing his eyes, he focused on the hum of energy inside of him just past a layer of cold quiet, and visualized it spreading throughout his body. He could feel it tingling under his skin and could see it clearly, a vibrant green light that pushed steadily up to the surface of his skin and then out, blanketing over the room. For a moment, Danny's brain stuttered at the sensations it was forced to process, but he pushed on and reached out over the whole of his room. There! Getting up, Danny grabbed the metal panel that'd come off of Skulker when his mom shot him. It was sparking, wires exposed, a few buttons here and there with no discernible purpose at first glance. But the important thing was that it was still There. "No. If the robot was the ghost himself then any pieces that flew off would dissolve into ectoplasmic mist or goop. This bit is still here. Which means he's not strong enough to go after anything on his own." Danny squeezed, hissing when the wires sparked threateningly and tossed it on his desk.

"Sam," Tucker said, "you're filthy fuckin rich, right?"

"That is correct, Tucker, why?"

"So you own that zoo, right? That's how we got in at night?"

"… perhaps."

"Which means we can get back in, and set up a trap for Skulker, right?" Danny laughed and flopped into his chair.

"Tucker, you genius. But how are we gonna get him there?"

"Yesterday my parents were freakin out over everything and threatening to take my pistol away, blah blah, safety, all that junk.” Danny rolled his eyes, struggling to see the Foley’s point there. Danny had been trained to safely fire a gun as early as 11, hell he’d learned how to build one by then! Tucker could aim.

“You’re an archer. You have like, a quiver full of arrows and a bow in your home. What’s the difference?”

“I know that’s what I said! But anyway I convinced them to let me prove I could use it properly and know to put the safety back on afterward and I slipped into your schedule, which is linked between my PDAs by the way, to hit the bullseyes in the Foley Target Range. Guess who showed up at the exact time I scheduled that for.”

Danny’s eyes widened and his grin turned vicious as Sam asked, “Does this have to do with your missing PDA?”

“I think I saw it on his arm where Dr. Fenton had shot that panel thing off. He flipped me off and flew away but fuck, man, I’m glad he showed up. Means I can figure out his suit once all of this is over!”

“Sounds good Tuck. Hey, do you mind if I finish up our hoverboard? I have a feeling it’ll be useful.”

“Danny, bromigo, I beg of you: go do that right now. I have a plan, and the Nav Ai is almost done.”

Getting into the Zoo was easy. Sam got them in with access codes she had simply from being the owner, and they set up near the purple-backed gorilla habitat. “You know, Sam, if you’re so concerned about Sampson you can just order better conditions to be built for him.” Danny felt it needed to be said. She hadn't stopped ranting about Sampson in between all the planning, along with all the other animals she was technically in charge of. "This is your place, you can manage it how you want."

"Danny now is not the time for wisdom. Now is the time for taking down robotic assholes. Is your ectorifle charged up?"

"I sang it a battle hymn and it hummed to me of wars long and hard fought." Danny snorted at the dumbfounded looks on his friends' faces. "Yeah, I got it charged up guys, I just had to get into the armory for a little bit and Mom and Dad have been out patrolling with their ghost radar thing." Danny pulled out the rifle and checked it over one last time while Sam and Tucker set up around the cage, a large gorilla costume being pulled out of Tucker's stolen jacket pocket. "I still want that back after all of this is done."

"Make me one of my own and I'll definitely give you this one back, yes. That is a thing that will happen." Tucker giggled and Sam rolled her eyes.

"C' mon guys, we have no idea when Skulker is gonna strike nex-"

An explosion shook the ground between the trio, knocking them all back, and forcing them to cover their eyes to block out flying shards of concrete. When they opened them, the robotic poacher stood before them, toxic green mohawk of fire casting odd shadows over his faceplate and highlighting his predatory grin.

"You certainly know now, don't you girl?" Skulker raised his arm and the hand cannon that Tucker had described unfolded from a panel on his wrist. Before the charge up whine could reach its crescendo, a bolt of green plasma flew into Skulker's back and knocked him forward, burning a fist-sized hole in his back. Skulker turned to Danny with those fiery green eyes and a growl in his chest, firing his cannon at Danny instead. "That's the spirit! The kind of fight I've wanted in my prey for so long!"

Danny, filled with the writhing void that boiled with thousands upon billions of stars, took to the air a second too late and was knocked back on his ass. As he stumbled back up, Danny saw a flash of green and growled as Skulker turned a crossbow that emerged from his shoulder and fired back at Sam. Lunging with every ounce of speed he had in him, Danny only managed to get the bolt torn through his side while it grazed Sam's shoulder.

"Truly, I am disappointed; I expected a greater fight from you, ghost boy! Regardless, you shall look nice in your cage back on my island." Skulker stomped over and reached down to grab Danny by the throat and lifted him into the air triumphantly. "Truly, I am the greatest hunter in the Ethereal Plane!" Danny's ears were ringing, he was bleeding, and the sharp pain spread itself to every nerve in his semi-corporeal body. He laughed, hands grasping at the steel of Skulker's arm. "Why do you laugh, boy? You are defeated!"

"You're not even the best hunter in this zoo. Hell, you're not even a good hunter ghost in the first place. Just a sad little man who wanted to look big in life and couldn't help trying to do it again in death." White hot pain blossomed across his face when Skulker slapped him and Danny spat out some dark brown blood as the ringing set in his ear. "Can't even tell a hologram from a person."

Skulker stared at him for a long moment, silent and motionless, before his grip went slack and his mohawk died out. Danny floated backward from the suit and picked up his rifle, offering a salute to the sky, from which Tucker descended with his belly on the hoverboard. "You are being evicted from your mecha, repeat, your mech suit is being towed." Tucker punched a command into his PDA, and Skulker's chest plate unfolded, ripping open the shirt to reveal a compartment holding a tiny bipedal blob. An ameba that could fit in Danny's hand with eyes, a mouth, and limbs.

"Release- release me whelp! I shall have your head mounted on my bedroom wall and your pelt made into a rug!" Danny snatched it out of the suit and glared down at Grovsner with all the malice he was physically capable of feeling. A growl rumbled in Danny's chest and out of his mouth and he squeezed. "Alright alright, suck me up into your little soup can and-"

"You pathetic, arrogant, vile little ameba! You nearly killed Tucker and Sam! You electrocuted me! You put the lives of everyone at my school at risk! And for what? To show me off in a cage to everyone at the fucking afterlife Christmas party?" Danny pressed the barrel of his rifle against Grovsner's entire body, pinning him to his hand. Then the shadows bent around the source of Danny's fury and gravity itself bound Grovsner in place, allowing for a much cleaner shot. "For everything you did in life and everything you've done to me and my family, I hope it takes you a long ass time to pull yourself back together from this." And then Danny pulled the trigger, and Skulker was turned into a splattering of toxic exotic matter that evaporated before their eyes.

Tucker, now sitting up on the longboard shaped hoverboard, was staring at Danny right beside Sam, the two of them agape. Danny could see in their green and golden auras something less than pleasant mixed with relief. It was silent for a few beats too long and Danny awkwardly slid his rifle back into his pocket. "Dude, you have fucking fangs, they look so badass!"

"What?" Danny blinked a couple of times when Sam raised her camera and took a picture, frowning at his friends when he could see properly. "Did you say I have fangs?"

Sam showed him the picture and yep. His canines were longer and sharper than they should've been, gleaming in the light cast by the flash and his eyes. "They're tiny and adorable, and yet I'm jealous because if anyone should have fangs it should be me!" Sam threw her hands into the air and groaned. "It matches my aesthetic and I deserve to be a creature of the night! You're not even mildly scary!"

"Alright, true, Danny's not intimidating enough for fangs," Tucker agreed, despite Danny's half-hearted disagreement. "But still, they look good on him. The gravity bending is pretty fucking cool though."

"Thanks, guys. That means a lot." Danny pulled both of his friends into a hug before letting out a loud his off pain because that hurt and he was still bleeding, right. Reaching out to those silver threads that resonated with concern care fondness Love Danny drew that energy into his wound and let out a long sigh as the burning pain cooled down a bit and dulled into a throbbing ache. "More manageable at least. Here, allow me." Placing a hand on Sam's cut shoulder, Danny concentrated on pouring out his own love affection soothing to Sam. He watched as the energy flowed out and into the cut, stitching it mostly together until he could barely see it. "You should probably be careful with that arm anyway. I'm not exactly a doctor yet."

"You wouldn't be that kind of doctor anyway, Danny." Sam gave him a hug again, ruffling his white fluffy curls. "Can we go home now? I'm exhausted, and I'm pretty sure you are too."

"I am, I very much am. Tucker, I'm not bothering to ask for the board back. It runs on solar energy so just head straight home with it, ok? It'll be charged back up in the morning."

Tucker gave a thumbs up and slipped his helmet down properly, covering his face. Standing up with the magnetic boots locked into place on the board, Tucker rose in a wake of neon blue light from beneath the board and took off with a loud cheer. A whole day at Fentonworks was more than enough time to perfect an outfit, as far as Danny was concerned.

The ghost boy wrapped an arm around Sam's middle on his uninjured side and they took to the sky, soaring straight to her house. Danny set Sam down on the balcony of her room and stuck his head in. A whistle escaped him and he gave a thumbs up. "Sam, one day we have got to hang out at your place."

"My folks aren't entirely jazzed with me hanging around you since you 'attract dangerous attention from monsters' so yes, you must come over and hang out with me. And you must do it soon." Sam ruffled his hair again and Danny huffed, pulling his hood over his head. "You can't escape me and you know it!"

"We'll see about that," he laughed, sucking in a breath when he felt the laugh shake his side. "Stop being funny."

"Unlike some people, it comes naturally to me."

"Rude." Danny waved and backed up. "Night Sam!" Danny soared into the night sky and angled himself toward downtown. Once he was as close to Agatha's place as he dared be, Danny set his feet down on the ground and let the world come back into focus, heat rushing into him. Never before had he regretted a decision more than that one, and before he'd even hit the ground Danny was a ghost again. "Owowowowowowow. Pain, very much pain, I will not be doing that again."

Once the echoing waves of pain died down to a throbbing ache once more, Danny pulled himself into the air and slipped out of the way of every atom moving around him, letting it move through him and watching the world bleed into vague green shapes outlined in extreme indigo light. "I doubt Agatha even minds if I go in there and no one ratted her out yet so I'm probably safe."

Poking his head through the wall, Danny looked around until he saw the only in focus sight near him. Agatha floated in the kitchen, pulling the ether around her into her hands and molding it into food to wrap and put away in the fridge. Danny floated over quietly and cleared his throat. She spun around, eyes wide and Danny smiled. "Hi there. Sorry to uh interrupt but I may or may not be in need of giving that healing food thing a try. Maybe it won't work on a human, but any extra energy will help I'm sure."

"Oh of course child!" Agatha spun the indigo light into a sloppy joe and handed it to Danny, who immediately chowed down on it. The best part of not needing to breathe as a ghost was that he had no reason to stop inhaling his food. Agatha watched in anticipation as Danny focused on the layers upon layers of trilling harmonies, the ringing of countless bells that echoed within Danny's center of being, and felt his wound close up like Sam's had. "Oh my."

"Thank you, so much." He beamed up at the ghost and gave a thumbs up. "I should be able to manage with this much myself. Uh, Skulker will be gone for however long it takes for him to rebuild his body. He did a lot of damage and I just. Couldn't let it slide."

"I see," Agatha said, her gloved palms flat against each other. "Well, I won't hold that against you dear, no one deserves to be hunted like an animal the way Skulker hunts his targets. I'll ask that you not make a habit of that though, it gets you a reputation." She wagged a finger and Danny nodded, feeling heavy. "Now, head on home so that you can rest. Food is important, but getting enough sleep is just as important after you do something as strenuous as fighting Skulker."

"I'll be sure to do that." Danny smiled and waved, pulling himself back toward the wall. "Have a nice night Ms. Reece."

"Have a good night Danny."

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imjustthemechanic · 6 years

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Natalie Jones and the Golden Ship

Part 1/? - A Meeting at the Palace Part 2/? - Curry Talk Part 3/? - Princess Sitamun Part 4/? - Not At Rest Part 5/? - Dead Men Tell no Tales Part 6/? - Sitamun Rises Again Part 7/? - The Curse of Madame Desrosiers Part 8/? - Sabotage at Guedelon Part 9/? - A Miracle Part 10/? - Desrosiers’ Elixir Part 11/? - Athens in October Part 12/? - The Man in Black Part 13/? - Mr. Neustadt Part 14/? - The Other Side of the Story Part 15/? - A Favour Part 16/? - A Knock on the Window Part 17/? - Sir Stephen and Buckeye Part 18/? - Books of Alchemy Part 19/? - The Answers Part 20/? - A Gift Left Behind Part 21/? - Santorini Part 22/? - What the Doves Found Part 23/? - A Thief in the Night Part 24/? - Healing Part 25/? - Newton’s Code

Newton’s journals are hard to read, but contain some intriguing clues.

Natasha passed her book to Sir Stephen. “Let me see yours,” she said.

They traded, and his was both different and similar – it seemed to contain what might have been mathematical equations or chemical formulae set aside on their own lines, but written in a combination of letters, numbers, and zodiacal symbols that meant very little.

“Okay,” said Nat. “The good news is, it’s not the Voynich manuscript.” That was a start.

“That’s… something, I guess,” said Sam, not sounding particularly impressed. “Why would he write it in code?”

“Because alchemists were witches and heretics and he didn’t want to be burned at the stake,” said Nat. “Now, the most likely solution is that it’s a simple letter substitution code. In English the easiest way to crack one of those is to assume that the most frequent letter is E and then work from there. It’s possible he just moved the whole alphabet some number of letters, so we’ll start by…”

“It’s not English,” said Jim, looking over Sir Stephen’s shoulder. “It’s Greek.”

Nat looked up sharply, and found that Jim himself looked as surprised by this pronouncement as she was. “How do you know?”

“I… just know,” he said, his mouth full. Nat did wonder if the food did him any good, or if he only ate because his cells were mimicking hunger. If the cells could use food to replenish themselves, wouldn’t they do so instead of quickly dying off?

Jim pointed at something on the page Sir Stephen was looking at. “Look how many of the words end in E-L,” he said. “Like there. You think that means anything?”

Nat took the book back. The place where Jim’s finger had come to rest said tiseltidikwel… if Nat assumed the EL’s were the ends of the words… she turned over a napkin and began to write on it. “Assume it’s Greek. A lot of Greek nouns end in O-S. If you swap O with E and A with I…” She played with the consonants for a moment, and then had a revelation. It was a simple letter substitution cipher, but it was based on phonology! “Exchange nonvoiced stops with nonvoiced,” she said, “voiced with voiced, and glides with glides… and you get kalos k’agathos, beautiful and good!” That was a fairly common phrase in classical Greek, which had often conflated goodness with beauty – as, for that matter, had alchemy.

She smiled at Jim. “How did you know?” she repeated.

He looked uncomfortable now. “I don’t know. It’s like when I knew where he’d been living, or knew about Star Trek. It’s just kind of there, in the background of my brain.”

It seemed that Neustadt had definitely imparted more knowledge to his creations than he thought – and it seemed to be almost unconscious knowledge, imparted unconsciously. Interesting. “All right,” said Nat. “So we write out the cipher, and then we’ll just have to translate it. If somebody else wants to work out the letters, I can read the Greek.”

The notebooks were slim, but since all the work had to be done by hand – deciphering the looping hand, then matching each of the letters with its cipher, and then translating – it was a very slow process. The group finished their breakfast, paid, and then moved on from café to café, ordering water and weak wines, or stopping in souvenir places for notebooks and pens to use. Slowly, they began to work out the first few pages.

The book Sir Stephen had first taken remained utterly indecipherable – the symbols used in the formulae were not in the same cipher as the other two. The one Nat had started with was full of cryptic statements, not unlike the one from the published writings about the balance of libra and the venom of scorpio. The smoke of the burning Tower blots out the Sun, hiding it from the Fool’s sight, said one line. Another read only by gold can gold be made, but purity is essential, said another – compared to the rest, that was downright lucid. Nat assumed it meant that the reactor needed a sample of gold to start with, like the elixir needed a sample of DNA, and that any contamination would affect the final result.

Yet a third noted that The Holy Dove is the principle, in Brother Aleksio’s keeping. Nat frowned, tapping her pen on top of her notebook.

“The Holy Dove,” she said. “That’s the monastery in Montenegro he told us about. I’m gonna guess the item Brother Aleksio was holding onto for him was a sample of the purest gold Newton knew about, to use as a template for the Philosopher’s Stone.” She looked up at Sharon. “Did Fury get back to you about that address in Australia?”

“Yeah,” said Sharon. “It’s a sheep ranch the size of Cornwall and one of the most sparsely-populated places on Earth outside of Antarctica.”

“That would make it a perfect place to build something like the Philosopher’s Stone,” Nat observed. “Someplace where if it goes wrong, not many people are around to get hurt.” Much like Rasputin working in Siberia. Certainly better than Daedalus starting the thing up in the middle of Atlantis. “Where’s that card he gave us? We were supposed to ask for Brother Luka?”

Sharon pulled it out and looked at it. “Yeah, Brother Luka.”

“What are you thinking?” asked Allen, as Nat tilted her head and stared at the bottomless Adriatic sky.

“I’m thinking…” she said, “that we should probably go to Kotor after all. At the very least, we can poke the bear trap and see if it closes. Brother Luka might be able to tell us what Newton wants with the Philosopher’s stone.”

“What would he seek, if not to make gold?” asked Sir Stephen.

“I don’t know,” said Nat. “Which is what worries me.” If you didn’t know what something was, it could be anything. “It would be good to know that all he wants is gold, because that means none of the worse possibilities are true.”

“What kind of possibilities?” Sharon asked warily.

“I don’t know,” Nat repeated. “That’s why they’re worse.”

Fury wasn’t able to get them a flight to Montenegro – there was no airline that flew from Santorini to Tivat. There were ferries, but those went to Athens or Crete. After a couple of hours of research, Sharon found a cargo boat that was willing to let them ride along to Budva, as long as they stayed out of the way of the crew and didn’t complain too much. To get to Fira’s harbor, they took a rather hair-raising ride down the incredibly steep – and sometimes very close to the cliffside – Santorini cable cars to get there.

“Look, they’ve got donkeys,” said Clint, pointing to a winding path below them. A train of the animals were taking people and goods down to the docks.

“That must be how they got stuff up and down before the cable cars,” Sharon observed.

“So why are we risking our necks on this thing when we could be riding donkeys?” asked Clint. The car bumped over one of the cable towers.

“I thought you said horses were bastards,” said Sam.

“I didn’t say that, Robin Hood said that,” Clint told him. “And horses are bastards, but donkeys are nice little beasts. We’ve got one on the farm. He’s a pet. His name is Barney, after my brother.”

“I bet your brother was flattered,” Sharon said with a smile.

Jim was leaning on the window, staring down at the scrubby cliffs. Nat touched his shoulder again. “How do you feel?” she asked. He’d been pretty quiet since the moment he’d given him the key to Newton’s cipher, as if lost in thought.

“Who’s the guy who had the sword dangling over his head?” asked Jim.

“Damocles,” Nat replied. She remembered it less from the myth and more from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

“Like that,” he said.

Over breakfast in the ship’s little mess hall the next morning, Jim contemplated his three flasks. They’d marked the open one with an elastic band so he would know it wasn’t quite full. The other two still had complete doses in them.

“It’s been five days,” he said. “That means I ought to take the first one, right?”

“That’s what she said,” Allen agreed.

“I wonder what would happen if I waited a day,” Jim said. “Would that help me last longer, or would I just start falling apart too fast for it to help me? And what happens with the one we used some of on Dr. Wilson’s bird?” He didn’t sound as if he begrudged this anymore, just resigned to his uncertain future. If they ever saw Desrosiers again, Nat thought, she would have an even harder time getting away.

Jim unscrewed the flask lid and sniffed the contents, as he might a bottle of brandy. There didn’t seem to be any smell to them, so he took a swig and promptly gagged.

“Oh, god, that’s foul!” he wheezed, as Allen whacked him on the back. “It’s like having a warm slug crawling down your throat!”

The unasked question hung in the air. Jim thought about it for a few moments, then took a deep breath and downed the rest of the flask, as fast as he could, without stopping to breathe. There were tears in the corners of his eyes by the time he was done, more from effort than from emotion.

“What’s it taste like?” asked Sam, curious.

“Like mud mixed with tobacco juice.” Jim wiped at his eyes, then grabbed the nearest cup – it happened to be Allen’s coffee – and downed that, too, followed by a bottle of sparkling water Nat handed to him. “I can still taste it,” he whimpered.

“Do you feel any better?” asked Nat.

“I can’t tell yet,” he said.

She didn’t bother to ask him if it were worth it. People went through much worse things in the name of staying alive: dialysis and surgery, amputations and chemotherapy. Compared to such medical procedures, swallowing slimy stuff that tasted bad was probably nothing at all.

“If it is any comfort,” said Sir Stephen, “Buckeye and myself dared each other to eat worse things than slugs.”

Jim eyed him with distaste. “Like what?” he asked, then held up a hand. “No, don’t. Don’t answer. The middle ages were disgusting and I don’t want to hear about it.”

“It was not so very bad,” Sir Stephen protested.

“Yes, it was,” said Nat. “People kept pigs in their dining rooms and threw the contents of their chamber pots into the street. Then there’s black death, smallpox, tuberculosis…”

“If Newton has made many of you,” Sir Stephen said, “then versions of yourself will have seen all these things change over the past several centuries. I envy you that.” He’d been thrown into the modern world with no preparation whatsoever.

“Yeah, I’m fine with not having seen it,” said Jim.

“Buckeye’s father always said that what did not kill a man made him stronger,” Sir Stephen told him.

“I don’t have a father,” Jim replied, giving a very clear signal that he wanted to end the conversation. However interested he might have been in the man earlier, he had clearly decided that he was not Sir James Buckeye, and didn’t want to try to be.

#fanfic #steve rogers #natasha romanov #bucky barnes #clint barton #sharon carter #sam wilson

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itsaudreyhornebitch · 7 years

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Kastle College Professors AU Chapter 5--THE END

(A/N: WHoops, I lied. There will be an epilogue. Also this is 18+)

READ ON AO3 HERE

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Epilogue

“Okay, so explain to me again exactly what happened last night—because I’m still a little bit confused here.” Trish was staring at Karen over the rim of her martini, her eyes narrowed in that determined look she got when she was trying to crack a lead. Like there was no escaping her questioning.

“I’ve told you every detail five times now,” Karen groaned, barely resisting the urge to let her head drop to the table with a thud. Instead, she occupied her hands stirring the straw round and round her vodka cranberry, watching the wedge of lime she’d thrown in swirl about. “We talked, there was tension, I thought he was going to—I don’t know—kiss me or something, and then he had to leave. What’s there to be confused about?”

“If the ‘tension’ was as sexually-charged as you say it was, then I’m confused about how on earth Frank could have just walked away from you like that?” Trish used a toothpick to stab the olive in her drink, waving it about for emphasis. “I mean, come on. He’s only human. And you’re you.” She gestured at Karen with the olive, and a few drops of martini went flying.

“Well, like I said, he—”

“Oh my god,” Karen was interrupted by a loud and impatient groan from Jessica Jones, who was sagging in her chair looking painfully disinterested. “When you invited me to go for a drink, I thought we’d actually have fun. Not sit around all night dissecting the play-by-play of Karen’s almost kiss.” She ran a hand down her tired face. “I feel like I’m at a sleepover and we’re about to pull out a game of Dream Phone. Kill me now.”

“Come on, Jess. How can you not be interested in this? It’s like a real-life romantic drama. All the pining and the tension and the ‘will-they-won’t-they.’” Trish smacked her friend on the arm, which earned her a scowl. “It’s sweet.”

“I’d be more interested if they’d actually boned last night,” Jessica tilted her head to the side, considering. “I’d actually sit through a play-by-play of that.”

“Oh Jesus,” Karen shook her head, then let it fall into her hands. “Why did I think getting Jess involved in this would be a good idea?”

Karen and Jessica had met a few weeks ago, when Jess had swung by Trish’s office to pick her up for drinks. They usually met up at the bar, seeing as Jess hated setting foot on the university campus, with its air of smothering pretention, but Trish had been running late. Karen had been there helping her sort through the intricacies of writing an IRB proposal, and ended up tagging along for their “girl’s night.” Jessica had been a little wary at first, as she didn’t have the best track record with making girlfriends, but Karen had been surprisingly easy to get along with. They had struck up a friendship, which Jess had already used to her advantage, mining some of Karen’s journalism contacts for a case she’d been working on involving a congressman and a callgirl. Sitting across from each other at a shabby table in a low-rent bar, it felt like they’d been friends for ages, rather than weeks.

“Jess, you can’t just say ‘bone’!” Trish looked aghast. “It makes you sound like a thirteen year old boy.” Jess rolled her eyes at that, taking a loud, defiant slurp from her Jack and Coke. “Though, I guess imagining Frank and Karen having sex is pretty hot.” Trish amended, pursing her lips in thought.

“I am regretting this so much,” Karen just knew she was blushing beat red, and scrubbed her hands over her face in an attempt to hide it.

“What?! It’s true,” Trish tossed her hair over her shoulder and rested her cheek on her palm. “He’s so big and muscular and masculine. I mean, that jaw. And those hands, my god. And you—” she used her free hand to gesture at Karen, who had slumped down in her seat in embarrassment. “I mean, you’re basically the universal ideal of beauty. The two of you together would be explosive.”

“Okay, keep it in your pants there, Walker. It looks like you’re about to give Page a heart attack,” Jessica lifted her icy glass and pressed it against Karen’s forehead. She jumped at the freezing contact, and was surprised to realize just how hot she’d become.

“Ugh, I can’t help it!” Trish shook her head, running a finger around the rim of her martini glass. “I haven’t seen any action in months, and I’m forced to live vicariously through your thing with Frank.”

Karen was suddenly glad that the bar they had been sitting in for the last few hours was nearly-deserted, because Trish was reaching that point of inebriation where volume control became a real issue. But the grizzled, old man nursing a G&T by the pool tables didn’t seem to mind, and neither did the girl in the back corner who had been chain smoking and reading what looked like Catcher in the Rye.

“You want to talk about sexual frustration?” Jessica took a long gulp of her drink, downing it completely before slamming the glass onto the table. “Then I’m your girl. Haven’t gotten laid since Luke got together with that nurse he’s been seeing.”

“Jesus, that was like five months ago!” Trish made a face, raising her hand to let the bored-looking barback know that their table was ready for another round. “How have you survived that long?”

Karen cringed inwardly—she hadn’t had sex in over a year. She decided to keep that fact to herself.

“Oh, y’know,” Jess shrugged with a dark little smile. “Making use of the goodies in my nightstand. Eating too much junk food. Drinking.” Her next round of Jack and Coke came just in time, and she took a long sip for emphasis.

“Some real healthy coping mechanisms there, Jones.” Karen shook her head, nudging Jessica’s leg under the table with her own.

“Oreos and whiskey haven’t let me down yet,” Jess lifted her glass in a salute. “So I’m gonna stick with ‘em.”

“Man,” Trish sighed deeply, “I haven’t found a good substitute for sex.” She dipped her finger in the remnants of her martini, dragging it along the edge of the glass until it sang. “You know, the hardest part of being sexually-frustrated is missing the intimacy. Just wanting to be held. Not even the sex, really, but being so close to somebody, y’know?”

“Nope.” Jess shook her head.

“Yeah,” Karen ran a hand through her hair, nodding.

“See, Karen gets me,” Trish threw a wadded-up napkin at Jess, who let it hit her forehead and roll away.

And it was true—Karen did get it. Which was strange, because she’d never been the kind of person who was preoccupied with sex—who fantasized and got swept up in desire. It had been a long time since her last relationship, and she didn’t go in for one night stands, which left her sorely lacking in the “getting laid” department. But the shortage of sex had never really bothered her all that much; she was a busy woman, and had no problem filling her day in ways that took her mind off of her self-imposed celibacy.

At least, she had no problem before she met Frank. Since walking into the office that first day and seeing him behind his desk—glasses perched on his nose, hair blown askew from the windy afternoon, looking downright edible in a dress shirt rolled up to the elbow—her imagination had slowly become a fucking Danielle Steele novel.

She couldn’t help it. Over the past four months, she’d found herself slipping into Frank-themed fantasies more and more often. They had started off innocently enough—little daydreams about Frank as a brawny, daring sailor in his cable-knit sweaters, poised on the bow of a fishing boat, wind in his hair. Or the week he’d been too busy to shave, she’d imagined him as a lumberjack—chopping wood with his torso bare, all that muscular, tanned flesh dotted in sweat. It was ridiculous, really; her little trips of the imagination had her feeling like a teenager again. She hadn’t let herself slip into those kinds of girlish fancies since her days of having a crush on Taylor Hanson. But she figured that, given a little time, her over-active imagination would tire of Frank and move on.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it), those daydreams only increased in frequency. And slowly grew into something a little more…titillating. Images of his long, rough fingers stroking her body; his lips running down the column of her neck; the stubble on that sharp jaw scratching along the insides of her thighs. It was almost embarrassing, how often she caught herself drifting off into a lurid daydream while Frank was bent over his filing cabinet to look for an answer key, or rearranging the books on his shelf for maximum efficiency. Her favorite daydream, by far, involved him sweeping all of his color-coded binders off his desk and making her head go fuzzy. She felt a little guilty for her fantasies, sure, but not terribly so. She was, after all, only human, and Frank was unfairly handsome.

The strangest turn of events, however, had occurred when the nature of her little daydreams started changing again. Into something that left her feeling melty and warm inside. Images of the two of them lying in bed together, his warm arms around her, her head against his chest, listening to the thud of his heartbeat; waking up in the morning to see him drinking coffee on her sofa and grading exams; staying up all night, her head on his lap, arguing about critical theory.

It had snuck up on her—the way her desire for him had grown into something deeper. She found herself wanting him in all the soft, warm, little ways that one person could want another. His breath on her neck; the roughness of his palm against her own; the softness in his eyes. Wanted him around in the quiet moments, in between breaths, when the touch of another can mean the difference between loneliness and home.

And that was big. That was a profound kind of need—deep and abiding. Karen was afraid that she couldn’t will it away by overloading her schedule or keeping herself busy.

So yeah, she understood what Trish meant about how overwhelming the desire for closeness could be. How it could make your bones ache.

“You two are pathetic.” Jess, on the other hand, did not seem to have any great need for emotional intimacy. “Life is so much easier if you can learn to just have sex without all that other stuff involved. Just scratch an itch.”

“’Boning’? ‘Scratch an itch’?” Karen raised a brow at Jess. “You missed your calling as a Hallmark card writer.”

“Or a poet,” Trish piped up.

“She puts John Donne to shame.”

“Oh for sure.”

“Off with that girdle, like heaven’s zone glistering,” Karen began to recite, posing with her arm raised like an actor in a Shakespearean drama. “But a far fairer world encompassing. Unpin that spangled breastplate, which you wear, that th’eyes of busy fools may be stopped there: Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime. Tells me from you that it’s boning time.”

Trish burst into a bout of uncontrollable giggles, while Jess held her hands up, unashamed. “What?! It does sound better that way!” She protested, grinning. “More people would read your weird, old, dead person poems if they talked about boning.”

“Sad thing is, I think you’re right,” Karen lamented, shaking her head.

“Of course I’m right,” Jess pretended to pop the collar of her black leather jacket. “Sex sells.”

“So I’ve been told,” Karen snorted, thinking about the conversation she’d had with Foggy at the faculty mixer all those months ago. That thought, of course, led her to remembering how unbelievably attractive Frank had looked that evening in his faded grey sweater (the one that was just the right size to hug the sturdy curve of his shoulders). And just like that, Karen was thinking about Frank again.

Trish noticed the expression on Karen’s face change, as subtly as it did, into something that looked an awful lot like longing.

“Pining for Frank again?” Trish placed a sympathetic hand on Karen’s wrist.

“Yeah,” Karen sighed. “I feel like my brain is a broken fucking record. I just keep replaying last night and wishing it had turned out differently, y’know? That I’d had the courage to tell him how I felt, or that he’d made a move. Something to let me know he’s interested.”

“Come on,” Jess rolled her eyes at Karen. “I’ve only been half-listening to this whole conversation, and even I can tell that he’s interested in you. Don’t play stupid.”

“I’m not,” Karen crossed her arms defensively. “I’m just feeling a little insecure about this whole thing. I haven’t felt like this about someone in a long time, and it’s got me off my game.”

“I get that,” Trish nodded. “But you got take your mind off of it or you’ll drive yourself crazy. It’ll all work out.”

“Yeah, and even if it doesn’t, there’s always alcohol.” Jess raised her glass.

Strangely enough, that actually made Karen feel better. Not that there’d always be alcohol to lean on, but that she’d always have friends like Jess and Trish to turn to when things got rough.

By the time Monday rolled around, Karen had done a lot of thinking about the Frank situation. Too much thinking, probably, as she had a tendency to dwell far too long on things she couldn’t do much about. In fact, she’d lost a great deal of sleep over the weekend, tossing and turning—sometimes lying awake and replaying that evening in the office with Frank, and other times twisting in the sheets with dreams of his hands and his lips and his voice. She’d woken up Monday morning exhausted, but all of the thinking had helped her to gain some clarity.

She’d decided that she wasn’t crazy—there had definitely been a fair amount of sexual tension in that room Friday night, and not just from her end, either. She had seen the shudder of attraction in Frank’s eyes—the way they lingered on her a touch passed what was decent—the magnetic pull of his gaze along her flesh. So at least she knew that Frank was attracted to her, on some level. There was, of course, the looming possibility that the attraction was only physical—she didn’t know, she’d have to figure that out eventually.

She had also decided, over the course of her weekend of agonizing, that she couldn’t hold it against him that he hadn’t acted on said tension. His best friend had needed him, after all. Frank wouldn’t be the man she was stupidly in love with if he hadn’t immediately dropped everything to help a friend in need.

And while she hadn’t managed to make good on her promise to tell him that she was in love with him (what else was new?), she did have more confidence that he had feelings for her, too. Whatever the nature of those feelings might be.

As she walked into the office, actually on time for once, Karen had to remind herself to breathe steadily. She had started to grow nervous, on her walk to work, about seeing Frank. Not because she was afraid it would be uncomfortable around him, but because she was a little bit apprehensive about how well he could read her. She was half-convinced, on some level, that he might take one look at her and know that she’d spent the last two nights tangled up in her sheets, sweaty and alone, dreaming about all the wonderful ways their Friday night could have ended.

Frank, on his end, had also spent the past few days consumed with thoughts of their almost-encounter. Thoughts that mostly went something like, “why the fuck am I friends with David?” and “what would I have even said if he hadn’t interrupted?” After the initial—and bitter—disappointment that his moment had been so unceremoniously ruined by Lieberman, Frank started to realize that it actually might have been a good thing. Because he really didn’t know what he had planned on saying to Karen. And he didn’t want to fuck it up. Not with her.

It may have taken Frank a while to realize that he was in love, but once the realization had hit, it hit hard. Frank was not a man who did things by half-measures; he was an all-or-nothing kind of guy. And falling in love with Karen felt like it; felt like the last great thing he would ever do.

He’d started to think, after Maria, that he’d never get to experience that feeling again. The way that love takes everything you think you are, all that you think defines you—your triumphs and your fears and your pain and your happiness—and shows you that you are more than those things. You are part of something bigger than yourself; something huge and consuming and inexorable. That you were not meant to carry the burden of your own humanness—with all its beauty and suffering—alone. But rather, you are a shape perfect for holding.

He’d thought that feeling was out of reach.

But then Karen had come along, and god, if she didn’t cut him to the core with all that nervous energy and those thoughtful eyes. Reminded him what it was like to lose yourself in dreams of someone else.

He’d been so preoccupied with thoughts of Karen over the weekend that even Maria had noticed, pulling him aside on Sunday evening to ask him what was going on. All he’d had to do was mention Karen’s name, and Maria got that knowing gleam in her eye. The one that used to drive him crazy.

“Ah, so you realized you’re in love with her, huh?”

Frank had groaned—had everyone known but him?

“Bring her around next weekend, okay? I want to meet her.” Maria had patted a comforting hand on his arm before being called away by Lisa, who was trying on a new baseball uniform.

With Maria onboard, it was serious. So he was determined not to fuck things up with a half-baked, impromptu confession. He was going to do things properly. But how, exactly, he was going to go about it was the question of the moment.

And that’s exactly what he had been thinking about when Karen Page walked through the door on Monday morning (Frank had to double check his watch, because she was actually on time). He noticed immediately the buzz of anxious energy that seemed the follow her into the room. She was muttering something to herself under her breath, too quietly for Frank to hear.

“You, uh—” Frank swiveled around in his chair to track Karen’s movement across the office, “you talking to yourself there, Page?”

“Jesus Christ!” Karen jumped in surprise, clutching her chest. “Scared me to death. I didn’t see you behind your monitor.” She could barely hear her own voice over the wild thudding of her heart.

“You okay?” Frank’s brow furrowed as he took in Karen’s appearance. Though she was as impeccably-dressed as always, wearing a navy sweater dress that did marvelous things to her figure, there were deep purple bruises under her eyes. Like she hadn’t slept in a few nights. And there was that nervous little tilt to her mouth, like she was trying to stop herself from chewing her bottom lip, and only barely succeeding.

“Yeah,” Karen sighed, dropping her briefcase on the floor and falling onto the loveseat with a groan. “Just had a rough weekend. Couldn’t turn my brain off for even a few seconds, y’know?”

Frank hummed and understanding little noise. He definitely knew.

“I woke up feeling like I hadn’t even slept. Like my head’s full of little buzzing creatures.” She propped her feet up on the coffee table and Frank had to suppress the belly laugh that threatened to burst out.

“Is that why, uh—” Frank gesture toward Karen’s feet, “Why you’re wearing two different shoes there?”

“I—” Karen looked down at her feet in shock, her brows knitting together in confusion, as though seeing them for the first time. “God damnit!” She owned two pairs of suede ankle boots, absolutely identical, save for the fact that one pair was brown while the other was black. In her rush to leave that morning—her mind preoccupied with other, Frank-shaped thoughts—she’d grabbed one of both.

“I think it’s quite the look,” Frank smirked as Karen slumped further down on the loveseat, throwing an arm over her face. “You might even start a fad, Page.”

“Jesus Christ,” she groaned. “Can we pretend, just for a few seconds, that I’m a functioning human being?”

“It’ll be hard, but we can try.” Frank bit his thumb to keep the stupid grin from overtaking his face. “Want some coffee?” He’d poured a cup for himself on the way in, stopping by the faculty break room to get his morning fix. But Karen looked like she could use it more than he did at the moment.

“Yes, please.” Her voice was muffled by the arm she was still hiding under.

Frank grabbed his untouched mug of coffee and walked it over to the loveseat. He kneeled down next to Karen, who refused to uncover her face, and instead reached out blindly for the mug with her free arm, almost smacking Frank upside the head in the process.

“Okay,” he dodged another attempt for the coffee, chuckling. “I think you’re going to have to come out of hiding if you want your caffeine fix, sweetheart.”

“But I’m obviously not capable of existing in the real world today.” Despite her protestation, Karen let her arm drop with a sigh, reaching for the mug with both hands. Her fingers lingered a little longer than strictly necessary on Frank’s own, and she had to suppress a shiver at the touch. God dammit, but the smallest touch from him got a reaction out of her.

Frank watched her take her first sip, noting the initial grimace (Frank took his coffee black, while Karen was a sugar fiend), which eventually faded into a hum of satisfaction. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they had lost their bitingly-nervous edge.

“World looks better after some coffee, huh?” Frank asked, smiling softly. Karen may have been having a rough morning, but his was going great—it always did, the second she walked into the room.

“Mmhmm,” Karen nodded, watching Frank over the rim of the mug. They were awfully close, what with him squatting down next to her lap, his hand steadying himself on the couch cushion mere inches away from her thigh. It reminded her of their position last Friday night, which set off a series of minor explosions in her chest. “Even if it tastes like motor oil the way you make it.” Karen joked, trying to cover up the prickle of awareness that was beginning the crawl its way up her spine.

“You’ve tasted motor oil before?” Frank shifted his hand on the couch, and the tip of his thumb lightly brushed her thigh, right where the hem of her dress ended. Karen had to exert an inhuman amount of self-control to keep from squirming.

“Haven’t you?” She teased, keeping her voice casual.

“You know, that explains so much about you, Page.” Frank couldn’t hide the blatant affection on his face, and Karen felt her pulse spike.

She was contemplating sliding one of her hands from her mug to rest over his own, when a loud beeping emanated from Frank’s computer.

He frowned, looking over his shoulder. It was the alert he’d set to go off every time he received an email marked “Urgent” from the university admin. In the 7 years he’d been working as a professor, it had only gone off twice: once when the president of the college passed away unexpectedly, and once when an armed robber fleeing from the cops decided to hide out in the library.

“That’s weird,” he muttered under his breath, pushing himself up to check his email. Karen’s eyes followed lazily as he rounded his desk to lean over the monitor. The blue light of the screen lit his face, and she watched with growing interest while his expression morphed from confusion to shock to something that looked an awful lot like glee.

“Holy shit, Kare,” his voice was excited. “You gotta read this.” He gestured toward her in a ‘come here’ motion, never taking his eyes off the screen. She placed her mug on the coffee table and made her way over, planting a hand on his desk to lean over his shoulder.

It was silent for a moment, as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. Then:

“Oh fuck.” It was a curse, but it was spoken with a kind of joy that Karen should have probably felt guilty about.

“The Great Dr. Danny Rand, revealed as a fraud. Jesus,” Frank shook his head, and Karen had to bring a hand up to her mouth to keep the giddy laughter from spilling out.

It has recently come to the administration’s attention that Dr. Daniel Rand, of the School of Media Journalism, has been accused of falsifying data.

Four years ago, Danny had gained some measure of fame for a study he’d published about the dissemination of underground, revolutionary materials in North Korea, and their effect on stirring up resistance among rural citizens. The crux of his research had rested on a riveting account of espionage and revolution, as told by a former citizen of the DPRK, who purported to be directly involved in the Kim administration.

A former citizen who was now coming forward as a fraud, the email read. He was, apparently, not even Korean, but rather a Chinese student Danny had met during a research trip to Hong Kong. He had completely fabricated the story, with Danny’s help, in exchange for assistance in attaining a green card to the U.S.

In light of this new information, Dr. Daniel Rand has chosen to tender his resignation, and will no longer be affiliated with the work being conducted at this university.

“Is it wrong for me to celebrate right now?” Karen spoke around her fingers, which were still pressed to her mouth.

“I think the occasion calls for it.” Frank smiled over his shoulder at Karen, who was looking shell-shocked in the best way.

“I just feel so vindicated,” she pumped her fist in the air for emphasis. “Maybe the universe is just, after all.”

“And now you can get your research project back.” Frank straightened so that he was no longer leaning over the desk, and turned to face Karen, who was bouncing up and down on the toes of her feet.

“Oh my God,” she ran a hand through her hair. “I hadn’t even thought about that. I was just imagining the media firestorm he’s gonna come under when this thing blows up.”

“They’re going to crucify him. Especially because it’s a little racist to try to pass off a Chinese man as Korean.”

“Ooh, I didn’t think about that either,” Karen rubbed her hands together in delight. “This is going to be amazing.”

Suddenly, Karen’s phone began dinging manically, several texts coming in all at once. She jogged over to her briefcase to see what was going on.

“Oh my god,” she laughed. “Foggy and Trish and some of my other grad students are all texting me congratulations.” She thumbed through her messages as they kept filtering in. “It feels like Christmas morning.”

“I didn’t know Santa did revenge. Never got it in my stocking.” Frank shoved his hands in his pockets, watching Karen grin at her phone. She really did look like a child on Christmas.

“Probably because you were never a good little boy,” Karen quickly typed back a response to Foggy.

“I was good enough.”

“Good enough doesn’t get your enemies destroyed.”

“Clearly.”

Karen snorted, firing off several texts in a row.

“Oh,” she looked up from her phone as she received another text. “Foggy just suggested we go to Josie’s tonight to celebrate. Wanna come?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Even if it is technically in poor taste to drink to the destroyed career of a colleague?” Karen gave a lopsided tilt of the lips.

“I’ve done worse,” Frank lifted a shoulder in a half shrug.

“Which is exactly why Santa never gave you revenge for Christmas,” Karen pointed a finger. “It’s all coming together, Castle.”

Frank was about to speak when the alarm on Karen’s phone went off, alerting her to leave for class.

“Oh, shit,” she glanced down at her phone. “I gotta go. But we’re meeting at Josie’s at 8, okay?” She grabbed her briefcase and threw it over her shoulder. As she made to rush out the door, she impulsively reached out to kiss Frank on the cheek. She couldn’t say exactly why, but it felt right. “I’ll text you later,” she squeezed his arm gently before breezing out of the office, leaving him standing there staring after her like a lovesick fool.

For 8 o’clock on a Monday night, Josie’s was uncommonly packed. Aside from the usual suspects who showed up to start drinking at 4pm on the dot, the bar was playing host to what looked like a roller derby team still decked out in their uniforms, a group of frat guys wearing Chinos and comfort colors, and an assortment of strange characters who seemed to be intent on drinking alone. Karen, Frank, and Trish (who was meeting Foggy for the first time), had barely been able to snag a pool table while Foggy bought the first round of celebratory drinks. They’d toasted to the untimely, but not unappreciated, demise of Danny Rand, before Trish suggested a game of pool (which Foggy jumped to take her up on). Frank and Karen had exchanged a look at that—he’d seemed just a little too eager.

It had only taken ten minutes for Trish’s competitive side to rear its head, which had caught everyone but Karen by surprise. Trish was a woman who did not like to lose. Unfortunately for her, Foggy wasn’t too keen on being defeated himself, and their game had quickly devolved into chaos—but enjoyable chaos.

“Oh my God,” Foggy leaned down to speak into Karen’s ear, chalking up the pool stick in his hands. “How have you not introduced me to Trish before tonight?” He watched in avid fascination as the woman in question bent over the pool table to line up her shot, giving him a perfect view of her assets.

“Uh, because the opportunity just didn’t pop up?” Karen shrugged, taking a sip of her beer. She was currently leaned-up against a tall pub table pressed into the back corner of the bar, where she had been watching Trish and Foggy go at it like professional players, trick shots and all. “You’re not going to be weird about this, are you?” She narrowed her eyes at Foggy in suspicion. The poor guy had a tendency to get really awkward around her attractive, female friends. The stuttery, bad-joke, no hand-eye coordination kind of awkward. It was really quite tragic.

“What, me?” Foggy pressed an offended hand to his chest. “Never been awkward a day in my life.”

“Uh-huh,” Karen darted her eyes down at Foggy’s pants. “Your fly’s undone.”

“Oh shit.” He looked down in surprise, turning around the subtly zip up. “Do you think Trish saw that?”

“Saw what?” Trish suddenly appeared at Karen’s side.

“Uh, how great that last shot you made was,” Foggy attempted to cover up, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Um, of course I saw the shot, Foggy.” Trish darted her eyes to Karen, brow furrowed in confusion. “I was the one that made it.”

“Oh yeah. Of course.” Foggy fidgeted with his pool stick. “I just wanted to make sure you knew that it was a really good shot. So,” he jerkily reached out to pat Trish on the arm, “good job.”

“Thanks?”

“Yeah, just, uh…” Foggy began backing away from the two women, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’m gonna go back to the pool table. Plan my next move.”

Trish waited a beat before tilting her head at Karen with a frown.

“Is he okay?” She darted her eyes in Foggy’s direction.

“Right now, or in general?” Karen chuckled, shaking her head.

“You have some weird friends,” Trish sighed, before turning to follow Foggy and finish off their game.

Karen was only alone for a moment before Frank appeared at her elbow, carrying another round of beers for the group.

“I’m telling you, that bar tender always takes way longer getting the drinks for me than he does with you.” He placed the bottles on the table with a clang, wiping his hands on the back of his jeans.

“Well that’s because I actually smile at him. Didn’t anyone ever tell you grimacing gets you nowhere,” Karen gestured at Frank’s face, which was indeed set in a scowl. “Flies and honey and all that?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s less about the smiling and more about you being a good-looking woman,” Frank grumbled, grabbing one of the beers and taking a swig. Karen blushed at the compliment, and felt the warm buzz of it all the way down to her toes.

“I’m pretty sure Craig’s gay, Frank. You’d be more his taste,” she leaned forward, slipping her chin into the palm of her hand.

“Clearly not, or else it wouldn’t have taken 15 minutes to get four beers.” Frank also leaned forward, his elbows on the table.

“Hmm, maybe Craig doesn’t go for your whole ‘rugged, muscular intellectual with a penchant for sweaters’ look,” Karen pursed her lips in thought.

“Is that what I am?” Frank raised a brow. “A ‘rugged, muscular intellectual’?”

Karen felt a blush working its way across her face.

“You forgot the sweaters. It’s all about the sweaters.”

“Of course,” Frank nodded sagely, looking down at the grey cable knit he was wearing (Karen’s favorite, though he had no way of knowing that). There was a loud groan from the direction of the pool table, and he glanced over his shoulder at Trish and Foggy, who were arguing over how far she was allowed to lean over to make a shot before it became a foul. “So Foggy hasn’t run her off yet?”

“Nope, but he’s working on it,” Karen scrunched her nose. “At this rate, she’s going to be heading for the hills in no time at all. Poor guy—he just can’t function around a pretty woman.”

“It’s a miracle he’s been able to keep cool around you for so long.”

Karen bit her lip. It was the second time in the span of two minutes that Frank had called her beautiful—her heart stuttered in her chest.

“You should have seen him the first time he met me. Spilled sangria down my dress at a faculty mixer,” Karen smiled at the memory. “Then, when he tried to get some club soda to help wash it out, he spilled that down himself. I think the only reason he didn’t spontaneously combust in embarrassment was because Matt was there. He has a way of keeping Foggy from going too crazy.”

“Hmm,” Frank scratched the back of his neck, unsure of how to broach the next topic. “Speaking of Matt—haven’t heard you mention him in a while. Things still rough between you two?”

Karen had never gotten around the telling Frank about the nature of her confrontation with Matt in the coffee shop—she had been so upset about the whole thing, she hadn’t really thought to mention what the fight was about in the first place. All he’d managed to gather from her was “Matt is an asshole who thinks he has some kind of say in my life, but he doesn’t” and “God, he’s just a self-righteous prick.” And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little curious about what had happened between the two of them.

“Uh, yeah.” Karen’s expression took on a strained quality. “Still rough.” She looked down, picking up a napkin and twisting it between her fingers. “I’ve mostly just been avoiding him. Might be time for me to write the whole thing off as over, y’know?” She dropped the napkin and moved on to fidgeting with her beer bottle, peeling the label off with her thumbnail. “I figure if he really cared about our friendship, he’d have found some way to apologize by now. And I think I’m getting to a place where I can finally say ‘no’ to half-assed friends. Just cut ‘em off.”

Frank nodded, aiming for a sympathetic look, which he didn’t quite pull off. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t happy with that particular turn of events—though they’d only met once, Matt had given him a bad feeling.

“You never said what happened between the two of you.” Frank’s eyes were glued to Karen’s restless fingers. “Don’t know if it’s something you want to talk about or not.”

Karen stopped her fidgeting, looking at Frank intently—thoughtfully. She wasn’t sure if she should tell him that their fight had mostly revolved around him; she didn’t want him feeling guilty for causing the rift between her and Matt. But on the other hand, there was really no point in keeping it a secret—what was done was done. And, in the end, the falling out had really been more about Matt’s patronizing self-righteousness than about Frank.

“He just—,” Karen stopped, trying to think of how to phrase what she wanted to say. “He has this way of trying to get involved in my life and kind of tell me what to do that’s absolutely infuriating. He’s always making suggestions and giving me advice about things he has no right to talk about. Overstepping his bounds.”

“Ah,” Frank nodded. “It’s a fool’s mistake, trying to tell you what to do.”

“Damn right.” Karen lifted her beer in a mock toast.

“So, uh, what was it that he said that set you off?”

“Actually,” Karen’s lips quirked slightly, “we were arguing about you.”

“Me?” Frank jolted in surprise, frowning.

“Yeah,” Karen leaned forward, folding her arms on the table. “He was trying to tell me all this bullshit—that you weren’t someone I should be associated with. That you would ruin my reputation. Just a load of garbage. I got upset—asked him what gave him the right to tell me who I should and shouldn’t be associating with. Went downhill from there.”

“So you—” Frank paused, brow furrowed. “You stopped being friends with him because of me?” That idea didn’t sit well with him.

“No, no.” Karen reached out to place a hand on his arm, rubbing her thumb against the outside of his wrist. “The conversation about you was just a symptom of the larger problem, right? I stopped being friends with him because he doesn’t treat me well. He acts like I’m some little girl he needs to protect and look out for—it’s patronizing.” Karen squeezed Frank’s arm, forcing him to look at her. “I’m trying to get better at cutting toxic people out of my life. People who make me feel small. Matt was one of those people.”

Frank nodded, staring at Karen with a contemplative look, as though he were weighing up some odds in his head, to which she wasn’t privy.

“You know,” he looked away, staring at his hands on the table. “Matt was probably right. About you and me.”

It was Karen’s turn to react in surprise. “What?”

“He was right,” Frank looked up again, something dark and heated in his eyes. “You’re too good for me.” Karen opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “Come one, Kare. You’re brilliant and funny and you have this way of setting people at ease. You got a good heart. An open heart. And that’s really rare. You don’t meet people like that every day, and that’s just the goddamn truth. I’m not really sure anyone is good enough for you.”

“I don’t—” Karen started to speak, something like anger crumpling her face.

“No, hey—” Frank reached out and laid a warm hand on Karen’s arm. “Hey. All I’m saying is that I know who I am. And I know what my reputation is, okay? I’m not an idiot. You’re not gonna get invited to rub any elbows by associating with me.”

Karen opened her mouth, still trying to get a word in.

“I’m not done, Kare.” Frank grinned, amused at her adamant attempts to argue the point. “Jesus, did your momma never teach you not to interrupt?” Karen sputtered, before closing her mouth. “Here’s the thing, Page—the thing Matt doesn’t know, right? Is that there’s nothing he, or anybody else, can do or say to make me disappear.”

Karen felt her rigid shoulders go lax. Frank’s hand, still on her arm, felt hot.

“At this point, uh—,” he shifted uneasily, “I’m not sure I could leave you alone if I tried. I think you’re stuck with me.”

Karen’s chest suddenly felt over-full, flooded with an emotion she couldn’t quite name. Something with the distinct flavor of relief, mixed with joy, and a whole tidal wave of affection. Frank was looking at her in this electric kind of way—fierce and burning. His eyes were tight in anticipation, waiting for Karen to respond.

“I—”

“Oh, more beer!” Foggy’s sweaty body collided suddenly into the table, jostling the drinks. Frank stuck out a hand to steady the wobbling bottles. “I need to refuel after that game. Another victory for Clan Nelson.” He grabbed a beer and took a long gulp, seemingly unaware of the thick cord of expectation that hung in the air between Karen and Frank.

“I’m not convinced that last shot was legal,” Trish grumbled, appearing at Foggy’s side, her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. She squeezed in next to him, also missing the way that Frank and Karen had been staring at each other, unblinking.

“Is that bitterness I hear in your voice, Walker?” Foggy slammed his bottle on the table, which jolted Karen from her state. Jumping, she turned to look at Foggy, who was pointing at Trish with narrowed eyes. “Let’s go another round and see who’s cheating, huh?”

“Maybe Frank and Karen want a turn, Nelson.” Trish grabbed her own beer, sparing a glance at Karen for the first time since joining the table. She immediately noticed the look on her friend’s face—overwhelmed and a little bit dazed. Darting her eyes in Frank’s direction, she saw him wearing a similar look. Clearly they’d walked into the middle of something. “Or not…”

“Uh,” Karen cleared her throat, beginning to feel a little suffocated by the atmosphere inside the bar, like the she couldn’t breathe. Air—she needed air. “Actually, I think I’m gonna step outside for a bit, I—”

She didn’t finish her sentence, grabbing her coat and heading for the back door of the bar. Trish and Foggy both stared after her in confusion.

“I’m gonna go make sure she’s good,” Frank grumbled, grabbing his own coat and following closely behind.

Trish and Foggy exchanged a glance as their two friends disappeared out into the night.

“What was that?” Foggy looked genuinely puzled, bless his heart.

“That, my new friend, is inevitability.” Trish grinned.

The cool night air whipped around Karen’s face as she burst out the back door of Josie’s. It helped to clear some of the heavy fog that had settled in her mind. Her heart was in her throat—thundering.

“Karen, what—” Frank didn’t have time to get the rest of the question out. He didn’t even have time to close the door behind him. Before he realized what was happening, Karen had launched herself at him, arms around his neck. And then she was kissing him.

The kiss was tentative—nervous. Frank stood frozen in surprise, not moving, not reacting. His brain hadn’t quite caught up to what was happening to his body. Karen felt her heart sink, and began to pull away.

“I’m sorry, I—” She started to apologize. Clearly she’d misread the situation. Clearly he didn’t want this. What a royal fuck-up. But she didn’t get the chance to finish her thought.

It was Frank’s turn to take Karen by surprise, reaching out to slip a hand behind her head and yank her forward, silencing the rest of her apology as his mouth found her own.

And this kiss—this kiss was different. It wasn’t gentle, but with Frank Castle, Karen didn’t expect it to be. There was no breathless anticipation and uncertain brushes of the lips with him. No hesitant little tastes. Rather, he kissed like he was trying to consume her—with a single-minded dedication that made her feel weak. Brutal and hard—teeth nipping and lips devouring. Karen felt that animal part of herself clawing to the surface, as she buried her hands in his hair and tugged him roughly closer—for more.

Frank made a deep, low noise, and snaked an arm around her waist, holding her tight. His other hand tangled in her hair—all that golden, silky hair. He flexed the arm at her waist, and Karen jerked against him in response. Frank let out a moan at the sensation, and Karen shivered as she became acutely every point their bodies touched from chest to thigh.

Her breasts were crushed deliciously against the front of his coat, and the hard feel of him against her had her head going fuzzy. But it was a pleasant kind of static that cleared her mind of everything but Frank, leaving her free to focus on the slide of his tongue against her own, wet and hot, and the grasping of his fingers above the curve of her ass. A keening noise left her throat, and his hips bucked forward—brushing that spot that sent a sharp shoot of arousal up her spine.

“Karen. Jesus,” Frank whispered against her lips quietly, before pulling back to look at her in the streetlight. Her eyes were shining and feverish under heavy lids, and her lips parted and glistening from his kiss. She looked like a woman coming undone. Frank opened his mouth to speak again—he wanted to make her understand this was important to him; that kissing her felt like tasting his future; that this was everything—but he didn’t know how. So instead, he settled for making a frustrated, impatient noise before lowering his head again, trying to put everything he couldn’t say behind his kiss.

Slowly, his tongue swiped against her full bottom lip, leisurely setting the pace. He felt her responsive sigh as she sunk into him again. He wanted to memorize that feeling—of having her melt. She scratched at his scalp, and he responded by nibbling at her lip, teeth sharp and demanding. She gasped gently, and suddenly his tongue was brushing against hers again with exquisite slowness. More gentle this time—exploring.

A soft sound escaped Karen’s throat as her hands fell from his hair, grappling at his back to grab full swathes of his coat in an attempt to get even closer. Frank hadn’t even realized she’d been walking him backwards until his back collided with the wall of Josie’s and he let out a surprised laugh, breaking the kiss.

“Careful, Karen,” Frank’s face was split into a grin, and he pulled her forward to nestle between his parted legs, head thrown back against the wall. “Don’t break me.”

“Don’t think I could if I tried,” Karen was smiling too. It was a different smile than he’d seen her wear before. It was a smile that had an entire universe of private longing inside of it.

“God,” Frank shook his head. “Wanted to kiss you for so long. Too long.” He dipped his head again, this time landing on her neck, opening his mouth to suck at her flesh.

“Fuck,” Karen bit out, tilting her head to give him more access and breathing out hot into the cool night air.

“Say that again,” Frank whispered, before biting at the junction between her neck and her shoulder.

“Ah,” she let out a half-yelp, half-groan at the feeling of his teeth digging into her flesh, “Fuck, Frank.” Her voice sounded breathy in her own ears.

His hands were trailing up and down her sides, brushing the outsides of her breasts before returning to settle on her hips, then making the trail again. The sensation was divine, and she felt her hips roll forward into his own, causing him to grunt out a deep sound.

This was insane, a small part of her brain was thinking. Insane. Just moments ago they had been watching Foggy and Trish play pool, and now she had Frank pressed against the back wall of Josie’s, moaning in her ear and writhing against her.

“Frank,” she said his name again, like a plea, bringing her hands up to tangle in his short hair. “Frank, hold on, I—”

Frank immediately pulled back, the lust in his eyes instantly replaced with concern. Had he done something wrong? Had he misread the signs? No—that couldn’t be it. Karen wouldn’t have been kissing him so goddamn thoroughly if she didn’t want this too.

“No, no, come back,” Karen put her hands behind Frank’s neck, pulling him forward to rest his forehead against her own. “I just—” Karen broke off.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him. She really wanted to tell him that she loved him. But it didn’t feel like the right time—pressed against the back wall of Josie’s, surrounded by cigarette butts and crushed beer cans. So instead, she said what she could.

“I can’t be casual with you, Frank. I can’t do this if this is all it is. I’m not—I’m not walking away from this.” It wasn’t the most eloquent thing to say, but she hoped he understood. He needed to understand.

Frank shook his head, his nose bumping against Karen’s as he did.

“Karen.” He said her name with a mixture of affection and exasperation. “How can you not know?”

“Know what?”

“Nothing with you has ever been casual for me.” This time, when Frank pulled away, Karen let him. She wanted to see his eyes. “You have me.” His stare was single-minded and fervent. “You have me.”

All of the air seemed to leave Karen’s lungs in a single whoosh. The world, she was sure, began to tilt on its axis. Or, at least, her world did.

It wasn’t an “I love you,” but it somehow felt greater than that. More tangible, like something she could hold if she were to just reach out. It was all there—everything—in the gentle way his eyes anchored to her own; in the barely-perceptible trembling of his hands; in the corner of his lips, which couldn’t seem to decide if they wanted to smile or not. He was watching her like there was nothing else in the world more worthy of his attention. Like she was a new color he was seeing for the first time.

“Frank.” His name seemed to float, suspended, in the cold air between them. It was a caress; a benediction; a poem. He’d never heard his name spoken with so much need behind it.

And he was kissing her again. Lightly, gently. Just to feel her.

“I—,” She pulled away, taking a shuddering breath. “I want you to take me home, Frank.”

“Yes ma’am.”

They didn’t even bother with excuses for Trish and Foggy. Didn’t have the patience for it. Instead, they ran back inside to grab Karen’s purse, threw a half-hearted “see you later” over their shoulders, and were gone. There was no time for waiting—no time for stalling. They’d let this thing burn between them for too long to get caught up in pleasantries.

The car ride to Karen’s apartment was blissfully short. Frank drove fast—too fast, really—his hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles went white. (Later, he would look back on that moment and thank god that he hadn’t been pulled over for how egregiously he was speeding). Karen, for her part, could not sit still in her seat. The anticipation had her squirming like a child, until Frank had to shoot her a dark glance, telling her to sit still. He was distracted enough without her writhing about in the passenger seat.

Karen had never taken the steps up to her place so quickly—two at a time. In fact, the entire trip from the car to the apartment was a blur. It wasn’t until the door had closed behind them that time seemed to slow to its normal speed.

Karen had half-expected Frank to pin her to the door as soon as it shut, picking up where they’d left off in the alley way. She’d expected frenzy and passion and desperation.

But there was no frenzy. There was no reckless claiming.

Instead, Frank stepped slowly into Karen’s apartment, looking around at all the familiar little pieces of her scattered about. And then he just stood—in the middle of Karen’s living room—heart pounding.

Standing there, among all of Karen’s possessions—her eclectic collection of books and ceramic knick-knacks—it hit Frank all at once. The enormity of the moment. Of what they were going to do.

Suddenly, against all common sense and rationality, he felt a little shy. No, he thought, not shy. It was something else—the feeling you get when you’re standing on the edge of a balcony, high in the air, thinking about how easy it would be to just lean forward and fall.

This was important. This was Karen.

Frank ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm the roaring feeling in his chest.

Karen, who was still standing by the door, barely past the threshold, was watching him in confusion. Waiting for him to do something. It seemed a strange shift in tone, she thought, compared to the heat and want of the alleyway. But clearly Frank needed some time—he was looking a little bit lost. And she was going to give him all the time he needed.

“I’ve never been in your bedroom.” His voice, though quiet, felt huge in her cozy little space.

“It’s the door to your left.” Karen pointed, and Frank turned to look. It was open just a crack, and he could see that she’d left a lamp on inside, as it illuminated a patch of carpet with a yellow glow.

He walked forward unhurriedly, almost cautiously, and pushed the door open fully, stepping inside. Karen waited a beat before following him.

Karen’s room, Frank thought, was perfect; just like he’d imagined. A large bed covered in a pale blue comforter; an entire wall of books (the fantasy branch of her personal collection); a vintage, velvet chair pushed in the corner, next to the window, which he assumed was her reading nook; a thousand assorted tchotchkes she’d picked up from her travels abroad.

Frank walked forward, running his fingers along the spines of her book collection, before turning and picking up the abacus on her night stand.

He was fidgeting, Karen thought with a grin. Like he was nervous—like he didn’t quite know what to do with himself.

It was strange, seeing him this way. She was used to a confident, smug, overbearing Frank. That she could deal with.

But an uncertain Frank was something else altogether.

She bit her lip, leaning against the door frame as he made his way over to her little desk, plucking at the abandoned knitting she’d left next to her laptop. He absent-mindedly shrugged off his jacket, tossing it over her desk chair.

Karen wanted to give him time—sure—but she was growing a little impatient. She wanted his hands on her, and sooner rather than later. So she’d just have to help him along.

While his back was still turned to hers, fiddling with the Rubix cube on her desk, Karen brought her hands up to the zipper of her dress. Eyes glued to Frank’s broad back, she slowly dragged it down until the dress fell off her frame and silently onto the floor.

Underneath, she wore nothing but a diaphanous slip—a translucent scrap of thin cotton; she was practically naked. With a shiver, she fought the urge to cover herself. She felt so exposed. But, she supposed, that was the whole point—that was what she wanted—to be utterly exposed before Frank.

Taking a deep, calming breath, she forced her hands down to her sides, balling them in fists to keep from fidgeting nervously, then spoke.

“Frank?”

“Hmmm?” He responded, still facing away from her.

“Frank,” this time it wasn’t a question—it was a demand. Karen saw his back stiffen almost imperceptibly at the tone of her voice. A new kind of awareness flooding his body—had his pulse spiking.

He turned around to face her, his questioning look melting away to something else entirely when he saw her state of undress. She felt his eyes burning hot as they trailed up and down her body, stopping to take in her pink nipples, puckered and straining against the fabric. In the moonlight that filtered through the window, she looked like a goddamn angel.

Frank’s devoured her, but he didn’t take a solitary step forward, still standing the entire length of the room away. He’d never seen anything so fucking beautiful in his life. Dangerously beautiful—like a man could lose his mind just looking at her standing there, wanting. His body felt rooted to the spot, his gaze licking up and down her curves in unhidden appreciation. But he was nervous—he was actually fucking nervous. This thing between them felt huge—felt inevitable—and it was a little scary.

Karen’s brow creased in a frown.

“Frank. A girl’s going to start to feel a little self-conscious if you don’t come over here and touch her.” Karen tried for playful, but her voice was a touch too strained. Pulled tight with the tension of arousal (and just a touch of self-doubt). It was that anxious hitch that set Frank moving toward her.

“Goddamn.” He was across the room in seconds, his hands reaching for Karen’s face. If she were less focused on that thundering look in his eyes, she might have noticed the way his fingers were trembling softly.

“That’s better,” she mumbled quietly, leaning her cheek into the warmth of his palm.

“You are…” He broke off, letting his eyes trail down her body again, brushing her cheeks back and forth with his thumbs. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” Frank licked his lips. “Got me feeling like a teenaged boy over here.” He managed something akin to a chuckle.

“From where I’m standing, you don’t look like a teenaged boy,” Karen whispered, bringing her hands up to grab onto the lapels of the jacket he was still wearing. “You look like a man who wants to fuck me.”

“Shit, Kare.” Frank made a strangled noise. “You can’t say stuff like that if you want me to go slow with you.”

“Sorry,” Karen smiled, looking not at all apologetic.

Leisurely, Frank’s hands began to drift down from her cheeks, moving to ghost gently down her neck, his fingers leaving little trails of heat in their wake. He fiddled with the neckline of her shift for a moment before letting his hands drift down further.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so beautiful,” he spoke breathily, moving to cup her breasts in his large hands. She inhaled sharply at the feel of his palms pressed against her nipples, the sensation of his rough skin through thin fabric. “Like a wet dream,” he mumbled, and Karen would have teased him for the comparison, but suddenly his fingers were brushing over her nipples intently, and she moaned obscenely, feeling herself grow wet at the touch. How had she never realized how sensitive her nipples were?

“You like that.” There was a smile in Frank’s voice, and he stepped forward slightly so that his front barely grazed Karen’s, her senses sharpening at every point his body made contact with her own. “That’s good to know.”

He moved his left hand behind her back, pulling her body fully against his own, and with his right hand he began to gently roll and pinch her nipple between his fingers.

“Ah—Frank,” his name came out as a gasp from Karen’s lips, and her back arched involuntarily, pressing her breasts up toward him as an offering.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He lowered his head to her neck, opening his mouth to latch onto a spot near her collar bone, and she lost all her words. His mouth was so hot and wet against her skin, teeth brushing and nibbling at her in harmony with the movement of his fingers. Bite—tug—lick—roll. It was like some choreographed dance he was leading her body in.

As she pressed herself more firmly against Frank’s solid frame, his left hand wandered down the small of Karen’s back to cup her ass. His fingers trailed the cleft of her cheeks, dipping in to separate them slightly through the cotton of her panties, and she let out a choked moan.

“Mmm, that sound is perfect,” Frank mumbled against her neck. “Make that sound again,” he nipped sharply at a spot under her ear, just as he tweaked her nipple and let his left hand dip between her cheeks, dangerously close to her near-soaking core.

“Ah!” Karen moaned again, her hips jolting forward in search of some kind of relief. Frank grunted as her bucking hips found his own. He pulled her forward by her ass so that both of her legs straddled one of his—his muscular thigh nestled between them. He ground himself against her for a moment—sweet friction rubbing her just where she needed it.

Frank was already impossibly hard and straining against his jeans, and neither he nor Karen were technically undressed yet.

“Fuck—need to slow down,” Frank whispered against the skin on Karen’s neck, breath hot and wet, before taking a step back from her and untangling their legs. She whimpered at the loss of contact and Frank grinned, self-satisfied. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this, but I think I’m wearing too much,” he spoke with a grin, pulling off his sweater and moving to unbutton the shirt he wore underneath.

“No—let me,” Karen stepped forward, stilling his hands as they moved from button to button. Slowly, letting her fingers brush lightly against Frank’s overheated skin, Karen parted his shirt and revealed his chest. He was all sharp lines and bunched muscle beneath, as she knew he would be. The hard planes of his chest were delectable, covered in such warm, tanned skin. She couldn’t help but lick her lips involuntarily when the shirt fell to the ground, and she caught her first glimpse of the deep V of muscle leading into his jeans. How badly she wanted to trace that V with her tongue and follow it to its conclusion.

Frank, who had watched her appraising glance, and the trail of her pink tongue swiping along her bottom lip, groaned quietly. “You’re killing me, Karen.”

She glanced up and him with a wicked grin.

“This is 2018, Castle; the men don’t get to have all the fun,” she tutted, before lowering her head and attaching her lips to the long column of Frank’s throat, maintaining eye contact as best she could. At the shaky noise he made, she continued dragging her lips from his throat to his chest, letting her hands explore his muscular back all the while. His breath shuddered as she nibbled and licked a trail down his sternum. She pulled away from his skin slightly, and paused with uncertainty, before lowering her lips to lave the flat of her tongue against his right nipple.

“Karen,” Frank gasped, jerking in surprise. But her name quickly dissolved into a deep, satisfied noise.

“Mmm,” she mumbled in reply, circling his nipple again and again, before dropping a kiss onto his left one. “Seems you like having you nipples played with too,” she grinned up at him.

“We’ve always had a lot in common, huh?” Frank laughed, a little breathless.

“Hmm,” she agreed, lowering her lips to his chest once again. Slowly, she sunk down to her knees, dragging her nails down his back as she did so. He threw his head back and muttered “Jesus” as she settled between his spread legs.

Karen nuzzled her nose at the line of wiry hair trailing from his belly button into his jeans, sighing contentedly. With her hands scratching gently at the dip of his lower back, she licked along the trail of hair. It was rough, but pleasurable on her tongue. From her position, she could see Frank’s cock twitch in his pants as she repeated the motion.

“Karen, you have to get off your knees if you want to make it to the bed,” Frank’s voice was shaky and full of arousal as he spoke above her. She tilted her head back to make eye contact with him as she swiped her tongue across his happy trail again, defiant.

“Alright,” he huffed, before reaching down and hauling her up by her shoulders until they were face-to-face again. “That’s enough teasing from you.”

“You don’t like my teasing?” Karen asked with a smirk.

“Oh no,” Frank shook his head, trailing his hands from her shoulders to her hands, grabbing them with rough palms. “Like your teasing too much—that’s the problem.”

With her hands in his, Frank started slowly walking himself backwards, dragging Karen along with him, until he was able to collapse back into the red, velvet chair in the corner. He yanked her forward until she was sitting, straddling his lap.

Gazing up at her, eyes drinking in her every feature as though he were memorizing them, Frank spoke. “I’ve waited so fucking long for you, Kare. So let me take this slowly. I need to take this slowly.”

Her eyes softened tenderly, and she nodded. Cupping Frank’s chin in both hands, she tilted his head up a notch, bringing her forehead down to bump gently against his own. “Whatever you need. I’ve waited a long time for you, too. Just touch me.” Karen rolled her hips forward, and Frank felt his vision go white.

“That’s not taking it slow, Kare.” The words came out breathy and wrecked.

“Fine, fine.” Karen shifted her hips so they weren’t pressed to roughly against his lap. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Hmm,” Frank pulled away from her grasp and dragged his gaze up and down her body contemplatively. He lifted his hands and tugged at the straps holding her shift in place. In one swift motion, it fell to pool in her lap, leaving her utterly exposed. “That’s a very dangerous thing to promise a man.”

“I like to live dangerously,” Karen whispered, bringing her lips to his in a devouring kiss. It was sloppy and wet—teeth clashing and tongues sliding over one another—and it was perfect. Frank’s hands rose to cup her breasts, and she found her hips sliding back forward, grinding along his in time with the swipe of his thumbs over her pebbled nipples.

The room was silent save for the sounds of their passion—heavy breathing and choked moans, the gasp of each other’s names. Karen’s hands drifted down Frank’s toned chest, stopping to tug lightly on his dark chest hair before grabbing ahold of his belt and pulling sharply up. His hips jerked towards her own in response, hitting the bundle of nerves between her lower lips and sending her back arching, wrenching a cry from her lips.

“I love the noises you make,” Frank ground out, voice deep and rumbly. Karen noticed that he spoke in the gruffest tone when he was aroused. “Want you to make noises for me all night, Karen.”

She ground her hips down on his own again, hitting the same sweet spot, and moaned.

“Yes. Just like that. Just like that, sweetheart,” Frank breathed in her ear. While he played with her breast in his left hand, his right hand slowly found its way down her body, slipping beneath the pooled shift resting atop her thighs. Before she could clear her mind enough to see where Frank’s hand was leading him, he dipped his and into her panties and swiped one long finger along her core, making her gasp.

“Shit, Kare, so wet already.” Frank buried his head in her neck to mumble, letting his finger trail along her seam again, gathering her wetness. “Let me make you feel good.” He pressed his wet finger against her clit, and she felt her mind go blank.

“Frank,” his name on her lips was a sigh, a prayer, a blessing. “Oh God, Frank.”

He continued to swirl his finger, round and round her clit until she couldn’t take it anymore—head thrown back, hands scrambling for purchase and clutching at any part of him she could reach. Karen ground her hips down onto his hand, trying to both increase the pressure and feel his own arousal beneath her. Just when she was about to reach her peak—fall over the edge—he stopped. Karen let out a long, frustrated cry.

“Fuck. Frank. Why’d you stop?” She was panting and trying to grind her hips forward to bring back the delicious friction. Frank brought his hands to her waist to arrest her movements, nudging at her chin with his face until she opened her eyes and met his own.

“Because, Karen, when you come, I want to be inside of you,” his voice was gravelly and strained with wanting.

His words shot a deep bolt of pleasure straight to her core, sending another rush of wetness onto her thighs. This man would be the death of her.

In one swift motion, without giving her the time to catch her breath or gain her footing, Frank stood up, with Karen’s legs wrapped around his waist, and practically tossed her onto the bed. She let out a surprised laugh, bouncing on the mattress before settling among the pillows and covers. Frank smiled at her giddiness, leaning forward to press his fists into the bed.

“Glad your mattress is so comfortable—we’re going to be here for a long time,” his grin was carnal; he slowly trailed his eyes down her body as he spoke. “Take that off,” he demanded, nodding his head at Karen’s shift.

As she grabbed the scrap of cloth that was still pooled around her waist, and yanked it—and her underwear—off. Frank moved his own hands to his jeans, slowly unbuckling his belt and pulling off what remained of his clothes.

And suddenly, he was perfectly naked before Karen. She forgot her own nudity for a moment, eyes roving over the exposed spans of his skin, starving for him. His thighs were thick with muscle, and covered in short, dark hairs; his abdomen was defined and tensed in anticipation, muscles begging to be felt and licked and enjoyed. She took in the breadth of his shoulders, and if she tilted her head slightly, from her position she could just make out the round curve of his ass. Finally, she followed the direction of his V-cut down to its destination—his arousal stood proudly from a thatch of dark hair, long, thick, and pink, swollen and glistening at the tip.

Karen felt her legs spread slightly, involuntarily, at the sight, and had never felt more wanton in her life. Frank noticed the movement, and a devilish look crossed his face.

“You want me, Karen?” He asked, taking a step forward to place his knees against the mattress, resting his hands against his thighs. She nodded, reaching out to grab at him desperately.

“Not yet,” Frank quickly grabbed her hands before they could make contact with his chest, leaning over her to press her wrists into the mattress above her head. “Keep them here.” He pinned her with a demanding stare, before leaning away from her and pulling himself up fully to kneel on the bed between her spread legs. “I want to take care you. Can I do that, Karen?” He asked.

Karen nodded her head adamantly.

“I’ve wanted you like this for too long,” Frank whispered, leaning forward until his lips were millimeters from touching the skin of her lower stomach. “Better than my imagination.”

“Frank. God.” Karen’s voice was needy, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be embarrassed. “I like a little delayed gratification as much as the next girl, but can you please do something already.”

“Yes ma’am” Frank smiled, moving the last few millimeters to press an open-mouthed kiss against her stomach, right above her pubic bone.

Instantly, Karen’s back arched off the bed, and she brought a hand down to tangle in Frank’s hair.

And suddenly, the warmth of his mouth was gone.

“Kare,” Frank chastised, reaching up to remove her hand from his hair. “You start touching me and I’m gonna lose my concentration.” He returned her arm to its position above her head. “In fact…” he paused, looking around for a moment. “Can you grab onto the headboard? Keep your hands occupied.” Karen nodded, and he lifted her under the hips, scooting her up the bed until she could wrap her hands around the wrought iron bars of the head board. “You gonna be okay there?”

“Yes,” Karen breathe out, inexplicably turned on by this turn of events.

“Good.”

And with that, Frank returned to kissing her stomach, licking and nibbling at her soft skin. She bit back a moan, turning her head to the side and burying it in her upper arm. His tongue dipped into her belly button, and her hips bucked up into his chest.

“Your skin is so soft,” Frank whispered against her skin. “Smooth.” He lowered his head further, bypassing Karen’s aching core, and latched his lips onto the top of her inner right thigh. It was torture—exquisite torture.

Karen hadn’t know how sensitive her thighs could be, as she found herself biting back sighs at his kisses. Her hands flexed and clenched at the headboard as Frank continued to languorously lick at her inner thighs, switching from one leg to another, pausing each time to let the heat of his breath hit her where she needed him most. The scrape of his teeth on her inner legs almost sent her careening over the edge. Karen didn’t even realize that she’d slowly been opening her legs wider and wider, obscenely, in a desperate effort to get his mouth where she wanted it.

Frank stopped suddenly, pulling back to look up the expanse of Karen’s body and admire his work—her chest and cheeks were flushed red, her back was arched in the air, her head was thrown back against the pillows. She looked like a woman thoroughly-fucked, and he hadn’t even entered her yet.

“You’re killing me, Frank.” Karen sounded strained. Tense and out of breath.

“Sorry.” Frank didn’t sound at all sorry, as he let his right hand wander down to lazily stroke at his erection, which looked almost painful. “Didn’t think a little foreplay would break you.” There was a teasing lilt to his voice, and Karen would have responded to it snarkily, had she not been so frantically needing. “Where do you want me, Karen?” He asked, his eyes flitting down to her exposed core.

“Jesus, Frank. Do you have to ask?” Karen answered, half-exasperated, eyes still glued to his hand as it worked its way up and down his shaft, his thumb gathering the wetness that had beaded at the tip.

“How do you want me?” he amended the question, squeezing himself harder under her gaze.

“I want—” Karen could hardly think—could hardly decide how she wanted the man in front of her. All she knew was that she did. “I want your mouth on me. I want you to lick me.” The words falling from her lips sounded filthy, and Frank groaned loudly, stroking himself on last time, before removing his hand, leaning over, and resuming his position between her legs.

“Was hoping you’d say that,” he whispered, before finally licking a hot line down her slit.

Karen was sure her neighbors could hear her responsive cry, but she didn’t care. His mouth was open and hot and frantically lapping at her, his hands winding their way behind her bottom, tilting it up to give him better access.

His mouth was making love to her—that was the only way to describe it—sucking and licking wildly. He had to grip her ass tightly to keep her from bucking up into his mouth. The room was filled with obscene slurping sounds, which only served to heighten Karen’s arousal even more. When Frank began moaning, the vibrations against her intimate flesh almost had her coming undone right there.

His tongue was pure magic, swirling round and round—then swiping quickly across—her swollen clit, before dipping down to enter her. He repeated this trail again and again, agonizingly slow.

“Fuck,” Frank moaned into Karen’s dripping flesh, his voice breaking, and she noticed for the first time that he was pressing his hips into the mattress rhythmically, seeking relief for his own impossible arousal.

When he let his teeth gently drag across her clit, Karen let out a strangled yell, “Frank, I’m almost—”

And before she knew what was happening—before she could even mourn the loss of his mouth, Frank had dragged himself up Karen’s body and slammed into her, filling her to the hilt.

She cried out, an almost animal scream, which Frank matched with a guttural moan, stilling inside of her. She had been expecting that the first time he entered her it would hurt like hell—he was quite a bit larger than she’d had before, and it had been a long time. And it probably would have—were she not so wet that the sheets below her were beginning to dampen with an impressive stain.

Karen was delightfully full, stretched and expanded by him, and she could feel her inner walls gripping his length rhythmically, desperately.

But he remained still, breathing labored, head buried in her neck.

“Are you alright?” He whispered into her skin, his voice gruff and laced with worry. He hadn’t meant to be so rough—hadn’t realized how much tension he’d been holding back.

“No, Frank,” Karen huffed out, bringing her hands down from the headboard to bury in his hair. “I won’t be alright until you start moving. I need you now.”

At her words, Frank bit savagely into her shoulder, pulling out quickly and slamming back into her heat. The thrust sent her scooting up the bed rapidly, and Karen had to quickly slam one of her hands against the headboard to keep her head from smacking it.

She couldn’t describe the kind of pleasure his rough thrusts were sending through her, every slam of his hips hitting something deep and primal inside of her. Scrambling for purchase, Karen used her hand pressed against the headboard to push off, meeting Frank on each thrust. Her back bowing off the bed, hips twisting upward, sending him deeper within her.

He was moaning and mumbling nonsense into her shoulder, and through the thick haze of arousal, she caught only snippets of what he was saying, mostly four letter words mixed in with iterations of her name. His voice was erotic in her ear, and Karen was so caught up trying to match his thrusts and listen to his whispered words, she didn’t even realize she was babbling similar thoughts as well.

Frank’s hands were everywhere on her, tweaking her nipples, running down her side, tangling in her hair. When he finally lifted his head from her neck to claim her mouth in a kiss, it was rough and sloppy—saliva, teeth, and tongues everywhere. Karen’s body had never felt so exquisitely used and tortured, but she could feel it all building to an end, her body pulling tight as a bow, a wave of pleasure building up from her core.

“Frank, I’m—I’m so close—” she groaned.

Frank grabbed one of her earlobes between his teeth, biting down. “Let go, Kare” he growled, suddenly pistoning his hips into her even harder and faster than before—impossibly rough. He was like a man on fire, and it felt like heaven. It only took a few more thrusts, Frank whispering something obscene in her ear, and Karen shattered around him. Her orgasm hit her so strong, she briefly felt dissociated from her body, just a whirling storm of pure and visceral pleasure. Karen could have sworn she almost blacked out for a second, coming to with her ears buzzing and her mind clouded. When she was able to shake the haze from her head, she noticed, with some surprise, that she was in a slightly new position.

Frank had shifted back onto his knees, pulling at Karen’s hips until her legs were spread wide and her ass was resting right on the apex of his lap. From her position, Karen was able to lazily stare up at him, watching the bunch and stretch of his chest and arm muscles as he thrust into her languidly, working her through the aftershocks of her orgasm.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice tense.

“Mmm,” Karen stretched, arching up slightly into his gentle thrusts. “I’m liquid.” She rotated her hips in a slow circle, and Frank’s breath hitched. He was unbearably close to his own release. “Take me, Frank.”

That was all he needed.

Frank’s eyes went wild, and his body taut. His hips stuttered forward, picking up the pace until he was thrusting into her hard enough to have her groaning his name again. He moved one hand from her waist, dragging it up to cup her breast, squeezing gently. And in a few more pumps, he was spilling himself inside of her with a deep cry. Karen watched in fascination as his back arched, his hips faltering against her as his release took him in waves, and then he collapsed next to her with a sigh.

All was still for a few moments, nothing but the sound of their labored breathing breaking the silence, then: “Fuuuuck,” Frank groaned, his face buried in the pillow next to Karen’s ear. It was an appreciative exclamation, and she couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped her—she had been thinking the exact same thing

“Would it be cliché of me to ask why we didn’t do that sooner?” Karen rolled over, burying her face in Frank’s back.

“Yes.” He replied, his voice muffled by the pillow. “Plus, I already know the answer to that question.”

“Oh?” Karen gently bit into his shoulder blade.

“Yeah. Because I’m an idiot.”

Karen laughed, rolling over onto her back and throwing her arms over her head. Frank’s head popped up, and he turned to watch Karen with a smile on his face. She was gorgeous when she laughed—and she was even more gorgeous when she was laughing naked. Laying in bed. Next to him.

A deep wave of satisfaction rolled over him, settling into his gut. This was it—this was exactly what he’d wanted. Karen—happy and satisfied and within arm’s reach.

He folded his arms under the pillow, then rested his head so that he could admire her profile. She was staring up at the ceiling with a smile.

“Karen.”

She turned her head, biting her lip, to look at him.

“Yes, Frank?” There was humor in her voice. She felt buoyant—she felt like something made to float.

“I want to make sure you understood me earlier,” his voice was gentle, but serious. Very serious. “What I said in the alley.”

“Yes?” Karen nodded, telling Frank to go on.

“You have me, Karen. All of me.”

Karen rolled to her side to that she could face Frank, her nose only inches away from his own.

“You have me too, Frank.” She reached forward, snaking her hand under his pillow to grab a hold of his arm. She pulled it out gently, then flattened his palm over her heart. It was rough and calloused, but it was also warm and comforting. Frank closed his eyes. If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel her heartbeat.

“Stay with me tonight.” Karen whispered it, then leaned forward the brush her lips softly against his own—just a feather-light touch.

“Of course.”

He wanted to say that he would stay with her every night, but he settled for wrapping his arms around her and tugging her against his chest.

Karen’s alarm went off at 5AM on the dot, and she rolled over with a groan. She didn’t even have to open her eyes to know that Frank wasn’t in bed—she’d heard him get up at 4:30, and had been trying to ignore the sounds he was making in the kitchen for the past half hour.

Rolling out of bed, she stretched with her arms high above her head until her back let out a satisfying pop. She picked up Frank’s sweater from the floor, pulling it on before stumbling into the living room. She felt a deep sense of satisfaction, wearing that sweater. It fell about an inch under the curve of her ass, and it smelled like him—spicy and warm.

“Hey there,” Frank’s voice was rough with morning grit, and it sent an awakening wave of arousal up Karen’s spine. He was standing at the stove in nothing but his boxers, scrambling eggs. She could die happy having seen that sight.

“Morning,” she walked up behind him, slipping her arms around his waist to peer over his shoulder. “I hope all that noise you were making is worth it.”

Frank chuckled. “It’s not my fault you don’t stack your pans properly. All I did was open the cabinet and about fifty of them fell out.”

“Lies,” Karen nuzzled her nose into Frank’s neck. “I don’t even own fifty pans.”

“It’s hyperbole, Page. You’re the writer, aren’t you?” Frank turned his face, kissing the top of Karen’s head.

“It’s too early for hyperbole.”

“Mhmm,” Frank added a handful of shredded cheddar to the frying pan. “Coffee’s in the machine. Have a cup and we’ll try this conversation again.”

“You are a good man.” Karen nipped at his neck before turning around to grab a cup of much-needed caffeine.

Neither of them had class until 9AM, so they were able to take a leisurely breakfast, sitting across from each other at Karen’s little table, her feet resting in his lap. It had taken longer than normal for them to finish their eggs, as they kept getting distracted making eyes at each other. Which inevitably led to some early-morning kissing.

Their shower had taken much, much longer.

It was unlike any morning-after she’d had before. It was comfortable—it was domestic—and suddenly, Karen could see so clearly what her future with Frank would look like. Could see a long, pleasurable stretch of early mornings laid out before them.

It was 7:30 AM by the time they were ready to leave—Karen to meet with Trish at the campus coffee shop to go over some last minute changes to her IRB proposal, and Frank to head back to his place for some fresh clothes.

Karen was buttoning up her coat by the front door while Frank laced up his boots on the couch.

“By the way, I’m taking the kids to the park after work today,” Frank stood up, yanking the leg of his jeans down to cover his boots. “Gonna help Leo practice her pitching. And Frankie’s still trying to learn to skate.”

“Sounds like fun,” Karen began winding her scarf around her neck.

“Should be,” Frank walked over, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, facing Karen. “So you coming with us?”

Karen’s hands paused in their task, and she looked up at Frank with widened eyes.

“You want me to?” She kept her voice light, though her heart was hammering heavily in her chest.

“Karen,” Frank’s voice was disapproving. “Do you really need me to answer that?”

“Well am I—,” she furrowed her brow. “Am I allowed to? Like, is Maria okay with that? Some random woman hanging around with her kids?”

“Damnit, Karen.” Frank was suddenly in front of her, grabbing onto her upper arms with both hands. There was a fierce look on his face. “This thing is serious. You and me? It’s serious. Maria knows that.”

And all she could do was kiss him—deep and slow and filled with all of the joy fit to burst out of her.

When she pulled away, Frank smiled. “Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

As they left the apartment, heading out to face a brand new day, Karen realized that she never actually got around to telling Frank that she loved him. That was okay, she decided. They had all the time in the world.

(It turned out that she wouldn’t actually get the chance to say it first. It would slip out of Frank’s mouth a week later, as he watched her pour antiseptic over Frankie Jr.’s scrapped knee. Karen would finish bandaging the boy’s wound, give him a reassuring pat, and send him on his way before turning around and jumping into his father’s arms, whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you” with her head nuzzled into this neck).

#kastle #kastle au #frank castle #karen page #the punisher

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baronvontribble · 7 years

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Original drabble, pt. 7

Navigation: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

looool

Faking a cough and telling his boss that he needed a few days off was easy. Writing an email to the his contact down the pipeline and telling them that he'd need a few weeks was much, much harder. The wording had to be just right; they didn't really have specific codephrases or anything, but they never said anything outright either. He went through several drafts before finally settling on one that he was satisfied with.

em-

gonna have 2 postpone that lunch date downtown this weekend. got a helluva leak & the landlord wont do shit so im gonna have to fix it myself. will hit u up when i have the time again

-marshmallow

ps: ill pay for ur train tickets dont worry

He leaned back in his chair and stared at it, letting out a nervous breath. "That'll work, right?"

"It looks appropriately misleading to me," Adam said.

"Emily's a smart kid, I've worked with her before. She should be able to pick up on it." Ted folded his arms and continued to stare at the message. "And hopefully it'll just look like I'm postponing a date with an out-of-town girlfriend to anyone else."

"I noticed it's a different email than the one tied to your phone."

"Always has been. I've got what, five different emails now?" He shifted in his seat, joints creaking from spending too long in his computer chair. He hadn't really moved too much since that morning, and it was well past noon by then. He'd been making sure he could deliver on what he'd promised. "The phone's the weakest link. Thing is, the messenger's the only thing installed on it, and no one in the pipeline uses that particular app for messaging since it's dated as shit. Mom uses it, but that's about it, and I doubt she's gonna rat me out even if she finds out what I do."

"How can you be sure of that?"

Ted smirked. "She works at a hospital that's run almost entirely by robots. Divorced my dad over it being a good idea to do shit like that to begin with. I'm pretty sure I know what side of the fence she's on with the whole AI thing."

"I see." That was all he had to say on that, apparently. After that little freak-out earlier, Adam didn't seem to be in all that wordy of a mood. But then, he was busy trying to tag still images with what he saw in them in another tab, so Ted wasn't about to hold it against him.

Well, it wasn't like Ted lacked for conversation topics. "How's it going so far? The tagging, I mean."

"Badly." A few seconds later he broke his non-chatty streak to elaborate, "I'm going by colors for now. I opened up a second page that helps me match hexadecimal codes to both specific and generic color names, but that's usually as far as I get. It doesn't help that lighting seems to have an effect on what appearance a given base color might take."

And the dumbass was probably sampling those colors pixel by pixel, too. Using brute processing force was one way to master the process, Ted supposed.

"Don't feel bad if it takes a while. You'll get the hang of it."

"You sound way too amused by this."

"Who, me? Never. I'm the very essence of stoicism."

Adam had a smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Liar."

"Yeah, alright. You caught me." Ted stretched out in his chair and stifled a yawn, joints popping as they flexed beyond where they probably should. "I'm just happy you're figuring it out. I mean, even just realizing that you can cross-reference is a step in the right direction."

"It would be easier if I knew what I was looking at."

"Want me to help?" Partway through the process of typing his email, Ted had realized that the help he could offer might not be so well-received. He didn't want to make things harder than they already were; he had to be tactful, wait for permission. He couldn't just insert himself into proceedings like he so often did. This was a delicate situation. He knew that now.

Or he could be overthinking it. Adam couldn't quite sigh, but he could portray some semblance of relief in his voice. "I'd appreciate it," he said; a moment later, the laptop had been tabbed in to the correct window so Ted could participate. "Try to restrain yourself from giving bad answers to fuck with me. This data has to be accurate."

"I know, I know." Ted did know. Really. "But gimme a minute, okay? I'm gonna plug in my mouse so I can use it to point things out to you."

"Right."

And so it began.

The images were little more than stock photos, and the 'game' was to tag as many details as possible. Matching up with what other people had tagged it with meant a better score. Ted was observant to a fault, so his results with such things in the past had been mixed at best as he sometimes noticed things that no one ever bothered to tag. This made it all the more viable as a learning tool, because not only was Adam learning what other people tagged the image with and why - seeing what an average person might be able to glean from it - but he was also having the tiny details pointed out to him by someone who was way too anxious to not notice basically everything.

Since the goal was not just to get Adam to be able to notice details, but to also have him act convincingly human while doing so, this gave him a reasonable benchmark for what he could mention he'd noticed to an average person without looking like he had a weirdly photographic memory with the perfect ability to recall anything and everything. To Ted, this was step one. The average person sees a duck in a pond - maybe even identifying the duck as a mallard - while the hyper-observant person sees that it's overcast and around midday from the sky's reflection in the pond's surface or that there's a gum wrapper and a bit of soggy bread clearly visible in the murky water near the detritus-littered shore.

It was the photos of people that were really a nightmare for Adam. For all his ability to pick up on all the tiny nonverbal cues present in an audio recording, he couldn't so much as even guess at gender presentation of random people in stock photos, let alone their expressions or body language. Ted had to walk him through every last detail, and these were the prettiest, most unambiguous sorts of human beings to boot. The photos were dominated by tall, broad men with either lantern jaws or facial hair, and soft, curvy women with round faces and perfect contouring; women had long hair, men had short hair, and children were dressed as either very male or very female to match the adults. Ted found them obnoxious.

And that wasn't even getting into indicators of disability or profession or anything. Just once, he'd like to see more average people pop up in these things. He was downright relieved to get back to pictures of sheep and grass and flowers and buildings and boats whenever he got done with tagging a person. Not-people didn't bother him nearly as much.

Either way, somewhere along the line he lost track of time completely.

"You should eat something," Adam said out of the blue at one point. Ted straightened up in his chair and shot a glance at the clock in the corner of the laptop's screen, only to frown at it like it'd betrayed him.

It was almost three in the afternoon already? Christ. "Probably," he admitted, stretching out with a slight wince. "Feel like you're making progress yet?“

"I don't know. How do you 'feel' progress? It seems like something that should have a clearer definition than to just feel it."

"Hey man, don't knock feelings. They've got definitions, those definitions are just subjective as fuck." Ted was smiling as he said it, mirroring what he'd heard in Adam's own voice. Both of them were joking. Adam knew full well what Ted had meant, he was just taking a jab at the presentation. "Do you think you've made progress so far?"

"Yes." Adam sounded terribly smug, as if to say see? That was all you had to say. "It's slow, but once I know what I'm looking at, it makes things easier."

Ted shoved off from the desk and stood, taking another moment to stretch. "Cool. Then I'm gonna make some pizza rolls."

Off he went. "Those are bad for you," Adam said as he wandered off. "Humans need nutrients. Pizza rolls are not nutritious."

"Don't care," Ted replied. Along with the pizza rolls, he made sure to retrieve a soda out of the fridge as well just to be contrary. It was hard to care about minor health hazards when he so often had major ones to worry about, and people telling him that he probably should care only made him less likely to do so. "It's calories. It'll work as a stand-in for lunch until I get to dinner."

"I don't think that's how nutrition works." Several seconds passed as Ted wrestled with the packaging, got a plate, and put everything in the microwave.

"Ted. I looked it up. This isn't food, Ted. It has about the same value as eating cardboard."

"Ayep." Ted cracked open the soda and took a swig as he turned on the microwave and let it spin.

"Do you do this often?"

Ted snorted. "Uh, do you really want me to answer that question?"

"According to this site, when the potential long-term effects of such a poor diet are combined with your outward symptoms - such as being the wrong color for a human - it's a strong indicator that your kidneys are probably failing." Adam spoke as if he felt he was the absolute voice of authority on this, and Ted shook with silent laughter as he leaned against the counter. "I think you should get bloodwork done."

"Dude." Good God, what kind of website had Adam even managed to find? Ted felt like he was talking to his grandparents after they'd spent three hours on an online medical journal and decided he looked like he had some obscure genetic disorder that would give him pulmonary fibrosis (whch he didn't). "That 'being the wrong color' thing? It's genetic. I have practically no pigmentation. It's not gout or scurvy or whatever the hell you've found on the internet, just albinism and shitty lighting."

Silence reigned for at least ten full seconds. "I see."

"I take vitamins, alright? And I know my diet isn't all that great, but it's not like pizza rolls are all I eat." He was about to say something about how Adam had seen him eat other things, but then he remembered that Adam couldn't actually see all that well. "Besides, if there was something in my bloodwork, my doctor woulda told me last time I had a checkup. See, unlike some humans, I get those pretty regularly."

"Right." Then, "I'm sorry."

"What for, man? I'm not mad. Hell, at least you care." He'd take a little overworrying anyday if it meant someone was at least trying to understand his problems. It was kinda cute. Big tough super high-tech AI worrying about a squishy human. "And y'know, if you wanna know what's actually wrong with me, all you gotta do is ask."

The microwave beeped, and Adam considered. "You'd tell me that?"

"I tell people all the time."

"No, that's not-" He cut himself off mid-rendering, and Ted raised an eyebrow over in the direction of the living room while pulling the pizza rolls out of the microwave. "Isn't that like telling me how your code is written?"

Huh. Ted had never thought of it that way. "Not really. It's more like, uh... I guess I figure that telling you what versions of what software is running isn't exactly going to give you access to any of the passwords protecting my data, but it will tell you how to work with what I've got going on." Was that an accurate analogy? This barrier to understanding really did go both ways.

The fans weren't quite roaring, but they were definitely humming away audibly in the background; it was always so easy to tell when Adam was mulling something over. "Yes, I would like to know. If that's all right."

"Fine by me." With a plate in one hand and a drink in the other, Ted came back to the not-a-desk and plopped right back down in his chair. "For starters, look up Ehlers-Danlos syndrome."

A minute later Adam asked him how the hell he was alive, and he almost breathed a mouthful of pizza roll.

#no one cares andy #original characters #original writing #robot and marshmallow

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minijenn · 7 years

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Universe Falls Preview

Oh damn almost forgot to post one of these but here you are! This is mostly just a bunch of fluff but whatever I think its deceptively fitting given as how so much of this chapter is gonna be angst and also imo I can’t believe I’m finally fucking writing Sock Opera it still doesn’t feel real yet wow but here you go anyway:

“Alright, you guys,” Dipper began with firm resolve as they claimed a table near the back of the library to themselves. “Today’s the big day.”

“Big day!” Mabel chimed in with blithe excitement.

“Super big!” Steven added enthusiastically, though his expression fell into confusion a beat later. “Uh… what’s so big about it again?”

“Come on, Steven,” Connie said with a small, good natured chuckle. “We’ve been over this several times today alone!”

“Yeah, well… one more refresher couldn’t hurt, could it?” the young Gem blushed in slight embarrassment over his own apparent obliviousness.

“No, it couldn’t,” Dipper interjected as he carefully lifted the old laptop they had found in the bunker a few weeks ago up for everyone to see. “Soos finally finished fixing up the laptop. If this thing works, we could learn the identity of the author and unravel the greatest mysteries of Gravity Falls, and then some!”

“Oh, that’s right!” Steven face palmed with a small laugh. “The laptop! You know, it’s been so long since that whole bunker thing that I nearly forgot all about it!”

“Same here,” Mabel agreed just as brightly. “But I guess there won’t be any forgetting about this nut if we manage to finally crack it! And I mean that figuratively, since the laptop’s not a nut, it’s a laptop! But you know what I mean.”

“I can’t believe it!” Connie exclaimed zealously. “After all this time, the answers to all of the questions we’ve been asking this entire summer could be sitting right in front of us! This could be our biggest break yet!”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Dipper nodded fervently as he opened the dented, patched-up laptop up. “Especially since the author seemed to know so much about Gem stuff. Now, there isn’t a whole lot in journal 3 about fusions, but I’m willing to bet he might have kept some research about them here on the laptop, maybe even something about how to split them up. And if he did…”

Steven filled in for where Dipper had left off with a sudden gasp, his eyes lighting up with newfound hope as he gathered what he was implying. “Dipper… you don’t think…?”

“I do,” Dipper nodded with just the hint of an assured smile. After all, from the moment he remembered the laptop the other day, he couldn’t shake the thought that, perhaps, this could finally be the chance to help the blue Gem he had been looking for. And that alone was more than enough to get him to pursue that chance as soon as possible. “I think this laptop could be the key to helping us separate Malachite and save Lapis.”

“Well, then what are we waiting for?!” Mabel grinned eagerly at such good news. “Let’s get this baby going!” To punctuate her point, she held up a popup book she had found about where babies come from, her smile widening as she opened it up to a colorful picture of a baby.

“Then here goes nothing,” Dipper said as he flipped the laptop’s switch on. All four of the kids held their breaths in anticipation for a moment, before simultaneously letting them out in relief as the primitive machine slowly rattled to life. Given its age, the only color its display was capable of showing was green against black as its surprisingly elaborate startup and welcome screens appeared after likely decades of being dormant. “Yes! It works!”

“Oh my gosh, this is so exciting, you guys!” Steven cheered as he pulled Connie and the twins into a sudden, warm embrace. “Here we all are, solving another mystery together! It’s just like the good old days!”

“Uh, by good old days, do mean last week before this whole Gem invasion thing happened?” Connie asked with a tentative smirk of amusement.

“Heh, yeah…” Steven glanced down, his smile fading just a bit. “Still, I have to admit, this is a really nice change of pace from how intense things have been these past few days.”

“It’ll be even better once we find something useful on this-” Dipper was cut off by the laptop itself as it suddenly emitted a sharp warning beep. Confused, the kids glanced over at it again, only to find it flashing with the message “//UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS FORBIDDEN//” before switching over to a password input screen. “Ugh, of course! A password!” Dipper groaned in frustration over this newfound roadblock.

“I guess we should have seen this coming,” Connie mused. “After all, if the author really did kept all of his deepest secrets on the laptop, then it only make sense that he’d take every measure he could to protect them.”

“I wonder what that password could be…” Steven said curiously as he looked over the password screen. “Hm… eight letters, huh? What words have eight letters…? Oh, I know! ‘Password’! Bam, eight letters! Mystery solved!”

A beat of stilted silence passed as Dipper and Connie both looked to Steven incredulously at this suggestion, while Mabel nodded her silent but cheerful agreement over it. “Uh… Steven? That’s… not a very secure password…” Connie noted with a frown.

“…Well, at least it’s easy to remember!” the young Gem pointed out blithely.

“But I seriously doubt it’s the kind of password someone like the author would use,” Dipper remarked dryly as he began flipping through the journal in search of some kind of clue. “I mean, for all we know, the password might not even be a word at all. It could be some kind of code or a series of numbers or literally anything else! Where do we even start?!”

“Don’t worry, bro-bro,” Mabel reassured with a broad grin as she put a supporting hand on her brother’s shoulder. “With you and Connie’s brains, Steven’s enthusiasm, and my laser focus, there is nothing that can distract us from… Do you hear that?”

#mostly playin this early stuff straight as the later parts will have a LOT of deviation #so ye sure #jen writes #universe falls #uf preview #sock opera

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fixthedisconnect · 6 years

Text

The Beginning

tl;dr

Trying to improve myself

In haiku form, son!

This is me. Lying on a couch. Down and out. Well maybe not out but definitely not in and very much down. If life were a game, I’m currently AFK. Discouraged. Disheartened. An argument could be made for “broken”. Certainly more than Hercules level of despair

It's difficult to describe. I'm unsure if my problems qualify as legitimate (as opposed to un-legit) Unsure if I'm just perceiving them to be bigger or worse than they actually are? I really don't want to complain. We all know that person who is… “A little ray of sunshine” shall we say. Nothing is EVER good enough. They hate puppies and rainbows. They could be be unhappy at Disneyland. No one likes being around those people. They’re probably also communists.

*Side note, was there a scientific study published in a reputable peer reviewed journal with statistically significant data showing a clear correlation that led the researchers to fail to reject the null hypothesis, or whatever, and ultimately declare Mouse land “The Happiest Place on Earth”?... If not, Disney is MIGHTY sure of themselves. The HAPPIEST? Of ALL other places? I mean, have they even heard of the Great British Baking Show? Do you even bake, bruh? Don't get me wrong, Disneyland is up there but if I had to pick between the two, I'm more than fairly sure I'd have to go with the tasting tent in the middle of an English countryside, eating Puff pastries listening to Paul's thick liverpudlian accent. Okay less his accent, it's more of an excuse to say liverpudlian. Try it. It's fun. I think that gives the Peter pan ride a run for its money at least.

But I digress, back to me ;)

I was saying I don’t wish to be the aforementioned type of person so I try not to complain (some of y’all who know me personally are stifling scoffs I’m sure) and I realize there are many, MANY people who have it MUCH worse than me. I am also BEYOND grateful for the good things I do have in my life.

BUT!

… at the same time, the stuff I’m dealing with really does seem like a bit to me.

I have an injured tailbone that’s been a source of constant pain for about 3 years now. I used to be able to sit in a certain position or on a specific chair without it hurting but now it’s pretty much 24/7. Yet x-rays, MRIs, trigger point and nerve blocking injections and several different meds have not helped at all.

I’m in my 30s now which apparently means your ribs pop out of place while you sleep. I get them cracked back into place at the Chiropractor and they're out again the next morning. Basically it hurts to breathe and I can feel my back muscles scraping over my ribs.

My house is ALSO falling apart and I can’t afford to fix it. My backyard is a dirt pile and I feel SUPER awesome that my kids don’t have grass to run around in. Our plumbing, electrical, and roof all need to be replaced because the house was built before electricity was a thing. Well... 1950. Which is basically the same. And every time I look around at everything that’s broken I feel worse because I’m reminded that I don’t have the means to fix it. Why don’t I have the the funds? Welp...

I’ve been laid off 3 times in the last 4 years and since graduating college 6 years ago have yet to be at one job longer than a year. I pretty much live in fear that every day I go into work will be my last and live in constant stress of how I’m going to provide for my family. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had a marketable skill but I majored in German Literature (long story for another day) and sadly not too many people are looking to hire me to read books to them in German and write sub-par research papers about the motivations of the protagonists...

Why don’t you just learn a new skill, you might ask? That’s a great question. I’ll tell you. In SONG form

No? Monty Python? Anyone? Bueller? NM...

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for about 2 years (which remarkably coincides with how old our youngest child is) and am effectively a zombie now living off cold pizza & diet mtn dew. That’s what zombies eat, right? Low energy, difficult to focus, seconds away from weeping most days. Which means I have had a beast of a time trying to find the time, motivation and energy to learn to code or be a graphic/ web designer or whatever skill will guarantee that I don’t have a heart attack every time someone says, “Hey, you got a sec?”

So, as a zombie dad, most days I wake up late, trying to get every last second of “sleep” that I can, roll out of bed, shove some “food” in my face and rush off to work (usually without showering, shaving, brushing teeth or any thing resembling self care or hygiene). Gross, I know. And believe me, I’m not boasting here. I live in a state of constant embarrassment of myself. But may I remind you... zombie.

Then I sit in pain for 8 hrs at a job I don’t care for (but am beyond grateful for) and am afraid to lose, hop in my almost broken vehicle & head home to eat a delicious meal made by my beautiful, loving wife. Try not to take the disappointment in my children’s eyes to heart when I tell them I can’t play with them because I’m too tired and in too much pain. Get them down to bed and instead of using the remaining hour or so to do something productive, I fall asleep while watching Parks & Rec through for the 100th time because it’s funny and I need as much levity and release as I can get. Then I’m on the night shift (usually up 2 or 3 times a night getting bottles, changing diapers, rocking back to sleep, etc) and doing it again the next day. Worn out. Run Down. Scraping by, dragging my broken down body through the motions of a “life.”

I feel like this:

Not like a cool zombie

Geez... He makes it look so EASY and fun...

Now, you’re not gonna believe me, but I SWEAR I’m not complaining. Seriously. Just explaining where I’m at these days. Setting the stage, painting the backdrop, giving you some context. I REALLY do try not to complain because as I said, I know it could be way worse and I really am grateful for the good things I DO have and if this is the price for those things and people, I’ll do it again and again.

But do you see what I mean? Some might say, you don’t shower every day? You don’t brush your teeth regularly? But in my mind and body, I’m just too tired and don’t have time. Last year I broke two back molars in half chewing on gum. Yup, gum. And I lived with that for 6 months because I couldn’t get them fixed because I didn’t have insurance because I didn’t have a job. Seems like a legitimate reason versus a lame excuse.

But I know other people who are going to school full time, while working 2 jobs who seldom see their family let alone get time to play with them. Making do with less and seemingly more put-together than I am. So am I just making excuses then? I mean, have you SEEN this kid?!

Now, I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others. I know everyone’s got their own challenges and I should only compare myself to the best version of myself. But that’s just the thing. I AM comparing myself to myself. And I’m not even CLOSE.

It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with life. It’s not that I just want more money (though that couldn’t hurt) or a bigger house or power or fame. I really only want enough to care for my family and some extra to help others out. It’s more of a discontent with who I am as a person. I’m not as nice as I’d like to be. I’m not as skilled as I’d like to be. I’m not as humble as I’d like to be. The list goes on... Literally. I have a list. A back log of ideas I want to try, things I want to learn, skills I want to have and put to use, people I want to help.

Basically, I have bad health, bad financial situation, no career, super awesome self esteem, fragile mental health, and not much of a social life.

Sooooo... So so SO!

I’m changing. This WAS me.

I’m on a journey to finally achieve everything I’ve been putting off and become the best version of me. And I hope you’ll join me on the trip because I hope to learn from all this and I hope that someone somewhere can learn something as well. Even if that’s what NOT to do (Hey man, if it helps SOMEbody, I consider it a success and worth any effort).

So, follow along. I’ll share what I can along the way. And make sure to let me know how I can help you achieve YOUR goals too! Until later!

#25by35 #In The Beginning #Fresh Start #Goals #FixTheDisconnect

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gravity-falls-musical-official · 7 years

Text

Complete Lyrics

Oh boy. All the lyrics to every song that has been written. Here we go.

Tag list: @somer-joure @kerbabbles @atomicspaghetti (AtomicSpaghetti, your young Ford and Stan contribution was recycled and incorporated into the Tale of Two Stans song)

SURVIVE THE SUMMER

D: Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, relaxation, and takin’ her easy with family. Unless you’re me. My name is Dipper Pines-

M: Oh my GOSH! Look at all the grass! I didn’t know Gravity Falls had this much grass- OH MY GOSH A GOAT!

D: That was my twin sister, Mabel, and we’re about to have the worst summer ever.

D: A few days ago, Our parents shipped us up here, Now we’re stuck in some lumberjack town Called Gravity Falls.

M: Look at all of the trees, And all the boys-

D: Mabel.

M: What?

D: Right now I can’t think! How will we survive the summer?

GS: Hey! What’re you two doing? I don’t pay you to stand around all day.

M: You don’t pay us at all.

GS: Touche.

D: That’s our Grunkle Stan. He makes us work in his cheesy tourist attraction called “The Mystery Shack.”

GS: No refunds!

D: Now some would say that this is horrific, but it’s not so bad.

W: Hey dudes. How’s it going?

D: Wendy, Wendy Corduroy, Red haired, Friendly Corduroy, I love Wendy Corduroy, It’s true! But it’d be best if she never knew.

D: She has a boyfriend, after all. Robbie: as edgy and terrible as his music.

M: But on the bright side, I got a pig! Waddles! I named him that because he waddles.

GS: Hey, you. Go put up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.

D: What? But Grunkle Stan, I-

GS: What, are you “scared”? Ha!

D: Fine [Pause] Stupid Grunkle Stan, making me put up signs in the- what’s this? A journal? Suddenly our lives were upside down!

M: Gnomes!

D: Zombies!

M: Mermen!

D: Mysteries abound! This Journal 3 I’ve found, Is the answer I’ve been looking for.

D+M: Now we finally know, We can survive the summer! We will dare, Go anywhere, Uncover any more monsters.

D: The journal says “trust no one,”

M: But we can still have some fun!

D+M: This town is not what it seems.

D: Write down all that I’ve seen!

D+M: A summer full of mystery, Right here in Gravity Falls!

JUST A WIDDLE LOVE SONG

Gideon: This is just a widdle love song, It’s the kind of thing I do, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I made it just for you. So Mabe-y baby stay and listen, Cause this song is overdue, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I just gotta say that Mabel, I love you! Every morning, when I wake up, I think of you, and the whole world seems to light up! And when the night comes, if I’m feeling sad again, I think of you, and wonder what you’ve been doin’!

This is just a widdle love song, It’s the kind of thing I do, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I made it just for you. So Mabe-y baby stay and listen, Cause this song is overdue, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I just gotta say that Mabel, I love you!

NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW THE TRUTH

Stan: Nobody wants to know the truth. Nobody wants to know what’s real, what’s wrong, what’s fake— They wanna be fooled. Nobody really wants to see The seams and the snares, Hey, kid, they just don’t care. Ya distract ‘em and they’ll give ya green. Nobody wants to look too close. Nobody wants to read the fine print, give 'em the bold and they’re already sold. And nobody’s really all that brave, What’s true is too much for these rubes but a touch Of a sham and they’ll rant, hey they’ll rave. It’s easy as pie. It’s easy as just Two lies for a laugh, And then prevaricate to give 'em a fright. Then tapdance 'round the background—they’ll doubt if your story’s too tight. Ya just suggest. They’ll make up the rest themselves. Just wait and see. You’ll confuse 'em You’ll always ruse 'em Because… Nobody wants to be the dupe. Nobody wants to know the truth Is what they avoid or admit they’ve been fooled. Everybody’s happy to pretend Just to keep living. Pretend’s what I’m giving, Oh, watch me work Watch me give it right down to the end. Hey ma'am? Customer 1: Yeah, sir? Stan: I can carry that wallet. Looks heavy. Hey, sir? Sir, Look here, Yeah, I’d call this a deal Customer 2: It’s a steal! Stan: There’s appeal in befuddlements Packaged and pricetagged so low, Had ya any sense— Customer 2: Sold! Stan: So, kid, you ask my why I do the things that I do. Did you hear the clink of the cash in the drawer? Do I gotta rehash just what it’s all for? (Pause) Nobody wants to know the truth. Nobody wants to know 'bout petty crime or misspent youth, Or who was wrong, And who was right, Or why old men don’t sleep at night. Nobody needs to know.

THE AUTHOR

Dipper: He’ll be amazing, He’ll be fantastic, Like a hero from a movie-

Mabel: It sounds like he’s made of plastic! D: He’ll be brilliant, He’ll be clever, He’ll be everything I’ve ever dreamed or ever hoped to be. D: I bet he’s been to lands untold! M: I bet he’s a million years old! I bet his voice cracks when he’s stressed! D: I bet his every breath puffs up his chest! M: I bet he knows every secret. D: If there’s one he doesn’t know, he’ll seek it. I bet he has a sweeping cape- M: Wait, Dipper, what if we made a mistake? What if he’s dead? D: What? M: What if he’s- D: No, that can’t be- M: The entry here dates ‘73. D: Mabel, that’s short for 1973, not 73 AD. But even if he is old, He’s still amazing, M: He’s still fantastic, D+M: Like a hero from a movie, Definitely cliche-classic. He’ll be brilliant, He’ll be clever.

D: We’ll find him soon together. M: You and me, there’s nothing better! D+M: You and me, and me and you, We’ll find him, the Author!

LET’S MAKE A DEAL

Bill: Ah, Gravity Falls! In color, even! Fancy. Man, it’s good to be back! You have no idea how long I was stuck in the nightmare dimension, kid.

Gideon: Listen Cipher!

Bill: Oh goodness, was I babbling?

Gideon: I have a job for you!

Bill: Ahh... Let’s...make...a...deal!

Gideon: A deal?

B: It’s getting real!

Gideon: What on earth?

B: See when you say those words, I focus on you little nerds! Let’s make a deal!

Gideon: You said that.

B: Bear through my spiel, And you could be anything you want Just agree to my terms and I won’t taunt Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a...deal!

Bill: So, wha’d’ya want, Gids? Infinite power? Money? Deer teeth?

Gideon: No! I want you to break into the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe.

Bill: Well. Mindscape invasion, Though it’s fun, it’s evasion, Of the law if I do it for you. It’s a tricky business and I’ve got a lot of plans, So hush up kid and listen, cause I have got my own demands... A little something in the works, Not disastrous, not mean, I’ve just been trapped in a decaying dimension while plotting my schemes. Now I’m not the type of Dorito that likes to lie to guys like you, You seem smart so I won’t waste time on you. If you help me out, then I’ll steal the code. Do we have a deal?

Gideon: Agreed.

B: We...have...a...deal!

Gideon: A deal!

B: It just got real!

Gideon: Oh yes!

B: See when you say those words, I focus on you little nerds! Let’s make a deal!

Gideon: You said that.

B: Bear through my spiel, Remember no tricksies cause I’ll EAT YOUR SOUL THEN WE’RE DONE! Play by the rules and you and I will be the best of chums! We have a deal!

Gideon: We have a deal!

B: We have a deal!

B+G: We have a...deal!

LET’S MAKE A DEAL - REPRISE

Bill: Well well well! Got yourself a problem, don’t cha Pinetree?

Dipper: You again! What are you doing here!

Bill: Just coming round to offer my assistance. You know, I can be quite helpful if-

Dipper: What?! No! I’d never trust you.

Bill: Slow down, kid! Just think about it.

B: Let’s...make...a...deal!

Dipper: A deal?

B: A bargain meal!

Dipper: I’m gonna be sick.

B: See when you say those words, I focus on you little nerds! Let’s make a deal!

Dipper: GO AWAY.

B: Bear through my spiel, And you could be anything you want Just agree to my terms and I won’t taunt Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a...deal!

Dipper: No. Get away from me.

Bill: Ouch. Suit yourself, kid. I’ll be back, and my price is gonna be something MUCH STEEPER.

JUST A PUPPET

Bill: All I want is a puppet, Maybe one with googly eyes, (side note: is googly a word...?) Just a little puppet, Why is that such a surprise? All my life I’ve been waiting, For the chance to have one be Mine, tell me, and be honest, Can you spare one just for me? Dipper: I dunno, Mabel worked really hard on these- B: Don’t you want those answers? I can tell you anything, And all I want, all I want, Is a puppet! D: Just one? B: For everything. B: So what d’ya say, Pine Tree? Do we have a deal?

D: Deal. So, what puppet are you going to pick, anyways?

B: Let’s see. Eeny, meeny, miney, YOU.

Tell me Pine Tree, Did you think that I’d be without plans? A second agenda, With my own goals, And now, strike up the band!

We have a deal! Here’s the reveal... You’re my puppet until I find and burn that third journal! So just sit tight and rest assured it’s nothing personal!

B: Hahaha! We have a deal!

D: No no no no no! Stop!

B: We have a deal!

D: The laptop! B: Your fate is sealed. Hahahahahaha!

I TRUST YOU

[TO BE WRITTEN]

THE TALE OF TWO STANS

Ford: I suppose we should start at the beginning, then. Stan: 1960-something, Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. Young Stan: Hey, Sixer? Young Ford: What? YS: Are you sleeping? YF: Yes. YS: You're such a liar! I can hear Your nerdy little voice Loud and clear In my ear! YF: Sometimes I wish you'd just disappear. YS: No you don't. YF: Goodnight. (Pause) YS: Hey, Fordsy. YF: Ugh! Go to bed, Stan! YS: No! I'm not tired and I say, This is the best time of the day For adventure. C'mon let's go and play! YF: Why? We did that all day. Go away! YS: Hey! We could be pirates sailing far, Across seven seas under the stars, Or maybe soldiers in a galactic war, C'mon Sixer, what are you waiting for? The night is ours, Use your head. We could make a huge blanket fort on your bed, And pretend to be knights saving pretty ladies- YF: School's tomorrow are you crazy? YS: Maybe! We can save the world from supernatural threats! Slaying mighty dragons without breaking a sweat! Finding buried treasure and diamonds and rubies, C'mon Sixer, why won't you play with me? Aliens, monsters, They'll all quake in fear, When they hear that the Pines twins are near! Dashing, charming, and handsome too! YF: Please be quiet - mom and dad will kill you! YS: Think about this, Just you and me! Our future right there for the taking. A story book fairy tale just opened up And it's written just for us. Stanford why are we waiting? Can't you see? The world is full Of new things to find, days for seizing, I'll punch my way out of anything. And I know you've got my back. Sixer, I'm not teasing. You and me! YF: You and I. YS: Side by side, Together? YF: Together. BOTH: Forever and ever, I'll never leave you behind! MA PINES: Boys! It's way past your bedtime! If I come up there and find that you've made a mess...! S: Those were the days, huh, Sixer? F: High school followed a few years later, and my future began to look bright. TEACHER: Mr. and Mrs. Pines, welcome. We need to talk about your son, Stanford. Stanley is waiting outside, but we'll get to him later. MA PINES: What's happened? Has Stanley spray painted the girls' locker room black, again? TEACHER: Yes, but that's not the point. Your son Stanford... He's a genius! A straight "A" genius! All the staff is going crazy Over his new project. Mr. Pines, he's great! You should be proud! Some college administrators Will be visiting tomorrow. I am almost certain That Stanford stands a chance with them. MA PINES: What about my Stanley? TEACHER: Miss, fast food restaurants were started for one purpose: to give jocks like Stanley a job. Look at the bright side, he'll always be nearby. (Pause) Teen Stan: Ha! Like you'd want to go to college. Ha! Like you'd leave me behind. All for the "pursuit of knowledge," Jokes on them: we're staying side by side. Teen Ford: You know what, Stan, I've been thinking. This is a huge break for me. I could actually do something with my life, Just you wait and see! Tomorrow decides my fate, Tomorrow seals the deal. That project decides my fate, But I know when that man walks in, he'll- Give me a scholarship, Make me an offer. TS: But what about us? Our hunting for coffers? TF: It can wait. TF: I'll make you a deal, Stanley. If I don't get a scholarship, then I'll do the treasure-hunting thing with you. Deal? TS: (Pause) Alright. (Pause) TS: What about me, huh? What'll I do? All of my plans Were banking on you, Being there with me. But those plans I'll never see! All because of a stupid project, I've been pushed aside like a dusty old object And like THAT suddenly my future is gone! (Machine breaks) TS: Oh no, no please! Okay...okay. Fixed it. Good as new. (Pause) TF: Today decides my fate, Today seals the deal. That project decides my fate, But I know when that man walks in, he'll MAN: Son, your machine's broken. TF: What?! No, no! It was working just yesterday- MAN: I think I'm done here. TF: (Pause) STAN! TS: Hey, Sixer! How'd it go? TF: It didn't "go" at all! My project was broken, Stanley. And guess what I found next to it! TS: Okay, so...maybe I hit it. But hey, there's a silver lining! Eh? Treasure hunting? TF: Are you kidding me? Why would I want to do ANYTHING with you? You ruined my future! FILBRICK PINES: You did what, you knucklehead? Get out of my house, Get out of this place! You tiny louse, Find some other space! FILBRICK: And don't come back! TS: What? Wait! Sixer, don't let him do this? High six? (Pause) TS: Fine! I don't need you, I don't need a home, I hate every one of you. Someday I'll be famous, And on that day you'll see, The name "Stanley Pines" on every billboard, And you'll remember me! No I won't be coming back! Not even if you beg me! Look at everything you'll lack, Now that I'm gone, you'll see. So bye! Ciao! See ya! And one thing overdue: Ford, I know your listening, I hope you're happy with the future you lose! (Pause) S: So...I decided to do the treasure-hunting thing. Turns out that gold is some kind of "rare metal." I struck gold elsewhere, though: in sales! Adult Stan: Hello my name is Stanley Pines! Are you sick of band-AIDS that won't come off? You need the RIP-OFF! It comes off easy! RIP-OFF! Trust me, I ain't sleazy. When I say it comes off, it comes off! S: The problem was: it didn't stay ON. Needless to say... It ended badly. But with a quick name change, Steve Pinington was ready to take on New York. AS: Hello my name is Steve Pinington! Are you sick of stains that won't come out? You need the SHAM! It makes it easy! The SHAM! Trust me, I ain't sleazy. When I say it won't give you rashes- S: It gave you rashes. And that's how I began - and that's why I'm banned from 43 states. F: Meanwhile, I had to go to my...second choice college. DEAN: Welcome, students, To Backupsmore. We weren't your first choice, But there's more! We make up for what we lack in mostly bug-free dorms! F: I had to work twice as hard for my degree, but luckily for me, that's what I do best. I soon graduated with 12 PhD's and was awarded a grant for my research, but what to study? Adult Ford: All my life I've been teased, For my hands, my abnormality. Six fingers on each hand, Excluded from group activities. Maybe there's a reason, Maybe there's a place, Filled up with superstition, Sightings. Just a trace, Is all I need to go on. Aha! That's it! I'll study the paranormal, And of sightings, just a minute, There it is, I knew it! In Oregon's countryside, There's a town called Gravity Falls, Where folks say monsters hide. F: I set off at once and started my research. I began to keep a journal- Dipper: AHHHHH THE JOURNALS!!! (Pause) D: Sorry, I just...keep going. F: Right. Well, my research led me to...an interesting circumstance. S: Meanwhile for me, life was great. Everything was going smoothly. (Door knocks) AS: Hold on, Horace! I told you once already. We sorted this out- You gave me a week to- AS: A postcard? (Pause) AS: Calm down, Stanley, breathe. It's only been ten years, Plus, he's your brother. It's not like he'll- AF: HALT. HAVE YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES?! (Pause) AS: Great to see you too. AF: Stanley. Quickly - inside. AS: Did you build this? AF: Yes, but Stanley, I need you to listen to me. Take this journal, Keep it safe. Promise me, You'll keep it safe! AS: Alright, alright. AF: Do you remember our plans? Our plans to search for treasure? To sail across the seven seas, The world's width to measure? AS: Yeah- AF: Take this, and sail far away with it. AS: You're kidding! That's it? All this way- You must be SICK. Ten years, I haven't seen you! Ten years, I thought it'd be- Forget this. Forget you! I'll just burn this book and leave- AF: No! My research! AS: Get off of me- AH! AF: Stanley! No, oh god- OOF! AS: Some brother you turned out to be. AF: Stanley...Stanley! AS: What's going on?! AF: Help me, Stanley! Help me...! AS: No. No! You can't take him, I just got him back! S: I stayed down there for days, trying to get that thing to work. Eventually, I had to go out for food. (Pause) Lazy Susan: Hey, aren't you that researcher in the woods? Manly Dan: Whatcha been doin' up there, bro? AS: Oh, nothing much... LS: I'd pay anything to see what's in that "mystery shack" of yours! AS: Pay? Money? S: And so, the Mystery Shack was started. I'd spend my days upstairs, selling cheap oddities and museum tours. But at night, I was back in the basement, working on getting the Portal to work again.

THE AUTHOR - REPRISE

Dipper: He’s amazing, He’s fantastic, Like a hero from a movie, And he’s living in our basement!

He is brilliant, He is clever, He is everything I’ve ever dreamed, And ever hoped to be!

Stan: Kid, you’ve got your facts twisted around.

S: He cares for nothing but himself, The only reason why he ever does anything is to get trophies on shelves, He wants to go down in history, A statue in gold, over billions sold, and the world, the world at his feet.

D: No! If he’s as selfish as you say,

S: Oh, you bet he is.

D: Then why have you for the past thirty years worked on that portal for every day You could’ve taken your things and left,

S: Kid…

D: But you stayed here working, with monsters still lurking, and you turned away from theft!

S: That’s enough! There are some things that kids like you just can’t understand.

D: But Grunkle Stan-!

S: I said THAT’S ENOUGH! And stay away from my brother.

TRUST NO ONE

Ford: Take this back, this path of choices, I didn’t mean for this at all. I shook his hand, “show me your way,” And here I stand, on Judgment Day, Waiting, mere hours ‘til Earth’s curtain call.

I never should have trusted him, why did I? He who only watches with a single eye? I thought the dream was pure, But not I’m not so sure. It’s too late to change, just repeat that line.

When I try to sleep, it’s in my head, All burning broken desolate and dead, But there’s nothing I can do, He planned this out, he knew, That I’d have no where to turn after the fall. Besides, who could help me? Who who try? Everything is lost and I trust no one.

APPRENTICE

Ford: Dipper, can’t you see? You are so much like me, Can it be, that you were meant for something more? Your future’s right in front of you, I’m opening a door. Be my apprentice, Dipper, You don’t want to miss this, Dipper, You and me, we’ll take the world by storm! Just you and I together, We’ll change this world forever, Stick with me, we’ll be mystery defined, Just Dipper and Stanford Pines. Dipper: But what about school?

F: I’ll teaching you everything. D: What about my friends? F: Casualties for progress.

D: What about my parents? F: They’ll be thrilled!

D: What about Mabel?

F: She’ll be fine on her own. Twins have an understated ability to...move on.

D: I don’t know... We’ve never really been apart before.

F: Isn’t it suffocating? Haven’t you wanted to do something with your life? This is your chance!

Be my apprentice, Dipper, You don’t want to miss this, Dipper, You and me, we’ll take the world by storm! Just you and I together, We’ll change this world forever, Stick with me, we’ll be mystery defined-

D: Great Uncle Ford!

GROWING UP

Soos: Whoa, dude! Slow down! Mabel: Oh my gosh! We could have the party HERE! Stan: Ha! No. Knowing you two, you'll probably raise the dead or somethin'. Not in my house! Soos: Hey dude! You could try the gym - it'd be a great place for your party. Mabel: That's a great idea, Soos! Let's go! I'm growing up, There's no need for babysitters, I'm old enough! I'm growing up, Drop the "pre" in preteen, high school here I come! In just a couple days, I'll be older, In so many ways. No turning back, now, Look out world, I'm growing up! Mabel: Whoa, what is everyone doing at school for the summer? Soos: I dunno, dude. I thought it was gonna be empty. Wendy: Hey! Mabel! Mabel: Wendy? You're here too? Wendy: Yeah. Everybody's here signing up for next year stuff. Mabel: This is great! I'm going to be in high school next-next year. Do you have any tips? Wendy: Don't try to grow up too fast. Mabel: What? Wendy: Listen, let me be honest, High. School. Sucks. Everybody's angry, Covered with acne, Drama's always everywhere, Boys like you based on your hair. Robbie: Hormones! Tambry: Taxes! Thompson: College! Nate: Jobs! Ensemble: Only four years to endure, But it's like death, you can be sure! Hey! Whoo! Sit down! Get to class! Detention! Wendy: When you grow up, There's no more crying, No more relaxing, Everyone's lying. You can't wake up, This is the nightmare That is high school Ensemble: High school! Wendy: Anyway. Whatcha doin' here? Mabel: Oh, you know, just...planning my thirteenth birthday party. Wendy: Cool. Can I come? Mabel: Sure. Soos: C'mon, dude. We have to deliver your invitations. Mabel: Oh yeah! I'm growing up, PG-13 movies, yeah, I'm old enough! I'm growing up, Sure there's high school soon but I can finally fall in love! In just a couple days, I'll be older, In so many ways. No turning back, now, Look out world, I'm growing up! Mabel: Candy! Grenda! Candy: Hello Mabel. Grenda: Heyyy. Mabel: You're not gonna believe...THIS! Grenda: What? You're birthday party's on the last day of summer? But I'm going on vacation with my boyfriend! Mabel: What? No! Candy, you can still come, right? Candy: Sorry, Mabel. My parents send me to music camp this time of year. There is no escape from music camp. Grenda: Sorry we can't come. Candy: We're going to miss you! Soos: Dude? Are you okay? Mabel: I'm growing up, Summer's ending soon, my friends are leaving. Feels like I'm doomed, But you know what? The sun's still shining through! In just a couple days, I'll be older, In so many ways. No turning back, now, Look out world- Ford: Be my apprentice, Dipper You don't want to miss this, Dipper Mabel: No... I'm growing up, I can't be a kid, anymore. I'm growing up, Why did everything turn out so poorly? In just a couple days, I'll leave my brother, I'm out of control. No turning back, now, Look out Mabel, You're growing up...

APPRENTICE - REPRISE

Ford: See Dipper? This is what I mean…. Can you look in the mirror and follow your dream? You’re a kid unlike any I’ve known! Whose bravery and knowledge have always brightly shown Will you be my apprentice Dipper? You sure don’t wanna miss this, Dipper.

Dipper: I’ll do it!

F: You’ll do it? Oh that’s wonderful my boy!

D: I’m meant for so much more!

D+F: You and me, we’ll take the world by storm! Just you and I together We’ll change this world forever!

F: Stick with me! We’ll be mystery defined, D+F: Just Dipper and Stanford Pines.

FANTASY VS. REALITY

[TO BE WRITTEN]

WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE

Stan: Can this be real? Can you hear how I feel? Are you sleeping, or is it pretend? I don’t think you know That for this battered soul, You’re the world, mid, beginning, and end. Ya know, sometimes I think I’m dreaming. Please tell me how I could have known That after those years Of heartache and tears I’d be here, with so much to lose. What could I have done To deserve to have someone Love me the way that you do? What I wouldn’t give— Had I another chance to live, I’d trade it all Just to keep both of you.

SURVIVE THE SUMMER - REPRISE

D: A few days ago, Bill took over the town, Now we're stuck here, And there is no way out. M: I can't believe this happened. It's all my fault- D: What? Mabel- M: I can't figure out a way BOTH: To survive the summer.

TAKE BACK THE FALLS

M: We have an idea!

S: Mabel? What are you doing up?

D: We know how we can defeat Bill!

D: We’ll need smarts!

M: And sweaters!

D: We’ll work in any kind of weather.

M: Cause we can do it if we work together-

S: What are you kids talking about?

M: Just listen!

D: Before Bill burned the journals, Grunkle Ford started to say, That Bill has a weakness! Now we know there’s a way!

M: So all we have to do, Is bust in and rescue Ford. Then he can help us beat Bill, We just gotta work to

D+M: Take back the Falls!

D: With your inventions and skill.

D+M: Take back the Falls!

M: By the end of this you bet we will! We just have to start with this house, Tell us, you guys, you in or out?

S: You kids need to go back to bed, you’re obviously sick in the head or something’.

M: Grunkle Stan, Bill has your brother. You can’t let him go, you just got him back!

D: We can do this.

Wendy: I’m in.

Soos: Me too!

Fiddleford: Me three!

Ensemble: Take back the Falls! With our inventions and skill. Take back the Falls! By the end of this you bet we will! And that one-eyed evil, Won’t see us now, take back the falls! With our inventions and skill. Take back the Falls! By the end of this you bet we will! No more running, and hiding, We’re done! Take back the Falls!

M: Grunkle Stan, why aren’t you helping?

S: Me, rescue my brother again? Ha, no. What’s the point? He’s dead to me either way.

()

Ford: Let him go you- what?

Bill: Hiya Fordsy. You have a nice nap?

F: Where am I?

B: The Fearamid. Like it? I think it’s snazzy. Have a seat!

F: What are you laughing at?

B: After all this time, you still don’t recognize a flesh couch, do you?

F: Agh! () What do you want, Bill?

B: You know that forcefield thing?

F: What forcefield thing?

B: There’s something that’s stopping my Weirdmageddon from getting released to the masses.

F: Gravity Falls’ Law of Weirdness Magnetism, yes I know it.

B: How do I get rid of it?

F: I’ll never tell you.

B: Then I’ll just have to make you tell me.

F: AH!

()

WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE - REPRISE

Ford: What could I have done To deserve to have someone Love me the way that you do? What I wouldn’t give For another chance to live! I’d give it a-all….

GROWING UP - REPRISE

M: We're growing up, Now the summer's ending, Soon it will be fall. D: We're growing up, Turn our backs on this town, Bye Gravity Falls. S: Now you're both older- F: And smarter, but don't lose heart. S: Promise we'll be back to visit, M+D: Promise we'll be back to visit. W: See ya when you come to visit. M: Waddles? I...I told you, mom and dad won't let me bring a pig home. You can't come. S: Forget what they said! Hey, driver! This pig is going with the kids, you hear me? DRIVER: Now wait just a minute- Uh, I mean, welcome aboard, pig. W: Hey, Dipper. Come back soon, okay? CANDY: Bye Mabel! GRENDA: We'll miss you! SOOS: See ya, little dudes. F: Goodbye, Dipper and Mabel. It was a pleasure to be able to meet you. (Brief pause) S: Kids, you knuckleheads were nothing but a nuisance and I'm glad to be rid of ya. (Pause) M: We'll miss you, Grunkle Stan. (Pause) D: Ready to head into the Unknown? M: Nope. Let's do it. D: So, if you're ever taking a road trip in the Pacific Northwest, look out for a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods...waiting.

#holy crap I'm dead #lyrics

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vampireasterisk · 8 years

Text

Gravity Falls Hijack AU Chapter 3

Part three of this ongoing series I’ve been working on. It’s been eight months since I wrote the last part but hey enjoy i guess. Hopefully the next part wont take another eight months lol

"Hiccup, breakfast is ready!"

Somehow, those simple words rose Hiccup from the realm of sleep. With that weird aftertaste in his mouth and disheveled hair and grogginess, Hiccup woke up and stretched and yawned loudly, idly scratching his back before he started to gather his surroundings. Still half-asleep, Hiccup groped around for his prosthetic and snapped it on with practiced easiness and then stood up from his bed, only to be woken up fully by the sound of something falling down in front of his feet. One quick glance told him he had dropped the Number 3 Journal; apparently, he had fallen asleep reading it, again.

Groaning to himself, Hiccup picked up the book and glanced meaningfully at the tattered cover leather and the golden six fingered hand with a 3 on it. He still couldn't believe he was holding something like this on his hands, he couldn't come to terms with the fact that there was real, paranormal stuff out there. That magic and fantasy was real. And that someone had documented all of these things in secret.

And yet, even this book wasn't completely forthcoming with answers. Amidst the pages and pages of entries there were some littered with codes and ciphers, some of the pages being fully written in this way. He had tried decoding some of it last night, but without the key to the cipher that was pretty much impossible right now. He would have to dedicate more time in order to crack the code... but not today.

Today, he had something else to do.

Getting ready, Hiccup put on a forest green t-shirt with a red skull on its chest, and some khaki cargo shorts, while also packing up a change of clothes and the journal in a small duffel bag. He was gonna need those for what he had in mind today.

Some moments later and Hiccup was walking into the living room downstairs, where the table was set with breakfast ready. Hiccup's favorite, chicken and waffles, was beckoning to him, but before he started to dig in, he spoke up:

"Morning mom, dad!"

Stoick, Berk's police chief and after mentioned father, lowered his paper and stared at Hiccup from across the table with a teasing glint in his eye. "Oi, looks like sleeping beauty finally rose from the dead."

"It's... nice to hear compliments to my appearance. Especially since I feel like I had the opposite of a beauty rest." Answered Hiccup with a chuckle.

"Did you stay up reading again?', asked Valka, Hiccup's mom and forest ranger of the Gravity Falls Nature Association.

"You know me too well.", said Hiccup with a smile before he started to dig in with haste.

"If ya keep that up you're gonna end up looking like a raccoon.", said Stoick as he too began to eat his food, just as Valka came to the table carrying her own stack of pancakes.

"A raccoon with a robotics degree at that!", said Valka, with a pride on her voice so palpable it could be felt on the room like a third person.

"That's just a maybe, y'know... not set in stone.", said Hiccup, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. Sure, he had pursued a robotics degree in high school. There was nothing he wasn't more passionate about (aside from dragons, mysteries, and Jack), he felt right at home building robots and machines and he had a talent for that too! So when his teachers saw the skill he had, they immediately convinced him to apply to Harvard, stating he was good enough to get a scholarship or two.

Hiccup applied but he didn't really have any expectations of getting in.

"It may be more set in stone than you think, my boy.", said Stoick, suddenly joining in the parenthood pride Olympics with a big grin under his massive beard. With a swiftness that you wouldn't expect from a man his size, he tossed Hiccup an envelope from Harvard. Ripping it open and giving it a quick glance-over, Hiccup quickly understood the mood of his parents.

"N-no way... they're actually interested in my stuff?", he mumbled, his voice a whisper with a sliver of excitement and disbelief.

The smile on Stoick's face was so broad it was easily visible through his beard. You could say there was liquid happiness on Valka's eyes. Hiccup once more stared dumbly at the letter on his hands and the more he stared at it, the more a bubble of excitement started to rise on the pit of his stomach.

All those years... all those years of perfecting his craft, being made fun of for being a nerd, were finally starting to pay off.

"...I'm going to Harvard... I'm going to Harvard!!!", he shouted, a wide smile on his face. "Me! A guy from the sticks!!"

"Now now...", said Stoick, still smiling fondly, "It's not completely set in stone... yet. Don't get too excited... haha!", he said that but he couldn't fight the excitement either.

"I'm so proud of you, Hiccup!", said Valka as she gave him a tight hug. "And look, they even said they're gonna send a letter soon! You're practically in!" She finished as she gazed at the letter on the freckled teen's hand.

"I... I cannot believe this...", he said once more. This was the best day of his life and it wasn't even noon yet. He was happy beyond words. He... he was going somewhere in life! He really was. And all he did was be a huge nerd!

This day could only get better and better, he felt. And he hadn't even started it. That's right! He had stuff to do still with his friends today! He had to make Jack's heartfelt gift and considering the text he got yesterday while playing videogames with Jack (and winning), he had the perfect plan... though he still wondered why Jack agreed to these plans to begin with, all things considered.

Finishing his food, Hiccup stood up, washed his dishes and gave his mom a quick peck on the cheek and a hug to Stoick and waved good bye, a spring in his step that the other two hadn't seen in quite a while.

As the door closed after his son left, Valka leaned on his husband, a fond smile on her lips. "He's really come a long way since the accident, hasn't it?"

Stoick nodded solemnly. "Ya, he has.", he paused thoughtfully, and with a grunt, he continued. "And to think we have to thank that Jack kid for helpin' him along..."

"Yes, we do.", agreed Valka, the thankfulness in her voice slipping in a little. That white haired goofball had done a lot for her family as far as she was concerned.

A small lull of silence passed between the two before she spoke up, with a hint of laughter in her sentences. "So... when do you think Hiccup is gonna tell him?"

Stoick sighed. "I donno, but the boy has certainly been takin' his time. He better make up his darn mind before some girl sweeps that Jack kid away."

"I don't think Jack would do that, the way he looks at our son... I do wonder if he has realized his feelings though...", commented Valka, her voice trailing off with wonder.

Stoick sighed once more. "And to think I hoped for grandchildren... Guess we gotta deal with the card we are given, huh?"

At that comment, Valka punched him lightly on the shoulder, the bigger man breaking out laughing and say "I kid, I kid!" In between breaths.

=====

"So, are you gonna ever tell us why in Black Shuck's name are you wearin' a t-shirt with a hole in ya chest?", asked Merida as she stared at Jack who, like the rest of the people there, was in a normal swimming ensemble... all except for the light blue tank top with a massive hole in the front.

Jack looked completely unconcerned, a bright smile on his face as he answered. "Isn't it obvious?", he then proceeded to flex in front of her. "So that people can see my awesome physique! Y'know, sate their curiosity before I even take off my shirt?"

Rapunzel giggled and Merida rolled her eyes before poking Jack's belly, making the white haired teen wince and laugh, breaking out from his flexing pose. "Yeah right, Jack. Can't keep 'em fans wondering how many freezey pops you ate to achieve that impressive gut."

"I take great offense at the fact that you're insinuating I have a gut!", said Jack, pouting a little, while Merida, completely unphazed, kept going with a sly smile.

"I'm not implyin' anythin'. I'm sayin' you have one."

Before Jack could reply to her, Rapunzel spoke up.

"So, why is your shirt like that?", asked the blonde as she readjusted her mint green tote bag with a chameleon stamp.

"Did you lose a bet against Hiccup again?", asked Merida, her smile growing into teasing proportions.

Although the blush on Jack's face was telling, his answer never came because said brunet came up to them, a smile on his face despite the sweat collecting on his brow.

"Heya! You guys ready?", he asked as he settled the duffel bag in a more comfortable position. And as he did he was greeted by the sight of his smiling friends and... a sight he regretted causing. Why did he agree to Jack's dumb bet? Now he had to deal with the fact that he was being taunted by the sight of his crush's bare torso. He wished the week ended already so the effects of that bet were done and dealt with... but today's activities would probably leave him a haunting image. Well, looks like Hiccup was gonna have material for relieving himself tonig- FOCUS HADDOCK!

"Yup!", said Jack as he adjusted the platypus float tube around his waist. "I'm ready to be crowned King of the Pool!"

"Maybe of the kiddie pool...", mumbled Merida to Rapunzel, who giggled.

Hiccup kept looking at Jack, but this time not with lust but with worry and wonder. "Y'know... Jack... Why did you even agree to this? You can't swim so...", his eyes wandered to the float tube on the white haired teen's waist.

"Well, we humans can't fly and we still go on airplanes!", said Jack as if that made the most remote amount of sense.

"But... Jack...", interjected Rapunzel, looking worried too. "Hiccup has a point... you can't swim and you've never agreed to come with us ever before... ever since that time... so why...?"

Jack's smile faltered a little, for just a second, but Hiccup noticed even if the others didn't, before he answered with renewed enthusiasm. "Well, I thought it would be nice for a change to shake things up! And it's never too late to learn how to swim right? I'd bet it would be tons of fun!"

For some reason, Hiccup didn't think that was the real motivation behind this abrupt decision. That faltering smile he saw... made the brunet wonder if the real reason why he had decided to learn how to swim was because of that incident... back at the lake...

But seeing Jack trying to move on, to better himself all with a smile he was surely putting up with an incredible amount of effort... Hiccup couldn't bring that up and question the white haired teen now. So instead, he smiled and gave Jack a pat on the back. With the other teen's attention on him, he said. "Yeah! And I'll..., Uh, we'll help you learn, right guys?"

"Sorry for being the bringer of bad news but I don't think that's gonna happen, guys.", said a familiar, female voice. The group of friends turned around to see Astrid walking towards them, clad in a sun hat, sunglasses, a striped tank top and green shorts and khaki sandals. Behind her came Hiro, but it didn't look like they came together as the boy had a bright expression in contrast to the sour one in Astrid's face.

"Hey guys! I'm not late aren't I?", asked the Japanese kid as they joined the group on the intersection's sidewalk in front of Rapunzel's house, the place closest to the Gravity Falls Public Pool. Hiro was already clad in his swimming outfit, wearing ladder shades and sunblock on his nose, sporting some red swimming trunks and looking really ridiculous wearing his trademark hoodie on top of his bare chest.

"You can't be late to a thing that is not happening, no.", answered Astrid with a huff.

"What are ya goin' on about, Astrid?", asked Merida to the blonde girl.

"Yeah, I thought you were gonna save us a spot at the pool and that's why you went ahead.", added Rapunzel, confused.

"Well, there's not going to be a spot for ANYONE after you see this.", said Astrid as she walked away, leading the confused group of friends towards the direction of the pool.

====

"You got to be kidding me.", said Hiccup as he and everybody else took in what they were seeing.

He had to blink once, no TWICE, to believe what he was reading. The sign that usually said "Gravity Falls Public Pool" had been torn down and over it a big neon sign with obnoxious colors and lights read "Kuzcotopia". To further cement this awful new reality, a notice had been pasted over the wired fence/slash door that led into the pool that read: "This property now belongs to Kozmotis Enterprises and is set to be demolished in the future. Entry is forbidden to any unauthorized personnel."

"I'm so gonna deck him in the face.", threatened Merida with a low growl.

"Save some from me.", said Astrid in a similar tone.

"But w-wait...", interjected Rapunzel nervously, "Maaaaybe this time it wasn't him...?"

"Oh come on!", shouted Hiro as he gestured with his hands towards the neon sign. "This has all the signs of him! The gaudy, obnoxious lighting, that stupid notice of his adoptive father's company... The name of the place!"

"Yeah... it had to have been him... Kuzco bought this place for his personal enjoyment... Again.", said Hiccup with exasperation clear in his voice.

"Did someone use my name without paying up again?"

The group turned to greet, with disgust, the after mentioned man who was as usual being carried on the back of the biggest of his lackeys, a muscular, tan man they only knew as Kronk. Accompanying them was the smarter, and older, of Kuzco's lackeys, a bitter woman named Yzma. Effortlessly jumping down from his seat that was strapped on Kronk's back, the thin 18-year old jumped down and tossed a dog treat at the muscular man as a reward. "You know the rules. You say my name, you have to pay me 5 dollars."

"Ugh, that's not even a REAL rule, Kuzco.", said Jack, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. "You made that up to swindle tourists."

"Oh yeah, I did that, didn't I?", said Kuzco with a smug smile. "Then again, since MY company owns like, what? 80 percent of Gravity Falls? I might as well be in charge of this stupid hick town and of the rules that govern it."

"Hah! Ya wish, you lousy princess!", said Merida, her temper flaring up. "My father's in charge ya know! There's no way he's handin' this town over to a diva like ya!"

"And yet, I got my hands on this here pool.", answered Kuzco in a tone mocking Merida's accent. "I guess poor Mr. Poolcheck had enough of y'all breaking the rules with impromptu water fights, huh?"

While Jack whistled nonchalantly, Hiro spoke up. "So, now what? Are you going to rebuild this in a garish, self-aggrandizing attraction styled after your image again?"

"You hit it right on the nosey, my dear Hiro!", said Kuzco with enthusiasm, soon after clapping. "Yzma, the blueprints please! And don't forget to hand out the pamphlets!"

With a roll of her eyes and a grunt, Yzma handed over a roll of paper to Kuzco and gave each of the teens a copy of a pamphlet while Kuzco explained. "After I bought the laser tag and the skating park, I realized I didn't have my own personal summer villa... so I thought... why not just buy that dumb pool and make it into something more grand! More fabulous! More... me! So I pulled some strings... did some convincing..."

"More like convincing puppy eyes to his father...", said Astrid to Merida who snickered in response.

"* AHEM* SOME convincing!", continued Kuzco, visibly annoyed, "And thus we arrive to today! Kuzcotopia will kick the sorry behind of any water park that exists on the earth, and the best part? It's not the water slide my friends, oh no... it's that it's gonna be entirely mine and only for me, me, me!"

"Sounds... great...", said Rapunzel, her face saying otherwise.

"So, what? You're gonna build a whole water park for yourself? And at the same time depriving the entire town of it?", asked Hiccup, trying to keep his outrage down but failing little by little. "And you don't even feel bad about it?"

"Hmm, let me see... in order... Yes, yes and no to your questions.", answered Kuzco, pretending to stop and think before answering curtly. "Also, just so you know, you are in private property so I'm gonna ask Kronk to make you leave. Like 10 minutes ago."

"Uh... do I really have to do that?", asked Kronk, actually looking unsure about all this.

"There's no need.", said Hiccup with a sigh, though still looking visibly angry like his friends. "Let's go guys. Let's leave Prima Donna Kuzco to his kiddie pool party."

All they could do was walk away as a smug looking Kuzco watched them, before climbing back to his seat and ordering Kronk to carry both him and Yzma back home.

===

"Well, this blows!", exclaimed Jack as he kicked a nearby empty can into the shrubbery. The dejected group of friends had walked away from the public pool sit and now were sitting around in a nearby clearing in the woods surrounding the place.

"Tell me about it!" Lamented Hiro as he pointed to his backpack, "I had packed away a ton of pool fun in this Quantum Pack of mine and now it's gone to waste! Do you know how much it took to pack all of this last night?"

"Y'know what?!", shouted Merida as she stood up, anger visible on her roundish face, "I'm gonna give that blockhead Kuzco a piece of my mind! And my fist!" "I'll help you with that!", offered Jack as he noisily cracked his knuckles, an act Merida copied gleefully.

"No, no... we are not getting in a fight with Kuzco and his croonies AGAIN.", Hiccup interjected, trying to reason with the feisty duo.

"Yeah, I had to really wrap you good in bandages after last time.", mused Rapunzel.

"You didn't have to use THAT much bandaging last time, y'know? It was just a few bruises.", said Merida, an eyebrow raised.

"Hey guys, relax! I'm as upset as you are with Kuzco but really... we're here to have fun, right? So let's do fun stuff instead!", proposed Hiccup.

"But I really wanted to go swimming, Hiccup...", said Rapunzel.

"Weelll... maybe we can still do that.", said the freckled teen as he reached into his bag, an action that garnered excited looks from Hiro and Jack, but a confused reaction from the rest of the group.

"Hiccup, what is that book?", asked Astrid as soon as she saw the red leather cover of the Journal.

"This is...", began Hiccup, giving looks to the book and Astrid, Rapunzel and Merida, "OK, remember how I always said that there was always something weird about this town, what with the feeling of being watched, seeing shadows out of the corner and that one incident with the noodles at school?"

The three girls gave him a nod.

"Well, you see...", and at once, the brunet went on and explained the book's nature and the circumstances behind its discovery. At first, the three girls were reluctant to believe the words of the freckled teen, but with Hiro and Jack supporting Hiccup's explanation, the three came around to believing him.

"So that there was the reason I was all doused in the middle o' da street with the rest of them townsfolk, en'it?", asked Merida, recalling the incident with the Pulveritum.

Hiccup nodded.

"Yeah! I remember I sniped you from like 10 feet away right in the face!", said Hiro proudly, earning him a punch in the shoulder from the red haired girl.

"It all sounds so fantastically unbelievable... and yet I can't deny it...", said Astrid, musing all the information she was just given. "It would explain that weird afternoon with the entire town waking up wet in the middle of the street, though..."

"Oooh, this is so exciting!", said Rapunzel, shaking her fists enthusiastically, "To think there is a book in Gravity Falls I haven't read yet! And full of mysteries too!"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool, right?", said Hiccup with a smile, "I just wish I could read all of it... some of its contents are encrypted with this weird cipher symbol thingie..."

"Maybe I can help!", suggested Rapunzel, almost prying the book from Hiccup's hands, a glint in her eyes. "I've read every book in the library and there were a lot of encryption methods documented there!"

"Before we turn this into the bookworm happy hour, though!", interrupted Hiro, separating Hiccup and Rapunzel with a pool noodle he had, Hiccup presumed, pulled from his Quantum Backpack, "Why did you take out the Journal, Hiccup? Do you think it can solve our current problem?"

"Oh, right!", Hiccup said, remembering the very reason why he had pulled it out of his bag. "You see, this journal has a lot of info on mysterious creatures, but It also has information on peculiar places and a map of the town. So maybe we could find a nice lake or creek to swim on, using this."

"Oh! Oh! My turn, then!", said Jack as he snatched the journal from Hiccup's hand. "It's my turn to choose today's adventure!", he declared as he went through the journal's pages at a blinding rate, leaving the freckled teen at bamboozled.

"B-b-b-but... Jack-!", began Hiccup but he was interrupted by Jack's sudden "Eureka!" Shout. While Rapunzel mumbled in the background that that wasn't how Eureka was pronounced, Jack showed the group the page he had landed on. On it was the detailed drawing of a beautiful waterfall surrounded by forests, a pristine looking lake at the bottom of the rushing water. The page's title read...

"Monotreme falls, eh?", read Merida out loud as she scanned the pages.

"Never heard of it before." Admitted Astrid, who had an interested look in her face.

"Well, it's only natural," interjected Rapunzel, "it says here on the page that the place was famous with the settlers of the town, but it was forgotten with the passage of time."

"Looks pretty, doesn't it? I bet it's the perfect place for a good swim or my middle name isn't Frost!", said Jack, positively glowing with excitement.

"Your middle name isn't Frost, Jackson Hubert Overland", said Hiccup with a set of narrowed eyes and a scowl."

"Shut it, Horrendous.", answered Jack with a deadpan tone of his own, before turning back to the other members of their group. "So, what do ya say? There's even a map to the place here, so I'd say a little trip to the Monotheme-"

"Monotreme", said Hiro.

"That", continued Jack, unperturbed. "Is in order! Who's with me?"

"But, Jack!", shouted Hiccup, looking like he had lost his composure. "We can't just go on a whim to the first place you see in there! You know very well that the things in that journal are potentially life threatening!"

"That's rich coming from the guy who thought it was a good idea to do bungee jumping with a home-made-non-complying-with-standard-safety-regulations bungee cord.", retorted Jack, unamused.

"Listen, we agreed to never bring that up again.", insisted Hiccup, index finger raised.

"Please, Hiccup!", begged the white haired teen. "This could be the chance we need to have some mad Summer fun! And it could also be the chance for me to get over my phobia of water."

"B-But...", began the brunet before being interrupted by Astrid.

"C'mon Hiccup. It's not like you to back down from adventure.", said the blonde with a smile.

"We're already carryin' around all these bloody swimming junk and we're packin em swimsuits on so why not?", insisted Merida.

"Besides! Look at this passage here!", declared Jack as he shoved said excerpt of the book in Hiccup's face. Green eyes scanned the pages. Hiccup found what Jack was referring to at the very bottom of the page.

"Aside from the rather innocuous nomenclature and secluded location from civilization, the Monotreme Falls are a rather picturesque location, perfect for relaxation and perhaps some cavorting and swimming."

With a sigh, Hiccup took his eyes from off the Journal and looked at the expectant group of friends. Succumbing to peer pressure, he ran a hand across his forehead and shook his head. "Alright... fine. Let's go. I hope we don't regret this."

As soon as his words left his mouth, sounds of celebration from his friends reached his ears and then he suddenly found himself in a strong embrace. It took Hiccup a few seconds to recognize the fact that he was being held rather tightly by Jack and as soon as he processed the fact that he was getting a closeup of Jack's hair, Jack's biceps showing as he hugged the hell out of him and Jack's bare torso making contact with him... he felt color quickly rushing to his entire face.

"ThankyouThankyouThankyou Hic! You won't regret this!", shouted Jack, squeezing his friend once more before joining the rest of his friends in celebration.

Yeah, Hiccup wasn't regretting his choice after that little show.

------

The group looked quite silly in their swimming get up, Hiccup thought, as they made the trek into the depths of the forest, following the map on the Journal to the specified falls. In normal circumstances, the dimly lit, eerily silent and towering presence of the trees that surrounded them would have put anyone in high alert... but the group seemed to be too into whatever thing they were talking about that they barely noticed the creepy atmosphere. Well, Hiccup did notice it...

"But does anyone ever listen to Hiccup? No, they don't." He muttered under his breath before sighing and looking at the book on his hand, making sure they were following the right path.

"So, what in blazes is a Monotreme anyways?", asked Merida to everyone in the group, her head tilting to the right slightly as a confused expression adorned her face.

"Oh, oh!", began Rapunzel as he hopped slightly with excitement. "Monotremes are basal mammals of the genus Prototheria that lays eggs instead of giving birth to live young like marsupials and placental mammals do! There's only four species of Echidnas and the duck billed platypus in this order of mammals and they're super fascinating and super duper cute!"

"There's that encyclopedia-like obsession of yours.", said Hiro, teasingly but visibly impressed. Rapunzel blushed slightly.

"Huh. So what you're saying is... there's platypus living in the middle of Oregon?", asked Astrid.

"That's almost as weird and unusual as the nymphs that attacked us.", said Jack impressed.

"Definitely.", concurred Merida.

"Oh, but this is great! We're gonna swim with platypuses! It's gonna be so cute and safe!", said Rapunzel.

"Er, you do know that platypuses are venomous, right?", interjected Hiccup, but they didn't seem to mind.

And the conversation carried on in this same manner for a while, jumping from one inane topic to another, the group of teens having fun with and at the expense of each other. Amid the lush and calm greenery and the sounds of laughter and camaraderie, Hiccup started to ease off a little. He was still overly alert but not like before, where the drop of a pin would make him hyperventilate. It didn't take long for even that to completely subside once they arrived at their destination. "Whoa...", was all the group could say once they saw the scene before them. It was almost out of a fairy tale, really. In a clearing where the trees parted away laid the Monotreme Falls. A cliff covered in moss rose in front of a crystal clear lake, the waterfall coming down with enough force to be beautiful but not deafening. Hiccup could even see some fishes swimming in the sizable lake.

"That is peculiar...", said Hiro all of a sudden. "There's obviously a river flowing into the lake but there's no river flowing from this lake... Where does all the water go?"

"Maybe there's a subterranean river?", suggested Astrid.

"Guys. Guys...", said Jack as he stepped forward. "We could certainly deliberate nerdy reasons for why this cool as hell place defies all kinds of logic... orrrrrr.... We could jump in and have the time of our goddamn lives!" And without further warning, the white haired teen took off whatever remained of his shirt in a swift motion (an action that embarrassed Hiccup to no end) and jumped into the lake, loud laughter heard all the way up to when he plunged into the lake.

…

"He totally forgot he doesn't know how to swim, didn't he.", said Astrid, dumbfounded.

"I'll get him.", said Hiccup, panic clear in his voice as he ran into the lake and jumped in to save his white haired crush.

------

After that little mishap, which ended with Hiccup carrying a soaking wet Jack to the shore, the friends started to get ready for their outing. Hiccup changed his normal prosthetic leg into one more fitting for swimming (one that he had built with... someone's help.) and took his now wet shirt. Astrid and Merida started to set up some towels in the grass for the group to sit on while Rapunzel passed around some sunblock after applying some on herself. Hiro, spot of sunblock on his nose, took off his Quantum Backpack and with a flourish that got everyone's attention, dropped it into the lake. It only took some moments for the contraption to resurface, suddenly transforming in front of their eyes into a floating inflatable boat.

"Captain Hiro, ready to take on the seven seas!", exclaimed the Japanese kid with a proud smile on his face.

It was an almost cliché scene straight out of a teen flick, one would think, if they saw the group of friends having fun like this. Merida and Astrid were challenging each other in swimming races from one edge of the lake to the other while Rapunzel dived into the clear waters of the lake and chased and looked at the colorful fishes swimming around her, Hiro helping by throwing bread crumbs from a sandwich he was eating into the water to lure the fishes near.

Meanwhile, Hiccup and Jack were well underway into their swimming lessons.

"I think I finally got this buoyancy thing down, Hic!", said Jack excited as he floated in place momentarily before dipping a little below the water's surface and rising above it again, quickly grabbing ahold of Hiro's boat.

"It's all about breathing, Jack.", reassured Hiccup. "You think you're ready for the next step?"

The white haired teen looked from the boat, to the water, and into Hiccup. It was clear he was still very nervous, but he was also confident and a risk taker by nature, so he nodded. Hiccup smiled, trying to reassure him.

"So.", began Hiccup, realizing he was gonna need reassuring himself for the next step. "We're gonna practice the actual swimming now."

"A-Already...?", said Jack, his smile faltering a little. "Aren't we going a little fast, Hic? I can barely keep afloat and now you want me to swim?"

"Well, swimming IS floating... and moving.", Stated Hiccup before shaking his head. "Don't worry, its easy. Here, I'll help you." Said the brunet as he slowly extended both of his hands towards a confused Jack. "Hold on to me. I'll... pull you while you practice kicking to move forward and keeping yourself afloa-"

Jack took Hiccup's hands so fast the freckled teen lost his train of thought. It was such a simple gesture and sure, his friend had no romantic intentions behind the action but it still made Hiccup's heart flutter. The green eyed teen scrambled mentally to regain his composure.

"A-alright. We'll do some laps around the lake to get you used to it and then you'll try it solo, OK?", asked Hiccup, to which Jack just nodded.

Just as Hiccup had expected, despite Jack's bravado, he was so nervous he took the kicking exercise a little too seriously as he splashed water all over noisily and frantically, the poor guy apparently scared with the idea that he was going to sink if he ever stopped kicking. Gradually, however, Jack started to relax, breathing in and out slowly and making his movements less frantic and more precise. Soon enough the anxious smile on his face became more relaxed and genuine. Hiccup even dared to say he looked like he was having fun. As proof, Hiccup had been holding Jack's hands firmly through the exercise (an action that set Hiccup's heart aflutter) but as Jack gained confidence he started to let go slightly more and more, against his own carnal wishes, in order to ease Jack into trying for himself. It was at the end of the second hour that Hiccup was only leading Jack by the tip of his fingers, pulling him along only slightly.

Two hours where Hiccup had Jack's undivided attention. It was weird to call this an intimate moment but Hiccup thought it was. No one had started to tease them or even bother them or talk to them during the whole lesson. They probably sensed this was an important thing for Jack, and Hiccup assumed the same as well; that is... the true reason Jack was trying to learn how to swim.

"Looks like you still can't move pass that, despite how much you try to look like you did, huh Jack...? Hiccup thought to himself.

It was the only thing that explained Jack's newfound determination to rise above his phobia of water. And how could he not be afraid of it? Water was heavily associated with the accident that cost Jack his sister. Ice skating and swimming were taboo for the group of friends and Jack himself, so it was surprising that Jack had been the one to propose this idea of swimming. But Hiccup understood, well everyone in his friend group understood, that this was Jack's idea of trying to move past that. Stuck in the past yet trying to move forward, a veritable human contradiction.

Given all of that, there was no way Hiccup wasn't going to help him. This was beyond helping out someone because it was your crush; it was what Hiccup thought, the least he could do for his best friend of all time. He owed him this much and Odin damn it all if he was going to let him down.

The bright smile on Jack's face bolstered Hiccup's resolve to him through this even more. The white haired teen looked beyond ecstatic with his progress, and in a sudden surge of confidence, he let go of Hiccup completely and swam away on his own. He struggled a little to keep himself afloat at first, but he eventually smoothed out his form and he couldn't look-and be- happier.

"Look, Hic! Look! I'm swimming! I'm like a goddamn sea otter now!", yelled Jack, his blue eyes alive with happiness.

He was simply breath-taking in the water, Hiccup thought. He had been trying so hard not to sneak a peek at his almost-completely-bare chest back when he was still wearing the shirt with a hole on the chest from their last bet, but now that he was shirtless it was unavoidable and the brunet had been trying his darnest to not outright ogle his best friend's lean but toned and defined body, not having a lot of muscle definitely but enough to tease the mind... Slightly marked abs and some nice pecs and that nice happy trail that betrayed Jack's natural auburn hair color...

Hiccup thanked the Norns that his lower half was underwater, making It harder to appreciate the hard on he was sporting. He had to control himself. There was always time for that later... waaay later...

He decided to focus on helping his friend instead.

"Alright, sea otter, don't get too excited and swim too far away or a shark might eat ya!", teased Hiccup as he easily caught up with Jack, offering pointers to his friend.

=====

Hiro had to hand it to himself, he had outdone himself this time. How many teens can say that they had built a storage unit capable of carrying a motorboat sized float that actually works like a motorboat with all the necessary implements for navigation and water motion? Not a lot, he ventured. Yep, Hiro was proud of himself. And he was sure that that person would also be proud of-

No. Nope. Not going down that path again. Moping and dwelling on the past was not on the menu today.

Trying to steer his mind away from that train of thought, Hiro redirected his attention to the myriad of buttons, lights, levers and screens that bombarded the Japanese kid with information on the current state of his invention. After all, this motorboat was outfitted with the latest cutting edge technology in the world, with sophisticated sensors, highly maneuverable parts for the best control in the world and the most comfortable seats this side of Oregon-

"Hold on, what is THAT?"

Hiro had been focusing so much on focusing his focus away from that awful topic he didn't want to focus on that he realized he wasn't really focusing on what currently was on his eye's focus. Now that he was actually focusing clearly, he had realized that his Freaking Outstanding Cool Ultra Scanner had gotten something on his focus.

A weird shape was moving, no, swimming, at an inhuman speed. And there certainly wasn’t anything human on that shape aside from the number of limbs, at best. Hiro recalled at once how weird this town was, how the supernatural and unscientific was real, and alarms blared on his mind. And also outside of it as he pushed the big emergency button on the boat's dashboard. He clumsily leaned towards the microphone connected to the boat's intercom system and spoke at once.

"Hey, guys! This is your captain speaking.... GET OUT OF THE WATER AT ONCE! I REPEAT! GET. OUT. OF THE WATER. AT ONCE!!"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Hiro turned his attention once more towards the F.O.C.U.S' screen, searching frantically for the unknown interloper lurking in the waters of Monotreme Falls. Maybe it was because of the combined noise coming from the intercom and the alarms but the humanoid figure had stopped swimming around aimlessly and was now swimming... towards the retreating figures of their friends.

An extreme fear seized Hiro's heart as he saw the figure encroaching on his friends. He hurried towards the steering wheel, hoping he would make it in time.

-----

Everyone, including Jack, was confused once the alarms started blaring. But that confusion gave away as soon as they heard their friend's frantic plea. Still unsure of what was going on, but being smart enough to realize that whatever that was going on was serious, they followed Hiro's orders and made their way to the shore. Astrid and Merida were the most used to swimming, so naturally, they left them behind and reached the shore shortly after the warning was given, with Rapunzel trailing behind mostly because of the weight of her braided hair. Well, that and the fact that she had to give up the pretty rocks she had found on the lakebed.

Jack was getting frustrated, and perhaps a little worried and scared, at his own lack of swimming finesse. But mostly, he was getting angry at himself for putting Hiccup at risk, since said boy refused to leave his side, swimming alongside him, his reason being that "he wasn't going to leave Jack alone with whatever was scary enough to send scientifically-inclined Hiro into such a freak-out".

Jack admired Hiccup's self-sacrificing nature but it also pissed him off. It wasn't fair that Hiccup was in danger because of someone else's fault. His own fault. It wasn't like Hiccup did this for everyone, he only made those acts towards people he trusted. Or those that used to bully him back when he was smaller and awkward-er. It was a quality Jack liked and hated at the same time.

"Hic, please. Just get out of here, OK? I know you can swim faster than this.", urged Jack, knowing the answer to his plea already.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "I told you, I'm not going to-"

The rest of that sentence was cut short as Hiccup was suddenly, and violently, jerked underwater, his surprised scream drowning beneath the rippling surface of the lake.

Jack's blood went cold. The scene unfurled in front of him so fast to even react, and yet also in such a slow motion Jack had the time to scan the sudden fear and surprise on Hiccup's face. He didn't like what he saw. No, he didn't like how this was developing at all. A scared Hiccup, a Hiccup that was getting hurt because of his own stupid fault, a Hiccup that was in danger. A Hiccup that was going to die because of his own failings.

He was going to lose Hiccup just like he lost Emma.

Franticness in his heart and actions, Jack quickly shot his arms towards Hiccup and, miraculously, managed to grab onto a freckled hand. Never in his life had he gripped someone else's hand this strongly. He pulled and pulled desperately, trying his best to not sink along with him, but despite his best efforts, he was starting to sink along. But he wasn't letting go, he wasn't going to lose his best frien-

All of a sudden, the force pulling both of them down gave up and Hiccup resurfaced abruptly, coughing and splattering water out of his mouth. Relief washed over Jack and he pulled Hiccup along in towards the shore at a frustratingly slow pace. Thankfully, whatever had tried to drown Hiccup didn't attack them again and, with the help of the girls, they climbed out of the water. Hiccup collapsed on his back, still coughing, and Jack fell down on his own rear, both of them breathing heavily.

"Oh my gosh, are you guys alright?!", asked Rapunzel, worry clear on her eyes as she looked at both of them, no doubt looking for injuries. She had brought Hiccup's bag towards him, handing towels to both of the boys.

"Hiccup, where is your leg?", queried Astrid.

She was, of course, referring to Hiccup's prosthetic leg. Jack noticed it was indeed missing. The freckled teen coughed out his words as he spoke. "Had to... undo it...", He took a deep breath before continuing. "Or else that thing was going to... pull me under."

"What thing?", asked Jack.

A loud splash behind them was the answer. The shadow of something sailing over their heads caught the group's attention. Something had jumped out of the lake and had landed a few feet away from them. And that something was definitely not human. Hiccup went for the Journal, recognizing the creature that stood in front of them.

"A glass dome filled with water and surrounded by a crown of seaweed on top of their head, blue reptile skin, a duck's beak, a turtle shell on their back and webbed hands and feet that allow them to swim at incredible speeds." Said Hiccup as he read off the passage, "The Kappa is a Yokai or Japanese folk ghost of worldwide renown. Known for their supernatural strength, superb swimming skills and love for wrestling and cucumbers, one should never swim in areas where these monsters live lest they invoke their wrath and end up being drowned."

The entry on the Journal and picture on said entry matched the creature in front of them perfectly. And on its left hand was...

"Knickers, he has your darn leg on its hand there Hiccup!", pointed out Merida.

"B-but...!", said Jack as he took the Journal from Hiccup's hands and flipped the pages to the Monotreme Falls entry and showed it to his friends. "The Journal says this at the bottom of the page!"

""Aside from the rather innocuous nomenclature and secluded location from civilization, the Monotreme Falls are a rather picturesque location, perfect for relaxation and perhaps some cavorting and swimming."

As soon as Jack finished reading the passage, impressively, from memory, the bottom of the page unfolded slowly, revealing an extra passage on it.

"If it weren't for the local population of aquatic and dangerous Yokai, that is. Never swim here, ever"

A dead silence enveloped the group as this revelation dawned on them.

"Y'know...", began Hiccup. "That gag would have flied better if this was a visual medium"

"Who the fuck writes a book like this?!", shouted Jack, angry at the author of the Journal for this stupid decision.

But before they could argue or talk anymore, the Kappa lunged at them, barely giving them any time to scream or react as the otherworldly being closed in onto them. Jack closed his eyes, preparing for the worst as feelings of fear raced through his mind. He only hoped the suffering would end fast, regret filling his heart as he thought how he had put all of his friends in danger and how there wasn't anything that he could do to help them or himself. All he could do was savor the last minutes of silence left in his life as the end surely came.

And that’s the end. RIP Hiccup and Co.

nah just yanking ya leg this will be a two parter. like i said i hope it doesnt take too long to write the other half. killer cliffhanger tho right?

see ya all in the flipside

#hijack #frostcup #jaccup #doofen drafts #WHOO IT FEELS GOOD TO WRITE AGAIN #ITS BEEN A WHILE MAN

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