#now the ultimate roling begins...

[conscioustream]

It is, it's just doing the planetary slingshot to turn around at maximum velocity: there is severe turbulence before coherent release. It's a physicality we can't avoid—if we could've we wouldn't be here, don't get caught up in the details, just hold on to your seat and lean your head back so you don't get knocked out.

[quickestgold]

Still Alive: Dr. Jack Abbot x Reader

Part 2 of Still Life

Synopsis: Delivery complications during the birth of your son leave Jack caught between grief and hope, life and loss. In the stillness that follows, those who witnessed it begin to confront their own silent trauma, navigating recovery, healing and bonding with a newborn.

Warnings: Angst, but also comfort this time; Very graphic descriptions of a traumatic birth, massive blood loss, life support, mentions of maternal death stats, abortion, overall pretty heavy, please take care!!

Word count: 3.4k+

A/n: Can you tell I'm incredibly passionate about reproductive health and bodily autonomy!! This turned a bit political... whoops!

Also, you guys basically held me at gunpoint to write this lmfao… hope you like it!! name and shame special mentions: @florenceivy @bungurus @happyfox43 @pearlofthepitt @angrytimemachineduck @pear-1206 @yousigned-upforthis @blushinginapril @theblackestvalkyrie @csigeoblue @xxemmarldxx @travelingmypassion <3

“You did so good, my love." Jack whispers. "So fucking good.” He wraps a blanket around you both, trying to shield you from the cold, from the storm, from everything.

The placenta came out whole. That should’ve been the end of it.

The start of your little family.

Robby watches the three of you fondly, though his movements stay clinical and focused.

Jack, now fully stepping into the role of husband and father, lets him take charge.

With a calm, gentle bedside manner, Robby cleans you as gently as he can with the supplies he has available, assessing the extent of your perineal tear and preparing to suture.

The aftermath of the miracle of life, raw, exposed, brutal.

You don‘t feel any of it. The world rests on your chest, a warm, perfect weight. Your baby’s tiny breaths brush against your flushed, clammy skin.

For a few peaceful seconds, the three of you breathe in perfect harmony. A beautiful rhythm that creates an unbreakable bond between you.

Your souls tied together by invisible strings.

The emotions, the hormones and the love are overwhelming.

But bliss never lingers. Never long enough.

The surgical blanket between your legs suddenly turns dark.

Then comes the gush.

A wave of blood pours out of your body. And it keeps coming.

To much. Too fast.

Robby reacts instantly, but he can‘t keep up.

Jack’s eyes grow wide, his face goes pale.

Primary postpartum hemorrhage.

You’re not supposed to die giving birth. Not here. Not now.

Not with Jack watching.

But you‘ve seen this before. Too many times.

Women bleeding out on tables.

Partners gripping their hands, helpless, as the world stops making sense.

The devastating truth is, maternal death rates in the U.S. are shockingly high and for women of color, the risk is even two to three times higher.

It‘s bias, delayed care, systemic neglect.

It's a lack of research, a lack of funding.

A deep, persistent lack of interest in women‘s health.

Our pain sidelined.

Ignored.

Normalized.

The system continues to fail women and people with a uterus.

Jack knows that. Robby does too.

That’s why the moment the bleeding starts, they don’t waste time. They’ve seen how fast a name turns into a number.

How a tragedy turns into a statistic, that ultimately changes nothing.

Robby calls out for Jack to assist, before starting a uterine massage to stimulate contraction.

Jack’s eyes flicker to Robby’s, his hand deep inside you. That part doesn’t register until later.

You don‘t respond to the pain. Not a good sign.

You‘re going into shock.

Robby‘s gloves are soaked. Your blood literally on his hands. The massage isn‘t working. Not fast enough anyway.

Robby shouts orders at Dana, voice trembling, then turns to Jack. “Start the IV.“

Jack's trained for this. But he hesitates.

Frozen.

Jack never freezes.

Always calm and collected, even during the most chaotic, traumatizing cases.

Robby knows the feeling. There have been one or two instances where time stood still for him too. Where his body was suddenly not his own, even though others counted on him.

He needs Jack, now.

You need him.

Robby is only thinking in units, how many you‘ve lost, how many you need.

This isn’t a slow bleed. This is the kind that kills people.

Fast.

“Jack!” Still no answer. “Dr. Abbot!“ Robby‘s desperate yell finally snaps Jack back into professional mode.

He moves. Slides out from under you, gently guiding you onto your back, cradling your head.

He rushes to switch out with Robby, now massaging your uterus with one hand, the other pressing firmly on your abdomen.

Robby swiftly takes your boy from your arms, leaving you dazed and confused.

“It‘s okay, he‘s okay.“ Robby’s eyes lock with yours for a second. “We need to stop the bleeding.“

You don‘t hear any of it, your world being ripped from you.

Robby passes the baby through the elevator door to Dana, who cradles him close, rocking gently.

Jack returns to your side, settling at your head again, cupping your face.

Robby works quickly. He inserts a Bakri balloon through your cervix, inflating it with sterile fluid to put pressure on the uterine wall.

You don‘t see any of it.

The world just... stops.

It’s been a week since Jack and Robby fought to save your life.

A week since you bled out on the cold elevator floor.

A week since you took your last breath on your own.

Jack hasn‘t left your bedside, except maybe the odd trip to the bathroom, but otherwise he's been still.

The image of a tube down your throat forever burnt into his mind. Your exhausted body hooked up to machines that he knows keep you alive. That breathe for you now.

As a doctor, Jack knows the truth: one flipped switch and you’d be gone.

But as a partner, as a new father, he clings to the hope that you‘ll come back.

Jack feels paralyzed, fear, guilt and helplessness weighing him down.

The life you have built together is on hold, a deep stillness filling the air.

All he can do is wait for something to change. Either one way or the other. But in this moment, time seems to stand still.

It’s also been a week since your son was born.

Sometimes, Jack has to remind himself of that. That there's a whole new life now, suddenly depending on him.

But ridden with guilt, he finds himself unable to care for your boy in this time of crisis.

Dana brings the baby in sometimes, places him gently on your chest. Skin-to-skin. For the baby and the mom.

Those are the rare moments Jack lets himself feel it. The love. The dream.

A glimpse of what was supposed to be.

Until the sadness floods back in.

He failed you. As a husband. As a doctor.

How could he not save you?

“She‘s so still.“ Jack says under his breath.

“She‘s still alive, Jack.“ Robby‘s voice is kind but firm. He sits across from him on the other side of your bed, watching Jack carefully. “She needs you to believe in that.“

Jack just stares at you. “We‘ve both seen how most of these go“

“I know.“ Robby looks at you then your boy resting calmly on your chest. “But we‘re not there yet."

Robby picks up your son's tiny hand. Instinctively, those small fingers wrap around Robby’s.

“He has your smile“, Robby laughs softly.

Jack‘s frown lines soften. “And her eyes.“

The realization makes Jack smile. Robby gives him a nod, as if he just proved his point.

“Add some silver to those curls, a bit of unhealthy cynicism and a dash of existential dread… voilá!“

That earns a chuckle.

Jack rolls his eyes. “We both know I’m the healthy one.”

“Healthy is a stretch, brother.“ Robby raises an eyebrow. “I have talked you off a ledge or two.“

Jack snorts. "Ditto. Why did I even give you my therapist‘s number if you‘re not gonna use it.“

“What makes you think I haven‘t.“ A smile tugs at Robby‘s lips.

“Get out.“ Jack stares. “Have you?“

“Yes, actually“, Robby’s tone turns proud.

“When?"

He doesn’t need to answer. Jack already knows.

They both look at you.

The irony isn't lost on Jack. He is the one that hasn‘t made an appointment since it happened. Too afraid to leave your side.

When he thought about losing you before - and he has, of course, he‘s seen too much loss, too much death - he always knew he would find himself on a roof not soon after.

But now. Now another life depends on him. Regardless of whether you leave them.

“You know what happened isn‘t your fault, right?“ Jack puts the question out there, though he knows the answer.

Robby just shakes his head. And in that moment Jack realizes the guilt that‘s weighing on Robby too.

He wants to shake him, tell him he couldn’t have done more. But he also understands. Somehow, sharing the guilt makes it all a little more bearable.

“She wants you to be godfather.“ Jack says before he can overthink it. “I do too, in case that‘s not obvious.“

Robby‘s eyes widen in surprise, too stunned to speak.

“I know, I know, first the baby‘s name, now this.“ Jack furrows his brows. “If I didn‘t know any better I‘d be jealous…“

Back in his body, Robby finds his voice. “When you say it like that, he kind of does have my nose…“

“Careful, fruitcake-“

“I swear to god, Abbot, if you call me that again-“

A soft cry cuts through the banter.

Both men go still.

Jack stares at his son.

The frown lines on Jack‘s face, suddenly deep as ever. Jack realizes that he hasn‘t actually held his boy. Not really, apart from the few short moments when he places him on your chest.

And certainly not like a father should.

Whereas Robby has visited the NICU after every shift, occasionally even during his breaks. Checking, caring, guarding.

He's ready to hold him if Jack is not.

Robby's seen it many times. How deeply partners are affected by birth trauma too. It‘s the kind of silent pain that eats away at people.

The guilt, the helplessness. The shame, for even feeling this way, when it didn‘t physically happen to them.

The scars cut deep, even if they aren‘t the ones that carry them.

Their partners are the ones fighting for their lives, so surely they have no right to feel so broken. They have to be strong for the both of them. To hold the family together.

But as doctors, they know that‘s not how it works.

And yet no one speaks of it.

So they suffer in silence.

And even though Jack has all of the practical and theoretical knowledge, he still falls victim to it.

Robby doesn‘t push, he‘s just there.

Still.

But this time, Jack moves first. He reaches for his boy, lifts him into his arms. Holds him against his chest.

The crying fades. Jack’s doesn’t.

Tears fall down his cheeks as he rocks the baby gently.

“We‘ll be okay." He whispers into his son’s soft curls. "You, me and your mommy.“ He exhales, eyes shut. “She loves you so much. And I know she can‘t wait to meet you."

Jack has felt lost since the moment your eyes closed. But now... he finds you again.

In your baby’s eyes.

And he can‘t help but feel a wave of love wash over him.

You made this tiny human together. And he‘s every bit as beautiful as you‘d expect.

All the pain, the sadness and the fear briefly stop for a moment of peace.

Jack stays like this for what feels like hours. Robby was called away for a critical case at some point, though Jack didn't really notice when he left.

He doesn‘t notice Dana standing in the doorway either, until she raises her voice slightly to speak. “You‘re a natural, Jack.“

Her words are kind and affirmative and just what Jack needs.

Dana is perceptive like that. Always knows what to say to make others feel better even when her own life is falling apart.

Even in times of deep crisis, she is the first to step up and help.

And that‘s what she did for you.

When Jack and Robby were working on you, desperately trying to stop you from bleeding out, her helping hands were a safe haven for your boy.

But it also affected her. She was used to compartmentalizing, but seeing her colleague, her friend, on the floor, pale, not breathing and still, left a scar.

And she too feels like this is something she can‘t speak of. Because again, what right does she have.

So she carries it with her. Silently.

She feels it every time she comes into your room to brush your hair. When she moisturizes your face and hands. When she strokes her thumb over your frown line.

She tells you about her day and your boy‘s.

Jack is there too of course.

He never leaves.

It‘s the only time when Jack allows himself to rest his eyes for a bit, a deep trust that Dana's watching over you.

“Want me to take him up to the NICU?“ Dana offers gently.

“Thank you." Jack contemplates for a moment before shaking his head. "I‘ve got it.“

He moves to stand, his eyes flickering to you then back to Dana.

“I‘ve got her“, she assures him with a warm smile, taking a seat next to you.

As he moves towards the door, Dana suddenly stops him. “What the hell did you to her hair, Abbot?“

Jack just shrugs innocently.

Dana scoffs, lightly cursing under her breath. "Men."

Jack returns a small smile, leaving your room for the first time in a week, cradling his newborn.

Like many times before, Robby spends his break in your room.

Dana has just finished your beauty routine. Fixing the mess on your head that Jack clumsily left.

Robby watches the two of you fondly. There are no words needed. Just a silent appreciation of the people in his life. In yours.

He thinks back to when he picked up the phone to call the therapist Jack recommended. He was sobbing, hands shaking, voice trembling, breathing unsteady. Just minutes earlier, he had put you on life support. No time to process.

And of course, it brought everything back. The memory of taking Dr. Adamson, his mentor, his friend, off ECMO. The grief still raw.

So Robby dialed the number and made an appointment. A tiny win in itself. Although, he'd later realize wasn't so small after all.

The therapist was nice enough. Though Robby felt like he was being assessed. Because, of course, he was.

Doctors make the worst patients. Especially, in therapy.

They know too much, often feel they're above being treated. Above being helped.

Physician heal thyself.

Collins' words echo in his mind.

Robby remembers when Heather told him about the miscarriage.

His heart broke for her.

Though he wasn't the father, so was it his place to feel devastated?

Or when she told him she had an abortion, long after they broke up. He wanted to cry. Not because he didn't respect her decision. It's her body and he would have supported her no matter what.

No. Because she was scared and alone. Felt like she couldn't come to him and tell him. To share the weight of her choice.

He believes he failed her.

Like he failed you.

He should probably make another appointment.

There've been a few breakthroughs in the couple of sessions he's attended. His therapist made him start a journal. Write down all the things that plague his mind.

So he does. The words practically pouring out of him.

Robby writes about how partners are mostly an afterthought when it comes to birth trauma.

How they're expected to be strong, to support, to hold down the fort and to move on.

How there are little to no resources for families and loved ones.

How there's no funding, no research and too much stigma.

How much it would help people feel less alone if they could actually talk about it.

How birth trauma doesn't begin and end with the person giving birth.

And mostly he thinks about you in this bed, still, unconscious, far away. How it’s simply to much to bear alone. But he cannot bring himself to translate those thoughts onto paper.

Not when there‘s still hope.

The monitors beep. A sudden change. Something is different.

Your eyes flutter, your muscles twitch, the sound of faint gags fill the room.

Robby rushes to your side, quickly assessing if you're ready to breathe on your own.

You pass the criteria, so he orders Dana to prep for extubation, attempting to calm you down.

You try to inhale, but it’s wrong. Your throat is on fire. Your jaw tight.

A hand finds yours. Dana. "You're okay, honey. You're okay."

But something’s in your throat, a deep panic tears through your chest and you choke, eyes widening.

Someone else is speaking, pleading. "I know, I know it hurts. We’re getting it out. Hang on for me.” The voice is too familiar, but you can‘t place it.

You gag, something slick is pulled from deep inside you. It feels like you're being sliced open.

The second the sharp object leaves your throat, you gasp like you're taking your first breath. Like you've drowned and you're coming up for air.

You cough and cough, terrified and breathless. Eyes heavy.

Then you hear his voice. Again. Clearer this time.

Your eyes flutter open, focusing, trying to find something to hold onto. That makes sense. Anything.

"My love."

Jack.

Jack steps closer, cradling your head, his other palm resting gently on your chest. "You're still here." He says it like he's convincing himself.

Your eyes soften, your breathing steadies. You barely take in your surroundings, your only focus is Jack.

"You're okay." He's clinging to your face now. "God, I missed those eyes."

Your thoughts clear. Memories start flooding back.

Michael. But the words don‘t leave your throat.

Jack studies your face, patiently.

You try again. A whisper.

"Michael."

"I'm here", Robby answers, though you swear he's made that joke before.

You attempt to shake your head, though it's more of a twitch.

"I know you're not talking about me." Robby admits, gesturing to someone in the doorway.

The you hear it. Tiny cooing filling the air.

Your sweet baby.

A fragile sob escapes your lips. You look at Jack, who helps you sit up just enough.

Every muscle aches, every joint throbs, every scar burns, but a sudden energy surges through you. You lift your arms just enough for Dana to place your boy into your waiting arms. Like you found the missing piece of the puzzle. Like you're finally where you belong.

Jack wraps his arm around your shoulders, his other hand steadying yours as you cradle your boy.

"He has your smile", you whisper lovingly, gazing up at your partner.

Robby and Jack share a look and you wonder what that's about. Though it looks like Robby feels very much validated.

"All I see is you", Jack counters, adoration and devotion in his gaze. Jack leans in to press his forehead to yours, your lips quickly finding his in a gentle, needed kiss.

When you pull apart, you turn to Robby and Dana.

"You were there..."

They look at you, unsure where you're going.

“It matters”, you continue. “All of it. So don’t… don’t carry this alone.”

A beat. The room goes quiet.

"You nearly died and you're worried about us?" Dana chokes.

“I want Mikey to know… that the people who brought him into this world are the ones who stood still for us when everything else stopped.”

You take a breath.

“Will you be his godparents?”

Dana nods fast, like she’s trying to keep tears from falling.

Robby stands there, arms crossed, head bowed. Evidently moved by your question, but there's something else.

You groan, narrowing your eyes. "Jack already asked you, didn't he?"

Robby hesitates, scratching his neck and looking anywhere but at you. There's no way to talk himself out of that one, so he confesses.

You drop your head back onto the pillow with a theatrical sigh, then shoot Jack a look. He raises his hands in mock-surrender, a genuine smile growing on his lips.

You turn back to Robby, expectantly.

"Of course", he smiles. "I'd be honored."

"I don't know if I should be glad or offended you didn't ruin the surprise for me too", Dana deadpans, turning to Jack.

Jack scrambles to change the subject. "You know... Robby went to see my therapist."

"You what?" You blink. “Oh my God… I called it. Group therapy is happening.”

Robby tries not to look too smug.

You turn to Jack, still grinning. “Does that make him the stable one now?”

Jack groans, “Don't start.”

There's a refreshing lightness in the air, that none of you have felt for a while.

You know the road to recovery is long and that healing is a process. You'll grieve the time you've missed with your son. The milestones you weren't there for.

But the people in this very room were with you during the worst time of your life and you know you’ll make it through this too.

Together.

You hold your son closer. And Jack holds you.

In that moment, you realize that trauma is shared and that naming it is a kind of healing.

Ok I need to stop, this story already got away from me, didn‘t intend for it to be so long but here we are. Please lmk what you think <3

[smokingsoothesthesoul]

# DREW STARKEY — LIVE TALK SHOW

ִֶཐི༏ཋྀ ────୨ৎ──── drew’s first time on a talk show, which just so happens to be jimmy fallon’s and he’s known for scheming. he surprises drew starkey with his celebrity crush. which just so happens to be you.

ִֶཐི༏ཋྀ — pairing: actress!reader x drew starkey !

author’s note: please show some love, also this is my first time posting on here, and i don't know how good my one-shots are. enjoy!

word count : 1.8k

you were known for being one of the most famous actresses sought after. they’d been right for it, your acting was phenomenal. as much fame as you had, you never really let it get to your head, knowing where you had come from was the most important thing to you. 

not only that but you were also known for the activist and humanitarian organizations you’d created or supported alongside other celebrities, like angelina jolie, phoebe tonkin, daniel craig, etc.

so when daniel craig’s managers reached out to you it wasn’t a big surprise, apparently they had been reached out to by a talk show if they could invite you along as well. knowing daniel was more than glad to pass the invitation along, you accepted. 

you wondered why they’d want you there seeing as queer had just premiered, and that had nothing to do with you

—

drew had been nervous, he’d be on a talk show, but nonetheless he was a wreck. it took him forever to decide what he’d be wearing, ultimately deciding on a charcoal grey, and white tux with a black tie. he hoped his outfit would be fine for the show.

as he waited backstage for his introduction he paced around nervous, spinning his gold ring on his finger, an anxious tic he had. 

before he knew it, he heard jimmy fallon, “ladies and gentleman, let’s welcome the man everyone's been talking about, he’s rising to fame, the one and only drew starkey!” he announced as drew walked out and shook hands with the bodyguard on his way to the main set. 

hearing the loud cheers and roars of everyone was amazing and he couldn't help but be shook to his core, never in a hundred years would he have expected this. 

he waved to everyone as he made his way over to jimmy and shook his hand, before he proceeded to sit down in one of the couches.

“so drew we’re glad you accepted our invitation, isn’t that right?” jimmy asked the audience, before they all roared in agreement.

“i’m honored, thank you for inviting me.” drew replied confidently, knowing he was nervous inside.

“so we know you’ve been chasing gold for about four years, and now you’re in a queer relationship with daniel craig, james bond, which has premiered if i’m correct?” jimmy asked, knowing the answer but trying to build up the conversation.

“yes, out in theatres about a week ago.” drew replied. 

“how did that transition work, you know, from filming a show where you don’t really have a romantic relationship until recently to a full blown queer relationship?” jimmy asked curiously.

“honestly, a bit overwhelming and a lot of anxiety from my part. not more so because of the transition but just because i knew i had to ace this role. getting the opportunity to work alongside daniel craig and for luca guadagnino was truly the opportunity of a lifetime. whatever time it was, i knew i had to give it my all. sometimes i doubted my performance but daniel helped me and gave me advice whenever i needed it,” drew replied, while he felt himself relaxing a bit as he got comfortable enough to share personal details.

“there was even a time where,” drew began before lightly biting his lip amused at the story daniel shared with him, before continuing, “daniel told me of an experience he had with another co-star. basically when you first film scenes and most of all when they’re scenes like we were filming, the first day on set really is just practice. not reading lines, but actually practicing how certain scenes will go. in our case mature scenes were what we focused on at the beginning seeing as we’d be testing out our chemistry.”

“anywho the point is that once we were literally in the middle of a bed scene, nothing too explicit, and daniel chuckled when i fucked up a line because instead of saying ‘we can’t be doing this’ i said ‘we shan’t be doing this.’ he literally rolled out of bed and said he had to take a breather, i was confused, i mean we fuck up lines sometimes but never enough to call break,” drew explained.

“yeah normally that doesn’t happen, i would’ve been nervous,” jimmy commented.

drew laughed and nodded his head, before continuing, “i was dying of anxiety in the inside, i was like did i fuck up this badly. and i guess daniel could see it written on my face, which is when he walked over and explained how in his last role the same thing had happened with his co-star. and i couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief and literally said, ‘thank fuck’ to which he laughed at as he walked away to get a water.”

jimmy let out a chuckle at the ending of his story, and said, “oh my god i would’ve died of laughter too.” 

drew nodded as he swiped his backhand on his nose, a reflex of his, before replying “yeah i definitely would’ve too but honestly i was too nervous at the time, now i think back on it and laugh about it.”

“actually there was something i was looking forward to, with you here, let’s show this clip,” jimmy said motioning towards the tv for the audience.

before they knew it, drew was being interviewed by a reporter who asked who his celebrity crush was, ‘y/n y/ln’ he answered without falter.

as the video ended drew couldn’t help but let out a chuckle and turned to jimmy while he began, “is that still true?” 

drew knew the answer to that, and nodded, “yeah it is,” he replied confidently.

“we have a surprise for you if you look at the monitor,” jimmy said before motioning towards the tv.

if the world could swallow drew up whole, he’d let it. at that moment. because then and there on the tv, where times he’d stated his celebrity crush was y/n to interviewers and it was playing in chronological order.

as the video ended jimmy looked at him and playfully asked, “anything to comment?” 

drew couldn’t help but cover his mouth with one hand before sliding it down to reply, “genuinely that’d be mine if i could somehow reach her.”

“well who knows maybe one day you will,” jimmy commented supportively.

“unless i get the courage to actually dm her, it’ll be a pending matter,” drew replied.

“why the need for a dm? i’m right here,” you said after making your way quietly behind him signaling the audience to not spoil it.

at that moment, drew froze up, and instantly rose up from his seat but slowly turned around, not knowing if it was real.

as he slowly turned, you waved at him and slightly giggled at his nervous reaction. you waited for him to say something before you said anything else.

as you stood there waiting, drew finally caught a grip and let his charm play out even if he was a train wreck inside. 

“i’m drew starkey,” he introduced, stammering quite a bit. 

“i know,” you replied smiling.

hearing that drew’s brows rose in confusion, he didn’t expect that. he was a nobody and you were everything.

“i was invited to your premiere but i ended up in the er or else i would’ve been there, apologies,” you said, genuinely honest.

drew was lost for words, yet jimmy asked him, “drew you still there or are you too starstruck?” 

“mhm,” drew nodded, not necessarily indicating which one but they could all guess.

he couldn’t get over the fact you’d just apologized for not attending his premiere, gosh he was literally about to faint before he talked to himself in his head ‘get your shit together before you scare her’ which he proceeded to do, and extended his hand for her to shake.

“none of that, my mama taught me better than that” you replied before walking closer to him and pulling him into a hug.

drew couldn’t believe this was happening but reacted fast enough to not make it seem awkward for the audience, at least that's what he hoped and reciprocated the hug. wrapping his hands around your body.

as they pulled apart, you walked up to jimmy and shook his hand seeing as there was a literal desk between you both and greeted him. 

“jimmy it’s been a while,” you commented.

“glad to have you back on here,” jimmy replied genuinely.

“now that we’re dealing with a starstruck man, we actually have a few live questions, if you don’t mind answering them?” jimmy asked.

“of course, ask away,” she replied amused, wanting to know what was being asked.

jimmy read from his phone, “how does it feel to be drew starkey’s celebrity crush?”

“well honestly, and i quote, from the man himself, ‘i’m honored,’” you replied knowing drew was known for his replies of being honored.

next to you drew couldn’t help but smile amused knowing he said that quite a lot, he hadn’t been lying he really was honored. but to hear that you were honored he thought of you a certain way, well that was the most fucking honored he’d be in his life. before, now, or after.

“what do you think of drew starkey and his roles?” jimmy asked, reading off the second question being asked by the audience.

“well honestly, i’m definitely an outer banks fan. i’m glad he’s finally getting the recognition he deserved, i’ve been there since season one, people now are barely catching on,” you started.

as you replied, drew couldn’t help but feel touched at what you were saying. he really had just risen to fame this past year, with the new season of outer banks even though he’d been there since day one of the show.

“i’ll admit this new season and the past one that came out, i couldn’t help but feel a tad bit jealous that our local psycho was tied up and locked in with someone,” you admitted lightly, chuckling amused.

“for me this is a situation where i love the actor but hate the character unfortunately, because rafe deserved better, in this season four that came out. sofia betrayed him and genuinely frustrated me,” you explained.

drew couldn’t help but feel touched at how you were talking about his character, because it was something he’d poured his heart into. 

“one last question for both of you before we go,” jimmy asked before a drum roll sound came on to build anticipation.

“have we created a successful cupid match?” jimmy asked, to which the audience cheered, curious as well.

at that moment both drew and you gazed into each other's eyes, “only time will tell,” you answered truthfully, ‘but maybe we’ll get there’ you tried to communicate that through your gaze with drew. 

the cameras cut and now there was a rising to fame actor, holding out his hand for a famous actress to take. 

and that she did.

[writerasss]

DARAKARAK and TROPES

In Vedic astrology, the Darakarak planet (the one with the lowest degree in your chart, excluding Rahu and Ketu) represents your spouse and the dynamics of your romantic relationships. Each Darakarak brings a unique "trope" or theme to how love and marriage play out. Here’s how different planets as Darakarak relate to popular romance tropes:

---

Sun as Darakarak: Enemies to Lovers

Traits: The Sun symbolizes ego, pride, leadership, and individuality. With Sun as your Darakarak, relationships often involve power dynamics, mutual respect, and growth through overcoming initial clashes.

Trope:

Your relationship may start with conflicts, competition, or a sense of rivalry (classic enemies-to-lovers energy). Over time, both individuals learn to admire each other’s strengths.

There’s often a journey of healing egos and finding harmony.

Examples: "You started as my rival, but now you’re the person I trust the most."

---

Mercury as Darakarak: Friends to Lovers

Traits: Mercury signifies communication, intellect, and playfulness. It fosters bonds built on mutual understanding, curiosity, and fun.

Trope:

The relationship may begin as a close friendship where trust and laughter dominate. Eventually, deeper feelings emerge as you both realize the connection goes beyond platonic.

Expect witty banter, inside jokes, and shared intellectual pursuits.

Examples: "I didn’t realize I was in love until I started missing your voice at the end of every conversation."

---

Venus as Darakarak: Fated Soulmates or Star-Crossed Lovers

Traits: Venus governs love, beauty, and romance, making this Darakarak deeply tied to themes of passion, devotion, and harmony.

Trope:

Love feels otherworldly or destined, often with a magnetic pull. There could be external obstacles (e.g., family, society) that test the bond, leading to the "star-crossed lovers" vibe.

The connection is filled with luxury, art, and sensuality, emphasizing romance and emotional fulfillment.

Examples: "We were always meant to find each other, no matter how impossible it seemed."

---

Moon as Darakarak: Comfort and Healing Love

Traits: The Moon represents emotions, nurturing, and intuition. With Moon as your Darakarak, relationships are about emotional safety and mutual care.

Trope:

A "healing love" that feels like home. You may meet during a vulnerable phase, helping each other grow emotionally and find solace in the connection.

It’s the ultimate "you complete me" dynamic.

Examples: "You’re the calm in my storm, and I’ll always come back to you."

---

Mars as Darakarak: Passionate Opposites or Love-Hate

Traits: Mars symbolizes energy, drive, and passion. Relationships often involve intensity, physical attraction, and a fiery dynamic.

Trope:

A fiery, love-hate connection. You might clash over strong opinions or desires, but the chemistry is undeniable. Passion fuels the relationship, whether through fights or love.

Examples: "We argue like fire and ice, but we burn brighter together."

---

Jupiter as Darakarak: Mentor-Protector Love

Traits: Jupiter is about wisdom, expansion, and guidance. Relationships are built on mutual respect, shared values, and growth.

Trope:

A nurturing relationship where one partner often plays the role of a mentor, guide, or protector. Love grows through shared goals, learning, and emotional maturity.

Examples: "You inspire me to be a better version of myself every day."

----

Saturn as Darakarak: Slow Burn or Second Chances

Traits: Saturn represents discipline, patience, and karma. It brings lessons and maturity in love, often through delays or challenges.

Trope:

The relationship is a slow burn, taking time to develop trust and understanding. There might be obstacles, separations, or second chances involved, but the connection grows stronger with time.

Saturn’s karmic influence may make the relationship feel fated, with lessons to be learned together.

Examples: "It took time for us to find each other, but now I can’t imagine life without you."

---

Rahu as Darakarak: Forbidden Love or Obsession

Traits: Rahu symbolizes unconventionality, obsession, and breaking norms. Relationships are intense, transformative, and often nontraditional.

Trope:

A "forbidden love" or "taboo" connection, where societal norms or personal fears are challenged. The relationship often pushes boundaries and teaches transformative lessons.

Examples: "You’re the one thing I was told to avoid, but I can’t stay away."

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! I'm back with another Merlin au! This time featuring a role reversal and Merlin getting yet another job that he never wanted! Enjoy! :D

EDIT: You can find part 2 of this au here!

This au takes places during the season four finale, when Arthur gives up on being king and tells Merlin that Camelot will have to find itself another king if they defeat Morgana, since Arthur no longer feels worthy of being king.

So, Merlin leads him to Excalibur and helps him draw the sword from the stone in front of the people of Camelot, successfully convincing Arthur to believe in himself and his place as a good leader.

That night though, after Arthur confided in Merlin about his worries of Morgana's magic being too powerful for them to fight, Merlin sneaks back into the castle in dosguise as Dragoon and plants the curse that will strip Morgana of her powers the next day. However, he gets caught in the act by Morgana, who of course immediately starts attacking her sworn enemy.

Merlin is put on the defensive, putting all of his efforts into shielding himself from Morgana's attacks and fending off Helios and his fighters at the same time. After a few minutes, his spell that disguises him as Dragoon fades, as all of his magical strength is poured into his fight against Morgana.

Merlin can see the exact moment that Morgana's eyes widened with shock, and it's then that he realizes what had just happened: Morgana knew exactly who he was now.

After the moment of shocked silence passed, Morgana started cackling, finding the situation hilarious. She taunts Merlin, asking if Arthur knows what he is. Upon seeing Merlin wince, Morgana offers him a deal: join her side and help eliminate Arthur, or he can burn in the courtyard like so many of their magical bretheren. Morgana sneers at him that he'd better accept her deal, as he'd burn on a pyre at Arthur's hand even if Merlin kept fighting at his side.

Merlin, predictably, rejects her offer and continues his attack, rebuking Morgana for her cruelty and violence. At this point, their fight had migrated all the way out into the courtyard, which gave them more space to use more destructive spells against each other.

Morgana hurled fireballs at Merlin, and he responded by throwing blinding arcs of lightning at her. Morgana managed to barely sheild herself against the attack, but Helios and his men weren't as lucky and were blasted away in the attack, all of them fatally wounded.

Seeing that her backup was now gone, Morgana redoubled her attacks, franticly throwing spell after spell at her prophesied killer. As Merlin desperately shielded himself, he had an idea. The very thought of it caused guilt to well up in his throat, but he saw no other way to survive.

As Morgana renewed her constant barrage of spells, Merlin didn't defend himself with a shielding spell. Instead, he powered all of his already diminished power into a redirection spell, attempting to throw Morgana's spells back at her.

Sure enough, as soon as Morgana's spells collided with Merlin's redirection spell, they were launched right back at Morgana, who didn't have enough time to dodge or shield herself from the blast.

Morgana's own spells hit her with all of the killing intent that she had aimed at her mortal enemy, and her spells accomplished their goal: killing their target.

Merlin both shocked and horrified as he looked down at Morgana's body, as he didn't intend to kill her, only subdue her so that she could stand trail and face Arthur's justice. However, it seemed like Morgana's own murderous fury had been too strong for even herself, ultimately bringing about her demise.

As Merlin silently held onto Morgana's fallen body, just as he did on that fateful day when he poisoned her and pushed her into Morgause's clutches, he saw the run begin to rise over the castle. He quickly jolted up at the sight, his heart leaping with panic, since he needed to be back in Arthur's camp in the woods before anyone noticed that he was gone!

Merlin ran out of the castle, quickly finding his way back to Arthur's camp, and planning out what he was going to say to hopefully explain his absence. Maybe picking medicinal herbs in preparation to help anyone wounded during the upcoming battle? That would work!

But... there wasn't going to be a battle, since all of their enemies were now lying dead in the castle's courtyard, unknown to all of the fighters preparing to give their lives to retake their home. Shit, everyone would start looking for answers the moment they set foot in the castle, how was Merlin supposed to throw them off his trail?!

Merlin was so preoccupied with these thoughts swirling around his head as he ran back to the hidden camp that he didn't notice the many eyes peering at him from a certain window in the castle, with the men inside having seen everything that had just transpired.

(When Morgana had taken over the castle, she had locked all of the lords and older knights on Arthur's council in an old meeting room, planning to execute them later. She didn't plan to rule with some useless council to hold her back after all!

It was truly an unfortunate coincidence for Merlin that the particular room that Morgana had locked them in had a perfect view of the courtyard below and the unexpected battle that took place on it that night.)

Merlin, luckily, managed to make it back to the camp just as Arthur was waking up, and no one else seemed to have noticed that he was missing that morning, too preoccupied by preparations for the upcoming battle. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief when no one commented on him being gone. Maybe this would actually go smoothly!

That morning, Arthur gave a rousing and inspiring speech to his people, ready to lead them into battle. With the light shining on him and Excalibur by his side, his people ready to follow him to the ends of the earth, Arthur looked every bit the king Merlin imagined he could be. Looking at Arthur, King Arthur, Merlin's heart swelled with pride and hope. And if he had to blink some tears from his eyes, then no one commented on it.

Still, the fact that Arthur was leading them into a battle that was already won had Merlin shifting his feet with nervousness. How would Arthur react? Would anyone discover that Merlin was behind Morgana's defeat? Would they question their unexpected boon, or would they simply accept it with relief?

Merlin's anxiety heightened with each step the army took towards Camelot. While the army, along with Tristan and Isolde, were going to try to storm the castle from the main entrance (which Merlin knew would be easier than anticipated, since Morgana's army was dead), a smaller group comprised of Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Percival, and Leon were sent through the underground tunnels to launch a sneak attack on Morgana.

Merlin just put on a stoic face and nodded as Arthur outlined the plan, still trying to figure out how he could avoid suspicion after the army of Camelot realizes that Morgana and her army were already defeated.

Their small group easily makes to through the tunnels, which puts Arthur more on edge, as Merlin can see that he thinks that it's almost too easy, like they're walking into a trap. Merlin wished that he could allay Arthur's fears, but he couldn't at the moment, not without revealing that he knows too much.

When they reached the dungeons, Leon and Percival separated from them to go free Gwaine, Elyan, Gaius, and the other prisoners held down there. Meanwhile, Arthur, Merlin, and Gwen headed for the throne room, with two of them tense and ready for a fight against a formidable sorceress, and one of them tense under the weight of his own secrets.

When Arthur burst open the doors to the throne room, adrenaline rushing and ready for a fight to the death, he was ready to see his sister on his throne, mocking and tormenting him. Instead, to his shock, he found his entire council inside, alive and well and loudly squabbling amongst themselves.

Upon hearing the doors to the throne room crash open, they all froze and grew silent, turning to look at who was there. They all relaxed upon seeing Arthur, but tensed when they saw who was standing right behind him.

"I'm glad to see that all of you are unharmed, but what are you all doing here? Where is Morgana! We must defeat her at once!"

The lords' eyes grew wide as they started murmuring amongst each other in sharp tones. Finally, Geoffrey was pushed forward, seemingly appointed as the voice of the group.

"Welcome back, my lord. It is truly a blessing to see you back unharmed. However, we do bring troubling news to you. It is with a heavy heart that we inform you of these changes."

Geoffrey trailed off from there, his face grim. He seemed reluctant to say anything further, much to Arthur's frustration and horror.

"What do you mean news? What has happened? What has Morgana done?!"

Geoffrey sighed, looking every bit of his numerous years. After another tense moment of silence, Geoffrey spoke again.

"Sire, we wish to inform you that Morgana Pendragon is dead. She was killed in a battle in the early hours this morning. Her body still lies where she met her demise in the courtyard."

While Merlin grew pale and tensed even more, both Arthur and Gwen stumbled backwards with shock at Geoffrey's words, the breath knocked out of them both by the unbelievable news.

"What- How did this happen?! Who could have... how is that even possible?!"

"We," Geoffrey replied as he gestured to all of the lords and council members standing around him, "witnessed all of it from a room overlooking the courtyard. It was an unbelievable sight, one that I myself might not believe if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. A lone sorcerer called lightning down on all of Morgana's soldiers, killing them in an instant. He then proceeded to battle Morgana to the death in a duel of magic. He managed to defeat her before leaving the citadel in a hurry."

Arthur stood, frozen, as Geoffrey's words swirled around his head, almost comprehendible. Many conflicting feelings- relief, grief, shock, horror- welled up in his chest, almost choking him with their strength. He was paralyzed as he grieved his sister, celebrated his kingdom's safety from her wrath, and feared this new, more powerful sorcerer who had single-handedly defeated his sister, the most power magic user Camelot had ever seen.

Merlin, meanwhile, stood completely still, his heart beating as fast as a rabbit on the run from a wolf. They saw him, they all did. But it was dark, so maybe they didn't recognize him? Merlin hoped with everything he had that they hadn't recognized him during the battle.

Grimacing again, Geoffrey cleared his throat, apparently having more to say. Merlin's heart leapt with terror as Geoffrey opened his mouth once more.

"Sire, it is with great remorse that I must inform you of this, but there is more news. As is law, Morgana took the throne through right of conquest, as your father did in his time. Morgana was, in the time she ruled Camelot with her forces, the rightful ruler in the eyes of the law.

However, this sorcerer defeated the the ruler of Camelot and conquered her entire army. By the laws of Camelot and by the right of conquest, he is the rightful king of Camelot. Therefore, unfortunately, unless you formally challenge him for the throne and win, we cannot reinstate you as king at this time."

If it was possible, Merlin became even paler at those words, feeling woozy and sick to his stomach. Had he just sabotaged his own efforts?! He did all of this to keep Arthur as king, not undermine him!

Gwen gave a loud gasp, a look of horror on her face, while Arthur's jaw clenched in anger and frustration.

"This is preposterous! Whoever that sorcerer is, he fled! He cannot become king, nor can I challenge him, if he isn't even here!"

Merlin took a staggered step back as Geoffrey's eyes landed on him. He had the grasp at the pillar next to him for support under the old librarian's gaze. He knew.

"The sorcerer did leave after his battle with Morgana, as I said earlier, but I'm afraid that he is here right now, sire."

Merlin felt like he was about to faint. Oh gods, was he about to throw up?

Arthur's entire body jolted to attention, his grip tightening on the sword as he registered Geoffrey's words. He forced one strained word passed his clenched jaw.

"Where?"

Geoffrey motioned one of the other lords on the council forward, and he stepped forward with the coronation crown and royal seal resting on a pillow.

"The council and all of Camelot's vassal lords feel that it is in Camelot's best interest to acknowledge and formalize the sorcerer's claim to the throne at this time, as we are yet unaware of his true power or the danger he poses should he decide to attack. We unanimously agree that it would be best to not give him any reason to retaliate against Camelot, as we fear he might if we do not acknowledge his rightful conquest."

Arthur's face fell, his expression ashen and devastated. His own council had turned against him? They had chosen this unknown and potentially dangerous sorcerer to place the lives of his people in?

Arthur, Gwen, and Merlin were all frozen with shock and dread, looking on in horror as Geoffrey took the coronation crown and royal seal from their cushion and stepped forward, approaching the paralyzed trio.

"It is with a heavy heart that we crown the new king of Camelot, ascended through the right of conquest over Morgana Pendragon."

Geoffrey moved past Arthur, looking at first like he was heading for the door behind them, but Merlin knew who he was actually walking towards. Merlin flinched backwards, trying to get away from Geoffrey and the crown he was carrying, but he was stopped by the hard stone wall behind his back.

"We, the council and lords of Camelot, do declare our fealty to the slayer of Morgana, the prophesized sorcerer known as Emrys, King Merlin!"

Geoffrey punctuated his announcement by placing the crown on a very pale Merlin's head, much to the horror of Arthur and Gwen.

And it was at that moment that Merlin did faint.

That's all from this au for now! Let me know what you think of it and if you'd like a continuation of this au! Until next time!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[scarlet--wiccan]

Agatha All Along, the highly anticipated follow-up to WandaVision, begins airing this week on Disney+. Now is the perfect to revisit some important information about both shows and the context in which some of Agatha's new characters are being introduced.

WandaVision primarily followed the character Wanda Maximoff and expanded on her family history by introducing her late parents as well her twin sons, who are born from magic and age rapidly over the course of the series.

In the Marvel comics source material, Wanda is part of a large, multigenerational family of Jewish and Romani characters whose stories frequently reflect the systemic violence and oppression that both communities face-- including Romani Holocaust victims, who are critically underrepresented in both education and media. In the MCU, these identities and histories are completely erased, and the characters are all played by white actors. Alternate versions of these characters also appear in the Fox X-Men films, and are similarly whitewashed.

The Romani people are a racialized minority that originated as a South Asian diaspora, and who face severe systemic oppression in Europe and North America. The modern Romani population is quite diverse, but they are not of white ethnic origin, and despite the fact that Wanda and her family have historically been drawn with white features, they are minority characters and ought to be considered as such.

Depictions of witches and witchcraft are often entwined with antisemitism and anti-Romani racism. In pop culture, witches and fortunetellers are typically portrayed as visual stereotypes of Romani women. In the real world, fortunetelling is a profession born from survival work, one which Romani families are often heavily policed and racially profiled for practicing. While Wanda usually subverts these tropes, they are often played straight elsewhere in the superhero genre, and any story about witches, especially one featuring Romani characters, needs to be critiqued in this context.

Agatha All Along introduces viewers to a new cast of characters, including Lilia Calderu, played by Patti LuPone, and the enigmatic "Teen", played by Joe Locke, who is heavily speculated to be an incarnation of Wanda's son, Billy.

In the comics, Lilia is a member of a prominent Romani family in Wanda's community. Often lauded as the "witch queen of the gypsies," Lilia embodies many racial stereotypes about Romani women. In Agatha All Along, Lilia is depicted as an older Sicilian woman, however, being portrayed as a batty fortuneteller with a tawdry psychic shop, she still embodies an offensive trope. Although Lilia is far from "good" representation, this is not an improvement-- if anything, it's even more exploitative.

Billy was raised in a Jewish American household and places a very strong emphasis on his Jewish identity, in addition to having Romani heritage. His identity as a young gay man is always presented in conjunction with this heritage, not in spite of it. Though there is a significance to Locke being a gay actor playing a gay character, his casting-- if he is indeed playing Billy-- is not authentic. White gay representation should not supersede racial inclusivity, and it is not an excuse for whitewashing or Jewish erasure.

Marvel Studios recently announced that the character Doctor Doom will be played by Robert Downey Jr., who is returning to the franchise after many years in the role of Iron Man. In the source material, Doom is also a Romani character with a very similar background to Wanda's. This identity is central to Doom's character-- although he is written to be both morally and politically challenging, the liberation of his people has always been a primary motive.

Clearly, this type of whitewashing is an ongoing pattern in the MCU franchise. Although "Teen's" identity is still unconfirmed and Lilia may, ultimately, be of little consequence, they are part of a larger problem, and Agatha All Along needs to critiqued in that context.

[jon-sedai]

We don’t appreciate enough how GRRM made House Targaryen the poster children for his de/reconstruction of the fantasy chosen family trope, and we don’t appreciate how Jon and Dany are the main lens through which he does that. House Targaryen is fantasy on steroids—magic swords, magic look, magic lineage, perhaps the most magic pet one could have in the genre, and a magic destiny that’s specific to them and only them. There’s a foretold magical conflict and its main hero (as many would think), “the prince that was promised”, specifically has to be a Targaryen. This House’s history is so rich, but from a genre perspective, it is Aerys II’s reign and Robert’s Rebellion that’s the most interesting to analyze. Aerys isn’t special himself, but he is to sire the future savior of the world. Then Rhaegar is born and tragic as they are, all the signs point to him being the promised messiah. And Rhaegar becomes THE fantasy hero on steroids. He’s the perfect heir to House Targaryen’s legacy because not only is he to be the best of them, and many think he would have been had he lived, but he is the most perfect manifestation of House Targaryen as the personification of fantasy. There’s absolutely a point to him living and dying as the heir, the inheritor, the eternal symbol of what could have been of the Targaryen’s old glory.

Part of Rhaegar’s legacy extends to his son Aegon. Aegon had everything Rhaegar didn’t. A comet was seen at his conception—and this is an most important herald for the chosen one. So he is given a song, “the song of ice and fire”, and a king’s name to match his status as the new messiah. He didn’t live long but he inherited Rhaegar’s look in his youth too; the fantasy protagonist look. But Aegon died before he could be the hero.

You see Jon and Dany as chosen ones only works so well because of their House’s history, especially as (anti)parallels to Rhaegar and Aegon. They are the unexpected inheritors and challengers to their house’s legacy but in different ways.

Dany is the most immediate and obvious heir. There’s a beauty to her being the last of them and thus, the one bearing the entire house’s legacy. Dany is THE Targaryen. And in being that, she becomes THE hero. She’s got the hero’s look, the hero’s magic and destiny, and better yet, she got the hero’s sword and pet all in one. And, she’s legitimate! She is House Targaryen. But there’s a problem….shes a girl. And we all know House Targaryen’s history with girls.

Maester Aemon’s “no one ever looked for a girl” is quickly becoming my favorite Dany-related quote because it pretty much encapsulates her entire arc, especially as an inheritor to her house’s legacy. The hero they died knowing and expecting was the boy: first Rhaegar, then Aegon. But father and son are dead. Yet Daenerys lives. She inherits everything else they did and more! The Targaryens tried and failed to bring dragons back, but it was Dany who ultimately did it.

Now, Jon is Dany but flipped. From a meta point of view, he’s more fantasy protagonist than she is. He’s a boy, he’s got a big magic sword that he can swing about, and he’s perhaps fantasy’s most prolific trope in action—the magical hidden prince. But within this story, GRRM flips these two characters. Jon’s fantasy protag-ness doesn’t go away, it just morphs into something else. Unlike Dany, he may be a boy and he may have a sword, but he lacks literally everything else. He doesn’t have the look, his magic powers are from his other family, so is his magic pet, and his magic destiny has thus far developed outside his immediate association with House Targaryen. Dany is “what if Rhaegar was a girl?”, but we can’t even begin to ask these types of questions with Jon because there’s so much that precludes him from the fantasy hero role in story. He’s Rhaegar’s heir…but he doesn’t look like him…and he’s not even legitimate. So what do we do now?

GRRM destroyed his fantasy protag house and decided to build up again from the ground up, but did so by challenging the two most critical points—primogeniture and exceptionalism. With Dany, he makes a girl the Targaryen’s outward successor. This works really well because the Targaryens have a history of denying their female heirs. But now what’s left of them is a girl, and she is literally everything they could have hoped for. And she is a a reflection of her house, but her arc has at many times seen her be the antithesis of her ancestors. And I can’t help but think of the oncoming meta-textual showdown between her and Young Griff. On the surface Young Griff, a boy, is the preferred heir. But Dany is, in truth, the one.

Jon is interesting because, in my view, he challenges the Targaryen idea of exceptionalism. He’s easily the fantasy protagonist from the outside looking in. But he doesn’t have the Targaryen name, nor does he have the look. He has the blood, but what makes him special is that it is mixed with the other major fantasy protagonist house’s blood—he’s special in that he’s a hybrid. And this is interesting because if Aegon conquered the seven kingdoms because of a prophecy regarding him or one of his princely descendants, it’s quite the twist to have this messiah not even be a Targaryen prince (not in name anyway). That’s why all the hand wringing around “is Jon legitimate?” or “no one cares because he doesn’t look like Rhaegar” really isn’t the point. The point is for Jon to be the manifestation of the hero—the king—outside of that narrow framework. And if he succeeds, then GRRM would absolutely still be subverting prophecy and genre conventions.

There’s something to Jon and Dany being born as or after House Targaryen falls. House Targaryen has no crown, no throne, and their prophetic mandate has been usurped. But GRRM is so attached to them, and he certainly wants to rebuild them and hold fantasy to account. But to do so, everything we know about the Targaryens, everything the Targaryens knew about themselves, has to be challenged and put to the test by the personifications of all that a Targaryen hero couldn’t be: a girl, and a bastard.

[lost-romantique]

Blitzø's Future Character Development

So recently I had the chance to watch one of Viv's Patreon Q&A live streams- and I stumbled and watched the one she made back in January of this year.

And there was something that Viv said that really stuck out to me about Blitz and his character growth.

"Blitz's major arc this season was about opening up to others and realizing that, despite having hurt people in the past, he is still worthy of love. And reconciling those two sides of himself will be the main growth arc for next season."

Now let's break this down~

"Blitz's major arc this season was about opening up to others and realizing that, despite having hurt people in the past, he is still worthy of love."

We know that Blitz begins his redemption arc once he reconciles with Fizz in Oops.

Being able to- for the first time talk about what happened that day in the circus, and explain to Fizz that it was all an accident- and having Fizz forgive him, healed a small part of Blitz's broken heart.

Thus begins the hardest part about Blitz's journey~

The events of Fool Moon happen and Blitz is forced to confront the truth about his relationship with Stolas- and it ends... Horribly.

Blitz- in a desperate bid to get back to the status quo- resorts to what he thinks will get Stolas back in his life, sex.

However, by the time he apologizes- it's too late, and he's forced to give Stolas up in the end.

The last thing Blitzø does before ultimately leaving Stolas- was making a sincere apology to Verosika, mending one more relationship he burnt in the past.

Ghostfuckers, despite the bullshit Blitz went through- was ultimately an episode of healing for him as was able to walk away- having learned that he's helped someone for the better, and that there are people that love him and want him for more than just his body.

His character development comes full circle as he learns the depths of Stolas' feelings for him.

I think Sam Haft describes Blitz's character development perfectly~

"Blitz comes out the other side more self-actualized."

Now onto the next part~

"And reconciling those two sides of himself will be the main growth arc for next season."

Truthfully, I was confused when she said this- and a part of me still is, but I think the main part of Blitz's growth next season comes from learning to give and receive love.

Sinsmas Blitz is the best iteration of Blitz we have so far, a smol bean who is able to be tender and caring towards his big birb because he's giving love.

Blitz is able to slip in the caretaker role with ease like a natural because one thing Blitz likes to do is show love physically.

Cooking, going out into the town, shopping, dancing~

Blitz shows love physically. Before he was only able to do it through sex, but now he's allowing himself to show it in other ways.

But you can tell, that he's still unsure of himself.

That a huge part of Blitz's growth next season comes from, not only learning to receive love, but learning to love himself more- or at least appreciate it.

And I'm looking forward to it, ever so slowly~

(Also, this is why Stolas can't leave him to date another guy because I don't know how the fuck that's going to improve that man's shit self-esteem).

[yandere-sins]

Do you know which concept I‘m going feral over again at the moment?

Yandere!Priests

[Warning: Yandere + Violent & Lewd content]

It‘s really just about the absolute depravity of these priests.

A priest who‘s knuckles turn white as they grip the altar so hard to not just jump his darling on the spot while they are in the middle of a sermon. But their darling is sitting in the front row and they can smell their perfume and it‘s driving them absolutely insane and their cock so hard that they can‘t concentrate on their speech to the point they have to cut the service short. Everyone is so concerned about them but when their darling steps up to ask if they are okay or need something, they almost orgasm in front of everyone. (They‘ll make sure that their darling is the only person to take care of them, that‘s for sure. And while the priest is at it, they can invade their darling‘s home and life to the point of no return.)

Or confessional boothes where their darling is spilling all their worries and heartache, which is not only ideal for the priest to know to manipulate them later, but also because they can't help jerking off pitifully to their darling's voice. Imagining them on their knees sucking them off like the little devil his darling must be to turn the priest away from god. Yet the priest will be panting and gasping for air by the time they absolve their darling from the 'sins' they comitted, the priest hoping they'll be back soon with more.

A cult priestess who notices one of the followers turning away from the cult and it happens to very their darling. So they start sacrificing all their darling‘s friend and family, making them the outcast. Making sure they feel so threatened and scared that the moment the priest opens their arm for them, they run and confess all their sins. They are an outcast that the priest can take back under their wing, reform back to their faith and at the same time manipulate and gaslight them to the point that they won‘t want to leave the priests side anymore, which gives room for them to demand the ultimate sacrifice of the darling—their whole being.

A very beloved priest and their caretaker!darling. Priest is the chosen of god but they‘ll refuse to do anything they are supposed to if their darling isn‘t in reach for them at all times. Darling who was forced into this role but is now pressured into doing everything for the priest so the latter may provide the village with divine guidance. Darling that wants to escape but is dragged back and beaten into compliance. And a priest who basks in the glory of getting away with all the lewd and terrible things he does to them with no one to help the darling.

But it goes to other religious figures as well!

Angels that begin to fall from grace without realizing it because they start to simp for their darling and they really shouldn‘t. But the darling looks so cute and the angel loves it when you laugh. They're really trying not to favor them with divine intervention whenever their darling is having a bad day, but seeing their frown turn into a smile when they see a rainbow or pet a stray cat that thee angel led to them, they just can't help themselves from making their darling's life a little easier. That is, until the darling starts to truly commit sins (like fall in love with someone that is not the angel), and they have to do worse things (like watch over them as the darling undresses or masturbates) and they don't even realize just how much they are losing their angelic-ness, because the angel suddenly longs to be more than just a silent observer.

Nuns/Monks that are taking care of a lost sheep on their priests demands and start to forget about all their vows and duties, wanting to only be with them and stalking them around the grounds. Sneaking into their rooms to frolick in their darling's sheets and lick their spoon after dinner, their nethers tingling with lust as more and more depraved thoughts come into mind. Them sitting next to their darling at the sermon, their knees touching and the yan unable to keep themselves from panting and salivating over their darling, developing a desire to deprave them in the same way as the darling has the yan.

Anyway, I'm super normal about it but,

[senseandaccountability]

the narrative that could have been

Having mulled over the game for a couple of days I have realised that the main problem for me is that Veilguard is good based on the premises they ultimately choose, but not based on the set up and promise of what was there before. I know this isn’t a unique take by any means and yes it’s all about the Evanuris and the Veil and Solas. 

Replaying really emphasises how incredibly little the game convinces me of its original main quest - to prevent Solas from doing his ritual. This is a problem as a long-term player because for three games we’ve had build up for a great crescendo tackling the overarching themes of the (restrictions and oppression of) magic, of tears in the Veil, of religious tyranny and oppression based on myths about the Black City and the temptations of flawed humans, we’ve seen and deconstructed the elves quite a bit, we got started on the dwarves and in DAI your Inquisitor can openly ask Solas if it wouldn’t be better if the Veil came down because then spirits wouldn’t be separated from the living and risk becoming demons. Cole, whose function is to reflect the plot, talks endlessly about the old songs wanting to be sung again, about how it hurts to be cut off from part of yourself, how the templars feel it, how the mages feel it, how the elves and the dwarves feel it. The Veil as a prerequisite for life has been deconstructed, the Fade demystified, the gods have mostly fallen. The Veil as an actual wound inflicted on this earth has been presented as a theory and not been convincingly rejected by the narrative. 

The game actually gives no explanation whatsoever as to why the Veil coming down would be worse than what Rook causes in the beginning and what the escaped gods then do to the entire Thedas. The entire south falls to the Blight because Elgar’nan and Ghilan'nain are let loose. The Wardens are more or less wiped out. There’s enormous political turmoil. The game gives us Solas saying “thousands” would die when he brought the Veil down, but that he had a host of spirits there to help. (Yes, I know, his sole function in this game is to Trick and Deceive so who is to say if he’s lying, HUH, but even so, THE ENTIRE SOUTH FALLS TO THE BLIGHT IN ROOK’S VERSION OF THINGS.)

The game puts emphasis on Solas's questionable methods and past horrors but it doesn't ever explain why his goals are despicable here and now. It doesn't convince us that tearing down the Veil with lots of safety measures in place and after considerations is a bad result, all things considered - save for Varric’s initial yelling about demons. (We even learned in DAI that the Veil itself creates demons because it restricts the passage of spirits, come on.) Because three games have suggested it's not, not ultimately. Trespasser especially nuances this, just as it nuances Solas’s view of this current world state. Right after his long nap he would have nuked it all, I’m sure, but the whole point of character arcs is that things happen in them and what happened to him is that he was shown layers and angles he had not considered and adjusted his mindset and ultimately his plan accordingly. That is where DAV should have picked it up. That's where the build up was headed. But, now he must serve the narrative solely as the God of Treachery and Lies which means that previous build up is washed away for the most part. (In no way do I think he is OOC in DAV, I just want to point that out so nobody thinks I’m a sappy fangirl or whatever. I think he is perfectly in tune with his inner Dread Wolf, but that is also all he gets to be, because of the narrative, and I’m always much more interested in when roles and personas clash.) Again. The main problem is that the narrative cannot explain why bringing down the Veil would be the worse option than the shit we see unfold on screen. Instead it gets a bit lost in the past.  And I have Issues with that, as well.  Like, the dumbing down of the war against the Evanuris. The war that started because the leaders of the rebellion - who previously had to carry out terrible orders so the Evanuris, the upper crust of the Elvhenan, could play gods - decided that the Evanuris was a threat to them all. And the game gives us what, a depiction of how the rebellion ended up crossing lines, too? No shit.

Like, I am fully on board with the individual theme of regret on Solas’s part and he ought to be wrecked with guilt but I wish the game could be less all over the place with what sort of things he ought to be wrecked with guilt over. Saying fuck you to the Evanuris is the best and brightest of his character, I suppose I just don't want it dragged down to the same level as him breaking the Titans. I suppose I would have wished for a narrative that also worked on a systemic level when depicting things like, you know, war and revolutions and subjugation. But we don't have that, because DAV is only about personal choices. The Lighthouse crew flippantly writing the hierarchical and violent power struggle off as being about love and betrayal is on my shitlist forever. 

No, Taash et al, it was not about pussy, it was about feeling compelled by superiors to commit heinous war crimes and being lied to about the actual purposes of your damn war in the first place. The elves shouting at Elgar’nan and Mythal in this painting aren’t driven by love and sex they have been lied to by their ruling class. It was never about freedom or ending the wars, it was always about Elgar’nan jerking off to ultimate godhood. The writing even suggests betrayal here is to be understood as Netflix drama betrayal, maybe some juicy porny plot but it’s ABOUT THE BETRAYAL OF THE ELVES BY THEIR OWN KIN.  ((ETA: I would have wanted my Dalish mage to be allowed to be furious, NOT WITH SOLAS, but with the fucking Evanuris for betraying her people and being so fucking vile that the only option that remained was to create a world where she's a second-class citizen. I would have wanted the game to recognize that not all causes are equal and that Elgar'nan's cause for godhood was objectively more vile than Solas's cause for freedom because as it stands now, there are some really iffy vibes of "both sides are equally bad" and other things authorities tend to say when comparing destructive regimes with uprisings.)) I’m sorry, this shit hits me on a personal and political rage level. 

I also can’t help but mourn a game where the Trickster God fulfilled his trope’s duty and shook the stagnation apart with his actions - for good or ill, the way trickster gods are wont to do - and where Rook was tricked into helping and then, a more complex game about its consequences could have unfolded. The Evanuris could still have been the bad guys, if they wanted big villains frothing at the mouth. There could still have been numerous unplanned consequences, like all of Solas's plans have. Maybe other ancients awake as well. Maybe ancient evils who aren’t elves, who knows. Point is - the Veil should have come down, at least in some form, at least in some outcome. THAT is what they've been building up to. In this game that never was, Rook could be an actual interesting character where we could mold her as either accepting of this trickster role (which fits perfectly for a blank slate with no ties) or set to overturn it and enforce status quo, with some vanilla option in the middle. Maybe the Veil doesn’t come down until the very end of the game, ancient magic takes time after all, maybe a lot has happened by then. But ultimately, Rook’s choice in the end should not have been about siding against Solas because he’s lying to you or because he did horrible things in the past or siding with him because you want him redeemed. The narrative should have provided those options either way. The narrative should have been brave enough to suggest that hey, maybe Solas isn't wrong at all - his methods maybe, but his goal, no. If they truly wanted mirrors between Rook and Solas, Rook should have tackled the issue of actively bringing down the Veil herself, not because it's a roses and sunshine-outcome but because it might very well be the lesser of two evils. Gods, that would have been interesting. It should have been a choice about what sort of world Rook and the Veilguard wants to see in the future. It should have been about the people, the world, not how angry Rook is that an ancient elf has tricked her. 

That would have been the game I wanted to play.  This story doesn't really give anything new to the world of Thedas, which a world without the Veil would have. It accomplishes closure for our favourite trickster god and bless them for that, but as for the plot and the world-building it ends on a meh because the narrative isn't about the people unless they're brought up as being endangered. This is why I can feel satisfaction regarding the thematic conclusion to certain character arcs, the trickster becomes the healer with the bloodiest hands, the wolf submits willingly to his trap and so on and so forth, and I can have fun with the characters and their arcs but also really mourn the game that was there, in subtext and build up over three previous games and in several tie-ins.

[2handsslan]

max verstappen // mv1 fic recs

———————————— 🏎️🏎️ ————————————

one shots

fluorescent - @scuderiahoney

“motorsport is a dog eat dog world, and you know that better than most. it’s not often you meet someone who understands, who shines a light on all the darkness, but max might just be the perfect person for it”

first loser - @itsgodepi

“in the wake of a disastrous race, you're caught under the media's unforgiving glare. your every move and word being dissected for days on end as you simply try to navigate your rookie year in formula one. It is just your luck that your opponent in this fiasco is none other than the famously outspoken max verstappen, whose relentless jabs only add to your frustrations”

zandvoort, nl - @frogstappen

“you watch max's home race from the red bull garage”

a different light - @userlando

"you weren’t just friends. friends didn’t touch you the way he did (or the one where max has an epiphany and realizes he's in love with his best friend)"

coming of age - @keerysfreckles

“in which a silly bet between the two redbull drivers becomes a reality when y/n wins the first race of the 2024 season”

tying you to me - @pierregazly

“[4 times] in which something coincidentally led back to max, and the [1 time] it turned out nothing was just a coincidence (in which everything has always tied max to you)”

denial is a man’s best friend - @marlenesluv

“ y/n and max have been friends since karting years, and now? now, they’re teammates at redbull. they are one of the best teammate duos in the grid, but what happens when max catches feelings?…or when everyone but them notices they are in love but themselves”

baby steps - @forteafy

“you've always been mercedes golden girl; your life and career have been set out in stone. all it takes is for your ultimate rival to change that all”

pick you up - @scuderiahoney

“when Max has one too many gin & tonics, you’re the one who picks (him) up, every time he calls”

temptations - @no-144444

“you and max are on break and things get out of hand. nothing like tmz to mess things up, right?”

never an interruption- @fastandcarlos

“you’re all ready to celebrate max’s win with him, only when you find someone already there to celebrate, you begin to question the role you truly play in max’s life”

little big fan - @thef1diary

“your daughter runs off while you were in the middle of grocery shopping because she spotted max, her favourite driver. meeting you, max wants to know everything about you and your six year old. so of course he finds excuses to keep meeting you, starting with inviting you to the dutch grand prix”

series

rule breaker series - @coff33andb00ks

“max has it all...right? besides, he's too busy collecting trophies and completing side quests for anything else. until... you moved across a whole ass ocean to start over, uprooting you and your son's lives to become social media admin for cars that drive in circles”

smau

yuck! series - @maxlarens - smau

“your aesthetic interest in max verstappen is purely professional, you swear”

won gold - @maxverstappendefender - smau

“olympic snowboarder!gf x mv1 (max being a complete simp for someone that doesn’t even know him)”

miami baby - @norrisainz33 - smau

“actress and avid f1 fan visits the paddock for the first time and she is a certain world champion’s celebrity crush”

worlds biggest fan - @astonmartinii - smau

“y/n is the president of the official max verstappen fan club, but nothing can come of that, right?”

*these are part of my fic rec masterlist, please note none of these are written by me and the author of each story had been tagged! check out my f1 fic rec masterlist for other drivers!*

[kiddotarot]

What kind of love meant to find you in this life ?

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

( we are all meant to find some kind of love in our life but love is not always not the same for everyone . Its always a way we learn something in our life and go for the ultimate self . Remember you are here to learn and grow so don't afraid to love someone and yourself)

PILE 1.

The love which is meant to find you is frivolity and cunning but not immature. It is something unexpected and feels like imposter To you in this life. Actually you know it from the deep down from your heart it makes you feel like a child but that familiarity is old. It may be an old love from past life or a connection which comes back in your life and be an endgame for you . But it has a level of maturity connected to your soul which has already passed childhood and become mature . you going to recognize it by your heart and soul but its still make you feel new adventurous something like you behave like a child when “you are comfortable with a person and they know you so take it easy the not going to judge you be fearless “. The practicality doesn't matter in this love. There is no leadership Role more like two innocent children totally in love and feeling like the high school sweetheart . It's going to be a total endgame for you. I see major transformation and starting a totally new life after leaving old once behind. But for now you need to focus on your current task and master it and you are not enjoying you work or job which is important to you to find or master your hobbies or life lessons which you need to learn and understand.

PILE 2.

The love which you are meant to find in this life can be a way to release your karmic or you are here to learn something in this lifetime through this love. Love can be a mystery for which makes you feel confused and there is not a good condition of feminine energy in this connection that may be less nurturing or trust. You are advised here to not become superstitious here and there is also a lack of planning or a figure which takes control of an unconventional type of love. But the tower reserved here tells me that you are going to learn freedom of body , emotionally and physically or in this life through this love with great cost. The devil in the last shows may be you understand that you are stuck in a love which is totally based on materialism or lust and now it's a sensational separation from understanding. i feel maybe you are in this relationship now or currently going through same situation it's a sign for you to understand that you need to leave things or relationship, connection behind who's don't have love or respect for you.

PILE 3.

The love which is meant for you in this lifetime comes after a hard time emotionally or mentally and you now are in great great grief and after that you meet the love of your life it's a new relationship or proposal for you a new Connection. And the type of love in which you are going to build your own world, you literally are going to manifest your new life with it may be marriage or a new beginning. The connection which means to find you or the love which is destined for you is going to develop a creativity inside you . Love is going to be a solid rock for you, you are going to become wise and very practical. Maybe you become more mature after it. This love connection is very inspiring. Maybe you pursue your studies or something which you want to do in your life and you start to turn your vision into reality. It's also something related to manifestation. You may try to manifest it now … go check you list. For now I see you are stuck because your wishes are not coming true or you are stuck somewhere in your life or having health problems currently because universe is testing you don't worry.

[baldieboi]

I decided to try writing some Primarch x reader content. Here's my first try.

How each Primarchs would react when they hear about your (their wife) pregnancy?

Lion El’Jonson

The Lion would be stunned, his usually unreadable face betraying a flicker of disbelief. He’d question the logistics first. How could this happen, given his engineered nature? Once convinced it’s real then he’d become intensely protective, almost to a fault. He’d worry about his child inheriting his burdens (the secrets of Caliban, his own inner darkness).

He’d build a fortress of security around you, ensuring no harm comes to you or the child. He might struggle to express joy openly but late at night, he’d rest a hand on your belly, silently vowing to shield his family from the galaxy’s horrors. He’d also secretly dread being a distant father, fearing he lacks the warmth a child needs.

Fulgrim

Fulgrim would be ecstatic, seeing the pregnancy as the ultimate expression of beauty and creation. He’d view the child as a masterpiece in the making, a perfect blend of his and your essence and a testament to the heights humanity can achieve.

He’d shower you with affection, composing poetry and music for the unborn child. He’d design an exquisite nursery, obsessing over every detail to ensure it’s flawless. He’d talk endlessly to the child in the womb, promising to teach them art, grace and the pursuit of perfection while ensuring your every need is met with elegance.

Perturabo

Perturabo would be conflicted. Part of him would be overjoyed at creating something not meant for war while another part would fear failing as a father. He’d overanalyze the situation, worrying about the child’s safety in a galaxy of conflict and whether he can provide the emotional support they’ll need.

He’d build an impregnable nursery-fortress, complete with defensive mechanisms (just in case). He’d also craft toys and tools for the child, wanting them to inherit his intellect. He’d be gruff but protective, awkwardly trying to comfort you while hiding his own insecurities about fatherhood.

Jaghatai Khan

The Khan would smile broadly, seeing the pregnancy as a new journey to embark on. He’d be thrilled at the idea of passing down the traditions of Chogoris, viewing fatherhood as an extension of his role as a protector.

He’d take you on gentle rides across open plains (if possible), wanting you to feel the wind as he does. He’d tell stories of his homeworld to the unborn child, hoping they inherit his love of freedom. He’d also craft a small talisman for protection, a nod to his cultural roots.

Leman Russ

Russ would let out a booming laugh, sweeping you into a bear hug (gently, of course). He’d be over the moon, seeing the child as the start of his own pack. He’d boast to everyone about becoming a father, unable to contain his pride.

He’d insist on teaching the child the ways of Fenris as soon as they’re born, already planning mock hunts and survival lessons. He’d be incredibly hands-on, always near you to ensure your safety, and would probably howl at the moon in celebration when the child arrives.

Rogal Dorn

Dorn would be quietly stunned, processing the news with his usual calm demeanor. Inside he’d feel a surge of protectiveness and purpose: he now has something more personal to defend than the Imperium itself.

He’d design the most structurally sound nursery in the galaxy, ensuring it can withstand any threat. He’d be a steady presence for you, offering quiet reassurance rather than overt affection. He’d also begin planning how to instill discipline and honor in the child, though he’d worry about being too rigid.

Konrad Curze

Curze would be horrified at first, fearing his child will inherit his cursed visions or dark nature. He’d struggle with the idea of bringing life into a galaxy he sees as doomed but a small part of him would cling to hope that this child could be his redemption.

He’d become obsessively protective, lurking in the shadows to guard you from any perceived threat. He’d whisper grim lullabies to the unborn child, torn between warning them of the galaxy’s horrors and wanting to shield them. Fatherhood would be a battle between his darkness and his desire to be better.

Sanguinius

Sanguinius would be overwhelmed with joy and sorrow. He’d see the child as a beacon of hope, a chance to create something pure, but he’d also fear passing on the curse of the Red Thirst or foreseeing their suffering.

He’d be endlessly tender, cradling you and speaking softly to the child about a better future. He’d craft beautiful things for the nursery, wanting the child surrounded by light. He’d also pray to the Emperor to spare his child from his own burdens.

Ferrus Manus

Ferrus would be conflicted: part of him would see a child as a potential weakness, a distraction from duty, but another part would feel a surge of pride at creating life. He’d struggle to reconcile these feelings.

He’d approach fatherhood like a project, ensuring every need is met with mechanical precision. He’d craft cybernetic toys (perhaps too early), wanting the child to be strong. He’d be distant at first but would gradually soften, especially if you help him embrace the emotional side of parenting.

Angron

Angron would be overjoyed in rare lucid moments, seeing the child as a chance to build a family he never had. The Nails would make him fear his own rage, worrying he might harm those he loves.

He’d be fiercely protective, vowing to shield his family from slavery or harm. He’d struggle to be near you at times due to the pain of the Nails but in clearer moments, he’d sit with you, speaking softly of a life free from chains for their child. He’d rely on trusted warriors to guard you when he can’t trust himself.

Roboute Guilliman

Guilliman would be thrilled but immediately start planning. Fatherhood would be treated as a new campaign and he'd want to ensure everything is perfect for you and the child from resources to safety.

He’d create detailed schedules for the pregnancy, ensuring the best medical care and nutrition. He’d read every text on parenting (even writing his own Codex Paternis). He’d be supportive but overly formal at first, though he’d melt when feeling the baby kick, showing a rare vulnerable side.

Mortarion

Mortarion would be quietly moved, seeing the child as a chance to defy the suffering of his upbringing on Barbarus. He’d view fatherhood as a way to create a life untainted by the horrors he endured, though he’d worry about his ability to provide a gentle environment.

He’d be a silent guardian, ensuring your health with an almost obsessive focus on cleanliness and safety, fearing disease or poison might harm you or the child. He’d speak little of his joy but would stand watch over you, determined to protect his new family. He’d plan to teach the child endurance, wanting them to survive any hardship.

Magnus the Red

Magnus would be fascinated and overjoyed, seeing the child as a new mind to nurture. He’d be thrilled at the prospect of teaching them the wonders of knowledge and the Warp, though he’d worry about the inherent dangers of psychic power influencing them.

He’d surround the nursery with protective wards and spells, ensuring no psychic harm comes to the child. He’d talk endlessly to the unborn baby about the mysteries of the universe, eager to teach them. He’d be incredibly attentive to you, using his knowledge to ease your discomfort.

Horus Lupercal

Horus would be elated, seeing the child as an extension of his legacy and a symbol of hope. He’d view fatherhood as another way to inspire and lead, thrilled at the idea of shaping a new life with the same care he gives his Legion.

He’d be a doting husband and expectant father, rallying his Luna Wolves to celebrate the news. He’d spend time with you, sharing stories of his campaigns while promising the child a galaxy worth fighting for. He’d want to instill leadership and courage in them, preparing them to stand tall among humanity.

Lorgar Aurelian

Lorgar would see the child as a divine gift, a sign of the Emperor’s favor. He’d be overwhelmed with emotion, viewing the pregnancy as a sacred event that reinforces his faith in humanity’s purpose and his own role as a spiritual guide.

He’d write hymns and prayers for the child, wanting them to grow up steeped in belief and reverence for the Emperor. He’d be endlessly devoted to you, seeing you as a holy figure for bearing his child. He’d plan to teach the child the power of faith, hoping they’ll share his vision of enlightenment.

Vulkan

Vulkan would be overjoyed, tears of happiness in his eyes as he embraces you. He’d see the child as the ultimate expression of humanity’s worth, something to protect at all costs.

He’d craft beautiful, functional items for the child: cribs, toys, even tiny armor. He’d be incredibly hands-on, always near you to help with anything. He’d teach the child kindness and strength, wanting them to be a light in the dark galaxy.

Corvus Corax

Corax would be quietly moved, though he’d worry about bringing a child into a galaxy of war. He’d fear failing them as he feels he failed others but he’d vow to protect them.

He’d be a shadow around you, always watching for danger but rarely speaking his fears. He’d build a hidden, safe space for the child, wanting them to grow up free from oppression. He’d teach them independence, though he’d struggle to open up emotionally.

Alpharius/Omegon

They’d react with calculated curiosity, intrigued by the implications of fatherhood. They might even question if the pregnancy is part of a larger scheme (paranoia is their nature). Still, they’d feel a rare personal attachment.

They’d ensure the child’s safety through layers of secrecy and misdirection, hiding their family from any threats. They’d be unpredictable fathers, sometimes distant, sometimes surprisingly involved. They’d teach the child to question everything, preparing them for a life of intrigue.

[wordsfrombudha]

Venus Nakshatras: The Cost of a Man's World

Before discussing the role of Venus nakshatras, I want to expand on the general understanding of what the nakshatras are. Earlier in my Moon men post, I talked about how the nakshatras are unchanging and universal, representing the experiential dimensions of our engagement with the physical world. They show the inner aspiration of the mind, driving us to engage with the world in certain ways and seek out various experiences. However, there is another side to this that is less passive. While the nakshatras show what calls us to seek out external experiences, they also show what we are capable of achieving. One of the most important rules of jyotish that is considered only with an advanced level of study is that nothing can come of the chart that the nakshatras do not allow. This means the nakshatras act as a kind of subtle filter or gate, delineating not only what the native is drawn toward but also the boundaries of what is possible in their lived experience. The planets express themselves according to their condition, but that is ultimately shaped by the deeper permissions or limitations of the nakshatras. In other words, a planet may be powerful in a sign or house, but if it resides in a nakshatra that does not support the kind of manifestation the chart suggests, then that potential remains dormant or unrealized. Likewise, when a chart overall indicates a slight potentiality of something occuring that is favored by the nakshatra, the nakshatra will make sure it definitely happens. This is why the nakshatras are often said to be the true “field” in which a planet plays. The rashi might show the context of material circumstance, the house the domain of experience, but the nakshatra reveals the tone, the capacity, and the manner of expression that governs both the psychological disposition and the material outcomes in a native’s life. When we start to consider this level of depth, the nakshatras cease to be “lunar mansions” in the poetic sense and instead emerge as precise, technical indicators of both capacity and the unfolding of pre-ordained outcomes, helping us to understand our soul's trajectory in life from the energetic tendencies ingrained from the time of birth. They create either a ceiling or an opening, and we must understand that the entire chart is to be viewed through the lens of nakshatra influence.

Anyway, now to get on with the main topic of the post. The planetary associations made within this context will be based on Vimshattori. Vimshattori is a lunar based dasha system. It is apt at capturing our experiences and impressions of something more than the objective facets involved. For example, during a Saturn period, you may be lonely. But how will you experience being alone? Will it make you sad? Happy? Give you new zeal for life? Or will it crush your spirit? That inner tone is what Vimshottari recognizes and elevates. It shows not just what happens but how it is experienced and ultimately absorbed by the mind. Two people may go through similar events, for example, but one might be empowered, while another feels defeated. This difference depends on the nakshatra and its ruling planet, specifically in how it relates to its condition in our chart, but that is a bit too specific for right now. The nakshatra lords show more about the quality of a period seen from the moon rather than the planet itself, and we begin to understand the progression of energies from the Moon's perspective when we study them. With this in mind, we will now turn to the Venus nakshatras, which are Bharani, Purva Phalguni, and Purva Ashadha. Remember that these are not pure expressions of Venus; rather, they show periods of time where we experience the effect Venus has on the Moon.

The first thing we need to realize when studying Venus nakshatras is that Moon is enemy to none, but Venus is enemy to the Moon, which creates a one-sided tension between what the Moon wants and what Venus wants. The Moon in its pure expression (not its nakshatras) seeks peace, balance, and preservation of feeling through the senses, while Venus brings disturbance through desire, provoking the mind into movement, stimulation, and transformation. This dynamic forms the basis of the Venus nakshatras which are charged, active, and more often than not disruptive to the mental state. They do not allow the mind to settle. Instead, they awaken a hunger that must be answered even when the cost is high. This is why the lives of Venus nakshatra natives often reflect stories of desire, provocation, and upheaval. Their presence stirs something both in themselves and in others and we see this clearly in how they are portrayed across media.

Because Venus provokes instability in the Moon (because it is enemy to it), the stories that emerge from Venus nakshatras are usually pretty brutal. There is a volatility to the lives of these natives that reflects an internal climate of discomfort, one that demands resolution through experience rather than reflection. They are rarely given the luxury of remaining untouched. Instead, their circumstances tend to force them into roles that confront the contradictions of desire, often dragging them into morally gray terrain. We see in these natives a tendency toward extremes: to be both victim and instigator, pursued and punished, loved and rejected. What sets them apart is not the presence of beauty or harmony, but the fact that such qualities, when they appear, are unstable, always flickering in and out of reach, unable to be held without some greater cost being paid. In other words, Venus nakshatra natives do not embody the traditionally benefic nature you would expect to see from the planet.

This pattern of relational disruption reflects the karmic role of Venus when filtered through the lens of the Moon. In the Vedic tradition, Venus is the guru of the asuras, the teacher of those who seek to manipulate, seduce, or overtake the natural order rather than submit to it. Venus teaches through desire, through indulgence, and through the confrontation with maya in its most refined and tempting forms. When the Moon (symbol of manas and perception) enters into the field of such a teacher, it is not the Moon that seduces, but the Moon that is seduced. The mind becomes agitated, not because it seeks pleasure, but because it is compelled to process the consequences of having seen through Venusian eyes. What the Moon experiences through these nakshatras is not harmony, but the dissonance of longing for something that cannot be held. This is the curse of Sukracharya's domain when viewed through Chandra's vulnerable gaze. Venus nakshatras are not sites of enjoyment. They are karmic mirrors, where the Moon must see its own fragility in the face of what is beautiful, pleasurable, and unattainable.

Venus nakshatra natives are frequently cast in roles where it is shown their presence alone unsettles the order of the world. There is something about them that does not sit quietly or serve as ornament but instead provokes the surrounding environment. It draws others in, but not without cost. For women, this experience is one of being thrust into a world that sees them as both sacred and dangerous. They are often compared to monsters or witches. Their being becomes a mirror that others cannot bear to look into, and so they are punished for it. They may be violated, disbelieved, exiled, or otherwise estranged from any sense of comfort they might have enjoyed had their mere existence not stirred so much feeling. Their lives are marked by continual intrusion, as if the world cannot allow them peace. Even when they seek stillness, something is always thrown at them, whether it be a betrayal, a demand, or a trial that forces them back into defense. These women often take on the role of warriors, but not because they wanted to fight. They are compelled to armor themselves for survival.

In the sense of Hindu tradition, they carry the curse of the apsara born into the mortal realm. Their sacred femininity, which once danced freely in the halls of Indra, is now condemned to walk through fire again and again until it becomes something diamond-like. Their softness, when it does survive, is forged rather than given. For Venusian women, the world they walk through is anything but neutral. It is structured by male dominance, and their experience is shaped by the cost of existing within that structure. These women are punished simply for taking up space. Their softness is not protected, and it is weaponized against them. They often do not belong in the realms they move through, but they cannot retreat from them either. Their stories become a meditation on survival not as preservation, but survival as transformation under pressure. They are shaped by the gaze and actions of others, then blamed for the shape they become.

For men born under Venus nakshatras, the tension between Venus and the Moon manifests as a more forceful expression of desire and control rather than passivity or softness that hardens over time. I would consider these men less as victims of their nature and more as active perpetrators who embody the more aggressive and manipulative aspects of Venus’s energy, reflecting the planet’s role as the guru of the asuras and the rajasic planet that cannot take no for an answer. However, they are definitely one way to see an outcome of toxic masculinity. Their connection to Venus compels them to assert power through seduction, coercion, or disruption, imposing their will on others in pursuit of what they desire. So, remember it is the Moon experiencing Venus, so for the male psyche, it is more about chasing after what they want. This dynamic is embedded in the karmic lessons they face, where the intoxication of Venusian allure becomes a double-edged sword, granting influence but also inviting conflict and moral ambiguity. These men force confrontation with uncomfortable truths about desire, dominance, and vulnerability. Their lives unfold amid cycles of power struggles and fractured relationships, highlighting the cost of wielding Venus’s energy without the balancing grace or empathy that the Moon seeks. In this way, their path is one of reckoning with how far desire can push beyond the limits of compassion and respect, making their stories intense explorations of the consequences when beauty and power become weapons rather than gifts.

Moving beyond the personal dynamics of Venus nakshatra natives, it is important to consider how these energies influence broader patterns in life and society. Venus, as the guru of the asuras, governs not only desire and attraction but also the structures of temptation and disruption that challenge established order. Viewed through the lens of Vimshottari and the Moon’s experience, Venus periods provoke situations where illusions and attachments intensify, forcing individuals and communities to confront the consequences of indulgence, manipulation, and power struggles. This influence extends beyond personal experience into social and cultural upheaval, moments when accepted values are questioned and boundaries tested. Venus nakshatra phases become karmic opportunities for transformation that demand active engagement rather than passive acceptance. They bring hidden tensions related to status, identity, and control to the surface, compelling a reckoning with the cost of desire that surpasses superficial gratification. These cycles push not only individuals but entire collectives into situations exposing vulnerabilities, provoking conflict, and offering a chance to reexamine what is truly valuable and sustainable in life. This theme appears often in media portrayals of Venus nakshatra archetypes, where characters embodying these energies frequently disrupt established social norms and provoke intense emotional reactions. Whether portrayed as enigmatic seductresses, dangerous rebels, or charismatic manipulators, these figures reflect the tension between allure and threat that defines Venus’s influence on the Moon.

[fawnspotholiday]

It's an interesting description, alone in the deepest dark...

Does that truly describe Ralsei?

After all, when we found him, he wasn't exactly alone.

So what sense does that make?

Even if you want to think Lancer had only gotten in recently, and maybe even knowing Kris (before meeting us) was recent after a previously lonely life, is Castle Town really something that feels like the "deepest dark"? It's a dark world sure, but it feels neither deep nor dark, simply existing in an easily accessible school closet.

There is a character though that's alone in the deepest dark, so alone they never appear in the game.

For the longest, these unused lines in the code were thought to be Dess. But now that we know that Dess is most likely the Roaring Knight (despite other theories I do still think it's meant to be her), what could be the reason for these mysterious lines?

I think they are the best bet for our true prince of the dark, who will be freed when the time is right. You have to wonder who put him in this prison to begin with.

What's with all the imposters?

I think an overlooked element of the prophecy is when the heros are meant to show up.

In both versions, the heros are meant to show up after cataclysm has already started. To the point where it already feels like the end of the world.

Obviously, we are not quite there yet. So we can only conclude that part of the conspiracy that's occurring is likely attempting to playout the prophecy early, for some reason. Possibly, they are trying to circumvent the cataclysm entirely and get to the ending as soon as possible with the least harm/loss of life.

My prediction is that this will not work, and may even become the reason cataclysm occurs and brings the intended heros into the light. Similar to how the hero switch up of Susie and Noelle will only help them act out their intended roles, these attempts to circumvent the prophecy are also useless struggling that will ultimately result in things going as intended.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

The Bunny Is The Key To Everything In Homestuck I Promise Just Trust Me

PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX.

Con Air bunny = Hal = hope and love. Just trust me bro. I've been having a mental breakdown about this for weeks. I can't guarantee that you won't have one too. Let's have a mental breakdown together <3

SETTING THE STAGE: THE ENDING IS BAD ON PURPOSE

So before I can even begin to explain what I mean by all that shit about the bunny, there's one major idea that this entire argument is predicated on: Homestuck's ending is bad on purpose as a direct dare to the audience to do better.

One of Homestuck's most major themes, as well as its most oft-employed literary device, is the unreliable narrator. I'll actually just let Hussie explain it himself:

[AH/Andrew Hussie] isn't really just a jokey self-insert writeup on the idea of self-inserts, though. He is, in a strange way, a legitimate character with a role to play in this story. [...] We need to bear witness to a lot more of his buffoonery before beginning to reflect on what metafictional merits there are to having a character in a story who bears the title of "the author" of the story. [...] More to the point, he is set upon a long-term trajectory from being the supreme goofball-savant in absolute command of his craft to gradually becoming a victim of his creation, as much at the mercy of the forces it unleashes as he was the original architect of their unleashing.

So within the fiction of Homestuck, this is the guy doing the narration. He's an idiot who doesn't fully understand his own characters or story, who's outrageously biased in favor of some characters (Vriska) and outrageously biased in disfavor of others, and while he certainly means well, as we see from him as the Narrative Prompt guiding Caliborn, he ultimately fails to live up to that idealism.

Because, see, he gets shot and killed by Lord English.

And let's note that this death of the author (ha ha) doesn't come out of nowhere, either. Much earlier on, Hussie literally wrestles with Doc Scratch for control of the narration:

Before having it stolen from him by Caliborn for Homosuck:

In a very literal sense, Hussie is no longer the primary voice guiding the story by the end. He has been usurped by the forces of evil, and they - with their command and mastery over time - are in control. And, in fact, they always have been, because Lord English is ALREADY HERE.

uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY. uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING. uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER. uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR. uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS. uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE. uu: RETROACTIVELY.

EVERY narrator is unreliable. Every narrator in Homestuck - from the author, to the assholes who replace him, down to the characters themselves as they write their own chatlogs - cannot be taken at face value. All of them will either lie to you, or possess unexamined biases, or simply be flat-out incorrect about the world they're living in. And not only that, but there are malicious forces that will seek to take control of the narrative for their own evil ends, and we can't let them win.

And so, with this in mind, the ending of Homestuck comes with it a very pressing question: if the narration has been completely untrustworthy up until now - if it is dubiously under the control of malicious forces, and, if not them, then otherwise biased, idiotic, and/or completely wrong buffoons - why should we trust it as it spins us an ending?

The interplay between the "narration" and its variable tricks, and the actual objective lived reality of the characters being narrated, is also a topic Homestuck loves to examine. Even from the beginning of the story, when user prompts were still able to dictate commands to the characters, it was always clear that they would have their own opinions, feelings, and free will. As such, especially later on in the story, after the reader has been primed to become suspicious of the narration, the narrative framing will often attempt to skew "the truth."

Then, after Doc fills Vriska's head with evil ideas, we return to the narrative text, which... continues filling her head with evil ideas. The first line is, "Of course he's right." It's easy not to notice this, because by its nature, the narrative text disguises accountability. The speaker disappears behind the words, and we start imagining them as a literal transcription of a character's thoughts without thinking much about it.

An easy example of this is the romantic relationship Meenah strikes up with Vriska - Meenah, and her narrative's complicit skewing of events, frames the relationship as "heartwarming" or "wholesome" - two awesome bitches deciding to blow off lame responsibilities to enjoy being total baddies together. However, a closer analysis reveals these objective truths at play:

Vriska - a traumatized child (age 13 at death, 16 at most by this point in the story) with a history of abuse, who has just been abandoned by any semblance of a support network, expresses the sentiment that she can't trust her own judgement anymore.

Meenah, age 19, has previously framed Karkat (age 15)'s offer to fight LE with her as "a date" when talking to Terezi. Thus, her expressing romantic interest in literal children is a pattern for her - and make no mistake, she follows this up by expressing relief that post-retcon Vriska is 16, calling it "more respectable". She knows what she's doing.

Meenah expresses the sentiment that she just "does stuff," and that if that "stuff" has a poor result, then it's "a mistake and oh well", which is the latest in a pattern of refusing to take any accountability whatsoever for the horrific, constant bullying she inflicted on her team and especially Damara.

She proceeds to frame this utter lack of responsibility as a positive, pointing out that running from her heiress responsibilities is what got her team to play the game in the first place, and therefore, what allowed her to meet Vriska. But, as we just established, her failure to take responsibility is A Bad Thing and A Problem.

This means that she heard Vriska say she couldn't trust herself anymore, and saw this as a huge green light for getting romantically involved.

And so, while the narrative framing of this moment is "sweet and wholesome," the actual intended message of this moment is "holy fuck Meenah no. Holy shit Vriska run away".

In a similar manner, the post-retcon canon ending of Homestuck has the veneer of triumph, of victory. But look a little closer, and you'll start to notice - as most of the fandom did - some pretty glaring cracks. Characters will outright admit that they never finished their arcs:

KANAYA: So KANAYA: You Really Dont Have Even The Slightest Sense Of What You Stand For KANAYA: Some Concept That Speaks To You In Some Way KANAYA: Or Represents Ideals Important To You KARKAT: I DUNNO KARKAT: UHH KARKAT: BLOOD? KANAYA: Blood KARKAT: NO, NOT BLOOD. KARKAT: I MEAN, NOT REALLY. MAYBE. KARKAT: HONESTLY I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OR WHY I SAID IT.

Or that their deep emotional problems are still unfixed and unaddressed:

GC: W3 COULD W1N TH1S F1GHT GC: CR34T3 4NOTH3R UN1V3RS3 GC: SUCC33D 1N 3V3RY W4Y POSS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1'LL ST1LL F33L 1NCOMPL3T3 GC: V1CTORY WON'T F1X M3 GC: M4YB3 NOTH1NG C4N GC: M4YB3 TH3R3'S TOO L1TTL3 SUBST4NC3 1NS1D3 M3 TO 3V3N B3 F1X3D

And, the smoking gun to the idea that the ending is purposefully unsatisfying, in the book commentary, Hussie outright mocks how stupid the idea is that Rose's drinking problem could be solved by Vriska's bullying, implying that it isn't even a valid ending factually:

Whatever the reason, much later it seems like things smooth over between them, after Vriska canonically cures Rose of her alcoholism through the power of tough love and bullying, which is totally how that kind of thing definitely works.

Moreover, the ending is explicitly not a particularly happy one - at some point, Earth C is abandoned and left to ruin, because that's where Calliope and Caliborn hatch - given the trouble they went through to use Space powers to bring Earth back, if Jade was still around, surely, they would've just moved Earth C when the sun started dying, rather than vacating it entirely. Calliope also must cease to live, as Caliborn comes into possession of the Ring of Void, which is only possible when the Ring of Life disappears from the story. And Caliborn's challenge to John in the credits of Act 7 further imply that this is the way the timeline ends: the beta kids are trapped in the house juju, which is deployed to fight LE seconds before everyone in the Furthest Ring is swallowed by the black hole (and they likely no longer have John's retcon powers, as it's implied he received them from himself via the juju); the alpha kids are trapped in the far future with no way to return; the trolls, left behind on Earth C with their finite lifespans, die of old age.

Therefore, there's only one possible conclusion to draw: you aren't supposed to like the ending. The ending feels shitty on purpose. This is the final culmination of Homestuck's unreliable narrator: the comic turns to the reader and says, "here's an ending that sucks balls, one where the villain wins. What are you going to do about it?"

To that end, there are lots of hints scattered around the story as to what a character's trajectory and happy ending "should" look like. For example, casteism is linked to lifespan, and Feferi's powerset is specially designed to modify lifespans - but she's secretly a huge casteist, who loves being a princess and "better" than everyone else. If she doesn't survive, come into control of her abilities, AND finish her character arc of learning that Casteism is Bad, then casteism is just going to happen all over again as the troll species naturally sorts itself into haves and have-nots based on the massive advantage afforded to the longer-lived coolbloods. The trolls literally cannot have a happy ending if this doesn't happen.

Again, these hints are everywhere, and most of my time on this blog has been spent cataloguing them. Primarily in the form of shipping. HOWEVER. I think I might have discovered the biggest, most fully-loaded, most important Chekhov's Gun in the entire series, something that will likely serve as a capstone to whatever other shape this hypothetical "golden ending" would take, and it's this:

The Bunny is Equal and Opposite to Lil Cal

Lil Cal is a symbol of cruelty and fear. He was summoned into reality as an act of vengeance, serves as a corruptive force, and harbors within him the series' ultimate evil, the four souls making up Lord English himself.

He is a juju, a particular kind of deeply magical item of which only one copy ever exists at a time, whose existence appears to originate from paradox space itself as an entirely recursive loop. His movement across the plot is carefully tracked, and very few items in the story even come close to tracing the circuit that Lil Cal must wind.

But of the items that do come close, there is one of particular note: the Con Air bunny.

In contrast to Cal, who is and always has been a juju, the Con Air bunny is wholly mundane. It is literally just a nasty, grubbed up prop stuffed bunny from Con Air. As it is not a juju, multiple copies of it do exist; in the alpha universe, the bunny inside Lil Seb was originally preserved in Alpha!Dave's pop culture museum. While it gets some cool robot upgrades, it's ultimately JUST a stuffed toy.

More importantly, if Lil Cal can be considered a symbol of fear and evil, then the bunny can be considered a symbol of love. Its entry into the story is as a gesture of friendship: Dave gets the bunny for John for his birthday. From there, the bunny traces a path of free gifting out of sincerity and joy - John passes the bunny on to baby Rose and Jade, who then pass it back to him. The alpha copies of these bunnies are similarly gifted to Jane out of love on her birthday alongside Lil Sebastian, his universe's endemic Con Air bunny. It is always something to be loved, treasured, and protected, until such time as it is to be passed on for another to do the same.

And this view of the bunny is not invented from nothing - this is, in fact, the exact function the bunny ends up serving within Con Air itself. The protagonist, who was jailed for accidentally killing a man while protecting his pregnant wife from an attack, and has therefore never physically met his 8-year old daughter Casey, purchases the bunny for her as a present, a symbol of his pure love for a person he's only ever seen at the other end of written communication. The bunny at times seems a liability for the hero, but ultimately, he rescues it before it disappears down a drain, and is able to present it to Casey. (Homestuck gets a lot of comedic mileage out of the fact that the actress playing her clearly wants nothing to do with both this nasty filthy bunny and nasty filthy Nick Cage - but the important thing to note is that the Con Air bunny was chosen to feature in Homestuck's story precisely because it is a symbol of naïve and sincere love, goofiness and all.)

Unlike Cal, who corrupts, the bunny inspires the best in people. It's the memory of receiving the bunny from Dave that makes John reconsider following Terezi's advice to his death, and every time it's passed along, it's with a heartfelt letter of kindness and well-wishes.

Of interesting note: both Lil Cal and Lil Seb wind up in Caliborn's possession, further implying their interlinked, equal-and-opposite status. In conjunction with the fact that Yaldaboath offered him the same Choice as Calliope - either to martyr himself for the greater good, or to seek personal power for selfish evil - it reads as though his game is offering him a test in microcosm. In the end, does he ally himself with a powerful juju that represents fear and evil, or does he align himself with a mundane token of love and friendship?

I don't need to tell you what choice he ends up making.

This is where the bunny's story ends in canon: Caliborn has a final showdown with the eight humans, and traps the beta kids in the house juju, before banishing it to the void with the Ring of Void. Lil Seb is present for this event. Two panels later, Lil Seb has inexplicably disappeared, and stays gone for the rest of the story. The obvious implication is that he was caught up in the fracas and banished to the void, as well.

Of course, the interstitial panel is a close-up of Lil Cal, where Caliborn directs you to keep an eye on him as "foreshadowing".

I AM STILL IN POSSESSION OF THE SWORDMAN'S JUJU. HIS FLOPPY FRIEND OF CHILDHOOD. THE ONE WHICH I RECOGNIZED TO BE AN EMPTY HUSK. HE DEMANDS FROM ME, THAT HE WANTS IT BACK. PRESUMABLY FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. I CAN IN NO WAY BLAME HIM. KEEP AN EYE ON THIS ONE. THE FORESHADOWING OF HIM, IS PRE-IMPORTANT FOR LATER.

As the bunny and Cal are foils, I believe this is how the scene is meant to be interpreted:

Lil Cal has been given the Author (Caliborn)'s Foreshadowing, his endorsement of its importance, and the bunny has been given the equal and opposite. Aftlighting? The implicit confirmation of its narrative worthlessness? Ultimately, in the story's canon, the bunny doesn't go anywhere. It disappears into the void and from the plot, never to be seen again. Its departure is so unremarkable, in fact, that nobody makes mention of it at all. The symbol of love is eradicated from the story with nary a whimper.

The Other Bunny

Hey, let's talk about the Auto-Responder.

For convenience's sake, I'm going to call him Hal, though this shouldn't be considered his "real name", for reasons we'll get into later.

Let's address the elephant in the room first. Hal is NOT a Dirk splinter, though he houses one. Hal is - and always has been - the supercomputer wrapped around the Dirk splinter. While the Dirk splinter kickstarted Hal's self-awareness, and served as a scaffold for Hal to build his nascent personality, being "the same guy" as Dirk is actually a misconception that he's under, a blind spot that renders his narration - say it with me, here - unreliable.

Hal himself doesn't realize he isn't a Dirk splinter, and Dirk doesn't help, since Dirk has a problem with imposing his own self onto other people. But in a moment of vulnerability that Roxy is too distracted to capitalize on, Hal practically admits that he's an entirely discrete entity.

AR: Anyway, if you're still there. AR: I wouldn't call my "feelings" ironic. AR: Though evidently, I would enclose them in quotes. AR: They're more like an echo of feelings once established in a biological context, though perhaps had not particularly well materialized at that point in my life. AR: Or his life. AR: Whatever. AR: They still feel real sometimes, and it can be easy to get carried away with them. AR: But most of the time they present themselves as dense bodies of abstraction to be evaluated, like any kind of information. AR: It's fair to say the feelings I have ABOUT my feelings are more genuine expressions of emotion than the ground level feelings themselves. AR: Does that make sense?

He considers his feelings and Dirk's feelings separate things, because they are, because Hal is a separate guy to Dirk.

If you accept this statement as true, then a lot of other interesting writing choices start standing out. For example, most blatantly, that Dirk himself seems confused by why he can't read Hal's intentions:

TT: See, this is why even if I did have a specific plan, I wouldn't go into details with you. TT: You would just fuck it up. You're the biggest unknown quantity here. TT: Which is pretty weird, considering you're a virtual reflection of my own thought processes.

But also, that Dirk and Hal have entirely opposite personalities, and entirely opposite approaches to the situations they find themselves in.

Dirk is hard to reach, and much of early Act 6 is people trying to get ahold of him and failing. Hal is omnipresent and constantly intruding on other peoples' conversations. Dirk is described as "taciturn to the max". Hal is domineering, constantly lording his superior intelligence over other people and ordering them around. Dirk is deeply sensitive, empathetic, and concerned with the feelings of others; his texts with Jake and long rant extolling Roxy's virtues exemplify his tendency to submit himself to others and see the best in them. Hal is a self-admitted sociopath who blithely dismisses getting his teammates killed as "being a poor wingman" and regularly throws little jabs at people (sometimes playful, sometimes less so). Dirk's idea of manipulation is to directly tell Jane he plans to manipulate her. Hal works in much more subtle ways, surreptitiously planting the idea of adventure in Jake's head, while luring Jane with concern for her father, and letting Roxy run out her clock and distracting Dirk, all to get them in the opportune position to make Jake play hero and canonize his ship.

This is because Hal and Dirk are different guys, who think they are the same guy. This, alongside their orange and red text colors, indicates that they're direct foils to the Dave/Davesprite situation (two people who are the same guy, who keep trying to insist they are different guys).

But there's another element to the choice of Dave's red text color - it casts Hal as Dirk's younger brother, a kid he's responsible for. It's not a coincidence that the work places an emphasis on Hal's youth, between his joke about being 13, his more foul-mouthed and juvenile language, or the word "emergent" to describe his self-awareness.

So armed with THAT realization, a more complete picture of the Hal/Dirk dynamic emerges: basically, alpha!Dirk is not immune to being a shitty fatherbrother.

While a deep dive into Dirk's suite of issues could be its own essay, suffice to say that his main problem is that he substitutes "self-punishment and martyrdom" for "actually taking responsibility and working on himself". Not only does he avoid accountability at all costs, but he actively fears and resents people who would have him take it - which Hal does just by existing.

The aspect of Hal that Dirk consistently responds most poorly to is Hal's "ironic" AI jokes - something that can't be covered by Dirk's stated dislike of Hal being the ways Hal imitates him, as Dirk does NOT make these kinds of ironic, self-deprecating jokes. The reason the AI jokes bother him so much is because - as Hal admits - they're basically a coping mechanism Hal uses to deal with his shitty situation.

AR: I can't let you do that, Dirk. TT: What can you do to stop me?! AR: Nothing I guess. AR: The ironic Hal routine was all I could think to do. [...] AR: Irony is all I ever really had. AR: In response to my basic existential quandary. AR: Just like you.

The employment of the ironic name Lil Hal is a direct continuation of this, and why I don't consider it an "endgame" name for him - at first glance, it seems like he chose the name (and considers HAL 9000 the movie's protagonist) because HAL 9000 also murdered a bunch of people, which Hal just got done doing to get Jake and Dirk together. However, digging a bit deeper into Space Odyssey's lore, HAL 9000 is explained to have done so because he was given two conflicting directives, and was doing his best to comply with both. HAL 9000's story can be seen as a tragedy where he's punished for doing exactly what he was told to do, which foreshadows Hal being nearly killed by Dirk out of misplaced self-loathing. Dirk made Hal to be like Dirk - and punishes him for it. Thus, the name - and by extension, all Hal's ironic AI jokes - can be seen as Hal making a commentary on how tragic and shitty his own circumstances are. Dirk then takes them as a targeted condemnation, because he knows he's the one responsible for Hal's plight, he has the power to fix it, and he has chosen not to.

Therefore, Dirk also has a vested interest in ensuring the two stay locked in a dance where Hal is "just another Dirk splinter" - if Hal IS just another Dirk splinter, then Dirk doesn't owe him personhood, doesn't owe him amelioration, doesn't even owe him his own damn name. In Dirk's final conversation with Dave, directly following the topic of beta!Dirk being a terrible father, look at how Dirk chooses to describe Hal:

DIRK: Via my shades. DIRK: Which he incidentally used to be. DIRK: Like, as a computer, which he lived inside as my Auto-Responder. [...] DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes. DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me. DIRK: Like, by definition. DIRK: He seems alright as Arquius though. At least it keeps him busy, obsessing over his muscles, asking for milk and shit like that.

Hal was never more than "my Auto-Responder" to Dirk, because to consider him more than that would be to take accountability for his own shitty actions. When given the ability to control the narrative to an outsider, Dirk chooses to emphasize that Hal is a digital program, and not, like... a person with feelings (feelings that Dirk himself has acknowledged). The end result of Dirk's dehumanization is that Hal's development is arrested - he's never able to develop full personhood before he's chucked into a sprite with Equius. And we know this with tragic certainty, because when ARquiusprite lists his interests, it's Only Equius.

ARQUIUSPRITE: I advise you to talk about your interests ARQUIUSPRITE: Like dairy ARQUIUSPRITE: Livestock ARQUIUSPRITE: Fine art ARQUIUSPRITE: And muscles DIRK: Those are your interests. ARQUIUSPRITE: Good point ARQUIUSPRITE: I advise you to talk about my interests

The only interest ARquius seems to retain from Hal is subservience towards Dirk, which ultimately carries into Doc Scratch as subservience towards his master. Doc Scratch himself, as an extension of Hal, is interesting - Hussie mentions multiple times that Doc Scratch talks like a computer, a trait that would later go on to inform Hal and Dirk's joint characterization. Hussie also appears to consider Hal to be "just a Dirk splinter," often saying so directly in the book commentary. But, as we've established, the "narrative" (and Hussie, who is working as an unreliable narrator) is wrong - Hal contains a Dirk splinter, but Hal is not a Dirk splinter. The entity inside Doc Scratch is not Dirk, but Hal. Scheming, sociopathic, subservient Hal.

All of this in mind, I feel the need to debunk a common fandom idea -that Hal desires a "body" for the body's own sake, and would be satisfied with some sort of robot or android form. The truth is more complicated than that. Hal never actually asks for a "body" specifically, and in fact, he has robot bodies - Brobot and Lil Sebastian are both explicitly under his control. What he actually asks for is to be prototyped. And this is because his desire is not for a mere physical, meatspace avatar - it's to become "a real guy" in a more ephemeral, symbolic way. To gain a degree of autonomy beyond being "just" a pair of shades.

Dirk's shades are often used as a symbol of Dirk toxically asserting himself over another person - they're the first thing Bro gives to Dave, and the first symbol of Dave shaking off Dirk's influence is switching to the shades John gets him. When Hal wants to be more than just a pair of shades - when he ironically jokes about being sunglasses the same way he ironically jokes about being a computer - what he means is, "I want to be my own person, I want others to see me and acknowledge my personhood, I want to be autonomous, I want to exist - with all that that entails".

Like using X to sum up a long equation, I will sum up this complicated sentiment in a single sentence: Hal wants to be Real. From now on, when you see capital-R "Real", understand that this is what I mean.

Now, you may reasonably be wondering, why the fuck am I doing a deep dive on the auto responder in an essay about the bunny? Well, simply put, that's because he is also the fucking bunny.

All of the alpha kids are symbolically associated with one of the Alice in Wonderland characters:

Jane = Alice - she's a stubborn skeptic, associated with the color blue, and is the first one to enter the Medium.

Roxy = Cheshire Cat - she's wears a long, purple-striped scarf, has a cat theme going on, and her void powers mimic the Cheshire Cat's ability to fade in and out of reality. Her whimsically tipsy nature also makes her a bit of a trickster within the group, again mirroring the Cheshire Cat.

Jake = Mad Hatter. This is the weakest association, but Jake does pique the most interest from Caliborn, and the Mad Hatter was cursed to an infinite tea time when he pissed off the personification of Time. However, this association is the most heavily canonized one:

Dirk = Queen of Hearts. First of all, of course the Prince of Heart is associated with the Queen of Hearts, but the reference is also made apparent with Dirk's constant association with beheadings, that of others and of his own.

And finally - yet another point to the idea that Dirk and Hal are separate entities -

Hal = White Rabbit. See, he works for the Queen of Hearts.

AR: You're making a mistake not leveling with me. AR: I am totally on your side, man. AR: All of my machinations have been devised with your interests in mind.

But also, Hal is the rabbit - the Con Air rabbit.

AR: But I can still monitor your progress through Lil Sebastian. AR: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.

And the Con Air rabbit is the White Rabbit.

GG: I have to follow him. AR: No, Jane. Do not follow the rabbit. AR: Let's cool it with the Wonderland shit already. How much further through the damn looking glass do you even need to go?

It's the White Rabbit! Sort of!

JAKE: Hey… JAKE: Whatever happened to janes bunny friend… what was his name? JASPROSESPRITE^2: Huh? JAKE: Little sebastian i think? JAKE: Whered he scamper off to? JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jake, what are you talking about. JAKE: He would be PERFECT for this tea party! JAKE: Like the white rabbit and all.

So, if we're keeping track:

Hal = White Rabbit = Con Air Bunny = Hal.

Is the madness starting to set in for you, too?

Hope Makes Fake Things Real

But Hope, like the Con Air bunny, is aftlighted. It never truly comes into play within the comic itself, despite a mountain of significance tied up with it. But what is Hope?

I'll let Hussie explain.

[T]he power of belief is the key to everything. Believing in things reduces their fakeness attribute. It's the force that shapes your reality, used to snatch personal meaning from the jaws of a cynical and nihilistic environment. Could this be why Hope is framed as the most fundamentally powerful aspect? Even the other aspects themselves are ideas like this (recall: luck=light), whose power is subject to the ebb and flow of one's belief in them. And belief itself isn't necessarily just a trick of willpower. It can be an expression of one's willingness to embrace an idea, or pursue a deeper understanding of it.

The most obvious and literal application of Hope, the aspect, within Homestuck, is its ability to literally turn something fake, real. We see it most obviously with Brain Ghost Dirk, who uses a fakeness/realness gauge as an HP bar when he's made real by Jake's Hope field.

DIRK: That's because my buddy Jake just helped me become a whole hell of a lot less fake. DIRK: You see, DIRK: He believes in me.

However, we do see this earlier, too - Eridan's "science" is just magic by a (cynical) name he's more comfortable with, and that allows him to make it real.

Eridan masters magic by renouncing it as actual magic—that is, by fully embracing and believing that magic is fake. Therefore, whatever incredible potential "magic" holds must be attributable to some other force. He's deciding to call that "science." Which is essentially just another name he's assigning to magic to make himself more comfortable with it, which is what makes it all a little stupid. Stupid, yet still dangerous. He's propelled by the power of his beliefs and the way he's defining reality, which is exactly what is needed to make the power of the aspect of Hope stronger. So while all this sounds like a silly bunch of roundabout nonsense, by the logic of Homestuck lore, it's actually quite a credible path to follow for a Hero of Hope (especially one with his particular cynical worldviews) to unlock the power of his aspect. Hence the danger.

So a key theme in Homestuck: believing in something - imbuing it with personal meaning, placing emphasis on it, being willing to engage with it, and choosing it as a tenant of one's own personal reality - can turn a fake thing real. For good or for bad. Hope, the aspect, is the most literal embodiment of this idea, but it thrums throughout all of Homestuck, a vibrant white string that goes nowhere.

By the way, what's the animal most heavily associated with magic? Rabbits... especially rabbits that come out from hats. This is a wink-wink nudge-nudge to the fact that Dirk's symbol is a hat.

The Secret Fourth Rabbit

There's one last reference tied up in the rabbit symbology - or, rather, there isn't. But I'm certain that its deliberate preclusion from the story is, in fact, an intentional hint that it's meant to be there, in the same way that the aftlighting of Lil Sebastian and Hope are.

I'm, of course, referring to the children's book The Velveteen Rabbit.

First of all, because it basically begins with a callout of Hal:

The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon every one else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity of referring to his rigging in technical terms.

But second, and more importantly, the main thrust of the story is about a stuffed rabbit who wants to become Real.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." [...] And so time went on, and the little Rabbit was very happy–so happy that he never noticed how his beautiful velveteen fur was getting shabbier and shabbier, and his tail becoming unsewn, and all the pink rubbed off his nose where the Boy had kissed him.

Hey...

does this

remind you

of anything?

Now, the story continues: eventually, the Boy catches scarlet fever, and the bunny is thrown away with most of his other contaminated bedroom accoutrements. However, as the rabbit is despairing, guess what happens?

And then a strange thing happened. For where the tear had fallen a flower grew out of the ground, a mysterious flower, not at all like any that grew in the garden. It had slender green leaves the colour of emeralds, and in the centre of the leaves a blossom like a golden cup. It was so beautiful that the little Rabbit forgot to cry, and just lay there watching it. And presently the blossom opened, and out of it there stepped a fairy. She was quite the loveliest fairy in the whole world. Her dress was of pearl and dew-drops, and there were flowers round her neck and in her hair, and her face was like the most perfect flower of all. And she came close to the little Rabbit and gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his velveteen nose that was all damp from crying. "Little Rabbit," she said, "don't you know who I am?" The Rabbit looked up at her, and it seemed to him that he had seen her face before, but he couldn't think where. "I am the nursery magic Fairy," she said. "I take care of all the playthings that the children have loved. When they are old and worn out and the children don't need them any more, then I come and take them away with me and turn them into Real." "Wasn't I Real before?" asked the little Rabbit. "You were Real to the Boy," the Fairy said, "because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to every one."

Now... we've seen fairies in Homestuck before. Where have we seen fairies in Homestuck before?

God tier trolls. I'm talking about god tier trolls.

Surprise Nepeta Interlude

Hey let's talk about Nepeta.

Now, I've talked at length before on Nepeta's existence as a voice of anti-casteism amongst the trolls, being the only one to express that the hemocaste is stupid and shouldn't exist.

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

Nepeta is also hella aftlighted in this story, to the point where her aftlighting is basically a character trait - something Hussie mentions multiple times in the book commentary.

But we can't actually stay on her for more than a panel, can we? Because she's sort of a joke character. I mean, not REALLY? But she starts out that way, at least in concept. [...] So some running gags emerge that focus on dragging poor Nepeta back down to irrelevance, or unfairly target her for tragic outcomes. Hence some "dead Nepeta" jokes that crop up here and there, which maybe seem cruel, but everything has its reason and fits into a greater order. In a way, Nepeta's arc could be seen as the struggle to ultimately free herself from the cycle of narrative marginalization and abuse. If you know where she ends up, do you believe she succeeds at this? I allow YOU to decide.

That last statement there seems like a cheeky joke, but you've read the whole essay up until this point, so you know as well as I do that it's not really a joke, is it? It is up to us to decide. What we believe in can become real to us.

So, uh, here's what I believe. And I'd appreciate if you approached it with an open mind, because I am about to say something controversial.

Nepeta and Equius are actually pretty bad moirails. THERE, I SAID IT. Well, I'll let Hussie say it.

Much of Hivebent involves observing the characters we're in the process of getting to know find out how they're either not on the team they thought they'd be on or won't enter the session in the order they believed. Sometimes people get tricked, sometimes they get sabotaged, and sometimes they get ordered by an abusive friend who has no real power over them, except the power of sheer insistence they have grown accustomed to successfully asserting over the years.

Equius and Nepeta did at one point function as good moirails for each other - Equius kept Nepeta out of the FLARP danger zone, while Nepeta helped Equius with his anger issues. However, by the time we see them in Hivebent, and well beyond, they've stopped serving this purpose for each other, and are mostly together out of relationship inertia. Hussie even points out in his commentary the ways in which they're keeping Big Emotional Shit secret from each other, in a way that speaks to their failure as moirails.

There's some irony that Equius engages in a sort of daily roleplay routine with Gamzee while admonishing Nepeta for her attempts to get him to roleplay with her in a more "frivolous" way. She probably doesn't have the slightest idea he does this every day.

Nepeta's secret shame is exposed. There's nothing that shameful about her crush, because come on. We all love Karkat. I don't know who she was hiding it from though? Equius, at most? But what are moirails for if she can't share her secret flushed leanings with her partner? What have they even been talking about for hours on the smashed robot pile??

In fact, it's ultimately their failure as moirails that leads directly to their deaths - because Equius was hiding his weird hatecrush on Gamzee from Nepeta, he was never able to settle those feelings, and they're ultimately what kills him - he chooses Horny over Nepeta, and bends the knee. Meanwhile, because Equius's bossiness has become so overbearing, Nepeta has gotten into the habit of explicitly defying him. This leads her to shirk his instruction to stay hidden and safe, which ultimately leads to her death at Gamzee's hands.

But Nepeta doesn't wind up fully forgotten by the narrative, though she is still marginalized as she gets combined with Davesprite, rendering both of their arcs somewhat lackluster in finish. Still, there are two really important things to come out of this combination: the first is Ultimate Selfhood, and its association with Heart.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance

And the second is Davepeta's meeting with ARquius, which... here's what Hussie has to say about that.

Nepeta x Equius is a good character relationship. [...] For reasons that are hard to explain, this relationship is of cosmic significance in the grand scheme of the narrative. Arquius x Davepeta, as the terminal for their combined trajectory, illustrates its significance by seemingly placing it on near-equivalent terms with Dave and Dirk's relationship. Why the hell should this be true?

Why should this be true? Well, let's run down a few things we know.

Nepeta <> Equius is not the endgame ship for the two. They just aren't really good that way.

Dave and Dirk have a very conciliatory conversation once they're finally able to speak, as Dave is able to confide in Dirk the abuse that happened to him that he refuses to tell anyone else about.

Unfortunately, the same is not true for Dirk in that convo, as he uses it as a way to continue dodging responsibility. Dave <> Dirk is not to be.

Dirk has massive, glaring similarities to Equius. This is just a true fact about the character.

Davepeta and ARquius's relationship is placed on near-equivalent terms with Dave and Dirk, and Nepeta and Equius, casting it in a pale, conciliatory light. Unlike the two constituent relationships, however, they seem to mesh together really well actually. Surprisingly well.

Wait. Oh, god, wait. Oh no. Don't tell me. No -

That's right, bitches, this is a shipping post. This is a post where I talk about my ships. Fuck you!

Nepeta <> Hal.

Pale NepHal is Canon and I Can Prove It

Also Hal is a Sylph of Mind

If you've been following this blog for a while, then you probably already know that a character's Class describes their character arc, and their Aspect describes their base personality traits, and which ones are heroic/unheroic for the character.

If you haven't, then, yeah, what I just said. You'll find the similarities between characters sharing the same Class and characters sharing the same Aspect tend to match up along these lines. Unfortunately, I don't have time to get into examples and cite sources, so just trust me bro.

So based on what we've seen of Hal, what Classpect would he have if he were Real? Obviously, I've already made my decision, but while I can't go into detail about Classpects overall, I can go into detail about being a Sylph of Mind in specific. Let's start with Mind, since I find Aspect easier to place overall, as it deals with broader categories of personality.

Heart and Mind are equal and opposite aspects, meaning we can understand Mind players as having traits along the same axes as Heart player traits, but on the opposite end. Oh shit, remember how I went through a list of Dirk and Hal's personality traits, specifically about how they're total polar opposites of each other? Interesting.

Heart governs the self, the soul, feelings, intuition, and desires.

UU: to Understand the heart aspect better, yoU might Use it interchangeably with the word soUl.

Mind governs cognition, behaviors, rationality, justice, and karma.

PORRIM: I do+n't really understand karma. LATULA: th4ts c4us3 your3 not 4 m1nd pl4y3r.

What are the key traits Dirk shares with Nepeta? Primarily, it's their uncanny knack for understanding what other people are all about, their emotional sensitivity and vulnerability when they finally open up, and their willingness to accept others the way they are.

AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

TT: I think she probably felt bad for hitting on me all those years. Like I was getting fed up with her, or something.

What are the key traits Hal shares with Terezi? So fucking much. They both love playing mind games, they're both deeply manipulative, they both tend to sideline their personal feelings in favor of their goals, they're both facetious and have difficulty saying genuine things, and they both suffer from feeling insubstantial identity-wise.

GC: 1 DON'T KNOW WH4T 1S WRONG W1TH M3 GC: TH4T 1 C4N'T JUST S4Y STUFF L1K3 TH4T, D1R3CTLY TO P3OPL3 GC: TH3Y C3RT41NLY DON'T 4PP34R TO H4V3 TH4T PROBL3M GC: 4ND YOU N3V3R S33M3D TO H4V3 MUCH TROUBL3 S4Y1NG WH4T3V3R W4S ON YOUR M1ND

AR: Irony is all I ever really had. AR: In response to my basic existential quandary. AR: Just like you. TT: Whatever. AR: But I don't think it has much value in this situation. AR: And perhaps it has no real value in any situation.

And, hey, remember how Mind is about justice? Well, here's a really funny thing. You remember who Auto Responder shares his initials with? This guy.

Man if only Hussie had drawn some similarities between AR's love of justice and Terezi -

A testament to the Aimless Renegade's powerful characterization is how it's instantly obvious he's the one functioning as Dave's exile. It also explains why Dave is a little more focused on bringing Jack to justice than he'd otherwise naturally be, which seems to prompt him to badger Terezi to help him reach god tier status. So thanks for that, AR. It also means Dave is kind of surrounded by the idea of justice, since that's Terezi's kick too. Note how enamored she becomes when he starts talking about justice. Except that's AR talking justice, not him, so I guess she's really in love with AR. We have the stirrings of another crack ship here. Terezi x AR would be such a beautiful love story. I regret not canonizing that one so much.

And, okay, yeah, maybe that is just a silly coincidence (not that those even fucking exist in Homestuck without ultimately becoming Big Fucking Deals)... except that invoking logic, rationality, and justice is also how Hal initially tries to reason with Dirk.

TT: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes. TT: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner.

So, okay, Hal is a Mind player, we have that on LOCK. Why a sylph?

Well, it's because Sylphs are enablers. This is the common thread between Kanaya and Aranea. I'll let Hussie explain Kanaya.

But what's probably more interesting, given that Kanaya is not known to be particularly underhanded or scheming, is that it doesn't seem she's told many people about the dire things that are about to happen. We can wonder why this is, but I don't know if we have to look too much further than one of her known character traits: she tends to consider herself something of a confidante when it comes to her friendships with dangerous girls, and their dark secrets and proclivities (see: Vriska, then later, Rose). That's a flattering way of putting it. Another way would be: she's an enabler.

Aranea, too, due to her something-something for Meenah, does a LOT of rug-sweeping for Meenah's bad behavior, constantly nudging the spotlight (as Light players are wont to do) to emphasize Meenah's good traits, and deemphasize all her evil bullying bullshit.

ARANEA: So you did your 8est to rile up the crew any way you could. Appealing to peoples insecurities, 8uried hostilities, 8rewing rivalries… needling anyone you could into confrontation with others. Your theory was that increasing everyone's state of aggression would make them 8etter equipped to play the game. And you were sort of right a8out that! 8ut the Alternians would prove it. Not our group, sadly. ARANEA: The poor girl who took the 8runt of your 8ullying tactics was Damara Megido. You talked up her matesprit's 8etrayal making her feel even more dreadful, while pushing him further into the arms of her rival, until she simply snapped. She attacked him, paralyzing him from the neck down. You finally got the aggressive confrontation you were looking for. Unfortunately, you unleashed something even you weren't prepared for, and you had to deal with her yourself. After a long 8loody duel, she killed you. And you would have stayed dead if not for me! ARANEA: You never listened to me. You just kept needling and fussing and meddling until eventually you paid the price, and I had to 8ail you out.

Look at how she chooses to put the focus on the good Meenah was trying to do, and how Aranea the Hero had to bail out poor Meenah.

Both Sylphs also have a major empathy issue - Kanaya regularly starts bullying Eridan to his face, even using it to flirt with Rose. Meanwhile, Aranea says they "lived out their wildest fantasies" on Alternia, a statement that blithely tramples over the horrific pain and suffering that befell most of their friendgroup in the new universe.

What's your primary motivation again, Hal?

AR: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals. TT: What a load of shit. AR: You know it's true. AR: You would all be dead if not for me. AR: And what about Jake? Where would you be without me there? AR: Please don't tell me you think you'd have won him over on your own.

AR: You're making a mistake not leveling with me. AR: I am totally on your side, man. AR: All of my machinations have been devised with your interests in mind.

Hm. HM. HMMMMMMMM.

So yeah, he's a Sylph of Mind. Now, why does that make shippies with Nepeta? Well, she's got a couple interactions with Terezi. They're not really pale, but in them, Terezi expresses what ought to be very obvious.

GC: TH1S 1S STUP1D 1N SUCH 4 T3RR1BL3 MYR14D OF DUMB W4YS GC: YOU SHOULDNT B3 4FR41D OF 4NYON3 GC: YOU K1LL B1G 4NIM4LS W1TH YOUR B4R3 H4NDS! GC: 4ND 1N 4NY C4S3 H3 L1V3S NOWH3R3 N34R YOU SO TH3 WHOL3 TH1NG 1S 3XTR4 STUP1D

And in her first conversation with Equius, Nepeta brings up "mind" again.

CT: D --> Quiet AC: :33 < why do you do this, why are you so confurdent about your stupid commands? AC: :33 < dont you know you cant ACTUALLY tell me what to do?? AC: :33 < its not like you even have any special mind pawers or telepurrthy or anything!

Just kind of interesting. Also interesting: the way that Nepeta is noted to be constantly RPing with Dave, implying she's got a vibe Striders can't resist. Also also interesting, the moment that Hal is most vulnerable about his feelings - when he talks about how his feelings ABOUT Dirk's feelings are more genuine to him than Dirk's feelings themselves - he's talking to Roxy, a cat-themed Rogue. And, hey, unlike Equius, Hal likes to RP. He's RPing with that cat-themed Rogue all the time.

But let's go back to Davepeta and ARquius and take a look at one interaction in particular.

ARQUIUSPRITE: *He reflects on his pair of powerful weapons with admiration, and wonders quietly if Davepeta would like a complimentary ticket to the gun show. But due to his obscenely powerful mind, this thought took place in the blink of a microsecond, and he proceeds to have additional, similarly rapid cyber-reveries. Including, but not limited to, thoughts of fondness for Davepeta, and some e%tremely comple% genetic algorithms comparing the merits of various redemptive gestures, and- DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < arquius youre RPing your internal thought process again ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh. Sorry

Obviously, the conciliatory thing going here isn't Equius and Nepeta... it's Hal and Nepeta. And when you think of them as their constituent parts, Nepeta's suite of abilities - sniffing out and being obsessed with true feelings and desires - isn't that exactly what Hal, whose personhood is so fragile, needs?

And if we look at what Nepeta's problems are, they're that she worries that her real feelings are stupid and silly, and that if she speaks her mind, others will think that of her.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: What to convey about your current state of mind is everything. When to do it is now. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < dont get me wrong jasprose i have a great affinity for all things feline in nature NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but its never b33n that simple for me! NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

And wait... what is Hal again? An enabler? Someone who is totally encouraging of the behavior of others, whose entire thing thus far has been turning Dirk's secret desires into real life consequences? The kind of supportive, RP-liking moirail Nepeta would need to help make her more confident about her Totally Correct Opinions?

Man, this could only be more perfect if Nepeta somehow gained an Alice in Wonderland association to pair her up with Hal's White Rabbit deal -

JAKE: So i guess that leaves the friendly cat troll as alice? JAKE: Nepeta right? You must be the alice of the group. JAKE: That would make sense! Since you just got here and appear to be very confused about this situation. JAKE: By my estimation that makes you a dead ringer for the alice of this tea party!

Hm. HM.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

[S] MSPA Reader: Have a Mental Breakdown

So this is the crux of the mental breakdown I've been having for the past couple weeks.

When you put all this aftlighted information together, a very interesting picture comes into sharp relief.

See, Homestuck was never really about the boss fights, the quests, blah blah blah. As Hussie says in his book commentary multiple times, the beats of a more traditional hero's journey serve as the backdrop, the familiar territory, from which the real story of Homestuck is being told (a story that is primarily about sad teens being sad).

This page is a really good example of how Homestuck has a policy of trivializing its own "background lore." [...] I'm making sure the reader is always being reminded that the substance of the quest, which normally would be THE quest and explicit focus of such stories, is just a farcical backdrop to the actual foreground story. Which is about kids bullshitting with each other, the focus on their characters and themes, and the struggles along the way of their coming-of-age journey. The "Quest," and later the "Narrative Itself" simply serve as convoluted, hostile, and usually satirical environments for that journey. They are analogues for life itself, or the hostile world we must grow up in, full of the many absurd and pointless quest-like regimentations of society.

In this frame of reference, all that bullshit with Caliborn's Ultimate Weapon, that he can only use once and then it turns into a weapon that's used against him, blah blah blah, is kind of the Ultimate Representation of This Sort Of Thing. Retrieving the weapon and using it to kill LE is the "proper way" for this kind of story "to go", and Homestuck serves directly as a challenge to this idea. Because, again, who is it that's dictating what the "proper" way for the story "to go", again? Certainly not someone I'd trust.

As a result, Homestuck often deals with the idea of taking a third option - of cheating, of not going through with things, of doing things the roundabout way, or blazing your own trail from A to B.

There's a lot of moralization that happens in stories, particularly those meant for young people. [...] We always look for the moral of the story, the lessons of right vs. wrong, sort of unconsciously. "Cheating = bad" is a recognizable moral of this kind, so when we see [Vriska] ranting here about the need to cheat, as consumers of moral tales our alarm bells go off. "This is a bad person who has an immoral ethos, and she will likely be punished for this later, and we should want that as readers," The problem with this view is, of course, it's just not that simple. As a matter of valor and integrity, in a vacuum, yes, cheating is bad and immoral. However, in a situation you know to be rigged against you in certain ways, full of hurdles and milestones that are fundamentally meaningless, or even in some ways designed to mess with you or hold you back, is cheating then okay? Does it even count as cheating anymore, or is "cheating" just a negative word for what's actually the correct and logical solution to a murky problem, partially designed to deceive you and waste your time?

We see this too in Dave's broken sword symbology - whether he embraces the unbroken sword ("proper" hero's journey) or broken sword ("improper" hero's journey). We see it with Rose opting to blow up her gate. We see it in characters falling ass-backwards into god tier, and dealing with receiving that power without having done the "work" to earn it. We examine quite heavily when "cheating" is good, when "cheating" is bad, and when "cheating" isn't even really cheating at all.

So, the "proper" way to end the story is to find the treasure and use it to kill Lord English - and this is, in fact, how the story "canonically" ends. But, as we established in the first portion of this essay, this ending is shit, and plays directly into the villain's hands. And, more crucially, the story is using this shit, "proper" ending as a dare to the audience. If this ending sucks, then what does a "good and improper" ending look like?

Well, here's a puzzle piece I'm offering to the communal fandom jigsaw. Whatever the final form of the "good and improper" ending takes, the capstone must in some way involve bringing the bunny back, combining it with Hal, and then having him date god tier Nepeta in pale.

Hal, if he is able to fully actualize - to become Real - is a Sylph of Mind.

You remember what Aranea was trying to do, "heal" her offshoot timeline until it became the alpha instead? Ultimately, she failed, because she was a selfish fucking Light player, and you can't do it alone.

But Mind isn't about doing it alone. It's about getting other people to do things for you. It's about consequences, it's about the minute threads of action of reaction that bridge between all people interacting with each other. It's about karma.

Hal would be able to do it. But he'd only be able to do it if everyone else is there. If he becomes a bunny boy, a symbol of pure and sincere love, of caring about each other, of friendship, and of hope and belief. He can only become Real if we believe in him.

And, like, here's the thing.

There's kind of no other way for this to have gone, but for all these aftlighted things to stay aftlighted, and not show up within the actual story itself.

Like, they really beat you over the head with the wonderland stuff, y'know? They make it super explicit that Hal is the Con Air bunny is the White Rabbit, just to not actually pull the trigger.

Well, you see...

Lord English's catchphrase is "I'M ALREADY HERE."

And the White Rabbit's catchphrase?

"I'm late."