#now you can see all my deranged posts about aki.....

[meownotgood]

The way i binge read ur works omg. I am OBSESSED. I found you on a03 and stumbled across ur blog here and was like "oh shit its you!!"

Anyways ty for the good food ily

welcome to my blog!!! haha I'm glad you like my work, thank you very much ^^

[askaceattorney]

Dear Aki-Chan,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: I love answering letters from The Great Ace Attorney characters because their characters are enjoyable to do. 

As for which characters get asked the most questions, I’d say it’s often the main Ace Attorney Protagonists like Phoenix, Apollo,  Athena and Edgeworth. 

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Guquis,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: 

Fixed it! Though, I am seeing that the links are showing much weirdly on the web browser. place your cursor over the image and click this.

EDIT: This issue seems to have since been fixed.

Mod Justice: I also added the link so that mobile users can click on it too. Hope that helps!

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: No, I didn’t. Sorry.

Co-Mod: Me neither. My reading repertoire is about the same as that of the main character in Doki Doki Literature Club (i.e. very small), and that includes visual novels. I might be tempted to check this one out somewhere down the road, though.

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: I think most people believe it shouldn’t, but the problem is that life is much more complicated than that. If we totally believed to not risk any life for the sake of freedom, then we’d believe the Revolutionary War was immoral and wrong.

What I believe is that none of us should ever wish or have any intention on taking the lives of anyone. With all of that said, if we were ever in a position where we have to defend ourselves from being hurt, cruelly held hostage or any of the sort, then killing the person taking away that kind of freedom should be treated as self-defense. If a massive country were to try to conquer a country, even if no lives were to be lost if the other country surrendered, that country’s people have the right to defend themselves, even at the cost of risking or taking lives. Not because I believe killing is justified, but because we don’t always have a choice. When it’s your life and freedom on the line and the person taking that away from you doesn’t care or won’t listen, there aren’t always better options.

Obviously, if there are better alternatives, take them. Unfortunately, in life, it’s not always as simple as that.

Co-Mod: I...have nothing to add.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Chief Mod Edgeworth:

That was me who answered that one.

Mod Justice:

And why the Bloody Hell would you believe me to write responses while portraying that... DERANGED hospital patient?!

(Seriously, I refused to write any letters addressed to that sonova[CENSORED] for a reason, Goddammit.)

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Speaking of the devil, because we are getting asks like this: 

Chief Mod Edgeworth: No. For one, it’s not just one anonymous person sending letters to Dr. Hotti. It’s three different people. Two common anonymous users that often send letters on here and one with an official account. Second, while they are toing the line of the goal post I already set up, they’re not crossing it. I’d argue that Dawnsongfg went much farther than this. 

This is what I was talking about before when saying that if I was to not allow Dawsongfg to write letters or delete any letters they did, then that goal post is going to move closer and closer to letters that aren’t even that harmful. Now, that Dawsongfg has apologized and tamed up, now you guys are complaining about the second annoying letters on AAA. If I start not allowing these three people to write letters to Dr. Hotti, then the next person you guys will have a problem with will be someone that’s actually going through some irl issues. 

In fact, there is someone toing the line that has an official account and writing strange letters because they're going through some issues. The way I see it, if I don't put my foot down and allow Dr. Hotti letters to go through, you guys are going to complain about this person next. If you must, block out "Director Hotti" from your tags on tumblr. I'd rather these three people be toing the line with Dr. Hotti creepy letters than someone that's actually going through some serious shit. Believe me, Dr. Hotti letters are super easy to answer. 

Dear Dawsongfg,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: I’ve played the RP Ace Attorney Online version.

Co-Mod: I’ve taken a look at it a few times before, but never really got into it. I will say that I love it when fans find creative ways to make content resembling a popular game (provided they use it wisely).

And I agree. Stupid letters gotta go.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Gumshoe “Letty” Fan,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: You are very welcome. Sorry if the first part of your letter is a little blurred.

Co-Mod: Great to hear from you!  I recommend TGAA, personally. You’re very welcome, and thank you for your contribution to this blog and fandom (specifically your enthusiasm). Best of luck in your life, especially when you reach adulthood.  It’s a wild ride, let me tell ya. 😉

(Referenced Letter)

(Video in Letter)

Dear Miraz van Nohrr,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Lolz if only we had the money to make this blog blaze.

Co-Mod: I love it. 😄 I just recently had a moment like that myself, actually:

Dear The-Eevee-Breeder,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: 

Glad to hear from you. Not to say we never do.

Co-Mod:

It’s nice to see you back on Tumblr. Best of luck breeding Eevees!

Dear Gumshoe-letty-fan,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Hm... to be honest, I don’t think there was anything in Ace Attorney that made me cry. Not to say I never get emotional over the stories, but the things that make me cry are... strange. Like I cried in Bridge to Terabithia when Jess punched the bully making fun of him after Leslie’s death.

I did get emotional when Apollo asked for Athena’s trial to continue, because I knew he was dealing with some self doubt. I get emotional over things like that when I foresee things that isn’t told to me such as when Barok became livid the moment he realized that Albert’s invention was fabricated, since that would mean someone was setting up his best friend.

Co-Mod: For me, it was the moment in AAI2 when Edgeworth told Sebastian to believe in himself. Seeing people (even fictional characters) struggle to believe they’re capable of doing what they’re called to do always tugs at my heartstrings.

Mod Justice: Dhurke’s death. Just... Dhurke’s death.

Why did he have to die so soon?!

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Gou Karuma is Manfred von Karma’s original name from the Japanese version of Ace Attorney. He’s actually called Karuma-san or Karuma-sama. That letter had Ryunosuke call him “Gou-kun” to indicate that they had met before when MVK was a kid.

-The Mods

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

Dis(associate) (Head)canons

A little while ago someone asked me for my dis(associate) headcanons (except they’re technically canons bc I’m the writer hdjghjdfg) and I said I would make a separate post later once I remembered all of them, so here it is!! My masterlist of headcanons for Dis(associate)! 

The Instagram face filters still work on Izuku as a ghost so if he’s missing or his body is lying around somewhere, his friends will just carry their phones with the filters on and eventually something’ll pop up on the screen and they’re just like, “Found him.” Izuku’s presence will make TVs go staticy for a while. Ghost lore and whatnot. 

Izuku does favors for the ex-holders. 

“THERE’S A CAT!!”  “Dai we’ve talked about th--”  “PET THE CAT PLEASE I HAVEN’T PET ONE IN DECADES.”  “...Okay I’ll go pet the cat.”

“...Do you want me to straighten that chair?”  “Yes please.” 

Kaminari; *gets low grades* Aki: “Do it.”  Izuku: “No.”  “Just do it.” *sigh* “This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.”  “:D” 

His friends will use him as a reading light because of his eyes. 

Izuku has all these apparently blank photos of scenery in his room and his friends just pass it off as him being a photographer, but they’re actually pictures of the ex-holders that Izuku took that only he can see due to the nature of his Quirk.

Aki doesn’t realize how outdated his memes are. 

Aki doesn’t CARE how outdated his memes are. 

Because of Izuku, though, Class 1-A eventually knows all the “old memes” and they become huge inside jokes to class 1-A because they’re outdated and no one else gets them. 

Sero: “P A T R I C I A.”  Monoma: “What.” 

Izuku CANNOT smile properly as a ghost. His smiles always look twisted and deranged whether or not he wants them to. 

Sometimes these smiles cross over to his physical self as well, to his friends’ dismay. 

Izuku has a closer connection with death thanks to his Quirk, and once One For All gets stronger and he utilizes it better, sometimes he can feel spirits passing on. It doesn’t happen often, but every now and then.

Izuku and Ochako = Puke Buddies. 

Izuku is kind of immune to most anti-nausea pills because he took them so often when he was younger and still getting the hang of his Quirk, but he still carries them around and offers them to Uraraka whenever she needs them. 

The same is kind of true for Uraraka, and she also gives Izuku anti-nausea pills whenever she has some on hand. They’re both pretty immune to them by this point, but it helps take the edge off.

Everyone thinks the Midoriya household is haunted but it's really just Howler opening/cosing doors and turning the lights on and off. 

He doesn’t do it very often but he does like messing with Izuku’s friends so long as they aren’t genuinely frightened. 

Endeavor: *trips* Shouto: *fistbumps the air*

Tokoyami: “I have a shadow creature living inside of me. Do you have any idea how annoying the internal monologue can get?”  Izuku, with seven ghosts in his head constantly commenting/narrating: Izuku, deadpan: That’s horrible. 

And to close: 

Izuku doesn’t know this, but if he wanted to, he could technically summon All For One’s spirit.

[formlesscopycat]

1--50 because I always like learning more bout you guys :PPPPP for xxx, maybe your favorite fic? Or Distance of the Falling Sun :D

Thanks for making me answer all the asks, I really enjoyed doing this, a jog down the memory lane is always beautiful. Also, this gives me a chance to make up for misunderstanding RuRu’s prior request (so sorry, babe).

1) How old were you when youfirst started writing fanfiction?

I started writing headcanonsin my native language when I was 12; I posted my first fic when I was 15.

2) What fandoms do you writefor and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

I’ve written for FinalFantasy VIII (Seinoa, Seifistis), Slam Dunk (SenRu), Lovely Complex (OtaRisa),Kimi no Todoke (Kazehaya/Kuronama) and Wallflower (SunaKyo). I’m currentlywriting for the love of AoKise (Kuroko no Basuke).

3) Do you prefer writing OC’sor reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I prefer OCs. I find readerinserts kinda weird.

4) What is your favouritegenre to write for?

Romantic comedies.

5) If you had to choose afavourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be andwhy?

Love is a Scheme (forWallflower fandom) is my fave multi-chapter that I’ve written. One is becauseI’ve managed to finish writing it and two, it has all my favorite elements:denial of feelings, enemies to lovers, love confessions, meddling friends. Ihad so much fun writing that story and readers have loved it, too.

6) If you had to delete oneof your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Perhaps that lame attempt ata songfic I wrote for Final Fantasy VIII fandom, ugh. No particular plot andinfused with bad grammar. But no matter how much I cringed at my earlierstories, I can’t bring myself to delete them because I still come back to thesefics sometimes if just to see how much I’ve grown as a writer over the years.

7) When is your preferredtime to write?

Daytime.

8) Where do you take yourinspiration from?

Poetry, quotes, metaphors,old songs. Also, from personal experience, sometimes.

9) Inyour [Distance of the Falling Sun] fic, what’s your favourite scene that youwrote?

Two.

The two of them are idiots in love, this, Kise is sure. He lifts hishead and meets Aomine’s face with a smile. Happiness sweeps across Aomine’sfeatures too, as he thumbs softly on the skin under Kise’s eyes, wiping awayhis tears.

“If only you told me sooner,” Aomine tells him with a smirk, theirfaces only inches away from each other.

“Excuse me, but you should’ve said something too.” Kise shoots back.

“Are we bickering again?”

“We’re not.”

(My fave scene because itfeels authentic AoKise, dorkos snapping at each other right after confession>.

10) Inyour [DotFS] fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have analternative ending in mind?

There’s supposed to be a“Zero”, because the prompt is actually, “write a story with a countdown from 10to 0″. I tried to push for it but my sentences refuse to work out so I ended itat one.

11) Have you ever amended astory due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I haven’t.

12) Who is your favouritecharacter to write for? Why?

Currently, it’s Aomine.Ironically, I don’t like him at first but now, I’m totally captivated by thischild, my heart is his. I think he has the best character development in KnB,with that gripping heart-wrenching backstory. I find it easy to write his tendencies and basicways. He’s flawless but at the same time, flawed in so many ways. If I peeloff his layers, I always find wonderful gems. I like going through the heads of flawed characters.

13) Who is your leastfavourite character to write for? Why?

Um, none.

14) Howdid you come up with the title for the [Distance of the Falling Sun]? - You canask about multiple stories.

I wanted to play with metaphors,heh. ‘Distance’ because Kise is chasing after Aomine, always yearning forAomine’s affections and he thinks Aomine is beyond his reach. ‘Falling Sun’because this is really about Kise, ‘burning’ with unrequited feelings.

15) If you write OC’s, how doyou decide on their names?

I take the names of myfavorite characters from other fandoms. For example, in my fic, Where YouBelong, Kise’s father is named ‘Takenaga’, he’s actually from the anime,Wallflower. Aomine’s mom will be named ‘Sayuri’, from Memoirs of a Geisha. Ialso employ the help of Google, to see if the meanings behind the names Ichoose will actually fit my OC.

16) Howdid you come up with the idea for [DotFS]?

I chanced on the prompt onTumblr and immediately, the angst muse overwhelmed me. Also, this doujin. Ijumped on the ‘unrequited love’ theme because it’s something that I personallyexperienced. With this fic, it’s structure first before the plot instead ofvice-versa and that came as a big challenge, I never thought I’d write it down.I only have the shaky idea for ten, three and one but how to fill in the rest,I don’t even know. Months after, the muse have shown mercy.

17) Post a line from a WIPthat you’re working on.

Waiting–he’s done enough of it to endure through its pain, a furnacerefining his patience like silver into flame.

(From ‘Worth the Wait’, anattempt at RinHaru, Idek.)

18) Do you have any abandonedWIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I’ve two. One is an AoKise. Ijust felt like there’s something lacking with the plot and I tried to think ofways to patch things up but sadly, nothing ever seemed to work. It upsets metoo, that I suddenly lost the interest to finish it because I’ve already hit6,000+ words.

19) Are there any storiesthat you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I want to do a sequel for IHear You through these Walls, the Kise side of the story, what he thinks of hiscute neighbor next door and what really happened between him and Haizaki.

Worst Birthday Ever – theAomine and friends part as they plan for Kise’s birthday. While WBE has lightangst, The Making of the Best Birthday Ever will be full of bickering idiots.And a little Aominecchi guiltrip (because of the phone call) will be explored in the sequel.

Rest is for the Weak – Aominecaught the flu because of the kiss. He puts the blame on Kise and  demands for Kise to care for him, too. It’smostly Aho having the time of his life, supremely enjoying Kise’sattention.  

20) Are there any storiesthat you wished you’d ended differently?

In that first fic I’vewritten, the MCs used to be lovers. They had a shot at being together again butin the end, they chose differently and still went their separate ways. I wishthey’ve been together.

21) Tell me about anotherwriter(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

There are so many but I’ll gowith these writers whose stories I always come back to, again and again:

Ashbear (FFVIII, Squinoa) –Writes with superior plot and superior characterization. She’s my childhoodfanfic hero. A decade later, I still find myself re-reading her stories, and onsome occasions, I still leave a comment, a plea, hoping she’ll finish‘Somewhere in Between’.  

Aki Midori (Slam Dunk, SenRu)– I always go back to her deathfics like a deranged masochist. Her storieseffin hurts like hell but so, so addictive.

For KnB, there are too manybut I’m all for these amazecakes authors:

Beautiful Thief (AoKise) – Iowe it to her fics which nurtured and nourished the AoKise monster in me duringits infancy.

DigimonDestined (AoKise) –she weaves beautiful imagery with her words, I’m weak for her rich descriptionsthat put me right into the heart of the situation and into the big mood.

dawnstruck (AoKise) – shewrites with short sentences but her writing style has this magical allure to itthat drives all the feels home.

Himi (KagaKise) – writes withlovely, complicated and realistic emotions that are eye-opening and gutwrenching.

22) Do you have a story thatyou look back on and cringe when you reread it?

The first two fics I’vewritten. It’s a wonder how readers have endured and managed to leave some nicewords.

23) Do you prefer listeningto music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Hush, I need Silence.

24) How do you feel aboutwriting smutty scenes?

I haven’t tried, heh, andjust thinking about it makes me uncomfortable primarily because I can’t bringto words something that I have very little knowledge and experience of. I maytry to do some research but I don’t think it’ll come as authentic if my heart’snot really into it. I can insinuate love making but to go into the territories ofexplicit, I’ll have to pass ;D Even as a reader, I shy away from E-ratedstories. When I make rare exceptions, I skip the smut or I don’t dwell too longon these parts of the story. I’m pretty much contented with my ships being allkissy-kissy and touchy-feely when they get physical.

25) Have you ever criedwhilst writing a story?

Yes, because I can’t describea scene that’s just so vivid in my head. I see my words and shat, I want toshoot myself.

26) Which part of your [DotFS]fic was the hardest to write?

Eight, Seven, Four. At four,dammit, I’m almost done! Something has to be written, something has to work.Luckily, four walls of the empty room, heh.

27) Do you make a generaloutline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I make a general outline, Ineed to see the full picture before I get myself invested in a plot. I workwith tunnel vision, slowly from the ground up. There has to be a working title,too, before I get past 500 words.

28) What is something youwished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

That consistency in verbtenses matter.

29) Do you have a story thatyou feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I would want all of mystories to get so much love heh, but setting aside my weaknesses as a writer, I’vealways been drawn to small, semi-active or defunct fandoms so my expectationsaren’t really that high…As long as I’m getting some, I’ve been happy with thelove I get.

30) In contrast to 29 isthere a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

I’ve breached lewd levels withMy Favorite Costume but then, I’m glad it got nice loving from readers.

31) Send me a ficrecommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to sendthe rec not the answerer)

I’ve never been happier, thatyou enjoyed DotFS. You want angst and Teiko!Aokise, I’m stoked when the ideahit me, I can finally gift you a fic that you might actually like.

32) Are any of yourcharacters based on real people?

Some scenes are loosely basedon first hand experiences.

33) What’s the biggestcompliment you’ve gotten?

“Your storytelling is impeccablysubtle; you show but don’t tell. As I was reading, I could see everything in mymind as if I was there with the characters and living through them. The littleshock at the end was bloody brilliant.”

This comment is quite memorable andimportant to me because it’s for the first-ever angsty-fangsty story I’vewritten way back when (for Final Fantasy VIII fandom (my first love)), withonly 600 words. I was young, had just started writing and simply doing it because I deeply love the characters. This comment made me so happy years ago,and had sparked a bigger desire in my young-once heart to put my ideas intowords and throw ‘em all out there for people to see.

34) What’s the harshestcriticism you’ve gotten?

The reader said that she was terriblydisappointed with the ending I had. She said she followed the story with highhopes but the ending just, meh.

Well, I was young, it’s formy first fanfic and I’ve written all chapters of it before I posted so I’m notreally that open to changes and suggestions. But looking back, yes, reader wasdefinitely right, the ending sucked.

35) Do you share your storyideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Close to my chest. I’m notreally that confident with the things in my head, I mostly feel I’m getting judged when I share my ideas.

36) Can you give us a spoilerfor one of your WIP’s?

In Where You Belong, therewill be a scene where they celebrate Kise’s birthday and everyone but Aho gothim a gift.

37) What’s the funniest storyyou’ve written?

Maybe, Rest is for the Weak?You said Aomine was strangely acting like a mother hen in that one.

38) If you could collab withany other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspiresome collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

I’d love to work with any ofthe friendos in the AoKise~ discord.

39) Do you prefer first,second or third person?

Third person. I like tellingstories through the bird’s eye view, it gives me a lot of control.

40) Do people know you writefanfiction?

For sure, my mom will disownme if she finds out about the things I write. Only two people in real life knewthat I do fanfics. I told one friend during high school and a cousin who is somuch into anime accidentally found out.

41) What’s your favouriteminor character you’ve written?

Ranmaru (Wallflower) in Loveis a Scheme. With his charms, he successfully made his friend jealous out ofhis wits which resulted into an awkward confession.

42) Song fic - What made youdecide to use the song xxx for xxx.

I only wrote 1 songfic forthe heck of it. The song was very popular at that time

43) Has anyone ever guessedthe plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

I haven’t encountered suchcomments from my readers..

44) What is the last line youwrote?

Can’t you see how he looks atour Ryou-chan like he’s looking at fireworks?

45) What spurs you on duringthe writing process?

Thinking I’m getting closerto fluffy, lovey-dovey scenes gets me going. The fluff scenes are my ‘checkpoint’,my pit-stop for every leg of the writing journey.

46) Ireally loved your [Distance of the Falling Sun] fic. If you were ever to do asequel, what do you think might happen in it?

Hey, thank you for the love!If there will be a sequel, it will be a countdown beginning from 1 to 10, set10 years into the future, in Aomine’s POV as he recalls the ups and downs, thejoys and pains of his beautiful relationship with Kise.

47) Here’s afic title – [The man who never lied (or morelike, what would a story inspired by that song be about? :D)]. Whatwould this story be about? (from Ruru’s ask too)

Mmm. Ok, first, I love Maroon 5 and ADAM LEVINE! I’ll write an AoKiserunning along these lines: What Kise would give up for Aomine to achieve hisdreams… What Aomine would give up just to keep Kise’s love. Or, Aomine is tornbetween choosing to follow his dreams of becoming an NBA player or keeping thelove of his life. On the premise that he can’t have both because real life islike that… you can’t be thoroughly happy XD

(Because I’ve read a lot ofstories wherein Ao gets to be NBA star and gets Kise too. Not that I don’tthink he deserves all the joys of this life, but I want to explore this Ao whogets to give up his dreams for Kise. Ofc, I’ll make him choose love overdreams, heh.)

48) What’s your favouritetrope to write?

Enemies to lovers.

49) Can you remember thefirst fic you read? What was it about?

Yes, I do. Its title is Giftof Love (FFVIII fandom). It’s inspired by O’Henry’s The Gift of the Magi. Lotsof angst and fluff in the end.

50)If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life,which would it be and why?

Angst. I love writing journeys that explorethe depths of human emotions and I think there’s no better way than angst tobring me there. But with happy endings. Always with happy endings. Because thatis the whole point of my shipping, to see my children struggle in the midst ofthe storm, turbulent waters raging all around, and see them dock safe and soundto happy couple-land.

[howimetmybaby-blog]

How it feels to be emotionally disturbed during ur last few weeks of pregnancy...

Dear baby, its ur apparently 37w1d today (20 feb) corrected EDD. Alhamdulillah, you've been doing fine and you've been moving well. I'm getting more tired to be honest and havent started my stairs which i've been bugging ur abah but he is busy with his deliveroo i can't bear to make him more tired. Maybe i shall do more pilates and yoga.... Anyway, i know that the past few months have been good with u, but these few weeks i've been worried about a condition that suddenly became so worrying. I've been having black nails since young - i guess since i was even in my teens... But they didnt really get really dark but these few weeks, my nails have gotten darker and more of the nails have been getting the bands. I shouldn't have googled it, im regretting it soooo much because it is scaring the heck out of me. I don't want to think too much of it or even mention t because im afraid its true. I wanted to go to the polyclinic and ask for a referral to National Skin Centre to check it out but my mum, ur abah and Dr su asked me to wait it out until after i give birth to check. I guess that is the better iption, because i wouldn't want to be extra depressed during my postpartum if its really bad news. But im hoping not because i did read that pregnancy causes it too and there are ppl who got it during/after pregnancy - just that there're no follow ups since they posted those issues... Anyway, im trying to think positive as much as i can and really hoping its just a pregnancy side effect of skin pigmentation due to increase of melanin when pregnant (it usually darkens ur skin and freckles etc). Anyway, alhmdulillah, it seems like ur sister Nawwal is excited for ur arrival. I've been conditioning her and letting her know of ur arrival. Washed some clothes for u and she assured me that they were for u (even though some were her previously worn clothes) She admitted that thise were 'for adik', so alhamdulillah. Also, alhamdulillah, she is starting to like and accept school. No more cries to get ready for school for whole of last week. She even wanted to go to school at 10.30pm on of the nights last week. Ur abah and I had to bring her down to show her the school bus is not coming until morning. It was hilarious but really cute. :D I'm abit worried because i've been having negative feelings about ur abah's family. They didn't do anything wrong, but i just felt angry... I dunno why. But anyway, last week, ur aki & nenek bought a rank with fish for ur sister... I know it sounds bad but i told them that we will not be bringing the fish home because: 1. I can't be bothered to look after more living things - especially fish, and im having another baby for goodness sake... I don't need the additional stress. 2. I simply told them nobody is gg to look after the fish and I am lazy to do it. Yup, direct and simple to understand. 3. To be honest, i felt that Hafiz and I shouldnhave been consulted first if they could buy a pet for my child. Because come on, who will be the one responsible to look after the fish? Me or Hafiz, right? They are living things, they have lives that we have to look after, and if i cant even look after plants well, what about fish, who will clean the tank? Who will feed it? Me? Kirim salam ok... Yes, i know its for ur sister Nawwal, but i still felt because if it was to be put in our homes and its another (many more) living thing (s), then we should have been consulted on this too. Imagine if it was a cat? I would freak out even more and be deranged. Nasib bukan cat cos i kmow they're all afraid of cats. Lol! So, i told them they can keep the tank for nawwal at their place - they have bibik anyway she can clean the fish tank or whatever, im not gg to be responsible for it - and i hope they won't be so hurt about it. Im sure they're abit hurt but i was quite upset about it too... I kmow they wanted to be fair to all their grandchildren... But.... I seriously DO NOT like the idea of keeping animals in our homes except for in the freezer to be eaten. But this is not why i am having negative feelings about ur abah's family... I guess i have a love-hate r/s with them. But maybe i felt that we always had to sacrifice for them. Well, we didnt bisit them for more than a month... I felt that knowing how tight we are with our budgets and how busy ur bah is working, if they wanted to meet ur sister, they should come down and visit us instead of us having to spend alot of money travelling to their place all the time. But i guess they dont see that. I know sometimes ur abah hs an ego and act like he has so much money but i know how tight he is and how we need to strap ourselves, i even try to reduce buying pantry items because i just dont want to burden ur abah too much... I also feel they like to celebrate birthdays alot within themselves, lole, they had to celebrate ur aki's bday 2 times, on the actual day and the weekend... Cant they just choose one day? Anyway, i had other plans on the actual day (visit from Yi Xiu mummy's Poly friend) and the day after, supposed to celebrate ur aki@: bday again but i was so sick i couldn't get up, so we didnt go (although i kept asking ur abah to go with ur sister but he refused). Ur father's family are nice ppl, im talking about ur grandparents and great-grandparents, but sometimes, i guess we just have different frequencies. But sometimes im in awe by how ur father and i can be compatible for each other... Funny huh? Ur abah is a wonderful man, alhamdulillah. I feel so blessed to be married to him. He loves me, i know that but im quite a bitch i guess. Oh Allah plwase forgive me for my shortcomings... Today he finally put up the shelves in ur sister's room (Which u are gg to share with her by the way) and it looks better' im so happy because the walls have been looking so bare... He also hung up the hooks i boight since forever in ur sister's room and i love them too! Alhamdulillah!!! So anyway, yes, i've been a tad too emotional these past weeks since the googling thingy and i am tryungggg not to google about it again and will check after my confinement i guess. For now, im just gg to keep praying its just a pregnancy side effect and will go away post partum. I hope i will get to live a long life to look after ur sister and u and also be a better wife to ur abah and a better daughter and daughter in law to both sets of parents. And at the same time, u, in there, dont be a crybaby like mummy ok? Remember u are strong, no matter what challenges he gives u. I cant wait to continue adding more stuffs for u innour home, like ur cot and some cabinets. Hopefully ur abah can find time to make them work.... Ok dear, its late... Time to catch my forty winks. We'll meet soon ok? Very soon. Be good and make my labour easy please! Love you!!!